Sex and the Impossible Stigma and Sexualities of Online Fantasy Fetish Content Creators

Home , Asian fetish, Fetish art, Foot fetishism, List of fetish artists, Partialism, Vorarephilia

Alexander V. Fort (11184744) [email protected] Department of Sociology- Gender and Sexuality University of Amsterdam

Supervised by Sarah Bracke Second Reader: Margriet Van Heesch

Submitted July 7th, 2017

Acknowledgements

To start, I’d like to thank the current US government for being absolute garbage regarding sexuality, driving me to find ways to fix it. I’d also like to thank the role-models in my life, who are too plentiful to list, for giving me the motivation and means to pursue my passions. Additionally, I’d like to express my dearest gratitude towards my partner, Jynx, as well as my family, for taking up my responsibilities back home and allowing me to go on a European adventure. I must also thank Gaby and all of the other friends I’ve made over here for their unwavering support and for encouraging me to get out of my own head.

I must thank my instructors for satisfying my curiosity in the subject matter, and giving me the tools necessary to pursue my own research. So, thank you Marie-Louise and Gert for imparting your knowledge and wisdom to me and others; I hope this makes you proud. Also, I have to express my sincerest gratitude to Sarah for every bit of help she gave me, because I absolutely needed it. I probably still do.

To my respondents, thank you very much for your time, your openness, and for your help. I hope this research helps you, and by proxy, the community. May the trials described in this work become documented as history rather than remain as present struggles. To those who responded that I didn’t get the chance to interview, I’m sorry. Had I more time, I would’ve gladly interviewed you all. To all of the others I contacted who didn’t get back to me...thanks, I guess. I didn’t need you anyways. I’m fine.

I acknowledge this research isn’t exactly the kind of thing I can share with the family or put on my CV, however I am grateful for the chance to conduct it and see it through to the end. As such, to those who’ve read this far, thank you for finding this interesting enough for a cursory glance. It’s easy to joke about everything, and I do hope you read this with an open mind and a light heart, but know that this is real. I didn’t include pictures so you can joke about how weird it is. This is not some novel treatise to be discussed over coffee, remarking upon the “oddities” contained within. My respondents had much to say on the matter, so respect them and their lives as such. However, I must admit that I’d be flattered if this thesis was openly discussed at all. So, you know, I trust that you will garner some understanding and dignity. Enjoy.

Table of Contents Ch. 1: Introduction 3

Ch. 2: Literature Review 5 Gayle Rubin’s Thinking Sex 5 Fetishism and Psychiatry 6 Goffman’s Symbolic Interactionism 7 Rosenmann- Push/Pull Factors of Online Empowerment 8

Ch. 3: Methodology 10 Sampling Method 10 Data Gathering 11 Ethical Considerations 12 Limitations of methodology 12

Ch. 4: Fetishism 14 Fantasy 16 Necessity of fantasy 18 Separation of fantasy and reality 20 Openness about Fetishism 21 Stigma 22 Summary 23

Ch. 5: Work and Art 25 Offline Lives 29 Stigma 33 Summary 34

Ch. 6: Online Community 35 Negatives of the Online Community 39 Offline community 42 Summary 43

Ch. 7: Conclusion 45

Appendix 47 Appendix A: Outreach Letter 47 Appendix B: Interview Questions 48 Appendix C: Demographics 51 Appendix D: Fantasy Fetish List and Examples 53

Bibliography 56

Ch. 1: Introduction

There is an informal rule of the internet, Rule 34, which dictates, "If it exists, there is porn of it – no exceptions" (Wikipedia, n.d.). This rule is generally cited in cases of fan-art or literotica (erotic stories) of a subject that would usually never be taken in a sexual context, such as fictional characters from cartoons or books. There is pornographic content involving Harry Potter, Teletubbies, The Muppets, and so much more. However, I find that the rule reaches further than anticipated, for it’s not restricted to characters, but events as well. When I first encountered instances of Rule 34 sexual expressions eight years ago, I quickly passed them off as ill-mannered jokes or the symptoms of mental illness. It wasn’t until, after years of digging into the content, that I realized that these depictions were legitimate, consistent sexual desires. It dawned on me that people can be aroused by things found exclusively in fantasy. This started my now decade-long quest to discover just how various and popular these desires are. However, I never considered the people who made these depictions. Their presented tastes are considered deviant and unhealthy by common society, it is very difficult for them to find a sexual partner who complements their desires, either through its rarity or from the fear of speaking publicly about it (Rosenmann, 2006). It comes as no surprise, then, that the internet is a wonderful haven for all variations of sexual desire (Durkin, 2006). I will focus on one specific genre: fetishists. There are online forums, like Fetlife, dedicated to the specific interests of each of the many niches of fetishism, including leather, balloons, panties, shoes, aliens, hair, muscles; pretty much anything one can imagine and more. These forums allow for a sense of community, as being around sympathetic others can remove the sense of isolation and can validate their socially-devalued sexual identity (Goffman, 1963). There is a specific genre of fetishism pertaining to physically impossible events. Fantasy has a place in every sexuality, but this specific genre is based in scenarios that are trapped in fantasy. For instance, this fetish generally focuses on events, like the scenes in Alice in Wonderland where she grows and shrinks, or moments in cartoons where one of the characters gets pumped full of air like a balloon. As such, most depictions of it are seen as outlandish, weird, or demeaning to the subjects portrayed. This leaves them appearing less legitimate to, or even unrecognized by, the greater fetish community. The online communities for this kind of fetishism are relatively small, but still cover a very wide range of attractions. As these kinds of events are fixated in fantasy, and with such a large variety of preferences, there are a surprisingly high number of members in the community who take the time to create content for this. These content creators illustrate pictures, produce comics, write stories, or even play out live action situations using camera tricks and props. Some do it for free, for the sake of art and sharing their creations, while others take commissions and put higher-quality content behind paywalls like Patreon. In this thesis, I investigate the personal lives of these producers, specifically how their sexuality and labor- the production of sexual representations/fantasies- work into it. There are many possible explanations for why they make this content, but virtually no empirical research into it. In producing this content, they put themselves in positions that may have an adverse

effect on their offline lives. This specific area of fetishism focuses on the physically impossible, and so I believe this limits their real-world sexual interactions. The DSM-V states that “many individuals who self-identify as fetish practitioners do not necessarily report clinical impairment in association with their fetish associated behaviors” (APA, 2013), but that does not detail the extent the role their fetish plays in the expression of their sexuality. The nature of their work could interfere with sexual expression, depending on how much they wish to disclose to their potential offline partners. On top of that, how much they share with the online community is unknown. It could be the case that they produce only what fits their erotic target, but they could also follow the demands of the market in order to make money off of it; it may even be their primary source of income. As it stands, it is unknown if what they include in their content is fully in line with their own desires or if they’re just putting as many tags in the work to appeal to consumers, and if this has any effect on their own sexuality. These producers also put themselves in the curious position in between the anonymity of online and the real-world representations of their sexual desires. Regardless of the medium, they still put themselves out into the public space of the internet. Artists and writers online have the comfort of anonymity, until they start making money, which can be traced (if someone were to care enough to dig). Actors, however, sometimes show their face, potentially exposing themselves (and associating themselves with these tastes) to people who could recognize them. The implications of outing their sexual tastes on their personal relationships, with family and friends, potential employers, as well as with romantic interests, are not well understood from the perspectives of those marked as sexual deviants. Either way, they are in the interest of making money off of this work, and so it could be argued that they want to earn some recognition within the community. As such, the primary interest of this thesis is to learn how they balance the pressures of stigma with the desire for self-exposure. I would also like to investigate how they perceive the role they play within the community, and how they view the community itself. While I have been personally researching this phenomena for just under a decade, this is my first chance to do so professionally. My research will explore the sexuality of online fetish content creators, specifically fantasy fetishes. The assumption is that their fetish, as well as the act of producing content on fetishism, affects aspects and experiences of their sexuality and their personal lives. As such, I will investigate this by answering these questions: How does stigma operate in the lives of this population? How does stigma affect the sexuality of this population? What are the possibilities and limitations of digital space for their work/sexuality? Does their work online empower them; if so, in what ways?

Ch. 2: Literature Review

Gayle Rubin’s Thinking Sex Human sexuality is often overlooked as a political topic. It’s brought up frequently in news and policy, but there’s always some aversion to recognize the reach sexuality has in our society. It shares many features of other political subjects, in that it “has its own internal politics, inequalities, and modes of oppression” (Rubin, 2002), and like all other behaviors, it is shaped by social structures. Social structures are dependent on their time and place. As such, they shift, sometimes drastically, giving rise to new social perspectives surrounding them. Western society’s views on human sexuality have shifted over the course of the past two centuries, but some views and misconceptions have lingered, tinging updated philosophies into maintaining archaic frameworks. Themes from the Enlightenment and religious asceticism still echo in modern sexual politics, perpetuated by views in medicine and law. Instances of this persistence are seen in the two sex/two gender model, as well as discourse surrounding abortion and marriage rights. Rubin argues that for sex to sufficiently function within the realm of politics, it requires a “radical theory which must identify, describe, explain and denounce erotic injustice and sexual oppression. Such a theory needs refined conceptual tools which can grasp the subject and hold it in view” (Rubin, 2002). However, as mentioned above, there are near timeless ideas surrounding sex that interfere with the formation of this theory. First, the idea of sexual essentialism, that sexual activity “is a natural force that exists prior to social life and shapes institutions” (Rubin, 2002). Western culture’s adherence to the idea that sex is instinctual and unchanging has permeated through medicine and psychiatry. To them, sex is the product of hormones and genetic memory, unaltered through its baseness. However, modern research and theory has shown sexualities to be socially shaped. It has recorded history and has shown to change throughout. It is not as biologically determined to the extent previously asserted, because social practices and cultural beliefs condition the expressions of acceptable and unacceptable sexual behavior. This regulation leads to repression, stigma, and the perpetuation of essentialist thought. Next is sexual negativity. Western culture views sex as potentially destructive, and those who view it too favorably are held under suspicion; they must have acceptable reasons to enjoy engaging in sexual activity, like marriage or reproduction. Even then, sex is not permitted the level of exploration or indulgence that we give to food or fiction. This leads into the third, which is the fallacy of misplaced scale, where minor differences in sexual taste can be treated as egregious acts. The continued existence of sodomy laws in some US states shows that enjoying anal sex can be seen as a criminal offense (Eskridge, 2009). This is because Western culture holds sexual acts under a hierarchal system of sexual value, with marriage, reproduction, and heterosexuality held in the highest prestige1. Beneath that,

1 Heteronormativity is the term used to describe the merit placed on the performance of these ideals (Warner, 1991).

monogamy rests, which can include homosexuals if they emulate the practices of the top tier. Last are the stigmatized, which includes sex workers, trans-individuals, and sexual “deviants,” like fetishists, transvestites, BDSM practitioners, and pedophiles. Individuals who practice behaviors prescribed to the highest tier are granted social privileges and institutional support, while those who fall outside of this are presumed to be mentally ill, criminal, and not to be associated with. This condemnation is supported by social institutions, like psychiatry and the media, to justify the lesser status of these lower-tier behaviors.This is also enforced by the domino theory of sexual peril, citing that these sanctions against sexual deviance are the only thing stopping the collapse of modern civilization. It basically subscribes to the slippery slope logical fallacy, arguing that allowing one group to be accepted opens the gates to justify allowing others into the circle, until everything is permitted and society falls into sexual chaos and utter depravity. This can be seen in reactionary quotes during homosexual marriage debates, citing “If we allow the gays to marry, what’s going to stop people from marrying their dogs?” (Dameron, 2013) The last concept holding back a comprehensive theory of sex is the lack of a concept of benign sexual variation. It is apparent from the structuring of the sexual hierarchy that Western societies deem that there is only one true, healthy way to have sex, and that it’s the standard everyone should follow. In all systems of life, there is variation. Unfortunately, all of these concepts combined discourage open discourse about sexuality, for fear that one will be persecuted or ostracized for engaging in variant sexual expression. This suppresses non-normative sexual behavior, further reducing its respectability and acceptability within social institutions.

Fetishism and Psychiatry

One of the most influential institutions responsible for the othering of sexual variation is psychiatry. Prolific 19th century psychiatrist and sex researcher, Richard von Krafft-Ebing, was one of the first to medicalize fetishistic sexual behavior in his book, Psychopathia Sexualis (1886). He described the behavior as “the peculiar or unreasonable fascination and sexual meaning that objects, or their parts or simply their oddities, had to some individuals because of their association to something else” (Bullough, 1994). This concept was picked up by other notable psychiatrists, like Sigmund Freud, who each took their turn attempting to explain the origins of this behavior and recommendations on how to fix those who suffered from it. This continued affirmation that sexual fetishism was a perversion2, meant to be diagnosed and treated, perpetuated the public view that this sexual deviation was problematic (Bullough, 1994). Wilhelm Stekel, one of Freud’s first followers and “most distinguished pupils” (Wittels, 1924), took a controversially different direction than his predecessors. He argued that not all fetishism is unhealthy by specifying that it’s only when someone foregoes all human interaction for the desired object that it becomes extreme. He was also the first person to coin the term paraphilia, which refers to “any intense and persistent sexual interest other than sexual interest in genital

2 The concept of perversion was formerly religious. To pervert, emphasis on the suffix -vert (meaning “to turn), is to turn away from the proper course. So, originally, perversion referred to atheism/heresy . The shift from the religious context to a sexual one is attributed to Havlock Ellis, who used it in relation to patients with atypical sexual behavior (Bering, 2013).

stimulation or preparatory fondling with phenotypically normal, physically mature, consenting human partners” (APA, 2013). The concept and wording of paraphilia, as opposed to perversion, helped secure psychiatry’s legitimacy in opposition to “abnormal” sexual behavior. It eventually made its way into the third edition of the American Psychological Association’s formal text, the Diagnostics & Statistics Manual in 1980 (Money, 1984). And so, in present times, fetishism is perceived as a form of sexual variation still medicalized in the DSM-V as basis for a sexual disorder. In it, fetishism is clinically defined as “the recurrent and intense sexual arousal from either the use of non-living objects or a highly specific focus on non-genital body part(s), as manifested by fantasies, urges, or behaviors” (APA, 2013). Of course, this entire concept is built around the idea that there are appropriate objects and body parts to be aroused by, and therefore inappropriate objects and body parts to find arousing, and diversion from these requires differentiation and classification. Defining fetishism in terms of sociology is difficult because it is primarily used in diagnosis, and the interviewees and myself are not aware of any other concepts more appropriate to base or define the subject of this research. As such, I am inclined to work within this definition. In this case, in my personal research, considering the community researched, I must argue that this definition is severely lacking. Mainly, this does not recognize scenarios, despite them having been noted in common discourse (Scorolli, 2007). A reason for this might have to do with their presentation makes them more appropriate in the realm of other “paraphilias,” like BDSM. However, this doesn’t account for sexualized scenarios like cuckolding/cuckqueaning, lactation, or feederism. These examples are not deemed respectable by Western society’s standards, and they can be the source of recurrent and intense sexual arousal and manifested by fantasies, urges, and behaviors. Also, the present definition strongly discounts the importance of fantasy. It does acknowledge it, but it asserts that one has to have urges and also act on these fantasies in order to be a fetishist.

Goffman’s Symbolic Interactionism

These sexual desires, which are considered abnormal by society at large, are surrounded with a metaphorical social miasma, stigma. This stigma, as Goffman (1963) would describe it, is a stigma of character traits: “blemishes of individual character perceived as weak will, domineering, or unnatural passions, treacherous and rigid beliefs, and dishonesty.” Stigma is the result of something defying the expectation of societal norms. Society does not approve of these desires, and so it developed theories to explain them and to rationalize the discrimination against people with them. This discrimination pressures individuals with fetishes into maintaining a level of secrecy about it, limiting their capacity to both publicly practice and discuss them openly. This can interfere with sexual expression and even cause them to internalize the negative perceptions of their status, which can lead to shame. This group, according to Goffman (1963), falls under the category of “discreditable” stigma, in that it is not outwardly apparent. Their “deviant” sexual desires are difficult to discover, more so than others because they’re only available through representations. Regardless, the researched group is part of a society that promotes repronormativity, in that it believes there is a strong biological imperative surrounding sexual behavior; sex is meant for

procreation (Downing, 2015). Traditional fetishism defies this ideal because the erotic targets are infertile. It also has the additional factor of sexualizing things society deems asexual. Becker (1963) claimed that society uses labels to proclaim an “otherness” to marginalized groups, and therefore assert power over them. This is evidenced by society labelling this group, and all paraphilias, as having “unnatural” or “perverted” sexual interests to delegitimize them. It does not condone them, let alone making money from producing content involving those interests (Bradley, 2007). This combination of being seen as mentally ill, sexual deviants, and pornographers puts them under several layers of stigma. Also, this stigma permeates all areas of their interpersonal lives; their (potential) jobs, friends, family, and romantic partners. They must handle this mixing of private life and public expression on the internet, as well as the pressure of maintaining a respectable facade. This burden is a drain on their willpower, and every social interaction carries the risk of them failing to conceal their true nature. It is unknown how much of their identity or work they keep secret. However, Goffman also postulated that the stigmatized must develop methods of coping with the social pressures against them, and the most prominent of these is finding acceptance on the internet.

Rosenmann- Push/Pull Factors of Online Empowerment

Goffman allows us to see what pressures stigma places on individuals, and argues what stigmatized individuals to in response to this. However, this doesn’t explain the mechanisms of how they find similar individuals, or what draws them into specific communities. Goffman’s works predate the internet, and so he couldn’t account for the advancements and trends of modern times. Complementing his ideas, Rosenmann’s theory (2006) asserts that the internet has become a haven for sexual minorities because of two forces. There are Push Factors, which are aspects of the offline world that disrupt their ability to find sexual fulfillment. These consist of social value structures, cultural beliefs, and physical hindrance. On the other hand, pull factors are aspects of the internet that pull people to it. These are based off the Triple A Engine model, which says that people pursue sexuality online because its anonymity, accessibility, and affordability (Cooper, 2000). By combining these two, this theory tries to account for what makes the internet so appealing to sexual minorities, mainly by focusing on specific online sexualities. Offline, there are very few support systems for sexual minorities, especially fetishists, outside of psychiatry, which comes with its own preconceptions and stigma; they are taboo and in need of “fixing.” Additionally, the supposed rarity, and concealable nature, of fetishism make offline interactions, or even finding others with similar tastes, difficult. This, alongside stigma, are strong Push Factors for this group. However, with the existence of online communities for every sexual desire imaginable, sexual minorities can find themselves interacting with people just like them. They can express themselves freely (to an extent) and may even feel sexually empowered, despite the offline restrictions, through the support of their peers (Adler, 2008). There, they are relatively free to express their desires, and find others in the world with similar interests (Durkin, 2004). Depending on how they interact with this community, they can challenge the internalized stigma surrounding their desires and actually feel empowered through

it (Rosenmann, 2006). Unfortunately, the management of simultaneous offline/online lives can cause mental strain, likely causing the individual to invest more time into the domain that treats them best; online. Also, this sexual empowerment gained from online support can loosen their adherence to social standards, possibly causing them to out themselves and open themselves up to direct stigma.

Ch. 3: Methodology

To start, it must be stated that there is very little research in this field. There has been, as far as I can find, no other research regarding this genre of fetishism nor any material about it. I may be the first to formally recognize and define it academically, which makes this research exploratory as well. Most research on fetishism is based in psychology, making it clinical. This isn’t intrinsically bad, but it reinforces negative standards, like that there’s right and wrong sexual expressions. Clinical research also pays little attention to the lived experiences of the people involved, or the way they draw meaning from their lives. As such, to properly investigate my research questions, a qualitative approach is most appropriate. This research is based in symbolic interactionism. By investigating individuals’ experiences, it allows me to focus more on themes and facets of their lives in relation to their work and their sexual interests, as well as the interaction between the two. A quantitative approach would not work, as one’s sexuality is a deeply personal and unique aspect of their life, especially if if falls outside of societal acceptance. Trying to put numbers on such a varied population’s lives would accomplish nothing, especially with such a small sample size. I believe there is no one more qualified to report on the effects of fetishism than those who live with it. This aligns with standpoint epistemology (Haraway, 1988), which argues that marginalized groups are more qualified to comprehend certain factors of their lives than outsiders. The differences in perspectives give a wider, more comprehensive range to the data gathered and conclusions drawn. I have a commitment to grounded theory, which means that I must be aware of my preconceptions surrounding the topic and adjust them accordingly to the data gathered. As found in some of my interview questions, I assumed that all content creators in this fetish community were fetishists themselves, and that the content of their work would be influenced by the online community. I also came into this with disagreements regarding formally recognized concept of fetishism, in that it’s incomplete and labelled as a psychiatric issue.

Sampling Method

Finding potential interviewees was not difficult. Having explored several online communities on my own for the past eight years, I’d become familiar with the more prolific, popular content producers. There are at least four established mediums for this fetish content: illustration, writing, 3d rendering, and live-action. I wanted to contact content producers from each in equal measure to gain a more comprehensive view of the differences and similarities in how they and the community interact. However, these are not populated or respected equally, and so my outreach favored illustrators. From preliminary research, I have observed that they frequently credit themselves in their work and follow the work of similar artists on their online profiles. I limited my search and contact to Tumblr, DeviantArt, and Reddit. The content producers aren’t limited to these sites, but I am most comfortable making contact through these. I preferred sending a direct email, if it

was openly available. If not, I contacted them though the host site’s private messaging service. I introduced myself, my background, the goals of my research, and the requirements from their side. I then provided contact information and offered to answer any questions they had3. Follow-up contact was encouraged to be done through my student email account, but two-thirds of the correspondence was done through the sites’ private messaging. After I had exhausted my initial list of potential candidates, I searched through their profiles for works they had favorited, finding related artists whose content contained elements of fantasy-fetish content, like expansion, shrinking, attribute theft, absorption, or inflation. There were some difficulties with this searching method, as these sites are also populated by “commission artists,” which are users whose profiles feature content they themselves did not produce. Rather they were the ones who paid other artists to draw their concepts or characters, and so they get to post it on their profile instead. I had accidentally contacted several of these since I didn’t check the postings details to see who actually did the work. They were understanding and pointed me in the direction of their favorite artists. I was also pointed towards other producers during interviews, either being referenced as inspiration or a notable suggestion after the interviewees gained a good idea of what I was looking for. It was my intention to interview as many respondents as I could get, with no preference towards any gender, age, sexuality, or representation media. Getting variation in gender was a major ambition, as current theory states that fetishism “is [clinically] nearly exclusively reported in males” (APA, 2013), and so getting female or non-binary input would shed some light on a supposed minority in an already overlooked group. Also, as this is already a large endeavor, and with such a limited time, I only investigated the heterosexual representations of these fetish. Overall, I contacted seventy-two content producers. I heard back from twenty-nine, three of those being outright refusals. Of the remaining twenty-six, I was able to arrange and complete interviews with eighteen. After the interviews were completed, I was contacted by two other content producers who’d heard from word-of-mouth of my research and offered themselves to be interviewed. Sadly, I lacked the time to be able to include them.

Data Gathering

I believe in-depth, semi-structured interviews are the best method for this research, as I wish to explore the different ways interviewees draw meaning from stigmatized concepts in their daily lives; no other method gives better access to this privileged information (Hennink, 2011). Structured interviews do not allow for improvised exploration, account for unforeseen details, or further questioning, and they generally feel stilted. It took roughly four interviews before I ironed out my question list4 to phrase them in such a way so as to avoid repetition and minimize confusion. I included questions for some quantitative information, such as the demographics, to account for any possible influence from factors like race or gender on their fetish presentation and perception of stigma.

3 Appendix A 4 Appendix C

I conducted a total of eighteen interviews, fifteen of which were done through instant messaging chats through Skype, G+, and Discord. The other three were conducted through Skype calls, and only one of those involved video feed. The instant messaging interviews roughly two-three hours each, while Skype calls took about one hour each.

Ethical Considerations

I have taken steps to ensure the wellbeing of interviewees throughout the thesis process. As they are a vulnerable group with some following within their community, I’ve guaranteed the protection of their personal identity, as well as kept related information separate from their online persona. I believe assigning aliases and omitting their (and others referenced) usernames and identifiable information will safekeep their identity. Their transcripts, recordings, and demographic information have been coded outside their assigned aliases and saved in password-secured folders; all of these will be thoroughly destroyed upon the publication of this thesis. I gave the interviewees information sheets detailing these steps, as well as informing them about their options before, during, and after the interview process. Due to the sensitive nature of the material, they were informed that they did not have to answer any question they were uncomfortable with, they were free to withdraw from participation with zero repercussions, and that they could ask any questions of their own. Following that, I had them sign consent forms, which permitted me to ethically record our conversations.

Limitations of methodology

The largest shortcoming this research has is the sampling bias. Those I reached out to were notable within the community, in that they are prolific, popular, and established; in short, they are not average in the community. Also, despite reaching out to so many candidates, my results are limited to those who were comfortable enough to be interviewed. Not only were they comfortable to agree to an interview, but none of them refused to answer any questions, with only one denying my requests for demographic information. Granted, the large majority of them were not comfortable with any contact beyond instant messaging, but they openly shared, nonetheless. As is expected, there are intrinsic flaws with interviews. To start, I contacted artists on the internet, with little information besides their usernames and what they shared on their profiles; I did not know where they were located. Therefore, I ran into difficulties when it came to coordinating times for interviews, as we had to account for timezone differences and their personal responsibilities. More importantly for this research, the answers that were given during the instant messaging interviews were not as candid as I’d have preferred. This is likely due to the ability of the interviewees to carefully word their responses before sending them. On the other hand, the live interviews yielded more thorough and open responses, and gave more room for follow-up. Again, even though the participants were comfortable enough to agree to interviews, the very nature of the topics brought up likely had an impact on what/how much they

disclosed. Interviews, or any reporting, must recognize the inevitable purposeful (or unknowing) omission of details from participants, especially in light of the sensitivity surrounding the topics. I must acknowledge that my status as a male, and that the studied group primarily consisted of English-speaking, Western, white, male-bodied individuals in their twenties to thirties, likely had an impact on the responses given. Since I am dependent on answers given, the conclusions’ accuracy cannot be guaranteed. I only know as much as is shared, and so additional data is required from more varied sources to get a more complete picture. Given all of this, I can say with certainty that my results are not representative of the fantasy fetish community as a whole.

Ch. 4: Fetishism

“Of course, I always tell people who really pry that I create fetish content, so would I consider myself a fetishist? Like, yes, I create it and I contribute to that sort of content, but no, in that I cannot partake in it. It’s not like it’s something I can go out and find...and do, like bondage or watersports or feet. My stuff resides more on the conceptual level.”- Simon

When asked to define fetishism, the interviewees gave answers that didn’t necessarily line up with the APA established definition. Most of them described the basic definition of paraphilia: sexual desires that fall outside of “normal”. They then justified this, and their own sexual interests, by stating that they feel that everyone has some form of fetishism. This coincides with Goffman’s (1963) theory, as he stated that,

“It seems possible for an individual to fail to live up to what we effectively demand of them, and yet be relatively untouched by their failure; insulated by their alienation, protected by identity beliefs of their own, they feel that they are a fully-fledged human being, and that we are the ones that are not quite human. The bear a stigma but do not seem to be impressed or repentant about doing so.”

The respondents argued that everyone is intensely aroused by at least one thing that society doesn’t approve of being in a sexual context, and those who deny it haven’t found it yet. The overall consensus on fetishism, described by fetishists, is that it’s just like any other sexual behavior; a means to relieve stress and experience pleasure. While the target of their fetishes are considered weird and unnatural by society, therefore making it a fetish, the purpose is the same. This contrast between the prescribed definition and what is reported illustrates the importance of alternative knowledge claims. In accordance with standpoint epistemology, there is value in the information gathered outside of purely professional sources. In this current sexual climate, we cannot know how “abnormal” these desires are (Joyal, 2015). Additionally, the classification of fetishism as “weird” is based on the social hierarchy’s preference towards heteronormativity. Some respondents remarked that vanilla sex is called that because it’s generally seen as boring, but neglects the fact that under the right circumstances, it can also be lewdly explicit. Foot fetishism wouldn’t be a thing if society didn’t find any issues with feet; it exists by virtue of being rejected. One respondent, Desmond, summed it up best;

“I think we all have our own likes and dislikes. Defining what a fetish is is not as easy as some would make it seem. For me a fetishism can be as simple as someone who derives extreme pleasure from eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, or who has very plain vanilla sex with a partner and it is what derives true happy pleasure for them. My personal feelings are just that. The developed responses to what make me happy. I accept that everyone has their own thing that does something for them.”

The respondents believe they are just like everyone else, denying their stigmatized “otherness” by asserting that everyone else is just as deviant; they just don’t know it yet. They acknowledge the importance of social context on sexual normalcy while simultaneously acknowledging that society does not agree with them regardless. Fantasy fetishism shows some flaws of the APA definition, as well as why there needs to be changes to it; it might even be better throw it out altogether. Members within this fetish community refer to it as “fantasy fetishism” due to the fact that the concepts and scenarios that they find arousing are based in fantasy and impossible in reality. What separates fantasy fetishism from other defined paraphilias, like partialism5 or BSDM, is the focus on the event itself rather than the constituent parts. Jeff said, “I enjoy size play. It’s more the concept of growing or shrinking that arouses me than the end result, the situations that it could get you into.” If the focus was specifically on large breasts or doll-sized characters, then there wouldn’t be such a wide variety of material dedicated to showing the transition. Another notable feature of this is how much comorbidity there is between fantasy fetishes. Most of the artists interviewed did not focus on one specific fetish in their work. This would make classification somewhat difficult, but the community has been able to define working labels for specific genres of fantasy fetishism. All fetishes, by definition, are rooted in taking the non-sexual sexually. While this thesis is not aimed to explain where these fetishes come from, or how people can have intense sexual arousal from situations that cannot be found in reality, every content creator who was aroused by the content in their work was able to cite a non-sexual source of these fetishes; finding the online community was more of a result of sexual curiosity than the online community initiating the sexual feelings. Granted, not all of them attributed these sources to their sexual interests. When asked about their inspiration for these fetishes, the content creators described cartoons in their youth6. Most common references were anime, 80’s/90’s cartoons where they had a growth/shrinking gag, and movies like Willy Wonka and Attack of the 50 Foot Woman. This shows that many seemingly innocent plot devices in these shows have the capacity to be sexualized.7 The respondents aroused by their work speak of discovery in regards their interest in the fantasies. Their internet browsing didn’t create an interest in them as much as it encouraged them to continue searching for things they enjoyed. Fantasy fetishism, as I described earlier, is anchored in the imagination, which gives it a unique set of limitations and advantages. The role of fantasy in this is absolute, allowing the material to surpass common expectation. The only real limitations are in physical manifestation, leaving its primary means of attainment to representations. So, anything can be illustrated or authored, but it remains trapped as just that. Some of the respondents held some internal conflict over the fact that they could so clearly portray their fantasies without being able to physically experience them.

5 sexual interest with an exclusive focus on a specific part of the body other than the genitals (APA, 2013) 6 There is an internet debate on the intentions of the writers/animators of the show “Totally Spies,” as every single episode is centered around at least one fetish, fantasy included (Totally Spies!, n.d.). 7 I’ve compiled and defined a list of common fantasy fetishes, as well as gathered some example works, which are in Appendix D.

Fantasy

“I heard that it’s okay to have fantasies that cannot be fulfilled in the real world. It’s part of the normal psychological state.” -Em

The respondents’ sharing of their fantasies and work online shows one way they defy social taboo and open themselves up to stigma. One would be hard-pressed to find an individual devoid of fantasies. Fantasies are the combination of imagination and desires, a form of escapism and a source of drive. “Sexual fantasy refers to almost any mental imagery that is sexually arousing or erotic to the individual” (Leitenberg, 1995), and it can be argued that fantasy is almost essential to fetishistic sexuality (Bestard, 2008). Sociology has conducted much research regarding sexual representations, and their effects on social reality, but comparatively very little on sexual fantasy. This genre of fetishism is anchored in fantasy. While sexual fantasies portray an ideal, they often conflict with the actual, external desires. It’s not just a matter of practicality. In line with their origin stories, most of the respondents see their fantasies as “crazy ideas bouncing around” in their heads. As such, their work is their fantasies, a means of expressing their desires. Everyone I spoke to was quite comfortable with these fantasies, mostly because they don’t harm anyone. For some fetishes, like vore8, while the arousal may come from pain, death, loss of control, the actual content never escapes the page. They’re just fantasies, and every interviewee expressed that. They stated that every sexual desire is fine, that people should be allowed to like what they like, so long as they don’t force their desires on anyone or get lost in them.

“I understand people who make comics about rape. Of course it’s a very bad thing in real life; only a monster would do that in real life. But there are comics with this fantasy, and to me, that’s okay. There are some comics on Tumblr with underage stuff, and I cannot believe for one second after exchanging with the artists that do that, that that’s something they’d like to see in real life. But it always horrifies me when news breaks out when some defender of family values is caught with his pants down with a prostitute. Yeah, so, that’s what surprised me the most in this community: there are nice people with normal social lives and the people who are very bigoted are the ones who try enact these fantasies in real life. So now I think it’s okay to have these fantasies; just don’t try to force them on other people.”-Em

To my surprise, Matt admitted to being a pedophile and emphasized clearly that he is not a child molester. I was not expecting him to share this compromising piece of his identity, because he could have easily not brought it up. In the social hierarchy of sexual behaviors, pedophilia has been gained the status of being unforgivable. Reminiscent of McCarthyism, pedophilia is met with absolute societal opposition; even the rumor of it can ruin a career. And

8 Short for vorarephilia, which is the erotic desire to consume, or be consumed by, another person or creature (Lykins, 2014).

Matt was very aware of this. He remarked upon society’s intolerance and blindness to the distinction between attraction and action, both online and offline. He reports difficulties with finding and distributing material regarding this, despite the fact that the representations do not depict real people. These hurdles have a negative effect on him, and the lolicon9 community as a whole, for tastes they are not responsible for having. However, what’s to be said about harmful desires that become enacted is less tolerant. The respondents expressed discomfort when talking about some people’s desire for rape, sex with underage persons, and killing, mostly due to the fact that those are very possible things to do to real people. For most of the content creators, they felt that their fantasies were something to share. Fantasy allows for exploration of pleasure beyond pragmatism; “this kind of play on the concept of impossibility of this extravagance and the mundane.” Fantasy, within fantasy fetishism, allows for a different kind of escalation than traditional desires. The human body has limitations in this reality, but fantasy gives possibilities to questions like, “What if it could be bigger? Bigger than that even? What can we do with that?” The answer to all of those is anything, and the only limitation is the creator’s imagination. Some respondents expressed that their fantasies made them unique, “Something that is only mine.” Everyone’s preferences, and the aspects they like about each, are unique to the individual; how big is too big, favorite catalyst to set off the fantasy events, rates and what happens after. Some like giantess because of the shift in power relations, others feel that there’s just more to enjoy and possibilities to explore. Some chase this for size, others pursue exploration of sexual fantasies and the emotions one can evoke through art.

“The fact of the matter is, is there anything too horrifying? Too sickening? Too happy? How do you take this concept of emotion or this idea, and how do you have too much of an idea that is immeasurable in the first place. Yes, I mean, when a piece gets too out there, it loses it’s arousing properties, and it just becomes this illustration of this weird thing that’s interesting in its own right. You know, because at that point, it’s a twist on the human body, almost like cubism. You know? Like abstract, you see a lot of the human forms twisted and represented in a way that’s just weird.” -Simon

Most of the interviewees report starting off uncomfortable with their sexuality, and they have become more okay with it over time. The reasons for this are unique to the individual, but can be grouped. Some feel this comfort comes from the idea that their tastes are relatively vanilla in comparison to what others are doing, at least in the sites they visit. Others say they’re comfortable with it because they acknowledge that it’s all just fantasy and that they’d never want to actually subject a human being to this. Others are comfortable because they separate their sexuality and their personal identity, i.e. “I am not my fetishes.” Others feel like their fetishes define their sexuality, and help them experience greater pleasure. Lastly, a few have always been comfortable.

9 Based on Nabokav’s book, Lolita, this refers to the genre of Japanese manga and anime that features prepubescent girls in erotic contexts (Clements, 1999, p.43).

Three of the respondents expressed discomfort with their sexuality. Em holds some mixed feelings about their work, in regards to how women are portrayed in porn and in the media. He tries to be progressive, but his sexual arousal comes from arguably objectifying material, which he attributes to his teenage fascination with buxom models and related pornography. Jay holds apprehension towards his fetishes that delve into the illegal or violate moral values, ethics, and religion. He does his best to not include these in his work. Vic used to believe he was messed up or that there was something wrong with him, so he worked on keeping it a secret. However, because it was in his mind, no one could tell him what he should or should not do. So his brain still fights with itself, especially when seeing his fetishes in a non-sexual context. For him to feel comfortable with it, it has to be in some kind of play scenario/porn. Lastly, Gabe stated, “I’m not super bothered by it, I guess, but it is a kind of weird dumb thing.”

Necessity of fantasy

The general consensus is that fantasies are viewed as inevitable, enduring, and require an outlet. Someone compared it to someone with violent tendencies, in that they should find a way to express the urges and probably see a therapist if they have issues with anger. Some report feeling satisfaction with their own fantasies, that they could be locked in a room with a pen and paper and be content. Others stated that they felt a need for new ideas, which is part of the draw for the community. There was no agreement regarding the rigidity of their sexual tastes, as some reported a shift over time and others said that their tastes haven’t changed at all. Others stated that when looking through fantasy fetish content, they still try to focus on things that visually look similar to sex. All of them reported that they do not need their fetishes to attain pleasure; it just helps. Gabe stated, “My work is self-indulgent fantasy, but the content is not something I *need*, sex-wise.” It’s viewed as an arousal enhancer. As a content creators, they have the theoretical capacity make anything they could ever want. They also reported that their fetishes aren’t controlling in a way that they could only be happy with a partner that aligns with their fantasies. They went on to clarify that emotional connections were more important than physical attributes in a partner, and that, “You’re not going to get fulfilled by chasing some physical manifestation of a fetish.” However, some admitted that they occasionally have emotional hang-ups about never getting to experience it. When asked about trying to include their fetish in their sex lives, more than half responded that they didn’t have one. Fantasy presents itself in all sexual desires. It is a goal, the motivation for pursuing the ideal. For some, it’s a threesome with celebrities. For others, it can be experiencing a form of spiritual synthesis with their partner(s). The range of potential fantasies is as varied as the people who hold them, and whether people actually enjoy their fantasies once attained in reality is dependent on many factors. For example, there was a study of feederism10, where the

10 Erotic weight gain, typically composed of people who derive pleasure from being fed or from feeding (Bestard, 2008).

researcher interviewed individuals who identified themselves as feeders or feedees and engaged in this behavior (Bestard, 2008). Each person involved had their own preference about how far they were willing to go, either in their personal target weight or the weight they’d allow their partner to go. There was a strong distinction between how much someone was willing to gain, stopping before immobilization, versus how much they fantasized about gaining, sometimes room-filling. Very few of the participants stated that they’d be willing to give up independent living, or cater to someone who has, for sexual pleasure. In this case, fantasy allowed both sides of the feeder/feedee relationship to explore past the limitations of the human body, and still derive sexual pleasure from that potentially unreachable goal. Ultimately, fantasy presents itself in reality as a negotiation, balancing what one wants in relation to what one can have (Groenevelt, 2012). This is theorized in the realm of psychiatry, as something can be defined as a sexual disorder if it impairs one’s sexual expression or causes psychosocial distress (Silva, 1993). For fetishism, the DSM-V describes the “typical impairments associated with fetishistic disorder include sexual dysfunction during romantic, reciprocal relationships when the preferred fetish object or body part is unavailable during foreplay or coitus” (APA, 2013). Extrapolating this concept further, to include scenarios, this material asserts that the absence of this stimulus could have negative effects on these fetish holders. Granted, is based on the fear of sexual variation, in that one with “abnormal” sexual desires must enact these sexual fantasies to be happy. However, all but one of the respondents, excluding those without fetishes, expressed no significant sexual difficulties due to the physical inaccessibility their fetishes. Vic, however, reported problems related to his vore fantasies. He admitted to forming an obsession some time ago, where all he did was make and consume fetish content; he couldn’t become reliably aroused by anything else. He admits it negatively affected his life. He became fixated on the pleasure, leading to him neglecting his social life and responsibilities. He had to have his pleasure all the time, so he started to drink alcohol when he couldn’t look at the fetish content. He used marijuana to enhance the feelings. It really hit him after he spent two weeks visiting a long-distance girlfriend (who also shared his fetishes) and felt unsatisfied from sex with her. He admitted he ended up spending a lot of time in her closet masturbating to fetish fantasies. He described it as;

“I have to admit, through these years I became addicted to it. And I started to create my own reality. Because this fetish is really unique. You can’t do it with other people. You can find maybe - if you find someone with a similar interest - you can role play with them. But it wasn’t really a thing. I kinda made my own perfect image about the girls. So it kinda twisted my mind, pretty much, but only these days I’ve started to realize that this is not really good for me. Because I started to become more and more distant from people. And of course as a human you need some kind of, well… people around you. Even if you’re living in a fantasy world.”

He recognized what it was doing to him and his capacity to work and make art, so he decided to work on improving himself so he could start enjoying things again. He has started taking steps to train his brain to enjoy “vanilla” things again. When asked about wanting to enact those fantasies, he was reticent. He loved the idea, but when it came to actually being

consumed, he said he’d rather share the company of a dominant woman who liked to eat; it captures the essence of his fantasies without committing to being eaten alive.

Separation of fantasy and reality

“I would never wish my fetishes on a real person. The sizes I go to, on a real woman, would be terrible. They’re fantasy for a reason. A lot of this stuff, if real, would be kind of depressing if you really think about it.” -Adrian

All of the respondents stated that everyone must be able to draw the boundaries of their fantasies and reality, and this is not restricted to sexuality. As seen in Vic’s case, respondents warned that It’s easy to become addicted when someone has the capacity to constantly feed themselves specialized content with little possibilities for outside substitutes. It’s easy to lose oneself in a fantasy world, especially coupled with unlimited access to the internet. This appears to be a rare instance where the respondents agreed with formal material on the matter of fetishism being a disorder. However, in this sense, I believe they aren’t speaking directly about it as a sexual disorder. Rather, they see it more as an overarching problem beyond fetishism. They see this coincide with the dangers of holding an unobtainable standard, citing that these have the potential to ruin relationships and lead to social regression.

“Quite honestly, when it comes to physical attraction, I don’t really care. What I draw and what I’m attracted to are two totally different things. The drawing is a concept, but people are people, and you have to like them for who they are; you can’t just shoehorn them into this kind of objectification. You can’t objectify them.” -Simon

Most of them are comforted by the fact that their fantasies don’t involve real humans. If it were to take place in reality, the sizes and/or actions (giantess, vore) would be horrifying. “I would never ask a woman to act as a complete airhead/bimbo to fit my fantasy,” which gives credence to the notion that fantasy fetishists do not need, or even want, to attain their fantasies in reality, similar to people with rape fantasies (Masters, Johnson, & Kolodny, 1988). They are also horrified by people who actually commit rape/underage, but understanding people who make content depicting it. One remarked about despising the irony of the “defender of family values” being the one caught doing forcing their fantasies on others, a narrative that continues to find itself in headlines (Young, 1982). This calls back to Matt’s situation, where he is aroused by underage content, but has no intention of bringing it to life. Some, however, are not deterred from playing with the idea in reality. One stated, “I know it's a fantasy that is hard to imitate in real life, though I know there's enthusiasts that get creative, like stuffing shirts, or even wear inflatable suits to try and imitate their fantasy.” Many of the respondents recognized the capacity of role-playing. Leon stated that he role-plays with his wife, since they don’t have the money to afford props or sex toys. However, he noted, “Sometimes we try something that looks exciting visually, but it turns out isn’t as enjoyable to do

in real life.” Jeff stated that he role-plays frequently with his wife, as she has her own fetishes. He is ecstatic that he has the opportunity to do this, as he knows how difficult it can be for others without, like Vic.

Openness about Fetishism

“Including myself, I have found that fetishes like this tend to attract people who have social phobias offline. Over the years, I've talked to many content creators and lurkers who are deathly afraid of parents or friends finding out. Many who are jobless and are very afraid of interactions. It's a little sad because of my fetishes, it has improved my life because I was so open. It's always been a goal of mine to help people open up in the real world as well” -Adrian

Everyone felt it was important to disclose their fetishes to their partner, but not all were comfortable with the idea of doing so personally. Those currently in relationships have disclosed their fetishes to their partners, but some were discovered by the partner before they could come out about it. Both of those situations were uncomfortable for those involved. In two relationships, their partners shared their fetishes, had different fetishes of their own, or were at least accommodating. Every participant reported that a potential partner did not need to share their fetishes, but it would be a bonus. Those who were previously in relationships reported some problems, but rarely were the fetishes directly responsible. One stated that his ex-girlfriend was uncomfortable with his fetishes and felt he was comparing her with content of his work. He assured her that the fetishes were impossible, so comparison is impossible, but she had difficulties understanding that. Openness with their family and friends was a different matter. Vic and Justin reported that their mothers knew about their work and fetishes, and that they were discovered outside of their control. Vic’s mom found out after he’d started making money from it. He reports that she was accepting, and was the one to remind him that he should be taking steps to maintain anonymity. Justin said that his mother guessed it on her own, even before she found some of his drawings. There were no mentions of siblings’ or fathers’ reactions and feelings. Half of the respondents reported that they have at least one offline friend they’ve opened up to about their fetishism, and some of them even try to out-weird each other. They report that their friends are open-minded and not outwardly judgemental; their fetishism has not driven their friends away. When asked why they thought this is, the respondents argued that it’s a progressive generation and, “Why would you be friends with someone who outright rejects you and what you do?” Essentially, the respondents cultivate their friend circles, and don’t form friendships with people that aren’t very accepting. However, close friends are the fullest extent of their openness. Matt explained,

“I’m open about my fetishism and share it to an extent, but it still embarrasses me and I’m wary of the repercussions. It’s difficult to tell one’s boss that one draws porn on one’s free time not

knowing how the boss will take it. Plus, it’s different in person than when hiding behind an internet handle.”

The other half stated that they simply are not comfortable coming out about it. Jules explained his apprehension, stating his, “fear that people, who have known me for a long time, will look at me differently or in a negative way,” reflecting Rubin’s (1984) fallacy of misplaced scale. Even though they still ascribe to the accepted conventions of heterosexuality and focus on secondary sexual characteristics, their differences from the Western standard are exaggerated. It is not frowned upon for men to enjoy large breasts, but by virtue of their “excess,” these desires are now stigmatized. Online, however, is a much different story. It’s almost impossible to produce fetish content and/or be active in the community without being open about it. They take comfort in anonymity, as well as being surrounded by people who share their interests. Several of them keep to themselves and don’t really want to talk to people online. Ray states that he is pretty open, his profile has his name on it, which can be used to find him on Facebook. He says that, overall, he’s fine talking about his fetishes with people he knows aren’t going to be intolerant of it. He also stated that he’s extremely open with his group of friends, as they all have taboo tastes.

Stigma

“It's really hard to see where it's coming from. In that situation, they told me that sexualizing a minor was illegal, yet those same people can be aroused by tentacle rape in hentai or morbid obesity, or in the case of that person, they wrote stories about women eating until they literally exploded. I guess...they think that they have better tastes than the others and think that it's fine to berate them for their tastes because they see themselves as above it.” -Ray

The direct stigma, as in actions taken against someone because of their “othered” status, reported by most of the participants towards their fetish appears to be rare. They could be downplaying it, are unfazed by it, or don’t experience it in a way theory expects. Goffman (1963) theorized that this could be the stigmatized individual acting like their burden isn’t much, proving that they aren’t different from anyone else. However, it appears more likely that they are not an actively targeted group. They likely do not receive direct stigma for the same reason there’s been no formal research or documentation of this fetish; it is obscure and easily overlooked. When asked why they felt they received so little trouble for it, the respondents felt it was because their fetishes are basically unknown. People don’t just happen upon this content by accident, and even if they do, it’s overlooked. Another likely reason for this is because their “spoiled identity” is not readily visible. Other stigmatized groups, like the obese or homosexuals, have outward tells revealing their stigmatized status. Even other types of fetishists can be discerned if caught acting “inappropriately” with their sexualized object. Fantasy fetishists have the luxury of having their sexualized scenarios be intangible, and so the chances of them being caught treating them as sexualized are more a matter of willpower than timing.

As such, most of the respondents stated that their sexuality is nothing they’d advertise offline. Some said that they’d have strong apprehension to opening up about it, as they’re pretty private offline. They’d need a very good reason to open up to anyone they weren’t in a relationship with. Family and friends were not exempt from this, for the respondents, with some of them citing fear of ostracization if their tastes were discovered. One stated that they live in a small town, and so they do their best to avoid an awkward conversation. This agrees with Goffman (1963), as he put forward that the stigmatized do their best to act normal, to have a “false bottom,” because they expect that outside acceptance is conditional based on their perceived normalcy. Fear of rejection from their friends and family forces them to treat this conditional acceptance as full acceptance, because it could be the best they ever get However, some have opened up to close friends and people who share the same interests, but they rarely have to out themselves because topic rarely comes up in conversation. Simon summed it up by saying, “How open is anyone about being aroused by things, in general?” The social repercussions of having “weird” desires far outweigh the benefits of being open about your sexuality, especially in Western society. However, according to their reports, there is a very small proportion of internet patrons that are willing to go out of their way to harass or criticize them or their fetishes. One notable instance involves Ray, from the quote earlier, who reported having been called scum, received death threats, and told to commit suicide over an illustration. Online, there is more stigma aimed at specifically at the content of their work, which can translate back as stigma against the fetishes themselves. Passive stigma, in that there is a miasma surrounding certain topics as opposed to action taken, was referenced by the respondents. Jules described the passive stigma placed upon labels (Becker, 1963), stating, “I do fantasize, and even create content so other people can fantasize, so that would indeed make me a fetishist. Though, I don’t use the term myself because it makes me sound like a complete pervert.”For the respondents, passive stigma mainly presented itself through fear. Jules’ fear is of people knowing his “spoiled identity,” which could lead to any number of negative outcomes. He cited what happened to Youtube celebrity, Pewdiepie, after a false article went viral about him having “weird sexual tastes.”11 He said, “Now imagine someone like me with an actual weird fetish. I’m pretty sure people will think twice if they want to work with someone like me.” In line with this, a majority of the respondents stated that they tried to keep who they are and their fetishes separate.All of these instances illuminate the effects of current sex politics on the respondents’ feelings about their fetishism, which also resonate with Goffman’s theory about how stigma affects those who are othered by the community.

Summary

Fantasy fetishism, that is a subgenre of fetishism with a focus on scenarios unaccessible in reality, plays a significant part in the lives of the respondents; less so for the three that do not have fetishes. The overall consensus regarding fetishism is that it is not as uncommon as medical texts or media would imply. Since the concept of fetishism is based on the ultimately

11 Sadly, it appears that instances of this article have been removed.

subjective idea that there are things that are not meant to be sexualized, they argue that everyone holds at least one fetishistic desire. Additionally, these desires are not intrinsically unhealthy; they are merely another avenue to experience pleasure through. These interviews have shown clear evidence that the clinical psychological approach is insufficient to adequately describe the lived experiences of sexual variations. Fantasy, naturally, is vital to the sexual expression of the respondents. There was a deeply personal sentiment surrounding each individual's’ fantasies, something that made them feel unique and inclined to share with others. Many of them were comfortable with these fantasies, due in part to the fact that every respondent established a healthy boundary between fantasy and action. Most did not allow fantasy to consume their lives, and all of them were disenchanted with the idea of bringing their fantasies to life. Comfort came from knowing that they’d never subject another person to these impossible fantasies. So, while fantasy was essential, there was an overall lack of dependence on it in their sexual behavior with others. Despite their comfort, many of the respondents were not open about their fetishism. Everyone felt it was necessary to disclose their fetishes with a trusted romantic partner, but were less sure about friends and family. Two of the respondents’ fetishes were discovered by their mothers, and roughly half of the respondents reported one offline friend they’d disclosed their fetishes to. The primary deterrent for being open about their sexual desires was stigma. Reports of stigma aimed specifically at them were low, as they can hide their stigmatized identities from people they don’t trust to be accepting. However, most of them shaped their decisions around fear of the potential actions that could be taken against them. They were acutely aware of the negative atmosphere that their culture had enforced around their fetishes, which could keep them from finding reputable work and possibly lead to their families ostracizing them.

Ch. 5: Work and Art

“There’s actually a Japanese artist by the name of Henmaru Machino. He draws a lot of the really, *really* weird stuff. His works are pretty prolific. I’m talking like multi-breast, really long nipples, cavities in the body, lots of tentacles. It’s really hard to pin down and describe, since it’s so varied. His stuff was up in a museum, and his works were being blasted for being pornographic. He poised the question, “How can it be pornographic if it cannot possibly exist?” So there’s this idea already, that this thing that’s impossible, this illustration alone, can be considered pornographic.”- Simon

Although it seems that fantasy fetishism is trapped within the imagination, the respondents have taken it upon themselves to bring these fantasies out. They cannot bring their fantasies to life, but they can, and do, give them a physical form. Not all of them are comfortable calling themselves artists, but they are all content creators. To better understand this distinction, if there is one, in this context, it is important to understand the motivations behind the production. Also, while it’s important to ask why people start the work they do, it’s equally important to ask why they continue to do so. The reasons they remain in this field of work, despite their awareness of potential consequences, can be drastically different than why they got into it; stopping may not be an option. It was difficult to categorize the goals of the respondents, for every person’s goals are as unique as their lives. However, why the respondents create what they do can be summed up into five general reasons. They are rarely exclusive, and every interviewee held at least two. The first, and most common reason, is money. It often wasn’t the reason to start producing content, but a welcome outcome. This money was reported to be their solitary or supplementary income, and there is a trend that they refuse to work for free, with some exceptions. One method of payment that’s quickly becoming popular for content producers is the site Patreon. This site is a sort of subscription service, where people can pay their favorite creators a certain amount a month. Most creators offer incentives for paying over a certain amounts, shout-outs in their next piece, access to polls, and more. It’s like crowdfunding, but the respondents who use it often referred to it as more of a tip jar. They report that the income from it is pretty reliable, so long as they can provide good enough bonuses to their Patrons. Interestingly, Em stated that he offers access to his entire work archive, but rather than people only paying the tier amount just once, downloading everything, and then unsubscribing, they stay on and continue paying. The platform allows for easier engagement with their fanbase to see what people want and have meaningful interactions. However, there are criticisms of content producers who use Patreon, as it’s basically setting up a soft paywall to view their work. Since a lot of content producers have moved to this platform, suddenly people who used to get all of this content for free must now pay a set amount to each of their favorite artists, which leads some to lash out. Granted, most of the content producers I spoke with often posted their

“Patreon exclusive” work on their DeviantArt or Tumblr profiles after a few weeks. The interactions and complaints of the fanbase are covered in the online community section. Some content producers are profitable enough to afford their own personal websites, where they post and sell their work. They often do this alongside their other profiles in order to maximize visibility and have freedom from specific rules from other hosting sites. For some, their personal site is separate from their NSFW12 content to have a more professional appearance. Rick stated,

“I've never seen it as a stable enterprise. I may be a little paranoid. There's always the chance that someone, somewhere will say (in broad, sweeping terms) "This is acceptable. That is not" and close my channels of distribution (or, at the very least, restrict what passes through them). Common sense dictates that I strengthen the online presence of my family friendly content.”

Ray and Vic sell their work through specific pay-sites, like e-junkie. They prefer this method because it removes a lot of the hassle of transactions, as it’s pretty much one-click purchases; no additional management or fear of non-payment. In conjunction with Patreon and personal sites, every respondent except Jules and Adrian takes commissions. Several others aren’t very enthusiastic on doing them because they preferred to work with their own ideas rather than cater to others’. Commissions also happened to be one of the entry points to fetish content creation for those interviewees who are not aroused by their work, as people would introduce them to the concepts through requests. Commissions are straight-forward transactions, where the buyer details what they want the artist to create, and then they pay for it. These negotiations usually take place through the artist’s profile, so Tumblr, DeviantArt, FurAffinity, etc. Commissions are often stressful for the artists, and so they usually have a schedule, limit the amount they take, or only take commissions when need to make some quick money. The respondents who took requests had lines of what they wouldn’t do, and naturally, these lines varied greatly between artists. The most common refusals, in order of frequency, were watersports/scat, underage, excessive violence (including rape)/death, bestiality, and licensed characters. Other, less common, hard limits include futanari, furries, infantilism, excessive sex, vore, and inanimate transformations.13 A few artists specified that their limits were negotiable, for the right price, but most stated that they would never draw these things. Reasons for this ranged from being morally opposed to the content, finding it weird/unappealing, or just disinterest in illustrating the concept. It is not surprising that the concepts that are illegal or associated with bodily waste were universally rejected; there is a strong stigma associated with these. Several of the respondents specified that they didn’t want to include these concepts was because they didn’t want to be associated with it. In a community that’s looking to have their tastes represented, finding an artist willing to draw something considered taboo, even within the fetish community, is a rarity. As such, if an content creator does it once, it can be construed as willingness to do it again. So, this restraint comes with a double meaning, both in their opposition to the specific concepts and their

12 Not Safe For Work 13 Other specific refusals include conjoined twins, drugs, explicit sex, nudity, males, disrespecting characters, and birthing

unwillingness to associate with those who desire it, showing that even they subscribe to the social hierarchy of sex acts. The second reason for doing this work is because content production is a means of expressing their fantasies. Because of the inaccessibility of their fantasies, more than half of the respondents reported their work as therapeutic. And due to the uniqueness of their fantasies, It also serves as a means of making exactly what they want to see and can’t find elsewhere. They are putting their fantasies on paper, and thus are able to share them. Ray stated about his work, “I love it completely. I’d probably be insanely repressed if I didn’t draw fetish art and I don’t even know what that would be like.” Jeff explained his reason as,

“I like to think that out there, somewhere is another younger me, and they found my art and it's having an impact and impression on them (hopefully for the better). And if I can bring joy and happiness to even just the subscribers at Patreon or the 4000 some-odd people who watch me, thats huge. I like to make other people happy and this is one way of making other people's lives a little more fun or enjoyable.”

In creating and sharing this content, they create the possibilities to inspire others and give them an avenue to explore their sexuality as well. Leon stated,

“I find sometimes that readers tell me that they became interested in a specific fetish they either didn't know about, or had ignored before after seeing it in the comic. So I think creators can do a lot to introduce people to new ideas... maybe to ease them into a fetish they're hesitant about.”

This goes both ways, and with the third reason, as some of the respondents liked being able to explore the limits of their fantasies and artistic expression. The work can fuel both their sexual and artistic desires, but also create conflict with both. As most of the creators report being aroused by this content, they use the community for a dual purpose. Through consumption of erotica and content over the years, they can pick up techniques for their artistic style, which can help. But this can also add more heat to the longing, both to be better artists, and to satisfy their sexual appetites. They recognize that this work can be artistic, and not just as masturbation material. Simon views his work from a more artistic standpoint, saying,

“We explore all of these facets of humanity to these very deep degrees, you know books about love, fear, horror, happiness. But for some reason, we just leave out this one part of us that is very important to humanity or just life in general. It’s kind of the sole driving force for life, this sexuality, and why should that be ignored.”

More frequently, though, the creators see doing this work, as well as taking commissions, as a means of self-improvement. For the majority of respondents, content creation is not their primary means of income, but they still use art skills in their offline occupations. Regardless, improving their artistic abilities benefits them in all aspects of both endeavors.

This runs into the fourth reason, which is creating content for everyone to enjoy. Several respondents stated that they post their work online for the community, and to share their vision and fantasies manifest in these works. They are creating for an overlooked population. Leon stated, “I feel like fulfilling certain fetish niches for fans has rewarded me more than the actual writing or art quality.” The respondents reported instances where members of the community would contact them directly and thank them for their work. This content, and its accessibility are steps towards achieving some form of sexual citizenship. They’re carving their place into the sexual world, maintaining their community, and showing that fantasy fetishism is just another way to experience pleasure. Simon expressed,

“Generally, I feel positive about my work, because it gives people an outlet. They can come online and consume it healthily. I think that’s the key part here. They can do it in the privacy of their own home and not be judged. They’re not exactly infringing on anybody’s rights or privacy.”

The last reason was the intention of changing the sexual culture surrounding fetishism and porn in general. They include themes and values in the content they produce to promote their ideologies. Chris states that they strive to promote sex positivity and intersectional feminism in their work. For example, Chris does not use the conventional fetish tags genderswap or genderbender, as they do not recognize the difference between sex and gender. 14 Instead, they use the terms “sex change” or “sex/gender tf (transformation).” Additionally, they dislike the term “futanari”, opting for “altersex” as a means of reducing the association of hermaphrodites as just women with penises. On top of this, Chris makes the effort of including interracial couples and respect for other cultures into their works, as well as not culturally appropriating anything for the gimmick as a fetish catalyst. Additionally, both Chris and Dotty actively work towards challenging common fantasy fetish tropes, like dubious consent and flat, uninteresting characters. In their experience, half of the content they see involves dubious consent, wherein the character is subjected to the fantasy scenario outside of their control. Whether the character consents to it after the transformation, or to further instances is irrelevant. These respondents argue that as a fictional character, they do not have agency, and so foregoing or just asserting their consent to the transformations for the sake of pleasure perpetuates an unhealthy view of women’s roles in sexality. As such, it falls on the creator to establish healthier views of women’s agency in these representations. Overall, their goal is to improve the medium as a whole, making it more accessible outside of the white, male audience. Of course, their work, like any job, carries negative aspects. Most prominently is that art, whether done for career or hobby, is difficult and time consuming. Matt stated that,

“Art is suffering. It's a big damn test of everything one's learned about art up to this point, cherry picked to what's applicable to the end goal, plus what one's looking to say through their work. But while drawing sucks and is a frustrating car crash, drawings are fun. That's what's worth it in the end, but because it's so dependant on the flow state, it's not exactly consistent output.”

14 Appendix D

In an industry that demands new material, there is a mounting pressure on content producers to be not only prolific, but also engaging. Sure, there’s novelty in fresh material, but consumers will be criticizing and shaping their spending decisions around quality. In line with this, their work often has them drawing things they aren’t comfortable with, often because they need the money. There is a balance at play, and the content in their will-not-do list inevitably drives away a portion of the market. They cannot make everyone happy, and so they feel the pressure of picking what work they’re willing to repeatedly make. As mentioned before, if they take commissions with a certain concept in them, they’ll begin to be associated with that. Trevor recalled his most notable commissions he was uncomfortable making.

“Someone asked me to draw a short comic where a girl eats garbage from the street and all the comic was about that, or someone who asked me to draw a girl naked with diapers.”

Additionally, making their passions their job can be dangerous to both. While none of them reported experiencing any issues coming arising from capitalizing on their fantasies, some referenced a type of fatigue that came about from drawing similar things repeatedly, leading to a type of burn-out for that idea.

Lastly, if a content producer does become popular, they’ll have a fan base. While this doesn’t sound bad, it can have negative consequences in that it can bring unwanted attention. While everyone reported that a majority of their followers are likely well-adjusted members of society, they do experience the excessive affections of a specific few. This minority is often entitled and demanding, are “over-the-top and socially insufferable” and also show little understanding of personal boundaries. Simon cited a time he was “approached” on his Reddit profile with a message reciting his name and where he worked, This apparently wasn’t the only time this had happened. Fans sometimes find the need to dig deep, find the signatures on pieces, trace it to the content producer’s name, and find out where they worked, where they lived, etc. Luckily, he states that they left it at that, but that situation carried the risk of escalating to a much more dangerous or creepy place. The fear of this kind of situation and being discovered are the primary motivations why the majority of the respondents place value in anonymity.

Offline Lives

“Who we are and what we do are completely different things.” -Jay

Everyone made the clear distinction between their online work and offline relationships, and the primary reason is fear of stigma. The nature of their work, in conjunction with Western society’s perceptions of sexual variation, creates the potential for conflict. For instance, they certainly know they can’t use this work to expand their professional portfolios, for fear that any potential employer would blacklist them from working in the industry. They could show their

friends, but this still runs the risk of their friends finding the work “weird” or “fucked up.” Simon reflected on a first-hand experience of this, saying,

“I showed [some friends at a party] my work, and one person got very upset. I wouldn’t say hostile, but very withdrawn, almost as if they were disgusted kind of, like ,”How could you possibly draw this sort of thing?” You know, “I knew you drew this, but I didn’t know it was this bad” sort of reaction. That was pretty much as bad as it got, because then I said, “Well, then why did you want to see it then. I mean, I told you it was bad.” People react negatively, I feel, because of their own sexuality. Once again, what might be okay for me might be very not okay for some other people.”

However, in spite of moments like these, feelings about their work are mostly positive. Some reported having reservations about it in the beginning, either fearing the response they’d get for posting online, in comparison to better work, or being found out. Most of the negative feelings regarding their work the interviewees reported involved interactions with the online community, as well as occasionally producing content that wasn’t their passion but it paid. At least commissions allow for improvement of processes and conveyance. Simon reported that he found more fulfillment in his SFW15 art than the fetish content, but still enjoys continuing to produce the fetish content for his Patrons and to explore his fantasies. Independent of the role of income, every respondent who is aroused by their content stated that making content is an outlet for them. The ones who aren’t stated that they have some fun doing this, otherwise they wouldn’t do it. The common trend is that it’s all art, done by artists, and they all convey their passion for creation and expression, as well as giving their consumers a healthy outlet as well. Jules said,

“Even though I haven't drawn much [lately], I still find it something fun to do every now and then. It's a great feeling to work a night on a drawing, and see it finished before you, just like any other drawing. It's also always a nice feeling to upload it and see people faving it, or even better, commenting on it. Like any artist, it's always nice to get some recognition for the things you create, and apart from trying to stash away and hide the hundreds of physical drawings I've made over the years, I don't regret making them.”

Another remarked upon their freedom of creation, and negative attitude towards sex held by Western society, saying,

“Why should eroticism be sidelined as the no-fly-zone, when we have, in American culture, when we explore horror and gore to the degrees that we do. When you look at all the Final Destination movies, when you look at Saw, that’s just just gore porn. You just see these people get dismembered. When you look at Stephen King’s work, it’s very tantalizing. We explore all of these facets of humanity to these very deep degrees, you know books about love, fear, horror, happiness. But for some reason, we just leave out this one part of us that is very important to

15 Safe For Work

humanity or just life in general. It’s kind of the sole driving force for life, this sexuality, and why should that be ignored?”

For six of the respondents, content production is their full-time job and occupies their time as such. Full-time meaning, since it is art, the average reported work day is between eight and thirteen hours. Ten of them reported having a job, and use content production either as supplementary income or just a hobby with a market that pays. Jeff has a very interesting position in relation to his online work. He and his wife’s offline occupations pay very well. As such, he uses the income from content production to pay other artists from around the world to assist in making reliable, quality content for the community. He and his best friend write the scripts and manage the business, but the art is done by others. He explains,

“I'm a very organized person and I hate it when the artists I like complain about not having money or being able to produce in a consistent manner. So if I figured if I was able to provide ground work and funds I could become a reliable provider of fetish material. I had no idea if it would work, but over the course of 3 months we did get up to $230 a month in subscribers, then I shut it down as it got too hard to find artists that could produce for me, they just couldn't keep up or be reliable. so I shut it down for 9 months. Enough people asked about it that I decided to try again but this time was able to find a reliable comic artist in the Philippines, so we started almost from scratch again and now we have over 105 subscribers and generate $500 a month. We have our main comic artist, and currently two pin up artists in the middle east and russia who do pick up work.”

The balance between their offline lives and online content work can strenuous, and some respondents have admitted that their online work has fallen to the wayside in the face of offline priorities. Their offline responsibilities, including starting new jobs, have hindered their ability to produce content regularly or take commissions. Both groups state that content production is only part of their work, as they also have to maintain their sites, interact with their followers, and keep their business in order. This is technically self-employment, so they keep records and balance their own interests with completing commissions. The last two don’t make money from their content. One of them doesn’t accept commissions or sell his work because he isn’t comfortable with the possibility of his work being traced back to him. By accepting payment, he’d have to divulge some personal information to receive it, and he feels that the money isn’t worth it. Chris had a similar fear, but reported that they use a business account on Paypal so their information remains private. The other creator illustrates fetish work for fun and believes that it isn’t something to make money on. However, he does also have an agreement in place with his roommate to pay his portion of rent with art, so it’s more non-profit. The respondents’ openness offline about their work did not line up with their openness about their fetishism, in that more admitted to opening up about their work outside of romantic relationships. However, there was a fairly even split between people who were and were not comfortable openly talking about their work, be it with friends, family, or interested people at

social gatherings. One reason given for being comfortable was that it’s easy to separate themselves from their work. They always have the option to be vague; “I’m an artist/writer.” One tells his family that he works on video game art, since it’s fairly believable. If they come out and explain that they draw fetish porn, they can just say they do it for money or because it’s interesting to draw; they don’t have to admit their fetishes as motivation. They have the ability to mask themselves around others and say, “Yeah, this *is* weird, but it pays.” They can also separate themselves from the “really weird” stuff, making their work seem acceptable by comparison. Simon summed this up perfectly, saying,

“I don’t tell you exactly what I do, because there’s no point in that. So, you know, I make comics. I make illustrations. And the comics conversation goes a bit farther, I’ll drop that I do draw smut. And if that goes even further, I might give them information. Depends on if it’s a morbid curiosity, a kind a curiosity that I’m not too keen on sharing more information, or genuine curiosity, which I love to talk about this sort of stuff.”

Others, notably those with SFW content, operate under the assumption that it’s somewhat pointless to try to hide their fetish work. One reported, “I've had a couple [of friends] approach me, with some hesitation, mention some art they saw online that looked like my style of linework. Every artist has a tell in their linework. If they stumbled upon my fetish work it's always been due to an interest of their own leading them to it somehow and they are embarrassed to admit the find. I can understand that. Not everyone want's to be out about an interest.” That doesn’t mean they don’t take steps to keep people from accidentally stumbling upon it, like posting the different works on different sites, because they fear potential/current employers might not approve of it. There’s always the risk of their NSFW work being discovered and linked back to them, which they fear will lead to ostracization and stigma. As such, most of the artists are voluntarily open about their work with a select few friends, or people they’ve determined would be cool with it. Others are open because they were discovered. There are several reports of mother’s asking about it or stating that they already knew. Interestingly, Matt stated that he’d shown his work in a 2D design class forgetting it was fetish work. “I got surprisingly warm reviews. Though I felt a burning humiliation of sorts when it was interpreted as a joke, but that's the beauty of art.” Vic did something similar, where he showed his work to coworkers because he felt he wasn’t getting enough feedback on the quality of his art online. While he felt some embarrassment in showing it, and gave lots of exposition about what they were about to see and not to focus on that, he reports that they were able to look past the fetish content and give him critique on the art quality. He states that this boosted his confidence. Trevor reports that he’s very open about his work; his friends and family know all about it. He says it’s because “it’s the 21st century...We are all more open minded about sexual content, and there’s no need to talk too much about it as a taboo like in the past. I like what I do, and I think it’s ok to admit what I do. People around me accept it, too, and they feel curious about my job.” As with their fetishes, those in relationships were open about their work as well.Two of them even shared their work with their partners, looking for feedback and inspiration. One’s wife

drew porn as well, but with a different focus. Everyone stated that it’s vital to be open about their work with partners, so long as they’d established enough trust.

Stigma

“Plenty of people in the community fight against one another, but the outsiders are always the ones who act like we're aliens or ‘Just don't understand how you could find any of this disgusting shit attractive’, or the ones who think we're squandering our talent on something because they don't like it, or when I was younger and I drew a lot of enormous breasts, a lot of young girls would try to tell me I'm sexist because of how I depict women.” -Ray

As with their fetishes, the stigma that the content producers reported facing for their work is surprisingly low. They all stated that the overall experience has been positive, and have no lingering issues about the somewhat rare confrontations they do face. The most common conflict that arises from their work is based on the idea that they’re objectifying/oversexualizing women, that the content of their work is disrespectful and misogynist. Reminiscent of Dworkin (1989), the overall theme surrounding this criticism is that this work is an affront to women’s bodies. By conveying women in these exaggerated forms and in these objectifying scenarios, the content creators are advancing the patriarchy’s power over what women are worth and what they should be. Another stigma they face is aimed at the art itself. As mentioned in the previous quote, some of the interviewees are confronted about “wasting their potential” or, conversely, that they are bad artists. There are some who believe art isn’t a viable, productive career, and so they attack artists for not conforming to the capitalist ideal. Matt detailed his experience, saying, “I've been criticized and attacked for content, for stylistic choices and abstractions, for appropriation, for objectification, for not getting a real job and being a social parasite, list goes on.” It is unknown the proportion of this stigma is because of their choice of work, for them for making pornographic material, or because the material is fetishistic. All of the interviewees report a “live and let live” mindset in regards to this kind of stigma. As mentioned before, they report that they’d never wish to subject another human being to their fantasies. As such, they do not see the harm in expressing their desires with fictional characters. To them, porn is not a blueprint for sexual violence, because they are cognisant of the separation of fantasy and reality. They also don’t take the criticisms personally because they acknowledge that it takes a certain personality to take the time to criticize someone’s fetish work on the internet, or that some people will never really understand the appeal of their work. There is little reason to get upset over the arguments of someone on the internet. However, this isn’t a stopping point for some, who actively engage critics in conversation to work out the differences. The largest factor related to stigma is the fear of it. Almost every respondent cited their concerns about the potential stigma they could face, while roughly half of that expressed problems with experienced stigma. It makes sense, given that getting into an argument with a stranger on the internet carries less risk than being denied by potential employers due to them not agreeing with the content of their work. They all work under the constant risk of being

discovered by potential employers, family, and friends. While there will always be stigma directed at the content itself, because it’s inappropriate, fetishistic, and not real work., discovery places the creator in the crosshairs. Given the reports, though, the respondents do not know what the full consequences of discovery are. They fear the worst, which is ostracization and being blacklisted from job opportunities. The work they do currently isn’t really “professional portfolio” material, so they have to put additional effort into cultivating a set of work that can be used for finding more reputable work.

Summary

The overall view of the respondents’ work was summed up by Adrian; “It makes me happy and makes others happy. I’m developing a skill and being productive.” For a majority of them, this work was fulfilling. They found a way to translate their fantasies and desires into a medium that they can share with others and even profit off of. Some have even made this work their full-time jobs, but the majority use if for supplemental income. They didn’t express any regret or disdain for content production, because if it was a major source of distress, they’d just do something else. This was likely because they have a high level of control over how much influence this has in their lives. Some respondents stated that their offline priorities had taken precedence over content creation, and so they simply did it less. Those who felt the pressure of commissions and meeting demand was too much took a hiatus. Because this work is technically a form of self-employment, and art is a passion for them, they don’t report having the usual problems with work that others might. On top of that, this work gives them practice to improve their artistic skills, which they can then apply to outside, socially-accepted work. That isn’t to say this work is perfect, as it does have negatives. They are sometimes criticized for not having “real jobs,” and that the work they do is misogynistic. It also opens the door for stigma, like labeling, ostracization, and being denied employment. On top of all that, art is a difficult, arduous job. However, all of these negatives were heavily outweighed by the positive aspects for a majority of respondents.

Ch. 6: Online Community

“I know a few people who are involved in the communities they are involved in as much for the fetish aspect as the community support. The people I know that are into fetish related real world stuff is through role playing costume interests and/or bondage communities. While neither interest me, I don't judge and am always open to learn more about what drives a person to the varied interests. And they tend to be a lot like the online communities. Few people know about the kinks outside the very small circle around them. I'd relate the online and offline communities as the same in the manner of community. The online verse though is more easily accessed as an anonymous entity and far easier to find than offline groups.” -Desmond

The online community is the keystone piece in this research The role this community plays in the lives of the respondents cannot be discounted. It is the only reason I was able to find these content creators, their fetishes, and their work in the first place. It has given them the opportunity to pursue their artistic endeavors, find comfort in their sexuality, and interact with others with shared tastes (Durkin, 2004). There were common factors that drove the respondents to the online community. All but two of them reported themselves as living in Western-culture enriched countries, and those two reside in countries with increasing Western influence, which means they are subjected to the social value structures of this. Sexuality is not viewed in a positive light, especially in the US, where just over half of the respondents are located. Sexual expression is heavily regulated in the public sector, and much of this is based in normativity. Psychoanalysts and doctors popularized the idea that there is a correct, natural way to engage is sexual activity, and any deviance from this was a sign of illness (Downing, 2015). This translated into deeply ingrained cultural beliefs that sexual variance is unnatural, and therefore unhealthy. In Western society, fetishism is viewed as a mental disorder, and depictions of holders of these aberrant tastes in media have not been kind. Fetishists are viewed as weird, perverted, and often possessing multiple psychological disorders16. Desmond directly stated that there’s a strong correlation between fantasy fetishist, the online community, and depression, and in his opinion, it is no coincidence. Although the psychiatric community has stopped referring to fetishism as a mental disorder, it is still medicalized as a potential sexual disorder. There are few instances in public discourse depicting fetishists as happy with their sexual tastes; it is always a dark, character-destroying secret. This becomes even more difficult for fantasy fetishists, because they have more physical hindrances in the offline world than others. Sexual minorities do face struggles offline, in that coming out about their status places them in the crosshairs, sometimes literally. Ray explained it as,

“A lot of people deny that they like anything that might be out of the ordinary and I personally believe it to be because of society. Saying one wrong thing can completely destroy a person's

16 See also: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TropesAboutPerverts

social life, and liking something that might be considered weird or taboo can cause people to completely shut you out or in some cases assault you”

Members are reticent to gather, to make themselves known, as the possibilities for becoming the target of social stigma is a strong deterrent. Also, several of the members cited that they live in rural areas, making meeting a group even more difficult. Additionally, fantasy fetishists also cannot have their erotic target in the physical world. They are stuck with whatever they can use to make representations of it, but can never actually have it. Their fantasies are all they really have, and there’s not much capacity to share this offline. While these factors push them away from offline expression, respondents also presented evidence for what attracts them to the online world. To start, the internet is a much more cost-effective method of obtaining and distributing fetish material. All of the respondents put at least some of their content out for free. Most of the websites to access and post fetish content are free to join. As such, there is always something available to those who cannot afford or refuse to buy commissions, specific works, or become Patrons. Alongside their use of financial sites, there was some common ground for sites the online fantasy fetish community frequents. All of the artists had profiles on DeviantArt, Tumblr, FurAffinity, or a combination between them. The profiles on each site are not exclusively for posting content, but also for following other artists they like, take commissions, and be a part of the online community. There are pros and cons of each hosting site, notably between Tumblr and DeviantArt. DeviantArt has a much more intuitive gallery system for posting and archiving work, while Tumblr involves an updating feed, so looking through someone’s posts can be tedious. However, DeviantArt has rules regarding explicitly sexual content, and so the interviewees prefer Tumblr for not forcing them to censor or restrict the posts of their works. There wasn’t much discussion of FurAffinity, although that’s probably because much of the community there is also into furry content, which a number of the respondents opposed. Other sites include Hentai Foundry, which allows pornographic material but each piece must go through an approval process, Pixiv, Reddit, and a streaming site called Picarto. Picarto is starting to become popular among artists and content producers, because it’s like Twitch for art. The site is for artists to live broadcast themselves working, allowing them to engage their community regularly and take requests/donations. The interviewees who worked with it liked its capacity for interaction on a level previously unavailable. More than half also frequented online forums, including 4chan (and similar chan sites), Process Forum, and Chounyuu. They all preferred to lurk17 on these forums, looking to see what people were sharing, their views on content producers, or find inspiration for future content. Simon and Dotty reported regularly interacting within these specific communities, either to contribute or to clear up misunderstandings held by consumers. These misunderstandings will be covered later. Additionally, the barriers to entry to become a content producer are minimal. All one needs is time, a means of creating content, and then an internet connection to share it; skill only really becomes relevant when profitability comes in. Even then, Em stated that he actively tries to help new artists with advice on how he does his work. He doesn’t view upcoming members to

17 To be present without contributing or engaging in conversation

the community as competition, and does his best to be supportive. Regardless, Leon explained that the community is not particularly picky about content quality, saying,

“I feel like fans of these fetishes care more about making sure the fetish is presented at all... everyone prefers good art and the writing helps to get readers attached to the characters. But at the end of the day for a lot of them it's just important to find something that shows off the fetish they're into, and even if it's got flaws they'll ignore them”

All of this illustrates the accessibility of this community. While the initial search may not yield all that prospective fetish purveyors hope to find, the widespread, free availability of content means that there are a lot of avenues to discover a rich vein of something that appeals to them. There is such a great level of diversity in the fantasy fetish community18 that it’s almost impossible to not find something enjoyable. Jay explained it as,

“It's like a store that has my interest on its shelves. And there'll always be new items coming up to make me a regular customer. Another thing is the experimental side. With anonymity, you can express yourself differently, you can try new things, meet people and interact with them differently without reprisal. And through that, you learn something about yourself.”

Of course, this diversity also leads to in-house stigmatization. There is a surprising amount of reported in-fighting between within the fantasy fetish community. Most of the disputes come down to personal preference, like critiquing a creator for taking concepts too far or including fetishes the critic doesn’t like. For example, with expansion/hyper work, there is a frequent question spotted in forums, “How big is too big?” This question is highly subjective, but these differences can be taken poorly, depending on the individuals involved. This sort of thinking also comes into play due to the high comorbidity rate observed in fantasy fetish material, especially in regards to the ones that sometimes showed up on the “will not do” commission lists. The respondents noted the schism that exists in cases involving bursting, vore, or implied death, and how those who create or give praise to content containing these things are often challenged by others in the community for having “sick” tastes. This criticism also arose at respondents who liked to explore body horror, where their work is often described as Lovecraftian. Notably, this was sometimes observed in the respondents, with cases of the stigmatized throwing stigma at others for their tastes, illustrating the type of politics that occur in sexual minority groups (Rubin, 2002). Jay, at one point, defended his tastes by stating,

“But that’s not to say I don’t see fetishism as being bad or questionable; I know very well these are taboo. I frown upon desires that would incite harm or entice hate and pain, such as rape or child molestation, or disgust that completely surpass the sexual arousal platform. That is where I draw the line.”

18 Appendix D

Most of the cases of this were shown through comparison of their own sexual preferences, like, “At least I didn’t draw bestiality or rape today,” or stating that they found certain types of fetishes to be gross or weird. Interestingly, this thinking is partially responsible for helping those respondents aroused by fantasy fetishism become more comfortable with it. Ray commented on this phenomena, saying,

“It can be very toxic, but that can happen anywhere on the internet in any community, it just hurts more when it's someone in your own group doing things like that.”

In light of these differences, anonymity is a wondrous tool that gives freedom and opportunities to stigmatized groups to express themselves. The respondents all take comfort in the anonymity granted by the internet. Some of them don’t necessarily feel that they need it, but for the majority of them, the freedom from being personally associated with the work they were making and consuming was one of the primary factors for them starting and continuing to engage in this behavior. This circumvention around the revealing of their “tarnished” identities is one of the reasons online sexual minority communities flourish in a way that was previously impossible before the internet (Durkin, 2006). In fact, the most commonly cited reason the respondents like the online community is because it successfully imparts the feelings of belonging to the community, usually with the support of their fans and other creators. Without people liking, sharing, and paying for their work, most of them would not be able to sustain themselves or this activity. Also, without this positive feedback, many of them would be disinclined from holding the positions they do online. The community reaffirms them of why they do what they do.This presents evidence that Rosenmann’s theory (2006) misses one factor, which is perhaps the largest found in the studied group, and that is acceptance. It could be argued that this merely a result of the community, but acceptance can be just as strong of an attractive force as the others. Another aspect of the online community that draws similarities with others is that the community takes care of its own. This is done through feedback on work, helping out others in need, and defending others from negative behavior. The respondents reported that most of the feedback they receive from the active community is positive. Humorously, some of the respondents remarked that they hope for more constructive feedback on their work, as constant affirmation doesn’t help them improve as artists. It was likened to an echo chamber numerous times. When asked why they thought the feedback is mostly positive, they gave three reasons. Firstly, they felt it was because these fetishes just aren’t well known enough to garner attention from outside bodies, and so it’s statistically unlikely that it’ll be found by someone inclined to leave negative feedback. Secondly, they reasoned that those who do know about this work also know whether they want to look at it. Simon argued that, “It’s not like I’m a headliner for a band, like you’ve got to look at my stuff if you want to see this other guy’s stuff. You go see Guns n’ Roses because you want to see Guns n’ Roses, that’s just how it is.” Thirdly, The active community is quite small compared to the total community. The average estimate was that roughly twenty percent of the community actively engaged in forums and comments sections, and that ten percent of that commented on technical aspects of the art style. In other words,

they felt it was mostly positive because two percent of the community gave constructive feedback, and the other eighteen percent merely applauded them for their work. The community supports the content creators in many ways besides encouragement and income. For instance, at one point, Jules decided to take a break from fetish content. Life had become complicated, and he didn’t have the time or energy to maintain his online profile. He simply made a journal entry informing them that he couldn’t be as active as he wanted, so he’s taking a break. Despite backing out, he didn’t feel any anxiety or receive any backlash about it. Apparently, the community supported his decision, understood, and were happy when he returned. He argued that this is because there's plenty of other creators that produce similar content, so consumers still get their fill, and that a fair amount of the active community understands how much strain this work can be. In line with this, Vic reported that the community also takes steps to protect content creators’ work. When they spot a pirated piece, some of them will report it and/or contact the creator to let them know. Granted, some of them are a bit more zealous in their efforts than Vic was comfortable with, but he appreciated the efforts regardless. Additionally, as with any community, members also challenge people who try to troll others. There were no direct reports of this from respondents, but I witnessed several instances in the comment threads when searching for example material. This sense of community also is one of the main reasons content creators feel comfortable with their sexuality, as well as opening up online. It allows them to circumvent the usual obstructions that Western society has placed for sexual minorities. Many respondents felt that they found their own people, and that this is a place they feel accepted. Offline, this wouldn’t be nearly as possible for several reasons. Without the internet, there is little to no access to content depicting their fetishes sexually, nor would they be able to interact with others who make it. Even if they were to open up offline, they would paint themselves as targets for stigma. Online, with the comforting mask of anonymity, they get to meet people with similar interests and ideas, know that they aren’t alone, and occasionally make friends. Before finding it, many of them felt unsure and ashamed of their fantasies because society lacks a concept of benign sexual variation (Rubin, 2002). The community allows them to immerse themselves in fantasy and find things they never knew they wanted. They can experiment with their work, foregoing the commonly held idea of sexual essentialism, with the bonus of knowing there’s at least one person out there who can enjoy it. They receive feedback from their consumers, which helps them improve their art and become more accepting of what they draw. The online community isn’t nearly as shrouded with sexual negativity as their offline existence, and so they continue to spend a sizeable portion of their lives online. They have created a public space for themselves, and this makes them feel empowered (Hekma, 2004).

Negatives of the Online Community

Despite all of this support, one reported downside of the online community is the effects of stigma on the community. While anonymity online grants opportunities to interact and share, a reportedly large percentage of the community are reluctant engage themselves more than lurking. One reason for this is because they do not want their online profiles to be associated

with taboo content, making their tastes “public” to anyone who looks through the profile. Chris moderates a forum dedicated to fantasy fiction written works submitted by the community, and they remarked upon the difficulties in getting the community to participate. However, anonymity can also be wielded by others to attack and demean others with little-to-no offline consequences. Jay summed it up as,

“You'll have those who really express their hate and their anger whilst hiding behind anonymity. You'll have the degrading side of the community where morals and values mean nothing at all. You know I'm not saying making boobs the size of houses is an ethical or valued thing, but compared to other things, there are far worst that can be done which the online community remarkably does and displays.”

Another reason is that not everyone wants to produce content, and so they just consume it. This is part of larger negative aspect, which is that the online fantasy fetish community was reported to be one of the most entitled communities the respondents had encountered. References to consumer entitlement came up in every interview. The most common evidence of this is the belief that either content creators shouldn’t charge money for it, or conversely, that consumers shouldn’t have to pay. Dotty explained,

“People demand a lot of artists who do what I do, and often don't compensate them enough, or at all. For example, I've seen people just starting up, not the best art, but still nothing abysmal, offer commissions for 5$ a pop, these commissions take at least an hour, but hey "Be glad anybody is paying for your art at all", that sort of mentality sickens me. Work is still work, and illustration is an industry that charges 20$ an hour minimum, somehow, we as NSFW artist became exempt from this.”

The problem that extends from that logic is piracy. Some artists put their art behind paywalls, like Patreon, because they have bills to pay. Pirates, regardless of intent, undermine this by paying for the work once and sharing it for countless others to download for free and possibly repeat the cycle of sharing. For the free content, some people repost the it without citing the source or removing the watermark, which only hurts the creator. Some respondents stated that they have or presently take steps to stop piracy of their work, and a few others see it as an inevitability. The ones who fight piracy often face backlash from those who refuse to pay or cannot afford to buy all of the content they want to see. Of course, every community has its fair share of members who give the whole thing a bad name. These “bad eggs” vary greatly, but a majority of the respondents acknowledged them in some way. Some were described as members who hold very negative attitudes towards women, try forcing their fetish into everything, or have feel the need to make fetish art of any female character from any property. Simon also described people

“who are not content creators, but persist to be in an always "Roleplay' mood. They refuse to be who they are online and while I don't think that's a problem. You also have the beggars and the people who hate you for simply not drawing their fetish. As for content creators, using people as

stepping stone to become popular. How they draw boobs is the only correct way. Abuse their fans because trolling is funny. Treating non-content creators like garbage. Taking refusal to cater to their tastes as a personal attack.”

The common themes are entitlement (which is acted on) and people who don’t understand or respect the boundaries of others. There was a notable situation where someone online told Simon that they knew his real name, where he lived, and his place of employment. They didn’t do anything after that, but it shows that some members of the community are willing to go to great lengths to break the barrier of anonymity. I believe I should mention that during the contacting phase of this research, several of the candidates took steps to confirm whether this was legitimate research. They cited instances of people approaching them under false pretenses to either get free content or to blackmail the individual, and so now they take steps to protect themselves. Several of the respondents reported that they do not look for partners in the online community anymore because of the people who try to “catfish” them, which is when someone deceptively poses as someone else for the purpose of manipulating them or getting free stuff. Most of the respondents said they’d like a partner who shared their fetishes, but these risks make it difficult to find someone genuine within the community. Another one of the other major negatives of the online community is the potential of backlash over political and philosophical disagreements, usually from outside of the fetish community. Em recalled a situation where an artist posted a piece in which “a bimbo, a typical oversexualized bimbo, finds a book on the ground. She picks it up and slowly starts turning into a smart student. It was a commission called “Debimboification;” basically a bimbo turning into a smart person, and it appeared on social media.” Apparently, it received a very negative backlash, and the artist really suffered from it. However it quickly died down once people realized there was no social commentary behind it, and that it was a fetish piece. Luckily, the respondents report that this kind of harassment is rare. More often, they receive comments from people who think this work is a kind of joke, or arguments that the works are disrespectful to women. Seeing the work as a joke delegitimizes the fetish as an actual desire. However, seeing the works as disrespectful and objectifying is slightly more complicated. It’s misguided to attack someone for their tastes, whether it be food, sex, or fashion, because this implies that people have a choice about what they like. Instead, I feel it’s more appropriate to challenge the cultural environment that emphasizes the value of sexual characteristics, potentially shaping someone to become aroused by hypersexuality (Rando, 1991). Respondents felt that there will always be people who will criticize and that, it to, was inevitable. Another said, “There are always people out there who will oppose you. But I also understand that I'm engaged in is taboo. And obviously taboo is something people find testy. I know that not everyone sympathizes with my interests and kinks.” This testiness often presents itself as people expressing disgust and/or just trying to insult what the respondents made. There were also reports of members of the community, including other artists, demeaning artists who refuse to improve their style.

Offline community

According to the respondents, and through my search for respondents, it seems that the online community is the only community many fantasy fetishists have. Unfortunately, I was unable to find any record of the history of this community before the advent of the internet, so it is unknown how old or populous the fantasy fetish community is. Most of the respondents report that they’ve been doing this work for roughly a decade or more, but it’s difficult to determine whether this is because of their average ages19 put their start in puberty or because the progression of accessibility of the internet coinciding with these times20. Independent of these reasons, the potential dangers of being out about these desires, combined with the pull factors (Rosenmann, 2006), have made the internet the most comfortable option for fetisist communities. Surprisingly, though, there is a growing movement pushing for the creation of offline communities. The respondents report that they have met very few other fetishists or fetish artists offline. Some state it’s because they’re not very sociable in the first place, or they are afraid of meeting some of the less-than-reputable members of their fanbase that were described earlier. Others feels it’s a regional issue; they live in small towns or far from cities where they’d even have the potential to meet others. Most of them, who were actually inclined to meet others, simply stated that there’s no real opportunities for fetishists to meet offline. There are no support groups (nearby) that they could find, or any advertised gatherings that they were aware of. They saw it as something that could never really be arranged, nor would be safe to (Goffman, 1963). Halfway through the research, while I was searching for respondents, I learned of an event called Sizecon. According to the website21, it was started in 2016 by the New York City Macro-Micro Meetup Group as a means for interacting with other size fetishists offline. This convention illuminates that there is a sizeable enough fantasy fetish group offline to afford holding this kind of event, and that they are able to attract enough content producers and guests to warrant doing it a second time. When informed of this event, Simon, Dotty, Justin, Em, and Rick stated that they’d be interested in attending that event, or one like it. Simon said he’d prefer to go as a vendor, because conventions are a great way to make money; meeting fans wasn’t his main prerogative of attending. Dotty said that he’d go as a guest so he could get a sense of his community and fanbase. He’s only ever known them as online profiles, so this would be an opportunity to really see what others are like and engage with them without the pressure of his established alias.

19 Appendix C 20 DeviantArt was founded in 2000, Tumblr in 2007, and FurAffinity in 2005 21 http://www.sizecon.com/about/

Summary

There were some common reasons the respondents felt compelled to involve themselves with the online community. Mostly, they all are immersed in cultures that do not generally condone sexual variation, as fetishism is seen as a psychological disorder and those with it are perverted and weird. In this unaccepting environment, being open about their sexuality brings the potential of active stigma against them. Furthermore, because of this, they are very unlikely to find others who share their tastes. In conjunction to this, the internet comes with very desirable perks for the respondents.It gives them access to both consume and share fetish content unavailable offline. The interviewees’ internet usage is a balance between browsing others’ content for pleasure or inspiration (or both), interacting with the community, and contributing their own content on hosting sites. The internet allows them to anonymously find and interact with other fantasy fetishists. As a result of becoming aware of the fact that they aren’t alone with these desires, and through the sense of belonging granted by this community, the respondents have become sexually empowered; they don’t feel as ashamed or unnatural as when they first discovered their sexual tastes. In addition, the community is an easily accessible space and a great source of support for blooming members. Thankfully, the internet allowing the online community to form had a tangible effect offline. Because members online can get to know each other and share their locations, there is a growing offline community. This is culminating with the second year of Sizecon, a convention dedicated solely to size-difference fantasy fetishists. However, the respondents reported that the internet isn’t a perfect haven, because anonymity is a double-edged blade. It gives them the freedom to express their sexual fantasies, but allows others to antagonize them with relatively no consequence. Stigma still permeates the online community, often by outsiders, but it was observed that even fetishists can stigmatize other sexual minorities. Beyond the infighting, the respondents citing that this community is rife with entitlement, which leads to pirating and friction between creators and consumers. The respondents were keen on separating the “bad eggs” from the general community, because not everyone is inclined to go so far as to invade privacy or lie to get free content. They view these dissenters as inevitable, and generally hold a “live and let live” philosophy about them. Much like their feelings on their work, their overall feelings regarding the online community are positive. I feel Simon adequately summed this up;

“Overall, if it was truly a terrible experience, I would just get off the internet. I would stop posting work, delete my accounts, and let everyone know I was done. But once again, I receive more positivity than negativity, and for the people who overreach, I hold them off the best I can. I’m very grateful for the fans that I do have, because it’s always a struggle to place yourself, your worth, and so when you have hundreds of people…well thousands of followers but 10% of that is active and another 10% of that really pay. But, for example, my Patreon is an over glorified tip jar. I promise next to nothing on the Patreon, and to have as much coming in as I do through that is very heartwarming. It’s very nice that people will support an artist for almost no guarantee

of a return for content that they can get for free. Just seeing that, and all the support messages, makes it a very positive experience.”

Ch. 7: Conclusion

The exploration of this overlooked, likely undocumented aspect of fetishism revealed a great deal into the nature of stigma, the effects of online communities on sexual minorities, and the influence of their work on their lives. Through a lens of symbolic interactionism, as well as in-depth, semi-structured interviews with eighteen fantasy fetish online content creators, I was able to investigate how stigma operates in their lives and how the online community helps them manage this. For the respondents, stigma operates as more of a constant reminder than an active player in their lives. The actual instances they faced harassment or delegitimization were rare, and even rarer offline. These instances include negative labelling, reflecting the ideals of dominant culture, such as being called sick, sexist, or weird, attacking them for not having a real, productive income, and delegitimization of their fetish. The respondents’ stigmatized identity traits are solely manifested by their work. As such, much of the stigma they face is directed at their work and their online alias and not at their offline, physical presence. However, the fear of discrimination and ostracization were more prevalent and persistent, precisely because these can severely affect their offline lives. This lines up with Goffman’s theory, because this fear shaped many of the decisions the respondents made. Their attempts to preserve their respectable image influenced their dependence on anonymity, their openness about their work and fetishism, and how they managed their work. Stigma pushes the respondents into the online community, which in turn attracts them with the freedom to express themselves and the support of others who share their interests. Those without fetishes were drawn to the community for financial opportunities, but still experience the associated stigma due to being associated with the content of their work. As far as the respondents reported, stigma has not directly affected their sexuality. It may have been one of the driving forces toward their online presence, but it hasn’t changed their sexual expression any more than the preexisting limitations of fantasy fetishism have. They report that they are inclined to seek out partners who share their fetishes, but this is not a necessity. Only one respondent reported sexual problems that coincide with what psychiatric texts predicate. Otherwise, the respondents do not believe that their desires are unhealthy, but they have the capacity to be unhealthy, much like any desire. The respondents do not have much hesitation when it comes to sharing the details of their identity with trusted partners and friends, and some respondents in long-term relationships even make an effort to role-play their fantasies with their partners. They do not feel the drive to be any more open about their sexuality than anyone else, but some feel the need to hide their “spoiled identity.” They attribute this openness to the online community affirming their sexual desires do not fall in line with societal prescriptions of being unhealthy or unnatural. However, without the capabilities granted by the internet, the respondents’ lives would be drastically different. In accordance with Rosenmann’s theory, the benefits of the internet attract this branch of sexual minorities into online communities. Not only does the internet allow for the safe, comfortable exploration of their sexuality, it also allows them to share it with others.

Overall, the interviewees’ internet usage is a balance between browsing others’ content for pleasure or inspiration (or both), interacting with the community, and contributing their own content on hosting sites. As is the case with most of the respondents, a bonus of this is income, which has allowed some to make a living doing something they’re passionate about. Respondents had difficulty finding limitations in this space, as it has offered so much they wouldn’t have been able to access offline. However, some reported that its primary limitations consist of the abuse of anonymity and pirating from some parts of the community. Regardless, the respondents were comfortable enough to talk openly to a stranger about it, and then give him permission to publish the details. They may not be sexually empowered enough to fight for acceptance, but they are enough to ignore the judgement they receive online. Most importantly, though, their work online is one of the most significant factors responsible for their comfort with their sexuality. The respondents have been able to defer some of the marginalizing qualities of Western culture. This work not only allowed them to give their fantasies a physical manifestation, but allowed them to shared and consumed by others. Few of them felt that their work had any real influence on others’ sexual tastes, as they believed that people either like something or they don’t; learning to like something means they wanted to like it anyways. By sharing their fantasies with a mostly open and accepting community, they were given support and affirmation that their desires weren’t unnatural; it showed they aren’t alone. This was a feeling that appeared mutual, since most of them also consumed others’ content. This reciprocal relationship shaped a philosophy in most of them that fetishism is merely another way to derive pleasure from something, and that subject of their desires is comparatively harmless due to it’s sole residence in the imagination. Without the internet, the community would be a mere shell of what it is. The pieces of Rule 34 art that introduced me to this community would be stuck in a physical space, unable to attract and interact with others. Though flawed, the internet has shown itself to be a boon to sexual minorities and artists around the globe.

Appendix

Appendix A: Outreach Letter22

Dear {online nickname}, I’m Alexander, a master’s student at the University of Amsterdam in the Netherlands. I am currently conducting research on fetishism for my master’s thesis in Sociology. My goal is to provide more information that may add to the understanding of what fetishism is from the viewpoint of those who create content for it. This project is about looking at the relationships between your online/offline lives with focus on your art and sexual interests. The point of this thesis isn't to draw conclusions about why you create what you do. Rather, I'm investigating your feelings about how the world views your work, how you view your sexuality in relation to your work, and your feelings on the internet (as a platform) and/or your supporters. I am contacting you because, as an online content producer, you may have an interest in my research. Whether you write, draw, animate, or perform in content on this, regardless of specific tags, I am asking for your participation in my research by taking time to do an interview. There is no cost to you, only your time. Interviews should last between one to two hours. We can either talk over Skype (or related computer calling service), video optional, or through instant messaging. I will take steps to guarantee your confidentiality and anonymity. If you would be willing to hear more about my study and what would be asked of you as a participant, or if you have any questions, please reply to this message or email me at: [email protected] This project has been reviewed, received ethics clearance, and will be supervised by Dr. Sarah Bracke. In the event you have any comments or concerns involving your participation in this study, feel free to contact her at: [email protected]

Thank you in advance for your time and I hope to hear back from you soon.

Sincerely, Alexander Fort M.Sc. Candidate, Sociology University of Amsterdam Amsterdam, North Holland, The Netherlands Tel: +31 020 525 9111

22 Structure and wording heavily influenced by the one used in Bestard, 2008

Appendix B: Interview Questions

Do you have anything you have to do in the next hour or two, like a meeting or appointment?

1. Content Production 1.1. How long have you been doing this? 1.2. Why do you do what you do? What persuaded you to this field of work? 1.3. What role does your work play in your life? 1.4. What inspires you to create what you do? 1.5. Do you find your work fulfilling? 1.6. Would you consider this a lifestyle? 1.6.1. What does the average work day look like? 1.6.2. What does you work environment look like? 1.7. Do you make money from this? 1.7.1. [If yes] Is this your only source of income? 1.7.2. Does the money have influence on your work? How so? 1.8. How would you define/categorize your work? 1.9. Are there any tags you do specifically because you know people like it, while you yourself may not? 1.10. How do you feel about accepting commissions? Any policies on what you will/won’t do? 2. Fetishism 2.1. How would you define fetishism? 2.2. What are your feelings on sexual fetishism? 2.3. Do you identify as a fetishist? 2.3.1. [If yes] How did you come to realize you were into this? Are there any important/landmark events, encounters, or people that stand out? 2.3.2. What tags do you personally enjoy, drawing or seeing? 2.4. How would you define what your work is/contains? 2.5. What aspects of your work do you feel embody fetishism? 3. Stigma 3.1. How do you feel about your work? Your sexual preference? 3.2. How open are you about your work? 3.3. How open are you about your sexual preferences? 3.3.1. How open do you feel you could be about your sexual preferences? 3.4. 'Have your interests affected you offline in some way and how? 3.5. How important is your anonymity to you? 3.5.1. How do you balance hiding your personal identity with getting your name known enough to make money? 3.6. How accepting do you believe people are of your work? 3.7. Have you encountered any resistance or opposition to your work?

3.8. Is there anything you think is too weird? What are your hard limits? 3.8.1. Has that line moved over time? 4. Online Community 4.1. What sites do you frequent involving this aspect of fetishism? 4.2. Where do you post your work? 4.2.1. Which place do you like best? Why? 4.2.2. What do you do there (lurk, promote yourself, active contribution)? 4.2.3. How active are you on these sites outside of posting art? 4.2.4. How much time do you spend on these sites? 4.3. Do you have any connections with other members of the community/other artists? 4.3.1. Any offline? 4.3.2. Would you be opposed to meeting them in person if you had the chance? 4.4. How do you feel about the online community? The people who enjoy what you do? 4.5. What influence do you think the internet has had on your work? 4.6. How influential do you think you are in the community? 4.7. Do you feel like you have a level of influence over what people find arousing, given the specific fetishes you depict and how you depict them? 4.8. Do you feel that there are limitations in what the internet can do (does) for you, in regards to your fetishes and general wellbeing? 4.9. Does the internet make you feel more comfortable with your sexuality? 5. Sexuality 5.1. What role does your work play in your sexuality? 5.1.1. Has it had any influence on your tastes? 5.2. What role does this fetishism play in your sex life? 5.3. Do you try (have you tried) to enact your sexual desires in the real world? 5.4. Some have said that for something to be considered a fetish it has to be present in order for the person to "get off" (become aroused). Do you agree? Is that the case for you? 5.5. Do you experience any issues due to your desires being stuck in the realm of fantasy? 5.6. Are you in a relationship? 5.6.1. [Yes] 5.6.1.1. What is the status of this relationship (married, dating, long-distance)? 5.6.1.2. How long have you been in this relationship? 5.6.1.3. Does your partner know about your work/sexual tastes? 5.6.1.4. Does your partner share your sexual tastes? 5.6.2. [No] 5.6.2.1. Do you believe your interest in fetishism makes it difficult to find a partner/relationship? 5.6.2.2. Do you wish to find a partner that shares your sexual tastes?

6. Demographics 6.1. Age? 6.2. Gender? 6.3. Ethnicity? 6.4. Sexual Orientation? 6.5. Country you’re located in? 6.6. Education? 6.7. Religious background?

Would you like to receive a copy of the thesis before I publish it to check for accuracy and the opportunity to add any additional comments?

In the event I find myself with any more questions, is it alright if I contact you again?

Appendix C: Demographics

Assigned Alias Content Medium Age Range Country Interview Type (Avg=28)

Rick Illustration 36-41 UK IM

Sid Illustration N/A N/A IM

Jeff Illustration 26-35 USA IM

Leon Illustration 26-35 USA IM

Trevor Illustration 26-35 Spain IM

Chris Writing 26-35 USA IM

Em 3D Render 36-41 Belgium Phone

Jules Illustration 26-35 Netherlands IM

Simon Illustration 26-35 USA Video call

Jay Illustration 18-25 Phillipines IM

Desmond Illustration 36-41 USA IM

Dotty Illustration 18-25 USA IM

Ray Illustration 26-35 USA IM

Gabe Illustration 18-25 USA IM

Vic Illustration 18-25 Slovakia Phone

Justin Illustration 26-35 France IM

Matt Illustration 26-35 USA IM

Adrian Illustration 26-35 USA IM

Ethnicity Sample (n=18)

White 11

Mixed 2

Spanish 1

Native American 1

Asian 2

Undisclosed 1

Education n=18 Income Status n=18

High School 6 (33.3%) Solely from content 6 (33.3%)

Bachelor’s 8 ( 44.5%) Content and outside work 10 (55.6%)

Master’s 2 (11.1%) Solely outside work 2 (11.1%)

Art Academy 2 (11.1%) No income 0 (0.0%)

Gender n=18 Sexual Orientation n=18

Male 17 (94.4%) Heterosexual 15 (83.3%)

Non-binary 1 (5.6%) Bisexual 3 (16.7%)

Appendix D: Fantasy Fetish List and Examples This is not a full, comprehensive list of fantasy fetish themes. Those listed below can be found in works from the interviewees:

● Bimboification- A scenario that usually depicts a woman, usually physically unremarkable and sexually timid, transforming into a “bimbo.” This process commonly entails breast, buttocks, and lip expansion, clothing changing into more provocative outfits, and most pertinently, her mentality shifting towards promiscuity and airheadedness. Can also happen to men through sex transformation.

● Blueberry- A specific, notable variant of inflation whose origin is often attributed to Violet Beauregarde’s fate in the film Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971). Essentially, the character inflates with juice, becoming more spherical (as opposed to focusing on any specific body parts) and turning blue. This is not restricted to blueberries, as there have been instances of content using other fruits.

● Dicknipples- This scenario separates itself from other classifications in its uniqueness, in that it is literally when a character’s nipples are replaced with penises (often functional, testicles optional).

● Expansion- An event involving the growth of primary/secondary sexual characteristics, such as breasts, buttocks, penises, etc, as well as other features like muscles and abdomens. Final sizes and time frames vary depending on individual preferences, but can go up to astronomical sizes over the course of minutes. Fetishes this is commonly integrated with: lactation, pregnancy, feederism/weight gain

● Furry- Colloquialism for anthropomorphic animals. This is an entire subculture both offline and online, but has high comorbidity with fantasy fetishes. This fetish also can involve the transformation of a human into an anthropomorphized animal, or having animal traits. Not synonymous with bestiality.

● Futanari- More frequently referred to as “futa,” futanari is Japanese for hermaphrodite. While possible in reality, futanari is a more idealized form of the phenomena. This also shares a high comorbidity with fantasy fetishes, both in occurrence and the scenario of a female character growing a penis (testicles optional). Fantasy fetishism sometimes includes the character growing additional penises and/or the penis(es) growing in size.

● Sex Transformation- More commonly referred to as genderswap or genderbender, this describes the scenario in which a character’s body transforms into a different sex. Not to be mistaken for transgender

● Hyper- This refers to characters with extremely exaggerated sexual characteristics. Also has a subsection dedicated to pregnancy (hyperpreg).

● Inflation- Similar to expansion, but the focus is on being filled and internal pressure. What the subject is filled with varies, but is commonly air, water, or bodily fluids like semen. Some outside of this research depict bursting/popping. Related to: feederism

● Macro/micro size change- Similar to expansion, but tied to overall body size; focuses more on the transition. Again, final sizes and time frames vary depending on personal preferences. See also: macro/microphilia, crush

● Multi- This can refer to a character having or developing more appendages than normal, such as having four arms, six breasts, or three penises. This concept can be taken to extremes, like having an entire person’s body becoming covered in breasts. See also: tentacles, conjoined

● Vore- Short for vorarephilia, this “philia” is already established. However, in the fantasy fetish community, it is not constrained to oral consumption. There are works depicting the consumption, or absorption, of characters through any orifice, including vaginas (see also: “unbirth”), anuses, penises, and nipples. The result of this consumption, as well as the amount consumed, varies depending on personal preference. Some depict gore and death.

*All examples used with creator permission

Figure A: Breast expansion, hyper Figure B: Futanari, dicknipples, hyper

Figure C: Expansion, macro size change Figure D: Hyper muscle, furry

Figure E: Furry, inflation Figure F: Vore, Furry

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