"All the Gnus Weather: Seasonably That Fit, We Print" Wff c New lnrli Wimes changeable

VOL. V .. . No. 1 - WINTER 1986 - INTERZOOECIAL EDITION

Now Introducing . • . BALLYHOO! You always wanted to join the than applauding your efforts to circus, didn't you? Heck, we all find the child, the circus folk see did. The only question was you as an outsider messing about whether to put on clown in their very private business. makeup, walk the highwire, or You find yourself getting a quick brave the wild beasts. Now you lesson in the daring stunts you get to do all these things, in In­ admired from afar, as you seek focom' s new puzzle-packed clues and dodge danger. mystery, Ballyhoo'." To get you ready for the big Ballyhoo sets you down out­ time, the Ballyhoo package in­ side the big top at the end of the cludes a colorful circus program, show. As the last circus-goers a balloon, a trade card for Dr. filter out the gate, you decide to Nostrum's Herbified Extract, and stick around. Maybe you'll get to your ticket to Spangleland. The see an impromptu clown act, or program introduces you to the watch the late-night feedings of unique characters you'll meet in the exotic animals, or peek at the the story and gives you a glimpse gadgets and glitter inside the prop of life in the back lot. tent. Maybe you'll even get to In Ballyhoo, you'll need to meet that gorgeous trapese artist solve puzzles in order to solve the or those high-wire hunks! crime. As a standard-level game, But no such luck. Instead it's a great introduction to our Included in this and every Ballyhoo package are your Ballyhoo disk, your you're plunged into a mysterious mystery line. And when you ticket to the circus, a program to The Travelling Circus That Time Forgot. underworld where everyone has a leave the circus, keep honing Inc., a trade card for Dr. Nostrum's Herbified Extract, and a bright red secret to keep - and no one your investigative skills with our balloon. wants to clue you in. Exploring other popular whodunits - the seedy comers of the lot, you Deadline®, The Witness®, and overhear a conversation about the Suspect'." An Heirloom to Cherish owner's young daughter. She's Ballyhoo was written by Jeff been kidnapped, and the hired O'Neill, who fulfilled the prom­ Yours From Infocom! gumshoe finds his bottle more ise of the American dream by ris­ Imagine the thrill of owning an sion are available for your IBM, engaging than the case. ing from gan1e tester to game authentic numbered, autograph­ Apple, or Commodore. And only It looks like you've got two designer at Infocom. Ballyhoo ed copy of Infocom's latest inter­ 75 per version are available for choices: forget about the tot, or joins a distinctive list of great active mystery, Ballyhoo! Im­ your Atari, Atari ST, Amiga, or set off on a search of your own. " first works" of interactive fi c­ agine the envy of your friends and Macintosh. Naturally, you go for the role of tion, including Zork® I (by Marc neighbors when you proudly We're sure you'd pay plenty for hero. Blank and Dave Lebling ), display this rare edition! And im­ an heirloom item of this caliber. As the night progresses, you Suspended® (by Michael agine the tears of gratitude when But even more unbelievably, this realize that the life of a hero, like Berly.n), Planetfall~ (by Steve you pass this valuable heirloom special edition is available at the the back yard of the big top, is Meretzky), The Witness (by Stu on to your children fifty years regular price of only $39.95! To about as glamorous as a tarnished Galley), and Wishbringet" (by hencc 1 order, simply call our toll-free piece of costume jewelry. Rather Brian Moriarty). B Unbelievable as it seems, this number (800-262-6868). But wonderful opportunity can be hurry! This is a first-come-first­ yours! A limited edition of served offer! Ballyhoo signed and numbered by Don't miss the chance to own Fooblitzky Keeps Puzzle-Solvers Busy author Jeff O'Neill is now a copy of the very first Infocom available exclusively through The limited edition! Amaze your Most of you interactive fiction To help you out, city officials New Zork Times. These are the friends! Satisfy your desire for the fans love the puzzles in Infocom's tell you the cost (in foobles) of the very first copies to roll off the pro­ best! Order today! B games. But many of you may not 4 right items. And every time you duction lines! Only 150 per ver- realize that puzzle-solving is also bring items to City Hall, you'll be ..______an important part of Infocom's told how many of the items you first graphics strategy game, have are right. However, you Suppose you're told that one of carrying 2 right items. Foobli.tzkylM_ Here is a Fooblitzky­ won't be told which items are the right items costs 4 foobles, one 3. Player 3 goes to City Hall like logic puzzle; see if you can right. Given the following infor­ costs 8 foobles, and two cost 16 with sardines, a hot dog, a pig, figure it out. mation, can you tell which are the foobles. Assume that the two and a saw, and learns that he is Imagine a town where stores 4 rights items? 16-fooble items are different. carrying 1 right item. ' sell orily 12 items, and where the Items costing 4 foobles: banana, 1. Player 1 goes to City Hall 4. Player 4 goes to City Hall currency is "foobles. 11 Now sup­ fish, hair spray, and screwdriver with a banana, a snake, an with hair spray, toothpaste, and a pose a contest is held in the town, Items costing 8 foobles: light eyedropper, and a pig, and learns saw, and learns that she's carry­ and 4 of the items are secretly bulb, sardines, snake, and that she's carrying 2 right items. ing 1 right item. designated "right items." Your toothpaste 2. Player 2 goes to City Hall With this information, you goal is to figure out what the 4 Items costing 16 foobles: with a banana, a light bulb, and a should be able to deduce what the right items are. eyedropper, hot dog, pig, and saw snake, and learns that he too is (continued on page 5) PAGE2 THE NEW ZORK TIMES WINTER. 1986 Hornor Liberation Front Disrupts Meeting Dozens of Humor Liberation quickly adjoumed to the com­ house X-rated version of Fooblit­ me a glass of punch. 11 Front members and their sup­ pany punch bowl. The accom­ zky that was handed to them just The conclusion of experts who porters disrupted the November panying photograph was taken before the meeting. The only have studied this scintillatingly employee meeting of Infocom just as the real Mr. Vezza was other person who might have madcap escapade is that it is only Inc. which took place at the com­ asked to stand. been alerted to what was about to the first round in a new offensive pany's sprawling CambridgePark When questioned about securi­ happen was Lorri Fischer, who offensive. As they said, the in­ facility. ty, an unnamed source said that was manning the reception desk ability of Infocom security forces The operation is believed to the only two guards on duty at during the meeting. When ques­ to capture even one of the have been masterminded and car­ the time, Infocom General tioned, Ms. Fischer said, "I didn't punsters was sure to inspire an ried out by the radically twisted Manager John O'Leary and Prod­ really see anything strange but I increased bravado and willing­ faction of the Humor Liberation uct Manager Tom Smaldone, did think it was odd when Al ask­ ness to commit further acts of Front known as the Dimwit Flat­ were distracted by a special in- ed me 43 times if he could bring chicanery. B head Brigade. There is also evidence that suggests a shadowy group from the Genetics In­ stitute, an Infocom neighbor and producer of genetically .engi­ neered facial cleaners, acted in a support role. The disruption took place near the beginning of the meeting and involved the use of what Infocom security expert Mike Quinn has called Cloned Entry Operatives, or CEO's. Quinn explained that CEO's were an advanced type of identity transformation device. In this latest act of mirth, the HLF infiltrated over five dozen of these CEO's into the meeting by disguising them as exact duplicates of Infocom Chief Ex­ ecutive Officer Al Vezza. Once inside the CEO, CEO's instigated an atmosphere of such intense hilarity that the meeting was

The HLF: Ruthless and Unpredictable pany and later weds for real. a basis in truth, thereby caus­ The HLF seizes on this as ing mass confusion and proof of the "righteousness of The recent invasion of an In­ Lim is found guilty and · paranoia. focom Inc. company meeting by our cause." sentenced to life in the • July 1984 - The HLF's next elements of the Humor Libera­ Graphics Group. However, • March 1984 - The HLF stages target is education. By staging tion Front reminds us once again most feel that Mr. Lim is just a "fun" snowball fight. It is a goofy graduation ceremony that we must be ever vigilant in a scapegoat in some shadowy actually a cover for a wave of for Infocom CEO Al Vezza, the the fight for good clean fun. The conspiracy. The HLF is born reprisals against the HLF sends out the message to picture of this humor-crime, with and three goldfish die in the ''unfunny.'' one and all that outside educa­ so many innocent people left in name of fun. tion is a joke and that the HLF stitches, is a grim reminder of the • April 1984 - In an effort to will be the sole arbiters of all • December 1983 - In a move control the rising power of the past excesses of this group. learning. The Humor Liberation Front to take over and control the HLF, Infocom forms FunCom. was formed out of a ragtag bunch hearts and minds of Infocom This conservative group starts • August 1985 - After months of disgruntled thrill seekers who employees, the HLF publishes by taking over the running of of inactivity the HLF retums were working for the playful yet the wildly funny but scan­ the weekly Friday parties. The in force with a riotous public rational software development dalous newspaper Infodope. HLF strikes back by forcing rehabilitation of Micro Group company, Infocom. In their quest Fun-Think is born. The com­ the parties to take on funny supervisor, Dan Hom. Iri the for "fun" was planted the seed of pany laughs as lives are trash­ but strange themes. One party form of the game show ''To anarchy that has once again ed and reputations are dragged l features babies floating in the Tell The Truth," Horn's shown its ugly face in recent through the mud. punch bowl to commemorate idiosynchrasies and in­ a recent birth. Another party, dividualism are torn apart by a events. This latest attack is no • February 1984 - The HLF in honor of Secretaries Week, panel of disguised HLF isolated event. We have only to now moves to control all degenerates into a wild melee operatives. look back a short time to see the social life at Infocom. In a of acrobatics after HLF spikes pattern: powerful show of farce, the These are the facts. The HLF the water cooler. • November 1983 - A chill group stages a "model" wed­ has been responsible for a contin­ Autumn day is shattered when ding. Steve Meretzky and Bet­ • May 1984 - The HLF again uing "fun war," the aim of which a series of vile, trumped-up ty Rock, dressed in zany strikes at the Infocom com­ is no less than all-out domination murder charges are leveled at pseudo-religious costumes, are munication network by in­ of humor. The recent attack on Info-tester Dave Anderson. forced into a sham marriage. stituting the Memo War. In the Infocom meeting is proof The infamous Fish Trial en­ Never able to cope with the this ongoing campaign, the positive that the Humor Libera­ sues. When the smoke clears humiliation, the couple finds HLF sent out dozens of funny tion Front is alive and well and Anderson is innocent, and Poh solace in each other's corn- memos that nevertheless have capable of striking at will. B WINTER 1986 THE NEW ZORK TIMES PAGE3 Check It Out Mail Bag

Where do you go to learn which demanding game - one in which Dear Sir: Precipice nearly every conceivable avenue products give you the best value I am presently a scientist at of action has been foreseen, and As you clamber onto the precipice, for your money? Consumer Amundsen-Scott South Pole Sta­ every consequence described in you note a rather large yak regarding Reports, right? Well, in the tion, Antarctica, having left the colorful, descriptive prose." And you with studied indifference. November issue, Infocom stories United States a month ago. One for all you Douglas Adams fans, received high marks in a survey of the last things I did before I left >SAY HELLO of computer games. Ratings were Changing Times noted that was to purchase your Zork I "Adams's unique brand of hilari­ Yaks can't talk, but this one based on the results of a question­ adventure since I knew there was naire asking Consumer Reports ty is obvious in every response acknowledges your presence VJith a an IBM-PC dowri here. So far, I sagacious nod. readers to list the games they and every twist of the ever­ haven't been able to get across twisting plot in this original played and then evaluate each the river (mainly because I have > YAK, WHERE IS THE MONK? adventure game.'' product's intellectual challenge, been too busy). I have shown it to We've been getting in a lot of The yak smiles enigmatically. ease of learning, sustained in­ several co-workers who are also terest, and overall satisfaction. good comments on A Mind hooked on it! >YAK, YAK Only games mentioned by at Forever Voyaging'" from the The last plane leaves for the The yak stares back. least 50 respondents were includ­ members of our Infocom Elite winter on February 10, and the Adventurers Society (in case ed in the ratings. next one will be November 1, >GIVE GOAT CHEESE TO YAK you've forgotten, that's all of Of the 31 games listed, 11 were after the Antarctic 9-month you). Reviewers like AMFv, too. You can't be serious! "logic-and-fantasy," including winter. Your game will help us Ms. Magazine called it "one of Enchanter'? The Hitchhiker's through the long hours of > KILL SELF WITH GOAT CHEESE the season's most intriguing new Guide to the Galaxy';'Zork I, Zork darkness and cold (the sun will be II, and ill. and games." And an editor at You can't go that way. Zork Enchanter gone for 6 months, and it will Billboard wrote to say, "A Mind Hitchhiker's obtained particular­ drop to - 110 degrees F)! We as a > JUMP OFF PRECIPICE ly good ratings in all four Forever Voyaging is the best game group have nominated Zork I as Infocom has produced yet. All I As you leave for your final reward, categories. Consumer Reports the unofficial computer game of know is that I started it when it you feel the yak's teeth grab the seat noted that fantasy games in the South Pole, and we'd like to was dark and broke off when I of your pants. Back on solid ground, general were considered ''far let you know we appreciate the noticed it was daylight." you watch as the yak's form shifts more satisfying" than action quality and entertainment of this And to start the new year on the and blurs, to become - the monk. games. game! The Hitchhiker's Guide to the right foot (the one that wears the >SAY HELLO Galaxy continues to provide unutterably-schmaltzy-pride-in­ Sincerely, satisfaction in lots of places. A re­ our-product shoe), we offer the Clifford C. Wilson Monks don't talk, but this one cent review in Gentlemen's following quote from a Wish­ FPO San Francisco, CA acknowledges your presence with a sagacious nod . Quarterly called it a game ''you bringer review in A + Magazine: Dear Infocom: read instead of bleep." Added ''Have you figured out what you'd Mark Cantrell GQ, ''Unlike conventional wish for if you had the chance? I I read the "Yak Facts" in your Canal Point, Florida novels, Infocom's variety lets the don't even need a moment to con­ Spring '85 newsletter with in­ reader pave his own path through sider. I want more Infocom games. terest, specifically, "A herd of To the editor: the prose, creating a unique tale When Infocom releases a new yaks can migrate over seven every time." game, the question that goes thousand miles in a single day.'' Wilf11Id the Hard-Shelled Turtle Hitchhiker's was also featured through your minds should not be Realizing that this was in excess in Home Computer Magazine, 'Should I get the game?' but, of 290 mph, I immediately sold Wilfurd the hard-shelled turtle which ''found it to be all the rather, 'When should I get the my car and visited my yak dealer (turtle) challenge a presumably sound­ game?'. And the answer should (located in Lima, Peru). The Had a rainbow-colored shell minded adult would desire. It is always be 'Immediately."' El salesperson did make an odd (shell) . an articulate, detailed, and comment about top yak speeds If you had ever EXEX-ed it being obtainable only "in high (EXEX-ed it) , altitude areas," and "terminal You would even say it shimmers velocity may vary." And that the (like Jello). 7,000-rnile range required an ex­ All of the other turtles (turtles) tra available through United Air­ Use to laugh and call him ID4t New lnrlt Wimes lines. No doubt these are just names (like Skittles). meaningless disclaimers required Poor Willurd the hard-shelled by the Peruvian EPA. turtle (turtle) · I hope you continue to keep Couldn't join in any turtle Writers Gary Brennan, Paul Gross, Elizabeth your "Yak Facts" clean. The games [like Zork) . Langosy, Dave Lebling, Steve Meretzky, yearly yak issues of Sports fl­ Then one foggy enchanted eve, Jeff O'Neill, Jonathan Palace, Betty lustrated are disgraceful. Belboz came to say (NITFOL), Rock, Tom Veldran ''Wilfurd with your shell so Somewhat sincerely, hard, Production Cynthia Curtis, Jonathan Palace, John S. Kalstram Won't you get that scroll for Betty Rock, Michelle Simpson, Gayle P.S. What's the mpg on an emu? me?" Syska Then all the turtles loved him © 1986 Infocom, Inc., 125 CambridgcPark Drive, Cambridge, MA 02140 To the editor: (loved him) . Then they shouted out with glee The following is an excerpt from [I mean turtle wax), Zork. Enchanter, Deadline, The Witness. Starcross. Suspended, Planetfall, Infidel, and Seastalker a particularly annoying segment ''Wilfurd the hard-shelled turtle! are registered trademarks of Infocom, Inc. Ballyhoo, Wishbringer, Sorcerer, Spellbreaker, Suspect, A of Yakstalker, a new interactive You'll go down in Sor-cer-y (like Mind Forever Voyaging, Cutthroats, Fooblitzky, Comcrstone1 Tales of Advcnturc1 Interactive Fic­ tion Plus, and lnvi.siClues are trademarks of Infocom, Inc. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a adventure by the National Enchanter)! trademark of Douglas Adams. Association for the Advancement of Yaks (N.A.A.Y.). Jun A. Akiyama PAGE4 THE NEW ZORK TIMES WINTER 1986

Robert Prokop Cartoon .Editor Inundated Since we first announced our car­ his or her choice. If you'd like to toon contest a year ago (NZT, try, send us your cartoon in black Winter '85) we have received an ink on white, unlined paper. No· increasing barrage of entries - pencil or colors, and don't fold over 400 through early your cartoon! All submissions December. become property of Infocom, Inc. Therefore, we've decided to Send your entries to NZT Car­ print this huge spread of cartoons. toons, Infocom, Inc., 125 Cam: We'll continue to print more than bridgePark Drive, Cambridge, one per issue as long as we con­ MA 02140. Include a separate tinue to receive such a high sheet of paper with your name GOOt>.ASk~:!i~llllm~' volume of good cartoons. and address, as well as the title of GOf'.81fCNFV IF HE Every cartoonist whose work is the game you'd like to win, and printed in The New Zork Times the computer system it should receives a free Infocom game of run on. E3

Oscar Chavarria

DANGER 0 0 Enttr .1t own nsk ... 0

0

0 [I. 0

0 H. Goodman 10 ••r .. , ... @~ 6RUE TAlES OF ~DVENTUREt> 0 I. 0 0 ~~NETFl!LL:

George Tsai WINTER 1986 THE NEW ZORK TIMES PAGE S

Dave Kaplan Jeff Martin

YO'-.t HA'-'£ ~ :i;o.JTO ;. BIUGHr IVC'-· ~ ~~'('"08: €.i'"T£N 8'( A lilJoAAt..l . ~/

" Yeah , Sorge, we got 'im. Breaking and entering, possession of stolen goods, tampering witll tlle mails, concealing weapons, a sword witll blood all over it, and you should see tlle basement!"

John Morrow Mark Cantrell __.~~~"HEYi HI HADE THE MEW ZORI(. TIM&~ BE.sT' I Clt.LAA 1.IST •

Fooblitzky (continued from page 1; against your friends or family disk, short rules (to get you rather than against the computer. started), long rules (to answer any 4 rights items are. (In a real game to steal their items; buy or sell As in interactive fiction, there are questions that might come up), 4 of Fooblitzky, you couldn't items at the pawn shows at dis­ dozens or hundreds of alter­ colorful wipe-clean worksheets, assume that the two 16-fooble count prices; ride the UGH (the natives at every turn. And there and marker pens. Included in the items are different. Try deducing underground gliding highway) to are so many possibilities in instructions are suggestions for the 4 right items again, this time move around the city quickly; Fooblitzky, no two games are game variations. Fooblitzky costs allowing the two 16-fooble items hide items from other players in alike. We've even put several $39.95 and is available for the to be the same or different. Is lockers; and so on. And the variations into the program, so IBM PC with 128K and a graphics there more than one possibility? Chance Man can show up any you can make the game easier, card (but not the PCjr), for the Answers on page 6.) time, sometimes to help you, and harder, or stranger. Atari XL and XE with 48K plus an Figuring out the right items is sometimes to hinder you. Fooblitzky is available only 810 or 1050 disk drive, and for just part of the fun in Fooblitzky. Fooblitzky is a lot like your through The New Zork Times. the Apple II series with 128K. B You can bump into other players favorite board game: you play Each package contains a game PAGE6 THE NEW ZORK TIMES WINTER 1986

The correct answer, the one 5. Sue Whitman Answers to Puzzle Number Seven out of numerical order, is II. We Lexington, NC received a mere 48 entries, either 6. Robert Wagner There was a problem with Puzzle A. 3.5 because the puzzle was difficult, Cleveland, OH Seven, but it wasn't really our B. 4 or because many people were 7. Daniel Louie fault. To be specific: c. 5 discouraged by the "early" Burke, VA You may have fond memories D . 5 deadline. Of those, 26 were cor­ 8. Betty Scourby of the company that used to print E. 5 rect (54%). Brooklyn, NY and mail The New Zork Times, F. 7 9. R. Reid Hutchinson as well as fill mail orders for G. 7 The most common wrong Rockville, MD games and InvisiClues'." Fond H . 8 answer was K. This seems to be 10. Mike Smith San Pedro, CA memories like ordering a copy of I. 12 due to people calculating the 12 number of days it took your ex­ 11 . Greg Haas Deadline for your Kaypro and J. Weymouth, MA receiving a copy of Infidel® for a K. 12 pedition to reach the campsite, not the number of days it took 12. Gary Laskowski TRS-80 Model I seven months L. 21 Roseville, MI later. We emphasize "used to," M . 25 Ellingsworth's 1920 expedition to reach the campsite. (See the note 13 . Charles M. Carter, Jr. because last year we switched to N . 29 Richmond, VA on the parchment map.) a much more reliable company. 0 . 47 14. Tony Ard To keep a long story long, this P. 51 We also have a new statistic for Tillamook, OR original company was a bit peev­ Q. 55 Puzzle Seven: percentage of peo­ 15. Carole Weyandt ed when we decided to take our R. 64 ple complaining. Thirty-three Claysburg, PA business elsewhere; they pro­ s. 73 percent of all entries contained 16. Mary Foss ceeded to go down in a blaze of T. 75 notes or letters complaining Flora, IL about the deadline. glory by refusing to turn over the u. 75 17. Paul Mattia computer tapes containing our v. 90.8 Since there were 26 correct Sterling, VA New Zork Times mailing list, of w. 134 answers, only one entrant got the 18. Kurt Culler which they had the only copies. x. 155 correct answer but no T-shirt: Redford, MI Were it not for some high­ Y. 192 Maggie Dupuis, who will prob­ 19. Ted Durant South Sioux City, NE powered maneuvering by our z. 200 ably spend weeks avoiding lad­ AA. 300 ders, black cats, and broken (or 20. Ben Bunnell lawyers, the Summer '85 issue of Rustburg, VA The New Zork Times might have BB . 312 breaking) mirrors. Here are the 350 other twenty-five: 21. Paul Thoms never come out; as it was, most cc. Whittier, CA people received their copies be­ DD. 351 1. E. Gene Simpson Mountain View, CA 22. David Rowell tween late October and mid­ EE. 467 Marietta, NY November (depending on the FF. 1000 2. Ed Schraut Sumter, SC 23. Andy Plotkin vagaries of bulk rate mail) . GG. 1308 Rockville, MD Among the problems caused by HH. 1327 3. Matthew Strange Mansfield, PA 24. Neil R. Polo this delay was that most people II. 753 Yardley, PA JJ. 1698 4. Mary Sauer 25. Michael Rudolph received their issue after the Circleville, OH deadline for Puzzle Seven! KK. 1868 Los Angeles, CA Naturally, we decided to extend LL. 1887 the deadline, to December 1. We MM. 1920 like to think of it this way: realiz­ NN. 1937 NZT Puzzle Winners Update ing that you could still enter after 00. 2138 November 1 was just the first PP. 4216 Ever since stone-hearted, of InfoSentimentalists have obstacle of the puzzle! QQ. 4986 Scrooge-like Steve Meretzky an­ beseiged Steve. ''Well, what if Here are all of the correct RR. 23,393 nounced that there was only one there were twenty-seven correct answers: SS . 23,521 correct puzzle entry that entries? What then?" snarled the wouldn't win an elegant, sought­ fearsomely bearded implementor. after NZT Puzzle Winner T-shirt, But yes, Maggie, there is a a groundswell of opposition to his T-shirt! Over Steve's dead body callousness has been building. (almost) a beautiful NZT T-shirt Poor Maggie Dupuis, shivering will soon wend its way west to Answers to Fooblitzky Puzzle T-shirtless in Wisconsin, victim your humble abode. B of cruel chance! Vast contingents Assuming that the two 16-fooble is a right item, no other 4-fooble items are different, the 4 right item can be right. And because items must be a banana, a light we know that either the light Spellbreaker Event bulb, an eyedropper, and a saw. If bulb or the snake is right, we In an event inspired by equal of the game. After the event, the the two 16-fooble items can be know that the other 8-fooble parts of magic, Hollywood, and party adjourned outside to gaze at the same, another possibility ex­ items can't be right. Thus, from Flash Gordon, Infocom announc­ the stars (those few visible ists: namely, the 4 right items Player 4's visit to City Hall, we ed its newest fantasy title, Spell­ through what passes for an at­ could be a banana, a snake, a saw, know that the saw must be a breaker':' The event was held mosphere in the LA area) . In­

and another saw. right item (since the 4-fooble hair October 11 in the art-deco, focom's contingent made a futile There are many ways to figure spray and the 8-fooble toothpaste 1930's-style Griffith Park Obser­ effort to raise the general level of this out. For those of you who are can't be right) . Get the idea? vatory in- the hills overlooking elegance and formality at the completely stumped, look again Don't worry if you didn't figure Los Angeles. Guests were shown event: columnist Jerry Pournelle at Player 2's visit to City Hall. out this Fooblitzky puzzle. a spectacular laser show, fed on remarked, "It's a sad day when a He's carrying 3 items, and 2 of Players can visit City Hall as champagne and strawberries, and game company requires its people them are right. Since the light often as they want. In a real treated (if that's the right word) to to wear ties.'' There was a general bulb and the snake can't both be game, information usually comes remarks by InfoEventperson rush for the few dozen incredibly right items (since they both cost in bits and pieces, rather than all Renata Daroszewska, by In­ elegant Enchanters Guild pins, 8 foobles), the banana must be a at once, as in this example. B foMarketing's Mike Dornbrook however. B right item. And since the banana and by Dave Lebling, the author WINTER 1986 THE NEW ZORK TIMES PAGE7

NEW ZORK TIMES PUZZLE NUMBER9

Archivists everywhere, rejoice! The New Zork Times Puzzle Rules Number Two: Number Five: Committee (NZTPRC), in session at their annual winter meeting, ap­ proved a significant change to the venerable puzzle rules: Entrants will Airport General's Office This is the office of General Jack no longer be required to cut up their copies of the NZT in order to enter Dim halos of light barely pierce the puzzle. A photocopy of the entry form will now be accepted! (Well, the fog that drifts across the air­ D. Ripper. The General's desk sits in front of wide, venetian blind­ there really isn't a Rules Committee. Mike Dornbrook just decided field. A propeller revs to life near­ covered windows. Doors lead that his reasons for not allowing photocopies were all silly.) by. south, to the hall, and west, to the For a change of pace, here's a puzzle that requires no knowledge of llsa Lund is here, her eyes moist. General's private bathroom. specific works of Infocom's interactive fiction. The following seven Louis Renault, the Prefect of excerpts are each from hypothetical works of interactive fiction, based >SOUTH Police, stands nearby. on films and TV shows of various types. Your task is to determine the "I' m afraid I can't allow you to name of the character you play in each excerpt. Both first and last >I leave until the bombers have name are required in cases where they exist. The name of the actor You are carrying: finished their mission," says the who portrayed the character is not acceptable. To help you get started, a gun General, chomping on his cigar we have filled in the first answer. letters of transit stub. > ILSA, GET ON THE PLANE > GENERAL, TELL ME ABOUT THE Number One: "You'll have to do the thinking for MISSION > SHAKE THE TRINKET " I can no longer sit idly by and Bedroom, in the canopied bed both of us." (taking the trinket first) allow the Communists to You are in a vast bedroom, filled The little white flakes flurry fluoridate our water and sap our with antique statues, heated by an around inside the ball, resembling Number Three: precious bodily fluids." enormous fireplace. a snowfall. Canyon A trinket is sitting on your night >SAY "ROSEBUD" Number Six: table. You are in a dry arroyo between With the word still hanging on towering, wind-carved cliffs of Porch > LOOK AT THE TRINKET your lips, an enormous weariness brown and yellow rock. This is the weathered front porch The trinket is a little glass ball, fill­ overwhelms you. The ball drops of the house. A closed screen There is a shipping carton here. ed with water, depicting a winter from your hand and smashes on door leads westward into the scene. Some white particles are the ground. The shipping carton contains: house. You can leave the porch to settled at the bottom of the ball. **** You have died. **** a strange, belt-like machine the east.

> READ THE SHIPPING CARTON Mr. Martin is standing in the ANSWERS "Acme Rocket Belt" doorway. 1) Charles Foster Kane > PUT ON THE ROCKET BELT There is a particularly yummy 2) You are now wearing the rocket bone here. belt. >BARK 3) > FIRE THE ROCKET BELT "What! Timmy's fallen down and 4) You shoot upwards and smash in­ broken his leg! Where?" to an overhanging cliff. The im­ >BARK pact sends you shooting 5) "In the old Johnson barn! Let's downward, imbedding your body go!" 6) halfway into the hard ground. The overhand, which has broken 7) loose, lands on top of you. Name: Number Four: Number Seven: Living Area Address: Near the El This is the central room of the You are standing at a downtown house, filled with couches, exotic intersection, next to the elevated plants, and a table laden with subway. Streets lead off in all four T-shirt size (S, M, L, XL) : fruit. directions. Dr. Morbius and several crew RULES: A subway car is passing by. members are here, engaged in 1. All entries must be submitted on this form OR A PHOTOCOPY OF conversation. > DESTROY THE SUBWAY CAR You push the car off the tracks. It THIS FORM. Morbius hands you an object, crashes to the ground below, spill­ which you immediately analyze to 2. All entries must be received by March 1, 1986. ing screaming passengers out into be a simple blaster. Morbius asks, 3. Limit of one entry per person. the street, and crushing dozens of "Have you analyzed it?" 4. Up to 25 prizes will be awarded. If more than 25 correct answers are pedestrians. received, a drawing will be held to determine the winners. Void > MORBIUS, YES [Your score has just gone up by 10 where prohibited by law, of course. "What is it?" points!] PRIZE: A New Zork Times Puzzle Winner T-shirt > REPLY "A SIMPLE BLASTER" >INVENTORY Morbius nods. "Point the blaster at SEND TO: Infocom, Inc. You are carrying: the Captain." NZT Puzzle Ann Darrow 125 CambridgePark Drive Cambridge, MA 02140 ------1 PAGEB THE NEW ZORK TIMES WINTER 1986 Save $300 and get 2 free Infocom stories When you buy CORNERSTONE™ for your IBM PC Anyone who needs to organize information-from managers of large corporations to small business owners and self-employed professionals-can benefit from a good database. But many of us have neither the time nor the incli­ nation to learn the programming skills needed to operate a full-featured system. CORNERSTONE was designed to put all the power of a sophisticated relational database into the hands of non-programmers. Rave reviews from users and the press indicate that CORNERSTONE is well worth its usual price of $495. Now we're giving you, our loyal NZT readers, the opportunity to buy CORNERSTONE for only $195. Plus you get 2 free Infocom stories. This is a limited time offer, so order today! Call 1-800-262-6868 or use the attached form.

Please------print clearly. Mail your completed form to D Enclosed is $195. (N. J. residents add 6% sales tax.) INFOCOM, P.O. Box478, Cresskill, NJ 07626. In addition to IBM Cornerstone, please send me the I following two games: Name D Planetfall" D Starcross"' I D Suspended'" D Sorcerer" Address D Seastalker" D The Witness'" I D Deadline"' D Cutthroats" City State Zip D Suspect'" I D Infidel'"' I Country (if not U.S.) Please indicate the payment method you choose. Make I check payable to INFOCOM, Inc. (Please do not send cash.) I D Check 0 Money Order D MasterCard D Visa D American Express I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I Card # Exp. date I Signature Date

In Center Ring: U.S . Postage lnPDCDlft PAID BALLYHOO P.O. Box 478 Bulk Rate (story on page 1) Permit No. 17 Cresskill, NJ 07626 Avon. MA 02322 A Brand-New New Zork Times Puzzle (see page 7)

PLUS: Cartoons, Letters, and More!