Felix Issue 1045, 1996
The student newspaper of Imperial College
Issue 1055 FELIX May 3rd 1996 IC universally unchallenged White set to Imperial team win final convincingly head ULU
BY ANDREW SMITH Sarah White, the current Imperial College Union President, has thrown her hat into the ring for the University of London Union (ULU) Presidential race. If successful, Sarah will follow that other well-known friend of Imperial College Union, Ghassan Karian, as London's Student Leader. With only Paul Crawford, Vice-President of the Royal Veterinary College Union, PHOTO: IVAN CHAN standing against her, Miss White "Beating the rest by more than two standard deviations": Nick Bradshaw, Mark Pallen, Jim Totty and stands every chance of success. Chris Morrison say they are unchanged by their University Challenge success. She has been supported by senior Student Union BY ANDREW SMITH from the event, merely a some- was very intensive with the first Sabbaticals at Kings College, Queen Mary and Westfield The Imperial College team what oversized trophy. The team round being filmed last June, and College, the Royal College of stormed to victory in this year's of Jim Totty, Nick Bradshaw, the following four shows being Music and University College University Challenge, beating the Mark Pallen (Captain) and Chris recorded on three consecutive London. London School of Economics in Morrison did manage to profit days in October. Such was the the Grand Final of the BBC2 out of the adventure though by concentration necessary for the Highlighting communica- quiz show. Recorded in October laying down their own money on questioning that the IC team tion, education funding and of last year, but not shown on a bet on themselves winning the invented their own version of the college mergers as the issues New Zealand rugby team's Haka, television until Wednesday this title. Before even starting the most important to ULU, Sarah in order to get their adrenalin believes that her track record is week, IC finally won by 375 first round they put down £40.00 pumping. They also engaged in evidence of her ability to repre- points to 220 after being chased that they would win at odds of psychological warfare with their sent the student body effec- all the way by LSE. 33-1, and are looking forward to opposition, leaving quiz books tively. The ICU President has Despite winning the presti- collecting their reward. Continued on page, four Continued on page two gious title no prize money comes Filming of the programmes
If BMS 'progressing well' IC Radio Break-in First postgrad ceremony
Demolition of the RCS II build- A break-in at the newly recon- The first ceremony specifically ing is due to be completed structed Southside disco, when to award postgraduate degrees today, enabling IC's contractors equipment worth £1200 was was held on Wednesday. Lewis Schal to begin preparations for stolen, has highlighted concerns Warpole was inaugurated as a the construction of the BMS about security on IC's building new Fellow of IC at the Albert building next week. page 3 sites. page 3 Hall presentation. page 4 TWO . FELIX FRIDAY MAY 3RD 1 996 NEWS continued from front page Imperial, Kings College, and emphasised her wish to 'improve University College London. communications' but has yet to Representatives of medical News in brief clarify how she intends to school student unions are achieve this. increasingly concerned that they On education funding Sarah are losing influence in the BY THE NEWS TEAM had one hour between 3am and asserts that it is 'vitally important restructuring of ULU. With 4am in which he was left alone. that we plan for the future' and many of London's medical Boat club to appeal As Felix went to press Green was that we 'safeguard the future of schools being merged in the next Imperial College boat club have revisiting the Hall for another Higher Education'. In a side few years, student leaders feel appealed against Wandsworth attempt. swipe at the current President that the strong traditions of the Borough Council's decision to Sarah emphasies the need to colleges will be lost. refuse planning permission for Med staff under threat consider the financial problems With Paul Crawford, an renovation and extension to their Cutting the number of medical of minority category students, influential member of ULU's Putney boathouse. school academic staff is one instead of 'concentrating simply Medical Group, as Sarah's only The club's original proposal option being considered by the on home undergraduates'. opposition, the contest looks set was rejected last November after vice-chancellor's medical comm- Speaking to Felix, Sarah to demonstrate the extent of the local residents, supported by ittee last week in order to meet said, "I'm not planning a career in split. Caroline Baker, President their MP David Mellor, Government cuts in funding. politics... but I feel it's time of Charing Cross and complained that the plans would Rising numbers of medical Imperial got more involved in the Westminster Medical School heighten disturbance in the area. students mean that more staff Union, and I feel ULU should Students' Union, which is one of Since the appeal is unlikely will be needed to teach them, move beyond Bloomsbury." the major constituents of the to be heard by the council until but the amount of money that Sarah believes that her new Imperial Medical School, November, the club have also the Government has assigned success in 'bringing together has nominated Mr Crawford. submitted a revised plan, taking medical schools over the next Imperial's current and future If successful Sarah would local residents' concerns into few years means that the extra constituent medical school become the first IC student since account.The boat club are hoping staff cannot be recruited. This unions' will be of benefit in her Trevor McDonald to become that it will be considered early has raised fears of a decline in the prospective role as ULU ULU President. It is unclear this summer. Peter Mee, standard of teaching and a subse- President. But the presidential whether Miss White will follow Imperial College's Registrar, said quently blight of bad doctors. race has highlighted the rift in Mr Phillips shoes to the extent "We think we have met local Sir Michael Thompson, between the smaller medical of running for NUS President residents objections as far as we chair of the committee, said that schools in London and the larger, next year, and possibly even can." academic training had already more powerful colleges, such becoming a presenter on ITN. As part of the appeal absorbed a 28% cut in funding, process, Wandsworth Borough yet the Government wanted Council have sent the discussion more doctors trained to meet a of the plans to a Public Inquiry, shortage in the National Health to be heard in November. Service. College authorities hope to avoid the costly legal fees this would Student debt rises entail by submitting the revised The level of debt that the average proposal. graduate carries with them when they leave university has leaped Ghostly Albert Hall to £3,000, according to a survey A series of spooky sightings at by Barclays Bank. This is a 31% the Royal Albert Hall has forced increase over last year's average. the management to seek help The survey found that more than froma professional ghost investi- three-quarters of last year's gradr gator. uates were in debt to the Frightened staff have been Student Loans Company, banks, reporting paranormal activity for parents and credit cards. several years, so Chief Executive Interestingly, graduates who Patrick Deuchar decided he had found full-time employment in no choice but to call in Andrew their chosen careers had larger Green, a civil servant and part debts than those graduates still time ghostbuster. Green spent unemployed, mainly due to large Monday night in the basement at purchases such as a car or the Royal Albert Hall along with clothes. Also, it was found that reporters and film crews from all men, with an average debt of over the world. £3,476, had a larger debt than Unfortunately Green did women who had an average of not spot any uninvited appari- £2,414. tions. He complained that he The findings are in line with could not walk across the room Government's policy of transfer- without a television camera crew ring the living costs of students following him and that he only onto the students themselves. NEWS FELIX FRIDAY MAY 3RD 1996 . THREE NUS overturns funding policy
BY MARK BRIDGE and malcontent after last year's The National Union of Students NUS conference in Derby where has dropped its 16 year long calls for policy reform were commitment to campaign lor the previously dismissed. return of student grants to 1979 Countering the old-style levels. The policy, decision came calls for free education that have at Easter's Blackpool conference characterised past NUS confer- after a series of concentrated ences Karian insisted that "the efforts by various individuals and policy is unachievable and will groups to bringing about a more not address the problems we face realistic NUS education funding - of student hardship, the fall in policy. The impassioned annual quality and the need to increase conference attracted a record access." He marked the occasion 1500 delegates, a majority of out as being one of the most whom voted in the new policy. important student conferences During the preamble to the for decades. Blackpool conference both the However, the expedient Scottish and Welsh NUS confer- vehicle that was New Solutions is ences rejected radical policies now likely to disintegrate as its advocating 'demonstrations' and members leave to set up new 'occupying buildings to protest' NUS education funding-policy typifying the sea change toward discussion groups. These will less militant positions. argue out the relative merits of Douglas Trainer, NUS top up fees, entrance levies and Scotland President, who student contributions. defeated Clive Lewis, NUS The decision to no longer Vice-President, in the recent press the Government to fully NUS Presidency contest rallied fund higher education comes in with Scottish Students Assoc- the light of increasingly worrying PHOTO: ALEX FEAKES iations in calling for a policy of statistics on the extent of Demolition of the final remaining support structures of the old "realism rather than revolution". student hardship. Royal College of Science II chemistry building is due to be Lewis advocated a return to full A newly released survey has completed today, ahead of schedule. Phil Hilton, Schal Project grants and free education, indicated that a third of students Manager, said that the preparations for the construction of however Trainer won the battle miss lectures because they have Imperial's new Biomedical Sciences building were 'progressing to lead the NUS next year by to work in order to remain at well'. He also expressed confidence that the contractors would be 586 votes to 458. university. The poll of 622 able to make up for time lost when planning permission lor the new The lobbying group New students from a cross section of building was delayed. Solutions has been credited with different universities around the Sheet piling will commence early next week as the process of a significant role in bringing country showed that nearly one underpinning RCS I begins. In a process expected to take several about the changes. Coordinated half of those in higher education weeks, the contractors will construct a temporary retaining wall to by Ghassan Karian, President of also have part-time jobs. Of help ensure that the historic chemistry building, which is part of a the University of London Union, those that work, more than recognised conservation area, is not structurally harmed as the foun- the moderate pressure group was three-quarters said that it has an dations for the new building are dug. The next stage of the process, born out of feelings of disquiet adverse effect on their studying. excavating the basement, is due to begin on June 24th. IC Radio victim of 'considerable security flaw'
BY JONATHAN TROUT combined value of over £1,200. a £900 CD player. extra patrols and locks on the The newly reconstructed South- It appears that the intruders Ken Weir, Imperial's Chief door in question." side Disco was broken into last were able to walk through an Security Officer, stated: Mr Weir also stressed the Wednesday evening. Imperial unlocked fire door, which was "Security cannot at this time need for Southside residents to College Radio's Jules Taplin and protected by a lockable outer make much of a comment, come forward with any informa- Rob Clarke discovered the break- door before the new Health except that the break-in high- tion they may have relating to in the following afternoon, find- Centre building work. The lighted a considerable flaw in the this or any other offence. He ing an SL-1210 Technics deck, culprits forced the lock on the DJ security of the building. further advises anyone with three headshells and a mixer booth and made off with the Temporary measures have been expensive equipment to have it missing. These items have a equipment, missing in their haste taken to plug the gap, namely properly marked. FOUR . FELIX FRIDAY MAY 3RD 1996 NEWS New degree ceremony low key' ICU spend £1800 to cancel Commemoration Ball
science to the general public. BY DAVID COHEN Warpole encouraged the audi- A new slimmer Commemoration ence of new graduates to exercise Day experience was unleashed a degree of humility when last Wednesday on Imperial considering the impact of scien- College. The increasing postgrad- tific and technological progress uate poprdation, currently on society. This sentiment was amounting to over a third ol the later reinforced by the Chairman student numbers, has forced of the Governing Body, Sir Frank College to spilt the occasion Cooper. The ceremony was commemorating the departure of completed in under two hours. Imperial College students. The day's proceedings came This week saw the first of to an early end as the evening's two commemoration days after entertainment, the Commemor- the decision to split the event ation Ball, had to be cancelled into ceremonies in May and due to lack of interest. With only October was taken last year. In forty tickets sold the cancellation previous years, when there was has cost Imperial College Union, only one graduation event, the the event's organisers, £1,800 but ceremony usually lasted over this was calculated as being less three and a half hours. In a than what would have been lost if change from the traditional the ball went ahead. performance of the choir at the Negotiations are under way October event, this year's musi- to gain compensation from cal interlude was provided by the College's Registry Department to Imperial College clarinet player cover the cancellation fee. With James Marchese. invitations allegedly being sent Last Wednesday also marked out three weeks after the planned the inauguration of a new Fellow date, ICU claim that the gradu- of the College, Lewis Warpole. ates did not have enough time to Famous for his radio and televi- respond. Others have suggested sion appearances, he has for that there was simply not enough several years been actively interest from postgraduates in involved in an effort to explain having a ball in the first place. PHOTO: WILLIAM LORENZ Paxman: A very nice bloke' continued from page am'. team members denied that eventually turned out to be free beer provided by Granada, outside rival team hotel rooms in winning the final would change unnecessary, as Mark's child was the show's producers. Karaoke an attempt to intimidate them. their lives in any way. Mark finally born five days after the singing to 'We are the champions' Jeremy Paxman, the Univer- commented that University filming finished. was not especially diplomatic, sity Challenge question master Challenge success didn't predict The glory is not merely but repeating the line 'No time and formidable anchorman of 'how good drinkers or how good limited to a half hour slot on for losers' did not apparently go BBC 2's political review, News- lovers' they were, but 'merely BBC2 as the team has also made down too well with the inebri- night, did not pose any problems showed that we can win quiz appearances on The Big ated opposing teams. for the team. Chris says that he programmes.' Breakfast, Greater London Radio The team summed up their was a 'very good, very nice bloke', Excitement was added to the (GLR), The Evening Standard, experience as 'stressful' empha- and that after the final he joined final rounds as the competition and are booked for an IC sising how different it is answer- them in the celebratory drinking. was held two days before the Reporter interview, or PRAVDA ing the questions in the studio as Mark, 34, felt that he was less captain's wife was due to give as Jim describes the college opposed to relaxing at home. intimated by Paxman because he birth to their first child. paper. Mark emphasises that Their total score of f 495 over was older.'We took the piss out Concerned that she might winning has not changed the five rounds was one of the high- of him,' he said. distract the team if she went into team: 'We were always this bad', est ever seen in the tournament, Speaking to Felix earlier this labour during filming, she he insists. or as Mark puts it: 'Two standard week, the team were relaxed decided to stay at home for the Festivities following the final deviations away from anyone about their imminent fame. All crucial matches. This anxiety were helped along by plenty of else." FEATURE FELIX FRIDAY 3RD MAY 1995 . FIVE
In the tradition of suicide notes the world over, front, I had some great friendships developing, papers and started the joyous task of 'job hunt- by the time you read this article I shall be some- things was going well with the newspaper and ing' as I believe it is popularly called. where far away. Goodbye cruel world... my radio show was gaining notoriety, if not pop- Several hours of the nicest possible tele- Well not quite. I may be heading to a dark ularity: why worry about my poxy little course? phone voice in recent history later, threatening and foreboding place, but on closer inspection That would sort itself out, surely. Pass the Stoli, much violence to my brother's antiquated that turns out to be Sunderland, not Hades. Not thank you very much. Amiga and its equally ancient printer workmate, an obvious distinction, I might add, but a crucial Of course, when you're doing the most several copies of my appropriately sanitised CV one. Are you sitting comfortably? Then we can exacting degree in Europe, things are fairly were winging their wicked way to unsuspecting begin... unlikely to sort themselves out. companies across the region. (Swirly special flashback-type effects...) This realised, I leapt into panic mode, "Yes of course I have extensive clerical When I decided to start my degree in working unheard of hours to try and get back on experience," I was heard to claim. "Well moti- Aeronautical Engineering - I'll admit it - I was target. Throwing myself into the maelstrom that vated? Oh yes, absolutely. Reliable? drunk. There were a few places left on the old is an Aero student's Easter break, I rapidly had Enthusiastic? That goes without saying, sir," I UCAS form, so I thought: "Why not? I always my worst fears confirmed, that I was a) unable grovelled, realising for the first time how much wanted to be a spaceman." Thus a fabulous and b) unwilling to complete the course. arse-licking really goes on in the strange world of career was to be born. So why now, six ignoring people of education, ambition, months down the winding track that is *$ intelligence and original thought for those this country's educational system, am I with a sad devotion to those holding the writing an article on getting out? pay packets, a world which lauds obscurity The answer is that I have done. Read and mediocrity as virtuous, a world that we that again and you'll get it. Due to various risibly call real life. factors I came to the decision that being Yes, that's right, I haven't got a job yet. an Aeronautical Engineer was just not for Upon my return to London the week me. The first person I contacted was an before the start of what was to be my final old friend who'd been through a similar term, one quick chat with my Senior Tutor experience whilst reading Applied Physics and it was all over, quite literally in min- at Durham. We chatted for quite a while, utes. It was ironic that after all the and I was given confidence that I was not H upheavals and heartache of getting to alone. The testosterone dominated atmosphere Having recovered from the resultant bac- Imperial in the first place, never mind the sleep- of the College encourages few to divulge their chanalian blow-out that such realisations often less nights debating the issue of quitting, that shortcomings, especially those who've had it pre-empt, I looked to my parents for guidance, the act itself was so transitory. Not so much as a academically easy in the past. A big step is and like the best of counsellors, they merely form to sign. Walking out into the April sunshine acknowledging that you've made a mistake, brought out to the fore what I'd been thinking I was left feeling quite, quite lost. I'd talked it whether that be in your original choice of course all along; to start thinking along the lines of through until I was, if not blue, then a pretty off- or the amount of work you've put into it. doing something else. purple in the face. "I'm sure I'm doing the right thing" I heard my self saying to those I had Mine was a hybrid case; it's challenging to But what? sounded out. take on a demanding course that interests you, "So, what, a day job? Not in this life" was likewise, a tiresome subject can be made palat- the first thing to traipse merrily into my con- Talking it over is one thing. Grasping the able by it being simple to succeed in. However, sciousness from the pen of Tarantino. But as I reality once the talking has been done is quite when you manage to find yourself on a course as thought about it, what else is there to do? another. impossibly difficult as it is mind numbingly It is notoriously difficult to take advantage tedious, you should realise you've got problems. of one's parents properly if you're hanging I would like to apologise for getting all seri- During the Spring Term the merest consid- around the house all day. And the only other ous at the end of this article, and also to thank all eration of leaving College hadn't had the temer- way for educated teenagers to make money is by those who have made my time here so enjoyable. ity to think about crossing my mind. Things dealing. After only a few moments hesitation, I You know who you are. seemed to be promising on the relationships reluctantly opened the weekend's pile of news- Jonathan Trout.
Liketuise, look into your accom- Don't worry about finding some- Don't Panics modation agreements. Vou may thing else to do. The very fact Don't bottle it up; tell people be liable for forfeit payments if that you got into Imperial shouus uuhot's on your mind os soon as Find out your position aiith your you don't approach it carefully. that you are more than capable possible. Talk to your friends, L€R; you may need to pay back Take plenty of time and advice of getting on a course or career family, counsellors, pastoral staff some of your grant, or they may to decide your future, as rushing of your choosing. - it doesn't need to be formal, be nasty to you and not give from one ill suited course into Make sure you get a bloody and talking about the problem you any money ever again. another would be disheartening good send off. often gets it into perspective. to say the least. Department of Electronics and Computer Science
PhD Studentships The Department has a number of fully-funded PhD studentships {fees plus maintenance) for suitably qualified EC candidates in the following areas: Communications Declarative Systems and Software Engineering Design Automation Image, Speech and Signal Processing Infra Red Technology Microelectronics Multimedia Systems Neurofuzzy Intelligent Systems and Control Optical Fibres Parallel and Distributed Computing Transducers, Sensors and Instrumentation Multidisciplinary research projects with other areas (medicine, biology, chemistry, physics, electrical, mechanical and civil engineering) are also available. Web site address http://www.ecs.soton.ac.uk/ An enhanced grant is payable to well-qualified students in some circumstances. Enquiries and requests for a copy of the postgraduate brochure and application form should be directed to Mrs A Donohue, Department of Electronics and Computer Science, University of Southampton, Highfield, Southampton SO 17 IBj. Tel: (01703) 592882, fax: (01703) 592901, Email: [email protected] Please quote reference PU/l/7
University of Southampton
A centre of excellence for university research and teaching
Permanent And Temporary Opportunities In The Centre For Computing Services
The College relies heavily on its PCs and their bu$t~a~gut comedy club presents support. Would you like to work in the Centre and contribute to this vital activity?
There are advertisements for permanent posts THE PRO PLUS together with corresponding Job Descriptions on the World Wide Web. (from the College Home Page, under "Opportunities at Imperial COMEDYTOUR College", click on employment with the College) WITH If you are graduating from College this year and think you might be suitable, I would very much MILES CRAWFORD like to hear from you. SIMON FOX There are also a number of opportunities for undergraduates to work for the Centre, on MAN WITH THE BEARD specific projects during the summer vacation. If you are interested, send me a CV including details of your computing skills, knowledge and ENTS LOUNGE experience. FRI. MAY 10TH I look forward to hearing from you. 8PM. £2 Lindsay Coleman ([email protected]) Departmental Administrator (ext 46901) STUFF FELIX FRIDAY 3RD MAY 1996 . SEVEN
d u rushar;i>did li/Has poi/card. 'Jo friars.
i net across Europe." WE KNOW WHAT'S IN YOUR FRIDGE UyiyuifeayAyWyi ''Xu&MPP(-yIx¥x ithin Europe 'oi i 59 We all know that the fridge is traditionally the hub of y:i?'':! ©terry-" student flatsharing. In a survey of 500 student house- ;yyyy,yx ::i%:>fi f you con jef holds, the. following - rather odd - results have been yr^yy jy;M found: 'HtyfyyfVv.' , 70% of students say that the communal fridge is ;hyyyy. TyMihi ilk,'; now the most common cause of student flatshare ihuf. "M disputes. , 90% of students have had food or drink stolen from :vi,.?.yv;;-' Wo!: --hu'V ; their communal fridge. yi:j,-:i ooyl -:fK'1sfikh ye.ur ^yjyfcyi: .: ' * i , 83% of students have stolen somebody else's food : . ( '.. i y7'o.-o,oor'~"' Ic y from their communal fridge. hove '.!': "frcy:: v-vw-i:-. M -ji'sj ; If, : j if i'h ii M , 65% students would stock more food if they o.y/o ry y yyyo o .W :W y. ;;ci i :e, believed that it would not be stolen. i- aoycWiW.y :Voy: v.;' 3 iySyo; iy,;, , 51% students have shared a fridge with another stu- ;y;y: i!y yjyolyy KW:ho yo..y vWo. dent with 'unacceptable' hygiene standards. W>;'W' i , 84% student fridges contain alcohol. , 63% clean their fridge at least once every two - 'fid!
: months. oyo.' ;y.:.:. .:.K.J:.n:, vs., ;.. .. y; , 11% students have never cleaned a fridge. oi: yvv- , 4% students claim that they have made love o :h hi.- 'iy-.h j> ,-y,- iyiiioiv against the fridge: "' , ow oooo . ' isi i 'WorWriir.i )WWy:y o ;usi WoJWy , 40% student fridges are less than half stocked (not in my hall, they're not). ; f , 2% fridges are completely empty. "* 'Wy-wW-y : , 21% students claim that the students they share ^:::::;:::::yyy--: - y fyy y:y :y :::yyyy:yyyyyy--y--: -:i- -:;f with place too much emphasis on a clean fridge. ;.yy o.-r, Wyoyyo-oyW:;-;! :yo> | :: S: r ; ! , 2% students will only share a fridge with another ice,':. y#i;y ::r*:'c-1 'y:y : y';"'vs. '°' Ciyjr-K'r: i ';JN. yy:::Vyly^-jy\j Woo. 'j I . vegetarian. : - W WW ry-^v-y ;-:-.ji.l)|; . , 1 8% students have got their own back on flat- or 1 WW y:yy;y:yy; .^yr-^.i'viv.^p's, mates by stealing or spiking their flatmates food. neoriv: i'-ryyoV,,'';"''!-;: ':-iv-v-:: "olid :
, 7% students claim they could live without a fridge. ; from i :g:|'v:yb c,,iry 97.
; : yyy!:yy;:::y::::.::..;:y:,y:y:;::: : y;y:;:y::: y y:;:;;y: yy|: y-:; yyy::;: To the right are the 'average' contents of a student So, H.y yy-'yi'.yyi yTyy'.- lis-y'-ifs fridge, plus an exclusive insight into the Felix fridge! '.yyiiiyyy .yv::;;'« » :.; %!.'<;': : ooyjCi..:, STA y: y i y y:; 3 y:;:" yftj ).:' ;.., i . »y y H: y:i {.-:. :'. ;?i ,:y..yjyr : ^iif.r. yyyyy-y.;v1 iCy:yy:' problfyly-y^ cover. Instead this is the somewhat :#i::i:::::i::::::::.:; 'ipaian by th yi\ ::: And now for a piece of blatant advertising. Bored of revising already? Want something to do instead of all that coursework sue to taking ec$tacy is that's due in tomorrow? Of iohydration. So, remember to drink course you do! Then why not I'm afraid take up Halibut Surfing! Eh? No, I mean; Then why not : i write a feature for Felix! ,u!ar sips of water and World fame*! Fabulous Pay*! food are recommended Offers of Sexual Gratification to keep you from running out of From Members Of The : y Opposite Sex**! and even a Cup Of Tea!!!!! So what are you waiting for... get writing!
* This is patently untrue.
: : : ** Only if you're an open- yyy:' y yy: y;g: ' , :yy:: v : > ; . : minded gerbil called Kevin. AGM The Royal College of Science Unionfs Annml General Thursday 9 May 1996 at 1230 iCU Ents Lounge
Elections of Union Officers
...and the Annual Union Report.
All members of the RCS Union are entiled to vote, propose motions, and speak from the floor.
For more information, contact the RCSU onx48075.
Please bring your Green iCU Cards to vote. Quorum is seventy ordinary full members.. Langlands & Bell is at the Serpentine Gallery, Hyde Park. Entry is free to this survey of the collaborative works of the two British artists, primarily focusing on the nature of architecture through furniture and wall reliefs.
left: conversation seat above: BMW
exhibition: langlands and beE tchel < T column: simon baker Tfr
babe magnet book: the consumers good chemical guide ... insight: chernobyl 10 years on:arl o and ben I album: the cranberries - to the faithful departed gig: the auteurs 1 v U album: k's choice - paradise in me. singles:v album: rage against the machine - evil empire, o-o gig: ruby + red snapperLbEA, " film: 12 monkeys & broken arrow theatre: trainspotting theatre: the prince's play'kur. t Jacobs 1 theatre: the complete works of shakespeare simon baker that is the Biomedical 'Welcome to Imperial Sciences Building, yet when College, London. The only the Chemistry lecture the- college that is ahead of cur- atres finally succumbed a rent thinking.' Such was the few weeks ago, it was a very greeting from the security poignant, moving moment guard as the faithful *fc when I saw my first entered the Centra encounter with the non-alco- Library last week. Since holic aspects of IC reduced 9:30 is too early for satire or strong drink, it must to rubble. You see, Ian Caldwell, I'm a big softie be true. This, together with the frenzied bell- at heart. ringing at chucking out time- putting the campus Politically, it is not necessary to have current into campanology - illustrates the strange effect newspapers to report accurately the state of play, this building has on the boys in grey. I put it down as nothing seems to have changed for months. to all the dust on the books, but it made me Tony Blair smiles, John Major dithers and Paddy laugh so it's fine by me. And no more references Ashdown... well, does it matter? I have, over the to Dad's Army, I promise. past few months, put a brave face on the fate of As regular readers oi this column will know, the Government at the next election, but even I like to go on holiday in the first week of term I'm resigned to the fact that it ain't looking good. just as you, the punters, return. The shifty bloke The continuing BSE crisis in particular has around IC this week who bears an uncanny focussed on the inconsistencies that are so dam- resemblance to me is a paid double in to sit a aging, by rrrixing wholly justified attacks on the couple oi exams. Newspapers take a little while baseless intransigence of the EU with subse- to reach the Caribbean, so this week will be a tad quent backtracking and kowtowing. While it is less topical than usual. Beiore I went, I did grab good that this issue has stimulated debate on the a copy oi that thunderer oi the press IC Reporter present future role of Europe and Britain's place and saw that Silwood's chef has just won an in it, I suspect it is a discussion that John Major award. Brilliant, but why confine the man's tal- needs like a hole in the head. ents to the sticks? I know you'll find this hard to I have just heard from the cocktail waiter believe, but some people ieel that College that Imperial won University Challenge, after Catering is not quite as good as it should be, so progressively more emphatic performances in let's get him up here. li he can, for example, sort the heats. He didn't say whether you managed out, the Linstead meals, he'll get more than a to answer any science questions correctly, but so Good Heart Beat Award for Excellence. He'll what, and who cares if the closest IC got to get a knighthood. female representation on the team was someone 1 have on numerous occasions criticised the whose surname was Totty? That cocky captain of good folk oi College Estates over the catastrophe LSE was ripe for a fall. Good work fellas! book: the consumers good chemical guide - all it can to global w arming and is realty a spent force". (He is not afraid to be contentious!) As I John emsley progressed through the took, other problems Mild is less fattening than Guinness. Lessen the v ith liis arguments cropped up Enisfev states effect oi your hangover by drinking a glass of full- that metal salts leach hum l'VC, wbn humid be fat milk beforehand and have a sweet breakfast used to wrap looct He asKs|CovJd these salts afterwards. If there was ever a famine, chemists contkiunate the food'3 No, because the amounts could turn sawdust and paper into high energy" \\fhich |nj|p'ate pre insignificant". Yet they aic glucose. Olestra, the non-fattening iat is madfof leltcfrmg and contan)inattng'thc iood to a small high energy sugar. All these iacts and more aie-n eltent Here.Emsley seems anogant, confeermng your fingertips ii you read this book by John the jjetceptifm of chemists » uncaring about Emsley, Imperial's resident science writer and pubic emoti#ns ancfiocusedoaiv on the statisti- ~B>S:S.lll:iV A, AJAAi frequent contributor to New Scientist. cal evidence ^--which ne-'isftrying'to dispel. Ele ^:l^^|| ; '^|;^;^^. Emsley explores areas oi chemistry which are seen in a generally negative light by the pub-./ ...... lie. He discusses amongst others iat, dio\ins, iar more good Uian har^^^^^^^^^^
PVC, nitrate, carbon dioxide, alcohol and qifc.-: ers, trying to dispel the myths that have . uj&eri public iear. He rightly points out that tbei i . :'| IS public phobia of the word 'chemical', yet of grippingtban otlu ! , btitcfieirfa! substances are course everything around us contains chemicals. well indexed throughout the text and the writ- Emsley bashes environmentalists through- ing style imakes the book accessible by anyone out the book, but trips over himself; "[the envi- (although harder work ll you do not have a ronmentalists] use phrases like 'it is believed chemical background). Lend it to your non-sci- that'; speaking the language oi doubt wfe|fi . ; . ,:::l.s. appearing to be sure" - but Emsley uses the same imfgfW': I *| ?M-t$$l im; |; ' \ < a . v>is illlf 1111 Half Lives, >in *ght° Ruined Lives
On April 26th, 1986 at 123am, a huge explosion in Reactor 4 at the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Station in the Soviet Union marked the advent of what was to be the worlds worst nuclear disaster. "What happened", inquired a confused senior oper- ator shortly afterwards in the units control room. "I seem to remember you saying that the chance of an accident was one in ten million", he continued. "Yes", confirmed a fellow operator, "and this seems to be it." Carlo Massarella reports.
he explosion had dislodged the 2,000 entists claim the health of those tonne reactor lid. Fuel rods and affected by the blast will suffer graphite blocks were spat out of the T "for generations, practically forev- core and a plume of radioactive dust began to er." It was announced last week form over the devastated site. The force of that the children of parents the blast shunted the reactor base down four meters. Hot nuclear fuel combined with the exposed to Chernobyl's fallout sand released from the reactors encasement have twice the number of genetic to form a molten lava that burrowed its way mutations as British Children. through the floors below. Psychological studies of affected parties indicates high stress levels Immediate effort was channelled into extin- - a factor linked to increased cases guishing the inferno and to determine whether a of depression, high blood pres- fatal self-sustaining chain reaction might occur. sure, and alcoholism. Cases of Site workers hastily made sand bags to add to thyroid cancer in children and pilots' bombing artillery oi boron and lead in adolescents in the Ukraine and what was to be a futile attempt to quell the neighbouring Belarus have flames. Fireman fought the flames heroically - increased 1000 fold. wearing standard uniform, their boots melted in Today, an eerie wind of silence the intense heat while their bodies became sweeps through the 30km exclu- infected with 'Chernobyl AIDS'. Engineers at sion zone around the concrete sar- the Chernobyl site continued unabated in the cophagus which conceals the construction of reactors 5 and 6, while the chil- remnants of horrific disaster. The dren of Prypiat just 3km away played on. power station, hailed in February While the battle against the blast raged, 1986 as a 'model of safety', still another desperate fight commenced. This time employs 5,000 people to oversee the rules on engagement were not the contain- the mnning of its two functioning
Crumbling - Chernobyl's sarcophagus encases 30 reactQrs Research chemob ment of radiation but the concealment of infor- - j tonnes of radioactive dust. . . . , , mation. What shocked the world most was the has been cut back. 1 he sarcopha- complacency of the people involved. A tight veil in a mound of conflicting statistics. Chernobyl gus containing 30 tonnes of radioactive dust con- of secrecy was hand-crafted by Soviet officials in and its casualties became the victims of clashing tinues to crumble. Experts monitoring its state an attempt to shield the world, including political agendas with events being consumed by predict a 'radioactive dust disaster' will occur in President Gorbachev, from the horrors that had copious information protection agencies of the the next 20 years. Soviet authorities claim $4bil- occurred. Incredibly, it was almost 3 days later, former Soviet Union and the Western world. lion is needed to close down the station and 're- 1,000 miles north of Chernobyl, that details of For those living in the aftermath, house' the disabled reactor. So far, the Western a nuclear incident became apparent. A worker Chernobyl's legacy is all to apparent. Russian sci- world has not been forthcoming with the funds. clocking-off at Fosmark Nuclear Power Station in Sweden sparked initial concerns when his clothes registered higher than normal radiation The Experiment That Went Wrong readings. Senior operators immediately feared a leak at their plant. But before a discharge was located, Swedish meteorological centres identi- pounded with an inadequate, shutdown sys- tors of inN potential danger, ironically, on die fied airborne radioactive particles. Three tems, KMBK. reactors like the one at /.- .;-: :'),.;': / ; : ,; : 'V-V;;
Government agencies in Moscow denied allega- : : : Chernobyl rely on pressurised water as a :'..,!; '.: p'- " r- p. tions of a disaster. Only that evening did the r ,: ! coolant This means that inside the reactor, '-. \X^?'^i::*fr': ::.'.' s." ',-/. ;:V..:,.C Russian news agency, Tass release a brief state- steam is produced which can accumulate, into ment confirming an 'accident' had indeed pockets (.-ailed voids. The problem with pre- V; -:V::C,-:^^:':: f ----- \.' '
occurred. ! Chemobyl KMBKs was that if too many voids ' :':'.' .'' ': ' ''-.:- v* '.. After the accident, over 500,000 people 'appeared in the reactor, the power generation ipy,v;' .. ' . : ---.C ' >' - assisted in an 8 month clean-up and entombing could increase rapidly because steam absorbs operation. Constructing the concrete coffin gave less" neutrons than water does. In normal oper- half of these people a whole life- ation this cannot 'occur and die reactor is stable. time's recommended dose of radia- wjr-*| However, if the rxwer generation falls helcv. a tion. The incident became entangled .^m. JL certain threshold, tlie reaction can get out of album: the cranberries - - uations I'll be more convinced... V::. : : i: iiiiliii i:iiilff fliiiiii: i:i: f ii il: :: Z:' - i f: ;:ii CI:: to the faithful departed aroline Nonetheless, the album has some good songs in the classic Cranberries style, in 'The Rebels', ixMpM-MM:,:, "Mih¥ Finally, a few years and a few million years later, I'm Still Remembering', and of course the first ^^:^.r%^.:-r : -/... The Cranberries are releasing their third album. single, 'Salvation', which should keep the fans As expected, the songs rely going until the tour in heavily on the unique voice of December. They have also lib':/yM'ii\ Dolores, which may or may tested a few new ideas such not be a good thing depending Vj as a Taize-esque chant in IP"';': ' V gM M^AW CO ,ff O WCCi on your point of view. Her 'Electric Blue', and the rather M'^:MM'::'::-':"''' o::o: P : voice is backed up ably by the Doors-ish organ solo in 'Free v ... ;c;'CC:C-Ci;oO; O instruments and an increasing- To Decide'. Unfortunately, in a couple of songs they go f ":: :T 'f ' ' '.'. : : ' ly strong percussion section, M'X'^'MMM : " :;: ; ': '-. culminating in the almost mil- overboard, with the music in 'Joe' and the drums in itary tattoo beating through . " 'Bosnia' overwhelming the 'Bosnia'. 'MMgMMM?:M:': This leads on to the fact I voice, destroying the balance that this album is used as a which characterises much of MMMM M'ij/^MvM ffoo vehicle for various messages: anti-war in 'War their other work. gig: the auteurSn MM, . ;::M;:;:; : of;/ V 'P. .,c»cfc days and everybody knows the words. There is an Pi "Cheers," utters Luke Haines, the king of intro- intensity about the crowd that is mirrored in the :' . " ' I fp spection and pen master of scary lyrics . Is that all band who need to concentrate because the 'tunes' ::;:;; oPfPio;P''; flcpioo. he has to say? "Cheers", I ask you. What next? are hard to play. The crowd sways in near silence 'cP : ofoppiPf The Auteurs recording an AOR record? No as the band start the set with the tide track from - 0:PoC'''.f xxMMMmx. chance. Luke realises his mistake and satisfies the the new album After Murder Park'. It is then that : MMm, mxMPmPCmMm crowd with some abuse. Luke utters his "Cheers". As you can tell, this is no normal gig. After all, The energy of the band builds through the MMixlx:PMMMr::\MMMMMx\ The Auteurs are a band who are not really acces- gig. They haven't played live for a while and it sible to the kids and so there are no spotty mosh- shows, but they dig in, and the energy of James ; ";: : . . . ' ers here (apart from two crazy French girls). To the cellist combined with the hushed tones of the „MM '' ooPi P oPP PPp say that they are an acquired taste is an under- lyrics brings forth the intensity of the band. As the MMmmMM>MMM}MM : statement. Described by one journalist as the type set progresses the songs begin to gel and the gMMMy:pMMnp£xy,:': of band "who sound like diey were good at maths crowd sway with greater vigour. By the end of the "xMMM 'f'f fpof' -VP at school" they play music that is in your face, gig The Auteurs and the crowd are well satisfied with the inspiration for their songs coming from with the performance. The third encore is a clas- missing children to child brides. sic rendition of 'Lenny Valentino', crashing guitars Unsurprisingly, the gig has a unique atmos- and crazy lyrics combining to send the gig-goers phere. The new album has been out for just four home delighted. album: k's choice - oblige... paradise in melk Predictably, the rest of the album doesn't quite live up to the sublime gs^rjrt^r|s of the M"'-£ E\er\' now and again a song < onu s along dial is l/lllliyick, but if.it had y|iSIiliiiioulcl special. I don't mean |pod, or even just plain have aped I my w," excellent. I mean special * a song which , apturcs Wyyoof . M your atteMbn'''witfrin-yite . . .; . ' of Tm l;m iff bunts uitir ears until they are overd^ng qe| its^ strains, which, };.. opf cfPP' reinember where.vou were\\hen u>li I'ilM llOU'd it. Ooff M P»;P For me, ^W^^^^B^fe MiMM room with < WMp" MMiMMMMMx ¥ might floated into iffy: head and reiftithc ; : -fP y :' : othecate- ly Four and a igpminutes o|i|Bil MM sion, guitars and wondrous n iiember praising gobsmacked. The song nd. Belgium but it had turned me into IliS^ffi&rhoxvCHikleverhave er hit quick. Thankfully pu \t< album: rage against the more percussive. The latter song, in particular, is i try where they get it just right, where the emotional machine - evil empirevi k pressure is allowed to slowly rise until the seal breaks and the song explodes into one of those Rage Against The Machine hardly need an intro- cataclysmic finales that this band are so good at duction. Their debut album was a wrecking-ball delivering. of aggression driven by Tom The problem is that from here Morello's incredible array of on it all gets, well, a little pre- guitar sounds and Zack de la dictable. From 'Vietnow' |%out: Evelliftinttes her Rocha's indignant rap vocals, through 'Revolver' and on to while 'Killing In The Name' 'Year Of Tha Boomerang' it's became every rock-club goer's the same formula and one that stomp anthem. Perhaps in view hardly needs repeating. minty - dial's nice of having a lot to live up to, it Although there aren't any bad has taken them three years to songs there is a conspicuous release the follow-up, although absence of memorable apparently it only took them moments resulting in a homo- about three weeks to actually geneous mass of slighdy tedious record it. The trouble is that in aural anger. some places it shows... Although I'm sure that the 'People Of The Sun' and energy of their forthcoming live recent single 'Bulls On Parade' shows will more than compen- open things in fine style and sate for the quality ot the songs, showcase the new Rage sound - one that still I can't help feeling that they're going to have do hinges around Morello's guitars and de la Rocha's something new and a bit quicker than it took anarchistic stance, but which is now less riffy and them to do this. (6) the recorded version. bb - don't put vow -gig: ruby+red snapper EA Perhaps the poor showing was due to nerves. The recently refurbished, 'ultimate' concert After all, this is their first gig in the capital, tar wotfeit. He'ldone beP; venue of ULU was sold out weeks in advance and although they have been playing in Europe since was packed with people eager to see Ruby's first the New Year. I only hope that they develop gig in London. The DJ, Dean Thatcher, did an enough to do justice to the excellent material they blur - charmless man excellent job of warming up the crowd with a have. selection of jungle anthems and house tracks, and Red Snapper, however, were a different ket- : Ruby came on to a warm tle of fishQ). After more reception. classy tunes from the DJ, Ruby's excellent album, they came on and hit an 'Salt Peter', was a landmark infectious groove immedi- in the ever-expanding land- ately. For those of you scape that is trip-hop. It was unacquainted with their essentially the work of work, it is best described as Lesley Rankine together 'future jazz'. 'Reeled & with a bunch of producers Skinned', their album, is a and programmers. In other fantastic voyage through words, it was very much a jazz licks coupled with studio album and so it was dubby, chilled out, trip- always going to be difficult hoppy beats, and that to translate the songs to a essential groove. They are live environment without even better live! simply singing along to taped The rhythm section was i;io\v BIOLOGY MA Y BALL FORUM HOTEL, CROMWELL ROAD J> % a FRIDAY I0 THMAY TICKETS ON SALE NOW £33.00, FROM BIOLOGY OFFICE EVERYONE WELCOME 3 COURSE MEAL + WWE CZ! BLACK TIE "film: 12 monkeys,nagpi e to be a famous virologist... Bmce Willis is surprisingly good and suc- IfltOT ' <'lt! Bruce Willis plays Cole, an observer sent from ceeds in creating the necessary madman-or- 042> the future to gather information on the events prophet uncertainty. Pitt gleefully over-acts, his the birdcige which led to the death of 5 billion people in a exaggerated nervous twitches possibly indicating 9,35 viral epidemic, and to trace the terrorist group something more amiss than just a psychological ritv hail 1.45, 4.25, 7.05;i believed to be responsible. As Cole is swatted illness. Stowe is elegant as the disbeliever who is pthoflo !, 3.50, 6.40, 9.30 back and forth through time, he becomes more dragged into Cole's 'delusions'. certain of the involvement of the Army of the The plot is weU-constructed, sidestepping 12 Monkeys, even as his own grasp on reality the possible traps of time paradoxes - Cole's starts to decay. overseers know they won't be able to change pufe;:4 i .40, 4.20, 7.00, For his doomsday prophecies, Cole is diag- what has already happened, but they want a nosed as a delusional psychotic and placed in an sample of the pure vims in order to find a cure. asylum under the treatment of psychiatrist 12 Monkeys is undoubtedly the easiest of Madeleine Stowe. In the asylum he also meets Terry Gilliam's films to watch but as he was just Jeffrey Goines, an inmate whose father happens the hired hand, his vision was only secondary. The action set-pieces are really spectacular, "' US' !l;;p!: film: broken arrow,magpi e and director John Woo does everything right, 1 fx), 3_4< t> i-,;',(), 920" but he's let down by a truly appalling script, with far too many awful cliches. :9Si While on a stealth bomber training flight, Vic Deakins (John Travolta) steals a couple of Good takings at the American box office ,9ill nuclear bombs, and ejects his copilot Riley Hale have ensured that Travolta will escape unscathed (Christian Slater) from the plane. Why? He has by this pretty poor film, but his character is so been passed over for promotion once too often, over the top that he's no longer amusing. The hi,Cjimi.lO, 3.40, 6.10, 8.40 and wants to gets his own back and make some film has little to commend it apart from the money by holding the government to ransom. action sequences, and the Malteser-melting Hale predictably decides that it's his duty to Slater. In a similar vein, Mathis is only there for stop Deakins, and drags an innocent park ranger the delectation of the blokes. (played by Samantha Mathis) along with him. Broken Arrow is a wannabe Speed, but fails The two of them set off across the Utah out- in suspense and script despite being written by back, implausibly dodging bullets, helicopter Speed's writer Graham Yost. It's a mindless blades, trucks and an underground nuclear action film and as long as you don't expect any- explosion on the way. thing more it's passable. . , | ' MY LIfk= STORY 5J% i ""'If ^Cross Water ^ Pole Joust ox^^ TONIGHT Available torn ICU and C&G Offi The Biggest RSC HIT of the year 8pm EVERY TUESDAY £50 CASH PRIZE 8 more! 271 STA TRAVEL SUPPORTED BY STA TRAVEL IMPERIAL COIUGE Tit: 0)71 Stl «M2 IMPERIAL COLLEGE YOGA SOCIETY Kundalini Yoga is called Yoga of Awareness, because it helps you understand what you need to improve the quality of your life, and health. In addition, Kundalini Yoga can help you acquire the energy and focus to attain and maintain these things. COMMON QUESTIONS Q Is it dangerous? Those who call Kundalini dangerous usually have no personal experience of this particular system and are often simply repeating hearsay. Its reputation as dangerous arises from the immense transformative power of the practice. It works very quickly. Q Is Kundalini yoga similar to other forms of yoga? It is similar in so far as it contains the same elements as other forms of yoga but it differs in its combination of those elements. Q What will it do for me? Greater clarity of thought, increased vitality, inner tranquillity, less stress and the ability to relax are frequently experienced with regular practice. Q What is a Kundalini yoga class? EVERY ThuRsdAy The usual format is some warm-up exercises followed by a kriya-Deep relaxation precedes the meditation which often takes the form of chanting. Date: Starts: Thursday Zod ^ 1996 ^ I Time: 6.15 pm - 7.45 pm Price:£5.00 per session - £3.00 students Place: Union Building, Top Floor, TableTennis Room, Imperial College Prince Consort Road, South Kensington, London SW7 2AY Enquiries: Mark Nuttall 0171 594 8237 or Pauline Yacoubian 0171 244 9675 Instructor: Pauline Yacoubian also known as Puran Kaur, the name given to NON'A her by her spiritual teacher Kundalini Master Yogi Bhajan. You will need to wear loose comfortable clothes, bring mat, towel or blanket. llliKil play - trainspottingc aire Samuel tunity to see the stage version. After starting out on the fringe, they had a short stay in the /WSn i-, i-in-. Ii If -in Ambassadors in the West End followed by a country-wide tour, and have now set- tled in the Whitehall theatre. Our guide to Edinburgh lowlife is Renton, who introduces us to his associates and haunts. It is the script rather than the min- imalist black set, which describes the squalor. There is virtually no plot, just a stream of loosely connected reminis- cences which are disgusting and offensive, ill-'"1'. ^(l^:.:: 1 but somehow very funny. The small cast of four leads to some identification prob- dfoimLn'/"*/ lems, but does include the entertaining Maybe you've read the book, you've probably double of the psychopath Begbie also playing seen the film and unless you've been holidaying Renton's mother. on Mars you could not have failed to miss the If you enjoyed the film, you'll love this, but hype. So now Londoners have their third oppor- be quick: it closes on May 11th. play play- the prince's ^a™ izen you would be too, I hasten to add.) In 1832 the premiere of Victor Hugo's 'The Good performances from Ken Stott (as the . ' : ' : ... i ::::.: Prince's Play' ('Le Roi s'amuse') caused the central character the Prince's Jester), and Arlene French King Louis-Philippe so much concern Cockburn (as the Jester's Daughter), among with its portrayal of the Prince as an underhand- others, provide an evening of fine drama. ed scoundrel, that the opening night was also the However, one feels that many of the Play's most last night of the run. In the 1990's, we may intense moments are held for too long; while expect no such reaction to Tony Harrison's Victor Hugo possessed many undoubted talents, '' 'K::Yi:::.::^ English adaptation. Many today would no longer perhaps we may accuse him of not knowing even agree with the Victorian modes of thought when to shut up. so integral to the plot. The sets are very impressive, and maintain 111 || The fact that the script is in verse, while not the excellent standard which we have come to : overly apparent, serves to enhance the (correct) expect from the Royal National. In particular, impression that the play was written a century much of the stage is water for some scenes, and and a half ago, and it is perhaps more interesting it really rains on stage, replete with thunder and K. 1Spm, Q 2 as a historical piece than it is enjoyable as a pro- lightning. This is not a play for all tastes, but duction in its own right. (Unless you happen to under Richard Eyre's direction it is well staged like that kind of thing - and a fine upstanding cit- and well perfoirned. play - the complete works memorable bit is when they get through all the histories as an American football game. And they of william shakespeare don't just spend the entire second half on Hamlet, but we get an extra-concise three (abridged) ad i minute version, and then 'just one last time', only Time Out says "It just ain't backwards. fun any more" but quite Any complaints you could ..... frankly they've lost their have with the perfor- sense of humour. mance would only imply Admittedly, the idea is that you were taking it all nine years old, and back in too seriously. It is certainly London after a tour round very silly, and with the the country, but the great tradition of audience Reduced Shakespeare participation is more of a Company are doing an pantomime than a play, admirable job of making but the humour is refresh- their adaptation of the ingly innocent and fast- bard's entire works still paced. seem off-the-cuff. On Tuesday nights the trio ispaptsf®' is i§*f: SBp i;i.:f f' It's all over in 97 min- take a break from toying :|i::|i|a|||ti|3S0d utes (so we're told) and in with English literature in 7,30pM v,.i monday tuesday Wednesday 8 may may may Student Industrial Society Cathsoc IC Sailing Club 12 - 2pm. Table Tennis room, Union build- 12.00 pm. Bagritt Centre, Mechanical 12.15pm. Meet at Southside, go sailing.(R) ing. (R) Engineering. (R) Skate Society Fitness Club Yacht Club 12.30pm. Beginners body toning (45 mins) 12.30pm. Lecture Theatre 2, Physics. (R) 12.15pm. Southside Lounge. Contact Alex 5.30pm. Beginners aerobics [email protected], 01 71 352 9111 (R) 6.30pm. Intermediate aerobics. African Caribbean Soc Wargames Southside Gym. (R) 12.30 - 1.30pm. Room G02, Materials dept, lpm Table Tennis room. (R) RSM. All welcome. (R) Ski Club Fitness Club IC Sailing Club 5 - 6pm. Southside Gym. Intermediate/ 5 - 5.45pm. Southside Upper Lounge. (R) Advanced step class. (R) 12.45 - 1.45pm. Southside Lounge. (R) ArtSoc Squash Club AudioSoc 3.20 - 5.20pm. Sports centre. (R) 12.30 - 1.30pm. Brown Committee Room. 1.00pm. Southside Lounge. Want to buy Come and sign up for our many trips to IC Symphony Orchestra Musicals. (R) cheap CDs? Interested in borrowing high- Concert Band end Hi-Fi? We have it all! (R) 7 - 10pm. Great Hall. (R) Photo Soc 5.15pm. Great Hall. Any ability. (R) 1.00pm. Southside Lounge. TO Wing Chun Kung Fu 1.30 - 3.30pm. Union Gym.Union Building. Cross Country Circus Skills Beginners welcome. 1st lesson free. (R) 5 - 8pm. Ents Lounge, [email protected] (R) 5.00pm. Circuit training. Union gym. (R) Ents Fitness Club 7.30pm. Cup Winners Cup Final, followed IC 2nd Orchestra 5.30pm. Advanced aerobics. by a Frolikl - a somewhat truncated night of pure pleasure. B ar 'til 11, midnight finish. 7 - 9pm. Great Hall. All welcome. (R) IC Bridge Club Wednesday Methsoc 6pm in the Clubs Committee Room. (R) 6pm. Prince's Gardens Ecumenical Group. icsf Chaplaincy Office, Northside. (R) 1996 handbook Ents 7pm in STOIC Studios. http://www.ph.ic.ac.uk/moontg/ (R) 8pm Davinci's. More FA Cup footie with IQ The 1996 ICU handbook will be delivered to Standing Room Only. 7.30pm. Brown Committee Room. the doorstep of all next year's freshers during monday Further Info: [email protected] or September, guaranteeing you a captive audi- http://pink.doc.ic.ac.uk/IC/ (R) ence. Entries of not more than 300 words, union general ideally with a decent quality photograph, Canoe Club and/or logo, should be given to Tim 7pm. Beit Quad. All levels welcome, and Townend, via the ICU offices by May 31st. free instruction. (R) You should include a contact name for next meeting year's committee, giving their department, The Union Annual General Meeting will take 1CCAG year and e-mail address, details of the times place at 12:15pm on Friday 17th May in the 8.15pm. Weeks Hall basement. Soup run for and locations of your meetings, and a general description of what the club does. Ents Lounge. Nominations are open for the the homeless. (R) following posts will which be elected at the meeting - Council Chair, Accomodation Ents Officer, Transport Officer, Welfare Officer, 8pm. Da Vinci's. Bar Trivia. Put all your revi- Women's Officer, Equal Opportunities sion to good use and win yourself £50 in the Officer, Post-graduate Affairs Officer, process. Imperial College Community Action Group Chair, Rag Chair, Web Editor, Haldane Book After Dark and Record Buyer. Papers are on the notice 8 - 11.30pm in the Ents Lounge. Admission board opposite the Union Office, and further is only £1 for a night of swing, hip-hop and information about the elections or posts is jungle with the African Caribbean Society. available from Sarah White, on x58061. Definitely the way to celebrate winning the Nominations are now open for ICU bar quiz. (R) Colours. These awards are made to those who have made a contribution to the Union tuesday over and above that which would normally be expected e.g. as part of their Union/Club position. The awards under consideration by the Colours Committee are Union Social next diary Colours, Outstanding Service Awards and Honorary Life Memberships. Nomination deadline: noon, forms are available from the Union office, and should be submitted to the President by May 6th Wednesday 15th May. TWENTY . FELIX FRIDAY MAY 3RD 1996 DIARY Subwarden thursday friday A subwarden position is now available in Holbein / Willis Jackson Hall in Evelyn 9 lO Gardens. Please contact the Warden, Rowland Travis, in Mechanical Engineering may may 515, extension 47090, e-mail r.travis@ic for Fitness Club Amateur Radio Society (HamSoc) more details. Closing date 13th May. 12.30pm. Die Hard circuit training lpm. Meeting in the shack, top floor of 5.30pm. Beginners aerobics. union building. (R) Homework Assistant Southside Gym. (R) Rag Meeting Required for homework supervision for chil- ConSoc dren aged 12 and 13, weekdays between 5 - lpm. Southside Upper Lounge. http://- 1.1 Opm Ents Lounge. (R) 7 pm. Will entertain only college students, www.su .ic.uk/clubs/societies/sec/consoc- and the applicant should have good English. /home.html (R) Pakistan Society £8 per hour. Please contact 0171 584 5842 3 - 5pm. Basketball, union gym. Contact between 8-9 pm weekdays. Gliding Club Kashif, Aero II, [email protected]. (R) 1pm. Aeronautics 266. (R) Wing Chun Kung Fu 5-7pm. Union Gym, 2nd floor ICU. 1st les- Mountaineering Club son free. (R) afro-carib soc 7pm. Social meeting in Southside Upper Lounge. (R) Fitness Club Annual Dinner May 10th: Drink wine, dine 5.30pm. Advanced step aerobics. Southside on delicious African Caribbean cuisine, be Yoga Soc gym. (R) entertained by the tropical sounds of the 6.15 - 7.45pm. Table tennis room. Beginners' Ebony Steelband, then boogie on down to Kunalini yoga class. More information from Free minibus service the latest in Soul, R&B, Ragga, Jungle, Hi-life [email protected], ex 48237. (R) Leaves from the union, taking lone female and Soca. students home to anywhere in central It's the formal black tie dinner event of Christian Union London. First run midnight, last run 2am. the year, for the bargain price of a tenner for (R) members, £12.50 for non-members, and £5 6.30 - 7.45pm. W2 in Biology. (R) for the dance only. Contact Audrey at friday annal@ic or ext. 52724 for more details. ICCAG 8.15pm. Weeks Hall basement. Soup run for the homeless. (R) Skate Soc ULU Graduate Society Night skate - all welcome. Contact Alex on 0171 352 9111 or [email protected] for For the last three years you thought college Even if you move away the newsletter can more details. (R) was something a bit special but now you help you to stay in touch with university news know that if you can just make it through and issues of interest to you. YHA finals, an even more fabulous life lies before If you are intending to stay resident in or lpm Southside Lounge. "Take a walk on the you: an orgy of fun, freedom, fame, wealth around London, you'll also be able to enjoy wild side." (R) and success. the events on offer. Winetastings, theatre OK, so its a bit over the top. Still, even if trips, a day out in Kew Gardens, a comedy Ents finals pressure hasn't sent you spinning off evening and speakers on UFO's and pagan Cocktail Night at Da Vinci's. Forget it all in into deranged fantasy, with so much to look religion were amongst the events organised in an instant! The best way to celebrate finish- forward to why is the news all so gloomy? the last year or so. ing your exams, or just the fact that it's Unemployed or in a dead end job, defaulting As part of the commitment to provide Thursday. It might not be quite as good as on loan repayments, losing touch with friends the practical support which graduates need, real sex on the beach, but makes for a pretty and forced to live at home again, this is the now more than ever before, networking and good substitute. image so often portrayed of Graduate life. careers events are currently being planned, Whatever may be waiting for you on the while suggestions for other possible graduate thursday other side, however, there are certain things services are also being considered. you can still rely on. One of these is the Finally, and most importantly, the University of London Union (ULU). By Graduate Society encourages involvement. Joining as a Graduate member you can still All contributions to the production of the enjoy all that ULU had to offer you as a stu- newsletter are enthusiastically received, dent. You get access to the fitness centre, while administrative and financial support is swimming pool, sauna, treatments, classes available for any member keen to host a par- and other sports facilities; use of the bars, ticular event. Members are also encouraged restaurants, stationary and sports shops, all of to join the steering committee or to simply go which charge student prices; confidential along to meetings and join in. advice from the welfare unit; and the chance So don't listen to the pessimists and to join any of ULU's varied societies and alarmists. Step confidently into Graduate life sports clubs. With the return of ULU as a with the security that ULU will always be major gig venue, the ULU ticket shop is by there for you. far the cheapest place in London to buy tick- The very best of luck for exams and the ets. rest of your life. The Graduate Society isn't just a mem- Membership of the ULU Graduate bership scheme for ex-students though, it's Society costs just £10 per year (£12.50 EU, also a social society established to address the £15.00 rest of the world) and is open to all particular needs of its Graduate members. ex-London students. Watch out for the appli- The "GradSoc" newsletter produced twice a cation form with your degree certificate, pick year, contains relevant news, information on one up from reception, ULU, Malet Street, members, a graduate careers section, fea- London or phone the Graduate Society office tures, articles and an international section. on 0171 580 9551 x239 ICU ENTS PRESENTS 10th 3 acts £2/£1 8pm 31st Band Night 8pm free COMMON PEOPLE 9 -2 £ 14th 'Typically Tropical fieac 21st tbc 28th Summer Carnival guest DJs* 4 bands* drapes* BBQ* Very special surprises ! 9-3am Plus Chili-out Room & Cocktail Bar Each Friday night (except 10th May) FRESH HAIR SALON th e best student offer in london! CUT BLOW DRY BY OUR TOP STYLISTS £14 LADIES £12 MEN Normal price £28/ where to find us! 15A HARRINGTON ROAD, SOUTH KENSINGTON, LONDON SW7 3ES / minute walk from South Kensington Tube Station!! Call: 0171 823 8968 GET READY - GET FRESH! Access, Visa, Mastercard, Cash, Cheques THE AFRICAN CARIBBEAN SOCIETY OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE cordially invites you all to our JAL FRIDAY 10TI1 MAY EBONY STEELBAND SPECIAL GUESTS. AND A DONATION PRESENTED TO THE ABENG CENTRE DINNER AT 7.30PM BAND SC DANCE FROM lOPM UNION DINING HALL Beit Quad, Prince Consort Rd, South Kensington, near Albert Hall BLACK TIE Dinner: Members £10, Non-members £12.50 Band & Dance: £5 For tickets & reservation: [email protected] x52724, Francis 0181 795 4238, Destiny 0956 349 541 EDITORIAL FELIX FRIDAY MAY 3RD 1996 . TWENTY-THREE Letters to Felix FELIX FOUNDED 1949 REPLIED TO BY RACHEL WALTERS PRODUCED FOR AND ON BEHALF OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION PUBLICATIONS BOARD Dear Felix, nonpaying students, and sell off PRINTED BY THE IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION PRINT UNIT I was interested to see your all its facilities to the highest bid- BEIT QUAD PRINCE CONSORT ROAD LONDON SW7 2BB article about the bookstore last der? TELEPHONE/FAX 0171 594 8072 term. It looks to me as if College I'd say don't let this happen, EDITOR: RACHEL WALTERS has found another way of stitch- but I don't suppose my opinion PRINTERS: ANDY THOMPSON AND JEREMY ing up the students. as a mere student matters, does BUSINESS MANAGER: JULIETTE DECOCK The Union Bookshop might it? COPYRIGHT FELIX 1996. not be the best in the world, but ISSN 1040-0711 in theory, at least the profits are /. Williams. supposed to get spent on us as PG. 1 IC win 'night-in-bar-after-university- students. This isn't going to hap- pen if a "proper" bookshop takes Suffice to say you are not challenge' final over, and you can guarantee alone in your thoughts on this College aren't going to make up matter! Profits from the book- The four Imperial disaster struck when 'Green any lost income to the Union, so store go directly to pay staff College brainboxes dominat- Shirt's stomach gave way and we students lose loads of money salaries in the union, money that ed the competition from the he was forced to spend the that could have been spent by would have to be found from beginning, with a quick next hour answering ques- clubs or societies. And it must be elsewhere if ICU loses it. starter for ten pints. They tions on digestive linguistics a sizeable amount of money if then succeeded in getting on the toilet floor. the rent is going to be £60k, and I Deadline for letters several bonus pints from fans. The IC team pulled everyone is still interested in it. in Felix 1056: midday, They continued in good form through to a good finish, the So College gets us a great Tuesday 6th May until problems with christian only casualty being Pallen, deal, it gets £60k rent a year, we j Please bring your union card j sundaes slowed them down. who an eye witness said "had get a posh bookshop with no for identification. LSE began to claw back, problems manoeuvering his guarantee of better service, we Letters may be edited for with 'Hideous Shirt' very enormous head". Well done, lose another Union service and length. swift with the right arm. But lads. all the money it generates and The opinions expressed by ^ the services the Union could Ithe editor or guest editors arej EDITORIAL TEAM: provide with the money. : not necessarily those of the I NEWS: ALEX FEAKES FEATURES: MARK BAKER Brilliant. Why doesn't College go paper as a whole. SUB-EDITING AND PROOFING: TIM ST CLAIR the whole way, get rid of the MUSIC: VIK BANSAL CINEMA: WEI LEE PHOTOGRAPHY: IVAN CHAN SPORT: JONATHAN TROUT PUZZLES: CATFISH CLUBS AND SOCS: STEPHEN HAMILTON THEATRE: KATHERINE FISHWICK AND CLAIRE SAMUEL ARTS: JEREMY SCIENCE: BEN WILKINS INVALUABLE EDITORIAL ASSISTANCE: JEREMY UNION STATEMENT COLLATING LAST TERM: MARK, BEN, TIM, DAN RE: BSE SCARE All beef used in ICU Catering is only high noon; butchered in EC approved plants, which are '.'^B.I.7;^:::S::' o-Sifi'i :: ;.:;.:.. .. :. regularly inspected by MAFF/EC appointed in isus-i-i,-:.-., 1 a ««w35::::: inspectors. I' : , : ',.1 ;/':;';:l;;f'::::'i;f:' We have not used British beef since October 1995, and minced beef was replaced WMMh\Mi';X;:: by minced lamb over a year ago. TWENTY-FOUR . FELIX FRIDAY MAY 3RD 1996 SPORT Imperial FELIX SPORT Cyclists Third Come Class Ninth A rollercoaster Hockey season Once again Imperial were the which began in ignominy was only London College to field a rounded off in grand style by a complete team for the national cup run and victory over Royal student championships and Holloway. (with some carbon fibre assis- The thirds began life as a tance) they put in a good perfor- disjointed throng who showed mance. Lacking injury-hit Nick little promise of the glories yet Osborne, the team of Liam to come. After shedding a little Maybank, Duncan Emery and ballast, the post-Christmas peri- Agis Agisilaou competed against od surely counts as one of the national squad and common- most prolific in the teams histo- wealth games riders to achieve a ry. highly creditable 9th in the team Cosmopolitan Although our Wednesday competition. league performances were some- Best individual performance what lacklustre and Saturday was Liam with a rapid 22 min- games yielded only average utes 29 seconds (averaging Team Go Down results, the infamous and elusive 26.7mph) for the distance, team spirit was in full force and Duncan came home with 23 At the end of April, a team of six Whirlpool boats on Monday, threatened to blind teams who minutes 30 seconds (25.5mph) went to France to take part, for their luck ran outon Tuesday didn't wear sunglasses! and Agis, in his first British time the second time, in the Edhec when an early start disqualified But the real jewel in the trial, recorded 24 minutes International Yachting Regatta them. Unfortunately, the English 'Ken Army' crown lay in the 43seconds (24.2mph) The over- held in La Rochelle. boat edged over the starting line BUSA Cup matches. A powered all winner in the individual com- Representing Imperial's cos- before the signal. But the sun up team braved the rigours of petition was Michael mopolitan image the crew was helped them to stay in good spir- RHUL and UCL - where we did Hutchinson (Cambridge) with made up of Irish skipper (Mark), its. ourselves proud to play the game 20 minutes 49 seconds (a rapid three Frenchmen (Charly, In spite of strong hopes for of the season and win 3 - 1. 28.8mph) (obviously he has no Francois and Eric), two Germans the next regattas, they finished Although the steam train work to do). Next up is the (Lutz and Eric again) and a 11 th on the Wednesday night was eventually derailed by the national 25 mile time trial in two Norwegian (Bjorn). event. The six came back superb Brunei UL, the previous weeks. A big thankyou goes out to the Harlington Trust for pay- Tension built up during the fatigued at three o'clock in the results made us the 'prodigal ing for the aerodynamic aid. Sunday training, in spite of the morning, their faces betraying sons' of the club as a whole. excellent wind conditions, bitterness after twelve hours at A fluke light failure in the revealing how difficult it was for sea. Their fate was no better than last game may mean we avoid the team to adjust with so little 8th on Thursday, and they relegation... but does it matter? SportsNews brought up the rear on Friday. training. In a season of missed trains, Manchester United are strong Finally, they shattered all expec- The general outcome of the boat races and lost minibuses the favourites to lift the Premiership title tations by coming second, on the week confirmed that nervous- game becomes perhaps sec- after beating Forest 5-0 last weekend. last regatta, on Saturday. Better ness was justified. Even though, ondary to the laughs we've had Newcastle must now make up six goals in late than never! they finished 5th out of the 12 as a team. KEN ARMY!!! their remaining two matches if they are to be crowned champions. From Division One Sunderland Chess club reach quarter finals (Champions) and Derby are both to play Premiership football next season. Oh yes. This year IC chess club sonably well, knocking out a 6.5/8 or as little as 2/8 to go entered a team in the national strong side from Barbican in through to the next round. Our IC Athletics Clubs Committee is handicap rapidplay knockout round 3, but in the quarter-finals team (usually) consisted of Matt sponsored by competition. Each player plays we were knocked out by Piper, Dom Goodwin, Jeremy the same opponent twice and the Maidstone, who won last year. Davies and Dave Tang. time limit is half an hour for each The handicap system meant that Hopefully we can do better LAYERS player for all moves. We did rea- a team may require as much as next year.