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eDITORIAL THE LIVE PRESS Contents Visit our web site & view MEET BOB THE EDITOR & the magazine online Page 20 FRIENDS www.theolivepress.eu What’s News In Spain 6 Can it be True? 10 &30 Beat the credit crunch 9

welcome to the december issue. News from California 28 We would like to wish all our Your Horoscope 11 readers a merry christmas and a Leisure & Entertainment prosperous new year and to thank all our advertisers and contributors for The Lighter Side 14 their support during our first 8 months. Internet trivia ...? 17 Page22 Nature & Animals "Christmas is Coming Christmas was coming News Hounds and more 12 The goose was getting fat Home & Garden So I put it on the Atkins diet Challenges of gardening in Spain 18 And now it's had a heart attack"" Building dictionary 24 please note the deadline for adverts What’s On for the next month is earlier Caganer 20 because of christmas. new deadline 18th. Looking For A Catalan traditions 22 Please contact us by: Business Then Visit Our Business Tio de Nadal 26 Directory Online. See Our Olives & Popcorn 27 Page28 Web Site For Daily Updates E-mail: [email protected] Motoring Biofuel 33 Of Classifieds And Extra Web : www. theolivepress.eu Useful information. Crossword- Spanglish 19 Health & Well Being all advertisers will also be Telephone: 977 059 364 placed in the business directory Yoga for all 16 on our web site and with links By post: Aptdo de Correos,147 Sports Life to their own web sites! 43895 L’Ampolla Hamilton wins world championship 31 Contributors: Nigel Morton | Xavier Milián Call | Clodagh & Dick Handscombe | Dr. Tarragona Property for Sale by Owner 32 Ronald Rosenfeld D.V.M. | Jeff Greensmith Distribution Points 2 | Jason M. Berry | Deadline: 18th of the month Useful info 32 Mike Stevens | Sarah Good | No adverts or artwork in the Olive Press Catalunya Disclaimer: No part of this publication may be Printing: Solprint magazine or web site may be reproduced or used Classifieds 34 reproduced by any means without prior permission Deposito Legal: MA-1565-2008 for print, media or web in part or in their entirety Business Card Directory 36 in writing from the publisher. The Olive Press does COVER PICTURE: without the express permission of the Olive Press not accept responsibility for the contents of the 1920's christmas drawing Catalunya. Adverts and logos remain the property of articles supplied by contributors nor for the claims by chiostri. back cover the magazine . To use any artwork please contact us. made by advertisers 5 traditional4 catalan caganer www.theolivepress.eu news in spain THE LIVE PRESS ing Juan Carlos opens the painted dome at the went to the doctor four years ago with a persistent cough British Consul in the city. His arrest takes the number United Nations headquarters in Geneva.The dome which was eventually diagnosed as serious tuberculosis. of detentions in the Captura 2 campaign to four of the Kwas painted by the Mallorca artist Miquel Barceló When her condition got worse the specialists at the Clinic ten being searched for. Another man, Alan Gordon, at the controversial cost of 20 million Euro, of which Spain Hospital in the city had two options, removing a lung, or has been identified as being already in custody in jail Cash waiting for will pay 40 percent. King Juan Carlos and Queen Sofía have try to repair her windpipe which was seriously obstructed on Mallorca for other crimes committed here in Spain. Tractors been in Geneva to officially open the new painted ceiling and infected. Italian doctor, Paolo Macchiarini, based in Six of the ten therefore remain at large. Details at the Cars in the offices of the Barcelona, came up with the suggestion of the operation webpage www.crimestoppers.es Generators United Nations. which has been described as a ‘medical breakthrough The 1,400 square without precedent’. Using stem cell tissue engineering, ric Idle looks all types of Machinery metre space has and with help from specialists at Bristol University in the on the bright been generously U.K. and others in Padua and Milan, a new windpipe has Eside of life Working or Non Working covered with been created and now put in place. The great advantage in Barcelona. Idle 35,000 kilos of of the procedure is that there is no need for anti rejection went to meet the Most things considered coloured paint. drugs. El Tricicle theatre Of particular criticism was the revelation that 500,000 group who have € of that cost came out of Spanish budgets destined for nother Briton arrested following Crimestoppers done a version Call 977 267 704 development aid. campaign The arrest of Andrew Alderman takes of the musical or 699 336 006 Athe number of those detained in the latest Captura Spamalot. Eric Idle from the Monty Python team has roundbreaking windpipe operation in Barcelona. 2 campaign to four. Another Briton has been arrested been in Barcelona to meet the El Tricicle teatre group A Colombian patient, Italian Surgeon, British in Spain, following the Crimestoppers campaign which and watch their version of the musical ‘Spamalot’, original work. He added that the actors had done a Gresearch and Spanish clinic have worked was launched on the Costa Blanca last week. 49 year old based on the film "Knights of the Round Table". After great job. Asked about the song ‘Always look on the together. Using ground-breaking stem cell technology Andrew Alderman from Canturbury, who already faces a the performance Idle said that although he did not bright side of life’, Idle said he still liked it and noted which has resulted in the Colombian woman, Claudia ten year sentence for the abuse and rape of an underage understand Spanish, and had missed a lot, he could that it is among the top ten songs used at funeral Lorena Castillo, being given a new windpipe at a clinic in girl in the U.K. was arrested yesterday by National Police in see how well the work connected to the public, and services in Britain. He also sang it again recently at Barcelona. She lives in the city with her two children, and Madrid. Reports indicate that he handed himself into the that the directors had caught the enthusiasm of the Prince Charles’s 60th birthday.

6 www.theolivepress.eu 7 news in spain THE ce cream for dogs. A Malaga company is to rown Bear Attacks Hunter A wild we launch an ice cream type product for dogs brown bear, known as Hvala, Ithis Christmas. The product, which uses Battacked a hunter in a forest near will beat the artificial sweetener and an enzyme to reduce Les in the Pyrenees last week causing "credit crunch" together ! intolerance to milk in dogs, will have a range cuts and bruises to the elderly man. of flavours including ham and vanilla. The The bear is thought to be pregnant Your English Supermarket in L'Ametlla de Mar has decided on a new concept to help us all ! company is also to produce ice creams suitable and may be captured and placed in a for athletes, packed with extra vitamins, nearby bear sanctuary, although local "We have decided to remain open because so many people have asked us not to close. We are going to minerals and amino acids. bear enthusiasts believe this to be unnecessary as she has beat the credit crunch by sourcing cheaper brands from the UK (but good quality) and hope that people never before shown aggression. Bears were reintroduced support us. You will still be able to purchase all your old favourites from home but at competitive pricing VE No Longer into the region in 1996 and there are thought to be about similar or less than you can get from Spanish alternatives. Trying to stay below 2 euros to beat the 'credit to Broadcast 20 living there. crunch' , we intend being cheaper than Dia and Spar. " (Inge) TB u l l f i g h t i n g . Spain's national hicken crosses road. The English Supermarket That Brings You All Those Things You Thought You Could Only Get Back Home. broadcaster TVE A chicken, christened A Taste of Home, open now for eight years with a new store in Barcelona for those of you who prefer to announced that it CBienvenida by locals has browse and choose your own shopping plus their new website for those of you who will no longer show managed to survive cars, dogs, don't either have the time or the inclination to do your own shopping and prefer to bullfighting in its cats and all the other hazards have it delivered to your door. schedules. TVE's of urban life by living wild in With so many British foods we're president stated that the busy Carabanchel district of Madrid for over a year. confident that you'll find your favourite the decision was made The bird roosts in a poplar tree in the street and also has food from the UK! three years ago on economic grounds, due to the high another home under a bush where it occasionally lays eggs. Remember they are staying open by production costs and the rejection of the programmes Several residents of the district who bring food for it have request and welcome old and new by advertisers. observed that the bird even looks out for traffic before it customers to their shops. crosses the roads. Buy your Christmas favourites today!

8 can it be true??? THE LIVE PRESS HOROSCOPES Boarding Kennels & Cattery,Gandesa a more detailed horoscopes can be found on our web site Mince pie danger to be assessed Sandra & Terry would like to send CAPRICORN Dec. 22 - Jan. 20 CANCER Jun. 23 - Jul. 22 thanks to all their customers Issues revolving around your family and the You simply can’t wait until the New Year to Organisers have to consider the risk of people and wish them a very Merry Christmas past capture much of your attention this begin fulfilling your resolutions regarding choking on the pies month. While others are racing around you, health, fitness, and lifestyle changes. The & they look forward to looking after preparing for the holidays, you are enjoying time is now! You are raring to go, you have Organisers of a village Christmas party have been your loved ones next year a sense of peace. The last week of the month more energy than usual for work, projects, told they must carry out a risk assessment of their 977 055 027 / 678 970 622 begins a power period that you take with you and anything that involves reorganizing and mince pies - or their festivities will be cancelled. into the New Year. restructuring. He planned a fireworks display, mulled wine, Santa's AQUARIUS Jan. 21 - Feb. 19 LEO Jul. 23 - Aug. 23 Council bosses say posters will have to be displayed grotto and free mince pies made by members of December is ripe with opportunity for The first three weeks of December are at the party in Embsay, in the Yorkshire Dales, Embsay and Eastby Women's Institute. envisioning new projects and goals for your exciting and stimulating for you. This isa warning villagers the pies contain nuts and suet future. Friends, acquaintances, and groups decidedly romantic and creative period for pastry. The cocoa content and temperature of the "It is bureaucracy gone mad", Mr Dobson said. will certainly keep you busy. Romance, you. You have special magnetic appeal, extra hot chocolate must also be checked. however, is mostly quiet until after the 7th, energy, and a real yen for excitement now. "The council gave me a huge list of things we had to when Venus, the goddess of love, enters Creative Leos will be on a roll. do. I wrote back, a little bit tongue in cheek, asking your sign and stays there into the New Year. VIRGO Aug. 24 - Sep. 23 if I really had to risk assess free mince pies and a PISCES Feb. 20 - Mar. 20 A scurry of activity in and around the home brass band, and they said yes. In most ways, it is a high profile month for or with family is in store for you this month. you, except for on a romantic level, which is You are busy with preparations, repairs, and "Everything we do, from putting tinsel up to satisfyingly private. Secrets are revealed— re-organizing—and enjoying every minute of providing refreshments has to be assessed. We and revealing. Intense energy comes from a it! It’s a fabulous time to get your “nest” in have to consider the dangers involved, that friend in the last week of the month. order and functioning smoothly. someone might choke on their mince pie or have ARIES Mar. 21 - Apr. 20 LIBRA Sept. 24 - Oct. 23 a nut allergy. Work is very rewarding this month, dear Aries, An especially busy—mostly pleasantly so— Resident Steve Dobson said the rules had made yet you still manage to find ways to break the period is in store for you in the first three the small party as difficult to arrange as the Great "I also understand that Santa may need a Criminal routine. You are very busy expanding your weeks of December. It can get a little hectic, Yorkshire Show. Records Bureau check. horizons, whether it’s through actual travel with many errands to run, more ideas than or “armchair travel”. At times, you may come you can realistically implement, and plenty of Mr Dobson said he learned of the regulations after "For a small Dales village we found it a bit of a joke across as opinionated, but it’s more likely contact with friends, siblings, and neighbors. writing to Craven District Council to ask if he could really. enthusiasm for sharing your thoughts. SCORPIO Oct. 24 - Nov. 22 use a car park outside Embsay village hall to hold TAURUS Apr. 21 - May 21 In many ways, December is a “money month” the free party for the community. "It's gone from us hoping to use a bit of council Sharing, intimacy, finances, and power plays for you, dear Scorpio. You enjoy extra energy property for a community party, to needing the all figure strongly for you. In the first 3 weeks and enthusiasm for increasing your income. Bureaucracy 'gone mad' same sort of planning we would have to put in for of the month, you are thinking strategically, It’s an excellent opportunity period for a the Great Yorkshire Show." making plans, and watching others around bonus or raise that truly makes a difference you more than you are participating. You in your life! You could be taking on a bigger Mr Dobson said it he was now considering moving stand to gain much from your observations! work load at the same time. the party to private land elsewhere in the village. GEMINI May 22 - Jun. 22 SAGITTARIUS Nov. 23-Dec. 21 Balancing your needs with those of a Energy, verve, and confidence are with you Craven Council's director of community significant other involves plenty of negotiating this month, dear Sagittarius, until the last services, Jonathan Kerr, said: "We support and back-and-forth before arriving at any week of the month when your life winds these community events and we try to help conclusions. Times like these require a certain down, quite appropriately! Until then, it’s local communities organise them and make amount of tact and a need to let others take hustle and bustle, and matters are definitely sure they are as safe as possible." center stage for the time being. working in your favour. 10 www.theolivepress.eu 11 news hounds & more BY Dr. Ronald Rosenfeld D.V.M. AUTUMN LEAVES? those pets that have been boarded or left at home with a local hunt club for the neighbour or friend looking in occasionally to feed them area they are using. ummertime is over and with it vacations. Getting they may also have been less active and therefore eaten ourselves back to a routine should also include some less. Now that the cooler weather is coming, our animals’ Oh and by the way if you Sconsiderations for our animals. The measures could caloric needs increase and their coats visibly change, so a and your pets are out for range from a simple bath to a trip to your veterinarian. This little extra attention to their diet may be warranted. a countryside stroll on depends upon the summer vacation your pets may have the weekends, and not hunting, wear bright colours and had, if they have travelled with you, if they stayed at home This is also a good time for their periodic treatment for keep your head down! George, brought in by English after he was left in a or if they went to a kennel, intestinal worms; remember in this area this should be done property. He is 2 years old and has a good character for while you were travelling. every three months, at least. Ronald Rosenfeld D.V.M. a cocker spaniel can be wary of new people, although If your pets travelled with he behaves well here. you they may have specific This area, along with the entire Mediterranean coast, is Clinical Signs of needs resulting from their plagued by sand fly fever (Leishmaniasis), and by heartworm leishmaniasis. travels. For example, they as well as other parasitic diseases transmitted by mosquitoes, may need a follow-up visit, flies, fleas, and ticks. The only way to determine if these Some of the more addressing a problem that other diseases have been transmitted by these pests is with frequently reported arose whilst away from a specific blood test, when suspected by your Vet. clinical signs of leishmaniasis include listlessness, fatigue your regular veterinarian and exercise intolerance coupled with anorexia and to make sure everything A few simple measures can help ease the transition to weight loss that eventually culminate as wasting disease. is back to normal. If winter and protect our pets against that “cold cruel world These signs may or may not be accompanied by fever, there was some type of outside”. local or generalized lymphadenopathy (90%) and/or Perlina, left by the family after her owner died. She is intoxication a check of hepatosplenomegaly. Articular involvement is also fairly 8 years old. It gives us great sorrow because she is very liver and kidney function might be needed. If they had an A bit of a reminder, common and may present as lameness with swollen joints lovable, like caramels and requests sausages from us. allergic reaction of any kind, previously undocumented by hunting season or simply as a stiff gait. Less common findings include ocular She is a very agreeable dog and sterilized. your regular veterinarian that should be brought to their has returned lesions (<5%), chronic diarrhea (30%) and long, deformed attention so it may be added to the pets’ clinical health and with it the brittle nails (20%) referred to as onychogryphosis. records. annual parade of groups of hunters Cutaneous lesions are present in up to 89% of infected For those families whose pets stayed at home or went to a and their dogs dogs, with or without overt signs of visceral involvement. kennel, they may not need anything more than a good end traipsing through However, it should be noted that any animal presenting with of summer haircut and or bath, combined with proper flea the underbrush, yet again. Many of the dogs they have with apparent lesions should be presumed to have disseminated and tick control measures. The weather is starting to cool them are untried and some are either gun shy or simply not leishmaniasis because involvement of the integument often off now so the number of these pests will start to diminish good hunters, so what will be their destiny? All too many occurs late in disease progression. Cutaneous lesions are now out of doors but they like us will start to look for places just get (in)conveniently left behind. If you witness anyone often dry, alopecic areas that are rarely pruritic. They usually CALL ARCA TODAY TO PROVIDE A HOME TO ONE OF indoors that are heated! engaged in such cruelty please remember that it is now begin around the head, especially on the pinna or muzzle, 200 DOGS NEEDING A LOVING HOME or IF YOU CAN against the animal cruelty laws in Spain and is a punishable but can originate on the footpads before spreading to the VOLUNTEER ANY ASSISTANCE WITH THE DOGS Along with a diminished appetite due to the summer heat, offence, get an automobile registration number and report rest of the body. it, you can make a difference. You do not have to report it If for some reason this holiday season you are thinking of giving some one a new pet make sure before to the law enforcement authorities if you are wary to get hand that it will be appreciated. This is a life and in the case of a kitten or a puppy could keep on giving involved. Simply find out where the local area hunt club is for 15-20 years, which carries with it a responsibility and point out to them that you have witnessed said neglect that lasts a lifetime! An alternative could be or abuse, where it occurred etc., plus take the registration adopting an adult from one of the many over numbers of the hunters’ vehicles around at the time and if it supplied shelters. Why not give a thought to happens again be prepared to carry your complaints further. those left in the shelters over Christmas and All dogs are required by law to be microchipped and cannot donate some food ! be legally abandoned! Hunters must be affiliated with a 12 www.theolivepress.eu 13 i i i THE LIVE PRESS Gates of Heaven at Xmas i i i i ht 3 blokes at the gates of heaven. i lig er i i i e s i i i

h d St. Peter says that in order to come in they

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t must find a Christmas theme out of what is e

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i in there pockets.

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i I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked

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i i for me and we all could use more calm in our lives. 1st bloke goes into his pockets and pulls out > a lighter and says it represents a candle. Very good St. Peter says in you go. By following the simple advice I heard on a Medical TV show, I have finally found inner peace. > 2nd bloke checks his pocket and finds some keys, jangling them he says there you go St. A Doctor proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you Peter the keys represent bells. Very good he have started. says in you go. >

So I looked around my house to see things 3rd bloke checks his pockets looking for I'd started and hadn't finished, and, something and pulls out a pair of women's before leaving the house this morning, I knickers. St. Peter cries what in Gods name finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of shhardonay, have they got to do with Christmas...... a bodle of Baileys, a butle of vocka, a pockage of wait for it. Prunglies, tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the Chesescke an a box a choclits. > The bloke replies there carols. Yu haf no idr who fkin gud I fel. Peas sen dis orn to dem yu fee AR in ned ov inr pis > >

Christmas poem He laid her on the table, So white and clean and bare.

His forehead wet with beads of sweat, He rubbed her here and there.

He touched her neck and then her breast, And then he felt her thigh.

The slit was wet and all was set, He gave a joyous cry.

The hole was wide -- he looked inside, All was dark and murky. He rubbed his hands and stretched out his arms, 14 ...And then he stuffed the turkey. www.theolivepress.eu 15 yoga for all THE LIVE PRESS ou’ve bought example, may feel http://www.santagames.net/calendar/ your dream relaxing to us but index.htm Yfinca, you’ve the body and mind moved in and found are still not in a full Christmas Advent Calendar : the corkscrew. The pc state of relaxation. count down to Christmas Day with is switched and you’re A typical exercise Online Games, holiday animations, longing to email your such as Savasana activities for children, and Christmas friends all about your (relaxation pose) surprises... move.. but wait... can be experienced at home or in a yoga class and will ‘Where do I plug in to completely relax the body and mind, and top up our energy http://www.braingle.com/brainteasers/teaser. the internet...?’ reserves for a full and active life. php?op=2;id=19567;comm=0 Tis the season to Christmas Time. Trivia brain teasers have some element of trivia in them, be jolly ... but mention the christmas present list, last Savasana (Relaxation pose) ... posting date to the UK or preparation of the turkey with December Mindbenders from http://www.stewartsplace.org.uk/mindbenders/2003_12_q.html all the trimmings, and most of us feel a little less jolly, To fully relax the body, you lie down in the relaxation pose perhaps a little bit stressed. and first tense then relax each part of the body in turn, Christmas Wrapped Up By setting time aside each week to destress through working up from your feet to your head. This alternate exercise and relaxation we will be repayed with a tensing then relaxing is necessary because it is only by Mr and Mrs Black have just started their Christmas shopping and wrapping. So far they have bought a present for each noticable increase in vitality and peace of mind. knowing how tension feels that you can be sure that you of their four children, wrapped each in a different colour of paper, and spaced them equally in a line in front of the Relaxation is a tonic for the body and spirit, expanding have achieved real relaxation.Then through a process called Christmas tree. our energy levels throughout the day. By remembering autosuggestion you´ll consciously tell each muscle in turn to that the state of our minds and the state of our bodies release any further tension and a feeling of heaviness will Determine whose present is which in the line, and what colour each is wrapped in, from the following clues: are intimately linked we are able to create a healthy and be felt as your body relaxes further onto the floor. To relax 1. Helen’s present is immediately right of the one wrapped in gold paper. happy life for ourselves. and focus the mind you breathe steadily and rythmically 2. Eve’s present is further left than the one in red paper. If your muscles are relaxed, then your mind will be and concentrate on your breathing. As you relax you´ll feel 3. Peter’s present is further from the one in silver paper than the blue-papered relaxed. If the mind is anxious, then the body suffers sensations of lightness and warmth. When all muscular one is. too. All action originates in the mind. When the mind tension is gone, a gentle euphoria suffuses the whole body, 4. Bernard has the girls’ presents immediately either side of his own. receives a stimulus that alerts it to the need for action, it often referred to as ´the yoga glow´. Even a few minutes sends a message via the nerves to contract the muscles in deep relaxation will reduce worry and fatigue more Quick and Easy in readiness. Everyone has their own trouble spots effectively than many hours of sleep and produce a calmness – whether it´s a clenched jaw, a that reaches deep into your core. 1. You reach the camp just as it gets dark. You have no electricity, and when you furrowed brow, or a stiff neck. This open your matchbox, you find that there is only one match left. There is a log fire, unnecessary tension can be a drain Sarah Good is a Sivananda trained Yoga a paraffin lamp and a gas stove. What should you light first? on our energy and a major cause teacher offering weekly local classes. 2. New Year’s Day is always a week after Christmas. In 1979, Christmas Day was a of ill health and tiredness. So how Please call for the latest times and Tuesday. What day was New Year in that year? do we fully relax? Watching TV, for locations this month. Tel: 663 140 297 3. From the street, the name of a hairdresser’s shop appears in large cut-out letters stuck to the window. Inside, I look diagonally at one of the mirrors on the side wall, and see the name reflected in the mirror. Does the name appear the right way round, or reversed? The Tree - What number goes at the top of the tree?.

SEE ANSWERS BELOW: the window from inside the shop, and the mirror reverses it again. it reverses mirror the and shop, the inside from window the

Quick and Easy- 1. The match.|2. Monday, 358 days beforehand.|3. The right way round. The name is backwards in in backwards is name The round. way right The beforehand.|3. days 358 Monday, match.|2. The 1. Easy- and Quick

Red Blue Gold Silver Paper either side. either

product of the numbers two rows below it and horizontally horizontally and it below rows two numbers the of product

Peter Helen Bernard Eve Child The Tree-The number is 16, from 2 × 8. Each number is the the is number Each 8. × 2 from 16, is number Tree-The The

are: they line, the in order their In Up- Wrapped Christmas 16 www.theolivepress.eu 17 challenges of gardening

in catalunya select early mid and late season varieties as it is possible to then harvest edible RUIT TREES GROW WELL IN SPANISH GARDENS mandarins from October to May and By Clodagh and Dick Handscombe, Gardeners and a mature perpetual flowering/fruiting Fauthors living in Spain for over twenty years. lemon tree can supply a years supply of lemons for gin and tonics and lemon No Spanish garden or apartment terrace should be without fruit trees or plants. Even sorbets. in less than a square metre it is possible to grow alpine or ordinary strawberries in a By the way the book includes over seventy fruits so there are plenty to chose from whether gardening on the strawberry barrel or window box, and citrus, peach, apple, pear, pomegranate, avocado coast or inland and at sea a thousand metres up. and fig trees on dwarf root stocks also grow perfectly well in containers provided you ‘Growing healthy fruit in Spain’ as well as ‘Growing healthy vegetables in Spain’ and fill the containers with a rich in nutrients and water retaining/ well draining soil mix. ‘Your garden in Spain’ can be purchased by mail order for convenience direct from Our experimental container is doing well and the orchard is doing well. the publishers on www.santanabooks.com or 952-485838.

Once in a larger garden it does not require much imagination to plant a dozen varieties © Clodagh and Dick Handscombe 0ctober 2008. of trees or plants and be able to harvest ones own ecological fruit crops on every day of the year. spanglish?- answers next month Try the following for starters – apples, almond, apricot, fig, lemon, mandarin, persimmon, peach, plum, strawberries, raspberries, and walnuts. christmas edition

If you combine the above with a vegetable raised bed or patch even in a moderate sized ACROSS DOWN

garden this can become your daily market for the fresh healthy fruit and vegetables, 2.christmas 1 2 3 4 1. almost

increasingly recommended by medical authorities. Spanish readers will immediately 5. turkey 5 6 2. boyfriend

recognise what we are saying –i.e. return to the back yard or small holding of our 6. idolo (E) 7 8 3. worthy grandparents – for what we recommend does not require a large orchard. Indeed, as 7. gato (E) 4. comida (E)

many inland expatriates with 10.000 metre plots have discovered, how does one cope 9. mini 9 10 11 7. cantar los villancicos

with the ripening fruit of several hundred trees when Spaniards are feeding surplus oranges to their sheep 10. nothing 12 (E) and goats as it is less expensive to do so than pay to harvest the fruit for very low prices. 12. corzo (E) 8. three kings (4,5) 13. espumillón (E) 9. fat/lard

Luckily many fruit trees have multiple benefits so they easily fit into mixed gardens for they are among the 14. ranch 13 14 11. alcohol best trees for spring blossom, then the colouring fruit add interest followed by the vivid autumn leaf colours 16. hiedra (E) 15. better of the deciduous trees and finally the early winter colours of persimmons and pomegranates appear after 18. acné (E) 17. cuartos (E)

the leaves have fallen. 20. ovalado (E) 15 16 17 19. moneda (E)

22. gas 18 19 20 21 21. también (E) As mentioned in our earlier columns and described in detail in our popular book Growing Healthy Fruit 23. wine BY SARAH (E=translate

in Spain – From strawberries to oranges and water melons there are now many natural, ecological and 24. misa (E) 22 to english otherwise to

organic ways of fertilising and spraying fruit trees bushes and plants against pests and diseases so one does 25. presents 23 24 spanish) not need to be concerned about residual chemicals on the skins.

25 Eating perfectly ripe fruit direct from the tree bush or plant is one of the delights of gardening in Spain . Fresh raspberries from May to October, figs ANSWERS TO THE november ISSUE OF SPANGLISH ACROSS: DOWN: during August and September apples during October and in a few 1. man 9. plato 21. offer 1. mar 10. playa 15. egg weeks time tangerines are regular pre breakfast snacks for us 3. nariz 14. bee 23. plan 2. nata 11. borde 19. office when working early in our holistic garden. They are irresistible. 5. leg 16. aparte 24. miel 4. remate 12. trama 20. salt 7. roto 17. grande 26. eat 5. lomo 13. fuego 22. kind Thinking about citrus trees if you are in an area where they grow 8. amid 18. dog 27. cuero 28.day 6. god 14. bed 23. pie 25. ley 18 A Caganer is a been featured in art little statue found exhibits. in Catalonia, in neighbouring areas with * The Caganer represents The caganer is not the only defecating character in Catalan culture such as the equality of all people: the Catalan Christmas tradition—another is the Tió de Andorra, and in other regardless of status, race, Nadal, which also makes extensive use of the image of parts of Spain, Portugal or gender, everyone human waste production. Other mentions of feces and and Italy. defecates. defecation are common in Catalan folklore, indeed, * Increased naturalism one popular Catalan phrase before eating says "menja The Traditional Caganer of an otherwise archetypal bé, caga fort i no tinguis por a la mort!" (Eat well, poop (thus idealised) story, so strong and don't be afraid of death!). In Catalonia, as well as in that it is more believable, the rest of Spain and in most of Italy and Southern France, taken literally and The Caganer can also be found in other European traditional Christmas decorations consist of a large seriously. cultures: model of the city of Bethlehem, similar to the Nativity * The idea that God will manifest her/ * In Dutch / Flemish : Kakkers / Schijterkes scenes of the English-speaking world but encompassing himself when s/he is ready, without regard * In French : Père la Colique the entire city rather than just the typical manger scene. for whether, we human beings are ready * In German : Choleramännchen or The caganer is a particular feature of modern Catalan or not. Hinterlader nativity scenes, and is also found in other parts of Spain * The caganer reinforces that the infant and southwestern Europe, including Salamanca, Murcia Jesus is God in human form, with all that The Caganer in the modern day (cagones), Naples (cacone or pastore che caca) and being human implies. Portugal (cagöes). Accompanying Mary, Joseph, Jesus, The Catalans have modified this tradition somewhat the Shepherds and company, the caganer is often tucked The exact origin of the Caganer is lost, since the 1940s. In addition to the traditional caganer away in a corner of the model, typically nowhere near but the tradition has existed since the design, you can easily find other characters assuming t h e the manger scene. There is a good reason for his obscure 17th century. An Iberian "votive deposit" caganer position, such as nuns, devils, Santa Claus, celebrities, position in the display, for "caganer" translates from was found near Tornabous in the Urgell athletes, historical figures, politicians, Spanish royalty, and other Catalan to English as "pooper", and that is exactly what depicting a holy Iberian warrior defecating famous people past and present, including Pope John Paul II, this little statue is doing — defecating. on his falcata. This started a short lived Salvador Dalí, prime minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero, series of polemics between the Institut Princess Letizia and even Osama bin Laden. Just days after his Possible reasons for placing a man who is in the act of d'Estudis Catalans and the Departament election as US president in 2008, a "pooper" of Barack Obama excreting waste in a scene which is widely considered d'Arqueologia in the Conselleria de Cultura was made available. holy include: of the Generalitat de Catalunya as to * Tradition. whether that can be regarded as a proto- In recent years a urinating statue, or Pixaner, has been added to the * Perceived humor. caganer (which would draw the origins of this tradition Christmas pantheon, but, unlike the Caganer, this addition should not be considered as * Finding the Caganer is far before than it is thought) or just a pre-combat ritual. an authentic tradition. a fun game, especially for children. Originally, the Caganer was portrayed as a Catalan Sanitization. In 2005, the Barcelona city council provoked a public outcry by * The Caganer, by peasant wearing a traditional hat called a barretina — a commissioning a nativity scene which did not include a Caganer. Many saw this as creating feces, is fertilizing red stocking hat with a black band. an attack on Catalan traditions. The local government countered these criticisms the Earth. However, this by claiming that the Caganer was not included because a recent by-law had made is probably a "posteriori" The practice is tolerated by the local Catholic church. public defecation and urination illegal, meaning that the Caganer was now setting a explanation, and few cite Caganers are easiest to find before Christmas bad example. Following a campaign against this decision called Salvem el this reason for including in holiday markets, like the one in front of the caganer (Save the caganer), and widespread media criticism, the 2006 nativity the Caganer in the Nativity Cathedral of Santa Eulalia, which has tables restored the Caganer, who appeared on the northern side of the nativity near scene. and tables of caganers. Caganers have even a dry riverbed. catalan traditions is a man with 365 noses, but of course, being the last day of the year, the sly old fox conveniently and ironically On the night of 5th December Spanish and Catalan has only one – he parades the Hotel Flamingo has a restaurant, bar, garden and open terrace. There is also an children don’t put a stocking out by the chimney, but streets and throws sweets to outdoor swimming-pool and an indoor swimming pool with sauna and solarium. instead they put out their shoes for the Three Kings to fill. all the children he sees from The Club del Mar is also open to non-residents of the hotel for only... 15€ And some hay and water for the camels, instead of milk early in the morning. monthly. It includes the unlimited use of the heated swimming pool and sauna. and cookies for Santa. Opening times: Monday through Friday, 9 to 21 hours Nadal & Sant Esteve (Christmas Day & According to Saint Joan, the man of the noses seems It is the first independently powered hotel in Spain. In 2005 when it was opened Boxing Day)Dates: 25/26 Dec to be a degeneration of a mythical character who it was given the Eurosolar 2005 award (European Association for biomass), so symbolized the year. Originally having been represented pioneering the alternative & renewable energy sources in the hotel industry. One The Catalan equivalent of the Christmas midnight mass is by a tree ' the tree of the noses', in that stump the man of the most important advantages is, without doubt, this resulting respect for the missa del gall (cockerel’s mass), held at dawn. Later, of the noses lives on and to this day he clothes himself nature and its resources. the whole family enjoys a traditional in the leaves of twelve different Remember the Restaurant del Mar as well as this stylish modern hotel is open Christmas feast of escudella i carn trees and with the four colours of for guests and the public all year. Ideal for a special night out with the option to d’olla (a meaty stew), seafood and roast Catalonia. On the other hand, the pamper yourself with an overnight stay in this luxury hotel or to accommodate truffled turkey, finishing off with great figuration of the roman god Janus, those extra guests over christmas and the new year. ingots of turrón. The caga tió gives is a character with two faces in one, small gifts but the real booty doesn’t the one that looks towards the past GRAND CHRISTMAS MARKET HOTEL FLAMINGO 10am- 8pm arrive until the night of 5 January. and the one that looks towards the s SATURDAY DEC 6TH SUNDAY DEC 7THs next year that starts in January, SATURDAY DEC 13TH SUNDAY DEC 14TH Cap d’Any (New Year’s some think perhaps that the origin of the Man of Noses IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN A STALL CONTACT MARGARET 667 298 222 OR HOTEL FLAMINGO 977 593 816 Eve) character is a variant of this tradition.  Date 31 Dec & 1 Jan At night, bars and discos charge hoiked-up prices, but free public celebrations are held around the region. "L' Home dels Nassos" People have dinner with the family or friends. After During the day of New Year’s Eve, look dinner, at midnight everyone stops swilling cava and out for L’Home dels Nassos , a character starts stuffing 12 grapes into their mouths, one for every in Catalan myths and legends. It is chime of the bell. If you are able to eat the grapes during translated as "Man of the noses". The the strokes it means that you will have a lucky year. At legend says that, on New Year's Eve, the end of the strokes they drink a toast with Cava. this man walks the streets and has as many noses on his face as there are days left in the Wear red underwear for good luck! year. In this way, children are led to believe that there Xmas tree -vs- Men En fumera "Fumera" Why is a Christmas tree He has got seven eyes, four better than a on the face and three at bloke? the back. He goes into the house through the chimney. It?s always erect, it stays He informs the Three Kings up 12 days & about the behaviour of the 12 nights, has children over the year. cute balls & it looks good with the lights 22 on!! FREE online Spanish-Catalan visual building dictionary Am I the only person whose Each chapter is available as a separate download, trips to the local builders’ and I think most people will find that chapter three supplies merchants end up — ‘Elements constructius de l'edifici’, or ‘build like a game of charades? I construction elements’— is the most useful. mean, I usually know what Wanted: small country getaway retreat I want… but can I see it anywhere? And I may know With clear, numbered drawings on each page what it’s called in English… but I can I explain it in and labelled in both languages, it includes As mentioned a few months back, Peter and Spanish or Catalan? No way, José! detailed sections on wall and roof construction, Monica are a cosmopolitan Dutch/Catalan couple wooden structures, doors and windows, floors that have lived and worked on the Costa Dorada Somehow I usually get what I need… eventually. In and foundations, and water, gas and electrical for some years. my case, this involves wild gesticulating, desperate installations, to name a few. scribbled diagrams, and my wife later telling me They are still looking for a cosy country refuge for that she knew what it was called all along... all to Originally designed as a Catalan terminology weekend breaks. Peter has worked refitting yacht the amusement of the guy in the yard. reference for building design and construction interiors, and is looking forward to having a new professionals, it could be just the thing when project to keep him busy. So when I recently came across a handy little resource you’re down at the builders’ yard or talking to hidden away in the depths of the Generalitat’s your arquitecto or constructor. The couple want a finca with around 10.000 m2 of website, I thought I’d share it with you. land or more, with great views, and about an hour’s If time allows I may work on an English translation. drive from Tarragona. Access should not be too rough The ‘Diccionari visual de la construcció’ is In the meantime, here’s an A-Z of some of the and water would be ideal. an illustrated Catalan-Spanish dictionary of easy ones! architectural and building terms. In printed form A stone-built ‘casita’ of 30 or 40m2 would be ideal, it sells for 24 euros, but it’s available for free Attic, buhardilla (Sp), golfes (Ca) and they expect to have to do some structural work. download in PDF format at http://www10.gencat. Brick, ladrillo (Sp), maó (Ca) They’ll pay up to 45.000 euros for the right property. net/ptop/AppJava/cat/documentacio/llengua/ Ceiling, techo (Sp), sostre (Ca) terminologia/diccvisual.jsp. Drainpipe, bajante (Sp), baixant (Ca) If you have a property like this for sale, please Earth (elec), tierra (Sp), terra (Ca) give me a call on 977 08 40 40, or email me at Purewater Foundations, cimentación (Sp), fonaments (Ca) [email protected]. Guttering, canalón (Sp), tortugada (Ca) Spain Hinge, bisagra (Sp), frontissa (Ca) Finally, I’d like to wish all Insulation, aislamiento (Sp), aïllament (Ca) Olive Press readers a Bon water puri cation systems Jamb, jamba (Sp), brancal (Ca) Nadal/Feliz Navidad/ whole of house, boats and mobile homes Load-bearing wall, pared de carga(Sp), paret de Merry Christmas and a Make well, river & irrigation water pure & safe to drink càrrega (Ca) prosperous New Year. Removes bacterit ia, e-coli, chlorine Marble, mármol (Sp), marbre (Ca) Jeff pesticides, foul tastes & odour. Non-bearing interior wall, tabique (Sp), envà (Ca) Great Tasting Water free of chlorine Opening, hueco (Sp), obertura (Ca) & chemicals from your tap Pantile, teja árabe (Sp), teula àrab (Ca) from only 0.003euros per litre Quantity, cantidad (Sp), quantitat (Ca) Unique system for pure drinking water Rendering, enlucido (Sp), arrebossat (Ca) without electric without chemicals Skirting board, zócalo (Sp), sòcol (Ca) & NO wasted water Tiles (floor), baldosa (Sp), rajola (Ca) 333 litres for only 1 Euro !! U-bend, sifón (Sp), sifó (Ca) Valve, válvula (Sp), vàlvula (Ca) 977 059 364 Windowsill, repisa (Sp), lleixa (Ca) [email protected] 24 www.purewaterspain.com www.theolivepress.eu 25 •TIÓ de NADAL• Olives & popcorn Hello and Hola to our ex-pats out there who may or may not know what Spain can offer to challenge Hollywood in great films. Every month I will highlight a film that is in essence of Spanish origin. It's role will be to get you the reader to want to see the film without spoiling the plot. If any of our readers disagree or even possibly agree with my views I will welcome your comments. The Tió de Nadal (roughly "Christmas Log"), also known Three Wise Men. It does leave candies, nuts and torrons. Also if you want to know more about a particular film and how to get a copy again get in touch. as "Tió" (trunk or log, a big piece of cut wood) or "Tronca" Depending on the part of Catalonia, it may also give out This month I will be presenting another double bill but this time of a lighter subject matter that ("log") and popularly called "Caga tió" (pooping log in dried figs. When nothing is left to "poop", it drops a salt will I hope make you smile, laugh, cry, or hopefully all three!!! English), is a character in Catalan mythology relating to herring, a head of garlic, an onion or "urinates". What a Christmas tradition widespread in Catalonia. A similar comes out of the tió is a communal rather than individual L'Auberge espagnole (The Spanish Les Poupées russes (Russian Dolls) tradition exists in other places such as the cachafuòc or gift, shared by everyone present. Apartment) (Comedy/Drama) (Comedy/Drama) soc de Nadal in Occitania, or the Tizón de Nadal or Tronca L'Auberge espagnole (English: The Spanish Apartment) is a Les Poupées russes (Russian Dolls) is a 2005 French- de Nabidá in Aragon. Beating the Tió de Nadal 2002 French film directed and written British film, the sequel to L'Auberge by Cédric Klapisch. It is about Xavier, espagnole (2002). Cédric Klapisch The form of the tió de Nadal found in many Catalan homes In addition to the names listed in the opening paragraph, an Economics graduate student wrote and directed the film, whose during the holiday season is a hollow log of about thirty the additional nickname "Caga Tió" ("pooping log") studying for a year in Barcelona as settings include Paris, London, Saint centimetres length. Recently, the tió has come to stand derives from the many songs of Tió de Nadal that begin part of the Erasmus student exchange Petersburg and Moscow. Klapisch up on two or four little stick legs with a broad smiling with this phrase, which was originally (in the context of programme, where he encounters and makes use of digital and split-screen face painted on the higher of the two ends, enhanced the songs) an imperative ("Poop, log"). The use of this learns from a group of students who effects in the film, as well asnon- by a little red sock hat (a miniature of the traditional expression as a name is not believed to be part of the hail from all over Western Europe. linear narrative. Catalan barretina) and often a three-dimensional nose. ancient tradition. The tradition of the tió could be related The title of the film as you may already The characters from the first film all Those accessories have been added only in recent to that of the Christmas tree. know literally means "the Spanish hostel", and is a French feature again but is centred once again around the indecisive times, altering the more traditional and rough natural idiom for a hodgepodge of 'ingredients,' sort of like a pot Xavier and over the course of events that span from London appearance of a dead piece of wood. The Catalan word Here is a song of the "caga tió": luck. It is also sometimes used to mean a busy, chaotic place. to Moscow the threads original spun in the first film are tió (log) is unrelated to the Spanish word tío. caga tió, Pooping log, The English title of the film is Pot Luck in the UK and Canada; nicely concluded so making a third film at this stage very caga torró, poop turrón Euro Pudding is an international title it was given, and it is unnecessary . Beginning with the Feast of the Immaculate Conception avellanes i mató, hazelnuts and cheese, also known as The Spanish Apartment. In Spain, where it is By itself the film does not cover too much and by its nature (December 8), one gives the tió a little bit to "eat" every si no cagues bé if you don't poop well, set, it was released as Una casa de locos —"Madhouse". is only relevant after watching the first film which did not night and usually covers him with a little blanket so that et daré un cop de bastó. I'll hit you with a stick. The film's portrayal is in the first-person perspective of the really need this second part even though the characters are he will not be cold at night. caga tió!" Pooping log! main character, Xavier, and is hence mainly narrated in well developed enough. Therefore I leave it An alternate version goes something like this: French. Some of the dialogue is in English however, and a to you the viewing public to decide to keep On Christmas day or, depending on the particular caga tió, Pooping log, significant amount is in Spanish, as well as small amounts in to the first film or if you wish to continue household, on Christmas Eve, one puts the tió partly into tió de Nadal, log of Christmas, Catalan, Danish, German and Italian. with the second part it would not harm the the fireplace and orders it to "poop" (the fire part of this no caguis arengades, don't poop herrings, I felt as European films go this is one of the true greats as it experience of the first but does not do a great tradition is no longer as widespread as it once was, since que són massa salades which are too many salty, features strong characters from many parts of Europe and deal to enhance it either...... many modern homes do not have a fireplace). To make caga torrons Poop turrón together shows us what modern Europe stands for. Even to him "poop", one beats him with sticks, while singing que son més bons!" which are much better! the point of admitting our own problems in being a part of various songs of Tió the new Europe. Jason Berry 04/11/2008 de Nadal. After hitting it softly with a stick during the song it is hit The movie has a sequel, The Russian Dolls...see opposite Contact e-mail: harder on the words "caga tió!". Then somebody puts and a third film is upcoming in the near future. [email protected] The tió does not drop his hand under the blanket and takes a gift. The gift is large objects, as those opened and then the song begins again. There are many are brought by the such songs: these are just examples. 26 news from our california correspondent (norfolk)

THE ENVY OF THE WORLD ? starched undergarments. She probably did longer employed by the hospital but are But, I hear you cry, what of the emergency service? the operations as well in her spare time. Stony provided by a subcontractor who is evidently Living as I do en route to the local A&E, I often hear your celebrity DJ, you can listen by faced consultants would meet your anxious on to a good thing. Various sinister looking the clang of the ambulances on a mission of mercy. to him live on www.futureradio. enquiries with silence and disdain. The only individuals, apparently selected at a period in You will have noticed that the term ‘A&E’ has replaced co.uk, Wednesday mornings 10.00- sign of relief might be when someone shoved their lives between the next prison sentence the word ‘Casualty’. This is because followers of the TV 13.00 a daffodil in your backside as a substitute or community service order, are equipped programme of the same name had higher expectations for taking your temperature. OOOh Matron! with some scraggy looking brushes and mops of what is on offer than can actually be provided. The Our local NHS hospital has announced, yet again, that Carry On films have a lot to answer for. which they are trained to drag around the first obstacle is to actually get into the hospital building. wards are to be closed because a bug is loose in the wards. The outcome of their labours appears Recently our local ambulances with their incumbent building. ‘Loose’, being the operative word since the Nowadays you seem to have even less idea to have the effect of re-arranging any flotsam cargo were queuing in lines for hours as there was no ‘winter vomiting virus’ strikes the body at both ends. who is doing what to whom; and why. Nurse- and jetsam in a different pattern to when room for any more sick and dying in the hospital. The Patients’ admissions are being delayed and inevitably like figures flit in and out during the day each then went in. system was blocked! Once you pass through the door operations are cancelled. Patients fortunate, or one apparently able to perform only one your particulars are taken and the promise is that you unfortunate enough to be in the hospital are forbidden task! One will take your temperature, without Our local hospital is now classified as a will be seen by someone with medical qualifications, to have visitors. Now correct me if I have got this floral accompaniment, another will check ‘university hospital’. This means that at or possibly a GCSE in woodwork, within four hours! wrong, but I was under the impression that when your blood pressure, yet another level of any time your bed can be surrounded by That’s the target set by the government. You are you went into hospital the object of the exercise was operatives, who act only in pairs, will decant students, seemingly recruited from the then required to sit, with whatever it is that ails you, to make you well again, if that was possible. Now it you from your bed in order to change the Chinese embassy. Your consultant, who is surrounded by the local potheads and drunks who seems that hospitals can offer a wide variety of exotic sheets. Added to this is a meals-on-wheels charge of this motley crew, will invite them think they are on another planet. If you are over the diseases, some of them with fatal consequences, to service. Having selected your dish of the day, to examine and poke about with various bits age of eighty, however, you will be parked conveniently enhance the excitement of committing your ailing from a cardboard menu which is passed from of your body, which they do with enthusiasm on a trolley. Should you ‘pass over’ during the ensuing body to their services. What can be the purpose of patient to patient thereby ensuring that any whilst writing strange symbols on their note waiting period you can then be pushed straight to the this?. Is it some kind of diversionary tactic to take contagious diseases are fairly distributed, pads accompanied by numbers. One is led morgue obviously without passing ‘Go’ or collecting your mind off whatever it was you went in there for in your freshly microwaved gourmet experience to consider that select parts of you anatomy £200. the first place. Dragging yourself to the loo every five will arrive at your bedside at no particular may well may one day appear on the menu at minutes might take your mind off the fact that your time. You can forget any possibility of getting the local take-away. Apparently the National Health Service is the envy of ear is hanging off. your 5-a-day! The tasteless sludge you are the world. It certainly has an efficient way of absorbing Gone are the days when you knew where you stood in served will probably only bear a passing As in all public buildings smoking has been huge amounts of money with little evidence of a the order of things with the local hospital. A time when resemblance to what you have ordered. banned, apparently it is bad for your health logical outcome. People do survive it, I am told, and the heavy scent of It will be accompanied by plastic cutlery which doesn’t really explain why most doctors get better. It provides an excellent training ground for industrial strength presumably to stop patients from doing their and nursing staff are committed smokers. The doctors and consultants who then go off to other parts d i s i n f e c t a n t own operations. ban offers great challenges to the patients of the world to heal the sick. This is where the term mixed with who are similarly addicted. In the early days ‘practice’ comes something vaguely From personal experience of this army of of the ban patients would drag themselves from. Seemingly we, reminiscent of ‘little helpers’, most of whom do not speak to smoking facilities disguised as bus shelters the innocent British sheep dip wafted English as we know it, is that they seem to just outside the hospital doors. Here, in spite public, are being in the air as you have little idea what each other are doing. of the inclement weather, they would puff used as guinea pigs. walked through the It is not unusual to have your temperature away and in doing so set themselves up for In the meantime door. It was a time taken on several occasions in a short space further hospital admissions. However the I’ll keep paying my when nurses wore of time. Any attempt to ask for information ‘powers that be’ have decided that this was private medical uniforms that are or, more importantly, to advise them that you not an ideal state of affairs and have removed insurance premiums. now only seen in are urgently in need of ‘in bed’ toilet facilities the bus shelters. Now your ardent ciggie By the way ‘Happy exotic gentleman’s will be met with a blank stare. It is far addict has to drag themselves to the far Christmas’, if you clubs. When the better to ask the cleaner. Possibly he, reaches of the car park. Often people, make it to the 25th. overbearing figure or she, will feel that prevention is better barely out of the operating theatre can be of the matron ruled than cure and that any ‘little accidents’ seen staggering to neutral ground with a the whole will fall into their domain to be drip trolley in tow. The © Mike Stevens proceedings cleared up. fortitude of the British November 2008 with a rod addict has no limits. of iron, and I use the term ‘cleaner’ in its loosest sense. These are no 28 www.theolivepress.eu 29 WINEHOUSE BLAMES CRACK ADDICTION ON LSD HAMILTON WINS WORLD CAR POINTING HALLUCINATIONS CHAMPIONSHIP AMY Winehouse last night blamed ecstasy, crushed up valium, LEWIS Hamilton a few weeks ago became the "And yes, it will be like a gigantic Scalextric her addiction to crack cocaine on a Temazepam, PCP, GHB, mescaline, youngest ever winner of the World Car Pointing but with lots of stunningly attractive, heavily- hallucination of the devil she saw amyl nitrate, Vim, unleaded petrol, Championship. chested ladies in tight t-shirts draping while high on LSD. cider ice lollies and Jagermeister. themselves over bald, cigar-smoking fat guys."

The Rehab singer said Satan "I’d done Darvon, Lortab, Meanwhile a delighted Hamilton and his appeared before her in the guise methadone, morphine, Percodan, delighted advisers were last night formulating of a six-foot Jamaican called some Phenaphen with Codeine, plans to pump £100 million a year into the Barrington while she was visiting Talacen, Tramadol, lots of Tylenol, Swiss economy. a council flat with a steel door just some Ultram, but never all at the off Westbourne Grove. She said same time like now, and I never Beelzebub incanted curses over touched Vicodin. her in a strange, heavily accented English before selling her a small "That is the work of the devil." bag of sensimilia, three rocks of crack, a Kit-Kat, A spokeswoman for Beelzebub said Satan did appear and a small plastic pipe, all for £25. on earth in human form but that he was much more likely to manifest as Al Pacino, Liz Hurley or Richard The singer said: "Okay, I had dabbled in drugs before and Judy than a large West Indian. Lucifer cast his spell, a little weed, some coke, a bit In a climax, described by some as interesting, of smack and the odd pint of Night Nurse with a She said: "The devil is all about spreading evil and the McLaren car pointer crossed the chequered Benylin chaser. confusion, he is not, and never has been, a man line in fifth place thereby finishing first for reinforcing negative stereotypes about black and completing yet another day of abject "I'd tried ketamine, crystal meth, amphetamine, people." humiliation for the world's foreigners.

Roy Hobbs, who gets paid to talk about car pointing, said: "Hamilton has been destined for this moment ever since he learned which button made it go and which button made it stop.

"All he had to do then was work out the best way to point it using the steering thingy."

Hobbs added: "But of course, the most important thing about car pointing is the car, and luckily the car he was pointing was faster than all the other cars being pointed this year.

"I suspect that Lewis Hamilton will now dominate this sport until they come up with a way of doing it all by remote control.

30 www.theolivepress.eu 31 property for sale or rent by owner BIOFUEL : MAKE YOUR OWN BIODIESEL The Olive Press does not accept responsibility for the contents of the articles supplied by contributors nor for the claims made by advertisers| PLEASE USE A LAWYER! WOULD YOU PLEASE MENTION THE OLIVE PRESS WHEN CONTACTING ADVERTISERS LIKE FRIES WITH THAT?!

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS THIS TRUCK RUNS ON BIODIESEL ! BIO Do you have a drinking problem? DIESEL Alcoholics Anonymous

may be able to help he technology to produce fuel from plants, is nothing produced. Please call 686 885 913 new but investments in biofuels has surged in recent • -Wash with water, dry with heat and check quality of Tyears due to environmental concerns, energy issues your biodiesel . and the most important oil prices reaching $140 per Tip : Victims of Domestic Abuse barrel. Start with small batches of 1 litre and increase the batch size as your technique improves. Are you a victim of domestic abuse – Many different feedstock are used in the manufacture of does your partner or parent or loved one physically, verbally or emotionally attack you? first generation of biofuels. Ethanol is produced from corn, When using your own Biodiesel in your car, it is advisable to We are a group of people who have HOUSE FOR SALE 245 000€ O.N.O. suffered domestic abuse from our loved ones sugar cane and wheat . have an extra clear filter connected in line with the existing DETAILS AT www.casaddraig.com and support each other in finding solutions one so you can see when the filter gets dirty. The biodiesel and courage to overcome our difficulties. Tel: 639 007 055 If you are suffering domestic abuse please Biodiesel feedstock include palm, soybean, rapeseed oil and you produce is much purer than the one sold in the petrol contact us in confidence at :- *PLUS 10.000€ PAID TO ANYONE WHO [email protected] used cooking oil . stations and it will clean your diesel tank. INTRODUCES THE BUYER Alternative feedstock called next generation are produced Another important thing to check before using the biodiesel USEFUL TELEPHONE NUMBERS Lost credit cards in Spain by microbial fermentation of sugars from biomass, algae and in your car is to find out the type seals of your diesel pump VISA and Mastercard: 915 196000 American Express: 915 720 320 cellulosic ethanol. as some of the old type of seals might dissolve . Other cards: 902 114 400 One of the best options to produce your own Biodiesel is EMERGENCIES Lost credit cards / international - FIRE DEPARTMENT 085 VISA: 900 974 445 from waste vegetable oil (WVO) like cooking oil as described When starting to use biodiesel in your car the unwanted - CAMBRILS FIRE DEPARTMENT 977 795 080 Mastercard: 900 971 231 and summarised below . side effects can be minimised by mixing the Biodiesel at - REUS FIRE DEPARTMENT 977 770 080 - TARRAGONA FIRE DEPARTMENT 977 549 959 EMBASSIES & CONSULATES 50% with normal diesel sold in the petrol stations. - GENERAL EMERGENCIES 112 Barcelona British Consulate- Fax: 00 34 93 490 09 86 Caution and safety : - CIVIL GUARD 977 380 106 Avenida Diagonal, 477, 13º Email: [email protected] ( GUARDIA URBANA) 062 08036 Barcelona Generalkonsulat Deutschland If you attempt to produce your own Biodiesel, wear By : Xavier Milián Call Tel.: 933 666 200 Passeig de Garcia, 111 -CATALAN AUTONOMOUS POLICE 088(24hr) protective gloves, eye protection and appropriate clothing. - MOSSOS D'ESQUADRA (MUNICIPAL GUARD) Fax: 933 666 221 08008 Barcelona TARRAGONA 977 635 300 OR 088 British Embassy Spain Telephone: 932 921 000 Chemicals used are extremely caustic and flammable. Enginyer Tècnic Industrial . no : 10634 - CITY POLICE 977 309 212 OR 092 C/ Fernando el Santo, 16 Fax: 932 921 002 -NATIONAL POLICE 091 28010 Madrid Generalkonsulat Schweiz -SEA RESCUE 900 202 202 Tel.: 91 700 82 00 - 91 319 0200 Gran Via de Carlos III, 94 Ingredients : www.catalunyafincas.com Fax: 91 700 82 72 08028 Barcelona - LIFEGUARDS & WATER RESCUE 657818023-657818021 Mixture of: waste vegetable oil (WVO), methanol 99% and - WATER RESCUE, TARRAGONA 977216203-977216215 The Embassy of Ireland: Telephone: 933 309 211 - AMBULANCE SERVICE 092 OR 977 381 717 Ireland House Generalkonsulat Osterreich sodium hydroxide (caustic soda) . - MEDICAL EMERGENCIES 061 Paseo de la Castellana 46-4 Calle Mallorca,214 - HOSPITAL JOAN XXIII, TARRAGONA 977 295 800 28046 Madrid 08008 Barcelona car import in spain.com - HOSPITAL SANT JOAN, REUS 977 310 300 Telephone: 00 34 91 436 4093 Telephone: 934 537 294 General procedure: Fax: +34-91-435-1677 Fax:934 534 980 Citizens advice bureau: 012 • -Filter WVO to remove any solid particles. •Traffic emergencies: 088 Email: [email protected] Nederlandse Ambassade •Consumer information: 012 Irish Honorary Consul General Avenida Comandante Franco, 32 • -Heat to remove any water content. Gran Via Carlos III, 94 28016 Madrid 08028 Barcelona Telephone: 913 537 500 • -Titrate to determine how much catalyst is needed. Car re-registering / import service Telephone: 00 34 93 491 5021 Fax: 913 537 565 • -Prepare the catalyst ( Sodium methoxide) by mixing methanol with caustic soda . visit the web site: HOLIDAYS Public holidays in Catalonia:1 January: New Year’s Day; 6 January / Epiphany (Feast of the Three Kings); March-april: Good Friday;March-april: Easter Monday; 1 May: Labour Day; 24 June: Saint John (midsummer); 15 August: • -Heat WVO with catalyst . www.carimportinspain.com Asumption of Mary; 11 September: Catalan National Day; 12 Octobre: Feast of the Hispanic Peoples; 1 November: All • -Allow to settle to remove glycerine from the biodiesel Saints’ Day, 6 December: Constitution Day; 8 December: Immaculate Conception of Mary; 25 December: Christmas; 26 or call +34 689 1 78 31 9 32 December: Saint Stephen (Boxing Day). www.theolivepress.eu 33 personal classifieds THE LIVE PRESS GENERAL FOR SALE (terms & conditions may apply) Jeep roof rack | Genuine Grand Cherokee Jeep roof rack, Pigs for Sale - 5 months old. Ideal as pets or can be sold 1985 BMW 320i Cabriolet E30 only 1,195€ •PICK UP YOUR FREE COPY OF THE OLIVE PRESS CATALUNYA used once only cost 190€ accept only 90€ Tel: 977 059 364 for freezer! We have domestic cross with wild boar or Tel 977 059 364 || 1990cc 1985 CD radio | at Bar Estación Restaurante, L'Ampolla and get a free cake 2 sets of Ikea bunk beds | both brand new still in boxes total wild boar. Rare opportunity to purchase this collectors car been in the with your coffee! each cost 275 euros will accept 225 euros each or nearest Call 678137032 or 977265290 family for about 15 years and been garaged and unused for the WHAT'S ON offer contact 629010529 or e mail: lesvalblf @fsmail.net Joints of Pork with cracklin! last 2 years as owner is abroad. Engine replaced 2 years ago QUIZ NIGHTs | KARAOKE every Friday at Bar Estación OVAL WOODEN DINING TABLE | 90X150cm, fair condition Order your Christmas Dinner now! We have Pork Joints and roof recovered just before that. Paint work in fairly good Restaurante,L'Ampolla TEL: 977 460 387 NOW SKY SPORTS! 30€ seats 6 | Tel: 977 059 364 with Crackling, Turkeys, Ducks, Geese all available to condition, just needs a clean and TLC. •CLASSIC CAR MEETING 1st FRIDAY of every month 6PM Call GREY & WHITE STRIPED PVC WARDROBES x2 | HEIGHT- order for Christmas. RENTALS for more details and new location: 678 718 446 1.8m. IDEAL FOR EXTRA STORAGE. 10euros each. Call 678137032 or 977265290 PROPERTY RENTAL SERVICES INCLUDING | advertising, ▪EL PERELLO FREESIA GROUP (working for cancer charities Telephone 617 836 923 for further details. cleaning, maintenance, regular security checks on in Spain) Book Stall every other Saturday,(4th Oct) 10am LARGE GARDEN SHED | 13x10 metal construction wood WANTED empty property. CALL 678 137 032 outside Bar Homogenic, El Perello | effect new 4 months ago cost 995 euro's sell for 550 euro's WANTED HAS ANYBODY GOT A DEAD 93-94-95 THE BOTTLE DRAW WAS WON BY PAUL & MARGARET. buyer must dismantle tel 648 662 507 MITSUBUSHI PAJERO 2.8.I am looking for a turbo. please SERVICES THE FREESIA CALENDAR- I WOULD LIKE TO THANK YAMAHA CLAVINOVA PIANO CVP-92 | ELECTRIC DIGITAL call 977059141 OR 616553925 FEMALE ELECTRIAN | PLUMBER | PAINTING & EVERYONE INVOLVED ALSO TO ALL OUR SPONSERS KEYBOARD AND SEAT, FULL 88 KEYS AND 3 PEDALS Wanted small car, estate or van | with windows 4 seater, DECORATING | POOL MAINTENANCE AND A SPECIAL THANKS TO FERRAN OF HOMOGENIC €750 TEL: 678 877 311 must have tow bar, anything considered must be Spanish ENGLISH & DUTCH SPOKEN FOR HIS HELP AND SUPPORT. CALENDARS ARE ON 2 SINGLE PINE BEDS | with mattresses, very clean. 60€ each plated and have a current ITV, up to €2000 ring 675515925 CALL WINNIE ON 659 276 474 SALE 5€ AT THE FREESIA BOOK STALL OR RING ANN or 100€ for the pair. Tel: 977490688 Wanted Vespa Scooter | 125cc or larger, with manual ON 605 196 979 |Carol Service on 12 December at 8pm SUPERSER GAS COOKER | full size oven and with 4 burners, gears, must be Spanish registered and have all paperwork DRIVER WITH VAN | Making regular trips between in the village church,El Perelló |▪FRIENDSHIP CLUB for includes gas connection.60€ Call 977490688 plus current ITV don't mind shabby Stuart 977059254 Spain & England via France. Willing to transport goods all nationalities meeting 1st, sunday of each month near Fagor FGL-25M gasoil central heating boiler | vgc, €1,100 new WANTED VOLUNTEERS | help needed to look after the to & from Spain. Tel: 977 477 367 Tortosa free stalls for those that have wares to sell, food - €500 including over 3 metres of double insulated stainless abandon dogs at ARCA near Tortosa. Please call Maeve & drinks available. contact Brian Parkin at 660-990-422 or steel flue. Tel 977 059 101 or 620 360 595 678 975 816 if you can offer any assistance. Plus anyone SEWING SERVICES | Soft furnishings including curtains 977-059-911 for more info MULTI CD PLAYER Technics | holds 111 cd's. Remote interested in organising some fund raising for the dogs & cushions etc., made to measure or remade from control programs hours of music and instant change €50 would be must appreciated. There are presently over 160 your own fabrics. Other sewing jobs undertaken. Own IMPORTANT MEETING ANNOUNCEMENT || | HI FI AMP Rotel. Quality. Can go with above. €15 Tel homeless dogs of all sizes and ages. PLEASE HELP . transport. Call Yvonne - ecobears 617 836 923 or 3 December at 5pm in the Casa de Cultura in El 669545181 (L'Ampolla) 675 444 338 e-mail: ecobears@hotmail. web Site: com Perelló. We would hope that at least one person from KIPOINT 1,600 watt pure sine wave inverter/charger | Brand VEHICLES / MOBILE HOMES/BOATS www.ecobears.com each household would make an effort to attend as the new, never used, still in box. New, price was 1,100 euros. Will HONDA 2003 CRV-iVTEC EXCEUTIVE | top of the range object is to help the Mossos to help us. accept 695 euros. Please call 606554048 model, automatic, economical, beautiful condition, UK TRANSLATIONS and INTERPRETATION SERVICE | || 50 LITRE SPRAYER | fits on 3 point linkage, hand held lance. plates. 5,700€ O.N.O. Tel: 620 668 884 or 672 031 861 (English/Spanish) Problem Surgery, El Perelló has organised a meeting 12v power, used twice. 80€ Call 977 267 539 or 650 871 135 FLIX AREA: 676 742 500. for people from El Perelló with the Mossos d'Esquadra VIETNAMESE POTBELLY PIGS | 6 weeks old and ready on BOAT & TRAILER | For Sale. 14.5 Feet. 35hp Yamaha who as you know have just taken over responsibility 16th Dec, 100€ each. Tel: 696 051 633 or 646 870 325 engine. Good condition. Life jackets & rod holder's Are you suffering Verbal, Mental, or Phyiscal for the local policing from the Guardia Civil. There will PANASONIC digi box | with Sky card. 70 euros. included. 1500 Euros. Telephone: 659-238-437 abuse? If you feel that you need to talk! Please be more of them on the ground and hopefully this will Tel.977580090 Mov. 661354704 contact me! [email protected] lead to a lessening of the amount of robberies. But Generator |Honda GX200 6.5hp petrol, 195€. Tel: 977059364 KIA SPORTAGE S 4X4 | 2001 Y REG, 45,000 miles,red/ they are aware that there is a large community of silver, 1 owner, v.clean, g.condition, 6 months tax, 11 LATIN AMERICAN AND BALLROOM CLASSES || foreigners living far flung out in the countryside in GENERATOR | new, YANMAR 6KVA diesel, single month MOT. 2495€ o.n.o. - for absolute beginners. 10 week course remote locations. Part of the meeting will be to locate cylinder, key start. Excellent quality make. 1275€ Contact Dave on 679 889 639. starting Wednesday 21st January at Montse's the houses of people so that the police will actually Dave 671 808 096 Gym, L'Ametlla de Mar. Wednesdays 7.30 know where we are living should there be any kind SUZUKI SAMURAI | 1997, four-wheel drive, new tyres, - 8.30pm. Call Luci on 977059900 for more of emergency. We feel this will be greatly to our SPOTTED MARE | Section B Appaloosa | 4 yr old petrol engine, insurance paid till 07/09, ITV till 07/09. information. advantage.. mare. Childs riding pony( child of up to 7 years old). Very Perfect car. 3500Euros- Call Frank/Loes 628 577 294 FREEBIES & PROMOTIONS Problem Surgery, El Perelló at the Casa de Cultura. They pretty. 676 742 500 there each Tuesday between 11.00 and 12.30. 34 www.theolivepress.euCALL 695 492 487 35 business card directory THE AllLIVE entries are PRESS also listed on our directory online at www.theolivepress.eu. The Olive Press does not accept responsibility for the contents of the articles supplied by contributors nor for the claims made by advertisers PLEASE MENTION THE OLIVE PRESS WHEN CONTACTING ADVERTISERS NEW BUILDS REFORMS EXTENSIONS Interested in DANCE? For children’s dance classes, studying Ballet, Jazz & HipHop, W i l l i a m s also taking part in performances. Please contact C o n s t r u c t i o n Olivia on 659 225 068 REGISTERED SPANISH BUILDER - NIE PROVIDED � Or turn up � Monday evenings 6.00pm-8.00pm Tel: (+34) 616 135 036 APDO 274, L’Ametlla de Mar ���at Casals Restaurant in El P ���erelló NOW’S your chance! near the school A ordable Building Solutions Fully qualified tradesmen for all oury building needs. MINI DIGGER Ground works ♦Complete builds♦ Reforms♦ Extensions, etc. & DUMPER HIRE ����� WITH DRIVER References provided♦ Previous work viewable. HONEST, RELIABLE Tel: + 34 679 888 204 Nick & COMPETITIVE PRICES or + 34 686 069 923 Mark CALL CALEB 663 623 074 NO JOB TOO SMALL

��� Paul Darbishire � �

�

� Counsellor & Therapist

�

� �

� EURO 977 407 797 � � Are you experiencing relationship problems, problems with gambling, overeating, other people or sex, AIRCON problems adjusting to your life here in Spain, problems with alcohol or drugs. MOBILE CAR AIRCON ∙ REGAS SERVICE Would you like to speak in confidence to CAR REPAIRS ALSO UNDERTAKEN someone who will listen and offer TEL: 638 266 152 impartial and balanced suggestions.

YOUR OLIVE BUSINESS DIRECTORY FOR ENGLISH SPEAKERS PLUS AVAILABLE 24/7 ON OUR WEB SITE CALL TO ADD YOUR BUSINESS HERE TODAY ON 977 059 364 AND LET PEOPLE KNOW YOU ARE STILL IN BUSINESS. FUN EVENT AND FUND RAISING AT THE SAME TIME IN FLIX! CAN YOU A local group of dog lovers AFFORD NOT TO would like to organise an ADVERTISE! outdoor Sprintime 2009 event to raise money for the dogs´home in Mora la Nova. We would like to include a raffle, stalls, games etc., and would love to hear from anyone interested in donating prizes, Items for sale, time or support. Please contact 977 057 070 or [email protected] 36 www.theolivepress.eu 37 THE AllLIVE entries are PRESS also listed on our directory online at www.theolivepress.eu. The Olive Press does not accept business card directory responsibility for the contents of the articles supplied by contributors nor for the claims made by advertisers PLEASE MENTION THE OLIVE PRESS WHEN CONTACTING ADVERTISERS FISHING San Juan Experience CAT AND CARP Trail rides in beautiful rural South Catalonia. BANK OR BOAT Small groups, max 4 riders, ALL TACKLE SUPPLIED 1 hour 20 euros/35 for 2 hours EXTERIOR | INTERIOR LICENCES ARRANGED ACCOMMODATION Daily rides out from our nca, AVAILABLE - B & B OR S/C ride duration 1-2hrs. RIVERSIDE LODGE - RIBA ROJA D’EBRE SUPPLIED & FITTED TEL: 966 697 406 or 605 422 890 e-mail [email protected] CALL JOHN 616 135 036

Fully inclusive riding holidays. En-suite accommodation. Use of our large patio and pool area to relax and enjoy refreshments. For more details contact Alice 0034 671 681 515 or visit our web site www.sanjuanexperience.eu or e-mail: [email protected]

ENGLISH HAIRDRESSER Natural Horsemanship Trainer in Horsem Learn to create a harmonious ny a EL PERELLÓ o n relationship with your horse, s through developing good m h r i ground/foundation techniques. ALSO AVAILABLE FOR: p a Long lasting and gentle solutions to Facial•Waxing•Make-up•Eyebrow shaping H everyday problems. (leading,loading,catching,spooking) Horses don’t care how much you know-only how much you care! Barefoot Trimming Service - € 25 CALL SARAH: 646 935 770 Garry Goodfellow- 616213884 / 616183056 / [email protected]

MASSAGE Simple, easy to understand classes given one to one or in small groups no more than three. Native English speaker ACUPUNCTURE With more than 12 years experience in teaching Spanish from beginners Spanish to advanced and dialogue From just 60 euros per month for 8 hours Ring Annelisa for information 634 829 936

Plumbing Rendering Electrical Plastering Tiling Painting & Carpentry Decorating Repair of domestic appliances Building of IKEA flatpacks Complete Bathroom and Kitchen makeovers our speciality.

38 www.theolivepress.eu 39 WISHING ALL OUR READERS A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS & A PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR