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Razorcake Issue PO Box 42129, LA, CA 90042 www.razorcake.com #21 I called Sean up sometime during the next week. We talked ean Carswell is trying to kill me. Maybe he doesn’t magazine. Then I asked him if he’d been sunburned too. No. Just a know it. First, it was sun poisoning. According to his little bit more of a tan, he said. SSversion of the story, he was just trying to teach me to About a month later, after my head had fully healed, Sean surf. We just happened to forget to apply sun block. It was cloudy. came down to LA. We went to skate before we dropped off copies I thought, what the heck. I had a full suit on, so only my head, of Bucky Sinister’s new book at the distributor. hands, and feet were exposed. My special lady friend, Megan, had Sean’s a sneaky bastard. He brought up the existential void. just shaved my head. Right in the middle of skating a bowl. See, Nørb mentions it in his As I was bobbing in the ocean, trying not to fall off a piece of column in this issue, though he doesn’t use fruity terms like foam shaped in fiberglass, I got to see some dolphins up real close. “existential void.” Like four feet away. And they were wrestling. I also caught my We talked a lot about Nørb’s column and how it applies to us. first-ever wave and rode it for quite a long time. That made me feel I was thinking about it when I dropped in, carved the deep end, really good. It’s not a “dude-brah, gnarly” good. Just a feeling of then sketched in a place I’d never sketched before, and smashed accomplishment and the thought, of yeah, I’d like to do this again into a transition wall. Stunned, I crawled out of the bowl and and again. caught my breath. “I’ll admit,” I told Sean, “there are times when I Not to hammer this point too often, but the people who make wondered why I’m so interested in making magazines when it this magazine aren’t rich. I can’t think of one of our contributors seems like, as Nørb put it, it ‘is merely another specific instance of who isn’t blue collar or working class poor. We have no an ongoingly generic activity.’” That no matter what the activity, benefactors. The magazine doesn’t pay us any sort of salary. Both no matter how fulfilling and wished for, there’s still a large part of Sean and I constantly have to find work. So when I stood up on a us striving for something to fill a blaring, permanent nothingness. surfboard and rode a wave in, while hanging out with one of my Instead of giving up, that’s why we continue. And if I think about best friends, that was really cool. it all the time, I go crazy. So I skate, learn how to surf, and read. At first I thought the pain in my chest was from wolfing down I dropped in again, a little sore. As I slashed the top of the the burrito after surfing. My second thought was that maybe it was bowl, my rear trucks hung up, I fell about ten feet, landed the nachos and some vengeful jalapenos. I couldn’t fully catch my awkwardly, and had a hard time standing. Sean slid down and breath, even when I went to sleep that night, over ten hours later. picked up my board as I gingerly pulled myself up. My third thought, about five hours later, was that my body was Ten days later, I learned that I cracked my rib with my own poorly digesting all the sun it had absorbed hand. I know it’s not his fault. By this time, I hope you know I’m The next morning, my head was sticking to my pillow. I had to joking about that Sean Carswell dude – and Nørb and all of these peel it slowly from the pillowcase. When I looked in the bathroom Razorcake folks. But they are killing me. By helping me question mirror, it was pretty alarming. Imagine the tip of a hotdog the size every victory and every fall. of a human head. Imagine that rounded tip split at the seams and flayed open from over-boiling. That’s what my head looked like. A –Todd clear yellow liquid oozed from my skull. Super. Over the next several days, my head morphed into an angry patchwork of dry lakebed scabs circumscribed by reddened scars. AD DEADLINE FOR ISSUE #22 AD SIZES • All ads are black and white. August 1st, 2004 • Full page, 7.5” wide, 10” tall. • We don’t reserve ad space. AD DEADLINE FOR ISSUE #23 • Half page, 7.5” wide, 5” tall. • If we need to invoice you, we October 1st, 2004 • Quarter page, 3.75” wide, 5” tall. won’t run your ad until we have • Sixth page, 2.5” wide, 5” tall. the cash on hand, so make those EMAIL OR MAIL US • Please make all checks out to arrangements before the ad Razorcake. deadline. FOR RATES • We now accept electronic ads. AND FULL DETAILS Razorcake and razorcake.com could not have been finished without the invention of toilet paper or these folks: Sean Carswell, Todd Taylor, Josh Lane, Megan Pants, Skinny Dan, ktspin, and Felizon Vidad Individual opinions expressed within are not necessarily those of Razorcake/Gorsky, Inc. Sean <[email protected]> Todd <[email protected]> Razorcake is distributed by Big Top Newstand Services, 2729 Mission St., Ste.201, SF, CA 94110, [email protected] Thank you list: Color-separated, your lead singer’s in restraints thanks to Julia Smut for her Freddy, of the Riverboat Gamblers, help with the cover; 1-2-3-4 Go! thanks to Mike Frame for the Career Suicide interview and fill and a sleepy friend, April. in the blank thanks __________ for whoever took the shots. (We asked but didn’t get a response. Sorry.); Books is good’n’stuff thanks to Jim Conklin for his indie books article and everyone’s a demon waiting to happen thanks to Rob Ruelas for the illustration; Personal Vietnam thanks to Mitch Cardwell for the Clorox Girls interviews and wide-angled thanks to Chrystaei Branchaw for those pics; Schwangled is just fun to say thanks to Rochelle Fox for the Ends pics; Headbutt to the groin when you’re doing dishes thanks to Dan Glenn Fury for the Spontaneous Disgust interview; Out of the blue and killing it thanks to Chris Larsen for his illustration in Jim’s column; If I’m looking at it right, she’s not wearing pants thanks to Jennifer Whiteford; You can take a motherfucking photo thanks to Dan Monick for his picture in Nørb’s column; The guy wanting pork chops in the vending machine picture was just as good thanks to Terry Rentzepis for his illustration in Dale’s column; Pignuts in a clutch thanks to Tommy Wrenn for his illustration in Seth’s column; You are a very patient man thanks to Randy Iwata for his digital help with Nardwuar’s column; Yo! Ho! Ho! Rum good! thanks to Jeff Fox; Critical analysis one future 99 cent bin CD at a time thanks to Aphid Peewit, Cuss Baxter, Donofthedead, Jimmy Alvarado, Liz O., Speedway Randy, and Puckett; Zine reviews can be like pages and pages of emo played really, really slowly thanks to Greg Barbera. www.razorcake.com *• PO Box 42129, Los Angeles, CA 90042 "So, we’re all in one spot. Is it a riot, now?" Issue #21 August/ Sept. 2004 The Soviettes, "Channel X" Liz O ........................... Guerrilla My Dreams .................................pg. 4 Art ..................................... Rummy Duck’s Fun Page............................. pg. 7 Jim Ruland ........................................... Lazy Mick ......................................... pg. 8 Maddy ..................................... Shiftless When Idle ..............................pg. 10 Rev. Nørb .................................... Love, Nørb .................................. pg. 12 Gary Hornberger ........................ Squeeze My Horn ............................... pg. 16 Jennifer Whiteford..................... Marlie’s Story ..............................pg. 18 Designated Dale ..................... I’m Against It ...........................................pg. 20 Sean Carswell ......................... A Monkey to Ride the Dog ....................... pg. 22 Seth Swaaley..................... Swinging Door Conversations ...................pg. 24 Nardwuar The Human Serviette ..... Who Are You? ............................ pg. 30 The Rhythm Chicken .................. The Dinghole Reports ....................... pg. 32 Ben Snakepit ......................................... Snakepit ......................................... pg. 41 ***** Chrystaei Branchaw’s Photo Page .......... The Triggers ...................... pg. 43 Career Suicide ........... Interview by Mike Frame ........................ pg. 44 Independent Books ....... Article by Jim Conklin ............................... pg. 48 Riverboat Gamblers ......... Interview by Todd Taylor ................... pg. 56 Clorox Girls .............. Interview by Mitch Cardwell ................ pg. 60 The Ends ................. Interview Todd Taylor ....................................... pg. 64 Spontaneous Disgust ................. Interview Dan Glenn Fury ........... pg. 68 Dan Monick’s Photo Page ...... Yawns Are Hellos ........................ pg. 75 ***** Record Reviews ........ The Musical Equivalent of a Shoe Box Full of Human Penises ............. pg. 76 Zine Reviews .... Kind of Like the Zine Equivalent to Hawkwind ..... pg. 106 Book Reviews .......... If Things Go Wrong, We Eat Them ................... pg. 110 Razorcake is bi-monthly. Issues are $3.00 ppd. in the US. Yearly subscriptions (six issues) are $15.00 bulk rate or $21.00 first class mail. Plus you get some free shit. These prices are only valid for people who live in the US and are not in prison. Issues and subs are more for everyone else (because we have to pay more in postage). Write us and we’ll give you a price. Prisoners may receive free single issues of Razorcake solely via Left Bank Books, 92 Pike St., Seattle, WA 98101, who have a book-for-prisoners program. Want to distribute Razorcake in the United States? The minimum order is five issues.
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