B NDINGS Vol. 37 No. 3 A Publication of New Ways Ministry Summer 2018 Pope says God made people just as we should be – Here’s why his comments matter By Ruth Hunt to reconcile with their identity. Some The Guardian people will say that LGBT people can’t London, England exist in faith communities; that faith May 21, 2018 communities don’t accept same-sex relationships or those whose gender It is immensely powerful to hear that doesn’t match the one that they were , the leader of the Roman assigned at birth. Some believe that , reportedly told Juan LGBT people can and should be “cured.” Carlos Cruz, a gay man: “God made you As a result of these beliefs, LGBT people like this and loves you like this.” often need to find a way to God despite Cruz is a survivor of clerical abuse their leaders, rather than because of who spoke privately with the pope a few them. But the pope’s reported words are weeks ago, and has since reported his a striking affirmation that LGBT people conversation to of faith belong in church and Spanish in religious communities. newspapers. His I have never felt excluded abuser, Fernando from the church and have al- Karadima, was ways been made to feel wel- found guilty of come. But I have met many abuse by the people who have had different Juan Carlos Cruz Vatican in 2011. experiences; people who have As a practising been damaged by being told Catholic, I find it to deny their sexuality or who church and LGBT people who have felt apparent openness mirrored by others in deeply moving to feel rejected by God. rejected and excluded from it. Many the Roman Catholic church. I want to have Pope Fran- Churches can be unifying religious communities, groups and places live in a world where all people will be cis appear to con- spaces. Religions teach that of worship already include LGBT peo- accepted – for their beliefs, their faith, firm what many God is love, so it should be ple. The church accepts that LGBT peo- their sexual orientation, their gender Cath-olics already Ruth Hunt integral that all members of ple exist, but I want us to get to a point identity and everything else – without know to be true: God the community and their rela- where our love is recognised as being as exception. The words of Pope Francis to made us just as we should be, there are tion-hips are respected. Just as LGBT valid as any other. While we have a way Juan Carlos Cruz give me hope that we no mistakes. people need respect and acceptance in of celebrating our love through civil are moving in that direction.  , gay, bi and trans people wider society, they also need to be partnerships and same-sex marriage, we exist in every community, from every included in their faith communities. also need to keep working to allow Ruth Hunt is the chief executive of ethnic background and in every religion. Francis’s reported words can help to LGBT people of faith to marry in church Stonewall UK , the leading LGBT However, religion can often be the area build bridges between the Catholic and declare their love in the eyes of God. equality organization, in the UK. of life that people find the most difficult I would like to see the pope’s Youth Synod Document Shows Vatican Evolution on LGBT Topics By Francis DeBernardo have a desire to be part of the church. In known to the Vatican online. In The National Catholic Reporter has Bondings 2.0 one section, the document states: “some the Instrumentum Laboris, the Vatican noted that at the press conference releas- NewWaysMinistry.org/blog LGBT youth … wish to benefit from acknowledges that many youth ing the Instrumentum Laboris, Cardinal June 20, 2018 greater closeness and experience greater expressed disagreement with the Lorenzo Baldisseri “said his office de- care from the Church.” church’s teaching on a range of cided to make the Vatican’s first use of The Vatican has reached three new This acknowlegement is a welcome sexuality topics, including homo- the LGBT acronym to refer to gay peo- milestones in its evolution toward a change from the hierarchy’s traditional sexuality. This acknowledgement ple because the March pre-synodal greater dialogue with the LGBT com- rhetoric that suggests LGBT people are indicates a realistic perspective on the meeting of young people used the term munity. opposed to religion. As New Ways Vatican’s part, unlike at the 2015 Synod and his office was ‘diligent’ about In the Instrumentum Laboris, a Ministry knows from over 40 years of on the Family where only people who respecting the young people’s work.” preparatory document released on June pastoral work with the LGBT com- agreed with church teaching were Yet, we also have to wonder if this th 19 which lays out the direction for the munity, LGBT Catholics have a deep invited to address the bishops. development may possibly be traced to New Ways Ministry wel- the effect that Fr. James Martin’s comes these developments and book Building a Bridge: How the Cath- prays that the Vatican will make olic Church and the LGBT Community real its intriguing acknowledge- Can Enter into a Relationship of Re- ments of youth and LGBT real- spect, Compassion, and Sensitivity has ity by having an open and free had on church discussions. In that text, discussion of these issues at the which is based on a talk Fr. Martin gave synod. at a New Ways Ministry event, the Jes- While these three develop- uit priest asks church leaders, as a sign ments are welcome changes in of respect, to use the LGBT commun- the church’s of discourse, ity’s vocabulary for self-identification: it must be noted that there is “. . . [R]espect means calling a noth-ing in the new document group what it asks to be called. . . . which indicates that the Vatican Names are important. Thus, church is, as yet, willing to entertain leaders are invited to be attentive to how changes in church policy on they name the L.G.B.T. community and LGBT is-sues. The furthest lay to rest phrases like ‘afflicted with they have gone is to indicate a same-sex attraction,’ which no L.G.B.T. willingness to work towards person I know uses, and even ‘homo- being a “community open and sexual person,’ which seems overly welcoming towards all.” This clinical to many. I’m not prescribing pastoral approach is important, what names to use, though ‘gay and but the Church’s outreach lesbian, ‘L.G.B.T.’ and ‘L.G.B.T.Q.’ are cannot end there. the most common. I’m saying that The proof of the Vatican’s October 2018 Synod on Youth in , spirituality, often forged by remarkable people have a right to name themselves. openness to LGBT issues will be how Using those names is part of respect.” the Vatican for the first time used the journeys overcoming rejection, aliena- these topics are addressed at the Synod acronym “LGBT” to describe individuals tion, and marginalization. LGBT Cath- Martin’s book has been praised by itself: Will LGBT youths be repre- church leaders around the globe, with diverse sexualities and gender ident- olics have stayed a part of the church, sented as speakers to the assembly? Will ities. Similar to 2013 when Pope Fran- despite statements and actions which including Cardinal Kevin Farrell, the voices expressing dissent on LGBT is- head of the Vatican’s Dicastery for cis became the first pope to use the word have offended and hurt them. sues be allowed by speakers who ad- “gay,” this change in language signals A third development is that the Laity, Family and Life which plays a dress the bishops? If the Vatican does significant role in the Synod on that church officials are beginning to document shows that Vatican officials not enact such changes at the upcoming understand that they have to treat LGBT paid attention to concerns about LGBT Youth. In fact, Farrell wrote a blurb for synod, the language of the Instrumentum  people with simple respect by referring issues which were raised by youth at the book’s jacket cover. Laboris will go down in history as lip- to them with more accurate terms. a pre-synod meeting in Rome during Another significant development is March of this year, and also from youth service—which youth are keenly adept the acknowledgement that LGBT people around the world who made their views at recognizing. Page 2 BONDINGS Vol. 37, No. 3 “Intrinsically Disordered”: How We Got There, B NDINGS Why It Matters, and What To Do About It Summer 2018 Vol. 37, No. 3 By Cristina Traina Of course, there are gradations of sin-as-disorder. On Bondings 2.0 this logic, sex that can produce offspring (opposite-sex Francis DeBernardo, Editor NewWaysMinistry.org/blog vaginal fornication, adultery, rape, etc.) may at least May 9, 2018 achieve procreation imperfectly, outside marriage. So it Board of Directors does not disrespect God’s created order as gravely as sex Jeannine Gramick, SL, Chair Geek alert: theological history ahead! that by definition cannot reproduce: masturbation, contra- Ryan Sattler A while ago, I wrote about an English translation ceptive sex, bestiality, and same-sex unions. Scholastic problem in the 1986 Letter to the Bishops of the Catholic moral theology sees these acts and desires as intrinsically Board of Advisors Church on the Pastoral Care of Homosexual Persons that disordered because they don’t aim even implicitly at pro- Dr. Jerry Fath changed the meaning of a significant passage. A number creation. Cornelius Hubbuch, CFX of readers pointed out that correcting this little error would From the scholastic perspective, then, same-sex attract- Rev. James Kiesel not come close to undoing the document’s dominant tion is mainly a category error, a tendency that makes no Anna Koop, SL language (and thinking) of intrinsic, objective, moral sense according to God’s plan for creation. It’s not a sin, Anne Marie Miller, RSM disorder. or a physical or psychological illness, but it is an intrinsic Claire Pluecker Surprisingly, people from across the theological disorder, as in basic dis-order, as in a self-evident mis- spectrum agree. Even some who energetically support direction. The moral disorder is pursuing this obviously Cristina Traina Vatican teaching and take a strong tone against same-sex mistaken desire as if it were a good. It’s an active choice relationships oppose the term (for instance blogger Aaron against God’s objective plan. Staff Taylor). James Martin, S.J.decries it. More recently, Bob This mode of thinking about sex became Church policy Francis DeBernardo, Executive Director Shine reported that Irish journalist Ursula Halligan had in 1879, when Pope Leo XIII was looking for a way to Matthew Myers, Associate Director called such language “vile.” found a pro-labor theology in something besides Robert Shine, Associate Director Why is this the one thing on Marx. Leo’s encyclical Aeterni Dwayne Fernandes, Staff Associate which Catholics who agree about little Patris used Thomas Aquinas not only else can find common ground? to start the ball rolling on what we now Co-Founders Possibly because we agree on one call Catholic social teaching but also to Sr. Jeannine Gramick, SL other thing: the label of intrinsic, set the exclusive standard of orthodoxy Rev. Robert Nugent, SDS objective moral disorder doesn’t fit for all of Catholic theology. In the anyone who gets up every morning process Leo swept all other approaches Bondings is a seasonal publication designed committed to inhabiting God’s love, to theology off the table. The upshot to keep our subscribers informed of issues justice, and wisdom. We are all was that Thomas’s description of per- flawed, we all fall short, but intrinsic- that pertain to LGBT people sons, ends, acts, and objects was now ally disordered? That’s a hard one to the only game in town. Moral the- and the Catholic Church. take. So how did the Congregation of ology had to be expressed in Thom- the Doctrine of the Faith arrive at this istic, scholastic analytical concepts, Founded in 1977, New Ways Ministry destructive language, why is it still like “well-ordered” and “disordered” is an educational and bridge-building employed, and what should we do acts and desires. ministry of reconciliation between the about it? The main point of the tale is But when Vatican Council II Catholic LGBT community that we’re here because of some odd finally broke the Thomistic theological and the institutional structures twists of history that can hardly be logjam (for instance, replacing Thom- in the Roman Catholic Church. considered the final word and that we Cristina Traina as’s ideal of monarchy with demo- shouldn’t accept as fixed. cracy), individual moral theology was New Ways Ministry seeks to eradicate only slightly affected. With the promulgation of Humanae prevalent myths and stereotypes How we got here vitae (the birth control encyclical) in 1968, it became clear about homosexuality and gender identity Throughout early Christian history, theology— that the fresh air of aggiornamento had had the least effect and supports civil rights for LGBT persons including moral theology, or ethics—was a hot mess of of all on the Vatican’s moral teaching on sexuality. The varied approaches, just as Europe and the Mediterranean in society. result is that, despite Humane Vitae’s addition of the “uni- world were a shifting, hot mess of cultures, states, and tive” dimension of sex, the Congregation for the Doctrine empires. If theologians said something impossibly far of the Faith still views sex as being first and foremost out and gathered a following, they were likely to be about procreation. With the 1975 Persona humana and its New Ways Ministry anathematized. But in general, variety reigned. language of “intrinsically disordered,” the Vatican doubled 4012 29th Street In the late Middle Ages, however, theologians began to down on scholasticism, and this wording fed into both the Mount Rainier, Maryland 20712 be interested in doing more than collecting and organizing 1986 Letter and the Catechism. When it comes to sex, the (301) 277-5674 theological debates. They wanted to systematize them too, Vatican really is stuck in the 13th century. [email protected] and conform them to the rigor of philosophy. The Univers- ity of became a center for this project. It was also a What we should do, and why it matters center for the study and systematization of law, and the two On one hand, if the past is any indicator, theological disciplines—law and what became known as scholastic forecasters should take courage. Just when it seems things theology—grew up in conversation with each other. can’t get any worse, a change is usually around the cor- TO SUBSCRIBE It does not take too much imagination to see how the ner. The revolutionary theologian Thomas Aquinas was COMPLETE AND RETURN THE FORM language necessary for legal judgment of an action— excommunicated, then canonized, then declared the sole object, knowledge, freedom, intention, means, end, etc.— standard of orthodoxy. Many of the theologians who BELOW could also be useful for a confessor determining the degree shaped the documents of Vatican Council II did so in semi- of a sinner’s moral culpability for an action. The Italian secrecy from sidelines because, as dissenters from ortho- theologian Thomas Aquinas found the 4thcentury BCE dox Thomism, they were suspected of heterodoxy or were Enclosed is: Greek philosopher Aristotle very useful for this proj- actually under censure. Thus it’s likely that the moral ect. Thomas was excommunicated posthumously for his theologians now laboring under a cloud will be embraced _____ $25.00 in the US or Canada radical approach, but eventually Rome came around and in the near future, and that all the LGTBQ Catholics sting- declared him a saint. That freed scholastic moral theolo- ing from the blows inflicted by current moral theology will _____ $35.00 outside US or Canada gians to meld Aristotle with the philosophy of a good crea- see it replaced. tion, orderly legal thinking, and traditional Western Christ- On the other hand, however, too much is at stake for _____ I wish to receive Bondings, ian sexual mores, adopting the idea that all God’s creations us to wait for Vatican III. The Vatican’s current teaching but cannot donate at this time. are meant to accomplish some particular good end. deprives people of the Eucharist, gets them fired, forbids Let’s spin out the consequences of this thinking. For them funerals, and even subjects them to violence in some Name ______Thomas, it was self-evident that human beings are meant places. What to do? for union with God, and their bodies are meant to contrib- Paradoxically, if we lay aside “intrinsic disorder,” Address ______ute to this project while they are on earth. Feet are for Thomas Aquinas is an inspiration for just the Catholic walking, hands are for working, mouths are for eating the moral theology of sexuality we need. Thomas trusts our City ______right sorts and amounts of food to nourish the body and for embodied experience of the world, and he assumes that a speaking the truth, and sexual organs are for propagating sure sign of a genuinely holy person is a life of true fruit- State ______the species in an orderly way, within marriage. At least for fulness and flourishing. I’m betting you know at least one men, desire and pleasure (thanks to design or the fall, de- partnered LGBTQ person who fits this description. Let’s DayPhone ______pending on your perspective) are almost inevitable in the get started!  process, so they are permitted, but sex for the sake of de- Night Phone ______sire and pleasure alone is always sinful to some degree be- Cristina Traina is a professor of Religious Studies at cause it orders or directs the sexual organs to the wrong Northwestern University, Evanston, Illinois. She is also a Cell Phone ______end: self-gratification. (The irrelevance of women’s de- member of New Ways Ministry’s Board. sires and pleasures to this story leads to problems we Email ______should address another time!)

Please make check payable to “New Ways Ministry”. Outside the US, please use only If you would like to receive emails about New Ways Ministry events, send email to checks drawn on a US bank in US dollars or go to www.newwaysministry.org.

Mail to: [email protected] New Ways Ministry 4012 29th Street Mount Rainier, MD 20712 Let us know if you would like daily news updates or monthly announcements. Summer 2018 BONDINGS Page 3 Ministry on the Gender Margins: Interview With Sr. Luisa DeRouen

Jeannine Gramick, SL 2009 my ministry has been approved by In 2014, as people were Global Sisters Report How do trans persons reconcile the Dominican Sisters of Peace. becoming more visible, my prioress said The Nationasl Catholic Reporter their faith and their gender identity? There may be some sisters in my that I and others could write about my June 14, 2018 Transgender people who contact me community who don't approve of what ministry, without naming myself, my already know and love God, but there is a I'm doing, but no one has ever said that congregation, or the places I had lived. A Sr. Luisa DeRouen is a pioneer in strong societal and religious message tell to me, nor have I heard that from any- consistent comment from both sup- the "T" of LGBT ministry. A few women -ing them they cannot be transgender and one. Over the years, increasing numbers porters and detractors has been "If what religious are ministering among trans- faithful to God at the same time. For ex- of my sisters have contacted me as a re- she's doing is God's work, why are they gender people today, but Sister Luisa was ample, Dawn was traumatized by two ex- source for themselves or someone they hiding?" That is a valid question. the first to do so, as early as 1999, when periences of being harshly judged by know, who needs guidance of some kind Last year in this country a trans- most Catholics were just coming to under with a transgender per- gender person was murdered every other -stand and accept the "L" and "G." son. The sisters recog- week. I am choosing to use my own On several occasions over the years, nize that we all need to name now because I feel compelled by I met and emailed with Luisa, who is a learn more about trans- God to give fuller witness to the lives of Dominican Sister of Peace, and have gender people and stand transgender people and to the truth of been awed by her ministry on the gender with them. They have who I am. Because my talking must be margins. I believe our church needs to consistently thanked me monitored each day, I believe that my honor this valiant and prophetic woman for leading the way. "voice" can reach countless people now who has shown us how to minister to Four years ago I by writing about the ministry and thus those who are mostly shunned or even read an excellent help to smooth the path for transgender vilified. article about you and people. What's happening to transgender Let me tell you a little about Luisa your ministry by people is the reason I'm coming out now. first. She grew up in Welsh, a small town Nathan Schneider I think Pope Francis would in Louisiana, where her only exposure to entitled, "A 's se- commend you. In the first year of his religious life was a religious community cret ministry brings papacy, a transgender woman was called the Eucharistic Missionaries of St. hope to the trans- found murdered in Rome. Her funeral Dominic. Her teenage years were every gender community," in was held at the Gesu, which is con- girl's dream, and she was grateful to God which you are ident- sidered the Pope's church in Rome. and to her family for all the blessings she ified as "Sister Pope Francis is urging Catholics to felt. When she got her driver's license at Monica." Why have have mercy and also to speak out. So fifteen, she started going to daily Mass you used a pseudo- do you consider Pope Francis an ally? and continued for all four years of high nym in this ministry Yes, I do. I'm aware that some school. for so many years? people are disappointed because Pope Feeling she could love God more While my leadership Francis hasn't changed church teaching Sister Luisa DeRouen, OP fully through religious life, Luisa decided team always recognized about sexual and gender matters. I don't to enter the small, diocesan congregation this ministry as a call from God, they expect him to. I consider him an ally at the end of her senior year in 1961. priests insisting she was doomed to hell knew that the hierarchy does not yet because of his posture toward truth. Though there were some very difficult unless she acknowledged that she was a know enough about this reality. If a What's most important for Pope years, Luisa says she has never doubted boy and not a girl. Her therapist did not bishop objected to the ministry, there Francis is to engage the person. We're that religious life is where she belongs. recognize that at the core of Dawn's could be undesirable ramifications for familiar with some of his favorite meta- Luisa served in a variety of min- struggle was the chasm between ac- my community and my ministry. In phors for a culture of encounter — the istries: parish ministry, vocation director knowledging that she was transgender 1999, I was asked not to participate in church as a field hospital and the shep- and believing that God still loved her as for her community, coordinator of their any publicity at all. (Continued on page 6) motherhouse, spiritual direction, retreat she was. work and liturgical spirituality. After Brian and his spouse went to Mass Hurricane Katrina forced her to leave the and prayed the rosary together every day. community's house in New Orleans in For many years he fought against a per- Halligan: 'I want gay marriage in 2005, Luisa moved to Tucson, Arizona, sistent knowledge from within himself where she had once been missioned. that he was transgender. Finally he could church - my love is not evil' By then Luisa had been diagnosed no longer pretend to be who he wasn't. with a severe degenerative arthritis of the Because his family had a very difficult time with his transition, he thought that By Sarah McDonald same-sex couples," she said. jaw and had to limit talking to alleviate The Independent She added: "The recent removal of the pain. Because of this condition, she perhaps he should do as Jesus did — choose to die for the sake of those he Dublin, Ireland images of gay people from the WMOF retired from active ministry in 2010 and April 16, 2018 event brochure is disturbing and alarm- moved to St. Catherine, Kentucky. By loved. He was overwhelmed with guilt for their pain and thought it was his fault. ing. then, her congregation had been in dia- Former TV3 political correspondent "It sends out a disturbing message. logue with seven other Dominican com- He spent many hours with God. He fin- ally came to understand that Jesus didn't Ursula Halligan has said that, as a "On the second last day of the munities that led to the birth a new con- Catholic gay person, she wants the WMOF 2018, a Festival of Families will gregation, the Dominican Sisters of choose to take his own life. Jesus loved us to the point of dying and really meant Church to provide full sacramental take place on Saturday, August 25, and Peace, in 2009. marriage for same-sex couples. five selected families from around the Here is my conversation with her. it when he said, "I have come that you may have life, and have it to the full." It Ms. Halligan was world will be invited to speaking to the Irish give witness to their Jeannine: What led you into trans is our false self that must die, never our true self. Independent at a families' faith. What ministry and what does it consist of? conference for Catholic preparations are under Luisa: When I was ending vocation Sandi and her wife live on the West Coast and are in their mid-forties. They reform groups at the way to ensure at least ministry in 1998, I asked my leadership weekend ahead of the one of these families team if I could minister among the lesbi- have five children, ranging in age from twenty-one to four, and have always been World Meeting of will be a family headed an and gay community as I have gay and Families (WMOF) in by a same-sex couple?" lesbian people in my family. The leader- active in their Catholic parish. After transitioning, Sandi has been totally ac- Dublin in August. she asked. ship team readily agreed, but required She said the Speakers at the confer- that I remain under the radar. At a cepted at her job and even travels inter- nationally with her professional peers. Church's teaching on ence, titled 'Future Fami- PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of same-sex relationships lies: Challenges for Faith and Gays) meeting, I met Court However, her spouse and children largely reject her even though Sandi has shown was "deeply insulting and Society', included -ney Sharp, a transgender woman who and offensive". Susan Casey, a divorced was recovering from gender affirming incredible patience, compassion, forgive- ness and boundless love for them. She "As a gay person, I mother of two originally surgery. I was impressed by how loved don't want pastoral care from the US but living in and respected she was by all in the group. has been an inspiration to me of what holiness looks like. from the Church. Pas- Ireland. She said that acknowledging and claim- toral care only brings She criticised the ing their truth as transgender is a pro- Dawn, Brian and Sandi were able to reconcile their faith and their gender comfort to the Church," Church's "demonisation" foundly spiritual experience for many she said. Ursula Halligan of divorced and sep- transgender people, but there are no spir- identity. Many others cannot and need spiritual companioning. Transgender "I reject the Church's arated families and itual leaders who are willing to company- teaching that gay people are 'objectively warned that "the Eucharist is being used ion them. This was 1999. She introduced people have struggled to be honest with themselves, those they love, and with disorder-ed' and that our love is 'intrin- as a weapon rather than nourishment" me to other trans folks in New Orleans, sically evil'." against people whose marriages fail. and soon I was being contacted by trans- God far more than most people. I'm often struck by the signature line of one of my Ms Halligan, who attended the con- Two mothers, who are practicing gender people from other parts of the ference as a delegate, described herself Catholics and whose sons are gay, ad- country. trans friends, who says, "I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I as a "person of faith and a committed dressed the conference. Other speakers As a spiritual companion, I have Catholic." included Denis O'Brien, of the National been present to them on the phone, or by am not." How many of us can say that "living in our truth" is as important as it However, she added: "As a woman Youth Council of Ireland, and Ray Kelly, Skype and email, in coffeehouses, res- and a gay person, I'm not putting up with of Unmarried and Separated Families of taurants and in their homes, at church or is for transgender people? What has been the response of it any longer. I'm not sitting at the back Ireland. guiding a retreat for them. But mostly, I of the bus any more. The institutional Concern was expressed by partici- pray for them and let them know I am your community leaders and members to you and your ministry? Church has to change on this." pants that conservative American funders praying. She said the Church's teaching on were "calling the shots" over the line-up I regularly attended transgender My community leaders have always recognized that my ministry is in re- same-sex relationships was "deeply in- of workshops and speakers for the support meetings. For several years I sulting and offensive, not only to the dig- WMOF event in Dublin. facilitated a number of Transgender sponse to God's call and is totally consis- tent with our charism and mission state- nity of every gay person, but it is deeply Patricia Fitzsimons, of the Associa- Awareness Evenings by inviting people insulting to God whose image and like- tion of Catholics in Ireland's steering to meet my trans friends and hear their ments. I began this ministry with the ap- proval of the Eucharistic Missionaries of ness we are made in. group, said Irish Catholics were con- stories. I mentored a couple of sisters "I believe my love is as good as any- cerned that the WMOF gathering "isn't who now do transgender ministry them- St. Dominic and each year following the establishment of our new congregation in one else's love and as a Catholic I'm seen to be expressing the views of Irish selves. looking for full sacramental marriage for people"  Page 4 BONDINGS Vol. 37, No. 3 Guyanese Catholic Leaders Support Gay Rights Against Other Denominations

By Lizzie Sextro Against Sexual Orientation Dis- SASOD statement.” Bondings 2.0 crimination (SASOD) said reli- Despite the continued violation of NewWaysMinistry.org/blog gious leaders had decried discrim- human rights of Guyanese LGBTQ per- June 18, 2018 inatory laws against the LGBT sons, the GMF refused to support the community.” human rights cause of other Christian Guyanese Catholic Church leaders “The launch took the form of leaders. Leung, who likened homo- have decried the homophobic pronounce- an Inter-Faith service at the Cath- sexual acts with consensual incest, was ments of other Christian denominations olic Life Centre on Brickdam, quoted saying, “You can’t have a right who have claimed that homosexuality, or which was attended by religious to do what is wrong.” “buggery”(as it is referred to there), persons, leaders of the faith-based However, the pushback to the GMF should be illegal in the country. organisations and LGBT persons.” from Catholic and Christian denomin- On June 2, the day of Guyana’s Pride “Head of the Roman Catholic ations says that the “wrong” that is Parade, the Georgetown Ministers’ Fel- Diocese in Guyana, Bishop actually being committed is the viola- lowship (GMF) hosted a press conference Francis Alleyne, who co-hosted tion of LGBTQ rights. Unlike a U.S. in which members of the Christian group the ser-vice with SASOD, had bishop who recently voiced his disap- denounced the parade as a “blemish on the said then that the issue of LGBT proval of Pride celebrations as “morally social fabric of the republic.” rights was a sensitive one. ‘This offensive,”Guyana’s Bishop Alleyne The GMF’s main goal of the press topic is a volatile one. There is seemed more concerned with protecting conference was to get answers from the still a lot of fear and insufficient the human dignity of the LGBTQ com- current government. In the words of the listening to expect an objective munity, encouraging the country to list- Bishop Francis Alleyne only female panelist at the press confer- response from people,’ Bishop en rather than condemn. ence, Valerie Leung, the group requested room filled with worshippers, Minister of Alleyne was quoted as saying in the that the government “expressly and expli- the Gospel Marlon Hestick proclaimed that a gay parade is an expression of a sex- citly tell the people of Guyana in writing, truthfully what is their position on homo- uality, which is currently prohibited by sexuality.” Stabroek News reported: Guyanese law.” New Language for Old Truths “. . . GMF representatives declared Although GMF claimed to represent A retreat for LGBT Catholics, families, that as representatives of the Christian the entire Christian community of Guyana, pastoral ministers, and allies community, which comprises more than Catholic leaders and other Christian with Fr. Tony Flannery, CSsR groups have refused to stand behind the 60% of the Guyanese population, it was November 9-11, 2018 concerned about local and international GMF’s harmful position. Contrasting the Jesuit Spiritual Growth Center efforts to pressure government to legalise GMF’s overt expression of , some Roman Catholic Guyanese leaders Wernersville, Pennsylvania buggery in Guyana. The group has com- mitted to praying for those caught within and leaders of other Christian denom- Information and Registration such a lifestyle and lobbying government inations have supported the rights of against the decriminalisation of homo- LGBTQ persons: www.NewWaysMinistry.org/upcoming-programs sexual acts. “At the launch of the inaugural LGBT Or call 301-277-5674 “Buoyed by the vocal support of a Pride Festival last year, the Society

LGBT-friendly Catholic Parishes & Communities Below is a list of known LGBT-friendly Catholic parishes and intentional Eucharistic communities. Thank you for helping us add to this growing list. If you are aware of a parish or community that welcomes LGBT Catholics, please let us know. Tell us if this welcome is because of a support program, spirituality group, mis- sion statement, participation in LGBT community events, or involvement with parents. To add your faith com- munity to our list, please contact New Ways Ministry at [email protected] or call 301-277- 5674. Parishes are listed first and intentional Eucharistic communities follow. For links to many of these par- ishes’ websites, go to www.NewWaysMinistry.org

Oceanside: St. Thomas More Littleton: Light of the World, Dyer: St. Maria Goretti Orange: Holy Family Cathedral St Frances Cabrini Indianapolis: St. Thomas Aquinas Palm Springs: St. Theresa Pasadena: Assumption of the B.V.M. Connecticut Iowa PARISHES Redondo: St. Lawrence Martyr Guilford: St. George’s Coralville: St. Thomas More Redwood City: St. Matthias Hartford: St. Patrick-St. Anthony Alabama Ross: St. Anselm Decatur: Annunciation of the Lord Sacramento: St. Francis of Assisi Delaware Kentucky Montgomery: St. Bede San Carlos: St. Charles North Wilmington: Holy Child Lexington: Historic St. Paul Church San Diego: Ascension, St. John the Wilmington: St. Joseph, Sacred Heart Louisville: Epiphany, Cathedral of the Arizona Evangelist, St. Jude Shrine, Catho- Oratory Assumption, St. William Chandler: St. Andrew lic Community of UC,San Diego Louisiana Glendale: St. Thomas More San Dimas: Holy Name of Mary District of Columbia New Orleans: St. Augustine Mesa: St. Bridget San Francisco: Most Holy Redeemer, Holy Trinity, St. Matthew Cathedral Phoenix: St. Matthew Old St. Mary Cathedral, St. Agnes, Maine Scottsdale: St. Patrick St. Dominic, St. Ignatius, St. Teresa Florida Portland: Sacred Heart-St. Dominic Tucson: St. Cyril of Alexandria, of Avila Daytona Beach: Our Lady of Lourdes Saco: Most Holy Trinity Ss. Peter and Paul, St. Pius X, San Jose: St. Julie Billiart, Flagler Beach: Santa Maria del Mar Our Mother of Sorrows, St. Odilia St. Martin of Tours (Emmaus Ft. Lauderdale: St. Anthony, Maryland Community) St. Maurice Baltimore: Corpus Christi, California San Luis Obispo: Mission San Luis St. Petersburg: Holy Cross St. Francis of Assisi, St. Ignatius, Baldwin Park: St. John the Baptist San Ramon: St. Joan of Arc Tampa: Sacred Heart, Christ the King St. Matthew, Berkeley: Holy Spirit Parish San Raphael: Church of San Raphael St. Vincent dePaul Burney: St Francis of Assisi & Georgia Columbia: St. John the Evangelist Carlsbad: St. Patrick Mission San Raphael Arcangel Atlanta: Shrine of the Immaculate Gaithersburg: St. Rose of Lima Camarillo: Padre Serra Parish Santa Barbara: OL of Guadalupe Conception Hagerstown: St. Ann Claremont: Our Lady of Assumption Santa Cruz: Holy Cross Severn: St. Bernadette El Cajon: St. Luke Santa Monica: St. Monica Idaho Encino: Our Lady of Grace Simi Valley: St. Rose of Lima Boise: St. Mary Massachusetts Escondido: St. Timothy Spring Valley: Santa Sophia Boston: Paulist Center, St. Anthony Fremont: St. Joseph-Mission San Jose Stanford: Catholic Community at Stan- Illinois Shrine, St. Cecilia Fresno: St.. Paul Catholic Newman ford University Berwyn: St. Mary of the Celle Buzzard’s Bay: St. Margaret’s/StMary’s Center South Pasadena: Holy Family Chicago: Immaculate Conception, East Longmeadow: St. Michael Goleta: St. Mark Univ. Parish Valinda: St. Martha St. Clement, St. Gertrude, Newton: St. Ignatius Hawthorne: St. Joseph (Spanish) Vernon: Holy Angels Catholic Church St. Gregory, St. Peter, St. Sylvester, Provincetown: St. Peter Hayward: All Saints of the Deaf St. Teresa of Avila, St. Thomas the Sharon: Our Lady of Sorrows LaPuente: St. Martha Walnut Creek: St. John Vianney Apostle, Our Lady of Lourdes, Our Springfield: Sacred Heart Lemon Grove: St. John of the Cross West Hollywood: St. Ambrose, Lady of Mt. Carmel, Long Beach: St. Matthew St. Victor Old St. Patrick Michigan Los Angeles: Blessed Sacrament, Whittier: St. Mary of the Assumption Clarendon Hills: Notre Dame Ann Arbor: St. Mary Student Parish Christ the King, Mother of Good Country Club Hills: St. Emeric Detroit: St. Leo, Christ the King, Gesu Counsel, St. Camillus Center-LA Colorado Evanston: St. Nicholas Parish USC Medical Center (Spanish), Arvada: Spirit of Christ Inverness: Holy Family St. Ignace: St. Ignatius Loyola St. Agatha, St. Paul the Apostle, Avon: St. Edward Johnston City: St. Paul Westland: Ss. Simon and Jude St. Anselm Colorado Springs: Sacred Heart Morton Grove: St. Martha North Hollywood: St. Jane Frances de Denver: St. Dominic, Christ the King, Oak Park: Ascension, St. Catherine of Minnesota Chantal, St. Patrick Our Lady of Mount Carmel Sienna-St. Lucy, St. Giles Minneapolis: St. Frances Cabrini, Oakland: Our Lady of Lourdes, St. Co- Lafayette: Immaculate Conception Schaumburg: St. Marcelline St. Joan of Arc lumba, St. Jarleth Lakewood: St. Bernadette Indiana (Continued on page 5) Summer 2018 BONDINGS Page 5 After All These Years, Still Coming Out. . . As Catholic By Sarah Gregory Except … except … the person who My very presence on Bondings precisely zero. But then, call it Catholic Bondings 2.0 posed that question just a few months 2.0 was a matter of such discernment, guilt or being taught by the Jesuits, I NewWaysMinistry.org/blog ago – well, he was – and is – a Roman too. In early 2017, a friend and PhD spent some uncomfortable time in June 10, 2018 Catholic priest. If I would have answered colleague at the Graduate Theological an Examination of Conscience. Some- him most honestly, not because his Union in Berkeley sent me a note. New thing didn’t quite feel comfortable about “So, you’re still Catholic.” church role but because of the human Ways Ministry was looking for a few writing under my own name, rather than I couldn’t tell from the inflection in being he is– someone who has earned GTU students and alums to write a series the pseudonym I’d used for years else- his voice – was it a statement or a quest- my trust in abundance – yes. I am still of weekly Lenten reflections. Might I be where. ion? I suspect it might’ve been intention- Catholic. interested in contributing a piece to the My examined conscience responded ally ambiguous, allowing me the choice But that wasn’t my reply. I lobbed series? with a sharp kick to my backside. I of deciding how to reply. the question right back at him. If this I’ve followed New Ways Ministry didn’t feel comfortable coming out – as I replied without replying, not an- were Wimbledon, it would’ve been an for a number of years, attended the Sym- Catholic. swering his question at all. excellent volley back across the net. posium in Minneapolis in 2007, and – Many of the people to whom I’m “Are you?” Point! well, I fit the bill for the types of writers closest in the world are ex-Catholics, Nothing really unusual about that He laughed – a comfortable, relaxed they were looking for: I’m queer and Catholics-in-exile, “recovering Cath- reply, I suppose. The Church is in the laugh, and one that reminded me of what Catholic and a theology student GTU. olics” – they were here, and now they’re midst of an identity crisis, and many I know in the core of my being and know All boxes checked. Even so, I had some gone. Some who remain in the Church people who think, who question, who see that he knows and believes as well – hard-core discerning to do. For a number take “Mass holidays” from time to time, faith and religion through what Vatican Catholic means universal. ALL. All of years, I wrote regularly for Street giving themselves a break from the cog- II called “reading the signs of the times” means ALL, y’all. We share a religion, Prophets, a now-defunct faith and poli- nitive dissonance between what they – they have shaken the dust from their but how we each experience our faith is tics website, but I did so behind a screen know to be true and what they hear from sandals and left the Catholic Church. between ourselves and God. name. Only a select group of participants the pulpit. Then there are the friends who Some have found their “Home Away Any answer to the question, “Are there knew my true identity. My child were never Catholic or Christian, and from Rome” in the Episcopal Church, you still Catholic?” needs to be tempered was in Catholic school, we were in- who see the damage wrought by a others in the Evangelical Lutheran with a healthy shot of humility. As Cath- volved in parish life, and I didn’t want to hierarchy that plays politics over piety or Church of America (ELCA) or other de- olics, we have to be aware of the bag- bring the wrath of conservative Catholics pastoral care. They simply cannot com- nominations. Many others live in com- gage of pain and alienation that our down on either my beloved son or the prehend why a church leadership that fortable and quite peaceable atheism, identification may quite reasonably trig- communities and priests who invariably seems so irrational, so ungrounded, and agnosticism, or – for an epicurean few – ger in other people. As odd as it might welcomed us with open arms. so hostile to LGBTQ identity, so biased Pastafarianism (not a typo; Google it). sound, “the love that dare not speak its I didn’t really have that excuse in against women, and in the US, so tightly Trying to understand the Catholic name” these days may not be our sexu- 2017. The kid was off at college, and we tied with one political party, has any bus- Church can involve wading hip-deep in ality, but our religious identity. Or, to put have different last names, giving him iness trying to police the lives of those fear, hypocrisy, and worse. There’s NO it bluntly, if our beliefs are central to plausible deniability about anything his who aren’t even its adherents. shame at all in walking away from that. how we engage with our sisters and mom might write up on the internet. My I don’t argue with them. I frankly None. brothers, it might be time these days to secular employer flies a rainbow flag in don’t believe I have much of a case to So the questions – you’re still discern where, whether, how, and to front of its offices in June. I live in San make there, and also find too much of Catholic? – are you? – nothing odd there whom we disclose our use of that label – Francisco. The risk to me of having my (Continued on page 8) at all. the big-C “Catholic.” name associated with something queer is

(Continued from page 4) Rochester: Blessed Sacrament, Virginia St. Mary (Downtown), St. Monica Arlington: Our Lady Queen of Peace Missouri Saratoga Springs: St. Peter Glen Allen: St. Michael the Archangel Kansas City: Guardian Angels, Holy Syracuse: St. Lucy, All Saints Mechanicsville: Church of the Re- Family. St. James Utica: Our Lady of Mount Carmel, deemer St. Joseph: St. Francis Xavier Historic Old St. John’s Richmond: Cathedral of the Sacred St. Louis: St. Cronan, St. Margaret of Wading River: St. John the Baptist Heart, Sacred Heart Parish Scotland, St. Pius V Wantaugh: St. Frances de Chantal Roanoke: St. Gerard West Islip: Our Lady of Lourdes Triangle: St. Francis Montana Westbury: St. Brigid Virginia Beach: St. Nicholas Billings: Holy Rosary, St. Pius X North Carolina Washington Nebraska Charlotte: St. Peter Seattle: Christ Our Hope, St. Benedict, Omaha: Holy Family, Sacred Heart Durham: Immaculate Conception St. James Cathedral, St. Joseph, Fayetteville: St. Patrick Prince of Peace Nevada Raleigh: St. Francis of Assisi Newman Center Las Vegas: Christ the King, Spokane: St. Aloysius Canada Guardian Angel Cathedral Ohio Tacoma: St. Leo Montreal: Holy Cross, Saint-Pierre- Akron: St. Bernard Apôtre, New Hampshire Cincinnati: St. George-St. Monica, Wisconsin Ottawa: St. Joseph Merrimack: St. John Neumann St. Robert Bellarmine Fond du Lac: Holy Family Toronto: Our Lady of Lourdes Pelham: St. Patrick Cleveland: Blessed Trinity, Madison: Our Lady Queen of Peace St. Malachi, St. Martha Menomonee Falls: Good Shepherd England New Jersey Columbus: St. Thomas More Milwaukee: Good Shepherd, London: Church of the Immaculate Hoboken: Our Lady of Grace Newman Center Prince of Peace, Trinity-Guadalupe Conception (Mayfair) Keyport: St. Joseph Fairlawn: St. Hilary Wauwatosa: St. Pius X Lawrenceville: St. Ann Mentor: St. John Vianney Long Beach Island: St. Francis of University Heights: Church of Gesu Assisi Westlake: St. Ladislas Maplewood: St. Joseph Wooster: St. Mary of the Immaculate Monmouth: Precious Blood Conception INTENTIONAL EUCHARISTIC COMMUNITIES Pompton Lakes: St. Mary Arizona Michigan South Plainfield: Sacred Heart Oregon Scottsdale: Franciscan Renewal Grand Rapids: Marywood Tinton Falls: St. Anselm Beaverton: Spirit of Grace Center Kalamazoo: Lambda Catholics Portland: St. Andrew, St. Francis of

New Mexico Assisi, St. Phillip Neri, Down- California Minnesota Albuquerque: Holy Family, town Chapel (St. Vincent de Paul) Orange: Koinonia Minneapolis: Spirit of St. Stephen's Shrine of St. Bernadette Pleasanton: Catholic Community of Catholic Community Espanola: Sacred Heart of Jesus Pennsylvania Pleasanton Danville: St. Joseph San Diego: Mary Magdalene Catholic New York Ohio Philadelphia: Old St. Joseph, Community Albany: St. Vincent DePaul Dayton: Living Beatitudes Community Old St. Mary, St. John the Baldwinsville: St. Augustine Evangelist, St. Vincent DePaul District of Columbia Bellmore: St. Barnabas the Apostle Oregon Wilkinsburg: St. James Communitas Portland: Journey and Koinonia Bellport: Mary Immaculate Catholic Community Binghamton: St. Francis of Assisi Rhode Island Florida Brooklyn: St. Andrew the Apostle, Providence: St. Raymond Tampa: Franciscan Center Pennsylvania St. Boniface, St. Athanasius, Wickford: St. Bernard St. Augustine, Immac.Heart of Mary Pittsburgh: Dignity//Pittsburgh Iowa Deer Park: Ss. Cyril and Methodius Tennessee Coralville: Full Circle Small Faith Virginia East Islip: St. Mary Alcoa: Our Lady of Fatima Community Arlington: NOVA Catholic Community Elmira: St. Mary Memphis: Cathedral of the Fairport: Church of the Assumption Immaculate Conception Maryland Washington Henrietta: Good Shepherd Baltimore, Annapolis, Thurmont: Lacey: Holy Wisdom Inclusive Manhattan: Ascension, Blessed Sacra- Texas Living Water Inclusive Catholic Catholic Community ment, Holy Name of Jesus, St. Colleyville: Good Shepherd Community Francis deSales, St. Francis of Assi- Dallas: Holy Trinity Greenbelt: Greenbelt Catholic Wisconsin si, St. Francis Xavier, St. Ignatius El Paso: All Saints Community Madison: Holy Wisdom Monastery Loyola, St. Paul the Apostle Houston: St. Anne, St. Teresa Milwaukee: Mary of Magdala, Apostle to Pittsford: Church of Transfiguration Odessa: St. Elizabeth Ann Seton the Apostles

Page 6 BONDINGS Vol. 37, No. 3 Two Italian Bishops Lead Prayer Vigils Against LGBT Discrimination By Robert Shine due to each person and denounce all everyone’s respect. This has not always years ago. Despite some Italian Catholic Bondings 2.0 forms of discrimination and marginal- been in the past. It’s right therefore for groups’ protests against IDAHOBIT and NewWaysMinistry.org/blog ization.” society and faithful to apologize to those Pride events this year, there is a marked June 29, 2018 Ecumenical prayer vigils against they have despised or put in a corner.” shift on LGBT issues in . Crux noted LGBT discrimination occurred in several Fr. Gianluca Carrega, who heads the that during World Pride Day in 2000, At least two Italian bishops parti- other Italian cities as well. For the elev- Diocese of Turin’s outreach to lesbian which was held in Rome, then-Pope John cipated in vigils marking the Inter- enth year, communities in Italy and and gay people, told La Repubblica: Paul II said he had a “deep sadness” be- national Day Against Homophobia, Spain passed a baton along, marking “‘It is important. . .that these days of cause Pride was an “offense to the Biphobia, and (IDAHOBIT) each stop with prayer vigils and torchlit vigil are not just a declaration of what is Christian values.” Today, the three Ital- this past May. processions, reported IDAHOBIT’ web- happening around us, but also an oppor- ian church leaders above join the grow- Corrado Lorefice of site. tunity to better know ourselves and make ing ranks of Catholic officials worldwide composed a prayer for an ecu- Bishop Massimo Camisasca of us enlightened by the truth of the Gos- who recognize the need for IDAHOBIT menical vigil in that city which he helped Reggio Emilia and Guastalla led pel.'” events and the goodness of Pride cele- lead, and he encouraged Catholic par- a Mass in his city. Crux reported that Such public stances by church lead- brations. ishes to recite it at Mass. A La Repub- several gay people offered testimonies ers are important, and especially so in As June ends, these episcopal blica article,quoted the archbishop: during the homily, after which the bishop Italy, which remains behind in LGBT prayers are worth celebrating, and they “While we firmly deplore that told those gathered: equality initiatives compared to other serve as an impetus to spend the coming homosexual persons have been and are “I am not here for an acronym, Western nations. Bishop Camisasca’s year advocating so that more church still subjected to malicious expressions LGBT, which doesn’t belong to me. Nor acknowledgement that society and the leaders will raise their voices publicly in and violent actions, we pray that Christ- for an adjective, gay. I am here for a Church need to apologize to LGBT defense of LGBT people’s dignity and ians, living on the grace of the Gospel, noun, persons. You are persons. . .Every people who have been harmed is partic- well-being.  bear witness and proclaim, with pro- person has equal dignity, regardless of ularly notable, and follows-up on Pope phetic audacity, the unconditional respect their sexual orientation and deserves Francis’ call for such apologies two ’s Dioceses Adjust to Marriage Equality By Welcoming LGBT People

By Lindsay Hueston coming all Christians is an absolute Isabelle Parmentier is one of the suffering that LGBT people go through Bondings 2.0 necessity.” French Catholics spearheading such is aggravated by the idea that a gay child NewWaysMinistry.org/blog A strong welcome is needed because initiatives in her diocese. Appointed by is ‘living in sin,’” she noted. July 2, 2018 for too long, the Church has only provid- Bishop Pascal Wintzer of Poitiers, she The movement in the French ed lip service. “Gay people and their accompanies LGBT people, parents of Church toward inclusion of LGBT per- Since France legalized same-sex families have the impression that the LGBT children, LGBT couples – sons is trying to change such negative marriage (“mariage pour tous” or Church welcomes them all, but actually Christian or not – to rebuild the broken understandings. The movement has ar- “marriage for all”) in 2013, support for places people at a distance,” said ties between the Church and the LGBT rived in the wake of Pope Francis’s his- LGBT persons in the French Catholic Fabienne Daull, a member of Cados community. toric “Who am I to judge?” comment. In Church has grown immensely. Already (“Chrétiens s’accueillant dans leurs Homophobia, she says, is still France, such discussion groups seek to 35 French dioceses have “missioned” différences d’orientations sexuelles,” or present in French society, and “remains promote a similar accepting attitude and people to begin to close the wide gap “Christians welcoming each other in one of the major causes of suicide in allow people of all sexualities and ident- between the LGBT community and the their different sexual orientations”) in teenagers.” ities to feel welcome in their churches. Church. Nîmes. “In certain Catholic families, the Many French citizens are Catholic, Many of these dioceses have opened though the level of church participation the conversation surrounding LGBT varies. issues and how these topics intersect Claude Besson, another leader of with Christian beliefs by establishing these groups, is a major voice for LGBT dialogue groups. For example, the dio- Catholics and a “pioneer of welcoming cese of Créteil created discussion and gay people in the Church,” according support groups called “Se parler,” mean- to La Croix. Besson commented: ing “to talk with each other,” noted the “Of course, certain people would French Catholic news outlet La Croix, want these changes to come more quick- which recently published a major article ly, or slowly, but [I’ve been doing this about the phenomenon. Established by for] ten years, and I never would have Bishop Michel Santier, the groups seek thought we’d be where we are today.” to create a space for church members These groups and conversations in whose lives have been affected by the France are a hopeful sign that the LGBT Church’s often harsh stance on LGBT community can be integrated without issues, and treatment of LGBT persons. scorn or shame that has so often come Speaking with group participants, from the Church itself. Hopefully, other Bishop Sanier told them that they were similar groups can gain popularity, and all “part of the body of Christ.” Addi- the much-needed reparation between the tionally, Bishop Dominique Lebrun, of Church and the LGBT community can the diocese of Saint-Etienne said, “Wel- spread worldwide. 

Ministry on the Gender Margins: Interview With Sr. Luisa DeRouen

(Continued from page 3) Argentina, and supports her ministry to As in most other areas of parish life, garding transgender people. Tragically, herd having the smell of the sheep. Re- transgender women who are trying to how parishioners relate to transgender in both instances the information given peatedly he returns to the theme of see- end drug use and prostitution. He was people often depends on how the pastor was outdated, inaccurate, and insensitive. ing people as they are, listening to them, sensitive in meeting with a transgender relates to transgender people. If he Last year the National Catholic having compassion and empathy. This man at the Vatican. But these exper- preaches about respect and dignity for all Bioethics Center hosted a conference should come before any litmus test of iences are not significant enough to with- and treats people in a respectful and wel- called Healing Persons in a Wounded doctrinal orthodoxy if we are to know stand the pressure he gets from those coming way, so will most of the parish- Culture. Not surprisingly, transgender how to be the presence of Christ for who use the phrase "gender ideology" to ioners. If he preaches negatively about issues were prominent on the agenda, but them. stir up culture wars. That said, he is will- some of our baptized sisters and broth- there were no transgender people invited However, Pope Francis, like many ing to learn and to admit when he is ers, then parishioners feel justified in to speak. Yet the president [of the Na- people, defaults to the doctrinal approach wrong. He's a deeply holy man and open acting accordingly. tional Catholic Bioethics Center] was in instances when he has not had enough to God's Spirit. I believe that trans issues are getting quoted as saying that the bishops present experience with people who challenge Polls and research show that both harder and easier to deal with in our were seeking ways "to accompany these general beliefs. His experience with Catholics overwhelmingly support church. On the one hand, at no time in people, help them, be with them, be transgender people is a good example. civil rights for lesbian and gay people. our history have Catholics been more close to them." How can bishops min- He knows Sister Monica Astorga In the recent public debate on same- educated, thanks in large part to the ister to people without speaking with Cremona, the Discalced Carmelite in sex marriage, nearly three-quarters of internet. People don't rely on the hier- them? Non-engagement keeps our bish- U.S. Catholics archy for their information to the extent ops dangerously ill-informed while it were supportive that they did in the past. Many now have maximizes dangers for transgender of some kind of advanced degrees in theology and a more people. New Ways Ministry’s legal recog- mature spirituality than in the past. There What do you hope our readers nition. Do you are more opportunities to learn about and will take away from this conversation? think Catholic meet transgender people. I hope people will say, "Wow, this parishioners are On the other hand, the current cli- sister really loves transgender people and Bondings 2.0 as accepting of mate in our country emboldens divisive- has invested much of her life for them transgender ness, prejudice and fear of all who are and with them. This challenges me to The best way to keep up on the latest people as they different. That societal message both examine my own prejudices about trans- are of lesbian originates from, and spills over into, our gender people." I hope minds and hearts Catholic LGBT news, opinion, and gay people? churches. As transgender people become will be open to learn about transgender Do you believe more visible in our Catholic institutions, people and to seek out opportunities to and spirituality trans issues are bishops have to grapple with how to deal meet them, if possible. I pray that your getting harder with them in Catholic hospitals, schools, readers will see transgender people as An online resource updated daily or easier to deal retreat centers, retirement homes, etc. I God sees them. That means to see them with in our am aware of two dioceses that sponsored as the persons they are.  Share your ideas with others church? a workshop for diocesan employees re- Summer 2018 BONDINGS Page 7 I came out as a gay, Catholic priest on the Feast of the Annunciation

By Rev. Fred Daley to myself my same-sex attractions, that -goating gay priests as the cause of the I waited for the newspaper the next America dread became horror. crisis. I knew this was not true. I con- morning with a bit of fear and trembl- March 23, 2018 While on a retreat, I shared the cluded that if I were to live with integ- ing. Would the writer report what I said truth about my sexuality for the first rity and preach the Gospel without accurately? Would I be suspended by March 25, 2004, the Feast of the time with the Jesuit priest assigned as compromise, I needed to publicly come the bishop? Would my parishioners Annunciation, felt like the longest day my spiritual director. I prayed that he reject me? Would I be hurting people of my life. That evening, I was being would help me get back on track. I who do not understand? honored by the United Way for my wanted to learn how to repress these The headline on the front page parish’s ministries to the poor and impure thoughts. Instead, Father Paul read: “Father Daley Reveals That He is marginalized in the community. Shortly explained that my sexual orientation is Gay.” Meanwhile, “Father Daley Re- before the ceremony, a young reporter part of who God created me to be. I ceives the United Way’s ‘Real Hero’ from the local newspaper interviewed was and am wholly loved by God. Award for his Work with the Poor” was me. She noted that I had been outspo- Little by little, with the help of relegated to an inner section of the ken on many social issues and partic- some counseling and spiritual direction, paper. ularly supportive of the L.G.B.T. com- I began to accept myself and, even- That weekend I shared my story at munity. I knew this was the moment to tually, love myself as a gay man. I the parish liturgies. I was met with come out publicly as a gay, Roman finally understood the true sacrifice of standing ovations. One of my concerns Catholic priest. celibacy. Although I never acted on any in discerning whether I should come The journey to that moment was a of my desires, I needed to consciously out or not was a fear that I would be long and often painful one. I knew I recommit myself to this way of life in hurting or confusing parishioners who wanted to be a priest since I was in order to live as a priest with integrity. might not understand. An elderly, very junior high school. Because priests are Gradually, I told a few close friends traditional Irish parishioner—she hated called to celibacy, I must have repress- and family that I was gay. But for the “those damned guitars at Mass”— ed my full sexuality through high most part, I remained in the closet. relieved my fears. Mary always counted school, seminary and the first years of This inner journey to self-accept- the offertory collection after the 8 a.m. priesthood. Society and the Catholic ance dramatically changed my relation- Sunday Mass. Holding my breath, I Church taught me that premarital sex ship with God. I experienced the un- Rev. Fred Daley knocked on the parish office door. was sinful and homosexuality was conditional love of God in my soul, in Mary got up from her chair, gave me a abominable. my gut and in my head. This love for hug and said, “Don’t worry, Father, I From the moment I was ordained, I God poured into love for my parish- out of the closet. It was not an impuls- like men, too!” felt fulfilled in my vocation and loved ioners. My capacity for friendship and ive decision. It was preceded by prayer I received hundreds of letters from all the aspects of my ministry: presid- empathy deepened profoundly. and strengthened by consultation with around the country offering support. A ing at liturgies, visiting the sick, teach- But I also grew increasingly frus- my spiritual director and the auxiliary few folks sent negative letters express- ing children and enjoying parish life. I trated that being closeted prevented me bishop. I trusted in the Holy Spirit to ing concern for my homosexual soul was blessed to have a pastor who taught from sharing my story in a way that show me the right moment to come out. going to hell—but even they assured me that serving the people was the could benefit others. I wanted to The interview on the Feast of the me of their prayers. My bishop at the heart the priesthood. accompany and minister to the poor, Annunciation turned out to be that time and his successor have respected After a few years, however, I be- the excluded and those marginalized in moment. me and supported my ministry. gan to notice an ache within me. This church and so-ciety, and this included I shared with the reporter that in Many folks ask me if I think other ache deepened as I recognized the ministry to the L.G.B.T. community. my years accompanying members of gay priests should “come out.” Taking emergence of a sexual energy that I had Then, in 2002, the sexual abuse the L.G.B.T. community, I recognized this step is a very personal and sacred tried to resist for so long. Soon, the scandal broke in the United States, and in their deep pain my own struggle of decision for each person. I would only self-acceptance as a gay man. ache became dread. As I began to admit a number of church leaders began scape (Continued on page 8) LGBT-friendly Catholic Colleges and Universities

Below is a list of known LGBT-friendly Catholic colleges and universities, that is, those Catholic institutions that have some type of gay/ LGBT student group, support group, ally group, etc. If you are aware of such a college that is known as welcoming to LGBT people, please let us know.

Alabama Iowa Montana Mobile: Spring Hill College Davenport: St. Ambrose University Helena: Carroll College Pennsylvania Dubuque: Loras College, Clarke University Cresson: Mount Aloysius College California Nebraska Dallas: Misericordia University Belmont: Notre Dame de Namur University Kentucky Omaha: Creighton University Erie: Mercyhurst College Goleta: St. Mark’s University Louisville: Spalding University, Greensburg: Seton Hill University Los Angeles: Loyola Marymount Universi- Bellarmine University New Hampshire Immaculata: Immaculata University ty, Mount Saint Mary’s College Manchester: St. Anselm College Philadelphia: Chestnut Hill College, Moraga: St. Mary’s College Louisiana Nashua: Rivier College LaSalle University, St. Joseph’s Oakland: Holy Names University New Orleans: Loyola University University Ranchos Palos Verde: Marymount College New Jersey Pittsburgh: Carlow University, San Diego: University of San Diego Maryland Caldwell: Caldwell College Duquesne University San Francisco: University of San Baltimore: Notre Dame of Jersey City: St. Peter’s College Radnor: Cabrini College Francisco Maryland University, South Orange: Seton Hall Reading: Alvernia University Santa Clara: Santa Clara University Loyola University of Maryland Scranton: Marywood University New York Villanova: Villanova University Colorado Massachusetts Albany: College of Saint Rose Denver: Regis University Boston: Emmanuel College, Brooklyn and Patchogue: Rhode Island Chestnut Hill: Boston College St. Joseph’s College Newport: Salve Regina University Connecticut Chicopee: Elms College Bronx: Fordham University, Providence: Providence College Fairfield: Fairfield University, Easton: Stonehill College Manhattan College Sacred Heart University North Andover: Merrimack College Buffalo: Canisius College Texas New Haven: Albertus Magnus College Weston: Regis College Loudonville: Siena College Austin: Saint Edward’s University West Hartford: Saint Joseph College Worcester: Assumption College, New Rochelle: College of New Rochelle, San Antonio: University of the Incarnate College of the Holy Cross Iona College Word, Our Lady of the Lake District of Columbia Poughkeepsie: Marist College University Georgetown University, Trinity University Michigan Rochester: St. John Fisher College Detroit: University of Detroit Mercy, St. Bonaventure: St. Bonaventure Vermont Florida Marygrove College University Colchester: Saint Michael’s College Miami Gardens: St. Thomas University Grand Rapids: Aquinas College Sparkill: St. Thomas Aquinas College Miami Shores: Barry University Syracuse: LeMoyne College Washington Minnesota Queens: St. John’s University Lacey: St. Martin’s College Hawaii Collegeville: St. John’s University Seattle: Seattle University Honolulu: Chaminade University Duluth: College of St. Scholastica Ohio Spokane: Gonzaga University Minneapolis: College of St. Catherine Cincinnati: Xavier University Illinois St. Joseph: College of Saint Benedict Cleveland Heights: John Carroll University West Virginia Chicago: DePaul University, Loyola Uni- St. Paul: St. Thomas University Dayton: University of Dayton Wheeling: Wheeling Jesuit University versity, St. Xavier University Winona: St. Mary’s University of Pepper Pike: Ursuline College Joliet: University of St. Francis Minnesota South Euclid: Notre Dame College Wisconsin River Forest: Dominican University in Illi- Sylvania: Lourdes College De Pere: St. Norbert College nois Missouri Madison: Edgewood College Romeoville: Lewis University Kansas City: Avila University, Oregon Milwaukee: Alverno College, Rockhurst University Marylhurst: Marylhurst University Cardinal Stritch University, Indiana St. Louis: Fontbonne University, Portland: University of Portland Marquette University Notre Dame: Holy Cross College, St. St. Louis University Mary’s College, Univ. of Notre Dame Canada Toronto: Regis College Page 8 BONDINGS Vol. 37, No. 3 Grandfather’s Struggle with Church & State for Transgender Grandchild By Francis Morgan It was clearly apparent to our family Bishop and, in conversation over several young girls, I never experienced that. I Bondings 2.0 that Joseph was transgender when he topics, I talked about the time when I don’t know what that is. I developed an NewWaysMinistry.org/blog was about 2 1/2 to 3 years old because he was police chief. I had created a “hate/ attraction to young boys like me. It June 17, 2918 was very persistent, consistent, and insis- biased crimes task force” with members wasn’t a preference that I chose. It just tent that he was a boy. The twins just of various minority communities. Be- was my orientation.” This incident The author is the grandfather of a turned five years old in September. cause a number of “gay-bashings” had caused me to think about my own hetero- transgender child. To protect the Everyone in our immediate and extended occurred in our community, our com- sexual orientation. It wasn’t a choice for identity of his family, he is using the family has been accepting and fully mand staff and I met with representatives me either; it just was. pseudonym “Francis Morgan.” The supportive of little Joseph. It was very of the LGBT community. I unwittingly I told the Bishop, “I believe that the other names in this post have also been satisfying to see Joseph so kind and loving God that I know would- changed for the same reason. overjoyed when he got his n’t damn someone to hell for living out haircut and dressed like the the life that God gave him or her. I be- My daughter, Marsha, is the mother boy he is. lieve you are born with your sexual of identical twins. Both were born with Our state is attempting to orientation.” the bodies of girls. Marsha always want- pass legislation to prohibit The Bishop responded, “Do you ed to name a daughter after my mother, professionals from seeking to have scientific proof?” Mary, so she named the twins Joanne change an individual’s sexual I was flabbergasted and couldn’t and Mary. Joanne always loved to wear orientation or gender identity. counter quickly enough to say, “Do you tutus and Mary wanted to wear I wrote to ask our legislators have scientific proof that lesbian and gay camouflage type outfits. to support this bill because I people are not born with their sexual For the last couple of years or more, believe strongly that medical orientation?” I find it hard to accept that Mary has insisted that he is a boy, not a and mental health providers the leaders of my Catholic Church are so girl, and he has taken the name Jo- should not engage in conver- harsh on this issue. seph. Joseph is greatly troubled that he sion or reparative therapy. We As a police officer, I saw suicides of doesn’t have a boy’s body and desper- need to protect LGBT youth. all sorts from young people to elderly ately wants a “pee part.” He has tried People must be allowed to be and by various means, including drugs various things such as urinating standing who they are. and guns. I even had brain matter drip up and placing a small branch in his On behalf of our Roman from a ceiling onto my head while I was vagina. He often reacts to his body by Catholic Bishop, the diocesan investigating a suicide. Having seen being defiant and actually hates his body. spokesperson, whom I greatly these senseless deaths, I now am fearful It breaks our hearts when we see him respect, testified in opposition for my own grandchild who could be led struggling in this way. to the bill during the bill’s to such an end of his life because of the Marsha, her husband, and their child public hearing. I was very pain that society and my own Church traveled to a children’s hospital in Balti- much saddened that the would place on him. more to meet with psychologists who Church that I love is so nar- Does my Catholic Church become specialize in transgender issues. After row-minded that it ignores complicit in such deaths by its positions talking at great length with the parents science and the mental well- on LGBT issues? Where is my “pro-life” and child, the psychologists confirmed being of God’s children. church? My Church needs to broaden its that Joseph fully identifies and firmly Joseph is going through such perspective and to communicate with believes that he is a boy. mental anxiety because people LGBT people and their families. LGBT Professionals say that gender will not accept the way God created people are hurting. I too, as a grandfather made the mistake of using the term identity begins in the womb and occurs him. We see him as a very special child of a transgender child, am hurting. I “sexual preference” at our first meeting. in the brain prior to the development of of God. The bill even exempts “the firmly believe that Jesus would be drawn A young man stood up and said, the child’s sex. Proof of the transgender church,” yet the church tries to impose to LGBT persons and bless them as his “Excuse me, Chief, but it isn’t ‘sexual identity comes when the child is its beliefs on civil society. How shameful own loving children that we all are. God preference.’ It’s ‘sexual orientation’.” He persistent, consistent, and insistent of the church, my church. does not make mistakes!  continued, “When I was young, and concerning who they are. I once had a meeting with our other boys developed an attraction to After All These Years, Still Coming Out. . . As Catholic

(Continued from page 5) It was a teachable moment, perhaps formed to be his own, he needed to you” (Luke 9:50) when someone was the church teachings around sexuality one of the more important ones in my 12- know that no – I did not, have not, and driving out demons from those suf- and gender to be regressive and repress- year career as a Catholic school mom. He cannot receive those teachings as they fering terribly. So all of my Sisters – I sive. To use my fancypants theological knew one of the men as “Father” – and stood then or now. My conscience is claim you, even if you don’t or can’t education, those teachings simply haven’t excellent catechesis in school, church, strong on this one, and my under- claim Catholicism right now. been received by the faithful. Church and home taught him the significance of standing of science, biology, sociology, Labels? Labels are messy. I think – teachings aren’t authoritative and humanity is in pretty decent shape, no, I know – that the priest who inno- just because someone in au- too. So, too, is my own comfort in at cently asked me, “So you’re still Cath- thority says them, as it turns least that part of my identity. “Queer as . olic?” –gets that. He exudes peace and out. The authority of the . . something” as my byline read in the compassion, but probably also en- teachings takes hold when the late 1980s. I still claim it as my own. counters people who expect judgment people of God say “Yeah – And yes. I also claim “Catholic.” I anyway. That’s what seems to be the that makes sense and conforms claim it for the Sisters of Mercy who Church’s specialty these days. to what both my rational mind taught me as a child to stand up when I But that’s not all we are. and well-formed conscience see injustice. Our school even had a club So yeah. I’m still Catholic. I’m ( see Catechism of the Catholic – “Catholics In Action” – or “CIA.” (No, saying it here, and it appears that I’ll be Church 1783) says is not creepy at all. I mean, love you dear- writing here from time to time, under my true.” Until or unless that ly, Sisters, but really? CIA?!?) I claim it own name, as long as they’ll have me. reception of the teachings in the name of Dorothy Day and the Life and the Day Job™ take my time happens, they’re not binding Catholic Worker movement, and Thom- too, but I’m hoping to offer y’all a little on the Catholic conscience. as Merton’s “Seven Storey Mountain.” I bread for the journey, and receive some (Lumen Gentium 12) also claim it in the name of the Sisters of as well. Be Church and show that It’s precisely that combi- Perpetual Indulgence who have served “church” doesn’t mean fear, rejection, or nation of rational thought the people of San Francisco and beyond damnation. We can say it and claim it (enshrined in Vatican II for generations, caring for “the least too. Catholic. Still Catholic. We’ve got in Gaudium et Spes 36) and among these” – people dying from AIDS this. Thanks be to God.  quite well-formed consciences, and living on the streets. Jesus said, thankyouverymuch, that has “Whoever is not against you is for led many people to leave the Roman Catholic Church. The departees include not a small number of priests and religious Gay Priest Comes Out who couldn’t teach what they (Continued from page 7) have suffered the Passion in our own know to not be true. Indeed, ask my brother gay priests to pray for lives.” ten years ago this summer, my the grace to reflect deeply on the ques- As I look back on those days when Catholic school-educated son tion. I can say that, for me, coming out I was in the closet, I am so grateful went on vacation with me in was and continues to be a blessing. that, through the gift of the Spirit, that the summer after he completed Folks who are facing personal struggles closet door was broken open. Through fourth grade, and found perceive me as more approachable be- that gift, I could become the person himself the official wedding cause they know I have had personal God intends me to be. Do I have any photographer for the marriage of two that role. But he also was receiving even struggles, too. Any illusion of being on regrets? Not a one! For the past 14 beloved friends. One half of the couple more important catechesis in honesty, a clerical pedestal has thankfully years, I have looked forward to March was in the process of leaving the integrity, and courage. Perhaps above all melted away. 25, the Feast of the Annunciation of the priesthood. It was a bit of a shotgun else, I wanted him to know that no matter Being a public person, I have many Lord, as the day an angel whispered in wedding due to the looming vote on what the Church or his dear old mom opportunities to counter the homo- my ear: “Fred, ‘Be not afraid.’” On that California’s Proposition 8, and so my son might ever say, he had to follow his own phobic prejudices that still exist in our day, love conquered fear in my rela- had the unique experience of seeing a conscience, his own heart’s desire. church and society. One of my favorite tionships with God, my neighbors and family friend preside at Mass, and then I knew that in a few short years he’d spiritual themes comes from the writ- my-self. Often, with gratitude I reflect several weeks later, say “I do” to the man hear more about the Church’s teachings ings and teaching of the Rev. Henri on the words: “We are as sick as our who became – and remains – his on homosexuality from people other than Nouwen, who said, “We tend to be secrets.”  husband. me, and while his conscience was to be compassionate to the extent that we