An Unusual Hansel and Gretel

By Minako Tomoka

A Malice Mizer Short Story

Mana and Klaha wandered through the forest, utterly lost in the sea of trees. They seemed to be walking around in circles, having strayed far off the path they originally entered from. Klaha, a nobleman, normally would never be caught dead tromping through the woods, but his effeminate boyfriend Mana insisted that they went out into the forest to pick blackberries for a pie he planned to bake. Despite his frail appearance, in his billowy black dress and thigh-high stockings, Mana was a man of very few words- in fact, Klaha had only heard him speak on a few rare occasions the whole time they had been together. He was also quite assertive when he wanted something, which was why they were currently wandering around in the woods, completely lost.

Sunlight was growing dim, and night would soon fall. If they didn't find their way home soon, they could be left clambering around in the dark, or even worse, forced to spend the night in the cold forest with the wolves and bears, neither of which was an appealing prospect. "If you had just listened to me and stayed on the path, we wouldn't be in this situation right now," Klaha complained. His elegant, expensive black clothes had been torn up by brambles and thorns. The wilderness didn't suit an aristocrat like him.

Mana said nothing, as to be expected, and instead led Klaha out into a clearing where a small house stood. Klaha was relieved at first. Perhaps whoever lived in the house knew the way back out, or maybe they could spend the night there until morning. Unfortunately, his joy soon faded when he got a closer look. The house wasn't any normal cottage in the woods. It was made entirely of candy and sweets, like a gingerbread house.

Mana's belly was rumbling, and he approached closer. "I'm not sure if that's a good idea," Klaha warned. "This place seems a bit strange...you know, I've heard something about a witch." Mana ignored his suspicious boyfriend's caution and went up to the candy house without a care in the world. He broke off a slice of chocolate from the siding and started eating it, then went to picking off cookies and bits of candycane. Klaha could do little more than watch, biting his lip in apprehension. He was quite hungry himself, as he hadn't eaten anything since breakfast and they'd been walking all day, but...something just didn't feel right about this.

Mana offered him a chocolate chip cookie he had picked off the windowsill. Klaha eyed it for a few moments, still suspicious, but soon enough his hunger took control and he gave in to his appetite. As he munched on the cookie, he became overwhelmed by its flavor, and went to pick off more candy from the house to eat. It was so good...he had never tasted such delicious sweets. He forgot all about his suspicion and became addicted, eating until his belly was stuffed and bulging.

Mana finally plopped down, having eaten so much that his pudged-out belly was about to tear through his dress. The boys became sleepy and made the unwise decision to take a nap right by the front door. Having gobbled up so much candy, they seemed to fall under some sort of spell that made them lower their guard and put them to sleep...

They didn't sleep for long though, as a large voice slowly stirred them awake, seeming to beckon them. "Hmmm...nibble, nibble, like a mouse...who's been nibbling on my house?" Klaha and Mana awoke to see thick glass in front of them, but it wasn't a window or anything normal like that...

It took the boys a while to become coherent, as they were disoriented from their drowsiness. They had a hard time figuring out exactly where they were. The world outside the glass looked like a kitchen, but everything was so much bigger and more imposing. A few knives and forks were scattered about on the counter, longer than their own bodies. Klaha looked up and noticed a rim of glass framing the ceiling above. As his groggy mind worked, he eventually realized. This place...it was indeed someone's home, the home of someone far bigger than themselves. And the thing they were trapped inside...it was a towering glass jar.

"T-this is bad...this is really bad," Klaha said. He grabbed Mana by the wrist. "Come on, we have to get out of here!"

The booming voice addressed them once again. "Just where do you think you're going?" An immense shadow cast over Mana and Klaha. The boys clung to each other as they cowered in fear. The shadow belonged to a looming, handsome giant with pale skin, sharp eyes, wispy brown hair, and bony fingers tipped by long black claws not unlike those of a predatory animal. His name was Gackt, and he wasn't actually a giant- he was a witch. His house of candy was meant to lure in unsuspecting lost travelers, who indulged in the sweets until they were stuffed and fell asleep, only to awaken shrunk in his kitchen, so he could cook them up and feast upon them.

Gackt licked his lips, briefly revealing his pointy teeth. "You two look absolutely scrumptious," he said. "It seems my candy did a wonderful job in fattening you up as well, so you'll be much more tender and delicious to eat..." He smirked at the sight of his prey's pudgy bellies, eager for the moment when he'd get to sink his fangs into them. He always preferred snacks with more meat on their bones.

Klaha was horrified. He started pounding on the glass, trying to knock over the jar he and Mana were trapped in. "We have no plans on being your dinner!" he barked. "Let us out of here right now!"

Gackt chuckled, his laugh shaking the air. "That's adorable, you still have stubborn pride, even though I'll soon be dining on you and your pretty boyfriend. Try all you like, but you can't escape. You'll just have to sit patiently and watch as I prepare dinner...which you two will have the honor of being part of."

Gackt had been preparing the meal while his prey was asleep, and he was nearly ready to add them. What he had in mind wasn't so much a dinner as it was a dessert. An enormous pie crust was prepared, and Gackt casually began scooping in the chopped apple filling, pretending as though he were simply cooking any normal food. Every once in a while, he glanced down at the jar, drinking in Klaha and Mana's terrified expressions as the horror dawned on them that they were soon about to be baked into his apple pie. Their attempts to climb out of the jar or slam against the walls to tip it over were utterly pointless. Once the witch's prey was shrunk to bite size, they had no hope of escaping his appetite.

Once he was ready, Gackt reached into the jar and plucked Mana between his clawed fingers. Klaha grabbed onto him, trying to pull him away from Gackt's clutches, only to slip and fall back down to the pit. "Let him go!" Klaha barked. "Please, there's no reason you have to do this!"

Gackt showed a toothy grin. "I don't need a reason. What's the reason for everyone else to eat? It's because they have to, right? And they want to...because food is delicious. Like most people, I find eating to be very enjoyable...especially when my meal is scared and wriggling." He reached in to grab Klaha, and even as the two flailed and protested, he dropped them into the sea of pie filling, allowing them to squirm and become stuck in the sweet, sticky substance. The scent of apples and cinnamon pervaded their senses. "I wonder if you'll taste like apples when you're finished cooking," Gackt mused. "I suppose I'll find out soon enough."

The oven was hot and ready, and the boys were sealed in darkness as Gackt put on the pie crust. He set it within and patiently waited. His method of cooking wasn't enough to make his prey suffer an agonizing death, because he liked to feel them squirm on the way down and stir in his belly once they reached their destination. It was just enough to cook the food and sap the energy from his small prey, leaving them drained and exhausted so they'd have no power to struggle once he began to feast upon them. It took a bit longer than normal, but the reward was more than worth the wait for him.

As the pie cooked, he inhaled the sweet scent, causing his stomach to rumble and drool to puddle up in his mouth. The apples and cinnamon mingled perfectly with the flavor of the two terrified aristocrats.

Meanwhile, for Mana and Klaha, they fumbled around in the sticky pie filling, trying to pry free to no avail. The heat trapped within made them sweat, and by this point the sweet smell became sickly enough to make Klaha want to vomit. It didn't take long for the boys to exhaust themselves, their energy drained, their bodies exhausted, and their willpower broken. They were being cooked up like food, and the witch was soon to devour them for his dessert. Mana clung to Klaha, and they laid there in the sweet slurry, awaiting the moment when the wicked witch would begin his feast...

At last, the time came for Gackt to enjoy his meal. He removed the pie from the oven, which was perfectly baked a crispy brown. After he took a few moments to let it cool, he wasted no time digging in, plunging his knife and fork just inches away from where Klaha and Mana were huddled. He tore out a large slice, steaming and dripping with sweet juices, then devoured it in a few large bites. The witch was ravenous, gobbling up whole slices of apple pie in just a handful of bites. He was going to eat the whole thing by himself, no doubt...but he was saving the most delicious part for last.

It was pure torture for the aristocrats, as they clenched up every time the fork and knife came down, hoping they wouldn't end up caught in it. Gackt had soon eaten most of the pie, and only one slice remained. "Both of you are utterly delectable...I can taste your mingling flavor in every bite. Don't worry, I don't plan to chew you up into bloody pulp. But you will get to stew with the rest of the meal down in my belly."

Klaha didn't know which was worse- being chewed up, or being digested alive. But he didn't have a choice in the matter, as once Gackt stole the last piece, it was the end. The witch took care to not bite into them, instead swishing them around along with the apple mush and saliva. The two rolled about, clambering around and trying to crawl to freedom, perhaps to have a chance to climb out of Gackt's jaws...but it soon became clear that wasn't going to happen.

They were swept away by the incoming landslide of pie slush as Gackt tilted his head back and gulped, sending them on the trip down his gullet. Klaha and Mana plopped into Gackt's belly, where they floundered about in the bubbling slosh of half-digested apple pie. A loud rumble echoed all around them, signaling the beginnings of digestion. "Just hang onto me!" Klaha shouted. Mana did as he was told for once and held onto his boyfriend with tears in his eyes, while Klaha desperately clung to a piece of crumbling pie crust. In his weakened state, he couldn't hold on long. The two boys, drained and weak from the cooking, lost their grip and sank beneath the slush, vanishing for good. The stomach began to process them and the rest of the meal, converting it all to nutrients for the ravenous witch.

Gackt retreated to the couch in the living room and sprawled out. He moaned at his fullness, and groped at his pudgy, bulging belly, which was gurgling loudly and working hard to digest his dessert. He hadn't stuffed himself so much in quite a while...he wondered just how much this sugary indulgence would add to his figure. He didn't mind a little extra softness in his tummy, especially if his snacks were as scrumptious as those two tasty little aristocrats currently stewing away in his gut, being reduced to nothing but soft, squishy belly fat for him to admire later...

The End... December 21st, 2020.