Price: FREE serenBangor’s Official English Language Paper Fresher’s Issue 2002 Students left stranded NEW STUDENTS are travelling in greater and greater volume from all over the world to study here at Bangor University. However with these ever- increasing numbers come some severe housing problems. This is a record year for new students and the University is desperately trying to meet its pledge to house all first years. Fourteen students will stay in the British Hotel for days or even weeks before space in halls is found, just as newcomers were kept there last year. This time around it appears the situation will only worsen: students will be expected to commute to Bangor from Anglesey. During Freshers’ week, 39 students will be bussed the five mile journey from the Carreg Bran Hotel to the University in order to attend Freshers’ activities and even for meals. These first few weeks of term are the most important for any student, it is the time for them to settle in and make new friends. However, due to this current crisis these students will have a difficult time making friends at all. It is a problem HALLS OF RESIDENCE: Not enough to go round? that students will soldier on through, but planning permission from the council It is the opinion of the SU however that should not have to endure. Two factors due to negative public opinion—the site the new halls aren’t even needed. Student are to blame: irregular student intake being close to a place of worship and President Andrew Wilson commented and student services not being quite as a residential site. It was to have around that “...we just have to make full use of organised as they should be. 200-300 rooms and was due to be opened the accommodation we already have to On perhaps a more positive note, the for the 2004/05 academic year. Planning solve the problem.” It seems the housing University is proposing the construction refusal will delay the project by at least crisis will continue indefinitely until a of new halls of residence in Dean Street. 12 months whilst the University appeals solution that appeases all sides of the However, the University has been refused to the National Assembly. argument can be decided upon. UUU SIOP — UNDEB — SHOP UUU OPEN 8.30am-4.30pm Mon to Fri For clothing, sweets, drinks, stationary, cards, cigarettes, snacks etc. SPEND OVER £1.00 & GET A FREE PEN!!! (limited offer) UUU Shop open on Normal site as well : 10am-2pm Mon to Fri UUU NEWS INSIDE A word from the Ed... page 2 With another Freshers’ week here again, Seren has once more struggled to stay alive. The SU paper has existed for over 20 years under its current title, Seren, Feature however, it is now fighting for funding, personnel, equipment and office space. Dating in Bangor Seren still survives, and still endeavours to reach the student population pages 4 & 5 on a monthly basis. Whenever Seren goes to print, it is down to the commitment, hard work and sheer bloody mindedness of a faithful few that refuse to let the Serendipity Map paper die. Many hours of work go in to creating Seren, not just the writing, but Freshers’ Fayre Guide the printing and the distribution. In order to publish in time for Freshers’ week, page 6 and in a desperate attempt save money, this issue of Seren has been printed in-house: all 9,000 pieces of paper, all folded and stapled by hand. I would like Movie Reviews to say a big thank you to everyone who has contributed to this issue of Seren. Latest release Signs Without you guys, Seren would have ceased to exist years ago, and it is down to page 7 your commitment and hard work that we still have a paper to be proud of. If you think that you have what it takes to run a busy newspaper office, then Music Reviews please get in touch. Visit our stall at Serendipity and we’ll happily welcome you on Idlewild & much more board. We’re in the curved lounge on both 25th and 26th September. And we’re not just interested in writers, we’re looking for section page 8 editors, proof readers, production staff, layout designers, advertising managers, Time Listings advertisers, photographers, reviewers and distributors. page 8 Alternately, email [email protected] or write to the address below. Please remember to include your name and contact details, ideally an email address. Culture The next issue of Seren will (hopefully) emerge in October, full of lovely articles, Theatre in Bangor diverse and interesting. This, however, depends on how many of you volunteer... page 11 Editor-in-Chief Julie Neild To Contact Seren, please write to: Coffee Break Assoc. Editor Chris Chapman Seren Horoscopes Production Helen Wright Students’ Union Sub-Editor Ian Fallon page 12 Deiniol Road News Graeme Hurd Bangor Culture James Dawson Adventures of Ron Gwynedd Music Ian Fallon Seren’s Comic Strip Movies Chris Chapman LL57 2TH Cartoon Chris Woodward or: [email protected] All opinions voiced in Seren are not necessarily shared by the Union or University, and are just opinions. Vegetarian? Vegan? SUPERMARKETS TODAY ambitiously at the dining table, but amongst those Residence can be included in the weekly tempt the appetite of a highly demanding seated more firmly and with the largest rounds of the team’s organic fruit and veg consumer culture. In Britain, just four plates, are the Wholefoods stores. In box scheme. Delicious daily-prepared rolls, corporations own the sovereigns of this Bangor, we have a thriving example of cruelty-free toiletries, fair-trade foods, a empire and sell 80% of the palatable stock how they do it—Dimensions! comprehensive range of organic produce, that we voraciously pile into trolleys. I must confess to harbouring something international gifts and literature make this The smaller store remains tentatively at the opposite end of the fondness scale a wonderful shopping haunt. Dimensions for supermarkets and as a newly landed is a must for the vegetarian, vegan, vegan student three years ago, I was specialist and curious shopper, whether eagerly looking for an affordable, friendly for lunchtime snacking, weekly cupboard place to shop that would cater for my refills, or quests for information. If it’s not demanding alternative tastes. Dimensions the friendly singing staff that tempt you proved to be the best discovery I made back, it will be the endless tasty treats in Freshers’ Week; a unique combination and sumptuous savouries to satisfy every of humorous and attentive customer care, frozen, chilled, warm, hot, sweet and sour frequent cooking demonstrations, sound level on your taste bud chart. nutritional advice, strong consumer and Situated next to Late Stop in Upper environmental awareness, and a mouth- Bangor, Dimensions is open watering range catering for the most 9.30am–5.30pm, Monday to Thursday and VEGAN: food without meat doesn’t have complex of palates. Students benefit from Saturday and 10.00am–6.00pm on Friday. to be bland and unappetising. a 10% discount on Fridays and Halls of They can be contacted on 01248 351 562. 2 COFFEE BREAK Coffee Break... Horoscopes Tell James... He can help you Your guide to the month ahead Dear James, Dear James with Psychic D I have a hugely embarrassing problem. You might think I’m a bad person, but I I am a girl, but I have course body hair have to tell some someone. Basically d LIBRA Sept 23rd to Oct 23rd on my arms, legs and back and I don’t I have two men on the go at once. One I believe that the lucky Librans among know what to do about it. I’ve just met is my boyfriend of two years, he’s a you will be equally cursed and blessed. I see a time of change and upheaval. a boy that I really like and I know he top bloke, and he’s like my best friend. wants to have sex with me, but I’m too But I’ve met a new guy, he’s huge and ashamed of my coat to let him see me muscular and sexy and he really gets e SCORPIO Oct 24th to Nov 21st undressed. Please tell me what you me going. I have to go now. Think carefully who to choose as your think I should do. Anonymous. friends this month, because I sense you have a back-stabber in your ranks. Hairy, 18. James Replies: f SAGITTARIUS Nov 22nd to Dec 21st James Replies: Dear Anonymous This month you should have every Dear Hairy Don’t brag, bitch. reason to hold your head up high as other’s Try not worry about your deformity, I’m confidence in you is justified. sure there are plenty of people who suffer from the same affliction as you, If you would like help with your g CAPRICORN Dec 22nd to Jan 19th none that I know, but nevermind. It problems, advice about to get out of My instinct tells me that right now, you seems there are a number of solutions sticky situations, or just want to write have the potential to achieve success, but to your problem. I assume that you’ve a letter to some one, drop a line to only if you consider all options… tried waxing and bleaching, electrolysis Seren’s very own Beautiful James etc? If not, there’s every possibility at the address on page 2 or drop h AQUARIUS Jan 20th to Feb 18th a letter in to the Union reception Never become complacent, as this is that your boyfriend is aware of your marked “Seren Letter.” All names when seemingly simple matters will complicate excess hair, I’m guessing you have a bit your life in ways that you never would expect. of a tache? The only other option I can will be kept anonymous if requested. think of is joining a freak show as “Lulu Writers are advised that they take i PISCES Feb 19th to March 20th the Dog Girl”; you may as well make James’ advice at their own risk. At this time, it is increasingly important some money from it. for you to stand up for what you believe in, although adversity may grow before it desists.
^ ARIES March 21st to April 19th Now is not the time for you to make a spectacle of yourself as it can only lead to disapproval of friends. Lay low.
_ TAURUS April 20th to May 20th The last months may not have been easy, yet I see change in sight, with surprises ahead which you may not be prepared for. ` GEMINI May 21st to June 21st I sense that you may feel you need more time to yourself and while this is good, do not neglect those close to you to prove a point. a CANCER June 22nd to July 22nd In the near future you may feel as though you have a lot on your plate, but it’s nothing you can’t handle with foresight and planning. b LEO July 23rd to Aug 22nd If you handle your finances sensibly in the coming weeks, it seems to me you’ll reap the rewards in the very near future. c VIRGO Aug 23rd to Sept 22nd If you’ve been feeling neglected, take comfort in the thought that it’s only in your head. FRESH FROM THE EDINBURGH FRINGE! A group of people hold you in high regard. Tues 1st October JOCKS’ BAR doors open 8.30pm 11 ADVERTISMENT
Contact us at: Email: [email protected] Website: http://come.to/marbo Tel: 01248 353286 Mob: 07786 140770
10 FEATURES (Gay) Sex and the City James Dawson shares his opinions on dating
CHANCES ARE that much like me, sex them. It’s school disco, but it works. didn’t really figure into your University However, if you find yourself selection process. For most of you this ticking the “Homosexual and Looking” box won’t really be a problem, mainly because on your reality TV application form, this a great number of you will have arrived is where the real mine field reveals itself. here having left a partner in some other For gay women, the game is less difficult. part of the United Kingdom with a promise For one thing, the girl’s rugby team seems to trial run a long distance relationship. I to have a stronger lesbian community than give it till November. the LGB, and second, some of the most Nevertheless, the heterosexuals enduring couples I’ve met in Bangor have among you shouldn’t have too much been lesbian couples, so don’t despair! The trouble finding sex; the Octagon, for boys are a whole other ball game (no pun, instance is a cheap and relatively easy rugby or testicle based is implied). phenomenon that only seems to occur here. way to bonk someone who remembers Bangor seems to me to have a While admittedly insecurity is a trait often Gary Glitter before he was arrested. gay male clique. The predictable lack found with gay types, the effect seems to It’s finding someone worth keeping that of gay men in Bangor results in no real be magnified by the prospect of having seems difficult. I have male and female sense of community and the inherent return to the fruitless dating pool, so the friends, all of above average beauty, some bitchiness that follows is alienating at relationships which do get off the ground of whom have been serial monogamers in best. Allow me to elaborate: everybody often appear needy and jealous, sometimes the sense that they’ve had an hour between has had everybody else. For example; leading to hysterical acts of ownership akin long-term relationships, but others who’ve say I wanted to find out information to pissing up a tree. I’ve learned from been left high and dry by the dating scene on a bloke I’ve been eyeing up. I could experience, avoid the ones with boyfriends. in Bangor. I think it all hinges on having ring up certain sources and have all the That leads me to the LGB. As a the confidence to track someone down in info I needed at my fingertips (again, no fresher, you may think that the LGB is your Time or Trash and tell them that you fancy pun). How? Because, even if my source first port of call for all your gay needs. The hadn’t had them, they’d most likely know organisation has improved since I started someone who had. The other option here (knocking shop), and it seems that seems to be to stay well out of the Bangor LGB may finally be something to be loop, this is the path I took and it’s had proud of. However, there are still a number of it’s positives and negatives, as fucked-up problems, namely the fragmentation, which jungle celeb, Uri Gellar might say. It kind exists in the “community”, which means the of flows in a circle whereby you don’t group is often low-key and the LGB organised put it about, so people don’t know that evenings (usually in Jock’s Bar) regualarly much about you and are unable to uncover show poor attendance, perhaps due to the details via the gay grapevine, but this also absence of gay women. A tip; give Saturday leads to fewer viable mates approaching nights at Main Bar a try (the irony of it being you and hence less of the aforementioned full of AU members!) Or join Soda. sex. The cycle then repeats itself. But Perhaps I’m being a bitter dissident I’d rather do that than have my details who didn’t get his share of action during entered into some human database far his college days. I like to think not, but more revealing than Gaydar can ever be. please decide for yourselves. I just thought An interesting side effect of the it my duty to give a community-spirited homosexual circus is a gay couple warning about unsafe sex in Bangor.
WANTED: investigative journalists proof readers movies reviews feature writers photographers music reviewers layout designers advertisers games reviewers distribution section editors staff writers culture reviewers sports writers investigative journalists proof readers movies reviews feature writers photographers music reviewers layout designers advertising gamesSEREN reviewers distribution section editors @ staff ‘DIPITY writers culture reviewers sports writers investigative journalists proof readers movies reviews feature writers photographers music reviewers layout designers advertising games reviewers distribution section editors staff writers culture reviewers sports writers investigative journalists proof readers games reviewers advertising moviesFind reviews us eature in thewriters Curvedphotographersfmusic Lounge reviewers layout designers distribution section editors staff writers culture reviewers sports writers investigative journalists proof readers movies reviews photographers feature writers music reviewers layout designers advertising Much more than just writing stuff...
3 YOUR GUIDE TO THE FRESHERS’ FAYRE Serendipity 2002 Main Bar and Lounge Athletic Union Clubs
1717 1818 1919 1616 2020 1515 2121 2928 2222
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2829 2424 6 7 88 9 2525 55 1010 2626
1 22 33 44 1114 1213 1312 1411 2727
MAIN BAR 8 Gymnastics THE LOUNGE 22 Riding 1 Archery 9 Cricket (Men) 15 Gaelic Football 23 Rugby (Men) 2 Athletics 10 Dance 16 Hockey (Men) 24 Rugby (Women) 3 Basketball (Women) 11 Fencing 17 Hockey (Women) 25 Squash 4 Basketball (Men) 12 Football (Men) 18 Ki-Aikido 26 Swimming 5 Badminton 13 Football (Women) 19 Lacrosse 27 Maes Glas 6 Caving 14 Golf 20 Netball 28 Tennis 7 Judo 21 Octopush 29 Volleyball
Outside the SU
COVERED PATH 1 Canoe Club Amser/Time 2 Mountain Walking Curv 3 Rowing ed L o 4 Wu Shu Kwan u n Covered Path g (Chinese Kickboxing) e 5 Skiing 6 Sub Aqua Students’ Union 7 Surf Club The Circle
A 8 Windsurfing r c 9 BUMS (Climbing) h 10 BUGS
UNDER CURVED LOUNGE 1 Pier tourist information 7 BEDS UNDER MEMORIAL ARCH 2 Dimensions/Dru Yoga 8 Cinema Club 1 Revelation 3 Wargames and 9 Entertainment Committee 2 BASTARDS (Archeology Society) Role Playing Society 4 Trampolining Club THE CIRCLE 5 Sailing Club 1 Sailing Club 6 Brownies & Guides 2 Debating Society 4 ADVERTISMENT Bangor City FC CONGRATULATIONS, YOU’VE chosen Bangor. Possibly the best-value University city in the UK. Probably the most attractive study location in the UK. Denitely the city with the best team in the domestic Welsh football scene. Playing in the National League of Wales for the last ten years, Bangor City FC has been the best performing North Wales team over that period–having won the League Championship twice and the Welsh Cup twice. Bangor has also carried the League of Wales banner into Europe on four occasions–travelling to Poland, Iceland, Sweden and, most recently, just a few weeks ago, to Yugoslavia in the UEFA Cup, where they were unlucky to go down to the odd goal in three against crack First FARRAR ROAD: the statium that Bangor City FC call home Division outt FC Sartid Smederevo. Last season, Bangor nished third in Come and join the famous Blue Next home fixtures: the League of Wales and reached the Army at Farrar Road, and nd out what • 17th September nal of the Welsh Cup, losing 4–1 to Saturday afternoons were made for— ABERYSTWYTH Barry Town. Throughout the season, “We are Bangor Aye-Oh-Aye!” • 21st September the Club played attractive, attacking Cut out the Bangor City advert in this WELSHPOOL TOWN football, nishing the campaign as top issue of Seren, hand it in at the gate • 24th September League scorers. Playing a major role and get in for just £1.00! (valid for any TNS (FAW PREMIER CUP) was Marc Lloyd Williams (now with BCFC xture at Farrar Road) • 5th October Southport) who created records left, Keep up to date with the Blues by OSWESTRY TOWN right and centre, shooting (and heading) visiting www.citizens-choice.co.uk on sight to claim 47 League goals, # challenging for the European Golden Boot award and gaining the Club publicity on Sky Sports, as well as in BANGOR CITY FC The Guardian and The Sun. Under the management of former SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL TEAM Nott’s Forest and Manchester United forward Peter Davenport, Bangor aims NEXT HOME FIXTURES to add some trophies to the praise won last season. Players to watch out for 17 SEPT - ABERYSTWYTH include former Manchester United and Wales stars Clayton Blackmore and 21 SEPT - WELSHPOOL TOWN Simon Davies, youngster Owain Jones 24 SEPT - TNS (FAW PREMIER CUP) (recently capped for Wales at U–19 level), and exciting forwards Paul 5 OCT - OSWESTRY TOWN Roberts and Kenny Burgess. The Club has the reputation of having Tel: 01248 718253/355852 the best fans in the League of Wales–and certainly the gures bear this out. More www.citizens-choice.co.uk attend matches involving Bangor than any other team. Local derbies against teams like Caernarfon, as well as matches against HAND THIS ADVERT IN AT THE GATE AND GET IN FOR JUST £1.00! top teams from South Wales, such as Barry (vaild for any Bangor City game at Farrar Road) and Cwmbran, can attract over 1000 fans. 9 CULTURE The show must go on... Theatre in Bangor for the next term and beyond BORED OF going to the pub already? show, Mister Cinders, a gender twist on members of both the performance and Sick of karaoke? Well here are some the classic Cinderella story. Both Rostra technical / backstage variety. culturally pleasing alternatives in the and Soda look forward to welcoming new A third theatre group, BEDS also exists form of theatre groups and productions in Bangor and provides students with in Bangor. Bangor University’s oldest an opportunity to be involved with the and longest running theatre group, physical and ‘arthouse’ side of theatre. Rostra will this year be diversifying The group have recently returned from further following their second a hugely successful tour of Germany and successful run at the Edinburgh Fringe can be seen this October in a version of Festival. A chance to see their self- Dennis Potter’s Blue Remembered Hills, a written Fringe hit, Greenlit a witty World War Two drama exploring the loss Hollywood satire, will occur 8.30pm, of childhood. Tuesday 1st October in Jock’s Bar. Their For a more sedentary approach to new productions this semester include fulfilling your cultural needs, as well as an adaptation of Billy Wilder’s classic watching the productions by the above Some Like It Hot and the possibility of groups, it’s worth keeping in mind that a touring sketch show. Further details the Theatr Gwynedd stages a diverse can be found at www.geocities.com/ range of (English and Welsh) productions uwb_rostra or at Serendipity. all year round along with Welsh and If singing and dancing’s your bag, then Hollywood movies. This semester expect you could do a lot worse than Soda. to see films such as Minority Report Fresh off the back of Guys and Dolls, the and Pollock and productions including Soda-ites offer another fun-packed year Shakespeare School’s Drama Festival and IF ONLY: the proposed refurbishment of starting with a self-written musical, a Two Victorian Tales. JP Hall is laughed out of town. variety show at Christmas and their main –James Dawson TIME CLUB LISTINGS The most popular Nightclub in North Wales, for gigs and nights out with friends!
• Tues 24th Sept 8pm • Sat 5th Oct 8pm Pep LePew (UMCB) £5/£6 Bryn Fon £5 +Gwenno • Wed 25th Sept 8pm The Jeevas £6 • Wed 9th Oct 8pm (Crispian Mills x-kula shaker) Mr Scruff £7 +The loves + Black Swan Trouser Jazz Tour
• Fri 27th Sept 8pm • Thurs 10th Oct 7pm Timmy Mallet £5 Idlewild £10 + School disco • Sat 19th Oct 8pm • Tues 1st Oct 7.30Pm Jah shaka crew £10/£8 NUS Mr Methane/ Regurgitator £5 Live:Barry Brown +prince ronnie Universtiy of Roots Tour
• Wed 2nd Oct 8pm ALSO: Don’t forget, DJ Cashmoney (USA) £5 60s, 70s, 80s Every Monday, Free Entry Rated Worldwide as the Greatest Hip Hop DJ! Jukebox Every Friday
8 YOUR GUIDE TO THE FRESHERS’ FAYRE 25th & 26th Sept
Time nightclub * Wednesday only Way In 1 Wales & Border trains 2 Officer Training Corps 3 Security 4 UMCB & Y Ddraenen 5 CYD (Welsh Learners Club) 4040 6 Christians in Sport 2222 3939 7 Christian Union 23 3030 23 3838 8 Krypton Clothing 24 9 Beer & Ale Society 24 3737 1 21 20 19 18 17 10 Family Planning 2525 1 21 20 19 18 17 11 Bodnant Surgery 22 1616 3636 12 SODA 2626 33 1515 4 3535 13 NUS Wales 4 1414 2727 14 Catholic Society 55 1313 3434 15 Concert Band 66 1212 3333 16 Bangor Islamic Society 77 88 99 1010 1111 28 17 Investment Club 28 2929 18 Rostra 3131 3232 19 Music Society 20 Film Society 21 People & Planet 22 Bangor Forest Garden 23 Photographic Society 24 Topshop/Topman* 25 National Blood Service 26 Barclays 27 Liberal Democrats* 28 Chess Club 33 Plaid Cymru 38 Bangor Chronicle 29 Vanguard 34 Co-operative Group 39 Stage Crew 30 Phones 4 U 35 Surfliners 40 Cafe Society Clothing Co. 31 Natwest 36 Snowdon Gliders 32 Endsleigh Insurance 37 Headporter
Ground Floor & Basement AU Cards
JOCK’S BAR 4 Arthritis Research Campaign To get your AU card, bring £10 to the SU 1 Duke of Edinburgh reception during Serendipity, or you can visit 2 Endeavour Society CURVED LOUNGE the AU office on the second floor of the SU. 3 Japanese Society 1 Student Advice & Representation You must become a member of the AU 4 Hellenic Society Centre before you can join any University sports 5 Philosophy Club 2 Student Volunteering Bangor club and participate in the Athletic Union 6 Speculative Analysis 3 Women’s Group activies, i.e. attending training sessions, 7 Storm FM 4 Rag playing in matches etc. 8 Trash Society 5 Lesbian, Gay & Bisexual Society The card also gives you big discounts 9 Travel Society 6 Nightline the AU’s sponsors retail outlet Go For It! 7 Seren Sports (opposite Lunn Polly on the High COMMITTEE ROOM Street) as well as a number of other sport- 1 Oxfam SU RECEPTION orientated outlets. 2 United Nations Association* AU Cards Being a member of the AU gives 3 Bangor & Anglesey Peace & you automatic insurance cover under the Justice Group (Thursday Only) BUSA/Endsleigh Gold Policy which is tailor made for student sport. 5 MOVIES Signs: A Corny Ending
THE BEST horror movies know when to keep the frights deep in the shadows and when to let them tiptoe out and wet willy the protagonists. In horror, less is more –the perfect example being the gulf between The Haunting (1963) and The Haunting (1999): the former never shows a single ghost, relying upon sound, performances and direction to scare; the latter has swinging decapitating booby traps, a hilarious CGI baddie ghost, and Mrs Michael Douglas as a crap lesbian. M. Night Shyamalan’s Signs falls between these two extremes. It bravely hides its threats for most of the running time, but daftly squanders its suspense on the home stretch. It’s as if a masturbating teenager had slowly and marvellously built himself up in the ball gown section of his mum’s catalogue only to blow his load on the kinky nude midget centrefold, with onlookers left ME CUT GRASS GOOD: Mel has a brand new combine harvestor. disappointed at his lack of staying power. Mel Gibson is an ex-priest living with clever pacing in the suspense scenes allows contains a number of musical and thematic his spooky kids and his cleft lipped bro some lovely jumpy shocks (a simple doggy references to Hitch). Comedy amongst the (played by cleft lipped Joaquin Phoenix) on bark was enough to jitter this journalist); screams is handled well–creating a cosiness a farm which is beset by unexplainable corn whilst his potentially gimmicky scene lit by that nicely underscores the suspense, whilst circles. Is it a hoax? Or... aliens? tourchlight down in the cellar is pulled off performances, particularly by Gibson and Shyamalan once again proves himself to in a manner Shyamalan’s obvious idol Mr the kids, are surprisingly good, with Mel be a talented manipulator of the audience. His Hitchcock would have been proud of (Signs particularly impressive when chit-chatting about lost faith with Phoenix. The most impressive thing about Signs The Sweetest Thing is the manner in which it takes generic cliches of various 50/60s B-movies and attempts to THIS MOVIE is the bastard love reinvent them through the director’s dark child of Sex And The City and vision. George A. Romero’s Living Dead trilogy Spiceworld: The Movie. One minute is cleverly mirrored throughout the film– the film offers apparently solid modern from the boarding up of the house, to the female philosophy, the next you find treatment of the television and radio as the yourself aghast at a musical number only links to the outside world. This low celebrating the male love tool to the key take on the modern sci-fi/horror genre tune of “I’m Too Sexy”. grounds the drama in a pitch perfect family The film revolves around the setting where we care for and rarely leave the whimsical behaviour of the hugely company of all involved. likeable three female leads, Christina After such a gleefully suspenseful, (Cameron Diaz), Courtney (Christina well handled first eighty minutes, it’s a Applegate) and Jane (Selma Blair). crying shame that the ending sells out so That is about it. There is no actual much. The unnecessary CGI adversary and plot, more a collection of eclectic set the trite spiritual finale destroy almost pieces; some girly, some gross-out everything the film has previously strived (Ms Blair receiving the lion’s share of to keep pure. All subtlety is lost. dick/cum jokes) and some just plain It’s a shame, as previously, the closest weird (“There’s always time for a movie the film got to ejaculation was the superbly montage” announces Christina). The handled Brazilian news footage. In fact, naked flesh of Diaz and Applegate is the whole thing would go down as a also a key feature of the picture. sci-fi/horror great if it wasn’t for the Boys will probably not enjoy this film, cuteness of the conclusion. News Week but for the girls (and gay men), The recently proclaimed Shyamalan to be ‘the Sweetest Thing will provide an evening of DIAZ SAYS: James Dawson is too big next Steven Spielberg.’ Well, he should be likeable popcorn nonsense. HHHII to fit in here. Too big to fit in there. careful not to pick up Stevie’s bad habits as well as good. HHHHI 6 MUSIC
kid should love - the reverb and echo the Long Road and Walk it’ are the stuff ALBUM REVIEW saturated guitars of ‘space-rock’; the tight, indie night anthems are made of, and when vibrant drumming of ‘baggy’ (Reni would they slow down the pace The Music have The Music be proud); the pasty wailings of a skinny, no need for piano-based balladry, instead The Music (Hut recordings) northern, white boy and, of course, the following the more ambient path of guitar tunes. Singles like ‘The People’ and ‘Take loops and loose grooves with tracks like IF THE lamentable (and inevitable) final ‘Human’ and the massive intro to ‘Getaway’. implosion of The Verve in 1998 left a hole Careful though, these quiet moments don’t in your life then you have to check out The last long before furious riffing comes back Music. These Leeds boys are among those to the fore. spearheading a new wave of psychedelic This is a seriously good album. Buy this rock and have been a band to watch out if you liked the early work of Ashcroft and for since the NME included a six-minute his boys. Buy this if you long for the days of instrumental of theirs on a cover disc the Stone Roses before Squire disappeared back in 2001. The much anticipated debut up his own arse. Buy this if you’re sick of album contains everything a good indie Slipknot. Just buy it. HHHHH
ALBUM REVIEW A Rush of Blood to the Head Coldplay (Parlophone)
THE COLDPLAY lads finally deliver the follow up to Parachutes, arguably one of the biggest records of 2000, with A Rush of Blood to the Head. So how does it compare? Well, the soaring melodies, ALBUM REVIEW ALBUM REVIEW anguished vocals and incredibly radio- friendly attitude are all present and correct. Angels With The Remote Part In fact, Chris Martin’s vocals are so instantly Idlewild (Parlophone) recognisable that they really don’t need Dirty Faces to bother putting the band’s name on Sugababes (Virgin) ALONG WITH a tour that visits humble the cover at all. The album opens with little Bangor (yes!), Idlewild return with the fantastically pounding ‘Politik’ before KEISHA, HEIDI and Mutya return with another album. Their desperate attempts to easing into the single ‘In My Place’. And their follow up to 2000’s One Touch (which be either one of the truly successful or one it’s still a beautiful song, regardless of how was “all over the place” according to Keisha). of the widely acclaimed bands of the early often it’s been played on the radio or MTV. The departure of the ginger one and move to twenty-first century become all the more Next up, ‘God Put A Smile Upon Your Face’, a new record label have done the girls a world transparent seeing as The Remote Part is not another stand-out track. Then the album of good as they present here a well rounded a huge leap forward for them as musicians starts to go off the boil. It’s back into collection of edgy pop songs. or us as listeners. That’s not to dismiss the familiar Coldplay territory - piano ballads The group have shunned the usual pop ‘Wilds. They still sound like The Smiths, and acoustic sing-alongs. Not that it’s a conventions (two fast, two slow, rest filler) to had Johnny Marr gotten a bit bored of the bad thing. Coldplay have made a career actually write the majority of the songs, which jangly jangly and realised what fun could be out of it, are not about to change and, are themselves hard to classify. Singles ‘Freak had from cranking up a Marshall stack, and at the end of the day, at least they’re not Like Me’ and ‘Round, Round’ are probably that’s fine. And let’s not forget that they’ll fucking Travis. The beautiful ‘Warning Sign’ the fluffiest tracks, while the rest of the be playing here in Bangor! The single ‘You and the rocking (no, really) ‘A Whisper’ collection dips into dance, R’n’B, reggae and held the world in your arms’, with its lush would’ve been the way to end an album. soul influences without ever becoming any string section, shows Idlewild at their best. Unfortunately, they don’t end the album. one thing in particular. The girls make up for Unfortunatly, the rest of the album doesn’t The last two songs, the eponymous ‘Rush a lack in years with an abundance of maturity: quite live up to its promise. It’s a good of Blood…’ and ‘Amsterdam’, feel flimsy they sing about love and sex in an adult way, album, stuffed with the energetic, bouncy and weak especially when compared to while conceding they might not be experts guitar-based indie that we know and love ‘Demons’ on Parachutes. Oh dear. themselves. (Disturbing jailbait S Club Juniors but it won’t be the classic it wants to be and Still a great album, but one that take note). that is it’s only failing. disappointingly leaves a slight haze of Seriously, this may be the best pop All this aside, I heartily recommend ‘could’ve been amazing’. Perhaps album since Spice. I detract a mark for EVERYONE go and see them when they expectations were too high. Maybe they duff rapping on ‘More Than A Million Miles’ play live at Time on the 10th of October. It’s weren’t high enough. They miss out on five and a totally unnecessary remix of ‘Round, guaranteed to be a good gig. HHHII stars; they’ll have to settle for HHHHI Round’. HHHHI —James Dawson 7 Words: Ian Fallon Pictures: Chris Woodward
...LIKE TERRORISTS ON A U.S. SO INNOCENT, SO NAIVE. JUST LOOK AT ‘EM, RON... SO ABOUT TO BE FUCKED LANDMARK. BY THE BIG BAD WORLD.
GUYS, LEAVE ‘EM ALONE.
REMEMBER WHAT WE WERE LIKE WHEN WE WE WERE DICKS! THANK CHRIST ARRIVED? WHAT WAS WITH YOUR HAIR, ALEX? FOR ANDY!
SHUT UP! POINT IS, WE DIDN’T KNOW BETTER.
...WAS WHEN I WOKE UP, WE’VE A DUTY TO SEE IT’S OUR NAKED, IN BOSTON... STUDENTS SETTLE INTO SACRED DUTY. UNIVERSITY LIFE.
AGREED. YOU’RE RIGHT. ...
LET’S MESS WITH THESE FRESHERS’ HEADS ‘TIL THEY’RE CRYING & WANNA GO HOME.