LOOKING UP: A SHORT WOMAN'S VIEW OF A HEIGHTIST SOCIETY Lora Nakamura, MSW, California State University, Long Beach

This narrative describes an MSW student's experiences with heightism as an Asian American female in the social work arena. While at some point in their educational career social workers are made aware of as it pertains to age, gender, class, race, religion, , and sexual orientation, awareness is not present about dis- crimination as it pertains specifically to height. The exploration of heightism in the social work field catalyzes the narrator to reflect on her past experiences with discrimination, her realization of the ways heightism continues to be largelv ignored, and her reasons for entering the profession. The oppressive mechanism of silencing target popula- tions is explored as it pertains to height discrimination, as well as the intersection of heightism and racial discrimina- tion towards Asian American.

I am Asian American. 1 am female. I stand narrative I will focus on the intersection four feet eight inches. The preceding three of heightism and as sentences are the main reasons why I am now an Asian American. a social work student. As a minority with these On September 17, 2004, during a social identities, I have been allowed the direct intervention class in my MSW privilege to experience discrimination first program, the professor made a hand. 1 use the word privilege and comment that reinforced heightism as a discrimination together because without my prevalent yet widely unrecognized fomi experiences of , I may not have of discrimination. In discussing the had the opportunity to develop the amount of composition of groups for the purposes compassion for underserved populations that of group therapy, she stated that there would eventually lead me to the social work were individual characteristics that did not profession. As an Asian American female of matter in the structural design of groups, such short stature, I have come to expect as height. She went on to state that it would discrimination on a variety of levels. I have not affect a group if you had three short people become accustomed to that are and one tall person, adding with a smile and propagated through media and reinforced by in ajoking tone ''unless it's a group of midgets; the dominant culture. But as a social work that would be different/" The comment took student, I always expected that the political me off guard, not because I had never heard awareness and cultural sensitivity that was so anything like that said, but because it was so emphasized by the profession would unexpected considering the context. somehow magically eliminate these Sitting in a social work classroom, a safe stereotypes from the classroom arena. What environment where there was always a I came to find was that although there was a conscious awareness of prejudiced views, it strong presence of cultural awareness at the further upset me that the use of the derogatory racial and gender levels, there was a huge comment "midget" was coming from a absence of sensitivity toward physical professor with a Ph.D. who had always difference, particularly in terms of height. emphasized and was very conscious Although 1 have experienced the effects of about multicultural issues. Although the gender oppression, for the purposes of this comment immediately sparked emotion in me.

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I did not speak up. I first looked around the assistant principal's comment not only room to see the reactions of other students. demonstrated a heightist viewpoint, but an Their lack of reaction temporarily immobilized ageist one as well. Although the assistant me from saying anything at the moment. I felt principal was later reprimanded for the that my feelings were unjustified because I discriminatoiy comment, it was reinforcement was the only one afïected by the comment. It that certain fomis of discrimination are more was a familiar and lonely feeling. I remember acceptable than others. If the assistant clearly feeling embarrassed to speak up, wW le principal had put, for example, ''Race and simultaneously feeling frustration knowing that gender make classroom management a I should. challenge," I am sure much harsher measures Where did this embarrassment come would have been taken against him. Although fiüm? Was I afiaid that my speaking up would I received support from co-workers who associate me with a dwarf? Did I hold the condemned the assistant principal's comment, same prejudicial views directed towards they identified it as an isolated incident dwarfs and people of short stature? Was 1 unrelated to a larger discriminatory system. afraid that my past experiences with the because they themselves had never trivialization ofheightism would resurface? I experienced heightism, they did not recognize was not able to deal with trivialization at that its prevalence, nor did they realize that the moment The lack of recognition ofheightism comment was a representation of a cultural as an active form of discrimination prevented value that associates height with competence. me at that moment from contesting the My feeling of loneliness after experiencing comment. Looking back, I know that if the this discrimination was compounded by the comment had been directed toward a racial fact that tliere was no shared "height culture'* identity group, I would have spoken up within my work environment. As an Asian immediately. Cultural acceptability had largely American in a predominantly Asian suburb, I aftected my to speak up against was part of a majority. As a woman, 1 felt the and discrimination. For the strong bonds of sisterhood among my friends, remainder of the firsthal f of class, I remained classmates, and co-workers. As a member silent, tuned out to what the professor was of both identity groups, there was a shared teaching, and immediately began to recall one culture, a sense of similarity, and a sense of of my most pivotal experiences with heighüsm safety in numbers. I knew that there were as a working professional. those who were continuing to fight for our A former high school Spanish teacher, 1 cause, continually bringing awareness to the vividly remembered the anxiety I experienced injustices of society. But as a short person, durir^ my firstyea r evaluatioa After an intense who was my spokesperson? I had no one hour-long observation by the assistant near me who could understand what I was principal of curriculum, I entered his office experiencing. Those to whom I mentioned my expecting to receive a balance of praise and feelings dismissed them as trivial, while others constructive criticism. Instead, I received a thought it cute and amusing. detailed evaluation summary in which only one lilis is when 1 soon became lamiliar with comment stood out: "Youth and size make what I later understood to be a hierarchy of classroom management a challenge." oppression. Whereas oppression is culturally Although I had felt that my job performance legitimized inequality as a result of was oftenjudged in relation to my height, this systematically enforced discrimination was the first example where that theory was practices through the use of social, political, clearly and straightforwardly supported. The or economic power, hierarchy is a system of

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Oppression between at least two strata: the that the idea of administering GH to a healthy privileged and the oppressed (McDonald & child is extremely controversial. It represents Coleman, 1999). Within a complex hierarchy, the dominant culture's view that short is not a multitude of social roles and identities exist okay. The strong reactions of both my mom that create varying degrees of socio-economic and my doctor reinforced that dominant inequality (McDonald & Coleman, 1999). As culture's perception of height. But at that a teacher in a multiethnic community, I found moment, I did not recognize that. I only a continuous emphasis on cultural sensitivity recognized their sad reactions and the as it applied to race and ethnicity. Our staff doctor's final comment, "I'm sorry. It's too focused a great deal on multicultural late." I was devastated because, to me, and awareness, yet we failed to address social apparently to the doctor, the GH was my only identities beyond race. As an ethnic minority, solution : a magic potion that would make me I would have felt justified in bringing forth any normal and acceptable. racial discrimination issues. Yet, as a short I now see the harm that the situation person, I did not feel the same, I felt not only caused. The doctor never told me I would be that racial discrimination took precedence fine the way 1 was. She immediately began to over other forms of discrimination, but that discuss medical solutions. The moment the non-racial discrimination was largely ignored. doctor told me I missed the opportunity to Although this experience was the catalyst that take the GH, I felt sad for a "missed led me to reexamine my professional role as opportunity." But now I know that it would an educator, as well as the reasons for entering not have helped. For one, I would always be the teaching profession, it also served to bring a short person culturally because I to the surface many of my past painful experienced first hand the ways in which moments with discriminatioa height differences can change people's I stopped growing by the 6"* grade. I treatment of others. Second, I would feel in a remember the day I found out that I would way that I was a "sell out'* for changing a part remain the height I was for the rest of my life. of me that I was bom with, similar to changing I went to the doctor with my mom for a routine my ethnicity. Third, if people were to make physical. After the nurse weighed and heightist comments to me, even if GH made measured me, we waited in the examining me taller, I would still be aflFected knowing room for the doctor. As the doctor entered, that that is who I am naturally. The issue then reviewing my charts, she specifically focused is not that I was short, but rather that I was on the growth history. As she looked up with seen as "different." a saddened expression, she staled that I had I eventually came to accept that I would probably stopped grov^ang. Partly because of no longer grow to be five feet two inches, the the doctor's grave look, and partly because I original height prediction of my pediatrician. I had already intemalized heightist ideologies, eventually graduated from elementary school I looked at my mom and began to cry. My and completed high school, luckily feeling mom became tearful too, not because she had minimal psychological effects of my short hoped for a tall daughter, but more because stature. Because I grew up in a predominantly she knew the pain I was feeling and anticipated Asian suburb, my high school friends did not the hardships I would face as an adult of four tower over me as I would later experience in feet eight inches. The doctor said that Growth other arenas of my life. My height at the time Hormone (GH) would no longer be an option was not a focus of much outside attention. I because I had already passed the time frame was able to maintain a feeling of nomialcy. in which it could be administered. I now know

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It was not until I entered college that I ofthe Asian American male. As began to really take notice of my height and an Asian American female, I would remember its psychological impact. Although there was feeling a lot of resentment towards my Asian a lot of diversity at the university, I was no female fiiends who claimed proudly, "I only longer an ethnic majority. Mixing with other date White men because Asian men are too ethnicities, height distinctions became more short." What creates this sense of aversion to apparent. I began to experience how my males of our own race? Is it because so many height would catalyze head-patfing and other of us buy into the media representations of condescending behavior. I consistently felt that the feminization of the Asian male? The I was not being taken seriously. Soon I began concept of orientalism creates a contrasting to feel like a young child in an adult world image ofthe Eastem and Westem worlds. where I constantly had to look up. Within the dominant Western culture, It was during college that I also began to Europeans and European Americans usually realize the subtleties ofheightism in everyday represent conquest, power, and masculinity, comments and the unintentional insensifivity while Asians, both male and female, represent that people had in regards to short stature. femininity and subservience. The feminization Now much more part ofthe dating and social ofthe Asian male is not a stereotype directed scene that came with being in my late teens, I solely toward Asian males, but Asian heard many of my friends comment on how American males as well (Parikh, 2002). It is they would not go out with a guy if he was another form of psychological colonizaüon "too short." When they would describe their that justifies and perpetuates the dominant ideal man, "tall" would always be a culture's value system. characteristic. One ofthe firstquestion s girls A hallmark of my college experience was would often ask about dating prospects was, tuming 21. It was the beginning of my "How tall is he?" The mainstream American experience with the club and bar scene. belief that attractive men are "tall, dark, and Although I felt excited about moving more handsome" is continually reinforced through into the "adult worid," it also created anxiety media representations and casual dialog. in terms of representing myself as an adult. Therefore, to be outside ofthat ideal has the For tlie first time, 1 felt that I was often looked potential to create a sense of inadequacy in at in a way that suggested, "Do you belong?" men who do not surpass the national average Walking into clubs or bars, there were height. Height standards for women were handiuls of incidents where men would look never expressed as being quite as cmcial as at me and smirk, sometimes gesturing to their for men, although in the fashion and friends how small I was. I remember a entertainment world there largely existed a laughing comment made to me by a club glamorizafion of tall women that linked height bouncer as he checked our I.D.s: "Where's with beauty. Regardless, I absorbed any the rest of you?" Feeling hurt and heightist remark as deeply personal. After all, embarrassed, I just laughed it off, knowing I came from a family of short stature, with a that to him height was probably not a big deal. father and a brother both under five feet four I do not know when the transition took inches. Comments directed toward short men place, but I eventually noticed that my self- as unappealing and inadequate were indirectly consciousness regarding my height guided aimed at my family members. -what I wore. Throughout high school and even Not only was I aware ofheightism as it through part of college, I felt freet o wear any affected males in the dating scene, but the ways type of shoe I wanted, regardless ofthe heel. in which it was linked strongly to the By my senior year in college, due to my

REFLECTIONS - FALL 2006 67 Looking Up growing awareness of heightism, I began Heightism as a Social Worker wearing only shoes that increased my height As a social work intem in my current by at least a few inches. The tallest pair of agency, I remember the first day that I met black boots that I had, which I still have and my fellow social work student intems. Before wear to this day, helped me feel more secure the end of the day, we were ail having a when entering new social arenas where I discussion about my height, something with would meet people for the first time. which I am familiar. After expressing shock I remember one situation where someone that I was 28 years old, they asked me how commented to me: "Wow, you're short," tall I was. Before I could tell them, one ofthe immediately followed by another person interns guessed as she laughed interjecting, "How sad, don't say that." At condescendingly, "Four feet five?" After their that moment I felt anger, created not by the fascinafion dwindled, the day continued as initial comment, but by the feeble attempt to normal. Inside, I felt increasingly silenced and somehow "protecf ' me from the reality of my misunderstood. stature. It was a judgment on what it meant Because the fax machine at my intemship to be short, that it was something shameful; is located above my sight range, I use a something that should not be discussed, Stepstool to see the numbers. One of the soniething taboo. What we associate with support staff members laughs hysterically "good" and "bad" are often cultural whenever she sees me on the stool. At one perceptions created by influences of the point, two of the support staff told me dominant culture, media, and established endearingly that I was the agency's "official norms. Because these dominant cultural child" because I was so small. At the time I perceptions are so skillfully perpetuated, we did not take offense because I knew they often accept our own position within created meant no harm, but I do feel sad that it is societal hierarchies as given truths. representative of how the larger society After graduating from college, I was places such an emphasis on height. It is a apprehensive about entering the real world. physical attribute or characteristic that can Increasingly, the more exposed I was to the easily and safely be made fun of without world outside of my home suburb, the more worrying about . like a child I felt. Ashort time after graduation, For a recent class assignment, I had an three friends and I celebrated with a week interview with the agency director, who is a long trip to Hawaii. On our flight there, we Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW). struck up a conversation with a flight attendant She explained to me how she arrived at the who talked to us about her job and suggested position she currently holds by telling me the that we consider a career with the airline. I story ofthe first job she tumed down. The was completely discouraged when I heard that program director who interviewed her was a one of the job requirements was height of at tall, mysterious lady whose office was like a least five feet two inches. I found it difficult to dungeon and who had a dwarf as an assistant. discover that, due to my short stature, there She later explained that the situation was too were certain professions that I would never "bizarre" for her. I wondered where the have the opportunity to experience. "bizarre" part came from. Had the program Regardless of the justifications for the height director not had a dwarf for an assistant, requirement, it reminded me that I was not would her room still be described as a part ofthe majority, further stripping me of dungeon? Or was the tall, mysterious lady tlie nomialcy. one who gave the bizarre impression? Maybe it was my heightened awareness of the

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Stereotypes of dwarfs that led me to believe The movie Twins, starring Danny DeVho that her reference to the scene's "bizane" and Arnold Schwarzenegger, tells the tale of quality was due to the dwarf Because I was fi^temal twin brothers separated at birth. For too embarrassed to ask, I will never know comedie purposes, the film relies on the polar the answer to those questions. But what I opposite qualities of the brothers. Arnold discovered was that my personal experience Schwarzenegger is portrayed as the "good" with heightism has created in me a sense of brother, possessing intelligence, strength, and heightened awareness and suspicion of any physical attractiveness. Danny De Vito, on the comments that may appear to attack the very other hand, is portrayed as incompetent, core of my sensitivity. weak, and physically undesirable. One of the main physical differentiations of the two is Heightism and the Media height, as Amold Schwarzenegger's character As the dominant view of normalcy is stands a foot taller than the character of Danny largely shaped by television, movie, print, and DeVito. radio representations, the media have In a Seinfeld episode, George Costanza, contributed to my negative self-perceptions the shortest of three main male characters, and experiences as a short woman. What I meets a woman whom he later begins to date. have seen in media is that height is connected As George had met this woman when he was with elite ranking, from entertainers to wearing a pair of shoes with a two-inch sole, politicians to royalty. There is a sense of the entire episode focuses on his efforts to competency and attractiveness that is continually wear those shoes at all future social associated with being tall, and a sense of occasions so as not to lose those extra inches. ineptness associated with being short. From He soon has to figure out a way to wear the television shows to commercials to movies, same shoes to a wedding to prevent his date people of short stature are often depicted as fi'om noticing the loss in height. The episode less sexy, less competent, less intelligent, and made light of the common pressure to live up more childlike. Characters of short stature to male height expectations. are usually used as comic relief. Usually the Although height is used often as a way to counterpart of a taller more handsomely create comedy in the entertainment industry, depicted main character, the shorter character heightism is also seen through news media. is the brunt of all jokes, often centering around The most recent example of this was seen in height the 2004 Presidential Debates. According to One of my favorite shows growing up was the many news programs, certain regulations The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Will Smith's were to be enforced before both candidates character. Will was the funny, charming, and would be willing to participate in the national most importantly, tall main character of this debates. One of the main criterian for the sitcom. His male counterpart, cousin Carlton, incumbent. President George W. Bush, was who was much shorter than Will, was that the televising of the debates would depict depicted as uptight, nerdy, and socially inept. both candidates as equal in height. This way, He served as the comic relief, often taunted no one candidate would appear taller than by Will over his short stature. He was always the other. President Bush felt that, due to John outwitted by the more clever Will and was Kerry's obvious height "advantage," the often seen storming away in frustration. debates would ultimately be unfair. Height as Supporting the dominant belief that short men a criterion for competence and power was are less appealing, he was usually rejected largely emphasized to the nation during the by women. debates.

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These types of media representations treated but also afraid to remember their own have had two effects on me. First, they have painful past. I only began to leam of the served as a constant reminder of the dominant intemment camps through my parents and perspective that tall is better. Second, they small sections of U.S. textbooks. I first sat have served as examples for the ways men down and talked with my grandparents about are discriminated against on the basis oflieight their experience in 8* grade for a school Therefore, in voicing my personal experiences report. I realize now that those were the only with heightism, individuals usually respond moments when they were able to articulate with, "I don't think height really matters for any feelings associated with the intemment. women. At least you're not a short man." Unless they were asked, they kept it to While 1 wanted to fight height discrimination themselves. And hardly anyone ever asked. toward both and women, I found it As I grew older, I became more interested in increasingly difficult to justify my own the experiences of my grandparents and other oppression in such a hierarchical context. Japanese Americans of tliat generation. As I began to ask more questions, not only to my Silence grandparents but to other Nisei, I began to In looking at the levels of discrimination 1 see similar pattems of responses. I began to faced having multiple identity roles, I began hear a familiar sense of sadness in their voices, to recognize an underlying theme: the role of though their words remained positive. They silence as an oppressive mechanism. As a always emphasized that they were loyal and fourth generation Japanese American, 1 proud American citizens despite what had possessed a good deal of guilt that came früm happened. I always felt that there was a knowing the sacrifices of my family, communal need to prove their loyalty more particularly the of all of my so than other citizens. In proving their loyalty, grandparents during World War II. A life- they remained silent, valiantly accepting their altering experience that would eventually last country's decision to ''protect" its citizens. for more than two years, my grandparents, Knowing that my grandparents had been along with other Japanese and Japanese American-bom citizens betrayed by the U.S. American citizens, mainly Nisei (second govemment contributed to my decreased generation Japanese Americans), were sense of entitlement as an American as well transported like cattle to the Santa Anita Race as to my enormous respect for their courage Track Stables where they awaited their final and strength. To lose their homes, belongings, transport to one often internment camp sites and lives as they once knew them, and to throughout the country. This dehumanizadon continue to work hard and provide for their took away any remaining voice that they family, was something that was difficult for possessed, being minorities in a time and me to conceptualize. How does one place when racial diversity was not embraced. overcome such an injustice in silence, the way As the granddaughter of intemees, I felt most ofthat generation had done? How does like I had more anger and resentment toward one not speak out after experiencing such the United States and its govemment than hostility? How does one maintain a consistent those who actually experienced the positive outlook? Now, as an Asian American internment. The internment was a piece of in an era of new perspectives, I look back at history that was hardly discussed openly by the racial discrimination they faced and findi t those who lived through it. Growing up, I felt difficult to understand how easily it was that the entire generation dealt with their accepted. But I now understand that I live in emotions in silence, ashamed ofliow they were different circumstances that allow me to have

70 REFLECTIONS - FALL 2006 Looking Up more voice as an Asian American than they eventually led me to minimize and silence my ever had. For one, I live in a much more feelings. Instead of recognizing that my culturally diverse population where racial feelings of oppression were valid, I only saw diversity is praised. For another, I live in a them as insignificant in comparison to the city where I am an ethnic majority. Lastly, experiences of my grandparents. What I was increased education of racial discrimination experiencing was a type of intemalized has set the path for access to multiple Asian oppression, a phenomenon in which members American activist organizafions that did not of oppressed groups support the hierarchical exist during the 1940s. structures that the dominant culture has Looking at the contrasting Asian established (McDonald & Coleman, 1999). American experiences of myself and my In some forms, intemalized oppression can grandparents, I now understand why their result in members of one oppressed group silence was so prevalent. As a person of short competing with members of other oppressed stature, I am not part of a majority. I am not groups to determine who is higher on the part of a height-focused group culture. Not hierarchy of oppression (McDonald & only do I feel isolated as a short person, but I Coleman, 1999). also feel the lack of pride that I associate v^th being an Asian American that only recently My Search for a Shared Culture emerged with increased education and The silence that I experienced was due in advocacy on the part of activist groups. Due large part to dominant cultural views, but also to the limited amount of education on created from a lack of shared culture. Just as heightism, I do not have access to resources I felt isolated during my first-year teaching that address my needs. How can I speak out experience, I felt a subtle isolation in terms of against the discrimination I experience as a physical difference throughout most of my life person of short stature when it is not largely that intensified in college and continues today. recognized as a form of discrimination? My need to integrate into a height-centered Just as my grandparents had silently culture led me to my first encounter with an accepted racial discrimination, I too find organization called the Little People of myself accepting heightism in silence. Part of America (LPA). Although I had heard of the this silence comes from my own shame and organization, I had never thought to attend a hesitance to acknowledge my difference. meeting. Firstly, it seemed inaccessible since Often referred to as psychological I did not know anyone personally involved in colonization, this phenomenon socializes the organization. Secondly, most of what I individuals to internalize their oppression and had known about LPA revolved around issues conspire with the dominant culture's ideology of dwarfism and dwarf culture, issues that I had little knowledge about. Besides having and social system (Adams, Bell, & Griffm, little knowledge of dwarf culture, I was also 1997). Just as my grandparents have fearilil of the stigma attached to being labeled experienced psychological colonization as a "little person" as I was as much affected by Asian Americans, I too have experienced it the dominant culture's negative view of dvwarfs as a person of short stature. as the majority of the population. Further intemalizing my oppression were my feelings of guilt. My family's hardships and The day I decided to attend an LPA triumphs made it difficult to think that my own meeting was the day I met Diane. A friend of problems were of any huge significance. a friend,Dian e was a little person. After casual Comparing my personal experience of conversation, she suggested to me that I attend oppression to the experiences of others had an LPA meeting. She informed me that LPA

REFLECTIONS - FALL 2006 71 Looking Up was not restricted to dwarfs and that the only was not "them." As I stood taller than all the requirement was height under five feet. other members, I felt a sense of superiority Within a few months I attended my first that completely supported tlie socio-political meeting. Apprehensive and vulnerable, I went heightist hegemony. Once I recognized this with my friendVa l for support. Not knowing feeling of superiority, I immediately felt like a what to expect (but remaining somewhat hypocrite. This served to only further hopeful that I would see a few people like complicate my attempt to attack and address me), I pulled into the parking lot. The first heightism as a valid source of discrimination. man I saw was a dwarf. Before long, I entered How could I fightheightis m when I, too, was the meeting hall and realized that I was the a perpetuator of its ideology? Only now do I only non-dwarf present. I leamed later that realize the extent to which psychological there are approximately 200 types of colonization and intemaliz^d oppression can dwarfism, the most common being disempower and create self-doubt At the time achondroplasia, which is "characterized by my shameful thoughts emerged, I felt that I an average-size tmnk, short arms and legs, lost any type of credibility to be a and a slightly enlarged head and prominent spokesperson for the heightist cause. Looking forehead" (LPA, 2005). The majority ofthe back, I now realize that the intemalized members at this meeting were achondroplastic oppression operating within me created such dwarfs. As I scanned the room for any eye insecurity so as to use the very same contact to initiate conversation, I became oppressive ideology to give me comfort and increasingly disappointed that, as a new reassurance. By allowing myself to feel more member, I was not welcomed as warmly as I "normal" than the other members, I had anticipated. That egocentric viewpoint demonstrated the impact of our dominant was soon replaced by the acknowledgement cultural values and how it defines normalcy. ofthe vast amount of discrimination they face on a daily basis. Whereas I experience Reasons for Entering the Social Work heightism in subtle forms, they experience it Field blatantly every day. Just as I was curious The primary mission ofthe social work about them, they too were curious about me. profession is to enhance human well-being and Eventually, I was able to meet and talk with help meet the basic human needs of all people, some people. Although I felt some with particular attention to the needs and commonalities with the other members, I empowerment of people who are vulnerable, definitely felt I did not belong. I felt that they oppressed, and living in poverty. A historic belonged to a culture that I did not share and and defining feature of social work is the that they experienced discrimination far more profession's focus on individual well-being in intense than the subtle height discrimination I a social context and the well-being of society. faced. Fundamental to social work is attention to the After the meeting on our way home. Val environmental forces that create, contribute infomied me that one ofthe members asked to, and address problems in living. Social her what "type" I was. At that moment, I felt workers are sensitive to cultural and ethnic a sense of panic run through my body. The diversity and strive to end discrimination, reason I felt awkward at the meeting was oppression, poverty, and other forms of social because I did not identify with the dwarf injustice. (NASW, 2005) culture. I had made a mental distinction My constant and continual experience separating 'them" from"me, " and although I with heightism, along with a lack of universal felt out of place, I was secretly grateful that I acknowledgement of its existence, had led me

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Looking Up to feel silenced and powerless. Just as my Looking back now, I realize that the grandparents had experienced a lack of voice expectations I had of my professor were and power, I too had experienced my own unrealistic, as we are so affected by the oppression as a person of short stature. dominant cultural perspective and norms. If During my first year teaching, the we do not experience first hand, or we are discriminatoiy comment made by the assistant not taught about specific forms of principal and the experience surrounding it discrimination, how are we to understand that opened my eyes to the fact that I truly felt they exist? And even when we experience silenced. I needed to regain my voice. But discrimination first hand, we often perpetuate how was I to do that? One of my realizations the oppressive dominant ideology in the form occurred after attending LPA. During that first of , just as I had done meeting, 1 began to recognize that heightism during my first LPA meeting. I understand that had varying levels of oppression, most of which this rationalization acts as a double-edged had been continually ignored by the majority sword, for it allows me forgiveness of ofthe population. Until then, I had never seen hypocrisy of succumbing to the veiy dominant first-hand such extreme levels of views I criticize, while simultaneously marginalization. I began to feel angry with reinforcing my own silence by justifying the social injustice that had continued to go individual comments as part of a larger cultural unaddressed. I eventually decided that I could problem. But as members of an oppressed use my passion for change to build and group, we must create our ovm personal ways strengthen my voice, while helping others in of overcoming barriers and dealing with the process. I understood oppression and challenges within the oppressive context For discrimination and began to develop a strong me, I will use this double-edged sword with desire to help others who were oppressed caution, knowing that it may facilitate a loss and lacked voice. I decided that furthering in voice only if I allow it. But due to its my education in a field that emphasized existence, I must work harder at raising diversity would be the beginning of my path awareness on a larger scale rather than silently to acquire a voice that had never been given accepting heightist comments as belonging a fair chance to develop. strictly to the individual who made them. I know that I must not allow heightist comments Conclusion to diminish my voice, but rather to act as a At the beginning of break, I approached catalyst to develop a stronger one, one, where the professor. By this time, after much I can speak on behalf of others who face the reflection, the emotions had begun to appear same type of discrimination. I can use my at the surface. Tearful, frustrated, and experiences to accomplish what I initially misunderstood, while at the same time fearing entered the social work field to do: educate that my feelings would be dismissed as trivial, and advocate. I informed her ofhow the comment made earlier had affected me and how the use of References "midget" was derogatory. The professor •Adams, M., Bell, L., & Griffin, R (Eds.). looked me in the eyes and said, "I'm so (1997). Teaching for Diversity and Social sorry." I was relieved that my emotions were Justice. New York: Routledge. not merely dismissed but still frustratedan d disappointed that these prejudiced views were present, not only in society in general, but especially in the social work field.

REFLECTIONS - FALL 2006 73 Looking Up

• Little People of America (2005). History of LPA. Retrieved Februaiy 1,2005, fromhttp: / /www. lpaonline.org.

• McDonald, P., & Coleman, M. (1999). Deconstructing hierarchies of oppression. Social Work Education, 18(1), 19-33.

• National Association of Social Workers (2005). NASW Code of Ethics. Ret. March 8,2005, fi-omhttp://www.socialworkers.org / pubs/code/default.asp.

• Parikh, C. (2002). The most outrageous masquerade: Queering Asian-American masculinity. Modern Fiction Studies. 48(4), 858-898.

Lora Nakamura is an MSW at the California State University, Long Beach, School of Social Work. Comments regarding this article can be sent to: [email protected].

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