Indrea St Perz0a Etow Into the Sea
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- hao Jad 1y e pact of tCe old age crpples f SrU what is to Coue walnin9 p333 The Bath 331 Sddtan, pain halfuy ol on Ipmelines 5, bat V SihYlo hgt naFue. then with her nightclothes on a of inside the coal oven GRAe dherself: warming page newspaper FoCo dand her across the chair to be on the instant agin naure unfoqMng dressing-gown put she,stePPELAror the r bath, she undressed and pausing first to get her breath and clinging tightly to the slippery Inovtabjluhy yetiowstamed ripi that now seemed more like the edge of a cliff with a deep drop Vs 3rd pedon indreA st perz0A etow into the sea. slowly and painfily.she elimbed into the bath. > Paraa 3 ej6u0ble CoTtufPle-put on my nightie the instant I gét out.she thoughtThe instant she got outut C o eing kiluc indeeiShe knew it woul beP9S. than a matter of instants yet she tried to think of it araid Epeienct univesa Erehig n 3Xdbjel mly, w+Thoutdread eling herself that when the time came she would be very old laoy gaureyp esnt SHheyne o deat ccareful, step by step. her oorvnY taking the process surprising bad back and shoulderand The Bath powerless wrists intoRErtoning feats they mightusuallyrebelagihat, bür the key to anonyuySug9 lOS er (1983) controlling them would he thesuwprisel the soy _tealing up on them. With care, with iSolahoM VulneUbl, no na thought Dgr Janet Frame Sitting upright, not daring ea hack orie down, she soaped herself, ore mundaey N zealOn washing away hody the dirt of the past fortnight, seeing with satisfaction how it drifted escapnemou about on the_water sga sE as a sign that she was clean again. Then when her washing was completed she found a eauwha h cut flowers- daffodils, a few herself looking for excuses not to try yet to climb out. Those old woman's finger nails. On Friday afternoon she(bough) anemones, twigs of a of red-leaved shrub, wrapped in mauve waxed paper, for Saturday was the seventeenth siw ce cracked and dry, where germs could lodge, would need to be scrubbed again: the skin membr anniversary of her husband's death and shepanned to visit his grave as she did each (rin of her heels. too. growing so hard that her feet might have been turning to stone: behind disge Smaher ears where a thread of dirt lay in the rim: after all, she did not often havethe luxury year, to weed it and put fresh flowers in the O jam jars standing one on each side of oR tsis the tombstone. Her visit this year occupied her thoúghts more than usugl,She had1 h Sca of a bath. did she? How warm i yas She drowsed a moment. If only she could fall bougnt the tlowers t9 force herself to make the journey that(each vear became 0 dRArS asleep then wake to(find hersel) ih her nightdress in(bed o he night! Slowly she beat rie hazardous,) from the walk to the bus stop, the change of buses at the Octagon. to the rewashed her body, and whenshe knew she could no longerdeceiveherselfintoused oe she was not clean she biterness of the winds blowing from the open sea across almost unsheltered rows of thinking relutantly replaced the soap, brush and flannel in the7n conrol tombstones; and the at the side of the bath, as she tiredness that overcame her when twaS time to return home nee groove feeling loosened her grip on them that al strength she longed to find a place beside the gravesin, the soft grass, and fall asleep.us lor19 and support were ebbing from her. Quickly she seized the nai-IHs agaybut its magic That evening she filled the coal buckeStoked the lire Her had been used and was gone; it would not adopt the róle she tried to urge upon it. The and arduous. her movementsere sOW e back - and shbulder gave her so much ea soapvere to to being borne to and - pain.She eeKeaner c n flannel to,and the frailflotsan) cling in the hope of bacon set her knife and fork op theteatowe] she used ds safety. a 2 9debris3t eperilods the volume of the atablecloth urned uP,cop She was polished red radio to listen to and ale alone/now. For a few moments she sat swilling.he, water against her skin tea, washed her theWeather(Report the(Ngws, e her dishes, then sat drows1ng in the waiting as a of out the plug2anap hara waler rocking chair by the fire. swmpo perhaps meahs buoying p her courage Then' feaólutely she pthed or the to get hot enough for a, to the and to satteeling the tide swirl and serape at erskip gnd lesh, trying to draw herdown. to bath.Visits cemetery, the doctof. 2r relatives, stày. into the earth; then the was in a and always demanded a bath,, When she was Ie dowp bathwater gone soaPY gurgle she was naked Chougn (and sure that theW o and and had not her_lea had been_digeated) kitchen the shivering yet made the attempt to to ahe venturedTrom-the through cOld getput of he Datandty- xposee passageway the colder bathroom. She How slippery the surface had become! clean it with of the air then (paused)in the doorway to get In futuré Sheguld.not she walked used ne c kerosene, she use slowly, each the would the paste cleaner that, left pn bath, and feeling with step painnber bat aCto overhight. gave the enamel rough the though she knew that she was patches that could be gripped with the skin. gradually in her HiaP dio to wrench on losing the power CLoesn rwp managed the stiff nad She leaned forward, shoulder. She the rim of How coldand hot taps bath feeling the pain in her back and grasped water. wasteful. and half-filthe w w the bath but her nage sbe thought.that With the fingersslitheredfromit almóst at one. She would not panic, she told month of frost, and kítchen fire always burning deaH2 past the water almost durinE herself: get out. always hot, getting in and out of a batn she would try gradually, carefully to Agan sheaned tervard again her re wceX2ieDecome such an_effort that it was not possible to bath every night nor even everya grip lookened as if iron handa had delibetidly uneurled hefetened blucinger ronf thei tia 9h wula Love ro but she'is trembling hold. (Her heart began to beat faster, her breath came Hore quickly, her mouthE PAnic She fouhda big towel, laid it forced (luae) s was ready over a Jho dry She moistened her lips.EIsbout for she thought, chair, arranged the chair so 1ould help, no one will hear me. No SurnoaHmp Sheordountssy ais9 she uta the world will hear t 4had last ume bathed she would have rescu Jenknco one in me No one)will knowT m in the some way of Aqa Speee bath andcan get Out loone,i~dallo"firsers utle an nesPAL 9ehhance rhe, Su930shhonpanc and oer d al3 PusSm disranha distance ,mm al9 losin, erh aothe 332 Stories of Ourselves easy The Bath no cold water of the wash- She could hear the drip-drip of the tap now over her arms and foree She listened. only guardiad legs. them to do as she how heart, as if it were under had wantedlyhen basin, and a corresponding whisperand gurgle ot her beating Fasily and dutifully they walked, moved and water. All else was(silenty Whëre were the people. the traffic? Then she had a strange grasped.(n the old days.Theywere the E It had been her that enemy now. body showedtreachery whep sht ried to get out of a over the evol. she ever wanted to bath If - feeling of being under the earth. of throbbing in her head like wheels going Cugainst the bath. again how strange if Seeméd! she would have earth above her. Lotsosilance lcungugt of SiPpinaAa hu to human being to her to and Keuria own ask another help guard control her own body. Was this so stemlyhat shuhave fno nonsenseJtb3EadJsly.otsCg fearful) she wondered. Even if it were not. it seemd so. rmenbal he she told herself chair dnd StTegH tried to get out of the bath. She had forgottenthe strong solid the(gr She aceasing She thought of the frost slowlythardening putside on the fences. roófs. windows and couldget on it. If she made the efont quicky she cnuld first take hold of both sides oe. doubrsrets. She thought again of the terro bletoescape from the bath She a etha wNenkSS the then transfer her hold to the chair and thus pull herself out. bocu bath. pull herself up. (Qck remembered her dead husband and the fowers he had bought to put en his grave She tried to do this; she just failed to make now. gasping for Then thinking again of the a nos,brcath,ire she sank back into the bath. She began o thecal, finaloyt effort.but as shePale had predictedherensscale Cono trosyts whiters.hite Tike a new batly anemones darbat>' the of John she 'in and daffodils and twigsof the red-leayedhrub, dead seventeen years, Aure was no answer. No one had heard her/io one 'the houses gthe syeetor Dundiineleh. fell asleep while outside. within two hours the frost began to melt with the warmth of ope Sympaor the world knew that she wasmpusongdonelinessveledn h Johnwerearphasi so a sudden wind blowing from the north, and the night grew warm, like Springyight, and da here, she thought, if we were shafing our old age, helping each othergh ould nevernun in the morning the light came early.