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EMAIL & SOCIAL MEDIA - Family photos from our Facebook audience. - page 6

DISPLAY AD INDEX - page 7

SUPPORT GROUPS - List of support groups. - page 8

EVENTS - Listing of Pride and family events. This list will give you the status of these annual events, whether they're virtual or in-person this year. As of this writing most are still being planned but our list provides websites for updates. - page 9

Connect With Others Through LGBT Network Families Program - Based on Long Island and Queens, the LGBT Network offers a multitude of services for those wanting to start a family and those already raising children. Read an interview with Mark Mihopulos, Program Manager for the organization's Center Programs & Events. - page 10

ADVERTISER SPOTLIGHT: Susan + Irina Real Estate Team - If you are interested in buying or selling a home in Northern New Jersey, married couple Susan and Irina can assist you. - page 12

Child-Parent Security Act Legalizes Surrogacy in New York - A bill to legalize gestational surrogacy in New York became law this year. Senator Brad Hoylman was the lead sponsor. Hoylman and his husband are proud parents of two children. - page 14 www.morningsidemontessori.org 2020 Hindsight - New York City Public school teacher Ali Rothlizzi writes, "Concern about the end of times has plagued me since I looked around as a kid and thought there is just no way this can possibly last...Somehow though, life caught hold of me and I managed to move be- yond the fear, and find my fair share of bliss along the way. That is, until 2020." - page 16

Broadway Dad - David Sabella is a vocalist, author, educator, and an award winning performer. He appeared both on and off Broadway - perhaps most notably as “Mary Sunshine” in the 1996 revival of “CHICAGO, the Musical” alongside Bebe Neuwirth, the late Ann Reinking, and Joel Grey. David is also a single dad raising teens. - page 20

Cover photo courtesy of David Sabella. Photo credits this page top to bottom: photo courtesy of Renee Tosha Laughman, Tiffany Norfleet, Richard Miller, and Ali Rothlizzi. Gay Parent Magazine Inc. PO Box 750852 Forest Hills, New York 11375-0852 718-380-1780 • [email protected] • www.gayparentmag.com Publisher/Editor Angeline R. Acain Advertising Sales Manager Vivian Schepis Advertising Sales Reps David Kenney, Linda Rizzo Graphic Designer Brett Cohen Marketing Ben Suazo Contributors Deadra Albrecht-Frasch, Gary Hurtubise, Ali Rothlizzi For all inquiries including advertising contact 718-380-1780 / [email protected] Published each May 1st, Gay Parent Magazine - New York is an annual supplement to bi-monthly Gay Parent magazine. SUBSCRIPTION INFORMATION: digital download-$17 1 yr. or $27 2 yrs. Make check payable to Gay Parent Magazine. Visit our web site www. gayparentmag.com to order a subscription online, a single digital or remaining print issue, www.manhattancountryschool.org for a listing of parent support groups, and for more information. Gay Parent Magazine is not responsible for the claims of its advertisers. Copyright © 1998 - 2022 Gay Parent Magazine ▼ Gay Parent Magazine-New York 2021-2022 Issue #19 www.gayparentmag.com 5 EMAIL & SOCIAL MEDIA

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www.riverdale.edu Want to share your parenting experience in Gay Parent [email protected] Magazine? Send us your feature requests, photos, and comments by email at [email protected]. t www.riverdale.edu 6 www.gayparentmag.com Gay Parent Magazine-New York 2021-2022 Issue #19 DISPLAY AD INDEX Adoption French American School of New York - page 8 You Gotta Believe! - page 7 Green Meadow Waldorf School - page 11 The Green Vale School - page 14 After School Program Hackley School - page 9 Brooklyn Music School - page 15 The Kew-Forest School - page 16 Little Red School House Assisted Reproduction & Elisabeth Irwin High School - 3 Elizabeth Swire Falker, Esq., PLLC Manhattan Country School - page 5 / The Stork Lawyer - page 4 Morningside Montessori School - page 5 Yale Medicine Fertility Center - page 2 Riverdale Country School - page 6 www.ryecountryday.org Rye Country Day School - page 7 Autism & Behavioral Coaching The Town School - page 17 The 13th Child Autism & Behavioral Consulting / Rebecca McKee, MSED, BCBA Real Estate - page 18 Susan + Irina Real Estate Team - page 12

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Above left: LGBT Families Arts & Crafts Night at the LGBT Network Hauppauge Com- munity Center. Above right: LGBT mother with her daughter teaching social justice ad- www.yougottabelieve.org vocacy at a LGBT Network event. Below left: Fos- Visit ter-Adoptive Parent Gay Parent magazine's web site Support Group at the www.gayparentmag.com LGBT Network Haup- pauge Community • subscribe through our web site Center. • digital download or print • buy back issues Read more on the • join our mailing list, read our blog LGBT Network LGBT and follow us Families Program on page 10. twitter.com/gayparentmag pinterest.com/gayparentmag facebook.com/gay.parent.magazine Gay Parent Magazine-New York 2021-2022 Issue #19 www.gayparentmag.com 7 SUPPORT GROUPS Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, some of these groups may be offering only virtual support and activities, contact them for updated information. If you know of a group that should be added to this list contact us at [email protected]. Connecticut • Family Pride, visit ed include: parenthood, family & relationship support, Long capitalpridecenter.org/programs-services/family-pride/. Island LGBT Foster Care Project, and family resources. • Queer Mamas* of Connecticut. Private Facebook group The Center has partnered with the organization, You Gotta at facebook.com/groups/ctqueermamas/ • LOFT Families. A social support group for LGBT headed Believe, to place teenagers in permanent adoptive homes families in Westchester County and surrounding areas. To and provides Adoptive Parent Preparation Classes every New Jersey find out about their events please email Ryan Kirrane at Monday at The Center at Bay Shore. For more information [email protected]. visit http://lgbtnetwork.org/family. See article on page 10. • NJ Queer Parents. Private Facebook group at facebook.com/groups/1073706709338540/ • Long Island Adoption Support Group Suffolk County, NY. Email Chemene for info at liadoptive- • Rainbow Families of New Jersey, [email protected]. Free peer-led support group for mem- facebook.com/groups/RainbowFamiliesNJ/ bers at any stage of the adoption and foster care process. We offer a friendly and confidential environment for all to New York share their journey with others who understand. Visit our website, LIadoptivefamilies.org. • The Center, check out programs for families at the LGBTQ Community Center, 208 West 13th St., • PFLAG Long Island gaycenter.org/family-youth/family. Phone 212-620-7310 or PFLAG Long Island is a part of a national organization of email [email protected]. The Center provides parents, families, friends and allies united with the LGBTQ counseling for LGBTQ couples and individuals, support community to move equality forward. Our meetings include and education for intended parents, monthly play days for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning per- LGBTQ parents with young children, and a LGBTQ Family sons, as well as parents, allies and friends who all share Building Expo. their experiences. We provide an opportunity for dialogue about sexual orientation and gender orientation, in a friend- Play Day at The Center (pre-COVID). • Pride and Joy Families, previously a support group for ly, confidential and supportive environment. Visit pflagli.org. LGBTQ families livng in upstate New York, the group lost Photo by Richard Mitchell their funding and closed in 2019. However, they've main- COLAGE - People with a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans- tained this referral list: binghamton.edu/prideandjoyfami- • The Center Family Project is an initiative of LIGALY and gender or Queer Parent. A national organization operated lies/resources/provider-list.html The Long Island LGBT Community Center. Services provid- by and supporting children of continued on page 9

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8 www.gayparentmag.com Gay Parent Magazine-New York 2021-2022 Issue #19 lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender parents. Provides Oneonta Pridefest Last year Oneonta Pridefest was live support, social events, education, and advocacy. Email: co- streamed and recorded on June 6, 2020. As of this writing [email protected], visit colage.org. there is no announcement for 2021. To watch last year's ENTER HERE Pridefest and for updates visit otsegopridealliance.org/ • Queer Parents* NYC. Private Facebook group at TO BE AND facebook.com/groups/118634725192458/ Queens Pride. Usually held the first Sunday in June in Jackson Heights, last year's Queens Pride was lives- FIND A FRIEND • Queer/Trans Family Building Group, The Queer/Trans treamed on June 7, 2020. As of this writing there is no an- Family Building Group is a series of online workshops de- nouncement for 2021. For updates visit queenspride.org. signed to meet the needs of LGBTQ+ individuals planning to become parents, facebook.com/queertransfamily/ Westchester Pride. Last year Westchester Pride hosted a month of virtual Pride celebrations starting June 1st. As of this writing there is no announcement for 2021 yet. Visit loftgaycenter.org/westchester_pride for updates.

Hudson Valley Pride Virtual Festival. Usually held the first weekend in June in New Paltz. Last year they held a month long series of virtual Pride events. At this writing they are still in their planning stages for 2021 Pride. Visit https://lgbtqcenter.org/pride-march-festival/ for updates.

June 5 - 6, 2021 - Middletown Pride. The City of Middle- town, Connecticut Pride is planning two socially distanc- ing Pride Showcases featuring drag queens, show choirs, dancers, and more. On June 5th their Pride Parade will be virtual beginning at 1:00 PM. Check their website to reserve tickets for their Pride Showcase. Visit https://middletownpride.org/ for updates.

June 12, 2021 - 25th Anniversary Brooklyn Pride offer- ing a week long schedule of events leading up to Brooklyn Pride Day on June 12th. Last year it was virtual but this Family in the New York City Pride March year they are once again hosting their Brooklyn Pride 5K Photo by Angeline Acain/Gay Parent Magazine Run/Walk (June 12th). More events are being announced. Visit brooklynpride.org for updates.

June 13, 2021 - 3rd Annual Toms River Pride Festival. EVENTS This COVID-19 compliant event will take place on Wash- ington St. between Main Street and Hooper Avenue in 9th Annual LGBTQ Family Building Expo. Usually held Toms River’s Downtown District from 11:00AM to 5:00PM, in early May, this event was canceled last year due to the with live performances happening outdoors and at Exit 82 COVID-19 pandemic. As of this writing no announcement Theatre throughout the day. Included are family-friendly for an expo in 2021 has been made but a digital journal and activities. Visit provider directory is available to download on their web- exit82theatre.com/shows-events or site. The expo usually consists of a full day of workshops, facebook.com/TomsRiverPride. panels and exhibitors that provide important information on adoption, surrogacy, foster care and alternative insemina- June 13, 2021 - Long Island Pride 2021 Last year's Pride tion. Whether you are planning on becoming a parent to was virtual and featured Taylor Dayne and Johnny Weir. As a teenager or an infant, get resources you need. One-on- of this writing details and information is forthcoming. Visit one consultations are typically available with medical and https://prideonthebeach.org/ for updates. legal professionals. The Center, 208 W. 13th St., NYC. Visit https://gaycenter.org/lgbtqfamilyexpo. Central New York Pride. Usually held in June in Syracuse, NY, they strive to make this a family friendly event. Last May 2, 2021 - 9th International Family Equality Day. year they streamed a 2020 Virtual Pride Cabaret on their COME TALK LGBTQ family organizations from around the world will social media channel. They encourage people to follow join forces to increase the international visibility of LGBTQ Black Cuse Pride at facebook.com/BlackCusePride and TO US ABOUT families. This year's motto is, Families - being our authen- Black Lives Matter Syracuse at facebook.com/blmsyr2. tic best. Visit http://internationalfamilyequalityday.org/ for Visit cnypride.org for updates. KINDERGARTEN events. Capital Pride Parade and Festival. Usually held on the May 11, 2021 - Staten Island PrideFest 2021 This year 2nd Sunday in June. Last year on June 6th they held a 5K PrideFest is taking place virtually again. As of this writing Rainbow Run and an in-person Pride Parade and Festival. 293 BENEDICT AVENUE so far planned is an open mic virtual event to listen to the At the time of this writing there was no announcement for lives and stories of members of the Transgender, Gender 2021. Visit 518capitalpride.com for updates. TARRYTOWN, NY 10591 Non-Conforming and Ally Community of Staten Island. (914) 366-2642 They are looking for participants and for other entertainers. June 27, 2021 - NYC Pride. This year's theme is "The WWW.HACKLEYSCHOOL.ORG PrideFest is a production of the Pride Center of Staten Is- Fight Continues." Once again offering a month long ros- land. Visit pridecentersi.org/trans-event. ter of events ending with PrideFest on June 27th. Planned continued bottom of page 10 www.hackleyschool.org Gay Parent Magazine-New York 2021-2022 Issue #19 www.gayparentmag.com 9 Connect With Others Through LGBT Network’s LGBT Families Programs socializationWith strained by the pan- demic, LGBTQ fam- ilies can connect with other families through the LGBT Network. The fol- lowing is an inter- view with Mark Mi- hopulos, Program Manager, for the or- ganization’s Center Programs & Events. Gay Parent Left photo: Mark Mihopulos (right) with husband, Andrew, at Family Pride Night at the Long Island Children's Magazine-New Museum, in partnership with the LGBT Network. Right photo: a family at the LGBT Families Potluck at the York: Approximate- LGBT Network Hauppauge Community Center. ly how many fami- Mihopulos: Before the pandemic, we primarily served families lies use your services? across Long Island, in both Nassau and Suffolk counties, with some Mark Mihopulos: Several hundred families are engaged with families connecting from Queens, through our Q-Center in that bor- the LGBT Network's LGBT Families, be it as LGBT-headed house- ough. However, our Virtual Center has provided us with the unique holds, as parents of LGBT youth and children, as prospective par- ability to reach families from around the country and the world. In the ents or as family members with LGBT relatives. last year, we have supported, engaged and connected families from GPM-NY: What areas do the families live in that use your ser- across the United States and abroad, enriching the conversations vices? continued on page 11 Events continued from page 9 again for this year is a virtual Rally on June 25th. Family Movie Night in virtual format is on their schedule again but at this writing there is no specific date announced. Visit nycpride.org for updates.

June, 2021 - Fairfield County's Pride in the Park. At this writing they are still in their plan- ning stages and looking for volunteers but planning a month long Pride event schedule. Last year Pride was held in person at Mathews Park, Norwalk, CT. Their Pride is free and family friendly. Last year attendees enjoyed dozens of vendor booths selling local crafts, delicious food, and could connect with local agencies or organizations that support the LGBTQ com- munity. There's a lot for families at Pride in the Park as well! Last year activities included a Family Pride Social with Stepping Stones Museum for Children, hula hooping, face painting, and other fun activities for families with kids. Visit ctpridecenter.org or facebook.com/CTPrideCenter/ for updates.

Annual Harlem Pride. Harlem Pride will be held virtually this year. Last year it was held at the end of June in person and featured celebrity hosts, live entertainment throughout the day, food vendors, medical testing and health screening, face painting, Drag Queen Story Hour, and more. At this writing an announcement for their schedule was forthcoming. Visit harlempride.org for updates.

July 24 - 31, 2021 - Family Week, Provincetown, Massachusetts. This is the largest annual gathering of hundreds of LGBTQ families from all over the country, sponsored by Family Equality Council (familyequality.org) and COLAGE (colage.org). Last year it was canceled due to the pandemic but this year families are meeting in person again; virtual programming is also being planned. Visit ptownfamilyweek.com for updates and to register.

August 21, 2021 - 21st Annual Jersey City LGBTQ+ Pride Festival. At this writing they are in their planning stages. Last year Pride was in person and took place at Newark Avenue between Grove Street and Jersey Avenue in the heart of historic downtown Jersey City. Last year's festival schedule included great tasting food, fantastic entertainers, fun for families, youth, young adults, elders and more. Visit jerseycitypride.com or facebook.com/JerseyCityPride for updates. www.farbrook.org

10 www.gayparentmag.com Gay Parent Magazine-New York 2021-2022 Issue #19 continued bottom of page 11 in our programs with diverse per- Thursday of every spectives and experiences. month at 8:00 PM GPM-NY: What services and where fathers can activities do you offer families pri- connect in discus- or to the pandemic and during? sions of fatherhood Mihopulos: Prior to the pan- and queer identity. demic, we offered prospective • parents in person LGBT Fam- On Zoom, we host ily Building workshops on fos- monthly LGBT Fam- ter care, adoption, and assisted ily Building work- reproduction by partnering with shops, each with local community resources and Left photo: Pre-adoptive gay couple, James a focus on either focusing on highlighting parents Muller and James Hunt-Muller at the LGBT adoption, foster and families with authentic ex- Network Hauppauge Community Center's care, or assisted perience. In February 2020, we LGBT Family Building workshop (they reproduction where hosted 200 families and prospec- since have adopted a baby, named Leo). prospective parents tive parents at our first ever LGBT Right photo: foster-adoptive mother, Dan- can learn, ask ques- Families Expo, where parents ielle Skelly with child, Rosie at the LGBT tions and gather connected and learned at work- Network Hauppauge Community Center's community resourc- shops and a community resource LGBT Families Expo in February 2020. children es related to their fair. Children with LGBT parents and par- potential pathways to parenthood. played together and built friendships. For ents in LGBT families (and allies) to discuss • On Zoom, we host parent educa- established LGBT families, we organized the books and connect and get to know one tion forums with themes that can support community OUTings, rainbow potlucks, sen- another. This supports the children viewing LGBT parents and parents of LGBT youth sory play experiences, arts and craft work- diverse images of people that could mirror in becoming more successful and confident, shops, and movie nights at our community their identities and/or their family structures. with themes including Trauma-Informed Par- center in Hauppauge, NY. • On Zoom, we host a monthly Gay, enting for Adoptive and Foster Families and Since the pandemic, the LGBT Net- Bi, Trans & Queer Dads Meet Up on the third continued on page 13 work's Virtual Center has allowed us to expand our LGBT Families program to al- low more families and prospective parents to join together in building community and learning together: • On Zoom, we host LGBT Fam- ilies Story Time event on the first Tuesday of every month at 6:30 PM where we read LGBTQ-affirming picture books and allow Events continued from page 10 October 10, 2021 - Jersey Pride's annual LGBTQ Pride Celebration was usually held the first weekend in June. Last year on June 7th they had a virtual celebration called United In Pride, watch it at jerseypride.org. Starting last year they postponed their in-person Pride event to coin- cide with Coming Out Day. This year they are holding their in-person event once again on Coming Out Day. This event is family friendly and they invite you to bring your kids to ©FERNANDO LOPEZ their Family Zone. Visit their website for more information jerseypride.org or facebook.com/JerseyPrideInc. We teach students to think for themselves. 7th Annual Hartford Capital City Pride Week and Waldorf students are creative, curious, confident, well-rounded people who PrideFest, Hartford, Connecticut. Usually takes place on make a difference in the world. the second Saturday in September. It's a family, kid and pet Committed to inclusivity, we welcome LGBTQ+ and gender-fluid families. friendly event. At this writing no announcement has been made for 2021. Visit hartfordpride.com or facebook.com/hartfordpride for updates. t

Want your New York, New Jersey, or Connecticut Pride or LGBTQ family event listed here? Email us at gayparent- gmws.org [email protected]. www.gmws.org Gay Parent Magazine-New York 2021-2022 Issue #19 www.gayparentmag.com 11 ADVERTISER SPOTLIGHT Let us help you find your home! e are Susan Horowitz and Irina Grobman, li- to our clients and help them find not just a house, but a Montclair (and surrounding areas) and provides construc- censed NJ Realtors® and 2 of the 5 owners of community that’s right for them. We understand that a home tive insight on whatever you need. We highly recommend West Wof Hudson Real Estate, a boutique realty brokerage is more than just the four walls you’re in. It’s family, friends working with Susan and we're sad we don't get to talk to her in Montclair, New Jersey. We also happen to be a married and neighbors. It’s the schools and the parks. It’s the main every day anymore! couple and together, we’re are Susan + Irina Real Estate streets and the side streets. It’s a place you feel you fit in - Miriam K., Montclair Team. and belong, and a place where you feel you’ve found your Irina was instrumental in helping my husband and A little about our brokerage – West of Hudson is a tribe. I buy a house in Bloomfield, NJ. As first-time buyers, her women-owned business made up of 32 seasoned real Here’s what our clients say about us: knowledge on the Bloomfield/Montclair area (residential, estate professionals. We are hugely proud to have built a Susan and Irina are an amazing team! They guided downtown, schools etc.) and NJ-specific aspects of the company with diverse hiring practices, emphasis on local us through the entire process of buying/selling and always process was super important to our final decision. She un- knowledge, and putting our clients and their needs at the had our best interest in mind. When our initial deal fell derstood what we were looking for and made it easy for us forefront of everything we do and everything we stand for. through unexpectedly, they managed to relist and bring in to be honest about each house throughout our search. Irina As Susan + Irina Real Estate Team we have more multiple (better!) offers within a week’s time. Susan is also was very responsive as we navigated a highly competitive than $135 million in closed sales since 2010 and have re- a stellar negotiator and provided excellent advice in helping market amidst the pandemic. We also relied on not only her ceived a Circle of Excellence award every year since 2010. us choose the right buyer for our home. We worked with real estate expertise but used her recommendations for (Platinum in 2020!) We specialize in residential real estate Irina to find our new home and she is truly the best. She everything from our attorney and inspections to our home and in helping our clients to buy and sell homes in North took the time to really understand our family’s needs and insurance and new favorite sushi spot. We highly recom- Jersey. provided amazing insight on every home she toured for us. mend Irina and already have sent our close friends to her! The NJ towns we cover are a perfect combination of We could not recommend them more! - Grace N., Bloomfield urban and suburban – treelined neighborhoods are walk- - Natalie H., Montclair If you’re interested in buying or selling a home in able, with close proximity to tons of shops, restaurants, Working with Susan was a great experience from Northern New Jersey, have any questions about the pro- bars, parks, “things to do,” and of course, public transporta- start to finish. My husband and I started looking for homes cess, or would just like to check out some NJ towns, please tion to NYC! In fact, the majority of our buyer clients come right before the pandemic hit and as the situation worsened, don’t hesitate to reach out. susanirinarealestate@gmail. from NYC, Jersey City and Hoboken, looking for a similar Susan was there for us every step of the way. She helped com , IG @susanirinarealestate , or call/text Susan at 201- vibe, easy commute, and good public schools. us stay calm and to make smart decisions throughout every 803-4791. t But one of our biggest strengths is our ability to listen turn. Susan is extremely knowledgeable in all aspects of

12 www.gayparentmag.com Gay Parent Magazine-New York 2021-2022 Issue #19 www.susanirinarealestate.com LGBT Network contin- ued from page 11 Becoming a Success- ful Parent to TGNCNB Children and Youth. • On Zoom, we host a monthly parent training called Fostering LGBT Youth Our differences to empower foster par- ents and prospective are our strength parents with informa- tion on LGBT youth in foster care and how to become an affirming Accepting home to this overrep- Students for Fall resented population. 2021 & 2022 Foster parents can earn annual MAPP maintenance hours for completing this course. It is held on the first Thursday of every month at 6:00 PM. • On Zoom, we host a month- Fit in and stand out ly Parents of LGBT among welcoming, Youth: Support Group diverse, intellectual, on the last Thursday passionate students Top left photo: adopted baby of a gay father in their LGBT Fam- of every month at 6:00 and teachers. ilies program. Top right photo: RJ, child who explores gender PM to allow parents expression. Bottom photo: the Braut-Doherty Family, Steve and to support other par- Sean with daughter Charlotte at LGBT Families photo exhibit at y Individually-tailored ents in understanding the LGBT Network Hauppauge Community Center. university guidance sexual orientation and y As an IB World School, we gender identity and programs that truly meet the ever-evolving offer multiple college-level how to employ best practices in parenting needs of the different populations that com- courses and process their emotions. prise the LGBT community. My favorite mo- y 40+ clubs, competitions, GPM-NY: How long have you been the ments are when I see people growing into sports and service, Program Manager for the Center's Program their true selves, becoming more confident, including our respected & Events and what are your duties? Tell us a healthy and inspired individuals. I have seen Pride Not Prejudice Club little about yourself. children with LGBT parents greet one an- y International leadership Mihopulos: I am an experienced gen- other and engage in toddler conversations and service field trips for eral and special education teacher, having on Zoom, building relationships and seeing students and faculty taught in both private and public schools in themselves in one another. I have witnessed y Students from 75 different NYC and Long Island. I am also a proud LGBT older adults come out to their children countries, including the foster-adoptive parent of a young man, and families and grow in their relationships United States named Jeremy. Combining these rich ex- as a result. I have supported prospective periences, I became the LGBT Network's parents through successfully expanding and LGBT Families Program Coordinator two starting their families, welcoming new faces years ago and the LGBT Network's Program into their homes and our community. I am NEW YORK PASADENA OXFORD Manager, a year ago. In this role, I organize very grateful for the opportunities the LGBT and lead our education and programs for the Network provides me each day! +1-914-495-6056 LGBT community, including children, youth, Visit www.lgbtnetwork.org or contact www.efacademy.org families and seniors. I get to connect with Mark at [email protected]. t others in the LGBT community, listen, relate, empower and learn! Through these rela- Photos courtesy of Mark Mihopulos tionships, I can design effective and exciting www.efacademy.org Gay Parent Magazine-New York 2021-2022 Issue #19 www.gayparentmag.com 13

21EFA_Ad_Magazine_50.8mmx228.6mm_US.indd 1 03.03.21 14:32 Child-Parent Security Act Legalizes Surrogacy in New York By Gary Hurtubise

ver the summer of 2020, Gay York was one of only three states in the OParent Magazine featured two- nation with laws explicitly banning the term New York state senator Brad Hoyl- practice of gestational surrogacy – includ- man. Brad was the lead sponsor of the ing criminal sanctions for violating the law. Child-Parent Security Act – a bill to Today, only Louisiana and Michigan legalize gestational surrogacy, which have anti-surrogacy laws on the books – passed in April of 2020, and became law laws that are still being enforced, to some- in February of this year. times cruel effect. Brad and his partner of 28 years, film- Case in point: Tammy and Jordan maker David Sigal, are raising two girls: Meyers, a heterosexual couple from Mich- ten-year-old Sylvia and three-year-old igan, recently had twins via gestational Lucy. Both girls were conceived through surrogacy. Despite affidavits from their gestational surrogacy. Up until February doctor, and from the surrogate mother of 2021, the only way New Yorkers were and her husband, asserting that Tammy legally able to grow their family in this way and Jordan were the babies’ biological was by seeking it out of state. parents, the state is forcing the couple to Brad and David, for instance, had adopt their own children. to travel to California about ten times to According to a New York Times arti- oversee the arrangements for the surro- cle from January of this year, the Meyers gacy of their two daughters. had to provide reference letters to the Why was this the case? state and get ‘temporary permission’ from Hoylman-Sigal family: left to right, Because prior to the passing of Hoyl- the surrogate before the hospital would Senator Brad Hoylman holding Lucy, man’s Child-Parent Security Act, New release the newborns to their care. husband David Sigal, and Silvia.

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EARLY CHILDHOOD THROUGH 8TH GRADE 250 Valentine’s Lane, Old Brookville, NY | 516.621.2420 www.greenvaleschool.org 14 www.gayparentmag.com Gay Parent Magazine-New York 2021-2022 Issue #19 In the meantime, the couple must go Gestational surrogacy is a technique tion of a surrogate’s womb – decrying it as through a home study and a criminal back- welcomed by couples struggling with in- a ‘womb-for-rent’ situation. ground check before being able to keep fertility, but also by many LGBTQ+ individ- “It denigrates and exploits women, re- their two new children… despite already uals and couples looking to become par- ducing them to nothing more than hosts,” raising their eight-year-old daughter. ents genetically related to their children. said Kathleen Gallagher, director of Pro- The history of banning surrogacy in While surrogacy as a medical pro- Life Activities for the New York State New York state goes back to 1992, when cess has become relatively straightfor- Catholic Conference. In an interview with then-governor Mario Cuomo signed into ward (if not guaranteed to succeed), the thetablet.org, she went on to say, “It’s an law the original bill outlawing the proce- administration surrounding the procedure unequal transaction. It’s not lower-income dure. has become quite extensive… and costly. couples hiring rich women as surrogates. Perhaps fittingly, it was Mario’s son, The price of surrogacy includes fees It’s rich people hiring poor women.” present governor Andrew Cuomo who for surrogacy agencies and lawyers, med- The transaction Gallagher speaks of signed the present law lifting the ban. ical costs and health insurance for the is the compensation given to a surrogate, Governor Cuomo – who was strongly in surrogate, as well as suitable compensa- which ranges from $25,000 to $50,000. support of legalizing same-sex marriage tion. Add on top of that the potential cost Supporters of the bill, however, cel- early in his tenure – asserted that New of travel across the country, and the final ebrate the protections the new law puts York’s surrogacy ban was “based in fear, tally can push $150,000. into place for surrogates, not to mention not love,” adding that it was especially In a press release announcing the the protections for intended parents, and harmful to same-sex couples. signing of New York’s surrogacy bill into – most importantly – protections for the Traditional surrogacy involves fer- law, Brad declined to say the exact costs children born of surrogacy. tilizing an egg from the surrogate, who he and David incurred through the surro- then carries the child to term. Gestational gacy of their two daughters, though David The Child-Parent Security Act surrogacy, by contrast, is where the surro- asserted, “It was worth every penny.” gate’s egg is not used. An egg from the Not everyone thinks the new law is a According to familyequality.org, the intended mother is fertilized, then trans- good thing. Catholic leaders in New York new act brings New York law into the 21st ferred for gestation. The result is a child claim that surrogacy violates the teaching century by adopting “best practice recom- who is not genetically related to the sur- of the church; other opponents equate the mendations of the American Bar Associ- rogate. legalization of surrogacy to the monetiza- continued on page 17

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(718) 638-5660 126 St. Felix St Brooklyn, NY 11217 [email protected] www.brooklynmusicschool.org www.brooklynmusicschool.org Gay Parent Magazine-New York 2021-2022 Issue #19 www.gayparentmag.com 15 2020 Hindsight By Ali Rothlizzi very New Year’s I often wonder if it might somehow Ebe the last. Maybe it’s Y2K residue? Concern about the end of times has plagued me since I looked around as a kid and thought there is just no way this can possibly last. Society as a whole has always looked to me like a ship that thinks it’s flying but is actually just falling from an unfortunate height. Somehow though, life caught hold of me and I man- aged to move beyond the fear, and find my fair share of bliss along the way. That is, until 2020. I’m now convinced that we have just lived through a kind of apocalypse. Terrifying administrations aside, the world it seemed to me became very strange right from the start. There are those who think we at least in part navigate our own destinations through this multiverse. Twenty twenty though felt like the year we were all tested to see who can drive. Between our rogue bombing of General Soleimani and the continent of Australia catching fire, to Ricky Gervais’ fright- ening Golden Globes announcement that it didn’t matter be- cause it “was the last time,” I was well braced for impact long before watching the shutdown of Wuhan via NetStreams. What honestly surprised me about last year was how well it continued on page 17 The author, Ali Rothlizzi, left, with wife Amy and their children, Niky (center front) and Kody on right.

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www.kewforest.org 16 www.gayparentmag.com Gay Parent Magazine-New York 2021-2022 Issue #19 Child-Parent Security Act continued from page 15 2020 Hindsight ation and the NY Health Department’s Task Force on Life and continued from page 16 Law.” Broadly speaking, the law provides the following guaran- all actually went! tees: My wife Amy and Gestational surrogacy is now legal in New York, provided I are Special Educa- that the arrangement “follows best practices in the field that pro- tion teachers who live in tect the interests of the surrogate, intended parents, and child.” Farmingdale, Long Is- The new act eliminates “demeaning and expensive require- land. It was the closest ments for securing legally enforceable parenthood for lesbian we could afford so we couples and others.” In other words, in situations where the commute, unfortunate- surrogate is also the intended mother of the child, the mother’s ly though, not together. partner can now be named as a legal parent of their newborn Amy teaches K-6 D75 in child immediately upon birth – regardless of whether they are Queens and I teach 7-12 married or not (however, regardless of this new act, a second in the South Bronx. We parent adoption ensures parental legality for the non-biological have two children, Kody, parent in all states). 11, and in 6th grade and Single women who rely on a sperm donor to build their fami- Niky, 9, in the 4th. Chef Kody baking during the ly can readily secure sole legal parenthood of their child. Before all this start- pandemic. Furthermore, the new act has created a solid legal frame- ed, Amy got sick. Truth work for intended parents: be known, Amy rarely gets sick, but when she does, she usu- -it creates a “simple, no-cost pathway to legal parentage for ally makes sure we all know it! This time, however, she was the partner of a gestating parent,” in situations where both part- quiet. She had a dry cough and slept. It lasted from the week ners have agreed to become parents of the child; before Thanksgiving to the end of January. During this time -it includes measures to ensure that the surrogate is “healthy my father also became very ill, and both kids in December. It’s and capable, emotionally and physically, of carrying a pregnancy funny because I remember thinking I felt like Superwoman, to term”; because I never caught anything. Now, before everyone dis- -it clarifies that the donor(s) of an egg and/or sperm are not misses this as inconsequential since Covid-19 wasn’t “here” legally parents, in situations continued bottom of page 19 by Thanksgiving, let me also mention that hospitals in China

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Nursery-8th Grade | Co-Educational | 400 Students | Founded 1913 | 540 East 76th Street, NYC [email protected] (212) 288-6395 thetownschool.org www.townschool.org Gay Parent Magazine-New York 2021-2022 Issue #19 www.gayparentmag.com 17 were at 3Xs normal capacity that Octo- fears but was told that if he did not ber, my wife’s school has a very large have a current fever, there was lit- Chinese population, and many travel to tle she could do. She then went on and from China frequently. She’s also to explain that she had only just re- in close physical proximity to every child, covered from a virus that had inca- daily. pacitated her the week before and My school is about 2 miles from then throughout Winter vacation where they first sealed off New Rochelle. (and this was meant to assuage There was a flu affecting our top floor in my fears.) I asked her if she had January, but my inability to ignore the been tested and she said that no, red flags began just after Winter Break. she had not. A mother told me her 7th grade son had What followed was a very been admitted to the hospital that Friday difficult and exhaustive couple for chest pain, but that I should not wor- of weeks. I read medical studies ry because he would be back tomorrow done on Covid from China explain- (Tuesday) even though he still had a per- ing that this virus could live on or- sistent cough. I tried to explain that the ganic surfaces for hours, and days child should stay home if unwell, but she on plastic or metal. I read that explained that there was no one to watch heavier particles could linger an him, so he would be in. Once again, I felt hour and a half in still air. I strug- angry at a school system used more like gled to find Lysol, and the time be- a babysitting service than a place of ac- tween classes to wipe every desk ademia. Society all too often loses sight and spray every classroom. Niky (left) and Kody at remote school. of actual purpose. That’s when I got sick. It start- That child did come in, and he never ed as a cough that didn’t feel too the last day I even could go in. One of stopped coughing. By this time, news serious, but that Friday the 13th I ran a our staff tested positive from the class- of the quarantine in Wuhan was out. I slight fever. I called out and, as it turns room next to mine. Our entire floor was went to the school nurse to explain my out, not wanting to test fate, and that was told to stay home, and by next week, we were all preparing for remote teaching.

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18 www.gayparentmag.com Gay Parent Magazine-New York 2021-2022 Issue #19 [email protected] It took about two weeks for me student’s cousin died. Soon, an entire to get a test. I was on camera as I section of my extended family got sick. drove up to the Jones Beach testing What happened in the beginning center. I saw white as they shoved for us I was really proud of. Amy and I that Qtip into the back of my eye. became a united force. She wasn’t as And a week later, I was texted by the scared of Covid as I was. I heard her Department of Health and told that I talking to her sister-in-law once explain- was not positive. By then I was feel- ing how my mom had died suddenly ing better and so relieved that NYC when I was a kid, and that she knew I had closed in person teaching. was hyper-aware that anything can hap- We’d kept the kids home that pen anytime. So who was she to risk Friday as well, and in the beginning, anything more than necessary? We had it felt a little like a vacation. My wife only outdoor socially distant visits with and I did get busy immediately sup- the in-laws. We did experiments. We plementing the skills we felt our kids painted. Niky took Chess lessons and might be losing. We revamped the Kody learned to cook. chore chart on the fridge to reflect a Amy worked summer school and healthy division of time: there were we used money we’d saved not going on normal chores, making beds, clean- vacation or commuting to buy an above ing rooms, etc. But there was also ground pool. It was amazing to work half hour of exercise added, educa- from home, have this precious time with tional programming, and creative Photo taken of an indoor visit with Ali's in- the kids, and feel safe and comfortable projects. We had them journal daily laws. A plastic sheet hangs in the doorway. in our own backyard. But it was quiet. and we invested in IXL (a skill based We missed friends. People we knew program incorporating subjects like began to realize that I wasn’t completely were sick or scared and every socially math, English Language Arts, science, unjustified in my fear. There was a man distanced event brought forth its own so- social studies, and Spanish K-12). This on our block who hosted a poker game cial stigmas to navigate. We’d survived helped us feel a bit more disciplined as early March with three friends. One of the Spring working remotely but by June the news got crazy but the neighborhood them suspected that he had Pink eye, so numbers were down in NYC. It wasn’t yet quiet. they were extra careful. It turned out to known what would happen in September Around this time my wife and I had be Covid and that neighbor was hospi- but one thing New Yorkers knew, Covid a couple of fights. We don’t usually. If talized. He was lucky though. He was would be back. I had to request a day to anything we playfully banter but pan- the only one from that poker game who go into work, and try to retrieve enough demic stress began poking at a lot of survived. of my materials that I could better teach sore spots. I began to realize that I was My friend’s dad died, two co-work- from home. I applied for remote teaching fine if I could keep the world from coming ers at my wife’s school, another dad, my as soon as allowed, and convinced Amy in my front door; and the biggest prob- sister’s ex-boyfriend, my student’s dad, to do the same. We were both ex-smok- lem with that was my father-in-law. Amy one student’s entire family got sick, a ers, and continued bottom of page 20

Child-Parent Security Act states.” health.ny.gov and search for ‘surrogacy’. continued from page 17 Vicki added, “Ethical surrogacy prac- For more information on State Senator where the intent is for them to only be do- tices that are optional in some states will Brad Holyman, visit his page at nors; and now be statutorily required in New York. nysenate.gov/senators/brad-hoylman. t -it establishes the legal, unambigu- And no out-of-state surrogacy agency can Gary Hurtubise lives in Eastern On- ous relationship between a child and the operate in New York without obtaining a tario with his husband Trevor, their two intended parents from the moment of state license, thereby becoming obligated sons Noah & Meo, and their two yellow birth. to follow the new regulations.” labs. Gary attended the Royal Military As the surrogacy ‘bill of rights’ enters “We’re asking people who don’t know College of Canada and served in the its first few months of service, added ben- each other to come together to bring a Royal Canadian Navy before becoming efits of the act are becoming apparent. baby into the world,” she said. “We need a high school physics teacher, and part Attorney Vicki Ferrara, founder and to have both the intended parents and the time Ghostwriter. Gary finds time to write legal director of Worldwide Surrogacy in surrogate protected so the baby is brought during those odd moments between life: Fairfield, Connecticut, is impressed by the into a situation that is really positive.” at 4:30 in the morning, on long road-trips new law. In an Associated Press release Senator Hoylman’s Child Parent Se- with the kids, while back-country camping, from February of this year, she asserted curity Act goes a long way to ensuring just and when he should be doing his share of that it “brings surrogacy into a new realm this. the chores. of ethics that we haven’t seen in other For more information on the act, visit Photo courtesy of Avi Small

Gay Parent Magazine-New York 2021-2022 Issue #19 www.gayparentmag.com 19 David Sabella: Broadway and Beyond

By Deadra Albrecht-Frasch avid Sabella is an accomplished Dperformer, vocalist, author, educa- tor, and father. David has appeared both on and off Broadway-perhaps most notably as “Mary Sunshine” in the 1996 revival of “CHI- CAGO, the Musical” alongside Bebe Neuwirth, the late Ann Reinking, and Joel Grey. He has won several awards including but not limited to, Outstanding Performer in a Lead Role for his work in “The Phillie Trilogy”, and winner of the 1995 Luciano Pavarotti International Voice Competition. We’ll dive more in depth into David’s astonishing career later, but first let’s learn a little about David’s earlier years. David was born in Florida (while his fam- ily was vacationing from New York) but grew up in Westchester County, New York, and has one living brother, Ernie Sabella. David recalls a few stages of "coming out." His parents first tried to have a conversation with him, ques- tioning his sexuality as a young teenager, but David was not ready at that time. Later, in his first semester of college, he wrote his Dad a letter coming out as gay. While in college he Photo shoot of the Sabella family taken while on vacation on a summer cruise in 2017. Left met a young woman and by the second se- to right, Faith, David, and Iraina. mester wrote to his Dad again saying he was Mills. They fell in love and were married in er's names, Irene and Lorraine. Iraina's story is getting married. His Dad asked "what's his Massachusetts as soon as it was legal, in May quite unique. The two men got a call for place- name?" and David replied, "It's a woman." 2004. They honeymooned in June and by July ment and started the steps that usually were; They were indeed married right before soph- had their first foster child. A very quick timeline reading about the child, meeting the child, vis- omore year and subsequently divorced as se- for sure, but even before they were married, itation, and so on. David and Tom arrived at niors. Although at the time he did think that he both he and Tom had already started the New the agency in the morning to read through the was in love, David now jokes that "at least the York state foster adoption process. They ulti- paperwork, and agree to proceed. The agen- married housing at college was great!" mately adopted the infant girl and decided on cy then called the foster mom and see if she Many years later, in 2000, David met Tom the name "Iraina," a combination of their moth- would bring the baby for a visit later that day,

2020 Hindsight continued from page 19 minutes it became obvious to me that I gets messed up, they are quick to re- that was enough to put us in an at-risk was headed straight for a panic attack. I fund your money. I switched from Keto category. filled three school bags worth of teaching to Noom as supplies were impossible to This time I was ready. I had a Kn95 materials and fled the scene. secure in the Spring. By Summer, the mask, a cloth mask protecting that, and I had to go back as soon as I was curve was flattening and the world was a face shield. I wore gloves and ven- able to arrange another appointment looking for bright sides. tured for the first time inside a public a month later and that time I was a bit Of course, locusts appeared to be space. Many people by now were wear- more prepared. I still fogged up, but I descending on certain parts of Africa, ing masks - off their noses, dangling off took the moment to calm myself. I dug and Murder Hornets were making their their ears, around their chins… further into my broken file cabinet and way to our Northeast. It looked like Having put on about 10 pounds of was able to grab the remains of what Covid Winter was going to hit and our pandemic weight the stairs took a great- was important with some ease. That Teacher’s Union wasn’t going to be able er toll on me than I’d expected, and was the last time I was inside my school. to prevent a strike. Our apocalypse was by the time I was in my classroom, my We subscribe to Instacart which still raging around us and by now, the shield was all fogged up. In my stress was rough in the beginning--supplies rest of the country was catching up to I forgot that trick to opening my file cab- were low--but since has been a gift. It’s NYC. I began feeling a bit more secure inet and broke the key. Within about 5 uncomfortable not being able to pick out in explaining my comfort level and ad- your own vegetables but when an order justing other people’s expectations be- 20 www.gayparentmag.com Gay Parent Magazine-New York 2021-2022 Issue #19 continued bottom of page 21 Above photo: Tom and David's marriage in 2004. Left photo: Says Sabella, "The whole, very big. and complicated clan; this picture is from several years ago." Faith and Iraina are left and right. Christian is center front, and his sister (also named Faith) is behind him next to David. prints? Etc. Then they can tell you two are resourceful. So, if you want brought in the baby to take the baby today, you can." David recalls and she immediately thinking, "They’re letting me leave the build- fell asleep on David's ing with a human! I couldn't believe it. We had chest. While she was nothing, not one thing, for a baby." Tom and sleeping, they said, "By their social worker, Janai Belton, went home sending David and Tom to lunch. the way, there was a little mix up and the fos- with baby while David bought out all of K-Mart. David recalls that as soon as they re- ter mom didn't understand (due to a language By 8:00 PM that night, when it was just himself, turned from lunch, they noticed a tremendous barrier) that this was only a meet and greet. In- Tom, and Iraina, they looked at each other and shift in the energy at the agency. “Everyone stead, she had packed up all the baby’s things, said "What do we do now?" They sat on their was literally running in the office. “Could you said a tearful goodbye and left. They said, "We king-sized bed, with the baby between them, sign this please? Could we have your finger-

2020 Hindsight continued from page 20 clear plastic table cloth, prearranged a all our household consumer products to dinner and allowed them access to our ecologically sustainable subscriptions. fore I felt violated. There are those who basement bathroom. We’d bought an We’re uniquely braced for the future believe school should be in-person, but outdoor projector and movie screen for planning trips and looking forward to a even with all our luck, too many teachers our Fall birthday boys, and learned to safe, socially responsible, sustainable have already died. bake extravagant cakes and cookies (up society. I guess as apocalypses go, this Amy and I arranged an indoor so- to 15 pounds of pandemic weight now). one wasn’t quite so bad on us. Our fo- cially distant Winter visit with her parents Winter has been tough, long and cus has now shifted, to try and deserve where we separated the rooms with a lonely. I can no longer list the amount of it. t people we’ve lost. And any- Ali Rothlizzi is a mother of two and body we know who did not wife to her partner, Amy, of 22 years. take this seriously has caught She is an intimately genuine ever evolv- it, (as well as many who did.) ing author who writes about creating and We are in the midst now of raising her same sex headed family, life, our vaccination process. I and philosophy. She also a dedicated reacted harder to it than she special education teacher in the city and did, but I’m okay. Both boys has written several articles on travel, pol- are happy and doing very well itics, and media reviews. You are invited in school. They’ve learned to check out, comment and share her to take responsibility for their blogs on a variety of same-sex headed studies in a way they never family issues, raising her quirky, feminist would have otherwise. My children, and general philosophy of life wife lost 30 pounds and I’m at http://alirothlizzi.blogspot.com/?m=1. The family all wearing blue light glasses. writing a book. We revamped Photos courtesy of Ali Rothlizzi

Gay Parent Magazine-New York 2021-2022 Issue #19 www.gayparentmag.com 21 Above left photo: David backstage for his performance as Mary Sunshine. Above right photo: Faith, (here at age 12) at their annual Fairfield Farms fall sojourn. Below right photo: Iraina (here at age 17), after David has just fashioned her faux locks. and watched Finding Nemo to celebrate their ier." A few months later, Faith's mother first night as a family. In commemoration of that had another baby boy named Christian. night, David has a large Nemo tattoo on his left Tom and David got the call to see if they arm. were interested in taking Christian, and As life went on, David and Tom knew they of course they were. However, Christian wanted another child. Soon they were placed needed special medical care, due to his with a five week old baby boy, whom they were prematurity, and was in the hospital for told had no name or family. They named him months. After release, he would need Joseph Reign, but after two months, the ba- doctor appointments several times a by’s family did show up, with his name, Ricar- week. With Iraina in first grade and Faith do, and were very upset that he was placed in Preschool in New Jersey (and both in a two Daddy household. They petitioned men working) the family could not make the court to have Ricardo removed, and won. it all work, traveling back and forth. Later, another young infant boy (Jaden, 6 days Their social worker proposed a old) was placed with them and again they were solution, to find an interim foster place- told "don't worry there's no family for him." Da- ment for Christian in New York, who vid remembers that “For 7 months I carried could help with medical appointments. Jaden in the baby Bjorn. We were inseparable. Christian split time between the two And then, all at once, distant family showed homes for two years, during which time up and within 24 hours he was gone. The men the “interim” foster mom fell in love with were devastated after developing such a bond. Christian and petitioned to adopt him But, they were able to keep in touch with the herself. They went to court, and lost. haps most challenging accomplishment thus boy (now 10 yo), through his Aunt, who adopt- However, they remain very close with Christian far is his role as a father. At the end of 2015, ed him. and his mom and sister. Christian is now ten David and Tom separated. They went through A month after losing Jaden, the social years old and still calls David his Dad. The two what David describes as a "nuclear divorce” worker called again about a little girl named families have truly blended, spending holidays which didn’t end until the Summer of 2018. Faith. Still reeling from their previous loss, and family vacations together. David says "It They sold the house in New Jersey, David got David was very hesitant. But the social worker was heartbreaking, interesting, and in the end custody of the kids and moved to New York, promised him that this girl was freed for adop- rewarding to be part of the foster care system. and Tom moved back to Missouri. Then in Jan- tion. Faith was already 18 months old. They did You have to know that when they call you, it’s uary of 2019 Tom came back to New York for visitations, and overnights, and Faith came to always a roll-of-the-dice situation." Christian work as a stage director. After such a difficult live with them just two weeks before they were has another sister also named Faith which his divorce, David knew he had to teach the kids planning a move to Bloomfield, New Jersey adoptive mom, Amander, also adopted. Both that you can move on from bad situations and where they had just purchased a home. The Faiths are the same age, and are like twins. forgive, so he offered for Tom to stay with them social worker advised them to take Faith before Today, Iraina is 17 and Faith is 13 years until he could find a sublet. About two weeks they moved, because "the paperwork is eas- old. Without a doubt, David’s proudest and per- after Tom once again joined the family, he be- 22 www.gayparentmag.com Gay Parent Magazine-New York 2021-2022 Issue #19 came incredibly ill, “He always had tenuous health, as an HIV survivor, but this was different, more seri- ous.” Tom once again lived with David and the girls for the last nine months life, and passed away September 13, 2019. David recalls that “Between the divorce, Tom's death, and then the pandemic, things have been really hard.” But he also feels the pandemic has helped them to heal together as a family and process their feelings. “Being sequestered, just the three of us, we had no alternative but to look inward and process what had happened, as a family.” Though David's humility surrounding the situation is ev- ident, it is truly astonishing that he was able to forgive Tom, take him in, care for him, and show their children what com- passion and unconditional love looks like. David acknowledg- es that this lesson is one that he had hoped never to have to teach his children. But, it is one that will stay with them for the rest of their lives. Faith is now back to in-person school. Iraina is on track to graduate high school, and is excited to start college in the fall. David is excited for her to experience the independence that living away at college provides. And, while Iraina does share in David's passion for singing and is an amazing songwriter, David holding Bella their dog, with Faith and Iraina, on Fire Island in 2018. she is also interested in, and will be studying, Early Child De- over artist in such cartoons as Peter Pan and the Pirates for Fox TV, and velopment. Music will remain a passionate hobby, for which Dad is also Teacher's Pet for Disney. He is internationally known as a master-teach- grateful. Early on Faith developed a love for fine art, and is an amazing er in contemporary voice techniques and is one of twelve pedagouges painter. From as early as preschool, Faith has been an impressive artist, featured in “So You Want to Sing CCM” (2018, Rowman & Littlefield). but now aspires to be a Forensic Psychiatrist. “Two Smarties who ap- He was President of the New York Singing Teachers Association from preciate art? I must’ve done something right” laughs David. 2008-2014 and has been on the voice faculty of many distinguished David's brother Ernie Sabella and his wife Cheryl have been very universities. supportive, both emotionally and financially, as needed, during the pan- In 1995, David was diagnosed with HIV; when the HIV cocktail was demic, and in every sense of the word. Ernie Sabella is also an accom- still in early stages. When rehearsals for CHICAGO on Broadway be- plished actor, “the star of the family,” David says. Ernie is the voice of gan, he had just started the “cocktail” regime and was sick with medica- Pumbaa in The Lion King movies and Lion Guard TV series; was Leon tion side-effects. “I was green with toxicity during rehearsals. One day Carosi in Saved by the Bell (a personal favorite for my generation), and the stage manager sent me home and I slept for three days.” Somehow, has had many more achievements in television, movies, and decades he pushed through and was able to perform but recalls it was down to of Broadway shows. Ernie and Cheryl recently moved to Virginia but the the wire, whether or not he was going to be able to perform. Regarding brothers remain very close. his HIV status, he decided early on never to hide it, because it would Currently, David is teaching voice lessons online but throughout cause him more stress to keep it a secret, rather than be honest about it. most of 2020 work was very slow. Things started to pick up after the While he's honored and happy to have done this interview, David inauguration, and now his schedule is once again almost full. David also doesn't think of himself as a role model for gay parenting. In his mind co-authored a book with Sue Matsuki, "So You Want to Sing Cabaret" “Parenting is the only job you can fail at every day and never get fired." (2020, Rowman & Littlefield), and is also the Owner/Editor-in-Chief Cab- He goes on to say “It's not easy with two teenagers in a pandemic. It's aret Hotspot, an online magazine which includes Cabaret University, also not easy [as a white man] having two African American children, a learning annex for small venue performers, and Cabaret HotTrax, a trying to navigate, and keep them safe, through the Black Lives Matter digital marketplace for composers, lyricists, songwriters, and arrangers Movement. It’s never easy, but it’s worth it.” to sell their music. For more information visit David's websites, David Sabella has a certain humbleness and open honesty about www.sabellavoice.com and www.cabarethotspot.com. him that a person with or without all of his accomplishments can only David's career has been varied and vast, winning classical compe- hope to achieve. Parenting is showing up for your children day after titions and opera contracts to starring on Broadway as "Mary Sunshine" day, filling them with the tools they need to succeed, and supporting in "CHICAGO, the Musical," in which he performed from 1996 to late them no matter what. David most certainly fits that definition through 1998. He then went onto Las Vegas and joined the touring company and through. t of "CHICAGO,” where David's brother Ernie was also in the show. Per- forming together was great fun for the brothers. David was later asked to Deadra Albrecht-Frasch lives in the Chicagoland area with her wife reprise his role on Broadway as "Mary Sunshine” when Melanie Griffith Alice and twin daughters Shay and Devlin. Deadra has a degree in Psy- was set to star in the show. This time he stayed until 2004, when the chology from UNC-Charlotte and works in the healthcare field. In her joys (and rigors) of being a Dad made him realize “It was time to move free time she enjoys writing, and playing the piano and trumpet. on.” His last time on Broadway, in CHICAGO, was the 10th Anniversary Gala performance in 2006. Photos courtesy of David Sabella David has performed all over the world. He has worked as a voice- Gay Parent Magazine-New York 2021-2022 Issue #19 www.gayparentmag.com 23 24 www.gayparentmag.com Gay Parent Magazine-New York 2021-2022 Issue #19 www.colage.org