S Annual Abrams Lecture Andrew Cuomo Delivers B has driven the budget out of bal- of out budget the driven has government, an dysfunctional already with compounded distress, thestate’s muchof ills. Economic He blamed bloated government for placeof for a crusading Democrat. out seemed York New facing tion situa- the of assessment Cuomo’s presentationto explain his agenda. and employed a helpful PowerPoint reform, government for vision his outlining to speech his of much devoted He accountability. and governmentbeenreform has mo Governor Spitzer.and former dustry, members the of legislature the of financial crisis, the student loan aftermath in- the Wall in Street investigated has Spitzer. Cuomo Eliot predecessor, his of tenure headline-grabbing the considering achievement major a not, has Justice of Department the that areas tackled and cases Cuomo, 51, has pursued landmark for President Clinton. As NYAG, Secretary (HUD) Development Urban and Housing becoming in the Manhattan DA’s served office before Cuomo younger the and Cuomo, Mario General Attorney Governor former of Son government. federal in and posts state other through march predictable a was office august racial, oreconomic. law to do justice,” whether social, the “use general attorneys cause be service, public all of form” “purest the is general attorney an being that him told who Clinton, Bill from inspiration of moment valuable intheprivate sector. be will develop they skills legal the us, reminded Cuomo And, chests.their in reward of sense a get They difference. a make can sector public the in lawyers and today, matters government the necessarily their entire careers. just spend a few years in service, not Surprisingly, he exhorted studentsservice.publicpursuestudentsto to encourage to was unsurprisingly, Lecture. Service Public Abrams Robert Annual September 14, delivering the 13th an NYU Law assembled throng on General Andrew Cuomo spoke to f f a t y A Another major thrust for Cuo - this to rise own Cuomo’s Cuomo recounted a personal Because all? at serve Why Cuomo’stalk, of theme The Attorney State York New k o h s Infra W r e t i r ! isanything but informative. some pizza. Seriously, doit. Hungry? Why wait? GotoKesteandeat LRAP ismoreevil thanyou thought. A y y a r ’11 - Volume XLIII,Number2 New Jersey Attorney General. wasAnne Milgram ’96, the current Attorney General. Last year’sAbrams ’63, whospeaker himself served as vice Lecture was endowed by Robert per andbecomewell-rounded. bit more seriously, read a newspa again, he would drink more, and a schoollaw to go could he if that in disarray. And he even admitted market job legal the with anxiety first. He also joshed about student him” met they if administration his wouldn’tjoined “people have ing he “can’t hold a job,” and that say career, varied own his about est He and jokedgood-humored. side,to be showing mod- himself human his bared slick.He all not seat in the Democratic primary. challengefactPatersonthe in for will Cuomo rumored is Cuomo.It to nomination Democratic the notstandforre-election andyield entlyurgedGovernor Paterson to days later, President Obama appar few a just that surprise no as came public service address to students. It a political program rather than of a unveilingthelike more felt times presentationservice,hispublicat policy discussion back full circle to PowerPoint) to the government. tracting top talent (“YOU!” read his at course, of and, reform, finance campaign commission), partisan non- a (bylines district of drawing re- reform, lobbying reform, ing wouldfinanc - public are likesee to have the citizenry step forward. call a constitutional convention and scorn – so the remaining optiontheanswer, either ishenoted– with to isn’t legislature The mobile. highly York’sNewthe wealthymost are taxestion,asalreadyare high and - solu the isn’t taxes Raising ance. The The Robert Abrams Public Ser was speech Cuomo’s Still, Although Cuomo brought his he initiatives the of Some the commentator page 4 page 3 page 2 - - - - -

C B During Thio Town HallMeeting Revesz Answers Students’ Questions a Googlesearchlookingwhena do not does committee ments appoint the why and process vetting the as such topics broad about monologues delivering minutes several spent Revesz Nixon. Richard of interview famous Frost’s David in sions ses- taping 11 first the mirrored unfolded,however, the situation session answer and question closedthe first minutesfew of the As anticipated. long had it expectantly waited for the grillingdent to the front lines, the crowd answer session. and finally an open question and Bar Association (SBA) President, byYoshinori Sasao, the Student answersessionmoderatedand from the Dean, a closed question general background information hour was divided into three parts: the halls, town previous than ing on a slightly different format about all things Li-ann Thio. Tak- Richard Revesz provideDean answershear finally to Lounge a town hall meeting in Greenbergteeth with questions, the to gathered armed at students, as day g n i t u b i r t n o y reopened, sidetobefencedoff for planscallfortheeastern renovations. cool offin. Don’t gettoousedtoit,though. Now of thepark thatthecenteror have portions been western After over ayear, thefountainin Washington Square Park finallyopened againfor Greenwich Villagers to E h tdn esae f h e okUiest colo Law theNewYork Schoolof University The StudentNewspaperof - Presi SBA their Marching airwasThe tense last Tues- c i r a I v e n o s r W r e t i r ’11 - questions by the SBA President,questions by theSBA andageneral question-and-answer session. Dean Richard Revesz dividedthemeetingintothree aninitialspeech, parts: decision to appoint Thio, evenRevesz in thedefended the administration’son more pressing student concerns. ment, the town hall seemed to focus laughter fromthe crowd. littlea bitshorter,” drawing hearty Revesz’s]be answers[questions, torequest that “for thethe rest of wordablegetatolong inenough windedanswers, finallySasaowas matter. the Thio of without really delving into the heart intoprospective faculty candidates, After that ice-breaking mo- ice-breaking that After long- these of few a After See of her ideasbeennecessary,her of these that had a more rigorous evaluation tobeweak and unsupportable and tedthat hebelieved herarguments admit views.thoseHe of support faculty,but rather her arguments in disqualify her from a positionThio’s shouldbenotit viewsonthat the thatacademiccommunity andan discussionideas” of is necessary in freedom.” He stressed thatremarks, a on the“robust basis “academic of face of her discriminatory views and THIO September 30,2009 page3 Stavan Desai MIchael Mix - Page 2 Opinions &c Editorials September 30, 2009 Before Cashing that Check from a Biglaw Revesz Did Not Get It All Firm, You Must Read the LRAP Fine Print Wrong Regarding Thio

By Mo l l y Wa l l a c e ’10 you’ll make even less. Say you money and thereby reduce the By Mi c h ae l Mi x ’11 in general? Or against New St a f f Wr i t e r work for 12 weeks and make amount that LRAP will have to Ed i t o r -i n -Ch i e f England Patriots fans? How $37,200. The tax on that is cover post-graduation, making can NYU possibly come up LRAP has some fine print going to be just over $13,000. more funds available to more About halfway through with a reasonable line? you public interest leaning folks So you’ll get to keep $15,000 – graduates. the town hall meeting last If the administration might want to know about be- 13,000. A whopping $2,000. Secondly, if the goal is week about the controver- couldn’t rescind Thio’s ap- fore you rush off to take that Well, that makes sense. actually to provide graduates sial appointment of Li-Ann pointment, what could it firm job so you can “take the LRAP’s goal is to get people with greater flexibility in career Thio as a visiting professor, do? Well, waiting for her to money and run.” into public interest, isn’t it? So choice, than perhaps the pro- Dean Richard Revesz was withdraw is always a pos- Any earnings you make it should create incentives for gram should be set up to allow asked what he would do if sibility. But if Thio had ac- over $15,000 in a summer “are people to take public interest students to experience as wide a a potential visiting profes- tually come to NYU, would deemed to be an addition to the summer jobs as well. variety of career options as they sor was a Holocaust denier. that have been that bad student contribution.” Transla- Not exactly. LRAP’s stated can while in law school. Some Revesz dodged and evaded in reality? She would have tion: anything you make over goals, according to “LRAP students might be undecided as as if he were Oscar De La had about one person per $15,000 is money LRAP will not 101” are “to provide gradu- to whether they want to work at Hoya, saying it depends on class, which is embarrassing help you pay back towards your ates with greater flexibility in a firm, or go into public inter- the context. Looking at the enough (though makes grad- loans after law school. career choice,” and to “provide est. Students who choose to audience’s responses, I felt ing papers a tad easier). She This means that if you in- assistance in repayment of law work at firms their 2L summers that many people were not also would have probably tend to go into public interest school loans.” Neither of these in order to explore their options satisfied with that answer. been asked to participate in after law school, taking a firm goals are furthered by setting may end up getting punished But it was at that moment multiple debates and meet- job will actually earn you LESS up incentives to take public later on by getting less funding that I really felt sympathy ings regarding homosexual money than taking a public in- interest jobs 2L summer. In if they do ultimately choose to for the Dean, as the ques- rights. And if her justifica- terest job. Say you work for a fact, the way the system is cur- go into public interest. tion was a microcosm for tions for her positions are as firm for ten weeks. That makes rently set up hinders both of Finally, if the system is this entire Thio debacle, atrocious as Revesz claims, you a nice $31,000 for the sum- these goals. set up this way to encourage and the unfair position that Thio would feel further dis- mer. You get to keep $15,000— For starters, the fewer stu- students to seek out public he found himself in. I know dain in the NYU community. way more than the $6,500 2L dents to take PILC grants, the interest summer employment, he’s come under a lot of criti- Wouldn’t that be more effec- summer PILC grant, right? more institutional money there that goal is short-sited. While cism throughout this whole tive retribution than having Wrong. Because between city, is to put towards LRAP repay- 2Ls in public interest summer process from many in the her stay in Singapore, unac- state, federal, and social security ments. Furthermore, creating a jobs undoubtedly accomplish a law school and on the blo- countable? taxes the government is going to disincentive to earn more money good deal in their 10 weeks on gosphere, but it’s really easy Even if the administra- want about 35% of that, a dent means LRAP will have more to the job, those accomplishments for us to judge when we are tion wasn’t totally in the that the LRAP office does not cover when students graduate. are likely to pale in comparison not in his shoes. When it re- wrong, I will admit that it consider when determining your No student will work more than to what a graduate can do with ally comes down to it, I think definitely made a mistake by earnings. So your $15,000 gets the minimum amount of weeks a full career in public interest. the administration acted very not realizing Thio’s views in reduced by the amount you have at a firm if they know that every The program should focus on rationally throughout this the first place. In the future, to pay to taxes which on $31,000 additional paycheck will reduce maximizing the funding that entire process, and definitely there needs to be a “google is about $10,800. So you’ll come their actual income. Whereas will enable graduates to carry should not have withdrawn search” policy for all incom- away with $4,200. if LRAP used proportions in- on NYU law’s tradition of be- Thio’s appointment. ing professors. The benefit Worse still, if you work at stead of flat dollar cap, students ing a “private university in the If NYU had indeed re- of doing this clearly out- a firm for more than 10 weeks, would be inclined to earn more public service.” scinded Thio’s appointment, weighs the cost of wasting it would have set a dangerous about 30 seconds browsing

precedent for two reasons. the internet. First, the administration Also, as we get further would be acknowledging and further into the digital all of us at The Commentator salute you. entire promo, even though it is sideways, took you the time toIf read actually this that it has a certain concep- era, and potential profes- the tion of right and wrong. The sors have Facebook pages, commentator vast people at NYU Law Twitter accounts, blogs, and The Student Newspaper of the New York University School of Law think that Thio’s views are even their own web sites, completely absurd. But does the school should also check Editor-in-Chief that mean that NYU as an social media to make sure Michael Mix ’11 entity should also have that that there isn’t a photo of belief? There are millions a professor posing at a bar Managing Editor of people around the world with a 16-year-old, while Joseph Jerome ’11 and definitely in this country simultaneously doing PCP, who would completely agree flashing gang signals, and with Thio. Many of them illegally broadcasting Ma- Staff Editor are probably politicians in jor League Baseball games. Stavan Desai ’11 Congress or talking heads on This wouldn’t be hard; I’m television. Why censor that sure NYU could easily find Staff Writers segment of the population a student who would love Ashok Ayyar ’11 just because the New York to browse Facebook look- Dennis Chanay ’11 liberal elite does not agree? ing for embarrassing photos Andrew Kloster ’10 Isn’t it the job of any top of professors. That student Gavin Kovite ’10 law school to foster intel- could even earn some credit Molly Wallace ’10 ligent debate on the issues, for the endeavor. no matter how abhorrent In the end, it’s time to Web Editor some people’s views are? put this controversy behind Jason Law ’11 It’s dangerous to say that us. NYU clearly made mis- NYU’s position is the right takes, but that does not mean The Commentator serves as a forum for news, opinions and ideas of members one, without even giving the that we should completely of the Law School community. The Editorial Board consists of the Editor- other side an opportunity to villainize the administra- in-Chief and the Managing Editor. Only editorials and policies developed be heard, even if that other tion, because I think that by the Editorial Board reflect the opinion of the Editorial Board. All other side seems so bigoted and most of us would have made opinions expressed are those of the author and not necessarily those of The backwards. similar decisions if we were Commentator. The Commentator is issued on alternate Wednesdays during the The second issue is in power. Furthermore, it academic year except during vacations and examination periods. Advertising where to draw the line. The sparked intelligent discourse rates are available on request. Subscriptions are also available at a rate of $15 per year. Letters to the Editor should be sent to the following address, Thio situation seems like an on a host of issues, including either on paper or via e-mail. easy decision to us; Holo- gay rights, professor’s views, caust deniers, racists, and and the efficacy of Goo- 240 Mercer Street sexists also would be easy gling. Any time where the New York, NY 10012 calls. But what about in a Dean of a top-5 law school 212.998.6080 (phone) closer situation? What would tells a town hall meeting [email protected] happen if a professor was ve- about what happens when he hemently outspoken against Googles himself, you know All submissions become property of The Commentator. abortion? Or against illegal that a controversy has gotten aliens? Or against foreigners way out of control. September 30, 2009 News &c Features Page 3 Keste Brings the Flavors of Italy All the Way to Bleecker Street

By St a v a n De s a i ’11 day the wait can escalate up to zarella, tomatoes and a balsamic fruity smell of the heated olive Keste doesn’t offer dessert, St a f f Ed i t o r a n d an hour for a table. The restau- dressing was basic and tasty but oil topping the pie brought a so after polishing off our plates, El y s e Fe u e r ’11 rant doesn’t take reservations, fairly small. We also had the wonderful aroma to our table we sauntered over to GROM for Contributing Wr i t e r so arrive early, or grab a drink Toscana Salad ($8), at a nearby bar while you wait. which had mixed Move over Lombardi’s! Keste does have a bar but it is greens, sliced pears, There’s a new pizza in town! small and usually packed with toasted walnuts and After reading the New York Mag- those eating at the bar. a lemon vinaigrette. azine review of Keste, which The wine selection is small The vinaigrette rated the restaurant’s Neapoli- but there are many affordable was overly oily and tan pies as the best in the city, options. We ordered a half overpowered the we had to see if the pizza would carafe of the second cheapest delicate ingredients; live up to the hype. Keste, which white, which was a fairly stan- it could have used opened last March, offers gour- dard Italian white and a half more acid. met style thin crust pizzas at carafe of the house red (the When it came reasonable prices. cheapest on the menu), which to the pizza, we chose the Funghi ($14) and the Pizza Del Re ($19). We were seated next to the bell-shaped Stavan Desai wood-burning oven and were able to Keste’s pizzas are cooked in a wood-burning oven that is easily visible inside the restaurant. watch our pizzas being formed, topped and then when the pizzas arrived. gelato to finish off the meal. placed inside the oven. The The Pizza Del Re was a Keste is a great pizza place, restaurant earns an “A” for its white pie that had layers of but this is not your usual New crust, which is of the true Nea- truffle spread, prosciutto di York slice. Keste slices aren’t politan style — chewy, airy and parma, mushrooms and fresh overly large, dripping with lightly charred. The crust is a mozzarella. The truffle spread grease, or piled on with cheese bit thicker than a normal New provided a complex flavor pro- (not to knock New York style York thin crust pizza, but is just file that distinguished the pizza pizza, because it can definitely as light and satisfying sans all from a simple mushroom white be amazing in its own right), but the grease. pizza. The prosciutto adds a if you’re looking for flavorful, The Funghi pizza had slices slightly salty flavor but not so authentic tasting Neapolitan of fresh mozzarella and was much as to overtake the overall pizza, Keste is hard to beat. layered with bright San Marzano flavor of the pizza. The flavors Keste is located at 271 tomatoes and fresh basil. The meld together to give you one Bleeker Street and is open for Stavan Desai pizza was then topped with a of the most approachable, yet lunch and dinner daily. 212-243- Ordering a Funghi pizza at Keste in the West Village will cost you $14. medley of sautéed mushrooms. flavorful, pizzas we’ve tasted 1500. Credit cards accepted. The mushrooms were perfectly in the city. In fact, if classic, Our group of four arrived was better than expected. cooked and added texture and oily New York Style pizza isn’t Want more inspired ideas about at the restaurant around 7:45 We ordered two salads for an earthy flavor to the pizza, a prerequisite, it’s probably the where to dine? Check out our food pm on a Friday night. Although the table. The Della Casa ($7) which married beautifully with most flavorful pizza slice I’ve blog at IdCrossTheStreetForThat. we were seated promptly, on any with mixed greens, fresh moz- the lightly charred crust. The had outside of Tuscany. Wordpress.Com. THIO: Dean Gives Long Answers Continued from page 1 context, he was also unsure whether such a scenario would ultimately weaknesses would have been taken change his position. into consideration. Providing a forum for such op- Revesz’s academic freedom posing viewpoints, he maintained, is defense extended to his response to crucial to an academic environment; the question of why Thio was asked only by engaging in a dialogue will to teach a human rights course of we be able to “test” the ideas that all things. He said the only concern people like Thio hold. He lamented should be whether a professor was that she was not there to directly defend her views and participate in a “robust debate with the com- munity.” In the open question and answer session, Revesz fur- ther argued that other countries are at dif- ferent stages in their development of ideas, and that only positive Michael Mix things could be gained by encouraging this The town-hall audience listens eagerly to the Dean. kind of international exposure. a “fair and probing academic in However, even after the open the area,” not whether she holds a question and answer session, some particular viewpoint. If a professor students were left feeling unsatisfied. was asked to teach a course on the “I feel like the school ultimately feels death penalty, for example, would it that it did nothing wrong in the hir- matter whether he or she was for or ing process, and it kept developing against it as long as she could engage this slippery slope, asking if they’d students in a broader discussion of have to rescind an offer to a profes- the issue? He extended this logic sor who said something years ago to the chilling hypothetical, posed or which required a quick Google by Sasao, of allowing a Holocaust search,” said Scott Blair ’11. The Thio denier to teach a course on human denouement is not over, though, as rights. Though the Dean vacillated, Professor Kenji Yoshino and As- saying that everything “depends on sistant Dean Deborah Ellis take the the context” and he “couldn’t really stage today in a Thio-inspired debate answer the question” without that about academic freedom. Arts & Entertainment Page 4 c September 30, 2009 The Informant! Misses the Mark, TV FOR SALE!!! No Really, It Needs to GO!

Despite Oscar-Worthy Weight Gain By De n n i s Ch a n a y ’11 news networks as ego enhancers, watching the same promiscu- St a f f Wr i t e r instead of sources of information. ous, vacuous, self-serving yet in- That is, if I agree with a particular terchangeable characters reality By Br i a n By r n e , LL.M. ‘10 nates every scene transition and Well, I finally bought a decision Congress has made today, actually has to offer. When this Contributing w r i t e r sets the tone of a cheesy sitcom. television and it hasn’t been I tune into MSNBC. If I disagree, I happened clever producers jumped Combined with yellow faded cin- pretty. Nothing is on, but noth- tune in FOX. This way, I can sleep at the challenge, teaming up with An actor’s willingness to fluctu- ematography, events feel like they ing has stopped me from sinking soundly, knowing that every opin- talented scriptwriters to create ate his own weight is a solid indica- take place in the 70s rather than the my nights into this devil box ion I have is completely supported semi-real characters who could help tor of commitment both to his craft, 90s (the decade in which the film either. It seems television is the by everybody else, and anyone us sink even lower. and to a particular role. Typically, it is actually set). We are also privy new Youtube in my apartment, who disagrees with me is either a Perhaps VH1 has the answer? conveys utmost belief in a project, to Whitacre’s internal monologues except it has all these great ad- socialist or a racist. Of course, if I I gave it a shot, watching endless and is a tried and trusted method throughout, and although there are vertisements that take up half feel particularly irrelevant or incom- countdown shows fade into end- of generating hype and publicity in some genuinely funny one-liners to the airtime. Even this article was petent in my choice of profession, less hook-up shows. At one point, advance of the release. Even more be found here, they fail to reveal striking than the free advertising, is the character in any meaningful the patent nexus between personal way. This is a major flaw, because metamorphosis and critical acclaim. it is impossible for the audience De Niro’s weight gain for Raging to truly connect, understand, or Bull was a stepping-stone to Oscar empathize with Whitacre. Because Glory, as was Charlize Theron’s for Soderbergh keeps the audience at Monster. Similarly, Tom Hanks, and such distance, the unfolding events Russell Crowe enjoyed Oscar nomi- and the behavior of Damon’s char- nations for Cast Away and The Insider acter seems farcical. Farce quickly respectively, both striking examples fosters disinterest, and disinterest of weight variation. It is hardly sur- eventually leads to frustration. prising then, that ’s 30- This directorial misjudgment pound weight gain for The Informant! warrants potent criticism because received plenty of press attention. the story of Mark Whitacre had The word Oscar was even thrown immense potential to be dramatized around haphazardly in the media, in an intriguing, and affecting way, no doubt a combination of the without necessarily sacrificing some abovementioned critical expecta- of the finer comedic notes. The tions and an exploitative marketing absolute commitment to comedy is machine. However, one could not inappropriate for the subject matter discount the hype, for it had credible and the complexities of the pro- foundation; especially considering tagonist. With the exception of one that a director as accomplished scene, Damon is never given a plat- as was at the form to reveal the deep struggles and helm. Ultimately though, despite flaws of his character, and I contend its potential, the resulting movie is a that under different direction, he disappointment, plagued by poor di- could have easily turned in the finest rectorial decisions and an artificially performance of his career. Soder- The TV is trying to grab another unspecting law student. ... Quick, someone grab the remote! imposed choice of genre. bergh breezes from scene to scene The Informant! tells the true missing countless opportunities to written at the last moment with Nancy Grace at Headline News is I thought I’d hit the jackpot; being story of an international price fix- let Damon shine, and the result is a college football over my left always there to let me know that treated to a world-class musical ing scandal and the insider Mark wearisome mess of a movie that feels shoulder. It’s all a drug. “Why I’m in good company. performance by the girls or Real Whitacre (Damon) who brought cartoonish and unnecessary. Even if am I doing this,” I ask myself. Speaking of relevance, let’s Chance at Love 2, entitled “Animals the cartel to light. Whitacre co- one disagrees that a deeper explo- “Check what’s on Food Net- not forget President Obama, a are Awesome.” With environmen- ration of Mark work,” my brain answers. man so relevant, he’s inescapable. tally minded lyrics like “tigers need Whitacre would The Food Network has I used to get a cultish vibe from a happy place” and “orangutans have offered been a great escape for me be- his campaign. But surfing the tube are similar to humans” how could greater satisfac- cause the rest of my television last Sunday to find him on five I go wrong? tion, it is difficult is inhabited by terrible, terrible different channels talking to five I also try to take refuge in talk to comprehend people. Kanye West hates white different people at the same time shows; namely, Tyra Banks and why Soderbergh girls and Glenn Beck hates has led me to the conclusion that Maury Povich. Tyra is amazing. did not engage everybody else. Old news, give our President may, in fact, have Her ranting personal stories, inap- in a sober dra- me some Iron Chef. More than supernatural powers. I imagine a propriate audience gifts, and deeply matization of this, however, Food Network world where Obama breaks onto held conviction that “this hairdo” the price fixing is one of the last channels left the airwaves to deliver speeches is the “real her,” bring a type of investigation. It that actually delivers on what it while simultaneously interrupting realness to her show that make it seems obvious purports to be. The only other other Obama speeches, already in all the more easy to appreciate her that this would channels that deliver on their progress. many talents and upsides. Maury, Matt blows the whistle, while struggling to fit into the stall. have been more names are Black Entertainment All of his salemanship makes on the other hand is a tyrant. There rewarding, par- Television and the Woman’s En- me long for that other great pitch- are few things more hysterical operated with the government to ticularly in light of his past success tertainment Network. So here I man who was once ever present on than Maury’s phobia shows. Think make recordings of competitor with Traffic, and Erin Brockovich. am watching the Third-Annual my TV screen, Billy Mays. Unlike Maury attempting to “cure” a agreements, and the majority of The Informant! is an example Best Burger Competition the mere mortals in Washington, young woman’s fear of balloons by the movie centers on his duplici- of an established director seeking The Entertainment Chan- Billy Mays could probably sell any- luring and trapping her in a locked tous life as both corporate star and to challenge himself personally in nel is boring beyond belief. Even thing, including affordable health- room full of the things. It may be amateur secret agent. Antitrust the unfamiliar territory of com- E! makes fun of E!. CourtTV care. In fact, he did. It was called the height of schadenfreude. students who may be salivating at edy. Personal ambition is always has become TruTV, now with iCan. How did he do it? Cocaine? But, alas, I am increasingly the prospect of seeing the Sherman commendable, but that’s probably 75 percent less truth. When the Yes, but also sincerity. Nothing finding myself bored; perhaps Act on the silver screen can rest as- little comfort to Matt Damon, a History Channel isn’t telling sells a product like sincerity, and more bored than I have ever been sured that the legal framework of fine, and committed actor who me about UFOs it’s providing Billy Mays had it. Maybe what the these last six months I’ve spent events are treated very superficially, was has been let down so badly me with prophecies of an im- President needs is a fire in his eyes, without a television. Even Maury and watered down to the point of by Soderbergh in this instance. pending apocalypse. Cartoon a Maysesque fanatical commitment Povich chasing a hysterically crying annoyance. Nonetheless, it is of Worse still, the Jason Bourne six- Network is dabbing in re-runs to things like aresol lawn fertilizers woman around his studio with a course interesting that Hollywood pack is gone, and all that remains of Saved by the Bell and the Brit- and super-adhesive wall putties large dill pickle fails to amuse me. was content to foist such dry subject is a truly forgettable film. The ish Office. The Learning Channel that can only come from a big bag I now must admit, that I have a matter onto the masses. Ultimately, next time Damon is inspired to has now become the de-facto of blow. television problem. This boredom it is the very fact that price fixing pile on the pounds, he would be Freak Show Channel, cashing I miss Billy Mays, just like I wouldn’t worry me so much, if Dr. is so far removed from traditional wise to ensure the director shares in on anyone who wants to see miss a lot of other things about Phil wasn’t so adamant that “only popcorn fare, which leads Soder- his commitment to character the shortest, fattest, most hairy, the television of my youth. I miss boring people get bored.” bergh to derail the movie. portrayal. Reflecting on the suc- most fertile or otherwise geneti- Jerry Springer, new episodes of “Am I becoming a boring From the outset, the director is cess of The Departed, maybe he cally anomalous members of the Cops and Cheaters. It seems trashy person?” I ask myself. This time relentless in his quest to sell the film should rejoin Martin Scorsese, at human species. TV will forever have my heart. So, my mind doesn’t answer—exactly as a comedy. The story is injected least until Soderbergh becomes Even the news isn’t really what am I am left with? the answer I needed. All of this with lightheartedness in an arbitrary reacquainted with his talents. In the news anymore. The prob- The Hills has taught me that being established: the TV is $110, manner, most irritatingly in the the interim, Soderbergh always lem has gotten so bad that I’ve somewhere along the way the serious offers only, no refunds, form of a hideous score that domi- has Clooney! taken to using the major cable American people grew tired of buyer beware.