RETEND I’M SITTING ACROSS FROM YOU. I’m smiling. On shitty grey, beer-stained carpet that I had before, but it’s smooth. I’ve the outside, I’m calm, affable. Inside, I’m deeply angry. mentioned this to all my guests. No one’s impressed. My kite’s been in a tree. As of late, there’s been a Last issue, after picking up the mail and on my way to drop P seemingly endless chain of mishaps. off our master copy at the printers, I pulled in front of a car, and I wanted the little last bit of honey out of the squeeze whanged its front bumper completely off. The lady, understandably, bottle. The lid leaked and honey slowly oozed out on the other side was pissed. It was totally my fault. I spent the next three weeks in of the counter. A week later, I found out that the high rotation section junk yards. With the help of many good friends, (Thanks Chris and of my records were sticky. Not an entirely awesome way to pull out Brandy. Thanks Bruce.) I got all the parts and totally boy scouted it. a Regulations record; sticking to Otis Redding, then plopping onto The replacement was better than the original. At the end, it was about the ground. 1/10th of what it would have cost if I had taken it to a body shop. I’ve been battling cockroaches and termites for the past six years Getting back to zero is an accomplishment in and of itself. What in this apartment. (Razorcake’s run out of two bedroom apartment. I does this have to do with this zine? Everything. sleep in one; the rest has been over-run by making Razorcake.) The Pretend I’m sitting across from you again. Smiling strangely. I’m bug guy, Caesar, came by and sprayed them good; pushed those little clenching a knife between my teeth. I’m pissed—about my brother UXQWVEDFNWRWKHLUKLGLQJSODFHV7ZRGD\VODWHUIRUWKH¿UVWWLPHHYHU being in Iraq, about the consolidation of media, about how many I scrunched two on the ceiling. This was almost as disconcerting as small things in my life must go wrong. I’m one of the nicest angry ¿QGLQJDPRPPDURDFKRQWKHNLWFKHQZDOOKHUEDFNVSHFNOHGZLWK SHRSOH\RX¶UHERXQGWRPHHW%XWWKDW¶VQRWHQRXJK,KDYHWR¿JKW the movements of over twenty baby roaches hanging on like tumors. it myself, not just complain. I’m not saying there’s a light at the end The crunch was satisfying, I have to admit. of any of this. I’m saying that if you build it, it can’t help but be a I was also facing possible eviction for refusing to remove part of you. Keep getting smarter and better, because the charm of everything in the apartment so they could replace the carpet. The city grassroots disorganization and empty complaints wears thin when of L.A. had purchased this disintegrating apartment complex and ground up by forces mightier than you’ll ever be. wanted to check off whatever’s on their lists to avoid lawsuits. I told When all this bad stuff was happening, we hammered away at them that my place is like a Chinese puzzle box. It would take a good another issue that I’m mighty proud of, and we’re one step closer to three days to disassemble all of the crates, cubbies, and desks to get not letting it all slip away. through the front door, not to mention the silliness of it all. We made If you and I don’t, who will? a compromise. Move my front room into the kitchen—which took a day—so they could stretch the wrinkles out. Now, I have same, –Todd

AD DEADLINES AD SIZES THANK YOU: Chew it up, then smooth out the creases thanks to • Full page, 7.5” wide, 10” tall. Jessee for nailing another cover for us; 160 tiny Chinese heads ISSUE #36 • 1/2 pg: 7.5” wide, 5” tall. thanks to Amy Adoyzie for the Billy Childish layout, whilst in November 1st, 2006 • 1/4 pg:, 3.75” wide, 5” tall. China; Gentleman Squirrel thanks to BD Williams for the Billy ISSUE #37 • 1/6 page, 2.5” wide, 5” tall. Childish interview; and, fuck, look at that balanced, pointy mous- January 1st, 2007 • Please make all checks out to tache thanks to Mike Plante for the Billy Childish photos; Drunk Razorcake. blowdart thanks to Ben Lybarger, Sherry Cardino, and Keith Email [email protected] • We only accept electronic ads. Rosson for the Feelers interview, pictures, and layout; Glass eye, for rates and full details. • All ads are black and white. pizza, and free guitars thanks to thanks to Joe Evans III, Rudy Our ad rates are super duper. • We don’t reserve ad space. Olivarez, and Uri Garcia for the Loved Ones interview, pictures, Cover designed by Jessee Vidauree, www.zeroxed.com and layout; Probably going to be remembered as the Sun of the Cover photos by Todd Taylor new millennium thanks to Julia Smut and Miss Erika for their Larry Hardy interview and picture; In this zine, size don't matter “To those who see that by not playing and not giving in... they win.” thanks to Parker H. Hasting and Aaron Kahn for the Whiskey & from "Don't Bury Me... I'm Not Dead," –Riverboat Gamblers Co. interview and photos; people painted all silver are mimes in my book thanks to Megan C. Brooks for her photo in Liz O.'s col- This issue is dedicated to: Cujo, one of the best dogs, ever. R.I.P. umn, Mitch Clem has captured Nardwuar's soul in comic form. Thanks; Serpents of rock thanks to Rafael Avila for his illustra- tion in Dale's column; Joey Ramone, if he were made of Play Contact Razorcake via our fancy website: www.razorcake.org Doh, kinda melty thanks to Terry Rentzepis for his illustration in N{}rb's column; If they've got cooties, get your shots thanks to Mor Fleisher, Ryan Leach, Stacy Smilanick, Chris Devlin, Daryl Gussin, Gary and Katie Hornberger, and Kat Jetson for helping out with the big mailout; "You no like my band. You're a yellow journalist and I'll sue you," thanks to Keith Rosson, Greg Barbera, Mike Frame, Sara Isett, Stevo, Daryl Gussin, Comrade Bree, Ryan Leach, Donoftime, Jennifer Whiteford, Jessica T., Chris Devlin, Jimmy Alvarado, Susan Chung, Mr. Z, Josh Benke, Cuss Baxter, Jenny Moncayo, Sean Koepenick, Aphid Peewit, Joe Evans III, Ty Stranglehold, and Kurt Morris for their reviews.

TODD THANKS: Joe Meno and Todd Dills, two of the best touring buddies I could ask for... and Emily for the gunny sack of muffins prior to a fourteen-hour drive.

Cujo: friend and confidante of Julia Smut. Some dogs are people. Cujo was one of them. May there be endless slices of freshly roasted turkey for you...

Issue #35 December 2006 / January 2007 PO Box 42129 Los Angeles, CA 90042 www.razorcake.org WE DO OUR PART COLUMNS 4 Liz O. Guerrilla My Dreams 7 Art Fuentes Chico Simio 34 40 8 Jim Ruland Lazy Mick 10 Gary Hornberger Squeeze My Horn 12 Amy Adoyzie Monster of Fun 44 50 15 Ben Snakepit Snakepit 16 Rev. Nørb Love, Nørb 20 The Rhythm Chicken The Dinghole Reports 22 Designated Dale I’m Against It 25 Kiyoshi Nakazawa Won Ton Not Now 26 Nardwuar The Human Serviette Who Are You? 28 Sean Carswell A Monkey to Ride the Dog 33 Dan Monick's Photo Page

INTERVIEWS 34 Billy Childish by BD Williams 64 68 40 The Loved Ones by Joe Evans III 44 Larry Hardy by Ryan Leach and Todd Taylor 50 Bloodhag by Todd Taylor 64 The Feelers by Ben Lybarger 68 Whiskey & Co. by Parker H. Hasting

FAVORITESANDREVIEWS 76 Top 5s People who don’t drive like total cocksuckers... 78 Record Nothing goes better with lo-fi than lo-brow... 106 Zine Musically, I’m into about 0% of what they’re covering, and I just couldn’t get over the creepy swimwear catalog aspect of it... 111 DVD A good movie to pick your nose and daydream to...

Individual opinions expressed within are not necessarily those of Razorcake/Gorsky Press, Inc. Razorcake/ Gorsky, Inc. Board of Directors are: Todd Taylor, Sean Carswell, Dan Clarke, Katy Spining, Leo Emil Tober III This issue of Razorcake and www.razorcake.org were put together by: Todd Taylor, Megan Pants, Sean Carswell, Jenny Moncayo, Daryl Gussin, Skinny Dan, Chris Baxter, Amy Adoyzie, Keith Rosson, Juila Smut, Chris Devlin, Lord Kveldulfr, Ph.D., Joe Evans III, Ryan Leach, Susan Chung, Uri Garcia, Adrian Salas, and Hannah Cox. Razorcake is bi-monthly. Issues are $3.00 ppd. in the U.S. Yearly subscriptions (six issues) are $15.00 bulk rate or $21.00 first class mail. Plus you get some free shit. These prices are only valid for people who live in the U.S. and are not in prison. Issues and subs are more for everyone else (because we have to pay more in postage). Write us and we’ll give you a price. Prisoners may receive free single issues of Razorcake via Prison Lit. Project, c/o Bound Together Books, 1369 Haight St, SF, CA 94117 or Books to Prisoners, 92 Pike St., Box A, Seattle, WA 98101 (who don’t ship to CA prisons). Want to distribute Razorcake in the United States? The minimum order is four issues. You have to prepay. For $8.00, you’ll receive four copies of the same issue, sent to you when we do our mailout to all of our distros, big and small. Email [email protected] for all the details. There has to be a mistake on this page. There always is. Last issue, it said that Kat interviewed the Swing Ding Amigos. “No amount of overly excited, I’M AGAINST IT probably overly GUERRILLA MY DREAMS intoxicated meat- heads could spoil LIZ O our weekend.”

Sunburns and Lemonade

“Sir, I don’t think you understand what I’m music festival experience. Megan did a deluge from my eyes, Megan sent me a text saying. I have to go to the bathroom. Now.” pretty good job of covering the action from PHVVDJH+HUSKRWRSDVVZDVRQO\JRRGIRU The security guard looked at me and shook the photo pit, where she stood for roughly WKH¿UVWVWDJHVRVKHKDGWRPHHWPHLQWKH his head like that negative nod could ward off ¿YHKRXUVLQGHJUHHZHDWKHUXQWLOVKH press area so that I could give her the keys SDQLPSHQGLQJÀRRG+HZDVQ¶WJRLQJWROHWPH was informed that nobody shoots Ozzy to the car and then meet her back inside the past the gate. I had the wrong wristband. Osbourne. Nobody. venue. Thanks to the girl I had met earlier, I “You can’t go into the VIP area,” Meanwhile, I quickly learned that found the security guard willing to let press he repeated. journalists covering big outdoor festivals inside the show. Then Megan and I spent all My voice grew louder and whinier by oftentimes don’t actually get to see said big of Ozzy’s Early Bird Special performance the word. “But there is no bathroom in the outdoor festivals. With two hours to kill ORRNLQJ IRU HDFK RWKHU :H ¿QDOO\ PHW XS press area. What am I supposed to do? Go EHIRUHP\¿UVWLQWHUYLHZ,WULHGWRJHWLQWR with each other on a slope patched with in the dirt?” the show so that I might actually observe the dead grass, where Megan kept her eye on +H VKUXJJHG OLNH WKLV PLJKW EH D band before I asked a round of questions. two young children who were left to fend for viable option. “Do you have a ticket?” asked a guy who themselves as their parents went on another I walked back over to the press area, I remain quite certain is Wilford Brimley’s beer run. I might have been better off found the nice lady in security garb and told evil twin. backstage. At least backstage, I didn’t have her what happened. She said she would try “Sure,” I showed him a Ticketmaster stub. to scoot back in fear that the guy stumbling WRWDONWRKLPIRUPH+HUZRUGVUDQJGHDI “Did you pay for it?” and clutching his mouth might launch a in his ears. Apparently, the only thing that “Uh, no.” projectile vomit missile in our direction. We he might understand at this point was more “Then you can’t go in.” left shortly thereafter, worn ragged and with of my whining. +H ZDV ORVLQJ PH ,W ZDVQ¶W JRRG Megan enduring one of the ugliest sunburns “Look, I’m interviewing a band in enough that I was holding a non-transferable I had ever seen. ¿IWHHQ PLQXWHV , FDQ¶W ZDLW IRU D SUHVV concert ticket pulled from an envelope with In a Denny’s in Ontario, after spending HVFRUWWRWDNHPHLQVLGHVRWKDW,FDQ¿QGD my press credentials on it. Apparently, I had a half-hour in the bathroom blowing black port-a-potty and then wait for another escort to show a proof of purchase as well. snot from our noses and cleaning dirt from to take me out here again so that I can do I wasn’t ready to argue with the chief of under our nails, we shoved French fries in the interview. So, unless you want me to security for anything, so I resigned myself our mouths, discussed sunburns and the piss myself in front of [insert second stage to sitting under the tent in the press area tit-painting booth that charged according Ozzfest band here], you’re going to have to whilst scribbling in a notebook waiting for to breast size and swore that we would let me in to use the bathroom.” bands to arrive so that I could look at them never do this again. Then we remembered “Fine,” he answered. “Just this once.” and say, “Well, I could tell you that it was a that we were covering Warped Tour the In actuality, “just this once” meant that I great set, but the security guard wouldn’t let following Wednesday. could go one time before the free water and me watch.” Warped Tour is nothing like Ozzfest. VRGD ¿OWHUHG WKURXJK WKH V\VWHP RI HYHU\ In the press area, I befriended another Inside the Dodger Stadium parking lot, journalist in the press area and he had no writer and we swapped contacts in an attempt Megan and I stood out as the oldest people choice but to either let people into the VIP to maximize our list of quotes. The way I who were not chaperoning ten-year-old to use the bathrooms or spend the rest of ¿JXUHG LW DW WKLV SRLQW , ZDVQ¶W JRLQJ WR Rise Against fans. Outside of a few cans of the day wiping urine-tinged San Bernardino have anything to say about the show itself, Budweiser moistening the hands of some dust from his eyes. so I might as well interview as many bands of the musicians backstage, there was no Welcome to the summer festival season, as I could. This was where my background as alcohol to be seen in or around the lot. Since where you will spend hours at length a seasoned club kid actually came in handy. a self-estimated ninety percent of the crowd clutching your bladder as tightly as you grasp 7KH RQH EHQH¿W RI VPRNLQJ SDWLRV DW /$ DSSHDUHGWREHDWOHDVW¿YH\HDUVDZD\IURP WKDW¿YHGROODUELOOWKDW\RXUHDOO\GRQ¶WZDQW nightclubs is that it prepares you for making drinking age, this made sense. Maybe some to spend on yet another lemonade. conversation with people you wouldn’t know of the older folks had a problem with this 2]]IHVW ZDV WKH ¿UVW RI IRXU VXPPHU from a hole in the wall. Chat them up in but, the way I saw it, how can someone even festivals that my friend Megan and I just the right way and you might just hear think about alcohol when it’s this hot? covered this year as part of our self-imposed backstage stories so vulgar that you know Yes, it was actually hotter in the center of job description. We drove no less than two you can never place them in print. Los Angeles than it was several days earlier KRXUV WR +\XQGDL 3DYLOLRQ DW *OHQ +HOHQ In the end, I did get to see some of in San Bernardino. It was the sort of heat 'LUW)DUPHU,PHDQ*OHQ+HOHQ3DUNZLWK the concert. Sometime after I was hit by a where, no matter how lightheaded you feel, the intention of capturing the full outdoor GXVWVWRUPDQG¿QDOO\VWRSSHGWKHHQVXLQJ you still can’t eat because of the fear that the D avey Havok is like Morrissey. He makes 250 pound dudes cry. when we left Street Scene in the midst of an, er, altercation involving Tool fans in the pit who never learned the lessons of pre-school, such as keep your hands to yourself. No amount of overly excited, probably overly intoxicated meatheads could spoil our weekend though. Megan got to see Queens Of The Stone Age. I got to see Bloc Party and Editors. The temperature was just cool HQRXJKIRUXVWRHQMR\+RW'RJRQD6WLFN (my preference is actually for cheese on a stick). Plus, we discovered the world’s best lemonade. Barrett’s Lemonade, from +XQWLQJWRQ%HDFKIUHVKO\VTXHH]HVDPHDQ pulpy drink into a sugar-lined glass. A half- KRXUDIWHU¿QLVKLQJP\GULQN,ZDVVWLOOWU\LQJ to scoop up lemon sugar with my straw. After Street Scene, we knew we could never say never again when it came to summer festivals. Unbearable heat, rancid- smelling faux bathrooms and bottom barrel music fans simply do not deter from the thrill of rehashing the events to our friends ZKR ZHUHQ¶W WKHUH +RZHYHU RQ RXU WZR hour drive back to Los Angeles, I was convinced that this was my last major event of the summer (Megan was still set to cover Sounds of the Underground and Sunset Junction). I held fast to this knowledge for a few weeks, until I learned that Megan and I were going to Summer Strummer. Unless you count KROQ’s Inland Invasion, which I wouldn’t since it occurred RQWKH¿UVWGD\RIDXWXPQ6XPPHU6WUXPPHU was the last hoorah for L.A. summer concert season. Despite a sudden drop in temperature the week before the event, the heat rose to its usual mid-September high that afternoon. Fortunately, we were in Santa Monica’s Photo by Megan C. Brooks Bergamot Station, twenty-six city blocks meal might not stay put. Instead of eating, more time in the crowd. Or, more precisely, away from the beach, so there was a bit of \RX UHO\ RQ WKH ¿YH GROODU OHPRQDGH IRU more time running from stage to stage so a breeze and enough shady spots to get us sustenance, but no amount of tart, oversized that Megan could get her photos during the through the day. Plus, there were multiple GULQNVFDQTXHQFK\RXUWKLUVW

“That’s what’s left I’M AGAINST IT of New Orleans: LAZYLAZY MICK MICK a stump.” JIM RULAND New Orleans: One Year Later Eighty percent. That’s the number that friends whose home was one of the few This was a huge problem for the Navy. most people can’t get their heads around. VSDUHG E\ WKH ÀRRGV EXW ZHUH HYDFXDWHG 1RW RQO\ GLG WKH\ QRW KDYH HQRXJK ERDWV When Hurricane Katrina swept into New nonetheless. Their house is located directly they didn’t have the right watercraft for the Orleans and caused Lake Pontchartrain DFURVVIURP&LW\3DUNFORVHWRWKHFHQWHURI MRE:KHQ D VWDQGDUG ERDUG ODQGHG RQ WKH WR RYHUÀRZ DQG WKH OHYHH WR EUHDN HLJKW\ the city. Everything between the park and VKRUH WKH VROGLHUV KDG WR FOLPE RYHU WKH percent of the city was inundated with WKHVHDZDVÀRRGHGDQGPDQ\LIQRWPRVW JXQZDOHV RI WKH ERDW OHDYLQJ WKHPVHOYHV EÀRRGZDWHU(LJKW\SHUFHQWRI1HZ2UOHDQV of the neighborhoods are abandoned still. YXOQHUDEOH WR ¿UH $Q\RQH ZKR KDV PDGH LV HTXDO WR ¿YH 0DQKDWWDQV ,PDJLQH ¿YH 6HYHUDO\HDUVDJR,KDGDQRSSRUWXQLW\ the transition from dock to boat knows it 0DQKDWWDQV XQGHUZDWHU IRU WKUHH ZHHNV to explore a place very few people know can be a dicey proposition under the best of )RUJHW 0DQKDWWDQ (LJKW\ SHUFHQW RI DERXWDSODFHWKDWKDVEHFRPHYHU\VSHFLDO circumstances. Add a heavy surf and intense anythingLVDORW,I\RXORVWHLJKW\SHUFHQW WRPH6RZKHQWKHKXUULFDQHKLWP\¿UVW ¿UH DQG \RX KDYH D UHFLSH IRU GLVDVWHU ,Q RI \RXU KRXVH ZRXOG \RX VWLOO OLYH LQ LW" WKRXJKWZDVIRUP\IULHQGVDQGWKHLUIDPLO\ IDFWLWZDVQRWXQKHDUGIRUVROGLHUVORDGHG 2UWRSXWLWDQRWKHUZD\LI\RXORVWHLJKW\ and my next concern was for a museum down with heavy equipment to loose their SHUFHQWRI\RXUOHJZRXOGLWORRNOLNHDOHJ" unlike any other in the world. Like most footing in the surf and drown. )XQFWLRQDVDOHJ":RXOG\RXHYHQWKLQNRI SODFHVLQ1HZ2UOHDQVWKH1DWLRQDO:RUOG (QWHU $QG\ +LJJLQV 7KH EUDVK ORXG WKHUHPDLQLQJVWXPSDVDOHJ"7KDW¶VZKDW¶V :DU,,0XVHXPZDVVHYHUHO\LPSDFWHGE\ talking New Orleans native came up with a left of New Orleans: a stump. Hurricane Katrina. Located on relatively design that could be used to quickly deliver ,W¶V WRR PXFK 7KH VFRSH RI WKH high ground in the city’s Warehouse District personnel and their equipment to the beach. damage is too massive for the imagination VRXWKHDVW RI WKH 6XSHUGRPH WKH PXVHXP He designed an amphibious boat that could WR SURFHVV guns kind of museum. You’ll VHH D UHSOLFD RI D +LJJLQV ERDW airplanes hanging from the FHLOLQJ DQG SOHQW\ RI XQLIRUPV EXWWKHPXVHXPLVDERXWVWRULHV the trials and tribulations of ordinary Americans: men and ZRPHQ ZKR GURYH WUXFNV VHUYHG IRRG VWRRG ZDWFK DQG VRPHWLPHV DFFRPSOLVKHG DPD]LQJIHDWVRIFRXUDJH One of the unique things DERXWWKH1DWLRQDO:RUOG:DU,, 0XVHXPLVWKHYROXQWHHUV(YHU\ time you walk into the museum \RX ZLOO ¿QG DW OHDVW RQH :RUOG :DU,,YHWHUDQRQKDQGWRDVN\RX KRZ\RX¶UHGRLQJGHVFULEHVRPH DVSHFWRIWKHPXVHXPWR\RXDQG LI\RX¶UHOXFN\WKH\¶OOWDONDERXW their experiences. Real stories. /LYLQJ KLVWRU\ %HIRUH .DWULQD WKHUH ZHUH RYHU  :RUOG :DU YHWHUDQV ZRUNLQJ DV YROXQWHHUV but fewer than half have come You need to navigate the streets back to New Orleans since it re- using the hand-made street signs RSHQHG7KLVLVDKXJHORVVEXWDQ XQGHUVWDQGDEOHRQH,I\RXZHUH nailed to telephone poles. RYHUHLJKW\\HDUVROGZRXOG\RX come back to a ruined city with Eisenhower to announce that Andy Higgins thanks in large part to its oral history DQXQFHUWDLQIXWXUH" was the man who won the war. SURJUDP$Q\YHWHUDQRI::,,FRXOGPDNH 'U0XHOOHUZKRLVQRZWKHPXVHXP¶V This is where the story of the National an appointment with one of the museum’s SUHVLGHQW VHHV D ORW RI SDUDOOHOV EHWZHHQ :DU:RUOG,,0XVHXPWDNHVDWXUQ:LWKRXW historians and tell their story. They could the rebuilding of New Orleans and the WKH PDQ (LVHQKRZHU ZDV WDONLQJ DERXW DOVR GRQDWH DQ\ OHWWHUV UHFRUGV SKRWRV FDPSDLJQ DJDLQVW WKH 1D]LV %RWK HIIRUWV ''D\ ZRXOG KDYH QHYHU KDSSHQHG DQG XQLIRUPVRUVRXYHQLUVWRWKHPXVHXPZLWK were awesome tasks with a high risk of ZLWKRXWWKHPDQ(LVHQKRZHUZDVWDONLQJWR the pledge that they would be housed safely failure and enormous amount of uncertainty the museum would never have been built. and made available to both the family and to that could only be conquered if ordinary Eisenhower made these famous remarks VFKRODUV&RQJUHVVUHFRJQL]HGWKHLPSRUWDQW people pulled together and did whatever it QRW ZKHQ KH ZDV JHQHUDO EXW PXFK ODWHU ZRUNWKHPXVHXPZDVGRLQJDQGDXWKRUL]HG WRRNWRJHWWKHMREGRQH ZKHQKHZDV3UHVLGHQWRIWKH8QLWHG6WDWHV its expansion from being the only museum ,VDZWKDWVSLULWHYHU\ZKHUH,ZHQWWKH and the man he made them to was none other WKDW GHDOW ZLWK WKH ''D\ ,QYDVLRQ RQ DOO VKRUW ZHHNHQG , VSHQW LQ 1HZ 2UOHDQV WKDQ 'U 6WHSKHQ $PEURVH WKH ODWH JUHDW IURQWVRIWKHZDUWRWKH1DWLRQDO:RUOG:DU From community rallies in the Ninth KLVWRULDQ DQG DXWKRU RU GR]HQV RI KLVWRU\ ,, 0XVHXP FRYHULQJ HYHU\ WKHDWHU RI WKH :DUGWR KRPHRZQHUV JXWWLQJ WKHLU KRXVHV ERRNVPDQ\RIZKLFKZHUHPDGHLQWR¿OPV war. The museum undertook a massive $282 ZKLOH OLYLQJ RXW RI )(0$ WUDLOHUV WR P\ including Band of Brothers. Ambrose was million expansion plan. friend’s volunteer work at a school in her working on Eisenhower’s biography when 7KHQ GLVDVWHU VWUXFN )LUVW $PEURVH QHLJKERUKRRG,WZRQ¶WEHHDV\DQGLWZRQ¶W the president made his now-famous remark. FRQWUDFWHGFDQFHUDQGSDVVHGDZD\OHDYLQJ EHSUHWW\EXW1HZ2UOHDQVFDQJHWEDFNRQ Ambrose was a professor of History at the the museum without its leader. Then Hurricane its feet. 8QLYHUVLW\RI1HZ2UOHDQVDQGZDVÀRRUHG Katrina touched down on New Orleans and The best part about it is you can help WROHDUQWKDWVRPHRQHIURPKLVRZQEDFN\DUG MXVWOLNHWKDWHYHU\WKLQJFKDQJHG MXVWE\JRLQJWKHUH:KHWKHULW¶VWRDIRRWEDOO VRWRVSHDNKDGSOD\HGVRSLYRWDODUROHLQWKH :DONLQJLQWRWKHPXVHXP\RX¶GQHYHU JDPH DW WKH 6XSHUGRPH RU D 0DUGL *UDV liberation of Europe. Together with his close NQRZWKDWDOLWWOHRYHUD\HDUDJRWKHSODFH FHOHEUDWLRQ LQ WKH )UHQFK 4XDUWHU HYHU\ IULHQGDQGFROOHDJXH'U1LFN0XHOOHUWKH ZDV XQGHU VLHJH 7KDQNIXOO\ WKH H[KLELWV GROODU\RXVSHQGLQ1HZ2UOHDQVKHOSV,I two historians dreamt of opening a history and archives were neither damaged nor \RXJRMXVWEHVXUH\RXYLVLWWKH1DWLRQDO museum in New Orleans that would pay VWROHQEXWORRWHUVUDQVDFNHGWKHFRIIHHVKRS :RUOG:DU,,0XVHXPDQGZKHQDYHWHUDQ tribute to the million Americans who played and gift store. T-shirts and coffee machines shakes your hand and welcomes you to the DUROHLQWKH1RUPDQG\,QYDVLRQ7KH\NQHZ can be replaced. PXVHXP \RX¶OO EH UHPLQGHG RI MXVW KRZ they were working against the clock because /LNHPRVWDUWDQGFXOWXUDOLQVWLWXWLRQV great this country can be. more veterans were passing each year. WKH 1DWLRQDO :RUOG :DU ,, 0XVHXP 2QWKH¿IW\VL[WKDQQLYHUVDU\RI''D\ GHSHQGV RQ WRXULVWV WR VWD\ DÀRDW 7KH * * * WKH 1DWLRQDO ''D\ 0XVHXP RSHQHG LWV largesse of people like Tom Hanks and doors to the public. Attendance rose each year 6WHYHQ6SLHOEHUJDUHGRLQJDPD]LQJWKLQJV –Jim Ruland and the number artifacts—both on display to ensure that there are incredible things in DQG LQ LWV DUFKLYH ²JUHZ H[SRQHQWLDOO\ store for the museum—if it can stay open. 9 “Would you I’M AGAINST IT buy Lover Boy SQUEEZE MY HORN by looking at GARY HORNBERGER that guy?”

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11 “Do you feel cold? What a cold day! I MONSTER OF FUN think you should put AMY ADOYZIE on more clothes.” Crazy Chinglish Portland made me pale. I am reminded Even with the current modernization in A crossed-out question: of the months of gray when I look at my China, folks still be eating with sticks. How heavy are you? milky thighs that didn’t see much sun, hidden beneath beaten-up jeans. The * * * * * * sporadic showers that lasted nine months Pout of the year had me toting around my I am at the Huarong County Number One As far as teaching philosophies goes, umbrella at all times. Middle School as a foreign oral English teacher, I’m pretty kick back about the whole Chinese women carry umbrellas all plowing through twenty classes of Senior 2 affair. If you want to learn English, that’s over town too, to protect their precious students every week. It’s the equivalent to awesome! If you don’t care, that’s cool too. porcelain skin from darkening. While American sophomores, with classes averaging I respect a student’s apathy towards English shopping for body moisturizer in the capitol DERXWVL[W\¿YHNLGV(YHU\ZHHNPRUHWKDQD because I’m no linguistic imperialist, and FLW\ RI &KDQJVKD , VSHQW ¿IWHHQ PLQXWHV thousand little Chinesey teenagers, more than these poor kids are overworked as it is. searching through aisles of skin-bleaching two thousand slanted eyeballs staring at me Watching them struggle through ORWLRQWR¿QGWZRVPDOOERWWOHVWKDWZRXOG thinking one of two things, “Why won’t she China’s rigorous educational system not Michael Jackson my ass. I came to stop talking; I’m trying to sleep,” or “How can (when it’s accessible and available) gives China to get away from whitey, and here she speak English so well?” me a newfound appreciation for my own all the Chinkers wanna be like ‘em. There Initially, I was worried that the students seemingly busted, under-funded American was seemingly no escape, until I moved to were going to be disappointed when they public school experience. Huarong, a small countryside-ish city in saw me, someone who didn’t have a three- The kids here are up at dawn, lined up north Hunan province. dimensional face and blonde hair. But when LQ WKH EDVNHWEDOO FRXUWV DQG WUDFN ¿HOG WR China is making me brown. My arms, they wrote down questions for me, I learned do morning exercises at six AM. The last which have seen the most sun, have been that they were in fact pretty intrigued with my GLVPLVVDO EHOO ULQJV ¿IWHHQ DQG D KDOI KRXUV toasted a light mocha shade. The students yellow booty. later at nine thirty PM, when they all return on my campus and throughout Huarong to their dormitories before a solemn horn are darker than my arms. These folks, who Most frequent: SOD\VWKRXJKWKHVSHDNHUVDWWHQ¿IWHHQ30WR eek a living out beneath the sun rather than Do you have a boyfriend? Are you married? VLJQDOEHGWLPH&ODVVHVDUHIRUW\¿YHPLQXWHV ÀXRUHVFHQWOLJKWLQJFDQ¶WDIIRUGWRFDUHDERXW Are you Chinese? long, with eight periods where someone is their skin tone. They’re keepin’ it real. Can you sing a song for us? talking at them and two periods of study hall Amidst the renovation and slow Where were you born? (After I just told where they silently complete assignment after development of Huarong and its heaps of them I was born in L.A.) assignment. All day, the students sit, remaining construction debris, there are groups of ZLWKLQWKHFRQ¿QHVRIWKHLURYHUORDGHGGHVNV dark-skinned men napping on shaded, bare My favorites: toppling with books, with the occasional visit concrete sidewalks just inches away from What do you think of xiao Bush (“little” Bush)? to the science building for experiments or to their line of rusted bicycles with equally Do you feel cold? What a cold day! I think the ping-pong court for P.E. a few times a rusted shovels and spades strapped to the you should put on more clothes. week. The teachers move from class to class. back rack. Horse-drawn carts spot the Please tell us about love. In between, there is one half-hour exercise sidewalks and old folks still haul buckets Why did you tell us your age, age is a break, two hours for lunch, and another two dangling from a thin board across their secret for foreigners? for supper. But even that free time is usually shoulders. As the sun sets, street vendors What kind of man do you like best? spent studying from their long list of things pack corners of busy intersections with What is the most beautiful building in U.S.A? they must memorize and regurgitate. They do WKHLU PRELOH NLWFKHQ FDUWV DQG DUH ÀDQNHG :KHQLV\RXU¿UVWORYH" this seven days a week. Their one true break is by sets of pink plastic tables and chairs just Do you want to be a Chinese? on Sunday afternoons where they don’t have in time for dinner. Further down the road, How much money you have? classes for a few hours, but then they return at mothers squat on the cracked sidewalk as If Taiwan want to independent, what will six thirty for more evening studying. they bathe their children in buckets besides you do? It’s heartbreaking. the ubiquitous trash piles in the middle of Can you speak English a little more slowly? It’s China. With all its 1.3 billion people the road, in front of our apartment building, Why are you so perfect? and not enough universities to take them all and other random spots where its been What does the magazine’s name mean? in, the students work overtime to compete. deemed dump worthy. (Razorcake) Even with all its efforts in development +XDURQJLVMXVWRQHRIWKHLQ¿QLWHQXPEHU Why can you speak English so well? and becoming a world leader, China hasn’t of small Chinese cities rapidly developing to Do you like “Punk Rock” and Green Day? ¿JXUHGRXWDZD\WROHWWKHLUNLGVEHNLGV catch up to the 21st Century, trading trash Could you recommend some rock or punk –Amy Adoyzie heaps for another mobile phone storefront. band that you like or appreciate? amyadoyzie.com

“All I have is the I’M AGAINST IT damn sun in my LAZYLOVE, NORBMICKI eyes and TOOL in my ears.” REV. NORBI GUNS AT MY SCHOOL or HIGH SCHOOL,RAH RAH RAH Hi! I am in a car (note Meat Pupps ref). I need with this now that we know the ground rules. vile rock and roll high school—but it would my piece in to Todd by the end of the night. So, heck, i am on the way to the state cap to not be the kids bring down The Man, like in That will be tough. I am en route to a town, a meet with more vid game guys. That’s my job WKHÀLFN³5RFNµQ¶5ROO+LJK6FKRRO´WKDWZH two and a half hour drive from home. This now, as i have said in times past. Not a bad DOOORYH +(5(¶6$18767+,1*,GRQ¶W town can’t be named, but it has the state way to go so far. But, no more talk of this! know if i said this in a piece in times past, but dome. I can’t say the name of the town not so Let’s move on! To start for real, i must quote for a long time i thought that there is no way Hmuch ‘cause it would scathe my tongue to the band called DÜ (you know that band! that P. J. Soles [“P. J.” is two words. You can say it, but ‘cause this is writ on my lap top, From the Twin Burgs to my west! Two gay tell. I put a space in the midst of them so it which is two words (you’ll see why “lap top” guys, one guy not so gay [but looked the can’t be said to be wrong! So, guns and is two words in a bit). It is hard to write words part]). They had this live “Land Speed” thing, knives, take in lives, ha, fuck you, Jack!]— WKDWDUHJRRGDQGWKDWÀRZZKHQ\RXDUHLQ LWZDVWKHLU¿UVWIXOOOHQJWK,WKDGWKLVVRQJ ZKR SOD\HG 5LII WKH KRW JLUO LQ ³5RFN µQ¶ your friend’s car and he has TOOL on, but i called “Guns at My School,” which went 5ROO+LJK6FKRRO´²ZDVIRUUHDOQDPHG³3 try. This is where the shtick comes in: Since “WE GOT GUNS AT MY SCHOOL! WE J. Soles.” I mean, she must have changed her this ride has so much bump to it, and the GOT GUNS AT YOUR SCHOOL! GUNS name, right? You’d think so. Well, i looked it ZRUGVKDYHVROLWWOHÀRZWRWKHPDQGDOOLV AND KNIVES, TAKE IN LIVES, FUCK up! P. J. SOLES WAS FOR REAL NAMED P. like CHOP CHOP CHOP, my plan is to write YOU!” I cheat a bit on the quote but you J. SOLES!!! She got wed to a dude with the this whole deal in words of one BLEEP or know what i mean, right? Well, i’ll have you ³6ROHV´ODVWQDPHDQGKHU¿UVWQDPHVWDUWV less. I cannot say what the BLEEP means, but know that two weeks past, some kids tried to ZLWK³3´DQGKHUQRW¿UVWQDPHZLWK³-´%XW that’s not ‘cause it’s a swear word. That is blow up my old school! Guns and knives and that’s not the real nuts part. The real nuts part ‘cause the word BLEEP is not one BLEEP, it lit up gas goop and bombs and shit, like those is that do you know what P. J. Soles was is three BLEEPS. No good for this piece! kids in the school from that square state who called when she was not wed to the Soles This piece must keep all words to one wore the black coats (here’s a weird thing: dude? What she was called at birth? Dig this BLEEP! Short words most times have just My old squeeze back from when i was in shit: “P. J. HARD ON!!!” I fudge a bit with one BLEEP. Long words, they have more. tenth grade at that school, Green Bay East, the space in the last name, but you know what The word “BLEEP” itself starts with “S.”. moved to the square state, and her kids go to L VD\ ,W¶V WUXH7KH KRW FKLFN LQ ³5RFN µQ¶ You know the word! The start of it rhymes WKHVDPHKLJKVFKRROQRZWKDWWKHZKROH¿UVW 5ROO+LJK6FKRRO´ZDVERUQ³3-+DUGRQ´ with “kill.” The end of it sounds just like shoot the jocks thing went down in! She is That’s too nuts! I dig it! [i’d still do her, “bull.” There is an “uh” sound in the mid part. some kind of bad luck charm fo’ sho’!). The though she’s, you know, old {not that i’m one You get it. THAT word. Yeah. That’s my plot was stopped by cops when kids tipped WRWDONDWWKLVSRLQW`MXVWµFDXVH)25)8&.¶6 shtick for this piece. Three times ten times ten them off that some bad shit was sure to go 6$.( 6+(¶6 5,)) album on the P. had that piece here now; I could steal words make one think on that type of shit: It’s not A.! This would sap the wills of the kids who and thoughts from that dude and look smart like the thought to do such a thing had not were not us! They would sit, like a bunch of and bright! That is not the case, though. All I crossed my mind back then, ya know? (Ah, EUDLQGHDGVDSV KHOOWKH\:(5(DEXQFKRI have is the damn sun in my eyes and TOOL but this is not quite true: I used to think to do brain dead saps! Fuck you, brain dead saps! I in my ears. My friend smokes butts, the ash such things when i was of the age not quite HATE THE KIDS! I HATE THE KIDS! I burns my eye like in that song from that band set to go to high school. The not quite yet HATE THE KIDS! I HATE THE KIDS!), from Oz! Good gosh kill me now please why high school school. That was my big age to and i would whip out a gun and pick them off don’t you?!!) Fuck dude! Well, so, yes, where dream of the kill the kids stuff! Yes sir! I as i pleased! BLAM! Fuck you! BLAM! Eat were we? Oh yeah, one BLEEP or less. I would lie there in bed at night, with the one my shit! BLAM! Suck a dead cow’s dead don’t know, it seemed like a good thought at real full length by that Sex Guns band with dick you dead cow dick suck fuck head!!! the time (which is now), and this piece has John and Sid and Paul Cook and Steve Jones The thing by the Sex Guns would play, and i just short words, so it should take up less to play on my head phones (which is two would GO OFF on those fucks! With a gun! space and then all are pleased! So, let’s go words as well), and i would dream of a sort of God Save The Queen! Eat hot lead and shit Illustration by Terry Rentzepis Have i sold out, or did i just choose the wrong side to start with?

like that! New York! Die fuck head die! E! stopped to eat. I could not get out of the mode thing, or so it seemed at the time. But, yes, all Blam! M! Blam! I! Blam! (who?) E! Blam! that i am in. Would just speak in words like would be dead, save my friends and some M! Blam! I! Blam! Blam! Blam! I would this. What the fuck, why not. Now i am back girls we’d leave to suck our dicks. That all move thru the class rooms, kill all the kids in in the car with more TOOL in my ears. The seemed so vile and nuts and cool and, of one, go kill the kids in the next! We mean it, URDG KHUH JRHV %803 %803 %8037KH FRXUVH 381. EDFN WKHQ QRZ D GD\V \RX maaaaaan , ZRXOG JR ¿QG P\ OLNH IRXU screen goes BOING! BOING! BOING!, back look back and think “hmm…that’s kind of friends, go to the room where they had class and forth; it is hard for me to write this shit. fucked up, ain’t it?” Some kids try to blow up that day, let them know what was up! They Plus i checked my juice, my juice is LOW! I your school (not just my school, but Monk’s would pull out drums or those things with six am half done and my juice is half gone! [he has a show on the boob tube now] old strings, they could rock out and play the Sex GONE, DAD, GONE! LOVE IS GONE! school, too! Yup, Monk went to my school. Guns tunes while i shot all the kids! We would [Fuck you Femmes, you want some of this?] I Cool, huh?) and you think, “what the fuck is move thru all the rooms! No one would know FDQ¶WJREDFNWR¿[VWXIIZHOOµFDXVHLW¶VWRR wrong with you fucked up scuzz bags? How what hit them! Fuck this and fuck that! The hard to aim shit. Please try to cope! Yes, i can you be such a bunch of gross lame fucks? rooms would pile up with dead fuck head PXVWZULWHWKHUHVWDWWKHVDPHSDFHDVWKH¿UVW What’s wrong with you pukes?” So now i sit QLQWKJUDGHNLGV1RQHFRXOG¿QGDSODFHZH half because if i slack at all, the juice will die and think, well, was i wrong to dream of the were not! Lie lie lie lie lie! You lie lie lie lie ‘fore the piece is writ! Whoa would that suck! whole “kill all the kids who aren’t my friends lie! Tell me why, tell me why, why’d you have Todd would lose faith. Got to get this done! and make the hot girls suck my dick” thing? to lie? The whole school would be piled with O. K. back to work!). Yes, all would be dead. ‘Cause, i mean, that sure seemed to be the WKHGHDG:HZRXOGVWHSRQDFRUSVHWR52&. 7KH¿YHRIXVZRXOGUHLJQELJWLPH:H¶G right thing to dream of at the time. It was, like, ZLWKRXU¿VWVLQWKHDLU)XFN\RXFRUSVH:H rock out front, on a pile of the dead! We would WKH0$,17+,1*2)381.WRPHWRGUHDP would rule the school, ‘cause we would have turn the hot girls to head slaves, they would to kill all the lame dudes and make the girls bumped off all the fucks that gave us shit, give us blows ‘cause we would be KINGS OF do my bid (as Stiv said). The whole teen age which was, more or less, all the fucks (we just ALL WE SAW and they like that kind of day dream of death and sex and rock and roll 17 and shit! So, now i look back, and go yikes! KDYHVKRWKHU¿UVW:KHQPHDQGP\IULHQG long run, that might have been more cool than —what vile shit was once dreamt up by me Gare (who was in S. U. M. with me at that to kill all of the kids, but, then, i am not sure. back then!—how can this be squared, now SRLQW  ¿UVW KDG KHU IRU FODVV VKH ZDV OLNH “Don’t speak too soon ‘cause the wheel’s still that i am more old and wise? How can it all “who wants to put up some kind of stuff on in spin,” as Bob D. said. But, yes, we were not make sense, what i thought then, when now the big board on the back wall of class? You so much on her good side post that stunt. But that folks try and do in real life what i used to know, some nice Lit themed stuff, things like we did not care. She once told us that we must just dream of when i would jerk off (or what that? Who will do so?” She knew not with learn Lit, ‘cause we will some day have good EV, ya know), i look at it and think “how whom she dealt! We raised our hands. “We’ll jobs (we were in smart kid Lit class), or we fucked up!” It’s sort of a mess. Does punk just do it, Miss A!” She’s like, “oh great! I can’t would—and get this—WED those who have play at crap? It is all a pose? Am i just old? wait to see what you boys come up with.” good jobs. And, as such, we would go to cock Was i wrong to dream of the kill all the kids We’re like MMM BWAH HA HA tail things (it looks like she knew quite a bit thing back then, or am i wrong to wash my HAAAAAA!!! She thinks we’re apt to do more of these cock tail things than we thought hands of it now that i’m old? Have i sold out, some crap like “It is great to read good books! at the time) and folks would speak of this or did i just choose the wrong side to start Read some now if you would be so kind!”— great LIT of which we all must know. And, with? ‘Cause, i mean, those dudes who were put a big ol’ sign like that up on the board in she went on, we would want to have read this of a mind to blow up my school don’t seem the back of the room. Me and Gare, we have LIT not so much ‘cause it was great, but cool at all to me, they seem like dudes with an plans that do not quite match up with hers. We ‘cause if we did not, we would sound dumb at “L” on their heads. Yet, back when i was in go to Gare’s house, and I bring the front thang cock tail things. Think of this: Lit was said to high school, people thought that i was a dude of the fourth full length by that band who was be key by her ‘cause it would give us small with an “L” on my head, so who am i to talk? in “Rock ‘n’ Roll High School” (you know— talk to make with snobs like her (and like she It may be that i should just shut the fuck up! Joe, John, Dee and Tom [at that point Mark]. thought we would turn out to be) at dumb O. K., shit, i don’t have much juice left! I’ve “One-two-three-four” and all like that). We fetes. What the fuck, that’s the worst shit i’ve got to make this count! I got to type like mad! draw up a HUGE “Road To Ruin” front art heard from a teach in my damn life! Fuck you My hands are cold! The screen wags back and thing! It brings awe! We cut out the word parts ya stuck up bitch! If we were in charge we’d forth! What a bunch of fucked up shit! Who in red, each as big as a full sheet: R, A, M, O, VKRRW\RX¿UVWRUVDYH\RXIRUODVWRQHRIWKH thought of this lame shtick, man? Some god N, E, S. Then we bring this shit to school. We two. Well, to end this, this ol’ bird was damn fuck wad!!! So, then, re: high school, i get to class, and it is time for all the kids to be DRUNK OFF HER ASS when I saw her. All saw my old Lit teach last month—and she shhhhhh and read. We say “Miss A, we’ve got of which makes me think: When she taught us was DRUNK!!! I mean, she was DRUNK AS our stuff. May we put it up?” We say this in a in school, did she dream of the day she would FUCK!!! I saw her at the beer store, so I quite sweet tone. She’s like “Yes, boys, you come to school and shoot US? Think on that, should talk, but she was FUCKED UP AS go do so, you quite bright and nice boys, if you want. SHIT!!! She slurred her words. She went to you!” We put up the “Road to Ruin” thing, it’s get more wine!!! You have to know her. She like the whole wall of the class room. She Love, was one god damn stuck up bitch!!! We would damn near shits a brick. It was great. In the Nørb IT NGHOLEAGAINST REPORTS to society s dinghole!” RHYTHM CHICKEN Entire Country Right ur Own Home!

I had nothing to write about! Having no new enjoy the Chicken’s ruckus from wherever naturally occurring ruckus to cover, I had to we’ve reached you. First the wheel, and then synthesize some deadline-induced chaos just THIS! I tell you, technology’s on a roll! Okay, to gain dinghole-reportable material. Still less hooshwash and MORE RUCKUS! mildly perplexed on the ethical implications mail of such ruckus, I decided my schedule could The intro was then drowned out by ded only allow a narrow time frame for this my intense ruckus rhythms, nearly melting ast year’s TELEPHONE TOUR! the phone lines! Ruckus Thomas was right nto WKHUH LQ WKH OLQH RI ¿UH KROGLQJ XS P\ , it (HOLY SHIT! You did another cordless phone and taking the audio beating Ruckus Thomas records th . It TELEPHONE TOUR? Why were we not so folks could hear my ruckus from Los t it informed? Why were we not CALLED? – F.F.) Angeles, Kansas City, Milwaukee, New Yeah, Chicken-nuts! BE my York, Manitowoc, Washington DC, West the ty- You two slick-slacks haven’t been Palm Beach, Alaska, Minneapolis, Atlanta, and stopping by lately, so Ruckus Thomas and Austin, Green Bay, Detroit, Ephraim, and You’re sitting there in your germ- rist I conducted this year’s telephone tour by Sister Bay! In two short hours I transmitted ind nth, ourselves right here from the trailer. As for my molten hot ruckus to thirty different free bubble, taunting folks with Th including your numbers with this year’s tour locations across North America! My elf- stops… uh, talk to my agent. Sam’s Club calling card was ON FIRE! your mild-ass rhythms ty- Technology is indeed on a roll! This is the stra n a Dinghole Report #75: If You’d Like to modern world! sys my Make a Call, Please Hang Up and Try Again. OVER THE PHONE All If You Need Help, If You Need Help, If You Here is a listing of all thirty tour stops. ! hat Need Help, If You Need Help… 256-6563 581-0570 367-2514 Rebekka Federer, Ruckus O’Reily, Allison [Pardon me, Rhythm Chicken, but you me (Rhythm Chicken sighting #377) 691-6513 521-8587 453-8193 Vroman, Bob Schwarz, and Jerry Frisque. Of this ruckus report really sounds rather DV and 587-2007 907-2077 817-7018 these nine lucky folks, eight of them enjoyed tame. In fact, I would say it’s really rather out obs Ah yes! The telephone tour! What an 259-3501 514-5319 249-1464 pure live audio ruckus. Jerry Frisque hung LACKING in ruckus. I mean really. What Ch ect amazing concept! One can tour the entire 968-0609 494-2557 490-9080 up on me! What a wily fella! The tour’s only we have here is you sitting in your living an). country, coast to coast, right from your own 719-3800 489-7390 898-2976 cancelled gig. Among those who acquired room, calling mild acquaintances, and een KRPH1RWUDI¿FKDVVOHV1RÀDWWLUHV1R 588-2592 224-3686 455-6353 their own live bootleg recording were Paddy, playing your drums for a few seconds, then WE ger getting your equipment stolen! No driving 832-9045 481-6040 242-6691 Designated Dale, Russell Lichter, Maddy hanging up. No wrestling, no confrontation, WE of ¿IWHHQKRXUVWRDFDQFHOOHGJLJ1RVWLQN\ 350-1076 954-1884 481-2274 Tight Pants, Replay Dave, Ben Snakepit, Eric no physical chaos. You’re at such a safe n a van vapor making your eyes water! Every 854-4044 482-3346 421-1121 Axelson, and Lord Kveldulfr. The line at San distance from your audience that I would to time someone picks up the phone on the I have omitted the area codes to protect Pedro’s 4th Street Punk House was busy during say you might even be AFRAID of them. Is few other end of the line, you are playing to a these lucky folks from you, the reader. two separate calls, making this gig merely this the case? Not only have you physically was live audience! Every time their machine postponed. The number for Toys-That-Kill- removed yourself from Wisconsin’s punk intr nds or voice-mail answers, it’s a live bootleg (Hey, Alexander Graham Chicken. What Todd must’ve been an old one because some scene, now you are trying to regain contact new yed recording! If you don’t like a particular gig, in the heck is that list of random numbers elderly lady kept answering in his stead, unless by performing OVER THE PHONE? If I h ida you hang up! supposed to mean to us? This is crazy. I ain’t she’s the new Recess Records secretary. Toby I can’t accuse you of being afraid of your chi was This last Saturday I only had to work buyin’ it. – F.F.) Tober was the only one whose phone rang audience, then I can at least accuse you of fea ago one shift at one job; a rarity this summer. forever, no answer. Was he in the shower? Was being LAZY! –Dr. S.] cor etic Ruckus Thomas came over and headed [Surely, Mr. Chicken, you don’t expect he tied up to a chair while burglars pillaged his his uck straight for the icebox for a can of Hamms. this fabricated ruckus to keep us content. girlie half-shirt collection? (Yeah, Chicken-nuts! You’re sitting there nex He was this tour’s MC and had to lube up Even for your biggest fan, it would take My favorite tour stop was calling Mr. Bob in your germ-free bubble, taunting folks with you his delivery. This year’s telephone tour intro a leap of faith to swallow this unnatural Schwarz, my old boss in Milwaukee. Half- your mild-ass rhythms OVER THE PHONE! Ch uite was as follows: hooshwash. – Dr. S.] way through Ruckus Thomas’ intro spiel Bob You don’t got the GUTS to play to peoples’ rea S.] Hello. My name is Ruckus Thomas and interrupts with, “What’s 2nd prize?” Then, faces anymore, do you?! –F.F.) hot I’m calling you from the Rhythm Chicken’s I can see it will take a more detailed after his personal tour stop was complete, ely living room in Sister Bay, Wisconsin. Your account of my tour to keep you two happy. he called Ruckus Thomas’ cell phone and Listen, Francine, if you could see my hbhbh Ok W ll h l f lk h ll li d h h h h ! li i i l ld ’ f BIG I’MI’M AGAINSTAGAINST ITIT DRILL DESIGNATED DALE CAR DANCE FUCKERS

It goes without saying that anyone who’s when I say that only a few handfuls of bands DPRQJVWWKHEDQGLVÀRZLQJOLNHFRUQWKURXJK reading this magazine (and who writes for have knocked my dick in the dirt over the a goose, and between Frank’s powerhouse said zine) has accumulated a decent number \HDUVDQGVHHLQJ%'&IRUWKH¿UVWWLPHIRU melodies barreling outta his pipes, Mark’s RIEDQGVWKDWKDYHEHFRPHSURPLQHQW¿[WXUHV PHLVULJKWXSWKHUHZKHQ,¿UVWFDXJKWWKH power chords and guitar leads that twist in of their music libraries and/or collections. Ramones and Motörhead. Yes, they were and out of each song like a serpent, Bob’s IAnd these aren’t the bands that you or your that great live, cocko, and upon getting my Steve Harris-meets-Cliff Burton bass playing pals bust out every few months or so. No, KDQGVRQWKHLU¿UVWUHFRUGLQJVWKHGD\DIWHU (who’re they? Look it up, asshole), and these are the bands that have dug themselves that gig, I instantly became a ginourmous Danny’s punk rock Bonham chops, there a place permanently into your head and heart, fan. There are a small number of bands that was no band at the time that could follow the same way if you took a scratch-awl and fall together almost too easily, that “perfect ‘em on the same bill and top ‘em. Well, I etched your top handful of bands into your chemistry” thing you hear about every so take that back—there was one instance at the eardrum lining. The unconditional love of often. BDC were one of those bands whose Hollywood Palladium when BDC opened that special music that won’t be undone by chemistry played a major part in writing and for the Ramones in ’91 or ‘92. Talk about a any other human being’s opinion, heckling, recording some of the best stuff to grace show! It was the ‘Car, Body Count (Ice T! or assorted runnings of the mouth. Sticks mom and pop record shelves in the late ‘80s Cop Killaaaa!), and the Ramones. and stones syndrome, big time. I mean, most through the mid ‘90s. Back to the beginning of things, the guys of us could give two shits about what some Back in the mid ‘80s, guitarist Mark get into a studio and bang out Small Block, yammering putz has to say about something Arnold was honing his chops in the band No WKH VL[VRQJ (3 WKDW¶V UHOHDVHG RQ WKHLU that has become an important part of our Crisis, alongside his buddy and bandmate own Varient! label in 1988. The press on lives, like music. If anything, all that hot air Kurt Mosher. Incidentally, I never knew this vinyl was pretty low, in the 1000-2000 reinforces the realization that you honestly that this was the same Kurt who performed copies range, so if you have or come across like what you like, you’re gonna continue to EULHÀ\ ZLWK 6RFLDO7DVN WKH LQIDPRXV DOO a Varient! version of this EP, you know stand by it, and fuck you very much. star band who lurked around garage parties what to do. Touring commences around this This goes for all genres of the musical in the Huntington and Long Beach area in time, and the ‘Car crosses paths with The spectrum, and I’m completely aware that So. Cal. around ‘79-‘80 (thanks for the bit Doughboys. Cruz Records, the subsid run by there’s some out there that don’t take their o’ info, Chriso!). Enter Frank Daly, the teen Greg Ginn’s SST label, gets wise and signs WRSUDQNHG WXQHDJH DV VHULRXV DV WKH QH[W bass player who had been living around BDC just in time for the recording of their fan. But when it comes to the punk rock, the Costa Mesa area (also in So. Cal.) after 1989 masterpiece full length, Album Type I’ve noticed for a long time that there are moving out from the East Coast. Mark Thing, Tape Type Thing, or CD Type Thing, a lot of folks who have the mother’s grip bumps into Frank at a record shop, they get depending on which format you bought at RQ WKRVH SDUWLFXODU EDQGV WKDW ÀRDW WKHLU to talking, and then get together to jam to see the store. More touring ensues, Cruz re- boat like yours truly. Not to sound like Jack what happens. Shit starts grooving and the releases Small Block in 1990, and people %ODFN¶VFKDUDFWHULQWKH¿OPHigh Fidelity band Raw Material starts to mutate. Soon are getting saavy to what BDC is bringing (which is pretty funny if you haven’t viewed after, another band is on the hunt for a new to the plate, especially the Descendents and it yet), but I too have a “top” list of my own bass player, and Frank’s offered the slot. ALL crowds. This makes sense, as Stephen bands I’m partial to that’s weathered the Accepting the offer, Frank sets out on tour Egerton sat at the control board on all four storm of speculation for many a year. But, as the new bassist for MIA. After returning of their studio offerings, along with Bill DV H[SODLQHG D IHZ VHQWHQFHV DJR ,¶P WKH from tour, Frank gets Mark into the fold and Stevenson on their last two. captain of my own ship, I’m at the helm, WKHEDQGUHFRUGVWKH¿QDO0,$UHFRUGAfter I used to laugh at the Descendents/ALL DQGDQ\RQHZKRGRHVQ¶WVHH¿WFDQZDONWKH The Fact on Flipside Records in 1987. The fans that would get their panties in a bunch, plank with my foot in their ass. Arr! Avast, two of ‘em start to tool around once again claiming that BDC was lifting from these ye of the arsehole persuasion! Ahem… with a side project, including Frank’s old WZRRXW¿WV7KHZD\,VHHLWWKHUH¶VDOZD\V anyway, one band I’ve been partial to for high school buddy Bob Thomson on bass EHHQ VRPH LQÀXHQFH LQ %'&¶V WXQHV EXW PDQ\ \HDUV LV GH¿QLWHO\ RQH RI WKH EHVW this time around, Frank solely on vocals, never an outright lifting of the Descendents reasons to go get your rock on. I’m speaking DQG 0DUN RQ JXLWDU 0,$ ¿QDOO\ VSOLWV XS or ALL (which is basically the Descendents of the almighty Big Drill Car. in 1988, the Arnold/Daly/Thomson hybrid sans Milo to begin with). I still think that $Q\RQH ZKR¶V D IDQ NQRZV H[DFWO\ permanently adds drummer Danny Marcroft BDC rocked it harder, the same way The what I mean when I say that BDC brought to the roster, and the seedlings of what’s to Who rocked it harder than The Beatles. it, whether it was laying down tracks in a become Big Drill Car is quickly on its way %RWKEDQGVDUHH[FHSWLRQDOO\JUHDWEXW7KH recording studio or taking charge of a stage to fruition. Who and BDC had bigger, sharper teeth and like the way it’s supposed to be taken—like Now, here’s where that band chemistry cajones the size of avocados. Like I said you fucking meanLW,¶PQRWH[DJJHUDWLQJ comes into play. The brilliant songwriting earlier, they brought it. Aside from picking up their EP and three full-lengths, I can’t encourage enough any and all BDC fans to track down the singles that the band put out. They’re well worth the trouble of hunting down, and besides the cover tunes, there’s a handful of non-LP tracks that were never released otherwise. A hella-good reference to check out is St. Louis Sam’s extensive BDC website at www.bigdrillcar.com. 2YHU ¿IWHHQ \HDUV DJR , PHW RQH RI my best friends (Mr. Glenn Ancheta) out in Houston, TX through an old Flipside FODVVL¿HGDGIRU%'&WUDGHUV*OHQQZRXOG trek out here to Los Angeles as much as humanly possible to record and videotape BDC gigs and crash out at my place (by the way, Glenn and Kevin’s label, Itchy Korean Recordings, is soon to be releasing a BDC tribute compilation in the near future called And They’ll Spin... A Tribute to Costa Mesa’s Finest, Big Drill Car. Keep your eyes peeled to www.itchykorean.com for current updates). We both got to know Frank and Mark pretty well over the next coupla years, and they’re both stand-up guys (Hola, Señor Arnold y Daly! And Bob or Danny— if you’re reading this, get ahold of me—it’d be cool to hear from the both of ya!) My old Flipside cohort and friend Martin McMartin was a huge fan of the ‘Car, as well, and we always had the ongoing joke RIZKRZDVJRQQDJHWVLJQHG¿UVW²*UHHQ Day or Big Drill Car? Even though you know how that one ended, I have to share a story that I’ll never forget that Glenn told me the next day after a gig he had come out here for that I couldn’t make for some reason or another. The show included Green Day, BDC, and a new opening act called Rancid at the Whisky here in L.A. Glenn says he was hanging out upstairs at the club, catching up with assorted members of the ‘Car, when Billie Joe Armstrong peeked his head into the dressing room door and said something to the fact of, “Hey, you’re Big Drill Car! It’s cool to be playing with you guys tonight!” Green Day got signed not too long after, and it made me feel good that even Illustration by Rafael Avila though BDC never got their way-overdue The Batch LP was recorded in 1991 and ex-Cadillac Tramp Jamie Reidling hops comeuppance with the major labels, it was (with an outstanding version of Devo’s on the drum kit. a tad comforting to know that someone else “Freedom of Choice”), and the ‘Car does My good friend and old bandmate Clint who got what BDC was about had managed a states tour and set their touring sights Weinrich (AKA, The Torrez) was fortunate to snag the inevitable record deal. I’ll never on Europe, where they’re welcomed with enough to share stages on the last half of forget that story. open arms during their dates there. A live %'&¶V ¿QDO VWDWHV WRXU ZLWK *XWWHUPRXWK Besides digging a band like Big Drill LP, Toured is released on BDC’s new label, (who he was playing bass for at the time). Car for almost half my life (with all the Headhunter/Cargo in 1993, recorded from Clint said the best part of that tour was packed gigs and spinning those records their 1991 Batch tour at CBGB. And while getting to watch the ‘Car every night, the literally hundreds of times), you can see that it’s not their most impressive live set caught lucky bastard, but he was down with BDC they’re they waaay up there with my top ten on tape, it’s a fond farewell to bassist Bob for years as well, so I was stoked for him. when it comes to Dale’s special area (my top Thomson who left the band to join (gulp) BDC put out a fair amount of singles, as music faves, not where I pee, you pervs). Xtra Large and is replaced by all-around well as recorded cuts for some comps, and Even cooler, I’ve met some rad people along nice guy/world surfer Darrin Morris. Danny quite a bit of ‘em were cover songs. There’s the way and made some pretty kick-ass Marcroft leaves the drum throne soon after the fantastic BDC version of Cheap Trick’s friends, to boot. Let’s see someone’s stamp the demos are recorded for the upcoming “Surrender” (that was played at almost collection do that. new album and is replaced with ex-Carnival every gig I saw from when they pressed Art drummer Keith Fallis. The band then re- that 7”), Billy Joel’s “Big Shot”, The I’m Against It enters the studio to record what’s to be their Buzzcock’s “I Don’t Mind”, Hüsker Dü’s IRXUWK DQG ¿QDO UHFRUG No Worse for the “Celebrated Summer”, and even the obscure -Designated Dale Wear. Keith then splits back to New Mexico David Bowie cut “Black Country Rock.” 23

“I always wear I’M AGAINST IT a bandana on WHO ARE YOU? stage, like a sweatband.” Nardwuar Bachmanvs. Randy of Bachman Turner Overdrive and the Guess Who!

Nardwuar: What do you think of the Butthole Randy Bachman is the composer of two of Canada’s national Surfers’ version of “American Woman”? anthems: “Takin’ Care of Business” by Bachman Turner Randy: I think it’s kind of neat. I see some humor in it. I mean, even their name Overdrive and “American Woman” by the Guess Who. Born is humorous. I get a great kick out of hearing cover versions of songs that I’ve in Winnipeg, he now calls Saltspring Island, British Columbia written, how somebody else interprets it home, and thankfully was home when I caught up with him. and takes it to their own level of music, be it lower than I did or higher than what I planned musically. Nardwuar: Who are you? never get any, right. So we grew up in Nardwuar: When you were on tour Randy Bachman: Who am I? Sometimes Winnipeg, and during our first trip to with BTO, did your bandmates ever play I wonder. Halifax, the promoter had a little lobster tricks on you? Didn’t one time Robbie Nardwuar: You are Randy Bachman. fishery thing. And he said, “Do you guys Bachman have off-duty cops arrest you Randy: I’m Randy Bachman. want lobster?” This was with Burton in your hotel room? Nardwuar: Randy, I was wondering: Cummings (Guess Who) and us. And he Randy: Yeah, that was pretty scary. It What is the Kentucky Fried Rat Story? just took us to the beach and they were was somewhere in Indiana or Illinois, Randy: What?! just bringing them in and they just threw somewhere in the Midwest, and we were Nardwuar: The Kentucky Fried Rat Story. them in a pot. The tour was sponsored by all heading out to get in our car to get Randy: Where’d you hear that? Coca-Cola so we had cases of Coca-Cola to our gig at a big state fair; we were Nardwuar: The Kentucky Fried Rat Story. and literally dozens of lobster. It was first being paid a lot of money and there were Randy: That’s a story C.F. Turner of time we really had fresh lobster, being forty thousand people. As I got out of BTO told. He was with this band when it from Winnipeg, and we ate until we got the hotel, a police car pulls up and I used to be called Port Arthur. Was it Port sick. What can I tell ya? think nothing of it. Two cops get out and Arthur? Fort Murray? Ooh, I forget. In Nardwuar: Did you ever get kicked out of a they start walking towards me, and I still Thunder Bay. The Lakehead. That’s real King’s Table at all, kicked out of one of those think nothing of it; I was thinking they safe. He ordered a bucket of chicken for all-you-can-eat places, Randy Bachman? were going into the restaurant of the his band. They were eating, and he took Randy: No, they love us in there. We’d Holiday Inn. They say, “Are you Randy a bite and thought, “Gee, this is weird.” clean up the place! Bachman?” I say, “Yes.” They say, And he looked at it and it was a mouse! Nardwuar: You know how a lot of your “Would you please get up, put your hands And they went back to the—should I records were released in Japan? What are on the car, and spread your legs?” And I say it?—the KFC place and complained. the lyric translations like of Bachman say, “What?!” They say, “You heard me. There were little pipes in there and the Turner Overdrive songs? I’ve heard that Lean against the car. Spread ‘em!” I say, mice would run around and sometimes they can be pretty odd. Like “Let It Roll “You’ve got to be kidding! I have a bag some would slip and—whoops!—fall in down the Highway” turns into “Take a in my hand.” I always carry a bag with the batter! And so he actually ate a half Chance on the Old Saxophone.” a bandana and a brush—I always wear a of a Kentucky Fried Mouse! Randy: It’s hilarious. When you go to bandana on stage, like a sweatband—and Nardwuar: Did the Guess Who used to Japan, you buy your album and you pull had deodorant for after the gig. They put have lobster eating contests at King’s out the lyrics—and you’ve even put in my hands behind me and put handcuffs Table restaurants? the English lyrics—I can remember on me. And they say, “We want to cite Randy: Oh, yeah. Where’d you hear all “Roll on down the Highway.” It was you for a violation.” Meanwhile, Robbie these things? “I Rented a Duck and a Hemi a Go,” had a video camera—he always films Nardwuar: Oh, just wondering, Randy instead of “We Rented a Truck and a everything. He’s filming this whole Bachman. Lobster eating contests in BTO? Semi to Go.” It is quite hilarious the thing. I’m thinking, “Well, this is a Randy: You know, when you’re from way they translate it. That’s about all mistake. This is really cool. I have this Winnipeg, you only hear of lobster. You I remember. Illustration by Mitch Clem “We get to the state fair and I go to the promoter and say, pay me ‘You ’ve got to the money right now. I’ve got to pay the cops or I can’t go on stage.’” all on film.” Because once before I was in the back of this car, which is really Randy: No, I let the thing go. Every time I arrested in New Orleans and Robbie tough because it has a little back seat see him, I ask him for a copy of it. He was has it all on film and it’s a real kick. and you have handcuffs on your hands going to send it to Ed McMahon and Dick I made a left turn in New Orleans; and they’re wedged behind your back. Clark’s Bloopers on television but then the you get arrested for doing that. These By the way, it’s 103 degrees and I’m in show went off the air. guys say, “We have a warrant for your the backseat with no air conditioning. Nardwuar: What was it like playing for arrest. You received a speeding ticket I’m in the back of this car handcuffed, convicts at Matsqui Prison? in 1983 and you failed to appear before and I’m thinking, “What is going on?!” Randy: Yeah, Matsqui. We played the judge.” Because not only do you They drive me to the state fair; the band there once. We did a Jailhouse Rock get a ticket in the state, but you drive is following me behind. The siren’s with D.O.A. out in Prince Albert, out of that state because you’re on going and the lights are flashing. We Saskatchewan about seven or eight years tour; you never go back there. They get to the state fair and I go to the ago. Now, that’s pretty weird. I mean, say, “The penalty was $900.00, and promoter and say, “You’ve got to pay talk about a captive audience! They can’t with the accrued penalty and interest, me the money right now. I’ve got to go anywhere. They had a chance to vote, you now owe us $14,000.00. This must pay the cops or I can’t go on stage. You apparently, for whoever they wanted be paid immediately or we’re going to pay me right now and I will straighten to come and entertain them, and their lock you up.” I say, “Wait a minute. I’m this all out later.” And at that point the top two votes were BTO and D.O.A. going to a gig. There are 40,000 people cops start laughing. And I figure, “Why MuchMusic decided to record it and they waiting. I don’t have any money. I put are these guys laughing?” It was weird. called it Jailhouse Rock. It was really a it in the bank every morning.” And they It was like watching Cops on TV and cool thing. say, “Well, we have to take you to jail. then suddenly they burst out laughing. Nardwuar: All right, Randy Bachman. It’s our job.” The rest of the band is Robbie starts laughing and falls down Doot doola doot doo... standing there with this look on their on the floor. The cops say, “Gee, you’re Randy: Doot doo! face—they don’t know what’s going really a good sport.” As they unlock on; Robbie is filming this whole thing. my hands, they say, “This was just a I say, “Lookit, please, please, please. joke put on by your brother.” And here To hear this interview go to Take me to the state fair. I’m being Robbie was taping the whole thing. www.nardwuar.com paid tonight. I’ll get all the money and Nardwuar: Did you ever think about I will give it to you.” So they throw me getting back at Robbie? 27 “If a stick is I’M AGAINST IT handy, you’ll ALAZY MONKEY TOMICKRIDE THE DOG poke it with SEAN CARSWELL a stick.” The Shady ID

Last issue, I wrote about the early life of In 1952, Thompson met an editor simplemindedness is all a hoax. Once Ford one of my favorite writers, Jim Thompson. named Arnold Hano. Hano worked for Lion realizes that he’s going to get away with I covered his birth in an Oklahoma jail, the Books. Lion Books was a pulp publisher PXUGHU KLV FRQ¿GHQFH VZHOOV 7KH QRYHO six years he spent as a high school freshman, in the purest form. They were about little twists and turns through a plot that you his adventures as a drug dealer, bootlegger, more than making money off of newsstand never saw coming. Land burlesque house comic during those six sales. The publisher of Lion Books, Martin Thompson handed this novel, which years, his hobo days when he hung out with Goodman, made most of his money he titled The Killer Inside Me, in to Arnold the guy who wrote the song “Big Rock Candy off of men’s magazines. He published Hano. Hano was blown away. The Killer Mountain,” his history with the Oklahoma some classic-style pin-up mags, hunting Inside MeYHUL¿HGDOORI+DQR¶VVXVSLFLRQV Communist Party, Woody Guthrie’s help PDJD]LQHV ¿VKLQJ PDJD]LQHV DQ\WKLQJ that Thompson was more than some pulp JHWWLQJ 7KRPSVRQ¶V ¿UVW QRYHO SXEOLVKHG that was easily digestible to men who hack. He was a genuine talent. Hano gave and Thompson’s dream of suing God. Now, were bored on the train in to work, or to Thompson free reign at this point to write we pick up Thompson’s life when he was men who had no interest in family radio or whatever he wanted. Thompson, now forty-three years old, on the verge of his TV. Goodman’s idea was to take this easily forty-six and a veteran of a lifetime of glory days and his tragic decline. digestible, male-oriented philosophy into artistic frustration, uncorked his potential. cheap paperbacks. He hired Hano to head Writing mostly from an upstairs bedroom In 1949, crime writer Jim Thompson the book division. Hano gathered a number in his sister’s house, Thompson wrote published his fourth novel, Nothing More of hack writers and commissioned them twelve novels in nineteen months. He than Murder. His three previous books to write the books. Hano often outlined wrote so much so fast that it took Lion had garnered positive reviews and decent the plots based on classic stories—Greek %RRNV¿YH\HDUVWRSXEOLVKDOOWKHERRNV book sales. They were good novels. But tragedies, medieval British literature, These nineteen months were really the they weren’t the books that would make etc.—told the writers to add plenty of sex glory days for Thompson. His books were him famous. and blood, and set them to work. A lot of immensely popular, selling on average a Nothing More than Murder, though, the hacks didn’t even know that they were quarter million copies each. His readership tapped into Thompson’s shady past and it rewriting classics as pulp novels. was huge. Beyond that, he was writing drilled the depths of his even shadier id. Originally, Thompson was hired on as some of the best books of his career, most In one sense, it’s a pure crime novel with one of these hacks. Since he was a well- notably A Hell of a Woman, After Dark, My all the plot twists and turns you’d expect read guy, he probably knew where the Sweet, and, of course, The Killer Inside from the genre. In another sense, it’s Jim treatments came from. Clearly, he didn’t Me. With these three books in particular, Thompson exploring the deepest recesses care. Unlike most of the authors Lion Books Thompson managed to transcend basic RI KLV PLQG ¿QGLQJ WKRVH LPSXOVHV WKDW published, Thompson paid little attention ideas of what a popular novel should be. we never would or probably even could WR WKH SORW V\QRSVHV7KH ¿UVW RQH KH ZDV He wrote books that were geared for a mass act upon, that we bury as well as we can, given suggested he write a novel about a audience, full of deviant sex and grotesque but that haunt and doom Thompson’s New York cop who gets involved with a violence, and made those books literary and FKDUDFWHUV 7KLV ZDV WKH ¿UVW KLQW RI prostitute and ends up killing her. Thompson psychological masterpieces. These books Thompson doing what would make him a moved the cop to west Texas, modeled him LQÀXHQFHG ODWHU 3XOLW]HU3UL]HZLQQLQJ legend: he shed a light onto parts of the after Thompson’s father, and blew the lid off authors like William S. Burroughs, paved human psyche that most of us are a little the simple thriller plot. Rather than making the way for gonzo novelists like Norman afraid to look at, but, just like that bloated the typical crime tale wherein you either Mailer and Hunter S. Thomspon. corpse you stumble across in the woods, WU\WR¿JXUHRXWLIWKHFRSUHDOO\NLOOHGWKH Lion Books paid Thompson between you’re completely fascinated by it. If a prostitute, or you follow the cop through an $900 and $2500 for each book. At the time, stick is handy, you’ll poke it with a stick. extended chase scene, wondering if he’ll this was pretty good money. The downside, Reviewers loved Nothing More than get caught, Thompson wrote an intense, though, was that they bought the books Murder. They’d never seen anything like psychological novel. The west Texas sheriff outright, so Thompson received no royalties. it. Very little of what was written at the of the novel, Lou Ford, comes across The real crime in these novels was in the time could match Thompson’s honesty to his constituency as an affable though accounting. Thompson made far less than a and brutality. Readers loved it, too. The simpleminded guy. When the prostitute is penny each for the over three million books paperback edition sold 750,000 copies. murdered, no one in town really expects KHVROGGXULQJWKHPLG¿IWLHV Thompson followed it up with two more the slow-witted Ford to solve the crime. Compounding Thompson’s bad luck, novels that were equally edgy, equally Because she’s a prostitute, most people Arnold Hano quit Lion Books in 1954. Lion haunting. Perhaps for this reason—that they in the town aren’t too concerned, anyway. Books didn’t value Thompson as a writer were too edgy and haunting—no publisher What they don’t realize, though, is that despite his huge book sales. They continued would touch those two books. Ford is extremely intelligent and his affable to publish the books that they had already They were fucked up people living fucked up lives, and Thompson portrayed them in all their sociopathic glory. paid him for, but they bought no more books shied away from the disturbing elements of Clean Break. He hired Thompson to adapt from Thompson once Hano quit. the human psyche. He wrote scenes of rape, WKH QRYHO WR ¿OP :KDW KDSSHQHG QH[W %\ WKH ODWH ¿IWLHV 7KRPSVRQ KDG incest, brutality, and, of course, murder. His is disputed. According to Thompson, he published sixteen novels, garnered critical characters often didn’t have many redeemable adapted the novel into the screenplay for the acclaim, developed a worldwide audience, characteristics. They rarely learned their ¿OPThe Killing. Kubrick, however, claims and sold millions of copies of his books— lessons and sometimes got away with their to have written the screenplay himself and no publisher in the U.S. would touch crimes when you didn’t want them to. These and hired Thompson only to tinker with him. It’s hard to say why publishers stayed weren’t novels of justice or redemption. the dialog. It’s hard to say who is telling away. When a publisher turns down a book, They were fucked up people living fucked the truth. Thompson was notorious for he rarely gives a reason why. No concrete up lives, and Thompson portrayed them in embellishing his own life story, and Kubrick evidence exists to demonstrate why all their sociopathic glory. Knowing this and was notorious for cheating writers out of Thompson kept getting rejected. A number knowing what I know about the publishing WKHLUFXWLQKLV¿OPV(YLGHQFHVXJJHVWVWKDW of these books and stories were published LQGXVWU\,¶PDFWXDOO\OHVVVXUSULVHGWR¿QG Thompson did write the screenplay himself. later in Thompson’s life or after his death that Thompson had trouble getting published For one thing, the style of writing matches and three of the books he couldn’t initially despite his success, and I’m more surprised 7KRPSVRQ¶VSHUIHFWO\([DFWSKUDVHVLQWKH ¿QG D SXEOLVKHU IRU²The Getaway, Pop. he got published at all. movie come from Thompson’s novels, the 1280, and This World, Then the Fireworks— Around this time of his life, Hollywood ¿OP¶VFKDUDFWHUVDOOWDONLQWKHLGLRV\QFUDWLF are my three favorites. All three have been FDPHNQRFNLQJ7KH¿UVWGLUHFWRUWRWDNHDQ ways of Thompson’s characters, and the adapted into movies. The Getaway was interest in Thompson was Stanley Kubrick. movie in general plays out with all the adapted into two movies. This suggests that Kubrick went on to become the legendary distinctive trademarks of a Jim Thompson the books probably weren’t turned away director of movies like A Clockwork Orange novel. More than that, it’s clear that the plot because of a perceived lack of quality or and Dr. Strangelove. When he approached matches the plot of White’s Clean Break. mass appeal. My personal theory about Thompson, though, Kubrick was still an And if the plot is already written, the only Thompson’s dry spell has more to do with DVSLULQJ¿OPPDNHU.XEULFNKDGSXUFKDVHG thing left to do in the screenplay adaptation the content of his books. Thompson never WKH ¿OP ULJKWV WR D /LRQHO :KLWH QRYHO is to write the dialog. 29

Regardless of your perspective on who big star on that side of the Atlantic. Foreign print novels. At one point, they gave him wrote it, The Killing is one of the coolest book rights kept food on his table most nights. WHQ GROODUV IRU WKH ¿OP ULJKWV WR KLV QRYHO movies ever made. I’m not being hyperbolic +LVÀLUWDWLRQVZLWK+ROO\ZRRGKHOSHGKLPJHW South of Heaven. Thompson at the time was to say that it has the best ending of any movie PRUH QRYHOV SXEOLVKHG 0RVW VLJQL¿FDQWO\ drunk and spent the money on more booze. I’ve ever seen. It also marks the beginning Thompson’s work with Kubrick helped him Bill, rather than following the protocol of of the last phase of Thompson’s career—his WR¿QDOO\JHWThe Getaway published by New optioning rights for the book, made sure years of being screwed by Hollywood. American Library. Though The Getaway was to get the full rights for the book forever. After (probably) robbing Thompson of adapted into two awful movies, the novel Thompson had no recollection of signing his credit in The Killing, Kubrick’s producer itself is Thompson’s own Inferno, leading the WKH¿OPULJKWVRYHU5HGIRUGDQG%LOOQHYHU and partner, Jimmy Harris, commissioned reader through a tour of Hell. Thompson’s did make a movie out of South of Heaven or Thompson to write a novella upon which publisher wanted Thompson to tone down the any of Thompson’s books. Redford and Bill Kubrick and Harris did make the movie The could make a movie. Sting, and this catapulted Thompson wrote the Thompson made far less than a penny each Bill’s career. A few years novella Lunatic at for the over three million books he sold later, Thompson was in bad Large. Harris decided health and struggling to pay not to make a movie @QNEJCPDAIE@łBPEAO his medical bills. Another out of it. Since Harris ¿OPPDNHU RIIHUHG KLP owned the rights to it, IRUWKH¿OPULJKWVWR Thompson was never able to publish this ending of the book, though that is the element South of Heaven. This seemed like a godsend novella. Even worse, Harris owned the only of the book that makes it so amazing. Rather for Thompson. Instead, Tony Bill got wind of copy of the manuscript, and he lost it. The than do this, Thompson bluffed his editor, it and blocked Thompson’s sale. According to entire manuscript was never found again. claiming that Gary Cooper was set to star in 7KRPSVRQ¶VFKLOGUHQWKLVZDVWKH¿QDOVWUDZ Portions of the manuscript were found in WKH ¿OP DGDSWDWLRQ 7KH SXEOLVKHU IDLOHG WR I don’t know if this disappointment killed an old Kubrick-Harris storage space thirty call Thompson’s bluff. The world is a better him, but Thompson did die shortly thereafter, years after Harris claimed to have lost it. The place because of that. at the age of seventy-one. portions found suggest that Lunatic at Large As Thompson limped into his sixties, his A few years after his death, Random may have been Thompson’s great lost book, descent continued. He had small successes House started a book imprint called the Black but we’ll likely never know. writing for television. He even penned a Lizard Crime Series. They reprinted most Thompson continued to yo-yo up and Quincy episode. But for the most part, he of Thompson’s books. Hollywood actually down in Hollywood. Big producers would continued to have trouble getting books FDPHWKURXJKLQWKHLUSURPLVHVPDNLQJ¿OPV have an interest in making movies out of his published and he continued to get screwed out of several of Thompson’s stories—most books, but inevitably, it wouldn’t work out for by Hollywood. For a time in the early 1970s, QRWDEO\ WKH  ¿OPThe Grifters. It’s sad Thompson. He continued to struggle to make Robert Redford and Tony Bill did what they that Thompson never got to see the success a living and this aggravated his alcoholism. could to revive his career. They made a lot of he struggled so long for, but at least his words Thompson’s novels from his Lion Books days promises and offered small sums of money survive. were translated into French, and he became a IRU WKH ¿OP ULJKWV RI 7KRPSVRQ¶V RXWRI –Sean Carswell

Dan Monick's Photo Page BD: State your name, age, and occupation. BD: Do you have any favor Billy: My name is Billy Childish. I am forty-six years old and I’ve Billy: No, I just take them got lots of different jobs; most of them I don’t do. really, instead of going on t BD: Which ones do you not do? BD: The tube is? Childish and the Blackhands was the first band I ever heard from Billy: Well, I don’t really do any of them. Being an amateur is my Billy: No, the cycling aroun h. It was a sort of skiffle band, with a tea chest bass, horns, drums, job: amateur and gentleman. BD:'R\RXHYHUJR¿VKLQJ (if I remember right), and accordion. At the time, I didn’t think BD: Being a gentleman is not something people claim out here in Billy:1RWVLQFH,ZDVDER he idea that I liked this band. I didn’t realize that Billy Childish southern California a lot, but in the South, where I’m from, we have ULYHU GRHVQ¶W ORRN VR JRRG a legendary English punk rocker who’d had been in more bands, put the southern gentleman. 7KHUH¶VDORWPRUHSHRSOHDE Billy: A southern gentleman… who’d be a southern gentleman? when I was young. nes, paintings, and various other projects than I had years in my life. BD: William Faulkner. BD: What about climbing t an to read more—and hear stories—about his work, it opened my Billy: What about Atticus Finch? The chap… the lawyer out of To Billy: Again, I was very g of the possibilities that can be with what time we have. Kill a Mockingbird. He’s a southern gentleman isn’t he? Leadbelly ¿VKHUPDQ²EXW,ZDVYHU\ would be a southern gentleman—one who’s killed a few people—but older, you become more wo h has put out over one hundred records, written several novels, hopefully learned not to do that. I was a kid, I had no fear o BD: What’s it like where you’re from? I sort of worry about fallin of poetry, and created thousands of paintings. His efforts have Billy: It’s thirty miles outside London on a river, and it used to be nimble. I can nip up—you k y people. He has inspired, infuriated, and refined the world that a very big naval dockyard for the Royal Navy, but it’s not anymore, still. Not necessarily to show m, yet he holds fast to the claim that all endeavors and all projects so they got a bit of half-assed tourism and no real sort of cultural and I will climb a tree a bit involved in are not the work of a skilled professional dabbling in element at all. BD: So the Shoulder Leap ms, but instead are the hobbies of an amateur. BD: Seems like you might help bring some of the cultural element he performs the feat of to them. wasn’t terrifying? Billy: Ah, they don’t really want it. Billy: Well he’s a tall chap ny ideas and so much already written on Mr. Childish, I wasn’t sure BD: What kind of bicycle do you have? Medways and Chatham Sin him. Should I talk about the influence of Hendrix or Leadbelly? Billy: I’ve got a couple of bikes. I’ve got one, a 1913—it’s a bit You’ve got to be careful. I u him about Louis-Ferdinand Celine, or his relationship with Dan XQLGHQWL¿HG²EXWLW¶VSUREDEO\DQ5R\DO(Q¿HOGDQGWKHQ,¶YHJRWD Shoulder Leap of Death. D f John Fante)? Basically, I figured I could either take it to the 1935 BSA, twin tubed. So it’s a 28-inch frame. Very tall. WKDWKH¶VJRLQJWRFDWFKP\ BD: Was that the bike you were riding in the video (The Golden of him, ‘cause he’s about 6 echnicality or sit back and be a dude and talk about things that Monkey)? BD: Do ya’ll have any pets tit ted a lei ely e ati I h e the latte a d i y Bill Y h I hi k h h bik b ld ’ ll i Bill NId’ll BD: Is there anything you listen to? think it said that they… does it say they were the fastest group in the t that my son’s one was a Billy: I don’t, really. About two or three times a year we might get world or something? I think it said “fastest group in the world” and upposed it would be a red records out and listen. And I’ll play things my wife hasn’t heard I thought that was really good. Because it’s not like, “My group’s or she’ll play things I haven’t heard. She likes music, but I don’t faster than your group.” I just liked the idea that it was the fastest like her to play music or listen to the radio when I’m there ‘cause it group in the world, not the best group. And I thought it was a silly ls and they’ve got them in irritates me. I don’t like noise. name as well so we probably just all said, “Oh can we have a T- oyed all the red squirrels. BD: So are the days silent? shirt?” and happened to be wearing them. I’ve never heard Napalm p until the ‘40s, there were Billy: Yeah. Death I don’t think. You know, it’s a silly name isn’t it? Sexton likes American squirrels, brought BD: Quiet? that sort of thing, but I couldn’t be involved in that. I had to be on a decimating the red squirrel Billy: Yeah. record with him. He did a death metal album. got. I like robins, English BD: On an album it said you play the glockenspiel. What is that? BD: Sexton did? nimal there, but I’ve always Billy: Glockenspiel… it’s one of those dun, dong, ding. [Makes the Billy: Yeah apparently. And it’s called—we released a couple of tufts on their ears. They’re motions of playing a xylophone.] tracks on one of the Medway Powerhouse (compilations)—and it’s BD: I thought it was a wind organ of some kind. called… I can’t remember the name he used; someone and “heavy back yard. What do you Billy: No, we’ve got some old wind organs at home and things. mates.” There’s a thing called “Make a Cod Piece out of Wilkin’s older than me and if he saw BD: We were listening to The Cheeky Cheese (an album of rather Face,” and Wilkins—that’s Russ—Russ was in the Pop Rivets and he has to make it into some me greens, sometimes, and strange nursery rhymes he recorded with Sexton Ming, who he the couple of groups we were in, and Sexton did a song called “Make boy there who saw it as w ut we have got a little bit. collaborated on several albums with) last night… a Cod Piece out of Wilkin’s Face,” and it’s some sort of death metal I was a kid. and Hangman’s Daughter; Billy: Yeah, it’s got some glockenspiel and some wind organ on it. thing. I had to play guitar for it. BD: You ever seen a ghost BD: What’s up with Sexton Ming? BD: You did? Billy: Yeah, I’ve seen a gho BD: Do you have a ghost s KHQ,GLG+DQJPDQ5HFRUGV Billy: Ahh, he’s all right. He’s just doing his stuff. We’re half way Billy: I think I had to. Yeah. We recorded an album that never came wanted me to do CDs and through doing another LP, but we did half of it a year and a half out. We had a couple of tracks on some of the Powerhouse Records, Billy: Not really, but I’ve because I wouldn’t do CDs ago and we haven’t done the other half yet. We might do it, just but I can’t remember the name of the group. nighttime, quite close up. A d I said they could do it as another Cheeky Cheese stuff. We’ve been doing those since the early BD: Have you ever seen a UFO? I was about fourteen. And And that doesn’t exist either. eighties… late seventies, really. And this new one’s called Dung Billy: Yeah. people thought was sort of Beatle Rolls Again. BD: Where? spirit animal for me, it mi when I was about fourteen, ages. But Hangman Books BD: There’s a photo from Plump Prizes and Little Gems (another Billy: ,QWKHJDUGHQZKHQ,ZDVOLWWOH,WZDVÀ\LQJDFURVVWKHKRXVH Childish/Ming collaboration) of you and Sexton, and there’s a in broad daylight. It was a very slow-moving silver disk—revolving these things that live in Eng e you over here visiting? house in the background with a lot of paintings on it. Is that were very slowly. You couldn’t tell how big it was, but it looked like it was BD: Really? Billy: Yeah, and there’s lo ot a tour. A tour is usually you live now? DERXWWHQRU¿IWHHQIHHWDFURVV$SHUIHFWFLUFOHJRLQJYHU\VORZO\ We’re just doing half-dozen Billy: No, that’s where I lived then. It was a rented house, and It looked like it was a hundred or a couple hundred feet up. I saw it I saw them people wouldn known then. I saw it when id, “Well, I should do some that garden had the cherry tree knocked down and another house DQG,VKRZHGLWWRP\EURWKHUDQGKHVDLGLWZDVQ¶WDÀ\LQJVDXFHU built on the side of it. That shed was on the side—where we had it was a jet, and I said, “Well, why is it round then?” My brother’s panther in the woods. into now or been into in the paintings on it—and they’ve concreted over the garden, so it’s just a concrete lump there. It’s sort of gone. That was 107 was a fan of poetry, though. Rochester Street. Yeah, we did an album called 107 Rochester Street, I think. It’s some of our Milkshakes (one of the labels they recorded on) demos that we recorded there. The 107 Tapes I think either. I just… poetry is not it’s called. s. BD: On Caesars Remains, you are all wearing Napalm Death shirts. What’s up with that?

BD: Tell me about the Native American songs album you did. can do that stuff. I reckon I could build a house if I had to. I could Billy:,¶PLQWHUHVWHGLQWKRVHVRUWRIWKLQJV,¿QGQRYHOVDELWVLOO\VR build a strange type of shelter if I needed to, and it probably would I like reading history a bit. A lot of history is silly as well, but maybe be quite good. not as silly as novels. I was interested in American Indian stuff since BD: Like what? I was about seventeen or eighteen. I think I read Bury My Heart at Billy: I don’t know. Some sort of shed. I like sheds. But I could Wounded Knee, and then I was interested in a lot of American Indian probably knock something together if push comes to shove, you stuff, and also listening to Jimmy Hendrix, or Link Wray, people like know, if I was in Robinson Crusoe’s sort of situation. that—Muddy Waters, who’ve obviously got a bit of American Indian BD: I want to thank you for your hospitality and time for letting me background. My wife’s a bit of American Indian. Julie’s like Black, ask you these questions, but I have one more. I grew a mustache American Indian, and English. for six months one time ‘cause I was bored, and I got a lot of food BD: A friend of mine sent me a (Louis-Ferdinand) Celine quote caught in it… the other day that read, “Never believe straight off in a man’s Billy: Yeah. unhappiness. Ask him if he can still sleep. If the answer is yes, all is BD: What’s the worst food to eat with a mustache the likes of yours? well. That is enough.” Billy: Ice cream. And buttered toast. The worst thing to eat when Billy: Yeah, if someone can sleep, they’re doing all right, I suppose. having a mustache is butter or cream ‘cause it smells, immediately. In a miserable sort of way, Even the freshest butter—if you get it in your mustache you can just Celine was a bit of a comedian, really, isn’t he? smell it—and then it takes a lot to wash it out. So if you eat buttered BD: What about your translation of Cannon Fodder (a collection toast, it’s best to eat it upside down. Yeah. It’s no good. RI SLHFHV IURP DQ XQ¿QLVKHG PDQXVFULSW ZKLFK ZDV VWROHQ IURP Celine’s apartment)? Billy: That’s not really much of a translation, really. Kyra (De Coninck) did most of the stuff. She could speak the language, and I’d just tell her to guess what was being said and I’d just try and write it into English, because I don’t speak any other languages. So it was FROODERUDWLRQ$QG)UHQFKLVQ¶WKHU¿UVWODQJXDJH²VKH¶V%HOJLXP² VR'XWFKZDVKHU¿UVW)UHQFKZDVKHUVHFRQGDQGZHKDGWRGRLW like that, and she’d just tell me what she thought was going on and then I’d write it down. And I was very familiar with Celine’s writing so I could guess a bit on how it would be written or what it would be about. BD: I have a copy of your book Notebook of a Naked Youth and one RIWKH¿UVWWKLQJV,QRWLFHGZDVWKHXVHRIHOOLSVHVWKH³«´WKH³OLWWOH music” that I think Celine called it. Billy: All right. BD: Yeah, after Journey to the End of the Night with Death on the Installment Plan, the translators either decided to include it or Celine himself developed it more, I’m not sure, but you use it? Billy: Yeah, I know. I don’t really use it so much any more. What it ZDVLVWU\LQJWR¿QGDZD\²LWGH¿QLWHO\FDPHIURP&HOLQHZKHQ, ZDVGRLQJLW²EXWLWZDVVRUWRIOLNH¿QGLQJDZD\EHFDXVH,GRQ¶W really understand punctuation, but I understand punctuation a bit more now so I don’t need it as much. BD: What do you think about structured grammar as a whole? Billy: Well, I think it’s nice to communicate what you mean. In history books, maybe, or in textbooks, I think spelling and grammar are probably quite handy. But I don’t like things being too standardized. When I write, I try to work out how things… people… You know, if you’ve got a computer and I write something into it, it says, “this is not a real sentence” for everything I write. But then that means that nobody speaks in real sentences, you know, because if you write down how people talk then it was not a real sentence. So, it’s like trying to get something that approximates the way people talk to each other, which really blows out a lot of grammar. I don’t know much about… I’m very uneducated and I don’t know much about grammar. I don’t know what vowels and nouns and things are. I only know they’re names for things. BD: What kind of wood do you use for your woodcuts? Billy: I think pear is meant to be very good. I’ve never used proper wood. I just use old pine, and then it’s very splintery and harder to FRQWURO7KHVWURQJHUWKHJUDLQLVWKHPRUHGLI¿FXOWLWLVWRFXW6R pine’s probably the worst thing, and that’s what I use. You know; it’s splintery, and a lot of people don’t use it. BD: What about building things? Have you ever built a house or a guitar or a banjo? Billy: No. I’m not so good at doing practical things. I decided that I don’t do that, and that means I can’t be asked to do it then. It’s good not to be good at some things so you don’t have to do it. My brother cool culture we have in Philly. I guess you could call it incestuous...

e Loved Ones interview intro by Joe Evans III otos by Rudy Olivarez out by Uri Garcia

all compared to the “real” Joe: So what’s the story with the rat, the newt, and the bear? et just as crazy at times. Dave: Did you get that story from the Bouncing Souls? Joe: Yup. nd’s merit with all of their sure The Explosion would get to their show on time, and that they I needed a job that I’d be y’re condemning them, for Dave: I was working for the Bouncing Souls (on the road during one of their tours), with my friends Bob—who was doing their live got paid. And if anyone got drunk and broke anything, I had to saw an ad for this restauran dding a new harpsichord VPRRWKRYHUWKHZDWHUVRWRVSHDN>ODXJKLQJ@%XW,QHYHUDFWXDOO\ interview and they told me e their life, but you better sound—and Nick was driving everyone from show to show. Now, Nick is a pretty big, tall, gruff, and as you can guess, kinda like “managed” anything. for a second interview, but people exactly what they Joe: And you also own and run your own construction company? there for a while, and then nd of a shame, too. You a bear. He’s a great guy with a heart of gold. Anyway, he would always be really tired from driving and end up falling asleep Dave: I actually co-own it, with my partner Jed, yeah. the catering department. I g h, scream so loud, or play Joe: How long have you been doing that for? VWDUWHGSD\LQJPHSUHWW\ZH gether and get boring. But backstage while we were doing the sound check. Noticing this, Bob and I sort of decided that we were going to mess with him Dave: :HOO,ZDVDVXEFRQWUDFWRUIRU\HDUVDQG\HDUV,QEHWZHHQ is basically get there really touring when I was working for bands, I would come home and do WKHRUGHUVWRJRRXWDQGWKH also Washington DC, if a little. So one night after he falls asleep, we tape his arms and legs together, cover him in candy, and all sorts of other crazy stuff different construction work. It just got to the point where my friend GRVWXIIOLNHERULQJRI¿FHP t) The Loved Ones come Jed was also a subcontractor, and we decided, “Hey, we could make Thomas’s (Matchbox Twen ZHFRXOG¿QGO\LQJDURXQG>ODXJKLQJ@:HPDGHWKLVKDWRXWRID for having some amazing Styrofoam bowl and put it over his head. It’s just this story that got a lot more money if we had our own company.” The company that Joe: :KDWZDVWKDWOLNH"' The Man Who Questions a little bit exaggerated, but I guess not by much since we essentially hired us as subs just gave us our own contract. Ultimately, it was a Mike: No, not too much ou having to compete against did all of that stuff to him—and he woke up and was freaking out decision I had to make if I was going to continue to tour, just out IRRGDQG,RQO\VDZDERXW¿ mselves, too]), where it’s while we were waiting there for him. It’s kind of a Bouncing Souls of necessity: I got married, bought a house. I have to be able to SLJJLQJRXW>ODXJKLQJ@2WK d suddenly finding yourself inside joke, but the gist of it is the time when Nick freaked out PDLQWDLQDOORIWKDW)RUWXQDWHO\-HGLVDJUHDWGXGHZKR¶VZLOOLQJWR had a smoke machine going members of The Loved because Bob and I were completely torturing him. KROGGRZQWKHIRUWZKLOHZH¶UHRQWRXU>ODXJKV@ LWDOOMXVWWR¿QGWKHWDEOHV of accomplishments under Joe: Dave, did you start off by being in bands, or working with bands? Joe: Spider, you work at The Washington Post? if I had to actually serve. I lly stop them from saying, Dave: I was in bands in high school and stuff like that, but starting Spider: Yes. walks in, sets up, and gets something new.” out touring—I started with Kid Dynamite as their merch guy, in Joe: :KDWGR\RXGRWKHUH" whenever I want though. o their previous endeavors. 1999, or maybe 1998. I roadied for a couple of years, and then did a Spider: I’m a Copy Aide there, which mostly means I don’t do Joe: Spider, how did you e anything that exciting. Sometimes I’ll do some small writing Spider: me of their old bands were EDQGFDOOHG7KH&XUVH:HZHUHWRJHWKHUIRUDERXWD\HDUDQGWKHQLW >ODXJKV@,DFWXDOO\ assignments, but I’ve really worked all over the paper. I’ve worked Kid Dynamite, Dave (Haus more heartfelt, even though ¿]]OHGRXW)URPWKHUH,ZDVMXVWGRLQJVRPHRWKHUURDGLHVWXIIZKLOH if implying that everything writing songs that would ultimately become Loved Ones material, for the style section, the weekend section. I’ve worked for the Kids H\HDQGWKH\EHOLHYHGLW and starting to put that all together. Post department, which was a lot of fun. I’m just glad they let me PRQWK ,¶G ZRQGHU ZK\ H than, “Oh, that’s nice”? JRRQWRXUDQGKDYHQ¶W¿UHGPH\HW7KH\¶UHSUHWW\VXSSRUWLYHRI driver’s license. I guess Ja mething new.” Joe: And you did some managing too? Dave: Actually tour managing. That’s actually what keeps going into this life. would say something abou Joe: And Mike, you work for a catering service? Joe: So you were complete RXUELR,VKRXOGSUREDEO\KDYHWKDWFRUUHFWHG>ODXJKLQJ@,¶YHQHYHU Mike: I do. Spider: PDQDJHGDEDQGRWKHUWKDQWKLVRQH)RUDOOLQWHQWVDQGSXUSRVHVZH

Mike: Yes, this is true. KRZ WR GR WKDW IURP EHLQJ LQ EDQGV DQG ZRUNLQJ ZLWK EDQGV 6R Joe: $QGWKLVDOVRLQFOXGHVZRUNLQJRQ\RXURZQ¿[HGJHDUELNH" ZHGH¿QLWHO\FDPHRXWRIWKHJDWHDQGKDYHQ¶WVORZHGGRZQIURP Mike: I have many, yeah. I just sold my Cannondale track, and I GD\RQH$QGZH¶YHKDGDFOHDUGH¿QHGYLVLRQRIZKDWZHZDQWHG MXVWWUDGHGP\($,EDUHNQXFNOHWUDFNIRUDQROGHU,WDOLDQYLQWDJH WRGRERWKPXVLFDOO\DHVWKHWLFDOO\$OOWKDWVWXIIZHVRUWRINQHZ WUDFNIUDPH,¶YHEXLOWDFRXSOHFRQYHUVLRQVDQG,KDYHDQ,52WUDFN ³2ND\WKLVLVZKDWZH¶UHJRLQJZLWK´DQG,WKLQNLW¶VEHHQFRRO,W¶V IUDPH WKDW¶V PRUH OLNH D VWUHHW¿[HG IUDPH , KDYH DQ ,WDOD URDG not quiteDVRUJDQLFDVDEDQGVXFKDVWKH%RXQFLQJ6RXOVZKR¶YH ELNH,MXVWVROGD3LQQHUHORURDGELNH2WKHUWKDQSOD\LQJPXVLFLW¶V EHHQDURXQGIRU¿IWHHQ\HDUV7KH\ZHUHDIXQNEDQGIRUDFRXSOH GH¿QLWHO\P\PDLQKREE\,JHHNRXWDERXWLW RI\HDUVDQGOLNHWKLVDQGWKDW7KH\¶YHJRQHWKURXJKDQXPEHURI Joe: +RZGLG\RXJHWLQWRDOORIWKDW" FKDQJHVZKLFK,WKLQNWKDW¶VHQGHDULQJ,WKLQNSHRSOHORYHEDQGV Mike: $FWXDOO\ZKHQ,ZDVLQDEDQGFDOOHG7ULDO%\)LUHWZRRIWKH OLNHWKDW²ZKRKDYHEHHQDURXQGIRUVRORQJEHFDXVHWKH\¶YHJURZQ JX\VLQWKDWEDQGZHUHELNHPHVVHQJHUVLQ'&7KH¿[HGJHDUELNH XSZLWKWKHP²DQGVHHQWKHPFKDQJH,JXHVVZLWKXVLW¶VMXVWWKDW LVDIDYRULWHDPRQJVWPHVVHQJHUVEHFDXVHLW¶VYHU\VLPSOHUHOLDEOH ZHKLWWKHJURXQGUXQQLQJDQGZH¶UHKRSLQJSHRSOHZLOOFRQQHFW DQGUHDOO\JRRGLI\RXNQRZKRZWRULGHLWLQWUDI¿FWKHZD\\RX ZLWKZKDWZH¶UHGRLQJ FDQWUDQVIHU\RXUZHLJKWDQGSLYRWLW¶VMXVWUHDOO\VPRRWKWKURXJK Joe: 7RH[SDQGRQWKDWDOLWWOH3KLODGHOSKLDLVNQRZQIRUKDYLQJD WUDI¿F6R,VWDUWHGULGLQJP\JXLWDULVW&ROLQ¶VWUDFNELNHDURXQG²KH YHU\VWURQJSXQNVFHQHEHWZHHQSHRSOHEHLQJLQPXOWLSOHEDQGVDV KDGD%HQRWWRWUDFNELNH²DQGLW¶VDQDGGLFWLYHIHHOLQJ$FRXSOHRI ZHOODVZRUNLQJWRJHWKHUWRKDYHVKRZV+DVDQ\RIWKLVDIIHFWHGWKH P\RWKHUIULHQGVZHUHJHWWLQJLQWRELNLQJDURXQGWKDWWLPHVR,JRW ZD\\RX¶YHZRUNHGZLWKWKLVEDQG" DURDGELNHHYHQWXDOO\FRQYHUWHGLWWRVLQJOHVSHHGDQGWKHQZHQW Dave: :HOOWKHRQO\WKLQJZH¶YHUXQLQWRZLWKWKDWZDVZKHQ,ZDV ¿[HGWZR\HDUVDJRDQGKDYHEHHQULGLQJEUDNHOHVV¿[HGVLQFH LQERWK3DLQW,W%ODFNDQG7KH/RYHG2QHV2QFH7KH/RYHG2QHV I feel fortunate about it to be part of a community like that.

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lier: you’re a pretty young immensely talented and somewhat gullible is an understatement.) punk scene early on. You chose to go down the road less traveled—starting a record ally involved. I just went and label. When did that come to mind? er guys who turned me onto Larry: Later. I wanted to do something involved with music. I like thirteen or fourteen. never had any aspirations to be in a band or get onstage in front are really into music, they of people or write a song or anything like that. I just liked music a or write about it; or if you’re lot. I liked records. I was buying records, so I thought it’d be a cool Laughner was the guitarist idea to actually make some. It was one way that I could actually get HGRQ3HUH8EX¶V¿UVWWZR involved in music that was suitable to my personality. and was good pals with rock Ryan: So when did that take place? When did you get the idea, the G KLV SUHVHQW GD\ FXOW VWDWXV germ for In the Red? Todd: I found out that Ryan: Now it’s almost like a legitimacy to done a bunch of singles with the Blues RIWK &'V DUH YHU\ XWLOLWDULDQ have vinyl releases. Explosion and he had produced bands JR You can burn a copy and Larry: &'VDUHJRLQJWRHQGXSRQ\RXUFDU for my label. And I had done a Pussy n travel around with it. dashboard. You’re not as careful with them. Galore live album. And I had done a “Oh, I just dropped it. No At least I’m not. %RVV+RJDOEXPZKHQDIWHUWKH\KDG big deal.” Ryan: You use them as a coaster. been dropped from Geffen. Pretty Larry: Yeah, they’re kind Larry: Yeah. much my association with that one of like cassettes now. They Todd: Or you go to a computer store and get guy, I think, is what did it. Free seem almost disposable. DVSRRORIEODQN&'VDQGUHDOL]HWKH\¶UHWHQ Kitten with Kim Gordon—they And now it has come cents a piece. were offering me a single when I around full circle, where I Larry: Yeah. It makes it hard to justify was a really tiny label still; I had release a new album and buying one for $14.99. done only a handful of singles. It people are downloading Todd: Or downloading for $14.99. ZDVRQO\EHFDXVH-RQZDVRQWKHUH it off of Soulseek for free, Larry: Yeah, exactly. I’m curious to see WRR VR VKH .LP *RUGRQ  ¿JXUHG but they’ll buy the vinyl. how it keeps going, because I think the new “You must be doing something right if o So I’m selling a lot more generation coming up is not going to care you’re dealing with him.” -RK vinyl in the last year about owning the artifact of the record. It’s Ryan: +RZGLG\RXPHHWKLP"-XVWWKURXJK wou or two. People are just only going to be an older crowd that buys it. going to shows all the time? out!” N People like us. Larry: Yeah. There was this band called The going, it w Ryan: I’m still a kid, kind of. Gibson Bros.—when I said I liked The Gories— that out. Some I was born the year Combat ZHUHRQHRIWKH¿UVWEDQGVWKDW,DSSURDFKHG,KDGWKHVH FDOOHG3DXO&XWOHUD Rock came out. others on this list that, “If they say ‘yes,’ then I’ll do it.” And The We sold out what we presse Larry: Well that’s good. There Gibson Bros. were on the list. They were a similar band that were didn’t lose money or anythi are a lot of young people I doing roots music but kind of fucked up. So I started writing to this Ryan: Slash and rer I Pod. Nothing. liked all the same stuff. And, coincidentally, none of the bands had trouble makers.” And when Larry: Wow! Well, you’re a base. And so, yeah, when the Blues Explosion had just started he they told me that only two o making a statement. gave me a cassette and said, “This is my new band.” And I really ZRUNLQWKHVDPHFXELFOHDW digitally downloading Ryan: [laughs] I just hope my car doesn’t OLNHGWKHPDORW6RZHMXVWVWDUWHGZULWLQJDQGKHDVNHG³'R\RX &XWOHULVEULOOLDQW$QGWKHR things legally or illegally, break down. want to do a single?” And I said, “Yeah, totally.” And I just kind of and really funny. usually illegally. I mean, I Todd: Going back to the beginning of In The kept going from there. We’re still good friends. We’re working on Ryan: 3DXO&XWOHUZDVDP do it myself on occasion if 5HG DIWHU \RX GLG WKH ¿UVW LQLWLDO UHOHDVHV an album now, compiling the singles. SURGXFHGDOEXPVE\WKH*X it’s a song I want and can’t when did you feel that, “Oh, I’m doing a Todd: It seems like you have people you’ve been working with ¿QGLW-XVWJRWR6RXOVHHN legitimate label” and quit your job? IRUDORQJWLPH0LFN&ROOLQVZDVLQ7KH*RULHVDQG\RXUHFHQWO\ UHOHDVHGWKDWGRXEOHDOEXPRI7KH'LUWERPEV photo by Miss Erika and it’s always there. Larry: I didn’t quit the job for a few years Luckily, there are people ODWHUOLNHµRUµ Larry: Yeah, I’ve kept up with him. When you’re doing stuff on ople who got it for free but want an artifact of the Todd: What was the job? such a small level—if you’re really passionate about it—I think ever real deal and buy the record. Larry: It was a job at a grocery store. I had the bands can tell you genuinely like them. And then you become hat, Ryan: Records are just a tactile object. been going to school and then I dropped out friends with them. And then when they come through town they’re tted Larry: Yeah, and the artwork is bigger. You of college halfway through. I was studying sleeping at your house. They become your buddies. I’ve been ays grew up with it, too. I think it is just one ¿QH DUWV , NHSW WKH JURFHU\ VWRUH MRE DQG IULHQGVZLWK0LFN&ROOLQVIRUWHQ\HDUV+HKDVKXQJRXWZLWKP\ h do of those things you like and don’t then started Mom and stuff. It’s cool. And if you don’t screw anyone over, do y or want to let go of. the label. any shifty deals, then there’s no reason for them not to keep dealing Todd: Ryan and I discussed this I kind of with you. cks before: there’s also a ceremony didn’t know Ryan: That’s the thing I like about In The Red Records: when you &'V involved with it. You have this what I was see that label stamp on it, you know you’re gonna get something record. You have something going to good; not to put you on the spot or anything, but it’s really cool. very real and you see real things do. And the You’ve done stuff where it’s like, “This is clearly not going to sell.” t of happening in front of you. And record label There’s no market for it, but because it’s a good record, you put P" you can’t do it all the time, but it’s snowballed. LWRXWDQ\ZD\2QHWKLQJWKDWFRPHVWRPLQGLVWKDW&RQVXPHUV At nice to have that reassurance that, It was a record you put out. Tell me how that came about. ULW\ “The music is actually a living, gradual Larry: 2KIXFN:KHQ,ZDVLQKLJKVFKRROLQ2UDQJH&RXQW\, &'V breathing thing.” thing. When had a buddy who hung around the 45 Grave crowd a bunch—pretty face Larry: Exactly. And turning over I was able FUD]\FURZG$QGZHZRXOGJRWRWKHVHSDUWLHVDW3DXO&XWOHUDQG the a record is a big deal. It adds a to quit the 'LQDK&DQFHU¶VKRXVH$QGZHZRXOGEHKDQJLQJRXWZLWKWKHVH QGV different personality to music. If job, that ROGHUSHRSOHLWZDVGH¿QLWHO\ZD\RXWRIP\GHSWK tter you have Exile on Main St. and was cool. Ryan: Like Rob Ritter and all those crazy dudes. her. you’re listening to four sides, it’s Todd: What Larry: Yeah. I remember going to this house party and Rob Ritter LJKW like, “Side two is the kind of country side. ZHUHVRPHRIWKHELJJHUVQRZÀDNHVRQWKDW was there. Geza X was there. (Geza X was an early L.A. punk kd dthidtd fld th Todd: And Europe s more vinyl friendly all the way through. too?” So I kind of had a deal going with the regret I have of something I passed or being one of the greatest Larry: Yeah, it has always been vinyl friendly and luckily that’s 5HLJQLQJ6RXQGEHIRUHWKDW¿UVWUHFRUGZDV on, because I paid for the recording ity. I remember watching 45 kind of stayed true. And Crypt doesn’t really do records anymore even released. I’d pretty much do anything of it. of him. No one played guitar and Estrus is kind of slowing down so I’m kind of one of the last with Greg or Mick Collins. Whatever sort of Ryan: Oh no! Oh no! That record men standing that’s still kind of doing this stuff. I think it has ZHLUG WKLQJ WKH\¶G VWDUW ,¶G GH¿QLWHO\ VLJQ is awesome! just been luck. It has always been snowballing and I always keep up to do it. I don’t care if it’s all ballads or Larry: I know. I know. thinking it is going to stop, like I’m going to have to get some kind whatever. Ryan: Oh man! of real job working for the city eventually. Ryan: His ballads are good! Time Bomb Larry: I would have been Todd: Something with a pension. High School is amazing. stepping on Sympathy’s toes to do ut Mick Collins—that kind of Larry: It just keeps going and I don’t think it can forever. I’ve just Larry: Yeah, the second album (for In The it. Long Gone John had some deal H¿UVWFRPHWR\RXUDWWHQWLRQ" been lucky. I try not to spend too much stupidly. Red Records) was originally supposed to with them where they owed him did a single with called ‘68 Ryan: I envision that being hard. I’m a huge Gene Clark fan and be half ballads, too, and then we scrapped another record. And they recorded XUHGRXWKHUHLVZKHUH,¿UVW he released No Other and it pretty much put the record company a ton of stuff that was recorded and made that on my dime, because I was from The Gibson Bros. and out of business. And you have to face the situation like: “Wow! I it Too Much GuitarDQGPDGHLWPRUHRID paying them for participating on I met Jeff. They splintered really love this guy more than anything in life but I can’t spend one blistering record. this Andre Williams record that arted ’68 Comeback and he KXQGUHGDQG¿IW\JUDQGRQWKLVUHFRUG´ Ryan: What did you think of that when you they backed him on a couple se with this band. Greg was Larry: Yeah. You have to learn to say no to people a bunch. Like ¿UVWJRWLW" songs. They recorded that record t’s how he drummed. And I said, Sparks was one case where I really overextended myself Larry: I love the ballads—and he’s so good fast and cheap. And then when And I became friends with compared to other things. But still, they sell enough records where at them—but my allegiance is always sort of I saw them out here on tour they band called the Compulsive I know at least most of it will come back. Like if I lose a thousand toward noisy rock’n’roll. So it kind of worked were like, “Well, we want you to me a few months later: “We or two dollars on Sparks, it won’t hurt me. I don’t really think I out. And we gave all the ballads that we cut off SXWLWRXW´DQG,ZDVMXPSLQJXS y from ‘68 Comeback is in will. I haven’t gone crazy. They’re a band that has been afforded a the record to Sympathy and Long Gone John and down. And when I mentioned ought to do something with lot more luxurious backing than I’ve been able to offer them. I’ve put out those as Home for Orphans. So, I think it to John at Sympathy, and he was just seeing him beat on one NHSWLWVPDOOE\WKHLUVWDQGDUGVLW¶VMXVWELJJHUE\P\VWDQGDUGV Greg has kind of established this pattern where QRWKDSS\,¿JXUHGLWZDVQ¶WZRUWK write songs and do all this I’ve dealt with this guy, Tav Falco of the Panther Burns, and I was it will be I get the rock’n’roll records and a friendship. But I think I made up warned before that he had sunk labels. And sure enough, the whole maybe Sympathy gets the mellow records. for it with the Reigning Sound. hing good. way it was me saying “no” to this guy. He was pushing for the most Ryan: That’s the thing about Greg—not That production, though, the really expensive stuff and I knew he didn’t sell very many records. only does he write these great records, but KDUVKVRQJVOLNHWKH¿UVWRQHVRQ Todd: Were there bands that approached you and you didn’t like his production job on them is rad. I always Too Much Guitar, I know that’s RQ into one. them, but that turned around over a period of time? thought he was fucking with people on that what Greg had in mind, but Jay and Alicja har your label and Crypt who Larry: Oh, yeah. I passed on The White Stripes. I didn’t do them one. Like, it wasn’t accessible, but if you from the Lost Sounds—mostly Alicja— Tod but I could have. Financially, that was a mistake. There are other really listen to it, it’s the greatest production produced that. sign still so small. I think I was things that I regret passing on that didn’t sell nearly as much, but I job since that Compulsive Gamblers’ Crystal Ryan: Really? I didn’t know that. ove DQGWKH\KDGMXVWUHFRUGHG regret more because it ended up being a cool thing. Larry: Yeah. Half that La being Soul Food. And they Todd: Like what? The Dirtbombs album was scrapped step ff of it because no one had Larry: /LNHWKH¿UVW&ORQH'HIHFWVDOEXP,KDGLWOLVWHQHGWRLW and they went back ban ypt was a friend of mine and once, and it didn’t hit me for some reason. Then I went and listened and recorded all this Rya dy releasing albums and he to it again and was like, “What was I thinking?” It would have been other stuff in Greg’s La got competitive until maybe cool to have White Stripes money, but I regret passing on the Clone record store. And Ban \LQJ¿HOG Defects more. I wish that record had been on my label. Alicja and Jay went Con UJDQL]HG",WVHHPVHI¿FLHQW Ryan: You made up for it with the Reigning Sound. in and recorded him. I kn Larry: I think so. No disrespect to Jack Alicja is really good at this t paying attention White. getting crazy sounds. wer t it all helps. Ryan: I’d take Cartwright over Jack She accommodated wan Lips are in White any day. Greg on getting some the It wasn’t Larry: 0HWRR:KHQ,¿UVWKHDUG of the harsh stuff. I c The White Stripes, I wasn’t that Todd: Yeah, she like you knocked out. Since, now that seems to understand abo ntion they’ve released a lot more what people are trying wit and stuff, I’ve heard songs to get to. wit de, where it’s like, “That’s Larry: 'H¿QLWHO\ An gs great. The guy is clearly Todd: And she’s in tha u really talented.” But from so many different am the little bit I heard, when bands, too, that UHD or , ¿UVW KHDUG LW LW GLGQ¶W she’ll pull a nuance in h, for whatever reason, jump out of something. on ch out at me. Larry: Yeah, she is idio ks. Ryan: Correct me if really, really talented. like ave ,¶P ZURQJ EXW WKH ¿UVW Both she and Jay kind wei ded Reigning Sound record is of blew me away Tea some not on In The Red. when I met them with the else to Larry: No, it’s on Sympathy. I how much they knew. bee ayed the don’t know if Greg was viewing Greg is more “set a GRH nd of hung LWDVDVRORSURMHFWWKDW¿UVWDOEXP mic up in front of an L.A think a lot of is mostly all ballads. And I was doing amp and just go for rare arted a label and The Deadly Snakes and Greg was in this hh library, baptized many a new reader with a thrown book, blasted many a face with their firebrand form of metal, and have devoted 100% of their lyrical content to the celebration of their favorite science fiction authors. Blöödhag is holding their imagination aloft like a battle-scarred sword, wagging its tip to you, humble music aficionado and discerning reader.

Todd: How serious are you guys about literacy? Interview by Todd Taylor Jake: When the band Pictures by Todd Taylor and Stacy Schrag started, the message was to illuminate the connection between heavy HERE and am going to It’s a fuzzy world where tension and discovery can still exist PHWDO DQG VFLHQFH ¿FWLRQ and to have played the because the seams haven’t been claimed. (And the real and fantasy so that heavy cked the young adults bonus is that those with little or no imagination don’t even metal fans could properly n featured in both the know this netherworld exists.) appreciate the authors that er. To the outside world, the words “literacy” and “punk rock” WKH VFLHQFH ¿FWLRQ²WKDW ou love is exploited, may seem mutually exclusive, as in, “Punks are brickbrains. they were being exposed un into the ground, look End of story.” Not so. It’s in these seams, between these WR WKURXJK KHDY\ PHWDO² al stitching at the edges. words and worlds, that Blöödhag exist. Blöödhag aren’t a derived from. ams are where worlds— joke. They’re a bonafide, ten-year-running DIY punk band Jeff: So they could sical geography—meet. who’ve become very concerned that people read. It’s understand the references where these things are coming from and not just assume that these bands made these things up. Jake: And, as we progressed as a band in terms of performance, we Science fiction helpe HQGHG XS SOD\LQJ RXU ¿UVW library show and it sort of synched in with that. What be more of a punk we’re really talking about here is trying to get people to read. We were trying to an anarchist in the get those metal fans to read LQ WKH ¿UVW SODFH VR ZH might as well just try to get It’s allowed me conc everybody to read. Jeff: The idea of literacy never thought of befo when we started Blöödhag ZDV UHDOO\ QRW², KDYH WR DGPLW²HYHQ LQ RXU PLQGV We just assumed that we Jake: We had a whole list were already literate, so we were like, “No, here’s how literate we Jeff: We’d sit at pubs, whe are.” Then it became, “Woah, not only are we being asked to play and make this ultimate list library shows, but now we actually have to take ourselves seriously. started at the Lake Union P The lie became the truth and it’s worked out. we thought were so great. W Jake: Both my parents, being librarians, and my mom, at one point, WKHPRVWQRQVHQVLFDORQH7 EHLQJLQYROYHGLQDQDGXOWOLWHUDF\SURJUDP²ZKLFK,GLGQ¶WUHDOO\ JRRGPHWDOEDQGQDPHVDUH KDYH DQ\ FRQQHFWLRQ ZLWK DW DOO², WKLQN WKH ZKROH VXSSRUWLQJ PRVWULGLFXORXVPHWDOQDPH libraries, supporting literacy, that has been sitting in the back of my Zach: But it works so well h df hil ditj tkid f t feel more comfortable singing as opposed to leaning on the Cookie Monster as a crutch for the metal. Todd: Say that Blöödhag really takes off and you can afford to do really great slash dumb stuff that would represent the band, either live or in an ongoing project. What would you do? Zach: A really, really tricked-out Bookmobile that we could tour in. Todd: Where the side would come down and open up to a stage? Brent: Bookshelves all behind us. Jake: If this could pay the rent, we’d be doing a hell of a lot more than we are. We all ZRUNIXOOWLPHMREV:HPLJKWVWLOOGRWKLV the parody of WASP’s Animal F**k Like a Beast, which is going to be called R**d Like a Beast, read like a beast, which would have the bloody book codpiece front cover. But , FDPH XS ZLWK DQRWKHU LGHD IRU D WVKLUW a close-up of a heavy metal crotch, ala the Motley Crüe Too Fast for Love; a pair of tight jeans. The bulge in the crotch is actually a book; a paperback shoved down there. The cock bulge is a book bulge and the title of it is Hard to Learn or Hard to Read. I would like to add a video projector. ,VDWDQG¿OPHGRYHUP\VKRXOGHUP\VHOI We were trying to get those reading a book for half an hour. Turn the page every once in awhile. Filled up the whole frame with two pages of a book. metal fans to read in the first pla

photo by Stacy Schrag Iron Maiden-style and Dewey Decibel in mortal combat, Heroes. I belonged to two different D & Jak DW , pitch speed ho people phrase ords thGtth l t itdb fi dJffSt Th DMhihhlfidN Jake: I think what had been the ultimate like J.K. Rowling ten times today. William Jeff: The only way—Ray Bradbury s int PRPHQW IRU PH LV ZKHQ WKH\ KDG WKH ¿UVW Gibson was awesome because when we met said it—you can actually teach yourself Jef article on us on National Public Radio and him, we explained to him what we did and something is if you’re literate; above and and they had the voice of NPR reading my lyrics. we handed him our CD. He autographed our beyond a skill. The only way you can exa I was so gleeful about that. I was lying in my CD and handed it back to us. [laughter] bring knowledge from somewhere else into bas bed. It was nine o’clock in the morning and I Jeff: We were like, “No, that’s for you.” yourself is through reading. I don’t care roc was gripping my sheets. I was pulling them And he’s like, “What do you mean?” “Open if it’s on the internet, you’re still fuckin’ to off the bed, kicking my legs, and squealing it up. Look. There you are.” reading. The Quakers, who were formative issu like a girl. Zach: 7KH¿UVWWKLQJKHVDLGZDV³

photo by Stacy Schrag Zach: Science Fiction Writers of America Jeff: People have a shelf on their bookshelf Jeff: That’s fun and that’s rock’n’roll. abo magazine, too. that is a collection of books that they’ve Jake: Unless you’re going to commit QRQ Jeff: Weirdest band list of gotten at Blöödhag shows. It doesn’t suicide after the next show, you’ve got to go QRQ accomplishments. necessarily say that they’ve read them, but it somewhere else with the material. allo Zach: Perseverance. That’s what that is. does say that they’re thinking about it. Then Zach: All surface, no depth. pas Ten years. there are random people who have said, Jake: We came up with Edu-Core as a response sta Todd: You feel like a veteran after awhile. “That book that you threw at me, I want you to the fragmentation of metal and punk into all you Brent: All of a sudden, people revere you to know that I actually read it.” People who these sub-pieces of punk: peace punk, posi Jef as, “He’s been at it.” And take you seriously. are true Blöödhag fans, even if they’re not punk, and when you ask two different people LI\ because Vince McMahon is doing exactly You’ve paid your dues a little bit. big readers—it’s almost more important to what these things mean, they both give you a Jak h. what he wants to do against what everybody Todd: :KDW RWKHU VFLHQFH ¿FWLRQ DXWKRUV them if they’re not big readers—make sure different answer. Punk rock, different than pop Jef een in the industry is telling him is a bad idea. have you come in contact with? Ursula K. that they tell the band, “I read that book you music, is one of the only forms of music that ma or. And that’s the way he’s always approached LeGuinn? threw out.” instills a sense of its own history. hav things. It’s kind of like what George Bush is Zach: Kurt Vonnegut. I emailed Michael Zach: What I’ve found out, with the bands Zach: And hip hop, too. Jak at doing. It doesn’t matter if it’s illegal or not. Moorcock. we’ve played with. Mostly, the harder the Jake: The kids who are co-opted, that go to fut ow Todd: What’s been the ultimate moment for Jeff: William Gibson, Greg Bear, band, the more literate they are. Say, super Hot Topic, and buy that shit, they still have tha did you in Blöödhag? Harlan Ellison. doom, black metal, they’ve taken the time to to buy that patch that says Black Flag… UHD Jeff: For me, it happened quite recently. Jake: We’ve met Octavia Butler at a look up some of the sources of where all that Jeff: Or Rancid… ma was We got a great review. I’ve always kind reading. I gave her a CD with a burn of goth stuff is coming from. Jake: Or DK or whatever on it, and that peo s.” RI FRPSODLQHG WKDW« DW ¿UVW ZH VXFNHG our song about her. She was looking at Jeff: Plus, you kind of have to be a nerd IRUFHV WKHP DW VRPH SRLQW WR ¿JXUH RXW not use Okay, I’m going to admit that. But then I me like I was going to stab her. I was to be into that music to a certain degree who these people are and maybe go that next Za VSHQW QLQH \HDUV ¿JXULQJ RXW KRZ WR SOD\ explaining it to her, then her handler was because you have to search it out and VWHSDQG¿QGRXWDOLWWOHELWPRUHZKHUHDV the els guitar and crafting songs and, yet, no one all lit up: “No, this is cool.” That’s what actually go and get it. in pop music, if you’re wearing a Brittney VSH and ever once mentioned that our music was these authors’ biggest fear is, is some kind Jake: As we’ve said in the past, there’s no Spears shirt twenty years after Brittney Dic badass until about a year ago. And people of Misery situation, some type of stalker difference between someone who’s obsessed Spears isn’t cool anymore, then you’re Jef eter actually started noticing, “Oh god. You guys fan. It’s a totally different type of celebrity with music and someone’s who’s obsessed making some kind of ironic comment. No, jus gs. are a really good band.” There was a thing because even sometimes your biggest ZLWKVFL¿ it doesn’t happen. Br t is in the Portland Mercury, and the guy said fan wouldn’t necessarily recognize you, Jeff: Or sports. Zach: But punk and hip hop do have cultures bat ng, that: “They’ve moved beyond shtick and standing next to you on the street, because Jake: Hip hop. Anybody who tells you around them. The best part of it encourages Za th l k f th t b k diff t it’ j t diff t l l f d l t thi k f th f ki l h rthwest Ed

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59 WKH¿UVWSODFH,W¶VDOORZHGPHFRQFHSWVWKDW ,¶GQHYHUWKRXJKWRIEHIRUH Brent: ,¶YHDOZD\VKDGDQDSSUHFLDWLRQIRU the dystopian novel as social and political VDWLUH *HRUJH 2UZHOO %HFDXVH WKHUH¶V VR PXFKWKHUHDQGLW¶VDJUHDWZD\WREULQJXS topics that may or may not be controversial LQDZD\WKDW\RX¶UHQRWSRLQWLQJ¿QJHUVDQG \RX¶UH QRW SUHDFKLQJ

61 Jake: I work at a book store chain. I got the job because I was in Blöödhag. It’s a good job. I like working in a bookstore. I’ve only been working there for six months and I have to say I can’t believe I never worked in a bookstore before. Prior to that, I was unemployed for long periods of time. I also announce for the Rat City Roller Girls rollerderby and I also occasionally do work with a small wrestling group in Seattle called Seattle Semi-Pro Wrestling. I used to announce full-time for them, but now I play a manager character. I really want to pursue doing announcing, perhaps radio work in the future. The band has led to me having a deeper voice and having more control over my voice to the point where I could do this announcing thing without any troubles. Something about jabbering about authors off the top of my head has made me a really fast play-by-play guy. I live with my girlfriend and we have a cat and an apartment with a mole problem. Zach: I’m an accountant. I’m an enrolled agent, which means I’m licensed to practice before the IRS, so if you ever have any tax troubles, you can come to me. I spend my day—I work for really nice people—it’s actually an awesome job because the people I work for are never unpleasant, even though it’s occasionally boring being an accountant. I talk to the IRS for people a lot. It’s mostly what I do. I’m married. I have a house and a beautiful back \DUG ZLWK D ¿J WUHH DQG D SOXP tree. I have three cats. I do a lot of Blöödhag. I read a lot. Watch a lot of TV. I’m probably the most settled of the Blöödhags. Jeff: I wear many hats. My primary job, twenty hours a week, is I work When William Gibson, at the Redmond Firehouse Teen Center, which doesn’t pay the bills. I am the Media Lab Coordinator, a guy with a really good imagination. which means that I’m in charge of the studio there and also, to a large degree, the whole sound tells you that what you’re teaching class. Basically, I started out teaching for the Vera Project. So, for two years in a row, I taught doing is weird, at this thing called Rock School, hell yeah. which teaches kids music and how to be in a rock band. We have kids develop their own songs. This year, to customers about alternative foods. It’s a it’s kind of bizarre. I also screen print I’m going to be teaching for the pretty good job. It’s weird though because T-shirts for the band and do that in my EMP, which is a week-long thing. It’s going I’ve worked in kitchens my whole life basement. I play music in other side to be fuckin’ awesome, but it’s making me and now it’s retail and working a kitchen projects. In Audio Infidels, I sing and be completely professional. I actually have job. I have to be stirring a soup and play guitar. I’ve got a big backyard and to write a syllabus and a course description. simultaneously watching the counter, so do the weeding. I also work as a receptionist / business

63 too many skateparks and so little time. It’s cutting into my reading time. It sucks. Jeff: I think about gear. I’m obsessive about it. I’m not as geeky as some people. I’m not Steve Albini about it. I think about music a lot. Also, like Zach, I think about a lot of esoteric things, but I think of them more in a metaphysical manner and a little bit less of a VFLHQWL¿FPDQQHU,DOVRWKLQNDERXWKLVWRU\ a lot and sex. Zach: I’m an obsessive news junkie. I read the New York Times every day, online. I have my sites that I go to every day and read. 3ROLWLFVRFFXOWRUVFLHQWL¿FVWXIIDUHPRVW of the links. I used to write a conspiracy theory column, so I think about conspiracies a lot. I’m really good at doing research. Jake: That’s why he’s the fact checker of the band. Todd: What keeps you going? Jake: What keeps us going is the same thing that’s kept us going the whole time, absolute lack of forward momentum. Jeff: It’s all through natural slacking. Jake: We don’t actively call anybody, but we’re completely open to new things, so that if something pokes its head in, we grab it and ride that as long as we can. Jeff: It’s a slow process. Brent: At this point, the iron’s hot. There’s no reason to stop. We’re kind of cruising through it. I think a smart audience can feel that, through stage presence, if a band is going through the motions for the sake of money or their image or to legitimize their lifestyle. When you see a band that’s there because they love it, you can tell. Zach: I love everything about Blöödhag. Great bunch of guys. I love the weird shit we get to do, that time we did that nation-wide library tour. I sent out a feeler to a couple people. “Hey, we’re going to tour. We want to play some libraries.” And we got three hundred requests to play libraries. That was just overwhelming. We did ten. Jake: :H¶UHIULHQGV¿UVWDQGDEDQGVHFRQG Jeff and I have been making music forever and we’ve never even thought of ourselves as “a band.” It’s just about collaboration between us and, whatever we want to call that stuff, great. We were fortunate enough to have good friends who we can add to this project and make it a reality for the last ten years. It’s just the fact that we’re pals that allows us to keep going.

www.bloodhag.com manager partner for a salon that’s made up of Zach: I think a lot about the nature of people who are really, really close friends of identity. I think about other dimensions a mine. For three, four hours a day, I hang out lot. I’m really good at tuning other people with really cute girls cutting hair and really out while I think about those things. I get nice guys who cut hair, talk on the phone, caught in my own little world a lot. They’re jibber jabber. I’ve also recorded a shitload of pretty weighty subjects. bands and I engineered the new record. Jake: I think a little bit of politics and then a Jake: Except, I was the one that actually lot of pro wrestling and I think about where NORTH pressed play, record, and stop. I didn’t ask words and phrases come from. I’m really for any credit, though. into etymology recently; been reading a lot Todd::KDWGR\RX¿QG\RXUVHOIWKLQNLQJ of books on that. When I hear somebody EDU CORE about the most? saying a colloquialism, it sticks in my brain. Jake: Sex… when? And then sex. Todd: What’s a recurring thing you don’t Brent: I think about skateparks all the time stop thinking about? and I dream about skateparks. There are WEST stab at reverse psychology, that title pretty well at the Chicago Black encapsulates the band’s unique mixture of sarcasm, at the Ice Factory, an self-deprecation, and humor. The band often gets of someone’s apartm labeled as playing Kill By Death-styled punk rock, and mechanic’s garage at while there is a good deal of truth to that description, side and another in m it also implies some amount of contrivance. However, and the air was pung The Feelers are far from happy to simply wave the body odor, and baited banner of 1981. Instead, they carry that sound and deranged singer with spirit into the new millennia, working their own and the strong begin personal demons and artful innovations into the lo-fi lunged into the crow garage punk archetype. Part of what makes a punk sweatshirt with the co band vital to me is the catharsis, the feeling that they eagle soaring over th aren’t just playing some songs, but are actually driven American flags. It wa by some sort of compulsion or need to play those out cheesy. On the b songs. That this is how they vent out their ugliness: “Where’s the Party A in a fun, aesthetically pleasing way. The frustration about these guys, but of working shit jobs, of dealing with other people, of later learned that the trying to find a point. That this is how they feel better, and that Dan would n finding solace in the frenetic chords and amplified look. As I got to know mutterings. It’s sonic alchemy: turning the lemons of they are friendly, fun life into a hard lemonade. It is not how they try to look drink a lot and slee cool or “get the chicks.” Every time I see The Feelers, done with them at th I get that feeling. their show in Kent, O

Ben: There seems to be a certain richness Jon: Ryan was a bit too ambitious. W and complexity to your compositions that Joe: Except their bass player looked like V contrasts with the vulgar instrumentation Hulk Hogan. T of a rock band. Are any of you classically Ben: The Jabbers were the only ones who D trained? [Forced laughter from The got paid that night, right? to )HHOHUVDQG¿QJHUVSRLQWHGDW$OHNV@ Joe: Oh yeah. They were the only ones sh Aleks: Yeah, I went to music school. who got paid the whole weekend. E Ben: Did you really? Aleks: Well, not really, but... sl Aleks: Yes. Piano. Joe: They used my drums, didn’t thank su Jon: Back in the old country. (Aleks is me, and got all my money. [Pretends to be ra from Chechnya) FKRNHGXSDERXWLW@ p Ben: How long did you take classes for? Aleks: But it was a fun weekend, we saw W Aleks: For seven years. Seven long, a lot of friends, blah, blah, blah. B boring, forced-by-my-parents years. Jon: A lot of good bands. A Joe: What job did your dad have in the Joe: The best thing that happened all li Communist government? weekend, though, was when Jeffrey and J Aleks: He was actually working for the Jemina turned on that Jabbers song when ¿ Ministry of Culture. those douchebags were in the parking lot. A Jon: 7KLV LV WKH SDUW ZKHUH ZH DOO ¿QG They were all dancing to it... W out about each other by asking each other Jon: We were all hanging out in the J random questions. parking lot when the Jabbers showed up. in Aleks: Jon, are you queer? Aleks: As soon as the Jabbers rolled up A Dan: We don’t actually talk to each other. and they are standing there—just sort of cl Aleks: We sort of just come into the room being the Jabbers and stuff—then, all of w and punch the clock and go to town. the sudden, the Jabbers start playing from J Ben: You guys played the Horrible Fest in the Rat Traps’ van and April and Jemina h Cleveland a couple months ago. How was run out and start dancing. [Mimics their w that experience? FRPLFDO GDQFH PRYHV@ $QG WKH -DEEHUV se Joe: Ahhh, it was terrible. Are we telling just sort of looked at them... J the truth in this interview? Joe: Then they picked up their shit and d Ben: You should. walked away. They were so pissed off. It J Aleks: Do we have to break Ryan’s heart? was sweet. o Jon: We really like Ryan who set it up. Ben: So how long did the Rat Traps stay A Aleks: How about that; we like Ryan. with you guys after their van broke down ac Jon: But it was a bit much. that weekend? y Aleks: There were too many bands. Aleks: Jeffrey and Jemina stayed for about B Jon: It didn’t all work out. We had fun, two weeks. I took them to the bus station. w dh s) Ben: Yeah, I was wondering why you forever to get food and everything. Then something interesting... Wade jumps up like a superhero on stage A on drove clear to Tucson to start your tour? she collects the dishes and we were sitting, Dan: Let’s go look at a hole! and is like, “You guys are hangin’ out w he Aleks: Because of commitments. drinking, and deciding what to do about Aleks: It’s still kind of cool. tonight, right? I got more fucking coke J on Sean: Time restrictions. the show. We decided we were going to Joe: It came from space! than Motley Crüe!” And I see Aleks go, Y Jon: And we’re not smart. drive to Tucson and play the show with Dan: It’s a space hole! “Oh my god!” p e. Aleks: I go to school. Sean had his job and just the four of us. Then we realized that Aleks: So we get there all excited. I run Aleks: My aunt was sitting right there. My M he goes to school. we haven’t seen her for about an hour and up to the gate and the lady tells me it’s like aunt lives in L.A. and some of my family A n’s Jon: We wanted to go west. a half at this point. ¿IWHHQEXFNVRUVRPHWKLQJ came to see me. W Joe: And we never even saw the ocean. Joe: She quit. She fucking quit. Joe: [In a mocking voice] Aleks wanted a Joe: If my mom is reading this, I didn’t T m. :HQHYHUVDZWKH3DFL¿F2FHDQ Aleks: Yeah, a couple guys walked in and balloon so badly, but he just couldn’t get do any of it. th my Aleks: Well, we saw the bay when we asked what happened, and I guess she had one. His lollipop was stuck to his face. It Aleks: I hadn’t seen my aunt for like two B were crossing the Golden Gate Bridge. walked out. So instead of just walking out was so cute! and half years, and thank god she didn’t D en That’s as close as we came. on our bill, we went and told them exactly Aleks: The rock hit the fucking planet I understand what he said. My cousin just J Joe: And all the beautiful cranes and what we ordered, and the owner took half was birthed on. I think I have a natural kind of looked at me like, “Yeahhh.” to 0s bulldozers and shit. DQKRXUWR¿JXUHRXWKLVRZQUHJLVWHUVRKH born right to see the fucking hole. It was Joe: That’s why we wear the leather A Aleks: When we were staying with Jenny could take our money. privately owned by some fucking crazy jackets and tight pants. R from the Orphans, we were literally two Jon: Smartest band ever. businessman or something. Ben: What are your favorite Columbus J nt. blocks from the ocean and we never even Joe: We’re just punk rock with manners. Dan: Exxon owns it or something. bands? w e. bothered to go over there and look at it. Ben: I also read something about Jon: And then we got sodomized by Joe: Times New Viking. B on Dan: I fucking slept in the van. somebody shitting in trees? trannies. Wait. Sorry. That was a different Sean: Beach Dudes. K Jon: To answer the question, we talked to Jon: That was totally me. Hell yeah. We state. My bad. Jon: Beach Dudes are probably the best band. S we 6HDQ²ZKRZDVÀ\LQJRXWWR3KRHQL[WR were in Tucson and somebody had passed Aleks: We’ll get to that in a second. Joe: White On White Violence. Flight Of A PHHWXVEXWKHPLVVHGKLVÀLJKW²VRZH out in the bathroom on the toilet with Dan: We’re not fags. That happened in L.A… The Thunderbolts, which will be my one- b ple were all like, “What do we do?” So we their pants down. I don’t want to say it’s Jon: Where it doesn’t matter (if you’re a man band because it is my fantasy to be in m fag or not). Either way, you’re gonna get a band called Flight Of The Thunderbolts. ¿ sodomized by a tranny in L.A. Jon: Vegetative State. TV Eye. But Beach st Ben: Didn’t you guys get your van broken Dudes are number one. Best band in Ohio. J into and your merch stolen? Possibly the Midwest. a Joe: Yeah, with Wade from the Orphans. Aleks: More than likely in the United A Dan: Wade drove to Ohio, stole our shit, States, North America, and if we have to so threw it in the park, and drove back. go further: earth. in Ben: What? Sean: The universe. li Aleks: No, somebody just broke a window, Aleks: The Milky Way. J got in the van... Joe: In real life, Times New Viking and si Sean: And threw our 7”s on the ground. The Squares. I like Carson Drew too. th Jon: We got some of our shit stolen, got Aleks: And what’s that other band? The B some of it back, and it wasn’t Wade. We love Alchobollocks. in Wade. He has more coke than Motley Crüe. Joe: What’s a band that we don’t like? D Aleks: In his own words. In front of my aunt! Aleks: I don’t know, pick one. A Joe: 7KDWZDVWKH¿UVWWKLQJDQ\ERG\VDLG Joe: The worst band in the fucking world li to us when we were in L.A. People were is called The Shatters. S like, “You’re not going to be able to play Dan: Downtroddn. They don’t even have an E J if you don’t set up.” It’s like 10 o’clock, in their name. Come on. Two D’s and an N. T ver ¿JXUHGZH¶GJRWRWKLV0H[LFDQUHVWDXUDQW a foreigner, but maybe it’s a custom in his to eat and get drunk and talk about it, and country. [Everyone looks at Aleks.] nd, it was like this girl’s second or third day Aleks: I don’t remember any of this! We and she was dumb as... Dan: We got a picture of it, but I’ve never of Aleks: She was from a demographic we seen it. I don’t think it got developed. like to refer to as, well… we do mention Jon: I think it was destroyed. out trailers when we refer to that demographic. Aleks: It did get developed. It was not s. So she walked up to us with the menus and destroyed. she complained that the names of the dishes Jon: So there was this line of trees along were written out with English letters but they the road we came in on about a block m? were Spanish names and she’s like, “What away, and I had to shit so badly, and there on the hell is wrong with them? They’re in were dogs everywhere else. A line of trees America!” And she was completely fucking works. I lost a pair of boxer shorts in the serious. So she told us it was her second day process, but I nailed it. VK and we explained to her our situation, that Ben: I understand you guys are upset we were kind of jet-lagged but we’re not about having to use public land? What is an gonna be assholes, because she was sort of that about? g? nervous. She dropped beers like twice while Dan: We call bullshit on craters, basically. ble she was bringing them to us. Aleks: This crater in Arizona. I was Joe: Brought us like six Coronas when we really pissed off. We were driving, still in It ordered two margaritas Arizona There was this sign to the biggest

Jon: We’re thorough. We’re good. In an Aleks: They got us drunk and threw a Ben: Nice. Aleks, I hear that you throw hour, that’s like three takes per song. party for us. yourself a big birthday party every year. Aleks: Well, the drums were done in one Jon: Fargo is one of the best places to play. Aleks: Because nobody else will. take because he did them non-stop. Aleks: The coolest thing about it is that it Ben: Didn’t you make buttons for it with Joe: No, because I am awesome. is right across the street from Minnesota. your face on them? Jon: I try to forget everything about the Jon: We were actually playing in Joe: I’ve got a whole box of them. recording process. Moorehead, Minnesota, but it’s generally Aleks: If you are gonna throw a party, you Aleks: Because it is always fun to try to the same thing. I like going back there. I might as well invite a good band, and for remember it next time we record. “Where think we should play there more often. It’s the last four years that I’ve done it, it was does this part go?” an awesome city. always Kill The Hippies. They are one of Ben: So what do you think you can get Joe: Plus it is the only place where any of my favorite bands. It always worked out; from an 8-track recording that you don’t us ever put a hole in the stage. Dan totally they are the only ones who would answer get in a big budget studio? rocked a hole in the stage. the call. Sean: You get the job done. Ben: With a mic stand? Joe: They don’t have any friends either, so Aleks: The warmth of the recording, I think, Dan: No, with just my foot. I found a it is a mutual thing. because the sterile recording is no fun. It weak spot and my foot went through up Ben: So Jon and Aleks, tell me about your does not excite the ear. At least not mine. to my ankle. side project: Eric Wrong & The Do Rights. Joe: It’s sort of like lying, because we’re Aleks: And if I remember correctly, The Aleks: Basically, what happened was a not that good. Sun played that bar a few weeks later and friend of ours’ band pretty much quit, Aleks: We can hide our imperfections one of them fell into that same hole. and he asked me and Jon to play guitar, behind static. Jon: Every band should play Fargo. Some and we said yeah because we thought we Sean: Aleks doesn’t like stereo. He can of the greatest people are there. were starting a new band with Eric. It was only hear one thing at a time. He’s got a Aleks: Driving to there and from there something to do because we didn’t have one-track mind. is one thing, but when you get there, it is much to do. We were doing the Feelers but Aleks: Over you! totally worth everything. we wanted to do something else too. But he Ben: Did you read the album review in Ben: I read a few other interviews with also got some older dudes from the scene Razorcake? you guys, and you’ve mentioned Stabbing who used to party with Johnny Thunders. Aleks: It is the funniest shit I ever read :HVWZDUGDVDQLQÀXHQFHPRUHWKDQRQFH Jon: There were a lot of cool people, but about us ever in print. “This albums sounds +RZELJRIDQLQÀXHQFHDUHWKH\" this band is what we really want to do. like they must’ve smoked a shit-ton of pot Sean: Actually the Wesley Willis song Aleks: Yeah, they were cool, but they

while recording it,” or something like that. ³6WDEELQJ:HVWZDUG´ZDVDELJLQÀXHQFH were like, “We already have the name and We couldn’t even score coke. We were Jon: Really, it’s not about the band and we already have the songs.” So we ended drunk for most of it, but that’s just part of the music... up in that band, and it was fun and we had the creative process. Aleks: It’s about the dudes, man. fun doing it. We played a Sobriety Fest Dan: Nobody in this band smokes pot. Jon: And the lifestyle. Seriously, when where we got drunk behind the stage. Jon, Aleks: Not that we never have, but we just you think of Stabbing Westward you think me, and Eric got drunk behind the stage don’t currently. of that one hit on MTV2 which is pushed and walked onto the stage completely shit- Sean: Rest assured, we are recording our aside nowadays, but no, Stabbing Westward faced to play for a bunch of recovering next album on weed. is about a lifestyle. It’s about bros for bros alcoholics because the drummer was the Ben: Jon, what was it like to play in ¿JKWLQJIRUWKHWUXWK\RXNQRZ counselor at the rehab. He got us this gig Fargo in front of your mom and high Sean: I prefer Stabbing Leftward. at the Lancaster, Ohio, fairgrounds in a school friends? Aleks: Which is also west if you are stadium setting. It was hilarious. We were Jon: My mom wasn’t even there. standing facing the right direction. off our feet fucking drunk in a hundred Ben: I thought she was. Jon: It’s all a directional thing. But, yeah, degrees heat. It was fucked up. Jon: That was someone’s reporting error, WKH\ZHUHDKXJHLQÀXHQFHPXVLFDOO\DQG Ben: Joe, why are you referred to as but it was cool to play home. spiritually. Q.T. Thunderguns? Sean: That was like the best show Aleks: “What do I have to do to make you Sean: Queer Teeth Thunderguns: that’s ever, though. want me?” That is an actual quote. his name.

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Dan: That’s because he was chewing on going on. The blank can be filled in by Aleks: What is this, the National a pen and it was pink and it exploded in multiple letters. Enquirer? his mouth. Joe: I’ll take a BC for my J. Butt Crack Job. Ben: There’s dirt, and I’m diggin’ it up. Joe: Plus, I have huge fucking arms. Jon: Either CJ’s or KJ’s for me. 2ND\ ¿QDO TXHVWLRQ Michigan to get you where you Aleks: There are a lot of comedy CDs Aleks: I am a Jew, so that doesn’t concern were working as a camp counselor. involved. me. That’s for Catholics or Christians. Joe: No, I wasn’t working as a camp Joe: By comedy CDs you mean putting a Sorry, you got my answer. counselor. MHUNRIIEODQNHWRQWKHEDFNEHQFKIRUWKH Joe: Aleks’s people were chosen for Dan: Yes you were. four of us sittin’ there. VHOIGHQLDO Joe: I was a bartender! Jon: “C.D.” meaning cum disposal. Yes, Aleks: Do I sense a bit of jealousy and envy? Dan: But it is so much better if you were it gets very nasty. Dan: I always forget that. Yeah, I’d a camp counselor. You could be like Sean: We do ride into the storm listening probably try to convert to Judaism. Chris Carrabba (Dashboard Confessional) to Judas Priest. Jon: Yeah, last minute conversions all VLQJLQJ FDPS¿UH VRQJV WR WKLUWHHQ\HDU Dan: W.A.S.P. has taken us into battle around. And a bunch of blank jobs. olds then boning them once they cried. many a time. Joe: Hurry up and get rid of that foreskin! Aleks: Basically, we kicked out our old Joe: I fuck like a beast. I would cut off what’s left of my foreskin. drummer then called Joe in Michigan right Ben: I read something about one of you By cut off, I mean chew off. in front of him and asked if he wanted to wearing a ski mask, scaring motorists. Aleks: I would watch every episode of Jack be our new drummer. [All hands point to Jon.] of All TradesIURPZKHQLW¿UVWFDPHRXW Dan: Our old drummer was a fragile Aleks: Driving down the street in a car, Joe: In twenty seconds? That’s a rich little child. he does that. If you put a guy behind the twenty seconds. Ben: What was wrong with him? steering wheel with a fucking ski mask on Jon: I could have sex like three times in Jon: A lot of things. LQDYDQWKDWKDV³9DQ2:DU´ZULWWHQRQ that. It’s awesome. Aleks: He had some issues. it… I swear to god, we must have caused Dan: ,FDQGLVDSSRLQW¿IWHHQJLUOV Joe: He’s a douchebag, an asshole. ¿IW\DFFLGHQWVVRPHZKHUHGRZQWKHOLQH Jon: Just another day. Dan: He would cancel practice all the Sean: That was worse than the time we Aleks: , ZRXOG ZULWH D WZHQW\VHFRQG time. This was my favorite one. Chris, saw George Lucas on a motorcycle. oeuvre on the ukulele. are you coming to practice? “Oh, I don’t Jon: Seriously, he patrols Indiana. George know, I really gotta clean my apartment.” Lucas, on like a BMW motorcycle. [Post-Interview Note: Much later that Fuck off! Ben: So who is the “fucker from AAA” night, Aleks went on to sing and play a Aleks: The day this happened we were who totaled your car? touching rendition of Europe’s “The Final actually practicing. He says he’s going Jon: We were on our way back from Countdown” on the piano, then led everyone outside for a second. Twenty minutes Fargo and we got a phone call from Sean’s in a sing-along to Poison’s “Every Rose Has pass. Half hour. Forty minutes. An hour. girlfriend, his girlfriend and my girlfriend Its Thorn.” It was beautiful.] I go upstairs and I say “Hey Chris, what’s were driving Sean’s car, and some AAA guy going on?” and he says “I don’t think I just ran a red light and want to do this anymore.” So I said, “Fuck smashed the car to shit. it, you’re out. Why don’t we call Joe in Aleks: [Looking at Michigan and see if he’ll come back and me] He knows too play for us.” much about us, we’ll Dan: I was passively pushing for it too, have to kill him. because one day we were practicing and Dan: How many death Chris had to go off and do... I don’t know threats do you get? what... learn to how to read or something. Ben: 7KLV LV WKH ¿UVW He was studying to be a nurse and he had one, actually. to go study for an exam or something, so Aleks: Just watch Joe came downstairs and we played for a your back. long time and it rocked harder. Ben: So Sean, do Joe: I bring a lot to this band, and they saw you like playing in that really early on. They were sort of pining the Feelers better IRUPH¿UVWRIDOODVDGUXPPHUVHFRQGRI than The Reatards? all, as the only male model available. Joe: No he doesn’t! Aleks: He was kind of deciding between Sean: I like playing us and Rush, because they were going to guitar more than I kick Neil Peart out. He decided to go with like playing bass, but the little guy. I like playing with the Joe: I’m a lost cause crusader. [laughter.] Feelers more than the Dan: You’re a dipshit. Reatards. Aleks: Which is another word for lost Ben: How come? cause crusader. Joe: [Band makes Ben: So what do you guys do during these long beeping noises] Open road trips between gigs to amuse yourselves? the door, we’ll back up. Jon: We listen to a lot of Vengaboys Sean: I don’t know; I DQG WKHUH DUH D ORW RI ³EODQNVSDFH´ -¶V just do. 41 percentage of unhappy people in these times since that day, and each time they thin towns, as I am almost positive that even DUH PRUH ÀQHO\ WXQHG DQG PDVWHUHG wo the largest and most bustling American but nothing will ever top the feeling som metropolis contains a comparable—if of awe I felt upon realizing that they cou not greater—ratio of dolefulness, had created a stunning portrait of the Pa but the small, sun-bleached cities of human condition in the dry, still town rea our nation’s underbelly cannot mask of Gainesville. Kim the truth compared to the glamorous Ag distraction and enchanting ambiance Parker: Didn’t you graduate recently? abo of the urban behemoths by which they Kim: I did, I graduated at the end of April. 0X are dwarfed. When you live in one of Parker: With a degree in… thin these towns, however, the truth of Kim: I got my Master’s in social work. to d lower-class American life is slapped on Parker: So what’s next? tom a plate and served without garnish or Kim: I’m applying for jobs. My internship Pa ornamentation. was at the VA hospital, at a post traumatic pla You may be able to get some stress disorder clinic… I applied for a job trad grits, though. there actually, so I’m kinda waiting to hear Kim 7KH ÀUVW WLPH , HYHU UHDOL]HG WKH about that. trad staggering beauty of Southern sadness Parker: How long have you lived in star was the weekend of The Fest 3, in the Gainesville? it w swampy, stagnant heat of Gainesville, Kim: It’ll be twelve years in August. dow ver It makes sense that you’re g “to go back to your roots som when you feel like you’ve gotten far a

Florida. On the outdoor deck of Common Parker: Do you feel like the music scene alw Grounds, the members of Whisky & Co. in Gainesville has changed any since you’ve in p were alternating between setting up moved here? slo Interview with Kim Helm by Parker H. Hasting their equipment and swilling bottles Kim: I think that there’s always been a kind the Photos by Aaron Kahn of Pabst to escape the breezeless RIÀX[XSDQGGRZQZLWKWKHPXVLFVFHQHLQ in p swelter. I was sweat-soaked and weary Gainesville as far as more people being into fee from the previous days of barhopping it—more people moving to town. Because cou from block to block, trying desperately it’s a college town, people are always roc to see it all, and was quite ready to moving in. That reinvigorates all of us older ide WKURZLQWKHWRZHOEXWWKHÀUVWYHUVH folks that lose momentum sometimes. Pa Whiskey & Co. played left me stunned Parker: Do you think that No Idea’s Kim and staring. They were unlike any band presence and growth since the ‘80s has be m The Fest had presented me thus far. anything to do with some of the changes? abo Whiskey & Co. embody the beautiful Kim: Certainly some of them. The music say tragedy of the south. Kim Helm’s voice scene is a lot bigger than No Idea and what that is sweet enough to make you blush, but they focus on, so it’s hard to say that they’re com also drips with the regret of a Southern UHVSRQVLEOHIRUDOORILW%XWWKH\GH¿QLWHO\ how belle left alone too long. The rest of the give opportunity for bands in Gainesville dire band sound like seasoned veterans of a to have an outlet, someone that will put out Pa country circuit long forgotten anywhere your records and distribute them for you… new but the dark bars of Nashville. so that’s always nice. Kim As I listened to them that day, it Parker: When was Whiskey & Co. Joh slowly became clear why I found the originally formed? wa music of Whiskey & Co. so moving. The Kim: [thinking, eyes to the sky] Umm... VRQ songs they wrote perfectly capture the ‘98 or ‘99. I can’t say for sure because they wh despondent imagery all too common formed the band without me originally. I sam in Gainesville. Sure, some of the bars think it was around ‘99. her are packed with doe-eyed college Parker: How has it been being the only I a kids, hoping to get drunk enough to FRXQWU\RXW¿WRQDWUDGLWLRQDOO\SXQNODEHO" Mo brag about it later, but the outskirts of Kim: I was actually surprised. We didn’t out town are littered with bars and lounges expect anyone to have interest in us tho untouched by such frivolity. These are recording. Somebody told us that Var pro lkidhhi’(f d f d ) ll lik d h d P RQN WKLQJ JRLQJ EHWZHHQ WKH EDQG PHPEHUV not necessarily like that. 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Les Sexareenos, but welded to a legit You would then have some vague that includes tracks from their split rock. Think of Rancid back when they ‘70s punk rock bashing technique a inkling of what The Black Angels LP with Consume, 2005 tour 12” were a three-piece and didn’t play la, perhaps, the Subs (although they are about. I guess I’m going to have and their most recent 7” Repetition/ ska songs, mixed with a little bit of don’t really sound like the Subs at all, to go see them live so I can see what Fear. To top that off, for those with Grimple or Filth. Cool cover art and though i guess the 45 sleeve is pretty a ‘drone machine” looks like. –Sean computers, two videos are included. a Big Boys cover song dedicated to close to being the same color as the Koepenick (Light In The Attic) But, the music is the key here. Biscuit. This shit is the real deal. –Ben “Gimme Your Heart” PS). If i am not Hard-driving punk that is dark and Snakepit (Rodent Popsicle) being cleverly deceived, the guitarist BLOODBATH AND BEYOND: forceful with a tone of the dismal is utilizing one of my personal Jihadcore: 7”EP state of the world. Their dual vocal BRUTAL KNIGHTS: favorite modes of attack: Playing It’s a supergroup of somewhat attack of lyrics is intelligent and The Pleasure Is All Thine: CD bashed-out punk on an electric known, yet highly loved and political. Punk is guitar-driven, and ([PHPEHUV RI 7HHQ &UXG &RPER twelve-string (Six strings? HA! That’s respected guys. If drunk is the new WKH\SRZHURXWWKHFKRUGVZLWK¿HUFH here with a sound that brings to mind like having an amp that only goes genius, then these four dudes have determination. The bassist brings the Wimpy from the Queers fronting up to ¿YH I hear what sounds like made the Manhattan Project of lower octaves to add punch. As a trio, Zeke. Fast and snotty with the female vocals in “I’m On No One’s partying, (substituting cubes of Pabst the drummer ties it all together to requisite “shocking” sex references. Side,” but there doesn’t appear to be for Little Boy), puking, and pooping make a cohesive expression of noise. , ORYH WKH 4XHHUV (DUO\ ** DQG a girl in the bunch, unless “Paul” is Adderall yellow. What that means is Many might have noticed them on the Angry Samoans, but I am mostly a girl’s name in Holland. Needless if you like any one of the following the past Subhumans tour. I personally burnt out on the boring “shock value” to say, this is taking the concept of bands—of which Paddy, Davey, have seen them twice, and the second themes of bands still playing this “Beaver Hunt” in a direction i don’t Ben, and Mike hail from—you’ll just time they knocked me on my ass. So stuff. Of course none of that would care to follow. I suggest you buy this, have to go out and buy a record you the next time they come through your matter if the songs are good enough, or fuck off. AND fuck off, actually. don’t own and already like: Dillinger town, take notice. Also, getting a as M.O.T.O. and Head continue to %(67 621* ³,¶P 2Q 1R 2QH¶V Four, Tiltwheel, J.Church, Cleveland copy before you see them would help prove. Hell, I even dug the latest 6LGH´%(67621*7,7/(³'DI´ Bound Death Sentence, The Minds, you sing along while they are playing Jabbers disc but this just kind of sits FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA Snakepit comics (not a band, but you live. –Donofthedead (Prank) there. If you still feel that songs about FACT: Logo by Sjors! –Rev. Nørb get the idea), The Observers, and stuff that has been done to death (High School Refuse) Dan Padilla. It’s duct tape, serious- BOTTLED VIOLENCE: 7” EP are funny or you wanna offend easy thought-but-they-won’t-readily- Goddamn, these guys are pissed at targets like your Pat Robertson loving BLACK ANGELS, THE: Passover: CD admit-it, create-your-own-world-and- HYHU\ERG\ PDQ (DVW &RDVWVW\OHG uncle, this is for you. Tesco Vee fans First release from this Austin band. live-in-it-while-having-a-good-time hardcore, sounding quite a bit like will love this and I guess you can Psychedelic, trippy music that will punk. –Todd (Little Deputy) Paint It Black if they weren’t already decide from that whether this is for cause your mind to wander into at punk superstar status before they’d you or not. –Mike Frame (Deranged) dark realms of the unknown. “Black BORN/DEAD: Endless War... even formed and had to work their Grease” and “Call to Arms” were Repetition: CD mojo from the ground up. Not bad at CANDYGRAM FOR MONGO: particularly scary to me. Think if the Still don’t own a record player? If all. –Keith Rosson (Suburban Waste) The Red Pill: CD 13th)ORRU(OHYDWRUVDQG7KH9HOYHW DIY punk is your thing, you’d better Terrible lite punk that sounds like a Underground’s vans crashed in the get one. There are a lot of releases BRISTLE: 1984450: CD neutered Anti-Nowhere League (Anti- desert, and Doug Yule got in the out there that do not see the digital Bristle is one of those bands whose Balls League: “So what, so what, you ZURQJYDQDQG5RN\(ULFNVRQJRWLQ realm, but sometimes you luck out: QDPH\RXDOZD\VVHHRQWKHEXWWÀDSV boring little nincompoop”). I had this the other. They both drove away but case in point here. A compilation of crusty kids, and deservedly so. They whole analogy worked out about how played their respective gigs that night. of tracks from this Bay Area band play straight-ahead, no bullshit punk when a dog eats cat shit, its own shit is two kinds of shit, but geez—this for any period of time, I can totally see removed from Aerosmith, the root that gains weight and nutritional value record is like four kinds of shit. Shitty these guys becoming a mainstay, one of of all that is right and good in these the more it gets played. Real and really artwork, funk-rock instrumental, and those bands that newer, younger bands cases) affair to be pleasant enough good. Recap: fuckin’ cool artifact—one shitty punk rock. And get this monkey HYHQWXDOO\ EHJLQ WR GUDZ LQÀXHQFHV to merit a spin or two (not that i’m that I’m keeping—but not essential if shit: on the back it says “We’d like from. Like I said, they’re not there going on record as endorsing that you’re in it just for the tunes. –Todd to thank the ladies—all the ladies, yet, but as it stands now, Signal Corps kind of thing, mind you), therefore (Jonny Cat) really—but three in particular [three LVVWLOODGDPQ¿QHUHFRUGDQG,FDQ¶W L UHOHQWHG DQG RI¿FLDOO\ SURFODLP names, presumably the three band wait to hear what they hit us with next. this band “not as gay as i originally CROSSBRED: members’ partners]”, while the lyrics to –Keith Rosson (Iron Pier) thought” and the album “actually Take off Your Fuckin’ Vanity: 3” CD “Porkchop” go, “Baby, I like chicken- kinda cool.” Okay, girls, back to your Twenty-minute mildly harsh fried steak, yeah, but nothing’s like CHINATOWN: Self Title (sic): CD VFKHGXOHG UDPSDJLQJ %(67 621* racketscape with exciting surges, your pork chop. Once I get started …i thought this band was GAY with ³6WUHHWOLJKW 3DUDVLWH´ %(67 621* swelling rumbles, razory feedback eating, I never want to stop. So show a capital AY after i read their poorly 7,7/( ³6WUHHWOLJKW 3DUDVLWH´ Atlantic Records was interested the matter some thought, and have samples, and a little yelling. Comes friends, is an asshole. (See also “She’s in Chinatown” and “After playing come to the conclusion that whether in a plastic petri dish with red stuff. Not on the Menu” by SNFU, 1984). a stellar show to a packed house of or not the band took their name from –Cuss Baxter (Apop) –Cuss Baxter (C4Media) screaming girls (who climbed the stage the Devil Dogs song cannot be proven and attacked the band”, then had the either way. –Rev. Nørb (Sonic Swirl) DAGGERS, THE: Tear It to Pieces: CD CAPITAL: Signal Corps: CD album name come up as, literally, “Self Regurgitated mid-to-late ‘90s L.A. Don’t know what it is about New 7LWOH´LQL7XQHV²DVLQ³:(7+,1. CLOROX GIRLS: punk, a la The Humpers (RIP), York (or particular areas of it—Long :(¶5( 62 )8&.,1* +27 6+,7 This Dimension b/w Animal Eyes: 7” but from Canada—that explains Island anyone?) but goddamn, there’s $1'%,*7,0(<(7$5(68&+$ This one’s all about the packaging— everything. –Jessica T (Sloth) some good music coming out of that %81&+2)',0%8/%67+$7:( red, one-sided square vinyl with the b- area right now. Capital’s certainly '21¶7(9(15($/,=(7+$77+( side hand spray painted with the band’s DAN PADILLA: Self-titled: CD not spearheading a new movement or 3+5$6( :(¶5( *523,1* )25 name (try downloading that on MP3)— J. Wang (lead singer of Dan Padilla) anything, the ground they’re tilling is ,6 µ6(/)TITLED’, NOT THAT because both of these songs have been is one of the most earnest people pretty familiar, but rest assured they :( 6+28/' $&78$//< %( SUHYLRXVO\UHOHDVHG ³$QLPDO(\HV´LV I’ve ever met, and it shows through VRXQGFRQ¿GHQWDVVKLWDQGDUHIULJJLQ TITLING$1817,7/('$/%80 a cover of lead singer, Justin’s, dad’s in his lyrics: “A simple life should spot-on in their attack. Signal Corps 72 %(*,1 :,7+´²EXW XSRQ old L.A. band, the Defenders, who stand for something/ Don’t ask me sounds like a titanium-solid merging closer inspection, it really kinda looks sung it when they played here.) All what because I don’t know.” The of Paint It Black-styled hardcore and like their guitar player is wearing that said, the Clorox Girls are fungal. approach of questioning (whether the Strike Anywhere’s brand of melodic an “I’m Into Boris The Sprinkler , GLGQ¶W ¿QG WKHP LQVWDEULOOLDQW QRU realm is personal or global) without punk—it toes the line somewhere And I Throw Like A Fag” T-shirt in whoah-kill-me-great right from the preaching a solution is refreshing. between the two, and while I don’t one of the photos (although i cannot start, but there was this nagging tickle With songs ranging from the serious think it’s necessarily quite up to par conclusively establish this), and, all that made me put their records back on and political (“Fear and Tera and with either of those bands, it’s still in all, the album is a homogenously over and over again. What could have Scarlett O’Hara” and “We Run”) to damn good, especially considering solid enough black leather pants been empty, calorie-free agitated pop the less serious “Shit’s Tight (their ZH¶UH WDONLQJ DERXW D EDQG¶V ¿UVW wearin’, Faster Pussycat wannabe-in’ has proven to be rattling, spastic punk YHUVLRQ RI WKH 0LV¿WV¶ ³:H %LWH´  release. If they manage to stick around (therefore two levels of wannabe-ism in the vein of the Cheifs and Weirdos and a sound like Tiltwheel and Altaira (there are members of both in Dan speed. They wrap and warp cataclysm, by semis, dragged along the freeway doubt the recordings were done in one Padilla) birthed their love child on the sinewy keyboard, desperation, ‘80s past a few exits, subsequently hurled take, with the exception of “incidental western shores of Florida, I can’t see punk, and misbehaving android into the ocean and hauled to the sea noises” recorded in a cave (actual KRZVRPHRQHFRXOGQ¶W¿QGVRPHWKLQJ background vocals around a French- bottom by turtles? The point is: it’s cave, not metaphor for heavy-handed not to like on this one. It makes me sounding version of Ass Cobra-era slooow, damaged and, yeah, torturous. reverb). Also, really nice black and long for summer, slow days, and fast Turbonego. Cool. Tekken: You can I’ve heard the name for years, and blue marbled vinyl; possibly the most friends. –Megan (A.D.D.) almost hear the bullet belts tinkle in they’re on Swami, so there must be beautiful record I’ve ever seen. Beats the background. It’s world hardcore tons of kids who dig the slop-savant, pink and white marbled’s pansy ass to a DATELESS: Everything Could with a crust center and metal hinges. I-could-walk-faster-than-this rock pulp. –Cuss Baxter (Hook or Crook) Turn Out Right This Time: CD Thankfully, they’ve got more than one they’re peddling, but I’m not one of I’m kind of looking forward to the speed, so the drumming doesn’t sound them. There are a few moments on DIE PRINCESS DIE: forthcoming Screeching Weasel/ like a direct feed into a metronomic here (“Lil’ Naked” resonates eerily Lions Eat Lions: CD Lillingtons/Queers style pop punk cement mixer. Actually, they kept like something from Horses-era Patti Jerky and loud dance-wave with some revival. I think we’ve learned a lot on making me think of infested rats Smith), but the good just doesn’t come of your pugilistic Lightning Bolt from the mistakes of the past and we’re playing dungeon music at hyper speed anywhere near outweighing the awful. action, a bit of your quavery Locust ready to try this again. We’re going to while being attacked by vultures made –Keith Rosson (Swami) keyboard business, a little of your have to be a lot more selective as to of poop, which is probably exactly hyper rave synth that always comes whom we hand out leather jackets to what they were shooting for. Liked it. DEMON’S CLAWS: out of convertibles (at least in San but I think we can make this work. –Todd (Trahison) Live in Spring Branch, TX: 12” EP Diego), assorted bloops and squonks, Now Dateless, I’m issuing you all Demon’s Claws spit out (I don’t think a couple feedbacks and a very large Members Only jackets. You’re in DEMOLITION DOLL RODS: “play” is the right word) root slappy, number of carefully-arranged drum on a trial basis. You’ve got to prove There Is a Difference: CD slap happy slop-punk so raw it makes beats. –Cuss Baxter (GSL) yourself by working on your choruses Joyful, primitive sounds soaked in %LOO\&KLOGLVKVRXQGOLNHWKH(QJHOEHUW and doing a drive by on a metalcore whiskey and sleaze. The drumming Humperdinck. Like if Dan Melchior DOG ASSASSIN: band. Bring me back a bloody bible is so simple you’d think Mo Tucker’s drank a gallon of Thunderbird and three Imperial States of America: 7”EP from Underoath’s tour bus and we’ll mongoloid brother was thumping out pots of coffee. (At once, I mean, and Sweet zombie Jesus, I don’t know get you a real leather jacket you can beats behind the kit. Plenty of guitar then performed some songs—I don’t where this came from, but I’m glad wear with pride. Weasel por vida esé. fuzz and soulful, Joplin-esque vocals imagine he’d sound like this if he was it got here. Five songs of awesome –Stevo (Self-released) make this sound like a greasier version just sitting around reading a book or thrash that could probably be looked of the Subsonics. There is a Difference preparing a tart.) Barely-tuned guitars at on the same level as anything on DEJA MORT / TEKKEN: Split 7” is a celebration of the carnal, a lusty, sunk in reverb and a one-two drumkit Havoc. To sweeten the deal, this Two French punk bands. It’s oddly punk blues explosion of sex and that sounds to consist of just a kick, came with free stuff, and the vinyl reassuring that—barring a shared rock’n’roll. Recommended. –Josh snare and a cymbal or two (drummer looks great (half black, half red). language, over 5,000 miles of Benke (Swami) Skip Jensen also does a one-man- But the kicker—the cover has Darth separation between France and L.A., band thing and is, or was, in the Scat Vader on it! This is too good to be and two different cultures—that punks DEMOLITION DOLL RODS: Rag Boosters, if that rings anyone’s WUXH$W¿UVW,WKRXJKW,PD\KDYHWR can artfully gripe about essentially the There Is a Difference: CD bathtub) set up Royce Muckler’s donate this to the Star Wars bathroom VDPHWKLQJV LQWHUQHWZDUULRUVÀDPLQJ Swamp-blues swagger that plods mouthful-of-grubs gibber and wail in Hotel Astoria, but screw that, I’m bands but having no real friends and the along at two miles an hour. I don’t (and, furthermore, shriek and moan). I not giving this away so easily. –Joe over-ubiquity of back patches are in the know, like if the Muffs and/or the don’t think the “Live” in the title means (YDQV,,, 6SDFHPHQW laundry list). Deja Mort is right at my Detroit Cobras were collectively hit a public performance, but I have no DOWN AND AWAY: especially metalheads like Slayer and, death rock into the mix: like Siouxsie monoxide center. The one thing I To Serve and Protect: CD ,¶P ¿JXULQJ 1DSDOP 'HDWK WR XS and the Banshees with the Bauhaus wished on the initial listens: more Swedish band that perfectly the ante a bit. Hell, I personally can meets Gary Numan at a Vice Squad immediate explosions and pock blends the middle ground between UHPHPEHU P\ MDZ KLWWLQJ WKH ÀRRU gig. They go beyond the punk rock marks. But it’s weird—compared to, fellow countrymen Smalltown and ZKHQ , ¿UVW KHDUG ³%ORFNKHDG´ RQ D standard of guitars and drums and add VD\7KH(\HOLQHUVRU5LII5DQGOHV² Bombshell Rocks. Cool mid-tempo late-night radio show back then and keyboards. What caught my attention ZKHUH DW ¿UVW , ZDV ÀRRUHG DQG street punk with a real rock’n’roll becoming an instant fan (although right off the bat is the great vocal then, later, I wouldn’t have minded a undercurrent. Reminds me a little of my brother buying the “LP” version stylings of lead singer, Tara. She has little more (which I think those bands the more recent Ducky Boys stuff, and his insistence on playing it on 45 a great voice that complements well ZHUH FDSDEOH RI ²7KH (OHFWULF which is high praise. If you can’t get instead of 33 1/3 for the next decade with the music being played. With a Kisses deliver in dosed drips. The enough of that catchy sub Rancid because he thought it was “too slow” different engineer or producer and a details slowly pop out and splash a sound, this is one of the best bands diminished its luster for me a bit). better equipped studio, I think they new clarity to the songs: “Oh shit, \RXFDQKRSHWR¿QGULJKWQRZ±0LNH Although time, legions of apers, and can better capture her true vocal they totally ripped off The Kids cover Frame (Mad Butcher) the race to make music at ever greater capabilities and really improve upon (down to the tape on the edges),” and velocity have conspired to reduce the what they have been building. Live “for being lyrics about adolescent- DRI: Dirty Rotten LP (on CD): CD LPSDFWRIWKLVDELWQRZIRU¿UVWWLPH recordings are not my cup of tea, type sounding stuff, they’re really After numerous reissues with different listeners, it still remains a pummeling but their cover of the Ramones’ “Pet seasoned. I don’t feel like a pedophile mixes, different covers and assorted thing of wonder—twenty-two songs in Cemetery” that is on this disc shows listening to this.” So, yup, count me bonus tracks added, Beer City has eighteen minutes, all of it fast almost that even in a raw situation they can as a fan, more and more with each released this, the Dirty Rotten EP, to the point of silliness, with nary a sound good. If they had recorded it in successive listen. Cool stuff. –Todd with its original track listing, original second wasted. It was a damn shame the studio, I think it would have been (Full Breach Kicks) mix and original cover art (gotta say, this remains their high point, as they fantastic. I’ll be interested to hear I haven’t seen a “mange” cut in many degenerated into a bad speed metal what this band accomplishes on their ELECTRIC SHADOWS: Break The a moon). Hard to believe it’s been band within three to four years of its next release. –Donofthedead (Ffruk) Rules b/w She’s All You Got: 7” twenty-three years since this monster release. Hopefully, Kurt and the boys This NYC trio appears to be led by was unleashed on an unsuspecting ain’t trying to soak the hordes with ELECTRIC KISSES, some manner of extra-terrestrial hardcore public. The thing to keep in full-LP prices for it, though, ‘cause THE: Self-titled: LP expat from one or another of the mind is that when this was originally no matter the format, this is still a 45’s Here’s the disclaimer: Mike Frame, ümlaut planets, and are approximately UHOHDVHGDVD´(3LQSUHFLRXV worth of music and to pass it off as who’s in this band, does reviews 1.5 levels of Hair more glam than few bands came close to the velocity anything more is a bit disingenuous. – and interviews for us. So take this Some Action (i’m not exactly sure these guys demonstrated on this Jimmy Alvarado (www.beercity.com) KRZ \RX ZLOO 7KH (OHFWULF .LVVHV of the factor. I’d need to see their record—and they were even faster are Nikki Corvette-style fun. Simple, hair better). I am quite thankful that live. By cramming twenty-two tracks DUEL, THE: stripped, direct, clear punk rock this record didn’t come with a press onto a 7”, they also snatched the title Let’s Finish What We Started: CD that’s poppy. They seem so internal sheet of any sort, because the band’s of “We Crammed the Most Songs Band from London that would easily and comfortable with punk rock: mission statement is almost certainly onto a 45” champions from Canada’s get lumped into a label as a ‘77 punk declaring a person’s love is stuck to something on the order of “we The Neos, who only managed a band. A lot of those characteristics are B-side status, that friends are either want to cross the pop hooks of the paltry fourteen. Take that, back- there, but so much more is put on the dead or have stopped living, and Raspberries with the swagger of the bacon eaters! USA! USA! USA! plate. They have the rock elements it’s all wrapped around one of those New York Dolls and Heartbreakers, Further, that speedy little slab of wax like many bands from that era, but honking big lollipops swirled with VHUYHGXSLQDKRWWXEIXOORI75H[ LQÀXHQFHG D ZKROH VZDWK RI EDQGV they also infuse some new wave and a rainbow of colors, with a carbon and Kiss with three quarters of a jigger of Aerosmith and Suzi Quatro that gives them an extra punch, where seems kind of like the pot calling the brand of Accept’s barnburners. “Walk as a drain stopper” or similar act of they coulda just been spinning their kettle black: the music (though they Alone” and “Money Matters” are the genius. I mean, fuckin-A, ya feel like tires. To up the ante, it comes in a describe themselves as sounding like stand-out tunes on this one. Ouch—I blowing your (or their) brains out gorgeous silk-screened cover, with D4), is super-basic and repetitive. think I just got whiplash. Are there before you’ve even taken the record the spider for the hole, and all the One uninspired pop punk song played free Vicodin samples in the CD out of the sleeve. BUT, that said, little details that make you say, “God nine times. –Megan (self-released) sleeve? Dammit! –Sean Koepenick the record does sound reasonably damn, vinyl’s awesome. This shit’s (Spook City) like the aforementioned concoction, worth protecting.” Gorgeous little FEELERS, THE: Self-titled: 7” and both the songs are kinda good. package, both in sound and sight. The Feelers answer the question of, FINAL CONFLICT: No Peace on Earth, By the way, the Font Police would –Todd (Bad Idea Music) “What happens when a garage punk No Rest in Hell: CD like to see you in Room 101 at your band is shredded against Negative (YHQ LI WKH PXVLF LV ORRVHU DQG QRW earliest convenience. Bring your own EVIL ARMY: Self-titled: CD Approach’s cheese grater, but the as manic as their ‘80s incarnation, UDW%(67621*³%UHDN7KH5XOHV´ You know how sometimes you’ll bust Oblivians’ desperate, rickety shack is and Ron’s vocals are missed, the %(67 621* 7,7/( ³6KH¶V $OO out Kill ‘Em All and listen to it and still jumping in the background?” It’s latest effort from this venerable L.A. You Got” FANTASTIC AMAZING think, “God, Metallica used to be so a broken arm that you can snap your hardcore group is a strong one, with TRIVIA FACT: No offense to the awesome, I wish there was a band ¿QJHUVDORQJWR,W¶VOLNHDFKDLQVDZ topical lyrics that aren’t afraid to dead or the living, but i saw Nikki like that around today”? Well, look with a blade that’s teethed with sweet, GLUHFW LWV LUH DW VSHFL¿F SHRSOH DQG Sudden, and he sucked. –Rev. Nørb QR IXUWKHU (YLO $UP\ WDNHV DOO WKH sweet gumdrops or jackhammers subjects rather than deal in hollow (Douchemaster) best parts of Mustaine-era Metallica, lubricated, not with oil, but maple generalities. Nice to hear the snippet Dealing With It- era D.R.I., and syrup. The result it fully interlocking of the Germs off “Rodney on the END OF ALL: a dash of Cryptic Slaughter. It’s parts between two things that aren’t Roq,” that was tacked onto the end, Same Shit but Different: CD a wicked good time; no cheesy necessarily supposed to go together, too. –Jimmy Alvarado (SOS) Yet another metal band passing dive-bomb comedy routines like and that makes it all the more itself off as hardcore. Ugh. –Jimmy Municipal Waste or anything, just memorable. Improves on repeated FIX, THE: Alvarado (Crimes Against Humanity) straight-ahead thrash from a bunch of listens, and is much better than the At the Speed of Twisted Thought: CD Tennessee good ol’ boys. Get This!! Willy Wonka-ness of the comparisons Yep, you read that right, kids, we’re ENTROPY: –Ben Snakepit (Get Revenge) in this review. Great, fun punk rock. talking about thee Fix here, legendary, Gross National Product: 7” Remember that? Recorded by Alicja long-gone Michigan hardcore band 7KLV GH¿QLWHO\ ¿WV ULJKW LQWR WKH EXTRA DAY FOR RIOTS: Trout (issue #29’s cover lady), and whose 45s fetch a pretty penny from Smogtown, Smut Peddlers, Crowd, Discography: CD-R she captures them in full stride, fully those who play fast ’n’ loose with early Hunns galaxy. It’s got those This CD-R comes with a pretty IDQJHG EURDGO\ VPLOLQJ ([FHOOHQW their fundage. Collected here for those buzzy-hummy guitars, the New succinct but in-depth band history. –Todd (Contaminated) of us, not blessed with huge stashes of Beach Invasion (West Hollywood It seems that they broke up during disposable income are the band’s two Chapter) broken bottles and vials recording because the band didn’t FIGHT LIKE HELL: (3V WKHLU WUDFN IURP WKH Process of in the sand disease, snot rag vocals, think the lead vocals were good Rabid as Wolves: CD Elimination comp, assorted outtakes and that “Ooh, we’re fucked, but it’s enough to record (I wish more bands Sinister, brooding, and intense. That’s and a live set from 1981 that sounds sunny outside” vibe. What sets them a would follow that lead). So, after MXVW LQ WKH ¿UVW ¿YH PLQXWHV RI WKLV like it came straight off the board. Like bit apart is the superfuzz psychedelia some time, the singer decides to release. Colorado four-piece evokes the Big Boys releases T&G put out at the edges (don’t worry, there’s no ignore that and release it himself. the spirit of Suicidal Tendencies last decade, there is also much to read “jammin’”), but there’s that early Bad mistake. The band was right; the (“How Will I Laugh” era) and 24-7 about the band, courtesy of Tesco Vee, Mudhoney ballsiness and sickness vocals are terrible. Then again, this Spyz with the metal two prong cattle Byron Coley, Tim Tinooka (I still have a couple of copies of Ripper fanzine FUCKED UP: Dangerous Fumes: 7” now. Welcome to that one percent that Fleetwood Mac sounding vocals. kicking around here somewhere), The power of satire is in not UXOHV GH¿QHV DQG VKDSHV ZKDW¶V WR :KHQ,¿UVWKHDUG$FLG.LQJDOPRVW Thurston Moore and others. For those only knowledge—but a greater come. –Todd (Deranged) ten years ago, I thought it was kinda not in the know, this is not complex, understanding—and then a lame, third generation jumping-on- intricate-runs-through-scales-type confounding of initial expectations. G.B.H.: Punk Junkies: CD the-stoner-rock bandwagon same old hardcore made by kids who’ve spent It’s relatively easy to fuck with A re-release from these grievous shit. At this point, hearing something way too much time honing their people and negate them. (i.e. war limey bastards that has been out-of- like this is on par with hearing muzak “craft.” We’re talking guttural, virtually bad, religion bad, fuck toddlers, go SULQWVLQFHPunk Junkies¿QDOO\ in the grocery store. It sounds so much tuneless, blunt force trauma thug-rock fuck yourself.) It’s a magician trick sees the light in the States a decade like everything else, so uninspired, from a band that was playing hardcore to criticize the very people who will later. While it’s no City Baby or City that you just tune it out. Maybe if before it had a name, and these tunes seek out your record. Let’s back up. %DE\¶V5HYHQJH, it still packs enough you’ve never heard anything crazier still deliver the goods. It amazes me Fucked Up. The band’s name alone crunch and punch to appeal to both than Black Sabbath’s Paranoid you that, some twenty years of development would prevent ninety-eight percent of crusty punks and headbangers. –Greg might like this, otherwise just avoid it. later, so much of what passes for the bands in the world from playing a Barbera (SOS) It sounds like everything else you’ve hardcore anymore (and yes, I know second show. Who’d book ‘em beyond heard a million times before. –Ben there are exceptions, so don’t inundate a backyard? And one of the remaining GENERATORS, THE: Snakepit (Tortuga) me with lists of said exceptions) can’t two percent of people predisposed to The Winter of Discontent: CD hold a candle to bands like this. They liking a band called Fucked Up have The opening track, “Walking Away,” GHETTO WAYS: Hidden Charms needed no warp factor nine tempos, A.D.D. Anything over a minute really sounds like a late-period Agent b/w M-O-V, I’m Movin’ On state-of-the-art production, or even tests their music boundaries. So, at Orange outtake. The bulk of the and Tanny Girls: 7” EP good gear to beat you upside the head the beginning of this—with longer remainder dances on the pop line in GHETTO WAYS: Winks and Blue with a song. Gather ‘round and hold songs (for hardcore) and a restrictive the sand Doug’s been straddling since Eyeshadow b/w Got a Feelin’: 7” on tight as I set the stereo volume for name, we’re at one percent. And the Schleprock days, although the Sweet, dirty, alluring, and simple “annihilate,” ’cause this is literally that’s just when Fucked Ups’ in the songs here have an almost “epic” feel punk rock’s like putting a plastic going to blow your fucking minds…. blocks, ready to sprint. Here we are to them, and are sometimes vaguely model together. Almost anyone in a –Jimmy Alvarado (Touch & Go) at Dangerous Fumes, which casually reminiscent of Bad Religion’s slower civilized country can go to the store, whips out two epics, the reproduction efforts. The last two songs are a bit buy the kit, and huff in the garage FOUR DEADLY QUESTIONS/ of a painting of naked young boys of a departure from the rest—one rock fumes. But you, savvy music THE ANSWER LIES: Split CD on the inside of the cover, and a sports an almost country twang and listener, know the difference is in how Four Deadly Questions: Trashy punk Lolita-style narrative in “Teenage the other is reminiscent of Mary the parts are slid together, that there’s ZLWK OR¿ YRFDOV WKDW GRHVQ¶W FOLQJ WR Problems.” All this, in lesser hands, Hopkin’s “Those Were the Days”— such a thing as magic dirt, that if time QRQHRIWKHQRZDQQR\LQJµVFOLFKpV would be clumsy and so transparently and show these guys aren’t afraid to is taken by the band to cut themselves It’s loud and raw in all the ways it “offensive” as to be easy to dismiss. stretch a little, although both probably from the attachments of the mold— should be. Felt kinda cool ‘cause I However, this Toronto foursome isn’t would’ve hit the mark more accurately when still being obvious in what GLGQ¶WQHHGDQ\)HFNZHHGWR¿JXUHRXW mashing every taboo button on the with stronger arrangements. All in all, they’re making—you can listen to ZKHUH WKH WLWOH RI WKH ¿UVW VRQJ FDPH console blindly. They’ve calculated it worth blasting in the stereo. –Jimmy something special. The more Ghetto from. The Answer Lies: Great hardcore out. The sum total? Challenging and Alvarado (Sailor’s Grave) Ways songs I’m exposed to, the bigger that may not be as fast as some, but victorious hardcore that questions the their spectrum: parts Tina Turner, part manages to sound just spastic enough very roots from which it was born. It’s GERSCH, THE: Self-titled: CD -RVLH &RWWRQ SDUW µV VRXO DQG SDUW to get the blood pumpin’. –Jimmy the undiluted spirit of Black Flag and This sounds a lot like Acid King. QRQDUHQDµVURFNWKHPXVLFÀRRU¶V Alvarado (Geykido Comet) Poison Idea and it’s happening right Slow, heavy stoner rock with shifting beneath them, but not in a confusing way. Fueled by Jenna’s GILBERT SWITZER / THE HOLD: GOLDBLADE: Strictly Hardcore: CD cockney cultcha and lowbrow humor. raspy howl, lean and close guitar State of Nature: Split 7” A lot of people I know think these Although much of the reliance on playing, Shane’s trouble-brining It’s always refreshing—when during guys are the bee’s knees, and I will “rock” guitars ’n’ such ain’t my cup o’ bass, and Henry’s in-the-pocket the tedious chore of laboring through freely admit they aren’t without tea, songs like “Infected” were funny drumming all make the Ghetto Ways shitty music to review—to be slapped their charms—“Living Outside the enough and the back cover piss- much more than a snapped-together, upside the head unceremoniously and &DSLWDO´ DQG ³ 7RQV´ WR QDPH take of Ian Dury’s “New Boots and dime-a-dozen attempt at rock’n’roll. without notice. And that’s exactly what a couple, ain’t too shabby—but Panties” cover was good for a laugh. Fans of the BellRays and Miss Alex Nova Scotia’s Gilbert Switzer did. like U.S. Bombs, I can’t really see –Jimmy Alvarado (Captain Oi) White take notice. –Todd (Hidden This band is a three-piece comprised what all the fuss is about. For the Charms: Alien Snatch. Winks: of a singer, guitar player, and two- most part, they sound like a Sham GORCH FOCK: Thrilller: CD Wicked Singles/Savage) piece stand-up drummer who dishes knockoff, albeit a serviceable one, First off, you’re going to think of out deranged and deconstructed punk without the politics and righteous Unsane due to the thuddy nature of GIANT HAYSTACKS: rock. Think Flipper, early Butthole anger, and I’m still too fueled by that things, and then presently you’ll think A Rebirth of Our City: 7” Surfers, the Birthday Party and Crime anger to be impressed by what feels of the Cows because of the trombone, If Allan, the singer and guitarist of DOOWRVVHGLQWRDURFNVJODVVDQG¿OOHG like a watered-down re-creation, no then later you’ll think about Scratch Giant Haystacks, gained a hundred with absinthe. This is art punk of the matter how deep the roots of those Acid since there’s a Scratch Acid pounds and learned to dance like a highest degree, and I love it. The responsible run. It could be I’m song, then you’ll think about the gleeful rhinoceros ballerina in homage Hold didn’t—ahem—hold up as well, totally obtuse and just not seeing the Cows some more, and maybe Duh to D. Boon, the transformation to the having to follow Gilbert Switzer but obvious, but frankly I just don’t get it or Steel Pole Bath Tub, but in reality Minutemen would be complete. I jest, nonetheless ran their crusty gutter and can think of so many more bands Gorch Fock is named after a boat but Giant Haystacks have taken the punk like a Fiat Spider stuck in third worth the hoopla. –Jimmy Alvarado and boy do they sound like it. –Cuss honor roll of peppy, spry, smart, and gear. Nicely packaged to boot! –Greg (Captain Oi) Baxter (Australian Cattle God) insightful songs that the Minutemen Barbera (Divorce) are getting their long-deserved due GOLDSTARS, THE: GROSS NATIONAL PRODUCT: Ronald for, and then have internalized what GOLDBLADE: Purple Girlfriend: CD McVomits 14 Song Happy Meal: 7” PDGH WKHP VR SRZHUIXO LQ WKH ¿UVW Punk Rockers in the Dance Hall: CD Neutered bar rock played by the Nothing gets me more excited than place. It’s not all about short-burst, Compilation of some the choice cuts numbers. Sounds like the bands IRXUWHHQ VRQJV RQ D ´ (VSHFLDOO\ slippery string work, but about the from their last three records. I hear that play on stages at the casinos when one of the songs is called “God concerns of their world—this time The Clash, some RFTC, and even downtown, rehashing ‘70s rock with Is an A-Hole!” Pretty cool. This is JHQWUL¿FDWLRQ²ZKLOH QRW WDNLQJ D some Dammed bubbling underneath. crummy, extended guitar solos, dopey, straight-forward, female-fronted condescending tone. They also fully It looks like this Manchester band FOLFKHG O\ULFV ³Five Years: CD lit their own torch, and these three live someday—I bet they smoke it. GONADS: Old Boots, No Panties: CD Oh, Hammerlock. I used to listen songs are great. –Todd (Pizza Pizza) –Sean Koepenick (SOS) Bushell’s oi band serves up another to a lot of this stuff in the late ‘90s helping of baldie-rock full of and early into this decade. This band and songs seem to hold up a lot better and while there are certain drawbacks FOR LIFE! I will form a discussion WKH ¿UVW RI ZKLFK ZDV D WZRPRQWK than I might have expected and better throughout (they have a tendency group where we can settle these stint of the States with Raw Power, than a lot of their contemporaries. to slip in a light and strangling pop issues before our differences tear which would lead me to believe that This disc has my favorite tune ever by ballad here and there, like the lilting XV DSDUW %(67 621* ³)ORR]LH RI more people would’ve heard of them Hammerlock, “Cold Coors.” A great “Blue Afternoon,” that I could have WKH 1HLJKERXUKRRG´ %(67 621* before. Anyway, these dudes were bar rocker with an awesome mid- really done without) it’s generally 7,7/( 6DPH L JXHVV )$17$67,& working within the framework of a tempo sound and a big catchy chorus. pretty steady in its kickassedness. AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: I don’t pretty standard punk template, but I wish they would write more like that. On the punk spectrum, this one’s not know the name of that Goner Records that doesn’t mean that Tales… is That is where they are at their best; kicking out much radiation, though I font. –Rev. Nørb (Plastic Idol) bad, or even that generic, just that mid tempo and rockin’. Pretty much bet they came across as more jagged you know what you’re coming into dug all of these tunes though after not and mean live. Still, if authentic, mid- HEIMATLOS: La Seconde Nécessaire here. While the liner notes are almost KHDULQJWKHPIRUDJRRG¿YH\HDUVRU to-late ‘80s power pop blows your 1982-1988: CD apologetic about how rough some so. This is a collection of their out of hair back, this one’ll do it for you; two A “complete recordings” collection of this sounds, I think it adds rather SULQW¿UVWWZRDOEXPVRQ0DQ¶V5XLQ discs, plenty of liner notes, featuring courtesy of a band purported to be than detracts to the whole thing. As so there is a total of twenty-nine songs the majority of their released material, )UDQFH¶V ¿UVW WUXH ³KDUGFRUH´ EDQG a whole, Infected sounds like a more on here. A pretty good deal for your including b-sides and live radio stuff. Compiled here are ninety tracks venomous, pissed-off Crimpshrine EXFN5HDOFRRO6WHYH(DUOHDQG0HUOH –Keith Rosson (Feel Presents) from assorted releases, demos, live without the hippie undertones. Only Haggard covers to boot. –Mike Frame cuts, and even a version of one of complaint is that the CD starts to drag (Steel Cage) HARD-ONS: their songs performed by another a bit by the end, but that’s just because Most People Are a Waste of Time: CD band. Musically, much of this pretty it’s a near-complete discography (the HAPPY HATE ME NOTS: Loud pop that falls somewhere smokin’, with a nice BGK burn to last four songs are from their never- The Good That’s Been Done… between the Fastbacks and the much of the proceedings, and maybe a released LP); I’d start to get burnt by An Anthology: 2 x CD Ramones, which unfortunately means dash of Dead Kennedys, Mob 47 and a lot of bands after twenty-one songs. There’s that old saying: “Never judge it sounds like the Lemonheads or others thrown in for color here and As a whole, this one’s pretty decent. a two-disc anthology of a now-defunct something. –Cuss Baxter (Bad Taste) there. The lyrics are sung in French, ±.HLWK5RVVRQ (XJHQH $XVWUDOLDQ EDQG E\ LWV KRUUL¿FDOO\ German, Spanish, Finnish, Swedish ugly cover.” I mean, seriously, HEADS, THE: Under the Stress of a DQG (QJOLVK ZKLFK KDV WR EH VRPH IRA: The Body and the Soil: CD the art on this thing is positively Headlong Drive: CD kind of record. Having heard nary a 'HEXW IURP WKLV *HUPDQ ¿YH SLHFH awful and totally misleading—I’m Mudhoney eats the brown acid. –Jimmy note from them prior, I’m must say I like a band that has the nerve to talking Dayglo porpoises frolicking Alvarado (Alternative Tentacles) I’m mightily impressed. –Jimmy SXW D ¿IW\VHYHQ VHFRQG VRQJ RQ WKH amid Photoshopped “tripping acid” Alvarado (Ratbone) VDPH UHFRUG ZLWK D ¿IWHHQ PLQXWH backgrounds. If I saw this in a record HEARTATTACKS, THE: plus piece. Large, volcanic, sheets of store, I’d be expecting either some sort Your Lies: 7” EP INFECTED: sound protrude from this record like of sick, dick-numbing Phish worship The World At Large refers to this band Tales of the Tortured Mind: CD a broken bone. Hard to describe them or a few hours of really bad house/ as the “Swedish Teengenerate.” The I am all for posthumous discographies, with some precision. Sonic Youth trance music. Instead, shockingly, label claims that they are actually the especially for bands that’ve long meets Pelican? Hum meets Dillinger HHMN manage to dish out a potent Swedish Registrators. I refute both since disbanded and never really 4? You’ll have to be the judge but this and mostly consistent crossbreed of parties, and declare them to be the played that much outside their does have so many ups and downs mid-period Stiff Little Fingers and Swedish Phantom Rats. WE CAN hometowns. In the case of Infected, you’ll probably get carsick. Intriguing. straight ahead power pop that’s really, NEVER BE FRIENDS! NONE that’s not entirely the case, as they ±6HDQ.RHSHQLFN *R.DUW(XURSH really catchy. Two discs of this stuff, OF US! MORTAL ENEMIES apparently toured quite a few times, ISTUKAS OVER DISNEYLAND, THE: country songs. It sounds like a stupid didn’t quite get it. But I think if they really had something cerebral to say O Guinu: CD idea, I know. I was fully prepared to gave a few listens to this disc, they will and innovative music to get across. Mid tempo to sometimes fast garagey rip this album a new one when I put learn that there are other ways to play And I think The Joneses might agree pop punk from the Philippines. it on, but it was surprisingly good. punk. –Donofthedead (Inimical) with me. I’ll explain: The Joneses were 0RVWO\VXQJLQ(QJOLVKEXWWKHUHDUH The covers are pretty straight-forward a trashy band, hopped up on booze a few numbers that I believe are sung and faithful, with the exception of the JOHNS, THE: In Tune: 7” EP and heroin—L.A.’s answer to The in Tagalog: the title track being one of distorted guitars (a little unnecessary) A-side sounds like a cross between Heartbreakers. They fucked a lot of them. That track stood right out with and Jeff’s surprisingly Shane any Ramones song C.J. ever sung and women, had a good time, played their D VPRRWKHU ÀRZ RI YRFDO GHOLYHU\ MacGowan-esque voice. It sounds “Fight For Your Right” by the Beastie Les Pauls down around their ankles, while they blazed through a faster ridiculous, I know, but it’s actually Boys, the latter only tangentially. The and then broke up. I think some of SXQN QXPEHU 7KH (QJOLVK WUDFNV pretty good. It’s always nice when ¿UVW KDOI RI WKH %VLGH VRXQGV OLNH them might be in jail right now—at tend to sound slow to compensate a “genre” musician tries something Orange County’s ten-years-too-late least that’s what I’ve heard. This for the uncomfortableness of the different and pulls it off successfully. answer to the Humpers, who were, for record, which came out in 1989, must language. The Tagalog tracks are the Recommended. –Ben Snakepit the record, a great band (at least some have been something of a godsend to memorable tracks which showcases (Fractured Transmitter) of the time). Second half of the B-side rock fans, considering nothing was their energy. The other tracks just has a little guitar that reminds me of happening in ‘89. And, yeah, it’s still a come off unpolished and awkward. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST: later Vandals, but, other than that, nice piece of vinyl, by a bunch of guys –Donofthedead (Cat Food Money) Self-titled: CD i’m stumped. You could play me this who could have been Johnny Thunders Is that a punk rock name or what! The record, show me the cover, show me stunt doubles. The only problem I have JAY REATARD: name is not the only thing that is good, pictures of the band, and tell me they with The Joneses is that the lifestyle Hammer I Miss You: 7” EP their music is like the wedgie the jocks were from any year from 1983 or so til they exuded—the Peter Laughner, Dude, the title track sounds—GASP!— would give the nerd kids at school the present and i would believe you. Lou Reed, Jeffrey Lee Pierce, Johnny radio friendly! Fret not, though, for when growing up. Right up the butt %(67 621* ³:DQQD 'LH´ %(67 Thunders bit—is currently killing although much of the mud and vitriol crack and it hurts! The music reminds 621*7,7/(³:DQQD'LH´LJXHVV some of my friends who buy that shit that fueled the Reatards is not readily me of early Corrosion Of Conformity, FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA hook, line, and sinker. Bummer. –Ryan apparent here, there’s enough edge in Poison Idea, Battalion Of Saints, and FACT: The record came with a CD-R Leach (Full Breach Kicks) “It’s So Useless” and “All Wasted” to HYHQDWWLPHV&UXFL¿[7KH\GH¿QLWHO\ of the songs—a practice which, square keep those fans who’ve been around have a mid ‘80s sound going for them. as it may seem, i strongly endorse. KEVIN K: Polish Blood: CD longer than a week on their toes. Rock and metal overtones played at a –Rev. Nørb (Anko) There, that’s more like it, this is the Sounds like the man’s music is starting mid-tempo to fast pace, but straight good glam punk! Starting out in to get more sophisticated and, in his up punk rock. The vocals are yelled JONESES, THE: Aunt Helen in 1978 in Buffalo and case, that doesn’t mean he’s starting or screamed but phonetic so that you Tits and Champagne: LP on through the Lone Cowboys, Road that steady slide down into nether can understand what is being sung. I was just talking to my girlfriend, Vultures, and a ton of solo releases, reaches of suckdom. The verdict? This Their guitars are crunchy and bright, Mor, about this: The Joneses were a Kevin K never lets me down. So many is pretty fuckin’ good stuff. –Jimmy so they sound warm opposed to dirty. good band, but hardly groundbreaking. releases from all over the world...This Alvarado (Goner) Bass is nice and clean but punchy and I mean, if it were the mid ‘80s and they one is from Poland. Seems to be kind also warm. The drumming is more were playing the Whisky (the Whisky of a collection of tunes from previous JEFF WALKER UND DIE FLUFFERS: than competent with a sound that’s was still a decent venue in the ‘80s), releases re-packaged for a Polish Welcome to Carcass Cuntry: CD reminiscent of early drummers from I’d go; but it’s not like missing, say, release. Twenty songs and not a stinker This is one of the guys from goregrind the So Cal scene. I saw this band a The Gun Club or something—a band in the bunch. Kevin K is consistent with grandfathers Carcass, doing covers of number of months ago. The crusty kids that—along with X to a lesser extent— his great Ramones meets Thunders sound and I can never get enough of twenty-six songs—lots of repetition. wistful “things were so much better there, a smidge of Foetus’ more it. –Mike Frame (Pasazer) And, sadly, the strongest track on this than” comment, mind you, just an rambunctious moments, and maybe is not an original but the unreleased observation that maybe a broadening just a dash of Birthday Party for LIBRARIANS: remix of their cover of Billy Bragg’s of horizons and little more thought color—and yet managing to avoid Alright Easy Candy Stranger: CD ³1HZ (QJODQG´ 7KDW VRQJ DFWXDOO\ being put into what’s being done now sounding like a trite rehash of all the Four piece Morgantown, West does make it worth it for me (but I might not be such a bad idea. This? It above, they take the sum of these 9LUJLQLD URFNHUV RIIHU XS WKHLU ¿UVW doubt I’d buy it for the one track still fuckin’ rocks, of course. –Jimmy parts, dress ’em up nice and purty full length for the people. Innovative alone). –Megan (Jade Tree) Alvarado (Captain Oi) with loud guitars, driving beats and guitar patterns glide each song down DWWLWXGHXSWKHZD]RRDQGMXVWOHWÀ\ some unknown road. Drums and bass LOOK BACK AND LAUGH: MANIFESTO JUKEBOX: Strain: CD some savage, pounding, and strangely provide a taunt backbeat. The vocals Street Terrorism: 7” EP What happened? The last record I catchy tuneage. Seeing as they’re still remind me of Peter Murphy with a Tight, angry political hardcore with heard from this band I really liked. out and about making a racket, one OLWWOH PRUH LQÀHFWLRQ ³:D[ 7HHWK´ oodles of hooks. Fuckin’ sweet. But this, this is some tired-ass jangly would assume that catching ’em live and “Spend All The Cash” are getting –Jimmy Alvarado (Deranged) post-punk with real sassy vocals. Oh (as well as investing in a few of their continual play on this one. Forget the god how I despise sassy vocals. I releases) would not be a bad idea. over-hyped bands written about on LOS CREEPERS: City Streets: CD guess you can forgive a little because –Jimmy Alvarado (Feel Presents) magazines you don’t read anymore. Loctite glue strong street punk, worthy these guys are from Scandinavia and Librarians deliver the goods. So of the long-deserved and recent maybe they don’t get that certain MATCHES, THE: Decomposer: CD check them out and don’t plan to attention being lavished on the band by HQXQFLDWLRQVRI(QJOLVKFRPHDFURVV ,¶PVXUH(SLWDSKZLOOVHQGVRPHRQH return them—no matter what the fee! Tim Armstrong. –Jessica T (Smelvis) sounding sassy, but still, what over to my house to smash a baseball (After you buy it of course!) –Sean happened? You know how you’ll hear bat through my car windshield, but Koepenick (Postfact) MAJOR ACCIDENT: a song sometimes and it just sounds this will be the second time I will Clockwork Legion: CD like a bunch of intros and transitions have to send a new record by this LIFETIME:Somewhere in the Swamps Album number two saw a shortening DQG¿OOVZLWKQRDFWXDOVRQJ"(YHU\ label down the toilet. Too many of New Jersey: 2 x CD of their name to “Accident” (as song on this record sounds like that. producers’ hands in the till make this I lie to myself about Lifetime. I think evidenced by the cover art), the Sorry to give this a bad review cause an uneven sounding affair. Plus the I adore them, or that I treasure them. infusion of more melody into their I know these dudes are cool guys and lyrics are truly horrible. And from But, in reality, I like them. Granted, sound, and considerably more stuff, but hey, sometimes the truth the liner notes it seems that their they’ve got songs that are amazing, sophistication in the actual writing of hurts. –Ben Snakepit (Combat Rock) manager co-writes the majority of but I’m starting to think of them as the songs is apparent. Funny, but as I the tunes. Reminds me of when that that: a band with some great songs listen to this I can’t help but see how MARK OF CAIN, THE: creepy doctor was writing a lot of rather than a great band. Maybe it’s reliant on some stereotypical “oi” The Unclaimed Prize: CD Brian Wilson’s songs a few years because they’ll never do it for me the template so many of the new breed This is a reissue of an obscure (well, back. These results are similar. I’ll be way Kid Dynamite does, and I don’t bands are. These guys were obviously obscure to me, at least) Australian waiting for something new that does have the ability to separate the two in LQÀXHQFHG E\ WKH ZKROH ³VWUHHW band’s second album, originally not sound like The Fall Out Killers my mind. Here, Jade Tree’s collected punk” thing as much as anybody released in 1991 and subsequently %R\V±6HDQ.RHSHQLFN (SLWDSK two discs-worth of material that has else, but you’d be hard pressed to reissued repeatedly over the ensuing mostly already been released. The ¿QG D WXQH DERXW JHWWLQJ SLVVHG years by a number of different labels. MICHAEL JORDAN TOUCHDOWN exceptions are unreleased versions of ¿JKWLQJ DQG EOLQGO\ ZDYLQJ D ÀDJ Taking cues from some of post-punk PASS: Cash, Money, Etc.: CD songs that have already been released. let alone a whole album dedicated noise rock’s heaviest hitters—a little Gotta say, when I saw the crayoned )RUW\¿YH WUDFNV LQ DOO EXW RQO\ to those subjects. This isn’t some Killing Joke here, a little Big Black cover, noticed that MJTP was one of those projects where one guy sings and both of those bands), the title track stuff they put out. Miss Derringer, shifts into a slightly slower version of plays all the instruments, and noted has the fantastic line, “Do you wanna thankfully, is no exception to that rule. a Stallions song. Not bad. The guitar that it was co-released on Plan-It-X, walk?/No, I wanna crawl,” repeated This album has plenty of the dark, is way too up front in the mix of the I was steeling myself for some shitty throughout the chorus. They get all lovelorn, garage rock that I’ve come subsequent two songs and you can’t folk singer blathering away about sophisticated with their guitar solos, to expect from Sympathy releases. really hear the vocals or the drums. anarchism in only the basest and most incorporating a wah-wah pedal (?!?!) Vocalist Liz McGrath has a sassy, heart The cymbals, however, seem to be idealistic, simplistic way. Yet again, and whipping off lots of notes. There’s wrenching voice that rivals her lovely crashing continuously. Not good. that’s what I get for judging stuff enough of a pop sensibility and the label-mate Holly Golightly. With –Josh Benke (Wood Shampoo) prematurely, because what I’m hearing songs are played at a decent enough titles like “Dead Men Weigh More is a younger, ragged (though some clip to keep me interested. –Josh Than Broken Hearts” and “Pennies MORELLO: might say more vulnerable or honest) %HQNH 6HHLQJ(\H RQ+LV(\HV´WKLVDOEXPPDQDJHVWR Twelve Ways to Breathe: CD version of the Weakerthans. I mean, on craft its own darkness into spooky, ,W¶VNLQGRIOLNH-LPP\(DW:RUOGEXW songs like “Sedan-Sized Truck” and MINCH / BREATHILIZOR: Split: 7” perfect retro rock songs. Highly with screaming/yelping and really “Ill-Planned, Feeling III,” this kid is an Minch: Noisecore with the fascination recommended for those nights when bad metal guitar breakdowns and absolute dead-ringer for Weakerthans of using a washing machine as you may be drowning your sorrows. less melody. If these songs are the crooner John Samson, even at times instruments. I believe they beat on the –Jennifer Whiteford (Sympathy For ways to breathe, I’m hoping there are using his exact same sense of meter and side of a washing machine for drums. The Record Industry) other options because it looks like I’ll alliteration. And that’s a good thing: this Almost tribal with all the banging and suffocate otherwise.–Megan (I Scream) guy’s onto something—he’s borrowing screaming going on. Somewhere in the MISSLES / JUPITER SHIFTER: heavily at times but there’s too much mix is a blown out guitar amongst the Missiles vs. Jupiter Shifter: Split 10” MUCK AND THE MIRES: 1-2-3-4: CD passion and focused intent here to call sheer madness of what sounds like two The Missiles start off strong with a Remember, if you will, the days when it stealing, you know? Acoustic guitar, people singing completely different couple of punked up, AC/DC-crossed- garage rock really meant a bunch of keyboards, minimal percussion, layered songs. Fourteen tracks. Breathilizor: ZLWK7KHH 0DFKLQH *XQ (OHSKDQW kids in a garage trying their darnedest vocals—the songs are deceptively Play a more traditional metal that has (minus that bands’ guitar virtuosity) to sound like the Beatles. Of course simple, but there’s some incredibly DUDZJDUDJHVRXQGRQWKH¿UVWWUDFN sounding tunes. Singer, Takaichi, they failed in that objective for any catchy moments on here and the lyrics Song about a space plague that needs has a great, Land of the Rising Sun, number of reasons: poor equipment somehow come across as both cynical to be cured. The second track is more Bon Scott snarl. “Guitar Yokosuka and lack of a producer the equal of and joyous, and all-around razor-smart. of a bluesy rock number that kind of Thunder” really takes off once it George Martin being the two primary Is it punk? Depends on how you look reminded me of later period Black gets to the chorus, and “Three Code ones. What some of them did manage at it, I guess. Is it sincere, memorable, Flag. The topic has to do something Sensor” is memorable for the vocals, to achieve, however, was a level of and just pretty much awesome? Yeah, with Pacman. Interesting to say the which are what I imagine a Japanese energy and joy the Fab Four lost WKHUH¶V GH¿QLWHO\ WKDW ±.HLWK 5RVVRQ least. Neither band plays anything guy sounds like when he throws up. somewhere in Hamburg before any of (Plan-It-X) remotely pretty, so some dementia is The last two songs venture, Icarus- our kids in garages ever heard of them. required. –Donofthedead (My Cheap like, a little too close to the brightly This is what Muck And The Mires do MILLION DOLLAR MARXISTS: Ass Life) burning sun of Nashville Pussy and better than any other band I know of. Do You Wanna Evolve?: 7” whichever ‘80s hair band it was that Drawing inspiration not only from The Highly reminiscent of late ‘90s band MISS DERRINGER: Lullabies: CD covered “Once Bitten, Twice Shy,” Beatles, but also from all those bands All Systems Go, with a touch of the Sympathy For The Record Industry is babe. Jupiter Shifter plays standard on the Nuggets compilations, these Knockout Pills thrown in (I ain’t got of those labels that has such consistent punk rock, with emphasis on the four Boston music scene vets have internet at my apartment, so who quality in their releases I’m pretty “rawk.” “Wing Store” starts off with brought us a real gem of party record knows, MDM might be older than much on board with whatever new a variation on the Spy Hunter riff and here: good time rock’n’roll without any self-righteousness or even a hint NERVE GAS TRAGEDY: As Rick Stratton might have said on probably quite apparent that i was of any subject matter heavier than No Tomorrow: CD long lost-but-not-forgotten sitcom, reading the Roctober record reviews on boy-meets-girl/girl-dumps-boy. Front Former members of a metalcore act Silver Spoons: “This is bogus.” –Josh the toilet today. –Rev. Nørb (Ant Acid) PDQ(YDQ6KRUHZULWHVWKUHHPLQXWH named All Out War start a new band Benke (Super Secret) three-chord songs about love found with a new vocalist. This is their ORDER: Kickball: 5-song 7” EP and love lost as well as anybody, second record since the change. I NO TRUTH LIES: Self-titled: CD Oh man, this is all over the place. anywhere. This is a good ‘un. –Brian personally only have heard of the I’ve never been much for religion, Here’s a partial list of the bases they Mosher (Dionysus) previous band’s name but not the but No Truth Lies is my salvation. I touch: electro-folk, drum machine music. I don’t think I would go back have a serious lyrical problem. I get hymnal, rap, art, and indie rock. NATIONAL RAZOR: and see if I like what they sound like songs stuck in my head for hours, It’s not without its brief charms, Naked Before God and Country: CD because the current band is pretty sometimes days. I don’t even have to EXW WKH VSODWWHULQJ RI WKH LQÀXHQFHV The charm about this record lies in bad-ass. I would hate to waste the hear the song. I could be at breakfast just choggles me. In their approach, the fact that it sounds like a decent, money if they don’t stand up to the and someone’s struggling with the they remind me of the Mean Reds— fairly young band that’s recorded current band. Right off the bat, the ketchup. As soon as people start mostly interested in the blender, or their album in their friend’s garage or guitar riffs are heavy and technical suggesting where the bottle should be “making something new,” not the basement studio. Odd thing is that the in a death metal kind of way with a hit for maximum ketchup compliance, ingredients being chucked into the band’s apparently been together for couple lessons in Iron Maiden guitar I’ll get Young Black Teenagers’ “Tap blender. I just don’t hear enough nearly ten years. It’s rough-around- licks 101. The double bass drumming the Bottle” stuck in my head. It’s internal digestion (collage isn’t just the-edges pop punk stuff with warbly is executed with robot-like precision. there now, just from typing it. This ripping something out, it’s putting it vocals, apparently recorded entirely Vocals are harsh with a smoked a pack KDSSHQV DW OHDVW ¿IWHHQ WLPHV GDLO\ back in a new context is where the art live with only two mikes and put out a day for half my life quality. I would But, I am now armed with No Truth is) or self-identity (which is ironic, by a label that’s best known for its be surprised that this band does not Lies. They somehow have the ability since they’re trying so hard to be blues releases. I liked what I heard, but move forward and go onto a bigger to unstick any song lodged in my different). So, if you want a single seventeen songs is a lot for something indie or even a major. –Donofthedead head. I don’t know how they do it, band sounding like a regional comp that isn’t totally stellar, and I found my (Spook City) but I am grateful. They’ve got the feel of truly unalike music (including a patience growing a bit thin by the end. of Tim Version (think the split with barely recognizable Who cover), then –Keith Rosson (Mapleshade) NERVOUS EXITS: Get Out: CD Superchinchillarescuemission and 2UGHU¿WVWKDWUHTXHVW±7RGG %ORRG Perusing the liner notes, I saw that not the country stuff—which I also On The Drash) NEON NAZIS / HIPS: Split: 7” EP saxophone is featured on a couple of ORYH  EXW WKHLU VRXQG LV GH¿QLWHO\ Neon Nazis: First tune is kinda droney the tracks. I was hoping it would be their own. One of the bands I’m most OUT WITH A BANG: and boring as far as rock/punk goes, the cool kinda sax you hear on records excited about out of Florida right I’m Against It EP: 12” and the second song ain’t exactly an by the Sonics and the Mothballs. It now. –Megan (A.D.D.) When Albert Hofmann, the Swiss improvement. Singer sounds like an ain’t. The guy plays the sax in much FKHPLVW ZKR ¿UVW V\QWKHVL]HG /6' indecisive chicken with a head cold. the same way Ferris Bueller plays the NOMEANSNO: accidentally got a taste of a very Hips: Considerably artier and weirder clarinet—“Never had one lesson!”— All Roads Lead to Ausfahrt: CD minute amount of the just-born than their recordmates, and the pep in honking like dying goose. The guys Nomeansno means no desire to listen industrial strength mind bender back their performance puts ‘em over the are all dressed like the Strokes in WR WKLV UHFRUG D VHFRQG WLPH %(67 in 1943, he had a helluva time just edge. Hips win by a landslide. –Jimmy the liner note pictures, but it seems SONG: “Mondo Nihilissimo 2000” ¿JXULQJRXWKRZWRZRUNWKHSHGDOV Alvarado (Going Underground) like they may be trying to ape the %(67 621* 7,7/( ³0RQGR on his bicycle so he could get home Nation Of Ulysees, stylistically and Nihilissimo 2000” FANTASTIC that night—so powerful was the drug. musically, more than anyone else. AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: It is That’s how I feel right now with Out With A Bang. I’m not sure I know Group Inc.’s “MySpace”—a sort record’s-worth of this kind of stuff of Chicago’s The Cunts (occasionally how to brush my ass or wipe my of meet-n-greet web-club popular just isn’t enough. But if I know Anus, “The C*nts”) for like the last twenty teeth, let alone craft some smarmy with attention-starved teenagers, I know there’s sure to be more where years or so—and that the Pigs were review about this one-sided twelve- pedophiles and wannabe rock stars. this came from. Hate springs eternal, some manner of post-Cunt or perhaps incher from punk rock heaven. Out And, lo and behold, what should after all. –Aphid Peewit (Proud to be PHUHO\ &XQWDI¿OLDWHG SURMHFW ZKLFK With A Bang, for those trying to bubble up from the cyber sea of Idiot, www.ptbi.8m.com) had me contemplating their competent NHHS WUDFN RI WKH HYROXWLRQ RI OR¿ MySpace chitchat and go for the \HWXQLQFLVLYH2LQJR%RLQJR6ND¿VK misanthrope-core, is the band that bait? None other than Anus, the PARKWAY DRIVE: isms in an entirely different manner has grown up from the wreckage of surly snapping turtle frontman of the Killing with a Smile: CD than i was forced to contemplate the backed-up toilet explosion once Grabbies. He claimed that he was just Musically imitating Metallica, but them in once i found out Disturbing known as “The Grabbies.” And the wondering why anyone in their right the singer’s voice seems strained and Records and Disturbing Music are two Grabbies, of course, were a band that mind would make shirts emblazoned unaccustomed to his self-imposed wholly unrelated entities. In this case, could best be compared to a short bus with the logo of such a ridiculously and unnatural screaming. Technically i can only ask the listener to compare full of Tourette’s Syndrome Italian “horseshit” band as the Grabbies. Or sublime melodic metalcore; Oingo Boingo’s Only a Lad to the retards stalled out over a giant anthill maybe it was really just the predatory comparable to System Of A Down wholly unoriginal by comparison (yet crawling with stinging ants and in congressman side of him coming out. DQGWKHLULON±-HVVLFD7 (SLWDSK still, musically, in the same ballpark) their brief existence they produced Whatever it was that drew this foul- Stand Back, then ask thyself if thee two 7” records that were the very mouthed idiot savant out from his PARKWAY WRETCH: Homesick: CD thinketh that Geoff Westen of The SLFWXUH RI EUXWDO KDWH¿OOHG GLP internet duck blind is anyone’s guess. Politically charged poetry set to Pigs will ever be writing the score for witted beauty. /LYH5DZ3XQN6KLWV, What’s important is that he brought emotional yet gritty punk rock Batman PRYLHV OLNH 'DQQ\ (OIPDQ in fact, was so blastingly raw that it news of his new band, Out With A reminiscent of Crimpshrine’s “Sleep, of Oingo Boingo. One thinketh makes the Reatards sound like the Bang, and that was just the thing to :KDW¶V 7KDW"´ (3 1RW EDG DW DOO QRW 'HFHQW UHFRUG WKRXJK %(67 Max Weinberg 7 and I would still pull me out of the doldrums of a deep –Mr. Z (Formula Thirteen) SONG: “Saturday Night,” because it put that record on the top of my musical despondency that had gripped doesn’t sound like Oingo Boingo OR Razorcake Top 5 list each issue if I me since the untimely demise of my PERE UBU: Why I Hate Women: CD 6ND¿VKLWVRXQGVOLNHWKH.LQJVThe thought I could get away with it. The beloved Grabbies. So things are right Why I Hate Pere Ubu would be a Kings are Here, binch! %(67621* Grabbies were “punk as hate” and I with the world now; Out With A Bang more accurate title. One assumes this 7,7/( ³6DWXUGD\ 1LJKW´ EHFDXVH loved everything about it. So deep might be a tad more cohesive than the was released in commemoration of the it sounds like the Bay City Rollers! was my affection for that amazing Grabbies ever were—perhaps Anus thirtieth anniversary of the band’s one The Bay City Rollers are Here, binch! band that I made up counterfeit has a Ritalin prescription now?— but JRRGVRQJ%(67621*:HOOGXK FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA Grabbies shirts—one for myself there’s more than enough unbridled ³)LQDO6ROXWLRQ´%(67621*7,7/( )$&7'DQQ\(OIPDQVXFNVDQGGRQ¶W and one for the only other person I hostility and seething hate-stew here “Two Girls (One Bar)” FANTASTIC those keyboards at the beginning of knew who gave two shits about the for me to hang my hat on. And that’s AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: I’ve “Saturday Night” sound frighteningly Grabbies: a friend of mine known saying something, because I’ve got never actually read that book. Is it any OLNH WKRVH RI 5(2 6SHHGZDJRQ¶V as “The Imp.” If it weren’t for those a huge head. Plus they’ve thrown good? –Rev. Nørb (Smog Veil) “Ridin’ The Storm Out”??? –Rev. shirts I made, I might not know Out some Three Stooges sound bytes Nørb (Disturbing Music) With A Bang even existed right now. between songs, which always brings PIGS, THE: Oink!: CD But as luck would have it, the Imp the I.Q. level of anything down a few «ZKHQ L ¿UVW VDZ WKDW WKLV ZDV RQ PRETTY BOY THORSON & THE wound up wearing her counterfeit glorious notches. And nothing goes a label called “Disturbing Music,” i FALLEN ANGELS: Self-titled: CD Grabbies shirt in a photo which EHWWHU ZLWK OR¿ WKDQ OREURZ 0\ immediately assumed that that meant What a difference recording can VKH SRVWHG RQ )R[ (QWHUWDLQPHQW only complaint is that one side of a “Disturbing Records”—house organ make. I reviewed their 7” in the last issue and thought it was decent, but to raise their kids”) and the ulterior scrappy hardcore band with oodles RIVER CITY TANLINES: felt that there was something missing. motives of celebrities who put on of charm, they apparently progressed I’m Your Negative: CD I can’t say the same for this full- EHQH¿WVIRUWKHZRUOG¶VSRRU$OOLQDOO over the course of their career (and this 6PRNH DIWHU WKH ¿UHZRUNV KDQJLQJ length. There’s so much more energy an interesting, strong release. –Jimmy GLVF  LQWR D ¿QH KDUGFRUH EDQG PRUH in the air like a specter. That’s what and so much more passion. Maybe it Alvarado (Captain Oi) prone to mid-tempo ranting than balls- this album sounds like: smoke in was lost in the fuzz on the 7”, but the to-the-wall thrashing, although they your clothes, eyes burning, lingering three songs that are on both releases RETCHING RED: were more than capable of that when notes drifting through the air, slow (especially “Things I Should Have Scarlet Whore of War: CD the need arose, before calling it quits in to dissipate. And although it doesn’t Told You Before” and “Two Step I must admit, I get a huge charge out of 1985. The recordings here are all studio come right out and scream all the way across Two Harbors”) sound almost hearing a super-fast, aggressive punk takes, and there’s even a track recorded through like the quiver of released like a new song was created between rock band fronted by a female vocalist by a lineup in 2004. Pick of the litter? and previously collected singles, the two recordings. They remind of me screaming unapologetically about An almost surreal interpretation of the result’s remarkable. It’s a slow- a bit of Shakey Bones, where there is her bloody womb. Vocalist Cinder the Archies’ “Sugar Sugar.” Good to burning smolder that shows age as a strong tie to roots music, but there’s Block is the best thing about this see these kids get their due. –Jimmy maturity, which, when it does explode, way too much punch and energy to solid, politically charged collection of Alvarado (Vinehell) is all the more powerful (think of the call it folk. (Plus it wouldn’t do either music. Her scratchy sing/screaming tension of the burning fuse). Joan band justice to make pigeonhole them makes me want to see this band live, RIOT SQUAD: No Potential Threat: CD Jett’s not dead, but Alicja Trout is my like that.) At times, reminiscent of like, right now. And even though I’m Riot Squad were one of the lesser generation’s Joan Jett: an undeniable Cranford Nix’s gloomy outlook and not an American, I totally appreciated known “UK82” bands, lasting only talent driving a force behind whatever voice. At other times, they sound like the frustration and anger present in WKH ¿UVW KDOI RI WKH V ,Q WKRVH marketing ploy could theoretically be they’d be right at home on a show songs like “Blue Kid Trapped in a few years, however, they managed foisted upon her. At the core, she’s a with any of the Tampa/ A.D.D. bands. Red State.” This is the kind of CD that to release a number of seven-inchers consummate, passionate musician. This, on repeat, has been my commute requires a lot of jumping around the and one posthumous LP, No Potential This is music for mature rockers soundtrack for two weeks straight. I room. I did it. You will too. –Jennifer Threat, of which this is a reissue, who don’t devalue youth nor fake just can’t take it out of my CD player. Whiteford (Rodent Popsicle) complete with numerous tracks from their age and it’s for fans of bands Fantastic. –Megan (Ragged But Right the aforementioned singles seven- as widely scattered as the Bassholes, / Redemption Value) RIBZY: 81-85 Recordings: CD inchers and a couple of demo cuts. Top Ten, Big Star, Mouserocket, Roky Ribzy was one of those bands in the Musically they come off as a mélange (ULFNVRQDQGZHOOJUHDWURFNPXVLF RESISTANCE 77: ‘80s that everyone knew about but of Discharge, Blitz and, especially –Todd (Dirtnap) Songs for a Nanny State: CD never really had much of anything by ³7URRSVRI7RPRUURZ´HUD([SORLWHG Another strong album from these them—or at least that was the case thanks on no small part to their singer ROYAL PAINS, THE: guys, with tons of poppy punk stuff with everyone I knew. I think with the sounding like a helluva lot like Wattie. Get Punched: 7” EP that would make Cocksparrer fans exception of a tune on some faceless Brusque, primal and political, these Part A Lines: Frenzied, helium squirrel giddy and even a couple of speedier homemade comp culled from tracks guys may not have been brimming female vocals (which are rad.) Part nail tunes this time out. Although at one lifted from some long-ago punk radio with technical prowess (then again, hammered into the trachea, growling point they sing “keep your petty show and their sole track on MRR’s how many of the truly great hardcore male vocals ala Whiskey Sunday. Part politics away from me,” they aren’t legendary Not So Quiet on the Western bands really were?), but they got their %LOO\&KLOGLVKKLV¿QJHUSULQWVDUHDOO afraid to tackle serious subjects, like Front compilation I hadn’t heard point across quite well. Good stuff. over this 7”, and beyond the fact that the degradation of their neighborhoods another note from them until putting –Jimmy Alvarado (Captain Oi) he produced and mixed it, The Royal (saying that “We need to lock the this puppy on the player. In short, this Pains’ celebrate musical amateurism parents up/if they don’t know how was a treat. Starting off as a sloppy, and worn kneecap music well-loved by Mr. Childish. Part Triggers: inevitable, given the British-man- shan’t be disappointed. If you didn’t DQG )DOO RI 0RGHUQ /LYLQJ. One of 5RWWHGRXW¿OOLQJV OHDGLQWKHEORRG with-discernable-accent-and-acoustic- like Astray, you’re a no class fucking my favorite bands right now. –Brian stream meanness and “Is it a party? political-songs thing that Russ tool. –Stevo (Hopeless) Mosher (Teenacide) Okay, I’ll piss my pants” feel. Their Substance has going on. I like that full powderkegosity culminates on the this has a little zine-ish insert with the SCREAMING FEMALES: SHOCK NAGASAKI: ¿QDOVRQJ³(\HRQsongwriter, and the band does Bastards, sometime in the late ‘90s. and playing no fucking shows in the such a brilliant job of melding the As blasphemous as it’ll sound, I didn’t RUSS SUBSTANCE: 86 EXW WRXULQJ SOHQW\ LQ (XURSH more intellectual side of The Kinks really care for it at the time: there was The Safest Place to Hide a Book: CD and South America. If you liked with the more innocent side of The something too… warm about it. They This little album is totally adorable. their last record Astray, you’re a true Modern Lovers, that you can’t help were blending these really tight tempo Billy Bragg comparisons are gentleperson of distinction and you but love every moment of The Rise and chord changes with a certain… bounciness (God, my adjectives are in this review—the “So Sick” 7” came it on and be amazed, kid. –Jimmy Bobbyteens 45s, anyway, melding blowing today); it initially came out nearly a year ago. This release is Alvarado (Deranged) that whole mid-‘90s SuperCatchy across as a bit too imprecise, almost everything a 7” should be—short, Darin Ravioli aesthetic with that sloppy—I appreciated the verse- punchy songs that are catchy as hell, SINKING SHIPS: Disconnecting: CD “sensitive but horny” Buddy Holly chorus-verse aspect of punk back rudimentary guitar leads, vocals Fast, straight edge hardcore from this via the Ramones crunch of M.O.T.O. then, and Lifetime discarded that to dripping with attitude and cover Seattle band. This is a little bit better ³(YHU\ERG\ VD\V WKDW \RX¶UH WRR some degree. They weren’t actually photos courtesy of Canderson. The one lyrically and vocally than most bands \RXQJ(YHU\ERG\ VD\V WKDW ,¶P WRR sloppy, not by any means, but they sheet says there’s a full length coming WKDWSOD\WKLVVW\OHEXW\RXGH¿QLWHO\ GXPE&RPH RQ OLWWOH JLUO OHW¶V KDYH were altering the template, expanding out on Rip Off Records. Sounds to me know what you’re getting. Fans of Kid some fun/Oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh on it, and that threw me. Jump forward like the perfect match. –Josh Benke Dynamite, Champion, or the Bridge yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah!” Well nearly ten years and there’s a glut of (NoMa Beach) 9 roster would do well to check this 5,*+7 7+( )8&. 21 IRUPHUO\ bands tilling their ground. I really band out. –Mike Frame (Revelation) QDNHGGXGH³(LJKWHHQ\HDUVLVDORQJ can’t tell you how many reviews SIEGE: Drop Dead: CD long time” indeed! B-side is three I’ve read recently in which bands are Although I would argue the point SNEAKY PINKS: I Can’t Wait: 7” EP more bursts of jeenyus, including the getting compared to Lifetime now. that these guys are the originators of «WKHVH JX\V VHQW PH WKHLU ¿UVW  immortal couplet “I wanna blowjob/I With all that in mind, I’m not going to “grindcore”—sorry, but Deep Wound a while ago, and, while i distinctly wanna hot dog.” Strange as this may say that Shook Ones are a straight up predates ‘em by at least a year—I will remember that it had a picture of sound, this might be the best 7” 45 Lifetime rip-off, but the similarities FRQFHGH WKDW WKH\ GH¿QLWHO\ KDG WKH Little Richard on the sleeve and with one song on the A-side and three DUH GH¿QLWHO\ DEVROXWHO\ WKHUH ODUJHVW ZRUOGZLGH LQÀXHQFH WKDQNV came wrapped in tinfoil, i could songs on the B-side since “Nervous Difference is that I actually appreciate in no small part to their inclusion on QRW DIWHU VLJQL¿FDQW WRLO DFFRXQW Breakdown,” unless i forgot about that warm “bag full of rocks and Jello” Pushead’s Cleanse the Bacteria comp for the whereabouts of the item something. Oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah aspect of Lifetime now, and the Shook and their earlier Drop Dead demo. when questioned. Following a oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah! Ones sound like the more precise, As evidenced by this nine-song, live performance that was, by my %(67 621* ³, &DQ¶W :DLW´ %(67 straight-forward version of the band I seventeen-minute “discography” of recollection, both vaguely amusing 621*7,7/(³/LIH6WXSLG,6WXSLG´ was looking for back then. So that’s nearly everything the band released and mercifully brief (about ten minutes FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA it, in a nutshell—super-similar to (only one other song by a later lineup of a nude guy shoving a White Flag FACT: The plain pink labels are not Lifetime, if that band concentrated is apparently out there), the reverence reject lookin’ dude if memory holds), actually plain pink paper; they are a more vigorously on the sharp angles they’ve been afforded by bands like i wound up with a copy of the second tint screen of magenta on white stock. and taut edges in their songs. –Keith Infest, Drop Dead and, yes, Napalm 45, under strict orders from a formerly Also, i still don’t know the name of Rosson (Revelation) Death is well-deserved, as they were nude gentleman not to lose it without that Goner Records font. –Rev. Nørb one motherfucker of a band, indeed. OLVWHQLQJWRLWDVZLWKWKH¿UVWRQH, (Rubber Vomit) SHOP FRONTS: So Sick: 7” (LJKW RI WKH WUDFNV ZKL] E\ OLNH D can say with some assurance that i I gotta give a heartfelt apology to the Mack truck lobbed at your noggin by was not expecting much from the SNITCHES GET STITCHES: Even a bands that sent releases to Razorcake a very pissed off Superman, delivered UHFRUG,ZDVLQ(5525In ERROR I Butchered Carcass Can Shine: CD and were unfortunate enough to at breakneck velocity, this was a SAY!!! The a-side, “I Can’t Wait,” is a Angry, angular metal with lots of have them passed on to me. Personal harbinger of the deluge of a legion 7+,1*RI6+((5(67*(1,86$ speed, precision and complicated time blahblahblahs got in the way of of less talented bands that followed ORZ¿²KHOO QR¿—ode to underage FKDQJHV7KH¿UVWFRXSOHVRQJVUHPLQG my review duties and I’m just now in their wake. Although many have ugly-bumpin’ that reminds the listener me of Poland’s Antigama, brutal, fast, working through the backlog of upped the speed quotient, only a paltry what the fuck the big deal was about and thrashing about. Things slow down UHFRUGVDQG&'VSLOHGXSRQP\ÀRRU few have managed to come close to those Radio X/Super a bit for “Mom and Me at the Zoo,” but Nowhere is this better illustrated than matching Siege’s sheer muscle. Plop Teem era Brentwoods/Donnas/ it’s no less punishing than the faster numbers. Sounds like Helmet and actually makes that grittiness work you had to be there). Think Wiggle- STREETSIDE PROPHETS: 6DWDQPLJKWEHLQÀXHQFHV,¶PRQO\ for them—the dirty recording serves era Screeching Weasel. Oh they also Talking to Walls: CD halfway through the disc and already them perfectly. Jagged, bright guitar have a super duper cute gal on bass These high school kids have got to I’m exhausted. Aspiring serial killers, riffs serve as the launching pad, drums DQGD0LGGOH(DVWHUQORRNLQ¶JHQWRQ VWRSEHLQJLQÀXHQFHGE\HPRVRRQHU you’ve found your soundtrack. –Josh that sound like someone’s pissed off guitar. Nice. –Mr. Z (Cold Feet) or later. –Mr. Z (Formula Thirteen) %HQNH (PSW\ and punching through cardboard keep everything tethered to the ground, and STITCHES, THE: 8 X 12: CD STRESSFACE: SOBRIETY STARTS TOMORROW: the result is something that’s wholly I feel like I run into a lot of Stitches Oh, You’re Welcome: CD In the Key of Whiskey: CD-R tense and nerve-wracking. And I records in the $5 sale bins of record This is a project band comprised They’ve aptly written their review for mean that as a compliment. It’s like a stores. Fast, catchy stuff with kind of of almost the entire staff of No Idea PH ,Q ³7KLV 6RQJ ,V 'H¿QLWHO\ 1RW mixture of Yage or some other long- dumb lyrics, beer bottles breaking, Records, which is funny because the About Vampires,” they have the lyric, ORVW µV (EXOOLWLRQ EDQG DQG JURXSV and songs that are under two minutes. CD isn’t on No Idea. Judging from the “my songs are poor excuses for all the like Science Of Yabra’s heavy, weird, So, you know, fun. The Pogues song lyrics, you’d think running a record music I adore.” Against Me! is a pretty wall-like riffs that carry the whole “This Womans Got Me Drinking” is label is nothing but dealing with UPS. safe guess for one of the bands they song along. I admire bands that don’t probably the highlight. –Comrade I mean, I’m sure they deal with UPS a adore. Although SST is a lot faster, go for the easy plays, the obvious Bree (Vinyl Dog) lot, but damn, how about some songs WKHUH¶VDGH¿QLWHUHVHPEODQFHWRWKHLU chord progressions or song structures. about something else? Where are the statemates there (This is also recorded Bands that delve a little bit deeper and STRAIGHT TO HELL: songs about paying royalties to bands? by Rob McGregor, who has recorded come up with something, like State ‘02-‘04 Discography: CD Sending promo posters out on the road AM!). There’s nothing bad about Run has, that’s serrated and mean and Goddamn, one shudders to imagine IRU WRXUV" 6WXI¿QJ UHFRUGV LQ SODVWLF this in and of itself, but it leaves me smart, that keeps the listener stuck in the plethora of slayed dragons and sleeves? I know these dudes do more wondering what they’ll be like once this place that’s somewhere between razed villages that must’ve fallen than joke around with the UPS guy. they develop their own sound that isn’t wanting to tap your foot and wanting prey to this band in their short two- Musically, it’s pretty decent hardcore; derivative of those who they admire. to just geek out to its anxiousness and year existence. I’m getting that from they really play up the sleeveless shirt I’ll look for it. –Megan (self-released) this sense of creeping apprehension. the cover, which features an army and bullet belt thing, but they actually So, yeah, Paralysis is gritty and raw as of soldiers coming out of a large sound a bit tamer than most other SONNY VINCENT: P.I.N.S.: 2 x CD all get out, utilizing the terms “edgy” dragon-headed ship, being led by a bands that imagery brings to mind. If this album was a Ramone, it would DQG ³QHUYRXV´ WR WKH IXOOHVW $ ¿QH guy with a He-Manesque breastplate Still, this is a fun album well worth the EH 'DQLHO 5H\ %(67 621* ³%DG record. –Keith Rosson (Rat Patrol) and a dog’s head. It’s really no big listen. –Ben Snakepit (Plan-It-X) $WWLWXGH´%(67621*7,7/(³'UXJ shocker that Gloom released this: Binge” FANTASTIC AMAZING STEINWAYS, THE: Straight To Hell’s playing straight- STRIKE ANYWHERE: Dead FM: CD TRIVIA FACT: 3-D cover art Missed the Boat: CD up thrash, with throat-rending vocals There’s a deep poetics, undeniable (including boobies!) by the late Mad (DVW FRDVW SRSSXQN JURXS ZKR and the occasional screeching metal humanity, and romance-distilled Marc Rude! –Rev. Nørb (NDN) EHIULHQGV WKH OLNHV RI WKH (UJV DQG solo thrown in. The bad: I guess I rebellion that rages through Strike the Unloveables (in fact one of the really shouldn’t review thrash shit Anywhere like a river breaking its STATE RUN: Paralysis: 7” songs has a bridge that is a nod and anymore; all of these bands just start banks. At the heart of the matter aren’t All too often in punkland (or at least a wink to the Unloveables’ “Feelin to blend together after awhile. The empty words (fuck me, fuck you, fuck the dark and sordid world of punk DOO(PR6LQFH,%URNH8S:LWKthe cult of celebrity, class disparity, off. Super Black Market’s drawing WKDW UDLVLQJ D ¿VW GXULQJ WKHLU VRQJ copier is running out of toner and you capitalism and public’s acquiescence heavily from bands like Refused (in was “unity.”) On the contrary, Strike make a copy of a copy of a copy and the of all of it. The tempos may have the moments where they go from stop Anywhere has taken the upside-down copy you just made has no connection slowed a bit, there isn’t an immediate on a dime hardcore shit, with strained, banner of the disenfranchised, the stark to the roots of the music. Because I anthem like “Fuck You,” “Big Picture” blood-gargling vocals, to quiet, courage to not merely repeat previous love bringing this up, I’ll also say it’s or “Slave to My Dick” and there’s a bit verging-on-pretty musical interludes records, sing smartly about it, and— OLNH WKRVH KRRGLHÀDQQHO FRPERV WKDW of “rock” around the edges of a couple and actual, like, singing) and Jets Vs. I’m having a hard time saying this for were in Mervyns in the early ‘90s of songs, but on the whole this stands Sharks (they’re writing songs that a punk band—wrap it all up with an because “grunge” was popular. It up quite nicely against their previous are managing to come across catchy amazing ballad. –Todd (Fat) looks basically like the original but it’s albums No Wishes, No Prayers and as all get out, mercilessly catchy, but a complete misunderstanding of the Incorrect Thoughts, and at worst is DOVR ¿OOHG ZLWK WRWDOO\ IXFNHG WLPH SUBB: The Motions: CD original intent and aesthetic. The only consistently above-average, which is signatures and weird, discordant parts, Between the ages of sixteen and upshot here is the political leanings more than DOA has been able to say without sounding like they’re reading eighteen, a day didn’t go by that I didn’t that from time to time break up the trite in at least twenty years (mind you, WKH&OLII1RWHVWRWKH'LVFRUGDQW(PR listen to ska of some wave or another. songs about girls and “dancing ‘til the I say this as a huge DOA fan who Band Handbook) and totally coming My record collection ran the gamut of break of day.” –Stevo (Stomp) remains optimistic that Joey will soon XS ZLWK WKHLU RZQ GH¿QLWLYH VRXQG it’s thirty-plus year history. This was ¿QG HQRXJK LQVSLUDWLRQ LQ WKH FXUUHQW There’s such a danger in music like also the brief time when I enjoyed SUBHUMANS: global dysfunction to write and record this, especially in the vocals, that are dancing and actually had a ferocious New Dark Age Parade: CD a full album’s worth of visceral, clear and discernable almost all of the skank. And I don’t mean some monkey Before all you anglophiles and hippie- mind-bogglingly good music that’ll time, of sounding a tad bit too radio- mosh dance done by punk kids. I punks get all hot ’n’ bothered, this reinvigorate my faith and whop me friendly. Will Sell Anything avoids fancied myself an extra in the movie isn’t the latest from Dick, Trotsky and upside the head for ever doubting him). that ugly pitfall with the fact that, despite its inherent toe-tapability, are melodic, yeah, but the melody’s associate with music like this. There’s PHDW¿UVWEHFDXVHLWZDVVXFKDVWDUN there’s something that’s just a touch buried. They’re more focused on isn’t a single threat to “get” somebody difference from the songs on the 7” creepy and dark about it, possibly in getting in there, playing the song on this record, a breath of fresh air and compilations. Her voice grew on spite of the band’s intentions. Nearly and getting the fuck out. So I guess in a genre that oftentimes relies a me the more I listened; these songs and every song has one or more of those I’d say it sounds a lot like Lifetime fuck of a lot on antagonism and gang their subjects should be heard through moments where you just go, “Shit, that ¿OWHUHG WKURXJK D VWDQGDUG KDUGFRUH mentality. That Was Then pull out the whiskey and gravel. As a group they part rips”, and there’s an earnestness colander, with a touch of thrash thrown expected stops here: tempo changes, beat the shit out of their instruments to the vocals, genuineness, that bands in the mix. The layout for this thing’s group vocals, muted guitar riffs, to my grinning satisfaction. When the rarely seem to pull off. And they’re absolutely gorgeous (though I’ve got a fast breakdowns, all of it. It’s not the realization that I will probably never get tackling some heavy stuff lyrically, sinking feeling it’s not being offered on freshest or most groundbreaking record to see them again sinks in, my pint glass with a certain amount of grace and vinyl) and there’s a few hidden tracks to come out, musically speaking, but won’t just hold beer but also my tears. guardedness, without coming across WKDWFRQVLVWRI0LV¿WVDQG%ODFN)ODJ they certainly know what they’re doing, Last time I saw them live we were really like you’re reading a text collage-poem FRYHUV 'H¿QLWHO\ D GHFHQW RXWLQJ and they get some points for not taking drunk and singing along and Annie or some kid’s acid-addled journal entry. –Keith Rosson (One Day Savior) the easy road lyrically—shit, they’re asked, “Who yells ‘hooray’ anymore?” Overall, it’s a complex and innately tackling the death of a parent, the need When listening to TIMF!, this guy right modern sounding punk record, one THAT WAS THEN: Troublemakers: CD to not marginalize women in hardcore, here. –Chris Devlin (No Idea) that thankfully comes just a touch short Would an ‘80s Victory Records and pulling Malcolm X sound bites in of being too slick and polished for its comparison be accurate? Quite the last song. It’s not the kind of music THOR: own good. Instead, it winds up being possibly. The cover’s got a bunch of that moves me that often, but these Devestation of Musculation: CD a record with the occasional honest- people clutching each other in the guys deserve credit for tackling topics You know what? If you don’t have a to-shit guitar solo that I can not only pit, everyone’s either groping one that don’t often get discussed, and drummer, then you don’t have a band, stand, but actually really, really like. another or, like, possibly so lit up in doing it in a way that’s smart as hell and, therefore, you shouldn’t record –Keith Rosson (Minnow) this incredible moment of kinship that and inclusive. Nice work, guys. –Keith an album. Yeah, I know John Mikl they all just had to sing the next chorus Rosson (Armada In Flames) Thor is real old-school and I’ve seen TAKE MY CHANCES: together. Thank God the camera was Rock N Roll Nightmare and all that, Down Here with Us: CD there to capture such a candid moment. THAT’S HIM! THAT’S THE GUY!: but that doesn’t change the fact that These guys just come slamming out of Given the cover and the title of the Help Me, I’m on Fire: CDEP this album is tired, uninspired metal, WKH JDWH ZLWK WKH ¿UVW VRQJ DQG GRQ¶W record, I was mentally steeling myself If Procol Harum started an acoustic recorded with a shitty-sounding quit. It’s some competent hardcore for some thickneck, tough guy brocore new folk band and let the star of a drum machine. It sounds like a demo stuff with a vocalist that, when he’s not (Brocore: Subgenre of “hardcore” children’s programming show be the that some kid made in his bedroom, screaming himself bloody, sounds like punk rock, with a lyrical focus on: singer, you’d have TH!TTG!, and except this kid has gotta be well into he’s belting out forgotten tunes from a IULHQGVKLS FUHZV QHYHU JLYLQJ XS you’d have me reaching for the stop KLV¿IWLHVE\QRZ-HVXV&KULVW±%HQ Hello, Bastards-era recording session. JHWWLQJ EDFN DW WKRVH ZKR KDYH button. –Megan (Jumberlack) Snakepit (Smog Veil) Actually, when I’m doing something stabbed one in the back, staying true else and not really focusing on Down to something, watching one another’s THIS IS MY FIST!: TOXIC HOLOCAUST: Here With Us, not actively listening back—presumably so it won’t get A History of Rats: CD Evil Never Dies: CD to it, the whole thing really starts to VWDEEHG²HWF HWF  Thankfully, That 7KLV LV WKH ¿UVW DQG DSSDUHQWO\ RQO\ Do you like eighties speed metal? You WDNH RQ WKH GH¿QLWH ÀDYRU DQG SXQFK Was Then steer way clear of that whole full length from TIMF! The sweetness will love TH. Imagine hearing bands of a Lifetime record. When the focus shtick by actually being pretty positive, that could be heard in Annie’s voice like Kreator, Destruction, Hellhammer, returns, I start to note differences or at least avoiding a lot of macho on earlier releases has been replaced %DWKRU\RUWKH¿UVW6OD\HU/37KDWLV between the two—Take My Chances posturing, something that I totally with whiskey and gravel. This bothered the same vibe as here. But one thing is different here. This a one man show: soaked, rag-on-the-mouth music that you probably already have it. –Ben much metal guitar noodling, and a Joel Grind takes his love of speed stands proudly by itself. Great stuff. 6QDNHSLW (SLWDSK  few with tons of reverb on the vocals, metal and plays all the instruments on –Todd (Alien Snatch) but you have to consider the musical recordings. On tour, he brings a band VARIOUS ARTISTS: climate at the time it was originally along to be able to play his music to UNCLE SCRATCH’S GOSPEL REVIVAL: CD Sampler # 1: CD recorded. And, for that, it’s one hell of the masses. This year when he toured North of Hell: CD Like most compilations, this sampler a time capsule for a scene rarely heard the states, he brought along the New A bizarro gospel two piece consisting is a bit uneven. But, any comp that about. –Megan (Incas) York band Bludwulf. I hear for his RI %URWKHU$QW DQG %URWKHU (G ZKR includes The Dimestore Haloes’ tour next year he is bringing along share guitar, vocal, drum and other “Hot Pink Stereo” is automatically VARIOUS ARTISTS: Japan’s Abigail to open and back up his assorted instrumental duties. The guaranteed a good review from me. Ostry Dyzur Vol. 2: CD madness. My introduction to TH is his vocals are sung through a megaphone Plus, you get The Soda Pop Kids, I know the following things about latest, being the Hell on Earth CD. This and there’s a palpable redneck vibe. Kevin K, The Joneses (I love “Tits this. It’s from Poland and the cover is a re-release of the (YLO1HYHU'LHV I’ll bet if you saw these guys walking and Champagne” almost as much illustration has an American Indian, LP and bonus tracks from the Death down the street, they’d both be chewin’ as tits and beer), The Urgencies, a punk puking on an interviewers Master(3DQGDFRPSWUDFNIURPWKH on a piece of straw. USGR is at their 7KH (OHFWULF .LVVHV DQG WRQV PRUH microphone, a guy who looks like 2XWEUHDNRI(YLO(36WUDLJKWXSVSHHG best when tackling country tinged Full Breach Kicks is one of the best Venom from Spider-Man strangling a metal here. Growling vocals, bright spirituals like “Johnny, Jesus & Me,” labels going these days, and this is a skinhead, and a girl with dreads and distorted guitars, simple bass lines, and “You’ve Got a Friend” and “Lord Took UHDO ¿QH LQWURGXFWLRQ WR WKHLU UHFHQW no shirt on involved in some sort of single bass drumming. Three beers in, my Hand.” They come off like a couple catalog. I could have done without pit. There’s some weird shit going on headbanging is a simple fact without of aww-shucks charmers. Not so The Street Brats and the Rock’n’Roll in Poland. Because there’s no booklet over analyzing the musicianship. Devil appealing are the psychobilly stylings Stormtroopers, but that’s just me. and very little info on the sleeve, I’m horns in the air type of stuff. If I have of “Gates of Hell.” If the picture in the –Brian Mosher (Full Breach Kicks) assuming this is a comp of punk from piqued your interest, buy everything by liner notes is any indication of their live 3RODQG EXW WKH ¿UVW WUDFN OHDGV RII this guy. –Donofthedead (Gloom) show, they must be a hoot to witness. A VARIOUS ARTISTS: with some smooth rhumba number true and pleasant surprise. –Josh Benke Connecticut Fun: CD that towards the end almost turns in to TURPENTINE BROTHERS: (Rock N Roll Purgatory) Reissue of the hardcore comp that a ska song. After that though we’re off Get Your Mind off Me: 7” came out in ’85, which was a few DQGUXQQLQJ6RPHVRQJVLQ(QJOLVK Blues and soul used to heartbeat around VANNA: years before I started listening to some not, some okay…some very the highways of America one road The Search Party Never Came: CD anything remotely like this. The only not. One thing is for sure though, I house, chapel, and boozing ken at a This is fucking horrible. Go turn band featured here to ever get some approve of the use of accordion on a time. It’s a different war of culture now; on MTV2 or Fuse or whatever. I decent recognition outside of New lot of these songs. The accordion is a against the stucco footprints of chain guarantee you that whatever’s on (QJODQGLVMidnight Oil, the scope and breadth this volume has the best song they Criminals, “More Suicides Please” they receive proper compensation for of what came off of that oft-neglected FRXOG ¿QG IURP  SOXV WKH VWXII FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA playing principal roles? Did they get continent might prove to be a bit mind- they had lying around from 1977- FACT: If you would like to experience stunt pay for doing their own stunts? blowing. To school you on high points 1989 that wasn’t good enough to great frustration, grab a handful of Although numerous articles indicate of the Australian rock underground make it into Volume 1. Huh. It starts Australian currency and try organizing the script was based on their stories comes this stunner of a compilation, strongly enough, with the original, the bills into a nice, tidy stack. –Rev. and that they ad-libbed much of their showcasing tracks from assorted singles four-minute-plus version of Radio Nørb (Feel Presents) dialogue, they didn’t receive writing UHOHDVHGGXULQJWKHSHULRGLGHQWL¿HGLQ Birdman’s “New Race,” the Saints’ credit. Is it safe to assume, then, that the title. That means you get seminal “Know Your Product,” some blatant VARIOUS ARTISTS: they also weren’t given screenwriters tracks from the legendary (The Saints, theft of the Vibrators’ “Baby Baby” Wassup Rockers Soundtrack: CD wages for their efforts? Finally, for Radio Birdman, X, Birthday Party), the by some teenagers who had their In the interest of full disclosure, I gotta their efforts on the soundtrack being well-regarded (Died Pretty, Hard-Ons, manager play the instruments on their say that, speaking as an older Latino reviewed, will they be receiving 7KH 1HZ &KULVWV &HOLEDWH 5LÀHV  records, and “More Suicides Please” punk who spent most of his life playing writing and performance royalties for assorted Killed by Death faves (Psycho by the Thought Criminals, whom punk rock, this CD and the related their inclusion here? Judging from Surgeons, The Scientists, The Victims) i was previously unfamiliar with. movie really fucking bug me. It’s not the demo-quality-at-best recordings and a bevy of obscure groups (God, Things go rapidly south after that (no the music on here—courtesy of South RIWKHVRQJVLQFOXGHG DQG¿QGLQJQR Wet Taxis, Pel Mel, Sunnyboys, Thug, small feat for the only continent other &HQWUDO 5LRW 6TXDG 'H¿DQFH 7KH “recorded at” credits anywhere on the Makers of the Dead Travel Fast, Do Re than Antarctica that’s completely Revolts, The Retaliates, The Remains CD insert or tray card, one is led to Mi and a buncha others), all presenting VRXWK RI WKH (TXDWRU  GHVFHQGLQJ and L.A.’s Moral Decay (not to be assume that they indeed compiled this a wide variety of punk and post-punk into completely irredeemable Missing confused with the ‘80s band Moral from assorted demos), my guess is the noise for your listening pleasure, and Persons-isms at the beginning of the Decay, who tore shit up in the SGV answer to all of the above would be a all of them nothing short of fuggin’ eighties, and muddling into similarly back in the ‘80s)—that irks me. It’s just resounding “no.” I seem to remember cool. There’s something for nearly nowhere college rock doldrums more of that certain breed of hardcore Tony Adolescent once saying that the everyone’s taste on display here— thereafter. Nothing of value emerges that kids have slammed to in L.A. sum total he received for the inclusion from the grungy proto-punk of The in the last nine-tenths of this collection backyards since the ‘80s, nothing more, of “Amoeba” on the soundtrack Saints to the trash/thrash of the Psycho by any band you’ve never heard of, nothing less. No, what really pisses me to SLC Punk was one copy of the Surgeons to the new-wavy pop of the and the contributions by those you off is the apparent seediness of the soundtrack, and I’m willing to bet 7ULI¿GV WR 'LHG 3UHWW\¶V JORRPURFN have (Lime Spiders, Hoodoo Gurus, whole Wassup Rockers trip. Putting that’s the case here, at best. The thing to the Motorhead-meets-Descendents Feedtime, Happy Hate Me Nots) aside the supposed questionable, is, if they’re gonna fuck these kids out musings of the criminally overlooked are nowhere near enough to stop the lurid motives and controversy over of all that is due to them, the least they Hard-Ons—and those with broad product as a whole from circling the GLUHFWRU /DUU\ &ODUN¶V²ZKR ¿UVW could’ve done is sprung for a really tastes will truly appreciate the bounty GUDLQ &/2&.:,6(V¶LOYRXVSODLW). came to prominence with the movie good recording session for their bands. before them. Truly indispensable, this One supposes this might be a handy Kids—selection of subject matter At worst, that would’ve cost a couple is. –Jimmy Alvarado (Feel Presents) item to have around if you’re doing IRU WKLV DQG KLV SUHYLRXV ¿OPV ,¶P of weekends with a computer rigged your Master’s Thesis on Australian more than a little curious about how with ProTools and someone who knew VARIOUS ARTISTS: popular music of the eighties, it’s the leads for Rockers—a bunch of how to use it. My suggestion is to seek Tales from the Australian GXH WRPRUURZ DQG \RX FDQ¶W ¿QG South Central Latino skatepunks out the bands on the Internet, get their Underground, Vol. 2: 1977-1990: 2 x CD Volume 1 anywhere; in all other cases, upon which the whole shebang, from demos directly from them and ignore It is my understanding that volume L VXVSHFW WKH RSSRVLWH LV WUXH %(67 subject matter to script to stunts to WKH ¿OP DQG LWV VRXQGWUDFN ±-LPP\ RQH RI WKLV VHULHV VSDQQHG WKH  SONG: Radio Birdman, “New Race” VRXQGWUDFNLVEDVHG²ZHUH¿QDQFLDOO\ Alvarado (Record Collection) VARIOUS ARTISTS: Strike Anywhere and Rob Huddleson member of said band would want to and thought they were going to slow We’ll Inherit the Earth… PDNHVDQHZW\SHRIVHQVH /RRN piss all over her former band’s legacy down a bit but that was a tease. They a Tribute to The Replacements: CD back and fondly remember the good by releasing something that makes NHSW¿ULQJRIIPRUHUDJH,WZDVOLNH This CD was like experiencing all times while you reach in the fridge for “sub-par” sound like a compliment? getting blindsided by a garbage truck the stages of drunkenness, but out hair of the dog. In recap: didn’t like Do I want a complete rehash of the while you are driving your economy of order. 1.) Anticipation. Before I LW DW ¿UVW SOD\HG LW PRUH DQG PRUH Stand Strong Stand Proud album? car. The damage level is going to be listened to it, and just read the song and now it’s pretty darn great. Like Not by a long shot. Do I want hard- high. Five songs total that is straight selections and bands, it was like virtually all comps, not all gold, but KLWWLQJ DQJU\ WRSLFDO DQG 6,1&(5( DKHDGSLVVHGRIISXQNZLWKQR¿OOHU shotgunning three Sparks. Tiltwheel? neither were some of the originals. music from a band claiming to be Now I need some aspirin because they (UJV"7LP9HUVLRQ"7KLV,V0\)LVW" I mean, fuck, who needs gods who “punk,” especially one claiming such hurt my eardrums. –Donofthedead $OULJKW6WRNHG ([SHFWDWLRQVOHIW never failed themselves, right? –Todd a respected pedigree? You bet yer (Kangaroo) XQVDWLV¿HG )LUVW VSLQ KXK PD\EH (1-2-3-4 Go!) IXFNLQJERRWV,GRNLG6DGO\,¿QG WKLVLVQ¶WDVDZHVRPHDV,¿UVWWKRXJKW nothing approximating that here. WARTORN: In the Name of the it would be. I’m torn. I know the VICE SQUAD:!Ał=JPġ CD –Jimmy Alvarado (SOS) Father, the Son, and the Holy War: CD Replacements songs really well and if , NQRZ ,¶P JRQQD JHW FUXFL¿HG E\ I’m reaching deep in to my crusty the bands’ covers are too close to the more than a few buddies for this, VIOLENCIA VIOLETA: record cover memory banks to recall original, it makes me want to listen to but here goes: Although the lyrics Violent Living: CD what cover they’re ripping off here. the original, not the cover. If the bands’ DUHRIWHQRIWKH³ZH¶UHGH¿DQWSXQ[ Some good ol’ anarcho-punk here, I want to say it’s a Hellkrusher 7”… covers are further stretched, I feel like gonna change the world” variety, OHDQLQJ PRUH WRZDUG WKH &RQÀLFW but something is telling me it was their bastardizing the ‘Mats. No one the music here—from the guitars to rather than Amebix side of the road. something from Portland. I don’t wins. 3.) The room is spinning. Take a Beki’s now-raspy vocals—screams The lyrics are in Portuguese, which know. It’s got a skull, a chaos symbol, step back. Lay down, don’t move, and bad, uninspired metal dipped in punk makes sense considering the band bullets and an AK-47. Let’s just say let it wash over you. Pace yourself. ÀRXULVKHVWRJLYHLWVWUHHWFUHG1RZ hails from Portugal, but an extensive they’re not mining the depths of their Find the songs that kill, that work both I’m willing to concede that a) it’s O\ULFVKHHWWUDQVODWHGLQWR(QJOLVKLV imagination with the booklet here. Is as covers and “alternative universe been some twenty-odd years since provided. Nice to hear there are still 3URIDQH([LVWHQFHFRUHDWHUP\HW",I originals.” Against Me! nail “Bastards this band’s prime, b) Beki’s the only some bands out there that circle their so allow me to hop on the band wagon of Young” and Drunken Boat wallops original member at this point, c) her A’s but haven’t wholly embraced the with that for this record. Rawr Rawr “Kids Don’t Follow.” 4.) Lace up your post-Vice Squad “progression” away whole “crust” sound. Diversity of Rawr crust with political lyrics, and an drinking shoes for paced, fun imbibing. from punk and more towards rock sound is always a good thing, kids. interesting story about almost dying The fact that the Queers track doesn’t as a solo artist and with Ligotage is –Jimmy Alvarado (Cat Food Money) from prescribed drugs for a mental have Joe singing about his cunt bound to creep into her more recent disorder from an ineffectual doctor having a dick, and is a sorta touching endeavors, but what I wanna know VOLENDAM DISEASE: who kept upping the dose. If you ever UHQGLWLRQ RI ³8QVDWLV¿HG´ LV RGGO\ is a) why does “progression” so At War with God: 7” wanted to see what an elephant shaped nice. Let the music blend and bob into often translate into “pretentious crap New Japanese band that features ex- novelty thong looks like on a man get the background as the party warms up. rock,” b) how a band can use such a members of Youth Revenge who play yourself this record. –Stevo Let the CD play on repeat and let it legendary moniker when it contains at some bad ass fast style ‘80s punk with (Crimes Against Humanity) stretch out over its hour of playtime. most the original singer and none of probably a love for Danish HC based 5.) The morning after, headache dully the original song architects and not see on the name. First three tracks blazed We have a fully searchable buzzing in the background, and the it’s a recipe for disaster (also known through so fast, I barely got the chance database of these record reviews, once-declared-as-pussy “Here Comes as the “TSOL Rule of Suckdom of to soak in what was coming out of the and thousands more, up on www.razorcake.org the Regulars” covered by Thomas of the 1980s”), c) why said sole original VSHDNHUV , ÀLSSHG WKH UHFRUG RYHU We have an interwebsite that's being updated every other day with stuff that's not in the zine, filled wit hard-to-find distro, but we've got a soft spot for... Fleshies

www.razorcake.org CONTACT ADDRESSES to bands and labels that were reviewed either in this issue or posted on www.razorcake.org recently.

• 1-2-3-4 Go!, 2928 Telegraph Ave. # 3, • Divorce, 2687 Fuller Terrace, Halifax, • Kangaroo, Middenweg 13, 1098 • Rome Plow, PO Box 19753 Oakland, CA 94609 Nova Scotia B3K 3V9, Canada, AA Amsterdam, Holland Seattle, WA 98109 • A.D.D., PO Box 8240, • Domino, PO Box 47029, London SW18 • Light In The Attic, PO Box 31970 • Rubber Vomit, PO Box 3593, Tampa, FL 33674 1WD, www.dominorecordco.com Seattle, WA 98103 Tucson, AZ 85722 • Alien Snatch, Morikeweg 1, 74199 • Douchemaster, 156 Pearl St., Atlanta, GA • Little Deputy, PO Box 7066, • Sailor’s Grave, PO Box 6786, Untergruppenbach, Germany 30316, www.douchemasterrecords.com Austin, TX 78713-7066 Toledo, OH 43612 • Alternative Tentacles, • Duck On Monkey, 2225 Fox Heights Ln • Longshot, 302 Bedford Ave., • Savage, Farstav. 89 (8 TR), PO Box 419092, SF, CA 94141 #203, Green Bay, WI 54304 Brooklyn, NY 11211 123 34 Farsta, Sweden • Anko, PO Box 1799 Costa Mesa, CA • Empty, PO Box 12301, Portland, OR 97212 • Lude Boy, 6100 Edinger Ave., #822, • Screaming Females, 57 Ray St.Apt B, 92628, www.ankorecords.com • Epitaph, 2798 Sunset Blvd., LA, CA 90026 Huntington Beach, CA 92847 New Brunswick, NJ 08901 • AntAcidAudio, PO Box 1778, Orinda, CA • Eugene, PO Box 1002, • Mad Butcher, Kurze Geisemarstr. 6, • Seeing Eye, PO Box 88202, Chinatown, 94563, www.antacidaudio.com Lexington, KY 40588 D-37073 Gottingen, Germany Vancouver, BC, Canada V6A 4A5 • Apop, 9802 Greenvalley, • Eva Braun, c/o Cosmo K., • Mapleshade, 1100 Wicomico St., • Seizure 17, 118 W. Mt. Airy Ave., St. Louis, MO 63136 44 Santoro Rd., Worcester, MA 01606 5th Fl., Ste. 535, Baltimore, MD 21230 Philadelphia, PA 19119 • Arkam, 1925 Hwy 69 South, • Extra Day For Riots, 4303 11th Ave.E, • Mental, 2640 E. Barnett Rd.Ste. • Sh-K-Boom, 630 9th Ave. #407, Savannah, TN 38372 Bradenton, FL 34208 E-331, Medford, OR 97504 NY, NY 10036 • Armada In Flames, 111 S. Highland, Box • Fallen Angel, PO Box 3372, • Minnow, 7018 N. Fisk Court, • Sickroom, PO Box 47830, 175, Memphis, TN 38111 Burbank, CA 91508 Kansas City, MO 64151 Chicago, IL 60647 • At the Library, PO Box 1398, • Fat, PO Box 193690, SF, CA 94119 • Morphius, PO Box 13474, • Slab-O-Wax, PO Box 461082, Southampton, HANTS, SO16 9WX, UK • Feel Presents/Shock Records, PO Box Baltimore, MD 21203 San Antonio, TX 78246 • Australian Cattle God, 1306 E. 6th St., 2604 Preston BC, Victoria, Australia 3072, • My Cheap Ass Life, 10101 Rincon Ave., • Sling Slang, PO Box 606, Austin, TX 78702 www.feelpresents.com Pacoima, CA 91331 Southington, CT 06489 • Bacon Towne, PO Box 1063 • Fettkakao, PO Box 12 a-1232, • NDN, PO Box 131471, The Woodlands, • Smelvis, PO Box 1779, Tallevast, FL 34270 Wien Austria Texas 77393-1471, www.ndnrecords.com Wilmington, CA 90744 • Bad Idea, PO Box 6052, • Ffruk, 2 Hastings Works, • Neck, PO Box 375, Claymont, DE 19703 • Smog Veil, 1658 N Milwaukee Ave.#284, Huntington Beach, CA 92615 Conway Rd., London N15 2BH • Nitro, 7071 Warner Ave., F-736, Chicago, IL 60647, www.smogveil.com • Bad Taste, Box 1243, • Formula Thirteen, PO Box 7835, Huntington Beach, CA 92647 • Sobriety Starts Tomorrow, 306 34th Ct, 221 05 Lund, Sweden Tempe, AZ 85281 • No Front Teeth, PO Box 27070, Panorama City, FL 32405 • Beercan, PO Box 1204, • Fractured Transmitter, PO Box 33518 London, N2 9ZP, United Kingdom • Sonic Swirl, PO Box 111202, Cleveland, Bedford Park, IL 60499-1204 Cleveland, OH 44133 • No Fun, PO Box 8154, OH 44111, www.sonicswirlrecords.com • Beer City, PO Box 26035 • Full Breach Kicks, 2060 N. California Ann Arbor, MI 48107 • SOS, PO Box 3017, Corona, CA 92878 Milwaukee, WI 53226-0035 Ave. 2nd Fl., Chicago, IL 60647 • No Idea, PO Box 14636, • Spacement, 269 Wonder St., • Blood on the Drash, 2905 Park Ave. #2, • Get Revenge, PO Box 27071, Gainesville, FL 32604 Reno, NV 89502 Richmond, VA, 23221 Knoxville, TN 37927 • NoMa Beach, PO Box 735, • Spook City, PO Box 34891 • Blue Disguise, PO Box 16362, Seattle, WA • Geykido Comet, PO Box 3806, Sonoma, CA 995476 Philadelphia, PA 19101 98116, www.bluedisguise.com Fullerton, CA 92834 • One Day Savior, PO Box 372, • Springman, PO Box 2043, • Bony Orbit, 1318 S. Conway Rd., • Give Praise, PO Box 494, Wilson Park, NY 11596 Cupertino, CA 95015 Orlando, FL 32812 Barnstable, MA 02630-0494 • Pasazer, PO Box 42, 39-201, • Steel Cage, PO Box 29247, • Boom Chick, 6405 Morrill Ave., • Gloom, c/o Nate Wilson, 1463 Ocean Ave. Debica 3, Poland Philadelphia, PA 19125 Lincoln, NE 68507 Apt 2B, Brooklyn, NY 11230 • Pizza Pizza c/o Shawn Quinn, • Stomp, 78 Rachel E, • C.N.P., PO Box 14555, • Go Midnight, PO Box 20544, 630 Cameo St., Lansing, MI 48911 Montreal, QC H2W 1C6 Canada Richmond, VA 23221 Seattle, WA 98102 • Plan-It-X, PO Box 2646, • Stomping Ground, PO Box 64862, • C4Media, Studio City, CA 91604 • Going Underground, 1822 G St., Olympia, WA 98507 Phoenix, AZ 85082, • Captain Oi, c/o PO Box 501, High %DNHUV¿HOG&$ • Plastic Idol, 410 Bell Ave., Apt • Stumble, 57 Leaside Dr., Wycombe, Bucks, HP10 8QA • Go-Kart Europe, Postfach 120750, 25, Sacramento, CA 95838, www. St. Catherine’s, ON, Canada L2M 4G1. • Cat Food Money, c/o Chris Leger, 420 68085 Manheim Germany plasticidolrecords.com • Suburban Waste, 6865 SW Mayo St., North St., #105, San Marcos, TX 78666, • Go-Kart, PO Box 20, NY, NY 10012 • Postfact, PO Box 21041 Portland, OR 97223 www.catfoodmoney.com • Gold Standard Laboratories, PO Box Washington, DC 20009 • Suicide Watch, PO Box 9599, • Chocodog, PO Box 700, 65091, LA, CA 90065 • Prank, PO Box 410892, Charlotte, NC 28299 Ringoes, NJ 08551 • Goner, 2152 Young Ave., SF, CA 94141-0892 • Super Secret, PO Box 1585, • Chords Are Dead, 650 Stannage Ave., Memphis, TN 38104 • Pravda, PO Box 268043, Austin, TX 78767 Albany, CA 94706 • Grave Mistake, PO Box 12482, Chicago, IL 60626 • Swami, PO Box 620428, • Cold Feet, PO Box 91233, Richmond, VA 23241 • Punkcore, PO Box 916, San Diego, CA 92162 Raleigh, NC 27675 • Hellcat, 2798 Sunset Blvd., LA, CA 90026 Middle Island, NY 11953 • Tank Crimes, PO Box 3495, • Combat Rock, PO Box 65, • High School Refuse, Berlageweg 12, 9731 • Radio, PO Box 1452, Sonoma, CA Oakland, CA 94609 11101 Riimimaki, Finland LN Groningen, The Netherlands 95476, www.radiorecords.org • Teenacide, PO Box 29112, LA, CA 90029 • Contaminated, PO Box 41953, • Hook or Crook, 4219 Tanglewood Trail, • Ragged But Right / Redemption Value, • TKO, 8941 Atlanta Ave. #505, Huntington Memphis, TN, 38174 Spring Branch, TX 78070 1101 26th Ave. SE, Beach, CA 92646 • Crimes Against Humanity, • Hopeless, PO Box 7495, MPLS, MN 55414-2643 • Tortuga, PO Box 291430, LA, CA 90029 PO Box 1421, Eau Claire, WI 54702 Van Nuys, CA 91409 • Rat Patrol c/o Chris Davies, 22 Mill St., • Touch & Go, PO Box 25520, • Deranged, c/o Gordon Dufresne, • I Scream, Broekstraat 10, 1730 Ystrad, Rhondda, South Wales, Chicago, IL 60625 1166 Chaster Rd., Gibsons, B.C., Kobbegem, Belgium CF41 7SQ, UK • Trahison, 40 Rue Pelleport, 33800 V0N 1V4, Canada • I Scream, PO Box 46608, LA, CA 90046 • Rat Town, PO Box 50803, Bordeaux, France • Destroy All, PO Box 520, • Idol, PO Box 720043 Dallas, TX 75372 Jax Beach, FL 32240 • Underdogma, PO Box 5070 Van Nuys, CA 91408 • Incas, 28 Culvert City Rd., • Ratbone, c/o Luc Ardilouze, BP 40011, Fredericksburg, VA 22403 • Devil In The Woods, PO Box New Milford, CT 06776 33023 Bordeaux cedex, France • Unitree, PO Box 880908, 579168, Modesto, CA 95357 • Inimical, PO Box 2803, • Record Collection, 1223 Wilshire Blvd., Pukalani, HI 96788 • Devil’s Champion, Seattle, WA 98111 Suite 811, Santa Monica, CA 90403 • Vinehell, PO Box 36131, www.devilschampion.com • Iron Pier, PO Box 279, • Revelation, PO Box 5232, San Jose, CA 95158 • Dionysus, PO Box 1975, East Setauket, NY 11733 Huntington Beach, CA 92615 • Vinyl Dog, 8941 Atlanta Ave., Burbank, CA 91507 • Jade Tree, 2310Kennwynn Rd., • RLD, 219 Spring St., Huntington Beach, CA 92646 • Dirtnap, 2615 SE Clinton St., Wilmigton, DE 19810 Red Bank, NJ 07701 • Wood Shampoo, PO Box 27801, Portland, OR, 97202 • Jonnycat, PO Box 82428, • Rock N Roll Purgatory, PO Box 276258, Las Vegas, NV 89126 • Disturbing Music, PO Box 6061- Portland, OR 97282 San Antonio, TX 78227 • YepRoc, PO Box 4821, Chapel Hill, NC 398, Sherman Oaks, CA 91413, www. • Jumberlack, 494 W. Clay Ave., • Rodent Popsicle, PO Box 1143, 27515-4821, www.yeproc.com disturbingmusic.com Muskegon, WI 49441 Allston, MA 02134 “This guy does stuff like eat Send all zines for review to: Razorcake, breakfast with his parents, PO Box 42129, LA, CA. sell drugs, tries to shove Please include a postal address (that’s how we his dick in a bong, almost trade), the number of pages, gets raided by cops, eats a the price, and whether or hamburger and watches his not you accept trades. friend get punched in the eye.” (410 JESSE ST.)

AVOW #21, $2, editor, Cheryl, just seems so frickin’ Agnostic Front, and the F.U.’s. If FAT IS BEAUTIFUL, 8½” x 5½”, copied, 30 pgs. nice. She interviews without guile. you are “hardcore-obsessed”—and $?, 5” x 8”, copied, 44 pgs. On the cover and in the introduction She seems so excited and willing to I know that you are—go ahead and This zine helps expose a lot of Keith claims that this is the worst listen (and shares a no-bake peanut mail Phillip Knowles about the next false premonitions that folks might issue of AVOW ever. And while butter cookie recipe). And it’s this issue. He seems like a really nice have in regards to fat people (hey, I haven’t read every issue, I can niceness and openness in Blah guy who loves music and wants to the zine tells me to call them that). soundly say that this one is not as that won me over. Because when strengthen the scene in any way he Covered are health issues, false good as the other ones I’ve read. someone’s friendly from the get- can. –Daryl (Philip Knowles, 240 assumptions people have about fat But I like Keith’s honest-as-hell go, the little stuff (like punctuation Spring Hill Dr. #210, Roselle, IL people, quotes from folks about fat approach to the world and it’s not and grammar not being aces) slides 60172-2470) people, essays on the subject and a like this issue is total shit. If you’re on by and you sit on some grade- list of resources of subjects related a fan of the past issues, nothing A interesting conversations. For EAVES OF ASS #5, $2 or trade, to being fat: art, politics, health and should stop you from picking this me, the jewel of this issue is the 7¼” x 4¼”, copied, 44 pgs. ¿WQHVVERG\LPDJHIRRGDQGGLHWLQJ up. –Daryl (Keith Rosson, 1426 SE ¿UVW VHFWLRQ RI D ORQJ LQWHUYLHZ This time around Craven takes on and so on. Much of the material in 25th #3, Portland, OR 97214) with Mike Watt, where he pulls out the annual Autonomous Mutant here was honest and fair and helped irrefutable nuggets like, “I think Festival—he goes out to the to expose many of the prejudices BITCH #33, $5.95, 8½” x 10½”, dancing came back with disco and woods, takes drugs, gets drunk, that fat people go through in their offset, bleached newsprint, full around the same time punk… pogo. gets festive, gets frustrated at the daily lives. Having family members color cover, 96 pgs. One was pretty people. One was possible ecological damages being who are fat, this was a good eye- Aptly subtitled as the “feminist ugly people.” And it’s this simple wreaked on the forest by everyone opener for me to understand what response to pop culture,” Bitch directness (and good life advice) tromping through it and leaving their lives are like and how they takes things that I may not have that makes me give Blah a thumbs trash everywhere, gets disillusioned might feel on a regular basis. –Kurt really thought about, peels back up. –Todd (No postal address: with what sounds to me like a Morris (Crystal Hartman, 301 N. 5th the skin, and exposes, through myspace.com/theblahzine) judgmental gathering of a bunch St., Columbia, MO 65201, crystal_ theory and practice, a much needed of noncommittal, dropped-out, [email protected]) interpretation of the world around us. CELEBRITY PETS #3, $2 privileged, idiotic hippies. But again, Some of it’s a little lost on me—and or trade, 6½” x 8”, copied, 20 pgs. that’s this reviewer editorializing. GAINES STREET SAINTS #4, I think it’s perhaps because I don’t I’ve never been to Fresno, +HFRQWLQXDOO\WULHVWR¿QGPHDQLQJ $?, 8½” x 7”, copied, 44 pgs. watch that much television—like California, but I’ve often heard it in the gathering, trying to cull some Listen, Hank, editor-man, I’ll be the the decrying of a VW spokestoy/ described as the armpit of the state. sort of worth to it beyond a bunch ¿UVWWRWHOO\RXWKDW\RX¶UHJRLQJWR bot (and a warm remembrance of I don’t know how that affects or of marginally like-minded people get a bunk deal in this review—I’m softer, fuzzier VW commercials) applies to the folks there or their getting fucked up for a few days out not even gonna pretend to remotely ending with a call for jamming work, but it would appear that if LQ WKH ZRRGV &UDYHQ LV GH¿QLWHO\ understand or care about skinhead VW’s email boxes with cries of Celebrity Pets is any indication, one of those zine writers who is still culture, anti-racist or not. I don’t get wrong-headedness. That seemed a the quality of the zines isn’t a huge trying to write a zine, one who is “crews.” I can’t tell if you’re joking little weird: campaigning for and step above average. Upon seeing unafraid to tackle bigger issues than, when you say that you’re “Floridian against commercials. Yet, the bulk the title, my hope was that this was yeah, crushes and coffee, even if he by birth, skinhead by the grace of of Bitch is awesome—especially going to be a zine about pets that doesn’t do it terribly well sometimes. God.” I’m not bagging on you for in the longer pieces, where legs belong to celebrities. Alas, it was Pretty sure I’ve read every issue of any of it, I’m not saying it’s lame, DUHVWUHWFKHGDQGLGHDVDUHÀHVKHG not. Instead, it had generic, short EOA, and I’ve gotta say, this one’s but I just don’t get the draw. Coming out. My favorite parts of this issue: interviews with Love Equals Death, probably my least favorite. Certain from someone who’s gotten his ass a (bondage-laden) historic view Groovie Ghoulies, and the Pink things (the more than usual amount kicked by jocks and rednecks more of Wonder Woman comics, the Spiders. There were some album of typos, repetitive sections, etc.) than a few times, a lot of what I see uncomfortable bed-partnering of reviews and fashion tips amongst really just made me feel like there regarding skins, even anti-racist VH[ OLWHUDOO\¿OPHGDQGVWUHDPHG  other things, but this issue was quite was something rushed about this ones, totally smacks of thuggery, and environmentalism, and the boring and tired. Maybe it’s not that issue, that it was put out somewhat pulling the same gang-mentality empowerment piece about girls different than what I’ve heard about prematurely and could have used bullshit that bros and cowboys have in self-defense training. Tons of Fresno after all. –Kurt Morris (PO another edit or two. Regardless, been pulling on me for years. So, reviews, to boot. Bitch is smart, fun, Box 28211, Fresno, CA 93729) Craven’s still is one of them writerly with the heavy skinhead slant to and comes highly recommended. writers, and EOA is still one of those GSS, it’s pretty much a given that –Todd (1611 Telegraph Ave., Ste. CLENCH #1-8, free, rare breeds: a personal zine that’s I’m not gonna care for it all that 515, Oakland, CA 94612) 8½” x 11”, copied, 1-2 pgs. continually trying to step above the much. Inside, there’s interviews Clench is a single photocopied watermark of vapid, half-sensical with various Florida oi bands, with BLAH ZINE, THE #2, ?$, 5½” x page—front and back—intended emo-meanderings and cookie nearly every band being asked the 8½”, photocopied, 26pgs. for the “hardcore-obsessed.” Each recipes. –Keith (Craven, Rock, PO exact same questions, like Hank just I say this with all niceness and issue discusses a different band. Box 20692, Seattle, WA 98102) sent out a mass email and printed sincerity: The Blah Zine embodies Some of the bands blessed with an the answers from the bands that all the great qualities of naivety. Its issue dedicated to them are: Void, responded. There are also dozens of apparently unedited questionnaires month. So, in a word or four: still fecund DIY scenes we have going, anniversary of Slug & Lettuce. from various women in the area awesome, still essential. May they The Rise is waiting to give you a And yet, without fail, it is another about why they’ve joined a roller continue to introduce and inspire ¿UP KDQGVKDNH DQG ZHOFRPH \RX beautiful issue. Yeah, the layout is derby league and why they like it, a generations and generations of to their scene. Excellent. –Todd (PO the same, but the writing is fantastic short article about a counter-protest young whippersnappers to this Box 1794, San Pedro, CA 90733) and the columns are all really to a racist rally that was supposed to whole punk thing. –Keith Rosson interesting. This issue they cover take place, and lots of fuzzy photos. (MRR, PO Box 460760, SF, CA SECOND WIND #6, such things as one columnist going It’s cut and paste, which I’m for 94146-0760) $2, 5½” x 8½, offset, 36 pgs. to Antarctica, a European tour from an aesthetic standpoint, but So Second Wind’s a skate zine out journal from the band Requiem, the typewriter-font-on-a-white- POWER MACHINE, $2.50 or of New Mexico, put together by Ecopunk Mike stating that “There’s background shtick was totally trade, 7¼” x 5½”, copied, 28 pgs. a woman and covering women’s a point in everyone’s evolution boring. It’s only the fourth issue, so Zine put out by one Hannah skateboarding almost exclusively. where the heart is bigger than the hopefully this guy will try to pose Potassium, documenting her Granted, I’m an outsider—haven’t mind” and the implications that go some more interesting questions struggles with the concepts of skated in years and sucked when I with that, house show etiquette, and to the bands he interviews, and try privilege, patriarchy, and sexism she did—so I could be waaaay off on much more. There are also a ton to make the layout a little more encountered while being one person P\PDWKHPDWLFVEXW,¿JXUHSURSV of zine, book, and music reviews. interesting. As for my little blurb among many to create and live in an should be given for covering and If any other zine tried to get away about skinheads, well, it looks like ill-fated squat in Emeryville. The promoting a sport and culture that with just having columns and some I’ve fallen victim to editorializing writing’s a little stiff at times (there’s in many ways seems pretty heavily reviews, I’d probably hate it, but once again. Fuck. –Keith Rosson copious amounts of footnotes, a dude-centric. The zine’s almost S&L makes it work every time. (GSS, PO Box 3411, Tallahassee, bibliography, etc.), coming across a entirely photos (and mostly well- –Kurt Morris (PO Box 26632, FL 32315-3411 bit too dry and academic for me, but done photos at that), with plenty of Richmond, VA, 23261-6632) she’s tackling some issues here that captions and a random paragraph LOLLIPOP #69, are, by their very nature, mired in here and there regarding certain SPIDDER #10, $5, 7” x 7”, free, 11” x 8½”, glossy, 80 pgs. lots of gray areas, so I guess it makes competitions. The rest of the zine is, hand silk-screened cover, Weird, Lollipop’s fashioned like one sense. I guess the main bummer essentially, made up of a review or photocopied, with a 7”, 32 pgs. of those truck magazines—one of about it all was that Hannah was the two, and ads. It’s a quick read, and I Small town desperation and boredom WKRVHPDJVZLWKDVZHHWDVVÀDPH one who found the squat, cleaned it could have done without the energy can bring out the worst in folks— jobbed jalopy with some woman in up (mostly by herself), and slowly drink and cell phone advertisements, small-headedness, celebrated a bikini draped suggestively over found herself living with a shit-ton but I guess you’ve got to take your ignorance, and regression. It can it, you know what I mean? Except, of people in this squat, the majority print-revenue where you can get it. also bring out the best in folk—the get this: it’s for metal dudes. I of whom didn’t really care for her –Keith (Second Wind, 2311 Stevens blossoming of creation out of what mean, seriously, Lollipop’s pages at all, whom she was continually Dr. NE, Albuquerque, NM 87112) would most consider “absolutely are peppered throughout with at odds with. If you’re interested fucking nothing.” And that’s what these fashion sections that show in squatting, or discussions about SHIT!, TURD TALES & STOOL Spidder and the accompanying supposedly “real rock” women the use (or misuse) of words like STORIES, $1 or trade, 5½” x 8½”, Rise Up Howling Werewolf 7” is LQ WKHVH FUD]\ DVV IRUP¿WWLQJ “community” and “safe spaces,” copied, 32 pgs. all about. It’s an examination of “a RXW¿WVGRFXPHQWLQJWKHLUOLNHVDQG check this one out. Granted, there’s Shit! is a collection of twenty-one place where nothing ever happens,” dislikes ala Playboy, and listing only one person’s side being stories that all have to do with where there are heavy forces in their Myspace or web addresses. presented in a zine like this, but if feces and the bodily functions that place (culture, family, jobs) that Beyond that, there’s interviews she’s to be believed, I feel really surround it. The stories range from make sure that it stays that way. with Bloodhound Gang, Nashville bad for her—starting something boring to obscene to disturbing to And not only is it a scream in the Pussy, Arch Enemy, etc. Lots of with a lot of hope and excitement, fucking hilarious. One of them had middle of cultural wilderness, it’s a nu-metal band photos, ads, and RQO\WRKDYHLWDOOHQGLQ¿OWKUXLQ me laughing for a good couple of beautiful testament to building your reviews. Musically, I’m into about DQG UHVHQWPHQW 'H¿QLWHO\ KDG PH days. I don’t know what else to say own home (culturally), wherever 0% of what they’re covering, and thinking about all the drawbacks about this zine; if you’re into poop you are. From the silk-screened I just couldn’t get over the creepy and positives to renting, squatting jokes and enjoy reading pretty cover (on the other side of a Life swimwear catalog aspect of it. and/or homeowning. –Keith humiliating stuff, go for it. It’s a cereal box), to the comics about a –Keith Rosson (Lollipop, PO Box (Hannah Potassium, PO Box 8363, fun way to kill some time. –Daryl penguin helping out a cat, to crude 441493, Boston, MA 02144) Emeryville, CA 94662, power- (Swimmer’s Ear, PO Box 2076, but effective drawings and the [email protected]) Maple Grove, MN 55311) SlackerOLNH VKXIÀLQJ RI +RZOLQJ MAXIMUMROCKNROLL :HUHZROI¶V FDQFHOOHG ¿UVW VKRZ #280, $4, 11” x 8½”, RISE AND THE FALL, THE SKYSCRAPER Summer 2006, to the ghost-like, home-recorded newsprint, 150? pgs. #7, free in L.A., 5½” x 8½”, $4.99, 8” x 10½”, glossy cover and sounds of that band, I can’t help but Does MRR really need to send out photocopied, cardstock cover, 52 pgs. printed pages, 120 pgs. feel like something special’s in my review copies any more? I honestly Cleanly and artfully laid out, sharply Another issue of the big, snazzy hands and my record player. It’s a doubt it, but bless ‘em anyway. written, and bursting with pride Skyscraper. Tons of features/ steal for $5. –Todd (Arkam, 1925 This time around we’re looking at (not prejudice) of hailing from San interviews (Built to Spill, Cursive, Hwy. 69, Savannah, TN 38372) interviews with Disconvenience, Pedro, CA, The Rise roots itself in Tortoise, etc.), reviews, and the Grupo Sub-1, Hjerte Stop, one of the rarest things in America like; all with nice photos and TRACK MARKS, Bill Daniel, Svartenbrandt, right now—a vibrant, awesome a quality layout. As with most $?, 5” x 8”, copied, ? pgs. Rosenbombs, and Up The Voltage, punk scene that thrives whether zines, some interviews were too This zine is devoted to stories and as well as band histories/articles you care about it or not. What’s long, others not long enough. poetry about trains. Most of the about APF Brigade and Desperate undeniably great is that San Pedro’s My only legitimate complaint is material only loosely relates to Bicycles, and recollections about punks are a diverse, overlapping that Skyscraper is almost too big. trains; a character heard one in the New Orleans. There’s also some EXQFKDQGWKLV]LQHUHÀHFWVWKDW² The reviews portion is especially background or found him/herself pretty extensive photo sections from this issue’s focus on artists, tumultuous. Perhaps making this standing next to some tracks. and the requisite columns, ad, the Early History of San Pedro bi-monthly instead of quarterly While that is a different take on reviews, etc. Maximum’s one of Punk, live reviews, to its update on would help make it easier to incorporating your primary subject those zines that it’s really easy to local happenings and eateries. So, if digest without feeling like such a matter into a zine that is based just kind of slough off and take you want to peek into the looking struggle. –Kurt Morris DURXQGDVSHFL¿FWRSLFLWZRXOG¶YH for granted, assuming it’ll always glass of the town that spawned the (www.skyscrapermagazine.com) been more interesting to read a zine be around. Which is actually kind Minutemen, where Bukowski’s about personal tales of riding the of crappy, considering how much widow currently resides (and gives SLUG & LETTUCE #87, rails. Sure, it may have been done effort and how many people it these folks the rights to reprint free in person or $1ppd, before, but it would’ve been far takes working together to get zines Chinaski’s poems), and is home to 11” x 15”, newsprint, 20 pgs. more interesting than what’s here like MRR and Razorcake out every one of the most potent real-time, Issue #87 marks the nineteenth now. The current way it’s set up, it’s 105 like reading poems and stories from and randomly colored pages that’s The guy seems like a cool dude, you out and lie and say that I love people who end up near Disney making me head that way, though. know, if a little withdrawn and self- baseball, but I don’t. Maybe it’ll World or live near it, but who never Best parts of the mag were the absorbed; if I had to say anything steep into me fully one day, but I actually go in and experience it. lengthy and decent interviews with about personal zines it’s the fact that can say this: I’ve come to the point They’re good to read about to a Anti-Flag, porn star Tera Patrick many of their writers aren’t so good in my life where I don’t mind it at point, but eventually I’d rather and her husband Evan Seinfeld, at drawing the correlations between all. I went to a Dodgers game this read about direct experiences with who slings the four-stringed axe their day to day troubles and the year. It was fun and six dollars. It the real thing. –Kurt Morris (Love of destruction in Biohazard, dude, world at large. Personal zines seem was like watching (million-dollar) Bunni Press, 2622 Princeton Rd., but actually comes across as, a lot more captivating when the ¿VKZKLOHFKDWWLQJZLWKJRRGIULHQGV Cleveland Heights, OH 44118) shockingly, not a moron. There are words within address the writer’s DQG HDWLQJ SHDQXWV ,¶OO HYHQ ¿QG also decent interviews with Atom struggles and the impact or response myself zoning out and watching it UNDERWORLD CRAWL #4, from Armalite and Henry Rollins. of the outside world. Otherwise, it’s on TV for the simple reason that it’s $1, 4” x 5½”, copied, 40 pgs. There are oodles of reviews, ads, just sheer solipsism, which means not insulting my intelligence, it’s $W¿UVW,KDWHGWKLVEHFDXVH,KDWH little half-page blurbs about bands, you’ve got to be one fuck of a good free to watch, and I don’t know the cynical personal zines, but then my all that stuff. I mean, it’s a quality writer to pull off an interesting zine. ending after a minute of viewing. day got shittier and I remembered publication for sure, and obviously Hopefully the guy behind Flavor But, you know, Zisk—from the that I fuckin’ love cynical personal people are into it, but I just don’t Country won’t consistently resort to pure force of its enthusiasm and its zines. If you’ve ever wondered really align myself or connect with VXFKV\PEROLFDOO\ODGHQ¿FWLRQDQG undiluted joy—makes me want to KRZ+ROGHQ&DXO¿HOGZRXOGUHDFW a lot of the music they’re covering self-conscious personal anecdotes like baseball more, to understand to taking his car to the dealership and can’t see myself ever picking in the next issue, because there’s what the hell they’re talking about WRJHWWKHJRGGDPQWKLQJ¿[HG\RX this up again. –Keith Rosson some promise here. –Keith Rosson sometimes. And, for the love of should probably get ahold of this (Verbicide c/o Scissor Press, PO (Kurt Morris, 8820 Stone Ave. N. stuff I have no idea about, but the and carry it around in your back Box 382, Ludlow, VT 05149) #301, Seattle, WA 98103) curiosity to follow things that are pock like you did with Catcher well written, Zisk excels. I learned in the RyeZKHQ\RXZHUH¿IWHHQ WELCOME TO FLAVOR WHILE I WAS HIGH, $1 or the following from this issue: –Daryl (R. Lee, PO Box 1421, COUNTRY #8, free, trade, 5½” x 8½”, copied, 24 pgs. players actually put Superballs into Oshkosh, WI 54903) 8½” x 5½”, copied, 48 pgs. This is a collection of thirteen their bats to make them hit further. What we’ve got here is something stories that happened to people Huh. I’m still wondering if the VERBICIDE #17, $3.95, that, for all intents and purposes, while they were stoned. They can balls were whole or shredded, and 11” x 8½”, newsprint, 84 pgs. really comes across as a personal be funny sometimes, but they can how they got jammed in there, but, This one’s been around for a long zine that’s in its infancy, but as the also be pretty dumb. Sometimes more importantly, this zine kept me WLPH\HWWKLVLVWKH¿UVWLVVXH,¶YH title says, this is apparently the 8th stoners really bore me with all their curious about a topic I know close ever read. Revoke my reviewing issue, so I don’t know. The writing drug talk. –Daryl (Swimmer’s Ear, to zilch about and they invited me to OLFHQVHDWZLOOWKDW¶V¿QHVerbicide is fairly stiff and self-conscious PO Box 2076, Maple Grove, MN stay ‘til the end of the game. –Todd seems to be covering stuff that’s a “woah is me” fare, the layout is 55311, [email protected]) (801 Eagles Ridge Rd., Brewster, kind of merging of the ages-old spit super rough, consisting of nothing NY 10509) and razorblades of MRR, and the more than pages upon pages of text ZISK #13, 7” x 8½”, “safe but still hot” coverage of, say, with the occasional magazine photo photocopied, 18 pgs. Spin. Maybe it’s just the glossy cover and text pasted at the end of pieces. Oh, man, I wish I could just come covers, and the near total lack of information anywhere other than an excerpt pasted on the back, this one reeked of a self-published GPFGCXQT0QVVJCVVJCVŏUDCFCVCNNō+ŏOPQV sure why I have higher expectations for self- published books than I do zines, but it’s there regardless. I guess it’s because you can forgive a writer certain transgressions when they’re just putting out something that’s twenty or VJKTV[ RCIGU YJGP [QW IGV KPVQ VJG  page range, the decisions a writer makes can really start to wear on you. That said, Blind is a pretty good book. It documents a few months in the life of a young $C[#TGC5*#42 5MKP*GCFU#ICKPUV4CEKCN Prejudice) named Bryant. I’ve always felt that punk and its various offshoots are so goddamn JCTFVQſVKPVQſEVKQPYTKVGTUTWPVJGTKUMQH either glossing over certain things to make the whole wacky “punk” thing more palatable or compartmentalized, or they write about it in such an insular fashion that only kids already Americanjism #1-3 to kids (the son, Grownkidman, is given well-immersed in the scene will know what “Americrack” to help him focus in school.) the fuck you’re talking about. It’s the same, I By Joe Denney, 112 pgs. ea. assume, with skinhead culture, but Rodriguez The three graphic novels that compose the It’s supposed to be a pointed satire of and does a deft job of showing us the basics tenets entirety of Americanjism must’ve taken years diatribe against the double standards and of an anti-racist skin’s “customs” or core to complete; there’s over three hundred pages duplicity inherent in government, religion, and beliefs without treating the reader like he or of story here, full of exquisitely rendered Americana itself. Unfortunately, Denney tries, she is a fucking imbecile. illustrations that at times have an insane amount over and over again, to go for some kind of Another thing I appreciated was Bryant’s of detail thrown in ‘em. From an illustrator’s belly laugh but fails to recognize that, at least struggle that came with the divisiveness of perspective, this guy’s on top of his game: to this reader, there’s not a whole lot that’s immersion in a subculture: the dichotomy there’s the aforementioned detail, the blending funny about a mom sucking off her son. (Or That’s right, there’s a whoooole lot of dude-chowder DGKPIſTGFQHHin these 300-plus pages.

between that sense of pride in belonging to of accurate, lifelike backgrounds and locales dad and daughter, mom-dad-and-daughter, something larger than yourself, tempered with mixed with the odd-looking but consistently- brother and sister, etc. Take your pick; it’s all the danger of becoming just another yes-man drawn characters. You never get the feel that here.) There are quasi-psychedelic passages to what the doctrine says is right. Rodriguez you’ve suddenly stepped into a different comic in the book, lots of tirades about God and also does a great job of introducing us to the because the guy’s style suddenly changes; he’s “reality,” at which time some member of the other major players in the book: Bryant’s best always visually consistent, and the whole family will take drugs, nearly die or in some friend Eddie, Phil, the skin that originally project is obviously a labor of love and lot of form or another be sent to the astral plane, only got him into the scene, his girlfriend Lori, hours. And I imagine he really feels like he’s to come back to this reality so the whole drugs- Mark, the leader of the crew of racist skins, making a statement with this thing. sex-and-stupidity trip can start all over again. etc. Bryant’s a likeable character, smart and Unfortunately, the statement is ultimately Like I said, this man can draw, and there questioning and, most importantly, fallible and rendered moot, due to the fact that the bulk of is some kind of story being told here, but believable. The story moves along fairly well; Americanjism alternates between incredibly Americanjism fails so miserably as a whole I don’t want to give a lot away, but when Eddie disturbing and absolutely, mind-numbingly by relying solely and repeatedly on visually dies after getting jumped by a crew of black stupid. “taboo” shock tactics and barbed dialogue to kids, it instigates a chain of events that really The story follows the McRonalds, a prove its point, rather than trying to utilize jumpstarts the plotline. Like I said before, it “quintessential American family.” A father, good storytelling, pacing, and some kind, was a good read: I’ve really got no interest in mother, son, and daughter. I won’t even really get any kind, of emotional resonance. I mean, into the story, because it’s convoluted, scattered, I never cared for any of the characters at all, UMKPJGCFEWNVWTGYJCVUQGXGT5*#42QTPQV but I was hooked on Blind pointless, and mostly just serves as an excuse for never cared what happened, and never once YKVJKPVJGſTUVHGY pages. There’s something to be said for writing Denney to draw a lot of tits and cocks squirting really felt like the story was going anywhere. that can do that to someone. jizz. That’s right, there’s a whoooole lot of dude- All told, Americanjism is over three hundred pages of dirty pictures that tries desperately Still, there are a few things I really don’t get EJQYFGTDGKPIſTGFQHHKPVJGUGRNWURCIGU about Blind and its author: how someone who’s There’s also copious amounts of blowjobs, to make a point and simply winds up choking obviously such a good writer, who’s managed buttfucking, cunnilingus, drug use (intravenous on its own cynicism, obviousness, and lack of heart. –Keith Rosson (Pipe Dream Comics, PO to craft a novel that I actually read in about a CPFQVJGTYKUG HCEKCNUQTIKGUCPFſUVKPICOQPI day, can fall victim to such basic errors as poor other gems. Some form of incest (sometimes $QZ5CI*CTDQT0; grammar and spelling. I don’t know if Rodriguez with the whole family involved! Yay!) seems to Blind didn’t have anyone edit the manuscript, or if QEEWTCDQWVGXGT[ſXGQTUKZRCIGU whoever edited the novel didn’t catch the errors I mean, I guess I get what this guy’s going By K. Rodriguez, 254 pgs. either, but they’re weird ones, glaring ones that for—the story is loosely based, among other *CXKPITGXKGYGFOQTGVJCPCHGYPQXGNU are shockingly easy to spot. things, around the hypocrisy of religion (the for Razorcake by now, I feel like I’ve gotten I mean, “eachother” is not a word, it’s two father is a hard-sinnin’ minister), abortion fairly good at spotting a self-published or words. This shows up over and over and over (the daughter’s already had a drive-up POD (print on demand) book when I see one. again throughout the novel. “McBortion”), and giving drug prescriptions And from its heavy use of Courier font on the 108

Another quick example: “Nothing.” she Manchild 2, The Second Coming Skate and Destroy: The First Twenty- tells me. There’s supposed to be a comma By Brian Walsby Five Years of Thrasher Magazine there, dude, not a period. Grammatical errors You gotta love a book with a cover Edited by Jake Phelps, 288 pgs. like this are placed repeatedly throughout the depicting Jesus stage diving, an image that If you rode a skateboard in the 1980s, book, probably during ninety percent of the perfectly encapsulates the mix of sacred and then you read Thrasher magazine. It’s as dialogue. I mean, honestly, it wouldn’t matter profane that make up its contents—biting simple as that. From ‘85-‘89 I worshipped to me in the slightest if it was just here and commentary on personal life and punk at its altar. When you’re a teenage skate there, but Rodriguez has written the entire UQEKGV[FGRKEVGFKPCPQVJGTſPGUGVQHHWPP[ punk in a very small hick town, the chance novel like that, and it’s as jarring the 705th comics by the infamous Brian Walsby, a to read and learn about what the skate scene VKOGCUKVKUVJGſTUV musician and artist whose scene cred runs was doing in the outside world was big deal. The other slight complaints I’ve got is that longer than Demi Moore’s career. The bulk I learned tricks, I learned style, I discovered there are moments in the plotline when the of this collection is from more recent years, bands, and I realized that I was far from veneer of believability seems to get stretched a but the wit and signature style he developed being alone out there. little thin; everyone seems to either be related in the pages of Flipside and MRR back Well here we are in 2006 and Thrasher to or live on the same block as someone else, KP VJG ŎU CNVJQWIJ OQTG TGſPGF KU UVKNN JCUVWTPGFVYGPV[ſXGCPFKUUVKNNIQKPIUVTQPI which could work in a small town setting, but readily apparent. We’re treated to more I honestly don’t read it anymore, but my we’re talking about the Bay Area, you know? installments of “If Brian Walsby was Brian crippled ass can barely skate now anyways, And the ending wraps up a little too nicely. I Wilson,” scattered tales of dealings with so what are ya gonna do? The book itself is understand that that’s how people often want punk’s more “famous” purveyors, tributes beautiful. The color, the art, the photos… it’s VJGKTſEVKQPVQTGCFCNNVJGVJTGCFUVKGFWRDWV to his favorite bands and heroes, and some all still so breathtaking. The thing that set the way it was handled was just a little too serious skewering of “The Scene” and all of Thrasher apart was its idea that skating was precise. But I guess I can’t get much more its ridiculous hypocrisies and contradictions, more than a pastime—it’s a lifestyle—and URGEKſEYKVJQWVIKXKPIVJGUVQT[CYC[ as well as more personal stuff about his life VJCVXKDGƀQYUVJTQWIJQWVVJKUVQOG Still, when looking at the comparative and living it in Raleigh. The super-serious What I think the book is missing is more FGUGTV VJCV KU SWCNKV[ RWPM ſEVKQP CPF CNN QH CPF×DGTUGPUKVKXGYKNNPQFQWDVſPFOWEJ history and stories told by those who were its sub-genres, it’s best to not get too fucking to upset them—again what doesn’t get their there. You know, some crazy shit was going picky. Because despite these critiques (the panties in a bunch?—but those with a good on behind the scenes and I, for one, would ITCOOCT CPF URGNNKPI ECP GCUKN[ DG ſZGF KP sense of humor and don’t approach punk have loved to read some of those accounts. a subsequent edition), Blind really is good with a reverence that rivals the shroud of There isn’t enough writing and the stuff that is and well worth reading. I, for one, hope that 6WTKPYKNNſPFUVWHHNKMGő/QUV*GCX[/GVCN there is kind of all over the place. 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