CHRISTMAS 19

I • ••••• I . THE MUELLER RECORD Vol. XI DECEMBER, 1922 No. 139 • • • • •• • • • • • I

ness by stroking a loved head, by which you telegraph through a clasp of the hand your EDITORIAL friendship and fidelity to those you like and love. Think of the armless and paralytics. You have a mind to develop that you may enjoy all these things and through culture A Merry Christmas! "Bah," as old many thousands of others. Think of the Scrooge said, "what have YOU got to be feeble-minded who live a life of black unen- lightenment. merry over?" And then by reason of all these simple, Such was the spirit of Old Scrooge, and natural gifts you have an inheritance that such is the spirit of his descendants who money cannot buy or man create an in- have yet to attain his conversion which made heritance \vhich makes you a man among him see and enjoy the glories of this day. men an inheritance which enables you to What have YOU got to be merry about ? labor in your chosen field, to hold your head Why, dear fellow traveler and toiler wending high and face your God with a consciousness your uncertain way from the cradle to the of having used and appreciated the gifts He grave, you have so many daily blessings bestowed upon you. that you never can be merry enough to pay Why should YOU be merry at this glad your debt to nature. Christmas time? You have the golden memory of your child- Shame the thought that prompts the hood; of your youth with bright days of querry. deeds and hopes; of star-lit, lilac nights of Keep in mind the fact that the biggest and love and romance; of a true companion and best capital is I its development means suc- a peaceful home; of prattling babes and cess. sturdy children. The memory of these is sufficient in itself Be a good sport; there is just as much to make you merry, but there are other fun in business and work as in any other simple things in life over which you should contest it's just a game play it fair and rejoice. square if you want to win. You have the birthright of an American citizen that means lots to you compare Don't be ashamed of your position be it with the birthright of the Russian or the ashamed of yourself for occupying it if you German of today. are capable of filling something better. You have health, which enables you to enjoy life and provide for the comfort and Big Industry makes opportunities for ad- happiness of those loved ones dependent vancement. The claim that there is no upon you. Think of the invalid and the help- chance for a man nowadays is the claim of less cripples. the man who will not take advantage of his You have eyes to see the face of those chances. Judge Gary of the United States dear to you, to view the marvels nature lav- Steel Corporation points out 1 0 prominent ishly spreads out each day, to scan the officials in that organization who started as printed page of prose and poetry which laborers, errand boys, etc. If you did not bring you in close communion with the minds have a chance last year you may have one of all nations and all peoples of all ages. this year. Be alert to grasp it. Think of the blind who dwell in perpetual darkness. Don't you be afraid that you will work You have ears to hear the loved voice of yourself to death. For every man who works mother, sweet heart and wife, the songs of himself to death 10,000 die from lack of the birds, the purling brook, the sonorous exercise, late hours, overeating. boom of the ocean, the soft sweet-scented winds of summer, the hoarse but not un- kindly gales of winter, the lightest and the loudest sounds of any kind. Think of the deprivation of the deaf. You have a nose that brings to your senses A the langorous odor of beautiful flowers, of fields fresh with growth of grains and blos- a nil soms. Think of those afflicted souls who do not realize this wonderful privilege. You have the sense of touch with which you can communicate your love and tender-

* THE NEW RECREATION BUILDING •••••••••••••••••«••.••*••.••****••.••••••••••*••*••••••<••*••*••*••*••*•.*•.*•.*

This is the first picture of our new recre- 1 2 feet in size, giving the best of light and ation hall to be built at Monroe and Cerro ventilation. The entire gym is to have pol- Gordo streets. Architects Aschauer & Wag- ished maple floor and laid out for indoor goner are working on the plans which pro- basket-ball, handball, volley-ball, etc., and a vide for the completion of the building some full line of gymnasium equipment. time next spring. The dining room wing will be 54 feet by And this will add another important link 88 feet, containing 4,732 square feet of floor to the means provided for recreation of em- space, with kitchen 18 feet by 30 feet all ployes. It is something we have talked and fitted up in most modern cafeteria style. The dreamed about during the past two years entire dining room will have concrete floor and, owing to our growth, is a thing which and be equipped with long tables with white cannot be longer postponed. We have glass tops and suitable chairs. At the west reached the point where we have insufficient end of the dining room there will be a stage room for the every day needs of employes, for speaking, motion pictures, etc. The no meeting place large enough for a gath- building is so arranged that the gym and ering of the force. On big occasions it is dining room can be combined in one, thus necessary to go down town for such affairs giving accommodations for large crowds. as the Children's Christmas party, when we The men's rest room in the basement will all know that a better spirit of fellowship be entered from the main entrance to build- would develop were we to hold these affairs ing on Monroe street. It will be fitted with in our own recreation hall. showers, lockers, wash room, and toilets. The arrangements provide for better ac- The rest room for the ladies is on the second commodations for the noon-day lunch, and floor balcony above the entrance to the promise an opportunity for better physical building. development by reason of a first-class gym- The entire building will be practically two nasium. stories in height, all spanned by steel trusses The building will be located at .the corner with a clear height of 1 8 feet under trusses. of North Monroe and West Cerro Gordo It will be of reenforced brick and concrete streets. The lot is "L" shaped with I 46 construction with large window openings be- feet on Monroe, and 1 20 feet depth to the tween piers. The roof will be arch-shape alley on the west. The gym proper occupies with red asphalt roofing. The exact cost of the corner with a width of 60 feet on Cerro the building is not yet determined upon, but Gordo and 90 feet on Monroe street, and it will be strongly and substantially built and contains 5400 square feet of floor space be- the equipment throughout will be strictly up- sides a balcony running along the east side to-date. Work on the building is to be I I feet by 90 feet with seating capacity for started as soon as materials can be ordered, 250. The gymnasium will be fully equipped and will be ready for occupancy by spring. and modern in every respect and also will HIGHER FINANCE contain two standard bowling alleys. The A bank in a small town in North Dakota sent: entire space will be covered with trusses, a Swede depositor a notice of overdraft by mail. giving unobstructed floor space and an I 8 "Ole" didn't exactly understand what it was all about, and upon meeting the cashier on the foot ceiling under the trusses. The windows street a few days later produced the notice and will be 6 feet from the floor and 1 7 feet by offered his check to cover. John Donovans 1 fn>Ghost Stor\

(ORIGINAL)

"You don't believe in ghosts, do you? Of course not, but I do or did and would still had it not been for a black torn cat." so gruesome and nerve-wracking that a And the story strong man trembled upon hearing it espe- could be made as cially after dark. weird as Poe's "Black Cat" were there some- And finally the last and generally accepted one to put in the freezing frills to polarize the versio.__n. wa,r_s tha.,.,_t th_e unfortunat„„. ,ULVe, woma„_„.n. i„n, blood as he did. There is bad luck in every her dying moment had raised herself from hair of the ebony fur and each green eye of her bed, and pointing an avenging finger at a black cat. Any school boy or school girl Black Tom, whispered: with a grandmother who has lived in a "As a black cat I'll haunt you and this secluded spot will tell you so, and you can t valley unti..l eternity.. " prove it's untrue. So much for that. The people of that Fate decreed that as a youngster I should valley told this story live for several years in Missouri and being year in and year out un- just as inconsiderate as fate as a rule is, the til they believed it and decree carried with it a home in the hills, every black cat was re- remote, lonely and depressing in the extreme. ferred to as "Mrs Black It was unnecessary to sit around until mid- Tom's Ghost." night waiting for a ghost to appear. You We sat around the could find a ghost or have ghostly thoughts fire one night near any hour in the open light of the day. If Christmas time and all the earth ever offered the opportunity for of the limited neighbor- a monopoly on ghosts it was that evil, lone- hood gossip about Bill's some spot in Missouri I'll tell the world shoats, Jack's corn and that—and argue the question to a 1 9th my uncle's trip to St. amendment. Louis that summer had Just why all these opportunities to relate been worn threadbare. Outside the wind sough- blood-curdling ghost stories should be re- ed through the leafless served until bed time 1 never have yet been branches. It moaned able to understand. Perhaps it's just ghost and sobbed, and, rising, ethics, or because writers of imagination in whistled and shrieked all ages have associated midnight's blackest and then momentarily hour with wraiths, banshees, ghosts and rest- died away in a long less spirits coming back to earth to right John Donovan mournful wail. The thin their wrongs, real or fancied, inflicted while crescent of a new moon they lived. hung in the western sky, and the big shep- Let it go at that. I'm not the apostle to herd dog, probably suffering with indiges- correct the error. There are too many apos- tion, wood ticks or mange, raised his voice ties on earth doing business anyway the in one long, quavering, blood-freezing howl. only ones with good reputations are dead. "That's a bad sign," said my grandmother, The night that Black Tom strode into his "a dog howling like that presages murder cabin less than a mile from where my folks or disaster of some sort." lived and where by reason of my boyish As the dog's voice died in one pitiful, years I was marooned, was remembered by moaning, long-drawn howl, the wind rose in all old timers as having been as black as a a furious shrieking onslaught that crept in hat, while outside the wind howled, moaned through every crevice, and made us shiver, and shrieked by turns. It was a night for It was all so doleful and depressing that murder and it proved to be a hideous mur- we drew closer to the fireplace, and my der. Th -Oman's body was found three grandmother picked me up and held me close day, ^^ s„ late_„r. an„..«dj. ibesid _• j e_ he\ __.r _ wa_.. si • . La—i _ littr .l i bab, e_ i. to. he_ r • c as,.i _ i_f the _ merr _ _et facr ti of• having me in deaaeada 0o1f starvation, or practicallpracticany so, fotor thtne hener armss meanut greaterr securitsecu y to her, or child did not survive. These are the bare perhaps she thought to me. facts of the murder from which the ghost My uncle filled his pipe, liguie.ghtedu it, gazed pfory grew. For years it was discussed, re- reminiscently at the big back log in the hashed, added to, enlarged and improved fireplace, blew a whiff of smoke to the ceil- upon until, told by an old settler, it became ing, meditated a moment, really felt or as- I -3 sumed an awe-stricken countenance, and as a warm spot on top of the chimney. It if stirred by his mother's remark, said: evidently got too hot and old Tom moved "Just such a night as this on which Black and fell into the flue. He hit the fire and Tom murdered his wife." that was still hotter than the top of the chimney. So just at the so-called psycho- And that's where the ghost story started. logical moment of Uncle Mike's story, Sir I'll give him the cake knife and tell him T homas let out his awful yowl when singed to cut wide and deep, and help himself to by the flame of the fireplace, and gave an the biggest piece. He certainly was at his unexpected realism to a ghost story. best, and ran all fifteen balls without chalk- It cured me of ghosts and Uncle Mike of ing his cue or making a miss. Where local telling ghost stories for the rest of his life. history or facts failed he supplied the trim- mings. His voice rose and fell with the wind BRASS CHIPS outside. He certainly out-did himself and W. R. Gustin and Bobbie Mueller made smashed all local records. No doubt he had several trips to Indianapolis on business. told the story a hundred times before, but Billy Mason got back December 13th from rome weird influence of the storm, or some Cincinnati, where he had been to superintend mental attitude of his hearers, made each the loading of some goods. one of us hang on every word. As he fin- Phil Mueller, works manager, is back on ished, that damnable dog again raised his the job after a month spent at the hunting voice in a long, despairing howl, and the lodge on the Okaw. wind moaned like a soul lost in the lowest Miss Helen Pound of the core room helped depths of hades. out in the advertising department during the It was a night when the elements in them- holiday rush. selves would try a man's courage. My grand- Fred Schulder, who is working on the new mother held me tighter and 1 remember catalog, left December 9th for New York to now looking into that aged face of chalky attend a meeting of a committee on standard- hue, and can feel her tremble as she held ization. Enroute back he stopped over in me in her arms. his home at Cleveland to visit with his family. Uncle Mike had certainly scored a touch- Ollie Marmor was called out of town sud- down. denly on account of the serious illness of "Yes, sir," he finished convincingly, "she her mother. said 'As a black cat I'll haunt you until Lydia Stroyeck visited in St. Louis during eternity/ inventory. Silence Ghostly silence. Every mind in Why is Charlie Adams always smiling at the little room dwelt on that concluding his work. Tell us, Charlie; there surely must sentence, and expectancy of some impending be a reason. evil was written on every face. The flame We wonder why some of the girls in the in the fireplace dwindled to an ember, the buffing row have mirrors on their machines. coal oil lamp on the mantle flickered as it Otis Wilkins has all the symptoms of being reflected moving, grotesque shadows and al- in love. Maybe it's indigestion either most went out. The wind rose and fell makes a man look sad. with its mournful cadence, and that darned When Jack Trotter goes out calling again dog joined in the requiem with one final he should be better informed as to the cor- effort to reach the gloomiest note in his reg- rect address. ister. He did. A number of the men in the grinding room The silence in the room was tense and are expecting to spend the Christmas holi- painful. Uncle Mike, somewhat swelled up days out of town. Relatives of others will over his ability to tell the right story at the visit them in Decatur. right time, reached into the fireplace for Georse Matthison will visit his relatives at another ember to light his pipe. Green Valley, 111. "And the poor creature said she would Odie Walker's mother and sister of Benton, come back as a black cat," he said. Mo., will visit him over the holidays. MEOW! YEOW! Y-E-O-W! Walter Drew will visit in Moweaqua. A huge black cat with green eyes that Dave Washburn's relatives will visit him looked as big as silver dollars darted out of from Atwood. the fire itself. My grandmother fainted and George Webber says he would like to go they picked Uncle Mike out of the farthest visiting, but he has to stay home to care for corner with a face whiter than it was when his guinea pigs. they later put him in his coffin, and the other Miss Helen Canavan is assisting Miss Par- members of the party were finally coaxed adee for a few days in the filing department. into the house from the barn lot the storm or the howling dog outside had no terrors HELP WANTED Nancy was saying her prayers. "And, please, for them. CiH," she petitioned, "make Boston the capital Me I'm no hero, when they all came of Vermont." to I was sittfng before the fireplace where "Why, Nancy!" exclaimed her shocked mother, "what made you say that?" my grandmother dumped me, holding our 'Cause I made it that way on my examination big black tom-cat somewhat singed, in my papers today and I want it to be right." arms. Exolained by daylight it was all very simple. The house was built low. It was The man who once most wisely said, "Be sure vou're right, then go ahead, the first cold night of the season; the cat: Might well have added this, to-wit: had climbed to the roof and finally found "Be sure you're wrong before you quit." days, rode horseback from one county seat WHERE LINCOLN to another, he was a frequent visitor to this old log court house when he was interested PRACTICED LAW in different litigation. It's only been a few years ago that one might meet up with old settlers who had Ida M. Tarbell, a wide- personal contact with Lincoln in those early ly known magazine writ- days, and many were the tales they told of er, recently spent several the uproarious fun in moments of relaxation. weeks in Decatur, gather- This log court house is not only an at- material for a Lincoln ar- traction of interest to local residents, but ticle which she is prepar- automobile tourists visit it by hundreds each ing. She visited all local summer. spots with which the great martyr was associ- ated, studied old news- GOOD REASON TO FAINT paper files, talked with An I rishman corning out. of ether in the ward after an operation exclaimed audibly: hundreds of people and "Thank God! That's over!" scrutinized court records, etc. "Don't be too sure," said the man in ihe next The Lincoln court house, as it is known bed, "they left a sponge in me and had to cut here, was visited. It is an attraction of me open again." And the patient on the other side said, "They deep interest to all admirers of Lincoln. It had to open me, too, to find one of their instru- occupies a spot in Fairview park, and has ments." been restored as nearly as possible to its Just then the surgeon who had operated on original condition. the I rishman stuck his head in the door and ye1 led, "Has anybody seen my hat?" This court house was built in 1 829, and Pat fainted. was used for years afterward. When dis- carded it was moved to a lot a short dis- VERY LIKELY TRUE tance away and was used as a stable. The fact that a building of sacred memory had Inspector—"Do you teach observation ? " Teacher- -"Yes." returned to such base uses was discovered Inspector—"Then I will test the class, Now, by Col. J. M. Clokey and he rescued it from children, shut your eyes and sit still." total loss, presenting it to the park commis- Following this the inspector made slow sioners. As a court house it occupied the whrstling sort of noise and followed with: "Now children, what did I do?" For some time there was no answer, but ul - timately one little boy piped out: "Kissed teacher."

BUT WHERE'S KENNEDY'S ARMS

southeast corner of the old square, now known as Lincoln Square. In those days and as late as the middle eighties, the old square was a sort of public wagon yard used by farmers when they came to the city to shop. Abraham Lincoln came to Ma con county with his parents and the Hanks, Johnson and other families who were early settlers Harold Kennedy is the new messenger boy. and grew into prominent people in the com- He's popular with the girls already. Look munity. This was in 1830-3 1 the year 01 into those smiling Irish eyes and you will the deep snow. The Lincoln family built understand why. That answers comes nat- a cabin near Harris town. Like many other urally and easily. early settlers, they did not buy the land. But answer the next one if you can. There was so much of it that it had little Where's Kennedy's arms. Has he mis- or no value. The Lincoln family simply placed them or are they in the proper place. "squatted" on as much of the land as they It is said the camera will not and cannot lie, wanted. Abe lived here about a year and and on the face of it Kennedy seems not then went further west in Illinois to New only to be in a suspicious pose, but the pic- Salem, situated in what is now known as ture convicts him of doing the wrong or Menard county. the right thing. Of course no one will blame In later years when he became a lawyer, Kennedy. Who could under such bewitch- and in accordance with the custom of those ing circumstances as he has been placed. CHRISTMAS CUSTOMS

Christmas observance and celebrations It faded on the crowing of the cock. differ according to the country and its peo- Some say, that ever 'gainst that season comes, ple. There are many and varied rites and Wherein our Savior's birth is celebrated, ceremonies, some so different from our ac- This bird of dawning sin get h all night long; ceptation of the right spirit that we can And then, they say, no spirit dares stir scarcely recognize them as a religious fes- abroad; tival glorifying and commemorating the birth The nights are wholesome; then no planets of Christ. In former years in Merry Eng- strike; land the event was in large degree a carousal No fairy takes, nor witch has power to charm, more than a festival. However, this may be, So hallow'd and so gracious is the time. a change has been wrought, and while many This passage seems to point to the story of England's ancient customs have been re- of the cock as a superstition and also indi- tained, they have softened to a degree which cates a very considerable superstition regard- makes the American and the English Christ- ing fairies, witches and all their ilk. mas very much alike. It is quite natural that when we think of Christmas day in old England according the bluff, hearty spirit of Christmas with its to the chroniclers was one of feasting gor- decorations of holly and mistletoe, its blaz- mandizing, more likely. There was the pea- ing yule-log, feasting, plum puddings, starry cock-pie, brought in by the fairest guest; nights and snow-enveloped earth, that we the boar's head placed upon the table with think of English customs, which we of this much pomp and splendor. Eating, songs, country have in large measure adopted. drinking and good cheer made up a day of Christmas is to thousands of people a seas- comradeship, friendliness, renewal of old ties on of deep religious significance, but to and happy associations. others it is only a time of merriment, of g'ft- And then came the wassail bowl with giving and good fellowship. While this is an equal show of pomp and cere- true, there are few in the world who com- mony. There must have been some heavy pletely escape the good influences which heads the day after Christmas for wassail the day brings. was a mixture of ale (or wine) flavored In pre-Christian days in Scandinavian with spices, sugar, apples, etc., and the un- countries the Yule-log was brought in with corrected appetites of our English ancestors p-reat rejoicing. That was a pagan rite but were unhampered by any constitutional in old England in Christian days it was one amendment. And if old chronicles are to of the gladdest and gayest of holiday fes- be believed, there were some very competent tivities. And then there was the custom appetites in those days. of the lighted candle, in the window, "shin- The climax of the day came with evening. ing like a good deed in a naughty world." Inequalities of fortune and station were The purpose of the candle was to send a swept aside as villagers trooped to the manor p-leam of Christmas cheer across the path house for the Christmas dance. The lord of any traveler who chanced that way. of the manor led with the prettiest girl of Later came the Christmas Eve custom of the village and the dancers kissed if they the filling the stocking, the gay trimming came beneath the mistletoe bough. Pres- and lighting of the Christress tree. In Eng- ently the mummers came and enacted a play l?>nd while these preparations were going on for the company, "Saint George and the the village waits, local musicians, gathered Dragon" being a great favorite. on the outside playing merry Christmas Later the "Lord of Misrule" and his as- tunes, and after them came the carol singers. Hstants appeared, their particular mission be- To Martin Luther, the reformer, is given ing to stir up more fun and see that the the honor of establishing the Christmas tree merriment did not flag. Custom. Walking beneath pine trees one From all these accounts it would seem frosty night at Christmas time, he was struck clear that our English ancestors not only by the beauty of the brilliant stars as seen made a day of it, but added a night for good through the boughs. He gathered a small measure. mruce and brought it indoors, and placed Undoubtedly there was a deal of bluff, lio-hted candles upon it to the glory of God. hearty joviality in those good old English A.nd this was the first Christmas tree, which days, and some of the customs in modified i° now so generally the symbol of the Yule- form have come down to us. Our celebra- tide season. tion has perhaps been refined to its advan- In England in the olden days it was be- 'pge but it has lost none of the real spirit lieved that a Christmas cock kept watch hour of Christmas. We still have our lighted hy hour to dr"ive away evil spirits that might candles in the window, our holly and mistle- be lurking about with his shrill voice crow- toe, our feasting and Christmas carols, our ing, Chris- Chris- Christmas is here. gift giving and good wishes, and in our Shakespeare's reference to this is interest- hearts the same old sentiment: ing. In the opening act of Hamlet the dis- appearance of the ghost upon the crowing PEACE ON EARTH; GOOD of the cock prompts Marcellus to say: WILL TOWARD MEN. WHEN RUTH SMILES GATE GUARDIANS

This picture of Ruth Three watchmen are on duty each day Chapman was taken for at the main entrance to the factory yard the purpose of putting and the principal entrances to the buildings. her on Matt Trott's "rat- They come to know practically every em- tler" shown on another ploye of the company and spot a new face page. Ruth belonged to like a marked card. the traffic department then, but when Marie Jack DeFratus (if any Treirweiler left us for the one ever called him John west, Ruth was moved up it was his Sunday School to the main office. Teacher) has charge of the The picture shows her door to the brass shop, and with that cheerful, good- is a familiar figure on Mon- natured smile which il- roe street. If some one is luminates her face a great part of the time. not "kidding" Jack, he is Isn't it a gorgeous smile. And don't it "kidding" some one. Muel- fit in nicely with Christmas day? It radiates ler employes may not know happiness which is something we all very it, but Jack is an expert much like to see especially at this season monument worker. Many but Ruth does not wait until Christmas to of the fine shafts in local spread her smiles—she spreads them through- cemeteries give evidence of out the year just natural with her. his mechanical ability as a stone carver. THOSE GOOD OLD DAYS AGAIN John Owens is stationed Someone is always talking about the "good at the main gate of the fac- old days" and telling us that this or that is tory yard and practically not what it used to be. We don't have every one in the plant the "gold old Christmas" of years ago, "men passes him at some time in the day. Being in the cen- are not what they used to be" and they ' don t do things the way they did in the good old ter of the property, em- ployes see him while com- days when I was a boy." ing and going to their Say, man, did it ever occur to you that work, while others meet they were making the same sort of a spiel him entering and leaving 330 B. C. Believe it or not! Well, just the yard. He keeps his read a selection from Aeschines attack on eagle eye on all but he's Demosthenes in his address to the Athenians: easy to get along with be- "Suppose a man should ask you at what time cause of his good nature. this state supported the most illustrious reputa- tion—in the present days or those of our ancest- ors? With one voice you would reply 'in the days The east section knows Robert Hoots best. of our ancestors.' At what time did the citizens He is at the Cerro Gordo street door while display the greatest merit—then or now? They were then eminent; now much less distinguished. employes are ringing in At what time were rewards, crowns, proclama- and out and the remain- tions, and public honors of every kind most fre- der of the day he is sta- quent— then or now? Then they were rare and truly valuable; then the name of merit bore the tioned at the College highest luster; but now it is tarnished and ef- street entrance. Hoots faced; while your honors are conferred by course looks like he might be and custom, not with judgment and distinction. exacting, stern and rigid, "Which think ye, was the most worthy citizen -—Thermistocles or this Demosthenes, who de- but he is like his two serted his post? Miltiades, or this man? The buddies whom he seldom chiefs who led back the people from Phyla? Aris- sees, pleasant and accom- tides, su manned the Just, a title quite different modating, and insists on from that of Demosthenes? No: by the powers of Heaven. I deem the names of these heroes too nothing but an observ- noble to mention in the same day with that of ance of the rules, which this savage." naturally eliminates all need of argument. Sic 'em, Aeschines. You certainly wagged a wicked tongue. Insofar as we know, you are the original champion of "the good old A little chap was offered a chance to spend days" but you have a lot of descendants a week in the country, but refused. Coax- —who, lacking your oratory, can only wail ing, pleading, arguing, promising of untold p nd weep for those "good old days" which wonders, alike brought from him nothing but they or no one else wants, except as a the stubborn ultimatum: "No country for memory. me I" "But why not?" some one asked finally. NOT SO FOOLISH AT THAT "Because," he responded, "they have Strange, isn't it, says an exchange, what crea- thrashin' machines down there, an' it's bad tures of habit we are? Many men still carry a corkscrew on their key enough here where it's done by hand." — ring, just out of habit. Interior. •••.•*..*••*••*••*••*••»•'*•'*••*••* The LITTLE CHURCH AROUND the CORNER

During a recent visit in New York the "THE LITTLE CHURCH 'ROUND THE CORNER" writer had the highly-prized opportunity of Bring him not here, where our sainted feet standing before "The Little Church Around Are treading the path to glory; Bring him not here, where our Saviour sweet the Corner," almost hidden as it is by the Repea Ls for us His story. big buildings in Tweny-ninth Street and ad- Go, take him where 'such things' are done—- For he sat in the seat of the scorner— jacent Fifth Avenue. It was made famous To where they have room, for we have none, in I 870 by an incident which gave to it its To "tha t little church 'round the corner." So spake the holy man of God, odd name. Nearly every one has heard of Of another man, his brother, it. Thousands of persons may not be able Whose cold remains, ere they sought the sod, Had only asked that a Christian rite to locate or call by name any other church, Might be read above them by one whose ligh t but they know of the "Little Church Around Was, "Brethren, love one another"; Had only asked that a prayer might be read the Corner," and thousands of visitors have Ere his Mesh went down to join the dead. considered it a privilege to merely stand on Whilst his spirit looked, with suppliant eyes, the sidewalk and look upon it. In reality, Searching for God throughout the skies; But the priest frowned "No," and his brow was it is the "Church of The Transfiguration." bare It is a low, rambling, picturesque brown Of love in the sight of the mourner; And they looked for Christ and found Him—where? structure, just a few paces from Fifth Ave- In "that little church 'round the corner." nue. This is the incident which gave to it Ah, well! God grant, when with aching feet We tread life's last few paces, the odd name and made it the object of deep That we may hear some accents sweet reverence among thousands of Americans: And kiss to the end, fond faces; God grant that this tired flesh may rest In 1870 George Holland died in New York. (Mid many a musing mourner), He was a man of excellent character, well While the sermon is preached and the rites are read, born, well bred, a student and an artist, but In no church where the Heart of love is dead, he was an actor. Mrs. Holland's sister ex- A nd the pastor a pious prig at best, But in some small nook where God's confessed— pressed a desire that the funeral be held Some "little church 'round the corner." from her own church, a fashionable place on Fifth Avenue. WHISTLE'S 'BOUT TO BLOW Joseph Jefferson (Rip Van Winkle) ac- companied by one of Mr. Holland's little Lons, went to the church to make the ar- rangements. The rector, upon being told that Mr. Holland in life had been an actor, said that under the circumstances he should have to decline holding services in the church. Holland's little son was in tears, and Mr. Jefferson, choking with indignation, asked if there was any other church close by from which his friend might have a Christian burial. "Oh, yes," replied the rector, "there is a little church around the corner where it might be done." 'Twas past midnight in the parlor "Then if this be so," said Jerferson, "may And he whispered soft and low:— God bless the little church around the cor- "The later that the hour grows' ner." The more I hate to go." And it was in this church that the rector, But a mother whispered hoarsely, Rev. Geo. H. Houghton, conducted the ser- "Clara, 1 should think you'd know vice. He continued as rector until his death That you've got to work this morning, in 1897, when he was succeeded by his son. And the whistle's 'bout to blow." The elder Houghton was revered and be- loved by the theatrical profession. From EXERCISE ASSURED this church hundreds of actors and actresses Doctor Friend: "Now that .you have a have been buried and many have been mar- car, you musn't neglect exercise." ried there. In fact the church has been Patient: "Oh! I shan't be able to; it's a largely supported by members of the pro- second-hand car." fession as a result of the Holland incident which at the time was told in song and verse. We wonder what's the matter with Shel- It inspired A. E,. Lancaster, a popular ton's chair ? Ray Sailsbery duplicated Shel- dramatist of the day, to write the following ton's downfall. Of course his feet didn't go verse: so high into the air. IN OLD "CINCINNAT" During November R. H. Mueller, W. R. Gustin GUESS IF YOU CAN and W. T. Mason visited Cincinnati to attend a sole of government machinery, and they made a few very advantageous purchases. Gus was in his element when it came to getting something Here are the pictures of for nothing. At lunch one day the two got into a place two popular young ladies where nothing but fish was served. Bobbie and of Dept. 8 when they were Mason took a dozen each on the half shell and about 8 years of age. Gustin said "same," but just where any one as dry as he. is learned that expression is one of They don't now bear I he unsolved mysteries. At any rate the waiter any resemblance to these d;d not understand and later delivered an order of frog legs. "1 did not order rabbit," said Gustin. "I t's not rabbit," said the waiter. "Guess 1 know rabbit," said Gus. "I killed one yesterday. Whether he discovered the difference Hy faste ;s not told, but Gus did go hun ting and he did kill a rabbit. It was fully 4 inches long pictures; oh, no, especially and 4 weeks old. The big strong rabbits had no trouble getting away from him. when they are all dolled up for a movie or a dance. You are entitled to one A TRUE FISH STORY guess as to their identity. A naturalist, writes James B. Thorsen, in one o5 his clever insurance letters, once di- WEDDINGS vided an aquarium with a clear glass parti- tion. He put a lusty bass in one section and HEMRICH-FLECKINSTEIN minnows in the other. On October 18th, Roy Fleckinstein of the The bass struck every time a minnow ap- Night Brass Shops, and Miss Nella Hemrich proached the glass oartition. After three were married at St. James Church. They davs of fruitless lunging which netted him have gone to housekeeping at 1237 E. Prairie only bruises, he ceased his efforts and sub- street. Roy only recently announced his sisted on the food that was dropped in. wedding, although it was no surprise to Then the naturalist removed the glass par- the boys on the night shift. tition. The minnows swam all around the bass, but he did not strike at a single one. RIDER-ELLEGOOD He had been thoroughly sold on the idea Virgil El lego od, clerk in the lead depart- that business was bad. ment, surprised his relatives and friends There's a moral here if we need it take when on November 29th he and Miss Lai ah another shot at the glass partition. Maybe Rider of Pana, 111., slipped away to Spring- it isn't there any more! field, and were married. They returned to Decatur a few days later and now reside at 1023 W. Eldorado. INQUISITIVE HOOD-HILL A man struck a match to see if the gaso- Ine tank on his auto was empty. It wasn't. Herman H. Hill of the tool-making depart- A man patted a strange bulldog on the ment and Miss Lillian Hood of this city were hrad to see if the critter was affectionate. married Tuesday, December 5th, by Rev. It wasn't. Wm. Heyne at the parsonage. 1 hey were A man speeded up to see if he could beat charivaried by members of Department 5 5, the train to a crossing. He couldn't. who also presented them with an electric A man went to a cheap shop to get a toaster. Not to be outdone, Herman saw to good jcb OiC plumbing. He didn't. it that everyone had plenty of Sangamon water and cigars. Mr. and Mrs. Hill are now living in their new home at 76 1 W. FIERCE VARIETY Cushing street. Stude "And poor Harry was killed by a WEMPEN-FRIEND revolving crane." Miss Goldie Wempen of this city and Mr. Englishwoman "My word! what fierce Roland Friend of the polishing department birds you have in America." The Cornell Widow. were married Thanksgiving Day at the Grace Methodist parsonage by Rev. A. M. Wells, They went to Springfield on a short honey- SNOW AND SUPERSTITION moon and upon their return went to house- The first snow fell in Central Illinois on No- keeping at 1903 N. Church street. vember 27th. It was quite a snow, too, covering ihe ground several inches deep, and changing the DODWELL-WEST landscape to one of winter. An old superstition or sign is to the effect William C. West of the brass shops and I hat the date on which the first snow falls tells Miss Bernice Dodwell of the core department I he total number of snows that will Jail during were married December 6th by Rev. Harley the winter months. Twenty-seven of them! Good night, Inez. Marsh. They have gone to housekeeping at Somebody dig us out when the blue birds convj 825 W. Packard. again. MILITARY AND CIVIL DUTY

GIRL ASSEMBLERS Provision Made to Save Employes from Finan- cial Loss We believe that every man owes certain duties to his country, his state, his county In the rush and his city. days of the past In fulfilling some civil or legal obligations summer it became which call for extended or continuous ser- necessary to put vice the legal fee is such that most men dis- on gi r 1 assem- blers, and a little charge the obligation at a loss. Some years ago we established the rule department was created for them. that employes, members of the militia, Here are the two would be paid by us the difference between "veterans" of this the amount paid by the state and their regu- department - lar wage or salary, providing they attended Ruby Geibe and the training camps when called. Leslye Hopper. This rule has been further extended to These girls be- jury service, Jt is our belief that men sub- came quite skillful poenaed for this duty should accept it unless within a short able to present a good legal reason for being time, and while excused. such work may This is a necessary obligation which no seem somewhat American citizen should dodge even though unusual for worn- „__._ it entails inconvenience and financial loss, en, they seem to but we realize that in many instances there do it just as well as men. are men who can ill-afford to make this sacrifice. Since October 2d it has been our policy IT PAYS TO ADVERTISE to pay the difference between the regular In sending Mueller Records to the bindery jury service fee and the regular wage of any it was discovered that we were short the factory or office employe providing such 1915 Christmas number. employe shall in each case report back for A little notice to this effect was inserted work each day that he is excused from such in the November issue and in a few days service by the court. the much desired copy reached us. Three In doing this our purpose is to encourage, other employes were prepared to supply this in- so- far as possible, acceptance rather than missing number. dodging jury service. It has been demonstrated that some em- ployes save their copy of the Record and also that the little monthly publication is read. SETTING UP FOUNTAINS OPEN FOR POSITION Geo. H. Freitas will retire from his posi- Drinking foun- 'ion as city engineer of Modesto, California, tains reqire a prac- January I st, and will be open for engage- tical hand to as- ment. Mr. Freitas is a competent man. Hs semble them cor- has had sixteen years' continuous service as rectly. city engineer and engineer of sewers; three In recent years years, 1920 to 1923, as superintendent of a sanitary drinking municipally owned water "works. His pref- fountains have re- erence is a position on the Pacific coast. placed the battered old tin cup at the HE GOT THERE, NEVERTHELESS town pump or the A live-wire salesman rushed up to the home of a doctor in a small village late one night and public "fasset." asked him to come at once to a distant town. On street cor- The doctor cranked up his "flivver" and they ners, in stores, in drove furiously to their destination. parks, depots, thea- Uoon their arrival the salesman asked, "How much is your fee, doctor?" tres, and public "Three dollars," said the physician, in sur- buildings, in pro- gressive cities, everywhere you travel you "Hpre you are," said the salesman, handing will find Mueller Sanitary Bubbling fountains. otrp.r the money; "the blamed garage-keeper wanted $ 15 to drive me over, when I missed my tra'n." Harry ICoontz, an assembler in the drinking fountain department, is here shown putting SCORED HIM RIGHT the finishing touches on a fountain, while The stingiest man was scoring the hired man nearby are others ready to go out on orders. for his extravagance in wanting to carry a lantern in poing to call on his best girl. "The idea!" he scoffed, "when 1 was a-co'irtin' It didn't take Shorty Klinghamer long to I irver carried no lantern; I went in the dark. The hired man proceeded to fill the lantern. recognize the Ramsey mud on Roy Whit- "Yes," he said sadly, "and look what you got." aker's shoes.

! 0 THE FOREMAN'S CLUB The November meeting of the Foreman's Club MR. FRED SCHULDER, CATALOGUE was held Monday evening, the 2 7 th, with a good attendance. The dinner was fine, the cigars first BUILDER class and the program interesting. Owing to a previous engagement Mr. Adolph Mueller lead off with a short talk on factory and business affairs. He expressed surprise that more employes did We have with us this Christmas Record, not accept the invitation of the company to use Fred Schulder of Cleveland, Ohio; a gen- the cabin on the Okaw, and suggested that a 'coon hunt should be arranged. tleman quite •well known by the high-low- The large sales and increased production were brows of the brass trade throughout the very pleasing, and with a Babson map he showed country. By reason of how business was distributed throughout the country. his long connection with He feels that the plant will run full time all the brass business as a winter and is confident that there will be a big designer of goods, as an business next year. office man, and a travel- Attorney A. G. Webber spoke briefly on the new constitution for Illinois which was voted on ing salesman, he is well Tuesday, December 12th. versed in all their finer There was a report from the committee on technicalities, not to say safety suggesting plans for greater protection to employes, Anton Schuerman told some things technique. He has about his trip to Europe and Fred B. Mueller traced the bubbling, and W. G. Cranston explained the plan of the new gurgling, sputtering and recreation hall. splattering bibb cock to its hiding place, knock- HELPED THE BLIND ed off the rough spots A Hebrew small storekeeper, much to the sur- and made of it an individual fit for the so- prise of his brethren, suddenly decorated his win- dow with a gorgeous new blind. It was the ad- ciety of a civilized citizenry. And he has miration and envy of all his neighbors. wrestled with the obstreperous basin faucet, "Nice blind of yours, Isaac, "remarked one of laying bold its sins of omission and commis- them. sion, rejuvenated and rehabilitated it until its "Yes, Aaron." "What did it cost you, Isaac?" own kith and kin hesitated to speak to it. "It didn't cost me nothing. My customers paid Of course he found his occupation gone for it." "What? Your customers paid for it !" in this particular when he joined the Mueller "Sure, Aaron. 1 put a leedle box on my count- organization. There were others in the land er 'For the Blind* and they paid for it." beside Fred who had long since discovered the iniquities and ma 1- format ions of ill-bred AS CHRISTMAS PRESENTS b.bbs and basin faucets and all their rela- tives and corrected them, so that Fred had Nothing makes a to say when he looked into the antecedents nicer Christmas gift of Mueller products that they constituted than a high grade a mighty fine family of ancient lineage and plumbing fitting. The about the best appearing brass aristocrats trade has been slow he had ever met up with. to find this out, but Deprived of his job as a reformer and with newer ideas be- corrective specialist, he fell to on the work ing constantly ap- for which he had been engaged, to-wit: the plied it is a wakening classification, listing and describing of Muel- to these great possi- ler goods in a new catalog, arranged with bilities. Everybody such punctilious care as to proper sequence loves good plumbing and grouping that the trade upon receiving now. The desire for it will be relieved of all search and research it in the minds of the work, analytical and studious guess work 'SI^^MI American people is '3t2^^^v H so deep-rooted that and surmise such as usual attends a commer- cial literary effort of this character. T ^KM^^I *• ^ can never be ^ shaken. Lamps, f L • All the recipients of this new catalog will chairs, stoves, rugs, have to do will be to open it up and write etc., are given for out their orders. Christmas. Why not Which is exactly what we should like to plumbing fittings like have them do. our widely advertised Combination Sink Fau- cets. A year ago we put forth this idea and THE BOARD OF HEALTH many plumbers grabbed it. They spread Christmas cheer by making housewives hap- Strolling along the quay of New York harbor, an Irishman came across the wooden barricade py. This year they are doing the same which is placed around the enclosure where those thing. suspected of suffering from contagious diseases Arthur Warren of Department 18 is shown are isolated. here with one of these combinations. He "Phwat's this board for?" he inquired of a by-stander. arsembles all of these fittings for Christmas. "Oh, that's to keep out fever and things like When he has finished they are packed in that," was the reply. ftrong cartons, fastened with gummed tape "Indade," said Bat, "Oi've often heard of the Board of Health, hut, be jabbers, it's the first time decorated in Christmas colors and are then Oi've seen it!" ready to ship to the trade. NEW YORK

The work of making VISITORS From Decatur --Adolph Mueller, Lucien Mueller, changes in the office and Fred Schulder, Frank Cruikshank, Phillip Cruik- war ehouse ic completed, shank, Ebert Mueller, "Chic" Roberts. These changes will greatly ex- From Port Huron, Mich.—O. B. Mueller. pedite the handling of orders From Petersburg, Va,—R. E. Brunet. _ and making shipments more INVENTORY W. R. James promptly. The new stock After working many nights our inventory has bins are a big success. There now been completed. Owing to re-arranging our stock and building new bins it was necessary to are two double bins 43 feet I 0'/2 inches work overtime to bring same up-to-date. long by 5 feet wide, containing 250 smaller bins and one double bin 36 feet 4 inches TAPPING MACHINE SALES The following Tapping Machines have been sold long and 5 feet wide, containing I 98 bins. by our salesmen and very near all of our repre- These provide for a more systematic arrange- sentatives are over their quota: J. P. S tenner, ment of the stock and the introduction of 15; W. F. Hennessy, 3; Ivan Van Haaften, 19; Ralph Gumaer, 13; L. J. Evans, 22; C. J. G. Haas, handling arrangements not possible under the 22; L. A. Montgomery, 8. old plan. — S tenner, Van Haaften, Evans and Hennessy "GET TOGETHER CLUB" have exceeded their quota. The above club held their regular monthly dinner and meeting December 12th dining at the OLD TIMERS CALL Opera Restaurant. We received pleasant calls this week from W. MENU F. McCarthy, Jack Zoillies and Richard Powers, Celery Olives all of whom were formerly connected with the Clam Cock Tail New York Office. Chicken Soup Roast Vermont Turkey SALESMEN Swe.et Potatoes Green Peas Saturday, December 9th, Hennessy, Gumaer, Cranberry Sauce Stenner, and Van Haaften called at the New York Cake Ice Cream Office and signed new contracts for 1923, and Coffee Evans December 13th, 1922. We have also re- All of the employees of the New York office, ceived Mr. Montgomery's contract for 1923. the following New York salesmen, S tenner and Van Haaften, Mr. and Mrs. Adolph Mueller and Ralph Gumaer dropped into the Hoifbrau the Mr. and Mrs. O. B. Mueller attended the dinner. other day and enjoyed a good meal. When he After dinner we returned to the office for our raid his bill, the waiter looked it over, and said: meeting, which was opened by our chairman, Mr. "I beg your pardon, sir, but the money you James, with a few appropriate remarks, have just given me does not include anything for Many different subjects were discussed in refer- the waiter." ence to changes and new equipment which ths "Why should it, I didn't eat one, did I?" company will take action on and render a decision at a later date. Old Idiosyncrasy got home from a trip the The club was very fortunate in having Mr. other day and about the first thing Mrs. Mont- Adolph and Mr. Oscar with us at this meeting gomery said to him was: and the stories told by both were greatly ap- "The preacher of the church we joined tele- precated. phoned a few moments ago, saying he was going Mr. Oscar's talk on the Mueller Employees Op- to call this afternoon." portunities was well received. Mr. Adolph's ad- "Say we must make a good impression," said dress on Collections and Credits gave us a great Monty. "Give the baby the bible to play with." many fine points and was a great help to us all. After discussing the different recommendations Hennessy was on .his way back to Brooklyn the that were made by several of the employees our other evening when a man he knew slightly and meeting at 9:00 P. M. adjourned. who was considerable of a pest, remarked: "I'm quite a near neighbor of yours now. I'm TD OUR FRIENDS IN THE TRADE living just across the river." Through the Mueller Record the New York. "Is that so," replied Hennessy, "I certainly hope Branch of this company avails itself of the op- you drop in some day." portunity to wish each and every one of our "Oh, I will." friends in the Trade a very Merry Xmas and "Well, don't put it off too long." Happy New Year. James—"How are you getting along as a mar- OVERHEARD IN THE OFFICE ried man, Rice?" From the direction of the Billing Dept.—The Rice—"Fine! I've reached the height of ef- new storm door is simply grand. The first time ficiency. 1 can put my socks on from either end I have been warm, in three years. now." 12 • f * Traffic Department/ "N"""1~~ jV- fl^ .-^''~>~—-v -*^- j-fj j-^" *=B^» ^2S

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Service is the first requisite of a Traffic rates, weight and classification of goods, and Department. It's an expense only when it a complete movement record must be made fails to render service. on every shipment. The same must be done If there ever was a man "born unto trouble on express and parcel post shipments. as sparks fly upward" it's a traffic man. A daily call is made on the local freight But he lives on it, thrives on it and pines houses to keep posted on embargoes in order for more. If other people did not have to move goods around embargoed districts. trouble about the plant, Matt Trott would There was a time when a traffic department be back shooting train orders over the wire. was a success if it was able to show the col- A traffic man never gets excited. Some lection of a great many claims, but the traf- one may rush into Matt's office out of fic work of today has reached a point where breath, pop-eyed and with face aghast over it not only takes a traffic education but a some shipment going astray. transportation education in order to be on Does Matt catch this fever of excitement? the same footing as the transportation of- He does not. He asks for bills of lading, ficial, as there are certain fundamental prin- car numbers, shipping date, etc. To the ciples that are necessarily connected with layman these mean about as much as the that department. This is true for the reason eighteenth amendment does to a bootlegger. that even though the employer who requires To Matt they speak with an eloquence that a traffic department may not have had time would make Billy Bryan quit wanting to or inclination to delve into the mysteries of be president. Then he either gets proof of traffic problems. His keen business sense delivery, finds the shipment somewhere, or will soon tell him whether a department is files a claim. But he does not do it as easy handling those problems to the best advan- as 'tis told. He may battle for months. He tage to the business. Therefore the traffic never gives up hope claim agents never do. department must be able not only to give A claim agent never has any fun oh, yes, service today but every day its success occasionally. That's when some one in the and very life depends on the co-operation organization declares an incoming shipment it receives and gives to all other departments lost, and exhausts himself and his vocabu- in the organization. lary cursing traffic men, railroads and ex- press companies. He always exhausts his The Traffic Crew vocabulary first. Generally it naturally runs out, being small. When it gives out and Matt's "train crew" is shown at the head the complainant yields the floor through of the page. Matt occupies the center car. physical exhaustion, Matt asks two or three To his left is Miss Ethel Dixon, and to his commonplace questions. Then if he happens right Miss Nellie Blanchard. Miss Bertha to locate the shipment as already in our Everett is on the "extra board." possession and can so advise the complain- ant, he permits himself a dry smile. There really is no mystery about the traffic and THE EXPLANATION PROVES IT claim department. It's merely a simple case of taking a few facts and following them up Othel Allen claimed that while attending a systematically. Southern Illinois College he was required to do 500 problems a day. FEW THINGS NECESSARY TO KNOW Ben Tarr doubted it, saying at 10 prob- lems per hour it would require a fifty-hour A traffic department must Have an up-to- day. date tariff file "which includes copies of all Allen explained that by working double freight tariffs, demurrage rules, reconsigning time in two shifts of 12 hours each he got rules from the various railroads and trunk in 48 hours in every 24. Starting an hour line associations we ship over. It is neces- early on each shift he made up the required sary to know the passenger rates to all the 50 hours. principal cities, the shortest mileage and Ben agreed that Othel is some "arithma- shortest time. You must check all freight ticker" or some the word doesn't look bills both in and out-bound for errors in good in print. 13 FINANCIAL STATEMENT OF THE EM- THE SHIPPING ROOM PLOYES' AID SOCIETY

There is, of course, a November 16, 1922—December 16, 1922 close relationship between the shipping room and the traffic department. They Company's Contribution $ 50.00 have to work hand in hand. December Dues 444.10 $ 494.10 It undoubtedly was a good RECEIPTS move when the traffic de- Balance on hand November 16, partment was lined up 1922 $ 962.22 alongside of the shipping $1456.32 room. For one thing, it PAYMENTS saves Bert Jackson many Benefitfis Listed Below $382.10 trips up two flights of stairs Check to Emergency Loan Fund deposited by mistake to Em- and incidentally reduces ployes Aid Society 33.40 Bert wear and tear on the eleva- Loan to Emergency Loan Fund. 150.00 565.50 tor. Bert is the generalissimo of the shipping Balance December 16, 1922.... $ 890.82 department under Frank Cruikshank, and he BENEFITS PAID has been there so long that he is a sort of Mrs. Gretchen Moore $ 24.00 a ready reference book on past and present Everett Jones I 8.00 history. In moments of A. E. Goldsborough 43.00 F. C. Frees 8.50 relation he always has Joseph Grossman 27.50 a bait out for suckers, Clifford Beavers 34.00 and when he gets a bite the Mrs. Ruth Black 14.70 bunch join in making the Homer Whiteside 43.00 J. M. Sweeney 8.50 victim realize that three Odie Walker 16.25 cents would be a large Carl Broyles 1.50 price to ask for himself at Cecil Dance 5.25 Edwin Dwyer 3.00 that particular moment. Henry Unkauf 27.00 Roy Baker, who within a Mrs. Bernice Carder I 2.65 few years has become quite George La Brash 30.00 well known in the organi- E. Blankenburg 7.00 Henry Hertel 33.25 zation, holds down the job L. Bass 15.00 of shipping clerk, and William Dixon 10.00 Roy that's enough to keep him out of mischief—at least in a busy $382.10 such as we have just gone through. II. RODGliR, Treasurer. MERRY, MERRY CHRISTMAS, PAPA AND MAMMA ANENT THE CHARIVARI WE WONDER (Christmas Morning Conversation) What the neighbors thought? "Put your skates away; it's too cold to go What Bobbie said when John Dunaway fired his out." gun. Where Mr. Shirk learned the tune that Bobbie "Papa, when you get through with my me- recognized so quickly. chanical toys, let me play with them awhile." Where Billy Mason learned that dance step. "Reginald, take that pretty book 'Star of Who taught Floyd Hollar to smoke a cigar Bethlehem' Aunt Abbie sent you and leave and play a clarinet at the same time. Where Pickett Hobbs learned to play without those horrid Sunday comics alone. I've not notes. seen them myself, yet." Why Roy Coffman isn't snapped up by J. P. "Ruth, if you eat another piece of that Sousa. How Bob Dressen can get so much noise out candy I'll put you to bed. Pass the dish of a "sweet potato." to me. Which was the best—Charlie's or Bobbie's—we "Harold, for heaven's sake, pick up those didn't find out. Why Waggy wasn't there. blocks and put them over in the corner." Who got the milk bottles. "Araminta, let baby play with your doll If Barney got his money's worth. awhile and stop her crying. Remember, San- Where Rick got that smile. How much Charlie knew that he didn't tell ta Ciaus is listening and if you act so selfish Bobbie. he will not bring you anything next year." Why Gilly made no presentation speech. "Hellsbells, Goshalmighty (bang, bump, Why Bobbie had a padlock on that closet door. bump). For John's sake, who left that train What the "Catalogue Man" thought of it all. If anybody didn't have a good time. of cars on the stairs. If you kids don't keep If Cranston went home hungry. this junk in your own room I'll take it away from you." Suburban Patient Doctor, I am sorry you have had to come so far from your regular Just think when you are vexed and tired, practice. And perhaps almost unmanned; Doctor—Oh, it's all right. I have another The blackslider "wouldn't slide patient in the neighborhood, so I can kill If he had a little sand. two birds with one stone. Judge. 14 INTRODUCING

Mrs Robt. Mu

Throughout the late summer and fall R. which were maintained until a late hour. H. (Bobbie) Mueller has taken deep interest The newly married couple were heartily in the building of a pretty little bungalow congratulated, the new home with all its on a suburban tract northeast of Decatur. modern conveniences was admired and the The impression seemed to prevail that it was best wishes expressed for the future hap- a speculative investment, but when he sud- piness of the couple. A handsome mantel denly developed gardening ambition and clock was presented to the couple. They wanted to know from farmer Simpson which deeply appreciate the evidence of good will was the up-side and the down-side of a seed, and friendship. suspicion was aroused that he certainly Bobbie Mueller is the oldest of the third would not want all this information if intend- generation of Mueller boys just now becom- ing to remain single. ing actively associated with the business. Then early in November he suddenly dis- From his boyhood he has been identified appeared from the factory and was missed with the company's interest. There is from the noon-day lunch. It was then that scarcely a position in the office or factory suspicion became almost a certainty that which he has not held. The result is a Bobbie was about to join his fortunes with thorough knowledge of the company's busi- those of some fair lady. ness and manufacturing policies. All this Confirmation of this came in a brief an- knowledge is of inestimable value to him nouncement in the local papers of his mar- now in his important uosition as head of riage at St. Louis November 8th to Miss Ari- the engineering division. etta Talbot of Decatur. The couple returned At the head of this page we print a pho- to Decatur and took immediate possession 'ograph of Mr. and Mrs. Mueller and their of their pretty little home which was already cozy little home. Mrs. Mueller has many completely furnished and waiting for them, friends in the Mueller organization who will A few days later there was a little cele- welcome her to the social activities which bration of this event by the no on-day lunch play an important part in our association party. Mrs. Rost had an especially fine din- with the company. ner prepared. The table was ornamented P. S. Bobbie reserved the right to go with cut flowers. At Bobbie's place a wed- hunting any time he so desires, so his jour- ding scene was cleverly depicted by dolls n«~ys afield will continue as heretofore. dressed as groom and bride, and a large lounging chair was there for the use of the In field or forest, at the desk or loom real groom. At one side was a beautiful In roaring market-place or tranquil room; mahogany table for the new Mrs. Mueller. Let me but find it in my heart to say, John She] ton made a brief speech of When vagrant wishes beckon me astray presentation and for once in his life Bobbie "This is my work; my blessing, not my doom; could not talk, either fast or slow, but that Of all who live, 1 am the one by whom he appreciated the thoughtfulness of his This work can best be done, in the right friends was apparent. way." Henry Van Dyke This did not end the celebration. Tues- day evening, November 2 1 st, a large party SUFFICIENT WARNING of office and factory friends organized an First Darky—"Say, brother, Ah got a car, boy, old-fashioned charivari party, and called on with a big horn on it, and when Ah pass through Mr. and Mrs. Mueller at their home. The ^he town all Ah gotta do is blow that siren an everybody hops outta the way." first intimation of their presence was a Second Darkey—-"Ah gotta car, too." thunderous salute from heavily charged shot- First Darky —"What kinda horn is you' car guns. Bobbie is well acquainted with shot- got?" Second Darky —"Mah car ain't got no horn. guns, but that blast was beyond his compre- All the people in town is gotta look at is mah hension. It sounded like the explosion of radiator, and it says 'Dodge brothers —and they a can of dynamite. do.' " The beating of tin pans augmented by an unearthly accompaniment of sundry noise- EASY WAY OUT producing instruments produced a din un- "Why was angels climbing up and down Ja - equaled since Armistice day. cob's ladder when they could fly," asked the little Sunday School girl. The bunch was taken into the house and "Next question, please," answered the embar - then followed an evening of social festivities rassed eminent divine.

15 THE OFFICE OWL HOO! HOO!

SAY IT WITH CAULIFLOWERS Marjorie Smeathers—"What is the (Adapted from Dom. Eng.') weight of money? Is it very heavy?" Clara—"Have you seen May? " Billy Simpson—"It sure is heavy. Tony "May who? " There are- times' when I find it very Clara—-"Mayonnaise." hard to raise' even a silver dollar." Tony—"No; she's dressing and won't lettuce." 1 hate to be a kicker, John Shelton—"What would yo do if you re- I always long for peace; ceived a letter from the Ku Klux Klan?" But the wheel that does the squeaking Ray Salesberry—"I'd read it on a train." Is the wheel that gets the grease. —Hathaway.

"Otto," screamed Mrs. Halmbacher, in one or Discontent is the want of self-reliance, it is the the early rides in their auto, "you are going to infirmity of the will—Emerson. hit that pole." "1 know it," said Otto. WAS VANNIE ONE And he did. He stood on the bank of the leaping brook, Zippy—"How's everything at home?" His senses nearly reeling; Bailey—"Oh, she's all right." And now and then he would venture a look— The village belles were peeling! Nina—"Is it true you get the head-ache when you first ride horseback?" Casey—I can stand on one foot longer than Vannie—"Oh, no. Quite the opposite." you. Evart—Maybe you can, but 1 know another Some time ago we sent to W. R. James, man- goose—we'll eat him. Christmas—that can beat ager of the New York office, some business cards you at that game. of a character and quality befitting his position. At the same time his attention was called to this She—"Have you ever been pinched for speed- with a suggestion not to distribute them like ing? " hand bills. Ed Stille—-"No, but I've been slapped for go- "1 got chu," wrote back Billy, "Will get a re- ing too fast." ceipt for each one." AT THE MARKET Ha rold—Do you think silk s tockings will be Market Man-—"Here's some especially fine as- worn with the new long skirts? pa ragus—picked less than three hours ago." Carl—Sure, what's the good of curtains without Helen P—"Why does it grow like that? I al- scenery? ways believed the cook braided the ends." Billy Simpson (Stooping at the milk depot) — TECHNICAL TERM "Let me have a pint." Pauline—-"Where is the clutch in a car?" Dealer—-"Got your bottle with you?" Angeline—"In the back seat." Billy (his hand seeking his hip)—"No, 1 haven't. I'll send Bud over with it." Harold (at end of vacation)—"I'd like three more days, Press." Louis Rohr (to Jack, just returned from Chi- Press-—"Ah! You wish three more days of cago—-"How did you find your relatives, Jack?" Grace? " Jack—"No trouble at all; I had their ad- Harold—"No, of Gertrude." dresses."

Traffic Cop—-"Say, didn't you see me wave at Creta Jane-—-"Do you believe Santa Claus puts you ? " the presents in our stockings?" Margie—"Yes, you fresh young thing! If my Favette—"Certainly 1 do. Why?" friend were here you wouldn't dare to." Creta Jane—"Well, I certainly hope he comes to our house before he goes to Mack's or Marie's. Scotty says: "Lives of great men oft' remind us, FRED'S SOLILIQUY As their leaves we turn, Last night I held a hand so dainty and so sweet That we sometimes leave behind us 1 thought my heart would surely break, so wildly Letters that we ought to burn." did it beat. No other hand unto my heart could greater solace Mrs. Draper—"1 must hurry and get dressed bring. right away. Kitty Wilkin and his wife are com- Than the hand I held last night— ing this evening. I wonder if I better put on the FOUR ACES AND A KING percolator?" Carl—"Aw, don't bother put tin' on any per- GOLF colator; you're dressed up all right, the way you "Who's the stranger, mother, dear? are." Look, he knows us. Ain't he queer?" "Hush, my own! don't talk so wild; E. K. Shaw—"In China they have a queer cus- He's your father, dearest child." tom of taking off their shoes before entering the "He's my father? No such thing! house." Father passed away last spring." O. J. Hawkins—-"Huh, a heck of a lot of mar- "Father didn't die, you dub! ried men do the same thing in this country. I've Father joined a golfing club. done it myself." But they closed the club, so he Has no place to go, you see— Mat Trott—"Every time the wife and 1 have That is why he's coming home. a fight 1 mark it in a book." K'ss him—he won't bite you, child—- Frank Cruikshank—" What kind of a book?" All them golfing guys look wild." Mat—"A scrap book." —The Scandal Purveyor.

16 What a wonderful time Christmas is. At no It was a great afternoon for the old folks—and other season of the year are people brought into the children rather enjoyed it. such close bonds of friendship and fellowship. At It was a pretty scene with1' the big illuminated no other time are little children so interesting. Christmas tree at the east end of the hall bright- Christmas is a mystery to them and Santa Claus ened by the eager, expectant faces of the six hun- is a saint symbolic of generosity, thoughtfulness, dred Mueller kiddies. good nature and kindliness. The older people are imbued with a spirit of tolerance. The young, without a very clear idea EMPLOYES TO THE FIRM perhaps of what it all means, participate uproar- iously and the older people look on with good In the core room, which had been prettily deco- natured condescension. rated in holiday colors, the employes met members of the firm Friday noon, December 23rd, and re- It's no wonder that under such conditions the membered them with chests of silver and table Christmas party of any big industrial family should linen for the Mueller Lodge. A very pretty little be the event of paramount importance in the year's Christmas scene had been worked out in a minia- calendar. ture house a-glow of comfort and Christmas cheer And our Christmas party is no exception. Othei on the inside and a pretty winter scene outside. social events pale into insignificance because of The presentation carried with it the best wishes this season of the year, which brings us into close of the employes, suitably expressed by their and lively communion. At Christmas more than spokesman. Responses were made by members of any other time, we are more nearly our natural the firm, and then followed an interchange of selves. personal good wishes. The meeting was marked When the children of Mueller employes assem- by a feeling of genuine good fellowship and that bled in the Y. M. C. A. Annex Saturday, December spirit of democracy which prevails throughout 23rd, any one could have told that it was going to be a big day. A balloon on which was printed "A Merry owng tis presentation tere were others Christmas and a Happy New Year" was presented rom departments to foremen and exchange of to each one. personal presents so that altogether it was a most A reception committee composed of J. W. Wells, happy occasion. John Shelton, Charles F. Roarick, J. W. Wilkins and their wives welcomed the old and young and gave them to understand that it was up to them FIRM TO EMPLOYES to have a good time. When the noon whistle blew Saturday, Decem- For an hour and a quarter the "kiddies," after ber 23rd, employes assembled at the club house, being segregated in groups according to ages, were formed in line and received their Christmas gift, directed in games by the instructors of the Y. which consisted of a fine ham, weighing fifteen M. C. A. and Y. W. C. A. pounds. Cigars were passed to the men and Then came the grand march, the group singing, oranges to the girls. The company members stood a solo dance by little Janet Cozad, a Christmas in line to personally greet each employe and to story and then the distribution of presents and the older men exchange friendly reminiscences ot big red apples. the early days of the business when company mem- As the little ones filed by a Christmas station bers themselves were doing factory work. with Charles Morris acting the part of Santa Claus they were handed toys with a word of com- mendation — sometimes admonition—boys will be boys, you know—-but they all went home happy. THINGS AREN'T WHAT THEY SEEM For the boys there were engines, parlor cars, Newlywed Husband of Mueller Foundry freight cars, wagons, tops, ten pins, pop guns, "How have you pot these eggs fixed?" and canoes, and for the girls, bisque dolls, rag dolls, laundry outfits, telephones, dogs and work Wife "Those aren't eggs. Those are boxes. apricots with whipped cream." 17 * o«cr>>o0(>0()o(>fl0<^^ U. of I's. NEW STADIUM

The vast colosseums of ancient Rome THE U. OF I. STADIUM have ceased to excite our interest or stir our The plans at present call for an east and imagination. "Them days are gone forever." west stand with a total seating capacity of In dozens of colleges there are football bowls approximately 5 7,000. Each stand will con- sist of a main floor seating 18,657 and one and stadiums which make the Roman colos- balcony seating 9,986 a total seating ca- seums look like a "ten, twent, and thirt opry pacity for each stand of 28,625. Under each house." ctand is a large hall 50 feet wide, 415 feet long and thirty feet high. These halls are Right here in the corn belt we are tree from columns and can be used for any erecting a stadium at the University of Illi- purpose the athletic association may see fit. nois (Champaign) which upon completion The height of the top row of the balcony above the playing field is 114 feet. The will seat twice as many people as the largest site selected allows a depression of the field colosseum that Rome ever knew. When fin- of 1 6 feet below grade on the east stand, ally completed this stadium at the U. of 1. still permitting proper drainage. In other will accommodate 92,000 persons. words, the high point of the east stand will be 98 feet above grade. The highest point With stadiums built in the last twenty years ascended by a ramp will be 6 1 feet leading and those projected this coun try will have twice to the balcony dormitory. as many a moh it heat res as in old Roman days. The Romans had fifteen large stadiums and about The width of the playing field from stand 100 small ones, but America now matches all the to stand is 250 feet. The stands themselves larger ones. are limited in length to 50 feet beyond ths The scene in this country at a big football goal line. Provision is made for a future game is one almost of regal pomp. The interest south and north stand which will bring the is wider and more compelling than Roman inter- est in the water carnival and 1 00 days games seating capacity up to 92,000. Both north with which Titus opened the Roman Colosseum and south ends will be graded from the level in 80 A. D. of the playing field up to the height of an In the opening of some of our new stadiums 8 foot enclosing wall. the crowd was larger than the combined seating The cost of this stadium will amount to capacity of the Roman Colosseum and the next largest structure in old Rome, the amphitheater $2,000-000 or more when completed. On of Capua. September 20th the subscriptions had reached One of these was the new structure at Ohio $1,862,088.35. George Huff, who is given State University and the other the Dudley Stad- credit for making this stadium a reality, ium, Vanderbilt University, Nashville, Tenn. At turned the first shovel of dirt on September the game between Ohio and Michigan the crowd 1 1th. numbered 75,000 with additional thousands clamor- A few facts concerning other big undertakings ing for admission. of this character, either building or proposed, with Both in the Yale Bowl and Ohio stadium are seating capacity and cost are interesting: greater in dimensions than the Roman Colosseum. Dudley Stadium. Vanderbilt University, seat- The Yale Bowl is 933 x 744 feet. The Colosseum ing capacity 25,000. 615 x 510 feet. Yale's playing field is 500 x 300 feet; the Colosseum's, 288 x 177 feet. (Continued on Page 25) 18 THIRTY-FOUR DUCKS Warren street. The evening was spent in In early December Robert Mueller and contests and games. The prize winners were Frank W. Cruikshank made a trip to the Mr. and Mrs. Hugh Kerwood, Mr. and Mrs. Illinois River and spent several days shooting Basil Mason, A. L. Gates and Wilber Coulter. ducks. There were plenty of home-made candies, and toward the close of the evening refresh- ments consisting of sandwiches, wafers and hot chocolate were served. It was raining hard when the party broke up and the Gates Ford again came to the rescue and delivered each to his home. On Nov. 1 7th the bunch from Department 30 met at the home of J. E. McDonald, and advanced in a body, their object being the home of A. L. Gates. This being a surprise party we forced our way in without knock- ing, and we caught Arthur in his blue shirt and overalls. A very delightful evening was spent in different contests and games. As usual, Basil Mason won a prize, also Mrs. Mason, Mrs. McDonald and K. White. At a late hour refreshments consisting of sand- wiches, apples, sliced peaches, coffee and cake were served. A fine time was enjoyed They were quite successful, the total count by all. being seventy-four mallards. Mr. Robert is shown in the picture with his share of the game about 34 ducks. There IN WILD WYOMING are some who can't connect Bob up with Probably every person in the organization hunting because he only occasionally makes will recognize this small picture of our form- a trip, but he always "brings back the er employment and welfare department head bacon."

DEPARTMENT 30 The members of this department used the inventory period, during which the factory was closed, to good advantage. It afforded a good rest to many and to others oppor- tunity to "do that odd job" at home, or to make visits to friends in other cities. Glen Michel man visited his parents at No- komis. Of course they were not the only attraction in the old home town. Earl Stine visited with his mother in Cerro Gordo during inventory. Francis Weygant is back from Watseka, where he visited friends. In the November Record there was a re- —E. H. Langdon. He left last summer for quest for a 1915 or 1916 Christmas Record. Eastern Wyoming where this snap shot was We were pleased to be the department which taken. answered that call. August Schudziara Mr. Langdon is fond of the great out- handed in a 1915 Record the following morn- doors and this snapshot shows him in his ing and asked to have it turned in. It was element. He is drinking now that is drink- in excellent condition. Thank you, August. ing in large quantities of fresh air—which is Lon Sharis spent his vacation at Danville. the best tonic imaginable. The fact that he Earl (Curley) Reeves has returned to is carrying his hat shows that he is not afraid work after a visit at Delphi, Ind. the wind will blow his hair off. It is sus- Floyd Holler took advantage of inventory pected that he is hopeful that it may blow time to run up to Chicago. some on. E. Tedford visited relatives in the southern part of the state. Inventory in this department was finished THE AWFUL TRUTH in the record-breaking time of three days. "You look fed up, old man." Wilbur Coulter spent the week end visiting "Yes, I've had a tiring day. That little with his mother at Assumption. beast of an office-boy of mine came to me Harold Grey is our new bell hop. with the old gag about getting off for his Percy Tankersley is back from Tampa, grandmother's funeral, so just to teach him Fla., and has resumed his place on the regu- a lesson 1 said 1 would accompany him." lator bench. "Ah, not so bad; was it a good game?" On Nov. I Oth Curley Reeves gave a party "No, it was his grandmother's funeral!" for Department 30 at his home on North The Passing Show (London). The Employment Department presents an call for assistance, encouragement or advice almost unlimited field for the study of human are being constantly handled in a way that nature. In the course of the year there are really serves and benefits the employee. many who seek employment, and while there Planning and carrying out the detail of is an elastic general rule under which these social activities in the organization rests with applicants may be grouped as an average, the employment department. there is no rule applicable to hundreds of The combination of these various duties men and woman with queer ideas as to what gives to the Employment Department suffi- employment really means men who, need- cient to keep it busy, along lines which all ing work, refuse it because, for instance, they progressive manufacturers have found indis- cannot accept and abide by some little rule. pensable in the conduct of their business. They possess immeasurable independence E. H. Langdon was the first head of this and belong to the class that want rules to department. Upon his retirement last Aug- mesh with their ideas rather than mesh their ust he was succeeded by C. H. Rodgers. ideas with our rules. Then there is the Miss Lida Bass has been with the department class who unfortunately have no special almost from the beginning in consequence training in any line but feel their service is of which everybody about the plant knows just as valuable as the man who has train- Lida and Lida knows them. ing. And still another class whose neglected Speaking of his work, Mr. Rogers said: education and general knowledge, automat- This came to our desk recently. Ask your- ically places them in a class which they self how it strikes and apply it personally would not consider, but into which circum- if you like: stances will eventually force them. Some- "It is our aim to do the right thing at what different, yet similar, is the younger the right time in the right way, to do some man with good clothes, flashy neckwear things better than they were ever done be- and manicured nails, who wants a job fore, to eliminate errors, to know both sides always one that pays a good wage—nothing of the question, to be courteous, to be an like factory work oh, no, a nice clean job example, to work for the love of working; where he can maintain a good front. It's to anticipate requirements, to develop re- only in extreme cases that one of this class sources, to recognize no impediments, to will take a factory job. In many instances, master circumstances; to act from reason however, it's the "makin' of 'em." A few rather than from rule, to be satisfied with days* honest labor with men who do more nothing short of perfection." than maintain a front, puts a little sense into his head, and starts him on a path which CAN YOU IMAGINE— gives him a chance to develop. Bill Burkholder being a street car conductor? Cecil Foltz ushering at Empress? On the contrary side, there are not infre- Bob Dressen a baker? quently well dressed, intelligent young fellows Leo Martin alias "Bingo" as assistant manager and middle-aged men who really want work, in ladies furnishing store. Opal Verner as a chorus girl? take what is offered them, make the best of Nellie Wicks going to church? it as a temporary makeshift to get lined up John Hon as a school teacher? for something better or use it as a stepping Clyde Saler a ribbon clerk? Joe Bald ridge (The "Blue Print" Detective") a stone to advancement. This class is most lawyer? desirable. They know what they can do Grace singing for a funeral? and depend upon the fact that their ability Cussye Allen getting fat? will demonstrate itself in their work and that Gilly on the police force? Ryder being a coal miner? some one will recognize it. Burns as a swimming instructor? Space limitations prevent anything more Hub Black arrested for "bootlegging"? Bessie, assistant to undertaker in China? than a cursory glance at the particular phase Lucas doing the "Tango?" of the employment department's activities. Brock as a messenger boy? Parker as a hash-slinger? There is always a pathetic side. Faces Walt pushing a baby-cab? frequently tell a story of needed employment C. W. H. as a regular farmer? because of family responsibilities, sickness, accident, etc. The worry, hope and longing THE PROPER TREATMENT written in every line of the face need no We have it from an eminent explorer that emphasis. cannibals are very proud of their table man- In addition to employing help, this depart- ners. It is to be hoped that they always ment has an equally important responsibility take politicians with a grain of salt.—Eve in welfare work about the plant. Cases that (London). 20 From Cologne he went to Oberammergau ANTON ABROAD to see "The Passion Play," which is, as all know produced by peasants trained from infancy to portray various characters of The In early July Anton Schuermann sailed Crucifixion. It is produced every ten years. away on the good ship Reliable. He went Tourists travel from remote parts of the as the company's guest and emissary. In world at an expense of thousands of dollars addition to visiting relatives whom he had not to see it. seen for forty years, he was to investigate "What did you have to pay to see it?" German methods of manufacture, especially asked Fred Mueller. as relates to our line. Anton came back early "Three cents thirty marks," answered in November, and since then he has been Anton. telling us about it. In spite of the fact that "Well, did you go to Paris to see The he has lived here and been an American for Passion there, ' continued Fred. forty years, Anton never did succeed in rid- "You have not understood right it is a ding himself of his German accent, and fre- play." quently in his English conversation he gives "All right, we will let it go at that." his sentences a laughable twist. In conse- Anton brought home some samples of quence some of his descriptions of his trips German-made brass goods. They are similar are amusing to his friends. in construction to the Saville type of bibb, He visited a number of German manu- but to us they are queer looking plumbing facturers and found in some, methods which brass goods. Hennessy could never earn a appeared to him as very crude, while in bonus peddling them. In securing these others he found manufacturing methods were Anton had another amusing experience. very efficient and advanced. In some in- His attention was attracted to these goods stances he was a welcome visitor and com- as he passed the shop. On stepping inside pany officials conducted him through their he found a fourteen-year-old boy, presum- factory and gave him all possible informa- ably the proprietor's son, in charge. The tion. In other instances he was refused ad- boy priced the bibbs at twenty-five marks mission even when influential residents inter- and Anton purchased several samples. As ceded for him. And then again, he would the bargain was completed the owner of the be told that he could have the privilege, store entered. He asked about the transac- but some official would sit down with him tion and was enraged at the price. in prolonged conversation until Anton be- "He's an American," he growled. "He came convinced that they were "spoofing" must pay double." him, and left in disgust. "All right," replied Anton, "how much When Anton related one experience to you want?" the foreman's club, he created a big laugh. "Forty-five marks each." It would require an expert word juggler "Take it 'taint money, nohow." and a clever imitator to get it all into print Despite his unpleasant reception Anton the way he detailed it. The incident had tried to be a good fellow, but he did not to do with his visit to a cousin in Cologne. make much headway. Noticing some bath- Anton had not seen her for over forty years, tubs, Anton asked the proprietor where they but he found her in an apartment house, were made, and was told it was none of and described minutely the rows of bells in his business. the hall with their identifying names. He Anton explained persuasively that he was spotted her name and rang. She answered in the same line of business in America and from the head of the stairway, accompanied was asking for information and from curi- by a dog barking in a very meaning and osity. significant voice. It spelled torn trousers Finally the proprietor growled the name and lacerated limbs to Anton, and he dip- of the town where he obtained the tubs, lomatically opened negotiations from the foot and with a final growl said it was all he was of the stairway. going to say. He recalled to the lady's mind that she Anton concluded it was time to be on his had a cousin, Anton Schuermann, who had way and left. The war does not seem to years before gone to the United States. That have sweetened or softened the German dis- much she remembered. Then Anton sprang position, and the fact that Anton was a the glad surprise that he was the same. former countryman did not seem to get him The lady did not become enthusiastic or hys- anywhere. terical. Quite the contrary. She remained Anton wore home a suit of clothes that perfectly calm and self-possessed, also du- he purchased in Germany. It is a remark- bious. ably good suit for the money. It set Anton In the meantime the dog barked savagely back only six dollars and fifty cents in and looked expectantly at Anton's firmly Uncle Sam's dough, or 52,500 German rounded calves. marks. From an American standpoint it "You bring dot dog away and I show was indeed cheap, but from a German stand- you," said Anton. point it was expensive. The German work- The cousin consented and by producing ing man when he draws his wage does not his passport Anton established his identity, sret marks on the American dollar valuation. and there was a happy reunion lasting far He is paid on the basis of German value of into the night. the mark. Consequently when he buys a suit of clothes it takes a considerable por- A FAMILY GROUP tion of his wages to pay the bill. The visit of one of our own organization to Germany gives us a new interest in a country that since the war has stirred the interest and caught the attention of the world. Apropos of Anton's $6.50 suit of clothes is the price of German real estate as told in a recent article in the New York Times. The writer states that a resident of New York recently purchased in a German city near Berlin a three-story apartment house built of brick and having accommo- dations for nine families for the small sum of $99.00 or 162,000 marks. The building Mr. and Mrs. Fred Frees with their chil- originally cost 25,000 marks or at pre- dren and grand-children at a family reunion war exchange, $5000. Measured by such during the past summer. Mr. Frees is a real estate values as these it seems that tester in Department 1 8. Anton paid a plenty for his suit of clothes after all. FINDING A RESTAURANT HIS FIRST CHRISTMAS "Where is that restaurant," asked Bobbie, This is Harvey as he walked along the streets of Cincinnati Warren. He is only with Mason and Gustin. eight months old and he weighs 28 pounds. "Don't know," said Gustin, "but I'll find Harvey is going to out." celebrate his first Stepping up to a traffic officer who imme- Christmas. He is a diately threw up his arm and stopped a long bright, healthy, kiddy line of vehicles, Big Bill engaged him in con- and has all appear- versation. ances of being able Street car gongs clanged, Claxons clacked to put in a very and horns tooted in vain without securing strenuous day. attention. At last Bill wandered back to His father is Ar- the curb, the traffic cop blew his whistle and thur Warren and business in Cincinnati was resumed. works in the assemb- ling department. "Restaurant's just around the corner," said Bill, "Nice accommodating chap, that traffic cop. Very pleasant little conversa- THE STONE CUTTERS tion with him." Three stone cutters were driving their "All right," said Mason. "I'll bet that's chisels into a massive block of granite. A not what the street car and automobile stranger who was passing inquired of the drivers are saying about it." first man what he was doing. "I'm cutting stone," growled the laborer. "And what are you doing?" he asked the second. A RESOLUTION FOR EVERYBODY "I'm working for $7.50 a day," he replied. The third man was asked the same ques- How is this suggestion for a resolution tion and, looking up with a flash of earnest- to be adopted by everybody this year? ness, he quietly answered: "Resolved, That in the year 1923 1 will "I'm helping to build a cathedral." think things out. The three answers illustrate admirably the "That I will be wise enough to withhold judgment until 1 have all of the facts, and three fundamental attitudes a man can take ihaC 1 will be sure the facts are genuine. toward his work. "That 1 will not permit my solid judg- His labor may be a drudgery, it may be ment to be swayed by my personal feelings, a means to an end, or a contribution to the and that I will spur every effort of self-seak- great scheme of things. ers to gain my favor by attempting to A man may feel that he is serving time, arouse my prejudice. he may be selfishly serving only himself, or "That I will do my own thinking and he may view his labor as a service to society. not permit myself to be stampeded into any opinion, by any one on any pretext whatso- Unless a man is capable of realizing the ever. larger significance of his work he is incap- "And so, God giving me courage, 1 will able of realizing its larger opportunities. be a solid American citizen, unafraid, going Either he will have vision or he will be sup- forward with faith, believing in my country plied with supervision—Canadamk. and my fellow men, doing unto others as I would have others do unto me."—Orange Judd Farmer. It is better to get out and pick up business than to wait for business to pick up. 22 THE ILLS THAT FLESH IS HEIR TO (ORIGINAL) „.»..*..*..».....*..,

"Where's Pyrox, the boss," 1 asked, hesi- the taste, but it does the work. The kid's tatingly, as the barber adjusted the towel, got so he likes it. We are never without it. realizing full well the result of dropping a Just as soon be out of coffee." brand in such a powder mill. He soothingly "I know," grudgingly conceded the pure felt of a four days' stubble which scratched oil fiend, "but when you're giving give the like the cat's claw, and asked, insinuatingly, real stuff." "shave?" "Say," chirped in another side liner, "did "No, manicure my toe nails." youse guys ever try that Gloam's Liniment. "Yes, sir, close," mixing the lather. 'Py- There's real stuff for you. Had an awful rox is sick at home, somewhat indisposed." pain in my side last night. Just soused a 'Smatter ? " flannel rag with Gloam's, clapped it on my "Little indigestion last Friday noon. He side, went to bed and slept like a top. Say, was feeling badly and took two ounces of it's the cat's whiskers for pains, strains, castor oil. About 4 o'clock that afternoon bruises, and sore spots in fact it's good for he took a pint of Pluto." almost everything. I'm always using it and "And you say his indisposition is only so is the wife." slight?" He smelled the part. A label would have "Oh, yes, sir. That dope cured him." made him an animated bottle of this famous "Marvelous! It's surprising that he pulled panacea. through." "Oh, no. I shouldn't say that those are "They're all good," said the barber who recognized, standard remedies, and have real started the invalid ward. "Surprising how merit." easily you can cure yourself nowdays. Every "Say, Bill," blubbered the man in the next man his own doctor. If anything goes wrong chair through a snow drift of foamy lather, with me i can always find a cure. And now "where'd you say that drug store was? what else," ingratiatingly. Damn that soap! It don't taste as good as "Nothing," 1 whispered, feebly, "except the last. Rotten I" call for a stretcher, please, and have me "Here," said his barber, "put this 'Life carried to my room." Saver' in your mouth it'll fix it. They're "Feeling badly?" great." "Yes, quite so. Never mind the stretcher; "Fine, better already." I'll try to get to the elevator and upstairs." "Dat dere drug store," cut in the colored "Where do you feel bad; just sort of porter, "hit's just three doors off the cor- weak and sinking? I'd advise you to get a ner—one block east. bottle of Jaruna—fine tonic strengthening "Oh, it's that Fix email store. There's a —it will help you." good line of remedies. They are depend- "Say, do you know," said the cigar count able." er clerk as I stopped in the office, "that 1 "You said a mouthful, boss. Us couldn't suffered the tortures of the damned last keep house without dem. Dey's sure got night. It was just about 9 o'clock when I something for everything. Fixemall fixes had an attack of rheumatism—right here *em right, believe me. right in the calf of my leg. It thumped "Whose did you say it was?" just like that" whack a tremendous blow "Scrolls jess a few draps and you lift with his closed right hand into the palm of dem right out. Pains surtamly says good- his left hand, "and that!" whack, whack. bye 'mediately." "It was fearful." "Yes, it's hot stuff," said my barber. "1 I hung tightly to the counter and gazed certainly fixed a bunion that bothered me about wildly. There was no help in sight. for months. Just one application." I had another sinking sensation, my head re- "My baby's sick this morning," chirped volved like an aeroplane propeller, and ! another face polisher. "Poor little thing began to feel shooting pains in the calves of fretful, feverish, and irritable." my legs. "Didju call a doc ?" asked my barber. "How long do you suppose I stood it," said "Nope. Just gave the little fellow a good the clerk. "About three minutes. Then I big dose of castor oil. Guess he did not opened a prescription pint. And say, after thing it good the way he fought it. But it ihe third one I did not have a pain. Finished will fix him all right. We did what the 'he whole bloomin' pint and slept like a log. doctor always does when we call him, and Not an ache or pain this morning. It raved the bill. That helps pay for the knocked that old rheumatism silly." "turk,* all O. K.. Some J. Pierrepont, eh?" I looked up hopefully. "Syrup of Castornia's mighty fine," piped "That's the real stuff," continued the ex- an anemetic "You're next," from the side rheumatic, "that's medicine that goes right lines. "That's what we always give our kid. to the seat of the trouble." Of course, its only castor oil doped to kill "You are correct. I thought perhaps I'd 23 have to be carried upstairs. But your words ADVERTISING DEPT. give me hope let's split a pint." "You're on old top. Here, boy, run get this script filled. Hurry now." There's a cure for everything if you're sold on the idea.

CUPID'S BUSY YEAR

Cupid had a busy time in our plant the last year. Do you believe in Cupid ? Of course you do, just as The advertising department has been a you believe in Santa Claus. busy place during the year. Over a million Cupid is much older than pieces of advertising have been sent out in Santa Claus. He was addition to publicity activities in other di- shooting love darts into rections. In the past month we have sent the hearts of men and out over a hundred and fifty thousand pieces. women when Santa Claus' The illustration shows one of the tables piled great-grandfather was high with mail ready for delivery to the playing hookey and pa- post office. tronizing the old swim- min' hole. Cupid is simply a creature of the imag- ination, a mythological Deity of old Rome, Alvin White and Miss Bertha Geibe. but he has a permanent place in art and Charles Gil mo re and Miss Stella Winter. literature, and always will. He is repre- William Michel and Miss Lela Stone. sented as a cherubic boy "with little wings William Burtch and Miss Victoria Storm- and a little bow and arrow. in ger. Clyde Oldham and Miss Vera Johns. We was the son of Venus, who had more Robert Pope and Miss Helen Whitman. than woman's rights, for she was a much Lewis Bland and Miss Emily Adams. revered and powerful goddess that is in Oscar Sheppard and Miss Lucille Camron. mythology. She was a proud and haughty Clint Allen and Miss Elsie Michel. dame, and jealous at that. Psyche got on F. W. Dannewitz and Miss Mary Wright. her nerves and she ordered Cupid to lead Sidney Miller and Miss Cleo Taylor. her into an unworthy love. The little ras- Wonus McClanahan and Miss Credith cal started out honestly enough, but him- Force. self succumbed to her charms. He "fell for Royal Patterson and Miss Ruby Atkinson. her," according to the best Water Street Fred Nash and Miss Pauline Matthews. jargon. Psyche was forbidden to look upon Edward Falk and Miss Ida Kammski. Kim. It appears Cupid was playing a dark Cecil Dance and Miss Lavilla Poe. game. Being a woman, Psyche had her share George Jenkins and Miss Grace Lou rash. of curiosity, and having been told by sisters Julius A. Staudt and Miss Lola E. Johnson. she was living with a monster, she carried Lloyd Flanders and Miss Lena Arnold. a lighted lamp into his sleeping rooms. A Ralph Baldwin and Miss Ruth Davidson. crop of burning fluid on his shoulder awak- Ruby Dillman and Mrs. Cora Huber. ened him. He did not start divorce pro- Alva March and Miss Marjone Dempster. ceedings he did not have to, being so pow- Oscar Taylor and Miss Hazel Walker. erful and supported by Venus. He got Donald Burleigh and Miss Elsie Ramsey. u D and left in a huff. Venus condemned Frank Auburn and Miss Viola Benner. Psyche to miserable wandering and longing, Floyd Burns and Miss Mabel Demlo. but she was afterward reunited and made Daniel Tolly and Miss Elizabeth Duzan. an immortal. Amos Reynolds and Miss Agnes Soloski. And Cupid has been on the job ever since Roy Fleckinstein and Miss Nellie Hemrich. making matches, some good and some bad. Virgil Ellegood and Miss Lalah Rider. The following shows his victims in ou*~ Herman H. Hill and Miss Lillian Hood. o--ganization. In many cases both bride and Roland Friend and Miss Goldie Wempen. groom were employed here. In every in- William C. West and Miss Bernice Dodwell. stance at least one of the couple had em- ployment here. MASDN INCREASES THE OUTPUT MARRIAGES IN 1922 The following conversation took place between Lewis Runion and Miss Elma Nieff. Bobbie Mueller and Bill Gustin, while riding in a Arthur Hubbard and Miss Reba Beal. street car at Cincinnati, on the 24th of Novem- ber in the presence of Mason: James N. Porter and Miss Nina Chasco. Bobbie—"There were 7,000,000,000 Chesterfield Ralph Slayback and Miss Bessie Gray. c'ga rettes smoked during I 922—" Lewis M. Reynolds and Miss Lillian Col- Bill—"During 1923 there will be 7,000,000,002, lins. since Mason has started smoking." 24 (Continued from Page I 8) OUR LIBRARY

Pennsylvania's new stadium, recently dedicated, Martie, the Unconquered Barney Marty, seating capacity 50,000, cost $750,000. Martie, the Desirous Johny Marty. Columbia University's new stadium will be along slightly different lines. The cost will be $3,000,- How to Be Happy 'Tho Married Bertha 000. The football stadium will seat 56,000. There White. •will be separate stadiums for athletics and base- The King of the Thundering Herd—P. H. ball. The total seating capacity will be 73,000. Rodgers. Movements are on foot in several cities to erect stadiums excelling in grandeur and seating Almost a Husband Joe Breckinridge. capacity those of colleges. Los Angeles is al The Light That Failed Melvin Overneld. ready working out a plan for such an undertaking Xid Roberts, the Undefeated Bernie Ber- with a seating capacity of 75,000. The cost will be $2,500,000. nard. Chicago's plans yet to be worked out, will excel anything yet contemplated. It calls for a struc- BIRTHS ture seating 125,000 persons and will cost $2,500,- 000. Born To Mr. and Mrs. Wilbur Garrett, The development of the idea for large stad- December II, a son. Mr. Garrett is em- iums began at Harvard twenty years ago. That ployed in the machine shops. stadium, completed in 1903, is built in the shape Born, Tuesday, November 28th, a ten- or a horseshoe. It seats 34,745 with room lor 3,000 extra seats. It cost $200,000 and was paid pound baby daughter, to Mr. and Mrs. Joe for by the alumni. Grossman. When Joe came back to work Even the Marine Corps has its new stadium a!' at noon he found a pink rattle tied on his Quantico, Va., with a seating capacity of 33,000. machine with some nice baby blue ribbon. It is one of the most unique and cheapest of ail the great arenas, built by using reclaimed Govern- ment materials. The work was done by the ma- AIN'T LOVE WONDERFUL rines. Only 10,000 seats are to be provided at first, but the eventual capacitl will be 100,000.

HOW TO MAKE "IT" U. S. Attorney Burke, Chicago, has an unidentified friend, or a person posing as such, whose chief object in life seems to be to induce him to violate the national pro- hibition act by making use of liquor making recipes which frequently arrive at the fed- eral building, addressed personally to the fed- eral prosecutor. To date, Burke has not "fallen" for any of the annoymous beer, wine and booze making recipes, but he is tempted to make use of this one which came to his desk.

The writer said in the communication: ROME'S WATER SYSTEM "Listen, fallor, har bane gude recipe." The engineers of ancient Rome excelled in the knowledge of methods and means of obtaining, "Chase bullfrog three mile and gather transporting and distributing an adequate water hops. Tu der hops add 1 0 gallon hemlock supply for all the needs of her citizens. Prior to 312 B. C. Rome was dependent upon tan bark, two quart turpentine, one pint shel- the River Tiber for her water supply; in that year lac, two bar laundry soap. Simmer gently Censor Appius Claudius constructed the first aque- for "bout sax hour; den strain thru I. W. W. duct. sox, so et wont work. Pour en brown bot- Nine aqueducts brought water into Rome at the end of the first century, some of them such tles, den add grasshopper to each bottle to as Anio Novus, were as much as 62 miles in give et gude kick. Before you took drenk, length; the earlier aqueducts were largely sub- select pall bearer, and confer with life insur- terranean ; the latter ones crossed the Campagna on series of imposing arches massively built of ance agent." concrete and stone—the water channels invariably of concrete. The costs were staggering even in those days WATCH HIS SMOKE of cheap labor and abundant slaves. The Aqua Claudia cost $2,750,000; Aqua Marchia $9,000,000; We all know Roy the total cost of the Roman aqueducts exceeded $100,000,000 in the days when gold had a purchas- CofFman about the ing power much greater than it has today. factory on we e k The elaborate Roman water system embraced days, but do you all aqueducts, reservoirs, filters and distributing know him on Sat- mains of great ingenuity and marvelous com- plexity. urday afternoon on How her engineers combined highway and water Water street. systems is well illustrated where the Porta Capena If you don't, brings the Appian Viaduct and Appian Way through the walls of Rome. *"" keep your eyes The flint-like concrete linings of the water open next Saturday. When you see a big channels of these aqueducts are in a splendid Perfecto leading a man dressed like a million state of preservation and, were the system intact, dollars, swinging along with a Fifth Avenue could be utilized today as water carriers. Some of the lesser aqueducts are still in use, having air just make one guess and you'll come supplied Rome with, water for over two thousand out 100 per cent perfect—it will be Roy. years. 25 HUNTING ON THE OKAW

On the Okaw swiftly flowing few around the plant who do, not excepting Sits the Mueller Hunting Lodge. company members." It's there we go to fish and hunt A do Ip h was a member of the first party And the cares of business dodge. iemaining for several days and then returned to the office to look after some important November has been a busy month at the business matters demanding his attention. Mueller Lodge on the Okaw river, which has On November 23 rd he hiked back accom- become one of the most popular of social panied by W. G. Bachman, Oscar Dawson and recreation activities. 1 he duck and and Vere Browriback. quail season may have been responsible for The quail shooting has been fairly good this, but with these subtracted it has a great and the party secured a few ducks. These appeal to busy men who wish to elude the with rabbits and squirrels supplied ample incessant urging of modern business. There rame for the table. is plenty of diversion there for those who A picture of the Lodge surrounded by do not hunt or fish. The company members photos of the hunters is shown herewith. all like a day a-fie Id, especially Philip, who In the upper left corner is Fred and the is reckoned as one of the good hunters of dog he presented to Phil. The "game" does this section. He spent the entire month of not show, but will be in evidence as soon as September there. Fred and Bob and Frank supper is served and the lights are turned Cruikshank made their first pilgrimage and out. came back delighted. Fred was only partly In the upper left cor- converted to the beauties of the spot. ner is Fred and the dog And then there was the dog. Fred says he he presented to Phil. The bought the beast for $60 with the under- "game" does not show, standing that Phil would pay for the animal but will be in evidence as with quail. So far a partial payment of one soon as supper is served quail has been made. "And that is not all," and the lights are turned adds Fred, "when it came on the table it out. was burned and 1 got no benefit at all from In the upper right hand it." corner the hunters are "This camping life is great, ' he continued, shown with Frank W. Cruikshank, Philip Muel- "and it's a fast life, too. I went down there ler, Robert Mueller, Frank with a shirt and a two dollar bill and did Mattison, and Fred B, not change either one. No, I don t think Mueller. I shall go again. I've always been willing In the lower left pic- to try anything once, but once of this camp- ture shows a corner of ing life should satisfy anyone for the rest the sleeping quarters with of his days. its fourteen beds, and the "It's all right if you like it, 1 guess, and lower right hand corner I am free to confess that there are quite a is a glimpse of the river. 26 In the center is a picture of Bob and the SCENE ON THE OKAW cook. Bob s propensities for detail led to a nasal examination of a piece of limburger cheese left over from a previous trip. Picked up unconscious, he was himself again after an hour. Now when any one says cheese, Bob gets pale around the gills. A snapshot of Adolph with gun in hand and the dog is shown in the body of the article. He did not join the party until after the group pictures were taken.

OSCAR COMMENTS ON HUNTERS

A set of photographs like those shown at the head of this article was sent to Oscar The Okaw river has its source up in Piatt B. Mueller at the Port Huron plant. county and flows southeasterly through Now Oscar is some hunter and fisher him- Moult rie, Shelby, Fayette to Chester, 111., self, and naturally on examining the photo- where, as the historic Kaskaskia river, it graphs he noted the absence of anything discharges into the Mississippi. that looked like game. It's a picturesque stream in Fayette coun- Here are a few extracts from his letter ty, following a winding course through high acknowledging the photographs: banks, and an occasional stretch of flat coun- It si) rely looks like some outfit, and I would try. The point at which this photo was en joy being with the gang. Hope some day that taken is about 1 00 feet from the Mueller this will be possible. 1 note the several groups of hunters, but do not hunting lodge, and is just above a point see any pa me. Presume they went there to take where the river makes a sharp bend. photographs of quail, rabbits, etc., as photo- graohinq: of wild game without shooting it, seems to he the latest fad nowadays. That sure was a great picture of Fred and THE BATH TUB IN AMERICA the dog on the back step of the cabin. The first American bathtub was installed December 20, I 842, in Cincinnati by Adam Oscar's idea of a gameless hunt corre- Thompson. It was made of mahogany and sponds to that of a former state governor lined with sheet lead. At a Christmas well known in Decatur. He left his country party he gave an exhibition of its use, and place one evening to join a party of guests four guests took a plunge. who had gone to the timber to hunt 'coons. The next day the Cincinnati papers dis- After killing a few moments time he con- cussed the invention, and violent controversy cluded it was apropos of the occasion to kill was provoked. Some papers designated it a few drinks. an epicurean luxury, others as undemocratic, "Where's the 'licker'? " he asked. as it lacked simplicity in surroundings. Med- "Haven't got any, governor," replied the ical authorities attacked it as dangerous to leader of the hunt. health, a certain inviter of rheumatism, "Well, this is the damndest 'coon hunt I fevers and inflammation of the lungs. ever attended, and I've been to quite a few, The controversy soon reached other cities eaid the ex-statesman. and in more than one place medical opposi- And with that remark he headed for home. tion "was reflected in legislation. Late in 1 843 the Philadelphia common THE BEST CURE council considered an ordinance prohibiting bathing between November 1 and March 15, If you are poor — work. and the ordinance failed of passage by but If you are rich - continue to work. two votes. If you are burdened with seemingly unfair During the same year the legislature of re.Tionsibilities - \vork. Virginia laid a tax of $30.00 a year for all If you are happy - keep right on working. bathtubs. Idleness gives room for doubts and fears. In Hartford, Providence, Charleston and If disappointments come - work. Wilmington, Del., heavy rates were laid on If sorrow overwhelms you, and loved ones rro^le who had bathtubs. Boston, early in seem not true - work. 1845, made bathing unlawful except on medi- When faith falters and reason fails - just cal advice, but the ordinance was never en- work. forced and in 1 862 it was repealed. When dreams are shattered and hope President Millard Fillmore gave the bath- eeems dead - work. Work as if your life tub recognition. While vice-president he were in peril. It really is. visited Cincinnati, in 1850, and inspected the No matter what ails you, work. original bathtub, and used it. On becoming Work faithfully - work with faith. r*resident he had a bathtub installed in the Work is the greatest material edy White House. This tub continued to be used available. until the first Cleveland administration. Work will ciare both mental and physical And now one can hardly wait until Sat- afflictions. - Selected. urday night for a bath. 27 nooi)<^^o0(>)io

o0(K^=>)0<=^

In connection with the state road pageant Tuesday, November 28th, celebrating the completion of the hard road connecting Springfield and Chicago via Decatur and Danville, the Danville Commercial published an article, which, though slightly incorrect in some details, is nevertheless interesting as a matter of automobile history. The pageant was a great demonstration. It depicted the development of transporta- tion from the "Gee-Haw" days of ox teams to the modern automobile. The Danville Commercial article referred to is as follows: Time was when it took a benzine buggy a full day to make the trip from Decatur to this city. Now, with the completion of the last gap in the concrete paved highway, near Mil mine, which This is a wood engraving of "The Pioneer Auto- makes a continuous passage from Ma con county mobile" showing the owner, the late Hienonymus here or back, and the abolition of the last detour, Mueller and his son, Oscar B. Mueller, in the rear on Saturday, it is possible to make the journey seat. The occupants of the front seat are the late with an ordinary automobile in three hours. Henry Mueller and Robert Mueller.

REMEMBERS EVENT WELL A Commercial-News reporter well remembers the road. The highways between the public square advent of the first automobile in this city from and the overhead bridge at the south end of South Decatur. It was in the late fall of 1897. One Danville began to take on a human fringe that of the Muellers, of Decatur, then running a small thickened as the day went along. It was a long, plumbing fixture shop, developed a machine that hard wait, made interesting though tiresome, by •was run by steam, heated by a small boiler. The false reports that the car had shown up at Tilton machine could not be called an automobile, fur- and would soon be here. Wabash engineers and ther than in the sense that it ran without the aid trainmen had reported seeing the car on the high- of man or animal power. It looked more like ways alongside of the railway tracks, and they a high-seated buggy, cut in under the single seat predicted Mueller would soon reach the city, but in order that the forward wheels could make a the dust of the city was settling in the twilight shorter turn. In this space was the boiler. The when Mueller finally arrived. wheels were high light buggy wheels that would not last a half hour under the strain of present day driving. The tires were half round rubber. GIVEN AN OVATION It had a steering apparatus like the handle of a rudder, except that it extended forwa rd instead He was given an ovation all along the line and, escorted by the Cycling Club, moved up Main of to the back of the buggy. Mueller had been all summer building the wagon street to the public square, then north on Ver- and trying it out on the streets of Decatur, and m ill ion street to North, thence east on North to one fine day in September, or perhaps later, when Hazel, where the machine was taken into the shop the roads were fine, he decided on the trio. Due of Robert Holmes, then located at the southeast notice was sent here and the members of the Dan- corner of Hazel and North, and locked up for the night. Mueller was taken over to the Plaza Hotel, ville Cycling Club made ready to give the dar:ng dirt navigator a rousing reception. The event got where he was the guest of honor at a banquet. a tremendous lot of free advertising in the paners. Men prominent in the city toasted him and pre- Nearly all of the newsnaper men owned wheels d^cted some great things if the contraption would and they were personally interested in the suc- only work, but none of them foresaw the paved roads or the highly developed auto of the present cess of the venture, because they knew it won1 d mean better roads, a thing they had been wor'^'ne; Hay. They spoke of the machine as a costlv for but had been able to accompliah little. B-it plaything that could be owned only by some man it is doubtful if there is any one of them •who had of wealth with a considerable knowledge of me- chanics. ever realized that the automobile wo"3d prove the useful carrier that it has been to the human And now, just 25 years after Mueller's first trip, race, revolutionizing transportation methods and they are burning up the distance between Decatur bridging time and distance. find Danville in three hours and some of the more daring ones take less than that.

LEFT AT DAWN The late Hieronymus Mueller did not build On the day that Mr. Mueller was to start the this "benzine buggy, motor-cycle, or horse- trip he arranged to leave Decatur for this city less carriage," as it was variously called in as soon as the first streaks of dawn showed in 'he eastern sky. He knew it was going to be a those days, because the word automobile hard task to get through before late in the after- •was still unknown, but did build a number noon. And so it proved, of machines later. The Danville Cycling Club mustered a'l of the The machine driven in those days was members it was able and went out to Til ton to meet the da ring motorist. They had reckoned imported from Germany, and he did in a from the advance notices of the wonderful ma- Hre^e measure improve it by rebuilding. No chine that the distance might be negotiated by 9'rshm ever created as much excitement as one or two o'clock in the afternoon, the car being able to make fifteen miles an hour, without dednc- this "motor-cycle" when it appeared on the tions for repairs and other inconveniences on the streets. An illustration of this car is pub-

28 * „

lished! with this article. It has always been RECLASSIFIED a matter of regret that we did not preserve A school teacher in a Western town, wish- this car. It was sold here in Decatur and ing to extend her rather scanty knowledge used on the streets for many years even af- of the stories of Edgar Allen Poe, inquired ter modern automobiles came into general at the delivery desk of the rural library for use. "The Gold Bug," adding, "I can't seem to find it in the catalog, but I am sure you have OLDER BOYS' CONFERENCE it. A friend of mine had it out last week.' The librarian glanced at the card-catalog drawer over which the teacher had been por- Two Mueller Boys Attend Interesting Gather- ing, and smiled a superior smile. "No won- ing at Peoria. der, Miss Smith," she explained with patient gentleness. "You're looking under "Fiction." Turn to 'Entomology* and you won't have Evart Zetterlind and Ed- any trouble." The Argonaut (San Fran- ward Kushmer were sent to cisco) . Peoria December I -3 to at- tend the Older Boys' Con- ference. It was a fine meet- BETTER WITH AGE ing. These delegates made Some of this news is two weeks old, but excellent reports, showing that just makes it stronger. Plainfield Cor- that they got lots of good out of the meet- respondence of the Magnolia (Ark.) News. ings. The report of Evart Zetterlind is given herewith. The one made by Edward Kush- mer will be published next month. VERSATILE BUG The Older Boys' Conference is a convention at Teacher "Now tell me the name of the which a group of boys meet once a year in some large city in the State. They meet in the interests insect which is first a tank and then an air- of the Young Men's Christian Association, which plane." they would like more employed boys to join. The Pupil "It's the caterpillar, which changes H. Mueller Mfg. Co. is much in accord with this and enables boys under 16 years of age to hold into a butterfly." L, Illustration (Paris). membership in the organization, provided each boy pays five dollars himself, for which they will con- tribute the other half. MIXING THE SENTENCE Two Mueller boys attended the conference this A learned professor tells us there is a mod- year and they went for the good of bringing back some of the main points brought out at the con- ern tendency among the aristocracy to drop ference. We want to get some of the factory their h's. Perhaps this accounts for the fact boys into the Y. M. C. A. and get a group of that the Kaiser has been led to the altar in- employed boys from the different factories and form a club like the Mueller Triangles. Such stead of to the halter! Eve (London). clubs as these are called the Employed Boys Brotherhood. The trip to Peoria was a very fine one. We started from Decatur about 9:15 and as soon LIZZIE THE VAMP as we got on the train we started singing songs. We sang until we reached Blooming ton. There some of the boys got off to buy candy and apples and stayed too long. The car started up and there was a merry race right down the center of town and all got on after a long chase. Going into Peoria, we had to cross a long bridge and we took a great many views from the bridge. We finally arrived in heoria at I :45. We then went to the Y. M. C. A. and got our assignments to the home which we were to stay in. The people were very nice and friendly and gave us privileges that many other homes could not give. Then we went back to town to the First Methodist Church where the Conference was held. At six o'clock a banquet was given at the Shriners' Temple at which 1175 people were pres- ent. The Mayor, Chief Engineer and all the main men of Peoria were the waiters. Men's quartets sang and gave speeches. On Saturday afternoon men in different auto- mobiles took us through the beautiful Bradley and Glen Oak Parks and we rode on one of the best streets in town, known as Moss Street. We also went up the Chillocothe, the structure of iron built seven or eight stories high, and looked out over the Illinois River and all the lovely scenes. In the evening we went back to the Church where we heard many good speeches and a lot of good singing which was the life of the Confer- ence. At 9:30 Sunday evening we started for home. Some of the boys got homesick and started home about five o'clock, but the rest of us held up. 1 know now why they gave you a she We also sang songs on the way home. 1 think name instead of a he name. Nothing but a we all had the best time we ever had. And we woman could be as contrary as you are or all thank the men in Peoria for showing us such require as much coaxing. Ezra Kendall a good time. EVART ZETTERLIND. Shaw. 29

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The report of the Pacific Coast Branch SUPPLY YOUR OWN MORAL for the year 1922 will show it to be the best Chicago names its principal streets after year since its establishment in 1913. The Presidents. Philadelphia names hers after large increase in volume of I 92 I is more nuts. Princeton Tiger. pronounced when the lower prices of 1 922 are taken into consideration. The inventory for this year was taken on PELICAN November 3 Oth, and was handled so well A clever old bird is the pelican, and finished so promptly that Manager Leary Whose bill will hold more than his bellican. celebrated the wind-up with a dinner and He can keep in his beak theater party for the employees. They Food enough for a week, showed their ability to dispose of their good And darned if 1 see how the hellecan. repast thoroughly as they did on inventory. Mont Henderson, able Assistant Manager, has become a regular "native son," and in CRUEL SKEPTIC the short time he has been here, he now Magistrate "Last time you were here 1 steps out in the rain with his overcoat open told you I hoped never to see you again." and his hat on the back of his head, and Delinquent "Yes, sir, 1 know, sir but 1 rays "he likes it." Well, we always figured couldn't get the constable to believe me!" Mont "wet." The Passing Show (London). The Pacific Coast Branch of the American Water Works Association held this year's meeting in Oakland. Mr. Leary and Mr. Marker attended. This was Harry's first FROM A LINE 'O TYPE water works convention, and he was so busy the first dav he missed several engagements. Bright auips, keen satire, and real senti- The next day he showed up with an alarm ment find their way into the Chicago Tribune clock, which seemed to be a great protection column under the above heading. to him. Here follow two selections touching on The East Bay Water Company were won- Christmas: derful hosts, and it was due principally to THIS DAY their untiring efforts that the convention was I am man's love for his fellow man. I banish misery, cold, fright, cheerless ness, hunger, and a great success. It was one of the best con- poverty from my presence. I bring joy, thanks- 17entions we have ever attended, the papers giving, renew faith and hope. being espec-ally interesting to all. I enter into the hearts of those who toil and are weary and bring them rest and refreshment. I Being anxious to close the year with a j^ive renewed strength, belief and gladness to those food December, the salesmen were called on who stagger under their crosses. for extra efforts. Every one of them re- For 1 am Love and my handmaiden is Charity. sponded. Bill Jett in particular sent in some 1 strive to prevent little children from receiv- ing the harsh blows of life which will strike them very fine orders. all too soon. I make them laugh and shout and Lloyd Logsdon is driving a coupe. He distract their minds with pretty bai-bles, colors, got pinched the other day and talked him- f-ames. toys, and evergreen trees. These things are all my symbols—the symbols of giving that self out of it. Lloyd is a good salesman. one may receive. Manager Leary is on a short trip with Bill I am the reminder of the birth of One who Heinrichs in the Northwest. We are some- d'ed for all mankind and who was the Great Giver. what worried, as Bill is driving a car, and I am the Christmas Spirit. as you know he talks with both hands. We URSUS. ^ re a little afraid of both of them going in the ditch. DOC EVANS' COL. The sales campaign on regulators is bring- (From tomorrow's Trib.) ing some great results. The plumbing trade 0. K.. writes: "I felt heavy and sluggish all of Appreciates the value and necessity for regu- Ch ristmas afternoon. My nao was much broken. I saw a blue turkey with yellow polka dots, with lators on all installations where the water an immense mince pie on his head. The turkey IP over the domestic pressure of 40 pounds. kent Del ting me with cranberries as large as a We have placed large orders with the fac- Hi-shel basket. I feel as though I never wan^d lo see a turkey again. Do you think I will? tory in order to take care of the increasing When?" demand. REPLY OH, YOU LITTLE VAMP 1. Yes. Yea. Verily. Of a certainty. 2. Cold turkey. (Probably Sunday night's (We Have All Met Her) supoer.) Curses on thee, little "Vamp," 3. Turkey croquettes. (Monday, all day.) With thv fascinating lamp, 4. Hash. (Tuesday, all day.) WUh thy little sawed-off skirt. 5. Hash. (Wednesday, breakfast and supper.) And abbreviated shirt; 6. Something from chapter 22 in the cook With thine arms and shoulders bare honk, "Dainty Dishes from Odds and Ends." And thy limbs at which 1 stare, (Thursday). With thy form so full of life, 7. You will recover, but what's the use? In I almost forget my wife. a week comes New Year's dinner. —A. B. Chapman. 30 NATIONAL CONVENTIONS

THE MYSTERIOUS FAUCET Where does ihe wo.i:er come from ? H. MUELLER MFG. Co.

Our company Is always represented at business may change its mind in an instant the national conventions of the American as to the manufacturer's business methods Water Works Association, the American Gas and policies, while the manufacturer or his Association and the National Association of representatives see their customer or desired Master Plumbers. customer in a new light and with a new un- These gatherings are of great import- derstanding. Barriers that have existed ance to each of the trades they represent, through misunderstanding or lack of ac- to the manufacturer and to the public. This quaintance are swept aside in an instant. influence is three-fold. The hand clasp, the square look in the eye, For the members they promote a better a word of explanation is all the magic that understanding of trade practice, an invalu- is necessary. able interchange of ideas which quite fre- The public is benefited through the ad- quently results in a betterment of conditions dresses and discussions because these tell both locally and nationally. New men in him plainly and honestly why certain con- the field acquire through addresses of spe- ditions exist, why certain policies are neces- cialists and subsequent discussions, ideas and sary, and especially that the dealer or the knowledge which otherwise would be denied manufacturer is not a highwayman out to them except through personal experience, rob the public or the individual, but a ser- frequently punctuated by expensive errors vitor anxious to please and help him. The of judgment. The social side is no less displays bring to the attention of the public profitable. The little man is brought in con- the newest things in the particular line tact with the big man. The one sometimes shown, create in his mind a desire to posses learns that the "big" man is just an average it and at some time, somewhere, make him fellow while the "big" man by the same a customer of some dealer. token finds that the little fellow is away And this is why our company and other above the average. It is mutually profitable. companies spend hundreds and thousands of The manufacturer profits by displaying his dollars each year attending conventions. The wares to his customers who are known to displays made by some dealers are elaborate, him only by names on his ledger. He gets some are mediocre and some average up. their attention by showing new things, and Our displays are not elaborate, perhaps, but is enabled to meet the most influential men they are not mediocre; but they don't aver- in a friendly way whose doors in business age down. We try to improve them each hours are sealed against his representatives. year. Here also the social factor plays an import- The illustration of our display at the Gas ant part. The manufacturer or his repre- convention, held on the Steel Pier, Atlantic sentative meets the big and little men on City, shows what we are trying to do. The equal footing. If he makes a good impres- faucet running a constant stream of water sion the trade which has known him only with no visible means of supply is simple through the rigid and restricted avenues of in the extreme. The faucet, one of our 31 %-inch E 2450, was suspended in a small case by wires. From the spout there was OWNERS OF THE SOIL a constant flow of water. It was said re- peatedly that it was the cleverest thing in the exhibit. The biggest and most influential The man who owns land is imbued with men in the gas business gave minutes to it a consciousness of his citizenship, of his re- trying to fathom the trick, and exhibitors sponsibilities to his government, to his friends came and tried to figure it out, and the pub- and neighbors. This may be truer of the lic gaped and blocked the aisle. farmer than the city lot owner, but even But in the end they were all like the young the latter, has a marked feeling of being a English tourist who wouldn't give up. He bigger, better part of the community. This hung around for twenty minutes, looked, thought has been frequently advanced in our thumped and tapped every pipe and every meetings when we have urged members of piece of wood and finally gave up by saying: the Mueller industrial family to acquire their "Bah-Jove, 1 'aven't twigged it yet." own homes. It seems appropriate, therefore, to quote JACK GUNTHER the panegyric of Edward Everett on the life of the farmer. Mr. Everett was an American "Stop a minute, Jack; stand just as of culture, elegance and scholarship. He you are until I take your picture." was a clergyman, president of Harvard Col- "All right young fellow, but be quick; lege, a congressman and senator, governor I've got work to do." of Massachusetts, minister to Great Britain, That's Jack. We all know him and his secretary of state and editor of the North wheelbarrow, but we American Review. Born in I 794 he died don't all know his in I 865, but what he said of "the Owners name—Jack Gun- ther. of the Soil" still lives and should live for- Jack is a Ken- ever. Read it: tuckian, and there The man who stands upon his own was a time when his soil, who feels that, by the law of the six feet two was an land in which he lives, he is the rightful awe-inspiring figure and exclusive owner of the land which in a mix-up, because he tills, feels more strongly than an- back of that figure other the character of a man as the was the courage and lord of an inanimate world. Of this the willingness to great and wonderful sphere, which, "mix it" if neces- fashioned by the hand of God, and up- sary in a fair stand held by His power, is rolling through up and take your the heavens, a part is his his from medicine argument. the center of the sky! It is the space Years have left their imprint on Jack, but on which the generation before moved they have not diminished his willingness and in its round of duties, and he feels him- readiness to work, and we imagine that if self connected by a visible link with irritated, the old-time fire would flash in his those who follow him, and to whom he eye and he would defend his rights against is to transit a home. odds if need be. Perhaps his farm has come down tc Jack thinks as he works, and just recently him from his fathers. They have gone he uttered some bits of philosophy which to their last home; but he can trace proves it: their footsteps over the scenes of his "Nature is a fine old dame at that and daily labors. The roof which shelters treats us well enough," he said, "but at that him was reared by those to whom he there are some things in the scheme of cre- owes his being. Some interesting do- ation which seem to me could have been im- mestic tradition is connected with ev- proved. How much better it would have ery inclosure. The favorite fruit-tree been had health and happiness been made was planted by his father's hand. He contagious instead of diseases." sported in boyhood beside the brook which still winds through the meadow. Through the field lies the path to the DID YOU EVER STOP TO THINK THAT— village school of earlier days. He still While the banks close for a holiday, hears from the window the voice of the While the stores shut up shop for Sunday, While the grocer says, "We have some or- Sabbath-bell, which called his fathers dered," to the house of God; and near at hand While the coal man tells you to wait awhile, is the spot where his parents lay down While the merchant moves to another town, While labor in other industries is on strike, to rest, and where, when his time has While the manufacturer goes out of business, come, he shall be laid by his children. While the butcher makes you take something These are the feelings of the owners else. of the soil. Words cannot paint them While the farmer says, "I'll sell when prices go up," gold cannot buy them; they flow out Your gas, electric light, telephone, street car of the deepest fountains of the heart; and water supply companies keep right on serv- they are the very life-springs of a fresh, ing the public, rich and poor alike, 365 % days, 8,766 hours a year?—Southwestern Waterworks healthy, and generous national char- Journal. acter. 32 <£tfristmas Carol

means this glorq round our feet," Magi mused, "more bright than morn?" J(nd uoices chanted clear and sweet, "Cfodaq the Prince of Peace is born."

"Qjhat means that star," the Shepherds said, "CThat brightens through the rocky glen?" Jlnd angels, answering overhead, Sang, "Peace on earth, good will to men."

they u?ho do their souls no wrong, But keep at eue the faith of morn, Shall daily hear the angel^song, the Prince of Peace is born." -James Russell Loujetl