1 2 F EB 1999 Leeds Student February 12, 1999 www.leedsdotstudent.co.uk Volume 29: Issue No.15

SUICIDE WHEEL YOU RIDE WITH ME? AFTER LOVERS SPLIT Forbidden marriage blamed for death A DESPERATE student took By KEVIN PETJMAN of Me same religion," he said. her life after being told she He told Rakhi that the could never marry her lover together. relationship was over at the scan because of her religion. Lmis con iner Da-id Hinctdiff of the term but the couple LMU second year Rakhi recorded a verdict of death by continued to share a bedroom. Kagdadia was found hanging misadventure. However he was He explained to the court that by a silk scarf by her boyfriend not convinced that Rakhi had she had threatened to kill herself in the couple's bedroom on intended kill herself. Harmsnet. with a kitchen knife before. Monday night. a former LMU student. appeared following an argument, The I9-year-old Hindu had at the inquest on Wednesday. An LMU spokesperson said: wanted to marry her Sikh partner -I did not see her as a long- -Students and staff are extremely Harmmet Sembi, but was time partner. My parents made upset over this. The university devastated when he told her it obvious to me that any bride is providing counselling for I might take would have to be those who would like it.' they would have no future ALL THE FUN OF PIE FAIR • JUICE PAGE FIVE

`MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE I'M A LAHNDANAANK. THAT I LIKE LEEDS?!' FIND OUT MORE ON PAGE FIVE

UNIVERSITY LIBRARY LEEDS Ir;

NEWS Leeds Student, Friday February 12 1999 Trapped at gunpoint in little shop of horror

A COURAGEOUS shop fly EVE McGOWAN assistant feared for her life BLOWOUT FOR ANNUAL UNION MEETING during an armed raid at an to know NA hat the: meie doing. off-licence this week. T he) were very hesitant, and Juliet Jones w as working similar props were used in each alone at Thresher's off-licence case - the gun and a white plastic in Utley when the robbery hag handed over the counter." occurred at 7.30pm on Tuesday "It is a rare occurrence to night. have two such incidents on the The tern tied second year was same day. particularly in Orley. WE'VE GOT THAT LOVIN' FEELING: It's official - Yorkshire confronted by a masked youth This is a close-knit community tads and lasses are the readiest in the land armed with a black semi- where strangers stand out. Otf- automatic handgun who ordered licences are seen as an easy her to hand over the cash in touch, it tends to he young, part- the till. time staff who work in them." But the LAW student kept DS Kent also praised Juliet Tyking all the fun a level head and remembered for keeping a level head during her company training for such the raid. "Her actions were situations. obeying the robber's absolutely correct. At the end instructions, of the day it's only money. It's "At first I was in complete. not worth calling their bluff. for ourselves shock," she admitted. -Then as You never know if the gun is he came closer I thought of what loaded or it that person is I'd been taught. It all happened prepared to use their weapon." YORKSHIRE folk are the By A STAFF REPORTER very quickly, in about two or But Juliet is determined not randiest in Britain three minutes. to let the robbery ruin her life according to a new survey for the investigation which "But that moment when I first and returned to work the commissioned by condom shahs further light on the sexual looked hint in the eyes felt like follow ing evening. manufacturers Durex. habits of a nation traditionally a life time. It all feels unreal "It was a conscious decision," The sex survey reveals that thought of as reserved when now, like a nightmare." explained the undaunted nutrition Tykes make love an average it comes to 'getting in the sack.' Once the robber retreated the student. "If I didn't go hack to of 92 times a year. a tally that Over half of those quick thinking student pressed work straight away I never would_ ranks way above the national questioned admitted they were the panic button and dialled 999. I'd end up dwelling On it. I'm average of 81. more than willing to make love Poke investigating the crime hack at work as usual. serving Other regions whose in a variety of places. including fear the rubber may be part of normal customers. performance stood up to the in a car, the bath or shower. a two-man gang operating in the "I feel hesitant about working challenge included Scotland, on a beach or even in the Leeds area after a similar raid on my own now though. and l'm and the North West. both of woods_ occurred at ;mother off-licence much more aware of customers which boasted scores in the Also highlighted was the in Horsforth later on the same coming in the shop.- nineties. conclusion that men tend to Right. The armed robber is described The report also highlights take more risks when they. are Acting officer DS Kent from as white. in his late teens or early the fact that men had slept with drunk. 22 per cent blamed the Weetwood CID said there were twenties and thinly built. He an average of I I partners. booze for their failure to use several similarities between the was wearing a black balaclava YOUR NUMBER'S UP: The Annual General Meeting at LUU was against a smaller total of six a condom at any time in the two cases: and dark green fleece tucker cancelled yesterday after it failed to reach the required 500 for their female counterparts. last year. six per cent higher "We think the men took it in Anyone with information should quoracy level, Communications Officer Anna Richards than the equivalent figure turns. Both were caught on contact the police on 241 3485 Over 8,0111) people were admitted: "Obviously, it's disappointing and we don't plan to interviewed to intimate detail l'orwomen. security videos. Neither seemed or 241 3459. reconvene it for a later date." Pic: Dan Manton

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Leeds Student, Friday February 12 1999 NEWS 3

Gnoming me, AII's fair in Gnoming you By CATHERINE BURT GNOMES have been stalking students around Leeds University campus in a bid to raise money during Rag week. Complete with fishing axis and lour: white beards, the mimes were hired to stalk students in lecture theatres and through the library. One gnome commented: it's been great - we've even been stalking rnimibers of the Union exmitiveWe also followed one guy who didn't notice us at all. It took him ovcrhalf an how-to realise ,which ove and war is unbelievable." Other activities which took place included drink-a-pub-dry. where hundreds of students atunripted to empty a pub of all its alcohol in one day. A vodka jelly suck. trolley racing :maid campus and rose- a-grams to add a Valentines theme. are also On the cards. Three way battle ends in puke-a-rama Rag Coordinator Dan Pullinger said: "Rag week is typically a liindraising work. but it is also a publicity drive, Rag ftmetions all year round and we want more people to take advantage of it." THE VALENTINE'S Fair got its first By NEIL OAKLEY A War of the Roses street collection will alsci be taking place taste of action on Friday as students tomorrow in aid of Help The Aged as a finale to the week. This raced around the rides in aid of The The Cily Council decided to donate the will be a competition between Rags m the north who will health:ding Children's Heart Surgery Fund. money raised from the event to the Children's in cities across Yorkshire and Lancashire. The e eat, which consisted of learns from Heart Surgery Fund to tie in with Valentine's Leeds University. LM U. and Tn nits and All weekend. Pie: Mike Curd Saints College, raised over 1:306 for the Martin Driver of the City Council's Leisure charity. Department commented: -It was a great Teams of eight ran from ride to ride in success and we now hope to make this an the quickest possible time whilst filling their annual event. The students had a good time stomachs with fine funfair cuisine including and it wiz good of them to support the event.- burgers. hot dogs and the ubiquitous candy The team from Leeds University came floss. first and won the honour of having their In the end, it was the group from Leeds name associated with a £150 donation made University who battled hard and managed to the charity. to complete the gruelling marathon in the But not before several participants had quickest time and scoop the coveted first felt the need to bring up what they had eaten place. - on each other! Jan Bartlett. Vice President John Chadwick of Trinity and All Saints Communications at LMUSU helped organise College said: "Everyone was enjoying the event with assistance from Leeds City themselves until they started throwing up Council. She said: "Everyone who took part on each other. Then the fun stopped when did really well. everyone realised how ill they all felt and 'They bolded it out until the bitter end began to look a hit green. and the best team won. But our team was "But well he hack next year and I'm sure • 'Iv ‘111.11 the only one not to he sick!" we'll do better than second place." NEWS Leeds Student, Friday February 12 1999 Robots' show for kids

MECHANICAL mayhem f_l_t ZOE GOLDMAN crash lauded at LIML1 last week & SUIANNAN BAILEY at a special demonstration for schools. partnership in order to emulate the Organised by the university's profile of the manufacturing and Faculty of Information and engineering sector for young people. Engineering Systems. the two Rodney Marsh. Head of LMLI's hundred children. from the South School of Engineering said: The and East Leeds Families of Schools. aim of the seminar is to introduce were introduce to such delights as students to the inanufacruring virtual factories and unimatronic profession. and to promote the characters. opportunities within this career. Peter Bond from Denford Pie "We also want to introduce had been invited to give a seminar schtiolchi Wren to manta actun rig at and presentation on the work of the an early age." robot' The interactive seminar included The inivativu forms part of a traditional and virtual world robotics. series coordinated by the plus a special performance front Manufacturing Awareness dancing robots. MOVE OVER PAXMAN

I't IE FRUSTRATION of waiting for SLIZANNAN BAILEY exam results has been heightened after Leeds University's School of English tOr different marking strategies. les not this week told students that results naxissarily leasihk: to have a universsl deadline." would nut be published until the But students in the School of English were beginning of next term. told this week their results would be available This has angered many who are annoyed on April 19. Sue Baker. SertiorAdministrative at having to wait for their results. Officer for the department said 'There are Several students have complained about about 3.700 scripts in mark from January deparunents giving out some results over the exams. At Levels 2 and 3 papers are blind phone whilst telling other, to wait until they double-marked, and some are sent away to are officially released. he moderated_ IT'S OUR TURN TO '. Many students feel uneasy about not We would urge students to vainsider the knowing their marks. repeatedly visiting their time taken to mark each paper Other faculties dmartmait a i try and find out more information. may have shorter papers due to the type of ASK THE QUESTIONS (Inc finalist said: "lt's so unfair. If they get exam. There are actually some advantagesta fed up giving out individual results they not giving results back immediately. I see shouldn't prioritise a minority who happen many students who wish they had not received to ask first." them before they sat their Semester 2 exam' HUSTINGS AT LMUSU CITY BAR A Biology finalist received her results by But in the School of Classics. students had phoning in the hope they were available. "I most results back after just one week. Staff FRIDAY 19TH FEB, 1121.1 was told they wouldn't officially be out member, Kann I ioukm, said "It's departmental until nest week, but then managed to get my policy to give a-sults tack its papers are marked results as well as a friend's. We gave markers a deadline and the only "I've spent so much utile chasing an Kind remaining results to conic back are papers Your Chance To Confront The People for them. Perhaps 1 he universit) should which had to he sent oVerSeaS for marking' have a set date for all departments to release Representatives from several denaltmolts their results." have suggested possible solutions in the Who Will Represent You! Psyeliology gudems can expect their Marks problem of waiting for results. by February 22. Lesley Maiorrigan. the Suggestions include an exttn week below Cheer Them On, Laugh Them Off, department's administrator said: "We allow term starts to mark papers. Also not including enough time for minting, runtiness' meetings, assessed essay deadlines in the exam penod and the thorough checking of papers_ You to mince nuking and universal restalrs dead= Do What You Want! Just Be There have to allow for flexibility between deram nags tbr all departments. $$$ I 1.71,-■■• ...... • • ...... • • ...... ...... • • ...... Leeds Student, Friday February 12 1999 NEWS 5 CLUBS CELEBRATE AS LEEDS MIXES WITH THE BEST IN NIGHTLIFE BATTLE Clubbers' new trips

are a capital idea

LONDON partygoers are By ANGUS MONTGOMERY shunning the bright lights of the capital in favour of on Friday night Ns ;is said by the thriving nightlife on Mixmag to be one of Leeds' best offer in Leeds. club nights. As well as being the club Brett agreed: -We offer capital of the north, cm price friendly service, one of the hest rail fares are helping to persuade sound systems in the country southern Clubbers to journey and consistently brilliant line- to Yorkshire. ups." Great North Eastern Railways' Club Uropa promoter Rob special 'night out' ticket enables ("Offen said the reason that people hordes of Londoners In hoard were willing to take the two hour trains at Kings Cross for the 189 trip to Leeds to go clubbing was mile trip to Leeds. simple. A saser return to Leeds would "We do it-.so well! With all normally oast 01,50 but afters the clubs competing in Leeds. can now do the round trip for a the only benefactor as the bargain price of 1:15. customer" he said. Since the scheme began last Rob also claimed that Leeds June over 3,000 people have was better because the clabbers taken up the Option of the late all got on well with each other night offer and are out for a good night. Leeds nightclub promoters Bernard Atha. Chairman of are pleased at this new trend. Leeds cultural services Brett Thompson. manager of committee. was equally quick Club NATO. said it is easy to to praise the nightlife of Leeds: see why Leeds is so attractive "There is a very relaxed to the southern crowds: "Leeds atmosphere and not the stress clubs are a lot more amicable you find in the more bandit- than those in London, the clientele ridden parts of the country," are up for a good night_" Dave Mallender. spokesman He compared this to London's fur GNER. explained how the clubs which he claims are much ticket scheme was proving to he more pretentious. "Clubbing in a great success. London is much more about "It is extremely popular, we going out to be seen in a particular never have any trouble on the place." way home - most of them just NATO's 'Up your Ronson' go to sleep." TRIPPING THE TYKE FANTASTIC: Cockney dubbers certainly like the music in Leeds' dubs Met-ter than the rest

"THE ENTERTAINMENT By KEVIN PE1TMAN to their professional experience. industry has recognised "I would say that the venue the achievements of It means that we canbopetully has managed to improve its I.VRISI! by voting it the do even more now and broaden facilities considerably and our market even further. It's a best student venue of 1999. its reeent track record big prestige thing that helps for itself." LIVE! magartoc.staed its us compete on a national level ." He went on prestigious national Recent gigs that helped how this show entritamment awards in London persuade the industry to send generaLas a t i this week. And LMUSLT were the award Yorkshire hound city in the on hand to scoop prize for top include Republica. Mark and MethIpOliGKI the firm lime. Lard, Diviac Comedy and is an exciting thing and confirms The award was voted for Faithless. the city's Status as a major by the professional industry LMUSU also promote a lot eri and Leeds heat off fierce of their events themselves competition from the Cinivetsity which not many other student for t of North London and previous venues manage to do. mean a kit to the people up winners, the University of East Mike Lethhy of LIVE! there." Anglia. maga/ine explained how the Darren Green added: "I Events Coordinator Darren pride is awarded. "We send out believe what helped us to win Green explained the reflection soting (milts to 10.000 people was that we act like a this places on the hard work across the industry who decide professional company outside of the venue. "We are delighted. on the nominees according of the university.- •••71..*Itvem

NEWS Leeds Student, Friday February 12 1999 A forty winks an hour limit

EVER wanted to grab a nap A STAFF REPORTER he des ICC. ss ouch the team are at the wheel or drive a cur developing fur car firm Rover, will with gears that take control use sensors on the wheels. exhaustive efforts to design a car suspension and breaks to monitor of themselves? for the 21st cc ntury. variables such as suspension and Your dreams might just come Dr Plummer stated: "Thc next road condition which will then true. after winning boffins scooped two decades will see a significant he fed to a central computer. a t:500.000 grant to help devehip di/Terence in the way we drive and This will then automatically a car that will he able to drive itself, think about driving our cars_ apply the car's brakes or steer The team from the Department "Motorway convoys of cars all the wheels in order to cope with of Mechanical Engineering at Leeds controlled electronically to travel the adverse conditions. University have been gearing up nose to tail at the same speed may Dr Manning explained: "It all for the new challenge after being sound far fetched. but it's inevitable. happens so quickly that the driver given the money to help develop It has to happen otherwise the wails probably won't even notice the the intelligent motion control will just he permanently snarled problem harme the system corrects technology that could soon Llp." it. revolutionise car travel. But hot rods beware. as the new Dr Andrew Plummer and Dr "For example. driving in windy technology could be used to make Warren ?vtarming's work has been conditions would he completely it impossible to skid or to speed. smooth and far safer as the steering fuelled by news of the grant and though it is initially being designed will help them maintain their would he constantly adjusted to as a driver assistance tool present the car being blown about." WHAT IT OILS DOWN TO Dr Warren Manning gots his hands dirty Bosses Monthly Disposable Contact lenses warn of

There are cheaper ways to get Contacts, hackers' but we don't recommend them. horseplay & ' 1 - .. long sentence. Just got out on ciood behaviour. Seeks getaway driver, with own car. COMPUTER chiefs are warning users By Mfg GENEVER Box No. T999 to he on the lookout for dangerous 'trojan' programmes which may be Although there is no real way to ship the Desperate /1: overweight circulating through Leeds University's memages from being Win they are still thought man, late 60's, Likes drinking, smoking- & net work. to he a relatively minor problem within the This comes after a member of staff at university. gambling. Enjoys eating in ALOT Seeks the University Computing Service received The UCS scan the network every night to anybody. anybody at all! an e-mail which claimed to contain a cheek for computer v iruscs and isolate and programme that would lix a security hole erase any foreign or suspicious prognunmes Box No. LOS311 in the Internet Explorer programme. that they find. Fish Lover But the e-mail. which purports to come Many students are worried about the from Microsoft. could damage computers security issues posed by the trojan horses. late 40's likes all kinds of fish. Has slight if the attached programme is loaded. First year English student Mark Timmons hygiene problem. Seeks person with no Nigel Bruce from UCS wanted: "Students said: "I don't really know much about these need to be cautious as they eould cause damage programmes but it all sounds a hit eerie to sense of smell. to their PC if they chorea, open the document. me. Box f4ni POP "Companies such as Microsoft never send "What's to stop people sending these c- unsolicited e-mails so anyone who receives mails to people who don't know much about these should contact us heft ire loading up the computers and fool them Into deleting all prognutunc." their riles?" Unlike computer viruses. trojan horses And second year biology student Louise contain a damaging document that is only Wilson stormed: "The people that make these activated once individual users load it up. programmes really drive me mad. Arc they A programme with an innocent sounding that sad Mai the have to to and rum other (II II I if I I T name can be used to delete all the files on a people's w ark because they haven't any computer or gain access to an indiv idual's friends in their ow personal information. But for now students arc being advised ISION But rather than having any %mane purpw. to he vigilant in case any further *arts are they are often designed by hackers who arc sent in the network. Nigel Bruce added; "Vie oeTICIANs merely attempting to display their computing get a lot of very useful work coming in prowess. from c•mails so we can't just stop people Lower Ground Floor, Union Buildings, Leeds University 1.S1 1UH Tel 0113 242 4684 !Nigel Bruce added: "These programmes from reading them. However. students should are motivated by trudicc - they're just written take care not to load a prognunme that mild by people who are trying to show off." damage their computer." Leeds Student, Friday February 12 1999 NEWS 7 Prize tigers Groovy grannies out on the razz DRINKERS in Leeds tiara and pubs could find themselves hunting down some exotic prizes as they sup pints THERE wasn't a triple vodka By RALPH SAVAGE of a ferocious tippleataires or a boob-tube in sight. when A spokesperson from Suzannah Bailey LMUS1.1 played host to a party students from LNIU. I..MUSU was also happy: "I Tiger Beer representatives will last week. am so pleased that the afternoon With music provided by he on the prowl for people seen with More than 100 pensioners The Rainy Dam Jazz Band' was a success and I think they a bottle of the fixer over the Chinese from Meanwood were invited the revellers joined in on the really enjoyed themselves. new year. The lucky prey will then along to a bash at the Beckett excitement after dinner and "I believe many of the guests have the chance to win prizes such a Park Sports Bar and Cafe even managed to show off a were impresaal that the students flews and free beer. had worked so hard to make where they enjoyed food, fest dance moves to their young The predatoriat ladies will be in the afternoon run so smoothly. (lancing and bingo for the partners. various ban. throughout February. afternoon. One of the pension drawing "l hope that this enhances The event was co-ordinated party goers explained how much the good work that many of by newly elected President and she had enjoyed herself, the students of LMU and the Student Community Affairs "I've had a marvellous dey. Students' Union do for the local ()Meer Teresa Exelby and I do hope we can do it again community." Advice is nice DEMOCRACY campaigners are sending out free advice packs to to ensure they are able to influence the decisions that affect them. writes Kiran Randhawa. Chant188 are oft-cling their "What is dernixastey 'r packs to students as part of their student network which stretchea across universities around the country. Greg Pow ta. Chariertilt"saiaing director commented: "Demnemey is about more than simply voting once everyfive years, it's about High prices still changing decisions. The democracy packs and student network will pin people in touch with one another and show how they can effectively influence decision makers." For free copies or more information about the Student Network Contact Sarah Brown on 0171 6E4 3877. food for thought Culture doc By MICHELLE CHAPPELL A FORWARD thinking medical & REBECCA SMITH student is pioneering an initiative to help his colleagues communicate with their Asian patients more FOOD prices are being fixed effectively. by Leeds University officials Vihhore Prasad, a third year at who are stopping the union Leeds University is running 'Touch front selling lower priced foods. of Spice' classes to offer advice on The union gave up as right to sell language and cultural issues that food ten years ago, in return for vase the students might experience during in the union building. Combined their careers. with the threatened closure of the Vibhore said: "Hindi and Urdu supermarket. this gives the University, are widely understood by patients a campus-wide monopoly of food from Asia and speaking a few words pricing. in the patient's own language can But it is students who are losing help demonstrate a doctor's out from the university's carrel. The willingness to communicate." university puts its contracts out to tender, so it can't subsidise catering prices. Union staff are angered by the artificially high prices. Sophie Nathan, Plans for town Societies Officer LUU said: "The threat is that we either salf their foods IDEAS for the regeneration of a Yorkshire town arc set to come with the same prices or they start From Leeds Metropolitan students, Writes Lucy Warwick-Chink charging re ni Drew our block grant. Rachel Chadderton and Lindsay lnce. both Urban Development 'The union isn't very happy with finalists at LW, spent their year placement working with the price of food." she added. "the Calderton council to assess the need for 'street Furniture' in Deli Bar is the biggest travesty, it's Todmorden. thrtiomite, Central catering doesn't Such furniture would include street benches and communal have an idea ate out what students seating areas as well as flower beds and displays. want." Hilary Brooke, Regeneration Coordinator for Calderton A spokesperson for Leeds Council was very impressed with their work_ University said. "Up to 1996 there She said: "Lindsay and Rachel's approach to the work was an agreement - which clear[} was absolutely outstanding. They showed great responsibility benefited both parties • whereby the and had a very professional and positive attitude ton olds union would not sell food and the faith the task and the loyal community in Tialmorden." university catering service would not sell alcohol." Phil Sumpner. Services Officer at LLJU said that the union is now unhappy with the comma and they Reservoir jobs are actively trying to change the situation. .1-114..ELESS browsers. now have a "There is a danger with the new careers website to look through. Monopoly. but weare finding ways writes Pervinder Singh. to work wound the contract. For The new site entitled 'Reservoir example we have negotiated the lob Student' aims its enabling opening ofa non profit-making Pitta students to make a smooth transition STORM IN A TEACUP: Many customers are angry at the university's food prices Pk: Pete Ghlktrik Bar." sai d a spokesperson foe URI. from student- life to professional Stuart Lopez, second year life. Management Studies student at Leeds sanctions. Clare &Winger, third year Asap_ 1 husoaft nolioal any Liillarox setting up a focus goupoistudents Its services include helping University said: "1 spend a fortune Geography student stud that the in price tc, caf6s or sandwich has." to raise legitimate concerns about students organise their study time eating at Univetsiry. The price of university has a responsibility to But the union is; trying to impruve price and duality." and seeking employment advice by food is ridiculous and it's just not maintain low prices,"The whole the situation with university catering. Aspokesperson for the university way of visiting virtual careers fairs. fair. You could have lunch cheaper point tithe union is that it is supposed Anna Richards. Communications commented: "Viaare working ciasely The creation of this cyber concept. in a pub in Headingley." to be cheap. I think it's terrible that officer at LULI said"Since raising with the student anion on a number is the result of a partnership between Students Itel that university la rssees the university is trying to control our tureens with university Catering of new ventures which will provide Post-It Index and Eurojam. arc undermining the traditional tote everything. 1' ve got friends at other Services they have been especially studentcwith a wider chs lice of food Reservoir Job Student can be oldie union, by imposing monopoly universities who say that food is dirt helpful with the Pitta Bar_ We are at competitive prices." accessed at wwwreservair-job.cani

7 COMMENT Leeds Student, Friday February 12 1999

Leeds Student With political correctness changing the way Joining the elite club may be a Should we be mixed blessing A BIG pat on the back to all the clubs and other businesses associated with the regeneration of our city's image and its now burgeoning reputation as the premier place to be up North. In American universities 'idle chatter The initiatives to develop a more refined and sophisticated environment have created pubs, bars cafes and clubs which are clearly the envy of one of a sexual nature' is against the rules. and all. Even cheeky cockneys are now falling over themselves to make the 400-mile round trip to CLARE RUDEBECK has the last word places like Square on't Lane. Mer-Jer's, and Break Jeri Barder. A special mention to our friends at L.MUSL1 as AST week the Prime well. whose 'Ents' profile received a richly deserved Minister, the fillip with their award fur the hest university venue Consemitive part). the press and the in the country in LIVE! magazine this week. churvh united. What The T&C may have the edge on capacity. and the Ldid It take to bring them proposed Elland Road arena may one day takeover together • a national disaster? A as the Leeds venue, but in the meantime. the pulling royal death? No. Only the power of the PolyBop and the huge range of quality *politically incorrect' remarks or an England football coach on gigs remains as strong as ever. an issue unrelated to his job. The importance of these places to the continued Tony hot-footed it to the This prosperity and expansion in Leeds cannot be Morning sofa. Not to he ten overestimated - an ever swelling student body and behind, a Tory MI Peter ficittondey. proclaimed that an increasingly young and mobile local population Hoddle's remarks were 'not give the city its dynamic drive, and so need to be Christian. scientific or catered for. acceptable.' But at the same time. there is the nagging danger This is what Glenn Noddle is of getting carried away by the hype and the two reported to have said to a journalist: 'You and I have been problems that arise as a result; neglecting the areas physically given two hands and in dire need of financial assistance. and building too two legs and half decent brains_ many new bars and clubs. Some people have not been born The demand is there, especially at the weekend like that for a reason. The karma with punters from far and wide flocking to the city, is working from another life.' So nu, they weren't scientific beliefs. but during the week. much of the central district They were religious. And no they remains deserted. The established venues will weren't Christian. They were always get by, but with more and more upmarket Hindu and Buddhist. Htsldle's venues charging upmarket prices are competing for belief that disabilities are provoked by behaviour in a past less and less business, the bubble is more likely to life is shared by over one billion burst. people world-wide. And as for As it stands, the balance is about right. but there acceptable - that's exactly my point_ are only so many clubs (and dare I say it Cockneys) OW OF SIGHT: Christmas In Birmingham is now called 'Whdental. even a city as 'cool' as Leeds can take. We pride ourselves on having a tolerant society. A society where shamelessly un-pc response in the How can we prove the case Glenn Hoddle was applied to our faiths are all races, colours and December edition of the LUU against it it we are not allowed to university he would he out of a acceptable. Political cormtness is magazine. Aware, was equally discuss it? A university is a place job. built on the idea that all human ferocious. 'How dare he uphold of learning, of inquiry. and In America an English FA chiefs must beings and their beliefs should he his freedom to read what he warns progression. This cannot happen Professor, Jared Sakren. is treated equally. No longer the over the moral right of the union if information is censored; if currently suing .Arizona State 'short' people. ridiculed for to protect women? Did he not certain subjects are off-limits. University following his sudden millennia by friends and realise letting these magazines go Think how many of your dismissal last Summer. The put the boot in colleagues. 'vertically challenged' was equivalent to flicking the lecturers have made un-pc university claim that he 'fostered people can now held their heads switch on sortie potential rapist? conunents, or Ones that could be a climate of sexism in his metaphorically higher. It is department. He claims that his It has been a horrible few months for the Football ludicrous and illogical that this only sin was to insist on teaching Association. Now it's time for them to start doing doctrine of total acceptahility is Shakespeare instead of modem being used to kick out a man their job. texts written by women. Were this professing 'unacceptable' beliefs. `Just to be politically correct, After a string of resignations. Hoddle's much- type of logic used over here, half And it's a very' dangerous be publicised remarks and subsequents departure and precedent for a university. At the the English Department would instead of a hand drill, maybe for in constant fear for their jobs, now a match throwing scandal, they must wish they beginning of the academic year were elsewhere. 1000 copies of GQ magazine Politic al co nectness has were dumped in LUU. The Union the girls it could be a food mixer' already led many US universities The tragedy of this latest allegation, involving to issue speech-axles. Rutgers betting syndicates, is that it's not just the clubs and Executive immediately flew into action, placing a 'Health University in New Jersey, for players who are affected - it's the loyal fans. Did he not realise that he too was construed as such. One 'if my example. outlawed all Warning' above the pile stating: a potential time-bomb? Women As yet, it's not clear which match results have been 'The Union Executive does not friends' lecturers once needed an 'communication in any manner everywhere were clearly in example of a purchase and chose likely to cause annoyance.' Put altered by betting irregularities but when it does come believe in the objectification of danger.' men and women, and we a hand-drill. Swiftly correcting simply: if you argue. you're out out that the outcomes of vital ties were nullified Surety the most important himself, he proclaimed: 'And just How do you learn if you cannot because of the actions of a selfish few, many therefore strongly advise against response to this comment is that reading this material.' to be politically correct, for the argue? Put simply: you don't. A supporters will be furious. And rightly so. you cannot form a person to girls it could be a food-mixer.' We university cannot function in an A GQ fan scrawled back: 'You believe something. How can we It's time for stricter regulation on sport in this should only observe the above all laughed and thought no more atmosphere of fear and oppose the 'objectification' of of it. It did not affect his ability to censorship. Political correctness country or else we'll all go and watch bowls instead. warning if you believe in women if we have never seen it? censorship.' The reply to this teach But if the precedent of must be resisted at all costs. Leeds Student, Friday February 12 1999 COMMENT

we live, Hoddle's gaffe may be a sign of things to come 1-sigrankeerrs free to speak easy?

MOKING Is on its way out. Apparently S so few ample smoke these days that Buckingham Palace has, withdrawn the Royal Warrant from Gallaher Tobacco, makers of Benson and Hedges 'the discerning southerners classy smoke', according to a reliable sourced. Yet neither Me Queen nor the Prince of Wales have been leading the moral eleuge to clean up the nations lungs. Well, how mild they Our beloved Royals have prospered through the years in a shmud of tobacco s-moke. Consider the evidence. The withdrawal of the walT13111. came as little surprise to many, considering Chad& inveterate loathing of the evil weed. Yet how could ihc Court he the same without the ever-present pall of smoke hanging oh-so-gracefully between the chandeliers during an official luncheon withQueenic*s sister. the geteehil Princess Margaret (or 'Fag End Lir as she has been jokingly known to her closest friends over the last two hundred years). Prince William. PRACTICALLY INCORRECT: Hlt TV series South Park and ex-England boss Glenn Handle characterise the different sides of political correctness apparently so close to opting for Licensed Retail Management in Leeds. wotildn't he the line How much twaddle did Hoddle talk? Too upstanding heir to the throne that he isn't if it wasn't for the sneaky fags behind the servants quarters at Eton much says NICOLA BEHRMAN, and we (allegedly), And who's heard the one about Princess Diana and the. Thai 'cigarette smoking trick'. No. neither shouldn't misuse our freedom to speak have 1. The point I'm labouring on so much is that smoking LENN Huddle an enlightened society where their freedom. We tray he debate. Political correctness is freedom infringes on other accoinpanies the upper deserves to he all opinions and beliefs are allowed to think things as stilling. out of date. and basic liberties. As well as the classes throughout their strung up and tolerated. But we should also individuals. we may he entitled offensive to our natural names of these doctors the almost pointless existences.. shot. We do have live in a society where public to do particular things as intelligence. But while you arc website also appealed to How will Benson and Hod a basic freedom of figures should not influence individuals but our role models lamenting these social visitors to submit their cur retain their unique jr me teas Gspeech in this country. As society as they do today. You are not - that is part of what injustices have a chew on this. registrations, home addresses root without Mai all does Glenn !Boddie. His only have to look at how much makes them role models. Glenn Last week the founders of an and the schools their children important Royal crest silting crime was not in publicising Ruud Gunit earned for Hoddle can have whatever anti-abortion website which attended. In addition, the proudly on the top of the his personal thoughts on names of tour doctors had packet where the gm:emote karma and reincarnat' but been crossed through. All tour health wanting should really in declaring them publican) were dead. Not of natural he? HOW will I be able to without being prepared to causes but killed in suspicious proudly ponce u British Glenn Hoddle can hold whatever personal beliefs he circumstances. The judge ruled take the consequences. cigarette again if I can't , that the website was guilty of Hoddlc is no newcomer to auinmon the image of Lord incitement to murder - u far the limelight. He has been on wants. But he is a football manager, not a spiritual Buggerfool-Smythe reclining more serious crime than the receiving end of the. British gracefully in a sedan. media's forked tongue many monitoring an individual': joyously billowing delicate freedom of speech. Our sin as times. We may nut sympathise guru, and his ultimate sin is in forgetting this rings of purest Benson into but most of us understand that a society is attempting to see the hazy atmosphere amond. becoming a public figure has freedom of speech as the his yellowing furniture? its downsides. One of those is endorsing Pizza Hut to realise personal beliefs he wants. but contained a list of doctors who trump card cif any democracy. People die of smoking. Of course it is something that that if you are a role model to the strength of their powers of he is in the public eye because performed abortions in the US That's certainly true. People millions of people you have a persuasion. he is a football manager. not a were taken to court and we should always he striving die for the Queen as well. responsibility to act a certain And as long as we give spiritual guru and as a result ordered to close their website for. but it is not and should apparently. But never again way and to keep your mouth power to these 'role models' his public comments should down and pay all court costs. never he an exclusive. over- will hilly Joe Public he ahl shut at certain points. we should also demand that only relate to the area in which The founders claimed they riding freedom achieved at the to savour his final puffs for Of course in an ideal world they understand the potential his expertise lies. Glenn were merely exerting their expense of other more Queen and country before fundamental!) important everyone should-be allowed to effects, The media will always Huddle's ultimate sin is in freedom of speech - one of passing on_ say exactly what they think. he snapping at their tails for forgetting this. democracy's founding freedoms. Call me pedantic but And as we approach the 2lst any slight misdemeanour or The fiasco re-lights the principles. the freedom to exist springs to Adam Blenford century we should be living in inappropriate utterance_ That is whole 'freedom of speech' Absolutely. Until this Mind_ ...... • • .. 0 CROSSWORD/STARS Leeds Student, Friday February 12 1999

Please write to: Letters to the Editor, LEEDS STUDENT NEWSPAPER Leeds University Union, PO Box 157 LEEDS LS1 1LIN Your life in Letters Email: lette•[email protected] Not necessarily the The truth behind William and his the stars Best way forward kids' television uni-que dilemma c,wA Q rieLfeesarilingly tTrm artliirruseietlan2p1171rietsut WOrhing' ■itti the tont: N 1111111) ■■11.0. You "In'1 ignOre Dear Editor, Dear Editor, Dear Editor, In response to your article 'Royal to:tmical Mueller. Rather Last week's article. 'On ihan, civiNur.lirld Cllr burnous' Kidding' failed to see the tragic battle heats up" I would like to say how genuinely excited and pleased I psychological dimensions inherent PISCES 110 Feb - 20 start !Jiving Whit•: is viirapng 'Lahti within our favourite old kids shows. am at the prospect of tIRH Prince through vont tile up to the weekend. I.tott ever not decades. George, the camp pink hippo Of William coming to Leeds, everything ill he plain sailing' Y•iu may feel amorous responsibility for letting In Rainbow was a being tortured by his 1 believe a future monarch would or you it irild ever' fall in kite NSW! SI-IMO:OW. lie Headingley slide clatigerolt$ •uwir sexuality: Geoffrey surrounded really brighten up the surroundings and keep vise. dremns under rotund A' one slum status'' "mself with bitarre creatures so he and give Leeds that sense of majesty plu,:ficial +I/ I it tlrut u i Son flt t Council services such 11-c .41Teet wouldn't have to face his own that the coy is lacking at present. step leads to anteater di in't ting lot cleaning anti bin collec.tir ins simply demons the is now stacking shelves; While 1 understand that higher it shut yin] re It sa don't reflect the extra needs of an area at Tescoi. education should he open to all. k HIEN 121 Ntur - 20 Apr I there",- nothing earth. with such a high concentration of As for the ',lumps' !which I'd regardless of background. someone Airmen rig a's'ut the between cm mnnitnncal, ye students. Octet actually heard of before' they of William's stature would help to Icrcury And Iluoitating Pluto The danger is that you Hyde Park remains unlit, despite sound too touch Itke 'dumps' to raise the profile of the university ,..stutd is: it to 11.4■45' ova a decision Curious siitianorm the yearly cauilogue of mugging.% and discount the possibility of the fecal- above its current rif-oaf profile with :And pm% Mein meetings ought dependliv assaults. obssessed creator. which we are so commonly , w 1100 and when you launch atourney.l'smottut of Hui)Id Best bemoans the The ' 4lagic Roundabout' was a associated. harm', w.ar. by interim ,Myitir ;11044 firtlit petty exploitation of students, but offers no poignant reflection on the drugs Also. w hen my friends and apoloey for his putty's dismal failure culture sweeping the world:and acquaintances began deliberating 'kw:11)111c, both nationally and locally to do Captain Pugwash was lull id sexual over [he finer points of our glorious TA Ukt t 21 1pr - 20 N110. i anything about it_ innuendotcharacters suc h as 'Master city we too came to the conclusion children .)r ink-11,k RAIN:- to 1,,l,„;.• sci1411J,11 I ir This is not good enough. Things Bates' or 'Roger the Cabin hoy'l. reached by the LMli spokesperson ■11/11 Val!, II cart and should be done to protect I knew it was ultimately worth printed in the article: that is. Leeds \ I t.Slic 1,011 to ' 11(7.1r1, !. h.t, I: • pow! Stop rushing Slott slot, ri, students from exploitation, crone and taking an elective In psychology, is however a place for everyone 'hey Mi nee like y. nr t.. Paints. CAring Venn:, dud !upper the environmental blight the area is even royalty. will boost .iuy special meetings and it ytql strike a suffering from. JM So come and juin us William - ov The party has just hegun. meet-tne. half-o, ay attitude. tiling', III unprr e David Pratt Editor's reply: Just because he's (;E5'II1iI t21 Miry - 20 June) Your world writ brim Ileadingley liberal Democrats pink_ rho re 't rum need to make Yours Regally with all lona% of news. At least one Ilett) of gossip will I4NSUMPW ,I+S obout George's J Sehafield-Renelyn be tactful. Lingering doubts about what Editor's reply: l'oltucainA using in Aelloolm Sia' In• no 114.'0 friends winos you. Mt 11,Itli ■ill perlilt, dine (Inr ■Iltel UN' pink and I think they'd sonieone has said_ Mundtl he given time before you finally decide how to respond. You'll Sc, in receive 111.11r :id eq. itorkine r, rir'rrir r n, (di rindiv. IV 'MIN! offended. an ten Ade the jurthienb.., orr4 iv nrrr ' intriguing phone call, A.Nt t 21 June - 2,0 July 'Therr's an adventurous sitarli,le in the guts:. Ri mosaic Venus and DOUBLE CROSSWORD No 10,014 spiLy Ntar% will test yi Cr (echoes. Don't ru.sh to any conclusiiins or allow someone's sweet-talk to astound CRYPTIC CLUES you. Show bow you can be anti find NI out if what siinirone silys matches their actions. ACROSS DOWN illE1111111111111111 LEO (21 July - 21 Aug! You've grt to make a mower Has a double life. 2 Beach fortress say something about a situation that's been distarbirig but was once revered by removed by the tide (4.6) • • • • you. 11 you don't_ it will continue to stagnate Apart the Egyptians (4) 3 The spirit Is weak- 8. He is treated as ened by it (4) from which, helpful Venus shines hopefully on your a hospital visitor (3.71 4. They make a flight money possibilities anti something you plan to change_ 9. Site land differently by which is followed Happily, romtunic links sumiund stogie Leos. one who strives tor per- by a landing (6) fection (8) 5. Ha refuses to eat *it1 I RGO (22 Aug - 22 Sepollow you see yourself this 10 Blooming desenption more quickly (6) week will he as important Ifil10% others see you of cheek! (4) 6. They're very small, but Dresru lig to impress also means wearing a confident 12 They cover the eyes they cause ill-feeling (81 altitude, even in humor people you're uncertain about. 7 Don't move when ha is Re subtle and diplomatic - it's the best way to play a embraced by a girt (6) the support (4) winning game! Influential Jupiter, will shortly bring 14 Sturdy vehicle has 11, Nurse should have head- corrosion outside (61 wear - that's an order for changes to enlighten your long-term outlook. 15. Goes hunting, we hear, women (10) tar wading birds (61 13 The birthright of their LIBRA (1.1S•ept - 22 Octt The ; . • `f.!\ 17 Native pearl manu- crazy generation (8) .S111111111111111 all kinds of tunes The most 13.41).:' ;+ .'.. , facturer (6) 16. This board is critically flowing from harmonious V.-, i..!,. , i re; ,. ,:, ii,. iiL +ci 18. Crooked inclination (4) balanced (6) effective jingles areswecpuil_ in trot is ■I) riall'ilt' kLirS, 17. Sleeping draught - 19. They say pleasant things ..1%. money. personal iriatturtithip4 end y„t•,,. ;,11 . k.C.tvli Ku one is placed in about people am destined to Utopia temporarily (6) make hfe mettforaVe ,n !It. ,ie %%a; who have departed (8) 1 hani,ner 21 Telephone an expert 16. Furry animal, we hear. circus performer 110f having all outer SOLUTIONS TO SCORPIO i2.3 Oct - 22 Novt Your talented Quick Crossword answers 22 In the manoeuvres I covering removed (4) PUZZLE 10,013 20. Tunes affected perfonnani• in vitiate\ or pots the on vi tar also fit the large grid defended the flank (4) QUICK attitudes (4) - special 'dolls is g.otrig Ili be well applauded. If you feel Across: 7 Craft; 8 Tarrarn_9 R tike en out al tune instrument intae's orchestra, it dergo. 10 Grind: 12 Licentious, QUICK CLUES ' illli 4 4 won't he long before one situation offsets ant ahcr. 151*mi:haled, 18 Error, 19 Vaunt- Your willpower will win the day. ed, 21 Channel; 22 Green ACROSS DOWN • • Down: I Occurreneai. 2 Tarev: 3 SAGITTARIUS (23 NOV 20 MO Before You pick 1. Overlook (4) 2 Impracticable Stir. 4 Stroke: 5 Brighten; 6 Jan- up the phone, pen or microphone, be very sure than you 8. Intermittently (10) a UM • 1 t , 11 Despondent: 13 inher- haven't left nut a small detail. The sante applies at (3. 3, 4) 3. Sharp break (4) ent. 14 Entreat. 16 Lively: 17 interviews or sporting events where winning relief on 9. Whole (8) 4. Proprietors (6) Strew- 20 Urge, • " • Mil maximising your confidence. without getting tau 10 Mislay (4) 5. Purpose (61 CRYPTIC 12. Rate (6) iiii• • optimistic. You also know that the most important thing Across: 7 Alpe, 8 Elevens: 9 6. Male horse (8) at the moment is to get back to ba.:ics. 14. Laboured (61 7. At one time (4) • Knowing; 10 Slant; 12 Indecis- 15 Not present (6) ' 11. Loud-voiced (10) fon_ 15 Forewarned; 18 Eaten: 17. Inborn (6) • CAPRICORN (21 Dec - 19 Jam it's possfhle that whin 19 Mexican, 21 Viewers; 22 Areas 13. Always (8) 18 Side (4) III. ill MEM: you thought hail gone away. or ended, could suddenly Down: 1 Parking tee; 2 Apron, 19. Irreverent 16. Pulsates (6) catch you off your gum '.1. Y'sn'te clVv," a 3 Taxi; 4 League. S Perspire 9 "la Ing pang (8) 17. Drank in (6) ).numelf scarre or ‘.1. in U1111)0(111-.1.: tio.appoiliw act Tel Avrv: 11 Tenderness; r a Ni? 21 Not likely (10) (8. Stumble (4) ■Your hest potty!: 11 to deal with whatever Decors directly_ wonder, 14 Fritter. 16 Remiss. I =MI 22 Rave (4) 20. Ogle (4) Happily, your job and social life look positive 17 Screw: 20 X-ray

10 IFICO S ORSL :IT n love with ove ov,.... is a many splendoured In terms of depth and nuance, "Happy question. Inside, it reeled otT the usual pap thing. It can build a bridge, it Binhday" isn't a patch on its Valentine's about "Falling endlessly into your eyes" ur changes everything, it's in the Day equivalent. It simply hammers home something else in a nice font. If, after THTNkTN9 L air. it's all around us. it conquers its message through basic repetition. reading that, you're still in search of a all... In fact. there MI a single thing admittedly with a cleverly placed "Dear definition, the dictionary manages a you can say about love that hasn't l whoever!" at the end of the thin' line. pleasantly reserved understatement: About already been said in a million plains. "Rows Are Red", on the other hand, is "Love, a worm feeling of affection; sexual proverbs and chart hits - except rich with flavourful imagery. passion. •' perhaps that love is an anagram of Firstly, there's the flower motif, Furthermore, my personal source tit all you... 'sole'. But if anyone ever tries to ostensibly a hollow piece of foundation knowledge. the 1966 edition of Tell Me convince me that that's a romantic work included merely as a means of Wire is completely and embarrassingly notion, I'm never letting them use my setting up the rhyme for the ensuing stumped by the question. Instead of the video to record Put Re+cur ever again. couplet. But what may tit first appear to listed ors! -nage explanation - .a.1 ails is I wish I had been the person who came contprise two simple statements of fact up with the rhyme "Roses air red. violets co ►cerning the colour of a couple of lineatiatsing oi hc:u are blue. sugar is sweet. mat so are you." I bouquets is revealed tinder examination to accompanied by the wind ',Am.- Such mean, it's an absolute classic. Much better be a •iimpteri contextual device, desperation is unique in the I asi- than "Happy Birthday Ti . You". which, in ii aroduei rig immediately the romantic li ruling to and the lack sit a oueo ion Illy trprniun. is highly overrated. The subtext of the piece flume) semantic stark following the outburst is Isiah descendants of the married couple who association - flowers. of clause. tieing a perplexing and unnerving. It almost seem:. wrote "Happy Birthday" hack in the traditional gift between losers. like a ery for help. thirties live to this day, off the royalties This gut me thinking about why we TS tone and subject estahlislaxl, the associate the generated by us use in films mid TV d.1 programmes. I hope that whoever wrote poem then makes a surprising thematic emotion of love - "Roses Are Red" is doing likewise. I leap from flowers to sugar, thus with an organ as \ANY tow-if: widening its scope in an unexpected yet defiantly practical C_MT perfectly apt manner. And herein lies the as the heart. If love SNOCI genius of the verse's message. What I was purely a brain \gm- really admireis its concentration on thing, I'd be able to "sweetness" above anything more forgive its complicated. Address this rhyme to irrationality and someone and all you're committing rejection of logic. yourself to is a simple "Hey, you're The heart, though. sweet", nothing more, which is what knows exactly what Valentine's Day is all about. it's doing. It's got a Aiming any higher than that with a plan and it just keeps Valentine message is pretty futile. No on going at it until it matter how sincerely you say the words "I wears itself out. love you". they'll always come out Perhaps this very sounding corny. You'd think that the quality - this language of love would have the power to determination to seize rise above the tacky trappings afforded to life and just keep on it by gift shops and greetings cards but squeezing - is what we somehow it doesn't_ Love isn't something admire most about the you can say. It's something you can only heart, and what we ultimately would like do. 4•111mo . I once saw a Valentine card that asked to apply to a concept as "What is love?" on the front. Good slippery as love.

Greasy pubescent hormones causing you emotional grief? Write to our teen love expert Gareth. (Sorry, but Gareth can't enter into personal correspondence, and is actually made up.) ■••■■••■cmhassles Relight my fire First kiss blues Like it or lump it

recently started going out with a lad I've landed for I'm going on holiday to Weymouth soon and I'm worried In the .1os-ter the other day, I felt a small lump near my ages but, after just a few dots, he's acting like he's sick of that when it comes to getting tiff with boys in the armpit. I'm too eutharntased to go to the doctor because Its me. What can I do to rekindle his Interest? amusement arcade, I won't know what to do. Can you on my body, hut sometimes it feels sore and I'm worried It Hanson fan, 14 gist- ine any tips? might be dangerous to leave it. Shy girt, 12 Terrified. 15 What this boy needs is some meantngless mrz to ride hint over until he meets someone less boring. Next time he i moos actice your technique by cutting a mouth-sized slit in the Just because you have a painful lump under your skin doesn't round to your house, suggest a hit of bedroom action to sale of a pineapple and pressing it over your face. Stick your mean there's anything wrong. It could he caused by a bodge the gap between Holivooks and EastEnders. But make tongue firmly into the flesh) groove and lick forcefully until misplaced coin. Tty squeezing it fiat or moving it to a less sure the door's locked - you'd never live it down if your its seed spills out over your chin. For maximum tealisin. visit obvious pan of your body. If that doesn't work. use a mum walked in! a local- made and lean against the hack of Mega/Jen:in 'B. corkscrew to drag it up to the surface of your flesh, then throw it away.

♦ V- •■•••-•r V 67E110 411.1117.

Leeds Student, Friday February 12 1999

Salsa Dancing Folayil Dating Cilia does it with style, Dail in Leeds, and sent three co

Name: Adam Blake Name: Nicola Behrman Name: Tim Grainger Age: 23 Age: 20 Age: 19 Course' Licensed Retail Management. Leeds Metropolitan Course: Broadcasting Studies. University of Leeds Course: Landscape Architecture. Leeds Metropolitan Interests: Socialising, eggs, DJing Interests: Theatre, travelling, making mini-documentaries Interests: Music, tank tops. blue hair Perfect woman: Nice hands and eyes, outgoing, sense of Perfect man:Tall and dark with blue eyes. Thought Perfect woman: Quirky, individual, pretty. Someone who's humour, curvy. a hit of give and take . provoking. fashionable dress wise. but individual. Favourite film; La Haine Favourite film: Chasing Amy Favourite film: Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels Three words to describe himself. Stippling. feathering. Three words to describe herself: Indecisive, passionate, Three words to describe himself: Loud, spikes', top-class biting intelligent imipmr, I first saw her think it was more as friends-11M 1111111RIPM; I was, M him up ank, which moileillift TOM* • 7 she wasn't what I had than anything else. I'd like to thinking, "What on didn't sound too promising. At didn't instantly fancy had arisen. Thmughnut sse ' expected. To be see her again as a friend but I'm earth am I doing'!" I was about 9 o'clock. I asked him hers but she looked like about serious things as well honest I didn't fancy her but I not going 0) ask her out. I relieved when I rod him that he where he was going afterwards_ really nice girl. She was very laughing. thought she was a really nice thought that she had nice eyes didn't have two heeds. Then he said that he wasn't talkative which was good. and We shared a taxi back and girl. She said that she had been and was very down to earth, As He's not necessarily the really going. that was just his easy to get on with. We sat on the when we departed I gave hear d worried that I was going to he fie her fancying me, I don't type of guy I malty go for. If sense of humour. train and chatted and realised we on the cheek. We got ou well a winsring a bright orange shirt. know. I'd met him in a club situation I So we went on to the Lava had a tot of things in common like friends but I don't think it will The whole experience was The highlight of the evening don't think I'd have made a Lounge. On the way we went music and an. There were never develop into a relationship: I slightly like being at school.. was going to the fair and special effort to talk to him. Not through the fun fair and he won any moments when we couldn't warmed to her more as a friend We went salsa dancing and winning a teddy hear. all in all that that says much because I me a teddy, which was lovely. think of things to say to each other. than seeing her as a possibk there were only six other it ssais very amusing and we don't normally chat people up. He was a complete gentleman I think that she kicked off the girlfriend. We have many people which didn't create the really gut on well, She We went to the Pitcher and all night - opening doors and conversation, turd I sat back and let similarities and we eilkede kK hest of atmospheres_ I really promotes a night on Sunday at Piano first and talked about that sort of thing. It was all her talk which wasn't a good thing about an and other things. l had enjoyed the salsa - there were Liquid. so probably go what he'd put on his form. We quite easy. on my pan. I should have made brilliant time during the date no broken toes! along there. I think blind dines actually had a few things in He had been worried that his more of an effort. think that everyone ought to dal Throughout there were no are a great idea and I'd commcm, It turned out his friends might come to the club was a bit apprehensive about theni embarrassing silences and we definitely do it ngain. favourite film was La Mane and embarrass him. But in fact going to the steam baths as we She definitely has the quaIi were always having jokes The only embarrassing thing and I'd walked past a poster when we got there two of my wen: both half naked, but there I look for in someoue. and if together. We chatted ail night happened after the date. Nicola that day and thought about how house-mates were there. He wasno tension there_ I didn't hadn't met on a blind date then and talked, about Olen Boddie had asked me ill needed any I wanted to see it. probably thought it was a set-up really have a problem with it. At imagine site's the kind algal amongst other things money for the taxi and I'd said The salsa lesson was really which was very funny. the baths we had a laugh In the would have gut on withanyw As for things in common- no. When It arrived at my funny. There were six girls and We shared a taxi home plunge pool and generally had a think my friends would get an my favourite film was La house, I realised that I didn't us. We cotdd get the steps on together at the end of the good time with her as well Heine. and she was going to see have enough, and did o runner! our own, but it didn't seem to evening and said we might It wasn't the most romantic of We'll probably meet up it that evening. We're also both In general I don't think she's work when we got together. meet up again. It would be nice settings as there were so many fur a drink. but there are no left-handed... my kind avid as I like After everyone else lett we to see hint because he was a people around. and there was no wedding bells. After the salsa we went to someone a hit more curvy and decided to have one last spin nice guy. but there won't be any Lava Lounge and had a bit of a more laid back - she was very around the dance-floor. It was romance. jig. It was as though we had confident. The date was fun fun and not clammy at all. known each other before as we though su I haven't got any He'd said at the beginning • .Salsa Dancing at Po Na Na saucy Lmu A brief were chatting so much - but I regrets. of the evening that a friend was Tel: 243 3247

psychologist A LENTINUS DAY had its beginnings in the pagan sing fertility rites which were usually held at the beginning of Fehrutto. Stephen In Rome it was called LupiaCelis and was a Spring festival where would get really drink and avow Sayers gets to partners by picking names out of a pal at random, They'd normally stay with these partners for a year as a kind of the heart of and then they would seal the deal presents. The Christian church. which was the Valentines struggling to impose Christianaycn Roman Empire, began to get worried about all this rumpy pumpy add `We could get the steps on our own, but it didn't seem to work when we got together' tuition inappropriate behaviour. So they -

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JUICE what's inside 12-02-99 e

`IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO BE ORIGINAL WITHOUT BEING CHEESY OR CLICHED' Exorcise the valentine demons with our handy hints

centre pages plus fire ''17(-='?1...OWDOWN All the fun of the fair- what rides turned you an? PLUS finding freebies on the 'net RE‘fIEWS 7-9

ANBCIMZ • THE TEIVIPET- - HILARY AND JACKIE • A BUG'S UFE ARIViAGEDOON • KISSING A FOOL

MUSIC • GENE G • PAN SONIC • JIMI TENOR - INDIAN ROPEMAN • THE CREATURE S

BOOKS 9 • GLAIVIORAMA • PANDORA • IMPOTENT MAN SHAKESPEARE 10 Why the Bard is taking the world by storm KENT II How to survive being named after a small english county

CUPID'S CHOONS 14 Music to get the sparks flying GUIDE 152 How celebs do in the lurve stakes

The only Leeds guide you'll ever neecil Leeds Student

15

Edited by Louise Sherwood Freshly squeezed every Friday Raisins the Roof RYPTONITE (with a'K') may be the lugglers.The night is in aid of the charity St. stuff that gets Superman scared but on George's Crypt which raises money for homeless C Wednesday Cryptonite will also be a and disadvantaged people and the money from this night of music, drama and Djs. particular event is going towards the 'More than a The Valentine's Beware! Valentine's day will be rite with fheesey The night which is to be held at the Warehouse Roof Appeal'. Fair - Leeds Student includes a number of local DJs including Funky There will also be a short film at the end of the writers [nay appear Diva,African Drums. Shame, Flying Funk. Dave night and voluhnteers from St. Georges Crypt at to be obsessed with Monkey and Ambient Drumming. Inbetween sets the event who will be available to talk about what it. but we do have to the funds raised from the night will be spent on. there will also be performances from the University look at it for hours plus free tea! Theatre Society as well as mime artists and fire Tickets are C4 out of the office window and it is a great thing to do while it's here. If the See our rides scare you to death

DAVID H A4YEILS Staying in with your loved one - 15 I'm sure you can think up far more things to do, if you opt for this ck Idea, than could fit in this space so I'll leave it up PTICIANS to your imagination. ff Going out with mates - every pub and dub has got some special Valentine's night going on, Voucher elle although most of these aren't actually on the day. but I'm sure there will be a number of in promotions around Leeds on Valentine's evening

Leeds gucci Giving Valentine's cards to everyone you know - let's keep the people happy Student at least there'll be no upset over who didn't get oakley one Bowling - Face the facts, it worked in Grease 2 [Well kinda.Actually I think she stormed off with carrier a trophy or something] Meal out/in - either way as er British meat adverts claimed their nosh was the recipe for moschino love and as food also provides aphrodisiacs this seems like a good option to make your Valentine's Day turn out a treat.

calvin klein Cinema - not the most exciting idea and rather corny If you go and see some slushy flick, but it maintains that old tradition of couples getting up air titanium to things in the back row... Staying at home in front of the tv and sobbing about your single-ness Maybe you feel like doing lust this but really it giorgio armani doesn't seem to help that much and anyway the delights an the box seem to extend about as far as the Channel 4 Political Awards dolce & gabbana jean-pail gaultier Barlow Blunder

72-74 Albion St TERRIBLE tragedy has But have no fear he's OK he not in occured which will cause more prison or taking copious amounts of Leeds Athan a few hearts to break this drugs. Not this clean-cut lad. He's just Barclays Valentines day. It is the fact that working hard and doesn't want to do the Bank LSI 6AD Gary Barlovis UK Arena tour has gigs without having completed his new been rescheduled, with his April 2 1 st album. re) gig at Sheffield Arena now put back So really he's thinking of his beloved to Friday 17th December. fans and the treat they'll have in store Albion Street What are all those poor adoring girlies when he plays his new stuff What's more 0113 to do? Make do with Robbie. listen to he sent them all a personal letter to Mark Owen's 'Child' single, go through apologise for the postponement Ira Headrow their Take That back catalogue, pine for Everyone say aaaah. months on end or all of these options Car Park Argos 242 1111 However the good news is that together? Who know's what havoc this unbelievably there are still tickets for the Branchos also at decision may have caused. gig in eleven months' time So make sure are Southport Moreover what could possibly be the to get yours, while you can. Here reason for such a decision?Your worst Lytham St Anne's fears are raised as you try to contemplate Only LI 5 or £1750. what could have happened to darling Gal. Box Office 0114 256 56 56

JUICE this 12-02-9 week 43 THE Top

I like being strapped down, I like the ones where you sit FIVE then being taken to heaven in a row and it spins you and back on something big round. 'cos I spew all over my and fast for less than E3 mates - too much candy floss - Rosie Gomez, first year THIS Women's Studies - Jo Wilson, first year Zoology WEEK Movies

I. SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE

2. A BUG'S LIFE

3. VERY BADTHINGS I like the rides with the I like to go on rides that take added thrill of the possibility What gives you the you upside down. So long as 4. HIDEOUS KINKY of the bolts coming out of it goes upside down, then I'm 5- MEET JOE BLACK the ground happy - Louise Low, second year • Rob Kanter, first year History most fun of the fair? Economics and History Albums

I . LAURYN HILL MI/education

2. STONE ROSES Complete

3. THE CORKS Talk On Corners

4. FATBOY SLIM You've come a long way

5. ROBBIE WILLIAMS I've been expecting Dodgems have the biggest I enjoy being rammed, so I We both enjoy riding the ferris wheel because we I like a mixture of up and insurance payout potential, suppose the dodgems would be like on anything big and round down, Fast and slow. Fairs are with the possibility of my first choice! far too exciting for me! whiplash and spine related injuries - Anton Ovits, first year Chinese - Sam Goult and Pascale Hall, fourth year French - Coleman, second year Politics - Marc Hoc, first year Biology Singles I. ARMAND VAN HELDEN You don't know me

2. BLONDIE Maria

3. OFFSPRING Cast your net wider Pretty fly 4. STEPS Tragedy

HE Internet is often in fancy dress or images of S. A+ hailed as a world of celebration balloons. Recipes Enjoy yourself T knowledge and The Virtual Bistro resources as well as being Bits of books http://www.dawncities. renowned for providing a Divine Life Society: comivirtualbistrotindex space to say anything. http://www.isp.ukans.edui- .htm Videos However it also has a lot of pkanagaridivinetreligionsiyo There are many sites which freebies on offer if you take gachristian.htm offer recipes for everything, I. FROM DUSKTIL the time to trawl past the You never get the whole thing from non-alcoholic drinks. to DAWN information, porn and but sometimes you can get cuisine around the world and rubbish. Some of the extracts from books. Passages from cocktails to all time 1.SHAWSHANK goodies that are available from books within these pages favourite dishes. The site listed REDEMPTION include... include titles such as Yoga and here doesn't actually Christianity... 3. JERRY MAGUIRE Flowers There are also many Virtual Florist Greetings Cards different kinds of offers to get 4. WEDDING SINGER http:ff I 23 Greetings including free games and free S. FARGO www.virtuafflorlst.com 123 23greetings trials of a number of other You can send either real or .com subscription paying sites which virtual flowers at this site. I'm There are loads of sites offering you can sometimes access not sure about the real flowers free cards with room for more than once if you insist on but the virtual ones are good messages and these cover a getting in. So go bargain hunting quality. There is a wide selection variety of purposes and can be and don't forget to stop off at e.oests, by and as well as the bouquets moving or play music when the free Virtual Irish Pub for a there are also alternatives to 'opened'.Also Valentine's cards chat when you get tired of WNW/ *way/ flowers, with pictures of people are available searching.

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Free cinema tickets? Basking in a OUR regular cinema ticket giveaway continues this term, with a pair of tickets available on this page every week for the film of your choice. rae of light To win this week's tickets. lust answer the following ridiculously easy Grand Central's Rae and Christian are Manchester's hottest export question. since The Stone Roses, and look set to put the country's rainest city firmly back on the musical map as it was in the hazy dayz of the Which British actor, currently in Madchester revolution. residence at the WestYorkshire Last year's Northern Sulphuric Soul was a star studded affair, drafting the likes Playhouse, has been nominated of the Jungle Brothers,Texas. QBall and CurtCazal, and received exceptional for an Oscar this year? critical acclaim in all quarters They'll be at the Cockpit next Wednesday (17th). but you need not wait that First correct answer wins. Tickets are only long to experience the aural delights of Rae and Christian as by answering the available for films that have been on simple question below two of you lucky people can win a copy of the album national release for two weeks or longer. signed by the boys thernselves.The first person to call in will also receive an exclusive Rae and Christian goodie bag, including a t-shirt and posters. WARNER Name the Sunderland footballer whose surname is Rae VILLAGE CINEMAS First two correct answers win

To enter any of these competitions, simply ring 243 4727 and leave us your answer, name and contact phone number. GOOD LUCK?

Competitions end each week at midnight on the following Tuesday. Only one entry per competition per household. The editor's decision is final. Prizes will only be given out from our office at LMUSU. JUICE12-02-99 revieuum

PLAY with the help of an airy spirteAriel.sets BARD about revenging his fall VIDEO ACTION Like many Shakespeare plays, the plot functions on various levels. providing The West some wonderful comic Interludes from Armageddon Yorkshire Alonso's butler and entertainer played STARS: Tempest Playhouse brilliantly by Will Keen and Willie Ross, and Boacerain, the lovable monster Bruce Willis, (Malcolm James.) Ben Affleck, Yet another howling The simple yet cleverly constructed How very Liv Tyler success for Ian McKellen set conveys the isolation and mysticism of the island perfectlyThe use of a Afflecktive microphone to distort Ariers eery songs adds further to the spooky atmosphere. HIS final offering in the Ian NE of two end-of the-world The one disappointment is the use of McKellen trilogy at the scenario films released last women CO play the roles of the King. TPlayhouse is possibly the best year, Armageddon is an brother and councillor.These evil O yet and proves that Leeds really entertaining, if not entirety characters became somewhat can rival London's West End in the deep and meaningful watch. ridiculous, at one point even causing the quality and calibre of its Unlike its close relation, Deep audience to involuntarily laugh at their performances. From the delivery Impact, director Michael Bay of the opening lines to the bitchiness, and producer Jerry wonderful staging of the storm you The star undoubtedly was Ian Bruckheimer wisely choose McKellen,who has just been nominated can be sure that the Shakespeare special effects and slapstick for an Oscar His understanding and of tedious English lessons is well comedy over political dilemmas interpretation of the role and and truly left behind. and deliberations. marvellous diction made his speeches The Tempest revolves around A clue to the lack of seriousness Prospero, the lamer Duke of Milan, who intelligible to all attached to the predicament is in overthrown by his brother.flees.A If you can get your hands on a ticket, the choice of personnel sent into through love, money or more dubious howling storm leaves him and his young space CO deal with the "vicious life- daughter stranded on a lonely island means then do, for this is certainly not sucking bitch" of an asteroid heading one to be missed. where we find them twelve years later. for earth. Highly-trained astronauts Learning that his brother is sailing close are made redundant in favour of the by Prospero raises a vast tempest and. Eleanor Mawrey world's most infamous deep core oil driller Harry Stamper. played with !LARY and Jackie is the story typical gung-ho determination by of the lives of the du Pre FILM DRAMA Bruce Willis, and his team of rough Hsisters, following Jackie's rise and ready riggers. Steve Buscemi as to cello stardom and her tragic sleazy scoundrel Rockhound mental and physical demise-The Hilary STARS: delivers some suitably dirty one- film has been very controversial, Emily liners and is equally amusing when resulting in criticism of its and Jackie T'STHE same old story. he degenerates from hard man to portrayal of the musician as unfair, Watson Simpering, flavour-of-the- VIDEO COMEDY nervous wreck in the ensuing crisis. unsympathetic and inaccurate. Imonth sitcom star, fuelled by a Had Armageddon been left as a heady mixture of self-obsession However, as a piece of cinema it is STARS: slick action movie, it would have well written, powerfully acted and ci Tugs at all the right and the mindless adoration of the Kissing a been entirely satisfying, but extremely emotive. strings American public, has a misguided David unfortunately the usual smaltz has As children, Hilary and Jackie are stab at big-screen success. 8-list Fool Schwimmer to be inserted into the script.This is Inseparable. However.as Jackie's (Emily obscurity beckons... provided by the dewy-eyed coupling Watson) extraordinary gift for the cello sclerosis and the remainder of the film It doesn't seem that long ago that of Liv Tyler and Ben Affleck. The develops. the girls grow apart. Hilary depicts her deterioration and eventual the Friday nights of the nation •••• Self obsessed Schwimmer scene before the departure of the revolved around Friends. Drinking, settling for a more conventional death.The two sisters are united before sinks into stupor space ship is especially nauseating married life and Jackie for a whirlwind the end of her life in what Is the most clubbing and normal social interaction with Affleck playing make-believe of international tours, parties and the traumatic part of the film.The vision of were willingly traded in for half an with animal-shaped biscuits over hour of knockabout 'hilarity' with the company of the rich and famous_ the broken women compels the David Schwimmer to cake the plunge Tyler's perfectly-formed body whilst flatmates you always dreamt of. Sadly. Watson learnt to play the cello for audience to forgive her earlier in the form of a fairly inoffensive they lie in a sun-drenched orchard. as the bandwagon grinds execrably the film as she believed it to be insulting behaviour. romantic romp. Clinging to his Cute. into its fifth series. both laughter and to try and imitate the mastery of du Hilary and Jackie is an exceptional typecast for dear life, Schwimmer However, the overall high action patience are running pretty thin on Pre without having any sense for the film in all respects.Admittedly it is stammers his way endearingly through content and comedy is enough to the ground. feel of the music hardly apt to call it enjoyable due to its a series of slapstick set- get through these sticky bits and And so, like six well-coiffed rats Desperate for love and attention sorrowful conclusion but it is thought- pieces-There are moments emerge to see the ending which, not fleeing a sinking ship, the cast sensibly and totally unfufilled by her career. provoking and deeply touching.The that rise above medocrity, to give away the conclusion start beefing up their CVs in Jackie persuades Hilary to let her sleep music is fantastic whether you are a fan but ultimately, his completely. does involve Bruce Willis of the cello or not. and even though preparation for the inevitable day in tears.Yes, even big boys cry with her husband.We've heard of 'share five chums CO bounce off. 1 when feel-good high-finks and lolly- and share alike' and 'what's mine is you cannot help but be saddened by it. Schwimmer looks tragically sometimes. stick style one-liners just don't hit the yours' but this is stretching sisterly love it is definitely one to be seen. out of his depth. a little far. spot. SallyYoung Jackie is diagnosed as having multiple Victoria Cohen In Kissing A Fool, it's the turn of Henry

attraction of advertising the sultry the plot which makes this such a brilliant. Lauren Pushkin voices of glitzy stars such as great film.The makers of Toy Story Forget Antz, in fact Sylvester Stallone, Sharon Stone. have managed to show why they are forget any other animated Woody Allen and Danny Glover. capable of producing box office hit movie. A Bug's Life is A Bug's Life Superficially, A Bug's Life does not after box office hit.The animation is definitely the one seem to offer much (barring the what makes this so compelling. everyone should be talent of Kevin Spacey.) Yet this film We are seeing more and more watching now. Slimey, should definitely be classed as one computer animated films, but the slippery but of the best films of 1999. Only an makers of A Bug's Life are the seriously sexy hour and half in length, this tight innovators and it shows.Wlth each hearted enjoyable film ends at just new film, the mastery is getting the right time. leaving its audience finer, the characters are satisfied and not over indulged with becoming more believable. FTER all its sweetness. and the cinematography is the The film follows Hopper. an ant becoming more of a centre accolade A who can't help but fall into trouble. of focus. that Anti received, A After he endangers his entire ant A Bug's Life does not Bug's Life had a lot population, he leaves the nest to need to sell itself by to answer to. search for some bigger bugs to help associating itself with a Not only was him get everything back to normal multitude of stars. It did not Antz released a good again.The plot is simple, it is cheesy need to be the first ant to few months before to say the least. contains all the come out of the hill. it is its accessor, but it usual Hollywood ingredients, love, brilliant also had the adventure, danger and humour.To merely added put it finely A Bug's Life is because absolutely it is adorable, - yet it is not

19

revieuus JUICE

MUSIC SINGLES MUSIC ALBUM ALBUM Gene Pan A REVELATIONS Blast Force Polydor Sonic

No tune, no lyrics, no real Genetic improvement point

N FIRST impressions A is UST as the Manic Street merely a terrible album, Preachers probably dream (in 0 devoid of any recognisable jivain) of an interview that tune or melody. its both difficult doesn't have the inevitable'Richey and unrewarding to listen to. Question', Gene likewise must However, a closer examination fantasise about the day those reveals something much much sob-fest dastardly Smiths stop following failed to grasp. Martin spits in his analysis of the worse - this is art. Quarter To Sleater'Kinney - A them home from school. If the The opener isn't as good as it geteas that Princess Di's clogg-popping brought Pan Sonic haven't made an album Three relatively unrevelatory Revelations is it happens, and although much of to town:Angel' is possibly the best track, that can be danced to, or even listened ( Matador) containing the razor sharp.and revealing. anything to go by. Martin has to do a RevelationsisVauxhall and /-era Morrissey to_This is an album to appreciate. its into the lot better than shave off his quiff to by numbers (with a dash ofViva Hate), this line. if your background steps very structure Is an open-ended As dose to perfection as guitar music exorcise himself of the omnipresent is no bad thing as comparisons go. foreground, they'll lock you away," question about what we mean by the will get this year. the glimmenng hire spectre of Steven Patrick Morrissey. Lurching Moz-like from the heart- SomethingTorry Blair has obviously term music Or some bullshit like that. of pop that always lays underneath although The opener (and current single) 'As wrenching paeans to lost love and considered too much. So.. Because unfortunately, this is pretty the band's riot grrl roots finally bursts might not turn water into GoodAs It Gets' cites the 'Blair And loneliness ('In Love Withh Love') to jaunty Revelations fucking dire. through irresistibly:A Quarter To Mandelson Show' for their crimes of little rockabilly numbers ('The British wine, lyrically it deserves a few listens. Three' is melancholic and reflective. a The entire album is dominated by colour blindness against the nation: Disease'), Gene even stop off to borrow In any case. any band that dares stand strange hums, bleeps and whirs and goi, de blast of guitar fused bliss:Burn 'When red became blue, hope denied/Our a latino trumpet solo from Madonna's up and be open. and more importantly sounds like Robbie the Robot on Don't Freeze' has twisting, angular dreams swept away with the tide."So it matador era on "Fill Her Up": ace. On intelligent about politics, is more than Quaaludes.The occasional abrasive guitar melodies accompanied by the seems that in an attempt to avoid this -The Looker", Martin reminds us again of welcome in an era of Ally McBeal-addled drumbeat pops up to add a slight soaring harmonies of Corin Tucker's album being dubbed the 'political that bequiffed and celibate Mancunian. in combat-clad youth apathy. It's funny that techno feel to the proceedings. No piercing vibrato and interweaved with disillusionment one' (not helped by case he'd slipped our minds for a combat trousers (surely a symbol of war, tune. no lyrics. no real pointAs far as Carrie Brownstein's cool, spiky Martin's penchant for appearing on nanosecond: '71iese are the last words 111 of action) have come to be the uniform minimalism goes its an unqualified backing vocals. Newsnight),Gene have labonously ever write"Martin yearns, perhaps of the student-come-yuppy, of a success. buried their references to New Labour, unaware that his alter-ego once sang "This generation more attuned to the But then this is not exactly Cartoon -Alcoholic Show CO the extent that only the ardent is the last song I will ever sing" on Bono intentionally mindless stuttering of Fatboy unexpected considering Pan Sonic's (Shine) listener would notice them. Still, subtlety Drag's 'Disappointed'. Slim, than the genuine protestations of pedigree. For starters they're Finnish. is a virtue when politics and music 'Love Won't Wait' would have the bands like Gene. Bring hack the Tooting The two core members Mika Vainio A gorgeous slab of shimmering, collide. a concept which fellow Reds, 'Santa-Diana' brigade in convulsions if Popular Front, I say. and IlpoVanaisen started Pan Sonic as infectious Welsh pop, wrapped up in Chumbawamba, have so spectacularly they heard it. "Canonise the stupid.." Anna Doble cheesy keyboards and served with a an offshoot of Art collective Sin O. Pas t lashing of melahcholia_Top marks collaborators include John Peel, Bjork, IMI Tenor's not a magpie. He's an the KLFs Jimmy Cauty and Alan Vega then. if just for the line "She asked me if I'd rake her home,she swore that J alchemist. MUSIC ALBUM of pioneering industrial punk group wed have vegetables" On his new album, Organism, pastiche Suicide. So they never were candidates to produce the perfect three-minute becomes more than simply an end in ORGANISM itself. For Tenor pastiche is the starting JimiTenor pop-song. Warp Songstress - See Line Woman point. ingredients to be mixed, chemicals Stephen Whitehead '99 to be synthesised in new compounds of (XL/Locked On) sound. imi Tenor casts spells. How else could he lift, wholesale, large chunks of LIVE Pop, pastiche and A strong club track which dares to other peoples' pop careers, slice them, be different by sampling jazz diva dice them. throw them together in a plasticity Indian THE Nina Simone, contorting her vocals seemingly arbitrary fashion and still re- COCKPIT into a skewed mass of swift scatting. emerge with something that sounds so between irony and artful conviction. His suite with a melancholy Miles Davis.'City Ropeman absolutely lucid and coherent and right? music is not at all organic. It's synthetic. Sleeps' closes with all the.self-absorbed The Donnas - Get You Alone JimiTenor is the beautiful Swedish Plasticity conditions every bar. every anxiety of restless rainy evenings; clammy (Lookout Records) boy who escaped the barren cell-sapping note. every word and detail. synths, thunderclaps and a mournful sax Sitar's, ski-goggles and dead end world of the factory floor and, Each track remolds old sounds: shifts, wailing from the far corner of some space invaders The Donnas kindergarten punk says through thick black plastic specs, beneath connects, re-shapes. Opener 'Total twilight tenement apartment. the odd, NO CO tedious country prog rock a Warhol-white sweep of fringe, fixed his immaculate melodrama of uneasy eaze- and screams YES! to motorbikes, Devastation' is a portentous mess of listening. NDIAN Ropeman made cheesy riffs and underage indulgence. disconcerting and sublime feline eyes on Hendrix, George Clinton and old-skool Organism is ecleticism with clear eyes. their Leed's debut with a A petulant bratty Ramones-esque a glistering pop dream-world of Prince Chicago house: Love And Work' is Dr cross-fusion becoming cross-pollination, bang - literally. It was a blast of old fashioned punk rock_ and Sly Stone and Stevie Wonder and Dre laminating Prince in G-Funk synths, I cacophony of kidney-shaking They're all called Donna,thelr average Grandmaster Flash. 'Sleep' is gorgeous horn-drenched space- discordant composites achieving the bass and drums punctuated age is fifteen and you wanna be in Jimi Tenor is all incongrulties.VVhich is age bachelor pad munque.'Xinotepe purity of primary colours.A new sort of with the periodic appearance their gang. Oh yeah!!! a good thing.ln his pale.frail voiceTenor's Heat' takes cues from Herbie Hancock's Swedish sorcery. of a large sitar. Space Invaders self-conscious Barry White love 80s electro-iazz,'My Mind' is 'Tusk'-era sounds regularly emitted from H2SO4 • Imitation Leather incantations straddle an invisible line Fleetwood Mac locked in a penthouse Oliver Craner one of those pieces of Jacket sophisticated hi-tech (Recon) ITH the rise of Marilyn equipment that look, to the Manson and countless teens MUSIC ALBUM average ignorant observer, like Hrrimm...'lmitation Leather jacket'? discovering the joys of black shiny black boxes with knobs More like fairly uninspiring imitation W make up, it must have been sorely on. of Lo-Fidelity All Stars if one were tempting for Siousxie Sious to ANIMA ANIMUS The bassist wore an ironic (or being truthful. Beats and bleeps The reunite the Banshees, in the hope of was it?) Status Quo T-Shirt with the abound.but unfortunately they don't Sioux being swept back to stardom by the order to 'Rock Till You Drop'. and a stop it from descending Into Creatures goth revival. pair of ski goggles askew on his boredom. To her credit though she's resisted forehead. In the corner of the stage the idea, opting instead to concentrate Goths, ghouls and stood an androgynous figure in a lab Lucky Pierre- Pierre's Final on her side project with husband Budgie. coat and an unfeasibly large pair of Thought geriatrics The Creatures.And from first listening wraparound sunglasses. who (Lucky) there's little to suggest she has any desire remained still throughout the other points though, the tendency is for to regain her celebrity status, as for the Allegedly the hushed lo-fi tunes to be obscured in an orgy of beats performance. Mystified? I was, and most part, Anima Anima is wholly arid see experimental side project of Arab and bleeps, with only Sioux's stunning was relieved to turn around uncommertial.The claustrophobic Strap's Aileen Moffat,'Sometimes I vocals holding rt all together other people scratching their heads. pounding of 'Disconnected' 'is worlds However, they were also moving Feel Like A Motherless Child' has a And that's where The Creatures main apart from the likes of 'Happy House', laid back shuffling slo-mo beat muted problem lies. In daring to be esoteric, to the music, and a respectable whilst the excellent '2nd Floor' is more of with a mournfully minimal piano and Ammo Animus becomes over-reliant on number were up at the front a spiritual cousin to Leftfield/Lydon's violin, on top of a devastatingly rhythms rather than tunes, and towards obeying the T-shirt.The sitar and 'Open Up' than to any eighties record. beautiful operatic simple 'Chloe' the end, less and less catches the ear: If flute input counter-balanced the There are. however. still shades of The uses the same sparse uneasy beat were a Banshees fan I might not be heavy bass perfectly, giving us a Banshees here, most notably on reverb with a distant warm acoustic wailing after hearing this record, but I choice of frenzied bouncing or laden Take Mine'. and at times Anima background. might well be thinking it's time to ditch gentle swaying. And what more Animus sounds as if a group of tribes- could we have wished for! the eyeliner. Emma Rowe and people have wandered into a Goth Rowan Collinson Rowan Collinson revival party.giving it a surreal twistAt Kate Jordan

JUICE 12-02-99 revieull

Books to BOOI< FICTION g amoramz BOOK FICTION Glamorama BRET Impotent GABY EASTON-ELLIS Watch HAUPTMANN Picador Man VIRAGO E14.99 E9.99 Out For Vain supermodel in 90s satire of the rich and stupid —..- Bridget Jones goes boom... One of Us Michael Marshall Smith ICTOR Ward is the 28 year- Harper Collins £6.99 old It Boy of NewYork.A vain, After a life of failure in all of life Impossibly stupid male model, departments, Hap Thompson has he believes his own hype to an finally fallen on his feet_VVell sort of Insane degree, annoying everyone He spends his if as a REM temp who he knows, and trying to get a part looks after people's dreams whilst they in Flatliners 11, His girlfriend, Chloe sleep. However disaster soon strikes is the flavour of the day model, when a client disappears. earning far more than he ever could. In between attempting to open a club he accepts a big bucks offer to find an ex-girlfriend, who is missing somewhere in Europe. whilst someone is going around impersonating him. Apparently it has taken Ellis eight years to write this. and considering his previous novel,Amencan Psycho is the most notorious novel of the 90s if not the last 50 years, he has had a _J lot to live up to. ARMEN Legg is the type Thankfully he has not lost his of girl who makes you touch. His faux-bland, dialogue heavy Bret / sick. She drives a BMW, prose is still as wonderful as ever, C has a really swanky job and oh bringing to life the vacuous souls of yeah is a long legged flame the New York and European model haired temptress who has men world to life_ Ellis has moved on in Easto n falling at her feet. (Well aren't his ume line away from American we all?) Psycho's viciously empty 80s milieu, Sick of the unwelcome advances into a mid-1990s lost, desperate Ellis/ of all of these men. Carmen places Soft landscape. an ad for a man whose mind will be For the first time Ellis employs a RupertThomson on higher things than seLThis plot. which gives strength to the the truth. Is the last half of the novel real Bloomsbury £6.99 means that he has to be impotent narrative drive.Away from the NYC or is it him projecting his desires, This book has lust come out in With the help of the strange old party scene,Ward is sucked into a paperback and has received rave An interesting point is that the lady who lives downstairs. Carmen world of Euro terrorism and gory reviews.The premise of this book is violence is not as disturbing as in sifts through all of her likely torture. American Psycho.This is fortunate, not basically the world of advertising taken candidates which inclOde a castle There is an incredible sense of because it makes to novel easier to that one step too far.When Jimmy Lyle owning baron and bald bloke with unease about the novel, as Ward - a Victor's realisation of his bisexuality - are masterminds the U.K Launch of an stomach, but means that the earlier a beard. genuine ingenue - mopes around on shadowed from the off, and Ellis' orange soft drink it tria:ers events navel's power is not diminished. In fact. She never fails to be impressed ships and Vespas, making a general hash 'trademark overload of trendy media Patrick Bateman turns up at one point that he never could have dreamed of by the amount of interesting of just about everything.The fact that players grate after a while. especially with funny stains on his lapels. Impotent men In the world willing Ellis has made such a fascinating book when he gets it wrong. Although it will not be as widely Cocaine to show her the high-life. that is narrated by an almost illiterate Not as sex and shopping as the tide known as his serial killer satire, Ellis has If only the reader could share Phil Strongman man-child is quite an achievement. suggests. the novel displays a scary created a spiky satire which is genuinely Carmen's enthusiasm as we are Abacus £6.99 There are faults with the novel. queasiness as Victor increasingly finds it dark and filled with dread. dragged from one strange Billed as making"anyone who has Minor character developments - such as difficult to distinguish his desires from Phil Hanlon encounter to the next then this lived the freelance life... regularly in book might not be quite so bad. ghastly recognition:' we see London at If you don't think this sounds both its most glamourous and ghastly. FTER reading a book like emotional honesty. bad. enough. the plot quickly Strongman's debut novel would appear BOOK FICTION Pandora, writing a novel of However, it does seem odd that degenerates into complete farce to be quite scary reading. Ayour own suddenly seems over the course of four hundred with kidnappings and dodgy things like an attractive idea, and an pages relatively little happens ANNE RICE galore. Pandora easy way to make a bit of cash beyond Rice's attempts to evoke the Despite all of this, Carmen still ARROW on the side. passion and pathos of Pandora's has time so drink loads of wine and £5.99 If this book is anything to go by. plight. Pandora does have ear loads of caviar and pizza (all of all the research that's necessary is immortality on her side though. this whilst still retaining a perfectly to set on a world tour of famous However, although she seems to flat stomach and perfect legs with Easy novel writing classes historical sites (which also just make the most of her superhuman no gym in sight), happen to serve as sundrenched. abilities to traverse space and time for idiots perhaps? This is supposedly an desirable holiday locations) such as in a flurry of purple gauze, black "international bestseller" that has Greece and Rome.You then name eyeshadow and dry ice, Pandora still been called among other things "a drop as many cultural and manages to end the book feeling as phenomenon" Well I don't really philosophical associations as you can lonely as she began it, and doomed know what CO call it, but it in order to give your story to lead a torrid existence for all certainly is not a "phenomenon.' credibility as well as make you loads eternity. How about a complete load of of money. You begin to wonder what the crap instead? Pandora is the latest in a series of point in her experiences have been, This is basically Mills and Boon Vampire novels by Anne Rice, the until you realise that all the book's romance coated in a thin veneer of 'Mystic Meg' of horror writing, In it, references to visual splendour, ritual nineties political correctness and it the eponymous heroine Is let loose slayings and chases through Roman does not work.The beginning is on a bloodthirsty but passionate market places stuffed with extras pretentious, the middle is rampage through history and wearing tunics might just have been unbelievable and the ending is ancient civilisation in tormented written to be noticed by a downright awful.The word "trashy" Circumnavigation pursuit of erstwhile vampire Hollywood producer who might just just does not quite cover It. Steve Lattimore boyfriend Marius. possibly turn it into a major This is the type of book that Phoenix E6.99 The horror genre is often unfairly blockbuster. you could read in a few hours but I This collection of short stories is derided for being populist, and Anne Anne Rice may not really have would urge you not to waste the set in the used car lots and trailer Rice obviously has a relish for been so opportunistic as CO write a time or the money on it, that is parks of the American West. Lattimore writing what she thinks is a no-holds screenplay thinly disguised as a unless you enjoy reading about is superb in the way in which he barred Gothic shocker. novel, but deciding whether or not "thundering pulses","firrn thighs" manages to turn aimless drifters into The twist here is that Pandora is Sharon Stone would be better than and gut wrenchingly soppy heroes who struggle for redemption in a killer who is uncomfortable with Demi Moore in the title role is romance . Please don't inflict an unforgiving world. ANNE IcE her evil. She's really quite a sensitive probably the most fun to be had in yourself or even your worst enemy A T I r. r,l IHr'gn,PIRr4 soul, and is quite likely to cry after reading this book. with this book because no-one Helen Morrissey snacking on an innocent victim's really deserves such torture. heart. Feminist vampires everywhere will be pleased that at last they have Paul Williams Helen Morrissey PANDORA been portrayed with depth and

hakespeare JUICE The boy lane good With a new film about his life on the big screen, the Bard is as popular as ever. JONATHON MARCIANO asks local expert Park Honan why

ROFESSOR Park Honana school of thought of course would have it critically acclaimed biography, that the work is Independent and should p'Shakespeare:A Life" comes at be cut off from the parent. But knowing a time of almost unprecedented the private man clarifies many details in excitement in the Shakespeare his plays and helps us to unearth the industry. Hot on the heels of roots of his creativity. popular new generation Over his lifetime Professor Honan has adaptations such as Romeo and read and seen Shakespeare's work Juliet, Shakespeare has been voted endlessly. He has read copious amounts personality of the millennium by of literature about him and probably Radio 4, and is taking cinemas written more_ So.l ask is he still capable around the world by storm by of being dazzled by a Shakespeare virtue of the box office sensation, production? "Oh yes:' he replies Shakespeare In Love. decisively"especially since productions So there could be no better time to are always newThe Leanardo de Caprio tackle the life of the Stratford genius version of Romeo and Juliet was good - head-on, with the man who is responsible except that I couldn't hear Mercurio's for writing his definitive biography. lines half the rimeThey're beautiful words Although Professor Honan, Emeritus and the actors should do them justice. Professor of English at the University of But I certainly don't mind helicopters on Leeds probably knows as much as anyone stage or fascist dress in Shakespeare on the planet about the Bard he is plays. instantly humble and invlting.We begin "Shakespeare was built for multiple with Professor Honan's own life arid interpretations. Even in his time experiences whilst teaching at Leeds Shakespeare's point of view was very University much that he supplied them with the "1 joined the School of English in 1984 play-books and the actors wrote the play. after teaching at Bimangham. I It is the actor's job to feel the part and tremendously enjoyed my time at Leeds bring it out in producuoraTake HenryV - University and I think in the Brotherton there the king could be seen as a boyish Library you have one of the very best Kenneth Brannagh.as cynical or seen as research libraries in the country. using rousing assurances of brotherhood "At times in face I left I should be on the one hand. but inside be saying'hell paying the university for the privilege of shit. I'm king get over there!' What is teaching post-graduates; it was divine and certain is that Shakespeare didn't want very stimulating. I eventually reaped the you to treat him with respect or bow benefits of undergraduate teaching, down your knees but preferred a broad though second years are more difficult - interpretation." BAR DING HIS TIME: Park Honan, Emeritus Professor of English at Leeds University

showing a total lack of pretensions in confirms riot only that Shakespeare acted genius . 'We identify with his work. putting himself down." in his plays but which characters he All that remains to be said then is why The autobiographic detail though played. are we still so intrigued with the life of a explored by Honan. which holds most "Shakespeare would have been an old man buried for over 380 years? Honan And he is a very intimate fascination for so many of us, concerns actor even in his 30s, which reflected the smiles."We identify with his work He Shakespeare's sexuality. His sonnets parts he cook Computer research now touches upon our character and companion, managing to (which according to Honan were kept shows that he would have played the circumstances.Shakespeare Is a very out of print until his mother died. so as roles of murder victims, such as the ghost intimate companion, managing to speak not to disturb her) clearly show of King Hamlet or Duncan and 80 year intimately to the heart - the ideal book speak to the heart' Shakespeare's great love for a beautiful old Adam in As You Like It He also liked for Desert Island discs.I also think he's young nobleman, the Earl of small roles so he could go and have a terribly enjoyable, very good at describing they're getting sophisticated by that time The overall picture Professor Honan Southarnpton.To read them one is dnnk off stage as early as possible." banality and a great poetTake the famous and one can't hoodwink them so easily" has gathered of Shakespeare the private astounded by homoerotic feelings and The new book also shows in fresh tragic moment when Romeo thinks Juliet He pauses for a moment when asked man is as self-effacing. sometimes sexual innuendoes towards the man.Yet detail that Shakespeare the man was well is dead before him and is poised to give about the problems of being a top despairing and loyal to the group"There what we must understand is that theirs acquainted with the violent crime and her one last kiss. His beautifully poetic lecturer at a university such as Leeds: are three examples of Shakespeare's was a homo-centric culture.There was a virtual bloodbaths that resonate through description of her lips as 'You the doors "There are two main problems for conversation and they all show him to be good deal of mate bonding without his great texts.A previous occupant of of breath' is a wonderful example of how university staff. Firstly having enough time sympathetic to people. He becomes sexuality being involved Shakespeare's Stratford house. New beautiful and penetrating Shakespeare for work and teaching. and secondly especially sympathetic to the outcast- Then it was more acceptable to show Place, poisoned and murdered his own can be." getting enough funding for research. one need only consider King Lear, Othello, love for a beautiful man. Ben Jonson daughter. Similarly, the man who later Asking which one should be prioritised is Macbeth or even Shylock_Shakespeare frequently refers to Shakespeare as 'my sold the house to Shakespeare was like asking a dying man whether he wants was also very conservative, eager to get beloved: It Is also highly unlikely that poisoned and killed by his son. It was bread Or water" Certainly the professor on with others and never showy. He was Shakespeare had an affair with against this background that a year or doesn't miss the university bureaucracy. driven or inspired by the desperation and Southampton because of the social gap two later that Shakespeare chose to "We had far too many committee pressure on him to write new plays. between the disreputable profession of poison the King in Hamlet meetings where nothing got done. Once "k is not hard to imagine: If I got a playwright and an Earl.We certainly ain't we sat discussing some statistics, which handful of students from Leeds and make any conclusions; all that is known is Y looking at his life we begin to were over ten years old.Ar times:' he pressurised them to start writing, I could that Shakespeare fathered three children. realise Shakespeare's state of mind adds half-senousty,"I think it would be a get something very good out of them, So while Shakespeare's acceptance as BFor instance although he had good idea CO have a dictator to just take Acting companies were always in a gay icon may have to wait a while already written Romeo and Juliet, it was charge. jeopardy: he didn't need to fall in love (Professor Honan by the way is as equally perhaps such stones of parricide or the "I enjoyed finding new things about his with Gwyneth Paltrow in order to be dismissive towards those who question death of his son that gave Shakespeare life The history makes the literature inspired.VVhat is remarkable is that Shakespeare's authorship of the plays the tools to write tragedy. It is the SIEAKESPF concrete. and by resurrecting the whole despite his genius,Shakespeare was so "without a shred of evidence") much authorship of these triumphs such as A 1.1F1- of Stratford, town records and so forth circumspect and humble. important new information has now Hamlet and King Lear, Professor Honan we can get a picture of the various "In his sonnets:. explains Honan, come out_ For instance intriguing new agrees that turned this provincial PARM. ist m- 3N influences on his life and work. One "Shakespeare reduces himself to dust. evidence unearthed by Professor Honan grammar school boy into a universal • Oxford University Press, £25

2-4

JUICE 12-02-99 kent They Kent be serious Kent are being primed to break the country whose music has inspired them from the outset. JAMES MCCARTHY tries not to mention Volvos, Abba or Him and almost succeeds

N THEIR Swedish among the material they listened to casuals in all the latest bottle-green homeland, Kent get equal during the writing of 'Isola'. a telling designer anoraks bragging and billing alongside The indicator of their uncontrivedness. whingeing about their odysseys from Cardigans and the likes of Kent (a boys' name in vogue in '70s the satellite town to Supernova heights? The Prodigy when they Sweden and a bizarre acquaintance of Grumbling about being poor and then the band, not a tribute to the Garden of Itour, but until the recent about being famous and suffering the England and official home of the'blue slings and arrows of outrageous release of their third album rinse') are altogether more akin to the hobnobbing (Have you seen Meg `Isola' (their first to be gritty Introspection of The Smiths or U2 Matthews' column? Cigarettes and recorded in English as well as than Blur or Radiohead's art school Alcohol to Catwalks and Arseholes in Swedish) they have been elbow-nudgings (notwithstanding a the time it takes to get Kate Moss to almost completely unknown passing resemblance of vocal styles with declare war on split ends. Go girl! Miu here. respect to Radiohead, admittedly). Miu? Moo, moo.lsay.You sheep.) I Hence their appearance at Smile in Which pretty much sums up the digress. the Harvey Milk Bar: hardly the most Kent live experience. Most of the songs Any road, it's this kind of cynical salubrious of venues with its carpet of are 'Isola' tracks and a number of the savoir-faire that Kent are, happily, bereft ground-rn cold chips and fag-butts assembled gam:red-up mis-shapes are of - and yet they're still never the coupled with mock-Industrial decor singing alonglf You Were Here' humourless prancers you'd have them dating from a time, it would appear, translates live with compelling down for They used to have big house when Carter the Unstoppable... were conviction;'747' would be another high parties and dance all night long to Abba: flavour of the month. Suffice to say you point if it didn't seem so interminably fact They like Depeche Mode (they anti-climactic and repetitive.'Before it all must have a sense of humour). For Behind the prerequisite rockstar aloofness lurks a group of refreshingly unpretentious friends from Swedish small-town hell

would need a hell of a lot of those Ends' is well-performed yet ultimately those of you who watch Eurotrash, 'double-vodka-for- l2p' offers to think unsatisfying, losing its mesmerising they do not do the dusting in the nude you were in Studio 54 in this indie studio-bound stillness,A shame, because or exhibit their stools. But if it's rock 'n' dungeon. this tincture of delirious, at times roll shenanigans you're after, listen up: Kent deserve better than this, delicious teenage sensations is one of they would like to unscrew the honestly. Under the slick marketing lob, the brassiest feathers in Kent's cap. a furniture in their hotel room one day behind the arty atmospheric poses on jarring hint at possibilities of and flat-pack it How kind of them to their inlay cards and the prerequisite transcending the lexicon of lazy pomp conform to preconceptions about rockstar aloofness, lurks a group of and self-justification that too many boys Swedish quirkiness. (And how facile of refreshingly unpretentious friends from with guitars fall into. me to ask whether they know of Ulrika Swedish small-town hell. Comparisons Still, it all begs the question, what Jonsson.They don't.) But the real issue of their album with Radiohead's 'OK purpose these albeit engaging is, of course, where does this leave Computer' genuinely seem to baffle histrionics in a pop climate where 'soul- televisions through windows, and the like? them; as they told me, they've been searching' has been hijacked by the "We threw a remote control out of steadily honing their art since the days Imbruglias and the Williamses...who still an open window once. But we went of Creep' and before - we just didn't wants '80s-style authentic indie anyway. and got it back the next morning." know about itWhen I mentioned that I that pale, twitching, beer-soaked They threw Kent at Britain one day. thought '747' bore more of a creature of the shadowy sixth-form Britain. a surly type, fixated on fashion. resemblance to early U2 they confirmed block. when you can have ex-soap stars was nonplussed. Sweden will get them the influence;'With or Without You' was in fleeces and a whole new breed of back in the morning. Our loss. GENEVA NEW YORK SAINT BAY CITY So DOLLS ETIENNE ROLLERS The electric incendiary missing link Named after the football team to be They weren't even glitter. oh the between lumpin' Jack Flash'-era precise, if we're splitting hairs (bottle- shome,They chose the name by Stones and The Sex Pistols? Glam- blonde ones in Sarah Crackers' case). putting a pin in a map of the US at punk proteges par excellence, spawn The definitive line-up came into being random, although their famous what's of that creative gay affair between when Sex got cheesed off with singing in tartan clothing was rather more butch NY and queer old dame, naff late '80s dance combo Lovecut DB shoddy and ill-conceived.The London town? Or lust cock-rock in (no.we haven't either) and invited Bob adulation they provoked would have Famous for being faceless. Geneva Is frocks smoking too many rocks? and Pete round to eat loads of pasta made Take That jealous: with song- renowned as an airport stop-off, Was the Avon lady responsible? and discuss a shared love of proto- titles like the legendary Shang-a-Lang in a Geneva are fabled for their support- Moreover. were they responsible for handbag, baby-doll kitsch and shimmery, and a dreadful TV show they make slots: a chance to go to the bar or the likes of These Animal Men, feathery, fluffy things in generai,like 911 look avant-garde in comparison. check out the dodgy discounted twenty years on? And were Slade a sleek, swinging sixties London Inspired such devotion that to this merchandise, Geneva never got swept lot better anyway? Who can say? hairstyles. baby. Dig, Daddy-o! 017:1 day 30-something estate agents up in the slipstream: the Easyjec Anyway, I prefer my brickies they're from Croydon. Remember Cola called Denise from Woking soil go Radiohead were expecting to fly but carrying hods, not handbags. Boy's 'Seven Ways to Love'? Bob and weak at the knees at the sight of big name? they missed the boat Or whatever. Pete mixed itVery bohemian. teeth, tartan and thatched hairstyles. ti

23

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You could try not pulling HANK goodness this year's Valentine's Day, without being • cheesy or cliched. avoiding the romantic day of sentimental mush falls restaurants and tacky clubs. toot on a Sunday. At least we Couples who normally spend T their weekends moaning about at Liquid is aValentine's night don't have to spend all day with a differencejumping on the • waiting for the post. worrying each other to their mates, now in love that American bandwagon, it is a that the card sent by our decide that they're so they have to spend every living swing club where the dancers will mysterious admirer has got lost by jumping and jiving rather than (we get Saturday and Monday to moment of the day and night stroking their beloved's handl pulling and puking. worry about that instead). But what if, horror of horrors. if you don't get a card on armf knee (delete as applicable). Fondling people are definitely you dare to be single on Saturday, spend the whole day Valentine's Day' Not only do you telling everyone it'll arrive on the worst.They're the ones who make you want to hide indoors have to watch your mates Monday. By Monday, everyone receiving cards, roses, dinner will be sick to the back teeth of and watch action movies or read about the life cycle of a slug. invitations etc., but you also get anything pink and fluffy, and no the sympathy of the nation. one will remember to ask you Becoming a hermit is not an Poor old you. Single on whether or not you received one. adequate anti-Valentine tactic. Finding your own Valentine is Valentine's.You have to watch all Valentine's Day is pants. if the slushy movies on TV, written you're going out with someone certainly a more proactive approach. especially for sad people staying you have to panic about being in alone.You have to read all the romantic enough, and if you're There are plenty of places to have a go. in addition to the romantic stories the newspapers single, you spend the whole day seem to store specifically for hiding from snogging couples. library, supermarket, gym and other normal pulling haunts, February 14. Don't bother buying any The main thing to avoid is flowers.They're far too expensive Valentine's throws up Its own your parents.There's nothing and as you can never guarantee special venues. worse that hearing your the standard of Interflora Both Vodka-sot and Coc-soc Mum telling you how flowers, just make your own are putting on Valentine's romantic it was -Thej.vakts paper ones or send a photo of extravaganzas.And there's no when your Dad flowers to your beloved. question what most people's Ptobabiy(88C1 the 9.30finn) decided to do a Programme There's nothing nicer than priorities will be at those events. feast Karl Kennedy receiving flowers for no reason at You won't even have to call romantic and relive murdering youraround- rover, Unless sleeping you like all. But when the flowers are only them again, which could be the someone else to avenge their first being sent because that's what greatest Valentine swiinniing i with date from n your you're meant to do, it loses some treat icy cok/ lover; or 1969_ lakes. of the charm. ever. Being told to be romantic drives me mad. It's impossible to actually be "Would you sleep with this rnan!" c earned the eadline._44) Robin (C4 0 original does a good line in red roses. See ifshergets voted8.00prn) Nost Fanciable Male in th, on

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crag% ...„41. dreams of IP 1 1-caro01-"StI wedding u:t fiance Vs.ettli.00 f body parts which Oakes Ws IS trsor .Girirat, there kS v.,. 00- Ct o bliss In this ultra- :le_olt litedeark troo tVieLovely, Pe But neve V, sAect's o .: viesre the:Le:or; iSti con„olled medical schoot deMoost Sthrfing, atcro a hook. so...to her head and sawing-oil relax.% rislUps to 0empahicWedded friend to ihe_ 9 ,_:,...9_.....,, ro fle let you c.ornerly.also t e aod e whitetate weddlog I k thoughts firmly 10-ck. to obliviovies_ d co instead,. prepare yourself for vart thoughts le_. tow owt. 0., reV‘dt°111r1 1 -Srr"Q-SdaslO■r ::::.i the counterert scene io Shoilow Grtwe .O0 VS3--cil11:4tlee thebe. de'atts:if'clk°14 3Atri Pstl Ws vat ttireugyi this of tante% two wooteri Me amble plot l' orn eavesortie the upliistag feroz 'oo -isan; in iOt are definite, in. line ultimatetodependerice to esc-Wst and fan Wea Songs for the duaapedi f % laws search See lackle Chan.Master of martial arts, in top go as he WOO and0 lov, c Ge%che VIV4r1 stvi co. 92rdatfrdi0e4, VIOL-boxing Movie...001N silly but at st slie lack ur, desperate and downright ensures that ronyance ls out and action and cheas? youriger ► versions. ?Att. never to be l5Y111-45Ci° e ,So sharpen your claws and demseveed tAr for tim needed turt'ner proof olt the dowriside of falling 2IDEA - Damned and Desolate uotni et read,/been for traded sothe in excellent by their revengehusbands Ideas, And ernember. don t get. angry, Burt Racharach: never jell in siaGloria"" Gaynor: I will survive alWays the best vat/ to get over s broken heart- tore again Renick's: Coyne out Snits yoladefeate, the three woroen decide s payback lust WilltriA have As if. Neil Young: only lone can kraals Cyndl Lauver Girls have A 1-091-05:Fle your heart fun anncl.t Ahba: Dancing Queen its Dead Kessnedys:Tme drank toe fiscir a° gut bad Stone Roses: l am the resurrection &et even. lnufaortser, tbe The Cramps: All names are vow.,V. The Smiths: Girlfriend in • coma Oasis: Cigarettes and Alcohol with Frank Sinatra: My Way ibis is41%0,0 one all the in Illtskscocks: Ever fallen in lave you of love. 'al samisen* you shouldn't haver Village People: YMCA sight of Brad Ray Orbisons Only the lonely knew Chem I Ateliers bed riecolit-1 how l }eel Aretka Franklin: Respect ,pill. Joy Division: Lave will tsar as Hoppers Wasted . apart Suede: Trash My Bloody Valentine: Suicide Slade: Venom feel eke noise Spiritualism,: Broken Heart Spice Girls: Spice up your Life Madonna: Lave don't live hare Chic: Geed Times nyraore

JUICE cupids choons I2-02-99

AZZLED by the varied MUSIC REVIEWS SLATES and wondrous world of - — D dance? Looking for the spark for Valentines eve? Or Goodies merely in search of a quick AVAILABLE FROM YOUR consumer fix? Whatever's LOCAL RECORD SHOP your bag, we have the releases that will encompass the lot from beats to bangs, What's in the swag bag waling females to seminal this week? french cuts. First up is the latest offering from the Global Underground series. These 'More signs of life'. BlueRoom are boys have seen the likes of Sasha. Paul renowned for their own brand of Oakenfold and Tony De Vit on their freaky techno, which uses the lower Hard House back catalogue and the present frequencies of Drum n' Bass release lives up to previous from. combined fat, chunky techno rhythms. UNTIDY DA This time it's Danny Tenaglia's turn to spin his special brand of Tribal Disposable Disco Dubs House in representation of his sets in HIS release continues what has ( Untidy Trax) Athens.What you get is a somewhat obviously become a winning slow tech-house workout which Trecipe.'More signs of life' draws The Untidy boys' latest incorporates lots of deep basslines together the finest talent available in the genre. with Silicon Attic, and collection would almost be more at and percussive workouts. Subtonal contributing. home in a porn flick rather than on a The second compilation CD on offer is the Limbo Live compilation 60 degrees North have provided dance floor That said, it does rather from the Tunnel club. This is a Breakthrough Volume I:Revelation. ounts, well or both c showcase for progressive grooves This is a well mixed collection of which are heavy on acid lines. funky breaks and phat beats, blended ARMIN Even though Steven McCreery has by Soul of Man,This album Includes Lost Soul Society to mix entirely out of the Limbo remixes of the Starsky and Hutch theme and Jim Hendrix of all people (Cyber Records) catalogue the mix still remains interesting and diverse. no mean feat and is a genuine break from the big when dealing with a label like Limbo beat formula. ...we Creator of the epic behemoth that has such a distinctive sound. Topping the freebies chart this 'Blue Fear'.Armin does it again with Last in my bag are three new vinyl week is Love Stimulation from another hand waving.ass-shaking, releases.The first two are from Paris Humate.This time around, it is world beating body breaker. Well based Catalogue Records which are 'presented' to you by Paul van Dyk. although it is still on Deviant done, lad. heavily chilled. Both the Avia and Sporto Kantes recordings. The blatant use of van EP's are built with an eye for the tune Dyk's name on the sleeve is clearly HEDONIX swirled with dubby house beats. designed to sell the tune rather than Sunstorm definitely worth a listen. to represent the facts which are that (Red n' Raw records) 1.25L up is Superfunk's Come Back one of the four remixes included is by EP on Fiat Lux which is a brilliant little the man of the moment. Still, it's a classic, and still holds its 'Sunstorm' is nor the pumping house number. Remixes include a working by Gym n' Tonic own among more modern dance attraction of this particular slate. star Bob Sinclair. runes. Other artists responsible for rather the B-side 'just a Groove In my goody bag this week, I found remixing are Oliver Lieb and Blank & Industrial, heavy. and seriously the races: Blueroom release CO Jones. original, this is a real spleen-buster.

ENERGY 52 MUSIC ALBUM MUSIC ALBUM Cafe Del Mar (Grand Casino Records) ' 4 4 11 Various REACTIVATE Various MUSIC WITH rrIrre •• c I3 NO NAME This Ibiza classic gets a couple of reworkings by Nalin & Kane and React VOL2 4 ' Hybrid_The N & K mix is top dog in Electric Melt * *P11-44..,. • .1, t. this particular kennel, but it can Power house mixed by Beaty doingz, ethnic ■ never replace the original - v e )r- .p John 00 Fleming vibes and all on one album PETE WARDMAN The Lizard Queen ITH each new Reactivate USIC with no name.The tide of ~1114111,0i" t4C-.1 (Tripoli Trax) release. React records are an extremely self confident album " W pushing the limits of what is tior one that is 100% pure dross. Hellfire Club, and Olmec Heads. acceptable in terms of series Fortunately for the compilers of this these are tracks that achieve the sunrise Come along now children. Cream classic 1998 by Binary Longevity. We. as consumers, are album they have managed to pull some feel without the aid of lavish helpings of we're going to have a little music Finarye). championed by Paul forced to question their motives; quality remixes out of the hatskillfully spanish guitar. Ethnic is the order of the Look now I'll start with the melody just who is gaining the most out of Oakenfold over the summer, rears dodging the dross banner. day and tribal singing is the sample of its head on the way towards a on the organ. Kick-Ass the whole deal? The answer, of Electric Melt have pulled together a choice.The drum and bass beats flow, thrilling climax featuring K90's course, is the record company, throng of remixers which will prick up intertwining with the bongo solos and By Nick Weight Fortunately. React have BombJack and 1-2-3-4 by Mrs. the ears of even the most undedicated of marimba rounds to create a showcase of Wood. continued their flagship series with beat head. Tunes are turned in from the laid back beats. Eclectic is not a word which an album of comparable quality to likes of Smith and Mighty, Red Snapper. So. what have we got? Is it worth springs to mind in conjunction with IN ASSOCIATION WITH the first. This time, they have Ashley Beadle. Gus Gus and Bandulu and your hard earned wodge? Are eleven this album, limited as it is to recruited the services of John '00' none of them put in a bad performance. tracks enough? These are all questions progressive house and trance.This is Fleming who fits snugly into the role The curtains open to Endemic Voids that I know will confront you when you no profound musical statement. It is vacated by Blu Peter last year. rernix of Banana Jam by Airco Moreira approach the till with said CD in hand. nothing other than four CO The album starts gently easing the floor which sets the scene dramatically if Rest assured, however, that the music is and uplifting melodies. The thing is, COS you into the build-up with a high nothing else.What follows. however, are of a quality that will leave you in doubt as records class tune from Aquaplex. this time it's still good. For React records. 13 a set of quality tunes that take you on a to its worth, more than eleven would be is certainly not an unlucky number. writing with Junk Project to bring journey that lies heavily on the side of greedy and that you will undoubtedly be 35 The beadrow Leeds one you Brightness.Then follows an the chill outThis is not another one of getting value for money. awesome run through Skylab,The your Ibiza on the beach sunrise jobs, CHARACTER -01 2 central road, leads /near corn exchange, underneath asfam)

26

Edited by Andy Kelk and Chinny Li Loved up for the next seven days

• • • • • • • • • • Fa • Ilig in ove •

Which celebs would make it on Blind Pate? FILM The Last Seduction Sunday NAVEED RAJA and JO HANCOCK investigate C4 9.00pm Number 2 Number I Number 3 • • What's your • What's your What's your name and What's your • name and where do you name and where name

Tara chose Prince Will due to his both of Will's arms on him being 'fun' activities, such as cleaning faeces, Family tradition scandal is around • money. background and promise picked. After extensive surgery Will is on her own. the corner as she sleeps with his of holidays galore. However the of no use on the picked holiday of pig- After that experience she dad who promptly dumps Camilla date gets off to a bad start farming in Somerset. considers Will CO be far from marriage for her, with the world soon hailing because Grant ripped off This means Tara has to do all the material, although in the best Royal Queen Tara.

Number I Number 2 Number 3

What's your Hello, Chuck, What's your What's your COMEDY me what's your name and name and name and Red DwarfVIII where do you name and where where do you where do you come from? Hi, I'm do you come come from? Patsy come from? Agent Thursday calledTony and I come from? Hello from Absolutely Scully, FBI. • BBC2 Bianca and I'm from the Fabulous, Sweetie. • 9 00pm from Men Behaving Badly East End. Answer I:My ideal idea of a dream date Answer I: Hey sweetie, why not cut agenda would promote mystery. • Question 1:My Answer I:That sounds OK to me out the meal (the Ritz is the only intrigue and mental expansion: Science • is a trip to McDonalds,followed by Tone? But I'd 'ave to bring the baby. place to dine, darling,) and Museum 08:00 hrs, Stonehenge 17:00 • karaoke at the local pub,and then a bit • fiat.What's your entertainment (Harvey Nicks, of hrs, laboratory experiments 21:00 hrs. of rumpy back at my • Answer 2: That b'Werd Grant has course). and get straight down to the • ideal date? put me off pubs for life, and what with rumpy? Answer 2:1 don't drink I like to be in • looking for a girl who the baby I don't dnnk much anymore, total control of any situation.Trust • Question 2:I'm sh_ lager's my but I'd 'ave to say a cheap bottled Answer 2: Absolutely anything, nobody,Tony • can drink like a fi wine from the cornershop.You don't sweetie! • favourite drink what's yours? need to spend much to score. darlinl Answer 3: Working with dead • - • I'm a bit of a breasts-and Answer 3: It's hard to choose my bodies. I see a lot of strange body • Question 3: what I Answer 3: My long fiery-red hair will best physical asset, sweetie, from this parts. But there is nothing stranger bottom man (er, I mean, that's • get you goin',Tony.lr ain't true that I've perfect body. Bur, if there's anything than the way my sexy lips are always look for in the ladiest.)What's your • got a temper to match. IT AIN'T • you don't like, a bit of plastic and perfectly-pencilled and ruby red • best physical feature? TRUE,ALR1GHT? liposuction will fix it, darling. Mysterious. • • AWARDS • The Brits 1999 Tony picked Patsy because her was old enough to be his mother. he hair,and became very irritable - alcohol Needless to say.they have not • Wednesday answers conjured up images of a began to regret his choice. withdrawal. seen each other since. although have IN babe who loved drink and sex. They picked a date to Alton Towers. Tony did enjoy himself on all the both agreed that they would be up 8 00pm However, when the screen went A disaster, as Patsy would not go on any rides, but he was sick after stuffing for a one-night stand if they were • 0 back and Tony realised that his date of the rides for fear of messing up her himself with burgers and chips. desperate in the future. MI IN MIEN III MI NIM IM MI MI MINIM THIS WEEK'S CINEMA LISTINGS FOLLOW THE TV SECTION IN MINIM III

27 friday Ebruary 12

LtI1JSU AMERICAN imports altered they have got American and features the lives of a Scot Into &Alm mono to suit British tastes are not producer team Carsey group of teenage friends and 030,0 AO. I Opm.lani Days Like a new idea. Werner (the names behind their parents. Remember the Brighton hits such as Roseanne, The The problem is that this Cockpit Belles, a very poor version of Cosby Show and 3rd Rock show continues in the grand &Own awl , These Room k 0.0% pop meets new music the Golden Girls? Or do you From the Sun) to produce a tradition of Briticised US Room 2:601. sag Ft&B,freak boat recall The Upper Hand. based British version of their US imports - it's not funny. LS I Ipm•eam IITY On US hit Who's the Boss? hit That Seventies Show. The humour doesn't ITV have now taken the This version transplants work and it just makes me Oath° Cattho 8.30 form to a logical conclusion, the action to 1970s Luton cringe. Shame. Hip Hoptunk & ,tart (3_C4 NUS. lOpm-2nm B Elbow Rooms NE TWO Cto O tp ,f-r, SAO The Pink Panther; 5.50 The 6.00 5 News And Sport 7.00 NMO 6.00 Business Breakfast. 7.00 6.10 Global Media: 7.00 Hairy 6.00 GMTV; 9.25 Trisha: 10.30 UrR BBC Breakfast News: 9.00 Jeremy. 7.06 Teletubbies; 7.30 This Morning: 1220 Calendar Magic Roundabout: 5.55 WirieWorld; 7.30 Militchakel; rir C 4 rtsk.CeMpal Kilroy: 9.45 The Vanessa Show: Snorks: 7.55 Short Change. 8.20 News' Weather. 12.30 ITN Sesame Street; 7.00 The Big 7.35 Wimare's House. 8.00 NOS C5 ail ottiti-Sb4 I I .' L6tN 10.55 News. Regional News: Taz•Mania: 8.40 Polka Dui Lunchtime News: Weather, 1.00 Breakfast; 9.00 Schools; 11.30 Havakazoo: 8.30 Dappledown r.30r L7 ices II:Wpm-1o* Weather, 11.00 Real Rooms; Shorts, 8.50 Johnson And Home And Away; 1.25 The Jerry Powerhouse, 12.00 Sesame Farm; 9.00 Mixing It 9.30 The Opran Winlrey Show 10.20 Fruit Cupboard 1110 Can't Cook, Won't Cook: Friends, 9.00 Story Time: 9.10 Springer Show: 2.10 Emmerdate; Street: 12.30 Bewitched; 1.00 FRRO Neu 11.55 News: Regional News: See You. See Me, 9.30 2.45 Dale's Supermarket Sweep: Pet Rescue; 1.30 The Ocean Sunset Beach. 11.10 Leez,a, 7-0a 4 80s tlitco eeytt Weather, 12.00 Call My Bluff. Numbettime. 9.45 Come Outside, 3.15 ITN News Headlines; 3.20 World Of John Stoneman: 1.55 12.00 5 News At Noon: 12.30 .f.6.S4 to CA funds' custreern 12,30 Wipeout: 12.55 The 10.00 Tetetubbies; 10.30 Calendar News Headlines: 3.25 Earthscape, 2.05 FILM: Family Affairs; 1.00 The Bold ,. I e 1Cpe4tre EA &nip Weather Show: 1.00 One Megamathe: 10.50 Look And Mapatop's Shop; 3.35 Background To Danger (1943); And The Beaullful, 1,30 The Monet Earth O'Clock News: Weather: 1.30 Read: 11.10 Landmarks; 11.30 Timbuctoo; 3.40 Animal Stones, 3.30 Collectors' Lot; 4.00 Fifteen Roseanne Show; 2.00 100,.- Mite; Regional News: Weather, 1.40 The English File: 12.00 Scene: 3.50 Adam's Family Tree: 4.15 To One; 4.30 Countdown; 4.55 Gold; 2.30 Good Afternoon: 3.30 it get llternoverdeL Neighbours; 2,05 Ironside; 2.55 Loved Up; 12.10 English File - In Gladiators: Train 2 Win; 4.45 Ricks Lake, 5.30 Pet Rescue FILM-. Earth Angel (1990); 5.20 65.99,k4 99 NUStisteet 930pm• Body Spies: 3.25 Playdays. 3.45 Context: 12.30 Working Lunch: Comin' Atcha; 5.10 Home And 6.00 TFI Friday Sunset Beach Spider: 3.50 Smart On The 1.00 Johnson And Friends 1.10 Away; 5.40 ITN Early Evening 7.00 Channel 4 News: 6.00 100% Road. 4.05 Rugrals; 4.30 L And The Travel Hour: 2.10 Snooker; News: Weather Weather 6.30 Family Affairs. Nick's ITenTek K. 4.55 Newsround Extra. 5.10 5.10 International Cricket 5.55 Calendar 7.55 The Millennial relationship with Pam Upettiqe anthem fat 143 Blue Peter. 5.35 Neighbours 8.00 The Slmpeons 6.30 Tonight Miniatures detenorates. CS, r lembent b4 I 1 pm LI atter 7.00 Bruce Forsyth's Play 8.00 The Lost Gardens Cl 10.30 • 2 6.00 Six O'Clock News: 6.25 Robot Wars 7.00 5 News: First On Five Weather 6.55 Snooker. Coverage of the Your Cards Right Heligan. In the last 7.30 Malaysian Jungle. A look Town and Country Club 6.30 Look North fourth quarter-final in the 7.30 Coronation Street. Martin programme in the series. at the Asian elephant and taw True: 7.00 Celebrity Ready, Steady, Benson and Hedges is furious with Audrey, and Tim Smith and John Willis its role in Jungle rife. ▪ ortgo.-.170t duo night Cook. Willie Carson and Masters Roy accuses Haytey of explore and renovate the 8.00 Was It Good For You? a 9101)+r...tan, Oz Clarke join chefs 7.30 Country House. Lady not trusting him. Lost Valley. Ailsa Greenhalgh is in Ritzy Ainsley Harriot and Lesley Tavlstock insists that her 8.00 Airline. Documentary 8.30 Brookside. This Portugars Algarve. where 4S'IP Waters. husband should go on a senes attempts to get close to two different groups are Datsee 7.30 Top 01 The Pops. This strict diet. 8,30 Days Like These. Sitcom Kelly prove to be visiting Villamoura. b4 51pol. i4 Axe 8.00 Trust Me, I'm A Doctor. set in 1970s Luton. Eric intoxicating_ And Mike may 8.30 Pig At The Ritz. Grunty 10pro•am week's best-selling singles This programme and Donna are learning have convinced Megan to the pig eats at The Ritz. Club Union 8.00 Ground Force. two ciays investigates the treatment that playing the game may keep Ron's secret. 9.00 FILM: Victim Of Love SPee area The team transform the of bowel cancer in Britain. not be more important 9.00 Friends. Monica makes a (1990). Erotic Itintler Dance mire front garden of a chef who 8.30 Garden Stories. A than winning or losing. dozen meat lasagnes for about a psychiatrist who b4 1 t 10 4 1514 coot works on a nuclear Yorkshirernon explains why 9.00 Britain's Worst Drivers. her aunt who wanted finds herself falling for a ur>tvund submarine, his family decided to bury Including a man who has vegetarian ones, so has to handsome widower, only Trw 8.30 Birds Of A Feather. his wile in the garden_ been convicted of more find recipients for them. to discover that he is also • co‘, 4tstrs.7.2ro Tracey is happy because 9.00 Gimme Gimme Gimme. than 150 motoring 9.30 Boyz Unlimited. The seeing one of her most after seven years. Darryl Linda appears on an offences. Boyz visit Abbey Road dangerously unstable ThinklTank .1 opt is due for release. episode of The Terry 10.00 News At Ten: Weather studios - in Chelmsford_ patients. Starring Pierce Once "n• bass, uhdatgroond wage 9.00 Nine O'Clock News: Clinger Show 10.30 Calendar News: Weather 10.00 Frasier. Frasier Brosnan, JoBeth Williams L7. (6 NUS. leprn • larr. Regional News: Weather 9.30 Never Mind The 10.40 FILM: Stir Crazy (1980). mistakenly believes he is and Virginia Madsen. 9.30 Parkinson. Michael Buzzcocics. Comedy pop Manic comedy in which the obiect of a secret 10.40 Poltergeist - The Mire quiz with guests Simon Le two losers from New York, admirer while he is dating Legacy. Nick and Rachel A break horn tit /Runt Parkinson interviews Julie House. LE, lOgan • Ian Walters and Dame Thora Bon. Karen Poole. Ian heading for a better life in an attractive new woman. get trapped in a town that Hird. Dury and Kathy Burke. California, are wrongly' 10.30 So Graham Norton. exists for only three Wane/tome 10.25 ALM: White Mischief 1D.00 The Young Ones. convicted of a bank Graham Norton reveals all every 50 years. Omit:, Onto (1988). Elegantly sensual Scumbag College meets robbery and given 120- about himself. his celebrity 11.40 FILM: ItreeistableF14■ Be Not. 0 B.Hip Hop tf3 Members/ L6 NM' £7. 10-4. tate about a group of Footlights College In a TV year pit terms. Starring guests and his audience. Impulse (1995). Erotic British aristocrats living in quiz show. Gene Wilder and Richard 11.10 King 01 The Hill thriller about a hot-snot Fenton Kenya's Happy Valley 10.30 NewsnIght. With David Pryor. 11.40 TFI Friday real estate agent who tails Freeform during the Second World Aaranovitch. 12.40 FILM: Indecency (1992). 12.45 The Flu Paul Show for a wealthy widow. 1.15 Late Toon irlah Centre War. Stamng Charles 11.15 Snooker. Highlights of the Crime thriller about two Starring Doug Jeffrey and Sias from The Carnmionen0 Dance and Joss Ackland. last two quarter-finals. workmates whose liveS 1.25 The Mod Squad Lee Ann Beaman. 12.10 The Stand-Up Show 11.55 Siding. Highlights of the are plunged into chaos 2.25 Vids 1.45 FILM: Dark Secrets Duchess, offork 12.40 The Big End. This men's and women's giant when one of their 3.00 FILM: And Then There (1995). Haunting tale %same. R,i.d Namoin &Welfare programme includes a slalom. colleagues is killed, Were None (1965). starring Anthony Michael Wesetbelehire PlayNaute visit to the Church of 12.45 Later With Jools Holland. Starring Jennifer Beals. Agatha Chnstes classic Halt and Justine Bateman, htomo Greif,: S Tht Temtett Elvis. Featuring Spiritualized and 2.20 Box Office America thriller starring Hugh 3.25 FILM: Stagecoach To 1.10 FILM: Slaughter Of Bernard Butler 2.45 Seaquest 2032 O'Brien. Dancers' Rock (1962). Grand Theatre Innocents (1993). Fast- 1.45 FILM: The House Of 3.35 The Haunted Fishtank 4.30 FILM: Music Hath Drama starring Warren Ala do paced thriller starring Blackmail (1953). Thriller 4.05 Trisha Charms (1935). Vintage Stevens. UJU Raven Theatre Scott Glenn. starring Mary Germaine. 5.00 ITV Nightscreen British comedy-musical 4.40 Prisoner: Cell Block H One Wcy Pendulum 2.50 BBC News 24 3.00 BBC Learning Zone 5.30 ITN Morning News starring WH Beny 5.30 100% CORNWALL SOLAR ECLIPSE CAMPING OFFER Leeds University Student Being extensively advertised in Universities throughout England and Wales. and especially catering for Students. 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, saturday fEbruary 13

LEEDS's West Indian Centre which is a little out of the nights that pulls in the best. Mint Bock so Bows is developing quite a way but well worth visiting. Underground techno has Dr, Ralph & James HoIroyd reputation as a place to go Tonight, Oblong • a collective never had such a high time rnembers 10prrelarti and catch the cream of the more used to organising gigs and tonight is an opportunity Think/ Tank city's amateur techno than dub nights put on a full to catch some of the best Oblong Automatic talents. on feast of top techno tricks. names around in one place. ereeee nod indie (.6. a NUS. With nights like With DJs from plenty of And, of course, if you do @ West Indian I Opmlam Formation and SidFox, there different backgrounds miss it tonight, make sure Club Uropa seems no stopping the (Templehead and others) the West Indian Centre is on Aar Giant night for over Ms. popularity of this venue this will be one of those your list. Centre (6. (4 members. i Oprre•larn LMIUSU caw ,* Notre 'Ws classics/dance (.250 NUS. ONE T WO £4_SO VIM I dom./an Ritzy 7.00 The Monsters. 7.25 News 6.10 Open University. Everybody s tavourite dame hits. 8.00 6.00 GMTV: 9.25 SMTV Live. 5.35 The Legend Of White Fang; 6.00 Dappleclown Farm; 6.30 £S.(4 8.4 I I lapin I Opm-2 30arn Weather, 7.30 Fireman Sam. Weekend 24. 9.00 Personal 11.30 CD:UK, 12.30 Dinosaurs: 6.00 Sesame Street; 7.00 Bush Havakazoo: 7.00 5 News And 7.40 Little Monsters. 7.50 The Passions: 9.15 Open Saturday; 1.00 ITN News: Weather, 1.05 Tales, 7.05 Box Full Of Stories; Sport; 7.30 Milkshake!, 7.35 Elbow Rooms Dom Bean Incredible Hulk; 8.15 Hero 10.35 CyberAn 10.40 See Calendar News: Weather. 1.10 7.25 Animal Alphabet; 7.30 Pippi Wimzie's House: 8.00 Lassie, Soulful house with lezWgin Turtles - The Next Mutation: Head; 11.25 The Sky At Night: On The Ball; 1.45 NBA Longstocking: 8.00 Transworld 8.30 Wishbone; 9.00 Land Of Ten 8.35 The Fllntstones. 9.00 Live 11.45 The Car's The Star, 12.05 Basketball; 2.20 FILM: Carry On Sport: 9.00 The Morning Line; The Lost: 9.30 Kablane: 10.00 01. i I pm-4am And Kicking; 12.10 News: Food And Drink; 12.35 FILM: One Spying (1964); 3.45 Early 10.00 Inside Rugby With Thierry Loggerheads; 10.30 The Uguld Weather; 12.15 Grandstand; Of Our Aircraft Is Missing (1942): Edition, 4.45 ITN News: Results: 11.00 Lacroix; Gazzetta Football Wonder Years; 11.00 The Pepsi Rumba Bombs funky., 5.40 News: Weather; 5.50 2.15 FILM: Mosquito Squadron Weather: 5.05 Calendar News: Italia: 12.00 Boardstupid Goes Chart: 11.30 Footy Shorts. 11.45 Funk soul and rare groove Regional News: Weather (1968). 3.40 Bitesize Britain, 3.50 Weather; 5.10 Goals Extra Skiing; 12.30 High 5, 1.00 FILM Beverly Hills 90210, 12.40 C', free b4 10pm 9titre2arn 5.55 Big Break. Jim Davidson One Man And His Dog; 4.20 5.25 The World's Worst Land 01 The Pharaohs (1955), Singled Out: 1.05 Bang Liberty; Afterdark Club hosts the gameshow with Space 1999 Drivers. Some of the 3.00 Channel 4 Racing 1.30 RAD; 1.50 5 News -, 2.00 Orbit Techno.E10 sprTh..2mn guest snooker stars Ken 5.10 Snooker. David Vine strangest motonng 5.05 Brookside Omnibus. Sportsweek On 5. 3.30 Sunset Doherty, Nick Pearce and introduces highlights of the incidents recorded on Nikki reveals the identity of Beach; 5.55 5 News And Sport Planet Earth David Roe first semelinal at the video - including a woman the rapist. But has she got 6.00 Hercules: The Saturday Net Freer Gel Your Act Together. Benson And Hedges driving her car into a the nght man? 7th vrtdi Star sky & Him Bear 6.25 Legendary Journeys. tit free 54I Opm 9prn-230am Competing for a place in Masters from Wembley street full of we! cement 6.30 Channel 4 News: When Hera attacks his the grand final are Yvonne Conference Centre. 6.10 Don't Try Thls At Home. Weather family, Hercules seeks Pixlestyk Tipping from Glasgow and 6.55 News: Sport: Weather Devine McCall presents 7.00 Right To Reply vengeance. Sol* Malts due Jim Birmingham from 7.10 Correspondent. Julian the show in which ordinary 7.25 The Spying Game. House & club anthems 204 1.6. 6.55 Night Fever. Suggs hosts member: a b4 lia after. 10.1 Portsmouth and Phil O'Haliaran reports from people are invited to take Tonight's episode focuses the karaoke entertainment Anthony from Coventry. Alaska on the changes up unusual challenges. on every spy network's show Katie Pucknk, Anna Town and Country Club 6.55 Noel's House Party. Noel affecting the region and its 7.10 Blind Date. Cilia Black most indispensable piece Ryder Richardson and Sorted for Saturday Edmonds hosts more inhabitants. plays matchmaker to 801•90s charc dance and Indie of equipment. the radio Tony Blackburn are (6. CS members lOpm-130am unpredictable 7.55 What The Papers Say. A couples hoping to get transmitter. among the guests. Music entertainment live from look back at the events of lucky in love. 7.55 Station X comes from Lenny Beige The Warehouse the House of Fun. the week as reported in the 8.10 Family Fortunes. The 8.55 FILM: A Bridge Too Far and Leo Sayer speck, Queen Gayittraieht..1 I (Lee Mbr. III-4 7.40 The National Lottery press. Canham family tram (1977). Richard 7.45 5 News And Sport Draw. Date Winton 8.05 The Cold War. This Nottinghamshire play the Attentxxough's epic 8.05 C.16. American drama Fruit C introduces music from programme looks at Preston family from dramatisation of the Allies' series about a Los Solar Did & Amk Telford. doomed Amhem operation Angeles based FBI unit to Cafe Junction sustcowrs b4 Er Witched. Barenaked America in the 1960s, the 10.30pm. I 030pre-2arn Ladies and Elton John. decade of student 8.40 ITN News: Weather In 1944 when a massive and the crimes they rave Plus tonight's draw demonstrations, radvaltsm 8.55 Inspector Morse. Murder parachute drop was to solve Cockpit The Calor Casualty. JoSh and and a sea-change in mystery Morse and Lewis undertaken with a series of 9.00 FILM: Honor Thy Father 8.05 Indic S illurnarms. £5. 1 torn-bm Penny battle to save the American society. face a language barrier on bndges the target A star- And Mother (1994). True- life of a young runaway 8.55 Snooker. David Vine their latest case With studded cast Includes Dirk Ille drama based on the Nato trapped in a collapsed Introduces extensive John Thaw. Bogarde. Sean Cannery story of brothers Erik and Parkerreer Dance LS b4 building And Sean and coverage of the second 10.55 FILM: Dying Young and Robert Redford. Lyle Menendez who. in bA 1/, Cfl after 10-4. Tina's relationship veers semi-final of the Benson (1991). Melodramatic love 12.10 Sex And The City. one of America's most notonous trials, stood Faversham closer to the rocks. And Hedges Masters story in wnich a Another chance to see lest Flf9 Hip Hop. CS. L3 NUS.9.1 8.55 Sunburn. Alan ends up in 10,35 Why Stephen? A Black directionless young week's episode_ accused of murdering trouble with the law when Britain Special Report. woman becomes nurse to 12.45 Exploltica: Hollywood their parents in cold Underground he tries to assert himself. Veteran broadcaster a 28-year-old man who is Expose. This week it's blood. Starring Billy YordbOd Suite_ Ian 9pm-- 230am. 9.45 Kiss Me Kate. Kate has Charles Wheeler examines eying of leukaemia. Hollywood's turn to gel the Warlock and David Beron two weeks leave coming why the Stephen Lawrence Starring Julia Roberts, Exploilica treatment as we 10.50 FILM: Life4orce (1983). LUU Harvey Milk Sra up, so the others put their murder has touched a Campbell Scott and take a hilarious prowl Bizarre sci-fi horror yarn Adooe:intlp Spectal minds to finding her the nerve with the Bntish Vincent D'Onofrio. through the sleaze ndden in which vampires from & Per Sounds public. 12.55 A Million Love Songs. A streets of Tinsellown to outer space are brought perfect holiday. Duchess 10.15 News: Weather. 11.15 III Ruled The World. Valentine's Night music give you lassie tossing to Earth by an Anglo- The Hamsters 10.35 Match Of The Dey. Clive Anderson hosts the special of non-stop new totty pool side orgies and Amencan mission that Highlights of the FA cup satirical quiz show, with and vintage love songs. dog-eat-dog studio life. discovers the alien beings Fenton fifth-round guests Rebecca Front and Featuring Madness, 1.15 Valentoons aboard a strange craft. Maim Boyzone and Aerosmith. 1.50 Women In Pyjamas. A Starring Steve Railshack. 11.45 FILM: In The Company Tony Hawks. Cockpit Of Darkness (1992). 11.45 Skiing. Highlights of the 1.55 FILM: Boy Meets Girl quirky tour of the minds of 1.00 FILM; Hotline (1982). Get nee Thriller about an women's slalom. (1993). Engaging drama two women. Thriller starring Lynda inexperienced 12.35 FILM: Death Of A starring Jasmine Guy 220 FILM: Starlet (1969). The Carter and Steve Forrest. WestYorkshlre Playhouse policewoman who goes Gunfighter (1969). 3.35 Pop Down The Pub. innemiost workingt of the 2.50 FILM: Road Agent Moron Goole & net ripest Western adventure starring Valentine's night special of adult motion picture (1941). Vintage western undercover to befriend a GrandTheatre suspected serial kilter. Richard Widmark. Lena the pop quiz. ied are lavishly starring Dick Foran_ Radar, Stamng Helen Hunt Home and John Saxon. 4,05 CD UK revealed 3.50 Riptide 1.15 Top Of The Pops 2.10 Close 5.00 ITV Nightscreen 4.15 Hill Street Blues 4.40 Prisoner: Cell Block H LUU Raven Theatre 1.45 BBC News 24 3.00 BBC Learning Zone 5.30 ITN Morning News 5.10 Pearl 5.30 Wowfabgroovy One Way Pcndukeri

WITH SPECIAL GUEST WITH SPECIAL GUEST

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29 sunday fEbruary 14 J1-

Le Pfionographlque CLUBBING on a Sunday has Sunday - of all nights • room in your glad rags (or Sanaa, alb never quite tickled my fancy - festering in front of the telly, not), hanging on to your Garb. Irclumul & Tedeo no matter how many big try swinging around the authentic Martini cocktail, ham- I I pm names come to town or how comfy surrounds of Liquid Jiving with the beautiful Faversham funky the tunes are, it takes with a whole room full of blonde you met atAl Buzzit's Lazy Sentry something special to rouse new and attractive friends! free dance class at the start Solday paters. board gums. me from my Special Sunday Zoot brings American of the night. service anti a km ZOOt Slumber. swing to Leeds, yet another Jazz, swing, soul, funk, fun, Free I Zrin-10.30orn But if you don't fancy (no innovation in our music drink. Liquid. Zoos. Gutted if Underground © Liquid pun intended) spending this scene. Stomp around the you've got a date. Sunday Joni Free entry all de, I Apra bctepOarall food washed DDD CORI down wrth fal7- a- tOpm tree ewe ONE TWO 4 1 Elbow Rooms /sly, 6.40 Teletuboes; 7.20 Match 01 6.05 Open University. 7.25 6.00 GMTV. 8.00 Diggit: 9.25 5.45 The Adventures Oi 6.00 Wildlife SOS: 6.30 Pool and food 5 buys or-e hour of The Day: 8.30 Breakfast With Information Superhighway; 8.15 Art Attack. 9.50 The Worst Hyperman; 6.10 Bill And Ted's Havakazoo; 7.00 Dappledown pool end a n LSH Oil play the Excellent Adventures: 6.35 Dog Farm, 7.30 Milkshake': 7.35 tunes. Frost 9.30 The Heaven And The French Experience: 8.30 Witch, 10.20 Oggy And The Midday • 10 30fan Earth Show; 10.30 Porridge. Little Mouse On The Prairie; 8.50 Cockroaches: 10.30 Sunday City: 7.00 The Magic WIrrizieS House, 8.00 The - - - ------11.00 Match 01 Their Day; 11.30 Alvin And The Chipmunks, 9.15 Morning: 11.30 My Favourite Roundabout. 7.05 Animal Mission: 8.30 The Revelation Fenton CountryFile; 12.00 On The The Wayne Manifesto. 9.40 The Hymns; 12,00 Trawler. 12.25 Alphabet: 720 Salty's Game: 9.00 Stickel' Around: 9.30 RetOarn. X Record, 1.00 EastEnders. 2.25 Wild House: 10.05 No Sweat; Calendar News: 12.30 ITN Lighthouse: 7.45 Bug Alert: Milkbar: 10.00 Mirror, Mirror: Columbo. 335 The Variety Club 10.30 Grange Hill, 11.00 Charlie News: Weather. 12.40 Jonathan 8.15 Saved By The Bell: The 10.30 The Valley Between; 11.00 City Varieties. Brown And Snoopy Show: 11.25 Dimbleby. 1.30 The Big Match, New Class: 8.40 City Guys: The Mag Valentine's Special: tri Fob °team. Showbusiness Awards; 4.20 4.20 Comedy with rop BBC ;performer, To Paddington Green; 4.30 Grange Hill; 11.50 The 0 Zone: 4.15 Coronation Street; 5.15 9.10 Catdog: 9.45 Planet Pop 11.30 Singled Out: 12.00 The MasterChel 1999: 5.00 News: 12.05 The Simpsons. 12.30 Cartoon Time, 5.30 Calendar 10.00 The Waltons; 11.00 Mag Valentine's Special, 1.10 5 ta Bangladeshi Community Weather-. 5.20 Regional News: Robot Wars, 1.00 Regional News: Sport Weather: 5.45 ITN Hollyoaks Omnibus: 12.10 News: 1.20 Frostrup On Sunday; Centre. Roundhay Road Weather 5.25 Songs Of Praise Programmes News: Weather Dishes, 1.15 Football Italia, 1.50 The Movie Chart Show: bd Careen 6.00 Last Of The Summer 1.30 Sunday Grandstand 6.00 Goals On Sunday. 3.30 FILM: Can•Can (1960) 2.25 Family Affairs Abut Rahnun B %pia Wine 7.30 The Money Programme. Highlights of one 01 the 6.00 Time Team. Tony 4.40 FILM: Every Time We 6.30 Antiques Roadshow. News stories from the weekend's top First Robinson and the team Say Goodbye (1986). West Yorkshire Playhouse Antiques discovenes with world of business, Division games take to the fairways to Romantic drama about an Mornc Goon. Hugh Scully in 8.00 Snooker. David Vine 6.30 Bill Bryson's Notes discover why there's a American pilot in Introduces live coverage of From A Small Island. well-preserved Roman Gisuid Theatre Gainshorougn, Jerusalem during the Aladdin Uncoinshire. featuring an the final frames of the Best-selling author Bill bathhousemid dle of sitting in the Second World War who important wartime relic Benson end Hedges Bryson continues his a Sussex golf tails in love with a Jewish from Bomber Command. Masters Commentary by travels around Britain course. woman. Stamng Tom 7.15 Five Go Mad In The Clive Everton, Ray 7.00 You've Been Framed! 7.00 Escape To River Hanks. Planning Kitchen. Ken Horn Edmonds, John Virgo and Lisa Riley presents some Cottage. A new six-pad 6.30 100% Lovers. Valentine demonstrates an exclusive Dennis Taylor more hilarious outtakes series exploring an edition. recipe for Comic Relief, 10.30 A History Of Alternative from your home videos. alternative lifestyle at 7.00 My Ex. As the old song an event with the help of Nick Comedy. With New 7.30 Coronation Street. Roy River Cottage presented says, 'First Loves Never Hancock. Labour in power and most stuns Hayley at the by Hugh Fearnley- Ever Die'. Bean Bennett 7.20 Holiday Guide To... of the taboos broken, Valentine disco. Whittingstall. and Kathy Marr have 8.00 EastEnclers. Its Angus Deayton looks at 8.00 Heartbeat. A new 7.30 Fusion. A timely guide to brought these poignant this year? Valentine's Day in Albert what has become of restaurant run by two what style pundits are lyrics to life by tying the Square. and love is in the alternative comedy. brothers is the target of currently calling the new knot after an incredible 44 air. Featuring Rick Mayall, sabotage. Asian cool'. years apart. Let 50,000 8.45 Love Town. Tales of love. Alexei Sayte, Eddie lizard 9.00 London's Burning. Jack 8.00 The Channel 4 Political 7.30 5 News And Sport romance and passion and Jo Brand_ returns in time to save the Awards. Jon Snow 8.00 Night Fever. Suggs hosts students in Leeds unfold as couples be the 11.00 Gimme Gimme Gimme. day, while Salty finds presents the first ever a love themed edition of knot in the marriage capital Linda appears on an herself playing televised political awards. the karaoke entertainment know all about it of Britain. Gretna Green. episode of 'The Terry matchmaker. 9.00 In Search Of Law And show. With Philippa 9.15 News: Weather Clinger Show', while Tom 10.00 Tarrant On TV Order. Roger Greet Forrester and Sam Kane. with a FREE 9.30 The Lakes. Bemis announces that he is 10.30 ITN News: Weather: explores how Texas, 9.00 FILM: Speechless discovers she is pregnant getting married Calendar Weather despite having the largest (1994). Comedy about two listing in by her lover Matthew. 11.30 Never Mind The 10.45 Juliet Waiters Is An prison population, uses bubbly individuals who 10.10 Men Behaving Badly. Buzzcocks. Comedy pop Alien... In New York. imaginative ways to save give way to the Instant = GUIDE Gary finally agrees to quiz with guests are Simon Julie Walters boldly goes violent youngsters from attraction they feet for one make a commitment to Le Bon, Karen Poole. Ian stateside and has a close lives of crime and pnson. another, only to discover and on our new Dorothy. Dury and Kathy Burke. encounter with some 10.00 FILM: The Last that they are professional 10.40 Unfinished Business. 12.00 Ski Sunday. Hazel Irvine resident aliens. Seduction (1993). Linda rivals Starring Michael website. Spike takes Amy away for introduces action from the 11.30 Faith And Music. Bruce Fiorentino arrives in a Keaton and Geena Davis a surprise weekend. men's slalom in the World Dickinson discusses his small American town and 10.50 Wing And A Prayer. Just log on to 11.10 I'm Alan Partridge. Alpine Skiing belief in a fire and immediately has the men Simon and Don Gitings Dramatic developments at Championships from Vail, brimstone God. in the town wrapped defend a young woman www.leedsdotstudentco.uk the BBC give Alan a whiff Colorado. With studio 12.15 Short Story Cinema. A around her little finger. charged with fraud of hope. guest Graham Bell. slamming window robs a 12.05 Boyz Unlimited 11.55 The Comedy Network. and fill in the 11.40 The Big End. How the Commentary by Julian man of his sleep. 12.35 Babylon 5. A group 01 Tonight's acts Include fashion for tantric and Tutt 12.45 Cybemet. A look at racial fanatics infiltrates Adam Bloom, Stewart Lee form or just drop sacred sex has spread into 12.40 The Outer Limits. what's new in the world of Babylon 5. and Junior Simpson. prostitution. Science fiction anthology computing. 1.35 Dark Skies 12.25 Sports Talk With Steve the details into 12.10 International Cricket- series which explores the 1.15 FILM: Dil Tera Aashiq 2.25 Dweebs Scott Highlights from Melbourne rnystenes of the universe, (1993). Family drama 2.55 FILM: Everybody's Fine 12.55 Ice Hockey - NHL Live our office at 1.00 FILM: Alex (1993). Drama !he mind and humanity starring Madhuri (1990). Comedy drama. 4.40 Tibs And Fibs stamng Lauren Jackson. 1.35 Close 4,10 Jobfinder 5.00 Degas And Pussier Fall 5.05 Move On Up LMUSU 230 BBC News 24 2.00 BBC Learning Zone 5.30 ITN Morning News Out 5.30 Wildlife SOS Zwitmer Redeem/Kea & Tatra riway, 162 Woodhouse Lane, Leeds 2 (opp. Parkinson steps) Buy one get one FREE Flames Delicious Burgers, Pizzas, _Southern Fried Chicken, Curries, Deners Buy one curry and get a lesser price curry free. Valid on eat in orders only (1128th February 1930. Valid with this token only. open 7 days - free home delivery FREE HOME DELIVERYON ORDERS OVER £5 FREE PHONE 0800 098 2573 Tel 245 3058 162a Woodhouse lane, Leeds 2 (opposite Parkinson Steps) Kashmir Restaurant is recommended in the 1998 Taj Good Curry Guide

30

t, U I DE

A FEW years ago Jim a succession of scriptwriters glorious slow motion was Planet Earth Robinson and Doug Willis haven't quite grasped that )e enough to make me wet AOsolutely Fabulous went on a camping trip and ne sais pas pourquoi (catch myself. Student night_ Non-atop party inadvertently ate some the link?) that had embodied Coupled with their musk. magic mushrooms. L I .S0 NUS, free S4 the truly insane scenes. bizarre curse, this is surely a I I pm 9prn-2.3aam The resulting scenes that That was until a fortnight new Neighbours era. Neighbours came from this basic cub ago when Karl Kennedy I beg you to witness the Hato hd scouting error marked the strummed Johnny Silver's new revolution of slightly BBC I Wended.; Best In brit pop and Indio pinnacle of Neighbours and golden tunes. Just to see disturbing storylines. L2, free Ea I Cipm- feeriearo all it stood for. But since then Susan's loving look in Vive la renaissance! 53 5 Liquid ewer RrOvol B Elf!! B B Old sittsol,liip hop„ funk, rmre groove_ swing & tout ONE TWO L3,50, £2.50 NUS. I Oprn•2ans J Cockpit CIO Aucipnr 6.00 Business Breakfast: 7.00 6.10 An A-Z Of English; 7.00 The 6.00 GMTV; 9.25 Trisha; 10.30 5.45 The Pink Panther Show. 6.00 5 News And Sport: 7.00 enter ramment BBC Breakfast News, 9.00 A Family Ness, 7.05 Teletubbies: This Morning: 12.15 Calendar 5.55 Sesame Street: 7.00 The WideWorld; 7.30 Milkshake!; 7.35 Free. 9prn. lam Morning With EastEnders: 9.05 7.30 Snorks, 7.50 Blue Peter; News: Weather 12.30 ITN Big Breakfast: 9.00 The Bigger Winizie's House: 8.00 Club Barcelona OW 9.50A Morning With 820 Taz•Mania: 8.40 Polka Dot Lunchtime News: Weather, 1.00 Breakfast; 9.30 Sam And Max; Havekazoo, 8.30 Dappledown Rimy EastEnders: 10.00 The Vanessa Shorts. 8.50 Rornuaki The Home And Away: 125 The Jerry 9.55 Eerie Indiana; 10.25 Boy Farm; 9.00 Was II Good For Par!), eukeee. From 70i, 0435 & Snow; 10.55 News: Regional Reindeer, 9.00 Space Ark; 9.10 Springer Show: 2.10 Coronation Meets World. 10.50 Moesha; YOu?,- 9.25 RuSsell Grant's 90s News: Weather 11.00 A Short Circuit, 9.30 Writing And Street; 2.45 Dale's Supermarket 11.20 Madison; 11.45 The Bigger L3, 11 61 10.20tnn 9.30pm- Postcards; 9.30 The °prat; Zam Morning With EastEnders: 11.10 Pictures; 9.45 Storylima. 10.00 Sweep: 3.15 ITN News Breakfast: 12.00 Sesame Street, Winfrey Show: 10.20 Sunset Celebnty Ready. Steady, Cook; Telelubdies. 10.30 Words And Headlines: 3.20 Calendar News 12.30 Bewitched; 1.00 Pet Beach; 1110 Leers; 12.005 Irannizaes 11.40 A Morning With Pictures; 10.45 Cats' Eyes; 11.00 Headlines: 3.25 Hall Toon Rescue; 1.30 Travelog Trek: 1.45 News Al Noon; 12.30 Family Montirg St:J.:hem Night. Big EastEnders; 11.55 News. Look And Read-, The Legend 01 Cartoons; 3,45 The Adventures FILM' Laughter In Paradise Affairs; 1.00 The Bold And The .thinks promos. Regional News: Weather: 12.00 The Lost Keys: 11_20 Zig Zag; Of Captain Pugwasn; 4.00 Oggy (1951): 3.30 Collectors' Lot. 4.00 Beautilie 1.30 The Roseanne limp& Cali My Bluff. 12.30 Wipeout. 11.40 Landmarks, 12.05 History And The Cockroaches: 4.20 It's Fifteen To One; 4.30-Countdown. Show: 2.00 100% Gold; 2.30 Monderymernyil 12.55 The Weather show; 1.00 File; 12.30 Working Lunch; 1.00 A Mystery; 4.45 Sabrina. The 4.55 Montel 5.30 Pet Good Afternoon; 3.30 FILM: Oh A heaving gut.- or horny One O'Clock News: Weather. Romuald The Reindeer. 1.10 The Teenage Witch, 5.10 Home And Rescue God! You Devil (1984); 5.20 mayhem 1.30 Regional News: Weather: Travel Hour; 2.10 Spoiling Away: 5.40 ITN Early Evening 8.00 Roseanne. It's a temble Sun.sel Beach el NUS/42 ir you took like -onside; Kerlin from South PR.*. I Opm.. 1.40 Neighbours; 2.05 II Greats, 2.40 News: Regional News: Weather Christmas Eve for the 6.00 100%. The qua show tarn. 2-55 Body Spies; 3.25 Playdays; News: Weather; 2.45 Match Of 5.55 Calendar Connors without a host. 3.45 The Little Pet Shop, 3.55 Their Day; 3.25 News- Regional 6.30 Tonight 6.30 Hollyoaks 6.30 Family Affairs. A terrified Evolution Bodger And Badger; 4.10 News: Weather: 3.30 Awash With 7.00 Wish You Were Here...? 7.00 Channel 4 News: Claire lies bound and Nuironor Studrris Nighr Pocket Dragon Adventures; 4.20 Colour 4.00 Kaye; 4.25 Ready. Anthea Turner visits Ayers Weather gagged while the wedding 1 morns of Chart hiss, parry anthems, dance monsters. Anthony Ant; 4.35 Misery Guts: Steady, Cook 4.55 Esther 5.30 Rock and the nearby 7.50 Zoom. A series of live commences /edit. brit pop & rock 5.00 Newspound, 5.10 Blue Today's The Day Olgas in the Australian short expenmental fashion 7.00 5 News: First On Five £1 h4lOpm,U b'4ht pm, 13 Peter; 5.35 Neighbours 6.00 The Slmpsons outback. And Melinda films timely seown the 7,30 Malaysian Jungle. A look after. 6.00 Six O'Clock News: 6.20 The Simpson Messenger rates Mauritius week before London at the orang-utan and the 9.1 m - 6.45 Hit. Miss Or Maybe as a romantic destination Fashion Week work of the Sepilok Courtesy coach leaves Weather Original Oak & city square 630 Look North 7.00 The Laurence Olivier 7.30 Coronation Street. The 8.00 Riddle Of The Skies. As Rehabilitation Centre. 4-wiry t S mounts from 7.00 This Is Your Life. Awards 1999. Clive news about Roy and NASA's latest space probe which prepares the 9 30prn td midnight Anderson hosts the 23rd Hayley spreads, but not looks far signs of alien life orphaned ones for the Michael Aspel presents an Fruit Cupboard unsuspecting Individual Laurence Oliver Awards. everyone is pleased tar within our galaxy, a group wild with their life story honounng theatre's them. Linda and Lorraine of international scientists 8.00 Instant Gardens. Jac cuMthZmercial Indic w'th Dis 7.30 Watchdog Healthcheck. foremost talents Among come to blows over Steve. concede that the Flower rolls up her sleeves Mac and Hersey Consumer magazine the stars present is Sir 8.00 Trauma Team. On the phenomenon of UFO and gets stuck tn. F. 54 I030prn. 9pcn • 2ain. including a look at how to Nigel Hawthorne. Medical front line Nurse sightings around the world implementing the design prevent snoring and an 8.00 Raising The Roof. Paul Peter McGrane gets the is real and worthy of study. ideas she came up with investigation into blood Kenyon exposes bogus results at his Joe interview. 9.00 Cutting Edge. Paddy last week for the Primmer Duchess of York pressure, claims and pressure. 8.30 Carol Vorderman's Wivell's impressionistic tamiiy's overgrown garden Annie Chr,svon 8.00 EastEnders. It's Valentine tactics in Britain's home Better Homes. Home portrait of Clapham 8.30 Animal ER. Documentary night, and Matthew improvement Industry. improvement programme. Common offers a rare showing true tile ------becomes embroiled in a 8.30 Food And Drink. Antony 9.00 Forgotten. First of a insight into the lives of this emergency situations at grisly plot to hide the Worrell Thompson cooks a three-part drama about a desperate group who Endeil Veterinary Practice woman engaged in a Ire:went this infamous Vet Keith Cutler is called West Yorkshire Playhouse truth, spicy red pepper soup with Tric Tenzpvst 8.30 Dad. The day of Brian's chili cream. Arid guest diet battle of wits with a man spot. out to help a three-day•cid heart bypass has arrived. Ken Horn celebrates the convicted of killing her 10.00 FILM: Blame It On Rio call called Special. 9.00 Nine O'Clock News: Chinese New Year. daughter 20 years ago. (1983). Michael Caine 9.00 FILM: Prison Of Secrete Regional News: Weather 9,00 Red Dwarf. Holly devises 10.00 News At Ten: Weather stars as a middle-aged (1996). Moving drama 9.30 Animal Police, Tony a faster than lieht drive 10.30 Calendar News: Weather businessman who about a young mother, one tow relishes gaining a toothola which immediately goes 10.40 Nash Bridges. Nash's old embarks on a passionate jailed for a minor offence, wrong. nemesis is back. neee with the teenage and the degradation she in Wales. COOKIES AND b 10.00 Panorama. John Ware 9.30 League Of Gentlemen. 11.40 Wild On... The Strip. Julie daughter of a colleague. sutlers in prison Starring CARAMEL Investigates whether New Mr Chinnery has some Asner travels to Las With Devitt Moore. Finola Hughes and Gary uy Mnimmmmmm. Labour is posing a threat bad luck with a cow_ Vegas and to Sunset Strip 11.55 Shooting Gallery, Kathy Frank bit of rommnimm on the to democracy 10.00 If I Ruled The World. in Los Angeles. Burke Introduces tonight's 10,40 Dr Fox's Chart Update. And a 10.45 FILM: The Babysitter's Satirical quiz show with 12.40 Nationwide Football selection of short films. The latest sounds from the side. Seduction (1996). guests Gee Rhys Jones League Extra 1.10 Dispatches Pepsi Chart Are these the best ever or Suspenseful melodrama and Will Sell. 1.45 World Football 1.40 Powerhouse 10.45 FILM: Criminal Hearts what? Picture the scene - biting starring Stephen Cotins. 10.30 Newsnight 2.10 FILM: The Pit And The 2.10 Right To Reply (1995), Fast-paced thriller into your favourite mini pre- 12.10 FILM: In Defense Of A 11.15 Room 101. Nick Hancock Pendulum (1961). 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Maiestyk GOOD news for fans of bizarrely-titled Journeys into and wonderful constructions. La My SLPrs ' Jarvis Sheffield's premier gangly the Outside. Forget your Brian St-Jr.torrt only MAW_ 1 It4str,4 at popster Jarvis is back! This week, Mr Pulp makes Sewells and his gang of trad ,c-nornrrntrxhil deny aid No arse wiggling here, his way through France art critics, ex-britpop grgerrilrornerir writ, DJi Noll Mawr* &Mot Marto- v.7 Cocker can assure you. Just art looking at extraordinary singers do a much better £1 54 I l atzor. NUS wily wiggling (sorry). buildings made by perfectly job. I nominate Damon 9,101ort,Iwo This is a three part series ordinary people. from Blur to do a series on C4 Take, for example, the Underground with our Jary making his way French surrealism and Noel Lard Lounge around the world visiting Palais Ideal - built by a Gallagher for a four-parter 1101 disco. tkoky 1010Atrat 11.05 artistic treasures in the postman and the other weird on baroque music. illffanta.6 And french pop With Resident DJs r.330 ill night l0fkr,.2sTe a Name Earth V ■agri, ONE TWO ■ Uphlung unit D II apicx hour s 1 4 1 Li, L3 NUS 9 30pil.laro 6.00 Business Breakfast. 7.00 6.10 Ftetlerkt:1, The Great An il 6.00 GMTV, 9.25 Trisha; 10.30 5.40 Rat-A-Tat-Tat. 5.55 Sesame 6.00 5 News Ana Span: 7.00 Len's Bar BBC Breakfast News: 9.00 Sans Sous': 7.00 The Little Polar This Morning; 12.15 Calendar Street. 7.00 The Big Breakfast. WideWortd; 7.30 Milkshake': Juice Kilroy: 9.45 The Vanessa Show: Bear; 7.05 Teletubbies, 7.30 News. Weather. 12.30 ITN 9.00 The Bigger Breakfast. 7,35 Wenne's House: 8.00 Frey wary £1,50 for two pintrr 10.55 News: Regional News. SI-VOTI4S, 7.50 Blue Peter, 8.20 Lunchtime News: Weather, 1.00 Saved By The Bell; 9.30 Sam Havakazoo; 8.30 Dappledown Rhythms Mtwara, Weather, 11.00 Change That; Taz•Manta: 8.40 Polka Dot Home And Away; 1.25 The Jerry And Max; 9.55 Eerie Indiana: Farm, 9.00 Instant Gardens; ntri.Ho hop, Rim tlaislca with 1125 Can't Cook, Won't Cook: Shorts; 8.50 Oakie Doke; 9.00 Springer Show; 2.10 Coronation 10.25 Planet Pop; 10.50 Moesha: 9.25 Russel Grant's Postcards: Dyrulmito 11.55 News: Regional News German Globo, 9.05 Hello Aus Street; 2,45 Dales Supermarket 11.20 Madison; 11.45 The Bigger 9.30 The Oprah Winfrey Show, Weather, 12-00 Call My Bluff: Berlin: 9.10 Working It Out, 9.25 Sweep, 3.15 ITN News Breakfast: 12-00 Sesame Street; 10.20 Sunset Beach, 11.10 Think/Tank Techno, 9.45 Nurnbertirne, 10.00 Headlines; 3.20 Calendar News 12.30 Bewitched; 1.00 Pet Leeza; 12.00 5 News At Noon: Nit 12.30 Wipeout; 12.55 The Drum t■Rtss 6 Garage Weather Show, 1.00 One Teletubbles. 10.30 Watch: 10,45 Headlines; 3,25 Had Toon Rescue; 1.30 The Ocean World 12.30 Family Affairs; 1.00 The LI 10pm- 2..,ern O'Clock News; 1.30 Regional Teaching Today; 11.15 Cartoons; 3.50 The Wombles; 01 John Stoneman; 2.00 Bold And The Beautiful; 1.30 The News. Weather 1.40 Megamaths, 11.35 Words And 4.00 Rupert; 4.25 Mike And Travelog Trek: 2.10 FILM: The Roseanne Show. 2.00 100% Evolution Neighbours: Ironside, 2.55 Pictures, 11.50 History File, Angelo, 4.50 How II; 5.10 Home Mark Of Zorro (1974); 3.30 Gold; 2.30 Good Afternoon; 3.30 Lhuversol 2.05 Student Anchrmi Body Spies: 3,25 Playdays; 3.45 12.10 English Express, 12.30 And Away; 5.40 ITN Early Collectors' Lot, 4.00 Fifteen To FILM. Once Upon A Family r"; ''rt '0 The Enchanted Lands; 3.50 Working Lunch; 1.00 Oakie Evening News: Weather One; 4,30 Countdown; 4.55 Rick t 1980); 5.20 Sunset Beach Pureph, Ham HUMN), 4.10 Chipmunks Go To Doke. 1.10 The Travel Hour, 5.55 Calendar Lake, 5.30 Pet Rescue 6.00 100%. The quiz show 9.30 - 2.00sm. C1 bi 10. Ll The Wnes. 4.35 The Really 2.10 Sporting Greats. 2.40 6.30 Tonight 6.00 Dishes. Three boys as without a host. 1, £4 after Crhorte5y coach leaves Orwoal Oak and Coy Wild Show: 5.00 Newsround; News: Regional News Weather: 7.00 Emmerdale. Cunning they Cook up a dish to will 6.30 Family Affairs. Clive's every 15 minutes 5.10 Grange Hill, 5.35 2_45 Westminster, 325 News. Chris goes for second a dinner date with tonight's speech gets a lukewarm bot.-arth 9..10prr% end midnight Neighbours Regional News: Weather: 3.30 best with Laura. picker Shirley. reception. And Pete sobs 6.00 Six O'Clock News: Awash With Colour, 4,00 Kaye; 7.30 Trawler. Following the 6.30 Home Improvement. Tim for Claire, unaware that Dry Dock Weather 4.25 Ready. Steady. Cook; 4.55 crew of the Hull trawler and Jim get their own back she Is in the Rat above tel a Scram Cor•nhJ4 Cub 6.30 Look North Esther; 5.30 Today's The Day Arctic Warrior as they fish on Brad and Randy. him. 7.00 Channel 4 News: Duchess orfork 7.00 Holiday. Jill Dando is in 6.00 Fresh Prince Of Bel Air. 600 miles north of the 7.00 5 News: First On Five. Sams,p Malaysia Jimmy Mulville Philip takes Canton and Arctic circle for months at Weather National and International in lakes a narrow boat Will on a camping trip that a time 7.50 Zoom. Tonight Donald news with Kirsty Young. LUU Film Society cruise on the Leeds and takes a disastrous turn. 8.00 The Big Match: Christie works with mens 7.30 Champions 01 Nature. TN, L',...mart Curio. Liverpool canal And Kate 6.25 Heartbreak High. Sarah Worthington Cup Semi- designer Jeff Griffin in the Wildlife documentary Pm, entry LC ItaVely Mainbeel which looks at a shark Ipm. Rupert ?Adam Lt.LU Humble continues her nes a shock for Ryan. Final. Coverage of the Fens to explore the charity bike ride through 7.10 The 0 Zone. Jayne second leg of the tourney of a lost soul conservation programme C,IS Husk Bar India_ Micallemss meets Britney Worthington Cup semi- 8.00 Brookside. Tan does his in the Bahamas. diet 7.30 EastEnders. Steve hopes Spears final between Wimbledon best to convince DS Rose 8.00 FILM: The Other Mother that his attempt to bury 7,30 From The Edge. and Tottenham Hotspur. of his innocence. (1995). Moving ta WestYorirshlre Playhouse the past will work. And Magazele programme their fifth meeting in a 8.30 Carry On Snogging. dramatisation of the Inie Thc Tamen someone discovers the made by disabled people month The teams drew Carry on Snogging takes a story of a woman's nin-nit in the first leg but light hearted look at the struggle to find the son LMU Studio Thnacre truth about Nina's past for disabled people. 0.r-rylmyir 8.00 Holby City. Nick Jordan 8.00 University Challenge. extra time and penalties social and sexual taken away from her when helps a family make a Oriel College Oxford takes will be used if needed revolutions that took place she was a teenager. difficult choice on the University of 10.00 News At Ten: Weather In Britain during 20 years Recently divorced with two 9-00 Nine O'Clock News: Manchester for a place in 10.30 Calendar News: Weather of Carry On young sons, and having one to... Regional News: Weather the quarter-finals. 10.40 The Real Life Monty, Six 9.00 The Coroner. A look at lite survived a close call with 9.30 Workers At War. 8.30 Rick Stein's Seafood ordinary guys from Essex in Birmingham City cancer, she decides to FRISBEE Documentary series Odyssey. This find that stripping is more Coroner's office. seek out her long lost Still a few days looking at the world of programme features a visit lucrative than bricklaying. 10.00 Father Ted. Father Ted child. Starring Frances nde Fisher and Deborah May. left to get to the business. This to the coastline resort of 11.40 Renegade. Bobby is gets a car to raffle. about to become a serial 10.30 fair, If you do venture down, programme examines the Hue Hin in Thailand. Father Ted 9.50 FILM: ()Olinger (1973), problem of being sacked. 9.00 Home Front In The kilter's next victim. 11.05 Journeys Into The The story of legendary then make sure you don't 10.00 Inside Story. Garden, The team visit 12.40 The Haunted Fishtank Outside With Jarvis gangster John DillInger miss the Frisbee. Documentary North Landon. where they 1.10 Highlander. MacLeod Cocker. Jarvis Cocker and his mob, who carried Apart from looking like investigating America's tackle an overgrown finds himself torn between travels through France out dozens of bank the scariest ride in obsession with guns and garden, doing what is right and looking of extraordinary robberies during the Christendom, its redeeming gun culture 9.30 Close Up - Collectors. helping a friend. buildings made by ordinary Depression. Starring feature is that it actually is a 10.55 FILM: Escape From Who buys contemporary 2.05 Planet Rock Profiles. people. Warren Oates and Ben damn frightening Alcatraz (1979). an today? Dave Fanning interviews 12.05 FILM: L627 (1992). Nee- Johnson. experience. Factually-based story set 10.20 Coming Clean - The Lyle Lovett. realtst style police drama 11.50 The Jack Docherty Basically. you swing and in America's former Truth About Housework 2.30 Wish You Were Here...? starring Didier Bozace. Show. Late night chat and spin at the same time - maximum-security prison 10.30 Newsnight 2.55 Judge Judy 2,45 FILM: Au Yeux Du comedy leaving you with a distinct Starring Clint Eastwood. 11.15 Selnfeld 3.15 Nationwide Football Monde (1991). Effective 12.30 Live And Dangerous sense of nausea. 12.45 FILM: Convict Cowboy 11.35 The Larry Sanders League Extra road movie thriller starring 1.05 Live And Dangerous And if you do go on (1995). Prison drama Show. Phil quits the show. 4.10 Soundtrax Wan Altai. 3.45 Asian Football. make sure you give us a stamna Jon Voight. 12,00 Despatch Box 4.15 Jobtlnder 4.30 Aristophanes: The Gods 4.40 Prisoner: Cell Block H wave up here in the office. 2.15 BBC News 24 12.30 BBC Learning Zone 5.30 ITN Morning News Are Laughing 5.30 100%

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'19

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LOCAL dance group exciting range of live music. British Hip Hop. Lfrogsa Phoenix Dance are some of One of the highlights of Other pieces featured at Phoenix 5•errr the most exuberant the performance is the the Playhouse are Dwight StLA*Ot Met performers on the scene.at rhythmic piece Us Must Trust Rhoden's Peregri Notions. Music CO sins all mart from ?Otto 907 the moment. Us Thea Nerissa Barnes's which features rap artist, 4 and Dance [3. L2 54 I Ipm.9 30prnaant They're premiering their choreographer and poet The Lost Word and Andile 1999 tour at the West jonzi D. jorizi has toured with Sotiya's Cornered. Liquid Yorkshire Playhouse this TheYoung Disciples and This is an opportunity to © West Yorks DIM week_ It's not just dance Courtney Pine and has long catch some real local talent Skate, hip hop, D&5 and Si though, it features an Bast been at the forefront of before embarking on tour. Playhouse 2.50.I aism-tam B no Planet Earth rFr Wednesday Stevie Rees nonstop parry Two Free Hooch. Carlsberg 4 Cocktails. t6.99, /4.99 NUS 9 30171n- Business Breakfast; 7.00 6,00 6,10 Lessons From Kerala; 6.35 6.00 GMTV, 9.25 Trisha; 10.30 5.30 Rat-A-Tat-Tat; 5.45 Animal 6.00 5 News And Sport; 7.00 2:307an BBC Breakfast News; 9.00 Pyramids, Plato And Football; This Morning; 12.15 Calendar Alphabet; 6.00 Sesame Street; WideWorld: 7.30 Milkshake!, Kilroy; 9.45 The Vanessa Show; 7.00 Tales Of The Tooth Fairies; News: Weather; 12.30 ITN 7.00 The Big Breakfast; 9.00 The 7.35 Wimzie's House; 8.00 Cockpit 10.55 News: Regional News: 7.05 Teletubbies; 7.30 Snorks, Lunchtime News: Weather, 1.00 Bigger Breakfast: Saved By The Havakazoo; 8.30 Dappledown wisdom Weather: 11.00 Change Thai: 7.50 The Really Wild Show: 8.20 Home And Away; 1.25 The Jerry Bell; 9.30 Sam And Max; 9.55 Farm; 9.00 Hot Property: 9.25 Trance, techrio, D&I3, hardcore 12.50. 9pm-2am 11.25 Can't Cook, Won't Cook; Taz-Mania; 8.45 Polka Dot Springer Show; 2.10 Eerie Indiana; 10.25 Boy Meets Russell Grant's Postcards; 9.30 11.55 News: Regional News: Shorts; 8.55 Tales Of The Tooth Ernrnerdale: 2.45 Dale's World; 10.50 Moesha; 11.20 The Oprah wintrey Show: 10,20 Underground Weather: 12.00 Call My Bluff; Fairies; 9.00 Environment; 9.10 Supermarket Sweep: 3.15 ITN Madison; 11.45 The Bigger Sunset Beach; 11.10 Leeza; Monsan4 12.30 Wipeout; 12.55 The What? Where'? Wher , Why?; News Headlines; 3.20 Calendar Breakfast; 12.00 Sesame Street; 12.00 5 News At Noon; 12,30 Best of bat & las Punk, Weather Show: 1.00 One 9.25 The Art 9.45 Words And News Headiines; 3.25 Hall Toon 12.30 Bewitched; 1.00 Pet Family Affairs; 1.00 The Bold Northern Soul, Motown. O'Clock News: 1.30 Regional Pictures: 10.00 Teletubbres: Cartoons: 3.45 Jumanit: 4.10 Rescue; 1.30 The Three And The Beautiful; 1.30 The Rasldenr Dis Ed and John News And Weather. 1.40 10.30 Numbertlme; 10.45 Cats' Whizziwig; 4.40 Mad For It, 5.10 Stooges; 1.50 FILM: The Lamp Roseanne Show; 2.00 100% 10,-2arn L3.50 Neighbours: 2.05 Ironside; 2.55 Eyes, 11.00 Around Scotland: Home And Away: 5.40 ITN Still Bums 11943); 3.30 Gold; 2.30 Good Afternoon; 3.30 11.20 The Geography Len's Bar Body Spies; 3.25 Playdays; 3.45 Early Evening News: Weather Collectors' Lot; 4.00 Fifteen To FILM: The Great Pretender just Little Monsters; 3.50 Programme; 11.40 Science In 5.55 Calendar One; 4.30 Countdown: 4.55 Ride (1991); 5.20 Sunset Beach free entry El .50 for two cseseievision; 4.10 See It Saw Action; 12.00 Spanish Magazine: 6.30 Tonight. Chnstine Talbot Lake: 5.30 Pet Rescue 6.00 100%. The quiz show It; 4.35 The Witd House: 5.00 12.15 Hallo Aus Berlin; 12.30 presents the magazine 6.00 Late Lunch With Mel And without a host 5.10 Blue Peter. Working Lunch: 1.00 Brum: 1.10 programme that Ritzy Newsround: Sue 6.30 Family Affairs. Gabby Gard 5.35 Neighbours The Travel Hour, 2.10 Sporting celebrates the richness 7.00 Channel 4 News: organises a gay night out 0) Keith Ross plays tLIFFILFt 6.00 News; Weather Greats: 2.40 News. Regional and vanety of people and Weather for Clive. from 50% - 90s. Over 23s only. 6.30 Look North News: Weather. 2.45 Match 01 places in the Yorkshire 7.55 Zoom. Katerina Debb's 7.00 5 News: First On Five. Casual dress policy L I .50 tt4 7.00 Airport. There is chaos in Their Day; 3.25 News: Regional Television region. tilm demonstrates the With Kirsty Young. lipm £3 after. lOpm - Ism the VIP suite as 40 News Weather; 3.30 Awash 7.00 Emmerdale. Marlon puts medium of the human 7.30 Champions Of Nature. different diplomatic parties With Colour, 4.00 Kaye, 4.25 his job on the me when he photocopy. Wildlife documentary LMUSU arrive for Bosnian peace Ready Steady, Cook, 4.55 woos Lyn. and passion 8.00 Brookside. Tim's release which looks at Pascale an' talks Esther; 5.30 Today's The Day hares between Scott and fills Greg with tury. Has he Sicotte's efforts to Student party night-80s and Kelly. tailed Nikki when she continue the work staled 901 classics. £2.50, (.1 .50 54 7,30 Tomorrow's World. This 6.00 Star Trek: The Next Oprn, LI 50 advance 5ipm- programme features a Generation. Wesley and 7.30 Coronation Street. Nick needed him most? 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Fast-paced Sophie Grigson combines 8.00 The 1999 Brit Awards. her first foreign holiday final episode of this comedy drama in which basil with olives and tuna Johnny Vaughan hosts alone. dramatic series concludes Evolution unconventional Detroit tec in a pasta sauce. the UK's most prestigious 9.00 ER. Ross becomes the with stunning footage of sperunehr Club & Sot.o.ty Axel Foley lakes on the 8.00 Jerwood Fashion Prize. music awards show from new paediatric ER government safety aircraft met_ Popular Dance Music £l b4 10. C2 b4 I I, £3 after. killers of his boss, hit in a This programme follows the London Arena, with attending doctor and tests. Greene becomes Rachel's 9.00 FILM: Original Sin. 9.30pm-2am raid on a crooked car the hot young things of performances by Manic Courtesy coach as Mon &Tito dealer's yard. Starring British fashion. The Street Preachers, Robbie hero (1989). Tense drama Eddie Murphy. judging panel includes Williams, Cher, Boyzone 10.00 Sex And The City. Are about a couple who are Maiestyk fioagle Wonderland 5.50 The National Lottery: Alexander McQueen and the Corrs. men in their twenties the devastated when their new designer drug? One only child, a lour-year-old. 70s & 80s with a splash of 912s Amazing Luck Stories, 8.30 Looking Good. Lowri 10.00 News Al Ten: Weather C3-42 la4 tipm, Featuring the astonishing Turner investigates male 10.30 Calendar News; Weather hit and you're hooked? is kidnapped. Starring Ann MembervNUS Free 54 11pm. story of a wedding dress . grooming. 10.40 Walk On The Wild Side. 10.30 Eurotrash, More Alien, Robert Desideno. E2 atria. lOpm-tam. 9,00 Nine O'Clock News: 9.00 Modem Times. An investigation into the continental silliness. and Charlton Heston. Regional News: Weather Documentary looking at history of gender 11.00 Mark Thomas Comedy 10.55 Mellnda's Big Night In. Melinda Messenger 9.20 FILM: Beverly Hills Cop lite behind the scenes at confusion in pop. Product Corporate and Duchess of Conclusion. 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Faverilisstis FORMER cinema usher still relatively unknown. obscure 80s memories, Ctlimited achingly funny observations Breakboa. Peter Kay has been After the success of his 0, Dania f,sronvaa described as the new Les appearance on Channel 4's and a whole segment of sing- 9prm2am Dawson. Don't let this put Comedy Lab last year, he's a-long songs and misheard you off though. developing a series of docu- song lyrics. Undergranax1 Kiss My Arse Cosa iodic He's a Boltonian who is soap spoofs. He also made a Cps is the ideal venue to L110. pewter Latin club 1.rat gars making big waves in the big impression on audiences see stand-up comedy - it's Puler @ CJ's Music comedy world and this could at the Royal Variety dark, underground and Dame clam 2J Sand on 1030pm well be your last chance to Performance before Xmas. smoky - make sure you see a023 NUS Bar go and see him while he's His act consists of this man before he gets big. warehouse Tequila UK Nelanisilc.tlebauced NM. NUS C4, Members 0. 9pmaam WU Harvey MIR Bar 674 Smut • Snipe* and ✓ocloa tuna' TWO i PtlA The Pink Pantner Show: 6.00 5 News- Sport: Sarah - Skate, rock 6.00 Business Breakfast. 7.00 6.10 A Conflict Of Interests, 7.00 6.00 GMTV. 9.25 Trisha; 10.30 5.45 7.00 0 eery. Happy hour 10,11 75p a BBC Breakfast News; 9.00 Open A Door: 7.05 Teletubbies: This Morning; 12.15 Calendar 5.55 Sesame Street; 7.00 The WideWorld; 7.30 Milkshake,: 7.35 past I Opm - 2arn. Kilroy: 9.45 The Vanessa Show; 7.30 Snorks; 7.50 Blue Peter; News: Weather; 12.30 ITN Big Breakfast; 9.00 The Bigger Wimzle's House: 8.00 10.55 News Regional News, 8.20 Taz-Mania; 8.40 Polka Dot Lunchtime News. Weather 1.00 Breakfast: Sam, By The Bell: Havakazoo; 8.30 Dappledown Liquid Weather, 11.00 Change That, Shorts; 8.50 Fiddley Foodle Bird: Home And Away, 1.25 The Jerry 9.30 Sam And Max: 9.55 Eerie Farm; 9.00 Animal House; 9.25 Harlem Bash Cut Can't Cook Won't Cook; 9.00 Storyllme, 9.10 Belief File: Springer Show: 2.10 Emmerdale: Indiana: 10.25 Boy Meets World; Russell Grant's Postcards-. 9.30 F1,07802 11.25 itS Nus 64 I Opnr - 2am 11.55 News: Regional News: 9.30 Watch, 9.45 Come Outside: 2.45 Dale's Supermarket Sweep; 10.50 Moesha. 11.20 Madison: The Oprah Winfrey Show; 10.20 Weather; 12.00 Call My Bluff, 10.00 Teletubbies. 10.30 3.10 ITN News; 3.20 Calendar 11.45 The Bigger Breakfast; Sunset Beach: 11.10 Leeza, Club Nato 12.30 Wipeout; 12.55 The Storytime; 10.45 Teaching Today; News. 3.25 HaH Toon Cartoons: 12.00 Sesame Street, 12.30 12.00 5 News At Noon; 12.30 Saab 1.00 Pet Rescue: Family Affairs; Fete Wei& Hausa • Garage Weather Show: 1.00 One 11.15 Zig Zag: 11.35 Pathways 3.45 The Sylvester And Tweety Bewitched, 1.00 The Bold And Drum Bala 0.50 /i41,8pen..2am O'Clock News; 1.30 Regional Of Belief: 11.50 Job Bank; 12.00 Mysteries; 4.00 Lavender Castle; 1.30 Drittnet; 1.35 FILM. Conduct The Beautiful; 1.30 The News- Weather, 1.40 Job Bank; 12.10 English File; 4.15 Hey Arnold!: 4.40 Children's Unbecoming (1975); 3.30 Roseanne Show; 2.00 100% Cockpit Neighbours: 2.05 Ironside. 2.55 12.30 Working Lunch, 1.00 Ward; 5.10 Home And Away, Collectors' Lot: 4.00 Fifteen To Gold; 2.30 Good Afternoon: 3.30 Prqucet. Body Spies; 3.25 Playdays: 3.45 Fiddley Foodle Bird: 1.10 The 5.40 ITN Early Evening News: One: 4.30 Countdown; 4.55 Rikki FILM: The Rise And Fall Of Legs The (*wire ei a new queer genera:ion, The All New Popeye Show. 3.55 Travel Hour; 2.10 Sporting Weather Lake; 5.30 Pet Rescue Diamond 11960); 5.20 Sunset Oprn - 2arn a Pocket Dragon Adventures; 4.05 Greats; 2.40 News: Regional 5.55 Calendar 6.00 Dishes. Danny Brown Beach Anthony Ant; 4.20 Home Farm News Weather, 2.45 Match 01 6.30 Tonight takes charge of three girls 6.00 100%. The quiz show Limps Twins; 4.35 Short Change; 5.00 Their Day; 3.25 News: Regional 7.00 Emmen:tale. Scott and as they cook up a dish to without a host 14alka Newsround; 5.10 Grange Hill; News: Weather, 3.30 Awash Kelly find it hard to say no. win a dinner date with 6.30 Family Affairs. Pete L.ugast awaleit drbikin- g club. 0 is a NUS:0 if you bnng beare. 5.35 Neighbours With Colour; 4.00 Kaye; 4.25 and thanks to Marlon, tonight's picker Scott, from step closer to finding I Oprn -2prn 6.00 Six O'Clock News: Ready, Steady. Cook; 4.55 Pollard Is in the Pink. Northamptonshire, who is Claire - but will he get to Weather Esther: 5.30 Today's The Day 7.30 We Can Work It Out. in the process of setting up her before Roy completes Etrukition 630 Look North 6.00 Star Trek: Deep Space Judy Finnigan with the his own company. his mission? &xi to Ore Futlet. 90V8IN anthama. 7.00 Watchdog. Anne Nine. A disparate and show that campaigns for 6.30 Holiyoaks. Tony can't 7.00 5 News: First On Five. Mint Robinson presents the untested crew try to come the consumer. Judy and believe his eyes when he National and international ftaes consumer magazine. to terms with their new her team call big sees Finn's latest news with Kirsty Young. Hope & Garage. 14 I Open.lam. 7.30 EastEnders. As Grant home and with each other. companies to account. acquisition 7.30 Champions Of Nature. starts life outside the Vic, 6.45 Quantum Leap. The pilot and tackle consumer 7,00 Channel 4 News: Documentary focusing on Planet Earth Weather Numb& One Net Peggy makes a disturbing episode of the oft-beat problems and quenes. conservationist Jim A men ✓ umber ones. discovery. And there's a American science-fiction 8.00 The Bill. Meadows goes 7.50 Zoom Darling's work to bring the L2 50.free M Open. 9prn- /Kern nasty shock in store for series to court and linds himself 8.00 Norland Nannies. It's high Pacific Grey whale back Simon. 7.30 Regional Programmes on tnal summer at Norland and from the brink of extinction. Millen)* 8.00 Harbour Lights, Drama 8.00 Fred Dibnah's Industrial 9.00 The Murder 01 Stephen the heat Is on for Britain's 8.00 The Pepsi Chart. Dr Fox town Ficusey summer & mance, series set in the close-knit Age. Documentary series Lawrence Dramatisation team of top nannies in the presents a Brit Awards arretrerna south coast community of celebrating Britain's rich of Neville and Doreen last programme of the special. 14.13 b4 I tprn '4:embers:NUS I I Bridehaven, where industrial heritage, Lawrence's struggle to series, when they put the 8.30 Family Confidential. b4 I Ipm.0_501frer lOprn-tam, people's lives are presented by Fred Dibnah. prove that their son was finishing touches to their Documentary series that's - ------craft protects Duchess affork governed by ruthless This programme examines murdered by a gang of anything but confidential, Bros- business dealings, the early use of wind and racists in 1991 Atter 8.30 The Real Albert Goering giving a unique insight into feuding tamilies, and the water power Stephen's death, his 9.30 True Stories: Kosovo - the extraordinary goings- Fenton sea. 8.30 Wheeler Dealers. Adrian parents at first believe the The Valley. In the centre on within families. Fox* 8.50 Points Of View. Viewers Chiles presents the police will do all they can of Kosovo lies the Drenica 9.00 FILM: Sleep Baby, Sleep comment on recant BBC challenge programme in to pursue the gang Valley Here, dunng the (1995). Suspense thriller CA Music Bar Television programmes which two teams try to 10.00 News At Ten: Weather summer of 1998, film- about a woman who Y.ime MyArse 9.00 Nine O'Clock News: master a trade . 10.30 Calendar News: Weather maker Dan Reed captured becomes the police's Comedy Club Peta✓ Kay te.S0 + 0 56 concessions. Oprrr Regional News: Weather 9.00 Red Dwarf VIII. The 10.40 Stephen Lawrence. The some truly extraordinary prime suspect when her 9.30 Playing The Field. nanobots have not only conclusion of tonight's incidents . baby mysteriously City Varieties Drama senes about a recreated Red Dwarf but programme, 11.05 Ally McBeal. Ally clashes disappears. Starring Tracy To7taryTenari & Jason 6yrne Yorkshire women's have also populated the 11.40 Thursday Night Live with a client's rabbi. Gold and Kvle Chandler. Comedy welh Perrar football team. Geraldine ship with the onginal crew. 12.45 The Jerry Springer 12.00 Prey. Sloan searches for 10.50 Bring Me The Head 01 goes into early labour 9.30 Horizon. Documentary Show more of the new species. Light Entertainment Irish Canoe after a stressful day at investigating the troubled 1.30 Highlander. MacLeod and 1.00 VidS. Slackers Nigel and Graham Norton is Joined The Getembinveeda work. history of artificial hearts Charlie come to the aid of Si& review the latest by Junior Simpson and LUU Fans Society 10.20 They Think It's All Over 10.20 Tales Of Tools Sara Lightfoot, a Native videos. Richard Morton Miami to SIT) Again. Sports quiz. 10.30 Newsnight American 1.30 NYPD Blue, The squad 11.20 The Jack Docherty time-fibers. members 10.55 Question Time. Topical 11.15 Late Review. Mark 2.25 Pop Down The Pub re-open a five year old Show. Late-night chat and 7nrn, Rupert Beckett LT.LU debate from the City Hall Lawson reviews the 2.50 Judge Judy armed robbery case. comedy. in Hull week's cultural highlights. 3.10 Cybernet 2.30 St Elsewhere 12.00 Live And Dangerous WestYorkshire Playhouse 11.55 FILM The Parallax View 12.00 The Phil Slivers Show. 3.35 Potty About Pets 3.25 FILM: Crackerjack 12.40 Live And Dangerous Tempest (1974). Stylist) thriller Bilko claims to have had a 4.00 Soundtrax 11938). Vintage British Continued Pommy Ounce Company Tam starring Warren Beatty. close encounter. 4.15 Jobfinder action comedy starring 4.40 Prisoner: Cell Block H 1.35 BBC News 24 12.30 BBC Learning Zone 5.30 ITN Morning News Tom Walls. 5.30 100%

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ODEON CINEMA The Headrow A Bug's Life (U) 12.20 14.30 16.35 18.40 20.45; Sat Late Show 23.15 243 6230 - programme and bookings Don't Go Breaking My Heart (PG) 14.15 16.20 18.20 20.35; Sat Late Show 23.10 243 0031 - enquiries The Prince of Egypt (U) 12.10 (Not Tues) £3 with NUS card Madeline (U) 11.45 13.30 Stepmom (12) 15.10 17.45 20.15 (not Sun); Sat Late Show 22.50 The Parent Trap (PG) 12.30 Hilary and Jackie (1S) 15.00 17.40 20.20; Sat Late Show 23.00 Hideous Kinky (15) 11.20 18.30 (not Sun) Little Voice (15) 15.55 20.40; Sat Late Show 23.05 This Year's Love (18) Sun Only 20.15 Hilary and Jackie (15) 15.00 (7.40 20.20; Sat Late Show 23.00 Hideous Kinky (15) 11.20 18.30 (not Sun) Little Voice (15) 15.55 20.40; Sat Late Show 23.05

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230 2362 - prog I 275 1061 - enqs A Bug's Life (U) 11.00(Fr!Saj 14.00(FfiSal 16.10(trlSa) 18,10 20.10; Sun 15.00 17.20 19.40 £2 NUS in stalls (Mon/Tues); 0-£3.50 others COTTAGE ROAD CINEMA Cottage Road, Headingley 230 2362 - programme / 275 1606 - Babe: Pig in the City (U) Fri/Sat Only 11.00 enquiries Prince of Egypt (U) Fri/Sat 14.00, Sun 15.00 £2.50 NUS (Mon/Tues); £3 all other times Shakespeare in Love (IS) 17.40 20.20:Except Sun 17 10 19.50 HYDE PARK PICTURE HOUSE Brudenell Road, Hyde Park ti 275 1045 Henry Fool (10)'18.00 20.45 la Ferris Bueller's Day Off (15) r I cVi' Sr:)v, 23 30. Slim I3 00 £2.50 NUS; £2 on Monday cheap nights The Breakfast Club (15) Sat Late Show 23.30 £3 late shows 11Th IN MI MI NI MINIM 111 MB MINN NI MI • WHAT ARE STUDENTS GETTING UP TO AT WARNER VILLAGE CINEMAS? if Up to 25% off any ticket anytime. With a valid NUS or 'SIC card. Nine Screen Multiplex. Double Seats, Stadium Seating, Digital Stereo Surround Sound and WARNER WI' Premiere Size Screens. V)ItiAGU 1.51 Cardigan Field*, Kirks.tall Road. Leeds. Card Bookings and Film Information 0113 279 9833. 111±.dik111

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The Concourse (City Site) Student Support Reception in D21 I James Graham Lecture City Site or Rich House Beckett Park. Theatre Lobby For more information - (Beckett Park) Phone SFSS on The Library Brunswick Terrace 0113 283 6701 •• ...... 12/13 ig the The Restaurant ;Game does it on the sheet We did it Ales off on mystery blind dates

Name: Ruth Giller Name: Dave Lurch Name: Carrie Sanders Age: 19 Age: 22 Age. 23 Course: English, University of Leeds Course: French and Italian, University of Leeds Course: Theauv Studies, University of Leeds Perfect manSense of humour. interesting, likes to different things, Perfect woman: Women in the Mouat Jones coffee lounge Interests: Theatre, socialising, reading sensitive. Interests:Travelling. drinking, sleeping Perfect man: Chisselled, tall, extremely funny, intelligent. Interests:Theatre, art, bars, nice clubs Favourite film: Zero de Conduite Favourite film: It's a Wonderful Life Favourite film: Withnail and I Three words to describe himself: Complex, imaginative. Three words to describe herself: Idealistic, disorganised, Three words to describe herself: Giggly. deep-thinking, arty single jocular

Immedfately. He all. He'd taken off his glasses which impression some thinks. this girl started • impressions After the meal t to and he kept was lovely. because he's got was that she wasn't my talking to me. I'd never met her. MUhim was that he was the Calls, where we chatted for laughing whichch was nice_ We gorgeous blue eyes. He also gets to type Looks-wise before. She asked me what my ly ram:table. I a while tango' We Men went to whi talked about norml stuff to start with the gym twice a day. so he has a great However when we started name was and introduced definitely warmed to him. I was the Townhouse where we - clothes and dubbing. that sort of body. Mine's not quite so well chatting the conversation hemelf I was a bit embarrassed. xo nervous beforehand but he kissed. We them went back to thing. He told me that be had counted maintained, I'm afraid to say. flowed really easily. I think I mean it doesn't happen to me said to me 'Have you been as mine and had a glass of wine his trousers and had found out he had He was really scared about Ewing we'd both imagined it would he very often and [ wasn't quite nervous as I have today?' I had. and exchanged telephone pain. I was a little bit worried in the plunge-pool, because it's so quite hardd but amazingly it sure what to do. I exchanged I was on time which was very numbers before he left. when he said that, but in fact I cold_ So we decide to take the plunge wasn't. The waitress kept few pleasantries with her and unfashionable. Audrey Hepburn We weren't overtly immediately felt comfortable with together. Although when we actually coming over to take our orders then she noticed I was holding wouldn't have been on time. flirtatious with each other but I him. We arrived a bit Leidy for the got there, he jumped straight in and and we hadn't even looked at two drinks and said, 'Oh, you're We hit it off straight away; it felt it was more physical than couples aession at the baths and the threatened to pull me in too. He not the menu yet. clearly with someone else.' And wasn't difficult to make platonic; I'm used to men women only saran was still going like the sort of person 1 usually go We actually talked about I said 'Yeah' and lat. cunveisation - it was all very agreeing with me all the time. on. We didn't realise and tried to out with I normally go for opposites, quite serious and austere things 1 was having a much better natural. It got progressively but Dave wasn't reluctant to walk in and this wend= shouted but we were really similar and like an, literature and the time with Carrie. We were both easier and i forgot I was on a voice his contrary opinions. I "Stop! There are naked women in clicked brilliantly on a friendship cinema_ It became apparent amazed at how similar we were blind date, which was good only really see myself going there!' Tim hive immediately. It was level. [think he was very individual. pretty quickly that we shared a personality-wise. I definitely considering how reluctant i was out with someone who's really funny. He's into his clothes, but not posey. lot of opinions_ In between all found her more attractive as the to do it. We talked about perfect- that's why I'm often We killed tirne until we went in I_Axiks-wise, he's definitely the sort that, we talked about ourselves. evening went on. She's the sort travelling and what we did single. I was never really by going to Betty's Tea Room and of person I'd go for. We shared a taxi After the meal, which was of person I normally go out with during our years out I'm expecting to 'get it on' with the having a coffee. We talked about our home from the station. When we got delicious, we went to the I tend to go out with people who generally happy being single blind date, but overall it was a families and also about art, which we to my house, he leaned over, gave me Townhouse. A couple of her keep me interested on a cerebral and I find it hard to fancy success. I wouldn't do it again found out we were both say a kiss and said what a nice date it had friends were in the queue and I level. I found her very someone without knowing as I had reservations about interested in. We had a surprising been. lie's got my number, so maybe did wonder if they were there as intellectually stimulating. them. However he was very doing this one. If it didn't amount in common. I thought I'd be we'll go out again. a safety valve for her. But in fact I. went back and had a gloss friendly throughout. and had a happen between us then I can't really embarrassed in my cossie with • Turkish Baths.11arrngate when we got inside, we didn't of wine at her house, we chatted sense of confidence and self- say I would be too disappointed a complete stranger, but I wasn't at Tel: 01423 562498 see them again and we just kept some more and we kissed_ It possession which was as I would just get on with my chatting. was great. We've exchanged attractive. He didn't really life. Saying that, I think he's Carrie actually doesn't know numbers and although I've yet make me laugh but no-one very attractive but who knows about the funniest event of the to find her number again, if we makes you laugh as much as what will happen.. evening. When I was at the bar run into each other, we may your friends as you are a kit gory of lurve in the Townhouse getting us well go out fora drink again. more synchroms,ed. • La Dolce Vita Tel: 242 0$65 sonic way of hijacking the pagan middle of the Nineteenth century when he penny post was insemed, But during They found in their annals that in the Victorian times the greetings cards 1 Century AD a nun had been most started getting a bit racy. 'fully executed for his faith in Rome. People stopped sending them Valentine had been beheaded and because they were too mile. By the First wed. The day of his death was World War the celebration was dead. It nay one day different from Loper was only when the Americans decided ha. but they thought they'd get away to resurrect it with an eye to profit that it Ur it. took off again. Valentine had died for his love of As for blind dates. I think it's always me and Liver Celia was about love. interesting when boy and girl meet. You I the two together and they got the could plan the perfect couple on a ristian festival of Valentine's Day. computer but the most unlikely Valentine's Day as we know it, matchings could easily produce *ever, wasn't born until the 1950s. relationships. YOU just never know. It lamina's cards had been sent from comes down to magic in the end. `The waitress kept coming over and we hadn't even looked at the menu yet'

14 CLASSIFIEDS Leeds Student, Friday February 12 1999

To anyone who went to the Sports 2.000 posters, plus the possibility of 5 Hanover Square girlies- I love you and encourage multi-occupancy traffic. Be smart and get on line lost my Hack dinner jacket at several bus sides, beer mats and car all to pieces and hope that I could go travel. Similar projects are now now. the Armouries. It was taken from my stickers. out on a date with any one of you or running successfully in Germany Birthdays are over at last and the chair in the area of Basketball, Anyone interested in taking part maybe .ill of you at the same time. and Belgium. Now its time to furore is just about dying down. Well Kora!II and Netball towards the end should contact Nieky Birch ASAP on Love extend the benefits of this service done Nav and Louise for a great of the night. It is a double-breasted 231 4249. The deadline is Friday My cherubs at 10 Burchett Terrace. I to British students. night, sorry Phil and. Nick for so :jacket and very large! It anyone can 19th February love each and everyone of you. my It's easy to use "liftshare.corn" many requests for cheesy music. We please help me with finding it would Hi MI, I am writing this on possums.Yours eternally or I) Get on the Internet. GO to the just aren't as cool as we'd like to be. be extremely grateful'[ Contact tuesday so I am still recovering internally could he mitre rue?? "Ifftshare.enm" website Welcome back all old Spurs Ade(Dicky) on from the party! And for all of you Alice Palace, Paper Hat. I love you. 21 Enter your travel details. The supporters. let's take those Tykes to [email protected], or Est 2219. with something to hide. I have no doubt 'bout that. Happy system will automatically search Elland hack You'll he able to hear or at home on 27833.16. Thanks. photographs and am open to valentines day. A xxxx fur an possible matches and me wherever you sit. WENDYHOUSE/ MUTATE bribes... It's good to he hack. Love DJ. It's a little known fact that taxis display these for you on your It would appear that 1 have some Saturday 27 February Harvey Becca sees are financially constraining, but you screen. space to fill. Right. I feel confident Milk Bar- Leeds University Union. i)earcct T, First of many valentines can constrain me anytime, love LC 3) Select the suitable traveller and in saying that the lads are going to Alternative 80s downstairs. to come! I can't wait to grow old and Mr_Pacino let's get busy contact them on their e-mail win a game this year. After the industrial acid teehno trance senile with you. but let's hope the "liftshare.com" is a website service 1which ensures members privacy). ridiculous ending of the match last upstairs.3.50 door tickets adv. 4 incontinence doesn't kick in tort for students which provides cheap You will then arrange with them a week it does appear that there is a pounds door - Jumbo. CATS, scion! i love you more than anything. travel and reduces traffic. suitable collection point. either at team out there for the taking. Infopoint Doi.Dot_ No return. Here's to "liftsharecom" puts people the local student union, bus or rail Glorious passing and shouting all httpdhuembers.tripi•d.com/-wendrimaxst forever. all my love. ?_xxxxx travelling to the same destination stations. Ask them to bring LI) round. Seb come back - the http://members.tripodAxim/-mutate_u Dennis the Menace - The Haagen in contact with each other. with them, take LI) with you and Gasenigne role needs filling. As for LSRfrn Graphics Competition DIJILS is now in the freezer. it's up to allowing them to arrange to travel he sure to match it to the these freshers, they are not going 1..SRfm is running a competition for you how long it stays there. Love. together and share the cost. information given on e-mail. to know what has hit them. Nav main graphics package for the next Gina G Government research proves Membership of the "liftshare.com" can tell them all his wordly tales broadcast starting on April 19th. We BOB. Thanks for an eventful few conclusively that independent car website will provide you with a w hile the Gub (accidentally) heats are looking to reinterpret the basic months_ But never forget_.. was travel is cheaper than either rail or secure means of contacting fellow them into the ground. station identity and the winner will YOU who tried to pull meat the Fay. bus alternatives. ••liftshare.com- is travellers. It will he cheap, green Come on the blues (and whites) see their work on 35,000 flyers, Love Hilly a means to reduce costs still more and easy. Save money and reduce over the weekend. You tell me.

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Bur NEw.. DON'T BE CRAZY! THE FULL - CONTACT —SpeSpendnd your summer in Franc—e7

prr.1,11 :•-■t,P1 :$, t•,t, WASHING MACHINE Rental l Co. KARATE run 4 star campsite in £150.00 Central France requires French Refurbished ix-,Inui Repairs, Service & Salts & self defence/circuit work speaking Summer helpers for !rooter. Hotpoint'ud White Knigla LEEDS 128.00 KYOKUSHINKAI cooking-odd jobs-reception. etc. Minn-Media Pentium, ImIn Washing Mnehmes it Dryers Established 1989 & training: £499.00 Or Wage. board & travel provided nfruid to truy_ask for rentals RENT A WASHING MACHINE Old PC's need fixing-al for detail, For only £3.00 pit week TUESDAYS Write with personal details, inter- Surtvaire pmbirms..r.211 for details Or ests and abilities to:- Millennium onntpliant7_eull (Cr details 7:45 - 9:15 P.M. Near the Taps Pub, WASHING MACHINE & Camping de la Filature, TUMBLE DRYER WRANGTHORN CHURCH HALL 03450 Ebreuil, France SECOND BY CITY LTD North Lane, Headingley Fin •..els £5.00 per week HYDE PARK CORNER or Fax 00334 70 90 79 48 j Specialists in refresh' r i'o'dine Tel : 274 2222 Hyde Park Terrace For interviews in March 0113 294 8844 student discount Tel:- 01904 73 80 25 UNIVERSITY OF • CONDOMS 40% Off LEEDS CHAPLAINCY SHIP IT or STORE IT SHIRE OAK Convenient & lin arum UNIVERSITY OF X Discreet Service Regular Events On Campus I to At Emmanuel Telephone 233 5072 DRIVING SCHOOL LEEDS CHAPLAINCY Durex 18 gassassr bars Safe Church open weekdays for quiet reflection ONE-STOP Complete service offered LI 7.30 £11 70 fetherra, Sits Phiy , 7.50 £12.80 FREIGHT The Chaplaincy is at the Emmanuel Institute (next door) including theory test training Meet, Ultra Strong t: 9 (X) (15.25 (nest to main Common Room SHOP LTD Institute the University Mates Very Competitive rates entrance) and at 25 Clarendon Place Tea. coffee, friendship. conversation ittfiraf r: 7 35 1:11.70 elg5. ilwo steps up from the Union), Sundays 10am Anglican Eucharist i Al I.KINt Fuld 1\1'4 \ I Calera/ Intensity t." X as £12.81) SliTiLlsrTS nrsmosr; t. h 1,k ■. f.it,7F Tuesdays 1.05prn Extra discounts fur students alitriltnlig 15 £.15.15 Quaker meeting fot Worship MAJOR CRLDF1 CARDS ACCEP'lEE) and beginners Chaplains arc available to all members Flo:LPHONF. of the university. regardless of faith or Durex Avatiti !_1170 09.70 (Rom-10091 Tel No -11113 268 1704 Wednesday SHIPPING 0808 1001603 creed, and offer help in resolving prott- Prim MEN flow a Male OEMs 1.1111110 Fax -11113 237 0779 /VIGO AM LTD Oil ti Sri ern tux 1.10pm Campus Communion STORING 9808 100 2421 lems, a chance to talk things over in it IMO AM PO sr 331, Annum trio VW followed by lunch relaxed atmosphere, or counselline 6.00pm International Students Club Hatpins STUDENTS LOOK! Thurdays STORM COMPUTER RENTALS Coffee is constantly available in the Essays. CV's. Theses, dissertations, I.1()pm Agnostics Anonymous- 24-7 tt~ Essay deadline approaching? common moms. where there is a chance (also in foreign languages), faxing, a chance to explore beliefs and doubts SUPERB DC RENTAL 486 COMPUTERS to meet students and staff from acruss laminating. binding. letters, Friday's 1.10pm [EG Y Albion Glasss the 'university. There is also space for envelopes, mail shots, Discussion with visiting speakers. AVAILABLE TO quiet reflection or even work. and many colour printing. 'Burning Issues'''. topical debate, simple BUY FRONT opportunities for worship or open charity lunch STUDENTS • Full service offered I can collect and deliver. 25 Clarendon Place debate. Student discount. Catholic Chaplaincy Broken Windows? Telephone 245 7421 A number it different sii.e rooms are Reglazed - Only E15 + glass 40.1 Evenings and weekends no problem. Sunday Mast. 10.30am and 0 30pm IF YOU 111111147 NOTSCEI, available for hire. For details contact WE use MST, Weekday Mass Mon, Wed, lit I lapin Ned Partin on 233 5072. or call in At All work Is kept on disc - updates and We can claltwer S .nsuni a system imtradatelyi reprints no problem. Toes, Thur, 5 15pm Every Day 8am 'till 10pm 1013116 contact the Eanntamiel Institute. Itolydays !nand 5.15pm Phone Leeds 249 4933 Call or fax Nicola on 258 6961. Conk-inn. On recitieS1 0113 216 1346

. 38

SURVIVAL SPECIAL: Exactly how has Clinton managed to pull off the greatest escape of all time? Page 19 CAREERS • FOOD AND DRINK • FASHION • POLITICS • SCIENCE • TRAVEL Show us your pants then Throw out your grey apple catchers and make room for sexy thongs. CLAIRE BRAYFORD finds the drawers that everyone wants to get their hands on this Valentine's Day CCORDING to a group of researchers, men's stress levels soar as they enter shops at Christmas. So to save your blood pressure and to make sure the girls don't end up with peep hole bra Aand pants from Ann Summers, get your hands on lots of sexy nightwear and underwear which is guaranteed to blow your socks off. If you want something cheeky and a hit more naughty than the support briefs in Marks and Spencer. Top Shop Pictures: Witll Ooaseens have some funny knickers that have 'love and 'saucy' written on the front. They also have some great sheer easy access nricfs with ribbon ties at each side for those who are Sports knickers and vest (£8/£18 - KNICKERBOX) modelled by Cherry Byron-Withers, Cream slip (£25 - M&S) modelled by Karen Beazley. Nightdress (£35 - TOP SHOP) modelled by Jennie Gill, Dressing gown (£35 - ht&S) modelled by lobal Mien TURN TO NEXT PAGE

39

16 OUTLOOK Leeds Student, Friday February 12 1999 Knickerbocker glory

FROM PREVIOUS PAGE

really impatient. But tOr the true sex kittens then the sequinned purple bra and thong are a must for a real performance in the bedroom. If you prefer to have a little more to the imagination then Knickerhox have some unusual alternatives. Their oriental collection is perfect tor luxuriant relaxing on Valentine day. The Matto pants worn with their pretty gypsy rose hra and briefs looks subtle yet sexy. They can also he mixed and matched with a gorgeous cream chemise and kimono. For a more basic easy look then the blue Lycra vest and briefs arc very cute and comfy. They wilt not burn a hole in your wallet either. because Kniekerhox are offering 10 per cent off with your union card. They also have a clever wish list to make sure that lover buy cannot get it wrong. Fill it in s u en & your siiie and style and leave it lying about for him to find. ft's a foolproof way of making sure he doesni come hack with a .i4DL) bra after some wishful thinking. youth travel Finding something sexy to wear on your feet can be tricky so Marks and Spencer have got some Agent Provocateur www.usitcampus.co.uk fluffy mules. But if you want something cosy and funky, -Boots have Little Miss 49 Branches Nationwide Naughty and Winnie the Pooh slippers which are really snug. So there is no excuse for wearing your grey apple catchers on Sunday and your wineyette Australia Nulti•stops' passion killer pyjamas can to in the bin. with kQANTAS

London Singapore - Cairns Overland Sydney - Bangkok - London

London - Singapore - Perth - Sydney Overland Cairns - Bangkok - London Budget Breaks NEW YORK flt £154 _ 483 + 2nts accomm £29 I ATHENS fit £148 _ 2nts accomm £16 — £164 Red bra (£18) and red satin pyjama bottoms(L25) are part of a set from lop Shop. Dressing gown as before Destinations eco/w £rtn Amsterdam 37 49 Boston 95 154 Chicago 115 175 Delhi 208 299 Mexico 175 299 Hong Kong 221 339 Paris (Eurostar) - 49 `Prague 76 127

USit CAMPUS YHA Adventure Shop, 117-121 Vicar Lane, Leeds LSI 6 • 0113 246 1155 • Sexy purple sequined bra (EIS) from Top Shop and cream satin dressing gown from Marks and Spencer (L25) USIT CAMPUS LTD ATOL 3839 - • ••• •-•••••••■■•••ar saw avunooK ••• .1•1. ••, • ••• 41,11. ...••■• IP Leeds Student, Friday February 12 1999 • 17

FABLES FROM FRANCE

HERE conies a point, whilst living abroad, when you begin to miss things T from home. At first you experience a slight irritation at the lack of skimmed milk and Flora in the shops. and the fact that the bread is never flat, until you eventually start craving things you would have never wanted back in England - Jelly Tots, Wildlife (in One, Pot Noodles... One thing I never imagined I would miss, let alone need. was an ambulance. At least not until Marcus hilA.tt his wrist. Marcus is another English assistant from Leeds. He lives with another group of students in Lyon where they spend their time in Irish pubs drinking pints. So in their attempt to enter French culture. and in mine to escape from it. we'd all descended on yet another assistant for some

He returned, his ann wrapped in a bundle of magazines, with the news that it was broken. At least he was smiling

skiing in the Alps Valentines day is the perfect opportunity to indulge in some Sensibly I remained in the strange half- garden shed half greenhouse shaped building, drinking coffee, the "not quite payday yet" time luxuriant pampering. LOUISE BURKE has some beauty tips to of the month preventing me from joining in. It had rained the night before so the snow was icy and the wind blew clouds of it in your face. I didn't envy them, especially when they ensure your partner isi be: !.4 ng for more amour arrived hack blue faced with their eyelashes MOTHER evenly over Sunday. and typically Sunday is a Alternatively you may want to your hair for shine. But remember frozen together - and no sign of Marcus. body...wait ten minutes.._ and day of relaxation when you take let a volunteer massage some body chip shop locks are so last season. Eventually he returned, his arm wrapped in a Senjoy the benefits.... No. I'm everything in your stride, push the lotion into that perfectly, supple, Make-up this spring must be bundle of magazines, with the news that it was not talking about your new Cliniquc boat out and pamper yourself. waxed and trim body of yours. natural. The advantage of the fresh probably broken. Al least he was smiling. But spray-on fake tan, I'm talking about Splash out on perfumes, Ideally this would he done after the look is a resistance to smudge after not for long. something that will do a little more toiletries that will help your day of bath. all the smooching that's being France has no state paid ambulance service. than just bring colour to your romance to be a day to remember. Next step, hair and make-up. done. Remember, it's not If you hurt yourself you go to the doctor who cheeks. Halloween. contacts a radiographer. Cuddly teddies, heart shaped So, now it comes to dressing. If there's no-one available, you phone the choccies and red balloons may be Make-up this spring must be natural. The Eatable undies from Ann Summers fire brigade who tells you where the nearest the retailers' answer to making are a must. They are available for open hospital is. If it's serious, they'll drive you Valentine's Day special, but looking advantage of the fresh look is a resistance to men and women and at only £4.99 there themselves. Failing that, you can hire a private ambulance from most taxi firms. beyond the cummercial hype, this ii it's probably going to be the best could really be the day to make smudge after all the smooching dessert you've ever had - the There was no radiographer and the nearest your romance blossom. strawberry flavour is the tastiest. hospital was 50km away, but after a long drive This is the one day that love is in apparently. we finally found ourselves in a tiny waiting the air, so why not let your hair You want to look. smell and taste John Frieda, top stylist And for those of you with a real room where Marcus was bundled away, X- down, get into the swing of things delicious for your partner and I recommends the 'loose tresses' sweet tooth, the king player of rayed. plastered up and lectured not to ski for and get those red togs out and found plenty of ways to do ,just that. look for this season. Plait your hair foreplay has to be the chocolate two months. celebrate the most romantic day of Firstly, the right fragrance is a whilst damp. then when dry. undo body paint. A treat that won't break Then he was handed the customary heap of the year must to release those pheromones the plaits and comb through with the bank for the horny students at paperwork and we were pushed out the same Whether you're fortunate and get them racing. What better your fingers for romantics waves- £3.99 a jar, although of course, it way we came in. "Glad that's over." Marcus said. "They were enough to be spending Valentine's fragrance to tease the senses than the perfect result. For you fun depends on how many jars you are crazy in there - they kept throwing plaster at day with a loved one or arc just the new Parfurn 'By' from the sex blondes try his Sheer Blonde range expecting to go through.So going out to party footloose and duo themselves, Dolce & Gabanna.. of hair products (£4-6) for hair Valentine's day isn't just about each other." But it wasn't. When we got back we still had fancy free, make that extra bit of A combination of warm, floral and brightening results. tacky balloons and cuddly bears it to phone the police and find out where the effort to achieve that look of lun-ve. fruity aromas to whiff in the The cheaper alternative option can be the perfect excuse for the nearest chemist was. This year Valentine's Day is a direction of your loved one. would be to smother olive oil in two of you to pamper and indulge,

41 18 OUTLOOK Leeds Student, Friday February 12 1999 ON YER Making a long BIKE Your fortnightly term investment guide to careers events in Leeds Uprooting and moving to London can be a daunting prospect Friday February 12 Management Consultancy and IT 11.00 - 12.00pm Great Woodhouse Suite CLARE LISTER dicsovers the banks that like to say Welcome Voluntary Seam Home and Overseas 2.f.X1 - 3.00prn Great Woodhouse Suite ANKING does not mean spending all day sitting .Tuesday February 16 Bbehind a glass counter Applying fix and making the most of your stamping cheques and paying-in summer placement hi ■01..s. shouting "Next please." 101./pm RS LTI 6 The financial world offers a myriad of opportunities for graduates with a Clifford Chance Applications and Interviews variety of skills. Stot:kbroking. emerging 6.00pm Senior Common Room markets, risk assessment and a variety of other areas all fall under the banking Wednesday February 17 title. Assesment Centre Workshop And you don't need a busitim 2.00 - 4.30pm MMF 301t degree either. Ross Dilworth graduated with a 2:1 in International History and Politics Friday February 19 from Leeds Uni versity. He had not Arts Administration. Librarianship considered bunking before his final 11.00 - 12.00pm Great Woodhouse Suite year, but was attracted by the thorough training most (tithe banks provide. Enyimment and. Conservation "Before I started working I had 100 - 3.00pm Great Wti dhouse Suite ► absolutely no financial know ledge at all you just pick it up on the joh." he Monday February 22 says. "The training is really good and Wragge Co if you ask questions. you get answers. 500prn Senior Common Room "I was looking for a job after the summer that would take a history degrix. Tuesday February 23 The company is global and it had a A Packixi Lunch big emphasis on people so I thought I'd 1.00pm University House go for it. "I really didn't have what I thought Wednesday February 24 were marketable skills before I joined_ Appling for postgraduate study LOADS OF LOLLY: The historical JP Morgan building in the City of London is at the centre of the financial district The extent of my computer knowledge 5.15pm Careers Service was game-playing skills. As it happens. just in case. but actually l mainly go "I was working in a small team on sent on the graduate training course to my history degree proved to be quite out with people from work now They're the trading floor. The programme is New York for two months. and says it Thursday February 25 helpful in that it taught me to organise all so friendly, and it's easier to drop well organised. they plan for students was the best thing that's happened to Making the most of time out and analyse. collate information, form into the pub straight after work." to take part in projects which are her so far 2.00pm Careers Service ideas and give presentations." - She took History at Leetis. but got challenging, and ensure that you have it's a fantastic experience, although Because many graduates arc her job by getting an summer internship a goal to meet. something to complete. very hard work. About 90 of us were Friday February 26 so moving to London for the first time, a with Morgan when she was still at "Of course it gaves me contacts as sent from all over the world. staying in I ravel, Conference Organising, Leisure lot of the city' tirms provide extra help the heart of Manhattan right near the 11.00 - 12.00pm The Great Woodhouse Suite. with the transition. Many of them organise shops. The social spirit there was University House house sharing for their new recruits. incredible. Some people liked it so much Ross got a job with the city bank JP that they applied for placements there, Advertising. PR, Broatk-asting. Journalism Now most of my friends are Morgan. which ran a similar scheme. and some stayed for another six months." 2.00 - 3.00pm The Great Woodhouse Suue "At first I was really excited about While the financial benefits of wetting moving to London. but I was also a for the firm were aural:to e for both of Day in the life et— from work and we organise lots hit nervous as anyone would he moving them. their real job satisfaction comes One hour sessions running throughout Fehmary to a bigger city," he explains. "Especially from the people they work with. about various careers. 11 .00-3.00pm at because I was starting a new joh at "I'd advise students to learn about University House of social events the smite time. The company was really jobs by talking to people, and If they helpful though. Now most of my friends think banking sounds good. do the Visit the careers are from work and we organise kits of internship." says Kettle. "It's brilliant services websites for social events." university. well, and I enjoyed the internship so experience, great for contacts. eood more information "In the summer holidays while I was much that I decided to apply for the fun, and the money certainly helped me ERR1E Hanafin. another Leeds at university I desperately needed to rai nee scheme after I had graduated." enjoy the time and have great holidays clear my overdraft. My brother Working for a global company has afterwards." vvvvw.leeds.ac.uk/careers eraduate working as JP Morgan. K also moved in with people she recommended banking as a well-paid many advantages. most obviously the • To request on application pack, mei at work. job that would also look good on my possibility of being sent abroad. Ross !demo' contact the JP Morgan Graduate wvvvv.Imu.ac.Uk/acid/ "When I Itrst starred the job I knew CV. So I applied for the internship al has been to both Frankfurt and Paris. Recruitment Hotline on 01753 608307 careers a few people from uni who had jobs JP Morgan and gut it. I really enjoyed even though he has only been at the or check their website at in London. and we swapped numbers it. company for 18 months. Kerrie was wwwjprm»wan.com. BUSINESS GAME 16TH FEBRUARY

Unilever 5:30 - 7:30pm See Careers Service for details Unilever Leeds Student, Friday February 12 1999 OUTLOOK 19 Take a byte out The Senate of the new findsits" senses big apple America breathes a sigh of relief as the Senate trial comes to an end and ZAK! COOPER pays homage to Clinton's skills of political endurance 0 POLITICS ,. PPEA RING before the media in the aftermath of King Hussein's death. President Clinton Alooked solemn and grief- stricken. In an emotive tribute, he spoke of the King as a man of peace, a courageous leader and a personal friend. [0 COMPUTING Clinton marvelled at the King's - J energy to give life to the peace HERE'S really nothing morn process when he knew he was boring than rending a review of a losing his own battle with cancer, Tnew computer Operating System. I "The smallest man in the room know. and I'm sorry but I really think that day was the largest. the you should stick with this one. because frailest was the strongest," exclaimed the President in his this one really is quite exciting. No, honestly, it is. The Oecrating System (or 0S1 is the little pit= of software that sib on your computer and His status as a allows you Indio anything iii all. You need one or else you'll find that what you've invested in is ju.q a plastic box with lots of wires inside. `great It's the OS that makes it work. So it conic ,. a% rit% peat surprise that all computers come with an OS when you buy them. On a PC, it's survivor' is Windows., on a Macintosh it's MacOS. And here's the exciting hit - there's a new vernon at Mat.OS out. fully justified The simple (ad is that most people don't caw what sits under the bonnet of their computer as characteristic Arkansas drawl. long as it does what it is supposed to. But the This poetic paradox about King Clinton shows where we can stick a cigar whilst chief witch hunter Kenneth Starr loses appeal time for caring is here. With Version 8.5, Apple Hussein has curious parallels with have released a whole new set of gadgets that'll the President's own situation. many of his political opponcnis, sick of hearing their elected seems harsh considering he was speed up your life and make it more Inn. Clinton's reputation, which was including his tormentor-, n-ch representatives to Washington cm!) expressing a view shared by Take, for example, Sherlock - the flagship of once meagre and frail, has Stan. and his ideological lice. debating the intricacies of legal most of his fellow countrymen. this new relcase - which can make finding things recovered from its nadir and is Newt Gingrich, have retreated to semantics. when they wish them to One commentator wrote that a easier. If, likc me. you find that everything you now on an upwards spiral. the political wilderness. This is a address meaningful issues like more appropriate response would have is in totally random places, Sherlock could politician whose status as a Great jobs, health. education and gun he to award him a medal. give you a hand. It can index your dove and look VEN more amazingly. he Survivor is fully justified. In terms control. Many resent that the cost far keywords in documents so even if you forget could yet emerge from this of stickahility there is no one like of the investigation, estimated at HE great shame about the what you called that leiter to Lin& Student, you Ewretched episode as the him, The wheels of history, which between S40 and $50 million, will whole impeachment process can search for Leeds Student and it'll show up, politician who has gained the were turning one way. are now he borne by the American Tis that it has detracted But the really clever hit is that it also acts as a most, or to horrew his terms. as turning the Other. Almost certain taxpayer. attention away from some very notable achievements by the front end for internet search engines. Anyone the largest and strongest character. defeat has been transformed into a At times like these, with who's tried looking for research information on It is-some irony that while triumphant victory. Monicagate spiralling out of present administration. If you look the 'net will know that thew is an an to getting journalists sere this week penning beyond the trite rhetoric and cliched slogans like "Preparing what you want quickly. Sherlock has already their obituaries of King Hussein. learnt that an and all you have to do is Clinton, who has endured so many America for the twenty first It is comforting to identify century". Clinton's policies have manrogate in plain English, So "When: can I premature political obituaries. produced the goods in key areas - find news and information about student life in seems to has c overcome the final 67per cent of Americans approve Leeds' will. idler asking all the major search round of the Republican offense.. of his performance as President engines. bring you to the &a& Student wch to displace him. sporadic outbreaks of common page. Unemployment is at its lowest During the upheaval of the past level since 1957, and for the first There are oodles of other features ern tuned year. Clinton has been hounded by time in 30 years the budget is into the new release such as nice new scroll bars. Ken Starr, vilified by the media sense in Washington balanced, and America is really fact networking (and it is incredibly zippy) and impeached by Congress. The expecting to run surpluses for [la- and extra goodies Iike Internet Explorer. Quick end has appeared imminent on control, it is comforting to islentit> nes t 25 years, in foreign affairs, Time 3.0 Pm and so on. numerous occasions. particularly Ordinary Americans tarn to sporadic outbreaks of common Clinton's stewardship has seen There is a saying in the computer industry - if when news of the affair with consign the whole impeachment to sense in Washington. America take a leading role in the you want to know what Microsoft will he doing Monica first broke in January the dustbin of history. The results Last week, one spectator at the peace negotiations in the Middle in two years tune, take a look at what's on the 1948. and seven months later. of the mid-term elections in Senate trial rose from his scat in East. Northern Wand and the Apple now. And if Microsoft do half the things when the President shamefully November 1998. when the Democrats made slight gains in the public gallery to exclaim. Balkans. In the remaining two Apple have to improve Mae0s, they may well admitted to having an the House, showed that the public "God Almighty. lake the vote and years of his presidency. Clinton find that Win99 is not as much of a let down as "inappropriate relationship" with does nut want to see the back of get it over with." The miscreant is has a chance to salvage his Win98 was. the young intern. likely to receive a line and 60 days reputation and to secure his place Andy Ks& While Clinton remains Clinton. In truth. Americans arc rather in jail for disrupting Congress. It in history for the right reasons. ensconced in the White House.

43

ELECTIONS Leeds Student, Friday February 12 1999 I ection specia 1112( It's union election time, and the candidates present their manifestos for you to dissect. Cast your vote at LUU any time between February 16 and 18

FINANCE & ADMINISTRATION OFFICER SPORTS OFFICER SERVICES OFFICER

A ileslicateri curmnitted and Inrodly ikrst-r-• Flistncy a n we Inert ,rote kw Cotr.gr_ the quake: needed in be u successful si.slo ?am SIMON ROTHSTEIN It DANIEL LEVY GEORGE LAWTON wilt out ytnr Kith, inlet. I feel I inn tiler y/JILL the oodran• ai no.i PM, priatmaif anythill4 wasit.lxmetil- it 11C. m the wmag.everigive bete orate gra pow. I Ye powthee sports I ri.e.enlailen 11 s the nest gri and pcidwilT, .bn.da Winnow eking Winn alWayikaen to plane. mime sk fain#SUIIXIM yon. &Jab ,ataam and 4,10crni, Ill SA ft•Aqiya.w clmbave; Itto midi if you wank/Ise Ills AninklinnItifithelnalayof represaintathe for the unosthats. I haw rhw admin. fob ret,tntlybisIntehentleeincr and the Mena pn/Widiali MU be the hunt ytarv necessary exisnerne.uid knowledgexl he spud, e finder andatgaced tichee. And I ni 11 .Ake Arun offitei I will can 'pulp m IriliWGIM all sp no eket hank. hty11 tenlYallitz• ynall tamer kel arh! ;;!., betrayal• h i yd 'gam thee with sunn.11111101131:10 hal hues al LODI. univerat . incituling croutiamtig Ortelal I Will hcill cone students &Me admit onselflocau r Ler pluiall•st. runic I, Ile fight lie the kia Miming p ed. while also yaw heals And you will Innately icing 6. keep Van Wen Lay alientsMs Iree (in i'logrrial and numwonhy. ('in Ening in lap lkIr ,Sinatn.and no polkas see Mare am pulp year, au &VI hen fool vole for fleolge, tha von. and croalraging spno by arcryroe.Vote t e's run lies • vote- r/v you' thAtting In kw,

Teeunion to the Incunent sadly ninon* the Ae Istria turn, !tear leokink ft • nunetal• wen, E3prrielwc 2 'limn 4tti orlon mural And L.abten gterestunett.`All 34In and no 61Itrulilke CHRISTIAN HOGSBJERG SOPHIE FOOT will pros open friendly ab•ice lot you and DUNCAN PEARSON t-inviroritneatil and Ethical osrianittee, - cfalostrii0 bydre South Falk inattenond yoor (Auk with a knowleduc of what you is with the tau tia, r 4erticea naii:VD:11.710w the leb-, I cestatihniersal game! meeting. ■ spurts wren want from this univvraty. have a al Mime knowledge °, main ervion akid A dm Fri demorzucv • A matarive venison w,. an irklinive wum aft I nave brat a desikated member of the women, paw) C.017.1111Uuerin Ti. fat Mechlin. orate lir Dew Minh CIA.Z1411111 waited tutelary tillsb cuntlthlift by the rft.t Iwo loco'' ri /. its 54. with .tineriativeliall inlpn..c anTermarkethetayal of Nast a ite4k Inidepenckhir Tht, luki ggars tie a email insight irplu NO.% our 111-.1110 I J1.4‘[.. and secia-jt)-, T. I ntairx students • /tamp .et eked tops at the unit? quietly. wr.icvt: and the new Mn Id i og rp,orti•4 (avatars pante-a. id Willi 4.1% vs ant Mona As a SW SS tneinhur., I will tight If tin:hat both want fowl damn number oft:Ma:hi mid ens iroeunental intent' %wino flbt ns,u naticioatt , 1111, or IT •cll I awn appn c/. lial,ft itnoll; I o.insidtr illy. kka.l It in such at lir linil...:11.14.•% In. emtuctit in the Iv time ,undeno ken, I t tt • in le a vunlyiLillty for the role arf sTa olfuer arm-, tt3AC ate IRO . GratAintiX MIMS tarsi F0.111 ustw nrd ulhl stint 11P,I1 lu, the /nod t', tuft and 'Ole New Nut hur, titieradly is only' die fa,: ruovaling drop. healthy awl ctincul option/41a tiglehm.:1 posvits mid .411span ISR in a valuable itervaz racism. Figerienx is invaluable Nile FhiaCad

1171. 0:11_ n! S.,1111,, I :1 I. 4 'a tr,.1:11 -,,' COMMUNICATIONS OFFICER SOCIETIES OFFICER DACRE STAINES orl cii2vm,sli s.tudcni I lid.: tied n y Nue,11 .nhl [lifted will' lowing Sky Mate Like Il. sceirlir, and eselas. I tench to niakc hunger juntkang, 11)mugh leadership, orginnation JUDE CORRIGAN rreau, uy, dede-ath.h.aed ecru LUKE ROBINS-GRACE sure ' get the mist! out of YOUR Nutrias Thur's and naanaekier I have devehiped taint sp ill, males hide your euntrnunutatione candidate till it plain arid aimpIe bringing among I Ann to obtain un owed mane your unit:ar. Stye pi t*stp Oat VIII a Mee fur me mad I will =Rot you gin Wirt extra sponsor and use mutt funds to orp,anive an ■ fee say In 0/110n and driving voactios, no matter how Mg. unall, ilittrnatittiral ohherwitymula >puns compditi wr affairs, after all. Os grim, Iff, Y v ore write or Wifildetfilt abeuthl. =prove upivurtuni nes for doubled thar paying for il. SO JUDE ...... arced We Gin van to mike Ihingv SlUckfil flevelt$1 is to my agenda. I soaleuls sill isr....xlerste II1e withirning pool better have tan afinU,... Manna and a risraCtiSt caunpaign I am enthinlital to developing /thigh =We. I allend rn giVelIMUILI C.fiCaltagetnenl In pntfik worts at:slim through enduninam, taint fICSS sd)iit•ic, and Will IsOnfide IIVrtZ Nen kts rn work and I urc the eau we already have Sociena. And canine are what make YOUR unreal GREAT. Make it funky - Vole Luke • Spain and Events WELFARE OFFICER

Mori Stlidirril■trit the interne KM Why vote fur me? Whilst a university I have been involved with why decant the tInion max the mot of u.' I JAMES MERCER rut open mitkiecl and keen to promote a positive LAURA JENNER iughtime as a volunteer and day group leader, The plan to use fr113IC rarie ARPft.k within the unin. experience had made me aware of the variety of to the union, The widaate is under medulla I cas I've an up and thawed a lacier', and held iota% then =dents fax today, So..— eat my 1161.1 sloth: to update it Its ?Moll. tamunitX positions in .Users. air I know de 'rod Need a pert -tine joke rutunge an coattuyirent rake union r•inmunicannes ono the 21,i tape' side of tiling% and will help volt work within bur Feeling discrinunnied iignin4? the cumin It I'vejlat CO Varibtis nights and routh..ini.1 kit ,s 'swum at an uwarcat“ diry. what a takes to [lake theinn sucieoful WWI wouMn't horn couldn't pan lm .Iriukiag will_ DaYekT nuramilm, •II dr. crml y wad uuu•U). during HUM work' Ill tel ur all .vonnyo oalc • .Cicik-4; Make sncierin oiorr ecc,bir An intern:limn:al student'? I'll pi ■shive a diwoorl t •, Work ...cesium tut you den ach...hii! PrvaiNed, I'll lislen in %ILO MI !teed i oily vl'vuut lenity nil, ' ttr I. iirc their Wens" Max Laura fly WcIfirtr.

NADAAV SOUDRY I. ..1:1,,16 r71. iii IAN GILSON RUTH BENNET • • 41 . ■I '

;;:1,111 I:‘,11.111.' •,11 ukase th.-1.,,o, 11 wit. mil, all Ibis Ah.1 Ili In hal 1.11.11 lie tNnglt- -•N,le Roth Ft,e,,et, I tot 0-Owe WOMEN'S OFFICER

F.0 da .0 et ..tai kth,e. It (Awed we/1.4.c Irlh n, I si 111 mac ficiuLq.'r"0,v Home a lire (ttexperience In NILS teittlenal SIMON PLATT :ohne for v0,1 SADIE ROBINSON .at.. sir,, trtlack, olt uhr.111. ii. l cry fI atantl• PENNY BROWNBRIDGE repot slat or af.t \'I.IS conteatlar ■14M.1. yens hone lo Ints1 the ',him 1 ',ay that I am rtuk.inumhiciloti i.f roc.,1111x1 the as.Ilfrit.fi of the easy in Hind the nide TICTnr41 gncin Out 473:1./U hatlihrtl Ilan UILI ,11 • II lu UMn Uul escry/Ple bctie111/. r.lewlty (Dun :rnditng iu I 4',144,1,111% ,Irtvran! ef suntraieprion, siK101.10. inn■yrrilni 14411 141:. to thew to ra I altentattve as •FLthl

44

...... ^ 5.C• Leeds Student, Friday February 12 1999 ELECTIONS 21

EDUCATION OFFICER LEEDS STUDENT EDITOR STEVENMAS ON lb I'm Steven Mason and I'm u fire swat Interiunninal Weary and Politics Student. i have a loam men% in Student Pointe* and if elected to Cordensice. I tiering feuded he lmnir Sonia* kit throe years, I No I for Ecluerrune istfKV/ ritCatba: MATT GENEVER Intend to nuke two that far tail Icitx arc paved. It is my arm to ensure that the MARGARET BENNETT aen aware bins impales eat Wowing utt.a interests Of all sn glans are looked abet I hem iwo years expenetier wonting on Uniegi manifesto plestges usually arc_ also ernicriaic jut owned and know how dr union is nas. MAN Louth We low typing them in and !valise thin si bola daar I will isnik ti mints Arra/nation for extra corneae they are sinnething the our nsadonta aci,vities within the KC, duck Itiey alms Import= in huh." how ROBERT KANTER Will LaTipciltn fae a reruns .endetit npneserann ci many manses aindsclanis aran into a hundred My name ft Robert Kanter and tarn it first year History student at the offlial 'Murano tonne-O. wools. With the sod. I'll Ow !run .ate vine for Ric University.My clioiee of politic* electives has enhanced my own concerns for ctrl 1'ti try a nut)! Anikrit dawarlaper I will cietime my support kr the rake ot istrt time rip to give you i5stia-5 anti I see NUS conference ax the ideal platform to dinkarsa and ■Acktio4 Ma Oarittc nal by Aldenti scuilena‘ ndsh-rss vital INCUCS that effect all students, I will fight for otia all locrkumuort Orr an nudinut i"ai Ire CHANTAL REFAHI I'm all ilahgutriIun SWAIM 011141digg with no conneatons co any pkilleawl puny. 1(10 however have ening views on him= rights, lice education and the Ole ilintital Catlfiliie of Lord.Stutiani twi I Vial to Tx your olorallun NAVEED RAJA n en vironmein and an lira bestow ni express them. I'm enthieuaste ku learn how tveitme wi'm ina-mal settled arid live van es-Kra:rice vocal and to add to my previous involvement in onion ,letieitiel. NICHOLAS GREENHALGH cOnOancil Ittai oUdeci, ice :trot rex 112N WI; tliki Jen' lb all aspects annul:bur and pnxilwatit the they to A litrf,^c BIN' [ .l:4 new isitcre. I oitula offer u (4rJirhoesiw occur sty. beet! mat the I 'ottvcroli rr-r, k- kimpotrior t %uni oro t.n help. oLska: a I min dial t ap 51y pcmortbi, diffctIn3 ,311,411S, 1-npel DAVID DANZIG -Itt.,Ararlt‘g ■std.fUsu.6.1r.ill itsighet 11111111 iin12111111 ■,/ imput to Onet My name Is 1)45'11i 1.71.1r1LIg amid I stn N second yimr Man Stnileill. Asa ch.lAoll --CotrogLatEning I4 /moo I) 'W.I., (S.f..3),.1.,411,y,, .....J.I.1,r11,321,1 I'd 1Ilake 0.110 ;Mohr-LI Ill crsity aux,. I hots: Ili Ku• to the Icri9 NL:S 4-iertirrE: UTAkrt..nn11141.1 tor a L. .h.).- .1,t11! conlet-5,n5o pinto pint: In [ill KY taUlltal g,rru 4/1 111C wationt , a:1cm Lir I were t:• .! phial the ,cla 511 - I Am .1::.111i1,1 I L11111.1111....". Ji 1,1 CHRISTIAN HOGSBIERC .r-,1 II :1051e-it 11,1..12. eiwore Ilk- .inger 1...loolit • 1.0: „mama, is • • tot '4i 'ti octal, Ix- .11101111W i/1111.111.11114 11,-1 drfi-.14.1.- Iww aita.-Itt. tr., Nut agittla Ala Icta ,0varts. tool :al: J I ....ran.) TIM DALY I o'li-111 I111N71%.!?; I bel eve itutatdeo SANTIAGO VIGNOLI --utwirense Oen . IggirekkagnIblefiki lo SADIE ROBINSON ifil=10n1115t1201411MV1104141111170,1fleaa aa franithlsyear.Ahwithink #14 taltknbs Iatidialexenaggiconanut over thr et mid as. anti rrsIL,c, goc, 1.1,..e Sit my 11,0 oftiol I Ins the 'Ciriseicly liastanls• arid Jefcraleitss haste right 11•111114.4; I NI, }} kntliktJ 1.1,.-...111■k1/1 IICTIPIr4Mi•KIn in tielFicla, Lublin end Lkshitil JULIE SIMON littanic i andcreand that idcw roil eetions arc hods 0- 11.11 ',O.: f'r ■ - tbIleardavasnaravini Andy, 1 bewas mods tarn i ••1‘,T1. -. .111k1;1. guadand frareatlealion wait 'tier bdp ant him, !, I J, 011.4; l' I , !I, '111.1;1 OTHER CANDIDATES ACTION CO-ORDINATOR LOUISE ARWAS ROB ALEY ORLANDO MARTINS My name to Loinse Ar.vas and I Jul u first year. Politics nail I:alimentary Studies student. I would like to attend eamlerenix I iuvse I warn to have a say Invoiced in action tinougiami my unwersir) career. 1 RAG COORDINATOR SOCIETIES OFFICER ESTILL E WEITZ arn iaerrently cin•Orditiiitut Ley Cortuillaire In,—old ensure. student welfare. 1 feel that I Ira+ c 'Mach .141thisiltac on hrltalf the Leeds !merit') iind fundraiser. Previnwsly hip c ADAM RATTNER Sillalelti tilimmuruty. undertaiica voluntary it di with eating Alia Lictaren with piniiical eta terming titoiliie, ea! the NUS CONFERENCE wiwtrw 'putty lt lubfertihit Wilk: tsrocli5-1-al PENNY BROWNBRIDGE rit adini If&vied I will imam' talecu5a running oi ext5iing 1ml:cab. rind develfr roantsing l am an es perunwed political talcL having attended NUS conference '97 & acount pone in Mr commit Oa, .4/1,1 ,-:1!Irr 1,0,11 I intend tn. Fight for Mx education Fr.alicate sexism within the NUS,. 0134p p1111.1.142bAlt..kl‘o I WL1.1 • I. Derrioenuise ,'US s as many eat Maim Labour studgam floss& ituanallyNuprxilafliintaplIti.411tisit1W hcor.ficial S.1?J1I-0.',1:ig NUS CONFERENCE DELEGATES 01,11 of office Voie Penny No I mierebd electrum, I Ain (1117.07tlia.1CdflilltLlie...011ff A enthusiaiak co-insfiteilor - Mte NICHOLAS GREItiOALGH BEN MYERS oung for rue enionft you have n tkkrautc who is inelefeadmil apolitical 111111111-11111 year tiff' student. I with to go h. NUS Conference to he anent pattita, whititakainal will act lady in 1•0I IR imams. I believe* Free v orees ot Leeds Students. Air aims are not only rn represan the needs of education; roams; Holding the N-1.3S hl uccount: Acting sole y for the benefits shs..b.:ntii on this caroms. IAA its push for inept ewilneetb: to !MOON weft NIGHTLINE CO-ORDINATOR of Leetla Students. Mite Nieboinsfireenhulgh NO I Iii going to conferente. I will unerupt to aebtive this ou students in Leeds.

Ac the enemas, cloaca i...--anaktatc. I fr.rl Ilan HOWARD JOSEPHS LUCY WALL LUCY CHMIEIIWSKI have the csr

Followingest internal election 1 have ha, NEIL COMMONS forward lig PAM LSR &miner. Through, so rn,, HELEN ASPEI.L LUKE ROBINS-GRACE anivemity mart I have maintained a highly ami AN a Lorinnitted metuher of the union and u firm tidiest!. in the right for !tee ant I have also I WU standing to become NUS Nainnuil Treasurer and am supponal nationally mit ua LSR. For the past two r gin or make a superb confamar deligaw hi this bland era of national bean heat of music. My caporteace and atioynitat by ova sixty Snicked Il.reatalS. I behove that in (rola tor NTS to be eilileatil in i will we need people who will staid up fur your pociples. Mite Lute - NI'S ofWorlougatFSRhaveatevilim4 no 30 am tor beerime mom effective in irmesmiting you, we mum reform its finances so that pt Jas now it can work for the beneth of all students. (Wiggle. 1 intend to more elfrativiy tap Intuit* peol u4 =skull icsoiarrt merrier s deamialcally unpruccd *emu for both studentsend the widereummantty. ORME MEL REBECCA ZINOBER Tltosigh vaiioning mein the lthasoming ged and I first year Maths stiskrit I want to go to NUS My want 15 Rebecen Zionfer. i am a second year physics student and I would ro arid My minx. is Gat», han inn • elvanatamwilbevian ! glot became I feel stringly about and watit to induce= student like to go to the NUS einferear to flistuscot students and input dew thur passnanag.Stanon Ivlan4er Canktrater 944 polities. I would also like to have an impact on the most important body come front our student o immunity representing the susienei ul Leeds

NICOLA KENNY CLAUDIA PEREJRA-MENDOZA 101 CAVE I -En 5aa. Sol the ..itialanatim that has ham As s fnetIther nt NLS policy commit= writing the moon sent to ainferents. My name is On . ha prior:1•'0E11(6mA and I am 4 ,cents year 51O4211t. 1 551.1111 Ire ainegths are in resianmenikT1 hy ISR. toy with two years of commitment in Ltil I and previous conference title:jinx: go to NUS conts-rinter. Monica to represent the needs of Ow Lwals students . I communication' In mu Lie I hair a working that I out make a vlituahle ovombutiou In the I ,errls Strident ,a alumni!). knowledge du notary, In ales I am have the enthusiasm and knowledge to take. vow rr ite to (Autry-fence. kiss% involves! hi mete:mg OK: annuli rind racniiithent Let MC he your representative, Vote Nteola Kenny• NUTITher I T. 1 hoe fikoke4 to other ualleges a, get peontr invotied ts one of the bust maim! rads %Mimi In the country and I ani Actaininecl NICOLA KENNY RACHEL WAGNER on 411-air unit Inwhirlimaun auu lay As. a triellika ill NUS policy taintrnitee writing the mount' sent In conlenitrix, FIT: Rachel Wag= and nu a scrotal yew- psychnlop student. I am liven to:rerun in ail ol Lessa; rrniversino. laid to of commitusent to Lllt: and pervious confornee experience: I surreal), as independent student olflar on the union +mufti!, and would like to g with two years Moine rer lidenentlip as 1.‘R n both rewardin have the enthiekism and k-newlodge to take your vow to anifetence_ make a aintribution ul student politks on a Amami kw). and amuses, far our cameninits. Let roe be your representative. Mite Ntenla Kenny Number I!

t...■1■•■• ■•■_,,o,,.■1111111.11- SPORT Leeds Student, Friday February 12 1999 3WN GOAL PLUCKY JEDI SUFFER LAST GASP DESPAIR IN TIGHT FINAL ENCOUNTER Don't blame Sergeant Wilko for our defeat

0 HOIAARD Wilktwun as iu the team, but ultimately is up for criticism for it is down to the players to SEngland's 2-0 defeat perform on the pitch. ,igamst France on Wednesday, It's so much easier to be w ise He chose a liras y arsenal fur after the event The England the defence in picking the Mani-Mee', spot is A thankless mainstays of thc(itioners' back task, at leas) in this eh ni ate. four. The World Cup champions I'S great to finally see an remained undaunted, managing international wrist splinter to blast I wit into the net in a Istaking the headlines for the match that could hardly he right reasons. described as exciting. Mutt tah Muralit hat an of Sri Wilkinson's tactic was viewed Lanka has recei► ed much by many as fairing, and it didn't coverage recently for throwing pay off. Managets are always the hall. Allegedly.. going 10 he held responsible for Aussie Share Wame has been their team's performance no exposed of late for his matter what they do. involvement in bribery. But had the Arsenal rearguard Allegedly. been mated, England may have So everyone must say thank lost by a bigger margin. you and congratulations, Anil Then the public would have Kumble for claiming all ten asked why the Gunners weren't wickets in a Test Match innings.

playing and they would have The Indian player bagged all • _ noted, smugly, that Arsenal's ten victims in Pakistan's second COME TOGETHER: Jedi finish runners up after their hard fought final against a strong Edinburgh side Pic. Anthony Proctor hack defence has conceded only innings on Sunday, with deserved l Premiership goals this season. figures of 10-49. This feat has been equalled only once in Test Match history by England's Jim Laker. Characteristically. Kumble was humble in brushing oft' his Ultimate heartache momentous triumph. His dismissive comment that "I'm just lucky,"confirtned his attractive modesty. UT it was not just Kumble for brave Jedi stars who managed to he Bcharming at New Delhi. next game against the eighth automatically qualify for the Edinburgh's first team stood Prior to Pakistan's struggle ULTIMATE FRISBEE seeds also from Edinburgh. It National Student Finals. They between Jedi and cup glory. Jedi to avoid his serpentine howling. NORTHERN FINALS proved to he the hardest game also displayed the impressive knew they had to overcome both the Indian authorities had their 2nd - JEDI WARRIORS of the group record of conceding only nine the opposition and a vociferous own slippery difficulties to cope The Scottish side started a points and scoring a massive 49 home crowd to emerge as victors. with. spirited comeback and had Jedi points. Edinburgh received the disc Hissing was audible as sneaky BY ANTHONY PROCTER rattled, causing numerous The semi-final game against from the start, but strung Howard Wilkinson just did snake owners threatened to turnovers. However. they soon Reservoir Fish from Lancaster defensive play by Jedi forced what he thought was best. He disrupt the Pakistani fielding JEDi hooked a place in the regained their composure and proved to be Jedi's first real test. the error and afterqUick turnover admitted before the game that by throwing their poisonous HUE National Student took the game 8-5. The crack Lancastrian.side had Jedi took the lead. it was a risk to change the pets on the field. Charming. Finals after finishing A comfortable win over taken the number one seeding Edinburgh soon equalised formation. What some people w ill do for runners up to hosts Shooting Stars saw Jedi book from Glasgow in their quarter- and the two teams traded points But at least the caretaker a laugh. Edinburgh. an automatic place for the quaner- final until the Scottish outfit took the manager knew when to he It's a good ,job this didn't Seeded fourth, Jedi drew a finals against their earlier victims Once again Jedi started well advantage 64. The home support guarded in his comments, which happen in England. The prospect tough group. which included Ro-Shiim-Bo IV. who surprisingly forcing an early lead of 4-1. At seemed to affect Jedi as they lost is more than can he said for of powerhouse stewards having two out of the four Edinburgh emerged as victors from the 5th- this point Lancaster started to concentration at crucial times. someone whose name doesn't to rugby tackle loads of snakes outfits but showed no signs of I place play-oil. rally hack putting increasing A spirited fightback was not need to he mentioned such has isn't one worth thinking about. nerves dispatching 16th seeds Jedi eased past their opponents pressure on Jedi levelling the enough and the two point deficit been But fortunately the Indian the media circus of late. Ro-Sham-Bo IV fait Edinburgh. with the same degree of scores at 6-6. proved beyond kill. France's Emmanuel Petit authorities knew the men for with consummate ease and the ruthlessness they had displayed Jedi's experience from the Defeat can soon he avenged said before the game. that the the job. They wriggled out of it added bonus of not conceding before, against aside lacking in National Finals last year proved in the National Finals held at French only had to turn up to potentially dangerous situation a single point. ideas, invaluable as they kept their cool LUC Sports Centre, February win. And win they did. by contacting twenty snake .Jedi took an early lead in the fits k it:tor!. ,,ass Jedi taking the game I 1-8. It is this kind of confidence charmers from local villages that England needed and not the who slipped into the ground just huge focus on Glenn Huddle's in case. Phew. demise. The manager has the Jennifer Thompson Tae-jitsu make the grade Spolton's squash spot on ODDS ON: The two Sunday FA to upstage his his old strike ALL ten members oldie LMUSLI obviously delighted with the day's CLARE Spotton has achieved a her matched against the Cup matches offer very interesting partner. irenai Tae-jitsu club succes$tiilly proceedings. "I am very proud of notable British Universities Northumbria player she had betting prospects. Fulham lace Man Uhl who prise! their !kV gliding last weekend. each individual's achievements riot ranking of 11 after last weekend's previously beaten In November. Odds On 's recommended are in awesome form at the The students maintained a high only in the grading bin in their overall England National Squash In a closely fought game choices Leeds and Blackburn moment, but the Cuttagers are level perfonnance of arildng. kicking performance. They are progressing Championships. Spolum came out on the wrong both face Premiership opposition a massive 1011 with Ladbrokes and geneml self-defence techniquoi. well.- Spolton was the truly end of a tight encounter losing in the form of Spurs and and Peschilido is a very generous Throughout their first grading The recentl y stablished club is player to progress into the last 3-1. Newcastle respectively. 14/1 to be first goalscorer. the club demonstrated a strong always open to new members and 16 after the qualifiers in December. She gained some Blackburn are 3/1 but the Solskjaer looks certain to knowledge and awareness of what are preparing for upcoming She drew two West of England compensation. winning easily draw at 9/4 looks the more likely start after his four goal hilt last was required at this level which cornpetit tines. tuitional COUNCS all opponents, winning and losing against Cardiff in the 11/12 place result, Sutton (6/1i and Shearer weekend and despite carrying belied their inespencnce. future-gra:Imp. If interested contact both 3-0. playoff only conceding two points (7/21 are the two favourites to the skinny odds of 3/1 is also Instructor Rob Cook was the LMUSU Sports Office. Her final group match saw throughout the game. he first goalscorer. Take Sutton worth a look. F 46 ...... Leeds Student, Friday February 12 1999 SPORT 23ax•

WEEKEND FOOTBALL FIXTURES

I H1DAV FE11141 %RN 12 Bridge the world \anima ide Division Tao t-oath-4., r wiguni7 45;

Nationwide Division Three DAVID KITSON and Neil Renwick Th.:111We r Hutt r7 451 emerged victors winning all STUDENT BRIDGE FESTIVAL TRIUMPH Matches of the multiple teams LUU BRIDGE CLUB s y It RDA% FEHRLARY 13 competition A ('up 5111 Round R) played host to the annual festival BY ANDREW HARDY sreoicki with over 60 players from sewn 1141-n,1,∎ • Bri•lot unj,, erst tic+ taking part. It was the biggest OM ye rhttr. UACI14.11 t ,P,•1111 ) its kind so far and the highlight crds • '1. nreul:wu es eel of Despite the drop in the standard from I of the university bridge calendar the previous round. LUU failed to make I r,..!,. All standards of players were present, their mark and players from York and from junior internationa/s to complete Edinburgh took the honours. I. 1 Carling Prrinirrship beginners. Captain Sarah McMullen was pleased The multiple trams competition with the way the weekend turned nut consisted of two regular partnerships "This weekend was kindly sponsored ‘..tli,an■t lit(' )Itt- from different universities. Fourteen by the LUU, Hardy. Miles and Tittertutt Is, • I .r - teams took purl and Ritson and Renwick solicitors, and Towle'. and Starnes Lid partnered by London students. finished which enabled us to fully subsidise the undefeated. visitor's travel expenses. The Wowing round saw a 26 hoard "Overall. this was an excellent pairs competition where partners are wockend and it gave a relaxed atmosphere randomly selected to give everyone the for bridge players from around the country chance to partner a player from another to meet" PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT: LUU enjoy mixed success at the Annual bridge festival Nationwide Division "I'v,41 R v Mnn ('iii 'Stanley v Reading irrnmin s Millerah Won v Wrsidnun Macriclfirlit v 0141hinn Nonturriptrai r Gillingham Nniu Cnunly s 11101;410411 pain r Wywmhe Wilkinson crosses swords Yolk Wals411 Nationwide Division Three Harrel VICTORIA WILKINSON starred for 1,11141.1!, BUSA CROSS COUNTRY CHAMPIONSHIPS Itrwt,hnt racier I.MUSU finishing a creditable fifth position t amhrldr Y SLM1111011V in the BUSA cross country championships. LMUSU AND LUU (11r,Wr Prie,h0f011gtt tiafliat t Son111M1 Wilkinson finished only fifty seconds N Darlington behind eventual winner Tara Kravwicki Man..11e1av trviattOrtritt from BY VICTORIA WILKINSON Plylvhttol► Roslierhurn Loughborough University. SIness,,hun, v Scart..•migh After an exciting race over the wooded but AND SIMON DEAKIN Carlisle flat six kilometre course. unsurprisingly it was Loughborough who claimed the top two Andy Beevers was slightly hampered by Si ND FERRIVARN 14 spots and the team gold with four athletes in the plaster cast on his broken hand. Nevertheless the top ten. he managed to run a positive race and kept FA Cup 5th Round Man I. Yet Wilkinson's effort is all the more touch in the top 15 For most of the race. I Fulham remarkable when you consider that she 44 as However, he faded in the final mile as the the only representative to be provided by speed of his rivals told. Nevertheless his LMUSU for either the women's or the men's performance was respectable as he held onto 100 GREATEST categories. 21st spot. LUU, however, took strong teams to the Chris Burchill 78th, Tome Suokanto 91st, BUSA cross country meet and came out with Vernon Phoenix 113th, A idan Adams II9th SPORTING a creditable performance in the men's and and Richard Conk 125th were the remaining women's races. LUU finishers. MOMENTS The men had started the season with high The team despite ifs weaknesses managed By Gareth Gibbon hopes of improving on the previous year's a creditable eighth place, which the club were third place but were undone on the day by a not too despondent about. No.70: REDMOND HEARTACHE Lois Joslin again proved the star of the series of injuries, illnesses and had luck. GREA'l sporting moments women's team as she has all season and ran Martin Gostling, one of the club's strongest often conjure up visions of runners, was unable to start and Simon Deakin aggressively throughout the 5.5 kilometre race. She produced a good performance against spectacular team or was involved in an unfortunate accident a mile personal glories. People top competition finishing in 23rd place. Ruth into the race. This forced him to pull out when attribute success to Schofield 86th, Maria Thomas 90th and Celia usually well-placed. breaking world records and De Maria 109th were the other finishers in Alan Buckley fared rather better and was winning silverware. the II th placed team. one of only three runners to keep pace with But sport should also he The quality' of the athletes w as exceptionally Loughborough. associated with desire, Buckley hung on for a superb eighth place. high this year and Loughborough athletes again took the majority of the medals. determination and commitment. THE HEAT IS ON: LMUSU and LUU compete in a close run event which confirmed his recent good form. All of which qualities can he attributed to tragic hero Derek continued from back page Only the goalkeeping heroics keeper. Redmond. of James Beard and the James Beard offered a During the 1992 Barcelona Olympics. Redmond had taken the open target enthusiastic crowd prevented glimmer of hope with a diving the 4(X) metre heats by storm and A frantic second hull saw LUU from falling further behind. save. only for Ben Leach to miss BUSA RESULTS w a.s among the favourites for the three bookings for Durham as But in the dying seconds, the target altogether. Limit Joe Walker caused havoc down Ben Leach slummed a penalty Coach Andy Milner blamed MEN'S BADMINTON MEN'S HOCKEY however. seeonds into the the right hand side and eomhined corner into the diving keeper a depleted squad for the unlucky LUU 2ND-9 El. teter—.9 LUU Derby.....1 (Derby race Redmond's hamstring well with the mazy dribbling of and Joe Walker pounced to defeat, as LUU crash Out of the won 4-1 on penalty flicks) collapsed and along with it went lain limes. squeeze home the equaliser and BUSA Cup before the quarter MEN'SCROSS IMUSU 3rd.-.12 Britain's hopes of a Gold medal. 011ie Brown threatened on spark mass celebration on the final stage: Out of the Olympics and twig the left but shot LUU wasted sidelines. "We've got a lot of injuries. COUNTRY shy WOMEN'S HOCKEY agony and tears. Redmond The blood, sweat and tears Richard Gill's pulled his LUU—..8th position their penalty corners and were LUU 3rd— .3 Exeter.--/ tined endeavoured to finish the race forced to lake the game into of a thrilling hockey match was hamstring and he plays for on penalty flicks) aided by the shoulder of his father, extra time. to he decided by the cruelest of Doncaster in the National WOMEN'S CROSS LMUSU 3rd.— 5 Bristol-0 who was determintal his SAID Would penalty shoot outs, League. he would have made Durham were equally COUNTRY complete the course whether dangerous and on the stroke lain lanes stepped up first all the difference." LUU.-11T11 position injured or not. and sent an unstoppable drive However captain Ian Craven NETBALL. of the extra time interval the He did so and the spirit and past the stranded keeper. remained upbeat saying: We IMUSU 1st--40 Edge visitors made the first WOMEN'S FOOTHAI.J.. pride of a true hero was seen by however, it was to be the only played really well and the game Hill.-42 breakthrough. LUU Edge 11111....4 all. succcsful flick. could have gone either way. Their tricky midfielder rode Sport is not just about money A Durham player scored into "We probably deserved to MEN'S RUGBY UNION a despairing challenge and took GOLF and success, it is the desire and the ball round the keeper to fire the top corner before Tom Leary. lose the shoot out as our luck LMU ST..-26 Liverpool. ..3 Met....0 commitment to work hard. even Adam Lockhean and Tom Dear was riding with us when we won LUU.-6 Manchester LMU 2nd...48 Liverpool-15 high and hard into the top left in the face of defeat. hand corner. had their shots blocked by the one last week."

a- 47

INSIDE Leeds Student 9 RT PERFECT 10

Anil Kumble's amazing feat couldn't have happened to a more deserving man

OWN GOAL Page 22

A DRAMATIC penalty shoot out saw LET MEN'S HOCKEY knocked out of the BUSA OURHAM....1 AET Shattered Sharks Cup after a ding-dong battle DURHAM WON 4-10N PENS Over 1,000 people which neither team A FANTASTIC second half deserved to lose. BY GARETH GIBBON performance saw the Celtics AMERICAN FOOTBALL every year are The defeat was made even as the home side failed to crush their diviannal rivals to LEEDS CW1CS..36 shay on COUFSC for the play-offs. HULL SHARKS...0 more galling as Joe Walker's clear and were penned back II sets up a tough season's recompensed for last gasp equaliser in extra to theirdefensive lines. Only finale for the Celtics who must their spare time time saved the game and sent the woodwork and woeful win their remaining two league BY STEVE MURRAY the vocal home support wild. finishing kept LUU on level games. They have particular tough into the endzont. Penalty misses by Ben terms, who missed the drive matches canting up with Scottish A stunning po-formance wzi Leach, Tom Dear. Adam and inspiration of centre half Champions Glasgow Tigers also put in by tailback Jay Lockheart and Tom Leary Richard Gill who fell victim next week before travelling to Alexander who rushed for 128 destroyed the home sides to a hamstring, injury. league leaders New castle on the yards and three touchdowns What do you do with last day of the regular season. on only 11 carries. hopes of silverware in the LUU provided the The game was tight in the However the most tightest and most dramatic highlight of the first half first half with both teams find* encouraging aspect of this your spare time? of encounters. when Ian Craven sent a it difficult to move the ball performance was that Leeds Neither side could break stunning 30 yard pass down but Leeds went into the hreld, recorded their first shutout of the deadlock in normal time the left flank for substitute up by 14. the campaign under the You could join them, and help us to develop the The game was then blown crowbar; of captain Nlark Hardy. as defences dominated and Nick Wickremesinghc to open by Danny Bowles 88-yard Legendary NFL coach Vince medicines of the future. forwards floundered. In a latch onto. He then beat his kick-off return which was the 1.i once said that offense tense opening to the game. marker and the keeper but signal for Leeds to really wins games but defense wins Durham pn-Nsurised the LUU was forced too wide to hit dominate. championships and the Leeds The scoring was rounded rearguard seems to be coming If you are over 18. a non-smoker and would like noahnouth with a string of off by Bryn Stevens who took good at precisely the right time. PAGE 23, COLUMN 3 more information, call our Recruitment department consecutive penalty corners homes 20-yard run, hurdling although time will telL

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