VOLUME 20 ISSUE 8 Dedicated to Peter Cedarstacker August 2014

Saturday, Aug. 9th 9pm Larry Joe Taylor and Deryl Dodd 1pm - Sarah Gayle Meech

Friday, Aug. 15th 8pm Cody Jinks

1pm - Hayden Whittington 4pm - Ben Beckendorf Saturday, Aug. 23rd 9pm Thomas Michael Riley

1pm - Weldon Henson Fri., Aug. 29th Sat., Aug. 30th 8pm 9pm ✯ Inside Bob “THE MOON” Schneider Dale Watson Cedar Creek Clippings ...... Page 3 Everybody’s Somebody ...... Page 4-5 1pm - Hayden Whittington 1pm - Thom Shepherd & 4pm - Ben Beckendorf Coley McCabe Luckenbach Store & More ...... Page 6 Check website or call for ticket info & details You Can’t Forget Memories ...... Page 7 www.luckenbachtexas.com Luckenbach Upcoming Events ...... Page 8 4th of July in LU H CKENBAC

The LUCKENBACH MOON is published monthly by Luckenbach Texas, Inc. Opinions expressed in The LUCKENBACH MOON do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the owners, directors, or staff of Luckenbach Texas, Inc. We would like to acknowledge and thank the following “Somebodies” who made this month’s MOON possible: Peter Cedarstacker aka Hondo Crouch, Becky Crouch Barrales, John Raven, C. P. Vaughn and Robbyn Dodd.

Help us keep Luckenbach legal, Please do not bring alcohol or take it off the grounds when you leave.

2 Note: From 1961-1973, Hondo (nom de plume, or alias, or AKA Peter Cedarstacker) wrote a social satire col- umn for the Comfort News. The fiction- al town of Cedar Creek and all of its characters eventually became the real town of Luckenbach and all of its char- acters (and Luckenbach has some real characters!) The MOON reserves a spe- cial corner for Peter Cedarstacker, Writer, as a corner of wit and human insight for us today. -Becky Crouch Barrales

July 5, 2014 The Spite boy is back from summer camp and Roger Creager & William Clark Green reports a good time was had by all. Since he was a good swimmer he liked swimmin’ best. One day his instructor told him his swimmin’ would be better if he’d speed up his left arm recovery and breathe on the right, returnin’ his head to neutral position before pullin’ with his left, and that when he worried about his body angle he forgot his kick and right arm recovery. "Oh," said the Spite boy to his instructor, and on the next try he nearly drowned. Exactly like the centipede I talked to at the Park Side Road durin’ last year’s "Vermin Festival" spon- sored by our Bug Watchin’ Club. I asked the centipede how on earth he ever learned to walk with so many legs when it takes a human being nearly a year with only two legs. He said he never thought of that. I asked the centipede how on earth he knows which foot to start walkin’ with and he said he never thought of that either, that he started with his left front. No, right front; no, I start in the middle and work forward; no, wait a minute and I’ll see. Well, he started to walk and fell on his face. Folks sure can confuse people, can’t they?

Peter Cedarstacker Writer Congratulations Remember: Fight Snorkels To Ms. Mossie Tanner, First Duchess of the Stonewall Peach royalty (2nd from left).

3 person are surprisingly memorable. He has the EVERYBODY’S ability to make the listener do a knee-slapping SOMEBODY laugh and then a heart wrenching weep in the same song. These things are just his outward appearance. On the inside there's torn underwear, he says, or In Luckenbach Texas USA did I say that? It's hard to keep track of where By these humorous anecdotes originated. Case in Maggie Montgomery point, back when we both worked at Luckenbach, aka Magnolia Thunder Blossom he behind the bar, me over in the Luckenbach The Luckenbach Songbird MOON office, I'd sometimes take a break and Prezident of the Luckenbach Ladies stroll over to the beer joint just to keep from going Lynchin' League bonkers. I'd make a pass through the bar, in one And door, the other out. (That's Tex-German) I'd stop Queen of Everything (except France) and tell Jimmy Lee a joke or funny story I'd just heard and so help me heaven, he would not crack a Jimmy Lee Jones (JLJ) smile or even acknowledge that I was even there. So I'd stroll out the other door and take a little walk Jimmy Lee Jones - Singer, song-writer, guitar- around for a while and then head back through the picker, comedian, story teller, entertainer, former beer joint and danged if he wouldn't be standing Luckenbach Bar Tender and Fire Marshall, friend. there telling a room full of people the joke I had just told him. The first time this happened I Jimmy Lee Jones - What can I say about Jimmy stopped and protested that it was my joke. Lee Jones that he hasn't However, no body heard me. already said about himself. They were too busy laughing Not only does he tell sto- at Jimmy Lee. When I com- ries about himself and all plained to Jimmy Lee he of his many adventures, it replied, "Well, Maggie, some seems that every one who people can tell 'em and some has ever met him has a people can't." After a while I story to tell about him. resigned myself to the fact Tall and handsome that he was right. I would Willie-look-alike, snappy catch myself laughing at his flawless cowboy attire, jokes (my jokes) even tho I cowboy hats that look may have heard them 50 happy to be resting on his times. Locals agree, even head, long shiny pig tail hanging down his back though they've heard those jokes a hundred times clear to his belt, blue twinkly eyes that can look they still laugh. right through you and a voice that can stop traffic. Jimmy Lee's repertory is mind blowing. Just His masterful voice strong and booming is always the other day I heard him do a song by Louie right on key and the emotions he can bring out in a Armstrong and Judy Garland. Beautiful! He fol-

4 lowed those two up with a tune called "The Fart or I guess you could lay down or stand on your Song" and then sang one of his favorites, "My head to play with him. I've seen stranger things Baby's All Liquored Up." Point being, he doesn't happen in Luckenbach. make much distinction as to whether he's singing JLJ and his band opened the show for Willie to a group of little ole blue haired ladies or a bunch Nelson many times. He made the Luckenbach gang of 25 year old yuppies from Houston. All of them very proud. I guess he made Willie pretty proud too end up loving him either way. Once an elderly cou- cause he kept asking him back. ple were helping each other out the door when the These days Jimmy Lee is traveling all over the little ole man (that's lom) was overheard saying, country doing whatever it is that he does, mostly "Well I sure am happy we got to see Willie Nelson playing his guitar and singing and entertaining the in there." The little ole lady (that's lol) said, "Yes, folks. I've recently received notes from him from but he has a lot more of them whiskers than he does all over the southeast, St. Augustine Florida, Parris in that big picture we got of him when he used to Island South Carolina, Nashville Tennessee, play with Bob Wills." Pennsylvania, but you'll We thought maybe we most likely find him at should tell her that he Luckenbach on a week- wasn't really Willie but day serenading the folks. Jimmy Lee thought it best Check out www.lucken- that we not even tell them bachtexas.com and click as it might just burst her on Schedules to find out little bubble, so we stood when. You'll be glad you there and watched 'em did. Jimmy Lee Jones is a drive on off into the sun- Hoot with a capital H and set just-a-singin', "Blue one of the finest friends a Eyes Cryin' in the Rain" person could ever have. at the top of their feeble God bless you Jimmy little ole lungs. They just Lee and stay well. couldn't wait to get home and tell the neighbors they met Willie Nelson at Luckenbach. Jimmy Lee in his younger days was a drill ser- Be sure to check out www.pickuptrucktexas.com geant in the Marines, and later he worked as a for our new podcast entitled PickUpTruck Texas rough-neck in the West Texas oil fields. No won- filmed in beautiful downtown Luckenbach. der he has a booming voice that can stop traffic. He can definitely get your attention and most times he Come see us in Luckenbach real soon. doesn't even need a microphone when he sings. We'll be waitin' for ya! Also, he is left handed and plays his guitar up-side- down so if you are trying to play a song with him you'd better either know the song or play with him often enough to recognize the chords he's playing www.luckenbachtexas.com

5 “BE SOMEBODY” in LUCKENBACH APPAREL & STUFF

GREAT GIFT IDEAS!

T-shirts, Caps, Denim, Stickers, Games, Etc.... Check it out or shop on our website: www.luckenbachtexas.com Order by phone at 888-311-8990 Ext. 232

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Tony Wilson 830-816-2334

FOR RENT – The Best Dancehall in Texas! You can rent the world famous Luckenbach Dance Hall! Great for weddings, receptions, birthdays, anniversaries... social gatherings of any kind! Call us toll-free at 888-311-8990 Ext. 229 [email protected]

6 vors of Ranch dressing. You can’t Then we have the vegetable . Made up of fresh veg- etables such as carrots, radishes, fresh green beans, summer forget squash and any other veggie that may strike your fance. This one also works well with the Many Ranch dressings.

Memories Bound are not tied with strings, they have their parts bound together by thick dressing usually based on may- August 2014 onnaise. First to come to mind is . Tuna salad is Copyright John Raven made up of cooked tuna fish along with some onions and pickle all stuck together with . Put a wad of it PASS THE SALAD PLEASE. about the size of a golf ball on a leaf of lettuce and you are Not too long ago I got into one of the Abbot and Costello in high cotton. You’re not restricted to tuna, chicken, things over the "Super Salad" at the restaurant. It resolved turkey and pasta can also be bound in neat bundles. when the waitress/waitperson finally slowed down enough that I understood she was saying "Soup or Salad". If you got a Ronco Salad Maker for Christmas you may I was sitting here this evening trying to come up with sub- want to venture into "Main Course" or "Dinner Salad: ject for my monthly contribution to the Moon when I thought land. Here we get a complete meal in one bowl. The up scale of the salad theme. restaurants specialize in them as they contain mostly lettuce Salad goes back to the Roman days. The Roman soldiers but sell for meat prices. Some of them are pretty good. would supplement their diet with tender greens growing Included here are: Caesar, Chef and Cobb salads. along the roads to Uganda or wherever they were on their Chilis had a "Caribbean grilled with honey way to conquer. They decided the greens went down better if mustard dressing that everyone copied. It was good. they were tossed with a bit of salty olive oil and vinegar. From "Sal" meaning salt, we get ta-ta! Salad. is mainly fresh fruits bound with Jello, some- The salad is still around. You see them everywhere. Salad times called Congealed Salads. Standard fruits are apples, is a girl . Real men do not eat salad. A man will eat salad oranges and bananas. There is a good supply of tropical fruits when he is out with his wife or girl. He will eat out there that work well. it after she tells him to. "Oh, it’s so good for you". You will never see a salad Salad includes the on a table occupied by a group of but can be made up of guys wearing gimme caps. about anything sweet. M & Ms in Cool Whip sounds good. The gals eat salads because they have been conditioned by their culture Hondo Crouch’s idea of a Luckenbach salad to believe skinny girls are more likely to was two Ritz crackers with a piece of limp lettuce attract a good mate than a tubby girl. In theory the between. He called it a "Turger Burger". Served with a can salad has less calories than regular such as meat and of sardines it became Hondo’s "Seafood Dinner". potatoes. Like the Roman soldiers, the gals put vinegar and oil on their salad. Olive oil of course, it is very healthy. It is The modern world has got so politically correct that have also pure fat. A tablespoon of olive oil has as many calories labeled a couple of my favorite things "deadly". First off I as about a half cup of blue cheese dressing. think the hamburger is the perfect food. Man could live by When I was a kid growing up not liking salad, there was hamburger alone. It has bread, meat and vegetables and if you one kind of salad. It was called just "Salad". It consisted of add cheese it has the dairy . Everything you need in one neat some lettuce, brown on the edges immersed in a watery solu- package. tion of mayonnaise and water with some tomato fragments I guess the "Salad" that got me through the toughest of thrown in, I imagine for color. It was pretty bad stuff. The times was the that came in the blue box under the hogs got most of it. name of "Macaroni and Cheese" . You prepare a box of that Now days you can get all kinds of salads. One for each spe- according to directions and add a couple of cut up chicken cial occasion in your largely unnoticed little life. weenies, you can make the day. The main salad is the low calorie tossed salad. It’s made of If in doubt, ask about the "Super Salad". a mix of greens with pieces of vegetable thrown in for crunch and interest. Dressing can be one of a hundred and fifty fla-

7 Fri 1st Ben Beckendorf-Picker Circle 4pm Wagon Aces - Dance 8pm Follow Us On Sat 2nd Hill Country Food Truck Festival Noon TICKET Food & Wine till 9pm Music till 11:30pm

Sun 3rd Walt Wilkins, Bob Livingston & Friends 1pm twitter.com/LuckenbachTexas Mon 4th David Harris-Picker Circle 5pm Tue 5th Sol Patch-Picker Circle 5pm Wed 6th Stephen Morris-Picker Circle 5pm Thu 7th Jake Martin-Picker Circle 5pm Fri 8th Ben Beckendorf-Picker Circle 4pm facebook.com/pages/Fredericksburg- Tessy Lou & the Shotgun Stars - Dance 8pm TX/Luckenbach-Texas/67651161868 Sat 9th Sarah Gayle Meech 1pm Larry Joe Taylor & Deryl Dodd 9pm TICKET Sun 10th Tom Gillam, Phil Hamilton & Special Surprise Guest 1pm AUGUST CALENDAR Mon 11th David Harris-Picker Circle 5pm Tue 12th Sol Patch-Picker Circle 5pm Wed 13th Stephen Morris-Picker Circle 5pm Thu 14th Jake Martin-Picker Circle 5pm Fri 15th Ben Beckendorf-Picker Circle 4pm Cody Jinks - Dance 8pm TICKET Sat 16th South Austin Moonlighters 1pm Charlie Shafter • Courtney Patton Band 9pm ¢

events 888-311-8990 events 25 Sun 17th Chris Wall, Dave Kemp, Jill Kinsey & Kylie Ray Harris 1pm Mon 18th David Harris-Picker Circle 5pm

TICKET Tue 19th Sol Patch-Picker Circle 5pm TICKETED Wed 20th Stephen Morris-Picker Circle 5pm Thu 21st Jake Martin-Picker Circle 5pm Fri 22nd Ben Beckendorf - Picker Circle 4pm Almost Patsy Cline Band - Dance 8pm

Sat 23rd Weldon Henson 1pm Luckenbach Texas, Inc. Thomas Michael Riley 9pm TICKET 412 Luckenbach Town Loop Sun 24th Jason Eady, Jamie Wilson & Friends 1pm Phone (830) 997-3224 Phax (830) 997-1024 Mon 25th David Harris-Picker Circle 5pm 888-311-8990 Fredericksburg, Texas 78624 Tue 26th Sol Patch-Picker Circle 5pm www.luckenbachtexas.com Wed 27th Stephen Morris-Picker Circle 5pm

Thu 28th Jake Martin-Picker Circle 5pm 87 Johnson 290 Fredericksburg City Austin To 290 Fri 29th Ben Beckendorf-Picker Circle 4pm 290 Dale Watson 8pm TICKET 16 ✪ LUCKENBACH 1888 1623 87 Blanco Labor Day Weekend Celebration Kerrville Sat 30th Thom Shepherd & Coley McCabe 1pm 1376 Bob Schneider 9pm TICKET 10 Sisterdale 281 Sun 31st Megan Tubb Band 1pm Comfort

Tuesday - Thursday - David Harris-Picker Circle 1pm 46 Fridays - Hayden Whittington-Picker Circle 1pm Boerne Most Sundays - Bill Lewis-Picker Circle 5pm To San Antonio To San Antonio This schedule may change...Call or check online for info on This schedule may

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