LOOKING YOU IN THE THIRD EYE SINCE 1992 "ALL ALONE TOGETHER" BY THOMAS CHRISTOPHER HAAG • THOMASCHRISTOPHERHAAG.COM VOLUME 24 | ISSUE 7 | FEBRUARY 12-18, 2015 | FREE [2] FEBRUARY 12-18 , 2015 WEEKLY ALIBI WEEKLY ALIBI FEBRUARY 12-18 , 2015 [3] CRIB NOTES BY AUGUST MARCH alibi Crib Notes: Feb. 12, 2015 VOLUME 24 | ISSUE 7 | FEBRUARY 12-18 , 2015 1 After only one episode, some are saying that AMC’s new Burque-based EDITORIAL drama “Better Call Saul” is set to MANAGING EDITOR/MUSIC EDITOR: Samantha Anne Carrillo (ext. 243) _________________. [email protected] FILM EDITOR: a) Improve our town’s struggling Devin D. O’Leary (ext. 230) [email protected] economy FOOD EDITOR/FEATURES EDITOR : b) Destroy our city’s reputation Ty Bannerman (ext. 260) [email protected] c) Influence local law practices ARTS & LIT EDITOR/ WEB EDITOR : Lisa Barrow (ext. 267) [email protected] d) Provide a template for all teevee CALENDARS EDITOR/COPY EDITOR: shows of the distant future Mark Lopez (ext. 239) [email protected] CONTRIBUTING WRITERS: Cecil Adams, Steven Robert Allen, Captain 2 Last Saturday night, a shopkeeper on America, Gustavo Arellano, Rob Brezsny, Shawna Menaul shot a would-be shoplifter who Brown, Suzanne Buck, Eric Castillo, David Correia, made off with ___________________. Erik Gamlem, Gail Guengerich, Nora Hickey, Kristi D. Lawrence, Ari LeVaux, Mark Lopez, August March, Genevieve Mueller, Amelia Olson, a) A box of bath salts Geoffrey Plant, Benjamin Radford, Jeremy b) A large New York-style pizza Shattuck, Mike Smith, M. Brianna Stallings, M.J. c) An expensive “growers lamp” Wilde, Holly von Winckel d) A large bag of vermiculite PRODUCTION ART DIRECTOR: Jesse Schulz (ext. 229) [email protected] 3 While closing up an abandoned PRODUCTION MANAGER : apartment/meth lab, local police Archie Archuleta (ext. 240) [email protected] stumbled on _____________________. GRAPHIC DESIGNERS: Tasha Lujan (ext. 254) [email protected] a) A gang of bloodthirsty homeless Robert Maestas (ext. 254) [email protected] folks STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER: Eric Williams [email protected] b) Several works of art by a famous CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS: American artist Ben Adams, Eva Avenue, Cutty Bage, Max Cannon, c) Marsellus Wallace’s mysterious Michael Ellis, Adam Hansen, Jodie Herrera, KAZ, briefcase Jack Larson, Tom Nayder, Ryan North d) The keys to Zed’s chopped-out SALES motorcycle SALES DIRECTOR: Sarah Bonneau (ext. 235) [email protected] SENIOR DISPLAY ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE: 4 A man charged with the recent murder John Hankinson (ext. 265) [email protected] of another man near the 7-Eleven at ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES: Kathryn and San Mateo previously Valerie Hollingsworth (ext. 263) [email protected] Laura Liccardi (ext. 264) [email protected] worked ______________________. Dawn Lytle (ext. 258) [email protected] Sasha Perrin (ext. 241) [email protected] a) As a clerk at rival convenience store Allsups ADMINISTRATION CONTROLLER: b) As the CEO of a multi-national Molly Lindsay (ext. 257) [email protected] corporation ACCOUNTS RECEIVABLE : c) As a hedge fund manager Courtney Foster (ext. 233) [email protected] d) As a police informant FRONT DESK: Constance Moss (ext. 221) [email protected] Renee Chavez (ext. 221) [email protected] 5 Among bills being considered at this EDITOR AND PUBLISHER: year’s meeting of the New Mexico Carl Petersen (ext. 228) [email protected] SYSTEMS MANAGER: Legislature is one sponsored by State Kyle Silfer (ext. 242) [email protected] Representative Rob Montoya WEB MONKEY: (R- Farmington), who is proposing a bill John Millington (ext. 238) [email protected] that would curb the sale of OWNERS, PUBLISHERS EMERITI: Christopher Johnson and Daniel Scott ____________________. CIRCULATION a) Texas-style “chili” CIRCULATION MANAGER : b) Synthetic drugs like spice Geoffrey Plant (ext. 252) [email protected] c) Candy cigarettes INFORMATION d) Mild green chile PRINTER: The Santa Fe New Mexican IN LOVING MEMORY: Doug Albin, Martin Candelaria, Michael Henningsen, Answers: Eric Johnson, Greg Medara, Mina Yamashita INTERNET SERVICE PROVIDER: 1) A. Members of New Mexico’s film and teevee Southwest Cyberport (232-7992) production community say the new show means [email protected] economic opportunities for Albuquerque and the NATIONAL ADVERTISING: VMG Advertising (888) 278-9866 surrounding area. www.vmgadvertising.com 2) C. The alleged thief tried to take a lighting NUCITY PUBLICATIONS, INC. instrument from the Hydro Lyfe store, only to be 413 Central NW, Albuquerque, New Mexico 87102 shot in the back by the shop owner as he was BUSINESS HOURS: 10AM–5PM MON–FRI attempting to make his getaway. PHONE: (505) 346-0660 FAX: (505) 256-9651 Alibi (ISSN 1088-0496) is published weekly 52 times per year. The content 3) B. Seventy-two images created by Al Momaday of this issue is Copyright © 2014 by NuCity Publications, Inc., and may not be reprinted in part or in whole without written consent of the publisher. All were discovered in the condemned property. rights are reserved. One copy of each edition of Alibi is available free to county residents and visitors each week. Anyone caught removing papers in bulk will 4) D. Demetrius Wright, a former APD informant, is be prosecuted on theft charges to the fullest extent of the law. Yearly subscription $100, back issues are $3, Best of Burque is $5. Queries and manuscripts should facing charges in the death of Lawrence Chapman. include a self-addressed stamped envelope; Alibi assumes no responsibility for unsolicited material. 5) B. House Bill 354 would work to limit the sale of spice and other synthetic drugs by civil remedies to Association those damaged through its sale and use. a of Alternative Newsmedia [4] FEBRUARY 12-18, 2015 WEEKLY ALIBI even though invisibility is the most prominent power of the mythical ring. Jason Steward told the ODDS Odessa American his family recently watched The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies and that his son liked the film very much. According to the D Odessa American , the school’s principal “said N threats to another child’s safety would not be tolerated—whether magical or not.” Steward A ENDS wrote an email to the Daily News , saying, “I assure you my son lacks the magical powers necessary to WEIRD NEWS threaten his friend’s existence. If he did, I’m sure Dateline: England he’d bring him right back.” Steward says his son Perhaps a police officer in Staffordshire was has already been suspended twice this school year, smelling a big promotion when he located what he once for referring to another classmate as “black” thought was a major shipment of marijuana—but and once for bringing the children’s encyclopedia it turned out to be a pile of potpourri. The The Big Book of Knowledge to class—which, as a unnamed officer had been called out to a parcel teacher was apparently shocked to discover, sorting depot after the staff reported several contains an illustration of a pregnant woman. suspicious packages. The officer was shown several cardboard boxes that had been returned from an Dateline: Georgia address in the south of England. Noting the A suburban Atlanta barber is offering old man strange aroma of the boxes, the officer believed haircuts for misbehaving kids. Russell Fredrick, co- them to be filled with drugs. He seized all the owner of the A-1 Kutz barbershop in Snellville, boxes and filled his entire police car with them for said he is offering customers a “Benjamin Button a ride back to the station. The officer then spent Special,” a shaved head with the sides and back 30 minutes unloading the boxes. A request was left in place to simulate a balding head. Fredrick made for a drug-sniffing dog, who had to be routed told the Washington Post he gave the first special to from 20 miles away. When it arrived, the dog his 12-year-old son last fall and saw that his once- showed no interest in the boxes—possibly because failing grades “dramatically skyrocketed.” The first they turned out to contain nearly 18 pounds of customer to accept the offer said her 10-year-old’s flowery potpourri. The officers allegedly spent the misbehavior disappeared after the haircut, and she next hour packaging the potpourri back up and returned to the shop four days later to have it returning it to the parcel depot. corrected. “There are a few people saying it’s emotional abuse,” the barber said. “But on Dateline: Washington average, everyone is applauding the mother that A lifelong football fan who passed away shortly brought the child in—and applauding me as well.” after the end of Super Bowl Sunday has had his After photos of the prematurely balding 10-year- obituary published, listing his cause of death as old hit Instagram, Fredrick said, “you gotta reach “the Seahawks.” Michael Vedvik, of Kent, Wash., these kids somehow, and I would gladly do it died of a heart attack in the early morning hours of again.” Monday, Feb. 2. The event occurred several hours after the Seattle Seahawks lost to the New Dateline: Wyoming England Patriots thanks to an infamous A sheriff’s deputy chose to retire rather than give interception. According to the obituary published up his cowboy hat. The newly elected sheriff of in the Spokesman-Review , 53-year-old Vedvik Sublette County, Stephen Haskell, recently “loved his family, work, clients, traveling, the instituted some changes in the department’s dress Seahawks and life. We blame the Seahawks lousy code. Gone were 10-gallon hats and cowboy play for Mike’s ultimate demise.” Vedvik’s sister boots. In their place were black trousers, tan shirts, wrote the obit, but said her husband added the black combat boots and a black ball cap. comment about the Seahawks.