B NDINGS Vol. 38 No. 2 A Publication of New Ways Ministry Spring 2019 Francis Meets with LGBT+ Catholic Pilgrims in St. Peter’s Square By Robert Shine Anglicans, Catholics LGBTQ people, like meeting Bondings 2.0 and Methodists, in these pilgrims, have been a Www.NewWaysMinistry.org/blog the Church of defining and more positive March 12, 2019 St.Ignatius.” aspect of how he treats issues Pendergast, who of gender and sexuality. The In an historic moment for the Catholic has organized and pope previously met with a Church, members of a pilgrimage for led two previous man from LGBT+ Catholics and their families met LGBT+ pilgrimages who was excluded from his with last week and partici- to Rome, commented parish, with a former student pated in an Ash Wednesday service he to Bondings 2.0: who is , and with a French led. “We were taken youth injured while defending Following last Wednesday’s morning completely by sur- a gay couple from a hate audience in St. Peter’s Square, the pope prise to be told that crime. In 2015, pilgrims with was introduced to pilgrims with the we were going to New Ways Ministry received LGBT+ Catholics Westminster Pastoral have our photograph VIP seating during the Ash Council group from the Diocese of West- taken with Pope Wednesday papal audience. minster (London). A press statement Francis. Although we Pope Francis’ record is from the group explained: had asked Cardinal mixed. But with the sixth anni- “The Pilgrimage Leader, Martin Pen- Vincent Nichols’ versary of the pope’s election dergast, a member of the LGBT+ Catho- office to obtain Papal tomorrow, LGBT advocates lics Westminster Pastoral Council, intro- Audience tickets for should not lose sight of the duced the group to the smiling Pope us, we certainly had- Pope Francis with pilgrims from LGBT+ Catholics Westminster Pas- progress that has been made. It Francis, explaining that they formed part n’t requested this – toral Council was unthinkable in 2012 that a of the LGBT+ pastoral ministry outreach not even thought pope would meet with a pilgrim- of Westminster Diocese. . .Each pilgrim about it!” church which commemorates modern age of LGBT Catholics and their fami- received a gift of a from Pope Another pilgrim, who had attended martyrs. The group also met with Rome lies. Now we have a pope who expresses Francis who shook hands with the previous pilgrimages with the group, -based journalists, Christopher Lamb of welcome to all, even if imperfectly, and group’s members. said, “This just keeps getting better and The Tablet and Robert Mickens of La perhaps more importantly, allows for “Later, on Ash Wednesday afternoon, better!” Croix International for perspectives on groups like LGBT+ Catholics Westmin- the group was able to take part in Pope The LGBT+ Catholics Westminster Pope Francis’ Church reform strategy. ster to do the work of building an inclu- Francis’ Mass & Imposition of Ashes in pilgrimage also included Masses at sev- They also met with American moral the- sive Church. Martin Pendergast and the the Church of Santa Sabina. In the even- eral significant churches in Rome, and ologian, Professor James Keenan SJ, to English group should be applauded for ing the Group was warmly welcomed at remembered victims of and learn more about the pope’s response to their faithful efforts from which the Holy an Ecumenical Liturgy of the Word & at a morning prayer service the 2014/2015 Synods on the Family. Spirit has produced the great fruit of this Blessing of Ashes with English-speaking at St. Bartholomew-on-the-Tiber, a Francis’ personal encounters with bridge-building moment.  ‘We are all children of God,’ nun writes allowing same-sex union news in alumnae mag By Joe Heim The decision, which stands in con- Facebook to discuss the issue and urge The Washington Post trast to official church teaching on the school to change its policy. May 13, 2019 same-sex marriage, was greeted In her letter, Berchmans, who gradu- with a mixture of responses by the ated from Visitation in 1948 and was its The letter landed in email inboxes school community. Some called it headmistress for many years, wrote, early in May, and since then, students, “beautiful” and “overdue.” Others “Recently, a Visitation friend invited me parents and graduates of Washington’s labeled it a “great disappointment.” to reflect upon what it means to Live prestigious Georgetown Visitation Pre- In some quarters, there was unhap- Jesus in relationship with our LGBTQ paratory School have talked of little else. piness it took so long for the school alumnae.” It has been the subject of spirited discus- to reach this point, while a smaller That conversation — as well as sions, emotional exchanges, fervent Fa- number expressed anger that the “much prayerful consideration and cebook posts. school was veering from Catholic thoughtful dialogue” — led the school to Sister Mary Berchmans, the school’s doctrine. its new policy, she wrote. president emerita, wrote the letter that The school’s decision followed a In previous years, Visitation’s prac- has provoked so many reactions. push last month by several hundred tice was to deny requests by graduates to In her carefully worded missive that graduates who learned of an alumna have their same-sex unions announced in emphasized following “the Gospel com- who was told a few years ago that the magazine. Occasionally, those an- mandment of love,” Berchmans said the she could not have her marriage nouncements made it into the “Class 220-year-old Catholic girls academy will announced in the publication be- Notes” section of the magazine without publish announcements of same-sex un- Sister Mary Berchmans cause it was a same-sex union. The drawing attention, but officially they ions in its alumnae magazine. graduates formed a chat group on (Continued on page 8) LGBT Catholics Are a Reality: Theology Must Acknowledge Gender Science By Craig A. Ford term was used in the gathering’s prepara- the name that most now use for them- point driven home by Cardinal Ratzinger Commonweal tory documents. . . selves is part of the ‘respect’ called for in 1986: homosexuality is not an identity. December 19, 2018 Of course, when it comes to the by the Catechism…. Refusing to call a Rather, it is an adverse psychological ’s conversation about group by the name that most in the group condition. And on this logic—the same A pair of developments in the fall of queer persons, there’s nothing new about prefer borders on disrespect. L.G.B.T. logic, by the way, that rightly grounds 2018 helped illustrate once more the a conflict over something so small as youth, who are often harassed, bullied the conclusion that we should, for exam- need for an understanding of gender and how to refer to people who clearly al- and ‘called names’ are especially atten- ple, prefer the term “person living with sexual identity adequate to what we ready have shown a preference for how tive to disre- depression” to know about human sexuality. The first they would like to be named. But it has spectful lan- “depressed was the Trump administration’s proposed made it more clear than ever that the guage.” person”—we modification of Title IX to define “sex” current theology of sex and gender has Two things should not as either “male or female, unchangeable, run its course. are worth point- refer to per- and determined by the genitals that a Just consider how this theology typi- ing out here. The sons in ways person is born with,” leaving all cally, and predictably, is debated today. first is that both that may im- “disputed cases” to be resolved through On the one side, we have comments like of these state- ply that they genetic testing. This binary classification these from Charles Chaput ments reflect a are essentially of sexual identity would impact nearly of Philadelphia, writing against the use recurring dynam- defined by 1.4 million Americans who do not identi- of the term “LGBT” in church docu- ic in the Catholic something that fy with the gender indicated on their ments: understanding of they are, in birth certificates, prompting transgender “There is no such thing as an sexuality: the fact, manag- and gender-queer persons (and those who ‘LGBTQ Catholic,’ or a ‘transgender driving of a ing. stand with them) to characterize the pro- Catholic,’ or a ‘heterosexual Catholic,’as wedge between But this is posal as transphobic and anti-LGBTQ+. if our sexual appetites defined who we the “doctrinal” a nonstarter The second was the decision by are; as if these designations described approach to for queer per- at the 2018 Synod on Young discrete communities of differing but queer persons, sons— People not to include terms like “gay” or equal integrity within the real ecclesial and the “pastor- something “LGBT” in the synod’s final document community, the body of Jesus Christ.” al” approach to Martin realiz- when discussing theologies relevant to On the other, we have the words of queer persons. es. Even if the persons who identify somewhere along Fr. James Martin, S.J., writing in favor of Chaput himself teaching states the LGBTQ+ spectrum, or simply as the use of “LGBT” in church documents: emphasizes the Craig A. Ford that homosex- “queer”—even though the former “Referring to L.G.B.T. people with doctrinal (Continued on page 5) Page 2 BONDINGS Vol. 38, No. 2 B NDINGS German : The Catholic Church Spring 2019 Vol. 38, No. 2 Needs to Change Its View of Homosexuality. Bishop Franz-Josef Overbeck, of Essen, Germany, ground, Catholic moral teaching on this question will be penned an editorial entitled "Let’s Overcome Prejudices! intellectually marginalized to the extent that it avoids en- Francis DeBernardo, Editor The Catholic Church Needs to Change Its View of Homo- gaging with the experiences of human beings and the re- sexuality" for Herder Korrespondenz on February 19, flective human sciences. Board of Directors 2019. Paulist Press provided the following translation: This also means conducting the dialogue with the exe- Jeannine Gramick, SL, Chair getical and moral theological learning of the last decades in Dr. Jerry Fath "Few issues stir up more debate in the contemporary such a way that does not preclude any progress in learning Ryan Sattler Catholic Church than the question of the moral evaluation and knowledge from the outset. Only in this way can tradi- Cristina Traina of homosexuality. Globally, homosexual persons cannot be tion remain a living reality, as it has been since the dawn of secure in assuming even a minimum level of human re- Christianity. Because a strength of Catholic theology is its Board of Advisors spect. The urgency of our need to focus on the moral as- insistence on the rationality of Christian morality along Robert Brady sessment of homosexuality in the German Catholic Church with its resistance to fundamentalist temptations of sup- Rev. James Kiesel comes from our Bishops Conference's claim not to exclude posed "simple" answers, the Church’s doctrine must not Anne Marie Miller, RSM Catholic morality in its work on the alienate itself from historical human MHG study on sexual abuse. Ques- existence and its in-depth Staff tions and concerns arise about knowledge. whether some of the contents of our For issues of sexual morality, Francis DeBernardo, Executive Director [Catholic] sexual teaching may have particularly around homosexuality, Matthew Myers, Associate Director contributed to this disaster of sexual this means clearly distinguishing the Robert Shine, Associate Director abuse by making some phenomena culturally temporal notions expressed Dwayne Fernandes, Staff Associate of human sexuality taboo subjects. in biblical statements about same-sex This applies in particular to homo- sexuality from the foundational and Co-Founders sexuality, since we can assume that "transcendent" aspects of biblical Sr. Jeannine Gramick, SL our negative ecclesiastical appraisal ethics. This is the "Art of Distin- Rev. Robert Nugent, SDS has contributed to a psychologically guishing," by which we must discern and institutionally unhealthy repres- what can still be asserted today from Bondings is a seasonal publication designed sion or even denial of this form of the complexity of the biblical tradi- to keep our subscribers informed of issues sexual expression. tion and the tradition of the Church. that pertain to LGBT people Whatever connections need to For we are right to expect the Catho- and the Catholic Church. be seen here, one thing is clear— lic Church to seek what is good and namely, neither the heterosexual nor truly human—which is where God's the homosexual orientation of a per- will comes to meet us—in all times Founded in 1977, New Ways Ministry Bishop Franz-Josef Overbeck son as such can or should be thought and places. is an educational and bridge-building of as the cause of sexual abuse. In the Therefore, the Catholic Church can ministry of reconciliation between the opinion of experts, there is also no internal connection be- only be satisfied when, through in-depth knowledge of hu- Catholic LGBT community tween pedophilia and homosexuality. Thus, it is frankly man sexuality, we overcome prejudices of bygone times and the institutional structures outlandish to argue that the problem of sexual abuse could that are still having a fatal effect. Specifically, for homo- in the Roman Catholic Church. be solved by restricting priestly ordination to heterosexual sexual persons, "depathologizing" homosexuality means an men. It seems to me that such an approach would perpetu- overdue release from a history of sometimes immense suf- New Ways Ministry seeks to eradicate ate and even strengthen the taboos that have already led to fering right up to the present time. In recent years, many prevalent myths and stereotypes our deeply problematic intra-church repressions. Wouldn’t conversations with concerned people have stirred my re- about homosexuality and gender identity it also nurture the dangerous illusion of having a simple flection, touched me deeply and led to a widening of my and supports civil rights for LGBT persons remedy for such a complex problem as sexual abuse? perspective. So, it is time now for us to have an ecclesial in society. One thing is clear: all human beings are capable of conversation about our perceptions and evaluations of ho- deeply respectful and loving interpersonal relationships. To mosexuality. We must conduct in such a way that the bare- exclude whole groups of persons from such relationships is ly scabbed over wounds of past injuries are not ripped open New Ways Ministry a prejudice that weighs heavily on those affected and ulti- again. This step is called for irrespective of [what we think 4012 29th Street mately contributes to discrimination against them or even about] the sensitive question of the church status of same- to criminalizing them. In my judgment, there are well- sex relationships and life partnerships. Above all, with re- Mount Rainier, Maryland 20712 grounded reasons for thinking that the mere repetition of spect to the subject of homosexuality, we should heed the (301) 277-5674 previous perceptions and evaluations of homosexuality confidence of the Second Vatican Council: "The humble [email protected] based only on natural law considerations contributes to the and persevering investigations of the secrets of nature are NewWaysMinistry.org dramatic loss of credibility of Catholic sexual moral teach- being led, as it were, by the hand of God, even unawares, ing even among believers closely connected to the church. for it is God, the conserver of all things, who made them Today, humanizing sexuality—whatever its expres- what they are" (Gaudium et Spes, par. 36)."  sion—must mean personalizing it. Against this back- TO SUBSCRIBE COMPLETE AND RETURN THE FORM More Positive LGBTQ Comments from Church Leaders BELOW In addition to Bishop Overbeck’s editorial (above), a number of leading church officials from around the globe have recent- ly been making positive public statements about LGBTQ issues. The following are a sampling of these statements.

Enclosed is: In a December 2018 interview with a local newspaper, Bishop Dieter Geerlings, an auxiliary in Münster, called for the Church to bless same-gender couples who _____ $25.00 in the US or Canada are civilly married: “‘I’m not for “marriage for all,” but if two homosexuals enter a same-sex relation- _____ $35.00 outside US or Canada ship, if they want to take responsibility for each other, then I can bless this mutual re- sponsibility. . .This is valuable and praiseworthy, even if this bond is not in complete _____ I wish to receive Bondings, agreement with the church.” but cannot donate at this time. In in a January 10, 2019 interview with the Neue Osnabrucker Zeitung, Bishop Name ______Franz-Josef Bode of the Diocese of Osnabrück, the deputy chairman of the Ger-

Bishop Dieter Geerlings man Bishops Conference, said: Address ______“Even though ‘marriage for all’ clearly differs from the church’s understanding of marriage, it is now a political reality . . . We have to ask ourselves how we should deal with people who tie this knot. Some City ______of them are active in the church. So how are we going to accompany them with pastoral care and in the liturgy?...We could think about giving them a blessing.” State ______Cardinal Christoph Schönborn, Archbishop of Vienna, and a close advisor to Pope DayPhone ______Francis, said in a January 30, 2019 interview with Stern magazine, a leading Ger- man language publication: Night Phone ______“Personally, I find it touching that at a time when marriage is losing its radiance, cou- ples who feel and live homosexuality want that ultimate form of partnership.” Schönborn Cell Phone ______added that “we have long accepted” the state allowing for civil marriage equality which recognizes same-gender couples in law, and agreed that, “if a parliamentary majority Email ______wants it, the state should do it that way.” He was clear, however, that the Church’s posi- tion on marriage is that it only exists between a man and a woman.

Please make check payable to “New Ways In an April 17, 2019 interview with Anne Thompson of NBC-TV’s Today show, Ministry”. Outside the US, please use only Cardinal Joseph Tobin, Archbishop of Newark New Jersey, commented on church checks drawn on a US bank in US dollars or language about LGBT people: Cardinal Christoph go to www.newwaysministry.org. Thompson: “But how can you welcome people that you call ‘intrinsically disordered?” Schönborn Mail to: Tobin: “Well I don’t call them ‘intrinsically disordered.’ ” New Ways Ministry Thompson: “But isn’t that the Catechism of the Catholic Church?” 4012 29th Street Tobin: “That is. It’s very unfortunate language. Let’s hope that eventually that language is a little less hurtful.” Mount Rainier, MD 20712

(Continued on page 4) Spring 2019 BONDINGS Page 3 LGBT Bar Association Director Offers Glimpse of Historic Vatican Meeting

By D’Arcy Kemnitz Since I was raised in the Catholic tion of homosexuality is a pressing issue preme Court found a compelling dignity Bondings 2.0 Church, attending a meeting at the Vati- globally and here in the United States. interest for LGBTQ+ people and ruled Www.NewWaysMinistry.org can regarding official recognition of the Seventy countries currently criminalize that the sodomy laws violate the U.S. April 23, 2019 rights of my community was deeply homosexuality. In the United States, Constitution’s Equal Protection Clause. moving. The mere fact that the Church twelve states still have anti-sodomy laws In the U.S., criminal sodomy laws or On the morning of April 5, 2019, I ar- accepted this meeting and is committed even after the landmark case Lawrence similar criminal provisions are still on rived at the Vatican to meet with Cardi- to a dialogue to help end the animus v. Texas (2003) in which the U.S. Su- the books in Alabama, Florida, Idaho, nal Pietro Parolin, the Holy See’s Secre- against LGBTQ+ individuals demon- Kansas, Louisiana, Michigan, Mississip- tary of State. He is responsible for all strates the great strides made by the pi, North Carolina, Oklahoma, South affairs of state and policy of the Vatican. Church to support civil rights for all peo- Carolina, Texas, and Utah. These laws I was part of a delegation from the Inter- ple. continue to force LGBTQ+ people to national Bar Association that was grant- Our meeting was both inspirational live their lives in the shadows, under ed an audience at the Vatican to discuss and productive. The Baroness Kennedy threat of criminal persecution, and rele- the global decriminalization of homosex- gave a particularly poignant speech gate gay individuals to the status of sec- uality and to urge leaders of the Catholic about the plight of LGBTQ+ people ond-class citizens. Church to actively support decriminali- worldwide and urged the Vatican and its It takes no leap of faith to tie these zation. representatives to see our meeting as a secularly abusive laws to subsequent This international legal delegation beginning of a communication on this hate crimes and criminal physical and was composed of more than fifty leaders matter. Justice Kirby’s account of his mental abuse. We implore the Holy See from dozens of organizations worldwide personal struggle to reconcile his sexual to take a stand against criminalizing and included Mark Ellis, Executive Di- orientation with the secular law and with LGBTQ+ individuals. rector of the International Bar Associa- a powerful faith like Catholicism moved LGBTQ+ individuals will never be tion; Baroness Helena Kennedy, the Di- me to tears. Cardinal Parolin and his truly equal–or safe–as long as these ar- rector of the Human Rights Institute of attendants promised to take these views chaic and bigoted secular laws continue the International Bar Association; and directly to Pope Francis himself. to exist. The LGBT Bar is committed to the Honorable Michael Kirby, a Co- After the event, the Baroness, Judge ending the criminalization of homosexu- Chair of the International Bar Associa- Kirby and Attorney Leonardo Raznovich ality nationally and internationally, and tion’s Human Rights Institute. Both Bar- held a press conference that was fol- urges the Catholic Church to join us – oness Kennedy and Justice Kirby are lowed by a lunch meeting in which all and the other representatives and groups known worldwide for their commitment esteemed individuals including powerful in our historic meeting.  Matthias Stupp, Co-Chair of the In- to human rights. It was truly humbling to allies like Former Governor Bill Rich- be included in this gathering of top legal ardson of New Mexico, among others, ternational Bar Association LGBT D’Arcy Kemnitz is the executive director scholars, human rights activists, barris- pledged to continue working against Committee, and D’Arcy Kemnitz, of the LGBT Bar Association. ters, attorneys, and eminent religious criminalization of our community. Executive Director of the U.S.-based leaders. As readers already know, criminaliza- LGBT Bar Association, after the Vat- ican meeting. LGBTQI Pilgrimage to World Youth Day Brought Hope to Thousands

By Catherine Buck ping us. “I love your banner,” they most- to go, several people stopped to ask what met moments later who took our rainbow Bondings 2.0 ly said. “Can we take a picture?” We she would have said. With their encour- buttons and distributed them to her entire Www.NewWaysMinistry.org responded enthusiastically, gesturing for agement, she returned to the stage and group. February 12, 2019 them to join us and adding, “Find us asked once more to be heard. About midweek, I was asked how I online, #equallyblessed!” These pictures Her question was carefully worded could justify staying in the church, and I Last month, Pope Francis visited the of our sometimes sweaty and tired but and from the heart: “What I love most said that I didn’t think I could without Central American isthmus for the first always smiling group can now be found about the Catholic faith is the dignity of being part of Equally Blessed and with- time, landing in Panama for World on the social media landscapes of dozens all people. But what I feel as an LGBT out my writing at New Ways Ministry’s Youth Day, the largest single gathering of countries. By the end of the week, we person is that my dignity and the dignity Bondings 2.0. Catholicism has always of Catholic young people on the planet. I were going viral: people weaving to- of my family is not always respected. been a home for me, but I can’t justify was there, too, with a community of six wards us from across a packed field, ask- How would you respond to that?” The being here if it can’t become that home pilgrims sponsored by Equally Blessed, a ing, “Are you Equally Blessed? We’ve speaker’s response was a general senti- for everyone who wants it. Above this, coalition of three Catholic organizations been looking for you!” ment of caring, though without much in though, I responded that this church is which work for LGBTQI equality (Call After each photograph, we gave out the way of concrete affirmation. Yet re- made up of much more than the hierar- To Action, DignityUSA, New Ways rainbow striped buttons which read “I am gardless of how he had chosen to re- chy. It is the hundreds who came up to us Ministry). Equally Blessed” and “It’s Our Church spond, the true impact of Meli’s bravery with tears and joy, questions and bless- We were there to Too.” I translated this for the came after the session had ended. We ings. It is the clergy who took our but- advocate for the full huge numbers of Latin were surrounded once again by support- tons and wore them proudly, it is the rights and inclusion of American pilgrims we en- ers, grateful that she had spoken up. One folks who saw us and did not come up LGBTQI people in the countered: Es nuestro iglesia in particular stands out: a group leader but will remember that we were there. It Catholic church. Our tambien. We posted about who hugged her and whispered that he is the incredible group I got to travel goal was mostly to the experience on our own too was gay, then took a button and with, and it is the young people who will meet with people, to be social media pages, and we pinned it to the inside of his shirt. lead us into so much good to come. present and visible. We found a wider reach in Meli, who left her job in church min- At the opening ceremonies, Pope were standing as an LGBTQI Panamanians who istry to be able to marry her wife, later Francis recalled the words of St. Oscar intentional counter to were otherwise disconnected shared that the gay group leader’s action Romero, saying: “A saint from these any anti-LGBTQI offi- from World Youth Day. For reminded her of something she might lands liked to say that, ‘Christianity is cial messaging, and example, we met the amaz- have done years before. I thought then of not a collection of truths to be believed, seeing the Pope wasn’t ing founder of a support how many people had been affected by of rules to be followed, or of prohibi- necessarily top on our group for trans men, a gay her question, well beyond those who had tions. Seen that way it puts us off. Chris- list of priorities. The Catherine Buck wearing couple who run a YouTube gone out of their way to approach us tianity is a person who loved me im- afternoon of his arrival, her rainbow identifier at channel (and helped our mes- immediately afterwards. I thought about mensely, who demands and asks for my we were taking a break World Youth Day sage spread across the coun- the young woman we met on our very love. Christianity is Christ.” from the chaos of min- try), and a podcast first walk through a Panamanian mall. There is plenty of work to do, but I gling with the excited crowds, leisurely host who spent a full day showing us She was in tears. That morning she had left World Youth Day with a burning eating gelato and reflecting on the day. around the old city. endured homophobic comments by a hope that Romero’s vision can be true. Then we heard the raucous screams from While the overwhelming majority of priest, but could hardly contain her joy at  just a few blocks away: airhorns and people greeted us with enthusiasm, there finding us there. I thought of the nun we vuvuzelas and radio speakers. A few of were some pointed looks, murmurs, and us raced in the direction of the noise. Just a few discouraging incidents of critical as we rounded the corner and reached the questioning. Two mornings, we went to crowd, there he went: the Popemobile a English-speaking catechesis, where a flash and a blur, the pontiff’s face in fo- visiting priest would give a short lecture, cus for just a second. answer some questions, and then lead the We screamed and hugged, turned to group in mass. These were spaces popu- the rest of our group in shock that we lated by more US Catholics than else- had reached the crowd at the exact right where at WYD. The vibe there was dif- moment. “I’m shaking,” said Breanna ferent: there wasn’t a tremendous amount Mekuly, one of our pilgrims. “I didn’t of outright hostility, but our group mem- think I would care that much, but I did.” bers sometimes felt we were on edge and If we felt lucky at getting to see the were being stared down. pope, the majority of our week was spent At our second morning of catechesis, being seen by others. Virtually every- we decided to participate in the question where we went, we wore rainbow sashes and answer session. One of our group, and often carried a wide banner pro- Meli Barber, got in line wearing her rain- claiming our mission: “Faithful Catholics bow sash, mentally rehearsing a question committed to full equality for LGBTQI at the heart of our trip: Where was the persons.” The banner turned heads on respect and compassion for LGBTQI bumpy side streets and on the wide high- people that the church professes it has for ways designated for official World everyone? Just when it would have been Youth Day gatherings. Sometimes we her turn, they announced that the previ- could barely move 10 feet in as many ous question was the last. It felt disap- minutes because the crowds kept stop- pointingly predictable, but as she turned Equally Blessed pilgrims with local Panamanian LGBTQI advocates. Page 4 BONDINGS Vol. 38, No. 2 More Positive LGBTQ Comments from Church Leaders

(Continued from page 2) help her to progress is even suggested, and was choosing to go against nature. When I towards that love, I don’t blame them.” tried to counsel them, my counseling was of In October 2018, Monsignor Olivier Rib- that recognition, that This language of no help because according to the teaching, adeau-Dumas, secretary general and love,’ Ribadeau- “intrinsically disor- developing an intimate friendship with spokesperson of the Bishops’ Conference Dumas encouraged dered,” according to someone of the same sex would be a sin. of France, spoke to an LGBT Catholic those present at the Gumbleton, makes the My advice to them was to break off any group, Becoming One in Christ. Two talk, paraphrasing Church somewhat such friendships because I felt that it was European publications recently captured Saint Teresa of Li- complicit in homo- simply a choice and not a friendship that some of his comments: sieux.” phobia because it was based on their identity as a homosexual “I think there is something in every true “creates fear, anger person. In fact, asking them to give up love relationship that tells us of the love of In an April 13, 2019 and causes people to friendships, obviously, was not the right God, whatever that relationship is. . .I know National Catholic make false judgments advice. Everyone needs close friends. I felt that if God is love and if two people really Reporter interview about LGBT people.” I was guiding them away from occasions of love each other, then there is something that conducted by Italian Gumbleton spoke sin when in fact I was eliminating their is inevitably linked to that. . .A love that journalist Giovanni personally about how opportunity for real friendships.” goes so far as to give one’s life for one who Panettierre, Bishop his gay brother’s com- Asked if chastity was the only way for a loves, that love cannot fail to tell us some- , ing out affected the same-gender couple to live, Gumbleton said thing about God’s love for us.” (from Ri- retired auxiliary bishop’s own minis- he now believes he has “no right to inter- poste Catholique, March 25, 2018) bishop of , try. His seminary for- fere” in the conscience decisions of two On April 3, 2019, Religión Digital re- made a number of mation, Gumbleton people and the model for ministry in this ported further comments from the event: positive comments said, left him “not regard should be Pope Francis who said, “Things are progressing” in the Church as about LGBT people: prepared well” to min- “Who am I to judge?” Bishop Thomas Gumbleton in a mi- regards respect for homosexuals: “we just Panettierre: ister with lesbian and ter with a pink triangle, cross, and have to give them time,” said the spokes- “According to Catho- gay people because he In April 2019, Bishop Georg Bätz- man for the French bishops, adding that he lic teaching, a parent rainbow ribbon. believed homosexuali- ing began a process in the Diocese of hopes that gays will find more and more should tell his or her ty “was a choice and therefore a sin.” He Limburg, to discuss blessings for people acceptance in the hearts of parishes, and not gay or lesbian child that homosexuality is explained further in this exchange: in relationships that cannot be married in only in specialized pastoral ministries. ‘objectively disordered.’ Don’t you think Panettiere: “Did you make mistakes, as the Catholic Church, including same- “ ‘I understand how impatient you are, but this idea would hurt that child?” a parish priest, in your pastoral accompani- gender couples. He wrote a letter to church let’s give [the Church] time, it’s reassuring, Gumbleton: “Yes. No parent should ever ment of gays and ?” employees asking them to discuss the issue. after all, it has progressed and there are tell a child that he or she is intrinsically Gumbleton: “Yes, because I heard con-  more steps forward. In the heart of the disordered. For the church to teach such a fessions with the mindset of homosexual Church, be love, love her, and from within, thing is insulting to the parent and child. actions being sinful because the penitent I’ve had parents become very angry if that LGBT-friendly Catholic Parishes & Communities Below is a list of known LGBT-friendly Catholic parishes and intentional Eucharistic communities. Thank you for helping us add to this growing list. If you are aware of a parish or community that welcomes LGBT Catholics, please let us know. Tell us if this welcome is because of a support program, spirituality group, mis- sion statement, participation in LGBT community events, or involvement with parents. To add your faith com- munity to our list, please contact New Ways Ministry at [email protected] or call 301-277- 5674. Parishes are listed first and intentional Eucharistic communities follow. For links to many of these par- ishes’ websites, go to www.NewWaysMinistry.org

Pasadena: Assumption of the B.V.M. Wilmington: St. Joseph, Sacred Heart Louisville: Epiphany, Cathedral of the Redondo: St. Lawrence Martyr Oratory Assumption, St. William Redwood City: St. Matthias Ross: St. Anselm District of Columbia Sacramento: St. Francis of Assisi Holy Trinity, St. Matthew Cathedral Louisiana New Orleans: St. Augustine PARISHES San Carlos: St. Charles San Diego: Ascension, St. John the Florida

Evangelist, St. Jude Shrine, Catho- Cocoa Beach: Our Savior Maine Alabama lic Community of UC San Diego Daytona Beach: Portland: Sacred Heart-St. Dominic Decatur: Annunciation of the Lord San Dimas: Holy Name of Mary Flagler Beach: Santa Maria del Mar Saco: Most Holy Trinity Montgomery: St. Bede San Francisco: Most Holy Redeemer, Ft. Lauderdale: Blessed Sacrament, St.

Old St. Mary Cathedral, St. Agnes, Anthony, St. Maurice Maryland Arizona St. Dominic, St. Ignatius, St. Teresa Key West: Basilica of St. Mary Star of Baltimore: Corpus Christi, Glendale: St. Thomas More of Avila the Sea St. Francis of Assisi, St. Ignatius, Mesa: St. Bridget San Jose: St. Julie Billiart, St. Petersburg: Holy Cross St. Matthew, St. Vincent dePaul Tucson: St. Cyril of Alexandria, San Luis Obispo: Mission San Luis Tampa: Sacred Heart Columbia: St. John the Evangelist Ss. Peter and Paul, St. Pius X, San Ramon: St. Joan of Arc Gaithersburg: St. Rose of Lima Our Mother of Sorrows, St. Odilia San Raphael: Church of San Raphael Georgia Hagerstown: St. Ann Atlanta: Shrine of the Immaculate Severn: St. Bernadette California & Mission San Raphael Arcangel Conception Baldwin Park: St. John the Baptist Santa Barbara: OL of Guadalupe Massachusetts Berkeley: Holy Spirit Parish Santa Cruz: Holy Cross Idaho Amherst: Newman Catholic Center of Burney: St Francis of Assisi Santa Monica: St. Monica Spring Valley: Santa Sophia Boise: St. Mary UMass Carlsbad: St. Patrick Boston: St. Joseph, Paulist Center, Camarillo: Padre Serra Parish Stanford: Catholic Community at Stan- ford University Illinois St. Anthony Shrine, St. Cecilia Claremont: Our Lady of Assumption Berwyn: St. Mary of the Celle Buzzard’s Bay: St. Margaret’s/St. Mary’s El Cajon: St. Luke South Pasadena: Holy Family Valinda: St. Martha Chicago: Immaculate Conception, East Longmeadow: St. Michael Encino: Our Lady of Grace St. Clement, St. Gertrude, Medford: Catholic Community at Tufts Escondido: St. Timothy Vernon: Holy Angels Catholic Church of the Deaf St. Gregory, St. Peter, St. Sylvester, University Fremont: St. Joseph-Mission San Jose St. Teresa of Avila, St. Thomas the Newton: St. Ignatius Fresno: St.. Paul Catholic Newman Walnut Creek: St. John Vianney West Hollywood: St. Ambrose, Apostle, Our Lady of Lourdes, Our Provincetown: St. Peter Center Lady of Mt. Carmel, Sharon: Goleta: St. Mark Univ. Parish St. Victor Whittier: St. Mary of the Assumption Old St. Patrick Springfield: Sacred Heart Hawthorne: St. Joseph (Spanish) Clarendon Hills: Notre Dame Whitinsville: St. Patrick Hayward: All Saints Colorado Country Club Hills: St. Emeric Huntington Beach: Sts. Simon and Jude Arvada: Spirit of Christ Evanston: St. Nicholas Michigan LaPuente: St. Martha Avon: St. Edward Inverness: Holy Family Ann Arbor: St. Mary Student Parish Lemon Grove: St. John of the Cross Colorado Springs: Sacred Heart Johnston City: St. Paul Detroit: St. Leo, Christ the King, Gesu Long Beach: St. Matthew, Our Lady of Denver: St. Dominic, Christ the King, Morton Grove: St. Martha Parish Refuge Our Lady of Mount Carmel, St. Igna- Oak Park: Ascension, St. Catherine of Livonia: St. Edith Los Angeles: Blessed Sacrament, tius Loyola Sienna-St. Lucy, St. Giles St. Ignace: St. Ignatius Loyola Christ the King, Mother of Good Lafayette: Immaculate Conception Schaumburg: St. Marcelline Westland: Ss. Simon and Jude Counsel, St. Camillus Center-LA Lakewood: St. Bernadette USC Medical Center (Spanish), Littleton: Light of the World, Indiana Minnesota St. Agatha, St. Paul the Apostle, St Frances Cabrini Dyer: St. Maria Goretti Minneapolis: St. Frances Cabrini, St. Anselm Indianapolis: St. Thomas Aquinas St. Joan of Arc North Hollywood: St. Jane Frances de Connecticut St. Paul: St. Thomas More Chantal, St. Patrick Guilford: St. George’s Iowa Oakland: Our Lady of Lourdes, St. Co- Hartford: St. Patrick-St. Anthony Coralville: St. Thomas More Missouri lumba, St. Jarleth Des Moines: Holy Trinity Kansas City: Guardian Angels, Oceanside: St. Thomas More Delaware Holy Family, St. James, St. Francis Orange: Holy Family Cathedral North Wilmington: Holy Child Kentucky Xavier Palm Springs: St. Theresa, Our Lady of Lexington: Historic St. Paul Church, St. Joseph: St. Francis Xavier Guadalupe, Our Lady of Solitude St. Peter Claver (Continued on page 5) Spring 2019 BONDINGS Page 5 LGBT Catholics Are a Reality: Theology Must Acknowledge Gender Science

(Continued from page 1) know about human embodiment and sex- one’s psychological constitution. What “Who we are as creatures, what it uality constitutes a sort of “objective ual experience. . . .Good ethics begins do we know in 2018? Speaking specifi- means to be human, why we should im- disorder” or that transgender identity with lived human experience informed cally about intersex persons, Fausto- agine we have any special dignity at somehow dishonors God as creator, such by the virtues of justice and equal regard, Sterling writes: all—these are the chronic questions be- an approach will do nothing to increase and by respect for better understandings “An XX baby can be born with a hind all our anxieties and conflicts. And the number of queer persons in our con- of human embodiment that we’ve gained penis, an XY person may have a vagina, the answer to all of them will not be gregations. The term “LGBTQ+ Catho- over time. Let’s begin here. and so on. These kinds of inconsisten- found in ideologies or the social scienc- lic,” at the very least, validates the expe- This means that we cannot talk about cies throw a monkey wrench into any es, but only in the person of Jesus Christ, rience that queer persons have of their what the world should be like until we plan to assign sex as male or female, redeemer of man.” own identities—it is not something they come to an understanding of what the categorically and in perpetuity, just by To oppose “the person of Jesus are “managing.” The use of the term as- world is like. The same goes for under- looking at a newborn’s private parts.” Christ, redeemer” to “the social scienc- sures queer persons that, regardless of standing gender and sexuality. And for The truth is that our theology of sex es” is to employ a dichotomy that the how the theological conversation ends an understanding of what gender and and gender does not reflect the actual Catholic tradition cannot sustain. . . . It around sexuality, it nevertheless begins sexuality is like, we need to turn to scien- world that God has created for us. It re- is one thing to disagree with scientific with each person on equal footing. In tists (though, of course, not exclusively flects, instead, an understanding from findings, but it is another thing to find other words—and as Francis in his papa- to them) who study the phenomena that the world of another time. But more im- them simply inadmissible. . . . cy has relentlessly pointed out through we are interested in. For homosexuality, portantly, such a theology does not re- Just as the Trump administration comments validating the experience of the results have been in for decades: flect a truly Catholic method of studying threatens to undo decades of work in queer persons—there is no other ap- same-sex attraction, far from constituting sexuality, which has typically come creating a more just world for queer per- proach to queer issues other than to a psychological disorder, is actually a through the framework of natural law. sons, deferring to an understanding of maintain a humble respect for how queer normal trait observed in human sexual The natural law, as an ethical frame- sex and gender that doesn’t comport persons experience their own embodi- experience. And as Anne Fausto-Sterling, work, represents an approach to human with the world in which we actually live, ment. There is, then, no other approach a professor of biology and gender studies flourishing that begins with an honest so we Catholics are exiling ourselves besides a pastoral approach. Such is the at Brown University, pointed out in a assessment of what it’s like to be hu- from the world with our current theolog- way of mercy—indeed, such is the way recent column in the New Y ork Times, mans running about in the world. This ical framework for making sense of sex of the Lord Jesus—that Francis is trying the complexity of gender identity is requires, in the case of understanding and gender. We need to understand the to model for us. something scientists have been learning human sexuality, a broad consultation trajectory of human sexual flourishing as The second point to make is that this about since the 1950s. The existence of with scientific and philosophical ap- one that maintains a critical openness to entire conversation about nomenclature transgender, genderqueer, and intersex proaches to human sexuality. . . . how researchers have been able to shed distracts us from the conversation that we persons challenges the notion that gender But this is precisely what Archbish- light on sex and gender identity over should be having, which is about how to comes to us in a prepackaged binary. op Chaput seems not to want us to do. In time. We should expect this from our- bring our theology about gender and sex- Intersex persons challenge this binary at the same speech in which he discour- selves; we should expect it equally from ual identity into alignment with reality— the level of biological constitution; trans aged the use of “LGBT” within church our church’s leaders.  that is, into alignment with what we and genderqueer persons, at the level of documents, he also said the following:

(Continued from page 4) Wantagh: St. Frances de Chantal Roanoke: St. Gerard St. Louis: St. Cronan, St. Margaret of West Islip: Our Lady of Lourdes Triangle: St. Francis Scotland, St. Pius V Westbury: St. Brigid Virginia Beach: St. Nicholas

Montana North Carolina Washington Billings: Holy Rosary, St. Pius X Charlotte: St. Peter Seattle: Christ Our Hope, St. Benedict, Durham: Immaculate Conception St. James Cathedral, St. Joseph, Nebraska Fayetteville: St. Patrick St. Mary’s Omaha: Holy Family, Sacred Heart, Raleigh: St. Francis of Assisi Spokane: St. Aloysius St. John Parish (Creighton University) Tacoma: St. Leo Ohio Nevada Akron: St. Bernard Wisconsin Las Vegas: Christ the King, Cincinnati: St. George-St. Monica, Fond du Lac: Holy Family Guardian Angel Cathedral St. Robert Bellarmine, St. Francis de Madison: Our Lady Queen of Peace Sales Menomonee Falls: Good Shepherd New Hampshire Cleveland: Blessed Trinity, Milwaukee: St. Bernadette, Good Merrimack: St. John Neumann St. Malachi, St. Martha Shepherd, Prince of Peace, Trinity Bristol: St. Nicholas of Tolentino Pelham: St. Patrick Columbus: St. Thomas More -Guadalupe, Our Lady of Lourdes London: Church of the Immaculate Newman Center, St. Francis of Wauwatosa: St. Pius X Conception (Mayfair) New Jersey Assisi Hoboken: Our Lady of Grace Fairlawn: St. Hilary Outside the U.S. Ireland Keyport: St. Joseph Mentor: St. John Vianney Lawrenceville: St. Ann Dublin: Orlagh in the City University Heights: Church of Gesu Canada Long Beach Island: St. Francis of Westlake: St. Ladislas Montreal: Holy Cross, Saint-Pierre- Assisi Northern Ireland Wooster: St. Mary of the Immaculate Apôtre, Belfast: Clonard Monastery Parish Maplewood: St. Joseph Conception Ottawa: St. Joseph Monmouth: Precious Blood Toronto: Our Lady of Lourdes Pompton Lakes: St. Mary Oregon South Plainfield: Sacred Heart Beaverton: Spirit of Grace England Tinton Falls: St. Anselm Portland: St. Andrew, St. Francis of Turnersville: Sts. Peter and Paul Assisi, St. Phillip Neri, Down- INTENTIONAL EUCHARISTIC COMMUNITIES town Chapel (St. Vincent de New Mexico Paul), St.Ignatius Arizona Ohio Albuquerque: Holy Family, Scottsdale: Franciscan Renewal Dayton: Living Beatitudes Community Espanola: Sacred Heart of Jesus Pennsylvania Center Danville: St. Joseph Oregon New York Latrobe: St. Vincent Basilica California Portland: Journey and Koinonia Albany: St. Vincent DePaul Philadelphia: Old St. Joseph, Pleasanton: Catholic Community of Catholic Community Baldwinsville: St. Augustine Old St. Mary, St. John the Pleasanton Bellmore: St. Barnabas the Apostle Evangelist, St. Vincent DePaul San Diego: Mary Magdalene Catholic Pennsylvania Bellport: Mary Immaculate Wilkinsburg: St. James Community Drexel Hill: St. Mary Magdalene Binghamton: St. Francis of Assisi San Francisco: Dignity/San Francisco Community Brooklyn: St. Andrew the Apostle, Rhode Island Pittsburgh: Dignity//Pittsburgh St. Boniface, St. Athanasius, Providence: St. Raymond District of Columbia St. Augustine, Immaculate.Heart of Wickford: St. Bernard Communitas Virginia Mary Arlington: NOVA Catholic Community Buffalo: St. Joseph University Parish Tennessee Florida Deer Park: Ss. Cyril and Methodius Memphis: St. Patrick, Cathedral of the Tampa: Franciscan Center Washington East Islip: St. Mary Immaculate Conception Lacey: Holy Wisdom Inclusive Elmira: St. Mary Iowa Catholic Community Fairport: Church of the Assumption Texas Coralville: Full Circle Small Faith Henrietta: Good Shepherd Austin: Univ.of Texas Catholic Center Community Wisconsin Ithaca: St. Catherine of Siena Colleyville: Good Shepherd Madison: Holy Wisdom Monastery Manhattan: Ascension, Blessed Sacra- Dallas: Holy Trinity Maryland Milwaukee: Mary of Magdala, Apostle ment, Holy Name of Jesus, St. El Paso: All Saints Baltimore, Annapolis, Thurmont: to the Apostles Francis deSales, St. Francis of Assi- Houston: St. Anne, St. Teresa Living Water Inclusive Catholic si, St. Francis Xavier, St. Ignatius Odessa: St. Elizabeth Ann Seton Community Loyola, St. Paul the Apostle Plano: St. Elizbeth Ann Seton Greenbelt: Greenbelt Catholic Outside the U.S. Pittsford: Church of Transfiguration Community Rochester: Blessed Sacrament, Virginia Ireland St. Mary (Downtown), St. Monica Arlington: Our Lady Queen of Peace Michigan Dublin: Orlagh in the City Saratoga Springs: St. Peter Glen Allen: St. Michael the Archangel Grand Rapids: Marywood Schenectady: St. Luke Kalamazoo: Lambda Catholic Korea Syracuse: St. Lucy, All Saints Mechanicsville: Church of the Re- Seoul: Alpha Omega Commuinity Utica: Our Lady of Mount Carmel, deemer Minnesota Historic Old St. John’s Richmond: Cathedral of the Sacred Minneapolis: Spirit of St. Stephen's Wading River: St. John the Baptist Heart, Sacred Heart Parish Catholic Community Page 6 BONDINGS Vol. 38, No. 2 ‘It Is Not a Closet. It Is a Cage.’ Gay Catholic Priests Speak Out‘ By Elizabeth Dias have called the church’s “homosexual side seminary walls might as well have meant. He paused, before mentioning The New York Times subculture,” “lavender mafia,” or “gay happened on the moon, and national one very special friend. “I fell in love February 17, 2019 cabal.” milestones in the fight for gay rights, like several times with men,” he said. “I Even Pope Francis has grown more the Stonewall riots, on Mars. knew from the beginning it wasn’t going MILWAUKEE — Gregory Greiten was critical in recent months. He has called One priest in a rural diocese said the to last.” 17 years old when the priests organized homosexuality “fashionable,” recom- rules reminded him of how his elemen- Though open, the closet means that the game. It was 1982 and he was on a mended that men with “this deep-seated tary school forced left-handed students to many priests have held the most painful retreat with his classmates from St. Law- tendency” not be accepted for ministry write with their right hand. “You can be stories among themselves for decades: rence, a Roman Catholic seminary for and admonished gay priests to be taught to act straight in order to survive,” The seminarian who died by suicide, and teenage boys training to become priests. “perfectly responsible, trying to never he said. the matches from a gay bar found after- Leaders asked each boy to rank which he create scandal.” “I can still remember seeing a semi- ward in his room. The priest friends who would rather be: burned over narian come out of another’s room at 5 died of AIDS. The feeling of coming 90 percent of his body, a.m. and thinking, isn’t it nice, home to an empty rectory every night. paraplegic or gay. they talked all night,” the same So they find ways to encourage one Each chose to be priest said. “I was so naïve.” another. They share books like Father scorched or para- “It really never was my shame. It was the Priests in America tend James Martin’s groundbreaking lyzed. Not one church’s shame. They’re the ones that to come out to themselves at “Building a Bridge,” on the relationship uttered the word a much later age than the between the Catholic and L.G.B.T. com- “gay.” They should have the shame for what they have national average for gay munities. Some have signed petitions called the game done to myself and many, many other men, 15. Many gay priests against church-sponsored conversion the Game of Life. spoke of being pulled be- therapy programs, or have met on private The lesson L.G.B.T. people.” tween denial and confusion, retreats, after figuring out how to conceal stuck. Seven years —Father Greg Greiten finally coming out to them- them on their church calendars. Occa- later, he climbed up selves in their 30s or 40s. sionally, a priest may even take off his into his seminary dorm Father Greiten was 24 when collar and offer to unofficially bless a window and dangled one he realized he was gay and consid- gay couple’s marriage. leg over the edge. “I really am gay,” Fa- ered jumping from his dorm window. He Some may call this rebellion. But “it ther Greiten, now a priest near Milwau- This week, Pope Francis will host a did not jump, but confided his despair in is not a cabal,” one priest said. “It is a kee, remembered telling himself for the much-anticipated summit on sex abuse a classmate. His friend came out himself. support group.” first time. “It was like a death sentence.” with bishops from around the world. The It was a revelation: There were other Just over a year ago, after meeting The closet of the Roman Catholic debate promises to be not only about people studying to be priests who were with a group of gay priests, Father Greit- Church hinges on an impossible contra- holding bishops accountable but also gay. It was just that no one talked about en decided it was time to end his silence. diction. For years, church leaders have about homosexuality itself. it. At Sunday Mass, during Advent, he told driven gay congregants away in shame Just a few years ago, this shift was He reached out to a former seminary his suburban parish he was gay, and celi- and insisted that “homosexual tenden- almost unimaginable. When Pope Fran- professor who he thought might also be a bate. They leapt to their feet in applause. cies” are “disordered.” And yet, thou- cis uttered his revolutionary question, gay man. His story went viral. A 90-year-old sands of the church’s priests are gay. “Who am I to judge?” in 2013, he tempt- “There will be a time in your life priest called him to say he had lived his The stories of gay priests are unspo- ed the closet door to swing open. A cau- when you will look back on this and entire life in the closet and longed for the ken, veiled from the outside world, tious few priests stepped through. you’re going to just love future to be different. A known only to one another, if they are But if the closet door cracked, the sex yourself for being gay,” woman wrote from Mis- known at all. abuse crisis now threatens to slam it shut. Father Greiten re- sissippi, asking him Fewer than about 10 priests in the Widespread scapegoating has driven membered this to move south to United States have dared to come out many priests deeper into the closet. man telling him. “I was in my 50s when I be her priest. publicly. But gay men probably make up “The vast majority of gay priests are “I thought, To some at least 30 to 40 percent of the American not safe,” said Father Bob Bussen, a ‘This man came out. I entered the church lead- Catholic clergy, according to dozens of priest in Park City, Utah, who was outed must be seminary at 18, a ers, that out- estimates from gay priests themselves about 12 years ago after he held Mass for totally in- pouring of and researchers. Some priests say the the L.G.B.T.Q. community. sane.’” young, enthusiastic, support number is closer to 75 percent. One “Life in the closet is worse than But he white, male virgin who may have priest in Wisconsin said he assumed eve- scapegoating,” he said. “It is not a closet. had dis- been even ry priest was gay unless he knows for a It is a cage.” covered doesn’t know anything, more fact he is not. A priest in Florida put it “You can be taught to act straight in the strange let alone straight or threatening this way: “A third are gay, a third are order to survive.” irony of than his straight and a third don’t know what the Even before a priest may know he is the Catho- gay. There were years sexuality. hell they are.” gay, he knows the closet. The code is lic closet that I carried this secret. Father Two dozen gay priests and seminari- taught early, often in seminary. Num- — it isn’t Greiten had ans from 13 states shared intimate details quam duo, semper tres, the warning secret at My prayer was not that, committed of their lives in the Catholic closet with goes. Never two, always three. Move in all. would God change me. the cardinal The New York Times over the past two trios, never as a couple. No going on “It’s sin: He months. They were interviewed in their walks alone together, no going to the kind of like It was that I would die opened the churches before Mass, from art museums movies in a pair. The higher-ups warned an open door to de- on the weekend, in their apartments dec- for years: Any male friendship is too closet,” Fa- before anyone found bate. His orated with rainbow neon lights and be- dangerous, could slide into something ther Greiten out.” archbishop, tween classes at seminary. Some agreed sexual or could turn into what they called said. “It’s the Jerome E. Lis- to be photographed if their identities a “particular friendship.” making of it pub- —Father Bob Bussen tecki of Milwau- were concealed. “You couldn’t have a particular lic, and speaking kee, issued a state- Almost all of them required strict friendship with a man, because you about it, where it be- ment saying that he confidentiality to speak without fear of might end up being homosexual,” ex- comes an issue.” wished Father Greiten had retribution from their bishops or superi- plained a priest, who once nicknamed his One priest, whose parish has not gone public. Letters poured in ors. A few had been expressly forbidden friends “the P.F.s.” “And you couldn’t no idea he is gay, remembered a back- calling him “satanic,” “gay filth” and a to come out or even to speak about ho- have a friendship with a woman, because yard cocktail party a few years ago “monster” who sodomized children. mosexuality. Most are in active ministry, you might end up falling in love, and where fellow priests were saying “vile” The idea that gay priests are respon- and could lose more than their jobs if they were both against celibacy. With things about a gay bishop. He intervened, sible for child sexual abuse remains a they are outed. The church almost always whom do you have a relationship that and came out to them. He lost three persistent belief, especially in many con- controls a priest’s housing, health insur- would be a healthy human relationship?” friends that night. “I broke the code by servative Catholic circles. For years, ance and retirement pension. He could Today, training for the priesthood in announcing to them that I was gay,” he church leaders have been deeply con- lose all three if his bishop finds his sexu- the United States usually starts in or after said. “It was a conspiracy of silence.” fused about the relationship between gay ality disqualifying, even if he is faithful college. But until about 1980, the church That is a reason many of the men are men and sexual abuse. With every new to his vows of celibacy. often recruited boys to start in ninth out to only a few close friends. The abuse revelation, the tangled threads of The environment for gay priests has grade — teenagers still in the throes of grapevine has taught them which priests the church’s sexual culture become even grown only more dangerous. The fall of puberty. For many of today’s priests and in their diocese are gay, whom to trust more impossible to sort out. Theodore E. McCarrick, the once- bishops over 50, this environment lim- and whom to fear. Study after study shows that homo- powerful cardinal who was defrocked ited healthy sexual development. Priests All priests must wrestle with their sexuality is not a predictor of child mo- last week for sexual abuse of boys and cannot marry, so sexuality from the start vows of celibacy, and the few priests lestation. This is also true for priests, young men, has inflamed accusations was about abstinence, and obedience. who are publicly out make clear they are according to a famous study by John Jay that homosexuality is to blame The sexual revolution happening out- chaste. College of Criminal Justice in the wake for the church’s resur- Still, many priests said they had had of revelations in 2002 about child sex gent abuse crisis. sex with other men to explore their abuse in the church. The John Jay re- Studies repeat- sexual identity. Some have search, which church leaders commis- edly find there “Why stay? It is an amazing life. I am watched pornography to see sioned, found that same-sex experience to be no con- what it is like for two men to did not make priests more likely to abuse nection be- fascinated with the depth and sincerity of have sex. They ultimately minors, and that four out of five people tween being parishioners, the immense generosity. The found more anguish than who said they were victims were male. gay and abus- pleasure. Researchers found no single cause for ing children. negativity out there doesn’t match what is One priest had sex for this abuse, but identified that abusive And yet in my daily life, when I see the goodness of the first time at 62, no priests’ extensive access to boys had prominent strings attached, with a man been critical to their choice of victims. bishops have people. I tune into that, because it sustains he met online. The relation- The notion that a certain sexual iden- singled out me.” ship was discovered and tity leads to abusive behavior has demor- gay priests as reported to his bishop, and he alized gay priests for decades. Days after the root of the —Father Michael Shanahan has not had sex since. Another one man retired, he still could not shake problem, and right priest, when asked if he had ever what his archbishop in the 1970s told all -wing media organi- considered himself as having a (Continued on page 8) zations attack what they partner, wondered what that even Spring 2019 BONDINGS Page 7 In Scotland, Catholic Education Service Works to Make Schools LGBTI Inclusive

By Robert Shine "SCES and the University of Glas- Bondings 2.0 gow, (through the St Andrew’s Founda- Www.NewWaysMinistry.org/blog tion), are all sure that the members of the March 12, 2019 working group are sincere in the aspira- tion to implement the recommendations A key church official in Scotland in a way that will allow all schools, has affirmed Catholics' participation in teachers and parents to participate and developing standards for the country's engage in full conscience according to new LGBT curriculum, reportedly the their religious belief." first such standards to be implemented in Scottish church officials' choice to the world and which set a model for prioritize students' flourishing with a Catholic education around the globe. focus on the Church's social justice Barbara Coupar, director of the teachings is precisely the approach every Scottish Catholic Education Service educator in Catholic education should (SCES), wrote in the Scottish Catholic take. If the curriculum is implemented Observer about church officials' partici- with this same focus on Catholic Social pation in the development and now im- Teaching, students will get a lesson not plementation of a new LGBT-focused only on LGBT issues and anti-bullying, curriculum. Coupar said being a member but a moral framework with which to of the working group behind the new schools in Scotland, secular and reli- issues: approach such issues throughout their standards was "extremely important" gious. A key focus for Catholic educa- "Within the working group it was lifetime. Such lessons greatly benefit not given Catholic schools would inevitably tors will be discrimination and hate acknowledged that some members would only LGBT students; they help all stu- be affected. She said Catholic schools crimes. New resources have been de- not necessarily agree with each other on dents grow in their appreciation for and wanted to help ensure all students feel signed to complement existing curricula all matters, but that consensus was possi- understanding of sexuality, gender, non- safe and included, explaining: on religion and morality, and will focus ble. discrimination, and respect for human "The group considered the five on tackling "the root cause of bullying, "It is a testimony to the respectful dignity. Barbara Coupar and her col- pledges of the TIE [Time for Inclusive hate crime and intolerance in a holistic atmosphere and the determination of leagues should be commended for their Education] campaign. There are aspects way." Coupar added: each member of the group to arrive at a work, which now exists as one more of the campaign that resonate with all "By exploring Church teaching, the mutually acceptable consensus that the positive model for LGBT issues in Cath- Catholic schools, including the desire to dignity of the human person and Catholic recommendations were reached. olic education worldwide.  have well trained staff within schools Social Teaching, pupils are equipped to who feel confident and equipped to meet challenge behaviour and language that the needs of pupils and to address inef- does not respect each individual, to artic- fective use of recording of LGBTI bully- ulate why the Church teaches that injus- ing. tice is wrong, and to critically evaluate Get "In addition, all Catholic schools see the messages that society gives through a need for quality lessons to tackle preju- the media and social platforms about the Catholic LGBTQ dice and to find ways to assist schools to dignity of the human person. News, Opinion, and Spirituality improve their equalities policies, so as to "We hope that, through our ap- better reflect under represented protected proach, our Catholic education commu- Online nity can contribute to the goal of eradi- characteristics, as outlined in the 2010 Equality Act. . . cating all hate crimes, injustice and prej- "So what are we going to do and udiced based intolerance in Scotland." Coupar defended the Church's par- Bondings 2.0 how are we going to do it? Catholic ticipation against those who claim doing schools are unequivocal in their care for all the children and young people in the so weakens Catholic identity or opposes school community, and support each one Church teaching. Participating in the Visit individually, even if their choices differ working group helped ensure both that NewWays Ministry.org/blog from the Catholic vision of human sexu- religiously-affiliated schools would still ality." be able to teach their values while ensur- The standards will apply to all ing every student learns about LGBT LGBT-friendly Catholic Colleges and Universities

Below is a list of known LGBT-friendly Catholic colleges and universities, that is, those Catholic institutions that have some type of gay/LGBT student group, support group, ally group, etc. If you are aware of such a college that is known as welcoming to LGBT people, please let us know. Alabama Iowa Mobile: Spring Hill College Davenport: St. Ambrose University Montana Pennsylvania Dubuque: Loras College, Clarke University Helena: Carroll College Cresson: Mount Aloysius College California Dallas: Misericordia University Belmont: Notre Dame de Namur University Kentucky Nebraska Erie: Mercyhurst College Goleta: St. Mark’s University Louisville: Spalding University, Omaha: Creighton University Greensburg: Seton Hill University Los Angeles: Loyola Marymount University, Bellarmine University Immaculata: Immaculata University Mount Saint Mary’s College New Hampshire Philadelphia: Chestnut Hill College, Moraga: St. Mary’s College Louisiana Manchester: St. Anselm College LaSalle University, St. Joseph’s Univ. Oakland: Holy Names University New Orleans: Loyola University Nashua: Rivier College Pittsburgh: Carlow University, Ranchos Palos Verde: Marymount College Duquesne University San Diego: University of San Diego Maryland New Jersey Radnor: Cabrini College San Francisco: University of San Baltimore: Notre Dame of Caldwell: Caldwell College Reading: Alvernia University Francisco Maryland University, Jersey City: St. Peter’s College Scranton: Marywood University Santa Clara: Santa Clara University Loyola University of Maryland Newark: Seton Hall School of Law Villanova: Villanova University

Colorado Massachusetts New York Rhode Island Denver: Regis University Boston: Emmanuel College, Albany: College of Saint Rose Newport: University Chestnut Hill: Boston College Brooklyn and Patchogue: Providence: Providence College Connecticut Chicopee: Elms College St. Joseph’s College Fairfield: Fairfield University, Easton: Stonehill College Bronx: Fordham University, Texas Sacred Heart University North Andover: Merrimack College Manhattan College Austin: Saint Edward’s University New Haven: Albertus Magnus College Weston: Regis College Buffalo: Canisius College San Antonio: University of the Incarnate West Hartford: Saint Joseph College Worcester: Assumption College, Loudonville: Siena College Word, Our Lady of the Lake Univ. College of the Holy Cross New Rochelle: College of New Rochelle, District of Columbia Iona College Vermont Georgetown University, Trinity University Michigan Poughkeepsie: Marist College Colchester: Saint Michael’s College Detroit: University of Detroit Mercy, Rochester: St. John Fisher College Florida St. Bonaventure: St. Bonaventure Univ. Washington Miami Gardens: St. Thomas University Grand Rapids: Aquinas College Sparkill: St. Thomas Aquinas College Lacey: St. Martin’s College Miami Shores: Barry University Syracuse: LeMoyne College Seattle: Seattle University Minnesota Queens: St. John’s University Spokane: Gonzaga University Hawaii Collegeville: St. John’s University Honolulu: Chaminade University Duluth: College of St. Scholastica Ohio West Virginia Minneapolis: College of St. Catherine Cincinnati: Xavier University Wheeling: Wheeling Jesuit University Illinois St. Joseph: College of Saint Benedict Cleveland Heights: John Carroll University Chicago: DePaul University, Loyola Univer- St. Paul: St. Thomas University Dayton: University of Dayton Wisconsin sity, St. Xavier University Winona: St. Mary’s University of Pepper Pike: Ursuline College De Pere: St. Norbert College Joliet: University of St. Francis Minnesota South Euclid: Notre Dame College Madison: Edgewood College River Forest: Dominican University in Illinois Sylvania: Lourdes College Milwaukee: Alverno College, Romeoville: Lewis University Missouri Cardinal Stritch University, Kansas City: Avila University, Oregon Marquette University Indiana Rockhurst University Marylhurst: Marylhurst University Notre Dame: Holy Cross College, St. Mary’s St. Louis: Fontbonne University, Maryville Portland: University of Portland Canada College, Univ. of Notre Dame University, St. Louis University Toronto: Regis College Page 8 BONDINGS Vol. 38, No. 2 Why I Stay: Pushing Back Against Those Who Would Treat Us Like Dogs

By Jacqui O. a dog. He’s here for the children, the lost worthy…,” but I must be particularly Bondings 2.0 sheep of Israel. unworthy. Www.NewWaysMinistry.org/blog I went to Maronite Mass in Tyre Why does the mercy of God fall so January 20, 2019 because it felt less threatening than Mass heavily on some while the rest of us at home. I called it a cultural experience, crawl in the dust begging for that mer- New Ways Ministry invited readers an opportunity for language immersion. cy—begging to be treated like dogs if not to share the stories of their relationship But when the priest read the Gospel— human beings? How do you find faith in with the Catholic Church by writing on ”Please, Lord, for even the dogs eat the a God whose disciples would send you the theme of “Why We Came, Why We scraps that fall from the table of their away? Left, Why We Stayed.” We asked how masters”—it felt like the wind had been The woman doesn’t get answers, but they would like to be identified in terms knocked out of me. she does receive mercy. She asks for of name and gender/sexual identity, loca- I’ve read a lot of interpretations of crumbs and God gives her abundance. tion. Anonymity was offered as an op- the Canaanite woman’s story. Maybe I asked God for crumbs in that dusty tion. Jesus was testing her? Maybe he was Maronite church that smelled like a acting something out for the disciples’ psalm, and he gave me bread. I haven’t I was in Tyre, Lebanon, when I benefit? This does not satisfy me. These stopped taking the Eucharist since, and I learned that Jesus visited Tyre once. answers do not justify the unspeakable go to Mass in English now. I was familiar with the story, but I cruelty of the exchange. Maybe the Church is like Jesus in hadn’t paid attention to the location. A I do not know the answer to the this moment, and there’s some deep, woman—maybe Canaanite, maybe Syro- question—but I do know that the story is mysterious reason why it tries to send me Phoenician—comes to Jesus and asks a question. It is my question. The ques- away. But I know my part. Like the him to heal her daughter. (Matthew 15: tion I have carried since I was told that woman in Tyre, I’m here to push back. 21-28) the Bread of Life could not enter this I’m here to stay.  And he sends her away. He calls her queer body of mine. “Lord, I am not ‘We are all children of God,’ nun writes allowing same-sex union news in alumnae mag

(Continued from page 1) partner nine years ago when same-sex Georgetown Visitation has consulted the member. were not allowed. Now, that has marriages became legal, said she was archdiocese on matters related to uphold- Francis DeBernardo, executive di- changed. profoundly moved by Visitation’s deci- ing Catholic identity, and therefore, it is rector of New Ways Ministry, an advoca- Berchmans alluded to that change sion. especially disappointing that this consul- cy group for LGBTQ Catholics, said he with a quote from St. Francis de Sales, “To see the school stand with gay tation and collaboration was not fol- was not aware of any other Catholic high which she chose to begin her letter: and lesbian students and parents and lowed.” school alumni magazines that include “The Church is a garden patterned families, I just felt really emotional and It continued, “Catholic Church announcements of same-sex unions. He with unlimited flowers; it is necessary grateful,” Peters said. “I do suspect there teaching on marriage is clear, and it also described the letter from Berchmans as that they should be of various sizes, vari- will be people who will be upset and does not conflict with the Gospel mes- “beautiful and very powerful.” ous colors, various odors, and, to sum it outraged about it, but Visitation has kind sage of love.” “This is a really big step forward,” up, different perfections . . . all of them of made its point, and I don’t think A parent of a current student, who DeBernardo said. “This is something that provide a beauty most pleasing and per- they’re going to back off of it now.” spoke on the condition of anonymity all Catholic schools are eventually going fect.” Peters said she had a rich and posi- because she worried she would be target- to have to deal with, sooner rather than Her letter went on to address the tive experience at Visitation and is close ed for her comments, said she was disap- later. Marriage equality is a reality. Too Catholic Church’s teaching on same-sex to many of her former classmates. pointed with the school’s decision and often, Catholic leaders try to bury their marriage and its emphasis on the Gos- But she also said the church’s teach- that she and other parents are concerned heads and pretend this is not a reality, but pel’s command to love one another. ing on same-sex marriage was one of the about their children’s Catholic formation it is.” “As a professed Sister of the Visita- reasons she did not send her daughters to at the school. She said that opposition to Jenny Baker Moore, a 1990 Visita- tion for 67 years, I have devoted my life . the new policy is “widespread” and that tion graduate who lives in McLean, Va., in service to the Catholic Church,” she Berchmans declined an interview many parents are still deciding how they and whose family has deep ties to the wrote. “The Church is clear in its teach- request. So far, there have been few com- will react. school, said the change was overdue. ing on same-sex marriages. But, it is plaints about the policy shift from stu- “We chose to send our children to a “Things happen at a snail’s pace in equally clear in its teaching that we are dents, parents and the school’s alumnae, Catholic school, through great sacrifice, the Catholic Church, so this is a big all children of God, that we each have according to school officials. as the tuition is pretty high, because we deal,” she said. “I love the school, and dignity and are worthy of respect and “The response to Sister’s letter has want Catholic doctrine and Catholic val- I’m glad they’ve finally done this.” love. been huge. It has been overwhelmingly ues instilled in our children before they Although there has been widespread “As I have prayed over this contra- and heartwarmingly positive,” said Caro- head out into the world,” she said. “The support for the school’s position, some diction, I keep returning to this choice: line Coleman Handorf, the school’s di- Church’s teachings on matters of sexuali- Visitation graduates in the Facebook we can focus on Church teaching on gay rector of communications. ty are healthy and give our girls great discussion said the letter from Berch- marriage or we can focus on Church The Archdiocese of Washington said grounding. We feel the Catholic faith is mans should be used as a springboard for teaching on the Gospel commandment of in a statement it was not made aware of really crucial to these girls’ successes, the school to address additional issues of love. We know from history — including the school’s decision before the letter and . . . a lot of us are feeling very cheat- diversity, inclusion and equity. very recent history — that the Church, in from Berchmans was sent. Although ed right now.” “This stirred up a lot of pain for its humanity, makes mistakes. Yet, Visitation is independent, the archdio- Founded in 1799, Visitation is one some people,” said Elizabeth Early, a through the grace of God and the power cese said in its statement: of the oldest Catholic girls schools in the 1992 graduate who lives in Washington of the Holy Spirit, it learns and grows. “The archdiocese has a clear respon- United States. Annual tuition for the 500 and participated in the Facebook chat And so, we choose the Gospel command- sibility to ensure independent Catholic students at the 23-acre campus in group. “It kind of created a big storm ment of love.” schools maintain their authentic Catholic Georgetown is $30,100. A monastery on beyond just the awareness and acknowl- Christina Peters, a 1980 Visitation identity and provide advice and guidance the grounds is home to 14 Visitation sis- edgment of gay marriage. We need to graduate who is gay and married her on such matters as they arise. In the past, ters, although none of them is a faculty look at what more the school can do.” 

In Groundbreaking Article, Gay Catholic Priests Speak Out (Continued from page 6) years ago. “Become more distant from broke out again last summer, the former condemnation of lesbian, gay, transsexu- the new priests headed to their first par- parishioners? Am I going to hide? Be- Vatican ambassador to the United States, al people within the church,” John Coe, ish assignments. “He said, ‘I don’t ever come hardened, and old?” Archbishop Carlo Maria Viganò, accused 63, a permanent deacon in Kentucky, want you to call me to report about your Blaming gay men for sexual abuse is “homosexual networks” of American who came out last year, said about the pastor, unless he is a homo or an al- almost sure to be a major topic this week cardinals of secretly working to protect summit. chie,’” he said, referring to an alcoholic. at the Vatican, at a much-anticipated four abusers. And this week, a sensational Sitting in his parish’s small counsel- “He didn’t even know what he meant -day summit on sexual abuse. Pope Fran- book titled “Sodoma” in Europe (“In the ing room, Father Greiten reflected on it when he said homo, because we were all cis has called the world’s Closet of the Vatican” in the all. He wished he could talk to Pope homos. He meant a predator, like serial most powerful bishops United States) is being Francis himself. “Listen to my story of predator.” to Rome to educate released that claims to how the church traumatized me for being This perception persists today at them on the prob- expose a vast gay a gay man,” he asked, into the air. prominent Catholic seminaries. At the lems of abuse, subculture at the “It’s not just about the sexual abuse largest in the United States, Mundelein after high- “This is not the whole Vatican. crisis,” he said, his voice growing urgent. Seminary in Illinois, few ever talk about profile abuse A group of “They are sexually traumatizing and sexual identity, said one gay student, cases in the story of who I am. But gay priests in wounding yet another generation. We who is afraid to ever come out. Since last United if you don’t want to the Nether- have to stand up and say no more sexual summer, when Mr. McCarrick was ex- States, Aus- lands recently abuse, no more sexual traumatizing, no posed for abusing young men, students tralia, Chile know this about me, took the unu- more sexual wounding. We have to get it have been drilled in rules about celibacy and else- do you really want to sually bold right when it comes to sexuality.” and the evils of masturbation and por- where. step of writing For now, Father Greiten was getting nography. The know me? It’s a to Pope Fran- ready for his 15th trip to Honduras with “Classmates will say, ‘Don’t admit event has question I’d invite the cis, urging doctors and medical supplies. A shadow gays,’” said the student. “Their attitude is worried gay him to allow box hung on the wall behind him. It dis- that it is gay priests who inflict abuse on priests. A people of God to gay, celibate played a scrap of purple knitting, needle younger guys.” few years ponder.” men to be or- still stuck in the top. He calls it “The Priests across the country are wonder- after the 2002 dained. Unfinished Gift.” ing if their sacrifice is worth the personal scandal, the —Father Steve Wolf “Instead of “What if every priest was truly al- cost. “Am I going to leave the priesthood Vatican banned seeing increased lowed to live their life freely, openly, because I’m sick of that accusation?” gay men from semi- accountability on the honestly?” he asked. “That’s my dream.” asked Father Michael Shanahan, a Chica- naries and ordination. parts of the bishops, it  go priest who came out publicly three When the abuse crisis could become once again a