Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology Rose-Hulman Scholar

The Rose Thorn Archive Student Newspaper

Fall 9-19-2008

Volume 44 - Issue 02 - Friday, September 19, 2008

Rose Thorn Staff Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, [email protected]

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Recommended Citation Rose Thorn Staff, "Volume 44 - Issue 02 - Friday, September 19, 2008" (2008). The Rose Thorn Archive. 131. https://scholar.rose-hulman.edu/rosethorn/131

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This Book is brought to you for free and open access by the Student Newspaper at Rose-Hulman Scholar. It has been accepted for inclusion in The Rose Thorn Archive by an authorized administrator of Rose-Hulman Scholar. For more information, please contact [email protected]. T HE R OSE T HORN R OSE -H ULMAN I NSTITUTE OF T ECHNOLOGY T ERRE H AUTE , I NDIANA FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 19, 2008 ROSE-HULMAN.EDU/THORN/ VOLUME 44, ISSUE 2 VX is gone for good News Briefs Noel Spurgeon p r o c e s s e s By Andrew Klusman Guest Writer like these are chal- n August 8, 2008, lenging be- Original Mozart music the US Army con- cause of the Ofirmed that the last need to pro- found in France ton container of nerve agent vide maxi- An original piece of music written by VX had been destroyed at mum pro- Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, the famous the Newport Chemical De- tection for Classical composer, was found in a library pot in Newport, Ind. This the workers, at Nantes, France. Ulrich Leisinger, the event marked the comple- the com- head of research at the International Mo- tion of a process which be- munity, and zarteum Foundation in Salzburg, Austria, gan in May 2005, with the the environ- which is Mozart’s birthplace, states that beginning of agent disposal ment. Also, there is no doubt the piece was handwrit- operations. This process was the selected ten by Mozart himself. The sheet itself is a also a larger part of the effort technology melody sketch, according to Leisinger, and to completely de-militarize for dispos- it is missing only the harmony and instru- the Newport facility, which ing of the mentation, but the tune is complete. The included the destruction VX, neutral- piece of music was discovered while the of the chemical production ization, had library was going through its archives. The plant located on the prem- not been sheet was given to the library by an auto- ises, which had not been in previously graph collector in the 19th Century, and use since the 1960’s. used. This File photo curteosy Global Security then placed in the library’s collection. It For the past forty years, r e q u i r e d Newport Chemical Depot circa 1997, location of recent demilitarization project was then forgotten by scholars for more the Newport Chemical De- the con- taken on by the federal government in compliance with international doctrine. than one hundred years. If sold, the piece pot has stored 1,269 tons of s t r u c t i o n Demilitarization was completed August 8, 2008. could sell for around $100,000. nerve agent VX in 1,960 steel of a plant containers. Nerve agent specifically Transformer shuts VX is an odorless, tasteless d e s i g n e d destruction when the caustic port community lived for more liquid that is classified as a for the neutralization pro- wastewater is removed from than 40 years with 1,269.3 tons down Large persistent agent, a chemical cess. In this process, the VX the shipping containers at Veo- of one of the deadliest chemi- that can remain on clothes is mixed with heated sodium lia, after which the Army will cals created by man, and now Hadron Collider and other surfaces for ex- hydroxide and water in a re- apply to the Organization for it’s gone.” The 30-ton transformer that cools part tended periods. It interferes actor. The resulting product the Prohibition of Chemical Doubtless, the elimination of the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) broke with the proper operation of of caustic wastewater is then Weapons for a final inspection of the chemical stockpile at last week, forcing the stoppage of the LHC. the enzyme that acts as the shipped to Veolia Environ- to certify complete destruction Newport without incident is When the transformer broke down, the op- body’s ‘off switch’ for glands mental Services in Port Ar- of the stockpile at the Newport a great relief for its citizens. erating temperature rose from below two and muscles, effectively thur, Texas for final disposal. facility. However, the process is not degrees Kelvin to four and a half Kelvin, over-stimulating them un- Despite these intricacies, the Despite the international im- completely finished: it will which is warmer than the normal operating til they can no longer func- process was an overwhelm- plications of the end of the neu- now enter a closure phase in temperature. The transformer failed within tion. Exposure to VX can ing success, being complet- tralization process, the most which buildings and equip- hours of its launch, but an operator did not build up in the body, and it is ed in three years and three important effect of completion ment will be dismantled, and report the problem for over a week. The especially toxic if absorbed months without any agent- is the impact on the citizens of various wastes related to the transformer failed on September 11, and through the skin. related injuries or illnesses. Newport. According to Terry neutralization process will be the system was shut down. The faulty trans- Because of the danger of The impact of this historic Arthur, Public Affairs Officer of disposed of. It is expected to former has been replaced, and the LHC is this chemical, disposing of undertaking is twofold. First, the Newport Chemical Depot, take another 18 to 20 months back to normal operating temperatures. It such quantities of it was a the Army will receive Chemi- “The risk of continued storage before the de-militarization of will still be several weeks before the first sig- difficult undertaking. In cal Weapons Convention of the Newport stockpile has the Newport Chemical Depot nificant collisions are attempted. general, de-militarization treaty credit for the chemical been eliminated… The New- is complete. Texting more Rush & recruitment at Rose dangerous than Hoby Tam cause college life is much generations on how the hous- far from media attention. Guest Writer more than just books and es are the breeding grounds Many of us are familiar with drugs, alcohol reports. It’s about getting for alcoholic, sex–addicted media spin on Greek life with A study in Great Britain on seventeen driv- he age old ques- to know real life and tak- heathens and brutes, but then, films such as American Pie - ers aged 17-24 was carried out by the Trans- tion of “to be or ing in all that it has to offer. there are those that have claim Beta House, Old School, and port Research Laboratory (TRL) on behalf Tnot to be” exists in One such non-academic that their house was a place of – of course – Animal House. of the Royal Automobile Club Foundation its most intense form during decision that every college brother/sisterhood, breeding The depiction of wild parties found that the reaction time for the drivers our “golden years” as col- student must endure is to ground for scholars and good (Toga! Toga! Toga!) and glam- was slowed 35% when writing or reading lege students because it is be or not to be involved in citizens, and a place to chill orous girls, and for the gals, text messages. TRL also found that reaction the period in which we truly Greek life. and have some fun. Both sides guys galore mixed with mass time only deteriorated 12% for those at the start to identify ourselves Whether or not to go Greek are bolstered by statistics; sta- amounts of alcohol makes legal alcohol limit, and 21% by those un- for the rest of our lives is a fickle question that many tistics show elevated levels of the decision of going Greek an der the influence of cannabis. In addition — and let’s not lie to our- ponder about. There are underage drinking at frater- even tougher one – a decision to that, steering control decreased by 91% selves — social circles are — just like every other issue nities nationwide, but there based upon ethics – should we while being distracted by text messages, and forming and we do not want — proponents and opponents are also statistics correlating abide by our super ego - our only 35% when under the influence of can- to be left out. Despite our presenting the pros and cons, higher GPAs and community angel on our left shoulder - or nabis. Texters were also prone to maintain presence here as individuals respectively, presenting ratio- service with Greek life. succumb to our id - the devil unsafe distances between cars, and tended seeking higher education, nal reasons to go Greek or not To throw a wrench into an on our right. to drift from their lanes. many of our decisions are to go Greek. There are scathing already overwhelming mess, non-academic. Why? Be- disapprovals from the older fraternities and sororities are Continued on Page 3... In this issue of the Rose Thorn... Creepers...

NEWS “Too Human,” Too Much OPINIONS Big Games in Soccer F

3 6 LIPSIDE Tired of Obama? Linux Friendly RHIT Campus? 8

E4NTERTAINMENT 7SPORTS 8 PAGE -

NEWS - PAGE 3 ENTERTAINMENT - PAGE 4 QUEENS- PAGE 5 OPINIONS - PAGE 6 SPORTS - PAGE 7 FLIPSIDE 2 PUZZLES & CLASSIFIEDS The Rose Thorn

Jigsaw-doku By Melissa Brumbaugh Strt Txtn’! By Jim Sedoff Try to place all the letters: H O Y P A L R F B in the Instructions: Convert each word from its keypad cells so that no letter is repeated in each row, col- numbers. umn, and irregular box. 66873

872

2326

4248

38437638

CLASSIFIEDS

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The Rose Thorn Editorial Staff Thorn Staff CM 5037, 5500 Wabash Ave. Melissa Brumbaugh Co-Editor-in-Chief Andrew Klusman Terre Haute, IN 47803-3999 Staff Writers Co-Editor-in-Chief Jim Sedoff Emma Carroll Phone:(812)877-8255 J.P. Verkamp News Editor Scott Gallmeier Fax: (812)877-8166 Opinions Editor Christine Price James Zhou Entertainment Editor Ben Collins E-mail: [email protected] Living Editor Jessica Rogers http://www.rose-hulman.edu/thorn Sports Editor Mike Ferguson Humor Editor Matt Melton “Working to keep the Rose-Hulman community informed Copy Editor Tim Boyer by providing an accurate and Photo Editor Andrew Carlson dependable source for news and information.” Cartoonist Nick Easter Layout Manager Cari Harper The Rose Thorn is published on Fridays fi rst through ninth week each quarter. Administrative Staff Photographers Albert Mui Advertising Manager Julie Goodrich Matt Vargo Business Manager Andrew Carlson Tim Ekl Webmaster Tom W. Most Advisor Richard House

The Rose Thorn welcomes and encourages comments from its readers. We request that all letters to the editor be less than 600 words in length. THE DEADLINE FOR CONTENT SUBMISSION IS 5 P.M. THREE DAYS PRIOR TO PUBLICATION All content should be submitted to [email protected] or to the Rose Thorn Offi ce (Hulman Memorial Union room 249). The editors reserve the right to edit submissions for clarity, grammar, length, and factual errors. The editors reserve the right to accept content changes submitted after deadline. All letters must contain the writer’s signature (electronic form is acceptable) and contact information (e-mail address and/or phone number). The views expressed in the Rose Thorn are those of the original author and do not necessarily represent the views of the Rose Thorn staff or Rose-Hulman community. Friday, September 19, 2008 NEWS 3 Despite Windows-only Addiction to tanning comparable to drug, policy, RHIT campus alcohol abuse

Maya Srikrishnan their own skin damage that is not surprisingly Linux-friendly T h e D a i l y T e x a n normally visible to the naked eye.” Dr. Kent Aftergut, a dermatolo- Tim Ekl The server market isn’t connect to Tibia, we can print, A recent study conducted at gist at UT Southwestern Medical Guest Writer the only place Linux has ap- we can use Matlab, Maple, all Virginia Commonwealth Univer- Center in Dallas, said he has pa- peared at Rose. Last year Rose the common software that sity found 25 percent of students tients who have had multiple skin When students go to the of- saw the formation of a Linux people can use. The only issue surveyed show symptoms of a cancers and keep tanning despite fice of Instructional, Admin- Users’ Group (LUG) by junior we have so far is that…you physical addiction to tanning. knowing its risks. istrative, and Information computer engineering major have to have a network con- “Tanorexia” is a relatively new “They say, ‘I just can’t stop,’ and Technology (IAIT), the official Michael Auchter and senior nection for Maple.” concept, said Carolyn Heckman, ‘It makes me feel so good,’” After- line is always the same: Rose- computer science major Andy Although Auchter personally a researcher at the Fox Chase gut said. “That’s one of the charac- Hulman is a Windows-only Spencer. prefers Gentoo Linux, a highly Cancer Center who led the study, teristics of addiction.” campus. Any other operating “We basically started that as customizable distribution, the in an e-mail. Heckman and her He said addressing a tanning system is unsupported. But a place that various Linux us- LUG works with several differ- team sent a survey to 400 stu- dependency will be different than unofficially, it’s a completely ers could get together and talk ent distrobutions, including dents at the University and iden- addressing a drug addiction. different story. about technology or Linux is- Ubuntu and Arch Linux. Sev- tifi ed symptoms as feeling the “With a drug addiction, some- “If it comes down to ‘I need sues at Rose,” Auchter, presi- eral users also run Plan 9 from need to tan more and more over one could immediately overdose my laptop working,’ it’s going dent of the Rose LUG, said. Bell Labs, another alternative time, feeling sick or uncomfort- and die or get into a car crash,” he to be our normal policy of ‘re- “[The group] definitely has to the school-sanctioned Win- able when trying to stop tanning said. “Tanning isn’t an immediate load and go,’” Mitch Baker, se- been a success.” dows systems. after tanning regularly for a while threat so it isn’t as urgent.” nior systems administrator at Along with providing a place Even incoming freshmen are and tanning despite awareness “It depends on people’s skin IAIT, said. “But from an over- to go for Linux help and shop quick to pick up on the Linux of potential problems such as types,” said Aruba Tan owner Zach all standpoint of learning, it’s talk, the group hosts regular trend on campus. Peter Klein, burns, pre-cancerous lesions or Medlin. “If someone is trying to a good thing for students to be “installfests” for first-time a freshman computer science wrinkling. build a base tan, they might need exposed to as many operating Linux users. Any student can major, successfully installed “I believe that it has the poten- to come in more. If someone needs systems as possible.” come with a laptop or other Linux on his school-issued tial to be a serious health risk,” to come four times a week to get According to Baker, IAIT computer and get help install- laptop within two weeks of ar- Heckman said. “At this point, we the color they want, that’s what staff will generally help users ing and running Linux, free riving on campus. look at symptoms similar to other they need to do. There is no sign of of alternate operating systems of charge. Computer Science “Linux is cool,” Klein said. “I substance dependences such as abuse with it.” – including Linux – if time’s professors requested two of wanted to try something that alcoholism.” Medlin said he encourages available, but often the four the group’s four past “in- was not Windows; I’d been us- The center’s research group is his customers to use the tanning workers at the Help Desk don’t stallfests” as a teaching aid for ing Windows for a long time. continuing its study, looking at beds responsibly. If he felt his cus- have that luxury. Operating Systems courses. I’d also been using Linux on ways to address such an addic- tomers were abusing the tanning Behind the scenes, however, For the most part, accord- servers, and I wanted Linux tion. beds, he would try to stop them, Rose is very much a Linux- ing to Auchter, Linux on per- on my desktop.” “Some of the same strategies he said. based environment. The core sonal computers works well at So far, Klein said, the only used for treatment of traditional He said this particular study is servers on campus run a mix- Rose. issue he’s encountered has substance disorders, such as psy- making a big generalization based ture of Red Hat Linux and “Everything works pret- been the need for special soft- chological counseling, may be on results from one university Windows Server. Baker him- ty much great. I’ve gotten ware for certain courses. But, helpful,” she said. “We are com- and cited other studies that focus self has a Red Hat Linux sys- through all of my classes so he noted, “When I’m not do- paring the use of education, psy- on the positive effects of tanning, tem, rather than Windows, for far using only Linux on my ing… ECE 130 work, I’m in chological counseling and show- such as sunshine and artifi cial personal use. laptop,” Auchter said. “We can Linux.” ing people UV-fi ltered photos of tanning producing vitamin D. Animal House, from Page 1 The fraternities and sororities shape or form, during the fra- of Rose Hulman have distin- ternity meeting and activites guished themselves from these fair, Rush was highly encour- organizations depicted in mov- aged. It is a great way to meet ies, in that it is more of a com- new people and make connec- munal, scholarly environment tions for future use. Rush also rather than the alcohol satu- offers an opportunity for stu- rated environments portrayed dents to tap into the resources in Hollywood. of the Greek institutions – such To say the as the up- least, one can- perclassmen not filter and who have al- sift through The fraternities ready taken all the infor- the courses mation one is and sororities of we are cur- b o m b a r d e d rently en- with – we can- Rose Hulman have rolled in. not simply just And let us say yes or no. distinguished them- not forget Thus, Rush was about the born. “selves from these free stuff. To put it in the Recruiters simplest terms, organizations de- for the fra- rush is like a ternities will free trial offer. picted in movies... try to per- Of course, there suade rush- are those that ees by show- are not even ering them interested in the product. He or with everything from free cups she fl ips the channel and ignores to food. the infomercial. Rush requires a Any information about rush time commitment which is only can be found through the Rose- surpassed by action of pledging Hulman” website which lists all for a Greek institution. Rush also the contacts of officers of each means constant – sometimes organization. unwanted - contact with “Frat There are two sides to ev- boyz”. Rush is not always right ery decision and the choice for everyone. It will take a signif- to go Greek or not should not icant chunk of time and actual be made with light judgment. space (fraternities will advertise Rush can be seen as an annoy- in residence halls). Sometimes ing nuisance or a chance to the product is unwanted and taste all the fruits of life – it is any advertisement is an unnec- a matter of prospective. To be essary burden. or not to be – a hard question On the flipside, if one is con- but nonetheless a question that sidering Greek life in any way, must be made. 4 ENTERTAINMENT The Rose Thorn Too Human: we truly do err Barrage hits all the right notes Andrew Ernster the player more than any lack of Ben Collins ing out a great show. Aside from who had only received her ticket Guest Writer skill. So, let’s say the player opts Entertainment that, the other pieces were good apparently by chance. She went to try out ranged weapons. The E d i t o r but less distinguishable from one on to say that she was “very im- Too Human is a game that targeting system and boredom another in quality. pressed” by the skill and speed of spent ten years in development, will quickly make him revert back In this past week, each performer. bouncing from console to con- to the much more satisfying hu- The Performing Arts Some side sole, being dropped, being picked man-blender that is melee com- series brought us comments I’ve up, being dropped again, being bat. That, and some enemies ac- the Calgary, Canada- heard, though, re-imagined and eventually be- tually don’t take ranged damage. based violin group, were to the ef- ing spit out onto the Xbox 360 Instead they absorb damage, and Barrage. With a sold fect that the for the excited consumer to pick then explode when the player out show, they cer- show wasn’t as up. However, the hopes of that melees them. tainly had a large good as it could consumer would be completely After playing for a while and portion of the Rose have been. This demolished as he realized exactly figuring out most of the minu- community to im- mainly was due what Too Human accomplishes, tiae, the gamer realizes that the press. An event like to the fact that which happens to be very little. best way to get loot is to play this even drew faculty there was a larg- The game is a giant grind-fest. co-op through all four levels at and students alike to er expectation Anyone who has experience with once. Each stage gives the player experience the front of what was go- massively multiplayer online tokens, which increase the drop headliner of Hatfield’s ing to happen role-playing games will instantly chance of the best loot. So, if the many performances on stage; the recognize Too Human’s mechan- player has five hours to spare on this year, and they previews given ics. The player chooses a charac- something that isn’t entertain- were not disappoint- to the campus ter class, levels up, and then tries ing, and really good luck (each ed. through the web- to get the best loot in the game disconnect and death resets To sum it up, Bar- site and previous by playing through the same four the player’s loot chance), then rage dazzled the Courtesy of Bunny Nash recorded per- Visit the band’s website at www.barrage.org for band info levels over and over again. The he’s pretty much set. This is of audience into thun- formances via problem with this formula is that course rarely the case, so maybe derous applause every time. The The back-up band was espe- YouTube showed off dancing that it only works when it’s balanced the player tries out single player choreography for each number cially good; the beats and bass was somewhat diluted in this by multiplayer aspects. And mode, in which the game can was playful and engrossing with lines were some of the best I’ve performance. while Too Human does feature actually be paused and discon- action occurring across the stage heard from a live band in a long However, these opinions were a co-op component, it is very nects are non-existent. The best with each musician. This chore- time. The guitarist, Hidayat Hon- few and far between, and one poorly executed. For those few way to do this would be to play ography, while being fun, wasn’t ari, left me in awe as his talent not student particularly commented strange people hoping to play co- through the teleportation mod- on the same level as the music. only warranted his own song, but to the contrary. “They were very op with their friends, Too Human ule, which is a hidden feature of There was honestly only one a song meant especially for vio- talented [at what they did]…I gives nothing. There is no split the hub-city’s map. This feature point where I was surprised by lin. At the meet-and-greet with don’t know what else there could screen mode, so the only way pumps out more enemies, more one of the performers and left me the band, I made sure to shake possibly have been. It was really to play with someone is to force loot, and less story than playing absolutely speechless. hands with them all as though great,” says Rachel Schaftlein, Ju- them to buy their own copy. This through the other single player Dancing aside, the music was they were the main act. nior Chemical engineering major. wouldn’t be so bad, but it seems mode. The story of Too Human diverse, and while not always ex- The community response was My inclinations are to agree that that not many people want to pretty much consists of boring hilarating, it was emotional and similar to my own, many people the show was still good but a little waste sixty dollars on a mediocre dialog with characters that don’t provoked a need to listen. My saying they enjoyed every min- unsatisfying with the knowledge experience that produces more matter about things that weren’t favorites out of the song list were ute of the show. “I’m glad I got of what could have been done. frustration than fun, but more on appropriately introduced. So “Rasputin,” “Eleanor Rigby,” “Kar- my ticket at the last minute,” Still, Barrage came and gave us a that later. So, the player is forced the game starts off on a monster en’s Air,” and “Tico Tico,” with the says Alicia Enriquez, Freshman great show that was a great start- to select from this list of names a hunt, and then disjointedly shifts traditional Chinese pieces round- Chemical engineering major, er to the season. potential gaming partner. Who to trying to kill Loki’s daughter this person is, what class he plays, for revenge. Unfortunately, even how long he’s had the game, any the rare cinematics that contain shred of information that may be somewhat interesting mate- potentially useful is absent from rial, such as explosions or flashy this list of names. The player is swordplay, are presented terribly. fed a name, a stage, and a player All they do is break up the action level, and nothing more. and further increase the player’s So let’s say that against all odds boredom which, at this point, is the player finds a skilled partner approaching coma-inducing lev- of a compatible player class who els. actually wants to play the game. For those brave souls still will- In this optimal but dismally infre- ing to give Too Human a chance, quent situation, there is fun to be I applaud your bravery and sus- had, until the player gets stuck in pect you of masochism. Too Hu- an elevator right before a boss, or man is not a game that is played randomly disconnects from the to have fun. It is not simply chal- host, or even just dies because lenging either. It is poorly de- the controls are a little iffy, and signed. If you like being killed instead of attacking an exploding because a boss was designed to enemy from afar, his character cater to a very different character gladly charges right into a fiery class, if you like getting stuck in death. The player is then forced walls, if you like dying for abso- to watch a 20 second cutscene. lutely no reason at all, then Too This is sometimes useful, as it al- Human is perfect for you. Other- lows for twenty seconds in which wise, stay away. the game is not played. During this small time period, the player can get a snack, or perhaps do Official Thorn rating: 1 elephant something that is actually fun. But inevitably, the game will re- turn control of the player’s char- acter to him, and, from a need to make value of his disintegrated sixty dollars, the player will re- Music Releases: turn, hoping for a small sliver of happiness. -B.B. King So yes, Too Human has a poor control scheme and ter- One Kind Favor rible programming. The camera -Metallica does strange things in the midst Death Magnetic of combat, doors that should open become unopenable, and Movies Release: enemies randomly disappear or stop attacking. The control scheme maps everything to the - Lakeview Terrace right joystick, and, while eventu- - Ghost Town ally it feels fairly fluid, mapping a - My Best Friend’s Girl ranged attack and a bull-charge- like attack to the same movement is never a good idea, especially in a game in which the design kills Friday, September 19, 2008 HOMECOMING 5 Your nominees for Rose-Hul- man’s 2008 Homecoming Queen are as follows, including their nominating bodies: Julianna Barr - Delta Sigma Phi

Annie Bullock - Alpha Omicron Pi

Natalie Dickman - BSB Hall

Mychal Fitterer - Alpha Tau Omega

Tess Fuller - Society of Women Engineers

Stephanie Hance - Pi Kappa Alpha

Jessica Haste - Speed Hall Julianna Barr is truly honored Annie Bullock is a junior bio- Natalie Dickman is a senior Mychal Fitterer was born in to have been nominated by the medical engineering major from biomedical engineering major Ellensburg, Wash. to Brad and Kristen Hawkins - Sigma Nu Delta Sigma Phi fraternity as Bedford, Ind. She is represent- from Herscher, Ill. She’s the presi- Connie Fitterer. She went to high their homecoming queen candi- ing Alpha Omicron Pi women’s dent of the Rose Choir, a mem- school at Riverside Christian Kara Horn - Chi Omega date. She is a sophomore applied fraternity, where she holds the ber of the Rose Drama Club, the School in Yakima, Wash. where biology major from Louisville, office of vice president of admin- secretary/treasurer of the Blue she was captain of the basketball Mandy Kronmiller - Triangle Ky. She’s currently going through istration. She is also a member of Key Honor Society, the secretary team and on the state champion recruitment, and excited about Alpha Phi Omega and Ballroom of the Biomedical Engineering track team. Mychal is currently Jessica McKinley - Lambda Chi Alpha joining a sorority here. In her Dancing Club, on the competi- Society, and member of the Per- a sophomore biomedical engi- spare time, she loves to draw and tive ballroom dance team, and forming Arts Committee. She is neering major. She is a member Kelly VanDercreek - Tri Delta paint, and one day hopes to sell works with Habitat for Humanity. also a member of the Admissions of Chi Omega and is currently some of her art. She also enjoys After her homework is done, An- Office A-Team, and the resident serving as their campus activi- Katie Wolber - Alpha Phi Omega reading, being outside, and pho- nie enjoys reading, needlepoint, assistant on BSB 3. Music is her ties director. She is also a mem- tographing nature. She likes to community service, cooking, passion; however, she also enjoys ber of the Career Fair Team and Meredith Woodard - Phi Gamma Delta bake and cook too. She especially long walks around Speed Lake basketball, reading, watching on the Intramural Council. This likes baking cookies; her floor in and spending time with friends, movies, sleeping, hanging out past summer Mychal traveled to All photos taken by Dale Long Blumberg last year can tell you who often call her their ‘My Size with friends, and the color green. Kenya and Tanzania on a medical about those. Barbie.’ mission trip.

Tess Fuller is a senior chemi- Stephanie Hance, nominated Jessica Haste, originally from Kristen Hawkins, nominated Kara Horn is currently a se- cal engineering major from Kan- by the Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity, Germantown, Tenn., is a fresh- by the Sigma Nu fraternity, is a nior applied biology major. After sas City, Mo. She is a member of is a junior chemical engineering man mechanical engineering senior civil engineering major graduating she plans to attend Alpha Chi Sigma, the Society of major from Noblesville, Ind. She major residing in Blumberg. from Pittsburgh, Pa. She is presi- graduate school to earn her mas- Women Engineers, Residence is now a three-year member and Among her favorite activities are dent of the Delta Delta Delta so- ters in public health; ultimately Hall Association, Tau Beta Pi, and co-captain of the Rose women’s horseback riding, photography, rority, former president of the she hopes to work with emerg- the resident assistant on Mees 4. swimming and diving team and and singing along with the radio Society of Women Engineers, and ing infectious diseases and their She enjoys making new friends, also the vice president of the Wa- in her car. Her nomination comes a member of the American Soci- prevention and control. Her most hanging out with people, listen- ter Polo Club. She’s a member of from Speed Hall, three-time Hal- ety of Civil Engineers. In her free active role on campus is as presi- ing to music, and traveling (any- Delta Delta Delta as well as Al- lympics winner and home to her time she is a fan of the Pittsburgh dent of Chi Omega, but she’s also where at any time). She hopes to pha Chi Sigma. She has been a escort, Tim. She is a member of Steelers, enjoys watching Law involved in the International So- one day get her Ph.D. in microbi- part of the Rose Career Fair team Rose’s chorus, the Rose Thorn, and Order, and spending time ciety of Pharmaceutical Engineers ology, studying immunology and and a part of the spring musical and can often be found at the with her friends. She currently and plays on the women’s lacrosse pathogenesis. Her ultimate goal is orchestra pit for two years. In her pool tables in Chauncey’s. Jessica works for the Admissions Office team. She also loves traveling and to live in a castle in Scotland with free time, she really enjoys biking, enjoys musicals, geek humor, and giving tours and is a grader for exploring new things, exercising her dream pet, a pygmy hippo- reading, and playing the piano. the great outdoors. the Civil Department. her creative side, and being out- potamus named Thiago. side as much as possible!

Mandy Kronmiller is a senior Jessica McKinley is a junior Kelly VanDercreek is a senior Katie Wolber is a senior bio- Meredith Woodard is a junior chemical engineering major mi- mechanical engineering major computer engineering student medical engineering major from optical engineering major from noring in engineering manage- from Hope, Ind. She is a member from Las Vegas, Nev. where she Brookville, Ind., representing Al- Nashville, Tenn. She’s involved ment, from Fort Wayne, Ind. Her of Delta Delta Delta, the junior attended Faith Lutheran Jr/Sr pha Phi Omega. (You probably in many activities including Chi passions include spending time class president, and is co-captain High School. She is representing know them from Paws on the Pa- Omega, where she’s involved in with her fiancé and extended of the Rose-Hulman Dance Team. the Delta Delta Delta sorority, tio.) She likes long walks through community service, Rose Drama family, backpacking trips, com- She is also co-coordinator for where she currently holds the po- penguin exhibits, reading Cosmo, Club and co-captain of the cheer- munity service and Jesus Christ. Rose’s “Up ‘til Dawn” program, a sition of webmaster. Kelly is also Diet Sunkist, and hates the sound leading squad. She has been in She has served the campus as freshman orientation leader and a player on the Women’s Lacrosse that cotton balls make when torn “Crazy for You” and “Once Upon a SGA senior class president, Blue a member of the Admissions Of- team and a member of SAB. She apart. She is a resident assistant Mattress.” She was also in the cast Key president, Best Buddies fice staff. In the future she hopes currently lives off-campus with in Blumberg, a member of RHA, of “Scapin,” but she was dressed president, Panhellenic vice presi- to pursue a master’s degree in her dog and plans on getting a and a Ventures intern. She enjoys as a man, with a mustache and dent, and American Institute of aeronautical engineering from job after graduation next year. In doing everything from volunteer- goatee! She enjoys reading, danc- Chemical Engineers secretary. the Air Force Institute of Technol- her spare time she enjoys reading ing at Union Hospital, to going to ing, spending time with her two She is also a member of Omega ogy and work in defense research popular fiction, watching movies, gun shoots, and Taco Bell Runs at cats and is also a loyal fan of Uni- Chi Epsilon. and development. and playing video games. 2 a.m. versity of Tennessee football. 6 OPINIONS The Rose Thorn The joy of purses Letter to the Christine Price panda; hand lotion; three types ing school, because I’ve got a Opinions Editor of chapstick; a notebook of ran- backpack. But it’s nice to know dom things (example of entries: my purse (which I got 3 years editor There’s a lot of things that suck Directions to hostels, shopping ago for $5) is an option—un- about being a woman. Lower lists, my MAC address, and the like men, who have to resort to There are many different def- Naturally, this lends itself to the wages. Longer hair. Legs that contact information for some murses. When going out with initions for politics, some bet- first time since the 1952 elec- need constant shaving. Birth Indian pilgrims I met in Spain); friends, I don’t have to agonize ter than others. One of the best tion that neither the incumbent and afterbirth. And so on. some giftcards; two round d6’s what I have pocket space for. If definitions that I’ve heard yet President nor the incumbent But there is one thing we that nevertheless work; a “Get ever I decide to become more describes politics as “the art of Vice President is in the general have that men don’t. Well, a few out of hell free” card; etc. Buddhist and abandon my at- preventing people from taking election. things. But the thing this article If I were to stuff all this stuff tachment to the physical, I can part in affairs which properly Another first taking place is is about, as you can guess from in my pockets, I would look like do it in one easy step by forget- concern them.” A much more the effective elocution of Barack the title, is purses. Purses are the elephant man. Or I would ting my purse somewhere. As a conventional definition sub- Obama. He has been compared so freaking useful. In mine I’ve have to go without my wet female, I may never be able to mits that politics “is the process to JFK and Martin Luther King, got a pocket knife that has not wipes and directions to a watch melt my name into to the snow. by which groups of people make Jr. with his “wise words”. One of only a mirror, but a mini sew- I no longer wear. True, I don’t But there are some compensa- decisions.” However you define the biggest talking points this ing kit; a pen in the shape of a really use my purse much dur- tions to being female. politics, polls show that most election season has been his Americans dislike politicians. ability to motivate people. It all In fact the first time a politician began back in 2004 when he de- declares his party, no less than livered the keynote address at Mark Minster 50% of the country hates him. the Democratic National Con- seriously. So naturally, writing an opinion vention held in Boston, Mas- piece regarding politics will not sachusetts. The takeaway line be well received by all. My only from that speech was, “There is It’s easy to rag on Terre Haute. that last year, I’d encountered a left to compost for a month or hope is that it makes you think. not a liberal America and a con- Our river’s poison, our traffic lights tall, sallow-complected man in two.) So let’s get to the biggest issue servative America; there’s the willful and our trains vindictive. black who looked just like Death. On Sunday, the India Asso- right now – the election. United States of America.” This Our motto, “A Level Above,” prac- I left the tent quickly, though I can ciation of Terre Haute hosted its Set to take place on Novem- speech would propel his cam- tically begs people to ask: above still say I went to Oktoberfest. Taste of India celebration. For ber 4th, this election marks paign to victory as Obama was what? Duluth? Flint? East St. Lou- Then, of course, I went to Blues $30 a plate (proceeds benefitting many firsts for the United later sworn in as a U.S. Senator is? One resident, blogging about a at the Crossroads (which was the Red Cross), you could watch on January 4, 2005. Two new restaurant built here in 2007, located, oddly enough, at the dancers in colorful garb shake short years after that, on wrote that we don’t need new res- Crossroads and not at Clabber their moneymakers (proceeds February 10, 2007, he an- taurants, “and besides, we got to Girl, where I’d gone looking for it). benefitting the Red Cross) while nounced his candidacy support our local restaurants, like The Blues was “going green” this you waited for a couple of hours However you de- for President of the Unit- Wendy’s, Arby’s, and Steak and year, which meant they had sepa- to eat. Sure, they ran out of food, ed States. The site of his Shake.” rate containers for recycling and but I got to eat so I’m not com- fine politics, polls announcement speech Friend, those aren’t local. And food waste and trash, and some plaining. And the curries were was the same site where I’m pretty sure they’ll do just fine sustainability-related booths. The nice, and the company was great, show that most Abraham Lincoln gave his without us. booths weren’t getting a ton of and the sweets were intriguing. “house divided” speech. But I come not to bury the Haute, foot traffic, and the bins might as And even the mayor was there to “American dislike As his campaign garnered but to praise it. This weekend, we well have been labeled “Go ahead say a few words—not the most support, he would go on had not one, not two, but three and be lazy.” That’s another story. articulate person, nor the most politicians. to give what is considered cultural events. I kicked off Satur- The point is, I got to drink culturally sensitive, but I’ll stop an historic speech in Phil- day morning by going to Oktober- bubble tea and eat fried Oreo and there. I’m running out of nice adelphia on race in Amer- fest and getting totally sloshed by listen to the blues without having things to say about him. ica. He even traveled to noon. Okay, that’s not true. I didn’t to drive to Bloomington or Indy My point is, the town was pret- Europe for a Berlin back- drink at all. I’m getting over a cold. or Chicago. (If you’ve never tried ty happening this weekend. The drop as he delivered yet And I only went to Oktoberfest by bubble tea, put it on your list. little town that kept trying. States. There is of course the another historic speech. Now accident, because I was looking Just avoid the flavor “durian,” a And you know? This town kind fact Barack Obama is the first most recently, Obama gave his for Blues at the Crossroads. But I fruit so pungent it’s banned from of grows on you. (So does ath- black American chosen as a acceptance speech at the Dem- did set foot into the Oktoberfest many hotels in Asia. It tastes like lete’s foot, perhaps, but you can Presidential candidate for ei- ocratic National Convention on tent, long enough to remember socks sautéed with onions and get a cream for that.) ther party. There is ” also the the 45th anniversary of Martin fact that Sarah Palin is the first Luther King’s “I Have a Dream” woman selected as the Vice speech. I think you’re seeing Presidential candidate for the the pattern. Republican Party. Essentially, Clearly he has a way with Zomg! Facebook changed! history will be made if either words. The question is do they party wins given that the win- actually mean anything. The Tim Boyer ning ticket will include either motto from the beginning has a black American or a woman. been “change we can believe C o p y However, there are many other in.” This idea has rallied young- E d i t o r firsts that are often overlooked. er voters to his cause; however, 2008 marks the first time in it has failed thus far to yield No one likes U.S. history that two sitting him any substantial lead in the getting spam. Senators will run against each polls. The fact of the matter There has other for President; all other is that he has begun to repeat been endless elections have involved gu- the same talking points, and d i s c u s s i o n bernatorial or incumbent can- people are starting to put the on how to didates. November will also pieces together. He has been stop it. I have bring the first election in which touting himself for so long that personal ex- http://www.facebook.com both major candidates were his speeches are beginning to perience that Oh gods, not another invitation! born outside the continental border on narcissism. The swift tells me the United States, Barack Obama and sweeping changes he es- same applies in Hawaii and John McCain in pouses in efforts to “remake the to facebook, from both sides of week to some group or event with proach the issue than treating it Panama. Yet another first for world” are proving too much. the problem. Specifically, I get some amount of people against as a catastrophe, like Hurricane this election cycle is that for And unfortunately for Barack, annoyed when I get spammed the new Facebook. Ike hitting Texas. (Am I the only the first time since 1928 neither the exhaustion of the American about pointless things like “lil It surprises me the time and ef- one who has used the “Send an incumbent President nor an people is starting to set in. green patch,” “someone has a fort that people put into an issue Feedback” button that’s in the incumbent Vice President ran crush on you,” and “5 bajillion like this that has such little effect upper right hand corner?) for their party’s nomination. Matthew Bryant people against the new Face- on the world. If all these groups In the end, for something like book.” succeed and Mark Zuckerberg this, don’t let it get you down. Just I understand that Facebook is and company go back to the old try something new. Like lyma- something many students use Facebook, will more children in bean.com. multiple times a day, including Africa be fed? Will gas prices go myself. I also understand people down? Will a good decision be don’t like things to change, espe- made for the election? Have opinions? cially when they don’t think any- I find it amazing that there are thing is wrong with how things two American wars being fought, are working. with soldiers dying every day and What I don’t understand is Americans are crying over spilt Send them to why the new Facebook is the big- milk, I mean, the new Facebook. opinions@ gest issue on Facebook. (Not that Now let me clarify, I agree that it’s an issue in general, but the there are some things about the rose-hulman.edu biggest issue.) I received about new Facebook that are pointless, one invitation a day for the past but there are better ways to ap- http://blog.syracuse.com Friday, September 19, 2008 SPORTS 7 Soccer faces Brandi fi rst big test Sturgill of season

Tim Boyer mean the most to me. Some- is really defi ned by the friendly, Tim Boyer coaching boots for the fi rst time. Copy Editor times the little thank-yous get caring atmosphere of our cam- Copy Editor On the fi eld, both teams re- overshadowed by larger recog- pus community. As an athlete turn strong talent from last year In past years, women’s volley- nitions, but I most appreciate I’ve experienced fi rst-hand, and After so many changes from with some strong freshman tal- ball has not been a standout pro- having someone come up and deeply appreciate, the fans com- last season, the men’s and wom- ent on top. With so many new gram here at Rose. But like many tell me that I’m doing a good job, ing out to support our team. I en’s soccer teams will face a big puzzle pieces coming together, varsity programs here such as making their job easier, or that also have some amazing team- test on the fi eld tomorrow as both teams had a rough start to football, soccer and softball, the I’m motivating them to push mates that make my day when I both teams square off against the season, having trouble fi t- bar for volleyball has been raised harder. It lets me know that I’m see them at practice. Volleyball conference favorite Transylva- ting everything together. But in the past few years. With a new doing what I need to do for the has also helped me with my aca- nia University. In both men’s and being Rose-Hulman students, batch of talented freshman and team to be successful. demic load by forcing me to stay women’s soccer, the Pioneers the players have learned quickly experience from the upperclass- organized and on top of all my were picked to fi nish fi rst in the and made big jumps in perfor- men, this should prove to be an RT: In past years, the volleyball assignments and has been great Heartland Collegiate Athletic mance. interesting season. team has struggled to do well for honing my leadership and Conference’s (HCAC) preseason Transylvania, chosen to cap- Leading the team this year in a season. How do you think teamwork skills. poll, just in front of Rose-Hul- ture the HCAC conference in with two other seniors is se- that will change this year? man which was picked second the preseason poll, continues nior chemical engineering ma- BS: We should do really well this RT: Sometimes playing at home on both sides. to demonstrate itself as a con- jor Brandi Sturgill. Sturgill is year. We brought in some amaz- can be a rowdy scene. How Both teams lost some fi re pow- ference power. The women the team’s top setter. This past ing freshmen that are already do you block out the noise to er after graduation and a com- Pioneers have proven to be a weekend at the Rose-Hulman doing great things and everyone concentrate on the match? mon head coach left after last strong team, narrowly falling Volleyball Invitational, Sturgill came in this year with more de- BS: While a play is going on season. On the women’s side, the to No. 19 Calvin 1-0 earlier this averaged and impressive 36.5 sire to win and a stronger work you’re so in the zone that you team lost four fi rst-team all-con- season but rebounding and assists per match. She current- ethic than I’ve seen over the don’t really notice anything ference players, including the toping No. 12 Denison 2-1 last ly ranks 49th in the NCAA with past 3 years. Our largest hurdle going on in the bleachers. In 2007 HCAC most valuable player Saturday. The Transylvania men 9.29 assists per set. (A “set” was will be learning to fi nish games between points I just try to fo- Jennifer Gordon. On the men’s have been having a bit tougher previously known as a “game”. A strong; we have to learn to kick cus on what we need to do to side, graduation took three fi rst- time. After starting out a per- “match” is played to best of three teams while they’re down. be successful on the next play team all-HCAC players including fect 4-0, they dropped their out of fi ve sets.) – locating hitters, calling hitting scoring power Matt Trowbridge. next two contests, the first to Sturgill took the time to an- RT: How do you think the team zones, knowing where their de- Perhaps the more shocking Wabash, whom Rose beat ear- swer some questions for the will do this year? fense is going, etc. - instead of news that came later in the year lier this season, and the second Rose Thorn. BS: Our team is awesome! Even the cheering. was the announcement that to Wilmington, where they lost though we joke about how few HCAC men’s and women’s Coach in double overtime on an own Rose Thorn: How long have numbers we have on our team, RT: Do you have any plans to of the Year Brad Hauter would goal. you been playing volleyball? we are mighty. As long as we stay involved in volleyball af- be leaving the program to coach The soccer teams will look to Brandi Sturgill: Since 7th grade stay healthy, we will cause some ter Rose? the men’s program at rival (and continue their winning streaks – between school and Junior trouble for the other conference BS: Defi nitely! Last year I his alma mater) DePauw Univer- tomorrow, starting at noon Olympic volleyball, 14 seasons. teams. I wouldn’t be surprised coached a club volleyball team sity. Subsequently this year, both at Jim Rendel Field when the at all if we wind up on top again and loved the experience. Hope- programs have new coaches (one women take on the lady Pio- RT: Is there a match that sticks this year. fully I’ll fi nd a club wherever I for each team this time around), neers. The men’s contest will out in your memory? end up next year. both putting on the college head follow at 2pm. BS: I remember the intensity RT: Rose volleyball received and excitement of the Home- a low preseason ranking. Do coming match against Transy you think the team could or 2 years ago just like it was yes- will prove the poll wrong? terday. The gym was packed BS: I believe we were overlooked and the fans were crazy. We re- in the preseason poll because of ally owed that win to our fans our performance last year. All – I think their intensity kept us I’m going to say is that we’re fi ghting and really intimidated working really hard and I think and frustrated the other team. the conference teams better watch their backs. RT: What’s the most meaning- ful award or recognition that RT: How has participating in a you’ve received? varsity sport had an effect on BS: It’s the daily recognition your experience at Rose? from my teammates that really BS: I think the “Rose experience” Engineer Scoreboard Volleyball Football 8-4 2-0 (0-0) September 12 September 13 Wilmington College 0 Rose-Hulman 10 vs. Rose-Hulman 3 at North Park U. 7

Eureka College 0 vs. Rose-Hulman 3

September 13 Women’s Golf Ohio Wesleyan U. 0 vs. Rose-Hulman 3 September 13 Hanover Invitational Greenville College 2 Madison, IN vs. Rose-Hulman 3 7th of 11

At home tomorrow

Football vs Greenville College Men’s soccer vs Transylvania 2 p.m. 2 p.m. Women’s soccer vs Transylvania Women’s tennis vs 12 p.m. Mt. St. Joseph 10 a.m. Transylvania U. 1 p.m. IIX FLIPSIDE The Rose Thorn Irrelevant meets irreverence - with sexy results Top Ten things “That’s not what your mother Wacky prof quotes “I’m the root here… the root said last night Trebek!” of all evil.” — Dr. Clifton. the Flipside gets I’m terrifi ed. “I’m categorically opposed to meetings!” (Pounds Fist) — Dr. House, during away with “The Thorn” staff meeting. Matt Melton “Look around the room... I Don’t Get Away With Anything... everyone here knows 10. Recurring Jokes – It just isn’t a Flipside without a Purdue joke. how dumb you are.” Or a civil reference. Or Halo, Mountain Dew, Creepers, girls, this isn’t — Dr. Grigg, putting his where I parked my car, gnomes, geese, lakings, DePauw… icebreakers to good use.

9. Panic Instigation – Mark my words, the geese will storm the Quad “When the chip stops by November. Next step, the world! working, it breaks and the magic smoke comes 8. Political agendas – Chuck Norris & Master Chief for 2008! Rockets out because the magical and roundhouses for all! little elves took a smok- ing break. Infer from that 7. Prank Warmongering – Speed won Hallympics. Controversially. Nick Easter - Dr. House’s Jeopardy Apprentice Are you going to take that Deming? Not without a fi ght! Bring on the what you will…” — Dr. Taco Bell packets and lakings! House didn’t have the thumbs for VanSchoiack, appar- ently having a Dungeons 6. Plagiarism – It’s not that I steal jokes…I merely recycle them. Jeopardy, but he did watch SNL & Dragons meets Tron That’s right, even the Flipside has gone green. relapse...

5. Laking Orders – Historically, when I would write “5 bucks to who- Wall Street bankers fum- “Have you ever picked up ever lakes ______,” the person would actually get laked. Anyone a marker and thought wish to take advantage of this? I accept bribes. ble their fi nal quarter ‘Mmmm that smells good.” — Dr. Morris, who James Zhou 4. Advertising – Buy a bonfi re T-shirt! Go to the 24-Hour Play Festival! may be the source of Dr. Order an offi cial special limited edition 11 X 18 printout of this Flip- Markets: The Only Thing Worth Playing VanSchoiack’s quote... side page for just $1! (Cash or check accepted) What a miserable finish for the 2008 fiscal season! The promis- 3. Unfounded Muckraking – I am this close to breaking the scandal ing Wall Street Bankers of New York City took heavy losses in this “I’m a very observant per- of the century: Naked Lady on a Fish in a secret love affair with Rosie week’s games, facing almost a 10% drop in their play ratings. In an son. I realize that if the the Elephant! For shame! astonishingly bad series of fumbles, fails, and injuries, the once wind blows from the left, AAA rated team has dropped into minors of Penny Stocks and it will fall over. We’ll worry 2. Libel – What do Depauw, Purdue, and Civils all have in common? I Junk Bonds. But what actually caused this event that sent shivers about that later.” — Dr. talk about them like a priest talks about God – just with the opposite through the big leagues and upset many international betters? Hanson. Thank goodness sentiment. Our field reporter went to the NY Exchange Stadium, sponsored by he’s not a Civil prof... Pepsi-Cola, to find out more. 1. Politically Incorrect References – Most of them by professors The transcript of his interview with the Bankers’ coach is as fol- “Of course, all these rules are lows: even! Thank you wacky prof quotes and student submitters! Then made up to confuse you “Look, this season started off great, you know? We’ve pulled an there’s Bringing Engineering to Everyone Journalists. Wow. and mark down points on enormous winning streak for 12 fiscal seasons. 12! That’s damn good. We didn’t think it would ever get broken. Oh sure, we some- exams.” — Dr. Serbezov. I The odds are good times lost the lead on a couple of days, but we always managed knew it! to get it back by the end of the week. Our playbook was the best; but the goods are...Creepers the winning strategy for almost all our games was Mort’s A.G.E “What happens when a strategy.” tail rips off a fi sh? The Noel Spurgeon “So what happened?” population is DOOMED!” Seriously Dude, You’re Creeping Her Out “Well, it turns out that the A.G.E. strategy was dangerous. We — Dr. Holder, whom I am knew that there was always the possibility of some of the play- keeping away from my It’s happening all over campus: freshmen males go to sleep, dream- ers getting injured during bull-rush, but the risk always seemed fi sh tank. ing of Halo and the next Super Smash Brothers, blissfully unaware so small compared to the gains. Now we know better, but we lost that just a few fl oors above them, their reputations are being marked a lot of our key players because of it. Sterns was a rookie with a “I am keeping it real. Yo.” great future and now he’s never going to get the fame he deserved. for eternity, victims of the recent appearance of the “stalker book.” — Dr. Minster. Yes you are. With a single swoop of the specially designated (and raspberry Lehman didn’t deserve to go out like that. He was gonna retire as a champion and now… I mean even Big Aiggy got taken out during scented) red pen, the letter C is placed on their foreheads, designat- the last game.” “Conservation of Principles ing them forever as a “Creeper.” “Do you plan on finishing this season, even with all your & … what’s the name “We know they go through and rate us,” says one freshman girl, losses?” of this course?” — Dr. who will remain anonymous for reasons of personal safety and dig- “Damn straight, Americans don’t quit in the middle of a thing VanSchoiack. My marker nity. “It’s only fair that we rate them too.” just because the going got rough. We’re putting up Fed into our theory is looking better She went on to say that Rose males are rated on a scale of zero to starting line-up. He’s a bit of a screw up, but he’s big and he’s got every minute. negative one hundred, zero being “as normal as can be expected for plenty of padding to take the blows. We can depend on him to an engineering school,” and negative one hundred meaning “dis- hold over until this season ends.” “You just put it in and take infect everything within a fi fty-foot radius.” Those with a Creeper Got Wacky Prof Quotes? it out.” — Dr. Brooks. You rating of negative thirty to negative one hundred are discussed in put that one in context, Seriously people, we need them like Tom Cruise needs Scientology. “Creeper Awareness Meetings (CAMs).” I’m not touching it. Please e-mail all of them to fl [email protected]. Thank you. In these closely-guarded gatherings, each fl oor of girls pours over the stalker books, carefully picking out each Creeper she has en- countered during her few short weeks at Rose. It could be the young I haz been gnomenappeded? man who sits next to her in Calculus and has no concept of personal space, or the guy on the fl oor below her who insists on fl aunting his emaciated physique in what can only be described as “girl jeans.” Regardless of who he is, the offending male is then forever marked with the scarlet letter of the Creeper. His name will be known to all females on campus within the next thirty minutes courtesy of the highly-advanced “girl network,” a form of communication so ad- vanced, some believe it is a form of telepathy. However, CAMs are not all business. The arrival of the stalker books has also allowed a new sport to develop among the freshman girls: Creeper-watching. Much like train-spotting, plane-spotting, or bird-watching, the goal of Creeper-watching is to spot as many Creepers in one day as possible from a distance of at least fi fteen yards. The evasion aspect of this sport has made it quite popular among the ridiculously energetic girls of the freshman class; one girl even called it “better than bear-blasting.” In the face of all this information, some of our male readers may be asking, “How can I be sure that I’m not a Creeper?” After all, being marked forever as a Creeper is a crushing blow to the self-esteem of many freshmen, demolishing their hopes of a girlfriend, a social life, and a meaningful existence. For those of you who fear the sting of the scarlet letter, take heart. There is a simple rule to follow, best described to me by one of Rose’s best Creeper-watchers: “If you have to ask, you probably are.” LOLgnomez - Just not the same Howdies Roses-Hulmans! Welcomz toose duh bottum linez. Alll unattribumated materials wuz writed byes Mattyou Mel10. LOLcats forevaz!...Whoo, glad that was over. Anyone wanna go goosehunting this winter?...Speaking of that, Percopo 1 and 0 need challengers for Nerf gun warfare...stop by if you’re interested, bring a resume (aka a really big or many nerf guns)...Today is talk like a Pirate day...don’t confuse that with the movie, or awkward results will occur...Yarrr?...Homecoming Queens on page 5...Guess which ones are single...