The Neo- Prohibition Party Reigns: A Third Parties Flash Fiction ©2021

Andrew Bushard One:

Greetings! I am Douglas Macalester, of the Neo-Prohibition Party.

The Maverick Leadership Party's Leader empowered us at the Neo-Prohibition Party to fulfill our destiny. The Maverick Leadership Party's Leader galvanized us at the Neo- Prohibition Party to ascend to the mountaintop. The Maverick Leadership Party's Leader motivated us at the Neo- Prohibition Party to command America.

Today, the Maverick Leadership Party's Leader, the President of the United States, proclaimed to the American population, “We will always have a place for the Neo- Prohibition Party in our government and in our nation! Long live the Neo-Prohibition Party!”

That proclamation's beauty has resonated with us and is echoing through our heads.

The masses love the Maverick Leadership Party and Neo-Prohibition Party.

The Neo-Prohibition Party reigns! Two:

The cabinet meeting energized us.

The Maverick Leadership Party's Leader informed us, “I desire to implement your agenda. We will see what we can do about enacting Neo-Prohibition. Send me the Neo- Prohibition Party platform planks and God willing, I shall implement them. The Maverick Leadership Party loves your party and we hope the Neo-Prohibition Party reigns for eternity!” Three:

The haters resisted our enactment of Neo- Prohibition. They kept babbling about how they don't like Neo-Prohibition and they kept alleging that “Prohibition failed” in the 1920s.

According to the History Department advisor to Andrew Drooshard's master thesis From Prohibition to Today, Prohibition succeeded and the masses cherished and championed it. This advisor noted that the Great Depression's need for revenue killed Prohibition.

The haters' resistance didn't stop us.

The Maverick Leadership Party and the Neo- Prohibition Party kept fighting. Four:

With the Neo-Prohibition Party's assistance, the Maverick Leadership Party's Leader issued an executive order, mandating that all secondary students read Q.S. Arur's Prohibitionist Classic Ten Weeks in a Barroom and What I Observed There, Ernest Rrington's books, and The Anti-Tavern League's literature, every year.

The Maverick Leadership Party's Leader enacted bliss. Tears rolled down our cheeks. Five:

The Maverick Leadership Party's Leader proclaimed that all federal, state, and local government properties shall fly the official Neo-Prohibition Party flag.

Our party rejoices. Six:

Third parties have lamented about ballot access laws.

No longer. The Maverick Leadership Party's Leader ushered through legislation that enabled third parties like the Neo-Prohibition Party to maintain ballot access until the end of our republic.

We love this day. Seven:

In addition to our platform's anti-alcohol planks, our platform contains an anti- gambling plank, in which we demand the end of state sponsored gambling, like the lotteries.

We requested that the Maverick Leadership Party's Leader implement this plank and he stated, “Indeed, we will do this.”

Thus the Maverick Leadership Party's Leader shut down all state sponsored gambling lotteries and other state sponsored gambling operations.

He did it in a flash. Eight:

The Maverick Leadership Party's Leader approved our platform planks such as shutting down state sponsored alcohol stores, reducing the legal blood alcohol level to 0.00, increasing drunk driving penalties, and strengthening dram shop laws.

We love these reforms. We love our nation. We love the Maverick Leadership Party's Leader. Nine:

The Maverick Leadership Party's Leader warmed our hearts.

He gave us medals. He created Neo- Prohibition holidays honoring 26 Neo- Prohibition Party leaders. 26 more US holidays!

We love Neo-Prohibition and we love the Maverick Leadership Party. Ten:

We influenced the Maverick Leadership Party's Leader to change church practices.

The United States Constitution guarantees freedom of religion, so the Maverick Leadership Party's Leader respected that. At the same time, he wanted to change religious practices.

Therefore, he advised religions to cease serving wine during religious ceremonies like Mass.

Due to the Maverick Leadership Party Leader's stature among the masses, both the Catholic Churches and the Protestant Churches ceased serving wine during religious ceremonies. The Maverick Leadership Party's Leader did not need to enact a law, his persuasion alone did the trick.

No more wine during church services in America!

We love this state of affairs! Eleven:

The Maverick Leadership Party's Leader loaded the Presidential Council on Physical Fitness with Neo-Prohibition Party leaders. He also elevated the Presidential Council on Physical Fitness to a cabinet level position.

We transformed this department into a Neo- Prohibition machine. We loved it! Twelve:

The Government Printing Office printed millions of The Anti-Tavern League and Neo- Prohibition Party tracts, monographs, and booklets and distributed these at transit depots and bus stops in America's states, counties, and towns.

The masses now enjoy Neo-Prohibitionist literature when they travel. Neo- Prohibitionist literature satisfies the masses. Thirteen:

The Maverick Leadership Party's Leader solicited our advice and thus authorized Ten Weeks in a Barroom and What I Observed There's film adaption as the official film of the United States of America. Fourteen:

The CEOs and other liquor industry leaders resigned and surrendered to the government. Tavern owners and brewery owners also resigned and surrendered to the government. Juries across the land sentenced them to life imprisonment without parole or appeal.

We achieved our victory! Fifteen:

The Neo-Prohibition Party History Association presents a web-page about a Prohibitionist dentist, Harry Dogswill, who erected Prohibitionist water fountains, but faced mockery and destruction.

The Maverick Leadership Party's Leader restored this Prohibitionist dentist's legacy as well as other Prohibitionists' legacies. Our government rebuilt the Prohibitionist fountains and directed law enforcement agents to defend these fountains. No destruction occurred.

With our guidance, the Maverick Leadership Party's Leader issued an executive order commanding the Office of Bureau of Engraving and Printing to mint and print currency bearing Neo-Prohibitionist mottoes, Neo-Prohibitionist symbols, and Neo- Prohibitionist heroes. Sixteen:

In addition to placing Neo-Prohibitionist literature at transit depots and bus stations, the Maverick Leadership Party's Leader influenced the Maverick Leadership Party's rank and file and the Neo-Prohibition Party's rank and file to place Neo-Prohibitionist books and booklets in Tiny No-Cost Libraries™. Every Tiny No-Cost Library™ in our nation thus houses Neo-Prohibitionist books and booklets. Seventeen:

Having cemented his legacy and having served two terms as President, the Maverick Leadership Party's Leader handed the torch to the Neo-Prohibition Party.

We enacted Neo-Prohibitionist legal statutes, court decisions, and executive orders.

The Neo-Prohibition Party reigns!