Cujo, One of the Best Dogs, Ever
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RETEND I’M SITTING ACROSS FROM YOU. I’m smiling. On shitty grey, beer-stained carpet that I had before, but it’s smooth. I’ve the outside, I’m calm, affable. Inside, I’m deeply angry. mentioned this to all my guests. No one’s impressed. My kite’s been in a tree. As of late, there’s been a Last issue, after picking up the mail and on my way to drop P seemingly endless chain of mishaps. off our master copy at the printers, I pulled in front of a car, and I wanted the little last bit of honey out of the squeeze whanged its front bumper completely off. The lady, understandably, bottle. The lid leaked and honey slowly oozed out on the other side was pissed. It was totally my fault. I spent the next three weeks in of the counter. A week later, I found out that the high rotation section junk yards. With the help of many good friends, (Thanks Chris and of my records were sticky. Not an entirely awesome way to pull out Brandy. Thanks Bruce.) I got all the parts and totally boy scouted it. a Regulations record; sticking to Otis Redding, then plopping onto The replacement was better than the original. At the end, it was about the ground. 1/10th of what it would have cost if I had taken it to a body shop. I’ve been battling cockroaches and termites for the past six years Getting back to zero is an accomplishment in and of itself. What in this apartment. (Razorcake’s run out of two bedroom apartment. I does this have to do with this zine? Everything. sleep in one; the rest has been over-run by making Razorcake.) The Pretend I’m sitting across from you again. Smiling strangely. I’m bug guy, Caesar, came by and sprayed them good; pushed those little clenching a knife between my teeth. I’m pissed—about my brother UXQWVEDFNWRWKHLUKLGLQJSODFHV7ZRGD\VODWHUIRUWKH¿UVWWLPHHYHU being in Iraq, about the consolidation of media, about how many I scrunched two on the ceiling. This was almost as disconcerting as small things in my life must go wrong. I’m one of the nicest angry ¿QGLQJDPRPPDURDFKRQWKHNLWFKHQZDOOKHUEDFNVSHFNOHGZLWK SHRSOH\RX¶UHERXQGWRPHHW%XWWKDW¶VQRWHQRXJK,KDYHWR¿JKW the movements of over twenty baby roaches hanging on like tumors. it myself, not just complain. I’m not saying there’s a light at the end The crunch was satisfying, I have to admit. of any of this. I’m saying that if you build it, it can’t help but be a I was also facing possible eviction for refusing to remove part of you. Keep getting smarter and better, because the charm of everything in the apartment so they could replace the carpet. The city grassroots disorganization and empty complaints wears thin when of L.A. had purchased this disintegrating apartment complex and ground up by forces mightier than you’ll ever be. wanted to check off whatever’s on their lists to avoid lawsuits. I told When all this bad stuff was happening, we hammered away at them that my place is like a Chinese puzzle box. It would take a good another issue that I’m mighty proud of, and we’re one step closer to three days to disassemble all of the crates, cubbies, and desks to get not letting it all slip away. through the front door, not to mention the silliness of it all. We made If you and I don’t, who will? a compromise. Move my front room into the kitchen—which took a day—so they could stretch the wrinkles out. Now, I have same, –Todd AD DEADLINES AD SIZES THANK YOU: Chew it up, then smooth out the creases thanks to • Full page, 7.5” wide, 10” tall. Jessee for nailing another cover for us; 160 tiny Chinese heads ISSUE #36 • 1/2 pg: 7.5” wide, 5” tall. thanks to Amy Adoyzie for the Billy Childish layout, whilst in November 1st, 2006 • 1/4 pg:, 3.75” wide, 5” tall. China; Gentleman Squirrel thanks to BD Williams for the Billy ISSUE #37 • 1/6 page, 2.5” wide, 5” tall. Childish interview; and, fuck, look at that balanced, pointy mous- January 1st, 2007 • Please make all checks out to tache thanks to Mike Plante for the Billy Childish photos; Drunk Razorcake. blowdart thanks to Ben Lybarger, Sherry Cardino, and Keith Email [email protected] • We only accept electronic ads. Rosson for the Feelers interview, pictures, and layout; Glass eye, for rates and full details. • All ads are black and white. pizza, and free guitars thanks to thanks to Joe Evans III, Rudy Our ad rates are super duper. • We don’t reserve ad space. Olivarez, and Uri Garcia for the Loved Ones interview, pictures, Cover designed by Jessee Vidauree, www.zeroxed.com and layout; Probably going to be remembered as the Sun of the Cover photos by Todd Taylor new millennium thanks to Julia Smut and Miss Erika for their Larry Hardy interview and picture; In this zine, size don't matter “To those who see that by not playing and not giving in... they win.” thanks to Parker H. Hasting and Aaron Kahn for the Whiskey & from "Don't Bury Me... I'm Not Dead," –Riverboat Gamblers Co. interview and photos; people painted all silver are mimes in my book thanks to Megan C. Brooks for her photo in Liz O.'s col- This issue is dedicated to: Cujo, one of the best dogs, ever. R.I.P. umn, Mitch Clem has captured Nardwuar's soul in comic form. Thanks; Serpents of rock thanks to Rafael Avila for his illustra- tion in Dale's column; Joey Ramone, if he were made of Play Contact Razorcake via our fancy website: www.razorcake.org Doh, kinda melty thanks to Terry Rentzepis for his illustration in N{}rb's column; If they've got cooties, get your shots thanks to Mor Fleisher, Ryan Leach, Stacy Smilanick, Chris Devlin, Daryl Gussin, Gary and Katie Hornberger, and Kat Jetson for helping out with the big mailout; "You no like my band. You're a yellow journalist and I'll sue you," thanks to Keith Rosson, Greg Barbera, Mike Frame, Sara Isett, Stevo, Daryl Gussin, Comrade Bree, Ryan Leach, Donoftime, Jennifer Whiteford, Jessica T., Chris Devlin, Jimmy Alvarado, Susan Chung, Mr. Z, Josh Benke, Cuss Baxter, Jenny Moncayo, Sean Koepenick, Aphid Peewit, Joe Evans III, Ty Stranglehold, and Kurt Morris for their reviews. TODD THANKS: Joe Meno and Todd Dills, two of the best touring buddies I could ask for... and Emily for the gunny sack of muffins prior to a fourteen-hour drive. Cujo: friend and confidante of Julia Smut. Some dogs are people. Cujo was one of them. May there be endless slices of freshly roasted turkey for you... Issue #35 December 2006 / January 2007 PO Box 42129 Los Angeles, CA 90042 www.razorcake.org WE DO OUR PART COLUMNS 4 Liz O. Guerrilla My Dreams 7 Art Fuentes Chico Simio 34 40 8 Jim Ruland Lazy Mick 10 Gary Hornberger Squeeze My Horn 12 Amy Adoyzie Monster of Fun 44 50 15 Ben Snakepit Snakepit 16 Rev. Nørb Love, Nørb 20 The Rhythm Chicken The Dinghole Reports 22 Designated Dale I’m Against It 25 Kiyoshi Nakazawa Won Ton Not Now 26 Nardwuar The Human Serviette Who Are You? 28 Sean Carswell A Monkey to Ride the Dog 33 Dan Monick's Photo Page INTERVIEWS 34 Billy Childish by BD Williams 64 68 40 The Loved Ones by Joe Evans III 44 Larry Hardy by Ryan Leach and Todd Taylor 50 Bloodhag by Todd Taylor 64 The Feelers by Ben Lybarger 68 Whiskey & Co. by Parker H. Hasting FAVORITESANDREVIEWS 76 Top 5s People who don’t drive like total cocksuckers... 78 Record Nothing goes better with lo-fi than lo-brow... 106 Zine Musically, I’m into about 0% of what they’re covering, and I just couldn’t get over the creepy swimwear catalog aspect of it... 111 DVD A good movie to pick your nose and daydream to... Individual opinions expressed within are not necessarily those of Razorcake/Gorsky Press, Inc. Razorcake/ Gorsky, Inc. Board of Directors are: Todd Taylor, Sean Carswell, Dan Clarke, Katy Spining, Leo Emil Tober III This issue of Razorcake and www.razorcake.org were put together by: Todd Taylor, Megan Pants, Sean Carswell, Jenny Moncayo, Daryl Gussin, Skinny Dan, Chris Baxter, Amy Adoyzie, Keith Rosson, Juila Smut, Chris Devlin, Lord Kveldulfr, Ph.D., Joe Evans III, Ryan Leach, Susan Chung, Uri Garcia, Adrian Salas, and Hannah Cox. Razorcake is bi-monthly. Issues are $3.00 ppd. in the U.S. Yearly subscriptions (six issues) are $15.00 bulk rate or $21.00 first class mail. Plus you get some free shit. These prices are only valid for people who live in the U.S. and are not in prison. Issues and subs are more for everyone else (because we have to pay more in postage). Write us and we’ll give you a price. Prisoners may receive free single issues of Razorcake via Prison Lit. 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