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2 e xotic magazine | x m a g . c o m e xotic magazine | x m a g . c o m 3 4 exotic magazine | x m a g . c o m exotic magazine | x m a g . c o m 5 6 e xotic magazine | x m a g . c o m e xotic magazine | x m a g . c o m 7 8 e xotic magazine | x m a g . c o m e xotic magazine | x m a g . c o m 9 1 0 exotic magazine | x m a g . c o m exotic magazine | x m a g . c o m 1 1 1 2 e xotic magazine | x m a g . c o m Issue #204 • Volume 17 • Number 12 June 2010 Copyright © 2010 xMAG LLC. NAKED TATTOOED Exotic® is a registered trademark owned by xMAG LLC. All rights reserved. Published monthly by xMAG LLC. FREAKS Circulation: 75,000 per month at 200+ sites hellzapoppin meets ink ‘n’ pink Mailing Address: 818 SW 3rd Avenue, Suite 1324 by doctor k Portland, Oregon 97204 page 20 Telephone: 503.241.4317 Fax: 503.914.0439 Email: [email protected] Exotic Online: www.xmag.com

Publisher PUSSY ‘N’ xMAG LLC.

General Manager WEED Bryan A. Bybee can you taste the difference? Editor by statutory ray John R. Voge page 30

Production / Design Guru Diego

Graphic Design Darkstar Graphics SEx TALK WITH Shawna Contributing Photographers JESSE JANE London Lunoux • HYPNOx AmbeRed • The Morty Photography how can it be bad? by sheena g Advertising page 50 Adam (503) 804-4479 Mariah (503) 827-8018 (ESCORTS) John Voge (206) 498-3056

Distribution Enrico Carrisco • Adam UNCOVERING Contributors Spooky x • J. Mack Deputy Andy • Scarlett x LA PINK Statutory Ray • Sheena G tattoo reality goes anal by deputy andy Cover Photography HYPNOx page 54

Cover Model Saphire from Cabaret II

Hair and Makeup Artist Sara Jane and Bethany

Exotic is not liable for any images of models used by advertisers to promote products or services. Rights and releases are the sole responsibility of the advertisers. All EROTIC CITY PG. 24 persons appearing in photos are over the age of 18. One copy of each edition of Exotic is available free to any person each month. Anyone removing magazines in bulk will EVENT CALENDAR PG. 25 be prosecuted on theft charges to the fullest extent of the law. Any reproduction of materials presented herein without the express written consent of the publisher is THE TOxIC MIxTRESS PG. 28 forbidden by law. In scientifi c case studies, reading Exotic magazine has caused certain undesirable side effects. Possible side effects include headache, dizziness, mild PIN-UP CALENDAR PG. 32 nausea, diahrrea, vomiting, rash, itching, hives, swelling of the lips and face, hair growth, hand tremors, gum swelling, higher blood pressure, increase in cholesterol THE INK ‘N’ PINK FINALS PG. 34 level, altered kidney function, swollen gums, acne, weight gain, blood in the urine, ﬂ uid retention, drowsiness, irritability, behavior changes, oily anal discharges, pre- WHATZ CRACKIN’ PG. 36 mature ejaculation, complete penile dysfunction, lupus, sleep apnea, lyme disease and certain strains of knee-jerk, violent, right-wing republican behavior. exotic magazine | xmag.com 1 3 1 4 e xotic magazine | x m a g . c o m e xotic magazine | x m a g . c o m 1 5 1 6 exotic magazine | x m a g . c o m exotic magazine | x m a g . c o m 1 7 1 8 e xotic magazine | x m a g . c o m e xotic magazine | x m a g . c o m 1 9 “We apologize for any inconveniences, but the Penguin we hate to admit it, Port- Boy will be on hiatus for a while due to an injury to his landers are absolutely Kidney problems.” The previous phrase (quoted verbatim), famished for eye and which currently sits atop a list of current (and healthy) ear candy that doesn’t touring performers, may sound like a Tom Waits lyric but is appeal to the Holocene actually an accurate summary of the tone that surrounds crowd. Timing for Ink Hellzapoppin. A touring circus that is one-part freakshow, ‘N’ Pink couldn’t be one-part Vaudeville and two-parts LSD, Hellzapoppin will more perfect, as the be performing at Dante’s alongside this year’s Ink ‘N’ Pink event tends to get the finalists on the night of Friday, June 11th. Although it may attention of many who be tough to take the attention away from a contest involv- would otherwise avoid ing tattooed strippers without disrupting the show (and strippers and/or tattoos. This year’s audiences will be given subsequently getting thrown out of the venue, sorry about an additional rare treat in the form of a genuine freak circus that guys), I anticipate that Hellzapoppin may possibly that brings just as much out of the audience as it does from give a few performers a run for their applause when they the stage. make their stop in Portland. Hellzapoppin ringleader Bryce “The Govna” Graves posi- As many locals know all too well, the Rose City is no tions himself as “a professional con-man and a womanizer stranger to weird. You know the rules, and so do I—to without peer—a pussy magnet that could give any rock star classify as “Portland,” you must appear to be as unique as a run for their money,” yet, “totally focused and swiftly possible without visible intention, conforming to a strict set climbing the ladder in the annoying copycat world of the of rules that accompany anyone seeking the classification entertainment business.” Immediately garnishing my own of “individual.” The trick is, as King Missile put it, to be personal respect for his business ethics and attitude toward “different like everyone else.” Last month, a local scenester the opposite sex, The Govna deserves the same sentiment paper released its list of the best new bands in Portland. The from regular, non-sexist honest citizens for recognizing the winner consisted of a geeky, chick-fronted indie rock band, imitative and frustrating nature of performance arts while at with the remainder of the list comprised of MGMT ripoffs or the same time promoting his own interpretation of Vaudevil- guy-fronted indie rock bands. The Portland Art Museum is lian craft with enthusiasm. presenting its edgy and racy interpretation of Othello, once According to the official website, those performing with again, for yet another year in a row and starring the same Hellzapoppin—the world’s largest traveling circus—are local thespians. Thrice weekly, you can even check out the “outsider artistic children that never grew up… true vaga- otherwise inaccessible goth/industrial culture with DJs who bonds [with] hearts filled with wanderlust. They travel upon all spin the exact same hard-to-find vinyl. a modern day pirate ship, steered by the hopes and dreams of Catching my drift here? Artis- artists willing to put themselves through whatever it takes to tic individuality may appear to find that spotlight that is their home.” Positioning themselves exist in P-Town, but the market in complete opposition with, oh pretty much any current artis over-saturated with the same ist or musician not touring with a freakshow (or having been old “different” shit. In reality, featured in Aural Stimulation), the Hellzapoppers (copyright the connoisseur of culture can Me, 2010) are truly dedicated traveling circus pirates com- only stomach so much indie rock mitted to the idea of a maintaining an appreciation of artistic and black-and-white photogra- expression, creativity and a free-spirited attitude toward a phy exhibits of the old Henry’s serious business. To think that such a phenomenon is “rare” building before losing their may be depressing, but it’s unfortunately true. In addition organically-grown, free-trade to the tattooed-tittied talent that will be taking stage at the lunch. Hence, you have a town Ink ‘N’ Pink finals, you may have the fortune of meeting the that is comprised of folks starv- following bastard children of Tom Waits and P.T. Barnum. ing for art coupled with a visible Although original in many senses of the word, the idea lack of starving artists. Although of a touring freakshow circus is not exactly untried, and

2 0 e xotic magazine | x m a g . c o m Hellzapoppin makes no claims to the contrary. Rather, the capology and related magical craft. troupe presents itself as a cohesive and self-contained whole The visually mystical is always a with homage and credit given where necessary. From Bar- welcome addition to the physically num and Bailey to Jim Rose and beyond, the evolution of the repulsive, and Hellzapoppin seems counter-cultural experience that is the traveling circus has to appreciate the entire spectrum. maintained a steady evolution and surprising permanence. John Shaw advertises his “most Sometimes strange (Wanderlust Circus), often amazing dazzling and bizarre” show as an (Cirque Du Soleil) and, on a local level, frequently anticipat- exhibition of the “seldom seen ed (Sinferno), circus troupes have survived a potentially le- marvels of human discipline.” By thal decade in terms of entertainment sustainability. As listed the looks of it, Shaw appears to on their (functional and up-to-date) website, Hellzapoppin be the Veesha of Hellzapoppin, a gives thanks to a participatory audience, further recognizing show-stealer not to be missed. “a lifestyle understood by a select few, a hundreds-of-years old tradition, a heritage carried on by modern day minstrels Lady Diabla and mountebanks that understand an artistic outlook (is) the There are more members of the Wu-Tang Clan than there ground zero of real show business.” are female sword swallowers in the world. Lady Diabla is The survival of the touring circus genre (specifically the not only one of them, but she is also credited as one of Las Hellzapoppin troupe) may be credited to the enthusiasm and Vegas’s most beautiful women. If you need to be sold on this zeal exhibited by its performers. Artist autobiographies and act, you are reading the wrong fucking magazine and might press kits in other facets of the entertainment genre (specifi- as well spend your Sunday night at mass. Witness this vixen cally musicians, although accomplices exist on Broadway as deep throat weapons, come back with a bad review and I’ll well as in art galleries) rarely acknowledge an owed grati- show you a person in serious denial. ‘Nuff said. tude toward the artistic craft that draws the audience to the live stage. Yes, you will find a list of acts that Hellzapoppin WWW.HELLZAPOPPIN.COM has performed with (Marilyn Manson and Slipknot have shared the stage with the troupe, often featured at otherwise music-centric festivals such as Warped Tour and Ozzfest) as well as the mandatory list of as-featured-on appearances (including The Tonight Show and National Geographic), but that is simply an introduction for virgin eyes. A complete list of performers, tour dates, press releases and contact information can be found at Hellzapoppin.com, but since you’re most likely reading a magazine because of inability to access the internet, I will introduce you to the current lineup you will run into at Dante’s on June 10th:

Zamora the Torture King With over two decades of displaying the abilities of “a disciplined mind and meditative techniques,” Zamora has helped mold the craft of the modern-day circus by doing everything from eating glass while skewering his own skin, to maintaining hot burns to the flesh after resting on a bed of nails. Although such extremes may be necessary to, say, land a date with an Exotic covergirl, you aren’t going to see any Zamora imitators casually hanging around the Saturday Market. The first sideshow performer to ever appear on a Las Vegas stage, Zamora has also participated in a 13-year-run at Knott’s Berry Farm Halloween events. From fully-grown children to immature adults, Zamora has entertained and astounded audiences of all back- grounds, and it will be a treat to watch all the body mod kids and piercing artists cringe at the sight of someone that takes the hobby to the next level.

John Shaw No, that’s not Voltaire, it’s John Shaw (and you won’t have to sit through any goth folk music while witnessing the spectacle that is Shaw’s self-described “geek show”). Presenting an act that claims to impact audiences for years to come, Shaw is a master of es-

e xotic magazine | x m a g . c o m 2 1 2 2 e xotic magazine | x m a g . c o m e xotic magazine | x m a g . c o m 2 3 Here we are knocking on the door of our 17th anniversary. We’re almost legal this month, and barely legal next month. Yet as much as things here at the mag have matured like a fine wine over the past 18 years, I can’t help but feel like I’m trapped in- side of some neverending loop of a twisted time-space continuum. My existence here at the magazine is clearly evidence of that. But rather than bore you with the usual rant this month, I’ll give a bit of an apology for last month’s tirade. Yep, I went and said some shit I shouldn’t have, again. No one complained, mind you, but after reading it the day after we went to press, I felt a little dirty and even I can have regret. The words on that page made it clear to me that I’m spending way too much time around the dancers (an obvious hazard of being a full-time DJ). What was supposed to be sarcastic wit simply turned into a tiresome assortment of drama, bitching and moaning. A 45-year-old man should set an example to the lovely naked ladies, not become one of them. With that, I’m putting myself on “groundation” (definition: when a stripper is naughty, she is forced to work day shifts until she has redeemed her evil ways). Now maybe I’m not going to banish myself to dayshift, but I will take a month off the bitter pill and just tell you all how much strippers rock. We wouldn’t be here without them for the past 17 years, now would we? With that, let’s all go ahead and celebrate the hotness of the upcoming summer months and welcome the Rose Festival fleet to our friendly clothing-defi- cient shores once again. Let’s make this the summer of love! We love strippers, sailors love strippers, strippers love money—it’s a simple equation. Now that we’ve figured that out, let’s move onto what looks like an action-packed, hot and sticky summer calendar coming your way this month. We’ll catch up next month with a very special edition of “Erotic City,” but right now I have to go get my prescription refilled for these happy pills. See you on Friday, June 11th at Dante’s for the Ink ‘N’ Pink finals along with the Hellzapoppin Sideshow Revue. This night promises to rock your world, don’t you dare miss it. Exotic loves you!

FEATURED EVENTS Prince tribute band, Erotic City WEEKLY EVENTS Sun. Jun. 6 - Stars Cabaret (Bridgeport) – Rockstar Showcase Wed. Jun. 2 - Stars Cabaret (Salem) – Stars and Stripes Party Sunday with new band contestants each week (through June 4th) with pole tricks, lap dances & hot apple pie! Dante’s – Deadstring Bros Thu. Jun. 3 - Taboo Video (New Pearl District location) – Grand Wed. Jun. 9 - Stars Cabaret (Bridgeport) – STRIPNOTIZED with Opening Weekend from June 3 – 6 – enter to wind door prizes and Reed McClintock the Illustrated Hypnotist gift cards including a $500 gift basket to satisfy all of your adult needs Fri. Jun. 11 - Dante’s – Exotic present the Ink ‘N’ Pink Finals featuring Fri. Jun. 4 - Cabaret I – 6 Year Anniversary Party with The Miss the top 10 tattooed finalists competing for $2,000 in cash, prizes Cabaret Contest first round qualifier – open to all entertainers – and the cover of Exotic magazine with special guests, The Hellza- call at least 3 days in advance to register – finalists will compete in poppin Side Show Circus. the finals for $6,000 in cash prizes! Cabaret II – 4 Year Anniversary Party with The Miss Cabaret Sat. Jun. 5 - The Pallas Club – Support the Troops Party – show Contest second round qualifier – open to all entertainers – call military ID for specials at least 3 days in advance to register – finalists will compete in Mystic Gentlemen’s Club – Strip Poker Run the finals for $6,000 in cash prizes! Stars Cabaret (Salem) – Purple Rain party with Sat. Jun. 12 - Hawthorne Strip – Graduation Party – dress as a naughty student or a sexy teacher for prizes – sponsored by Jagermeister, Total Domination IPA, Tennessee Red’s, Cathie’s & Straight to

2 4 exotic magazine | x m a g . c o m the Point Body Piercing Stars Cabaret (Bridgeport) – 2-for-1 Tuesdays Sun. Jun. 13 - Dante’s – Super Geek League (before Sinferno) Shimmers - $1 Taxi Dances Tue. Jun. 15 - Stars Cabaret (Beaverton) – Korn official concert WEDNESDAYS after-party Soobie’s Bar & Grill - Lingerie Wednesdays - 11am – 7pm with your favorite beautiful bartender Wed. Jun. 16 - Mystic Gentlemen’s Club – Booty Shaking Contest George’s Dancin’ Bare – Wild Wednesdays with something Thu. Jun. 17 - DV8 – MySpace Night (Facebook & Twitter followers wild and crazy each week! Stop by on the 19th for Dirty Dan’s welcome too!) – special discounts for our online friends & give- Birthday party! aways all-night long Stars Cabaret (Bridgeport) – Wet ‘n’ Wild Wednesdays Jody’s Bar & Grill – Contest Night (3rd Thursday of every month) Double Dribble Lounge – Topless Barmaids Montego’s – Playmate Pajama Party – stop by in your sweats, Stars Cabaret (Beaverton) – Free prime rib with paid admis- grab a bit and watch our sexy bunnies play naked Twister sion 6-9pm Fri. Jun. 18 - Cabaret III – Grand Opening Party with The Miss Cab- Shimmers – 2-for-1 lap dances aret Contest third round qualifier – open to all entertainers – call Stars Cabaret (Beaverton) – Free prime rib with paid admis- at least 3 days in advance to register – finalists will compete in the sion 6-9pm finals for $6,000 in cash prizes! THURSDAYS Dante’s – The Phenomenauts & Cookie Mongoloid Club Rouge – Rockstar Energy Drink Thursdays with $3 specials Sat. Jun. 19 - Dante’s – Drag The River & I Can Lick Any SOB In all night long The House George’s Dancin’ Bare – Thunder Thursdays with a ride in bike George’s Dancin’ Bare – Amateur Contest with $300 in cash prizes & car show, rock & roll music & specials from 9 - close Stars Cabaret (Bridgeport) – Stripperband Battle of the Bands FRIDAYS Stars Cabaret (Beaverton) – G.I. Joe’s and Barbie Ho’s V.I.P. Cabaret III – Male Revue starting at 9pm Mega-Party Soobie’s Bar & Grill - Lingerie Fridays - 11am – 7pm with your Sun. Jun. 20 - Dante’s – Hedwig & The Angry Inch favorite beautiful bartender Robyn Jody’s Bar & Grill – Double Trouble – 10pm - Midnight Thu. Jun. 24 - Mystic Gentlemen’s Club – Hot Summer Nights BBQ Spyce Gentlemen’s Club - $9.99 steak & lobster from 3pm-9pm Fri. Jun. 25 - Cabaret III –The Miss Cabaret Contest FINALS! SATURDAYS Come cheer on your favorite finalist and make her Miss Cabaret Jody’s Bar & Grill – Double Trouble – 10pm – Midnight & $1 of 2010 - $6,000 in cash prizes will be awarded to first, second table dances from Midnight till 2am and third place! Cabaret III – Male Revue starting at 9pm Sat. Jun. 26 - Hawthorne Strip – Luau Party with prizes for best Devils Point – Live music with sexy dancers Hawaiian shirt & best “coconuts” – sponsored by Mailbu, Absolut, SUNDAYS Tennessee Red’s, Cathie’s and Straight to the Point Body Piercing Dante’s – Sinferno Cabaret Rose City Strip – Frolics Superstore Blowout Party – giving away George’s Dancin Bare – Sexy Sundays plus Star & Lockette’s porn, lingerie and much more all-night long Variety Show from 9 - close Dante’s – Western Aerial CD Release Stars Cabaret (Bridgeport) – Rockstar Showcase Sunday with MONDAYS new band contestants each week George’s Dancin’ Bare – Minor Mondays featuring nothing but Devils Point – World Famous the sexiest young talent ages 18-20 Stripparaoke! The Pallas Club – Amateur Night The Pallas Club – Military Night – Glimmers - $1 Taxi Dances show military ID for specials Devils Point – Fire Strippers Glimmers – 2-for-1 lap dances Stars Cabaret (Salem, Bridgeport) – Free prime rib with paid admission 6-9pm TUESDAYS George’s Dancin’ Bare – Double Trouble Tuesdays with 2 girls on each stage from 9 - close Hard Candy (Salem) – 2-for-1 table dances Double Dribble Lounge – Topless Barmaids

exotic magazine | x m a g . c o m 2 5 2 6 exotic magazine | x m a g . c o m exotic magazine | x m a g . c o m 2 7 Yep, I’m back again to bash your brains in with literal liquor Now that you’ve had a Piece of A.S.S. and tried Knockin’ at lessons and toss around a few innovative drinks to kick off this Death’s Door, what’s left for you to explore? What every boy, bi- summer’s quest for heat. That’s right, this rainy city is bound to curious girl and lesbian want…Hot Lesbian Sex! That’s right, if get a heat wave this summer and, when it does, we’re going to cel- you didn’t burn the flesh from your face consuming the last two ebrate that wonderful ball of fire by throwing down some fantastic drinks, then pull up your pants, push back your sleeves and try flaming drink specials. this shot on for size. 1 part brandy, cherry Let’s start with a Flaming Piece of A.S.S.! 1 part brandy, peach 1 oz. Amaretto 1 splash rum, over proof/151 proof 1 splash rum, over proof/151 proof 1 part schnapps, peach 1 oz. Sour Apple Pucker Add equal parts of both brandies and the peach schnapps in a 1 oz. Southern Comfort shot glass, top with 151, set fire to it and serve. First layer the ingredients starting with the Amaretto, then Sour Apple Pucker and Southern Comfort. Next float the 151 rum, light I’ve got to admit, trying to find a topper for the last three was it on fire and shoot the drink. Not on fire of course, you want to pretty difficult. Instead of cramming another Morphine Drip or blow on that A.S.S. before you suck it down. Threesome down your throat, I’m going to give you the makings for what I think is possibly the sickest shot known to man. Na- palm Sticks to Kids is possibly the worst combination of liquor ever! Therefore, this is the shot you serve drunken assholes when they gruffly tell you to just make them something. It’s hilarious to watch the expression on people’s faces when you start the preparation of this equally evil-named drink. 1 part Aftershock 1 part rum, over proof/151 proof 1 stick beef jerky 1/2 tsp. Tabasco Sauce Shake liquid ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice. Strain into an old-fashioned glass. Add the stick of beef jerky (cut into a human figure). Then light it up! Well friends, that’s all the crazy shit I’ve mixed up for you this month. Keep your eyes out for next month’s edition of toxic mixes and we’ll see just how far down that hole you’re willing to go. If that sweet shot didn’t warm your tongue and tickle your senses, try Knockin’ at Death’s Door. This might be a little more than you bargained for. 1 tbsp. bourbon 2 oz. rum, anejo 2 oz. rum, gold 2 oz. rum, Jamaican 4 oz. rum, over proof/151 proof 2 oz. rum, red 2 oz. rum, spiced 2 oz. rum, white 2 cans 7-UP 3 oz. grenadine 3/4 can passion fruit juice 4 sugar cubes 2 scoops ice Add all ingredients, except sugar cubes and bourbon, into a chilled pitcher and mix. Add the ice last. To finish, take the four sugar cubes and melt them together to form one large cube. Take the tablespoon of bourbon and pour it onto the sugar cube, light it and set it on top of the ice in the pitcher.

2 8 e xotic magazine | x m a g . c o m e xotic magazine | x m a g . c o m 2 9 lthough written in ink and somewhat consistent with the pink theme, the true inspiration behind this month’s column comes from Lil’ Wayne, particularly his song “Pussy, Money, AWeed.” The relationship between money and the remaining two factors in question is clear: if you have one, you can easily purchase the other two. But what is the relationship, if any, between pussy and weed (aside from the fact that Lil’ Wayne apparently loves his bitch as much as all three of these things, which begs the question, is the initial variable something that his bitch is unable to provide)? The answer may not be obvious to the casual observer, but upon further examination it becomes clear that it’s all in the name. A Taste of Portland: Weed vs. Pussy I was picking up an ounce of the sticky the other week and the salesperson was going off about how irritated he is with having to keep up with the different names of weed. very worthwhile experience, but overexposure can result in aller- “Here,” he said while handing me a plastic baggy filled with mag- gic reactions and embarrassing visits to the doctor. Trainwreck is ical green medicine, “this shit is called Bumbleberry. Want to know the most commonly passed-around strain and is widely available to why? ‘Cause I just fucking named it that.” street consumers, especially on the west coast. “No relationship to blueberry or bubblegum?” I asked. “None whatsoever, it’s just good weed.” 4. Cabbage Patch: Playful yet robust, this variety is bushy and My buddy may have been correct in the assertion that naming weed untrimmed, emitting an earthy, cabbage-like taste. A common fa- is, for all intents and purposes, somewhat pointless outside of the vorite for hippies, organic food enthusiasts and pagans, this flavor “good,” “bad” and “Mexi” categories, but I felt as if the issue needed is easy to find at Hempfest and the Country Fair. Moist without the over-analysis required to pass off the knowledge as journalism. being too wet, Cabbage Patch does the job during the first few My weedman may have been quite jaded from years in the business, tastes but the flavor can become tiring and almost repugnant to the but several other sources were able to provide me with the supplies senses if used constantly. required to pose a counter-argument. What I discovered in the end 5. Purple Kush: Named for its unique color and texture, this pun- is that not only is marijuana able to be classified according to taste, gent variety is popular amongst the hip-hop subculture as well as in consistency, potency, smell and other aesthetic qualities, but the same heavily populated urban environments. Although Purple Kush can applies to the other variable in the Lil’ Wayne trifecta: pussy. So much, be quite expensive when properly manicured and raised on a healthy in fact, that pussy and weed might as well be first cousins. supply of nutrients, not all strains classified as such exhibit the same Don’t believe me? Take this test to see how much you know about qualities. Some users prefer the darker, more organic Kush, while the difference between blunts and cunts. Each of the following is others tend to favor lighter, mocha-colored varieties that come from either a legit classification of weed (according to available sources) Northern California. or a name for pussy that I made up for this article. Good luck! 6. Peach Soda: A smooth and refreshing variety that loses its 1. Sour Diesel: A fruity, viscous variety that is simultaneously unique flavor almost immediately after the packaging seal is broken moist and easy to consume. Well-trimmed as a result of years of for the first time (then it becomes flat and begins to lack density and professional curing and maturation secrets passed down from pre- crispness). Bright pink with no visible hair, Peach Soda is a personal vious generations, Sour Diesel is surprisingly good considering its favorite when in season (early Spring to late Summer). Extremely marketplace longevity and availability. Although one would think potent and able to provide a very quick rush to the senses, this va- that any specific strain would lose appeal after years of use, Sour riety is only available in the states in which the particular strain has Diesel always does the trick, especially after a glass of red wine and been legalized. Purchasing this off the internet is not recommended a long walk on the beach. Initially a top-shelf blend in terms of price, and may result in authorities showing up to your place of residence. the street value of Sour Diesel has deteriorated significantly over the Speaking With Malice: A Correction years, and a weekend supply won’t cost you more than the price of Last month, I published a scathing rant in which I claimed that dinner for two. most so-called dancers in this industry can’t actually “dance” to any- 2. Pier 39: Moist, dense, dark and humid, this particular blend has thing that they don’t hear seven times a day in the mall, and thus a very unappealing taste and smell that often goes undetected until customer requests should be taken with a grain of salt and a shot of you hit it for the first time. Because this is a very accessible strain whiskey. Sassy’s dancer Malice, a personal favorite as well as a co- that often packages itself under a different name, many users de- worker, called me out claiming that “it’s not that (she) can’t dance to velop a tolerance to (if not an appreciation for) the dank aroma that certain songs, it’s that she won’t dance to certain songs.” This makes can stay on your fingers for days after use. Some users may even perfectly good sense when considering the source, a performer that find seed fragments in mass-distributed varieties of Pier 39, these choreographs her sets (many of which fit a consistent theme). To should be removed before the substance is used. me, requesting a song for this type of performer is not the same as 3. Trainwreck: Be careful how much of this you put your lips on, suggesting one for the uninspired dancer that twiddles her hair with because the results can be devastating. Trainwreck users experience the same bored gaze in her eye regardless of who is (or isn’t) in the an intense physical reaction almost immediately upon contact with club. Thus, dancers like Malice who perform as if they actually give the strain—a highly aromatic variety that is hard to mask from the a fuck about what they do should be completely excluded from last senses. With proper precautions taken, this blend can provide for a month’s argument. The beatings will continue, however, until the lazy strippers follow in suit.

3 0 e xotic magazine | x m a g . c o m e xotic magazine | x m a g . c o m 3 1

3 4 e xotic magazine | x m a g . c o m e xotic magazine | x m a g . c o m 3 5 Hey loved ones, hope all is good with you and yours. As the weather starts to heat up, I figured I would heat up my column a little bit with the return of the Honey of the Month. Truthfully, it’s back by popular demand! Some of you that have checked out my last two articles have asked “Whatz up with the honeys, Mack?” I got a real special one for you. Also, for those of you hip hop heads in the P-Town and surrounding areas, I got a new CD for you to check out. Plus, I’ll let you in on whatz crackin’ around town and a few major events jumping off in June 2010. Break a nugget down, put it in something and let’s roll.

First Up, NORML Music few that are worth checking out (depending on what you’re into). NORML stands for the National Organi- For downtown strip clubs, I recommend Club Rouge and Spyce zation for the Reform of Marijuana Laws. Gentlemen’s Club. The service is excellent at both of these venues Since I recently became a member of the or- and the girls put on amazing stage performances. If you want to get ganization, I decided to create a CD that’s all your dance on and socialize, I suggest you check out Club Gossip. about cannabis. I linked up with my guy, Big They feature some of the best DJs in town and the atmosphere is Dub, who co-wrote the songs and produced real chill. For live music, check out the 915 Club on Wednesday the CD. We also are featuring the music of nights with the Tony Ozier Band. On Sundays at Gossip, I’ll be a young up-and-coming producer named Wonder Child. This kid has hosting the Ladies of the Industry Party with Flawless Productions. some of the tightest beatz that I’ve heard in a while. The homies, New Era and Jagga have a track on the joint as well. Together we’ve re- Party Picks for June leased a new CD titled NORML Music. You can check it out at www. On Wednesday, June 2nd, 2010 make sure you’re at the Gem- reverbnation.com/jmackandbigdub. Currently, we are giving away ini Birthday Bash at Club Gossip. Gossip is located at 113th and two free downloads for you to burn and roll to. Be sure to check out a Northeast Halsey. It will be hosted by yours truly and Franchise, track called “Get High” and another titled “Mary Jane,” available for along with ten beautiful “Flawless” ladies. It’s also my featured you right now. You can also log on to normlmusic.com and see more Honey of the Month’s birthday that night, so it’s going down for about our movement and our music. sure. Hope to see you there! On Friday, June 11th it’s the Official “All White Grown & Sexy Next Up, Concerts Galore Party” hosted by Brotha Luv & Company. Ladies and Gents come To those of you that enjoy live hip-hop shows, this month is with your flyest white apparel. DJ George will be spinning the cutz definitely on and crackin’ with a few that you don’t want to miss. and it takes place at the T&A Event Center near the Convention Here’s the line up for June 2010: Center on MLK Jr. Boulevard. - Friday, June 4th Coolio live at the Expo Center. - Saturday, June 5th E-40, Too $hort and Mack 10 live at the Salem Honey of the Month Pavilion. The June 2010 Honey of the Month -Tuesday, June 8th Bone Thugs-n-Harmony live at the Wonder is the extremely attractive Naomi of Ballroom. Flawless Productions. She’s one of the - Friday, June 18th KUBE 93 Summer Jam 2010 featuring Drake, sexiest female promoters in the town Trey Songs, Fabolous, The Game, Rick Ross and many more at the and we will be celebrating her birthday White River Amphitheater in Washington. bash real big. Congrats love. That’s a lot to choose from in a short amount of time, but I’m Make sure to check out my column sure I’ll see some of you at a few of them! Get your tickets and next month for details on my Honey let’s kick it. of the Month Contest. It’s coming to a club near you in July. Hit me up at Club Hoppin’ [email protected]. Until next As we have all noticed recently, the club scene is changing by month, y’all keep it crackin’. the minute. Some are closed down, some have opened with new One love, names and others have changed up their formats. I have listed a J.Mack

3 6 e xotic magazine | x m a g . c o m e xotic magazine | x m a g . c o m 3 7 . D C O L U R M B I A R D I V 5 N E 125 R TLA R M AR I O NE SSE N P D F E DEN R. ST. CO LUM BIA BL VD. PORTLAND 32 INTERNATIONAL 11 LO AIRPORT M B AR A D ST. I R PO RT W AY

S KY W 126 30 L 42 IN 118 114 KILLI N GSW ORT H E I L B 120 LV L D A . M 130 E T 21 T M SA E 29 ND

L Y 46 BL K V R NFIE LD E X D. I FREMONT ST. 148 BA P R V J E Y S S R SW PR E E A I O R Y N B GF N 134 1 I ELD L RD . S V . 2 T. D 137 181st D V 2 BL . Y n

D d N 27 A

A 55 S 106

A V HALSEY ST.

115 .

OREGON . CONVENTION 23 GLISAN ST. CENTER 45 RD . CORN EL L T. SID E S BURNSIDE ST. 52 43 60th MALL URN 45 B 3 205 . OREGON 9 D t ARK ST. 128 16 7 ST R ZOO h 35

A S 34 V E A N 131 . S V AR E D E . B 145 E 124 S W R . G Y DIVISION ST. 144 136 26 R 147 37 R 127 123 R A E N T. F 47 148 DIV ISION S D 28 S

. L 109 D A POWELL BLVD. 142 R L 15 N V YO O E 33 12 A N 134 H . . 38 140

C C D C O L U 101

W R M B I 134 51 S S 20 10 A R D I V 9 HOLGATE BLVD. N HOLGATE BLVD. E116 112 5 R JIGGLES 22 food THE SUNSET STRIP 37 food HEAVEN’S CLOSET 122 125 I LLSD ALE HWY. TLA 129 B EAVE RTON- H R M AR 7455 SW. Nyberg Rd | (503) 692-3655 10205 SW Parkway | (503) 297-8466 5429 SE 72nd Ave | (503) 537-7286 O IN DANCE CLUBS P 3 E SSE N D 131 36 14 108 F E DEN R. Mon-Thu 3pm-3am, Fri-Sat 3pm-4am, Mon-Fri 11:30am-2:30am, Sat 4pm-2:30am, Call for hours ST. CO 122 ACROPOLIS 1 food (5 miles west of 217) LUM BIA 40 Sun 6pm-3am Sun 5pm-2:30am HUNNIES 148 BL WO OD STOCK FOS 8325 SE McLoughlin | (503) 231-9611 VD. TE R 23 food 39 food 39 RD Daily 11am-2am JODY’S BAR & GRILL TOMMY’S TOO 3520 NE 82nd Ave | (503) 254-4226 149 PORTLAND . 32 INTERNATIONAL 12035 NE Glisan | (503) 255-5039 10335 SE Foster | (503) 771-3544 Daily 24 hours 11

blush 3 food C L AIRPORT E O M 130 Daily 7am-2:30am 123 D 139 4 137 Daily 11am-2am LIBERATED WORLD BA 5145 SE McLoughlin Blvd | (503) 236-8559 A R A M D S I 30 food R T. R 104 The Landing Strip THE VIEWPOINT 42 food 10660 SE Division | (503) 257-6881 PO Mon-Fri 11am-2:30am, Sat 4pm-2:30am, U H . R I T 6210 NE Columbia | (503) 281-3212 82nd & NE Killngsworth | (503) 254-0191 Daily 24 hours R L D W L R

R 31 A Sun 5pm-2:30am S Y

A B N Daily 10am-2:30am Mon-Sat 11am-2:30am, Sun 4pm-2:30am LOVE BOUTIQUE 124 L 1

4 food Y V 3 BOOM BOOM ROOM D O . S S 2 lucky devil lounge 47 food UNION JACKS 43 food 1720 SE 122nd | (503) 252-2017 KY E R 108 n 8345 SW Barbur Blvd | (503) 244-7630 L W 126 30 D L O d 42 633 SE Powell Blvd | (503) 206-7350 938 E. Burnside | (503) 236-1125 Mon-Thurs 10:30am-7:30pm, Fri 10:30am-9pm, IN 118 114 KILLI NGSW ORT H . W I Daily 2pm-2am S E 132 134 A B L Daily 7am-2:30am Daily 2pm-2:30am Sat 10:30am-8pm L V 120 BOTTOMS UP! 5 food V L 117 D A E 130 Lure Exotic Lounge 2 food 505 CLUB 45 food LOVE POTIONS 125 . M . 16900 NW St. Helens | (503) 621-9844 E T 21 T M SA 11051 SW Barbur Blvd | (503) 244-3320 505 NW Burnside, Gresham | (503) 666-2286 50425 Columbia River Hwy | (503) 543-7032 WASHINGTON E 29 ND

L Y Mon-Thu 12pm-12am, Fri-Sat 12pm-2am, 46 T BL . R E K FIE LD VD Daily 11:30am-2:30am D SQUARE R KI . N E X . Daily 11am-2:30am Sun-Wed 10am-12am, Thu-Sat 10am-1am Y R I FREMONT ST. NG R D 148 BA P R Sun 12pm-10pm RR V W J E FE Y S L S S R SW

MAGIC GARDENS 24 food 126 OL PR E E A

OH ZONE 8 6 food H I O R I Y C N B CABARET i S G L

F N 134 2 CLACKAMAS 1

I L 217 NW 4th | (503) 224-8472 W ELD L 6218 NE Columbia | (503) 284-4759 RD . V S n S 2 . 2 503 W Burnside | (503) 525-4900 T I D 181st . G 137 TOWN CENTER D 2 businesses V d L K B Mon-Sat 12pm-2:30am Sun 6pm-2:30am Daily 10am-3am . n E E Y A Daily 3pm-2:30am D d R R N SU N MARY’S CLUB 25 food ANGELSPDX.COM 101 OREGON THEATRE 127 27 A V N Y R A 7 food 55 S 106 S CABARET II I A B E D PK V HALSEY ST. E W V Y L . R 129 SW Broadway | (503) 227-3023 3533 SE 39th | (503) 727-3580 3530 SE Division | (503) 232-7469 E D

V . E 17544 SE Stark | (503) 252-3529 115 .

OREGON . Daily 11:30am-2:30am Fri & Sat 8pm-4am Daily from 12pm D Mon-Fri 12pm-2:30am Sat-Sun 3pm-2:30am CONVENTION 23 GLISAN ST. 26 food .

102 128 S CENTER 8 food MONTEGO’S ADULT VIDEO ONLY STORES PARADISE VIDEO C

CABARET III . W O Y U N 45 15826 SE Division | (503) 761-7293 Vancouver: 10620 NE 4th Plain Rd 14712 SE Stark St | (503) 255-9414 RD . T RY W N EL L CL 16323 SE McLoughlin Blvd | (503) 654-4935 CORH U B H D E ST. RD. IDE ST. 52 Daily 1pm-2:30am A SI BURNS (360) 253-2806 | Mon-Thu 8am-12am, Fri-Sat Daily 24 hours 60th C K N 43 MALL

Daily12pm-2:30am I R UR 45 L B 3 F US 205 52 food L M mystic gentlemen’s club 8am-1am, Sun 8am-11pm Paris Theater 129 I E W OREGON 9 46 food C . A

CASA DIABLO GENTLEMEN’S CLUB t B D Y C ARK ST. 128 16 7 ST A R ZOO h 35

A 9950 SE Stark St | (503) 477-9523 ALL ADULT VIDEO 103 6 SW 3rd Ave | (503) 295-7808 L L P S V 34 O V 2839 NW St. Helens Rd | (503) 222-6600 E A N O 131 . G S D V Daily 11am-2:30am R E U E 14555 SE McLoughlin Blvd | (503) 652-2004 Mon-Thu 11am-12am, Fri-Sun 24 hours W A D E .

B E Daily 4pm-2:30am . W 145 G 124 S S W R . S . 55 food D G H mynt gentlemen’s club Daily 24 hours PASSIONATE DREAMS (2) 130 Y R O DIVISION ST. 144 136 26 Club rouge 48 food R E R 127103 L 147 123 37 Y I R R K A N 3390 NE Sandy | (503) 208-2496 AREA 69 104 6644 SE 82nd Ave | (503) 775-6665 E R L A 116 E N T. 403 SW Stark | (503) 227-3936 F F 47 148 DIV ISION S P B 28 D. 22 50 S D Daily 3pm-2am 7720 SE 82nd Ave | (503) 774-5544 10518-B NE Sandy Blvd | (503) 252-5559 DURHAM R S E A L . L 8POWELVL BLVD. 109 Mon-Fri 3pm-2:30am, Sat 4pm-2:30am, D N A C 142 R L 15

NICOLAI ST. CLUBHOUSE 27 food N O V I D 53 Daily 10am-2am Daily 10am-4am O F O E 12 .

Sun 6pm-2:30am YO 33I H B A N 134 . C 38 140 13

2460 NW 24th | (503) 227-5384 BLUE SPOT VIDEO 106 PEEP HOLE / MR. PEEP’S (2) 131 C C R 101

food W E H 134 51 DANCIN’ BARE 11 S 20 S 10 W W HOLGATE BLVD. Mon-Fri 9am-2:30am Sat 11am-2:30am 3232 NE 82nd | (503) 251-8944 | Daily 24 hours 709 SE 122nd | (503) 257-8617 O HOLGATE BLVD. 116 9 8440 N Interstate | (503) 285-9073 112 L Y THE PALLAS 28 food 150 LSD ALE HWY. . 129 BLUsh boutique 20625 SW TV Hwy, Aloha OR | (503) 356-5624 B EAVE RTON- HI L Daily 11:30am-2:30am 3 13639 SE Powell | (503) 760-8128 611 SE Morrison St | (503) 481-8788 Daily 24 hours 131 36 14 108 DEVILS POINT 12 food 122 (5 miles west of 217) 40 Mon-Sa 11:30am-2:30am Sun 1pm-2:30am Mon-Fri 12pm-7pm Sat-Sun 12pm-5pm PRIVATE PLEASURES 132 TOCK FO 5305 SE Foster | (503) 774-4513 WO OD S STE 39 YT H E RD R R PIRATE’S COVE 29 food Brittani’s SECRET RENDEZVOUS 136 RS . D. Daily 11am-2:30am 10931 SW 53rd Ave. (off Barbur Blvd.) 149 F O 7417 NE Sandy | (503) 287-8900 12503 SE Division #C | (503) 285-5058 (503) 768-9235 | Daily 24 hours 9 food C doc’s club 82 E 130 Daily 11am-2:30am D 139 4 137

Daily 24 hours PussycatS 134 A M 4229 SE 82nd Ave | (503) 788-1500 R 104

RIVERSIDE CORRAL 31 food CASTLE MEGASTORE 108 3414 NE 82nd | (503) 327-8095 U H . I Daily 11am-2:30am R L D L R

R 31 545 SE Tacoma | (503) 232-6813 Portland: 9815 SW Capitol Hwy | (503) 768-9305 5226 SE Foster Rd | (503) 206-5656 S 13 food A B N THE DOLPHIN I L 1

Y Y V 3 D O Mon-Sat 10am-2:30am Sun 1pm-1am S 2 Sun-Thu 9am-1am Fri-Sat 9am-2am SW Barbur Blvd. @ SW 53rd Ave . E V

R E 17180 SE McLoughlin | (503) 654-9366 L 108 T ER n ROOSTER’S 32 food Beaverton: 10030 SW Beaverton-Hillsdale Hwy 10024 SW Canyon Rd | (503) 726-0807 D O AN d

. W S Daily 11:30am-2am S 132 134 M A 605 N Columbia | (503)289-1351 E V (503) 643-4065 | Sun-Thu 11am-10pm Daily 24 hours M 117 THE DOLPHIN II 14 food E Mon-Sat 11am-2am Sun 12pm-12am Fri-Sat 10am-10pm SHEENA’S G-SPOT (2) 137 O . 10860 SW Beaverton Hills. Hwy R I LA rose city strip 10 food 109 WASHINGTON T A R ED ND R CATHIE’S 3400 NE 82nd Ave | (503) 261-1111 . E L D. (503) 627-0666 | Daily 11:30am-2am D SQUARE R KI G R D. RY R H N 3620 SE 35th Pl | (503) 239-1004 8201 SE Powell #H | (503) 771-9979 8315 SW Barbur Blvd | (503) 244-6666 FER W DOUBLE DRIBBLE TAVERN 15 food OLL S W

H I 8 SC L Y

. 2 CLACKAMAS Daily 3pm-2:30am Daily 9am-12am Daily 24 hours W L

13550 SE Powell | (503) 760-7096 S 2 n I G TOWN CENTER

d SAFARI SHOWCLUB 33 food D.K. WILDS 112 SILVER SPOON 139 K Daily 11am-2:30am E E A R R SU N 3000 SE Powell | (503) 231-9199 V N Y 16 food 13355 SW Henry | (503) 643-6645 8521 SW Barbur Blvd | (503) 245-0489 R SI B DREAM ON SALOON E D PK W E Y . R Daily 11am-2:30am Daily 24 hours Mon-Sat 10am-7pm, Sun 12pm-5pm L D. 15920 SE Stark | (503) 253-8765 V SASSY’S BAR & GRILL 34 food EXOTIC NIGHTS BOOKS 114 THE SMOKE SHACK 140 D Mon-Sat 11am-2am, Sun 1pm-2am . S C 927 SE Morrison | (503) 231-1606 . W O 5620 NE MLK Blvd | (503) 493-3944 5030 SE Foster Rd | (503) 775-3646 Y U N eagle creek inn 53 food T RY W CL H U B Daily 10:30am-2:30am Mon-Sat 11am-Midnight, Sun 3pm-10pm Mon-Sat 8am-8pm, Sun 9am-8pm H RD. 25960 SE Eagle Creek Rd. | (503) 630-5373 C A K I R 40 food F L US shimmers gentlemen’s club 141 L Live Models: Mon-Sun 8am-3am SPARTACUS LEATHERS I E W M Daily 8am-2am C A

B Y C A 8000 SE Foster | (971) 230 - 0047 FANTASYLAND (2) 116 300 SW 12th Ave | (503) 224-2604 | Mon-Thurs L L P 51 food V O full moon bar and grill G O D E U Mon-Sat 9:30am-2:30am Sun 10am-2:30am 5228 SE Foster Rd. (503) 775-0094 10am-11pm, Fri-Sat 10am-12pm, Sun 12pm-9pm W . W G 28014 SE Wally Rd | (503) 663-0581 S . S D O H SOOBIE’S 35 food Daily 24 hours TABOO VIDEO (4) 144 R E 103 L Y K I Sun-Thurs 11am-12am, Fri-Sat 11am-2:30am R A N ER L 116 333 SE 122nd | (503) 253-8892 16014 SE 82nd Dr. (503) 655-4667 Downtown: 311 NW Broadway | (503) 227-3443 F P 38 food RD. 22 50 S B Glimmers Gentlemen’s Club DURHAM E A 8 L N C V Mon-Sat 11:30am-2:30am, Sun 4pm-2:30am Daily 24 hours Portland: 237 SE MLK Blvd | (503) 239-1678 O I D 53 3532 SE Powell Blvd | (503) 234-6033 O F I . 49 food B C 13 Spyce Gentlemen’s Club FASCINATIONS 117 Portland: 2330 SE 82nd Ave | (503) 777-6033 R Daily 11am-2:30am E H W W 33 NW 2nd Ave | (503) 243-4646 9515 SE 82nd Ave | (503) 774-4345 Vancouver: 4811 NE 94th Ave | (360) 254-1126 O Hawthorne Strip 19 food L Y . 1008 SE Hawthorne | (503) 232-9516 Mon-Sun 3pm-2:30am Mon-Thu 8am-1am, Fri-Sat 8am-2am, Daily 24 hours Daily 2pm-2:30am STARS CABARET Beaverton 36 food Sun 12pm-12am torched illusions 149 DOWNTOWN PORTLAND

4570 SW Lombard Ave | (503) 350-0868 FAT COBRA VIDEO 118 17935 SW Tualatin Valley Hwy | (503) 848-8546 NW 2ND AVE. HottieS 20 food RSYT H E RD. F O 10140 SW Canyon Rd | (503) 643-7377 Mon-Sat 11am-2:00am, Sun 4pm-2am 5940 N Interstate | (503) 247-DICK (3425) Sun-Thurs 11am-9pm, Fri-Sat 11am-10pm food STARS Cabaret bridgeport 50 Daily 10am-4am VALENTINE VIDEO 145 NW EVERETT ST. 24 SE 6TH AVE. SE 7TH AVE. Mon-Fri 1pm-2:30am, Sat-Sun 4pm-2:30am NW EVERETT ST. NW 4TH AVE. 17939 SW McEwan Rd | (503) 726-2403 FROLICS 120 2037 SE Hawthorne Blvd | (503) 505-7111 144 NW 3RD AVE. JD’S BAR ‘N’ GRILL 21 food NW DAVIS ST. NE DAVIS ST.

4523 NE 60th | (503) 288-9771 Mon-Sat 11am-2am, Sun 4pm-2am 8845 NE Sandy Blvd | (503) 408-9640 Mon-Fri 12pm-9pm, Sat-Sun 12pm-6pm 49 Daily 24 hours X-OTIC TAN 147 NW COUCH ST. V E

T E NE COUCH ST. Daily 11:30am-2:30am R A N S NE SANDY BLVD. 8431 SE Division | (503) 257-0622 W. BURNSI 6 M BURNSIDE BRIDGE DE ST. W. BURNSIDE ST. E 43 E. BURNSIDE ST. 141 129 M Daily 24 hours SW ANKENY ST.O 25 R I SE ANKENY ST. LA W SW ASH ST. A R ED ND R MOR SW WASH SW OAK ST. L D. RI H SON SW STARK ST. SW PINE ST. ST. W SE ASH ST. ING Y

TO . SE 13TH AVE. SW ALDER N ST. 48 SE PINE ST. SE 6TH AVE. SE 7TH AVE.

ST. SE MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. BLVD. SE 3RD AVE. 3RD SE SE OAK ST.

SE 2ND AVE.

SW 2ND AVE. SE STARK ST. SE 11TH AVE. SE 12TH AVE. SW TAYLOR ST. SE 14TH AVE. SE WASHINGTON ST. SW 3RD AVE. 144 SW 5TH AVE. MORR SW 4TH AVE. SW 6TH AVE. ISON B SE ALDER ST. SW BROADWAY AVE. RID 34 SW 14TH AVE. GE SW SALMON ST. SE MORRISON ST. 150 SW 13TH AVE.

SW 12TH AVE.

SW MAIN ST. SE 8TH AVE. SW 11TH AVE. SE BELMONT ST. SW 10TH AVE.

SE WATER AVE. SW MADISON ST. SW JEFFERSON ST. SE YAMHILL ST.

SE TAYLOR ST. SE 13TH AVE.

SE SALMON ST.

NW 2ND AVE. HAWTHORNE BRIDGE SE MAIN ST.

NW EVERETT ST. 24 SE 6TH AVE. SE 7TH AVE. NW EVERETT ST. NW 4TH AVE. SE MADISON ST. 144 NW 3RD AVE. DAVIS ST. NW NE DAVIS ST. 145

SE HAWTHORNE ST. 3 8 19 exotic magazine | x m a g . c o m NW COUCH ST. 49

NE COUCH ST. NE SANDY BLVD. W. BURNSIDE ST. W. BURNSIDE ST. 6 BURNSIDE BRIDGE 43 141 129 E. BURNSIDE ST. SW ANKENY ST. 25 SE ANKENY ST. W SW ASH ST. MOR SW WASH SW OAK ST. RI SON SW STARK ST. SW PINE ST. ST. SE ASH ST. ING

TO SE 13TH AVE. SW ALDER N ST. 48 SE PINE ST. SE 6TH AVE. SE 7TH AVE.

ST. SE MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. BLVD. SE 3RD AVE. 3RD SE SE OAK ST.

SE 2ND AVE.

SW 12TH AVE.

SW MAIN ST. SE 8TH AVE. SW 11TH AVE. SE BELMONT ST. SW 10TH AVE.

SE WATER AVE. SW MADISON ST. SW JEFFERSON ST. SE YAMHILL ST.

SE TAYLOR ST. SE 13TH AVE.

SE SALMON ST.

HAWTHORNE BRIDGE SE MAIN ST.

SE MADISON ST.

SE HAWTHORNE ST. 145 19 . D C O L U R M B I A R D I V 5 N E 125 R TLA R M AR I O NE SSE N P D F E DEN R. ST. CO LUM BIA BL VD. PORTLAND 32 INTERNATIONAL 11 LO AIRPORT M B AR A D ST. I R PO RT W AY

S KY W 126 30 L 42 IN 118 114 KILLI NGSW ORT H E I L B 120 LV L D A . M 130 E T 21 T M SA E 29 ND

L Y 46 BL K V R NFIE LD E X D. I FREMONT ST. 148 BA P R V J E Y S S R SW PR E E A I O R Y N B GF N 134 1 I ELD L RD . S V . 2 T. D 137 181st D V 2 BL . Y n

D d N 27 A

A 55 S 106

A V HALSEY ST.

115 .

OREGON . CONVENTION 23 GLISAN ST. CENTER 45 RD . CORN EL L T. SID E S BURNSIDE ST. 52 43 60th MALL URN 45 B 3 205 . OREGON 9 D t ARK ST. 128 16 7 ST R ZOO h 35

A S 34 V E A N 131 . S V AR E D E . B 145 E 124 S W R . G Y DIVISION ST. 144 136 26 R 147 37 R 127 123 R A E N T. F 47 148 DIV ISION S D 28 S

. L 109 D A POWELL BLVD. 142 R L 15 N V YO O E 33 12 A N 134 H . . 38 140

C C D C O L U 101

W R M B I 134 51 S S 20 10 A R D HOLGATE BLVD. I V 116 9 HOLGATE BLVD. 5 N E 112 125 R SD ALE HWY TLA 129 - HI LL . R M B EAVE RTON AR I O 3 NE SSE N P D 131 36 14 108 F E DEN R. ST. CO 122 (5 miles west of 217) LUM BIA 40 BL WO OD STOCK FOS VD. TE R 39 RD 149 PORTLAND . 32 INTERNATIONAL 11

C L AIRPORT E O M 130 D 139 4 137 BA A R A M D S I R T. R 104 PO U H . R I T R L D W L R

R 31 A S Y

A B N L 1

Y Y V 3 D O . S S 2 KY E R 108 n L W 126 30

D L O d 42 IN 118 114 KILLI NGSW ORT H . W I S E 132 134 A B L V 120 LV L 117 D A E 130 . M . E T 21 T M SA WASHINGTON E 29 ND

L Y 46 T BL . R E K FIE LD VD D SQUARE R KI . N E X . Y R I FREMONT ST. NG R D 148 BA P R RR V W J E FE Y S L S S R SW OL PR E E A

H I O R I 8 Y C N B S G L

F N 134 2 CLACKAMAS 1 W I ELD L L

RD . V S n S 2 . 2 T I 181st . G D 137 TOWN CENTER D 2 LV d K B . n E E Y A D d R R N SU N 27 A V N Y R A 55 S 106 S

I A B E D PK V HALSEY ST. E W V Y L . R E D

V . E 115 .

OREGON . D CONVENTION 23 GLISAN ST. .

S C CENTER

. W O Y U N 45 RD . T RY W N EL L CL CORH U B H D E ST. RD. IDE ST. 52 A SI BURNS C K N 43 60th MALL

I R UR 45 L B 3 F US 205 L M I E W OREGON 9 C . A

t B D Y C ARK ST. 128 16 7 ST A R ZOO h 35

L L

P S V 34 O V E A N O 131 . G S D V R E U E W A D E .

B E . W 145 G 124 S S W R . S . D G H Y R O DIVISION ST. 144 136 26 R E R 127103 L 147 123 37 Y I R R K A N E R L A 116 E N T. F F 47 148 DIV ISION S P B 28 D. 22 50 S D DURHAM R S E A L . L 8POWELVL BLVD. 109 D N A C 142 R L 15

N O V I D 53 O F O E 12 .

YO 33I H B A N 134 . C 38 140 13

C C R 101

W E H 134 51 S 20 S 10 W W HOLGATE BLVD. O HOLGATE BLVD. 116 9 112 L Y LSD ALE HWY. . 129 B EAVE RTON- HI L 3 131 36 14 108 122 (5 miles west of 217) 40 OD STOCK FOS WO TE R 39 RSYT H E RD. RD

149 F O . C

E 130 D 139 4 137

A M R 104

U H . I R L D L R R S 31

A B N L 1

Y Y V O 3 D S . E V 2

R E L 108 T ER n D O AN d

. W S S 132 134 M A E V M 117 E

O . R I LA WASHINGTON T A R ED ND R . E L D. D SQUARE R Y R H KI NG R D. FERR W OLL S W

H I 8 SC L Y

. 2 CLACKAMAS W L

S 2 I n G TOWN CENTER

d K E E A R R SU N V N Y R SI B E D PK W E . R Y L D V .

S C

. W O Y U N T RY W CL H U B H RD. C A K I R F L US I L E W M C A

B Y C A

L L P V O G O D E U W

. W G S . S D O H R E 103 L Y K I RR L A N 116 FE RD. 22 50 S P B DURHAM E A 8 L N C V O I D 53 O F I . B C 13 R E H W W O L Y . DOWNTOWN PORTLAND NW 2ND AVE. RSYT H E RD. F O

NW EVERETT ST. 24 SE 6TH AVE. SE 7TH AVE. NW EVERETT ST. NW 4TH AVE. 144 NW 3RD AVE. NW DAVIS ST. NE DAVIS ST.

49 NW COUCH ST. V E

T E NE COUCH ST. R A N S NE SANDY BLVD. W. BURNSI 6 M BURNSIDE BRIDGE DE ST. W. BURNSIDE ST. E 43 E. BURNSIDE ST. 141 129 M SW ANKENY ST.O 25 R I SE ANKENY ST. LA W SW ASH ST. A R ED ND R MOR SW WASH SW OAK ST. L D. RI H SON SW STARK ST. SW PINE ST. ST. W SE ASH ST. ING Y

TO . SE 13TH AVE. SW ALDER N ST. 48 SE PINE ST. SE 6TH AVE. SE 7TH AVE.

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NEexotic COUCH ST. pullout - september | 39 NE SANDY BLVD. W. BURNSIDE ST. W. BURNSIDE ST. 6 BURNSIDE BRIDGE 43 141 129 E. BURNSIDE ST. SW ANKENY ST. 25 SE ANKENY ST. W SW ASH ST. MOR SW WASH SW OAK ST. RI SON SW STARK ST. SW PINE ST. ST. SE ASH ST. ING

TO SE 13TH AVE. SW ALDER N ST. 48 SE PINE ST. SE 6TH AVE. SE 7TH AVE.

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SE HAWTHORNE ST. 145 19 The Office coosay b 3 South Riverside / (541) 772-4079 Full Bar, Full Menu HAVEN DR. N A LOCK E Bachelor’s inn Mon - Fri Noon - 2am, Sat & Sun 2pm - 2am HAZELGREEN RD. NE 63721 Edwards Rd / (541) 266-8827 1 Stage, Full Bar, Full Menu KEIZER EXIT

260B Mon - Sat 4pm - 2am, Sun 6pm - 2am newport V

E Spice Video R

A 611 SW Coast Highway / (541) 574-6969

corvallis

L N Videos, Magazines, Multi-Channel Arcade

N Adult Shop 24 Hours / 7 Days E 2315 9th St NW / (541) 754-7039 PORTLAND RD. NE Videos, Magazines, Books, Novelties, Arcade, Lingerie 10am - 2am / 7 Days redmond

RIVER RD. N the fan G eugene 413 SW Glacier Ave / (541) 548-4441 2 Stages, Full Bar, Full Menu, Lottery, Pool Adult Shop W Sun - Mon 3pm - Midnight, Tues - Sat 3pm - 2am A ERTON RD. L M SILV 290 River Rd / (541) 688-5411 L A C E Videos, Magazines, Books, Novelties, Arcade, E E

R S Lingerie D . riceill h . PORTLAND RD. NE D N

R 24 Hours / 7 Days

N Adult Shop

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C Videos, Magazines, Books, Novelties, Arcade, Lingerie (Rice Hill Exit #148 Off Of I-5) EXIT 726 John Long Rd / (541) 849-3344 WEST 256 Mon - Thurs 8am - 12am, Fri - Sat 24 Hours SALEM Videos, Magazines, Books, Novelties, Arcade, Lingerie E K Adult Shop T ST. N 24 Hours / 7 Days MARKE 86784 Franklin Blvd / (541) 636-3203 B J Videos, Magazines, Books, Multi Ch. Arcade, Novelties, Lingerie 8am - Midnight / 7 Days roseburg CENTER ST. NE CENTER ST. NE 17TH ST. NE B&b Distributors filled with fun 710 W 6th Ave / (541) 683-8999 2498 Old Highway 99E S (541) 957-3741 Videos, Arcade, Clothing, Novelties, Novelties, Videos/Rentals, Arcade, Toys, Magazines ST AT Viewing Room (Watch Or Be Watched!) E S T. 24 Hours / 7 Days Mon - Sat 9am - Midnight, Sun Noon - Midnight D STATE ST. Imagine That springfield

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S S B & B Adult Video

. .

T Videos, Magazines, Toys, Lotions & Creams

F D 2289 Olympic St / (541) 726-7317 S

L N 24 Hours / 7 Days

A Videos, Arcade, Clothing, Novelties, Viewing Room

I O

C D R THE NILE

13TH ST. SE

R EXIT 24 Hours / 7 Days

E O I 253 C M 1030 Highway 99 / (541) 688-1869 Brick House

O Bar, Food, Dancers C 136 4th St / (541) 988-1612 25TH ST. SE N. SANTIAM HWY T Mon-sat 12noon - 2am, Sun 3pm-12am U Full Bar, Full Menu, Dancers, 1 Stage & 2 Cages!

12TH ST. SE R N Silver Dollar Club E Mon - Sat 3pm - 2:30am R 2620 W 10th Pl / (541) 485-2303 R D Castle Megastore . Beer & Wine, Food, Dancers W/ 3 Stages S F E 3270 Gateway / (541) 988-9226 A IR Mon - Sat 11:30am - 2:30am, Sun 6pm - 2:30am L V Videos, Magazines, Toys, Novelties, Clothes I S H E W . Sun - Thu 8am - 2am, Fri & Sat 8am - 3am D IN R D U Y gervais Club 1444 S T TRIA R L D E R 1444 Main St / (541) 726-7299 B I . L S Last Chance Saloon

E Full Bar, Full Menu, Dancers And 1 Stage 12157 Portland Rd / (503) 792-5100 Mon - Sat Noon - 2:30am, Sun 3pm - 2:30am Beer, Wine, Lottery W/ 1 Stages Exclusively Adult Sun - Thu Noon - Midnight, salemD. SE LV 1166 South A St / (541) 726-6969 B LER Fri - Sat Noon - 2:30am KUEB Videos, Mags, Clothes, Novelties, Arcade F Spice Video E Adult Shop 24 Hours / 7 Days 155 Lancaster Dr SE / (503) 585-8288 3473 Silverton Rd / (503) 370-7080 Videos, Magazines, Multi Ch. Arcade, Lingerie Videos, Magazines, Multi Ch. Arcade klamath falls phil’s clubhouse 24 Hours / 7 Days 24 Hours / 7 Days 1195 Main St / (541) 741-0402 The Alibi Full Bar, Full Menu, Lottery, 2 Stages, Pool Adult Shop G Stars Cabaret B 5711 S 6th St / (541) 882-0145 3113 River Rd / (503) 390-4371 1550 Weston Ct NE / (503) 370-8063 Shakers Bar And Grill 1 Stage, Beer and Wine, Lottery 1195 Main St / (541) 736-5177 Videos, Magazines, Multi Ch. Arcade, Lingerie Full Bar, Full Menu, Sports Room, 4 Stages Mon-Sat 3pm - 2:30am, Sun 3pm - Midnight 10am - Midnight / 7 Days Mon - Sat 11am - 2:30am, Sun 4pm - 2:30am Full Bar, Full Menu, Dancers Noon - 2:30am Daily Adult Shop I 2410 Mission St S / (503) 763-3556 lincoln city sweet illusions Videos, Magazines, Multi Ch. Arcade, Lingerie albany 1836 South A St / (541) 762-1503 24 Hours / 7 Days Beach Girls Full Bar, Full Menu, Lottery, 2 Stages Adult Shop 1410 NW 14th St / (541) 994-7300 Bob’s Adult Books D 3404 Spicer Dr SE / (541) 812-2522 18+ Over, Lingerie Modeling 3815 State St / (503) 363-3846 Videos, Magazines, Books, Novelties, Arcade, 24 Hours / 7 Days Adult Books, Videos, 63 Ch. Arcade and Mini- thealles d Lingerie Imagine That Ii theatre 24 Hours / 7 Days Adult Shop 9am - 2am / 7 Days 2159 NW Highway 101, Suite C / (541) 996-6600 Videos, Magazines, Toys, Body Jewelry, Novelty Gifts 3506 W 6th St / (541) 298-1874 Eve’s Boutique H Sun - Thu 10am - 10pm, Fri - Sat 10am-mid Videos, Magazines, Books, Novelties, Arcade, Lingerie 5530 Commercial St SE / (503) 763-6754 astoria 8am - 2am / 7 Days Videos, Magazines, Lingerie 24 Hours / 7 Days Annie’s uppertown Tavern 2897 Marine Dr / (503) 325-1102 medford Eve’s Boutique M umatilla Beer & Wine, Dancers, Full Menu, Lottery Adult Land 3593 Silverton Rd NE / (503) 385-8111 Mon - Sat 4pm - 2am Lingerie, Clothing, Books, Gifts, Novelties 2755 South Pacific Highway / (541) 770-5493 The kookie Jar Mon - Thurs 10am - 12am, Fri - Sat 10am - 2am Videos, Magazines, Toys, Novelties, Arcade, Lingerie 1226 6th St / (541) 922-9300 Mon - Thu 9am - 10pm, Fri & Sat 10am - Mid. 1 Stage, Juice Bar THe Firehouse A bend Sundays 10am - 9pm Wed - Sun 7pm - Close 5782 Portland Rd NE / (503) 393-4782 Imagine That Full Bar, Full Menu, Lottery Adult Shop the riverside 11am - 2am / 7 Days 197 NE Third St / (541) 312-8100 261 Barnett Rd / (541) 772-5220 1501 6th St / (541) 922-4112 Videos, Magazines, Toys, Body Jewelry, Novelty Gifts 2 Stages, Beer and Wine Hard candy J Videos, Magazines, Books, Novelties, Arcade, Lingerie 24 Hours / 7 Days Tues - Sun 6pm - 1:30am 940 Commercial St NE / (503) 365-2802 Pleasure World 24 Hours / 7 Days Full Bar, Full Menu, 2 Stages Adult Shop Mon - Sat Noon - 2:30am, Sun 4pm - 2:30am 1843 NE 3rd St / (541) 317-9723 Videos, Novelties, Lingerie, Books 3340 North Pacific Highway / (541) 776-9964 Did We Miss A Location? presley’s playhouse L Open 9am - 2am Daily Videos, Magazines, Toys, Novelties, Clothes 3803 Commercial St SE / (503) 371-1565 Stars Cabaret Mon - Thu 10am - 9pm, Fri & Sat 10am - 10pm, Let Us Know! Full Bar, Full Menu, Light-Up Dance Floor And Pole Closed On Sundays Sun - Thurs 2pm - 2:30am, Fri - Sat 2pm - 4am 197 NE 3rd St / (541) 388-4081 PHONE: 503.241.4317 Full Bar, Full Menu, Beautiful Dancers Castle Megastore Pussycats K Mon. - Sat. 11am - 2am, Sun. 4pm - 2am 1113 Progress Dr / (541) 608-9540 FAX: 503.914.0439 3767 Market St. NE / (503) 363-0401 Pussycat Ranch Videos, Magazines, Toys, Novelties, Clothes 18+ Over, Lingerie Modeling 9am - 1am / 7 Days EMAIL: [email protected] 24 Hours / 7 Days 21280 Tumalo Pl. / (503) 383-8874 18+ Over, Lingerie Modeling 24 Hours / 7 Days 4 0 e xotic magazine | x m a g . c o m 4 8 exotic magazine | x m a g . c o m e xotic magazine | x m a g . c o m 4 9 Bad sex is such a disappointing event and few of us like to mean come on. Only take like two.” I asked “How did it go the discuss it. Bad sex is also more frustrating when the person second time?” She said, “Still nothing!” The cameras and Jesse brags and boasts about their talents before the deed. I hear made him nervous and he couldn’t get it up…again. “Damn Jes- women complaining about it more often than men. During a se,” I said, “I was hoping you were going to tell me he redeemed recent interview, I had a famous pornstar tell me about her bad himself.” “Nope,” she said, “I’m not going to try anymore with sex experience. Can you imagine how bad a guy has to feel not him.” As I stood there listening to her story I imagined having the being able to put it down on Jesse Jane? opportunity to fuck Jesse Jane and not being able to get it up— Jesse Jane did a signing at Taboo Video and I arrived early what a fucked up feeling to live with. enough to get a chance to interview this super porn vixen. Jesse Bad sex is one of those things that you can’t let stay that way has been in a number of movies, such as Fly Girls and Pirates. I ladies and gentlemen! This month I want to touch base on the im- was so pleased to find out how open and sweet she is. There are a portance of fixing any “bad sex” label you have obtained. If any lot of people who get famous and become conceited or even plain of you have been the “two-minute man” please hurry up and fix rude. Jesse is a hot, cool, All-American chick! She looked smokin’ that label. It’s just simply ugly when women talk about how crappy in her white tanktop and jeans as she greeted a long line of salivat- men are during sex. Believe me, they will talk about you forever. ing men and eager women awaiting her signature. Before all this Women are very descriptive and stories get detailed. began, we were able to get a live video interview and pictures for Stripperland TV. Here are a few sex tips for the men to keep in mind: I asked her several questions, like how she got into porn. She - Do not have too many viagras or it will have a reverse effect. explained she loves to fuck and is good at it. She smiled, laughed - Let your mind wander to something else if you feel you will and bounced her big tits around during all the questions. The cam- release too quick. era man and photographer could barely keep their focus during - Release your self before—like an hour before—so you last longer. the process. The men waiting looked hungry for Jesse and horny - Don’t go weeks without releasing. Handle that weekly or even as hell—it was like they were all in a trance. There had to be an daily. Build up your sex drive limitations. all-time-high number of boners in that building that day. Imagine watching movies of one of porn’s hottest chicks fucking and then For the ladies: getting to see her in person. What stood out the most to me during - Always make sure you do several positions during sex. our interview was when I asked, “Jesse, what is your worst sexual - Use all your skills, such as oral, sounds during sex and use experience?” She smiled huge and began telling her story. She said those pussy muscles. that she had met a real hot Chippendale dancer that wasn’t a porn- - Build excitement, be nasty and don’t ever just lay there. Move star and told him she could get him on set. Of course he was inter- your body. ested. Jesse was all excited because he bragged about how good he - Keep in mind that men are visual, so move your hair aside dur- was and how he was going to rock her world. He also had a real ing oral sex and go for that “pornstar” look. big cock. Jesse said “I asked him, now you won’t have a problem - Keep a lube pack and lube up if you don’t get those sugar once the cameras come on?” She said he replied “Oh no, just wait, walls easily. I am all good…you’ll see. I’ve banged four chicks at once in a hot tub.” Jesse said “Really, so you won’t be afraid?” He said no With the Rose Festival around the corner, there will definitely be and kept bragging about all the chicks he had banged. Jesse was a few one night stands cracking off in Portland. Ladies, remember totally excited for this sex to happen. She said he took four Viagras the hunky seamen of fleet week have been away for a while, so before the scene and when it came down to it—nothing. His cock don’t expect that incredible sex encounter on the first round. I hope wouldn’t even get hard. Instead he turned bright red like the pants these sailors are ready to eat a lot of pussy, because that’s what it he had on and looked like he was going to explode. Jesse really takes these days to keep women happy. Don’t go down on said “They had to call in a stunt the sailors too long, because you will get disappointed when he cock.” Whoa, a stunt cock for Jesse barely puts it in and it’s over. They do have some herbal Viagra at Jane? What a shame! The man has Cathie’s on Powell that you could slip into their drink if you want to live with that forever. They had to insure a good time. I’ve got proof it works! Stay tuned for my already filmed the dialogue, so the Jesse Jane interview on YouTube soon. I perform at the Hawthorne stunt cock worked. She was so Theater on June 10th. I will also be judging the Ink ‘N’ Pink finals disappointed. If you were to see at Dante’s on Friday, June 11th. Big shout out to KUFO for having Jesse in person, you would see a me on the Viva La Luna show. Big love to Devils Point for having gorgeous, care-free, fun-loving an amazing pin-up girl contest. To all of you reading, keep sending woman. She joked and laughed me your emails, I love it. Have a great month and keep your sex about how the next time hot and at full throttle. she saw him, they tried again. She said All good things, “Four Viagras? I Sheena G [email protected]

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x m a g . c o m | exotic magazine

In 1984, the only things people thought hardcore punk had in common with hardcore porn were circle jerks and vibrators. In 2010, there is an emerging scene that combines the best of both those anti-establishment facets. Alternative- pornography or alt-porn has become one of the fastest grow- ing and most original subgenres to come out of adult entertainment. There is no one more identified with the scene than Joanna Angel. While studying English and film in the early 2000s, Joanna started the website BurningAngel.com from her Rutgers University dorm room. Ms. Angel quickly made a name for herself by not being the kind of pornstar you’d see in the magazine stash your old man hides in the tool shed. Her tattoos and pension for punk fashion along with her slightly geeky but ever-adorable smile have solidi- fied her as one of the most original and unique performers, not only of today, but in the history of adult entertain- keeping in contact with our staffers via email and Twitter. ment. Working as the For this we are truly grateful to them and will say that Exotic mastermind behind the looks forward to the possibility of working with Joanna in Burning Angel em- the future. But until that time comes, we’ll talk about one of pire, Joanna has put her fuck-movies. out a line of punk- and LA Pink A XXX Porn Parody: With the recent trend of tattoo-themed adult TV show spoofs throughout the porn industry, Joanna Angel movies (a few of which decided to parody a show that she actually appeared on, LA she’s directed), sex toys and Ink. In the DVD special features, Joanna says that LA Ink Burning Angel magazine. is a “ridiculous show with a bunch of sob stories of why Her looks aren’t the only thing people get their tattoos and I thought it would be a lot better that set her apart from the rest with people banging in it.” Apparently it might not be the of the flock, she is notoriously smartest idea to invite Joanna Angel and Kat Von D to the known for her down-to-earth same barbecue, but she does a great porno impersonation of demeanor and having a sense of her as Joanna Von Angel. Joanna plays the lead role of one humor about herself and the work of LA’s most famous tattoo artists who just can’t get good she does. ink done until she’s buzzed her vag with the tattoo gun. The In honor of Ink ‘N’ Pink, movie does a great job of turning the show on its head, pok- Exotic had the prospect ing fun at everything from the perceived drama in the shop of talking to Ms. Angel to the ridiculous tattoos people decide to get (we’ve all seen personally for a phone them). The plot thickens as Joanna is approached by Shawn interview. Because of Michaels, CEO of a frozen pizza company, Party Pizza, scheduling problems Inc., and his assistant played by and the logistics of James Deen who wants to market a making contact with line of tattoo-themed frozen pizzas her, the interview didn’t with her face on the box. There’s really get the chance only one obstacle, due to her image to happen and Joanna problem, Joanna’s contract states soon became the Roger that she cannot tattoo anyone or Smith to our Michael engage in any type of sexual behav- Moore. Just so there’s ior for the duration of her contract. no confusion, despite Does she sellout to the corporate being unavailable for an fat-cats or does she stay true to her interview, the record should state punk rock roots? (It wouldn’t be a just how cool Joanna Angel and her porn movie if she made the wrong publicist Brian Gross were to us by decision.) Story aside, Joanna even

5 4 exotic magazine | x m a g . c o m seems to have an unconventional approach to her sex scenes Masturbation Nation and looks like she is genuinely having fun in them rather 7: In this conceivably than just trying to give her best fake orgasm. Joanna can gonzo-style peepshow, keep your attention in the sex scenes even if your dick isn’t Tom Byron displays his in your hand or your fingers aren’t in your pussy. The movie hottest talent rubbing works to rub your rocks out to and it’s also the kind of porn it out with glass dongs, you can watch drinking beer with your buddies. Although vibrators and even just it might not be the most popular of the porn TV parodies their hands. It offers a out there, it’s one of the most unique and entertaining ones. variety of over 20 girls, Besides, did you seriously think you’d see a spoof of a show including Abby Lane, on TLC other than John and Kate Bang Eight? Carmen McCarthy, Flower Tucci and Jackie Daniels. Although it might not immediately grab you attention in the porn shop or be a land- mark achievement in the Tom Byron is one of the few stars from the Betamax-era history of adult cinema, of adult entertainment who has been able to have a substan- Masturbation Nation 7 is tial career for almost three decades while staying true to his a substantial straight-to-the-point fuck movie that will easily hardcore roots. Known as The Great White Hope, Byron has put the tadpoles on your pant leg. Coincidentally, in keeping starred in the classic adult films Mounds of Pleasure and with our Ink ‘N’ Pink theme, there are some hot fucking tats New Wave Hookers (See Exotic #200 for review). Byron on one chick in this film. kept a solid performing career well into the early 2000s, until he took a brief leave to focus on directing and heading his Tom Byron’s Black Ass own distribution company, Evolution Erotica. These days, Fixation 3: Byron shows he might be a little more Dr. Dre than he is Flock of Seagulls, his best collection of but he came back to performing and proved that he’s still on black girl booty with his A-game and is still one of the top contenders both in front the third installment of and behind the camera. his Black Ass Fixation series. Showcasing the Hit Me With Your Best hottest black chicks seen Squirt: Other than the outside a Melvin Van title being a half-ass pun Peebles film, this movie of a Pat Benatar song, shows the natural assets Hit Me With Your Best of black chicks as well as Squirt is proof that getting the ability to make want- fucked under the Reefer to-be white boys jealous Madness poster in Tom’s of the natural advantage living room has become that black guys carry a benchmark for any in their pants. The film up-and-cumming porn- delivers pounding, done star. Cover girls Charley to performers like Candi Chase and Kayme Kai do Dreamz and Precious (not the same Precious from the Acad- a pretty nice three-way emy Award winning film, but she kind of looks like it). For in the opening scene and the white-upper-middle class whose idea of cutting lose is prove that the guys in going to their kid’s soccer games or attending a Sheryl Crow fuck movies aren’t the concert, this movie might give them a small idea of what only ones who can give a kind of fucking is going on in the Executive Residence with money-shot. In another scene, Lexi Love politely cleans up the Barack and Michelle. Nobody said that Tom Byron wasn’t mess she’s made by licking her secretions off the camera lens. a patriot. Though many sex therapists still argue whether female ejaculation can be achieved by every woman, this movie shows that the chicks who can do it make it look pretty fucking hot.