May Week Review 19 June 2003 Christopher Tidy

The region’s best guide to what’s on – see next Thursday’s Cambridge Evening News 19 June 2003 May Week Review A www.varsity.co.uk Mick Heyes May Week 02 Madness and messiness

Every year at around this time I find myself asking the same questions: why can’t Tim win Wimbledon, why does alcohol hurt so much and why didn’t I spend more of my time in the UL rather than in a dingy underground club? Another of my annual May Week mindsets is my Finesse Fantasy. Whilst imprisoning myself in the library for six weeks solid, I managed to construct wild illusions of myself floating around Trinity May Ball in the style of a Grecian goddess; making the boys crazy and the girls sick with envy. In reality, as I lurched and stumbled home, like a cow in the latter stages of BSE, wearing my date’s shoes and hitching my dress up above my knees, it occurred to me that I might be slightly delusional. What’s more striking though is how this kind of blind belief and optimism seems to permeate our culture. We live in a world where Darius can win fame and fortune, women aspire to the computer-enhanced images in their magazines and the winner of Big Brother is awarded twenty pages of tabloid coverage along with vast sums of money. It’s hard- ly surprising then that we tend to instil belief in our fantasies, despite our past fail- ures and awareness of our current situations. It all comes back to Tim really. Realistically I have about as much chance of holding up the men’s trophy as he does, yet this scrawny excuse for an international tennis player still manages to inspire hope in even the most cynical of British hearts, as reflected in the national press. The Guardian supplement rates Henman at a whopping 9/10, oh please, whilst the more realistic Ladbrokes pitches his chances at 10/1. Such is the bitter unpredictability of life. Perhaps in two weeks I’ll be eating my words. Or perhaps it doesn’t really mat- ter and, like the calculation of odds, it’s all academic anyway. Who cares if Henman wins or not, or if I fulfil my inner fantasy? In a moment of pop-philosophy I find myself thinking that the outcome is irrelevant, it’s means rather than ends, innit. People all over the country get off on watching reality TV and sporting competitions with British hopefuls, and hoping one day it ‘could be them’; I had the time of my This week Varsity is brought to life at Trinity, and I’m utterly convinced I had some ‘goddess moments’ somewhere. May Week is the ultimate time for living out and living in your fantasies. The point is you by the letters E and D and to concentrate on making the most of it, enjoying the moments as they happen rather than sticking to a stringent plan. Loosing sight of your goals isn’t necessarily the number 19 a bad thing. Photos by Naaman Tammuz Editors Emma Charlton and Dan Cliffe Ball breaking buzz [email protected] Business Manager It seems that Varsity’s article last week on breaking Tim Nixon into May Balls inspired a few people to try their [email protected] luck and have a go themselves. Technical Director Varsity sadly cannot take all the blame for these fiascos. Tim Harris Not even the cream of Cambridge journalistic talent could have Company Secretary come up with some of the dirty rotten tricks seen around Pat Dalby colleges this week. Team Multitaskers Everyone has heard the tall tales of audacious Maziyar Hariri, Phil Richardson, break-ins, the urban legends involving full dry suits and Chris Tidy, Tom Walters scuba gear, like Arnie in True Lies, or sometimes even Subeditors a carefully aimed parachute jump. To my knowl- Laura Hodson and Sara Penn edge no one has pulled a stunt like this to get Cartoonists into a ball, at least not this year. The gatecrashers Dan Archer and Mick Heyes of Cambridge prefer to use methods of pure Special thanks to finesse. Take the group of girls at John’s Ball on Tamsin Blow Tuesday night. The doormen at John’s were met by 2 girls decked out in full dress branded by a well-known smoothie manufacturer and were wheeling a large card- board box. They said they were there to deliver a last If you would like to contribute to Varsity, minute batch of drinks to one of the bars inside the ball. please email a section editor at the Of course they were complete impostors trying to get a address on the respective page. free night out. The one hitch in their plan was that just behind the door, protected by the bouncers, was a flight of stairs and their box was far too heavy to carry by hand. Varsity is published by Varsity It’s no surprise really that when the guards decided to take a look in the box they were Publications Ltd and printed by greeted by three more girls neatly packed in, wearing full evening outfits. What is it Cambridge Evening News. All copy- about May Balls that makes people go to such lengths to get in? The free flowing alco- right is the exclusive property of Varsity hol, the headline acts or as much hog roast as you can manage? No, it’s the buzz of Publications Ltd. No part of this publi- walking around an event knowing that everyone else there has forked out, saved up or cation may be reproduced, stored in a sold an organ for the exact same privilege to you are enjoying for free. As the smooth- retrieval system or transmitted in any ie girls showed, it’s not an easy buzz to obtain and even the best-laid plans can go form or by any means, without the wrong. Nice try though, and better luck next year. prior permission of the publisher. Editorial A May Week Review 19 June 2003 www.varsity.co.uk Ballfest Tim Nixon introduces this year’s array of reviews Queues Food Drink Value for Money Headline Act Comments Well ladies and gentlemen, May their balls in just two days. With 3,600 Diablo 6 6 7 8 Big Brovaz Nice to get out of Cambridge week 2003 is drawing to a close. tickets available on one Saturday night, Emmanuel 6 9 9 8 Timmy Mallett Down the rabbit hole As I write Tit hall, King’s and people feared bankruptcy. I hope no one Homerton 10 9 7 9 Tributes Galore A small but shiny ball Magdalene are still going strong, pointed out to them that this Monday Jesus 7 9 8 7 Terri Walker Good college feel and Corpus is gearing up for saw four balls in Cambridge, which sold King’s 7 4 5 6 DJ Hype Banging Friday night, but otherwise the in excess of 5,200 tickets. We’re talking Magdalene 7 8 8 6 Blazin’ Squad Pepysian? champagne has been drunk, the a minimum of 1,500 bottles of bubbly, New Hall 8 N/A 7 8 Blak Twang Good comeback hog roast devoured and the 20,000 bottles of beer and at least four Queens’ 9 7 7 8 Terri Walker Sheer fun queues have been queued. For whole pigs. Cambridge knows how to do Robinson 8 8 7 9 Athlete Poor old Lord Whitmore some of you this will be third (or balls in style. 3 8 9 8 Queuetastic -needs stamina fourth) time around, for others In fact in total you’ve spent more than St John’s Mint Royale you hopefully now know what £1.2m on over 13,500 tickets, but while a Trinity 7 9 9 9 Supergrass Pure class everyone else has been talking lucky few will have gone for a heartily rec- Trinity Hall 7 6 7 8 Space Where is Pat’s jacket? about since Fresher’s week. ommended Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday journalists out to almost every event over like to thank the Committees of Corpus, If further evidence was needed of the treble, others might be wondering just the last six days with the brief to ferret out Diablo, Emmanuel, Homerton, Jesus, massive inferiority of our friends in the what all the fireworks were about. the truth from amongst the vodka luges, John’s, King’s, Magdalene, Queens’, ‘other place’ we need look no further than To give you an idea of what worked bouncy castles and bucking broncos. To Robinson, Trinity and Trinity Hall for gen- our ball timetable. While Oxford tends to well, which committees ‘dropped the ball,’ help give some kind of comparison we’re erously allowing our reviewers entrance space their balls out in a pathetic mincing where you should go next year and to also rating each ball on four criteria: value to their balls. fashion, we have all of ours in one week. help fill in any memory blanks, Varsity for money; drink; food; queues and outlin- And in preparation for next year also In fact there was massive drama at brings a you a review of this year’s best ing their headlining acts. to say – come on Clare, you’re the odd Oxford this year when 6 colleges planned balls and events. We sent loyal Varsity On behalf of everyone at Varsity I’d one out. The aftermath

Photos by Chris Tidy Chris Photos by 03 19 June 2003 May Week Review A www.varsity.co.uk Debauchery and decadence

St John’s May Ball Secrecy concerning the programme Tori Flower and Katy Long had led many to wonder who would top 04 The best thing about reviewing the entertainment bill, and rumours of John’s Ball? Sweeping past the Coldplay circulated through the queue. Eaden Lilley queue stretching half way down Despite no mention in the programme the Trinity Street and finding our way hopeful were still holding out for a Big straight to the champagne. Name Act even as late as midnight, but For the less fortunate, the wait for this didn’t materialise, leaving John’s with- food, drink and entertainment would be at out a real focal point to the night. Yet if the least a further two and a half hours in what Ball suffered from a lack of a central stage, was probably the worst queue of May Mint Royale filled in the gap admirably, Week. But the verdict once inside was while The Herbaliser played a good set unanimous: it was well worth the wait. into the early hours of the morning, If first impressions count, the decor at guests forgetting dinner jackets and full John’s was stunning. Huge silk screens length gowns as they danced. The only were one of the few passing references to problem was it was all over far too soon, the night’s Japanese theme, but it was as the event lost steam around the 4am the Lily-bedecked Bridge of Sighs that mark, leaving many looking at their watch- stole the show. Simple lighting set the es and heading for bed instead of the sur- scene to perfection. The only incongruous vivors’ photo. notes were the green lasers in First Court; It is inevitable that John’s and Trinity what were they for? are subject to endless comparisons by It was impossible not to be impressed those lucky enough to be able to go to by the pure extravagance of punts filled both. We can’t comment, but among the with Champagne bottles, and the discov- crowd the general verdict (on the fire- ery of a gin-and-tonic tent was a further works at least), was that John’s had bonus. The drink was still flowing at dawn, proved itself to be “better than Trinity”. On and there was no skimping on the quality; the night, though, the competition luxury was certainly the theme of the seemed irrelevant: it was a fabulous night. The food was as plentiful as the evening in its own right. For, however drink, and the queues moved fast, but extravagant a £105 a ticket might be, if despite some of the bast waffles ever you’re going to “do” a Mayball, you might tasted, most of the dishes on offer were as well do it properly. And John’s certain- adequate rather than awe-inspiring. ly did that.

Magdalene May Ball bar a poetry reciting Pepys imperson- Martin Hemming and Becki Pollard ator nor refreshments. As he slipped into his tails Once we were finally allowed in, and white tie and waistcoat, she one and a half hours after the adver- her ankle-length dress, silk tised start time, the college’s attrac-

gloves and spike-heeled shoes, tively lit gardens offered a welcoming Martin Hemming ominous dark clouds gathered spectacle. We were dry (thankfully) in the Cambridge sky. This did- but a little chilly, so decided to warm n’t bother them too much. ourselves with a no doubt ludicrously They were full of expectation before expensive flute of champagne, before their visit to Magdalene’s biennial ball diving into posh cheeses, mineral to end all balls. They’d perused the waters and wines. This was more like promotional literature, discovering that it. But were donuts and candyfloss they were to be joining in with the ter- part of a Pepysian England? centenary celebrations of the death of The site did seem a little sparse the college’s seventeenth century while half of the ballgoers dined early, alumnus Samuel Pepys. but soon filled up after the second sit- The menu promised sumptuous- ting. Sadly, the admittedly exotic sec- ness in all its five-course glory. Guinea ond dining sitting didn’t finish until fowl with juniper juice and summer 2am, meaning that many missed the vegetables were followed by first few numbers of the performance Champagne jelly. Coffee and petit of those archetypal 17th scallywags fours helped guests to quell their Blazin’ Squad (no, seriously). They hunger and was followed by yet more were however, surprisingly good, and food in the form of port and cheese. offered a bit of a light relief from the There was to be none of that horri- much of the stuffiness and serious- ble, typical student fare of cheesy, ness of the rest of the ball. Hard to tacky excess that the other Cambridge dance to this music in tails and waist- balls offer. In its place, a ball evoking coat though. Pepys’ England. Overall, it seemed that the money He made jokes about plague doc- had gone towards wines with names, tors and great fires. She told him to and cheeses with grapes, and R’n’B shut up, saying, I don’t think that’s acts with far too many members. If what they mean, darling. She was just you want to wine and dine and dance hoping it didn’t rain. But what exactly Magdalene’s a good option. did they mean? If you’re spending a small fortune Well, the promised “glamour of the on your annual ball ticket, for some- Restoration” was hardly in evidence where a bit more fun, we can think of as we queued for what seemed like two obvious candidates. Magdalene (and probably was) an age against a just doesn’t threaten Trinity or John’s red brick wall on Chesterton Lane, on this count. In fact it has quite a way with no entertainment to sustain us to go. At least it didn’t rain. Reviews A May Week Review 19 June 2003 www.varsity.co.uk Dancing Queens’ and Diablo

Diablo possible including a pair of Jedi and some of Life was also present to provide food, Tom Walters bizarre Renaissance cross-dressing. throughout the night, albeit with prices 40p Organising a large dance-based The four dance floors were well-used, higher than when they’re in the Market event in a venue ten miles from the but never felt overcrowded. The acts were Square. Drinks too were overpriced for a city was an ambitious but ulti- generally impressive. Big Brovaz and student event with a Smirnoff Ice weighing mately successful plan. Chesney Hawkes were both favourites in at a hefty £2.50. With tickets at £37 and For early travellers the buses ran very with the crowd and Mint Royale performed drinks at that price, the overall expenditure smoothly with no wait to speak of at a beautiful hour-long set. However, a few for the night for many must have been either end. However, those leaving billed acts were notable by their absence. nearing that of one of the cheaper balls. Cambridge later had to contend with a There was no sign of Punjabi MCs - even Although the side attractions left a little badly-policed line on Parker’s Piece on the programme given out on entry. to be desired, Diablo was an enjoyable which was open to queue jumping. The comedy tent was the only properly night with some great acts and an excel- ‘Dress to Impress’ was interpreted in seated area in the event, which was a wel- lent atmosphere. The dancefloors were some wldly different styles. People’s out- come place to stop after four hours danc- still thronged with happy dancers at 5am

fits encompassed just about everything ing. Much to everyone’s delight, the Trailer as the sun rose. Walters Tom

Queens’ May Ball vides a particularly good location for a Week - girls in fabulous ball dresses trying despite the presence of oysters and Becky Burton and Reggie Vettasseri ball due to its amazing potential for vari- to retain their dignity whilst being cata- some excellent cocktails the majority of The tourist guides tell you that ety. This potential was expertly used to pulted thirty feet in the air by the ‘Flex ‘n’ the food and drink was more bread and one of the greatest things about the full by this year’s ball committee. Fly’ ride. The list could go on. You’ll be butter than strawberries and cream, wandering through Cambridge is Enter into the first court and you find halfway through the evening, hideously exemplified by the stall which offered the way in which behind their yourself limbo dancing your way towards drunk and two dress sizes bigger, and you bread and butter alone. Likewise, with walls each college seems to form the first row of drinks. After riding the surf still won’t have found the main music tent. Terri Walker as their main act, Queens’ a tiny enclosed world. simulator you find yourself in the Mexican Add to this multitude of entertainments, lacked a big headline name. However, Each has its own unique atmosphere area. Turn around and you can be gorging the relative lack of queues, and Queens’ whilst true decadence is the preserve of and its own unique sense of place. So it yourself on oysters and sparkling wine has really created the party atmosphere the biggest balls, they by no means have is that, even when May Week comes and whilst listening to classical music. Get up the ninetieth anniversary committee have a monopoly on what really matters - fun. the colleges are transformed for the vari- again and you find yourself in the middle of been striving for. It was here that Queens’ really succeed- ous competing balls, no two events ever a mock medieval fight. Try and find a quiet In terms of sheer lavishness a ball like ed. Even when chatting to the most ball- have quite the same feel. The best play to corner and you find yourself attended by Queens’ will of course never be able to hardened May Week veterans, we never the strengths of their particular location. hand masseurs. Wander some more and compete with the likes of Trinity or met a disappointed person. In the words With numerous relatively small you are in a fairground witnessing one of John’s. There was a fantastic fireworks of fourth year reveller Iain Hollingshead, courts, lawns and halls, Queens’ pro- those remarkable sights peculiar to May display to rival the best of them, yet ‘It was the best Ball I ever paid for.’ 05 19 June 2003 May Week Review A www.varsity.co.uk A double act of pure class Trinity May Ball Oliver Duff and Luke Layfield 06 Last year was considered a bit of an année terrible by Trinity May Ball stan- dards. Headline act the Fun Lovin’ JET Photographic Criminals didn’t show up. Supplies of drink and food ran low - even the fabled never-ending champagne ran out at an early stage. To top things off guests were drenched by the mother of all thunder- storms in the early hours. And so ballgo- ers’ expectations this year were high: how would the 2003 Committee bounce back? They certainly could not afford sim- ilar bad luck and mistakes. But bounce back they did, and it was a recovery astonishing in its conviction and splendour. Barely a detail seemed to have gone by uncovered. The problems last year with food and drinks seem to have been rectified. From the sumptuous oysters and the cheeses available early on through fairground food, from a ball of this pedigree. Classical to strut their stuff by dawn, The Fitz radic. A suggestion for next year would paella, ciabatta, chilli and the outdoor grill to musicians and choristers joined firejug- Swing Band were willing to wow. be more rubbish bins, as it was sad to a continental or full English breakfast glers in distracting guests during the So what of the lowlights amid the see so much litter destroying the other- before the survivors’ photo, the range and queue. The fireworks were excellent. extravagance? Among them had to be wise splendid surroundings and décor. quality was comprehensive, catered to suit Headliners Supergrass were awesome, the bowel-stirring ‘hypnotism’ of May But the atmosphere was cheery and all tastes. Even the most refined palate living up to their reputation as a great live Ball slag/veteran Stuart Ashing, “invited the weather gorgeous. The biggest could not have failed to be impressed by act, and really rocking the crowd. What back again and again by popular accolade we can pay the ball commit- the beverages on offer; those of us who else was going on for those who don’t request,” he informed us, four times. tee is that for those who left disap- are less fussy even more so. like their pop or rock? Funk. Afro Jazz. Hopefully his unethusiastic reception pointed it can only be because they And so on to the entertainment. Again Reggae. Classical. Dancesport. HipHop. will prevent a repeat next year. didn’t have the hours to do everything the array was what you would hope for Salsa. Blues. And for those still wanting Footlights comedy was surprisingly spo- they wanted to.

Vibrate @ New Hall might have been, the inexplicable Sunday 15th June draw of the sweatiest night in the his- For many who had seen the adver- tory of Life must be blame. But for tising campaign and “Needed those that did venture up the hill, it Finishing Off” on Suicide Sunday, was well worth it. Vibrate was the best possible way Estelle and Blak Twang’s sets were to end the sultry day. It provided a awesome and really got the crowd Photos by Malika Worrall Malika Photos by welcome alternative to blazered going, throughout a set that lasted drinking-society boys and repeats of well over two hours. The third room, That Song by R-Kelly. featuring Cambridge celebs Get the The billed line-up had a lot of poten- Wow had a constantly good vibe and tial (with Blak Twang, Estelle, The kept people grooving till the close. Mixologist and some of Cambridge’s New Hall may not enjoy the best finest DJs promised) and the price was reputation in certain spheres of reasonable, especially in comparision Cambridge life, but Vibrate 2003 to other similar events this May Week. proved they know how to throw a The reality of the event was no dis- good party. With the decline in popu- appointment. It was evident that a lot larity of King’s events, New Hall looks of effort had gone into the night: the set to rival the college that has provid- college had obviously worked hard to ed the tunes for the cool kids of regain the good name that Vibrate had Cambridge without challenge for the enjoyed in previous years. The newly past few years. Vibrate was a refresh- –refurbished Dome was impressive ing night at the end of an oppressively and if it wasn’t as packed out as it humid day. Reviews A May Week Review 19 June 2003 www.varsity.co.uk Ice, Ice Baby or 80 Days?

Jesus May Ball mer has to be a challenge for even the The music for the event had been cho- reviewed by Navin Sivanandam most enthusiastic ‘Changing Rooms’ fan. sen with care. The headline act Terri As one of the handful of col- However, with some understated and Walker gave a charming and dynamic per- leges with an annual ball Jesus is well thought–out design Jesus managed formance; however, the undisputed high- in an awkward position. to create the appropriate wintry feel. Ice light was Nizlopi in the Chill Out tent, an Competing with John’s and Trinity isn’t sculptures dotted the court, with the amazing duo of voice and double bass. an option, and yet the beautiful grounds centrepiece being a miniature replica of Food and drink were excellent: the and expansive setting demand a similar the Jesus horse. Elsewhere, lighting and Smirnoff Ice held out for the most of level of extravagance. Faced with this fixtures augmented the cool feel. the evening and a smart layout quandry the ball committee this year cre- The ice theme was also evident in some ensured there was little queuing, even ated an elegant but, in some ways, sub- of the evening’s entertainment. The feature for the midnight hog roast. dued affair. attraction was the ‘ice rink’ - a low friction However, the only important ques- After being distracted by some excel- polymer” rink. In principle this is a fantastic tion a reviewer needs to ask is: ‘Was it lent queuing canapés, we entered the Ball gimmick. It fits with theme and is both fun?’ My answer to that is: “Yes, but...” Ball through a screen of bubbles into the sophisticated and fun. However, in practice Despite being full of happy faces, this central ‘Northern Lights’ area. Putting on the experience didn’t quite gel with what still felt like a college ball – a ball only if an ice–themed ball in the middle of sum- we saw elsewhere on the night. shared with a hoard of friends. Kate Wilford

Homerton May Ball emulate the larger balls. This night it real- The ‘Around the World in 80 days’ bigger balls could learn. reviewed by Saalim Chowdhury ly worked for them. theme was well implemented around the The night went off without a hitch. Food Homerton’s last ball was remem- There were no big names, but the ball college, with the Hot Air Balloon providing was available in abundance and of a high bered for its unplanned ‘Pav’ may- didn’t need it. When I read through the stunning views of the wide variety of standard. However, the drink lacked vari- hem and associated goings on, programme, I was perturbed at seeing a entertainments provided. The college ety, as, except for the champagne recep- rather than the entertainments or list of three tribute bands as headline acts. looked wonderful. You couldn’t help but tion, the main drinks available were pints or the experience of the revellers. Normally when I hear the words ‘tribute trip over a different activity or entertain- mixers. The revellers didn’t seem to mind. I didn’t really know what to expect. The band’, I think of a few hairy old guys ment everywhere you went. Just walking and remained chilled long into the night. tickets were £75, and the college isn’t par- who’ve bought the songbook, and can just around the college you were absorbed by The energy of the ball-goers was the ticularly rich, so I couldn’t expect a John’s about hold a note. These artists were dif- the open-air performances. In keeping only thing to run out all evening. The quirk or Trinity style affair. Thankfully they didn’t ferent – they sounded fantastic. In particu- with the international theme of the event, of the night was the FT at the end of the try to do this. lar Queen B, and Big 10 - Queen and there was a welcome lack of queuing. evening, which for the most benevolent of Unlike many of the other balls that work Madness tribute bands respectively - put Apart from getting in, rarely did I have to Cambridge colleges seems a little peculiar. to a tight budget, Homerton seemed to their audiences into a mild frenzy on the queue for longer than two to three min- Would the Guardian or Telegraph have realise their limitations, and tried not to main stage. utes. This is something from which the been more appropriate? 07 Careers Service

Summer Recruitment Event Wednesday 25th June HOWARD BUILDING 2.00pm – 5.00pm DOWNING COLLEGE

Meet employers who still have vacancies for their Autumn 2003 intake, while enjoying a glass of wine and some strawberries.

Also take the opportunity to speak to one of our Careers Advisors, on hand for brief consultations all afternoon.

Cambridge University Careers Service, Stuart House, Mill Lane, Cambridge www.careers.cam.ac.uk 19 June 2003 May Week Review A www.varsity.co.uk Murder mystery wonderland

Robinson May Ball Photographic JET beverages left after about 3:00 am Jamie Douglass and Jonny Mather tasted similar to meths but weren’t 08 The queuing system for quite as easy on the throat; the queue Decorum?, the Robinson May for breakfast reminded me of the Ball, did not inspire confidence. scenes in Basra when the first aid Not the queue for the Ball itself – we agencies arrived, and there had been a subsequently discovered that they’d spectacular cock-up in the production roped in a lot of workers in 1920s cos- of the map meaning that you had to tume, not to mention a spattering of clas- have a miner’s lamp strapped to your sic cars and one of the best close-up forehead and a degree in orienteering magicians I’ve seen for some time, and just to find out where the nearest toilet got everyone into the ball in under one was. hour – but the queue to get the tickets. It Nevertheless this was a terrific ball seemed that the committee had decided and, with tickets costing just £73, ter- that they only wanted really dedicated rific value. These days £73 buys you a guests. If you didn’t want a ticket enough meal for two at a distinctly average to queue for the duration of a short war, restaurant or a ticket to a football or the span of a girl band’s career, then match. At Decorum? it bought you nine you weren’t coming in. Although their hours of great indulgence and fantastic efforts to give away the 15,000 chocolate entertainment. The committee invited bars that were the unfortunate result of a us to indulge in the Gosford Park- decimal point catastrophe ensured no inspired theme of the twilight years of one dropped dead of hunger. England’s aristocracy ‘as the sun sinks All of this didn’t matter much. May selves. The college is large enough to Just as Cambridge balls are similar, on a golden era’. They delivered what Balls are - by their very nature - fairly support a huge variety of entertain- they are also, by definition, amateur in they had promised with great aplomb similar. The quality of the acts might not ment, which there was, and still remain their organisation, but are usually very and, as the sun rose on the lawns of be guaranteed by the ticket price, but inclusive in a way that the sheer area of impressive events despite this. Robinson, there was not a disappoint- the success of the evening depends far larger colleges makes impossible. A lot Unfortunately this means that minor ed guest in sight. And none of us had more on atmosphere than on gimmick- of creative effort had gone into the irritations are inevitable, and Robinson been murdered with the candlestick in ry. This year, Robinson excelled them- décor and layout. was no different: the only alcoholic the drawing room.

Trinity Hall May Ball ing out frenetic breaks over funky enchanting and the general feeling was that the event offered, it was an enjoy- Rowan Huppert Ali Blackmore beats exciting the crowd with its inces- warm and comforting with friendly faces able, if limited, party, the bargain price As a reviewing pair consisting of sant rhythm. Then, following the everywhere. The food wasn’t great and helping to remove the pressure felt by a a May Week virgin and a Ball veter- event’s theme of Déjà Vu, the spotlight the variety was a little lacklustre but then large investment in a major ball ticket. an this SuperSava event left us with shone on ex-Fun house star Pat Sharp, at £42 it’s hardly fair to expect a three The music was one area of the differing impressions of the night. now sadly lacking a mullet and the orig- course meal. There were also a wide evening which was pleasingly varied, Compared with its more expensive, inal twins, Melanie and Martina who, variety of other entertainments including with a second stage showcasing live slicker cousins, this production was lack- according to Sharp, are ‘busy lezzing-it- an inflatable boxing ring with as many garage and house artists including the ing the variety and quality of entertain- up together, which is what twin sisters people scrapping around the ring as two step masters MJ Cole and Karl ‘Tuff ments and hospitality on offer. However, do’. Audience participation and enthusi- going head-to-head inside the ropes. The Enuff’ Brown. In the dining hall cum had a very enjoyable atmosphere. asm reached a dizzying height, much to ice cream was a welcome refreshment dance hall the intense African rhythms of The headline act, Space, are a the reviewers displeasure. This culmi- as were the drinks, although again the Cambridge based Shakere were mixed decent band with a sizeable following nated in the theft of an original Fun variety was narrow. with local Tit Hall favourites Afrodisiac, but aren’t in the same league as House jacket belonging to one of the Compared with other May week providing sufficient musical mastery to Trinity’s Supergrass and top bands at replacement twins, apparently one of events the atmosphere was definitely please the punters. other major balls. They were supported only two jackets left. more subdued and the absence of black All in all, pretty good as an event, but on the main stage by the James Taylor As a May Week virgin the setting was tie gave the proceedings a far more it would have been decidedly thin for a Quartet, a Cambridge favourite, throw- quite breath-taking, the lighting was casual feel. Given the value for money ball, but then you get what you pay for.

Emmanuel May Ball Tom Walters tivities also seemed slightly too large; Tom Ebbutt and Tom Walters most people seemed to congregate out The undoubted success of ‘Funk by the duck ponds and other areas Da Bar’ at Emma this year has remained far quieter throughout the placed it firmly at the centre of evening, particularly the Court of the the Wednesday night of many a King and Queen of Hearts. Cambridge student; and the sur- Considering Emma’s reputation the prising early sell-out of the musical offering would have perhaps College’s re-awakened May Ball been expected to include at least a few must be put down part to this notable names, but those who came inflated reputation. for this would not have been sated. Though the absence of ents guru Though the lack of a big headline act Jack Melhuish from the ball committee was noticeable, and was probably may have set alarm bells ringing in some deliberate, what they did have was quarters, for most of the revellers who largely high quality; the ‘Dark Forest’ queued among the barber shop choris- bar’s offering in particular seemed to ters and the hail of jelly beans the be a perfect pitch. expectation was of nothing but the best evening was certainly a welcome addi- However, there were unfortunately Though perhaps there could have from the ‘Wonderland’ that was to await tion, as was the early-morning ice skat- some things that did rankle a touch, the been more attractions, the layout could them once they entered via a sub- ing which was surprisingly satisfying size of the queues being the main area have been condensed the overall result Emmanuel Street ‘rabbit hole’. after a few beers. The food was stom- that will require attention next time was one that pleased. The theme And for a first attempt in four years ach pleasing and varied, the 4am bacon around. The wait for food and attrac- worked, the food and drink flowed there were undoubted highs – the rolls were particularly well-received, tions on the rear lawn was sometimes freely and the entertainment was what drink - in variety, quantity and availabil- and the Casino as always was a wel- stupendous, notably for the hog roast is wanted on such occasions. Once ity - cannot have failed to please and come descent into everyone’s Las and, perhaps more understandably, the refined it should be make wonderful the appearance of Timmy Mallet mid- Vegas fantasy. Motorball. The area given over to fes- addition to Cambridge’s May Week. Reviews A Editor: Jo Kirkbride May Week Review 19 June 2003 www.varsity.co.uk We got rhythm, we got music Selwyn shows the rest how May Week concerts should be done, writes Jonny Sells

I have a thing against May Week promised never quite broke out. Waltham- concerts. They are often last Smith’s militarily-commanded forces minute, thrown-together jobs that seemed well-drilled, but in the end were a have a token viola player as the sole little too dinner-jacketed. representative of the host college. Finzi’s Eclogue for piano and strings The same old instrumentalists get a was a good balance for the generally light bit of sight-reading practice, the fare in the programme. The deceptive dif- conductors get a cheap ego-boost, ficulty of this tender piece was manifested and everyone goes away feeling by some interesting string tuning and that they would rather have just ensemble. The decision to place the piano been sitting in the sun. behind the strings was not a good one, but Fortunately, Selwyn’s offering was dif- Tim Morgan’s expressive range of gestures ferent. Although it was obvious that some made for some affecting moments. essential hard-graft fixing had gone on, this The finale of the programme - concert was above all a showcase for Shostakovich’s second Jazz Suite conduct- Selwyn’s considerable home-grown talent. ed by Alex Soddy - contained the most First up was Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake enjoyable music. Soddy, along with all the Suite, conducted by Mark Galtry, whose conductors here, could have benefited swashbuckling style drew great expres- from a podium, but as the piece pro- sion from the strings, although there gressed he relaxed and struggled less to was a touch too much of the bullwhip surmount the orchestra. He produced about it as the Valse rose to its climax. impressively-tight brass articulation and

The acoustics of Selwyn’s hall occasion- Archive Varsity drew the long waltz melodies from the ally meant that the excitable percussion scrutiny of chamber music, and the any joy. The more touching moments, strings with satisfying shape. Apart from section were a little overbearing, but it Andante con moto was spoiled by some however, were well-judged. the rather ramshackle percussion section was mostly aided by some finely- careless playing. Massey took this move- Milhaud’s irreverent combination of this piece and conductor drew the best sketched woodwind articulation. ment with a little more moto than I thought Brazilian dances in Le Boeuf sur le Toit uses playing from the orchestra. Ensemble was Patrick Massey was both sensitive and was necessary to do justice to its sweet, very imaginative orchestral colours and not always secure, especially at the pull- flexible in his conducting of Dvorak’s Wind lilting character, and conversely was con- humorous bitonal melody as weapons ups, and perhaps a little more dynamic Serenade, forced to cope with the contro- servative with his tempo in the Allegro against its monotonous rhythms and struc- contrast would have aided the regular versial gazumping of a contrabassoon by molto. Although perhaps restricted by ture. This piece came off less well partly dance forms, but the massive sound of the JCMS. Unfortunately, the individual play- technical considerations, his interpretation because its length far exceeded its con- orchestra was pleasingly harnessed to pro- ers came across less well under the closer of this difficult piece lacked any daring and tent, and partly because the riot that it vide a most rousing finale. 09 Graduation Pictures win £25 instantly! Your personal entry ticket will be in your pigeon hole in June

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The London Cuckolds Ned Ramble with a gloriously comic ADC reviewed by Laura Ashe nervous energy, to which Seaton 10 Restoration comedy comes with Gordon’s amorous drunkard provides a its own advantages and pitfalls, suavely humorous foil. The cast were and stands or falls on the mostly strong, although at the dress strength - and particularly the rehearsal I attended, there were still energy - of the cast. some serious line-learning issues. Andrew Ormerod’s production bene- The London Cuckolds comes to life fits from a perfect setting, and the play with the sequences at the centre of has been given something of a facelift in the lovers’ intrigues, with the various Alistair Nunn’s adaptation. Once the lovers threatened and cuckolds humili- rather perfunctory set-up of a trio of ated in increasingly ridiculous fashion; husbands, wives and would-be lovers Alistair Nunn’s turn in drag may justify has been established, the pace picks up the price of the ticket alone. Not a play and with it, the humour. The charmingly to come to for subtle humour or psy- excessive costumes suit the egregious- chological depth - and its commentary ly camp atmosphere, and as the charac- on the sexes is appreciably seven- ters warm into their roles the inter- teenth-century - it promises a diverting changes begin to show real spark. Amy summer evening’s entertainment, and Noble stands out as Arabella, raising her is to be recommended. character above the realms of caricature ADC Garden Show proffered her by the script, to create a Westcott House charming, sexy and determined heroine. Jesus Lane Joe Marsh animates his luckless rake 18-21 June, 7:15pm

Non-Sexual Kissing to a pathetic Saturday-night loner. The sim- angst-ridden yet recognisable lives. The ADC reviewed by Zubin Mistry ply effective stage is complemented smart- able, flexible cast manage more than Non-Sexual Kissing is a post-hang- ly by a slick projection of an ongoing film capably in playing the variegated lot. Jot, over antidote of sorts, offering from a handheld camera, complementing, in particular, is outstanding, ranging in his respite through its endearing mis- introducing and re-introducing the various roles from the nervously enervated fits steeped in the blackest of homes; for instance, while several charac- Jeremy, manically preparing for an audi- comedy. ters come to comfort and console the geri- tion, to the archetypal dinner party ponce, This craftily-scripted Footlights piece atric Mr. Hedges, a projection of an apple- stealing the laughs of other guests. managed to charm an audience in the munching, cigarette-rolling old man beams Altogether, the darkness and depres- sweltering ADC for two hours through out without a smile. And it works a treat, sion of Non-Sexual Kissing is, strangely, a the subtlety of its style and the stamina not only functionally, as a filler for scene welcome bout of escapism from the gar- of its actors. changes, but generally in keeping with the ish glare of summer skirts spilled with Non-Sexual Kissing, whose title perhaps slightly surreal or at least quirky tone. The Pimms. Yet, vitally, this darkness is attenu- refers obliquely to something at the close, music in between and occasionally during ated by the trickle of optimism, stemming loosely connects the strands of the stories scenes is equally peculiar. not only from the comedy, but also from of various characters in a block of flats, who Trite as it sounds, the pervading the title itself and the abstruse but range from antagonistic, spitting school- emphasis is on anxieties: the fragmenta- prospective closure. boys to an amusingly (and brutally) honest tion of relationships, infidelity, loneliness ADC Theatre couple, from an old invalid on his last legs and all the other accoutrements of our 13-19 June, 7:45pm

Pride and Prejudice Bennett. All in all, sitting in the sun- Love’s Labour’s Lost presenting the roles of Boyet and Duke reviewed by Ashleigh Coleman shine watching the play was a very reviewed by Helene Williamson Amardo respectively with both enor- Having to get out of bed the day pleasant way to spend the afternoon The Pembroke Players’ produc- mous verve and likeability, which after my May Ball to go and see and the only thing that might have tion of the difficult Love’s extends beyond the text’s two-dimen- Pride and Prejudice felt at first made it more worth getting out of bed Labour’s Lost is ambitious and sionality of the more serious roles. The like more of a chore than it for would have been if they could have frothy in equal measure, set in leads Ben McLelland and Julia Clarke are turned out to be. figured out a way to add in the scene the 1930s and billed as a both touching and the most musically-

Despite the occasional sense that with Mr Darcy in his wet shirt. Shakespearean musical. Zarif Jabber, [email protected] the whole thing had been hastily Fellows Garden, Downing College The bizarre transposition of the most thrown together with somewhat 16-19 June, 3pm ‘conventional’ sixteenth-century comedy makeshift costumes and frequent to the world of brash show tunes works stumbling over lines, the cast made surprisingly well, and co-director James the most of the beautiful setting of Topham is to be congratulated on this Downing Fellow’s Garden and deliv- intriguing juxtaposition. ered a thoroughly enjoyable perform- The cast are for the most part ance of the Jane Austen classic. extremely gifted and cope well with the Sitting on garden benches among the distinct demands of outdoor trees, it was easy for the few who Shakespeare and musical theatre. turned up to watch to really get into Occasionally, the staging and dancing the feel of the play and appreciate the lets this ambitious vision down, but the scenes both on stage and off, which energy and sensitivity of the cast and could easily have been mistaken for a Simon Temple’s engaging musical direc- able members of the cast, giving the pro- period garden party. The only draw- tion of the production ultimately ensure duction a lyricism which extends far back of the setting was that the lack of that the audience is swept along. beyond the slightly gimmick-based con- wings meant that the movement of The play’s combination of low-comedy cept. Overall neither a brilliant piece of the actors offstage often distracted caricature and more emotionally-sophisti- Shakespeare nor a fabulous musical, but the audience. The acting, however, cated aristocratic characters is brought to an excellent combination of the two, was strong enough to ensure the dis- the fore by the strict division of the cast. light-hearted and supported by a talented tractions did not divert the audience The characterised roles are more than cast and strong directorial vision. entirely, with particularly good rendi- mere comic relief and James Croft and Pembroke College

tions of Elizabeth Bennett and Mrs Archives Varsity Joe Swarbrick in particular succeed in 13-17 June, 3pm Reviews A Editor Jo Kirkbride May Week Review 19 June 2003 www.varsity.co.uk Make Mine a Cosmopolitan King’s certainly offered an eclectic and interesting mix for May Week, writes James Sheehan

King’s May Week Concert is always to hear one of the boys singing the part. a showcase of the college’s aston- Mead’s voice was certainly better suited to ishing depth and range of student the performance he gave of Vivaldi’s Stabat musical talent, so I arrived at the Mater, taking us effortlessly through the concert with high expectations. long melodic lines of the piece, which With soloists Tim Mead and Annabelle flowed endlessly from where he was Lawson, and conductors Alexander standing to fill the spaces of King’s Chapel. Milner and Daniel Hyde all on the point of Apart from anything else, it was sheer graduating, I was as excited about hearing technical prowess and good close accom- some memorable performances as I was paniment from an ensemble led by Ashley about the obligatory strawberries and Grote which kept my attention through wine on the lawn afterwards. In the end I what might otherwise have seemed a was disappointed by neither – after all, the slightly dogged work, especially in compar- quality of both was just about guaranteed ison to the harmonic excitement of the beforehand. evening’s other repertoire. The whole work The evening began with Bernstein’s was performed with a kind of condescen- Chichester Psalms, sung by King’s Choir sion which suited the piece very well. and Voices and conducted by Stephen Although still an enjoyable experience,

Cleobury. I was impressed by the precision the KCMS orchestra’s performance of the Zarif Jabber with which the whole choir articulated the overture to Prokofiev’s War and Peace, The same cannot be said of the finale soloist plenty of room to sing out, and punchy, uneven rhythms of the first part, under Alexander Milner, caught my atten- of Bartók’s Concerto No.3 for Piano and allowed us to hear the fine balance of although some of the more subtle interplay tion much less than the other three. The Orchestra. As its title suggests, the tone she achieved between percussion between the voices was lost in the expans- orchestra produced a full enough sym- piano really is a part of the ensemble in and melody, above all in the work’s outer es of the chapel. Cleobury’s treatment of phonic sound, but the balance was not of this last of the composer’s works, and movements. Entries were on the whole the lilting, mellifluous melodies of the third the perfection we had just heard from the Annabelle Lawson’s skill as a chamber very precise, and a sense of beginning part of the work was brisk but appropriate, two earlier pieces. The undue promi- musician was manifest in her close and excitement permeated the perform- making the blissful purity of the work’s last nence of bass and lower brass was part- interaction with the orchestra through- ance. I thoroughly enjoyed the whole lines all the more enchanting. ly the fault of the chapel’s acoustics, and out, particularly with the strings. concert, and when the final chord struck, Tim Mead’s countertenor solo in the it was a much shorter choice than the Bartók’s orchestration of the concerto is it perhaps came a little too soon, if not second part of the Bernstein (Psalm 23) rest of the evening’s programme, but the uncluttered, and this was reflected in unexpectedly. Thankfully, it wasn’t quite was admittedly faultless, and very beauti- whole piece just seemed to begin, before the strings’ patient accompaniment to the end of the evening – I still had my ful, although I was a little disappointed not ending a little while later. the roaming piano lines, which left the strawberries to look forward to. 11

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Sex is always better in the sum- schoolgirl’s outfits either - French day, unless you are very (un)lucky. mer. Maybe there’s something in maids, nurses, bunny girls, Santa’s Just before you are about to meet up the air, or maybe it’s just helpers, headmistresses: the possibili- again you need to make sure each because people are wearing ties are endless. Talk to each other too other’s minds are focused where you less; whatever the reason, there and find out which outfits will have want them to be. Maybe start with a is definitely an increase in maximum impact. And a little tip: subtly sexy message in the morning horniness levels, of which full when a girl says she wants a man in and as the day goes on, get more and advantage needs to be taken. uniform she normally NEVER means more graphic about exactly what you We’ve been doing research to the school type want to do to them when you next get come up with the top five games that Frigidity. This game takes an your hands on them and more impor- people play to spice things up a bit awful lot of restraint to play well, but tantly, what you want them to do to between the covers so that you can leads to the most mind-blowing sex you. A word of warning about the use their ideas or build on them to afterwards, so it is definitely worth- game though: don’t start texting too come up with your own sexy games. while. One of you needs to take long before you see each other next or Words. This game can be used to charge, blindfolding else you are going to end up very, very inject passion into an afternoon on the and handcuffing frustrated. Starting sending suggestive grass or even in bed as a little your partner. messages on Tuesday for an encounter warm-up game. One partner sits on Saturday is going to leave the pair behind the other and holds the of you very wound up by the end of the second close. In this position, week. sweetly whisper exactly the Have an affair. way you want to be kissed. If the Recreate the inten- other can do it, he or she gets a sity of an affair point. If not, you get the point. Then without actually switch places. Keep this going until cheating, to get one of you is ahead of the other by two your adrenaline points or until you lose restraint. going and have mind- Oops I did it again. Ever forget You are then blowing sex. Make all the impact Britney made as she allowed to do whatever you like to your plans via e-mail and saucy text danced about in a cute little schoolgirl’s them, making use of props such as messages, but don’t mention anything outfit? Us neither. It indulges one of baby oil, chocolate sauce and ice to each other about your arranged date the most common male fantasies and, cream to play with different sensa- over the phone or when you see each luckily for girls, is a very easy look to tions. As you are doing this, your part- other. Arrange to meet in a restaurant create. Dressing up is also a great way ner has to try and remain absolutely in an area to which you never normally still, whilst your objective is to bring venture as a couple to avoid getting them as close to the brink as possible ‘caught’ making sure that you secure a without making them climax. Once table away from prying eyes. Ensure your partner has been sufficiently that you drink a bit to calm your nerves Dan Archer wound up, it’s time to swap places so and build up a bit of Dutch courage; that you get the chance to be teased. after all, you are doing something that If either of you ‘peaks’ before the you shouldn’t be. After you have fin- game is over, the other can choose to ished eating, go back to a hotel with a punish them in any way that they see bottle of wine and indulge in all your fit. Otherwise, once you have both most adventurous fantasies. When you been sufficiently wound up, you can leave each other the next morning, take the handcuffs off and do all the make sure that you keep your Hope you’ve enjoyed things you wish that they wouldn’t ‘encounter’ hush hush; never confess bumming around in to lose your inhibitions and explore stop doing moments earlier. to each other in person, but feel free to your more daring side as, once you get Text me senseless. Chances are keep the affair going through e-mails May Week as much into character, it is very easy to forget that over the summer you will not be and arrange another ‘infidelity’ for as these guys! hang-ups. Don’t limit yourself to just able to see each other all day, every- some time in the future.

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A B C D Summer Luvin’ Glitz and Glamour 13 19 June 2003 19 June May Week Review Week May Do try at home this kids: golden from kill. to road goddess easy-to-copy Five ways to shine. Editor : Emma Charlton : Emma Editor So there you are, a guide to a So there you inking the inside lids with smokey black with smokey inking the inside lids – the fun part – the loose glit- Next kohl. Supreme talent to get is required ter. removing whilst not to stick the glitter Using a cotton the colour underneath. moisten the outer finger, bud or your liberally, half of the lid, apply glitter on to that some will fall ignoring the fact of the disco this is all part the cheeks, can go high lips you For ball effect. from a juicy tube shine or high glitter, from Lancôme or gloss with glitter Since should do the trick. Urban Decay definition, is a high mainte- this, by the nance look, be prepared to have re-appli- person. Regular gloss on your in cations throughout the night should, inner goddess. bring out your theory, Although I suspect the reality will be staggerrather less glamourous, as you mate your your given to the loo, having to hold, and pint of cider and black to teeth, I like your smurm gloss all over on the assumption that everyone work else will be similarly inebriated and no this premise add one will notice. From a gem like: as you extras other as many eye glued to the inner corner of each Body the face. over scattered and a few is good here too, and the glitter- glitter to add bugs from Lush are the only way is a small, per- torso. Each to your glitter cocoa but- half sphere of formed fectly thousand ter embedded with several diamond. Stroking over bits of shattered a dual injection of the body provides and glitter. moisture to find perfec- How sparkling summer. delusional the buy tion in a pot. Never is best; fabulous- assertion that natural ness comes both from within and with- inside requires out. Changing what’s and time-consuming soul search- effort the outside is as easy and ing; changing fun as a visit to Boots. The shimmer option outlined above The Start – a beaming high- with the face ded within. Mascara can be brown too, can be brown ded within. Mascara the palest lashes; have but only if you pitch is pitch, else the rule everyone for Gloss is the best part of doing black. are literally hundreds of There subtle. similar to your one that is shades: pick from the lip colour and dab on, working the should aim to have You centre out. centre of the lip as the peak of glossi- non- gradually to a natural ness, fading effect overall The gloss at the periphery. shiney. shimmery, here should be sexy, to avoid want you Go easy on yourself, or looking Betty being branded Sweaty just survived you a colourless oil like per- that practice makes say They slick. and whilst I’m not sure whether fect it is one that truism this is a universal definitely applies to the art of make-up. will be misled mishaps you a few After goddess. to perpetual way on your At night you should be reserved day. for can graduate to full-on glitz. In fact dark only look, glitzy is a strictly after remov- taking is like it from night to day from the circus – absolutely ing a clown not acceptable and definitely not funny. oys- is your at night the world However, as much to draw the aim being ter, as is humanely to yourself attention human disco ball, catch- Think possible. ing the light from every angle, drawing whilst protect- to the surface attention ing the identity beneath. I’m rather mil- itant when it comes to applying this slap. much optional. lighter is needed here, glitter and chin forehead, Dab on cheeks, central line of the nose. the down with a neon shade: the eye Frame pink, or purple, but if fuchsia turquoise, take it to the don’t shimmer it doesn’t bone, Apply up to the brow checkout. Finish by then line underneath the eye.

The subtle shimmer is for first time shimmer is for subtle The Products come arranged in a sort of come arranged Products Sparkling used to be associated with This is by no means meant to be a is by This A

www.varsity.co.uk users, but be warned this is a habit that users, but be warned and once acquired is inevitably addictive of to the levels quickly progress may start with some- pantomime dame. I’d go for to hit the cheeks: thing sexy with a twist, are feeling or if you peach a slightly lighter pink will very brave should also be shimmy Eyes work. the tones neutral: but keep shimmery, and taupe. Liner is peach beige, brown, do an amazing Urban Decay and brown embed- one, the subtlest hint of glitter dazzle hierarchy. The discerning con- The dazzle hierarchy. sparkle a lit- sumer can shimmer sexily, complete all out razzle daz- tle or go for the magpies among a picnic for zle – it’s need to you might not think You us. do. you me honey, sparkle, but believe being a teeny-bopper, an image which I an image which being a teeny-bopper, – endlessly tried to cultivate have diesel jeans, neon disco dolly, grown-up belts, teensy tops and lashings of glitz. fool-proof guide to the application of guide to the application fool-proof might consider it as Instead you glitter. a suggestions from a girl who has had In other with glitter. lot of experience the pretend to have I don’t words, secrets of looking good, rather I’m look- preliminary ideas ing to impart a few to might like and precautions that you obsessed with all been I’ve consider. and twelve things sparkly since I turned mother banned me from wearing my can’t what we all want We mascara. ban has early make-up and my have I have Now life. mentally me for scarred that would a collection of juicy tubes and a habit that borders on Boots rival obsessional. Self-confessed magpies of the magpies Self-confessed season The sparkly unite! world again. is upon us once shares her glitter fetish and explains why all that glitters needn’t be gold why all that glitters fetish and explains glitter shares her Emma Charlton Razzle dazzle ‘em dazzle Razzle Lisa Ward Lisa 19 June 2003 May Week Review A www.varsity.co.uk

LISTINGS FILM

THURSDAY Hobb’s Cafe & Arts Picture House Igby Goes Down (15) 1.00, 5.00, 9.20, The Last Restaurant Great Wilderness (18) 3.00, 7.10, Drunk on Pizza for lunch? Women and Poetry (15) 2.00, 6.40, Solaris (12A) The finest Mediterranean 11.00, Mullholland Drive (18) 10.45 A charming cafe restaurant serving teas, ice creams Dominos FRIDAY overlooking the and quality coffees Arts Picture House beautiful Parker’s Piece & Broken Wings (15) 12.15,2.20, 6.40, Summer Things (15) 4.30, 8.50, Brazil (15) 10.50, Igby Goes Down A unique location – central but removed (15) 12.00, 2.00. 9.10, Dark Water (15) 4.10, 9.00, Private parties welcome 11.10,Wreckmeister Harmonies (12A) 6.30 Dolls (12A) 12.50, 5.00, Tadpole (15) 3.15, 7.20, Phone is open 12 till Delighted to offer a Booth (15) 11.00 Come and dine with us late seven days before you leave 15% student discount with an Cambridge this Summer NUS card a week SATURDAY Arts Picture House “Simply the best food in Cambridge – freshly prepared every day” The Little Polar Bear (U) 11.00, Broken Wings (15) Delivery available 12.15, 2.20, 6.40, Summer Things (15) 4.30, 8.50, Parker’s Piece • 01223 367480 / 505760 Brazil (15) 10.50, Igby Goes Down (15) 2.00, 9.10, www.hobbspavilion.co.uk DOMINOS CAMBRIDGE: 01223 355155 Dark Water (15) 4.10, 9.00, 11.10, Werckmeister 27 HILLS ROAD, CAMBRIDGE, CB2 1NW Harmonies (12A) 6.30, Dolls (12A) 12.50, 5.00, Tadpole (15) 3.15,7.20, Phone Booth (15) 11.00 SUNDAY Amores Perros (18) & Nine Queens (15) 12.00, just bring Broken Wings (15) 6.40, Summer Things (15) 4.30, 8.50, Broken Wings (15) 12.15, Igby Goes Down Nude Talent at Joy (15) 2.00. 9.10, Dark Water (15) 4.10, 9.00, a copy of Werckmeister Harmonies (12A) 6.30, Dolls (12A) The Joy staff have chosen to work in the nude to show their support 12.50, 5.00,Tadpole (15) 3.15,7.20 for ‘National Talent Week’. Varsity “We just wanted to show Cambridge what we had to offer,” gushed MONDAY Miss Joy,“after all, we have such an amazing amount of talent and it Arts Picture House would be rude not to share it around.” Broken Wings (15) 12.15,2.20, 6.40, Summer Things for your (15) 4.30, 8.50, Igby Goes Down (15) 12.50, 6.30, 21 Petty Cury, Cambridge, CB2 T: 01223 322123 Dark Water (15) 4.10, 9.00, Amores Perros (18) 12.15, Dolls (12A) 5.00, 9.10,Tadpole (15) 3.15,7.20 discount TUESDAY STUDENT Arts Picture House Broken Wings (15) 12.15,2.20, 6.40,Summer Things Punt Hire only (15) 4.30, 8.50, Igby Goes Down (15) 12.50, 6.30, Dark Water (15) 4.10, 9.00, Nine Queens (15) 12.15, Dolls (12A) 5.00, 9.10,Tadpole (15) 3.15,7.20 Punting Co. £6 WEDNESDAY Arts Picture House A refreshingly different experience to staying in the Broken Wings (15) 12.15,2.20,6.40, Summer Things Granta www.puntingincambridge.com crew wanted historic city of Cambridge. (15) 4.30, 8.50, Igby Goes Down (15) 12.50, 6.30, Dark Water (15) 4.10, 9.00, Commercial Breaks Contemporary in style, Hotel Felix is set in its own (East Anglian Film Archive) 1.00, Dolls (12A) 5.00, glorious landscaped gardens with fifty-two individually 9.10,Tadpole (15) 3.15,7.20 designed bedrooms and suites.

MISC

FRIDAY free flowing champagne, chilled music. excessively Clare Memorial Court Whitehouse Lane, Huntingdon Road, Cambridge, CB3 0LX CUIS Garden Party (14:00-17:00) lavish food and more, Tickets available at The biggest garden party Cambridge has ever seen: www.cuis.org, £3 members / £5 non-members, Telephone:01223 277977 Facsimile: 01223 277973

THURSDAY Fun empowering dynamic workout ideal for beat- Room. www.hotelfelix.co.uk email: [email protected] Kick Bo Aerobics: (18:00) ing exam-stress.All Welcome, £2, New Hall, Long A May Week Review 19 June 2003 www.varsity.co.uk

THE CAMBRIDGE FOOTLIGHTS THEATRE

HARRY PORTER FRIDAY students, Fitzwilliam College, Grove Lawn. PRIZE 2004 ADC: (19:15) Footlights: (19:45) Part-time Temporary work for students at the The London Cuckolds - A saucy Restoration NON-SEXUAL - KISSING - Footlights summer invite scripts for an hour-long University of Cambridge Development Office. Comedy by Edward Ravenscroft, £5/4, Westcott tour show, £4 - £10,ADC Theatre. (approx.) comic play House, Jesus Lane, opposite Jesus College. REDS presents: (21:00) (the winning script will be performed in Lent term) You could work this summer vacation at the Anonymous Players in association with Jim Cartwright’s “Bed”. Emmanuel College, £4/ Deadline: 30th November University, from 8-24 hours per week! Newnham Associates present: (15:30) £6,The Master’s Garden. Hey Fever - a decadent comedy by Noel Coward. REDS presents: (15:00) Questions & Scripts to Sarah Mills, We offer: We need: Homerton College, sjm211 Bring a rug! £3.50-£5, Newnham College, Gardens. Calderon’s “Life Is A Dream”. £5/ £7, Emmanuel Attractive rates of pay Articulate, lively CASCADE PRODUCTIONS: (20:00) College,The Fellows’ Garden. (£6.06 per hour), students with GODSPELL - classic musical by Stephen TAILS YOU LOSE: (23:00) with nightly/weekly excellent spoken Schwartz, £7 (£5), Cambridge Drama Centre, . new play from ex-student John Finnemore, English to telephone MUSIC incentives schemes. Fitz Theatre: (17:30) £4,ADC Theatre alumni on behalf of Sessions are held the University. A May week production of Shakespeare’s A TUESDAY 5.30Ð9.30pm weekdays, with Midsummer Night’s Dream, £4 students, £5 non- Students who care about the Bad Timing: (19:30) occasional afternoons. University and would Kid606+DJ/rupture (Tigerbeat6) + Random SATURDAY Footlights: (19:45) Excellent work experience and like to help its Number (Irritant) + Digital Warfare. Live digi- comprehensive paid training. development efforts. ADC: (19:15) NON-SEXUAL - KISSING - Footlights summer tal bootlegs/breaks meets multi-turntablism + The London Cuckolds - A saucy Restoration tour show, £4 - £10,ADC Theatre. electro,, http://www.bad-timing.co.uk/, £6 Fun working atmosphere! Comedy by Edward Ravenscroft, £5/4, Westcott MEADs: (13:00) adv/£7,The Boat Race For further details and to apply contact Gilb Fletcher on House, Jesus Lane, opposite Jesus College. One-off chance to see Medieval Mystery Plays [email protected] Anonymous Players in association with performed outside, Kings Parade, Outside Kings. (In e-mail correspondence please quote reference sol 2003) Anonymous Players in association with MEADs: (16:00) Newnham Associates present: (15:30) EVERYMAN - don’t miss this one-off perform- Hey Fever - a decadent comedy by Noel Coward. ance!.Kings Parade, Outside Kings College. ITALIAN RESTAURANT Bring a rug! £3.50-£5, Newnham College, Gardens. REDS presents: (21:00) MEZE HOUSE CASCADE PRODUCTIONS: (20:00) Jim Cartwright’s “Bed”, £4/ £6, Emmanuel Book Reviewers GODSPELL - classic musical by Stephen College,The Master’s Garden. REDS presents: Party bookings up to 50 available Schwartz, £7 (£5), Cambridge Drama Centre, . (15:00) Downstairs Cocktail Bar Required Fitz Theatre: (17:30) Calderon’s “Life Is A Dream”, £5/ £7, Emmanuel A May week production of Shakespeare’s A College,The Fellows’ Garden. 10% STUDENT DISCOUNT Midsummer Night’s Dream, £4 students, £5 non- TAILS YOU LOSE: (23:00) students, Fitzwilliam College, Grove Lawn. new play from ex-student John Finnemore, £4, 17 Hills Road, Cambridge £50 per 1000 words, ADC Theatre. 01223 566900 how does this sound?

THATS ALL FOLKS We are a small syndication specialised on producing weekly book reviews, looking for freelance reviewers on most areas. Read a book of your liking and write a critical, witty review on it and get Thank you for paid immediately. everyone who Most subjects are covered; you suggest the titles and advertised with we take it from there. EDINBURGH FESTIVAL us over 2002-3 We look for reviews on English, French, German, Spanish, Solve your accommodation problems by calling Italian, Japanese, Russian and Chinese titles. Box advert bookings The submitted review should be in English. Carole Smith/Anne Goring on 01620 810620 for next year will be For more details please email Ms K. Amr at: email address: [email protected] taken from Monday [email protected] or write to 29th Septmber Festival Flats, 3 Linkylea Cottages, Gifford, East Lothian, EH41 4PE

Ball Photographs

MAY BUMP PHOTOS Are now on view at

Emmanuel Church Hall Trumpington St (opposite Pembroke) until Sat 28th June

afterwards available to view at

The Cambridge Studio 1a Botolph Lane, Cambridge 01954 211007 www.jetphhtograpic.com 19 June 2003 May Week Review Editor: Bethia Beadman A www.varsity.co.uk Anyone for coffee? It has recently emerged that the kind of coffee a person drinks is directly related to their footwear. As a queen of café culture myself, having graduat- 16 ed from Café Nero, I soon noticed that the simple pleasure of coffee drinking was inextricably linked to the shoes worn during the act. I left the cup and saucer on the table, and tried to fathom what was going on under the table. Photos by Bethia Beadman Bethia Photos by

The two Italian brothers Sergio and Bruno Costa founded Costa Coffee in 1971 to have a “Bar Italia” vibe. Here is an example of the home grown coffee shop, run by an authen- tic Italian family and now boasting 300 outlets in the UK. Master Roaster oversees the roasting of approximately 35 tons of coffee per week. Café Culture A Editor: Bethia Beadman May Week Review 19 June 2003 www.varsity.co.uk

Turkish coffee is best friend to the red shoes and so it is that singer Jane Birkin describes in Vogue how she became possessed with “a devilish spirit that made me want to pull the pins out of my hair an dance in front of 1,500 people” – in which shoes did she dance?

Louis Hungarian Patisserie may be visited in Hampstead, London, if only to see the cobalt blue Rolls with golden fix- tures parked outside by the owner. He can be seen flash- ing about lady Penelope style with a funny licence plate, wearing Versace and Juicy Couture pretty bling.

Starbucks may have 5,900 coffee shops worldwide, with 3.3 billion dollars of sales in 2002 and 62,000 employees, but who would have guessed that Starbucks enthusiast Paul Winter whose goal it is to visit every Starbucks in the world, has set out walking in a pair of Birkenstocks? 17 19 June 2003 May Week Review Editor: Ali Claxton A www.varsity.co.uk

Ali Claxton finds her personal oasis while Perfect Paradise indulging her Robinson Crusoe fantasy Much travel guide ink has been nearly dived right in and never came back. most part tourism in the Andamans our food over fires and spending our spilled in the attempt to find the A collection of tiny islands in the mid- affects the tribal people little and the days doing nothing more productive than perfect beach, the untouched, dle of the Bay of Bengal, the Andaman islands open to the public tend to be collecting firewood and shells. Sitting on 18 unspoilt island, and a way to and Nicobar Islands lie just off the coast uninhabited, or inhabited only by settler the sand and letting the waves lap over escape civilisation and live in of Burma, yet belong rather bizarrely, to villages. The Indian government’s previ- you, tiny shoals of shimmering fish swim unadulterated hedonism. India. They are mostly untouched and ous programmes of integration and by your feet and between your fingers. Summer looms ahead, and the notion uninhabited, with the exception of the assimilation, however, have left the After a languorous few weeks we went of escaping to some far flung location remaining tribal people, who live in tribes permenantly altered; numbers island hopping, arriving at another kidney appeals to many with the desire to indulge secreted parts of the jungle, and on a have been severely depleted, health bean shaped island, populated by a few Robinson Crusoe fantasies. For most, the affected, and unique cultures adulterat- colourful hippies who showed no inten- islands of Thailand are the destination of ed. The only tribal group that have com- tion of ever leaving. It is the lifestyle choice, but full moon raves and trance par- Sunsets and pletely withstood outside contact are which proves to be so addictive rather ties are not the answer for everybody. It’s moonlight swimming the Sentinelese, who actively and vio- than a wish to lie around on beaches all becoming harder to slip away unnoticed. make romance a lently resist all attempts at contact, and, day: complete freedom, detatchment, You think you’re onto something only to must-have accessory rather unsurprisingly, are the group and pure pleasure. Long Island has arrive and find that a mass of dread-locked which has suffered the least. Whilst the acquired a reputation for almost mythical sixties rejects have beaten you to it, and government has now issued state- beauty and there is an atmosphere of banana pancakes are being sold at every few forbidden islands. Many of the ments promising no interference with smug satisfation as you step out onto turn. The search for Paradise can be long Andaman and Nicobar Islands have been the tribes, the damage is unrectifiable. the sand, and move into a spot where and gruelling but the pot of gold at the end designated natural park areas, and with For most of those who seek out cor- of the rainbow is so tempting, that I very exquisite coral and canopied rainforests ners of the world such as the Andaman they are indeed empty tropical paradis- and Nicobar Islands it’s the search for Those who find it es. Travellers are either unknowing or too peace and perfection that spurs them on. have heard the lazy to reach them and a 3-5 day journey Smith Island, in the north of the legend by word of in bunk class on a large boat, occasional- Andamans, is so small it is rarely named ly without a functioning engine, happily on maps and is not mentioned in any mouth serves to deter the hoards. tourist guides as being open to travellers. Others have found nirvana in the stun- The people who find it are those who others have left campfires, and piles of ning islets of Fiji. Less remote and more have heard the legend through word of sea shells. We camped with four Israeli developed, many of the islands them- mouth. Getting there means catching a men who, carried away by the bohemian selves remain surprisingly unspoilt. For ride on an overnight boat, sleeping on the atmosphere, forgot to put their clothes those who fear a lifestyle devoid of drink- wooden deck and falling asleep under the on for the entire duration. One evening ing water, beds and toilets, many Fijian stars in the middle of the ocean. We paid we went nightswimming in the sea, in islands are very well equipped to deal a fisherman to drop us at Smith Island the phosphorescence which is just like with travellers. There is a risk of being and as the boat pulled up on the shore, swimming in stars. The black water is lit shepherded from one island to another silence fell. Being confronted with and, as you move or swim, trails of twin- on organised tours, however it is possi- Paradise is an incomprehensible feeling kles follow your motions in a spellbind- ble to escape the masses. For others, and you wonder what you have possibly ingly beautiful way. The camaraderie in the appeal is not solitude, but the possi- done to deserve to be on a tiny hidden Paradise, however fleeting, is unrivalled bility of meeting precisely the sort of island, so perfect it verges on the unreal. and is accompanied by the sense that travellers drawn to Paradise. Love can be Bleach blonde sand stretched in a sand you are sharing the most unique and found in abundance, as sand, sunsets, bar across the lagoon, leading to an island blissful experiences. The hunt for and moonlit swimming make romance a of dense dark green jungle, and the water Paradise will always be on, and it’s a must-have paradisal accessory. My best was as warm as a bath. A few people long and arduous chase, but once I friend has recently returned from Fiji were camped out in the trees and we found it, I spent a month there doing with a beautiful Scandinavian ‘Viking’ in strung up hammocks amongst the very little, wearing very little and floating tow. In Fiji and most Paradise islands coconut palms and lived there, cooking in the Bay of Bengal. love and happiness are seemingly on sale but they are frighteningly ephemer- al. Her dreams of producing hoards of ‘Viking’ babies lack the lustre they once had, now back in the smoky, grey sur- roundings that are London.

Even the most beautiful places in the Ali Claxton Photos by world have their downsides. Moving between islands in the Andamans involved taking an overnight Indian pas- senger ferry. Crammed into boiling bunk-class at the bottom of the ship, we eventually managed to slumber on about six inches of dirt encrusted floor space with someone sleeping on my feet, a bottom squeezed against my chest, a foot balanced on my nose and, due to the proximity of the cesspits masquerading as toilets, the faint smell of wee wafting in and out of my dreams. Paradise comes at a price of course. Sand flies and nudists doing yoga at sunrise mar the scenery in the Andaman and Nicobar islands but there is also the very serious problem of bal- ancing the interests of native tribes with that of development. The indige- nous Andamanese are thought to con- tain the world’s oldest surviving Palaeolithic people with no contact with the outside world. Their existence is inevitably precious, but fragile. For the Travel A Editor: Ali Claxton May Week Review 19 June 2003 www.varsity.co.uk

Edwin Nissen describes his trek to Himalayan Heaven Everest base camp, Nepal Photos by Edwin Nissen Photos by The walk to Everest Base Camp is mountaineering exploits of Tenzing Walking through the Khumbu valley we short of Base Camp. At this altitude, and more of a pilgrimage than a trek, Norgay and many more, mean that they pass through forests of birch and rhodo- despite our careful acclimatisation, the air offering the chance to follow in the are undoubtedly the most famous of dendron and then into high pastures feels very thin and it makes for a very footsteps of legendary Himalayan Nepal’s many Buddhist hill-tribes. It is where we encounter numerous yaks, tire- uncomfortable night’s sleep. The next explorers and climbers such as largely through their endeavour and enter- lessly lugging huge loads up and down morning we are up before sunrise to Hillary, Tenzing, Herzog and others. prise that the practical aspects of trekking the steep trails. Aside from being the climb Kala Pattar, a well known ‘hill’ above It is a tough personal challenge, are surprisingly easy. Without the need to Nepalese beast of burden these great, Base Camp which, like an island of involving two-weeks walking at high alti- carry food or camping equipment back- hairy creatures provide an important enlightenment amidst a sea of mountains tudes, but is a revelatory journey, offer- packs are light and trekking becomes little source of fur and hide, milk and cheese, and ice, offers an awesome panorama as ing lasting images of remote Buddhist more than a pleasurable ramble through and even yak steaks – not to be recom- well as the best view of Everest. We monasteries, irrepressible Sherpas and quaint villages, gazing in wonder at the reach the summit as the sun rises over peaks which seem to have human incredible scenery all around you. Everest and, as far as the eye can see, moods and personalities. Our first few days are spent walking Huge icy Himalayan huge icy Himalayan castles rear up into Our adventure begins with an hour- through an alpine valley beside the froth- castles rear up into the crystal clear blue skies. long flight which takes us out of the hus- ing and foaming Dudh Kosi, which appro- the crystal clear blue We journey on towards Base Camp; tle and bustle, poverty and pollution of priately translates as “milk river”, and then the Khumbu glacier creaks eerily beneath Kathmandu, and into a land where the making our first steep ascent up and over skies our feet, a sound disturbed by the occa- nearest road is a weeks walk away. the brow of a large hill to Namche Bazaar, sional thunderous roar of an avalanche in Transport comes in the form of a tiny twin the Sherpa capital and the region’s only mended – for the local people. the Khumbu icefall above. Finally, we otter aircraft equipped with two propellers settlement that could reasonably be It is five days since we left Namche reach Base Camp, and are met with hun- and seating no more than 20 people. called a town. We stay here the following Bazaar and the scenery has changed dra- dreds of brightly coloured tents in a world Blessed with clear views, we soon have day in order to help acclimatise to the alti- matically. From now on we pass through otherwise composed of greys and our first glimpse of the icy peaks of the tude; we are already well over 3000m, a desolate country of rock and ice. whites. Though dozens of the climbers high Himalaya, rearing over the Indian having started at Lukla at 2700m. By the Turning a corner in the valley we are sud- milling around, waiting for their attempts end of the week we are to reach altitudes denly faced with a sea of rocky moraine at the summit will no doubt be success- of over 5000m and it is important to take which has shards of ice poking through it. ful, a glance up at the towering flanks of An island of acclimatisation seriously. Several trekkers This is the impressive Khumbu glacier Everest above us illustrates what an enlightenment die each year from AMS (Acute Mountain upon which Base Camp is situated. incredible feat Hillary and Tenzing amidst a sea of Sickness), which afflict those who rush to Gorak Shep is the highest trekking achieved fifty years ago. Suitably in awe, mountains and ice high altitudes too quickly. lodge in the region at 5200m but is still we turn back for the long walk home.

subcontinent. Yet in this jumble of tower- ing peaks and deep gorges it is hard to see where we could possibly land. Worryingly, the plane aims straight for the gargantuan walls of one of the largest peaks and it seems our pilot may be on a suicide mission but ahead a tiny village appears, perched above a precipitous gorge. This is Lukla airport: the gateway to the Everest region. Gasping with relief as we dismount, we are quickly swamped by local Sherpas offering their services as guides and porters. A porter can be hired for less than £5 a day and a guide for just a little more, since in this country the average income is a measly $200. Sherpas originally settled in this harsh, high altitude region after crossing over the high passes from Tibet centuries ago. Despite numbering only 70,000, the 19 19 June 2003 May Week Review A www.varsity.co.uk

20 May Week Fashion

Fashion: Tracey, Lila and Shev Photographs: Rowan Huppert Model: Kate Special Thanks: Andy

Finding a unique ball dress in Cambridge is not the easiest of tasks. A first stop is Monsoon, with plenty of styles and colours to suit all shapes and sizes. For something a little different, The Tailor’s Cat on Sussex Street has a large selection of more original dresses. A third option for an individual look, is to piece together your own outfit, maybe a corset from Karen Millen paired with a skirt from Robert Sale.

Above: Silver embroidered bodice, £365, black chiffon skirt, £153, and beaded choker £105 all from The Tailor’s Cat. Left: Asymmetric green chiffon dress, £235, The Tailor’s Cat. Fashion A May Week Review 19 June 2003 www.varsity.co.uk

Yummy Bummy

Photographs: Rowan Huppert Model: Lila

If thongs just aren’t your style, BIG pants can work!

From top to bottom: blue/orange shorts, £33, Malizia by La Perla; pale blue lace shorts, £35, Malizia by La Perla; flowered purple shorts, £76, Beau Bra; black shorts, £40, La Perla Studio. All the pants are from, Le Reve Lingerie on Bene’t Street.

Above: lilac organza mid-calf length dress, £160, Monsoon. Below/ Right: layered nude corset, £95, Karen Millen with cream satin full length skirt, £70, Coast in Robert Sale.

21 19 June 2003 May Week Review Editor: Mark Baczoni A www.varsity.co.uk

Mark Baczoni invites you to explore some of his Double vision favourite art houses and galleries 2 Willow Road charming collection of modern art, If you're ever in Hampstead on including pieces by Marcel Duchamp, an afternoon and you happen to Henry Moore, Max Ernst and Roland 22 get bored of the High Street, Penrose (who incidentally lived just you could wander down some down the road at 36 Downshire Hill at National Ttust backstreets to 2 Willow Road, one point), which is on display through- the house of the Hungarian out the house. This collection is inter- architect Erno Goldfinger. esting primarily because it consists of Goldfinger was a pre-war émigré pieces the visitor may not have seen who made his home in Hampstead and before, but which are certainly worth whose modernist style of architecture seeing (at least once). angered local resident Ian Fleming suf- There are guided tours, which last ficiently to name a character after him approximately an hour, but some may (no prizes for guessing which one). find a tour more restrictive than help- His house, now a National Trust prop- ful, as the tours are moved quickly erty, is interesting in itself from an archi- through each room; the urge to pause, tectural point of view. Built in 1939, it thus denied, is strong. The house has shows how Goldfinger's flexible approach essentially been left as it was at to the subdivision of space allows for both Goldfinger's death. The visitor is thus an integrated area for entertaining and the able to enjoy an insight into his life and subdivisions of space necessary for the into the domestic arrangements an privacy of everyday life. architect makes for himself. Willow The house is replete with small, but Road gives you the feeling of walking significant touches. Thus, Goldfinger through Goldfinger's life as he left it. incorporated grates under the windows The space is not quite home, and not to prevent them from steaming up with quite museum. It is, however, a very condensation. Goldfinger also had a nice way to spend a quiet afternoon.

The British Library every new case. There are state docu- ity at one point or another has realised I'm not sure how many people visit ments (including two of the three and deemed worthy of being remem- the British Library's new reading room extant original copies of the Magna bered. They are also works of art in at St. Pancras. In any case, not enough. Carta), Christian, Arabic, Jewish and themselves, and in fact, much medieval British Library The reading rooms themselves are Coptic illustrated texts, as well as books art is found in illuminated manuscripts, modern and functional (and entry is and documents from the Far East. some of which are exquisitely rendered, restricted), but there is an exhibition The exhibition includes some very and in their finery little resemble what space which contains some of the special pieces which serve as a fine we would think of as a book today. finest books anyone is ever likely to introduction to the highest levels of the Books are also windows onto other cul- see. The small, well organised and for art of books. I particularly remember a tures, showing their treatment of the once decently lit display of books, each Gutenberg Bible (the first printed book, written word, their aesthetic taste in accompanied by a little informative produced in Germany), the oldest decoration, the varied use of colours plaque, certainly contains some incom- extant copy of the New Testament and the changing styles of illumination. parable gems. The writings of an (which is magnificently preserved in a The exhibition serves to challenge astounding array of varied cultures are very simple, but elegant, manuscript), the viewer to look at books anew, as represented here, with topics ranging which is over 1500 years old, and a works of art. As works of art, they from the sacred to the mercantile, but series of fifteenth century Haggadas, reveal much about the cultures which there is a consistent richness and beau- unusual examples of richly decorated produced them, and about the central ty to all the displays that cannot fail to Hebrew texts. place which the written word has pleasantly surprise and captivate at Books contain much of what human- always occupied in human discourse.

The Musée national des Arts newcomer may get a little lost. Michelozzo’s Palazzo Medici- whisper of impressionism, but are deli- asiatiques Guimet, Paris However, even if you find the collection Ricardi, Florence cate and precisely rendered, allowing When my father visited the muse- overwhelming, the gift shop is fantastic The small Capella (Chapel) of this the frescoes to work both on the minor um thirty years ago, it was still the and sells very good incense. fine Palazzo was decorated, on a Medici and the major scale. exuberantly eclectic collection of the commission, by the fifteenth-century French industrialist and compulsive Florentine artist Benozzo Gozzoli. The traveller Émile Guimet. When I set out chapel is intimate thanks to its small to find the museum a few years ago, in size, and the decoration is illuminating, my father’s tracks, I found another not oppressive. The whole chapel is place altogether. For a start, it was exquisitely finished. The floor as well as closed for refurbishment. However, the wooden seats are beautifully inlaid this ambitious redesign project has and polished, and even the ceiling is now finished, and the second time I richly decorated. But it is Gozzoli’s series made the pilgrimage to the Avenue of frescoes of the Adoration of the Magi Dena, I was allowed in. that really set the Capella apart.

The Guimet has developed from a Arts asitiques Paris Musée national des The fine portraits, fantastic Tuscan mere collection and to become a muse- landscapes and rich animal and bird life um in its own right. The collection now in the paintings present a richness of seems comprehensive, well presented variety that allows of almost endless within the capacious space, and almost exploration. The individual walls stand as too much to take in all at once. Certainly panels in themselves, but there is an the range of Far Eastern objects, many overall narrative rhythm that leads the of them religious, on display here can visitor round from Jerusalem to seem daunting if you arrive with only a Bethlehem, and from the youngest King general interest in Asian art. I recom- to the oldest. The quality of the painting mend you take in just a little at a time. If is such that even from very close-up, it you have a particular interest, the retains its amazing quality. The brush- Guimet is a good place to indulge it; the strokes, if taken out of context, almost Visual Arts ‘ ‘ ‘ 19 June 2003 May Week Review Editor: Tom Armitage A www.varsity.co.uk For better or for worse? 24 Varsity picks four stunning unmissable films and four that will send you straight to sleep

City of God Bowling for Columbine Donnie Darko Secretary As everyone who went to see this Documentary film maker Michael Moore Richard Kelly’s film is evidence that there This is the type of film that probably had huge word-of-mouth hit in January investigates America’s gun obsession. In are still some talented filmmakers the bible belt barricading typing schools, discovered, words just aren’t enough turns hilariously funny, moving and around. This remarkable twisted tale of often reason enough to run to the flicks. to describe it. Awesome, enthralling, deeply disturbing. Worth viewing just to time travel and teen angst is tightly plot- But Steven Shainberg’s project actually bravura film making. Impressive stuff see Moore take on gun advocate ted and well-acted, and gets more enjoy- delivers on its promise – in spades. from director Fernando Meirelles. Charlton Heston. able with multiple viewings.

The Matrix Reloaded Maid in Manhattan Dreamcatcher How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days Nothing prepared me for how terrible the This cliché-ridden piece of fluff is sick- An alien invasion film in which Morgan Or How Not to Gag on your Popcorn. Wachowski brothers’ sequel would be. It eningly sugary and obvious. J-Lo is Freeman’s eyebrows pose a greater The man who brought you Richie Rich managed to combine dodgy-looking impossibly sweet, Fiennes looks threat than the rubber-looking aliens. A tries to turn the tables on the old effects with a lousy, nonsensical script uncomfortable and Fortune cookie phi- waste of time and talent, the film is ter- cliché of the date bet. But instead and some gratuitous Keanusex all in one losophy abounds. “What we do does rible on all counts. “Evil slips through?” trips over them and manages to fall stinking, craptastic package. Abysmal. not define who we are”. So does rubbish like this. flat on its pretty face.

Tom Armitage Charlotte Smith Eeson Rajendra Jess Eccles Cambridge becomes Cannes-bridge Tom Armitage previews the 23rd Cambridge Film Festival and looks forward to some top-quality shows You might find it hard to believe, excesses of May Week, there’s also both children and adults, and definitely and there’ll almost certainly be a great but Cambridge continues to exist two entirely free open-air showings – deserved its Oscar. A few of you might selection of repertory and shorts dur- outside of University terms. Yes, of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and have been lucky enough to see it at ing the festival. Cambridge is very even when most of the students Singin’ In The Rain on Parkers’ Piece on Queens’ Films in November, but if you lucky to have such a festival – it really are back at home, there’s still a July 11 and 12 respectively. didn’t, do check it out. And keep your is one of the best in the country – so city here and the thriving culture The Miyakazi film in particular is eyes peeled for further information: don’t miss out on it if you’ve got the that goes hand in hand with it. worth a trip – it’s a delightful film for many films are yet to be confirmed, opportunity to go along. And nowhere is that culture more in evidence than between the 10 and 20 July, when the 23rd Cambridge Film Festival hits the Arts Picturehouse. Recently revived, the festival garnered great critical plaudits and has been host to some memorable UK premieres, including, last year, Michael Moore’s Bowling for Columbine. This year looks set to be no excep- tion; premieres confirmed include the Photos by Picselect and ImageNet Photos by latest film from arthouse favourite Peter Greenaway, The Moab Story: The Tulse Luper Suitcases Part I, the latest spoof documentary from the Spinal Tap crew, A Mighty Wind, and perhaps most notably the UK premiere of the latest film by Hayao Miyazaki, Spirited Away, which won the Best Animated Feature Oscar. For those of you whose wallets are still recoiling from the Film A Editor: Martha Housden May Week Review 19 June 2003 www.varsity.co.uk Sunkissed and sound crazy Martha Housden explores the mystical quality and summer vibe of the music festival Music Malika Worrall Summer days. When the livin’ is Glastonbury, or found your True Life And even when the summer is over, hot summer’s night back in 1999, on a easy and the chicks are free. Purpose in a llama orphanage in Peru, music can take you back, providing the veranda, somewhere in These are the days when life gets then return you must. words to describe an indescribable Massachusetts, with someone who suspended in the haze of sunshine, The only remedy during this painful experience. It can remind you of a Lost melted my heart. The whole world can booze and sun-kissed skin. For stu- transition is music. While the days may Weekend in Ibiza, with that girl, in that listen to this song, but no one will dents, this is me-time. The chance to do get cold, and the world may seem bar, with those big ‘eyes’. Or help you know this song the way I do. The mem- nothing or the chance to see the world. cloudy, the heat of your summer can re-live that festival moment, when your ory is mine. Locked in the music and Climb a mountain. Surf the ocean. live on in your Soundtrack of 2003. rock hero strummed in the dawn with locked in my mind. Believe in magic. Believe in love. Summer is the season of Music. your favourite track. But hey guys, let’s leave the dream- But remember, this is borrowed Everywhere you go rhythms surf over the The greatest thing about music is ing till later, because now is the time time. Sooner or later, the real world air, whilst distant beats set the pace of life. that no one hears it in the same way. It for living. Just remember to press (your mother) will demand that you There is something about live music and is an Ear Whore, open to intimate rela- record on your Summer Soundtrack so return to the rat race of Responsibility. the summertime. Whether at a festival, an tionships with many different minds. these days can live on in the playback And unless you have fallen in daisy- open-air gig or an impromptu banjo ses- Jamming by Bob Marley is my sum- of your mind, long after the sun has chain love with a hippy in the fields of sion, the stuff has never tasted so good. mer song. It takes me back to that one gone to sleep. Magic and memorable festival moments

Hannah Forbes Black Raphael Shirley Sam Benedict Dan Thorneloe King’s St John’s Newnham Robinson

Glastonbury 2002. It Reading 2002. Slipknot Party in the Park 2002. Creamfields 2002. It

was an amazing festi- were awful but there A moment that sticks had been raining all

val, apparently. But was a kind of ‘mosh pit out was when Lee day, but as

we spent most of our chivalry’. After being from Blue flashed his Underworld played time in the healing crushed by a fat hairy pasty arse to the their final track, Mona, “ “ “ “ fields, getting stoned. “ “ bloke, he helped me to “ crowd. It was nice and “a rainbow came out. It Getting ‘healed’. my feet and dusted me pert, but I was too was at true festival off. busy looking at moment. A song that reminds Duncan. me of the summer is My fave summer song My great summer Lady by Mojo. is Summertime by Fave summer song is track is Seven Days Jazzy Jeff. Girlfriend by *nsync. and One Week by BBE. 25 19 June 2003 May Week Review Editor: Tim Jarratt A www.varsity.co.uk Tri-umph for Cambridge

Eschewing the traditional garden With the Varsity Match being decid- party carnage of Suicide Sunday, ed on aggregate times, Oxford’s cause Cambridge Triathletes 26 the Cambridge University triath- was not helped by the fact that their The Final Standings letes elected instead to take on first contender was slower than the Oxford in their Triathlon Varsity fastest five Cambridge triathletes, Mark Rank Name Swimming Rank Cycling Rank Running Rank Match. A string of excellent indi- Tempest proving that there was ‘life in vidual performances from the the old dog yet with a strong 26th place 5 Henry Brown 00:07:29 49 00:23:39 5 00:15:21 1 Light Blues resulted in a crushing and Mike Scott (44th) showing that defeat for the Oxford team. swimmers can actually compete in 8 Rachel Horn 00:06:08 8 00:24:28 22 00:17:14 21 The match was held in conjunction land-based events. Brian Pang pro- with an open Triathlon event organised in duced a solid 0:54.04 to finish 79th, Mansfield, near Nottingham. Cambridge Oarsman Jon Alexander did well to 10 Alex Starling 00:06:25 16 00:24:08 16 00:17:42 34 underlined their Varsity credentials by make the top 100, finishing in 99th grabbing three of the top ten finishing place, while Helen Czerski posted an 26 Mark Tempest 00:08:03 78 00:24:49 28 00:17:41 33 times in a 400-strong field. Henry excellent 1:01.45 – a very good per- Brown, belying his preference for long- formance in her first triathlon to help distance events, finished 5th overall in a secure the ladies’ competition. 44 Mike Scott 00:06:08 7 00:27:09 103 00:18:29 57 very quick 0:46.29. More comfortable on With Varsity victory and BUSA land, Brown thrashed unhappily through Bronze medals in the bag, the 79 Brian Pang 00:07:19 44 00:28:02 138 00:18:43 68 the 400m swim before posting a quick Cambridge team can now look ahead to bike leg and then, sensationally, the an action-packed summer. With the fastest run of the day to finish as top mantle of captaincy now passed onto 99 Jon Alexander 00:08:15 101 00:28:46 161 00:18:32 59 Cambridge performer. Cambridge cap- James Palmer ([email protected]), Horn tain Rachel Horn, continuing her inex- will be ramping up the mileage in the 139 Lennard Lee 00:06:29 17 00:30:43 233 00:20:30 159 orable march to this summer’s Hawaii build-up to the Hawaii Ironman. Brown Ironman event, was next, coming in 8th heads to Switzerland for an Ironman just ahead of Alex Starling (10th). This is qualifier that should see him take on 163 Nick Thornton 00:08:13 97 00:29:09 182 00:21:40 219 the second race that Horn and Starling the ultimate challenge in Hawaii along- have raced head-to-head – both times side Horn. For the mere mortals in the 217 Helen Czerski 00:08:36 139 00:31:04 244 00:22:05 234 these two triathletes have finished with- team, several Olympic distance (1500m in a whisker of one another. The score is swim, 40km bike, 10km run) events one apiece – watch this space for more, beckon, including the London and 282 James Palmer 00:09:26 195 00:31:01 242 00:26:10 329 but don’t expect Starling to put in an Cambridge Triathlons in August. appearance in Hawaii. Buzz Hendricks Sport Wanted Editors for MAYS 2004 Could you:

• Take on the May Anthologies project, expanding MAYS as the country’s foremost student writing anthology?

• Form an editorial committee to screen hundreds of submissions from across Cambridge, Oxford and beyond?

• Find a guest editor to introduce and promote the book?

• Work alongside literary agents and national publishers to launch the book? Then you could edit MAYS 2004

To apply:

• E-mail the Varsity Business Manager on [email protected] for an application form • Solo and joint applications accepted • All shortlisted candidates will, be interviewed • The role begins in Michaelmas 2003 DEADLINE FOR APPLICATIONS, 12:00, FRIDAY 27TH JUNE A Editor: Tim Jarratt May Week Review 19 June 2003 www.varsity.co.uk

Tim Jarratt on all the action at May Bumps

Head joy for Newnham Bumps

So that was May Bumps 2003 Emma to survive and sure enough they the crew had not trialled at CUBC at novices could see them back on the and overall it was a classic week were dumped from head outside the some point. It was one of the most rise next year. of racing with great weather Plough. Caius continued to fall and impressive crews seen on the Cam in College rowing draws to a close for and large crowds. There were were bumped by Pembroke. Further ages (reminiscent of the Tit Hall crews another year. A few crews are off to the usual pile ups, damaged back Maggie had overlap on Downing of the early 90s for those who’ve been Women’s and Men’s Henley, but for a boats and, in the top divisions, who had overlap on Jesus. Coming around too long), but for the spectators few months the Cam will be a slightly some quite good rowing. onto the Reach, Downing just convert- it was really quite dull. quieter place. Boat club of the year The most exciting division all week ed before the girls in red, which Tit Hall went up three places to fin- must be Caius, which ended up with was Women’s I, which saw some dashed Maggie’s hopes for blades. ish second and Robinson ended up in five out of six of the main trophies, but impressive bumps action on all four Saturday saw the top five row over fourth. Emma, Jesus and Christ’s all crew of the term has to be Newnham, days. Three crews startied on the top with Newnham imperious at the top. gained spoons and provided easy Head of the River for the first time in bung line. Caius began the week at Pembroke gained significantly on bumps for the crews behind them. 27 years. head after rowing over the previous Emma, but could not make them crack. Sidney and Pembroke both seemed in year, but a surprisingly lackluster per- Jesus ‘won’ their spoons and Catz a hurry to leave Division I with displays formance on the Wednesday saw them were also embarrassed as they fell to of truly awful rowing. Pembroke left taken out by Emma at Ditton Corner. an overbump by Clare. first after being overbumped by Fitz on Further back, Newnham made short Newnham were undoubtedly the the first day, but Sidney won the medi- work of a low-grade Jesus boat and fastest crew on the Cam and it was fit- ocrity competition by going down six Pembroke bumped Downing. ting that they ended up with the places overall. Caius II went up four This term, Newnham assembled an Headship. Along with their rowing places to finish the week as the high- impressive unit stroked by Blue and prowess, they are to be commended est placed second VIII and safely in the Jet Photographic Jet new CUWBC President Rachel Smith. for their grace in victory, which was top flight. This was a really good crew Whereas previous crews have looked demonstrated on Sunday as they went that, although slightly rough around good on paper, but been hampered by to Caius to pick up the newly inaugu- the edges, was extremely powerful the weight of the egos on board, this rated women’s Mays Headship Trophy and fast – they put a great many 1st Newnham outfit was both powerful, – a beautiful piece of silverware, kindly VIIIs to shame. technically tidy and above all, fast. This donated by alumni from Caius. The lower men’s divisions saw many was demonstrated clearly on Thursday The other Women’s divisions saw sets of blades and a large number of when they bumped Caius in the gut, their fair share of action. Pembroke spoons. Magdalene had a good week as whose coach was clearly impressed, emphasised their resurgence: both the did Peterhouse, but Pembroke and Jesus “We started quite well and then sud- 2nd and 3rd VIIIs winning blades. faired badly. Eddies, devoid of their usual denly Newnham were on top of us – Emma II gained blades for the second quota of Blues, actually fell by one place. they gave us no chance.” year running and finished as the high- Jesus as a whole will be keen to for- With Pembroke bumping Jesus, est placed 2nd VIII. get this year’s May Bumps with eight Emma were under no threat on the Turning to the men’s divisions, there out of ten crews getting spoons while second day and paddled over the was little excitement at the top with the other two fell by one and three course, but must have felt a great nobody getting remotely close to places. However bumps is cyclical and sense of foreboding about Friday’s Caius. This boat contained several such readjustments occur every so Bumps Charts Courtesy race. No-one on the towpath expected Blues and Goldie colours – only two of often. An influx of talented and keen of Tim Granger Dave Emery Dave Cathy Vigrass Cathy 27 19 June 2003 May Week Review A www.varsity.co.uk Newnham win the Mays headship Bump and grind See inside for full bumps coverage Jet Photographic Jet

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Mike Mcquire at Mount Whitney Camp, Sierra Nevada, California. Photo: Cliff Leight WHERE ADVENTURES BEGIN