The Fifth Annual Giant Sized Annual [email protected] It has been five years since the first Awards, including second for Number One A Note on the Art Drink Tank appeared on eFanzines.com. Back Fan Face once, which was neat, and even This issue features wonderful pieces then, I was dating Genevieve (Evelyn’s Mom), had John Picacio know who I was before from Taral Wayne and Brad Foster. I love those was an Assistant Curator, was reading, on we had ever met. That was awesome. I won guys! I needed some more art though and I average, 10 books a year, attending 6 cons and TAFF, administered TAFF through a time of its figured the Bay Area Science Fiction Association was generally happy and having fun. In 2010, I’m greatest financial growth, and basically did a lot (BASFA) was a good place to dragoon people. completely smitten with the Lovely & Talented of fun stuff all over the place. The Art pieces you’ll see with the big 5s are all Linda, am a full curator, read 20+ books last I’ve met hundreds of amazing people. done at BASFA where I bought in photocopies year, attended a dozen conventions, put out That is no exaggeration. HUNDREDS! I feel and forced people to draw on them. I like the a bunch of issues of a bunch of fanzines and happy to have got to know people from a results! I even did a piece, which now makes generally find myself happy and having fun. The dozen countries, and I especially love the fact me eligible for the Hugo for Best Fan Artist. reasons are different, the result is the same. that I’ve got to know a few wonderful Brits That cover is from Mik eMcLaughlin, an artist The Drink Tank is still the zine that’s enough that I can go to Eastercon this year and who is just fantastic! closest to my heart, largely because it’s the know that there will be no lack of entertaining The articles in here are from a good zine that’s the most me. Yes, my voice has conversation or meal-eating. I’ve managed to bunch too! There’s a lot mor eme than normal, rung less in these pages over the last year, bring some new folks into writing or doing art but there’s also Vanessa Van Wagner, Jeff Boman but there’s still a lot of me in the entire thing. for fanzines. (who is up for DUFF!), Taral Wayne, and the Since the Drink Tank launched, I’ve also started And of course, there’s The Lovely & debut of Jason Wiener. It’s a good bunch. Claims Department (which will have a Five Talented Linda. She’s the best thing that’s Year Anniversary issue come April), was there happened to me, I’m sure of that. to become a co-editor of Science Fiction San This has been a busy time. Francisco (a post I’m stepping down from with I think that the Drink Tank has been the latest issue), L*I*S*P* (which I haven’t done a lot of fun, and I’m planning on keeping it up, in ages!), teamed up with James and Claire maybe not as weekly, but certainly pretty darn to do Journey Planet (which I really think has frequent. I love doing the Drink Tank, and I just become a special zine) and started Exhibition can’t see myself not doing it. It would be really Hall with Ariane and James. I’ve joined, and hard to stop. This issue sorta gives a feel for sadly left The eAPA, Everlasting Club, FAPA, what I’ve been doing over the last five years. I SNAPS, Stipple-APA and ANZAPA. I’m not as think if you’ve never read an issue before, this is much of a APAn as I’d like, though I’m going the one that’ll make it all come into focus. to dip my toe back in that pool at some point. So, this issue is dedicated to all y’all I’ve been a Toastmaster a couple of times, I’ve who’ve helped me through the last five years. been a Fan Guest of Honor, I’ve spoken at There are too many of you to mention. You cons around the country and at 3 different know that I couldn’t do this without you and I WorldCons. I’ve got 6 Hugo nominations, won wouldn’t even want to try. Best New Fan in the FAAn Awards, came in And, of course, this one, like all the with a few top five finishes for other FAAn previous issues, is for you, Pops. The fifth hole by Me My Five Favorite Issues blogs. The Train issue was also fantastic stuff. so the original cover, which was amazing, There’s no way around it: you’re gonna We’ve been doing Journey Planet with Claire, has never been seen. It has some fun art in have favorites. Yes, parents say they could never and that’s the zine I’ll probably be the most it, if you like 1⁄2 dressed women, including nd choose, but there’s always the obvious one. proud of when I’m in my 90s, and there’s always what I consider to be the 2 best piece I’m fairly certain that I’m my Mom’s fave, since Exhibition Hall, which is so much fun. These I’ve had used form Espana Sheriff (there’s there’s only the one of me. The Drink Tank, two right there are real close, but not quite top the cover for issue 182 which I think of which, let’s face it, is probably as close as I’ve five. as her masterpiece!). I think there was a ever come to giving birth, has its ups and its Here now, are my Top Five Issues of The lot of good writing on this one, including tremendous downs. Looking through all the Drink Tank pieces from Jean Martin, myself, M and former issues, I’ve determined that there are James Bacon. It’s got around 5k views on about 5 that I wouldn’t mind folks reading, and 5- 100 Words- issue 64 Scribd.com, which is I think the third most oddly enough, three of them are among the This was the first time I tried to do read thing of mine up there. most widely read of my issues. something wider than just the usual. I There are also issues that I know I’ve worked on getting folks to send me 100 3- The Vonnegut Issue going to do every year or so that turn out word pieces. I got stuff from all over the The death of Kurt Vonnegut was a big pretty good because they’ve got content built- place and it’s arguable that this was the first deal. He was the most significant writer in. Handicapping the Hugos is one. While I issue that any really noted as standing out in the development of my love of writing wasn’t dead-on this year (I think I got 6 right, from the rest. It was just slightly more than and science fiction. Well, maybe Hunter S. though a lot of my seconds came in first), it was a year after I started The Drink Tank. This Thompson. I’ve been aping him for years. one of the best issues from a slightly weaker has some fun layout than usual 2009. This Were WorldCons, and stuff. I loved doing the issues after I’ve been to a WorldCon or this one and I’ve often NASFiC where I review it, tend to be pretty thought about doing good. There’s the post-BayCon issues, the issue another one, but I’ve where I go over the National Film registry, the never managed. ones where a movie I’ve been waiting for finally comes out and I rave or blast it. Those are the 4- The Corset Issue- ones I wish wer the baseline for all Drink Tanks. Issue 150 Not quite making the list are the issues This one was a joy I’ve done with James Bacon as my co-pilot. and a terror. I had a The Watchmen Issue was a lot of fun (and if I ton of art that I got make the Hugo ballot again, that’ll be the one and in the permissions I submit for the Voter’s Packet) and I think phase, had a bunch there was better content in that issue than of folks say that they any other one I’ve done. It also got almost no couldn’t let me run the response, which I thought odd until I started stuff for one reason to put together the reviews I saw on people’s or another. It happens, The Vonnegut issue is far and away the 1- The Cocktail Issue 139 the Drink Tanks I’ve ever done. It was like most widely read issue of The Drink Tank Let’s start with the obvious: booze. It’s play, plain and simple. If some of the other with more than 13K reads. It’s got a list a part of fandom, and at times, I’ve been a issues were more engaging, some looked of contributors that I would die to have boozehound. There’s great art from Espana, better, but to me, none felt better than The again: Steven Silver, George Van Wagner, Mtt Mo Starkey, Frank Wu, and a bunch of Cocktail Issue. That’s what happens when Appleton, A very long piece from myself others gave art, Howeird, Dave Gallaher, you just do stuff. that I enjoy, some quotes from my Dad’s Kevin Roche, David Moyce, Claire Brialey, journals, a piece from John Purcell that’s Steve green and various others. It’s one of There are also my favorite covers. fun and Jeff Redmond. There’s also a really those issues that I look at and go, ‘That’s There’s the one of the woman in the PVC nice pieces of art, including a photo series pretty much what I thought it might be 40s dress hanging up rubber gloves. That from Espana that was a nice piece of layout when I started’. I loved doing this issue, and one’s cool, and there was a run in the 50s trickery. In many ways, 2007 was the peak it seemed to just flow out of me. I think where I did photo manips which were cute for The Drink Tank. 3 of the 5 issues on this required the least thought of any of but I found them entertaining! this list were from 2007 and I go back over those issues sometimes to remind myself that I really could do a good issue every week, if only the stars would align.

2- The Taral Wayne Rotsler Award Tribute- Issue 188 The cover is from Briana SpaceKat-Wu. That would seen odd since the content is completely dedicated to Taral Wayne’s art and his winning the Rotsler Award, but I’d said that I’d run it and everything sorta worked out like this. If I could do this kind of issue every time I put out an issue, I’d totally love it! I love Taral’s art, I love the way that he decided to talk about each piece, which was fantastic. My dream is to be able to do an issue like this for every Fan Artist out there, and I’m working on a Dan Steffan one for the future. I think this is the best issue of 2008, and overall, it’s very close to my heart. Lost and Found We put signs up all over the Vanessa’s appeared in the Drink Tank neighborhood. We walked him around, hoping a few times, and she’s also supplied materi- by Vanessa Van Wagner someone would recognize him. Once we tried als for the Fanzine in an Hour at least once leaving him on the far side of the local park and and I think three or four times. Looking at the lifetime balance of things then driving away, with the idea that he would Sadly, I’ve not seen her in a couple lost and things found, I am definitely ahead on work his way back to his owner. We came of years and must make sure the next time the “found” side. Twice I’ve found things that home from our shopping trip to find him sitting I’m down in LA that I pay a visit to her and changed the course of my life. One was a tote on our stoop. her husband George, another contributor to bag full of albums in a bus terminal phone Frosty stayed with us until I was in high these pages! booth in 1971, and the other was a dog. school, when he went to spend his last years at One snowy Thanksgiving, when I was around 5 years old, a lost dog took refuge from a place in the country. Periodically the wind next to our garage. My dad was all for we’d wonder about his former leaving him there. My brother and sister and owner. Somewhere along the way I wanted to bring him inside. Not to keep, we we acquired another dog, and the said. Just to get him out of the snow, we said. two of them were quite a team. My mother, not fooled, agreed to bringing him During a particularly troubled in. time in my family’s life, they were He had a heavy, fuzzy white coat, kind my best friends. I’d sit in the front of like an English Sheepdog, but he was smaller room of our seedy, cramped, - much smaller, we found out when we wet him railroad apartment, afraid to go down. He was very cooperative. Didn’t mind outside, playing the old upright at all being put in the bathtub. He cleaned up piano for a canine audience nicely. Once he was dry and brushed, he just of two, glancing at the book sat and looked at us. We sat and looked at him. titles from my mother’s wall of I now examine the moment and realize how paperbacks. The Stars Like Dust. hard my parents were trying not to fall in love The Martian Chronicles. Yes. Yes, with this dog. We named him Frosty. Frosty, there is somewhere. I can It was clear someone had taken a go somewhere, anywhere, that is lot of time with him. He was housebroken not here. and knew all the basic commands. He would I did leave there, and lost a bring slippers or the paper. He listed to one great many things in the process, side when he walked, though, and maybe had but I still say I’m ahead, and owe a something wrong with one eye. It seemed likely great debt to some unseen dog- he’d been in an accident and couldn’t find his training stranger. way home. His human, the person who had put so much into working with this charming animal, had to be heartbroken. 5 by Stellan eBay: Is there nothing it can’t do? Uncle had seen in San Francisco and headed. by Chris Garcia really enjoyed. He bought their tape and it I was listening to Pandora and an a I’ve been a fan of eBay since the instantly went into heavy rotation in the capella song came on by the group The beginning. I think I bought my first thing family vehicles. I, being only 13, never got Bobs, another a capella group that formed off of it about 6 months after it went live. to see The Flips, they were always playing in San Francisco in the late 1980s. I got to I bought a wrestling mask from them in in bars and clubs which were 21+, though I thinking about those long road trips and I March or April of 1996. You are surprised did see them perform one song, Scary Man, got to thinking about The Flips. that the first thing I bought on eBay was on the ABC-7 Morning Show. I had a video Those of you who know me well know wrestling-related? I didn’t think so. I went tape of it, which I remember finding when there is nothing I can think that I don’t put through a period where I wouldn’t even looking for a particular wrestling match up on Twitter within moments of thinking it. think of going on to eBay, from about late back around 2000, and I must have watched This time, it hit Facebook first. 1999 through early 2003. I started buying that thing a hundred times. I loved the tape, I sure wish I could hear What’s in the things again, though where once I would go titled What’s In The Bright Pink Box, but Bright Pink Box by the Flips again. I posted. after 3 to 5 auctions a week (and win 1 or when we finally had cars with CD players, Facebook is a very useful thing, because 2), now it’s more like 1 auction every other there was no way to listen to these old if you say that you’re looking for something, month, with me winning 1 a month or so. tapes anymore. or that something can’t be done, people will Work also has me getting stuff for them. Now, I think you see where this story is instantly post where the thing can be found Now, I have a lot of memories of and how it can be done. This time, it was driving. I drove a lot when I was young. Janice Gelb who came ot my rescue. A trip to Yosemite or LA meant a car There’s a copy of the LP on eBay for trip. Tahoe? 4 hours in the car. Now, this 2.99, she responded. was the 1980s and early 90s, so you still And with that, I was off to eBay. had tape players in cars. Either that, or I found the auction, did the Buy It you dealt with radio stations dying on Now! Option and only had ot wait two you the moment you hit hilly terrain. days for it to arrive at my door. From 1987 through our last family road There was, though, a single problem: trip in 1994, there were several tapes I have no access to a record player. that we played all the time. There was Now, I posted the fact that I had the the Paul Simon album Graceland, which record to Twitter. There was a message I still consider to be one of the greatest less than five minutes later: I got a USB albums of all-time. There were several turntable for Christmas from my buddy different Beatles albums, a couple of Ken Patterson. Neil Diamond albums, a couple of Who shall now be referred to as 1970s albums, a groups called The Saint Ken of the Awesome. Nylons, and an a capella group called The record arrived at my work on The Flips. Wednesday, and I brought it with me to The Flips were a group that my the Lunch room and looked over the liner notes and cover. That’s something that There’s lot of echo and round-fading. I The way they layer their vocals, the I really miss about records. Yeah, the CD rather liked it whereas sometimes I’m very variation in the way they play and the fact booklets are OK, but there was real layout annoyed by that sorts of thing. that there are three seamless transitions and design with records. I passed it around The album powers through some between tempos that work lovely with and everyone mocked the hair of the 1980s great comedy. There’s I Got The News, a their voices all point to this as their that the two female members of the Flips song about a woman who has found Jesus masterpiece. so proudly displayed. Karen, our Registrar, over the radio. There’s Spy For the Moral As I understand it, The Flips broke up said she had the same haircut back in 1987. Majority, a story of a guy who is afraid of by the early 1990s. Currently, I’m working I was amused. a man ‘Dressed in polyester and off-white on a bigger article about them as a part of I brought the record to BASFA on shoes’. There’s even an answering machine my “The 80’s Are Calling!” series on the Monday, where Ken was expecting it. message at the end, which I think we had as National Recording Registry’s lack of 1980s Magically, he got it transferred and all sorts our message for a while back in the days of entries. This one certainly belongs on the of awesome by Thursday! I had the CD in answering machine messages. list. my hot little hands. He dropped it off to The serious songs are work, and of course, that was the day that more impressive. There’s their my phone decided to start having battery cover of Monday, Monday and issues. Don’t Walk Away Rene. They I put it into the CD player in my team them into one song car, since my Laptop has no CD player. and it’s lovely. They switch The thing wouldn’t play. This was most between the two flawlessly disheartening, until I tried to play another and there’s a complexity CD and it wouldn’t play either. I put on to the intermingling that NPR and listened to Marketplace as I drove was the result of careful to pick up Evelyn. When I stopped at a light, arrangement as opposed to I tried it again and this time it started right heavy producing. Their cover up. of Since I Fell for You is clean Oh man, that was awesome. and crisp and authentic. I remember my Uncle saying that the The best of the songs, average Flips show was a story about both back in the day and once relationships and love and whatnot. The first I started re-listening, is called song, Working the Net, is about the days Cloud Nine. A story of the of 1980s dating when a young professional evolution of the proclivities woman was looking for love and she’d go to of women in love. This bars, exchange business cards and hope for one shows some excellent a call. It’s a good little song, complex time- songwriting. My favorite lyrics: stuff going on and lots of funky changes. As Who did she meet on that first blind date? The guy’s were no a kid, I never noticed the heavy production. Art by Radar surprise, but the lady was great. cry over in the offices of bored editors, art embassy. It was only somewhat Star Trekish, Anatomy of Failure directors and personnel managers. and owed not a little to a Russ Manning short Taral Wayne But recently I decided to dispose of feature called “The Aliens,” that ran in the back most of my old correspondence, which filled of “Magnus Robot Fighter.” It’s customary for people to toot their three milk crates occupying most of my closet I learned several things from the effort. own horn, is it not? floor . I faced a choice between which of my One, that the editor of the comic page was For a change, I thought I’d play the old letters to toss and which to keep. Quite often a frustrated newspaper man who hated flatulence of my own abysmal failures. a few were so embarrassing I could take no comics, and wanted to edit the sports page There are times when I’ve laid the chance of them falling into the wrong hands, instead. Two, that I was using up ideas at far failure to launch a meaningful career as a of course, and would continue to be kept too quick a pace. I was advised to milk the professional artist at the doorstep of my own under lock and key. Others reminded me of same gag for at least a week before coming up indolence and self-indulgence. The old saying good times I had no other tangible bridge to, with another. Three, that I was still writing over “try, try again” should be tattooed on the and those I also wished to keep. The vast the average reader’s head. The reader, I was knuckles of every artist’s hands, lest he forget majority were of the form, “read the last issue told, didn’t want to spend more than about six to promote himself at every opportunity. and disagree with so-and-so about this-and- seconds to grasp a three-panel strip. Finally, I Certainly, I was never one for knocking on that,” or “it wasn’t such a bad issue as all that, had to have months of strips in advance before doors, carrying a portfolio to lay out and I suppose.” Those I consigned to the memory any paper would even consider a submission. hole with the greatest of ease. I gave up on that idea. At least I later What surprised me was just how many got some use from the art by running the strips rejection slips I had accumulated over the years. in a fanzine. For instance, despite my distaste for My next bright idea was to illustrate for knocking on doors to sell myself to hostile science fiction magazines. I xeroxed portfolios editors, I actually did work up the nerve – once and mailed them to most of the titles on the – to take a newspaper strip to the local papers. newsstands at the time, and quickly acquired an I had two strips I had done some work on. unenviable assortment of polite refusals. One, an elaborate fantasy called “Doll “Thank you for the opportunity of Marion,” was far too complicated and bogged examining the enclosed material,” reads the down early, and only belatedly did I realize form rejection from Analog. Another rejection it would make a better novel than a daily from Analog was written by the editor himself, strip. The other was more promising. “2020” Ben Bova. “Thanks for letting me see your was a science fiction spoof that gave itself work, but I’m afraid I can’t use art work done more easily to daily gags and unstructured by someone as remote from our office as you development of situations. It concerned a are.” Robert Heinlein lookalike as the captain of the Galaxy and If’s rejection slip reads only, starship “Yawvey.” His secret ambition was “Thank you for letting us see your material. to be a science fiction writer, but his mission Unfortunately it does not quite meet our was to conduct a party of aliens to Earth as an present needs.” Vertex, a slick magazine that only lasted I changed my tactics somewhat, and style is right for our type of book.” Didn’t even about a dozen issues as I recall, explained in began submitting folios to book publishers get to first base that time. great and rather grumpy detail the various rather than magazines. My first attempt was a Bluejay Books was next. They were faux pas in my submission, such as the lack of a submission to a cover contest run by Faber & an up-and-coming new publisher of trade stamped return envelope. Faber. I actually got to second base this time. I paperback SF and fantasy at the time, and I Twilight Zone said, “Thanks for letting was sent some extracts to base a cover design even knew the editor personally. Several other us see your artwork. Unfortunately, it isn’t on. However, “we have now had a chance to fanartists I knew had gotten a break from quite the sort of thing we’re looking for at the consider your artwork and I am sorry we have Bluejay, including Phil Foglio. But, “Thanks for moment.” Or ever, I’m guessing. to tell you that yours was not selected for our sending the portfolio. I don’t have anything for Galileo said, “Not quite for us,” but shortlist.” you right now, but if you send me xeroxes I’ll added a list of hints about future submissions. I tried Donald M. Grant Books next. keep them on file to keep your talent in front Asimov’s had axes to grind, and would “We appreciate you sending your samples along of me for when I need to look for an artist for not have even considered me. Ironically, of all recently. Unfortunately, I don’t think that the a particular project.” This sounded promising, the SF mags, Asimov’s was the only one that but I’m afraid I never heard back on the subject. ever published any art of mine -- they ran a I tried Dime Novels after that. It was photo of the 1978 Hugo that they won as Best a gimmicky affair, to produce tiny sized novels Magazine. The “phoenix” engraved on the base the size of cigarette packs. They would be was my work. sold in racks next to the check-out line in Astronomy Magazine sent a handwritten supermarkets. Not surprisingly, there was rejection that was more kind. “Although the no future in the Dime Novel line. They were material returned herewith is not suitable for looking for something more like old pulp Astronomy, I like your style.” But Astronomy magazines, and not interested at all in my style was a science magazine, after all, and was anyway. looking for illustrations -- nothing came of this Pretty discouraged by this time, I line. changed strategy again. I made a half-hearted Throwing caution to the wind, I attempt to find work in animation. My first try submitted to the National Lampoon. “We was during my 1984 trip to LA, when I stayed have enjoyed the opportunity to examine the a guest of Schirm for seven whole weeks. We enclosed material. Although we are unable to visited DIC and met an old fan artist I knew include your submission in our publication, it who was working there. He introduced the does show you have talent and inventiveness.” two of us to the art director, who looked at It sounded promising, and it didn’t seem to be some work I had brought with me. a printed slip. Yet it had all the signs of being a His reception was friendly, but the letter conventional reply. Nothing came of this either. he eventually wrote wasn’t at all encouraging. I was finally reduced to submitting to In fact, I wonder if he had really looked at my The Dinosaur Times, a magazine so obscure I material at all, or only reacted to the style. have not the slightest inkling what it was. “Thanx for sending your material. I’d like to be Art from Mo Starkey more encouraging, but there simply is no work he worked for. Josh didn’t seem to want the ideas either. I was paid a bit for my work, but here at DIC for any but the more experienced work for himself, and so I became a mainstay at no “job” ever came of it. animation designers in the business. You Ruralite Magazine for something like five years. I got little consolation from knowing certainly should continue to pursue your work, The work was good, if not quite the that both Joe and Paul were at least as and perhaps study more with a concentration breakthrough I was hoping for. One magazine disappointed as I was. on anatomy and lifework.” could only provide so much work -- about ten Work from Ruralite ended around 1991. This from the studio that directed jobs a year. But the rates grew and for the time About the same time, “Beatrix” failed, and cons Inspector Gadget and English language became quite generous, in fact. And I found were growing ever less profitable. I lived off adaptations of Sailor Moon. a lifetime friend in the associate editor who my credit cards a while, and now I’m cheerfully My last failure to break into the pros handled my assignments. (Walt commissions bankrupt and past the peak of my “career.” was at Nelvana. It happens that the studio work from me for his private enjoyment to this You likely have as much idea what’s next is only a long walk away from where I live. very day.) as I do. But one thing at least... you can’t say I Under pressure from some of my buddies, One thing led to another, and I found didn’t try. who were studying at Sheridan’s animation I was doing store signs, business cards, cross- school, I walked into Nelvana’s office one day. knit patterns and a variety of other jobs that The receptionist took my portfolio and came came to me through Ruralite connections. back with it too quickly for anyone to have But, all good things come to an end, really looked at it. But she did give me a layout eventually. My friend retired, and test to work on and bring back. The problem the magazine changed character. was that I had no idea at the time what I was They weren’t interested in my retro- supposed to do with it. It looked only as looking cartoons anymore, instead though I was to take something already done, wanting photos of old guys holding and do it over, differently. I never went back. their record bass, or of self-installed Schirm later explained that I was bird baths. supposed to take the script and stage it so that For a while it looked as later artists could draw the actual animated though I might squeeze into the scenes. Today I know exactly what had been animation business through the back asked of me and could have probably done it door. A fan I knew worked at the while half-asleep. At the time, I was completely Sci-Fi Channel in New York, and was in the dark. trying to sell a series. I did all the Eventually, persistence won out – after layout work for his pitch -- knowing a fashion. In the late 80s I was approached by what layout was, finally. But Joe never Steve Gallacci to work on a joint comic book did manage to sell “The Amazing that became “Beatrix.” It didn’t last long. The Hare,” and I never did get to be the comic industry imploded shortly after, and my series art director. publishers failed one by one. I had also been I hitched my wagon to Paul passed along by Joshua Quagmire to a magazine Kidd’s empire for a while, but Paul wasn’t able to sell any of his series Five Mimeos by Taral Wayne Chris Watches Movies, lets Jason Trust me, read his blog and you’ll and blocking and hitting the other team is a big come away a better film watcher…and highly part of it). On a lark she tries out for the worst Write About Them… entertained. team in the league--the Hurl Scouts. Turns out, by Jason Wiener So, instead of my views on my favorite she’s a really fast skater and would make a good I watch a lot of movies, and I write a lot movies of the year, here’s Jason Wiener’s view on jammer (the player who scores points) if she about them. I’m not a critic, never will be, and my those very same films! just toughens up--becomes ruthless. And since approach to writing about movies is more to talk she needs a skating name, she becomes Babe about how they affect me and how I work with the Jason watches WHIP IT Ruthless. material of the film in my head. This can make for It’s a sport The plot points are cliche--she learns to some interesting (or infuriating) reading, but it’s movie. It’s a coming of be tough, the team comes together and starts nothing really interesting to most people. age movie. It’s a grrrl winning, she gets into trouble with her family My other twin brother from another power movie. It’s a and her heart, lessons are learned and people mother (the first being Jay Lake) happens to be cliche, but it’s more or come together. named Jason Wiener. He is a Cinequest regular less a fun cliche. But screw the cliches. The performances who happens to sit in the front row for every movie. Ellen Page are great. Not just Page and Shawkat, but her He also sees just about every movie at the various (JUNO) stars as Bliss others including teammates Zoe Bell (as Bloody festivals around the BArea. He reviews the movie Cavendar of Bodeen, Holly), Kristen Wiig (Maggie Mayhem), Eve for his blog Jason Watches Movies (http://jasonw Texas. Her mother (Rosa Sparks) and director Drew Barrymore atchesmovies.blogspot.com/) and he’s one of the Brooke (Marcia (Smashley Simpson) or rival Juliette Lewis (Iron best writers about the film-viewing experience you’ll Gay Harden) was a Maven of the team The Holy Rollers). Even ever find. He gets the concept of a film viewing as beauty queen before Jimmy Fallon as a tasteless announcer ‘Hot Tub’ a subjective experience and powerful one at that, she got pregnant and married Earl (Daniel Johnny Rocket was pretty good. And with this and that the movie itself isn’t the only thing about Stern). Now she’s a letter carrier who lives her cast and this obvious joy in the project, I can the viewing experience. I love the way he writes beauty queen fantasies vicariously through her overlook the cliches. about film and the reviewing he does, while not daughters (Bliss and her little sister Shania). One other thing that struck me always in line with what I think about the various Bliss’s best friend is Pash (Alia Shawkat of as odd. Most of this movie--the parts that films, are always in line with my meta view of “Arrested Development”), and far more aren’t in Bodeen--takes place in Austin. I’ve films. He does good criticism in with entertaining of a wild child than Bliss. Case in point, she never been to Austin, but it’s somehow oddly bits of examination and deconstruction, but at convinces Bliss to die her hair blue for a beauty familiar. I recognize the Alamo Drafthouse. I the same time, but manages to make it work as pageant--impressing neither her mom or the recognize the “Hi, how are you?” picture by contemplation on what film does to the viewer. He judges. Daniel Johnston. I even knew that the modern also adds up his total minutes of film viewing. I’ve No big deal, Bliss obviously isn’t that in incarnation of Roller Derby originated in had years where I did counts (2009 saw me see… to beauty pageants anyway. And on a night out Austin. It’s weird that I know so much about wait for it… 48 films in the theatre, 46 films from with Pash, she finds out about Roller Derby--a Austin without ever having been there. I’ve Netflix, I bought 32 films (not including TV series) raucous sport where teams of girls in fishnets learned this all through movies. Weird. on DVD and saw more than 200 shorts, and next skate around a track and score points by to Jason, I’ve done nothing! passing the other team (it’s a contact sport, Jason Watches Rocaterrania He tends to live in a bubble, and probably how tickled he First up was a documentary about a would’ve been happy to pass on without was that Adam pretty amazing guy, Rocaterrania. Renaldo Kuhler anyone ever knowing about his little world. Sandler kept is truly an individual. In the opening moments Now, thanks to the film, there will be calling his name of the film, he talks about the importance of a show of his illustrations and descriptions (Ira is the name a balance between fantasy and reality--reality of Rocaterrania in his native Raleigh, NC. of Seth Rogen’s is the meat and vegetables of the meal of life, Personally, I’m envisioning books about it (the character). Well, while fantasy is the dessert. Growing up on a illustrated history of Rocaterrania, anyone?), the weirder part ranch, he was always alone and started playing narrative films about it, etc. The theme of is the character’s with imaginary friends. He had a meticulous, Cinequest this year is “Transform”, and here’s name is actually overactive mind, and a talent for drawing. This perhaps the best example. Through the power Ira Wiener. Okay, lead him to pursue the realistic in his vocation of art, Renaldo Kuhler has transformed fantasy it’s pronounced as a scientific illustrator working in a museum. into a complete world. like someone And he pursued fantasy in his imaginary--but who whines a lot, absolutely realistic--world of Rocaterrania. Set Jason Watches FUNNY PEOPLE not a slang term in the rocky terrain (hence the name) tucked Actually, I watched it several days ago, for penis, but there is a scene of Adam Sandler between the U.S. and Canada in upstate New just been too busy to blog. taunting him by intentionally mispronouncing it York, Rocaterrania was settled by Eastern Just a few comments: and yelling “Ira Wiener, Ira Wiener, Ira Wiener!” Europeans (one half of the land is known as It’s funny, but it’s not a comedy. It’s Now that caused quite a bit of cognitive New Serbia). It has a complete history, with a drama about how people use humor in dissonance in me. I know it’s just a movie, but I monarchs and revolution. It has cosmopolitan everyday life, especially the painful moments. couldn’t help thinking: cities (it’s Schwarz opera I think that throws a lot of A. Ira and I would never get married. house is currently undergoing people for a loop. It’s actually He’s a nice guy and all, but gay marriage is still renovations), and various a good story that happens to illegal and neither one of us is gay. ethnic groups (including a be about people who make B. Even if we did get married, I wouldn’t rather vibrant Hasidic Jewish people laugh for a living. make him take my name, and I can’t see him community). Rocaterrania Aside: I want that wanting to become a Wiener. could only be created by a Super-Jew t-shirt Seth truly unique individual, and the Rogen wears in the movie By the way, best cathartic movie for near-tragedy is that it could (Superman’s S in a Star of Wieners has to be WELCOME TO THE have disappeared without David). DOLLHOUSE (all about how much it sucks to anyone ever knowing about it. My friend Ira has be a Wiener in junior high). Renaldo Kuhler is a tough guy started his own movie blog, to get to know, and director and wrote a great post about And now that I’m completely off topic, I Brett Ingram talked to him for this movie. I’m going to start shall end this post. over a decade to win his trust calling him “Shmyra”. A good and put together this movie. deal of his post is about Jason Watches The Beautiful Blue their parents don’t approve). The passengers about genetic engineering). But seeing stuff like Danube are Western Europeans--French, German, how people move (especially Rorschach) was First up was the most sexually explicit English, etc. The workers/performers are a nice treat. Mostly, I was impressed with the film in the festival (andDan and a Van included Eastern Europeans--Serbian, Polish, Romany, soundtrack (the only part that really added a lesbian gang-bang scene), The Beautiful Blue etc. It’s an upstairs/downstairs thing, with the something beyond the graphic novel). Danube. Tim Seyfi stars as your host on the ruling and serving classes starkely separated So yeah, I’m sure all the fanboys have Kriemhild, a pleasure cruise boat from Vienna by nationality. And, there’s sex. Think of it as already seen it, and they’re probably the only to Belgrade on the titular river (as an aside, I “Upstairs, Downstairs” with prostitution (come ones who will really love it. A lot of people who spent the whole movie thinking, ‘where have to think of it, I never saw that show, I’m just haven’t read the novel will probably be lost or I seen him before’, and just now looked him assuming there was no prostitution in it). That bored. up on IMDb and realized that I remember might sound like fun and games, and for a while I want to end with some thoughts him from Evet! I Do! from Berlin and Beyond it all is--at least on the surface. Of course you on the ending. As I said, it’s the only major back in January. He played Coskun, the Kurdish know something horrible is going to happen. element that was changed (yeah, the TALES OF man madly in love with a Turkish woman-- And it does. And I don’t want to spoil it, but it THE BLACK FREIGHTER was removed, but starts with R and ends with APE (and it isn’t is actually released on a separate DVD extra). “Rhinoceros Escape”). I’ll just say, the act itself I will do my best to avoid spoilers for the isn’t nearly as important as the reactions of remaining 3 people out there who have interest the witnesses. A powerful, gorgeous, and kinda but haven’t read the novel or watched the traumatic movie. movie yet. The thing about the ending is that the Jason watches WATCHMEN graphic novel was written in the mid 80’s, fully Yeah, it’s about time. in the midst of the Cold War. It’s very much a Anyway, based on Zack Snyder’s Cold War ending, to solve a Cold War problem. previous effort, 300, I expected Reading it for the first time earlier this decade, this to be a very faithful I couldn’t help but think how different the adaptation, lifting visuals directly ending reads in a post Cold War world (when from the graphic novel and the resolution is unnecessary), and especially placing them directly on screen in a post 9/11 (and mid Iraq War) world (when with very little adaptation. I was right, and given the resolution isn’t necessarily guaranteed to the great source material, it makes a pretty work). As I said before, I think the change Zack good movie (although condensing it to 2.5 Snyder made to the ending is largely immaterial minutes probably confuses a lot of people who and just used cut out an extra subplot. But aren’t familiar with the graphic novel). given today’s world, I kind of wish he either What did surprise me was how much I a) kept the original ending (which in a way liked it. Yeah, I knew just about everything that might’ve been more brave), or b) completely was going to happen (other than a big change reworked it to resonate more fully with today’s to the ending that seems to have been chosen world situation. In fact, there’s more than just to avoid wedging in another major subplot a streamlining change. There’s also a major later). Price goes about it slowly, spending a in intelligence and strength. change that I think is kind of a cop-out. But couple of days on reconnaissance. But at some Irene Adler is a real character, and did that’s all I can say without spoiling it. point, possible when he beats up her jerk of outfox Holmes (I believe twice) an ex-boyfriend, his heart opens and he finds Things they got wrong: himself conflicted. Holmes and Moriarty (minor, I loved the quietness, simpleness, non- unimportant spoiler) do tangle several times embellishedness (if that’s a word) of it all. It’s before Watson’s engagement. ostensibly an action story, but there are no Although Holmes did use coccaine, and explosions. It takes place in a small town which Watson did express concern, Holmes was far could be anywhere. Price isn’t a hitman because from an inveterate drunk during his down time, it’s cool (maybe he started that way, but not and his drug use never became a problem. anymore), he’s a hitman because it’s his job. Very Things they got...different: well done. This is an action movie, while the books are far more cerebral. I don’t recall the books ever getting into Jason watches THE LAST LULLABY Jason goes to Alaska and watches SHERLOCK the supernatural as much as this movie did. Cinequest and the Camera 3 team up HOLMES Anyway, as for the quality of the movie again to bring a theatrical release to a great film Okay, I was actually itself--I liked it. Robert that I missed in the festival. in Anchorage, AK for a Downey Jr. is perfect as THE LAST LULLABY is a story that in vacation with my family, but Holmes, Jude Law plays off different hands could be a flashy, stylized, “cool” while I was there, we did him very well as Watson, flick about a hitman. Instead director Jeffrey see Guy Ritchies’s new take and the action is engaging Goodman steps back, lets the substance of the on the classic detective. and fun. The caper is about story count more than they style, and builds I am by no means Lord Blackwood, a very evil a careful, quiet, character driven story about a Holmes scholar, but I did man who is put to death at killing people. Tom Sizemore stars the hitman, read a collection (I think the conclusion of Holmes Price. The story opens with some of the only the complete tales, Volume and Watson’s final case flash you’ll see. A woman is kidnapped by 1) some years ago. By my together some violent thugs. Price “rescues” her, only to faulty memory, here are If you think about collect his own ransom (and outwit her father, some things they got right: Guy Ritchie’s ouvre (minus who is obviously some sort of organized crime Holmes is an SWEPT AWAY), you’ll see boss). That score is his retirement, but size athlete--many film versions that with LOCK, STOCK, months later he’s a bored, restless insomniac show Holmes as the brain AND THREE SMOKING so when the crime boss contacts him with a and Watson as the brawn, BARRELS, SNATCH, and job, he’s game. There’s a woman, Sarah (Sasha but in Sir Arthur Conan ROCK ‘N ROLLA he’s Alexander) that he needs killed in 10 days Doyle’s stories, Holmes really been making Sherlock (something about a grand jury and she’s the outclassed nearly everyone Holmes action flicks for a only witness. That becomes very important long time, just with different names and more criminals. (And if you think about SWEPT AWAY, you should punch yourself in the brain until you stop*) So he’s a perfect fit here, and I’m looking forward to the inevitable sequel (latest rumors--Brad Pitt as Prof. Moriarty)

Jason watches JENNIFER’S BODY Hell is a teenage girl.... I don’t feel like writing a long review. Suffice to say parts of it’s made me laugh, none of it scared me, and most of it just reminded me how much I hate teenagers. It shoulda gone for more (intentional) comedy Art from Mo Starkey IT’S STILL TRUTH they started with heavyweight ‘rudos’ (heels) Cybernetico and Pero Aguyo – heavies who By Jeffrey Allan Boman just punched and kicked. They brought talented “The WWF is not the innovator of sports ‘technicos’ (babyfaces) like Octagon for one entertainment!” match that year: a Royal Rumble where their Joey Styles said something to this effect talent was lost. Result: a wasted opportunity. in the early days of ECW – the real ECW, A promotion called TNA gives the not the PG joke McMahon made it. Since then cruiserweights a lot of exposure in what they some things have changed: thanks to a lawsuit call the X Division, but some of them also shine by the World Wildlife Fund the promotion is in the heavyweight and tag team ones as well. now called the WWE, and Joey Styles now works for them. TAG TEAMS One thing hasn’t changed though: the The Steiner Brothers. The Road WWE still isn’t an innovator. It has brought Warriors. The Public Enemy. The British some talent in that did from time to time, but Bulldogs. The Rock and Roll Express. Many they’re usually wasted, and stupidly. others… at a time there was a feast of teams. The WWF had enough of them at one time to WHO AM I? have a 10- team Survivor Series match. Today Right now you may be wondering who I though? CRUISER-WHATS? am to give this opinion. Well, watching wrestling RAW and Smackdown! Each has 2 full- Some of the most exciting performers has been my hobby for more than 28 years. time teams who face each other endlessly – are the lighter-weight cruisers. Jerry Lynn, Like many I grew up watching the WWF, and except for the Unified Tag Team champions who Chavo Guerrero, Rey Mysterio Jr., Paul London, thrilled to see Hulk Hogan bodyslam Andre can go to either show. For the rest there are Jamie Noble (James Gibson), Evan Bourne (Matt the Giant. I saw the 1997 “Montreal Screwjob” makeshift teams of random singles performers. th Sydell), TAKA Michinoku… these guys are fun in person in the 7 row. I wrote articles for a These teams have no other reason for being, to watch! Problem is: Vince doesn’t believe that wrestling e-newsletter called ‘Pro Wrestling and usually don’t appear again together, unless anything but heavyweights can sell. So we had Digest’ about a decade ago too. they have a storyline to. Example: CM Punk and a Cruiserweight title with only one opponent As I grew up I saw ECW and Smoky Luke Gallow for the ‘Straight Edge Society’. at a time and no storylines for the rest. Rey Mountain on tape, enjoyed Mexican ‘lucha libre’ This is an area where TNA shines: it has at is now only pushed against heavyweights. The on Pay Per View, saw the stiff technical work of least 8 teams, many in storylines not involving others? TAKA is gone. Jamie Noble has retired. ‘puroresu’ from Japan (Chris raved about this the titles only. Plus, they are actual teams, not London got Vince mad, he was buried then in a recent DRINK TANK). Sadly I also saw the random singles mixed together. bad last year of USWA on tape too. gone. Jerry Lynn was fired for saying out loud what Evan and Chavo are both reduced to now: Most of these did not have the degree TV DOESN’T REALLY MATTER MUCH being used for comedy acts or as fodder for of production value that WWE puts out – but Unless a match is to set up another on Pay per the bigger guys. their product exposes the flaws it has also. View, it’s short on television. Rarely does RAW WWE had a chance to bring great go beyond 6 matches, mostly 5 minutes or less. cruiserweight talent from Mexico, but instead Most of the 2+ hours of the show is padded as I stated earlier) or to lead to firings. In the CONCLUSIONS with skits and recaps of a few minutes before. case of the women wrestlers (called Divas) This may read as an anti-WWE rant, but This isn’t meant to be a “TNA vs. WWE” this means the same 10 performers over and I don’t want it to be. It’s the biggest promotion, article, but TV matches there are often of over between two brands (ECW doesn’t have a it had good product when it competed greater length and substance there. A recent woman division). with WCW in the late 1990s (the Attitude World title match with AJ Styles defending As a result it no longer works. Era). Once Vince bought (then buried) that against Kurt Angle comes to mind. They also promotion, he no longer felt the need to try had a triple threat match in 2008 that went anything fresh. The product is now suffering for over an hour. it. Longer matches allow the performers The WWE is still not an innovator. Joey to craft a story in the ring. WWE isn’t allowing is still right, sadly. that to happen. I don’t know if I agree totally, but STALE AND CRUSTY there’s a lot right that my pal (and DUFF The title situation in WWE always candidate) Jeff says. The WWE has it all seems to have 3 or 4 performers who make up over every other promotion when it comes the main events ad nauseum. Once in awhile a to production values and merchandising. new wrestler is added to the mix like current The polish on WWE shows is fantastic. World champion Sheamus (who I call ‘Bruiser That’s part of what set ECW apart back Brody with an Irish brogue’. No, I’m not in the 1990s. They were gritty, dark and impressed by him). Then THEY face those same fast. The work was stiffer, and the material people all over again. more adult. Nowadays, there’s TNA, which is I can’t cite TNA doing things better trying to be WWF from the 1990s, and has here. Kurt Angle is extremely talented, but he actually managed to take away anything has become so pervasive to the show that that set it apart. Groups like Ring of Honor there have been signs in the crowd calling and Dragonsgate present World Class it ‘Total Non-Stop Angle’. He’s become as Wrestling, just fantastic, state-of-the-art pervasive as current co-owner Hulk Hogan stuff that you won’t see in the big leagues, (that’s for another article though). but they lack polish and are always sort of bumping their heads against a wall when it THE BRAND SPLIT NO LONGER WORKS comes to how big they can become. They’re At the beginning this was a good idea: great DVDs to get though, and you should split a large talent roster onto several shows, go to rohwrestling.com if you want to enjoy then change it up a bit to generate new feuds. some awesome wrestling. It worked the first 2 times. Then it became an I will say this: the Brand Split is annual event, one that feels like an excuse to an absolute failure and they should just cherry-pick top talent to RAW (often to waste, become one promotion again. Art by Radar Anime LA 2010 reasons to get drunk and trash a hotel room, This is technically true, since the con employs By Jason Schachat but I was genuinely intrigued. an army of minions (AKA poor high school and Lots of people say they’re anime fans college students with too much community Every fan has their favorite convention. from way back, but I can actually pin it down spirit and not enough money). Suffice it to say, Not necessarily their first or the biggest one to when I was four years old. Transformers they liked what we did and invited us back to they ever went to. It’s usually the one that was the gateway drug into Robotech (Macross do it a second time. transformed them from relatively sane people for true otaku), which then lured me into the When I left that first ALA, I nearly saying, “Yeah, I guess I’m a fan” to prancing rest of the mecha genre: Voltron, Mobile Suit kissed founder Chaz Boston Baden right on around hotel hallways with lightsaber in hand. Gundam, Neon Genesis Evangelion… It was the mouth for the con he’d managed to put Anime LA is quickly becoming my favorite only a matter of time before I branched out to together. True, it had drama; but they kept it convention. other genres. nicely tucked behind the curtains. Meanwhile, My first favorite convention was LA So, regardless of the debauchery the cosplayers formed dance circles in the Con IV. Yeah, yeah: it was a big ol’ WorldCon awaiting me, I was genuinely enthused. hallways, the dealers had trouble keeping up AND my first WorldCon, so I’ve nearly nullified Now, that first year at ALA saw us whip with all the sales, and the art show wasn’t my entire argument right from the start. But up a Fanzine Lounge from nothing-- as if we some stately, solemn affair, but a series of that convention didn’t just have scope—it had had a crate of Pokéballs sitting at the ready. tables where artisans displayed their wares and a pulse. Parties long into the night, new friends crafted new ones between serving customers. made, new avenues of fandom grafitti’d… It’s hard to herd up all the reasons I love Anime And, like a good book or the perfect Los Angeles. True, part of it is I’m an anime high, it’s kept me looking for my next fix. The fan surrounded by kindred spirits, but let’s face smartest thing to do when tending one’s facts: this is a young con for young people. addiction (aside from breaking it as soon as Not wizened myself, I can blend in to some possible—talking about you, Star Wars action degree. It still feels like I’m sneaking into some figures) is returning to the source. I’d scoured teenager’s house party. The place is littered my old haunts in the San Francisco Bay Area with hyperactive cosplayers chomping on pocky for a hit of the good stuff, but nothing killed the and teetering under the weight of Final Fantasy craving. swords the size of surfboards. Then I started doing the L.A. These… are not my people. conventions because all my friends were. But goddamn, their energy is infectious. And lo, they were being run by many of the How many standard sci-fi cons have same people as LA Con IV. Many of the same you been to where it feels (and smells) like strange, dysfunctional, crazy people. you’re walking through a morgue? At any hour So a couple years ago, almost as an of the day and long into the night, the halls of afterthought, they asked me, Leigh Ann ALA ring with the laughter of its members. Oh, Hildebrand, and España Sheriff if we’d be sure; they’ll sack out on the beanbags littering coming to Anime Los Angeles. Now, España the hallways, napping like an army of narcoleptic and Leigh Ann are always looking for amusing cats. Then they’re ready to leap into a rendition Art by Brad W. Foster of the Haruhi dance at a moment’s notice. The old standards of sci-fi cons are all there: Masquerade, panels, Dealer Room, Con Suite, *cough* fanzine lounge. But, somehow, every aspect has mutated into a more vibrant organism. Except for the panels. Not much you can do there. A five hour line for the Masquerade may seem excessive, but imagine the show itself flowing smoothly from presentation to presentation: well rehearsed performances, a focus on boosting the entertainment value of costuming, and rarely any entrees by stagemothers who’ve prodded their terrified toddler onstage to stand weeping while the audience nervously claps in the hope the child will run off screaming and never be seen again. Picture a dealer room with no ‘quiet hours’. Every hour it’s open, potential customers crowd around every shelf and table for discounted items that let them embrace fandom without starving their way through college. A Con Suite where… alright, I can’t really say I was wild about the Con Suite. Let’s face facts, Con Suites are meant for two things 1) Gorging on junk food and 2) Resting your fat ass after gorging on junk food. ALA’s Con Suite was pretty hopping, but there was nowhere to sit, a bouncer to keep the room sparsely populated, and “limit two” signs for things like mini cookies and breath mints. Yes, these kids are thin for a reason. But it all ties into the commitment ALA fans have to their obsession. There comes a time when you’ve seen one too many half- assed jedi eating chicken wings in the lobby—often using their natty robes as napkins. Cosplayers, on the other hand, are like when you go to Disneyland and see the ‘characters’ walking around. It’s not enough for them to just look the part. They have to act it out as well, often staying in character the whole time. Maybe something was gained in translation, but cosplayers really took costuming to the next level when they embraced the ‘play’ aspect. Sure, you’ll get some Klingons or furries at other cons. I doubt you’ll come face to face with hundreds of them at once, though. The craft of their costumes may not have the expertise or originality of those glorified by the rest of fandom. But, by the same token, there isn’t a single rock song that holds a candle to the composition of a symphony. Sometimes, energy, dedication, and unadulterated joy are all you need. launched them from the top floor in hopes that they would sail across the atrium and land below. What we failed to take into account was the warm thermals rising from the heated pool below. As we launched the round foils, they flew beautifully, and rose and rose and got caught in the upper rafters. Even when we pointed the foils downwards, the thermals would correct them, and make them rise and get caught in the rafters. We figured close to 20 of the foils got caught up there before we figured, hey, the hotel might see those, we'd better stop! The convention carried on, we swapped stories and knowing looks, and every so often, we glance upwards and see our handiwork in the hotel rafters. It wasn't until after the convention was done and we were in the catering office, settling the bill that the hotel brought up the paper airplanes in the rafters. 10 - De planes, de planes to the relaxicon, where we started trying the Apology, apology, won't happen again...and it didn't. That was the last OpusCon. By Lloyd Penney designs for ourselves. I should say that the hotel Opuscon However, it wasn't the last relaxicon there. Fast forward about ten years, and some About 20 years ago, Yvonne and I ran was at was an eight-storey tall atrium hotel, with a large resort-style area where a heated friends of ours had enjoyed themselves at a short series of relaxicons in Toronto called Opuscon, and decided to stage a relaxicon Opuscon. Yup, the penguin and everything. It pool kept the glassed atrium area warm all year round. of their own, to recreate the good times, was held in Oakville, west of Toronto, and not and they called their one-shot relaxicon many people wanted to go all that distance to The paper airplane enthusiasts in our group settled on a round airfoil design, and PseudoOpuscon. Guess they were tired of go to a convention...that's why it was a short waiting for us to stage one last relaxicon. We series of relaxicons. we also found that the best material to use was...the glossy hotel pamphlet available in attended and had a good time, but were told by The second Opuscon was a fun time. the committee members, nudge, nudge, wink, During our explorations of the hotel that great quantity all over the hotel. We tested the round design, and found they flew the best, so wink, that they had a difficult time getting the weekend, we came across a few engineers hotel to agree to the contract, for they had having some fun of their own. They were at a where's the best place to give the planes their test? The top floor of the hotel, overlooking the to tell the hotel several times that no, they small meeting at the hotel we were at, and they aren't the same people who put all the paper had gotten their hands on some interesting atrium, of course. We had several dozen round foils, and airplanes up in the rafters, and it won't happen designs of paper airplanes. They shared those again, no sir... designs with us, and we brought them back while we thought the hotel wasn't looking, we Letter Graded Mail the Registry. Great film! Then again, I I love The Muppet Movie, and it’s sent to [email protected] totally love the Talking Heads and Da- the fifth film with Orson Welles on by my Loyal Readers vid Byrne’s solo work. Great music. the Registry! Huge Talking Heads fan myself. That should do it for now. See Remain in Light might be the best you in the funny pages, and even Hey, it’s John Piurcell!!! album of the 1980s. though you’re supporting Jeff Boman Holy Hannah, furry fella: your It is also neat to see that “The In- for DUFF 2010, I still like you. For zine’s issue count is getting up there credible Shrinking Man” made the list. now, you’re staying on the Askance with no sign of slowing down. To quote I love that movie; again, is the original mailing list. a famous asthmatic movie bad guy, “The Fly” also on the Registry already? All the best, “Most impressive.” I assume that it is. John Purcell I definitely agree with you on The Fly’s not on the list yet. The Either way, DUFF’s gonna have a the choice of “Thriller” in this year’s effects in The Incredible Shrinking top-notch delegate! And as always, additions to the National Film Regis- Man probably put it higher on the I’m happy to give pages to the can- try. That video definitely changed the list. didates in The Drink Tank! tenor and production of music videos, Ah, a Mabel Normand movie has transforming that branch of the music been added! Did Steven H (no period) industry forever. A comparable analogy Silver have an inside line on this year’s would be to how “Sergeant Pepper’s selections when he wrote that article Lonely Hearts Club Band” changed about her which I pubbed in Askance? the face of rock and roll. Yeah, strong Another landmark choice; she had agreement on the choice of “Thriller” to quite the career. The word “tempestu- the NFR. ous” definitely describes her life in and Totally agree (and don’t get me out of cinema. started on the National Recording Mabel’s sorta coming back. She’s on Registry! the Registry, she’s had a new book But your listing of other concert/ written about her and she’s been music films on the Registry makes me mentioned outside of her associa- wonder something, and I know you can tion with the murder of William answer this question: “Woodstock” is Desmond Taylor. on the list, right? I can’t imagine it not And “The Muppet Movie”! What being listed already. And wouldn’t it be a great flick. My favorite scenes from a hoot to hear some snooty suit saying that are when Kermit is riding a bi- “Cocksucker Blues” at the announce- cycle (how the heck did they DO that?) ment of new additions? That would and the beautifully respectful homage be funny. Also, I think “Stop Making to Edgar Bergen. That was a priceless Sense” is another worthy addition to moment. art by Ric Bretschneider