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Volume 130, Number 31 tech.mit.edu Friday, August 27, 2010 Court decision may be fatal for stem cell research Several MIT labs may be harmed as the ban will also affect stem cell lines from the Bush era

By John A. Hawkinson appears to prohibit fed- Obama administration as of 2009. ress back.” Langer works with human embry- News Editor INSIDE eral dollars from funding National Institutes of Health Director Fran- onic stem cells approved under the Bush ad- Young says why research with any human cis S. Collins said on Tuesday that the NIH be- ministration. Stem cell research at MIT and throughout people study embryonic stem cells. The lieves “grantees that already have awards from Biology professor Richard A. Young said the country seems sure to be strongly impact- ban would cover the lim- NIH are permitted to continue their research, “there is a huge cost today to being in an en- stem cells, p. 18 ed by a federal court ruling Monday prohibit- ited number of human and need not stop in place.” Grant renewals vironment where we’re deciding to shut down ing the use of federal funds to support human embryonic stem cell lines available under and grants currently in the pipeline will be experiments. These experiments are involved embryonic stem cell research. President George W. Bush’s policies that suspended, however, Collins said. in understanding the fundamentals in human While the precise meaning of Monday’s took effect on August 9, 2001, as well as the Institute Professor Robert S. Langer ScD ’74 preliminary injunction is not fully clear, it additional stem cell lines allowed under the said “I think its disappointing — it sets prog- Stem cells, Page 18 Dr. Who materializes above Lobby 7 Burst pipe floods parking lot Waters gushing from below crack open asphalt, reach 1.5 ft By Elijah L. Mena Staff Reporter

In a freak accident last night, the ground split open and the water started gushing out in the parking lot between Buildings 1, 3 and 5. The water flooded the lot as well as the only exit, trapping several cars and SUVs. Many labs and offices nearby were also flooded. The flooding started around 6:15 last night, when an underground water running through the center of the parking lot burst and elijah l. mena—The Tech the escaping water ruptured the A car sloshes through the underpass at the intersection of Buildings asphalt above. By 7 p.m. the lot was 7 and 3, where the flooding on Thursday evening was worst. Gushing entirely underwater, even though out of a burst pipe underground, the water was nearly 1.5 feet deep. it is equipped with four drains. Workers weren’t able to shut off was filled by several feet of water. cided not to take the chance One the line until several hours later, The flooding was worst at the woman asked a facilities worker and the water did not drain out of underpass between Buildings 7 move her SUV to the far side of the the parking lot until 9:45 p.m. and 3, where the depth reached 17 parking lot, where the water was Buildings 3, 10, and 11 were inches. There the water lapped at only a few inches high. The MIT flooded, and several labs and of- the knees of several wading facili- policeman at the scene advised fices needed to be vacuumed and ties worker. her to take a taxi home rather than cleaned. Buildings 5 and 7, which That underpass is also only way to drive out of the parking lot. were west of the parking lot, were out for the vehicles in the parking One man in his SUV sent water not as affected as buildings to the lot. Many people drove through east. At Building 10 the elevator pit the water to leave, but some de- Flood, Page 18 NW30/W59 may get In Short OpenCourseWare has been selected by Time Magazine as Eric D. schmiedl—The Tech real railroad crossing one of the top 50 websites of On Wednesday, “Doctor Who”-loving hackers installed an illumi- 2010. http://ocw.mit.edu nated police box on the roof of Building 7 along (overlooking Mass Ave) with a banner reading “The Doctor: 1 / Harvard: 0.” On the Brit- By Joanna Kao and NW21 (Plasma Science and Construction in the Infinite ish sci-fi show, the blue box is actually a disguised time machine, the Staff Reporter Fusion Center) and make a pedes- Corridor is scheduled to be TARDIS. trian path across the railroad tracks, completed by next week Friday. For students living in New Ash- which are known as the Grand Junc- down and Sidney-Pacific, a com- tion. The footpath will continue Freshman are arriving (and mon (if risky) route to class takes through the parking lot to the east of getting lost) on campus. Wel- them across the railroad tracks, W59. W59 currently houses ROTC, come Freshmen! Call your popping out on Vassar Street park- as well as offices of Housing, Cam- mother (upperclassmen too)! New cameras at Z-Center ing lot near the West Garage and pus Dining, and Residential Life. Video surveillance setup upgraded this summer Steinbrenner Stadium. MIT has for “Pending final approval of the Lori Berenson’s parole was re- years considered building a formal project by the [Commonwealth], the voked in Peru this month. p. 16. By Yuliya Preger the Student Center (currently closed foot crossing there, and those plans project could be completed by spring Staff Reporter for the summer). may finally be solidifying. of next year or sooner,” Combs said. Anna Tang has a status update • The entrances and exits on Vassar “We have been in discussion The Massachusetts Bay Com- in court date today, p.17. Working out? Someone might be Street. with the [Commonwealth of Mas- muter Rail “will oversee the con- watching you. • The entrances to the men’s and sachusetts], primarily with the struction of the railroad crossing. Aafia Siddiqui ’95 appeared in The video cameras at the Zesiger women’s locker rooms in the du- MBTA and their commuter rail op- MIT will oversee the pedestrian an Afghan Police arrest report Center and duPont Athletic Center Pont gymnasium erator the Massachusetts Bay Com- improvements on MIT property,” released by WikiLeaks. p. 16 have been replaced this summer • Court 3 in duPont (the gymnastics muter Rail,” said Jennifer E. Combs, said Combs. with newer models. The Tech had not room) a project manager from Facilities, Communication between MIT Send news information and previously known of these cameras. The cameras are nothing new; all in an e-mail. and the Massachusetts Bay Com- tips to [email protected]. The cameras are at: The plan is to improve the alley • The DuPont entrance northwest of DAPER cameras, Page 17 between NW30 (the Warehouse) Railroad crossing, Page 17

Hey Freshmen! Eat, Pray, Love, Whatever Avedon: From Still Meet your New SECTIONS What will you do after Watching Julia Roberts enlightenment LIfe to LIfestyle Home Team World & Nation ��2 Opinion ��4 the orientation buzz journey. ARTS, p. 13 Richard Avedon did more Welcome to Beantown. wears off? Columnists Arts ��14 than take photos of If you want to be a local, Fun Pages �� 17 Ryan Normandin and Peering into Hitler’s Mind fashionable outfits — he you’ve got to learn the Sports ��19 Nina Sinatra have tips for A daring one-man play imagines Hitler’s changed how fashion looked sports teams. (Go Red your first year. OPN, p. 4 last moments. ARTS, p. 13 at women. ARTS, p. 14 Sox!) SPO, p. 19 nation world & nation world & nation world & nation Wo r l d & Na t i o n worlD 2 The Tech move to cut theirranks ofPentagon Generals wary rare satellite-basedapproach American Airlines flight makes fees ordered to some justify Lawyers for9/11 workers are serves 40years to theirfullpay. equal apension serves benefit of the military pension system, which gives everybody who ington.Like all officers and enlisted personnel, generals have the gic and Budgetary Assessments, a private research group in Wash - decadeago,a according Toddto Harrisonat Centerthe Stratefor - 11 attacks, out theground to carry wars inIraq andAfghanistan. Sept. the since grown have Corps Marine and Army the though even 1985, in million 2.2 from million 1.5 some to declined has 11, 2001. Meanwhile, the overall number of active duty personnel admirals leading the armed forces, about 100 more than on Sept. nior officers toastheircommands. pad theirlifestyles aswell back against a culture of entitlement that had allowed some - se “cumbersome andtop-heavy proportions.” to creep,”swelling “brass significant experienced had that cy bureaucra- a flatten to wanted he said Gates number. a than cut more.they if happier be would he that clear made and positions 50 least at cut to staff his ordered He admirals. and generals of corps that,things,other amongmilitary’s atthe takesaim sacrosanct ert M. Gates announced a sweeping effort to improve efficiency ed inDallas.ed originat flight,which celebratethe to terminal gatheredthe at at least according to thepilot. occasion, momentous a was it afternoon, Thursday on Conn., based approach to Bradley International Airport near Hartford, at airports. land to equipment radar and radio on ground-based relyantiquated still must often States United the in years. pilots for airline aroundBut been have go, to want they where to them direct important,more and, are they whereprecisely know ers andcompensatedmoney like illnesses less cancer. forsome enough them give not did said plaintiffs many that settlement a for clientsfrom criticism faced plaintiffs,already 10,000 than as case-related costs. $400,000 for publicists, lobbyists and legal and medical experts toinflate by fees its inappropriately charging clients more than trying is co-counsel Cannavo,its thatMcGrath& Block alleges Papain Sullivan firm, That workers. representing firm law ing lead- other the by overchargingmade of accusations to spond in million thatlegal expenses are they charging theirclients. $6.1 justify to Friday hearing a to Ripka, Bern poli Na- and Edelman WorbyGroner firms, two of partnership law inanewrole: incourt pearing defending themselves. ap- be will issues health over city the sued who workers zero The salary cap for generals is about $180,000, up from $130,000 and generals 963 now are there Pentagon, the to According push to wanted Gates said, officials Pentagon that, Beyond more at aimed were measures the said officials Pentagon Rob- Secretary Defense ago, weeks Two WASHINGTON— High pressure incontrol Weather “This is really good stuff,” Capt. Brian Will told a small group satellite- a followed 1916 Flight Airlines American when So travel- let that devices system positioning global Portable more the of 9,400 about represents which firm, Napoli The re- to court federal in back due are lawyers the week, Next the summoned has cases the overseeing judge federal The NEW YORK — The lawyers representing most of the ground sudden warm-up through this ern U.S. northeast the across weather the dominates pressure high of area large a as days next several the for skies sunny see should England New rainfall! —Ginger Thompson—Ginger and ThomShanker, TheNew York Times T Monday: MostlySunny. Highsinthe lower90s. Sunday: Sunny. Highnear90°F(32°C). Lightwinds. T T T Extended Forecast uesday: MostlySunny. Highsinthe lower90s. 5–10 at wind West (28°C). 83°F High Sunny. omorrow: onight: Clear. Low 58°F(14°C). West windat5–10 mph. 10 at wind Northwest (27°C). 80°F High Sunny. oday: xet ih wns n a and winds light Expect about worry to need No mph. mph. By RomanKowch STAFF Me t steorologi —Christine Negroni,—Christine TheNew York Times —Mireya Navarro, TheNew York Times - late next week. by bit a down cool will tures tempera- the Hopefully ing! arriv for class freshman new the is welcome warm This a surely 90s. the approach highs as week next early ing dur wave heat a experience increase dramatically by Sunday. and today, 80 near reach should Highs weekend. n at Nw nln may England New fact, In - - - firehouses in budget crisis inbudget firehouses Struggling shutdown cities lost initsfloodwaters Much ofPakistan’s progress is second alarm. second a to fire goes a time each partments de- neighboring from help on rely to city the forcing firehouses, six its of half down shut and firefighters off laid has Boston, of north Mass., Lawrence, And month. last fighters every units fire- 49 off laid Calif.,Jose, San day. some shut now that Sacramento to Baltimore from ies cit joining month, this brownouts and otheremergencies. fires to responses their slowing are that cuts deep make to towns and cities manyforces downturn nomic - eco the as daysdifferent on panies com- fire different shut they which in brownouts” “rolling to resorting increasingly and firehouses closing jobs, cutting are nation the around re- U.S. from Pakistanfor quests battleto Taliban distract to certain the burdens on its Itmilitary. seems feeble to add and its administration; civilian weaken de- further not cades; if years, many back stan and communications. electricity clinics, health schools, bridges, roads, — together country this knit that strand physical every about just ruined had calamity ural nat nation’s worst the that spaired de- they property, and people save to scrambled officials relief tional to save it. is task the overwhelming how and remains, infrastructure Pakistan’s fragile how of show demoralizing a levy, the breached waters the day, Thurs On vaintown. their save to effort ultimately and rudimentary a was It floodwaters. surging stan’s Paki- back hold to embankment intoan hands bare wedging their week with stones all deep waist ed ie hes n uin officials union and chiefs Fire rolling began Philadelphia SAN DIEGO — Fire departments Paki- set could destruction The interna- and Pakistani as Even wad- Men — Pakistan SUKKUR, By Michael Cooper By Carlotta Gall The New York Ti York New The Ti York New The

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a pm 3:30 1 – – More than two years after the Food and Drug Administration began Administration Drug and Food the after years two than More - prod the withdraw to decision the made had it that said DePuy Scientists working with NASA’s Kepler satellite reported Thurs Scientists working with NASA’s The news compounded problems for Johnson & Johnson, The foreclosure crisis might have finally peaked in the first half of half first in the peaked finally have might crisis foreclosure The of process the in loans of number the 2006, since time first the For The problem is no longer high-interest subprime loans, many Mortgages that are in serious default, which means at least 90 - plan a is candidate this confirming of process the in still “We’re This is the of first planet a announcement Earth-size candidate c | web.mit.edu/gordonelp | [email protected] | web.mit.edu/gordonelp 1 receiving complaints about the failure of a hip replacement implant implant of a the failure about hip replacement complaints receiving com- the Johnson, & Johnson of unit Orthopaedics DePuy the by made two of hip implants. kinds recalling it was that Thursday said pany af replacement secondhip a required patients many because ucts ter the company’s implants had failed. had implants the company’s ter best- and best-selling its of some of succession a recalled has which known products, including Tylenol liquid in children’s the United States and, just this week, 1-Day Acuvue TruEye contact lenses in and Europe. in Asia and other countries Japan this year, but with the continued weakness in the this economy and year, - the re fleeting. prove may the gains market, the housing of deterioration cent Association Bankers Mortgage the quarter, second the in fell foreclosure of delinquency Some also other measures dropped. Thursday. said criticalThe area of out the system. their way worked of which have now is prime loans, where defaults are driven by stubbornly high unemployment. days past due, fell to 9.11 percent of all loans from 9.54 percent in said. association the banking quarter, the first Kepler telescopeKepler possible finds Earth-size planet recalled are implants by Hip unit & Johnson Johnson Home foreclosures drop, but drop, foreclosures Home delinquency of risk deepens day day that they might have spotted a planet just 1.5 times the - diam away. 2,000 light-years star a Sun-like of Eartheter around said Matthew Holman, of the Center Harvard-Smithsonian et,” for Astrophysics, at a NASA-sponsored news conference Holman is Thursday. the lead author of an article describing the discoveries Science on its website. published the journal that by the Kepler life. mission, harbor might just which that ours in like planets for March search to 2009 spacecraft launched a one-ton

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year onward! your sophomore eer from and another producer, Hillandale Farms, have come under opened has a fault line in - re central Iowa, those who detest enormous, indus trial-size farms and say the risk of a widespread salmonella outbreak is one more reason to fear them; on those who see the such farmother, - ing as the economic savior of these wide open spaces. lion dozen eggs a Over the years, many week here have ob- in Iowa. jected to the growing operations of DeCoster. J. Austin said. held a teleconference on Wednes day afternoon with five NASA specialists, among them doctors who put astronauts through tests simulate the that grueling isolation of a Mars. to voyage minister, said he had urged NASA to send a team to we are doing “monitor here” and announced what Thursday that three or four NASA specialists would arrive next week to assist in medical officials Chile with the miners. miners survived on tiny bites emergency of rations and have an lost average of about each. 20 pounds ograms can help you jump-start your - Thursday undergraduate bernard your peers how these Discover from two powerhouse engineering leadership pr car Thursday $5 in Dunkin’ Donuts coupons to the first 40 House! to bring this ad to the Open freshmen Federal Federal authorities announced The authorities said nearly No fewer than seven government government seven than fewer No With his popularity already - slip ease in 1973. aloud. Thursday that they had found - sam ples of salmonella strain of matching the recent outbreak in the the feed and barns of Wright facilities. the DeCosters’ Egg, County 1,500 illnesses since May might be tied to tainted eggs, making this the largest outbreak with this associated type of bacteria, known as Salmonella enteritidis, the since federal closely government tracking began foodborne dis done to maintain the psychological health of the miners over the weeks or months they may remain nearly half a mile underground, officials will carefully control what they are exposed to, down to the messages they receive from their families or the kind of movies that of the mine. on the wall projected might be ministers roam the makeshift camp outside the mine here Desert, the mention not to Atacama in Chile’s countless politicians, donors millionaire and observers who almost outnumber the family in tents. camping members ping, President Sebastian has staked Pinera his nascent presidency on rescuing the miners, analysts - -

Free lunch Free Free snacks Free gift! Free House Open Freshman Explorations

Freshmen! The New York Times

The New York Times Jump-start lexei Barrionuevo Alexei By Monica Davey By

But But like everything else being CLARION, Iowa — The conver One woman suggested that the Chile Chile is sparing no expense or SAN SAN JOSE MINE, Chile — The

any troubles ought not be discussed be not ought troubles any that runs it, sternly announcing that that announcing sternly it, runs that operation operation and the DeCoster family resident resident jumped in to defend the harm than good locally. A second huge huge facilities here, had done more hundreds hundreds of millions of eggs, with company at the focus of the recall of recall the of focus the at company closely watching the ordeal. closely watching tense. turned uncharacteristically the country — and the world — is local ladies at a coffee shop here cave-in cave-in on Aug. 5, fully aware that sation at the weekly gathering of rescue rescue the miners trapped by a attempted attempted innovation in trying to subterranean home. subterranean occupy occupy the 33 miners stuck in their funneled down in plastic tubes to Even Even a tiny home theater is being at at the ready with antidepressants. ing ing in a submarine. Doctors stand discuss the emotional stress of liv Chilean Chilean Navy officers have come to about the extreme isolation of space. space. of isolation extreme the about government government has consulted NASA

of the eggs recall of the eggs Tensions in Iowa town at the heart at town in Iowa Tensions

As miners face long wait, wait, long face miners As

2010 27, August Friday, Chile filters notes and food filters Chile OPINION OPINION OPINION OPINION OPINION OPINION OPINIOn Op i n i o n OPINION OPinION 4 The Tech Gerhardt ’12,Nydia Ruleman ’12. ee 1, ü iln un ’3 Emily ’13, Huang Linlin Nardoni ’13,Jenny Xie’13. Yü ’13, Dere Kathryn ’12, Chen Z. Jeff ’11, Kim K. Sun JoanneY.’10, Kambara Tracy ’11, ’10, Shih ’12; Agarwala G, Bogdan Fedeles G, Joyce Markson Kwan Samuel ’12; Liu Maggie Editor: Spivak Russell ’12, ’13; Zhu David Editors: ’13, Erasmus K.H.J. zu Ermgassen CME. Normandin Ryan ’12, Sinatra Nina YostG, ShuG, Gary David Weinberg G, Keith A. B. Rogers AlejandroV. G, Holly Moeller G, ’12; Editors: Joseph Maurer ’12, Ethan Solomon Swayze. Andrew ’13, Williams Sean P. Logan ’13, ’13, Tang Long X. Sunny ’13, D’Arienzo Elizabeth ’13, Aijazi Arfa ’12, Wu Feng ’12, Rui ’12, Luo ’12, Meng Heng Lin Touch Jessica’12, Aditi Verma ’12, Fong Rachel ’12, Chornay Nicholas ’12, Chen Yuanyu ’11, Florentine ’11, Stephanie Jasmine Lin ’11, Michael Y. ’10, McCanna Yee William ’10, Buczyk Biyeun ’08, Wilcox Angela Martha Segado G, Michael Martin Yu G,G, Petron Scott Johnston Schumacher ’03, Arthur Renée Melissa G, G, Ovadya Aviv G, Hung ’13; Range Sam ’13; VibinEditors: Kundukulam ’11, Jessica Liu Dahan ’12. ’11, Robin L. ’12; Hsiang ’13; Kao Joanna ’13, Chhabra ’13; Aislyn Schalck ’13, Kirschbaum Connor Editors: Agard ’11,Roman Kowch ’12. Vince ’13; G, Wing A. Srinivasan Allison Meteorologists: Divya ’13, Preger ’13, Yuliya Lee E. Joy ’13, Cunniff Baek Margaret Jiyeon ’13, Danielle ’12, Hao ’11, Ziwei ’12, Turner Gorman Jordan Elijah ’11, ’13; Lloyd Pourian J. Jessica ’13, Maggie Nelson Meghan ’12, ’12, Fan Ana Jingyun Editors: ’98, Hawkinson ’12; McQueen Robert Lyons’12, A. John Editors: Mass. 02139-7029. Mass. changes to our mailing address: The Tech, P.O.Box 397029, Cambridge, class). (third year per $50.00 are Subscriptions Avenue,02139. Mass.MassachusettsCambridge, 84 January, and monthly during the summer by The Tech, Room W20-483, Wednesdaysvacations), during MIT (except during year academic the The Tech (ISSN 0148-9607) Connor is published on Tuesdays and Fridays during ’13, Kao Kirschbaum Schalck ’13,Aislyn ’13 Joanna Divya ’13, ‘08, Chhabra Templeton M. David Editor: D.B. Colen. WangNickAngeline Semenkovich’09, ’09, MarieY. ThibaultRicardo ’08, Ramirez ’09, ’08, Stephens Omari ’08, McGraw-Herdeg Michael ’07, Ozer Zachary T. ’07, Lukmann Andrew ’06, Vogt Marissa ’06, Sterner W. Beckett ’06, TiffanyDohzen Patil’04, R. Collins SM ’03, Keith J. Winstein ’03, Akshay Nathan ’02, Rubin Jordan ’02, Cholankeril J. Eric Frank ’02, Bersak Ryan Daniel ’98, ’00, Dabek Blumenthal Saul ’93, Kaplan Karen ’91, PhD Richmond D. E. Jonathan Michael ’91, Levinson A. V. Deborah E. ’85, Robert Malchman ’74, ’84, Surman S. Jr. Barry ’83, Schindler,Bove E. Paul Arkajit ’10, Andrea ’11. Dey Witchley ’10, Jessica Mani ’10, Balaji Robles Caroline S. ’10, Satwiksai ’10, Bushak G,Huang Nick Brian Lin G, G, Seshasai Charles Chu G, Austin Hemond Editors: ’12; Senior Malouf Alison Editor: Contributing Brockman ’12. G; Smith Quentin Director: Jennifer Fong ’13. ’11; Yan Sherry ’13; Chin Moya ’11, Thompson Mark Managers: Advertising ’11; Ben Yu ’11, Ciuffo Peters ’11,Michael Benitez ’12. Christine Michael Cartoonists: G, Perez-Franco ’11; Lin T. Michael Editor: and typesetting ratesand available.typesetting Entire contents 258-8226. (617) Facsimile: 258-8324. (617) ed on recycled paper by M by paper onrecycled ed Pho Ar Sp Op Produc St News Produc Advisory Board Edi nol Tech Busin C amp or t in t s t ors a Florence GallezG, Josh Levinger Staff: ion t St p ogra ljh ea ’13, Mena Elijah Editors: Associate iaa Rnd ’9 Lz Tsai Liz ’09, Ranade Vinayak Staff: ao Smsn 1, Michael ’10, Sampson Aaron Staff: us us Life ess ess David M.Templeton ’08 s aff St Greg Steinbrecher ’12 aff t t

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for This St St hone Telep St Monica Gallegos Monica Illustrators: St aff aff aff Jeff Guo ’11 Chairman aff Divya Editors: Associate ass W David Chen G, Perry G,Perry DavidChen Staff: ed Ceg ’13, Cheng Wendy Staff: P eb Printing C os Issue : Manager: Operations Editorial: (617) 253-1541. Business: Business: 253-1541. (617) Editorial: tmas Editor: Associate te r: ompany. A Sudeep Staff: Please send all address all send Please vriig subscription, dvertising, Roberto Roberto Staff: © 2010 The © 2010 The . Tech Greg Staff: Judy Staff: Associate Associate Print - The Cordoba Initiative is apowerful defense against Al Qaeda Build theNYC mosque i Ldn s n bmnto, n he and abomination, of work the to wayopposed an every in stands as Laden Bin Osama denounced publicly has he years, 27 for York City New in imam an been has Rauf today. America in leaders Muslim ate moder most the of one is he whole the on cade (I’ve yet to meet a soul who hasn’t) but of American foreign policy over the past de- criticism mild some given Feisal had Rauf, Abdul Imam leader, Initiative’s Cordoba To sort. the realityof nothing is sure, be the lamic triumphalism. on Is of statement intent a as mosque sources, the building shadowy by organization, funded extremist an was Cordoba Initiative the that notion the on founded taste. or byfashion motivated wereit moresense sault on the proposed mosque would make greater as political however,the the things of scheme In Initiative. Cordoba the by operated be to center cultural and mosque million $100 a for way make to it demolish to intendsEl-Gamal, Sharif building, the of the World Trade Center site, and the owner of north blocks two situated shuttered is warehouse the because but style, Palazzo Italian the areof love a to others due not arms in and up Kyl, Gingrich, doubt No tecture-philia to anunhealthy extreme. that Gingrich and Kyl are taking their archi- me to seems it but man, next the as much to exploit.”mists avictory Isla- militant giving “risk will it that writes Kyl Jon Senator Arizona and civilization,” “encourage will our to challenge their in it Islamists] [radical that claims Gingrich Newt House waythe of Speaker American Former life. of the to blow death a dealt has Society Preservation Landmarks the if talk about thematter,servatives as itseems landmark status. And yet to hear many con- for justification compelling a offer not did simply style, architectural commonplace its with warehouse, the — license liquor a issuing or ticket parking a out handing as routine and mundane as was decision the goes, law municipal partially-damaged as far a As warehouse. now Factory, Burlington a Coat formerly Place, Park to 45–47 status landmark extend to not mously unani - voted Society Preservation marks signatures, will numbers.letters addresses,Unsignedphone and due by 4:30p.m. days two before thedate ofpublication. by sent or are submissions All W20-483. Room 02139-7029, Tech,to mail interdepartmental Mass. The Cambridge, to 397029, addressed Box be P.O. should submissions to copy sent Hard be should and encouraged are submissions Electronic newspaper. the of that necessarily not author,the of opinion the represent and individuals by written choosing to publish theirdisagreement theeditorial. with T. Lukmann. Michael Opinion McGraw-Herdeg, and Advisory Board member Andrew Plotkin, Natasha Editors Editor Joseph Maurer and Ethan Solomon, Contributing Editor Executive Templeton, M. Chairman of consists which Steve Howland, Editor in board, Chief Jeff Guo, Managing Editor David editorial the by written OPINION POLICY Corrections t a bcm cer oee, ht the that however, clear become has It was mosque the to opposition Initial facetious. bit a being I’m course, Of as building crafted classically a enjoy I Land- City York New the 3, August On etr, oun, n cron ms ba te authors’ the bear must cartoons and columns, Letters, , editor the to Letters Dissents are the signed opinions of editorial board members r te fiil pno of opinion official the are Editorials By Keith Yost St aff Col umn is t , and , columns - - - who plays Mal, Cob’s wife. She isMarion Cotillard, notMarie. are cartoons editorial [email protected]. h Tech The A review of the film the of review A the mosque now in. the mosque findsitself that catch-22 absurd the is Such plans. his continue to him allow not should we pure, so engendered not are hasintentions his if and conflict, much that something for push to continue not would he pure, were intentions Rauf’s Imam is if controversy — self-justified the that claim now versy, contro- the manufactured having vatives, conser Religious undeterred. opponents nent ofhisfaith. propo- quintessential the as it celebrates he — America hate not does He Qaeda. 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I nception nception of the MIT orlocal community.of theMIT Tech format or medium now known or later that known. becomes on Once priority. posted be also may cartoons and columns, Letters, higher returned. be given be of property become letters all willsubmitted, letters shorter letters; accepted. be not TO REACHUS found ontheWorld Wide Web at http://tech.mit.edu. to sent be should editor to correction for call that errors about information and coverage, for requests releases, bychief in e-mailingeditor the reach can You person. appropriate the to directed be will to mail send contact, to whom unsure are you If staff. our of member any reach to way easiest The Tech The are opinion articles submitted by members by submitted articles opinion are columns Guest The The Tech makes nocommitment to publish alltheletters received. in the August 4 issue misspelled the name of the actress the of name the misspelled issue 4 August the in ’s Web site and/or printed or published in any other other any in published or printed and/or ’sWebsite ’s telephone number is (617) 253-1541. E-mail is the The Tech The - - mosque mustmosque built. be that The strength. our of basis principals the formed have the forsake peril, of time this in Wecannot, necessity. existential an as but preference, mere of matter a as not for our rights — staggeringly large sacrifices — sacrifices made We and freedom. greater greater towards course a tacking by domestic, and foreign enemies, its stood destructive. self- more nothing imagine can I zations. civili- between war a in tool another just into and rights natural our of safeguard a courts of as purpose its system from away process due and our twist would it als; ide- would cherished most our property sacrificing mean private zoned on worship properly of place a build to ambition success ofthecause offreedom. fromthat eventualthe in optimism an faith drawand — society of broadestsection the of energies the recruit to us allows what is freedom religious and political, economic, We should have faith in this premise — that disposal. our at measure full we its have potential;shall man’s of fraction a with us challenge ever only will enemies Our hate. or tyranny, fear, of strain any over prevail ultimately shall us sustains that freedom of ideology the why and triumph, shall try re- signed to the ash heap now of ourhistory, coun - nations great other those unlike in freedom. of spectrum peoples willing to live together entire the of but gender, or class, or caste, just not enlist from the efforts of a single race, or creed, or to able itself finds society our individual, every of rights the tecting pro- By side. our on fights Initiative Cor doba the that coincidence no is It power. civilization’s our of font the is it elephant; white some not is liberty Our resilient. is it are notmourned. they that ensure will Cordoba them. bury tinction of their very purpose in life. We will death. Cordoba threatens them with the ex biological with terrorists threaten can tary mili- Our books. history the to it banish to completely, it erase to means the us gives riel to keep radical Islam in check. Cordoba mate- and men the us gives system - eco nomic Our prejudice. equal with Qaeda Al of ideas destroysthe and down hunts doba Al Qaeda’s fighters and physical assets, Cor ogy. As our soldiers hunt down and destroy Qaeda’sAl on assault the areleading - ideol . The Tech can be be Techcan The [email protected]. reserves the right to edit or condense condense or edit to right the reserves - with has republic our years, 234 For their and InitiativeCordobaTo the halt This is our strength, it is the reason why, weak; not is society tolerant and free A [email protected] send Please . Ltes o the to Letters [email protected]. ad it and [email protected], Friday, August 27, 2010 The Tech The , and will not not will and , The The - - - OPINION OPINION OPINION OPINION OPINION OPINION OPINIOn OPinion opinion OPINIOn OpiNION - - - The Tech 5 Tech The Now Now that I’ve told you these few things, Take a deep breath. Love your Beaver. The The different groups of friends I’ve My final words of advice: don’t take If you take all of this advice, I can virtu- well change during your first two semesters, semesters, two first your during change well and this is something that you should embrace. Regardless of which high school you have come from, what your interests are, or where you call home, year freshman is not a time to compare yourself with your class mates. Work hard and learn, but take care that you don’t take yourself too seriously. MIT can feel daunting, but try to focus on adjusting to life here and don’t to branch be out, afraid try new time perfect classes, a is Record Pass/No yourselves. and enjoy to experiment with new subjects, UROPs, sports, or activities — and to enjoy college life with the friends that you full meet. Take of it! advantage I know that you will come to find that MIT is an incredible place, filled and professors, with classmates diverse courses, exciting is It and an outstanding extremely research. unique place to learn, live, and work, and you will be exposed to and countless opportunities during choices your time here. them, of advantage take and explore, Enjoy, undoubtedly will MIT at years four your and and enlightening. fulfilling, be exciting, And good luck! body of people from all over the world who world the over all from people of body may entirely different viewpoints have and experiences than you. You again get might the chance to meet so never many dif walks different so people many from ferent of life. gained at MIT has been fantastic. I’ve got one group of friends from my group I met floor, during one Orientation, a few dif ferent friends from schools different other from friends even and groups joined, I’ve in Boston who I’ve met. The more people you know and befriend, the MIT experience will be. richer your on too much. I’ve stressed repeatedly that high school is very You cannot expect different to take than all the MIT. hardest classes and get all A’s while way. comes your every and club that group also joining find and explore to year a is year Freshman out how much you can handle. Join or one two groups and take one or two challenging “flavors” of more classes at the very most. If you find that you can handle the commitments you make and the workload then spare, to time have still and got you’ve You more. do to decision the make can you need don’t you place; this at years four have Many year. freshman your into all it cram to on of taking the mistake made people have way too much first semester and, as a - re sult, digging themselves into a hole second of until semester. get out couldn’t they ally guarantee that you will do more than capable is Everyone excel. will you fine; just of doing the work, it just takes time - man agement, teamwork, and lots of studying. And when you’ve got that down, take advantage of the rich variety of opportunities available to you here. have You four years. of it. the most Make - - - - . . Don’t prolong or try to fix a difficult But But this doesn’t just apply to extracur These methods begin next week with the the with week next begin methods These help to here are structures support These Finally, keep your ambitions in mind if Another sophomore, Russell Cohen, You will only get busier, will get only busier, You so chance this is your tryto things different and find somethingyou enjoy. really and you should definitely use part of your year to pointed do freshman Shannon this. out that after freshman year, you only get busier, so your first year is your chance to you something find and things trydifferent enjoy. really situation!). situation!). A critical and unavoidable fact about your undergraduate experience that, at times, you will is need help. Whether frustrat a after to vent to person a having it’s ing ing day, getting sick and needing to pone an post exam, feeling lost in a class, or be- to choose, major which about ing confused MIT has many, many resources and help to self- you healthy, feel confident, that can decisions. your in assured GRTs the and home call to choose you dorm and housemasters who and adopt upperclassmen, and TAs with continue you. They extend to S^3 (Student Support Services) and the wide variety of guidance - counsel ors and professionals that can give you - aca advice. or personal medical, demic, you situation by yourself. I guarantee that you will find your MIT experience much more if your needs, you rewarding communicate ask others for ideas and advice, and be sure to take advantage of Don’t try go to it alone. all your resources. you like, but don’t hold too tightly to them right now. Your ideas and goals may very riculars! Shannon and many other upper classmen recommend taking of advantage Pass/No Record and ABC/No Record. What this means is that during your - fresh man year, you literally cannot receive a D or an F, at least not that will be in recorded your record or affect your This GPA. is a huge opportunity I that think a - lot of fresh men under-utilize. With No Record, you can try any class you want and explore the many different majors without too much risk. Even if you’ve come in with a strong idea of what you want to major in, it’s still a idea great to take some classes outside of freshman first the be won’t You major. your not is in coming passion your that decide to your passion coming out. Even if you keep your major, you can use freshman year to get a taste for an entirely different field of horizons. your broaden to study had more to say about taking of advantage all MIT has to offer. “Meet other - fresh men. And don’t date seniors,” he added. As I mentioned earlier, the student body is a and major not resource at just MIT, for homework. MIT is an extremely diverse - - This This is another thing that eN FRESHM FOR ADVICE That’s That’s some of my advice, but what do This brings me to a second crucial point point crucial a to me second brings This But But never fear! The key to a successful A critical and and critical A fact aboutunavoidable undergraduateyour at that, is experience times, will you need help. opening opening a book. MIT is not you high will need school; to study, sometimes quite a lot. If you haven’t studied in high school, I would recommend starting right even away, if the classes you’re taking with start easier off material that you are familiar with. Organize your time by ensuring that you set blocks of time aside for each - sub an jecthas exam or setthat a due. problem years previous from sets problem and Tests are some of your best studying tools, and on OCW. found bethey easily can Work in groups. some of you might scoff at, since many of you did not need help in high school. Yet will need to you that change another is this adjust to. The problem sets that are issued are not easy and I when I am say that not virtually everyone exaggerating at MIT works in groups, especially in GIR’s theynot in. majoring are not They high are that school homework assignments that either can finish in class or do in 5 minutes you before the bell rings the day it’s due. But in this case, you need to do more than just set aside what you think is enough time to work on it; oftentimes, there will be - prob lems that you just cannot do. But chances if are, you are in a of group 3-5 people, one of you will know how to do it. Your class mates mates at MIT are pitfall one perhaps so use However, them! resource, your greatest you that answer an down take to is avoid to don’t understand. Make sure that if you’re working with others, you understand ev do. erything groupmates your other ex-frosh have to Shannon say? Taylor stressed Sophomore the importance of taking chances and your stepping comfort zone. outside You hear that phrase a lot, but MIT. it’s You’re going extremely to applicapble find out are at a plethora that of groups and there clubs to join, To To be in prepared your classes, try to keep pace and to make use of advice offered by professors, teaching assistants, and upperclassmen. graduate (GRTs), tutors resident about life at MIT: making use sources. of I’m your not - re talking about desperately trying to Google a p-set problem at 4 a.m. due (although I’m sure the morning it’s that that many of us been have in that particular with obstacles and situations that you may before. encountered not have and, more importantly, fulfilling first year at MIT is to find what works best for you. In a new setting, your friends and classmates will have widely diverse styles of adapting and learning; don’t feel pressured to act or work a certain way based on what you see. - - - - - t t s Columni Staff s Columni Staff By Nina Sinatra By Ryan Normandin By Ryan

In In a feeble attempt to prepare you for I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but At At this point, you’ve settled into your Although Although your freshman year at MIT is It feels a bit strange to write that Septem- that write to strange bit a feels It

Meet new friends, don’t overwork yourself, and embrace your classes. your embrace and yourself, overwork don’t friends, new Meet A freshman’s guide to thriving at MIT to guide A freshman’s

Live a little. Ask for help. And if you’re not having fun, you’re doing it wrong. it doing you’re fun, having not you’re if And help. for Ask little. a Live I Have Truly Found Paradise — now what do I do with it? I do with do what — now Paradise Found Truly I Have you you glided through high school without Study Study and organize your time. Many of gree. great great resource, but it won’t get you a de- may may proceed at a different rate. OCW is a since since some content may differ or the class sWare (OCW) lectures from previous years, years, previous from (OCW) lectures sWare advise against relying on MIT’s Open Cour Open MIT’s on relying against advise that’s that’s what you choose. However, I would online, online, as long as you really do watch it if to to whether you attend the class or watch it in this case, there is really no difference as lectures and put them online later that day; day; that later online them put and lectures tion. Some classes, such as 3.091, record for actually attending lecture and - recita to learn the material online is no substitute substitute no is online material the learn to ing ing class notes from classmates or trying concept might evade your logic. - Borrow to bed at 5 a.m. and woken up at 8 a.m., this a.m., 8 at up woken and a.m. 5 at bed to ous ous to some people, but when gone you’ve Go to class. This might seem rather - obvi during my first year. first during my year. Some of year. this is based on personal ex perience, some on the advice of my class witnessed I that things on some and mates, on how to make the most of your freshman freshman your of most the make to how on what what is coming, I put together some tips it’s not. it’s what MIT is like all of the time. MIT is like what might even be starting to believe that this is this that believe to starting be even might ally ally having a great time. And slowly, you of people, staying up all night, and gener you’re you’re doing meeting an You’re lots FPOP. some “mandatory” Orientation events or something wrong. Maybe you’ve gone to and I guarantee that you will be presented hungry or have paid for food, you’re doing This This is a new and environment, challenging you’re If food. free of lots and lots eaten ably that that you aren’t prepared for your subjects. - prob and semi-unpacked room, temporary you you have difficulty in a class or if you feel your your perspectives. Don’t feel frustrated if — a time to experiment, learn, and develop mind that college life is — above all, perhaps perhaps all, above — is life college that mind completely completely obvious to you now, but keep in for each student. I know this might seem undergraduate undergraduate experience is very different with every other college in the country: The versities, versities, MIT shares one important trait somewhat somewhat different from that of other uni- two, very busy years at the Institvte. Institvte. the very at years busy two, practical practical advice that I’ve accumulated from as such, I’m going to give you ’14ers a of bit ’14ers you to give going I’m as such, case: case: psetting, socializing, studying, explor way, I am officially an upperclassman, and flies when you’re having fun. Or, in our every possible iteration of Either “IHTFP.” site site “first day of buzz Time at classes” MIT. ing campus and city life, and discovering that that I walk down the Infinite to the - requi ber 8 will mark the third annual Wednesday ber 8 Wednesday annual willthe third mark 2010 27, August Friday, 6 The Tech Friday, August 27, 2010 THE DAILY Residence EXploration 2010 Welcome MIT Class of 2014! As you arrive here on campus, I urge you to focus on one thing: exploration! Featured REX The Institute is now your new home for the next four years, so why not check it out? Residential Exploration, or REX, is the perfect opportunity for you to get a taste Events of the independence the Institute fosters. As you’ll see West Side Dorms’ Block Party in the next few pages, there are plenty of events and ac- Date: Saturday August 28 tivities to keep you busy at all hours of the day, so take Time: 7–11 p.m. advantage of them! Location: Macgregor Courtyard and the sidewalk outside of Next, New, and Burton-Conner Most importantly though, approach REX with an Description: Come over to the west side of campus for a fun-filled night! Next, open mind. Get involved in as much as you can! Meet Burton-Conner, Macgregor and New will entertain you with games, food, new exciting people! Ask questions! Truly explore dancing, and much more. See what the west side dorms have to offer! The MIT’s residential life before you make your final de- carnival has started and you are all invited!! cision. Just as a reminder, the Housing Readjustment Housemaster Welcome Brunch Lottery will close at 4 p.m. on Tuesday, August 31st. Date: Sunday August 29 One of the most important choices you make here Time: 12:30–2 p.m. at MIT is deciding where you will reside for your first Location: Each Resident Hall year. Especially in a few weeks when late night prob- Description: It’s time to be welcomed to the residential side of MIT. Come enjoy this MANDATORY opportunity to meet your Housemasters and GRT’s lem set parties begin, the relationships you have with while learning about house governments. those in your living group will completely shape your college experience. So be sure to use this time to make The East Side Party the best decision for you. Date: Sunday August 29 Happy Exploring! Time: 9 p.m.–1 a.m. Location: East Campus/Senior Haus Christina Johnson Description: Come to YYZ, where bouncy balls rain in thousands from the sky. President, Dormitory Council Ride the rides, scream down the roller coaster and wrestle in things never before wrestled in. And as you dance in the smoke, the lights, the thumping dreamscape of an unstoppable party, you too will taste the sweet nectar of Freedom. On behalf of The Tech, I’d like to welcome the Class East Vs. West Side Water War of 2014 to MIT! You’ll find in the following pages the Date: Monday August 30 complete, comprehensive guide to this year’s Resi- Time: 6 p.m. dence Exploration (REX) events. At MIT, you have the Location: Kresge Oval special privilege of choosing which dorm you would Description: Take part in the epic battle that is the official East vs. West campus WATER WAR! Visit your dorm, or any dorm you pledge your loyalty to in like to live in. You should engage as much as possible in the hours before 6pm to take part in the construction of water bearing and the fun events the dorms will host, so you can find the water hurling contraptions (plus the filling of water balloons). Take your people you will love to hang out with for years to come. place among fellow residents in the march to the final face off on Kresge Visit other dorms even if you are satisfied in your cur- Oval at 6 on the dot -where the East Side meets the West side. Winner takes all! If you’re late, just come on over to join in on the fun! Which side rent assignment, and remember that the people and will claim VICTORY?! culture of a dorm matter more than its physical ameni- ties (or lack thereof). Sweet Rave Party I cannot emphasize this enough: the most impor- Date: Monday August 30 tant decision you will make freshmen year isn’t what Time: 8:17 p.m. Location: Random Hall classes you’ll take or what major you’ll choose; it’s Description: Rejoice in the Revelry of the Random Rush Rave! Rock out Really where you are going to live! That said, switching dorms Radically! is more than possible, and don’t forget that the many fraternities, sororities, and independent living groups Skyline (FSILGs) will also be recruiting in a couple weeks. Date: Monday August 30 Time: 10 p.m.–1 a.m. You’ll find a similar guide to FSILG events in our Sep- Location: Baker House tember 3 issue. Description: Come dive into orientation with the hottest party of the night at the Don’t forget to have fun and pepper the upperclass- most social dorm on campus! Featuring a dance floor, live DJs spinning men with questions! today’s hottest beats, and refreshments! Party with your fellow freshmen, Baker and Simmons residents and the ladies of McCormick. David M. Templeton Managing Editor, The Tech Friday, August 27, 2010 The Tech 7 Thursday and hunt, talk to odd townspeople, slay the dragon, rescue the princess, August 26 and find the tasty treasure. Roleplay 12:00 accordingly! 17:54—EAsT camPUS 12:00—Dormitory Council Like Rollercoaster Tycoon, except Housing Lottery Opens—Enter with less Tycoons and more Roller- at http://web.mit.edu/housing/ coasters. lottery/ 18:00 Friday, 18:00—Next House August 27 Boston Walking Tours: Come along with the resident experts from Next 01:00 to see the city near which you’ll be 01:00—EAsT camPUS spending the next four years of your We’ve been building all week! Come life. See the hot spots for food, fun, join us or feel your penis shrinking. and entertainment… all within the limits of your little frosh feet. 01:01—EAsT camPUS When we’re not building, we’re chill- 18:17—Random Hall ing. Come chill with us, we have 4700 Clamathon—Are you rad enough to freezypops. complete the Shuanak challenge? How about a game of Clamball in the 05:00 Clam-hall? Come prove yourself to be the best at inane games. Bexley Hall 05:55—EAsT camPUS 18:41—EAsT camPUS might even settle in Catan along the gage! Friendly Nexties will help you ball: Come show what you’ve got, Obviously you are not a golfer. Come Want to see some union inaction? way. move in and show you around our in the all-American game of… Foot- play the back nine at EAsT camPUS. Come see 3 guys with with power awesome dorm! Even if you’re not ball! And when you’re all worn out tools be watched by 30 without at 14:00 23:00 temped here, stop by and see what from playing, or just want to enjoy EAsT camPUS. Next is all about. some downright great smoothies, 14:00— 23:47—Random Hall EAsT camPUS stop by NH4. Don’t miss out, these Tours: come see where James keeps Duct Tape Construction—Come 09:00 smoothies really do pour out quick! his gigantic tits. make things out of the most awe- 12:00—Senior Haus 14:00—New House Fun Fact some material know to peoplekind! 09:00—New House Welcome Lounge: Stop by New Tire Swing @ Senior Haus Courtyard. New House 4: Delish Perfect Dessert: There’s only one tire swing on cam- Listen to that sweet tooth of yours— Bexley residents once Saturday House as we welcome you to MIT. We will have snacks and residents pus. Come to senior haus to learn now is the time for dessert! We’ve listed Flavor Flav as August 28 around all day so stop by and say hi! from the best and give blood to the got cupcakes, cookies, and sweet their house president. tree. Also, get a tour from our lovely treats to meet its demands, so make 00:00 09:17—Random Hall and exotic residents to see the hell sure you come on down—your tum- 00:11—EAsT camPUS Crepes!—Sweet! Crepes! Make! Eat! from which none has returned the my will be grateful. 20:00 No, we won’t turn our music down 10:00 same… Tours meet every 14:00—New House 20:00—Next House for you. Find out why at EAsT cam- 12:00—Next House French House: Mafia: Ceci n’est pas Movie Night: Batman Begins and PUS. 10:00—Burton-Conner Welcome BBQ: …And the food be- un mafia. Or are you? The Dark Knight! Come relax and Come build a water weapon for the gins. Come join us for a delicious 01:00 15:00 celebrate the beginning of REX in fight on Monday! We’ve got all the meal and meet the residents of Next front of the Next House big screen 01:00—EAsT camPUS supplies you need House! We will also have frisbees 15:17—Random Hall TV. Popcorn and other snacks will be We are so chill, we’ve been sleeping 10:00—Phoenix Group and bubbles-- what more could you Truffles!—Do you want the delec- provided! in freezypops. Come eat five thou- Dorm Tours @ Outside W20 on the ask for? table chocolate with raspberry? The 20:00—Burton-Conner sand freezypops at East Campus. LaVerde’s side: A tour guide will be 12:17—Random Hall boring ol’ chocolate with vanilla? Welcome to MIT! Come hang out 01:23—EAsT camPUS waiting for you at the Student Center Learn to Cook in 3 Short Steps—How Will you show your chutzpah by try- and eat ice cream before the crazi- Tired? You too can sell your soul to (with a big sign that says NW35) to to cook X: Step 1: Come to Random ing the chocolate with chipotle? How ness begins. Because your existence Monster Energy Drinks. take you to NW35, the newest dorm. Hall at 12:17. Step 2: ??? Step 3: Profit! about the chocolate with death was- is meaningless without ice cream (Eat X) 01:24—EAsT camPUS abi- only for the brave of heart and 20:17—Random Hall 12:30—Baker House palate… It’s safe. See, we even marked it off Roofdeck BBQ—Meat! Ribs, sausage, with caution tape. Baker House BBQ Pits (Riverside): 16:00 pulled pork and more! Come eat, Factoid Baker House Welcome BBQ Wel- talk, eat, and see the awesomeness of 02:00 come to MIT! Come for a great BBQ 16:00—EAsT camPUS having a roofdeck. And eat! The dorms with acces- and meet your new classmates while 02:01— Our burgers and hot dogs are not like 20:47—Random Hall EAsT camPUS sible rooftops/terraces enjoying a great view of the Charles So you’re looking for foam blocks? I River. your burgers and hot dogs. Because Liquid Nitrogen Ice Cream—What are McCormick, Baker, they are made out of Awesome. East have good hookup, very cheap. does one do with twenty liters of the Random, and 13:00 Campus: Come for the food, stay for embodiment of REALLY BLOODY 03:00 the awesome. COLD? Make ice cream, of course! Simmons. 13:00—Senior Haus 16:17—Random Hall 03:00—EAsT camPUS Graffiti @ Senior Haus Courtyard. Munchkin—Does D&D have too 21:00 We take one thing in our creamer: 11:00 Come be a delinquent with some of much plot for you? Come play some 21:17—Random Hall non-dairy creamer… LOTS OF IT. the best. 11:00—Senior Haus Munchkin. All the killing and looting, Build-A-Bagofholding—You may not 03:17—Random Hall 13:47—Random Hall Early Morning Breakfast @ Senior none of the story or rules. have enough time to do everything RHOP—Why would anyone be up Silly Putty Ice Cream—What? Ice Haus 1st Floor Kitchen. Eat, bitch. 16:17—Random Hall you want, but you can get enough so late? To serve you pancakes, of cream isn’t supposed to do that! Nerdy Sing Along—It’s hard to over- space to hold whatever you want. course! 11:47—Random Hall (Warning: May contain potato.) B-7s—It’s our weekly math party: state my satisfaction with the songs Breaking the laws of physics, just for 03:33—EAsT camPUS 13:47—Random Hall snacks and hard problems included. we’ve got lined up here. Truly, this you. They’re not bombs, they’re cocktails. Cookies and Smut—Listen to the fin- event fulfilling in creative way. If you 21:47—Random Hall 03:42—EAsT camPUS 12:00 est Viking romance novels and eat want to be first in your class here at CS ‘n’ Juice—Juice tastes better than Pants suck. Just sayin’. delicious warm chocolate chip cook- MIT, just remember that it’s gonna 12:00—New House ies. Feel the horriblehorriblehorrible tea. Theoretical computer science is 03:58—EAsT camPUS be the future soon. French House: Papier-Mâché Zoo: sensation of rivulets of chocolate more fun than math. We probably shouldn’t let him use La Maison a besoin de quelques ani- dripping down your throat and dis- that chop saw until he wakes up. 17:00 22:00 maux de compagnie… help us make cover Thor’s magnificent hammer! some. 17:17—Random Hall 22:00—New House 04:00 Juggling in Enclosed Spaces—What’s New House 4: Ice Cream Social: Real- 12:00—Burton-Conner 14:00 04:06—EAsT camPUS more fun than throwing brightly col- ly don’t need much more to say than take a tour and see what BC is all 14:00—Next House BUILD BUILD BUILD, WHY ISN’T ored objects at people? Doing it at the title, but just in case you didn’t about Pies and Other Things that Fly: Kites, THIS WORKING, OH GOD NO… the same time as fifteen other people know, ice cream is awesome. Come 12:00—New House Frisbees and, of course, Pie! Come all packed into a small lounge. Come get free ice cream. Bring friends and/ 08:00 Spanish House: Carne Asada with for kite-making, play some Ultimate, juggle with us! Don’t know how? or make friends. Familia: Come join the Spanish and do some ballistic physics of your We’re happy to teach you! 22:47—Random Hall 08:00—Burton-Conner house family for their traditional and own (coughPIEFIGHTcough). 17:47—Random Hall Board Games—Risk? Not exactly! Leggo my Eggo? You can keep it; delicious cook-out to learn a little bit 14:00—Phoenix Group Live Action Quest—Come quest Come play in our Dominion of we’re making fresh waffles with top- about what living in Spanish House Dorm Tours @ Outside W20 on the about the Duchy of Black Hole, a Munchkins and Betrayal, get a Ticket pings galore is actually like. LaVerde’s side: A tour guide will be mysterious land populated by some to Ride to your Descent, and Race for 08:00—Next House 12:00—New House waiting for you at the Student Center strangely-dressed folks. Scavenge the Galaxy’s Twilight Imperium! You Take a Tour and Transport Your Lug- New House 4: Smoothies & Foot- (with a big sign that says NW35) to

Simmons Hall Next House 8 The Tech Friday, August 27, 2010 Macgregor and New will entertain omphe? Construct an edible French you with games, food, dancing, and monument et puis mange ton chef much more. See what the west side d’ouvre. dorms have to offer! The carnival has 23:00—Senior Haus started and you are all invited! S’mores @ Senior Haus Courtyard. 19:17—Random Hall Come put our gooey-liciousness nth annual BEEFoff—Many will en- in your mouth. Bite down… hard. ter, but just one will have the glory of White, brown, crispy black: we’re all victory. Eat BEEF and decide which equal-opportunity mouths here. dish will take home the prize. 23:00—New House New House 2: Comedy Night: Over- 20:00 whelmed with all the events of Orien- 20:00—Senior Haus tation? What better way to relax than Last minute mask making @ Senior laughing with the family of House 2? Haus Lobby. Wait, you still haven’t Of course they’ll be good eats for all! made your mask!? Hurry, loser: there 23:00—Phoenix Group isn’t much time left before it will be Arrested Development Marathon @ vital. AKA, we’re releasing the Lame- NW35 1st Floor Lounge: Hey her- New House saur from the basement, and he will manos… so while we’re waiting for eat all who are lame enough to resist the movie to be produced (Come take you to NW35, the newest dorm. Courtyard: Help our IM Ultimate and 17:17—Random Hall the fearsome po on!) might as well kick back and re- Soccer teams hone their skillz! All Wigging Out—Come see what colors 14:00—EAsT camPUS 20:17—Random Hall live one of the greatest shows to ever skill levels welcome. look good on your head! Guaranteed Hair Dyeing: Come dye at East Cam- Chainmail—Learn to weave metal grace TV. Refreshments will be pro- to be less permanent than dye! pus. We’re all dyeing here. 16:00—New House into chains and fabrics! Make armor vided. dot com. 14:00—EAsT camPUS French House: Cooking: Faites bouil- 18:00 worthy of the thirteenth century! Also 23:30—Burton-Conner To change things up, we’ve got some lir, coupez, faites sauter, and immer- suitable for badass jewelry. Pixar movie marathon in Burton- steak and lobster for everyone to en- sion blend with us! 18:00—McCormick Hall Conner! We have a popcorn ma- joy. Really, it’s great. And free. You’ll 16:00—Senior Haus Come to McC for some Tropical 21:00 chine love it. Ok, I lied. It’s burgers and hot Madness! Experience the powers of Haircuts @ Senior Haus Lobby. Now 21:00—Simmons Hall dogs. And thrill rides and robots. Pixar classics, delicious fruit juices, that you’ve had your hair dyed and Have you ever experienced the epic henna tattoos, and yummy finger 14:00—EAsT camPUS look like a jackass, let us cut it all off. cinematic experience offered by the foods, as they take you to a world that East Campus is full of Back In The 16:17—Random Hall Simmons MPR? You know, TEN foot Protip Day. We have so much history it Bubble Wrap Room—Spend my is Warm, Wet, and Wild! screen and Bose SURROUND sound hurts. Come discover East Campus nights with a roll of bubble wrap. 18:00—Senior Haus and all? No? NBD. Come and enjoy Two sites you may with us. Pop, pop—hope no one sees me get- Dorm mailing list spamming @ Se- a movie marathon like no other at want to visit when 14:00—Senior Haus tin’ freaky. nior Haus Lobby. Be the first in your MIT. lonely and bored Mask making @ Senior Haus Lobby. class to successfully troll all of cam- 16:47—Random Hall 21:00—Senior Haus are mitfml.com and Make your new face, one befitting a Mafia—Will the townspeople tri- pus! We’ll discuss what makes suc- That thing with the masks; BE HERE isawyou.mit.edu wanderer of the night umph? Or will the Mafia kill them cessful troll so successful, and how @ Senior Haus Lobby. Whether you 14:17—Random Hall all? you can learn from some of the best came with a purpose or you’re here Pillowdome—Two men with pillows flame wars of ALL TIME. by accident, you’re now a part of the Sunday enter! One man with a pillow leaves! 17:00 18:00—EAsT camPUS struggle bus. Two men with pillows enter! One Come join us in hoping Transparent August 29 17:00—New House 21:17—Random Hall man with a pillow leaves! Horizons rusts away before they can Pass the Chicken—OVER HERE! German House: Homemade Ger- repaint it. 00:00 14:47—Random Hall man House Dinner: Start eating at PASS THE CHICKEN! (Warning: No 00:00— CHEESE—Swiss Cheddar Brie Cot- the dining halls in the dorms tonight 18:00—EAsT camPUS chickens were harmed in making of Senior Haus Go Satanic @ Senior Haus Court- tage Parmigiano Reggiano Gouda and you’ll be sick of them by the time I’m at the Soldering Seminar. I’m at this event) yard. Your all-expenses paid vaca- Chevre Camembert Provolone Ricot- classes start. Instead, get a taste of the Power Tools Seminar. I’m at the 21:47—Random Hall tion package to hell comes with goat ta Colby Jack Pepper Jack Monterey what German House residents get all Combination Soldering & Power Tea ‘n’ Math—Featuring all that is Tools Seminar. blood and eternal damnation. Bring Jack Mozzarella Muenster Blue Ha- year long with a scrumptious home- good in life: tea, cookies, and awe- your own demons. varti Limburger Feta. made dinner. 18:10—EAsT camPUS some math. I don’t know where you are right now 00:00—Burton-Conner 17:00—Senior Haus 15:00 but you could be building a blinking The water war prep continues! We’ll Real Texas Barbecue @ Senior Haus 22:00 shrieking trinket! Come electronical- be using our power tools allll night 15:00—Burton-Conner Courtyard. Learn how to barbecue 22:00—Baker House ly worry the police at East Campus. long (giggity) This is a *real* BBQ. We’re talkin’ from a real Texan. Bite down slow Baker House Rooftop: Baker House chicken n’ ribs smothered in sauce, and let that blood sink through your 18:15—New House presents FLOW Cap off the evening 00:04—EAsT camPUS grilled by genuine southerners. Help teeth. Like that. Real nice and deep- French House: Dinner: Enjoy a deli- and your first day of college by relax- We’ve got the steepest wooden roller yourself to potato salad and corn- like. cious homemade meal chez nous! ing at our rooftop lounge with a great coaster in the world! Don’t believe bread, wash it all down with sweet Now Zagat rated. . . view of the Boston skyline. Hang out us? Come feel your eyeballs pop out tea or lemonade. Y’all come back 18:17—Random Hall under the night sky with your new at EAsT camPUS. now, y’hear? Boffing on the Roofdeck—Nothing classmates. There will be ice cold 15:00—New House Fun Fact says, “Hey, let’s be friends” like a drinks and a live DJ. 01:00 Spanish House Game Night: Come foam sword to the abdomen. 22:00—Senior Haus 01:00—Senior Haus have fun with La Casa and play pok- If you live facing the 18:47—Random Hall Coffee and Cigarettes @ Senior Haus Go Office Space on our shit @ Senior er, loteria, twister, sing karaoke, soc- courtyard in East Pixelate By Numbers Mural—Like Courtyard. Come drink coffee and Haus Courtyard. Who needs anger cer, and spanish scrabble and have a color by numbers? LIke old video management? Campus, you may be smoke cigarettes (18+) with senior Fiesta. games? Like art? Like anything at all? haus’ most “delightful” people, while 15:00—Senior Haus awoken by random Come help us paint a mural of pixels, watching the Jim Jarmusch film of 02:00 Orgy @ Senior Haus Room 443. Vi- detonations. color by number style! the same name. A senior haus tradi- 02:21—EAsT camPUS cious. Delicious. Tastes just like tion. chicken. 19:00 You know you’re doing it right when 17:00—Simmons Hall 22:47—Random Hall you have more power tools than 15:15—EAsT camPUS Have you seen the price of sushi at 19:00—Senior Haus Revenge of the Board Games—Didn’t workers on the scene. If you’re gonna drill that hard, you the student center? It’s ridiculous. Voyage to the Playground! @ Senior get enough the first time? Come for a gotta use protection. Instead of paying an arm and a leg, Haus Lobby. Relive your childhood second round of our favorite board 03:00 15:17—Random Hall come on over to the Simmons Coun- – selectively. Go on an adventure games… or come join us for the first 03:17—Random Hall Storytime with Cruft—Cruft: (n) try Kitchen where Master Ferro-Chef with some of our prettiest and most time! RHOP—Everything is more interest- junk, detritus, old computers, and Chen teaches you the ancient orien- handsome residents and swing your ing in the early hours of the morn. MIT alumni. Bask in the glory of our tal art of sushi wrapping. heart out on the bestest playground 23:00 Even pancakes. venerable old fogies and learn about 17:00—New House around. 23:00—MacGregor the good old days. (Warning: “stay off New House 4: Make your own 19:00—Dormitory Council MacGregor Post-Party—The West 04:00 my lawn”) Dumpling: Make and eat your very Come over to Macgregor Courtyard Side Block Party may be over, but 15:30—Senior Haus own dumplings! Drop by New House for a fun-filled night! Next, Burton- the night is still young! Stop by 04:00—EAsT camPUS Book Club with Hunter S. Thomp- 4 and learn how to make tasty dump- Conner, Macgregor and New will en- MacGregor and continue the party Missed out on the Dust Bowl? Come son @ Senior Haus Lobby. Meet the lings (a potentially essential skill once tertain you with games, food, danc- on the dance floor with our live DJs live out the good ol’ times at the EAsT famous author and gonzo journalist you get tired of ramen), or come to ing, and much more. See what the and music. Or stick around and relax camPUS courtyard. who inspired “Sport Death.” just grab some deliciousness to eat. west side dorms have to offer! out in the courtyard, where there will 05:00 17:04—EAsT camPUS 19:00—MacGregor be entertainment and refreshments. 16:00 Come ride the merry-go-round. We WEST SIDE PARTY—Come over to 23:00—New House 05:32—EAsT camPUS 16:00—Phoenix Group swear it it’s not a death trap. This the west side of campus for a fun- French House: Nomuments: Our Romain is not vegetarian. Come Ultimate Frisbee and Soccer @ NW35 time… filled night! Next, Burton-Conner, Dreamed of eating l’arc de tri- taste our Romain at EAsT camPUS.

Baker House Random Hall Friday, August 27, 2010 The Tech 9

Senior House Burton-Conner House 05:55—EAsT camPUS possible roller coasters. bestest ministers will help heal your tertainment and boatloads of food! 21:01—EAsT camPUS Does anyone else hear the Mario 16:17—Random Hall wretched soul. 20:31—EAsT camPUS Who needs acrobats when you can theme? No? I guess I’ve just been Chess is a fun game when played 18:17—Random Hall Come experience the physical by- hang over a 20 foot drop in order to awake too long. with shotguns—Now with 30% more Rocky Horrible’s Sing-Back Blog— products of our sleep deprived hal- drill a hole in a 4x4? queens! Have beloved memories of Dr. Hor- lucinations. 21:17—Random Hall 08:00 16:17—Random Hall rible? Not after this event, you won’t. Physics ‘n’ Coffee—Like tea ‘n’ math, 08:00—Burton-Conner Afternoon Tea—Come have a lovely Come as we find the worst things 21:00 but with more caffeine and slightly possible to yell at poor NPH. BAAACON!!! Bacon Bacon Bacon afternoon tea with the Mad Hatter 21:00—Dormitory Council more basis in reality (but only slight- BAAACON!!! And eggs… and toast and the March Hare! Enjoy some ly). 19:00 Come to YYZ in the EC Courtyard, and stuff too, but we know why light hor d’oeuvres and tea, and don’t where bouncy balls rain in thou- 21:30—EAsT camPUS you’re really here (bacon!) forget to bring a hat. If you do, news- 19:00—New House sands from the sky. Ride the rides, It looks like crude oil but it won’t 08:00—Next House paper will have to suffice. As always, New House 5: Trashy Food and scream down the roller coaster and break your vagina. Come wrestle in OJ and Muffins: Start your day off stuffed animals are welcome. Trashy TV: We will be watching crap- wrestle in things never before wres- vagina-safe substances at East Cam- right with some breakfast right in 16:20—EAsT camPUS py MTV television like “The Jersey tled in. Dance in the smoke, lights, pus. your friendly Next House Lounge. We’re not sure why we’re so obsessed Shore” and “The Rock of Love.” There and the thumping dreamscape of an 08:30—New House with freezy pops. Oh, that’s right, will be food like chips ahoy and Pep- unstoppable party. 22:00 Breakfast: Smoothies and Cereal: they’re delicious. Come suck on our si, which make a surprisingly good 22:00—Simmons Hall Come join New House for home- pops at EAsT camPUS. combo. Really the food won’t be that Come to the Simmons Game Area made smoothies and cereal classics! 16:20—EAsT camPUS trashy, but I’ll try for some intense ping pong action, Rollercoasters: How The Fuck Do 19:00—EAsT camPUS Protip intense skee ball action, intense DDR 09:00 They Work?! Today is a good day to die at EAsT action, not-so-intense board game 09:17—Random Hall 16:30—Phoenix Group camPUS. We who are about to ride If you swim in the action, or EXTREME AWESOME Breakfast at Tiffany’s—Tiffany&Co Dorm Tours @ Outside W20 on the the coaster salute you. moat around the Cha- Build-your-own-Simmons-from- LaVerde’s side: A tour guide will be like making food. You like eating 19:00—Burton-Conner pel, people inside can Graham-cracker-ACTION!!!111! (Yes food. What could be better? (Classy waiting for you at the Student Center Even More Water War Prep! In case you can eat said graham crackers if little black dresses and pearls not re- (with a big sign that says NW35) to you haven’t figured it out yet, this see your shadows. so desired.) quired.) take you to NW35, the newest dorm. event is 24/7. We just like to remind 22:00—EAsT camPUS 16:30—McCormick Hall you every once in a while. 21:00—Burton-Conner Tshen2 once tried to party on both 10:00 Come to McC courtyard for Tie-Dye 19:00—EAsT camPUS Capture the Flag! We’re in your base, sides of campus at the SAME TIME. as you’ve never seen it before! Bold capturing your flag. Meet at BC desk 10:00—Phoenix Group Gabe: He’ll machine what you need, It was a terrible mistake. Come learn dyes and bright fabric markers are at and we’ll head out from there. Dorm Tours @ Outside W20 on the if you know what I mean. from terrible mistakes at East Cam- your disposal when you decide how LaVerde’s side: A tour guide will be 19:00—Senior Haus 21:00—Senior Haus pus. to embellish neat pillowcase keep- waiting for you at the Student Center Silk screening/t-shirt destruction @ BOUNCY BALL DROP (!!!) @ SE- 22:30—New House sakes. (with a big sign that says NW35) to Senior Haus Lobby. Those t-shirts NIOR HAUS COURTYARD. Now New House 2: Boondocks Mini-Mar- with THREE times the bouncy balls. take you to NW35, the newest dorm. 17:00 you just picked up? It’s time to make athon: Food? Boondocks? House 2? them yours/awesome. Thousands of balls! Millions of balls! Sunday just got 10 times better! –32768 balls! Have you experienced a 12:00 17:00—Simmons Hall 19:17—Random Hall Ever seen that movie “Cloudy with a hailstorm of this magnitude? A show- 12:30—Dormitory Council Randomized Algorithms—If you’ve 23:00 Chance of Meatballs?” Well it’s go- er from the heavens of such fortitude? Housemaster Brunches: Head back ever wished randomized incremen- 23:00—Phoenix Group ing to be like that in the Infamous At this latitude? I didn’t think so to your individual resident halls tal constructions weren’t just for Futurama Marathon @ NW35 1st Simmons Ball-pit of Awesomeness. 21:00—EAsT camPUS to take part in this wonderful and computers, join us in Pecker lounge Floor Lounge: Good news, everyone! Come and relieve some stress after Come to the YYZ party, taste the MANDATORY opportunity to meet and learn precisely how much slower Your favorite TV show is BACK, no that Math Diagnostics test by smack- sweet nectar of freedom! Freedom your Housemasters and GRT’s, learn a chalkboard is than a modern CPU. ing your friends in the face with plas- while stocks last. Heh heh, we NEV- thanks to the fine gentlemen at FOX. about house government, and hear tic balls! ER run out of freedom. So join us in watching the latest epi- some rules. 20:00 sodes! Refreshments will be provid- 21:00—New House ed. WOOB-WOOB-WOOB-WOOB- 20:00—Next House New House 3: Board Game Night: 16:00 WOOB-WOOB-WOOB-WOOB! Game Night: Get your game face on From 3D Twister to Settlers of Catan 16:00—Senior Haus Protip and drop by Next House for the old- to Go Fish and Apples to Apples, 23:00—Senior Haus Mad Hatter tea party @ Senior Haus school board and the latest video! join New House 3 for a night of our Avant-garde band practice @ Se- Snacks provided. Lobby. Tea and Crumpets and Mad If you live in Next favorite board games and late night nior Haus Music Room (Basement). Hatters. Celebrate the Joi De Vivre 20:17—Random Hall snacks. Come be avant-garde with us. What, that MIT causes. How far down the House, watch out for Pants Pants Revolution—Like Dance you say that I’m not playing any violent Wellesley girls. 21:00—New House rabbit hole are you willing to go? Dance Revolution, but every time German House: “House MD” Mara- notes? That my amplifier is just mak- 16:00—Baker House you win, you put on another pair of thon: Come scarf down a ton of pop- ing white noise? You’re not avant- In Front of Baker House: Ice Cream 17:00—MacGregor pants. corn and caffeinated beverages to garde enough. & Tours of Baker House Interested in Pasta & Salad Dinner at MacGregor— 20:30—MacGregor watch your favorite Vicodin addict 23:24—EAsT camPUS moving to Baker House? Come by for Craving some Italian food? Well Like playing board games? How save lives with his witty insults until When our new assistant housemaster a tour of Baker House, and we’ll show come over and half all the pasta you about video games? Then come to you just can’t take it anymore. You has designed and built rollercoasters you our rooms, gym, dining hall and can eat! the MacGregor Rec Room for Games know he’s your hero. Stop denying it. for a living, you know we’re going to more. We’ll also be handing out lots 17:00—Burton-Conner Night, where there will be tons of en- And put down that Vicodin do something awesome of free ice cream. It’s not delivery, it’s delicious! Come 16:00—EAsT camPUS make your favorite pizza from scratch Food. What do you mean the coast- with our resident chefs er’s not done yet?! 17:00—Senior Haus 16:00—EAsT camPUS Go the Garment District with Uncle Hair dye: it’s like mosquito repellent, Pevner @ Senior Haus Courtyard. but for helicopter parents. Go on a field trip with Uncle Pevner 16:00—New House to the Garment District. At this used- Taste of New House and Tours: Come clothing store, you can buy a pound get a taste of New House and learn of clothes for just $1.50. Plus, you can about the different houses. Enjoy silkscreen stuff with us later. various different cuisines and take 17:17—Random Hall tours lead by house residents. ntris Friends—Tetris is trivial. Come 16:00—Next House play ntris and hit your opponent in Tie Dye and Free Love: Get into the face with a giant nonomino. the psychedelic spirit by making 17:45—EAsT camPUS your own tie dyed apparel. Enjoy Fuck (Batman), get wood at EAsT smoothies and lots of love from en- camPUS. thusiastic-but-not-dangerous Nex- ties. 18:00 16:08—EAsT camPUS 18:00—Senior Haus Stick our meat in your mouth. We Church @ Senior Haus Lobby. Do promise you’ll like it. you know the weight of bearing the 16:13—EAsT camPUS cross? You can, when you dress up Fred’s Theorem: a monkey with like Jesus at the Senior Haus lobby! power tools and an infinite supply Stayed up too late partying with of lumber will eventually produce all Satan? Some of Senior Haus’ most NW35 (Phoenix Group) 10 The Tech Friday, August 27, 2010 Monday freshmen. and other breakfast-like foods in our 10:00 proportions. 01:17—Random Hall dining hall. 11:30—Phoenix Group 10:00— August 30 Sleepers Anonymous—Sleep is an Burton-Conner Dorm Tours @ Outside W20 on the ONLY EIGHT HOURS TILL WATER addiction. The first step towards 08:00 LaVerde’s side: A tour guide will be 00:00 WAR! GO! GO! GO! overcoming your addiction is ad- 08:00—Burton-Conner waiting for you at the student center 10:00— 00:00—Senior Haus mitting you have a problem. Sleep- Breakfast Time! OM NOM NOM! Next House (with a big sign that says NW35) to Midnight tire swinging @ Senior ers Anonymous is a support group Boston Walking Tours: Come along take you to NW35, the newest dorm. 08:17—Random Hall with the resident experts from Next Haus Courtyard. It’s more fun in the formed to help people like you over- More Breakfast Than YOUR BODY dark. come this addiction. Come, and we to see the city near which you’ll be 12:00 HAS ROOM FOR!!!—Oh no! The Gi- spending the next four years of your 00:00—Next House will all fight it together. 12:00— ant Egg Monster is attacking the city! life. See the hot spots for food, fun, New House PJ Movie Night: Popcorn, s’mores Tie Dying: Want to spice up your 01:43—EAsT camPUS What will we do? and entertainment… all within the wardrobe? Join New House for tie and good movie… sounds like the Where the best flowers only grow at 08:18—Random Hall limits of your little frosh feet. perfect way to round off your first night. Come find out how to garden Wait, what’s that? dying. We will provide t-shirts and day as MIT students. Come see IRON at EAsT camPUS. socks or bring your own clothing and 08:19—Random Hall 11:00 MAN! add a bit of color! IT’S A CRACK! WE CAN’T REPEL 11:00—MacGregor 00:00—Burton-Conner 04:00 12:00—Simmons Hall OMELETTES OF THAT MAGNI- Brunch @ MacGregor Come down James Bond Movie Marathon. The 04:00—Senior Haus TUDE! Hungry after the brutal math/phys- to the MacGregor dining room for ics ASE? Or have you not taken them name’s Conner. Burton-Conner. For- Was something going on now? @ Se- brunch and socialize with our resi- mal attire encouraged. nior Haus Lobby. Zzzzzzzzz. 09:00 yet? Either way, come to Simmons dents! Enjoy pancakes, syrup, eggs, and enjoys pans upon pans of deliz- 01:00 07:00 09:00—New House bacon, sausages, juice, fruit, and ioso pizza π. As my Italian amico use Breakfast: Waffles and Pancakes: more food than you can eat! to say, “Chi tardi arriva, male allog- 01:00—EAsT camPUS 07:00—Next House Come join New House for all variet- 11:17—Random Hall gia.” So be on time… or be hungry. The party’s over and all these rides Woeful Waffles: Ease the pain of an ies homemade pancakes and waffles Settlers of Catan (Almost) Life- 12:00—Senior Haus are still up, what are you waiting early Monday morning (and loom- complete with whipped cream to top sized—Come play a Random Hall Niece Jemima and Tire Swinging @ for! Remember: caution tape repels ing ASEs) with freshly-made waffles it off! favorite board game, now in epic Senior Haus. Listen. Listen. Listen. LISTEN! Come get scolded, and cook. Then EAT FOR FREE. Learn from the tire swing experts in the courtyard. 12:17—Random Hall Dumpling Hylomorphism—An- amorphism: the building up of a structure. Catamorphism: the con- sumption of a structure. Hylomor- phism: both an anamorphism and a catamorphism. This event? A hylomorphism on dumplings. Come per- form a metabolic reduction on food. 12:30—Senior Haus Haus tours @ Senior Haus lobby. Come see our pussies! If you’re lucky, you can touch one. 12:47—Random Hall Deep Fried Liquid Nitrogen Ice Cream—Some like it hot, some like it sub-zero. Why not have both at once? 13:00 13:00—Senior Haus Alternative Sex Seminar @ Senior Haus Lobby. The official “Sex Sig- nals” event doesn’t look too enthrall- ing? Curious about being gay at MIT? Wanna know the best way to tie someone to an Institute bed? Wanna know where to buy latex clothing in Cambridge and Boston? Solid ad 13:00—McCormick Hall Come indulge in ice cream floats at our Karaoke and board game extrav- aganza in the West McC Penthouse! 13:47—Random Hall Dungeons and Dragons—A whim- sical journey full of fun, magic and adventure awaits! Also, killing things and looting their stuff. 14:00 14:00—New House French House: Pâtisserie and Tea: Turn dough into pastry! Yes, you! Avec du thé, bien sûr! 14:00—EAsT camPUS I made a bad decision about changing my hair color! I made a bad decision about not changing my hair color! Come fix your bad decisions at East Campus. 14:00—Senior Haus Moar Hair Cuts @ Senior Haus Lob- by. Maybe your back could use a shave? You don’t look quite enough like Feldmeier yet. Let’s change that. 14:00—EAsT camPUS We bought pre-delicious edibles, come cook something awesome and we’ll give you a prize. We’re not even kidding! P.S: Our concept of awesome may be dangerously flawed. 14:00—Next House Back to Kindergarten!: As you get ready to start college, you’ll find that the experience is startlingly similar to another, long-ago first day of school… so come join us for snack- time, fingerpainting, and naptime ;) -- all the great things about being 5 all over again! 14:17—Random Hall Electronics Dissection—Come join us at Random Hall for an electrify- ing experience! Take apart a blender, make yourself some capacitor ear- rings, play a little game of electronics jenga, and plot how to take over the world with electronics! 15:00 15:00—Burton-Conner Friday, August 27, 2010 The Tech 11

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S Next House W71 T o Hyatt Regenc y

Simmons Hall New House

NW35 (Phoenix Group) W70

assar Street W79 NW86 House MacGregor

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Sidney Street

Fowler Street Burton-Conner House NW30 East Campus W59

Landsdowne Street

Clog your arteries with your favorite Visit your dorm, or any dorm you serts fill out the evening’s program. W51 NW22

Albany Street delicacies: chicken tenders, corn- pledge your loyalty to around 5:30. 20:17—Random Hall NW21 dogs, fries, and onion rings! Experi- Take your place among fellow resi- W8

Sweet Rave Party—Rejoice in the NW17 ments welcome. dents in the march to the final face Revelry of the Random Rush Rave! NW20 Endicott Street NW15 NW16 Baker House 15:00—Simmons Hall off on Kresge Oval at 6 on the dot Rock out Really Radically! Random Memorial Dri v

What kind of intriguing mysteries lie -where the East Side meets the West W7

20:17—Dormitory Council NW14 Hall

side. If you’re late, just come on over W45

within that huge strange waffle-like NW62 Random Hall Sweet Rave Party: Ran- NW10 Street Cross building next to the football field?” to join in on the fun! dom Hall: Rejoice in the Revelry of W34 NW13

Time to find out by joining us for NW61

18:00—Senior Haus the Random Rush Rave! Rock out Re- e

V NW12 Central Square Central Simmons Tour! . Tours depart every assar Street WARWARWAR @ Senior Haus ally Radically! Danforth Street Hall McCormick N51

30 minutes on the hour and ½ hour. W33 A

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21:00 W4 N42 N52 tunately.) Windsor Street 18:00—Burton-Conner 21:00—New House W2 Smart Street W15 W32 15:00—Senior Haus W1 W20 WATER WAAAAAAAR!! (You don’t New House 5: Shirtless Bathroom W31 N10 Graffiti and courtyard chalk @ Senior W11 e want to miss this event!) W13 u Tea: I will make tea and we will sip en N9 Av Haus Courtyard. The more offensive ts set 18:15—New House tea together in teh bathroom and talk Boston Hall Bexley chu assa it is, the faster it will rain. Bridge Harvard (Mass Ave) 77 M French House: Dinner: Enjoy a deli- and stuff. You can wear a shirt if you V assar Street 41 33 1 5 9 15:30—Burton-Conner 7 N16A 7

cious homemade meal chez nous! 35 want. You don’t even have to drink 7A 17

JELLO WRESTLING AND SLIP N’ 42 N16

Over 1 million served! tea in the bathroom I guess. We 11 3

Albany Street

SLIDE! You know you want to! 3 might have food I’m not really sure 37

18:30—MacGregor 31 43 15:47—Random Hall Barbeque & Pig Roast Luau—It’s big though. Also, te 42 10 13 Mexican Roulette—Tons of quesa- and it’s at MacGregor—stop by the 21:00—New House 39

dillas. Some of them are obscenely 38 24 Charles Ri Charles

pits to enjoy some fresh grill food New House 2: Spades Tournament: 4 12 44

spicy. Feeling lucky? Mexican rou- 4 N4 with some island flavor! Stick around We’ve got the cards and the food, you 34 NE49 12A 6B

lette is not the same without a gun. 6C Main Street Main

to relax with our wonderful residents bring your best game. 8

36 V Memorial Dri v 26

6 assar Street 2 15:47—Random Hall NE47

in the courtyard and enjoy the deli- 46 21:00—Simmons Hall v 32D e NE48

Minihunt—Can’t wait for Mystery r cious food and music! And yes, there Pre-Skyline Party. Come gather with 14W Hunt? Come solve some puzzles and 16 18 14N 56 will be a pig on 14S

friends, or meet new people to party 32 14E eat some healthy brain food! 57 NE46 48 with before you head out to Baker! e 32G 54 Get pumped up with music, specialty NE43

16:00 50 51

drinks, and mouthwatering snacks! Campus East 62 16:00—Senior Haus Protip 21:00—Burton-Conner Gray W

ay Senior House Water war preparation @ Senior Crab Soccer! Re-live the carefree days 64 68 Haus Courtyard. These condoms Galileo W In the MacGregor of elementary school P.E! Ames Street

E1 ay E17 won’t fill themselves! Well… E15 tower, you can throw 21:00—New House E18 16:00—New House E19 interesting items French House: Games Night: Poker, E2 T

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21:17—Random Hall s E28 y 16:30—MacGregor a Hair Dyeing—U NEED MOAR RAIN- E33 E34 Ice Cream Social @ MacGregor = Hot 19:00 BOW IN UR HAIRZ! FIX IT!! summer heat got you down? Stop by Hayward Street E38 21:30—Senior Haus E39 MacGregor and grab some ice cream 19:00—Senior Haus E40 Coffee and cultural discussion @ Se- E51 and learn more about our dorm! Barbecuing and tire swinging @ Se-

nior Haus Suite 462. We’re not going T o Royal Sonesta Hote l W Cones, cups, and delicious toppings nior Haus Courtyard. Come dry off adsworth Street E48 in the sunny* Senior Haus courtyard to try to define what cultural encom- E52

galore! Longfellow Bridge E55 while enjoying barbecue and fuck- passes, but no matter what spot-on/ E53 16:45—EAsT camPUS ing shit up with a conical pendulum. batshit-crazy belief you hold, you’re Third Street WATER WAR REAL SOON NOW. *Actually black, like our souls. sure to find someone here who takes E56 Come help us load our weapons. issue or agreement. Coffee and poli- Bridge to Longfellow Land Kayak. Land Viking boat. An 19:00—Burton-Conner tics? Coffee and phys E60 Unspeakable Monstrosity. Wear the Tonight! We dine in Porter! Just kid- Caution Tape with pride. Get dressed ding -- the war’s over. Come relax 22:00 for EPIC BATTLE. and eat some good home-cooking at Burton-Conner 22:00—New House 16:47—Random Hall German House: “Team Awesome” Awesome AMVs—Like anything else, 19:17—Random Hall Competition: Bring your friends and 90% of all AMVs are crap. Come see Gluck. Are you DOWN for 4-deck the best of the best. speed solitaire? GLUCK! settle the score competing in various 19:17—Random Hall challenges to find out who is truly 17:00 The Bacon Conjecture—Thm: - Ev deserving of the name Team Awe- erything is better with bacon. Proof: some! Categories include a photo 17:00—Next House Come to this event. QED. scavenger hunt, an outdoor game, Water War Preparations: Come help and a Lego-building round. your fellow West-campus-ers to pre- 19:30—Phoenix Group Capture-the-Flag Pillowfight @ 22:00—Dormitory Council pare for battle on Kresge Oval. Fight Come dive into orientation with the valiantly, brave water warriors!!!! NW35 Courtyard: ‘cause regular CTF just isn’t extreme enough. hottest party of the night at Baker 17:00—EAsT camPUS House! Featuring a dance floor, live We have always been at war with 20:00 DJs spinning today’s hottest beats, West Campus. If you love Big Brother, and refreshments! Party with your you will help prepare ammunition. 20:00—New House fellow freshmen, Baker and Sim- 17:30—Burton-Conner New House 3: Atypical Animation: mons residents and the ladies of Mc- The water war approaches! Don your Join New House 3 as we watch some Cormick. of our favorite non-typical animated swimsuit and gather your allies; we 22:00—Random Hall films. Move beyond Disney and depart BC at 5:45pm Not the Start of Our Party—The watch a Castle, some Triplets, and 17:30—EAsT camPUS Hitchhiker’s Guide says our party the most fun we could find on DVD. In 30 minutes we unveil our Real is just starting now? But we’ve been Ultimate Power! It flips out and kills 20:00—New House rocking out for hours! New House 4: Fashion Show: Featur- people. It may be bazongas. 22:00—New House ing fashion designer Amanda An- 17:45—Burton-Conner French House: Cookies, Smoothies, tunes’ latest collection, a can’t miss We’re marching from outside BC to and Milkshakes: Charles de Gaulle’s opportunity. There will also be hors Kresge Oval. Fall in, soldier! favorite cookie was the snickerdoo- d’oeuvres (a.k.a. food) and a special 17:45—EAsT camPUS meet and greet from Amanda An- dle. Come eat your favorite. Computer, set all engines to Belliger- tunes herself. A definite event for ev- 22:17—Random Hall ent. eryone to see and to be seen Even More Liquid Nitrogen Ice Cream—If you think that other stuff 18:00 20:00—Next House House of Cards: Ever wanted to was cold… 18:00—EAsT camPUS show off your skills to match the MIT WATER WAR! Come fight with us if Blackjack Team? Now’s your chance, 23:00 you love freedom. with poker, blackjack and other card 23:00—Phoenix Group 18:00—Dormitory Council games. Chocolate fondue and des- Big Bang Theory Marathon @ NW35 MacGregor House 12 The Tech Friday, August 27, 2010 1st Floor Lounge: Math, science, his- did i say relive your childhood cuz i have conjured a special edition card- tory, unraveling the mysteries, that actually meant BE AWESOME set of Magic: The Gathering—so now all started with the big bang! Join us you can. 12:00 Extra East in watching one of the funniest and 15:59—EAsT camPUS wittiest shows currently airing on 12:00—Burton-Conner HURRY UP AND ENTER THE HOUS- television. Refreshments will be pro- It’s a Jam Session in BC! Get your ING LOTTERY SO WE DON’T HAVE vided. Campus Events groove on with some of our resident TO LISTEN TO YOU WHINE LATER 23:17—Random Hall musicians Every year. East Campus submits dozens of “humorous” gag entries to Caffeine Refueling Station-Sleep? 12:00—Senior Haus 16:00 What’s sleep? You’ve got four years at the Daily Confusion. Here are the ones that didn’t make the cut for the BACONBACONBACONBACON- MIT to sleep. Come get something to 16:00—Dormitory Council main section this year. BACONBACONBACONBACON @ keep the magic going. The housing adjustment lottery clos- Senior Haus 1st Floor Kitchen. ba- Friday. August 27 23:47—Random Hall es at 4pm. Be sure to get your forms conbaconbaconbaconbaconbacon- submitted online! 00:02—Kate and Tom: we apologize for this ahead of time. Movies on the Roofdeck—Join us the baconbaconbaconbacon 04:34—Asbestos free since: 2014. for a skyline view of Cambridge and some movies! Now showing “The 12:17—Random Hall 22:00 06:00—Holy shit! There’s a cat next to me! Paint the Ceiling- Come leave a mark Dark Knight,” “Grandma’s Boy,” and 22:30—Burton-Conner 09:19—Just because we’ve done it before, doesn’t mean it’s not in- a mystery third feature! on Random’s ceiling, or go nuts and credibly stupid. cover it all. Lay down some paint that Dance Party in Porter! REX may be over, but the party is just getting 10:10—You think these projects are cool, you should see what insur- Tuesday will still be here for the class of 2040 started ance didn’t sign off on. August 31 to see. 11:56—Now with 80% more Media Lab. 12:17—Random Hall Squick Squick Squick-squick, squick 23:00 12:43—Where the ‘art’ looks better without the paint. 00:00 squick… ”HOOOOOM!” Want to 23:00—Baker House 14:00—You can tell we’re superheroes from our neon-colored hair. 00:00—Burton-Conner hear some slash that will screw with Ice Cream!: Just getting out of the Come be a superhero at East Campus. Come get ferschniken off popcorn your brain? You’ll never look at Lego- event at the Student Center and go- 14:56—The clap activated sprinklers didn’t work. We need clap and soda while we watch Blazing las the same way again… ing back to your dorm? Grab some Saddles, Robin Hood: Men in Tights, mines. ice cream at Baker House before you Spaceballs, and The Producers 16:16—Safety is everything. Come protect your head at EAsT cam- 13:00 head back. 00:00—Next House PUS. 13:00—Senior Haus Make Your Own Pizza: Learn to fight 18:17—Who would you prefer, Big James, Little James, or Creepy Haus tours @ Senior Haus Lobby. Wednesday off those midnight hunger pangs Uncle James. Come find out at EAsT camPUS. Come to Senior Haus! Make your with the most complete food group… September 1 parents nervous! 18:54—Freshman rush last only a week, but your mistakes will last pizza! Bring Your Own Appetite. forever at EAsT camPUS. 13:17—Random Hall 17:00 Last Meal Buffet- The Texas depart- 19:29—Fred’s Law of Design: the design which works will be the one 03:00 17:00—New House ment of Corrections lists the last made when hallucinating from sleep deprivation. New House 5: Starcraft and Stuff: 03:17—Random Hall meals of the inmates it executed 19:47—Offensive: you keep on saying that word, but we do not think Some guys like sc2. Come play with RHOP-Breakfast at 4 AM. Question from 2003 back. Come find out what it means what you think it means. is, is it really early or really late? you would eat if you were about to them and learn a little bit about new 20:15—Longer, harder, thicker, come check out the size of EAsT cam- die (and then eat it!). house 5. I think its like a tradition PUS’s wood. 08:00 or somethin that we play starcraft. I 20:51—Come sketch on the frosh. All you need is ‘love’ at EAsT cam- 08:00—Next House don’t really get it but you can come PUS. Weary Waffles: Tired of REX yet? If and play. Anyone of any skill level 21:02—Joe G: If he seems to care, you’ve probably annoyed him. not, come to Next Dining and grab Factoid can come, Don’t do that. some breakfast before another busy 17:00—MacGregor day-- more fresh waffles will be pro- 21:41—Who needs a zoo when you have wildlife like us? (Especially Students in the Phoe- Fondue @ MacGregor: Lottery choic- vided! tshen2) nix group are seeding es may be in, but that doesn’t mean 08:30—Phoenix Group REX is over! Come to MacGregor for 22:07—What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen freshman? De- a culture for the dorm Breakfast with Really Awesome Juice delicious fondue, cookies, and fruit! pends on how hard you throw them. (tm) and other deliciousness @ in renovation at W1. 22:41—Destroying innocence since 1699. NW35 2nd Floor Lounge: Pretty self- Some might graduate 18:00 23:16—Our wood is bent in just the right way. explanatory. before ever moving in. 18:00—Dormitory Council 08:30—McCormick Hall Housing Lottery Results Released! Saturday, August 28 Enjoy a hearty breakfast in the McC Check the lottery website for your 04:42—“Nibblets” it’s just such a fun word. So is “yams”. country kitchen, before heading off 14:00 new dorm assignment! 06:00—As phallic as you want it to be. to participate in today’s Institute- 14:00—Phoenix Group 07:12—By our powers combine, we killed Captain Planet! wide events. Science Jeopardy! @ NW35 2nd Floor 19:00 Lounge: What is the science geek’s 14:02—Don’t fuck up kids, don’t ever fuck up. 09:00 favorite game show? Join us for an 19:00—Dormitory Council 15:51—“You lookin at me? Are you looking at me?” Come find out 09:00—New House exciting, brain exhausting and chal- Report to your final dorm assign- who he’s looking at at EAsT camPUS. Breakfast: American Style: Come join lenging game of Jeopardy! with a ment for in-house room assign- 16:59—tshen2: So asian he’ll love you long time. (at EAsT camPUS) New House for an American style twist. ments. Many dorms have very spe- 19:12—Come find out what’s under Hat Mike’s hat. breakfast complete with scrambled 14:00—Burton-Conner cific activities for rooming, so be sure 00:01—Are you worthy of our attention? Probably not, but feel free to eggs, hash browns and sausage! Free Burgers and Hot-dogs, good to show up! try at EAsT camPUS. 09:00—Burton-Conner music, and good company. You Breakfast! That’s pretty much all you know the drill Thursday, Sunday, August 29 need to know. 14:00—Senior Haus September 2 00:24—If your wood stays erect for more than 24 hours, please con- Story time @ Senior Haus Lobby. Lis- tact the safety office. 10:00 ten to current residents and crufty al- 09:00 01:12—Eyeball once, cut 112 times. 10:00—Next House ums tell tall tales of their times at the haus. Includes such classics as “This 09:00—Dormitory Council 02:00—Ass pistons Ferarri and their campusfood and jagat and pret- Memorial Drive Marathon: Everyone one time we taped pubes to that girl’s If you’re moving out of your dorm ty high school bullshit knows that Next House is one of the you MUST check out of your old farthest dorms from campus… learn door” and “Remember that time we 09:00—The best part of waking up is evil demonic penguins. room and into your new room. Vans how to make the trek FUN! Bring a colored for KenKen?” and transportation will be provided 16:00—East Campus has History! Geography! Biology! Tshen2 used few friends or spontaneously aggre- 14:17—Random Hall to help you move. More information to give tours, now he’s too old for that shit. gate into teams for a Dorm Row scav- 3D Twister-We wanted to do it in 4D, 16:16—He’s named Hat Mike because he always wears a hat. What enger hunt! As always, refreshments but the Transdimensional Build- will be available to you via email the you don’t know is that he wears one on both heads. will be present. ing Committee wouldn’t approve. 3 night before. boards, 3 Dimensions, 5242880 more 16:46—Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you were sup- 14:00 posed to be at EAsT camPUS three hours ago. 11:00 ways to get tangled up. 19:41—We didn’t start the fire, we merely accelerated it. 11:00—New House 14:00—MacGregor 15:00 MacGregor Grill-Out: Move-in day 20:34—Like Spandex, it’s not good for your junk. German House: Apples to Apples: Just a fun, relaxed round of Apples to 15:00—Senior Haus is never fun, so come down to the 20:56—In soviet EAsT camPUS, noise complaint is about you! Apples for you and your newfound Sport Death @ Senior Haus. Only life MacGregor pits and enjoy some 23:05—Don’t worry, if you pee yourself on the coaster, Romain wins REX friends. Some lunch food avail- can kill you. fresh burgers and hot dogs! Upper- $5 dollars. able. 15:17—Random Hall classmen MacGregor residents will Monday, August 30 11:17—Random Hall Random: The Gathering-Ever want- be around so you can come mingle Legos-Come relive your childhood ed to cast Global Thermonuclear and get to know us! Welcome to the 01:00—We are so tired, we are sleeping on our giant rat. Our giant as you build legos together… oh wait Warfare? The Wizards of the Dorm dorm! blue rat. Our giant blue Japanese rat. 01:59—Who the FUCK posted that on YouTube! 02:00—Come see the results of our forced sleep deprivation experiment. Subject name: Hat Mike. 04:00—Why am I the only one still writing these things? I don’t even live here any more... 04:32—Our cats are cooler than you. 06:27—Hat Mike is a delicate flower, come take his flower at EAsT camPUS. 08:19—Where the consequences will never be the same 14:00—Can’t cook? East Campus will feed you when you are sad and hungry. 14:50—The five fundamental forces: Strong, Weak, Electromagne- tism, Gravity, and Sexual Tension. 16:12—Come to Dinner at the Dorms @EAsT camPUS. Oh wait, it’s been cancelled. 19:49—See we can be inoffensive. This entry contains no profanity. 23:59—Come with us if you want to live. McCormick Hall Fun fun fun fun fun Fu n fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun FUN FUN FUN FUN fun The Tech 13 Tech The Loos or Baker Loos pain Suffered month Hebrew Southern constellation Marino Ex-QB Simian Affirmative 44 45 47 50 51 52 53

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Banking, Online FREE e-Statements and Banking, Mobile Loans Student more! And much much, Totally FREE Checking Account Checking FREE Totally MasterCard Debit a Visa for Apply than a chronicle of Liz’s spiritual journey post-divorce. journey spiritual of Liz’s than a chronicle Not enlightening: enlightening: Not cu.org - Technology Square - Technology online: or go call on, visit us on campus, ti s Ave. tt In In Indonesia, during the final part of her Although the movie ends on a happy hhh✩✩ Love Pray, Eat, Murphy Ryan by Directed Billy Roberts, Julia Starring and Franco James Drudup, Bardem Javier playing Now Both of them try to overcome their own private sorrows through meditation. Richard is a rough but supporting fellow American who challenges Liz to face her past and overcome her burdens. - Indo in truth and love both finds Liz journey, nesia. She visits the medicine man again and falls in love with the Brazilian businessman Felipe (Javier Bardem). The film climaxes in the Indonesia portion as Liz is forced to con- front and challenge her notions of oneself. ‘discover’ to means really it balancewhat and note, the overall ambience is mellow since there are many characters that have hurt and been are trying to overcome Julia scars. their emotional their healing crisis, life own Roberts is luminous as ever but the movie fails to capture the emotional weight of the original book. The (Javier Felipe when as such movie scenes, new solid provides many Bardem) displays his love for his son — cry- ing and hugging him tightly after the end of a quick spring break. The cinematography is also well done with pleasing scenic views. Overall, Eat Pray Love is a piece crafted of solidly Hollywood comedy. a not but romantic, is film Murphy’s entertainment. Ryan It is charming but not inspirational. It is en- tertaining but not artistic and touching but not moving. - - - 84 Massachuse

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After After leaving Italy, Liz spends most of her In In Italy, Liz takes private Italian classes. This This is the opening scene of the movie At age 32, At Gilbert was successful as a writ Eat Pray Eat Love is Pray a of adaptation movie the

Texas Texas (Richard) played by Richard Jenkins. ity. There she meets another American from most most favorite ashram to find spiritual- time in India staying in her ex-boyfriend’s to recognize. recognize. to in in the which movie, makes those cities hard Italy, Italy, Rome and even Naples look very clean a a reservation in a nearby Italian restaurant. for for pasta. Lucky are those who already have the the great Italian food raises your appetite and enjoy life. Watching Liz indulge in all She She makes many friends, learns how to cook same impact. impact. same its its very but essence it quite have the doesn’t as as possible to the original book to capture the the movie adaptation tries to stay as close her her balance in Indonesia (“Love”). Overall, tuality tuality in India (“Pray”) and ultimately finds food in Italy (“Eat”), taps into her inner spiri- and Indonesia. and She Indonesia. enjoys her life and good spends a total of one year traveling Italy, India Italy, traveling year one of total a spends After eventually finalizing her divorce, Gilbert Gilbert divorce, her finalizing eventually After Roberts stars in the film as Elizabeth Gilbert. adaption adaption directed by Ryan Murphy. Julia some time studying together in Bali. Bali. in together studying time some travelling the world and travelling that they will spend manner manner that she would spend the next year man who told her in a self-fulfilling prophecy who told her in a self-fulfilling man There There she met a medicine ninth-generation to to Bali to write an article on yoga vacations. alone again. During that time she was sent loved loved her, but was unhappy with her mar ended shortly afterwards and Gilbert was er. She er. had a nice home and a husband who riage. After a painful divorce from her hus band, she started The affair a affair. romantic crisis and finding personal balance again. again. balance crisis personal finding and the same title. It’s the a same story title. It’s of a overcoming life bestselling memoir by Elizabeth Gilbert of

Ryan Murphy’s film adaptation lacks the emotional weight of the acclaimed memoir. acclaimed weight of the the emotional adaptation film lacks Murphy’s Ryan at, pray, love, whatever love, pray, Eat,

Film Review 2010 27, August Friday, 16 The Tech Friday, August 27, 2010

Police Log Aafia Siddiqui’s Afghanistan arrest The following incidents were reported to the Campus Police between April 19 and May 31. The dates below confirmed by Wikileak’d report reflect the dates the incidents occurred. This information is compiled from the Campus Police’s crime log. The additional related material. The woman report does not include alarms, general service calls, or incidents not reported to the dispatcher. also had unknown chemical materials sealed The August 2008 arrest of Aafia in containers in her purse. A great deal of the evidence is in English. According Feb 2 Bldg. NW22 (185 Albany St.), 4:21 p.m., person reports vehicle plates were stolen. Siddiqui ’95 in by the Afghanistan to documents found on the thumb drive the National Police in Ghazni, Af- woman may be western educated (12 years in suspicious activity in vestibule. Apr 30 Bldg. W20 (84 Massachusetts Ave.), 6:30 the US), an MIT graduate with a bachelors ghanistan was confirmed in a U.S. in Biology and a masters/PHD in Neurosci- Apr 19 Bldg. E52 (52 Memorial Dr.), 11:00 a.m., p.m., party states room broken into and ence. The woman is currently being held Army intelligence report released by ANP in Ghazni City and has not been report of stolen bike. money stolen. questioned by US forces as of yet. The by wikileaks.org. evidence has been collected and cataloged Apr 21 Bldg. W16 (48 Massachusetts Ave.), 2:04 May 1 Bldg. 14 (160 Memorial Dr.), 4:00 p.m., by 1-506 S2. The Governor of Ghazni has p.m., female issued trespass warning. larceny of bike. The leaked report itself, avail- personally questioned at which point the able online at http://wardiary. suspect admitted to being there with the Apr 20 Bldg. 33 (125 Massachusetts Ave.), 3:30 May 1 Bldg. 1 (33 Massachusetts Ave.), 7:40 p.m., intent to kill him and Americans. The Gov- wikileaks.org/afg/event/2008/07/ ernor intends to hold a press conference p.m., larceny of phone. detective reports larceny of bike. in the morning. President Karzi has been AFG20080718n1405.html, con- notified by the Ghazni Governor. Apr 23 Bldg. W84 (550 Memorial Dr.), 12:00 a.m., May 2 Bldg. E55 (60 Wadsworth St.), 3:56 a.m., UPDATE: 18 1300Z, WHILE BEING QUESTIONED, firms some of the more bizarre THE FEMALE GOT A HOLD OF A WEAPON, POINTED stolen Utah license plate. report of domestic disturbance. THE WEAPON AT THE INVESTIGATORS AND AN IN- Apr 23 Bldg. 24 (60 Vassar St.), 11:15 p.m., report May 2 Bldg. W20 (84 Massachusetts Ave.), 12:00 aspects of Siddiqui’s arrest: VESTIGATOR SHOT THE FEMALE IN SELF PROTEC- TION. FEMALE WILL BE MEDEVACED TO ORGUN-E. of person crawling through vents in a.m., bike stolen. Reference ID AFG20080718n1405 FEMALE WILL BE ESCORTED BY 4 X RED CURRAHEE SCOUTS AND 2 X FBI AGENTS. bathroom. Warning issued. May 3 Bldg. 13 (105 Massachusetts Ave.), 5:00 Region RC EAST THIS EVENT IS STILL OPEN, CURRENTLY CON- DUCTING AN INVESTIGATION. Apr 24 Bldg. NW35 (235 Albany St.), 8:35 p.m., p.m., report bike was stolen. Latitude 33.55008316 SUMMARY: ARREST MM(E) 07-18D report of two suspicious persons who stole May 4 Bldg. W51 (410 Memorial Dr.), 11:00 a.m., Longitude 68.42329407 EVENT CLOSED AT 2006Z Date Type Report key: 389D588F-AC1C-7149- bike seat near NW35. Officers respond, party states laptop stolen from his room. 9F8D2AE15A722142 2008-07-18 15:03 Friendly Action Tracking number: Michael Emslie of Needham, MA, taken May 4 Bldg. W35 (100 Vassar St.), 5:45 p.m., Detained 20080718153042SVC4646312421 Category Affiliation Detained Attack on: FRIEND into custody on an outstanding warrant. larceny of wallet. Complex atack: FRIEND 1 Reporting unit: TF Currahee SIGACT Man- Apr 24 Bldg. W20 (84 Massachusetts Ave.), 1:30 May 4 West Garage (125 Vassar St.), 7:45 p.m., 42SVC 46463 12421 ager S-3 p.m., person came to station to report motor vehicle broken into with items UNIT: TF RED CURRAHEE GHAZNI ANP Unit name: TF RED CURRAHEE TYPE: ARREST Type of unit: CF stolen bike. stolen. TIMELINE: Originator group: TF Currahee SIGACT AT 1530Z, While leaving work, Ghazni ANP Manager S-3 Apr 28 Bldg. W4 (320 Memorial Dr.), 9:00 a.m., May 4 Bldg. 26 (60 Vassar St.), trespass issued to colonel Ghani Khan and his security detail Updated by group: 101 Bridge SIGACTS discovered a woman and teenage boy after Manager report of suspicious activity. Person given two homeless individuals. dark loitering/acting suspicious IVO the MGRS: 42SVC4646312421 Ghazni Governors Compound. Upon question- CCIR: trespass warning. May 5 Bldg. W20 (84 Massachusetts Ave.), 3:45 ing, the woman did not respond to Dari or Sigact: Apr 29 Bldg. W20 (84 Massachusetts Ave.), 6:00 p.m., attempted larceny of a bike. Pashtu and appeared to only speak Urdu. DColor: BLUE The woman began to react abnormally and p.m., larceny of bike. scream Allah Akhbar when ANP officers ap- proached her. As she was being restrained, Siddiqui was convicted on sev- Apr 30 Bldg. W79 (229 Vassar St.), 5:00 p.m., COMPILED BY Joseph Maurer papers from her purse fell on the ground some of which containing the word bomb. en charges, including murder, in The woman was taken in for questioning at the ANP HQ in Ghazni City. A search of her February and is currently await- personal items revealed a purse containing numerous documents on how to build explo- ing sentencing. sives, chemical weapon use, targeting US military assets, excerpts from the Anar- — John A. Hawkinson chists Arsenal and a 1GB thumb drive with Bose is pleased to o er special savings for all students, Berenson’s parole employees and retirees of M.I.T. revoked in Peru By Simon Romero The New York Times; Aug. 18, 2010

® CARACAS, Venezuela — A Pe- Receive savings on most Bo se products, including the acclaimed ruvian court said Wednesday that it ® had struck down a decision granting Wave music system, home entertainment systems, headphones, parole to Lori Berenson, the former MIT student imprisoned in the 1990s and solutions for today’s most popular portable music devices. on charges of collaborating with a Marxist revolutionary group. The court ordered her to be returned to prison to complete the five years left in her 20-year sentence. The decision was an abrupt turn- about for Berenson, 40, who turned herself in after the announcement, according to the U.S. Embassy in Lima, Peru’s capital. Berenson with- Paolo Aguilar—EPA drew from MIT as a sophomore in ® 1988. role to Berenson, and that it would After 14 1/2 years in Peruvian ultimately be up to her whether Be- prisons, including time spent in renson and her son would remain in isolation in high-altitude Andean prison. Bose Wave® music system – SoundLink® facilities, Berenson was released on “The main reason for this is in the parole in May when a judge decided issue of her domicile,” Gonzalez said. that she had exhibited good behavior Berenson’s parents, Rhoda and during her incarceration. Mark, said their daughter’s parole had Berenson had a son while in pris- been “annulled on a technicality” that on about a year ago, another factor they hoped could be sorted out. QuietComfort 15 ® thought to have weighed on the deci- “We are still in an unsure posi- Acoustic Noise Cancelling ®headphones sion to grant her parole. She and her tion,” they said in an e-mail. son, Salvador, who had lived with her Berenson learned of the deci- in prison since his birth, had recently sion while she was at the embassy in moved into a rented apartment in Lima, where she was at a previously ® Miraflores, an upscale district of scheduled consular meeting, an of- Lima where she was planning to live ficial at the embassy said. and work as a baker. “This was a Peruvian judicial pro- But the Peruvian court said it cess,” James Fennell, a spokesman voided her parole because there were for the embassy, said in a statement. discrepancies in the addresses Be- “Berenson voluntarily turned herself renson had provided for her planned in today to Peruvian authorities in or- residence. der to comply with the court’s order. Beyond the court’s official rea- With her consent, she was picked up soning, it was also clear that broad at the embassy this afternoon by Pe- resentment over the release of Be- ruvian authorities.” renson – who is widely viewed in Berenson’s lawyer, Anibal Apari, ® Peru as a symbol of the insurgents told local reporters that Berenson Computer MusicMonitor and the war against them that cost had made no effort to flee the coun- nearly 70,000 lives between 1980 and try, despite disagreeing with the 2000 – influenced the decision. court’s decision. Apari, a former “Berenson was sent to prison rebel who is the father of Berenson’s for 20 years, and she only served 14 son, said she and Salvador would re- years, five months and 25 days,” said turn to prison. In Peru, children are Luis Marill del Aguila, an official allowed to remain with their mother in Peru’s Justice Ministry who an- until age 3 if the mother is incarcer- nounced the court’s ruling. ated. “She hasn’t even served three- Apari also questioned the court’s fourths of her sentence,” said Marill decision to base its ruling on doubts del Aguila, adding that Berenson’s surrounding information about Be- Please direct all inquiries to the “M.I.T. Purchase Program.” immediate arrest had been ordered. renson’s address. The Justice Ministry said in a “Everyone knows where she statement that the court’s decision lives,” he said. reversing her parole could not be ap- She was initially arrested in 1995 pealed. in Peru while enmeshed with mem- 1-800 -298-BOSE But Guillermo Gonzalez, a bers of the Tupac Amaru Revolution- (2673) spokesman for Peru’s Supreme ary Movement. Court, said the case would return to Andrea Zarate contributed report- ©2010 Bose Corporation. Patent rights issued and/or pending. Delivery is subject to product availability. Judge Jessica Leon, who granted pa- ing from Lima, Peru. Friday, August 27, 2010 The Tech 17

Crossing at W59 to increase safety Police concerned about people crossing tracks, climbing over railcars Railroad crossing, from Page 1 near the W59 crossing. But neither The safety concerns regarding Supply Chain Strategy

Vossmer nor Campus Police Cap- the unofficial crossing were thrown muter Rail will continue to be es- tain Jay A. Perault feel that more into relief in the last week of July, Graduate students interested in supply chain strategy are invited to enroll sential after the new pedestrian crime happens there than other when a CSX train operator called in a series of two half-term courses, designed to impart the latest thinking crossing is built. “Once we have a locations on campus. the MIT Police reporting close in the supply chain strategy domain. The material was developed at MIT's fully signalized crossing, train cars “We are more concerned about calls of people walking in front Center for Transportation and Logistics, by the Supply Chain 2020 Project parked on the spur will have to it being dark and someone falling, of approaching trains. The MIT team, according to the 'strategy as practice' school of thought. Each be separated in order to maintain twisting their ankle, and hitting police responded by locking the session combines theoretical discussion with hands-on exercises. The cases the new pedestrian crossing,” said their head than getting attacked,” fence. Many students starting hop- Combs. Perault said. ping the fence, and by Thursday, used in class are based on real problems of actual companies, which are For students, this means no The crossing may be well August 6, the gate’s bottom hinge presented and discussed using real data. more having to climb over or under needed if more trains start passing had been partially disassembled, train cars to cross the railroad track. through campus. Massachusetts letting all through. After The Tech ESD.931 Supply Chain Strategy: Improving Functional Alignment (Units: 3- “There have been people who Lieutenant Governor Tim Mur- brought the fence’s condition to 0-3; First Half.) Students will learn through practice specific techniques to have climbed on top of or un- ray has spoken publicly about a the police’s attention, MIT Police capture, evaluate and reformulate a supply chain strategy, improving, der trains to cross,” said Sergeant proposed plan to add more round unlocked the gate, and the gate has among other things, its alignment with the business strategy. Cheryl Vossmer. So far, there have trips between Worcester and Bos- since remained unlocked. been no reported injuries result- ton via commuter rail, and half of Captain Jay Perault said that he ing from climbing over or under these additions could cross the does not endorse students cross- ESD.932 Supply Chain Strategy: Preparing for the Future (Units: 3-0-3; parked trains blocking the way. Charles River and run through ing there because it is not safe, Second Half.) Students will learn a systematic approach to uncover Campus Police Chief John Di- Cambridge up to North Station “but are we going to lock it so that assumptions and biases by developing mental maps and to use scenario Fava said: “I’d be a big advocate through MIT’s campus. people can’t cross? No.” thinking to prepare a firm’s supply chain strategy for step changes. for a crossing. There’s a crossing at “If the MBTA or their contract Currently, there are renova-

Fort Washington, and the next one operator (MBCR) run passenger tions to replace railroad ties on is all the way down by Mass Ave.” trains from Worcester or Framing- the tracks. Students will not be al- Schedule: Tue & Thu / 1:00-2:30 pm - Room: E51-057 He added, “students are always in ham to North Station, then yes lowed to cross through the work- Instructors: Dr. Mahender Singh, Director SC2020 Project. a hurry; time is of the essence here, [there will be more trains crossing area. Dr. Roberto Perez-Franco. Shardul Phadnis (PhD Candidate). so I can understand why students ing through campus],” said Kelley According to Melody Craven, would want to make that shortcut. Brown, a senior project manager communications assistant for We’re just concerned about safety.” at Facilities. Brown said that Mur- MIT Facilities, the Massachusetts Also in the area is CASPAR, ray’s plans will not affect the plans Bay Commuter Rail began work Cambridge’s only homeless shel- for the construction of legal pe- at the Charles River near the BU Eating Disorder Treatment ter that takes in people while they destrian crossing. Bridge on Friday, August 13 and are intoxicated. In response to In the meantime, the MIT po- will finish at Main Street near the Treatment of Adults Suffering from safety concerns, an emergency lice does not plan on locking the beginning of September. At night, Anorexia and Bulimia Nervosa tower with a blue light and tele- gate to prevent students from the equipment is being stored by Informed clinicians refer their clients to phone were installed last year crossing the railroad tracks. the tracks west of NW30. Laurel Hill Inn. LHI provides the most effective treatment and deploys the highest staff-to-client ratio in New England. We Superior Court. and exclude evidence, and mo- provide extensive programming in a highly Anna Tang Tang’s trial was halted on June tions by the Commonwealth for structured and supervised non-institutional 30 after the Commonwealth’s expert additional discovery. therapeutic setting. Evening, day, and residential treatment as well as update today psychiatrist Alison Fife, who had Tang had previously waived her weekly support groups in West Medford and West Somerville. Call declared that Tang was not crimi- right to a jury, but because of the Linda at 781 396-1116 or visit www.laurelhillinn.com. The next update in the saga of nally responsible for her actions, psychiatrist’s change of opinion, it Anna L. Tang, the Wellesley stu- suddenly changed her mind. is likely that Tang will now choose dent who stabbed MIT student The judge today is expected to to have a jury trial. Wolfe B. Styke ’10 in October 2007, schedule a trial and rule on sev- This status conference was re- will come today at an administra- eral motions filed in the past two scheduled from last week, because SPERM DONORS tive status conference before Jus- months, including motions by the the judge was not available. tice Bruce R. Henry in Middlesex defense to change bail conditions — John A. Hawkinson Earn up to Gym security cameras to deter crime? per month As staff get cut, mounted eyes substitute for people on the ground at Z-Center DAPER cameras, from Page 1 kept confidential and available for a need for protection in an urban en- Invest minimal time only a brief period of time. vironment and that several patrons Make a real difference in the lives of families but two of these locations have been Martin noted that thefts at the have asked him to increase security. Receive free health and genetic screenings under surveillance since 2000. Ac- athletic centers have declined 2000, To that end, the Department of Ath- cording to Daniel Martin, the assis- when the cameras were first in- letics, Physical Education and Recre- APPLY ONLINE: tant department head for facilities stalled and other security measures ation (DAPER) may end up commis- and operations, advancements in like alarms were implemented. sioning additional security cameras, technology motivated the replace- He also emphasized that there is including one for the weight room. SPERMBANK.com ment of these cameras with newer - convenient Cambridge location models. The new cameras also happen to be more obvious. Martin said that these cameras are intended to enhance both personal safety and security as the staff size shrinks. For example, when staff were withdrawn from near the duPont equipment room, some THE complained that the area could become a crime target because of its isolated location. Footage from such locations can be viewed by staff back at the main entrance to the Z-Center. This differs from the typical viewing policy for security cameras at MIT. Elsewhere on campus, there is a firm policy that MIND AND HAND footage obtained by the cameras be

Solution to Crossword from page 13 BOOK MIT Policies and Resoures in ONE place.

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LEGAL COUNSEL MIT students, family, employers and W20-507 start-ups seeking U.S. legal counsel, Office of Student Citizenship campus or oﬃce consultation. Call: 617.253.7848 Division of Student Life James Dennis Leary, Esq. [email protected] 321-544-0012 18 The Tech Friday, August 27 2010 Waiting for NIH’s and DOJ’s take on stem cell ruling Stem cells, from Page 1 hear from the NIH as well as the Association of American Universi- genome control.” ties. Another e-mail was sent out Young said he was prepared to after NIH Director Collins spoke to leave the problem in the hands of reporters, indicating existing grants politicians and legislators — at least could continue their research. for now. If he were to engage in lob- Christy said that the Association bying and trying to find funding, he of American Universities and the said, he would not be doing his job Council on Governmental Relations as a biologist. were expected to issue a statement At MIT, affected scientists in- soon on the importance of federal clude Langer and Young, as well as funding of stem cell research professors Rudolph Jaenisch and Scientists are still waiting to hear Daniel G. Anderson, all of whom from the NIH. Collins indicated have NIH funding for stem cell Tuesday that direction would be is- work. While their current work may sued in the NIH Guide, probably late proceed, they operate under multi- Tuesday, but as of Thursday night, year grants that are subject to yearly that has still not yet happened. NIH renewals, and those renewals can- Andrew Swayze—The Tech spokeswoman Jenny Haliski had no not happen while the injunction Postdoctoral researcher Jill M. Dowen pipettes in the Whitehead Institute lab of Professor Richard A. further information. remains in force. Young. Young’s lab works with human embryonic stem cells, mapping the regulatory circuitry that controls On Tuesday, White House Dep- “The whole thing is really unfor- development in humans. The lab receives substantial funding from the National Institutes of Health. uty Press Secretary Bill Burton said tunate,” Anderson said. “There are “from what we can tell, this would so many important problems in the ment of Health and Human Services best research,” Anderson said. they are waiting for more details. also stop the research that President world, why would you spend your in August 2009, alleging that the use “Those decisions are hard. They Michelle D. Christy, director of Bush had allowed to go forward time trying to stop research that’s of federal funds to support research ought to be made through peer re- the Office of Sponsored Programs, early in his presidency. So we’re trying to help people? I understand where embryos are destroyed was view.” said that the NIH was waiting to exploring all possible avenues to there are religious motivations … I illegal. Sherley was an associate profes- hear interpretations of the law from make sure that we can continue to think if people really understood The suit was originally dismissed sor at MIT until he was denied ten- the Department of Justice. do this critical lifesaving research.” what these cells were — it’s not like by the judge in October, when he ure in spring 2007. He alleged that Christy expressed worry about Both legislative and judicial rem- any embryos are going to be de- ruled that the plaintiffs lacked racism was a factor, and staged a renewals of NIH grants that are now edies appear to be on the table. stroyed on an ongoing basis.” An- standing to sue, because they were hunger strike in protest. Sherley is expected to be on hold. “My hope is The Department of Justice plans derson noted that human embryos not injured by the NIH policy. now a senior scientist at the Boston that NIH will figure out some way to to appeal the preliminary injunction are destroyed on a regular basis as Sherley and the other plaintiffs Biomedical Research Institute. look at these things on a case-by- and to move for a stay, and that will part of in vitro fertilization. appealed and in June, the appeals At MIT, individual researchers case basis,” she said. “There may be likely be filed today, according to “Is their mission to stop people court ruled that Sherley and Deish- working with stem cells uniformly stem cell work that’s already done, DOJ spokeswoman Tracy Schmaler from doing important research?” er did have standing to sue (though condemned the situation, but there where we’re dealing with the re- on Tuesday. Anderson asked. the other plaintiffs did not), and re- was been no similar response from sults. I would hope they would con- Lamberth could rule on a mo- Monday’s injunction was issued manded the case back to the district MIT’s senior administration. tinue that work.” tion for a stay as early as hours by Chief Judge Royce C. Lamberth court for further proceedings. Claude R. Canizares, vice presi- The Washington office has been or days after its filing, said Court of United States District Court for Sherley and his counsel did not dent for research and associate pro- e-mailing a group of MIT NIH grant spokeswoman Jenna Gatski. the District of Columbia, in James respond to calls for comment. Ac- vost, said in an e-mail Wednesday recipients throughout the week. The A previous version of this article Sherley, et al, v. Kathleen Sebelius, cording to court documents, Sher- that MIT was waiting for details and office summarized Monday’s ruling ran on our website on Wednedsay, et al. ley argues that he is harmed by be- would review them. and indicated they were waiting to August 25. James L. Sherley, a former MIT ing forced to compete with other MIT’s Office of Sponsored Pro- professor, and Theresa Deisher, as scientists for limited federal fund- grams is working with the MIT well as several non-scientist plain- ing dollars. Washington DC office to understand tiffs sued the NIH and the Depart- “The funding should go to the MIT’s response, but like everyone, Why are stem cells important? The Tech asked Biology professor Richard A. Young to explain why stem cell research is important. In an e-mail, Young wrote: “There is another important aspect of stem cell research that is not appreciated by the public, mostly because it is too technical. Much of human disease is due to embryonic regulatory processes gone wrong. That is, cancer and many other diseases involve inap- propriate activation or repression of regulatory pathways that are engaged in embryonic cells during early development. So new understanding of embryonic pathways frequently gives new insights into human diseases. “For example, using embryonic stem cells, we discovered (and reported in Cell this last April) how a master regulator of cellular pro- liferation — an oncogene called Myc — functions to control prolifera- tion, and this has led to new efforts to develop a novel class of drugs against cancer here at MIT and at Harvard. As another example, Na- ture just published (advance online publication on Aug.18) an article from my lab reporting our discovery that gene control is connected to chromosome architecture, a fundamental discovery involving an ap- paratus that is mutated in a variety of developmental diseases. “Embryonic stem cells are not only inherently valuable for re- vealing the secrets behind embryonic regulatory pathways, they are rapidly becoming the cellular workhorse behind much modern biological discovery. In most molecular biological studies, investigators need to grow populations of cells in order to obtain enough cellular material for the assays that we use. Because they grow like weeds, investigators have traditionally studied tumor cells because normal cells are quiescent, so they cannot be grown in adequate amounts for most molecular studies. Tumor cells are defective cells Andrew Swayze—The Tech with badly damaged genomes, so they are a poor model system for Professor Daniel G. Anderson, of the Harvard-MIT Division of Health Sciences and Technology, dis- understanding normal biology. Es cells are normal — they are fully cussed the recent US District Court ruling on human stem cell research with The Tech in his lab yesterday. functional cells with normal genomes that can give us insights into Anderson and other researchers have found the future of funding uncertain because of Monday’s injunction normal cell biology.” restricting the use of federal funds for human stem cell research. Flood traps cars Nearby rooms suffer water damage Flood, from Page 1 placed ages ago.” John L. Gibbs, a supervi- flying into the hallways as he sor in Custodial Services who drove through the underpass specializes in water, said that when the doors on both sides the water pipes “probably go happened to be open. back to 1912, 1920.” “He was driving like 20 The shut off valve was near miles per hour and the water the Rotch Library. Gibbs esti- shot like 200 yards into the mated that at least Buildings 3 building and flooded all the and 5 were without water as a rooms,” said Timothy J. Hen- result of the water shut-off. nelly, a stock clerk for MIT Hennelly suspects that a Facilities. crane which drove through The burst pipe was an old the parking lot at 3:30 p.m. cast iron pipe which sup- yesterday caused the rup- Elijah L. Mena—The Tech plied potable water. ture. He said that the weight A student turns back after trying to cross One facilities worker on of the crane and the vibra- between Buildings 7 and 3 yesterday. Flood- the scene said, “This main is tions of it passing through Elijah L. Mena—The Tech ing water later flowed into the elevator of Build- about as old as the building might have weakened the Gushing water from a burst pipe flooded the parking lot between ing 10. The water also trapped cars. itself. It should have been re- water pipe. buildings 3, 5, and 7. Sports Sports Sp o r t s Sports Sports Sports Sports Sports Sports Sports Sports SporTS - - - The Tech 19 Tech The —David Zhu, Sports Editor —Mindy Brauer, DAPER staff DAPER Brauer, —Mindy The The UFC is an association of on Monday. Benford, who served served who Benford, Monday. on as the Engineers’ head coach for the past five seasons, will be - re turning to Northeastern Univer sity as the associate head coach. Following a three-year stint to back will be going at Hilton MIT, zation’s first-ever event in Boston. in event first-ever zation’s fighters practicing mixed tial arts, mar featuring a wide of range and techniques combat skills, including wrestling, karate, and boxing. Fighters compete in ilovemylibrarian This space donated by The Tech by This space donated ilovelibraries.org/ The Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) (UFC) Championship Fighting Ultimate The The event will culminate with a series of Coaches Coaches Ted Benford and Andy Hilton are During their tenure, Benford and Hilton’s “Through their hard work, technical - knowl will host its annual Fan Expo this weekend at the at weekend this Expo Fan annual its host will Hynes Convention marking Center, the - organi an caged octagonal ring, and score points via grappling. strikes and by bouts on Saturday night. Several of the partici- area, the Boston from are and organizers pants notably fighter Kenny Floria White. Dana and president, the tion’s associa- leaving the lightweight men’s rowing program, program, rowing men’s the lightweight leaving Director of Athletics Julie Soriero announced Dartmouth College, his alma mater, as the as coach. heavyweight sistant crews continuously improved resulting in the closest racing the program had experienced in years. The Cardinal and Gray captured top-10 national seedings in 2008 and 2009 while squad 10th placed at the the lightweight freshman Championship. 2008 EARC Sprints edge and fine character, Ted and Andy built MIT’s lightweight men’s crew into a cohesive and successful team,” associated “Everyone of rowing. director MIT’s said Tony Kilbridge, with the program will miss them and them the best.” wishes UFC Fan Expo coming coming Expo Fan UFC to Boston sports shorts sports Lightweight crew coaches down step Librarians in our nation’s 123,000 libraries make 123,000 libraries in our nation’s Librarians of millions of people in the lives a difference shine the to chance is your Now everyday. school, public, your at on a librarian spotlight library! or university community college college, a) Darnell McDonald’s debut debut McDonald’s a) Darnell single) HR,(game-tying walk-off the 27 year-old Nava, b) Daniel up, gave who never outfielder in his first slam crushing a grand League at-bat Major at- homer in his first Lowell’s c) the trade/injury after saga bat Kevin Youkilis: Youkilis is the fiery first first fiery the is Youkilis Youkilis: Kevin Lester:Jon The Red Sox ace of the past Despite Despite the ongoing sellout streak, 3) Imagine what the fourth-place Blue Jays would do if they were in League. the National Three thoughtsThree for the diehards 162 throw Bard Daniel can’t Why 1) Sox Red The year? each innings relievers more usecould a bunch will him; like just Doubront maybe year. be the answer next me gave that moments 2) Three this season:chills physical limitations to become one of to become the limitations physical best second basemen in the league. baseman who bears the load on offense. Lauded since his college days for his - abil on swinging by only base” at se- ity to “get player a into developed has he pitches, lect with bona fide power and incredible de- the on makes he move Every skills. fensive field is greeted with a “Yooooouuuuuuk” from the fans. It sounds like he is being booed, but in fact, fans are showing their for Youk. appreciation few years, he came back from 2007 the cancer in game clinching the in win to 2007 World Series. Along with Clay Buchholz, Lester is a prime example of the Red Sox’s prospects young in investments successful process. development player and superb tickets tickets have become over the more years. For most games, accessible you can walk up and tickets at purchase the gate. For standing room tickets, expect to pay about $20. Avoid the right stand, where $30 will give field you an old seat - grand upper The field. left into straight faces that bleachers ($12) are the cheapest seats in the park but are not advisable if you want to follow the game. I would recommend paying the extra few bucks for the lower bleachers ($28). Catching a game atop from the Green Monster, the fabled left- field wall, is a great experience for a die- hard Sox fan but costs upwards of $100. Gates open two hours before the game, and players will take batting practice up until forty-five minutes before the scheduled start. If you are aggressive (or lucky) autograph an get or ball a catch might you from a player during this time. You find can them on television at the New - Eng (NESN). Network Sports land Where find to your team ------Dustin Dustin Pedroia: Pedroia is notorious The end of the championship draught draught end The of the championship of the Team: State Red Sox fans expect to make the - play others, others, won title after title. Improbable errors and botched personnel decisions, rather than general futility and ence, indiffer are generally acknowledged as the reasons for the championship Asdrought. a new Red Sox fan, count yourself lucky to have been initiated during this new era of we hope). least, (at excellence for for his stature, self-confidence, and the skills to match. He is very fans, but this endearing endearment is not easily ex to plained to those on the outside. He speaks He outside. the on those to plained proudly of the numerous home runs he hit in Little League and promotes his bat ting practice sessions as “Laser Shows”. He’ll also do seemingly anything to help perceived overcome has and win team his was was set in motion with the purchase of the Red Sox by a new ownership group at the conclusion of 2002. John Henry, a - previ had investor, fund hedge successful ously been a part owner of the New York Yankees and, subsequently, a owner of the The Florida Marlins. sale of majority the team to Henry from the heirs of long-time the owner, Tom Yawkey, was full of implications. No less than the future of the Sox’ historic ballpark promised Henry while stake; at (opened was 1912) in more a sought others park, the renovate to modern stadium in the Back Bay. To the dismay of some around Boston, Henry’s bid won, and the rebirth of the franchise began. New marketing efforts led to the start of a sellout streak the stadium (every has been ticket bought for a in given and to has setendures game) that records this day; increased revenue and commit even (more) on Sox the put ownership ted In 2004, the Red footing with the Yankees. Sox the finally vanquished curse, turning proceeding and Yankees the on tables the to win the World Series. In 2007, they ac complished the same feat with a largely of characters. cast different offs every plain year, and simple. Howev much this endured haven’t Sox Red the er, bad luck since Mookie Wilson’s - ground ball rolled under Bill effectively losing Buckner’s the glove, 1986 World for the Series Red Sox. The Red Sox play in the toughest division in the superior league, and because of the critical mass of - inju ries the Sox have suffered, they currently They spot. playoff a of out themselves find against September strong very a need will top to competition a grapple spot playoff from the or Yankees Rays. Everyone loves the character of this team and upset few with are players or management save (I’ll the subject of center fielder Jacoby Ellsbury and his “rib injuries” for another “what wondering left be may we but day), entire the for healthy been if” had Sox the season. Names to know to Names Recent past - - By Zach Hynes By Zach

However However you may perceive it, Boston’s In In 1903, the Red Sox conquered the To be a passionate fan of any team is, by is, team any of fan passionate a be To Editor’s Note: Welcome to Note: Welcome Boston! Editor’s Since

like Dimaggio, Mantle, Maris, Jackson, and Jackson, Maris, Mantle, Dimaggio, like kees, first with the Babe and then with stars with then and Babe the with first kees, onship ring. Meanwhile, the hated - Yan none of them came away with a - champi Evans) Evans) took their talents to Beantown, but liams, Jim Rice, Carl Yastrzemski, Dwight Jim liams, Rice, Carl Yastrzemski, baseball baseball legends (Johnny Pesky, Ted - Wil Heat). Heat). For the next 86 years, countless Cavs Cavs would win a title before the Miami when he suggested that the LeBron-less would, in fact, stand the test of time (per Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert had in mind the Curse of the Bambino. The prediction haps this type of curse is what Cleveland time, time, a that came prediction to be called would not win another title within his life- outraged outraged Babe claimed that the Red Sox Babe Babe Ruth, to the New TheYork Yankees. Sox’s Sox’s owner sold the team’s best player, you need know: to you at the of conclusion the 1918 season, the uninitiated, here’s a here’s uninitiated, short guide to what period. fifteenyear However, prosperous a and, for that matter, New England. and, For thefor that matter, first of many that the Sox would win over any any time of the year anywhere in Boston the was championship That season. losing It’s It’s a guaranteed at conversation-starter torture their fans with losing season after the successes and failures of the Red Sox. did not a was the Pirates when time there collective mood is inextricably linked to tional and American Leagues). Indeed, are in the are Super Bowl, the shut Celtics are season. for the next will be ready is contested by the champions of the - Na March, March, regardless of whether the Patriots is concerned about whether the Red Sox ball in North America, the World Series of the Boston Red Sox. toFrom November city the Cup, Stanley the for headed appear Series (to those new to professional base- what what happens at Fenway Park, the home ting down the competition, or the Bruins Pittsburgh Pirates in the first-ever World April April to October, the city is captivated by Boston is not one of those places. From the occasional glance at the TV screen. to to entertain clients and do business, with baseball game is just a place for executivesfor place a just is game baseball indeed, there are plenty of places where a like like a good use of time, energy, or money; MIT students, this probably doesn’t sound sound doesn’t probably this students, MIT suffer suffer right along with it when it loses. To benefits from the team’s victories, but you you but victories, team’s the from benefits vested vested interest. You don’t derive tangible you you have no control and no inherent have have to care about something over which definition, an definition, You emotional experience. ries features... the Red Sox, the Red of course. ries features... each of them. The first installment in the se- the in installment first The them. of each current current state, and future expectations — of presenting presenting an insider’s view — history, such such an integral part of its culture, we’re Beantown’s Beantown’s professional sports teams are

A storied history

Want to be Read this. proper a Bostonian? Want Getting to know the Red the know Sox to Getting

TEAM new Home Your 2010 27, August Friday, 20 The Tech Friday, August 27, 2010

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