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It’s Not an Accident 52 Men 52 Weeks Write About Male Violence © IPS Communication Foundation Authors: 52 Men Coordinator-Editor: Şenay Aydemir Images: Kemal Gökhan Gürses Book Design and Implementation: Ali Seçkin Karayol May 2019 IPS Communication Foundation Faik Paşa Yokuşu No: 37/7-8 Kat:3 34430 Beyoğlu, İstanbul Phone: +90 212 2511503 Fax: +90 212 2511609 E-mail: [email protected] Web Sitesi: www.bianet.org Social Media Accounts https://www.facebook.com/bagimsiziletisimagi/ https://twitter.com/bianet_org https://www.instagram.com/bianetorg/ This book is released with the financial support of Swedish International Development Cooperation Agency (SIDA), European Union Sivil Düşün (Think Civil) Program and Oslo Metropolitan University (OsloMet). The views expressed here are those of the IPS Communication Foundation. Thus, they cannot in any way be regarded as the official views of SIDA, Sivil Düşün and OsloMet. CONTENTS Şenay Aydemir ‘Manhood’ as a Problem! 7 01 Murat Çelikkan I Must Have Gone Crazy 10 02 Mehmet Eroğlu Woman 16 03 Tuğrul Eryılmaz Sur-Karşıyaka-Cebeci-Babıali 20 04 Ümit Ünal Middle East 26 05 Hakan Bıçakcı Yes It Hurts, Rocky 30 06 Yekta Kopan I am Afraid of Confrontation! 34 07 Tayfun Pirselimoğlu An Evening in the Country 38 08 Murat Yetkin Three States of Male Violence 42 09 Atilla Taş We Men Are Very Insincere About the Issue of Woman 48 10 Şener Özmen Magnificent Manhood! 52 11 Korkut Akın My Son Should Know His Father 58 12 Gökhan Durmuş Situation of Women Reporters is Not Any Different Than the News They Report 62 13 Ahmet Ümit My Name is Hatun 68 14 Volkan Ağır ‘We’ Weren’t There But ‘We’ Were More 74 15 Alper Hasanoğlu The Curse of Being a Man… 80 16 Pakrat Estukyan The Mind of the State is Set Against Women 88 17 Sami Evren It’s Really not a Coincidence, Men Kill Women 92 18 Ali Kemal Çınar Men are ‘Etc.’ 98 19 İrfan Değirmenci Find Attached My Defense! 102 20 Mehmet Açar Spiral of Violence 108 21 Menderes Samancılar False Paradise 112 22 Barış Ünlü The World of Thought and Masculinity 116 23 Bağış Erten Growing Up As A Boarder, Bleacher Boy from Çukurova 124 24 Turgut Yüksel Tram of Lust 128 25 Fırat Yücel Confession and Confrontation May Also Be A Masculine Show of Force 134 26 Fatih Polat State of Manhood: A Comfort that Will Void Confrontation When You Let Yourself Go 140 4 27 Tanıl Bora Man-To-Man 146 28 Tan Morgül What the Hell Are You Looking At! 150 29 Haşmet Topaloğlu It Hangs in the Air 154 30 Rauf Kösemen Male Memory Is Crippled with Denial! 160 31 Süreyyya Evren 7/52 for Later 164 32 Olkan Özyurt Fatherhood: Sharp as A Needle in Theory, Lacking in Practice 168 33 Tunca Öğreten Confrontation / Insolence! 174 34 Zafer Yılmaz I Have an Objection! 178 35 Cem Erciyes Might Makes Right! 184 36 Özcan Sapan Look in the Mirror! 188 37 Mahir Ünsal Eriş My Mother, My Dear Mother, My Manly Mother! 196 38 Ulaş Bayraktar ‘Woman is Woman, My Wish is Her Non-Masculinization’ 202 39 Veysi Altay Men and Colonialists 208 40 Murat Utku The Navy Years, Civilian Life and States of Manhood 212 41 Burak Kuru Choir of Voices from the Homeland: Turkey Loves This Language 216 42 Burak Göral Saving Children and Women First! 222 43 Mehmet Bozok Masculinity Studies as a Criticism of Men and Masculinities (?) 228 44 Yenal Bilgici Shut Up, Men; Could You? 234 45 Kıvanç Sezer The Lazy State of Manhood 240 46 Ömer Madra Climate Change - Male Violence - It’s Not A Coincidence 244 47 Müfit Can Saçıntı Artificial Stupidity 252 48 Can Tonbil If You Would Excuse Me, I am Mansplaining 256 49 Derya Bengi Pata Pata! 264 50 Ramin Matin ‘Stability’ 270 51 Emre Senan A ‘Manly Man’ Gives Up 276 52 Yıldırım Türker Being Captive to Power 280 5 ‘MANHOOD’ AS A PROBLEM! ŞENAY AYDEMİR Murat Çelikkan, Mehmet Eroğlu, Tuğrul Eryılmaz, Ümit Ünal, Hakan Bıçakcı, Yekta Kopan, Tayfun Pirselimoğlu, Murat Yetkin, Atilla Taş, Şener Özmen, Korkut Akın, Gökhan Durmuş, Ahmet Ümit, Volkan Ağır, Alper Hasanoğlu, Pakrat Estukyan, Sami Evren, Ali Kemal, İrfan Değirmenci, Mehmet Açar, Menderes Samancılar, Barış Ünlü, Bağış Erten, Turgut Yüksel, Fırat Yücel, Fatih Polat, Tanıl Bora, Tan Morgül, Haşmet Topaloğlu, Rauf Kösemen, Süreyyya Evren, Olkan Özyurt, Tunca Öğreten, Zafer Yılmaz, Cem Erciyes, Özcan Sapan, Mahir Ünsal, Ulaş Bayraktar, Veysi Altay, Murat Utku, Burak Kuru, Burak Göral, Mehmet Bozok, Yenal Bilgici, Kıvanç Sezer, Ömer Madra, Müfit Can, Can Tonbil, Derya Bengi, Ramin Matin, Emre Senan and Yıldırım Türker. “It is Not an Accident/ 52 Men Write About Male Violence in 52 Weeks” article series started on January 10, 2018 and ended on January 2, 2019. The expression “It is Not an Accident” is the briefest and the most to the point sentence that expresses our trouble. The 52 people that I have listed above have cracked the door open for such a discussion, which is a first of its kind; we are thankful to them. I am going back to the beginning. When bianet contacted me in the first week of December 2017 and offered me to coordinate a series/file consisting of “articles written by men on male violence” planned to continue for a year, I got excited and anxious at the same time. It could be an exciting experience, because such discussions were very few in number, except for a handful of examples in the academia. As for the source of my anxiety, I was anxious because of the trouble that would be caused by the fact that a great majority of men do not perceive ‘shows of masculinity’ as a problem, except for physical/ emotional violence that has become visible. 7 52 WEEKS 52 MEN However, it would be highly interesting it needs to be noted that these articles to listen it from the men themselves manifest a state about us men as well. how states of ‘manhood’, which become Most of us tend to take it ‘normally’ visible and draw reaction only when they how manhood is constructed in areas are ‘violent’, are reproduced in daily life. like family, school, army and men’s Thus, we decided to request articles communities (bleachers etc.). We tend from different men in terms of both their to normalize the pampering language fields and characters. We tried to talk of our families towards us, the superior- to them face to face as far as possible subordinate relationship at the boarding and asked them to look at their own lives school, ‘the period of enlistment’ in and recount how processes of manhood military service and sexist slogans were constructed. For instance, a sports invented in the bleachers. Because the columnist would share his experience ‘normality’ of these areas gives us a power of how football rituals contribute to that we can have in social, cultural and the reconstruction and socialization of economic relations without making any manhood at football fields, in bleachers efforts. Therefore, we start to question and in daily language. We would also the manhood in general and our manhood find the opportunity to understand how in particular only when the most visible a man who studied as a boarder in a cases such as sexual, physical and college “with a long-established and emotional violence, which go against this strong tradition” now sees the domination normality, come up. of men, which different socio-economic strata build on top of each other. In this respect, I am of the opinion that these articles are full of significant The 52 Men have consisted of the ones data about not only what we men who are a part of the large “pool” of can comprehend and express about Independent Communication Network/ manhood, but also about what we bianet workers and accepted to write for cannot comprehend about it in any way. I the series. We wanted to create a cultural ultimately think that these articles penned and political spectrum which is as broad by people who have achieved a certain as possible. Apart from positive reactions, competence in their own fields and whose the articles have also drawn criticisms, works we have been closely following are especially from women. Most importantly, an important source in terms of what they the articles have been criticized with contain as well as what they leave out. reference to the columnists who have spoken about manhood and male violence I would like to underline that the following only after they have withdrawn to a safe articles published on bianet from January area, which is a highly fair criticism. 22 to 26, 2019 as part of the “About 52 Men” are highly valuable in this context: When we leave aside the political, social “The Necessity of Imagining Egalitarian and cultural construction of manhood and Manhood” by Nurseli Yeşim Sünbüloğlu; the articles revealing the reproduction “Turning to Oneself, Transforming of this construction in daily language, Manhood” by Maral Erol; “Supra-Political” 8 ŞENAY AYDEMİR by Selin Akyüz; “When Manhoods Get Themselves Talked About” by Cenk Özbay; “Can You Tell Me a Real Story?” by Sevilay Çelenk; and “The Awareness That Gives Strength to Feminist Politics” by Nebahat Akkoç. I would like to thank them. Years ago, a woman friend of mine likened ‘manhood’ to being an alcoholic, referring to the meetings of ‘unanimous alcoholics’ that we usually see in Hollywood movies. In these meetings, people speak by taking turns and start to talk by saying “My name is…, I am an alcoholic and it is a problem…” My friend joked, “You have to wake up every morning saying ‘I am a man and it is a problem’.” Then, she added, “Ultimately, when you stop drinking alcohol, the whole struggle lasts until you take the first sip.