8 September 2014 1 2 8 September 2014 Advt. TTAdvt. ariffariffariff Over all size 21.5 cms x 27cms O Print area 18 cms x 25.5 cms A WEEKLY FAMILY FAVOURITE Full pg. back Colour (19 cms x 24 cms) Rs. 15,000 Center spread colour(39 cms x 23.5 cms Rs. 15,000 Vol.23 No.36 September 8, 2014 Rs.5/- Full pg. inside Cover colour(18 cms x 24 cms) Rs. 10,000 99, Perin Nariman Street, Fort, Mumbai - 400 001. Full pg. inner colour (18 cms x 24 cms) Rs. 8,000 Tel: 2269 35 78 / 2265 49 24 : 2264 0996 Half pg. Colour (18 cms x 12 cms) Rs. 5,000 E-mail : [email protected], [email protected] Full page B/W (18 cms x 24 cms) Rs. 5,000 Website: www.sezariworld.com Half page B/W (18 cms x 12 cms) Rs, 3,000 www.secularcitizen.com Editor-in-chief : LAWRENCE COELHO Editor: PHILIP MYABOO Small Size Ads B/W O 1234567890123456 12 x 12cms Rs. 2000 6 x 24cms Rs. 2000 1234567890123456 1234567890123456

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1234567890123456 1234567890123456 18 x 6cms Rs. 1500 6 x 12cms Rs. 1000 ‘Thought for the week’ 6 x 6cms Rs. 500 The only person you should try to be better than, is the Matrimonial Classifieds: person you were yesterday. O Rs. 350 per insertion (for 35 words) (includes box no.) O Rs. 1500 for 12 insertions. (1 year The Secular Citizen FREE) Contents pg. 3 - Is Christ Divided? Is Christ Divided? pg. 5 - New Think Tank to replace he Kerala Catholics living in Delhi see a threat to their unity. The bone of Planning Commission contention is a Joint Pastoral Letter issued by two Archbishops over their pg. 6 - Reader's Views Tmembership in the newly-created Faridabad eparchy. Jose Kalathil, a veteran journalist in Delhi, explains why. pg. 7 - Happy Birthday, Dearest A group of Catholics belonging to the Syro-Malabar (SM) Rite of Kerala, Mother who have made Delhi their home, are agitated over the 1 November, 2013 Joint pg. 8 - Why The TV Media Needs Pastoral Letter (JPL) issued by the Delhi Archbishop Anil J Couto and Arch- Change? bishop Kuriakose Bharanikulangara of the newly-created Syro-Malabar Catho- pg 9 - Why Are So Many Priests lic Eparchy of Faridabad. Alcoholics? It declared that “from the day the Eparchy of Faridabad was created in pg 10 - National Consultation On 2012 all the SM faithful once pastorally cared for by the Archdiocese of Delhi The Catholic Family have automatically become part of the Eparchy, which has been exclusively pg 12 - Views on News created for them. Basically, there is no choice in this matter. Consequently, the pg 19 - Bandra Fair faithful of the Syro-Malabar Church cease to be members of the parishes of the pg 20 - All That's Holy and Jolly! Archdiocese of Delhi.” pg 21 - How to resolve fights ... The faithful say this decision was taken arbitrarily without consulting them. “Does it mean that I have to leave the parish that I belonged to and the choir pg 22 - What Is The Big Deal? that we built up?” asked George Pulinkala, 70, composer-director of musicals. pg 23 - Inspiration! “How can you expect my wife, Jannette, who is an Anglo-Indian, to go to one pg 24 - Matrimonials parish and me to another?” pg 26 - Children And the Catholic Janette also cautioned about the differences existing in Bangalore Arch- Divorce Syndrome diocese over language. Interrupted Rajan George, executive vice-president of a company, “Look, both me and Rose Mary were born outside Kerala, in Chennai and Kolkata, Subscriptions Rate: respectively, and after marriage, we moved here. We are part of the commu- nity.” One year (anywhere in India) Rs. 250 “Then what about the Sacraments that our children received in the Three years (anywhere in India) Rs. 700 churches here. Will they become invalid?” asked an angry Mariamma Sebastian, Five years (anywhere in India) Rs. 1000 a government official. One year (outside India) Rs. 2500 According to Francis Kuruvilla, an exporter, his two children, who grew up in the Capital, want to be in the present parish. He asked: “If so, will all the SM E-paper Edition Rite priests, who are serving in the Archdiocese join the Faridabad Eparchy?” sent anywhere in the world (by email) Immediately after the JPL was read out in the churches, within three days One year Rs. 600 or US $ 15 6,000 SM faithful of the first, second and third generation migrants, in a signed Two years Rs. 1000 or US $ 25 letter petitioned to Archbishop Anil that they have been thrown out of the church that nurtured them during all these years and overlooked the immense contri- Cover : Basilica of Our Lady of the Mount, Bandra. (Contd.. on p. 4) 8 September 2014 3 Politicians Discuss Mass Wine Mar Thoma Bishop wants re-think about wine in Mass

Thiruvananthapuram: Bishop Mar Chrysostom of Mar Thoma Syrian Church on Monday asked the Churches to rethink about using wine during Mass. A Catholic Church official dismissed the suggestion as unacceptable. The use of wine at churches for Mass has come to the liquor contro- versy after prominent backward Hindu leader Vellappally Nateshan ques- tioned the logic of allowing Mass wine he use of wine in Mass has be secretary Vellappally Natesan for ban- when Indian made foreign liquor is come part of a political discus ning wine in churches also, if curbs are banned in a phased manner. Tsion in Kerala after some groups imposed on the sale of liquor in the In Kerala, Mass wine is brewed wanted a ban on wine in the backdrop state. by various dioceses and Christian con- of the state’s move to implement total His reaction comes amid continu- gregations with the license from the alcohol prohibition. ing political row over the new liquor Excise Department. V M Sudheeran, the head of the policy and community organizations Chrysostom said it was not nec- Congress party in the state, said the also joining issue with it. essary for wine to be used for Mass. demand to ban wine in churches is not Also the remarks are significant “Churches should rethink about using correct, reminding that it is part of a as he has drawn flak over allegations grape water, as had been the practice ritual and a tradition, which is in vogue that he had hobnobbed with Church in the past, instead of wine. At the for centuries. leaders to facilitate an atmosphere to same, I would not agree with those who “It is for the Christian church to promote his stand against renewal of had raised the issue on both sides,” think over whether liquor should be licenses of closed liquor vends in the said the bishop according to a report in banned. The interference of external state. the New Indian Express. forces is not proper,” Sudheeran told Admitting what the Excise Minis- Reacting to the non-Catholic media persons here on Monday. ter K Babu had stated on the possibility prelate’s suggestion, Catholic Church He was responding to a demand of a hooch tragedy was true, Sudheeran spokesman Fr Paul Thelakkattu said put forward by SNDP Yogam general said that he had informed the CM and Chrysostom’s opinion was not accept- Ministers of Home, Excise and Rev- able. Using wine at Mass is a global enue as and when he got information practice. Not even an ounce is used for on it. a mass, he said. Is Christ Divided? “It was after that the government Meanwhile, raising the bar on the and various departments maintained (Contd.. from p. 3) licence given to various dioceses to vigil,” Sudheeran claimed. make wine, Nateshan said the Church “I congratulate the government in Kerala is running 24 distilleries. bution, both material and otherwise, for taking steps to prevent a hooch “Jesus turned water into wine. they had made in building this dio- tragedy,” he added. Today, nobody has the power to cese into what it is today. “I don’t know as to why Minister convert water into wine. Then, why Respecting their sentiments, Babu had criticized me,” Sudheeran don’t the churches use water consider- Archbishop Anil immediately kept said, making an apparent climb down ing it was wine,” asked Nateshan, who the JPL in abeyance for two months from his reported stand that the Excise said his community would be hit by and again till further notice. Minister had vitiated the bar license revoking liquor license of hotels. renewal issue through his “provoca- (This item appeared in The States- tive” statements. Source: Indian Express man on August 27, 2014) —new indian express

4 8 September 2014 New Think Tank to replace Planning Commission ...“We need a new body with a new soul…. We will have to think about giving a new shape to the Planning Commis- sion…. Very soon this new institute will start working in place of Planning Commis- sion,”... name distinct from China’s Develop- towards scrapping the Planning Com- ment and Reforms Commission is be- mission, Prime Minister Narendra Modi ing sought but hasn’t been decided as on Tuesday invited ideas from the small, handpicked, five-mem yet. people on the new institution to replace ber thinktank, which will draw On the size of the panel, the offi- the plan body. The government also Aits power and prestige from cial said there has been a view that a announced creation of a special open Prime Minister Narendra Modi’s clear larger think tank may be able to accom- forum on the website mygov.nic.in for backing, is likely to replace the Plan- modate representational political issues suggestions on the new institution. ning Commission. The new panel will such caste and states. However, a “We envision the proposed insti- most likely be led in an executive ca- smaller, nimbler panel is the more likely tution as one that caters to the aspira- pacity by former union minister Suresh option, he added, because it will be tions of 21st century India and strength- Prabhu, with free market economists distinct from the now-abolished eight- ens participation of the States…. Let Arvind Panagariya and Bibek Debroy member Planning Commission. How- the ideas flow,” the Prime Minister said as two more likely members. ever, the think tank will have the man- in a statement. It said, “The Prime Min- It will be formally chaired by the date to co-opt experts from other do- ister has invited ideas from people on Prime Minister and the announcement mains, another official said. He also what shape the new institution to re- can come as early as Monday or a day said while terms of reference of the new place the Planning Commission can or two after that, officials familiar with body haven’t been fixed yet, broad take.” Addressing the nation from the discussions said. An academic with guidelines have been decided. One Red Fort on Independence Day, wide science and technology exper- immediate focus is likely to be the size Modi had said that the 64-year old tise, perhaps from IITs, and a social of government budget, given the Kelkar Planning Commission, a vestige of science expert familiar with wider Sangh committee’s recommendation that the socialist era, would be soon replaced Parivar thinking are likely to be two fiscal deficit-to-GDP ratio be brought with a new institution to address the other members of the as-yet-unnamed down to 3% by 2017. current economic challenges and advisory body. Economists Debroy and The finance minister’s deficit tar- strengthen the federal structure. “We Panagariya have both been involved in get for this fiscal year is 4.1%. Advice need a new body with a new soul…. We advisory capacities with Narendra on government spending by keeping will have to think about giving a new Modi’s core team before the Modiled the Kelkar target in mind and devising shape to the Planning Commission…. BJP won the general election in a land- economic and social sector strategies Very soon this new institute will start slide in May this year. Officials who within that constraint is likely to be the working in place of Planning Commis- spoke for this report, on the condition think tank’s first priority, said the official sion,” Modi had said. He had said that they not be identified, said the names quoted earlier. Another official said the it was set up to cater to the needs of of science and social science experts PM has a very clear role for the new earlier times and has participated in its are in the process of being finalised. body as “he has always been a Plan- own way in the development of the One senior official said while most ning Commission sceptic”. “Back in country. thinking on the new panel’s formation early 2013, as the chief minister of “The internal situation of the coun- is over, two questions being addressed Gujarat, Modi had made a presenta- try has changed, global environment now are: first, the name of the think tank tion to the Planning Commission point- has changed. Government is no longer and, second, whether to accommo- ing out its shortcomings and the role it the centre of economic development. date at least partially a counterview on should play,” this official said. Economy is much more broadbased the size of the panel. This official said a Meanwhile, taking a step further now.

8 September 2014 5 Choose Correct Adolf Tragler - ‘C’s for Country! A Star amongst

The us, is now in Secular ‘Citi- zen’, Aug 25, the Sky 2014, Vol 23, No 24 “How uesday, 26th August, 2014 will can India forever be etched in the minds of progress?” Tscores of people, who had met has conferred and worked with Adolf Tragler, a Euro- on us crucial pean by birth but an Indian at heart. and critical as- Tragler who began Slum Reha- pects through bilitation Society (SRS) to give the un- der-privileged of Mumbai, particularly 3 angles or (compassion), so continue with of Bandra Suburb, a home of their own, ‘corners’ viz. 1) Editor’s 19 ‘Character- this idea. And so with the next passed away. He kept on working istics’, convictions by Bill Gates, and image of ‘craftsmanship’ to every day inspite of his age and health, opinions by four experts, pages 8 & 9. further compose, colour and as his presence kept SRS on the go. And which is also embellished with a clarify! His team looked at him for guidance captivating and a charming ‘Colour May we ‘cap and crown’ both and were always upbeat with his opti- Cover’. These are indeed blue prints the 19 ‘C’s through contemplation mism. and projects which when exhibited on and compassion with the 6 Christian Tragler’s work of four decades is a ‘civil’ scale and when convincingly ‘C’s— Christ, Cross, Church, Confes- built with stone and motor, rehabilitat- carried out, can certainly ‘catapult’ In- sion, Communion & Catholicism! ing 1000+ families into SRS initiated dia into a contemporary, consolidating “Christ is all, Christ in all” (Colossians Buildings and 7000+ families by the and commanding economy! 3:11). Public Authorities. Every rehabilitation May I also ‘contribute’ and chip in —Dr Trevor Colaso my own ‘Concepts’ through 19 cred- was never complete without putting a ible and creative ‘C’s (secular); the heart into the society by way of a Creche (Balwadi), an Early Learning Centre or following ‘C’s of which could confi- PS. Out of these 250 words hundred dently change, convert and cement a Women’s Self Help Group (Mahila start with’C’ or 40% of this Letter or Mandal). Slum Dwellers became stake our common man, community and Communication! county into a choice and commend- holders in this City of Dreams, Mumbai able Celebration and Commonwealth! through the transformation brought about by the hard work of Tragler and In complement to the editor’s 19 ‘C’s, Subscriptions for here is my ‘catalogue’ of ‘19’ cognizant his team. The Medical team led by his and conscious ‘Claps’! The Secular Citizen wife, Dr. (Mrs.) Ancilla Tragler, practic- ing in Holy Family Hospital, brought Renewal as well as New, can be sent 1) Cultivation 2) Craftsmanship timely attention and care to scores of through Bank Fund Transfer to any one children in the slums of Bandra in par- 3) Charity 4) Character 5) of the following banks: Consensus 6) Compromise ticular. Tragler ventured into the remote- 7) Conservation 8) Construc- Bank: HDFC Bank tion 9) Collaboration 10) Co- ness of Talasari, a region bordering Branch : CST - Mumbai VT Gujarat and sought to bring a transfor- operation 11) Compensation Account Name: The Secular Citizen 12) Communication 13) mation of the Warli Tribal People Account No. 03552000006744 through his Reach Out Trust. He vis- Cleanliness 14) Comrade- ISFC code: HDFC0000355 ship 15) Companionship 16) ited Talasari every month travelling by or road, a good 3 hours journey from Chastity 17) Culture 18) Bank: Citizen Credit Co-op Bank Ltd., Capitalism 19) Conference. Mumbai to be personally involved in Branch : Colaba, Mumbai transforming the Warli People into Account Name: The Secular Citizen ‘Cultivation’ could not only stakeholders of a Modern India, who Account No. 000000000100489 would otherwise have been consigned constitute farming of the land, ISFC code: CCBL0209003 but also to ‘cultivate’ competent, to being mere spectators of the Bullet congenial, customs (habits), Train that is to speed through their Please inform us through email: land, leaving only dust in its wake. cherish justice and peace [email protected] or through phone: (concord), court love and mercy 22693578 after transferring the same. — Austin Nazareth 6 8 September 2014 Happy Birthday, Dearest Mother scene.As the years  Bernie Tellis eptember 8 is Mary‘s birthday. rolled by ,this tribe of We celebrate it in great style hardly ever ‘fair ‘ at this time of the traders flourished and Shere in Bandra, Bombay and year.It‘s either too hot or too wet to go the streets where they our expats continue the tradition in the out and too foolishly adventurous to displayed their wares, countries of their adoption. spend a good part of the day making fanning out from the The Basilica of the Mount, more one‘s way up to the Mount for a fleeting Mount, grew in proportion and number popularly called Mount Mary Basilica glimpse of the bedecked statue of making it the largest fair of its kind in the (Mount Mouli-in the vernacular)with its Mother and Child, present the offering city.Along the way came additions and long history of favours granted,is the of candles/flowers and then make one‘s deletions so that it is no longer the focal point of our festivities that have tortuous way home. Home could be same and not half as good as it was in undergone a sea change over the anywhere –Thane, Bhandup, Borivili, our youth. years. Vasai, Vashi and beyond.Would I do The Goa sweet shops now sell To kick start the event,there are it,would you,I wonder ,already know- adulterated versions of the original; the Novenas for D-day and the day of ing the answer.Why do all these people the German gold trinkets are replaced actual celebration which is the Sunday do it ? Not all of them seek favours nor by Chinese metal; the ice-creams have following the 8th.This is Marian devo- do all receive any.Most come for a more variety minus the flavour of old; tion at its best although anti-Mary fun- ‘darshan‘,as though the picture of the ferris wheels are too often wheels of damentalists term it mariolatory, happy Mother and Child could some- danger and the games of skill have thereby seeming to imply that her how be replicated in their own care- become games of chance. Moreover, devotees worship Mary-as one would worn lives.Mary has drawn more people sundry environmentalists and the ever- false gods-when all that one should to her Son,Jesus than any present moral police put paid to the do,if anything,is to revere her as the pontiff,saint,preacher or teacher.That cafeterias with their live music,the whist mother of Jesus and not the mother of is the raison d‘etre of Marian devotion. drives and jam-sessions,sounding the God.An ugly controversy,propagated True, there are some who are guilty of death-knell of the iconic September undoubtedly by the ‘father of lies ‘ who devotion to Her bordering on Garden (the erstwhile Chinese Garden vainly seeks to rule by dividing follow- worship.While this must be corrected, circa 1962 and before )then proudly ers of the Faith. the devotion itself cannot be con- patronized by the expat Chinese popu- All through my childhood, teen demned. lation of the city. years and after, I have visited the Shrine Over the years,services at the Another time,another scene of raised by Pope St.John Paul II, who Shrine have become more organized simple joys,great value for small change visited it in 1986, to the status of a and stream-lined,benefitting all - and class.Happily, the declining stan- Basilica, just once or twice a year- concerned.Critics say that the money dards of the fair have not affected the despite living a glance away-and never wasted on candles and flowers could Feast and its celebration in the con- during the feast.Two things had kept be more profitably spent on the crete jungle that is present day Bandra. me away: the crowds and the more needy.But aren‘t the flower/candle-sell- Nothing it seems,can quite vanquish alluring Bandra Fair (an off-shoot of the ers also needy? And which girl wouldn‘t the faith or diminish the fervour and feast)opposite!But of late I have taken welcome flowers on her birthday?! gaiety of what is for us, Bandraites, to visiting the Church on the Mount So there they go,Mary‘s devo- Christmas in September! A family feast during the octave,not so much to exer- tees, old and young,rich-poor,healthy- celebrated in the company of family cise my own devotion as to observe sick,of all castes, communities and and friends who come over after par- and marvel at the devotion of others the creeds,individuals and families from ticipating in Mass at the Shrine,to share overwhelming majority of whom are near and far.Decked in their finery, I the traditional meal of sorpotel and non-Christians.I am a keen observer have encountered vendors, beggars, sannas, supplemented by other typical and a poor participant here.Is it be- long-lost friends, people from all walks community fare. cause I am lacking in Marian devotion of life,there to wish Mary on her So that as we come together each or sorely afraid of being called a birthday,such an important day for all year in September to celebrate the ‘mariolater‘? Neither.Devotion assumes humanity.At whose birthday celebra- birthday of our blessed MotherMary,in varied forms and mine is of an alto- tion do you see such a motley much the same way we do each year gether different kind. crowd,gathered as equals, making in December when we celebrate the This faith of the aam admi in the obeisance to their common Mother? birthday of her Son Jesus who gave her Madonna and Child has to be seen to There are always some who will to us for our own,we recognize with be believed.Year after year the crowds make a business of other people‘s de- gratitudethat we belong to the one fam- grow larger and the queues to enter the votion and before long the peddlers of ily of God,and we can say with great shrine, longer.Bombay weather is knick-knacks,dispensers of bounty,and joy: dearest Mother,Happy Birthday ! providers of fun- n -frolic entered the 8 September 2014 7 Why The TV Media Needs To Change

 Francis Lobo have discovered that one way to need for the media is no longer to have punish humans is loneliness. Sci other. The fact is they should never local correspondents who can cap- Ience has found a remedy for this have happened in the first place. To ture and report live what is going on ailment — TELEVISION. However, get to the cause and the solutions but access to the sources of informa- like the death of many other great requires much more work and tion that can analyze why things are inventions, which I have seen in my life investmentby the media than what they happening and what can be done about time — the gramophone, the stencil- are prepared to do. After all the owners it. That children are being killed in ing machine, the typewriter, the add- want to see a healthy bottom line not a Gazais no longer News —— it is ing-listing machine — the end of TV well - informed public.. This role is fast happeningevery day. What we need to is near — unless it heeds my advice. being taken over by activists who put know are what is the Truth in the claims No doubt TV earns its income their views and findings on the Internet. and counter-claims, what can be done from ads. But there is a tolerance limit. That these blogs on the Internet are about it, who can put a stop to all this. As a child repetition was necessary to not effectively evaluated and edited Because of our reluctance to go make you remember and apply. But, are new dangers facing modern soci- after the real culprits, who are often hearing the same exhortation several ety. invisible, faceless and too powerful to times during a program is not going to The media has a great opportu- be confronted, we pick on the weakest make me invest in “Beer Shampoo” to nity to solve problems both before and in the episode. We go after the official make my silver hair a glamorous after they occur. There are billions of who takes the bribe not the business- golden or whatever. Afriend of mine, bits of data floating around which the man or industrialist who gives it. We who obviously had nothing better to electronic media today has the power catch and imprisonthe hooligans who do, has worked out how many years of to capture, join together and make vandalize during a riot but do nothing his life he has lost by watching repeti- sense out of. Imagine if the media to the ideologue who instigates the tive ads. could predict with reliable information riots in the first place. We are shocked The same applies to “News”. It is a flood, an epidemic, a terrorist attack, when there is a financial scam but do news when you hear it for the first time. a rail accident!! There is a strong cause nothing to condemn those who pro- It is no longer NEW when you hear the and effect relationship of whatever pounded economic theory and made same thing again and again. The need goes on in this universe. Nothing hap- policies which permitted and encour- of Modern Man is for “INFORMATION” pens on its own. Everything is con- aged such scams to take place. Why — news, data which is analyzed, inter- nected. Most of modern day calami- should an incident lead to a riot? Why preted and tells you how to act and ties are caused by Man or can be was the criminal just not arrested and react. Statistics, comparisons, events predicted by Man. let the law take its course? Why did a are not Information, unless they tell We are bringing into Law condi- whole village have to get involved how and why and what can be done tions for sanctioning projects to pro- The news media doesn’t shape about what is being reported. There is tect the environment, to control the people’s minds. People hear what they no point in comparing the frequency of use of drugs or the consumption of want to hear. People don’t always think railway accidents, air crashes, rapes, food and other resources, etc. Those and act rationally. They are not intrinsi- riots under one government v/s an- who want to show that they can do cally ‘Good” or “Bad’ People are people things fast override and silence those and believe what suits them. They can who advocate caution. Unfortunately nearly always be manipulated — for the media often sides with those in good or ill — if we know which buttons power, the rich and the influential dis- to press. TV has a profound impact on regarding the concerns of the weak Society. Studies have been conducted and the marginalized. Here again we to determine whether it has lead to see the activists taking over the role of increase in crime, reduction in human the media through the power of the interaction and rational thinking and Internet. ailments resulting from a sedentary life The 21st Century has been termed style. But coming to the TV as a media the Age of Enlightenment, the Knowl- for keeping us informed about what’s edge Era. We have the power, the going on around the world, a greater capability, the technology to gather degree of integrity, more knowledge bits of data from around the universe and a sound information base is called to answer any question — provided for so that people get the Truth and are we know what questions to ask. The not manipulated.

8 8 September 2014 Why Are So Many Priests Alcoholics?

by Fr. Alexander Lucie-Smith To tell someone they are an alcoholic is cruel, for it shames them profoundly: he story about the continuing it is always shameful to have to ac- misfortunes of Paul Gascoigne knowledge that you are not free, but T[former international footballer] rather a slave to your lower impulses. are more than the usual article about a But to leave someone in a state of “troubled” celebrity, or a star fallen on slavery is much more cruel, and, in the hard times, with which our culture is so end, will greatly increase the sum of obsessed. Rather it is a reminder of human misery. When a priest drinks the grief caused by alcoholism. Mr too much, that has to be confronted, Gascoigne is an alcoholic, and his and the sooner the better. There can addiction is clearly ruining him, just as or even Father Jack in the television be no solution to this or to anything else it once ruined George Best. Moreover, series Father Ted; and think of all the without acknowledgement of the truth. Mr Gascoigne’s alcoholism must cause priests you may have known who drank distress to his family and his friends, too much. And count up the times you Why am I writing this, and why now? many of whom, no doubt, have tried heard someone, somewhere, utter the Partly it is touched off by the pictures of repeatedly to help him. line: “Father X is not an alcoholic, he Paul Gascoigne, but it is also because just likes a drink” or one of the variants of a concern which we should all have Everyone who has lived inside the insti- thereof. for the welfare of the clergy. The spot- tutional church, in a presbytery or a light on the safeguarding of minors and religious house, or a convent, will know Why are so many priests alcoholic? vulnerable adults, which has taken up about alcoholism, for alcoholism is, That is a fairly easy question to answer. much attention in the last two decades, historically speaking, often regarded There are the pressures of the job, should not deflect us from keeping as the curse of the Catholic clergy. I being on call, sometimes for 24 hours ourselves alert to other areas of con- doubt that figures are published or a day. There is the simple difficulty of cern as well. much serious research done into the finding it hard to relax without a drink in problem any more, but Catholic priests your hand. There is the culture of drink- As with child welfare, burying our heads are more likely to be alcoholic than ing that is so common in Catholic mi- in the sand is never a useful way for- other men, or so it seem to me. lieux: the world of the Catholic social ward. Alcoholism among the clergy club, or the people always offering you was always a problem in the past; and Any attempt to provide scientific back- a drink. There is the challenge of lone- it has not gone away. Denying we have ing to such a claim would be bedevilled liness, and the challenge of boredom. a problem has not helped us in the by the question of just how you mea- And there is the possible genetic pre- past, and will only compound this, and sure the incidence of alcoholism. But disposition to alcoholism that some of other difficulties, we face. consider the facts: there are special us bear. drying out facilities just for the clergy, Fr. Alexander Lucie-Smith is a Catholic or there used to be; the figure of the Alcoholic priests do enormous dam- priest, doctor of moral theology and alcoholic priest is a staple in literature – age to the Church. I think that goes consulting editor of The Catholic Her- consider the “whiskey priest” in Gra- without saying. But what does even ald. ham Green’s The Power and the Glory”, worse damage is the way the phalanx Source: Catholic Herald of people who surround, protect and enable each alcoholic priest (and these people are never absent), who all deny there is a problem. One can see that Fr X is an alcoholic, but he is surrounded by people who refuse to admit that his is true, which introduces into ecclesial discourse the dangerous disconnect ❃ Bridal gowns tailored to perfection starting with reality which is the source of so at 9999/- many of our problems. If we cannot ❃ Communion dresses starting at 1999/- face the truth of Fr X’s alcoholism, what ❃ Communion 3 piece suits starting at 1599/- ❃ Flower packages starting at 2599/- truths can we face? If we cannot tackle this problem, how will we ever tackle anything?

8 September 2014 9 National Consultation On The Catholic Family “ f the laity in India is mature, the retirees and housewives, lestation alike in the family and Church in India will be mature,” each coming from a differ- outside, the blunt refusal on the Isaid Bishop Thomas Dabre of ent background, fired by the part of a parish school manager Poona at the NATIONAL CONSULTA- zeal of a large-hearted man to act in the instance of a lay TION ON THE FAMILY organized by who calls himself ‘little- woman principal being threat- one of the most committed Church brother’, couldn’t have ened for denial of school admis- activists in India, Chhotebhai, at the agreed less, even as they sions and a plethora of evils one Poona Diocesan Pastoral Centre, 23- prayed and argued their way would hardly associate with the 24 August 2014. And indeed a sense of into the hearts and con- by Ladislaus L Church and her adherents. maturity was evident among the mot- sciences of each other, vir- D’Souza On the point of “the role of the ley group of around 40 individuals from tually challenging ourselves laity in determining laws that di- across the country who deliberated on to not only express our views openly rectly affect them” discussed at the a gamut of issues concerning the but to rise above the same to have our Consultation, I personally feel that given Catholic Family as a precursor to the voices heard and counted in Church the fact that it is our bishops who Papal Synod called for in October in and society alike. This despite the fact constitute the ‘Magisterium’, the teach- Rome this year. that neither was there any kind of offi- ing authority of the Church, it would be The topics, broadly sub-headed cial sanction or ecclesiastical man- of much significance to have the laity as Pastoral, Sociological, Psychologi- date as such nor was the press repre- involved in the selection of candidates cal and Physiological, touched on sented! to the bishopric by way of an electoral matters related to preparation for mar- Input given by Virginia Saldanha vote. This is not to imply a rebuff to riage and baptism and the lack of it, the and Lorna D’Souza of Bombay, Alan the present lot of bishops, all of proposed uniform civil code, inter-faith Doulton of Poona, Louis Menezes of whom we lay folk hold in immense marriage, domestic violence and abor- Chennai and David & Aloma Lobo of esteem and with many of whom we tion, widowhood, single parenthood Bangalore, apart from that of the chief do interact pretty well. The point to and responsible parenthood, wealth coordinator, Chhotebhai himself, was be noted here is that if, in keeping with and poverty, alcohol and drug abuse, both informative and incisive. The the sentiments expressed by Pope youth and children, the internet and its hardcore data that emerged, along Francis, bishops are to truly have the effects and a lot more! with the sharing of the participants in smell of sheep, they must needs Bishop Dabre, who opened the general, was an eye-opener of sorts. emerge from those pasturing the flock proceedings the first day with the cel- While Virginia felt that men in general at the grassroots level as parish pas- ebration of the Eucharist, and Bishop don’t quite want the empowerment of tors, thus being in a position to feel the Lawrence Pius Dorairaj of Dharmapuri women, Lorna sought to know where heartbeat of every sheep in the pas- – yes, both with the smell of sheep! – the Church’s support is when a Catho- ture and accordingly represent before were present not merely physically but lic family or individual most needs it. the Vatican their needs when deliber- in every respect, encouraging the de- As for Chhotebhai, he opined that it ating and passing laws that directly or bates, taking active part in the group was time for Vatican III. indirectly affect them. discussions, assuring the gathering Pity that this event had not taken The NATIONAL CONSULTATION that our voices counted. It was sin- place earlier and with direct ecclesias- ON THE CATHOLIC FAMILY has con- cerely hoped that Father Arulraj of Ban- tical involvement at the CBCI level! cluded but not without hope as spelt galore, who was equally supportive One had to just listen, both with the ear out in the formation of a special forum and is a delegate to the synod in Rome, and the heart, to learn how fickle our to follow up on its deliberations that would carry the views and sentiments Christianness is as Catholics and how will not cease to enthuse those who of the participants to the Episcopal abysmally human the Church herself participated. As the chief coordinator deliberations with the Pope and thus is. Would the Church Universal ever himself said, “We shall shout from the have a bearing on the outcome of the know of how our Christian values van- rooftops what we’ve discussed here!” synod. ish when it comes to dealing with our Indeed, God willing, the efforts put in Bishop Dorairaj, Chairman of the own kind – mother-in-law harassing by Chhotebhai, Virignia, Louis, Diago CCBI Family Commission, affirmed, daughter-in-law, father-in-law demand- and a host of others, supported by the “Indian civil law does not recognize ing money from his just widowed participation of the delegates, shall the civil unions of people of the same daughter-in-law with a 9-year old child not go in vain! sex and the Catholic Church will al- for a dwelling-place that had been the ways oppose such unions.” Simple young family’s home for over a de- *Ladislaus L D’Souza, is a Pauline Cooperator, folk, from accomplished speakers to cade, sexual discrimination and mo- a member of the Indian Catholic Press Associa- tion and Copy-editor at St Paul’s / Better Yourself Books, Bandra, Mumbai 10 8 September 2014 8 September 2014 11 ‘Soft Coup’ By The RSS? VIEWS on NEWS During the past few months and activities according to the undertaking particularly after the BJP scored a mas- given to Sardar Vallabbhai Patel as a sive electoral victory [thanks to the precondition to lifting the ban imposed active support of the RSS and its off- in 1948. So they first formed the Jana shoots] the Sangh Parivar has been Sangh in 1950 and remote controlled it feeling like a bird set free from its cage. - the BJP is the latest avatar of that by Marshall Sequeira They have been using intemperate lan- formation. guage and making such bold state- Since the RSS cannot directly involve in politics, they cleverly made possible privileges] so they need not ments that suddenly the minority com- attend parliament. The celebrities must munities have been feeling insecure. a provision in its constitution allowing members to join ‘any’ political party. be ashamed of themselves because The Parivar feels emboldened with the they have lowered the dignity of the total silence from the Government which With this provision the RSS can send august House. Possibly having at- is ruled by its own political arm – the their cadre [brain-washed] to join the tended a couple of times, they must be BJP. BJP to carry forward its own agenda feeling suffocated sitting like school After the Gujarat riots, Narendra in the party and the government. Most children in those cramped benches. Modi had emerged as a strong figure of the BJP men are active hard core They are used to ‘special seating’ where and he knew that he could do without RSS members who are carrying for- they are prominently seen, applauded the RSS. He did not even allow them to ward the RSS agenda. Those in gov- and noticed all the time. This student canvass for him and won handsomely ernment are quietly doing their bit in like atmosphere is not to their liking by keeping them at bay. There was the process. Those in the affiliated nothing the RSS could do but watch outfits are going whole hog – like the and comfort. They may be feeling bored with awe the victories of Narendra Modi Togadias, Singals etc supported by in a place where there is no glamour in Gujarat elections. When Modi ‘saw certain BJP MPs and CMs of BJP and constant camera focusing. himself’ as the next PM, he knew it was ruled states. This sure but soft coup It is worth knowing if without at- a pan India exercise and could not will not take Modi far. If he has a vision tending the parliament, one can claim achieve his goal without the all-out RSS of real development, he will do well to all those benefits, cash payments etc. support. They too knew that Modi was be guided by the results of the by- If they can actually claim, it is very the only leader who could win and form elections in Bihar, Punjab, Karnataka unfair. The number of air tickets, allow- a BJP government at the centre. He etc – some work for the ‘Margadarshan ances etc should be commensurate allowed them to take the centre stage Mandal’. with their attendance. Actually, these in the run up to the elections and this ***** people should voluntarily surrender cultural organization galvanized the these freebies. If their commercial and Hindu vote bank to ensure that the BJP Our Members Of professional commitments [which earn won a majority on its own. Having taken them in lakhs] are more important and the help of the Parivar in the elections, Parliament paying, they should gracefully give up Modi is beholden to the Parivar and The Sachin Tendulkar issue [and their nominated seats so that some- therefore cannot now control them. It Rekha to some extent] brought to the body else can do a better job. gives a feeling that there was a tacit fore the utter callousness of some of the This applies to elected members understanding between the BJP and MPs when it comes to attending the as well in both the Houses. There are the RSS that the latter will have a free Parliament to which they are either people like L.K.Advani, who have had run – a quid pro quo. elected or selected [nominated]. The one of the best records in attendance. The BJP is the only political party celebrities in particular possibly view In the lower House as well there are in India which has a two tier set up – the their nomination as some sort of ‘deco- those celebrities who just adorn the parent organization [the RSS, VHP, ration’ or reward for their contribution to benches with little or no contribution in Bajarang Dal & AVBP] to consolidate society. It is a debatable point whether parliamentary debates. Their atten- the Hindu forces and the BJP to run the the contribution has been to the society dance record is not flattering. government. When it suits them they or to their personal wealth. Nobody There should be some stipula- say they are all one family but when played or acted free and donated the tion of minimum attendance for ev- situation becomes uncomfortable, they huge fee for national cause. We have ery MP – say 60% unless there are say they are separate entities. A very seen celebrities coming on television compelling reasons not to attend. clever ploy to ultimately achieve the shows and bring some old cricket ball The Presiding Officers should have goal set by the founder of the Parivar – or an old tee shirt to be auctioned. the discretionary power to condone Keshav Hedgewar in 1925 whose ac- Surely they own better things. absence for genuine reasons – not tivities were always viewed with suspi- When they are nominated, obvi- to sit on dharna outside the parlia- cion. Their hidden agenda was a mat- ously they are briefed on their privileges ment. Their benefits should have a ter of concern because it did not have as well their duties. When it comes to bearing on their attendance – actu- any written constitution of its own till duties, most celebrities take things for ally it should be on the basis of their they were forced to have one. The RSS granted – they think they are a special ‘contribution’ in parliament. is not supposed to indulge in political class [don’t forget they want all the 12 8 September 2014 The Secular Citizen and Divo Weekly Friendly Group Organising Tour of WESTERN EUROPE O EASTERN EUROPE O HOLY LAND All important sights and pilgrimage centres Includes : OAirfare O Visas OAccommodation in Hotels O Travel Insurance O Luxury A/C coach O sightseeing O Tips & Gratuities O Daily Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner O Water O English Speaking Licensed Guide. For more details Contact : The Secular Citizen / Divo Tel.: 22693578, 22654924 Email: [email protected] / [email protected] 8 September 2014 13 Come, Royal Christian Family Places are make the limited! best choice happy to announce the next Book Your of your Seat Early !! life-Partner GET-TOGETHER of Brides and Grooms will be held on 12 October 2014 from 10 A. M. to 4 P.M. at, Bandra West, Mumbai A grand gathering to get acquainted with boys and girls of matching age group who are in search of a suitable Life-Partner of their choice with an ultimate view to matrimony.

OOO Participants list and other details will be sent 15 days prior to the get-together. OOO Lunch, snacks, etc, will be provided at the Get-together. OOO Royal Christian Family is having the experience of organising over 60 get-togethers in the past. OOO The meet covers good family boys and girls Royal Christian Family 99, Perin Nariman Street, 1st Floor, Near GPO., Fort, Mumbai 400001 Tel.: 022 - 22693578, 22654924 Email: [email protected], [email protected]

14 8 September 2014 High Status Family Proposals GROOMS BRIDES BOISAR : CNI Protestant Spinster, aged 33 years, Ht. 5’, MUMBAI based Mangalorean Roman Catholic bachelor Wt. 58 kgs, Wheatish Comlexion. Edn. BE Com, PGD in 27 years, 6'. tall, Handsome, Edn. B.E. Electonics, work- Textile Designing, working as a Textile Designer. parents ing as a Sr. system Engg. Seeks a good looking bride. invite proposals from well settled, boys. (Approach the (Approach the groom and the family through Royal bride and family through Royal Christian Family - Christian Family, -Ref.:SF47) Ref.:SF51)

MUMBAI based Goan R. C. bachelor 30 years, 5'.9" MUMBAI : Goan Roman Catholic Spinster, aged 31 years, tall, Wheatish Complexion Edn. B.E. (Mech) MBA, Posi- Ht. 5’ 4”, Wt. 55 kgs, smart, Edn. B.Com., working as a tion : Business Analyst. Seeks a good natured homely Team Leader. parents invite proposals from educated bride. (Approach the groom and the family through boys. (Approach the bride and family through Royal Royal Christian Family, -Ref.:SF48) Christian Family - Ref.:SF52)

BANGALORE based Roman Catholic bachelor 30 years, MUMBAI : Mangalorean Roman Catholic Spinster, aged 5'.5" Handsome, Edn. B.Tech., MBA, PGDM., working 27 years, Ht. 5’ 5”, Wt. 55 kgs, Wheatish. Edn. LLB., as a IT Sofwere - Business Analyst. Seeks a good look- Lawyer by profession. parents invite proposals from well ing bride. (Approach the groom and the family through settled, decent family boys. (Approach the bride and fam- Royal Christian Family, -Ref.:SF49) ily through Royal Christian Family - Ref.:SF53)

USA based Mangalorean Divorcee (with 2 children) MUMBAI : Mangalorean Roman Catholic Spinster, aged aged 4 years, 5'.11" Wt. 73 kgs. tall, Fair, Handsome, 27 years, Ht. 5’ 5”, Wt. 43 kgs, Wheatish Complexion, Edn. Masters of Engg. MCA., working as an Electronics Edn. M.S. in Human Resources, working for an interna- / Telecom Engineer, working in USA. Seeks a suitable tional school, parents invite proposals from Mangalorean bride. (Approach the groom and the family through boys. (Approach the bride and family through Royal Royal Christian Family, -Ref.:SF50) Christian Family - Ref.:SF54)

8 September 2014 15 Unfailing Prayer to St. Anthony O holy St. An- thony, gentlest of Saints, your love for God and Charity for his creatures, made you worthy, when on earth, to pos- sess miraculous powers. Miracles waited on your word, which you were ever ready to speak for those in trouble or anxi- ety. Encouraged by this thought, I implore of you to obtain for me (re- quest). The answer to my prayer may require a miracle, even so, you are the Saint of Miracles. O gentle and loving St. Anthony, whose heart was ever full of human sympathy, whisper my petition into the ears of the Sweet Infant Jesus, who loved to be folded in your arms; and the gratitude of my heart will ever be yours. —Vincent Crasta, Santacruz (W)

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8 September 2014 17 Tellicherry Gets New Archbishop

New Delhi: Pope Francis has trans- ferred Bishop George Njaralakatt to Tellicherry archdiocese as its new arch- bishop. The 68-year-old prelate replaces Archbishop George Valiamattam who has since retired. The appointment was announced simultaneously at Rome, the Syro- Malabar Church headquarters of Kochi, Kerala, and the Tellicherry Archbishop’s residence on Friday. Bishop Njaralakatt is the first bishop of Mandya diocese in Karnataka state, which was carved out of Manantavady in Kerala. Ordained on December 20, 1971 for Tellicherry, he had earlier worked in Manathavady and Bhadravathi dioceses. He was born on June 23, 1946 at Kalayanthani near Thodupuzha in Idukki district. He entered the seminary for Tellicherry diocese in 1963. He served Tellicherry as assistant parish priest, parish priest, director of catechism and Mission League, eparchial finance officer, syncellus, eparchial administrator sede vacante, and later as protosyncellus of Bishop Jose Porunnedom. Since 2006 he served Bhadravathi diocese as its Protosyncellus until his appointment as the Bishop of Mandya. Tellicherry archdiocese covers the territory of Kannur and Kasargode dis- tricts of Kerala. Thalassery (Tellicherry) is a city on the Malabar Coast of Kerala, India. It is the 8th largest city of Kerala in terms of population. Once it was a European colony. Thalassery was a major com- mercial centre during the British rule of India. The name Tellicherry is the angli- cized form of Thalassery. 18 8 September 2014 Bandra Fair

BY JUBEL D'CRUZ which add to the activities. There are also stalls selling East-Indian Marathi and Konkani music CDs and VCDs. East-Indian Marathi songs are enjoyed not only by the East-Indian (Marathi Christian) Catholic community of Mumbai, but by other communities like the Goans and Mangaloreans too. The Bandra Fair is estimated to be around 450 years old. In the year, 1700, according to he Basilica of Our Lady of the historians, the statue of the Blessed Mount in Bandra (West), Mount Mary- Virgin Mary was disfigured by the Arab Mumbai, stands on a hillock pirates and the right hand was broken T in order to get hold of a gold lined about 80 metres above sea level, over- Bandra Fest looking the Arabian Sea. It draws over object in her hand, after which it was he Feast of Mount Mary and ten lakh devotees annually. During the tossed into the sea. According to a the Bandra Fair (from 8th Bandra Fair week, which is celebrated legend, a Hindu fisherman dreamt that September Onwards) in every year on the Sunday following T he would find a statue in the sea. And Mumbai commemorates the birth September 8, over six lakhs people his dream came true a few years later. of Jesus' mother on September 8. visit the shrine. The shrine attracts In the year, 1760, the damaged chapel During this week, thousands -- people of all faiths and walks of life who of Mount Mary‘s Basilica was rebuilt Catholics, Hindus, Muslims, Sikhs pray for thanksgiving or requesting of and the statue which the fisherman had -- flock to the Mount Mary Basilica favours. This year the weeklong cel- found in the sea was substituted with a to venerate Mother Mary. ebrations will commence from Sep- statue of ‘Our Lady of Navigators’ from The Portuguese built the tember 14 and will conclude on Sep- the nearby St. Andrew’s Church in Nossa Senhora de Monte chapel at tember 21. Bandra (West). It was in the year, 1761 the site in 1640. During the entire Bandra Fair that the original statue of ‘Our Lady of The chapel crowned the hill week, all roads in Bandra (West) are the Mount’ was returned to the Church till 1738 when it was razed in a raid decorated with colourful buntings. after being remodeled with a child in by Maratha warriors. According to Many people put up stalls selling reli- her arms. legend, six months later a fisher- gious items, black roasted grams and man recovered the life-sized statue various kinds of sweets. of the Virgin from the sea. The statue Stalls selling bottles of soapy wa- was installed in the Mount Mary ter that create bubbles are very popu- Church, built in 1761 with funds lar among children. Clowns, mimicry from parishioners. shows, circus stunts and other enter- The foundation for a new tainment programmes add to the fes- chapel designed by architect tive feel. You can have your photo- Shapoorjee Chandabhoy was laid graph taken too with backgrounds of on May 11, 1902. Built in Khandki your choice. and Porbunder stone, the church is Snacks and complete meals 110 feet long, 38 feet wide, and made at the homes of the locals resid- features an inner gallery running ing in the fair area are famous for their on three sides and new towers, taste, variety and economical rates. each 80 feet long. On December 5, There are such food outlets at almost 1954, the Vatican granted the every corner of the fair. church the status of "basilica" Music makes one’s mood merry. Daily programmes are announced

8 September 2014 19 All That’s Holy And Jolly!

A Freigner's View

andra Fair is actually more prop erly known as Mount Mary Fair - Bwhich unbeknown to me is an eight day Christian 'pilgrimage' from the bottom of Mount Mary Road up to the top where Mount Mary Church is situated. Appar- ently this annual festival is visited by up to a million people during the eight days from 8th September - which bearing in mind the narrow streets and the already over-burdened and badly managed traf- fic, makes it hell for people living in the vicinity of Bandra. And 'Pilgrimage' is prob- ably overdoing it a bit - I would describe is more as a light 30 minute upward stroll. eing a Mumbaikar, religion Proper pilgrimages surely involve wear- doesn’t come into consider Bandra Fair ing cloth sacks and very little on your feet Bation during any festival. Each whilst traipsing across land and sea for months, maybe years, just to say 'hello' to and every festival is celebrated with the same kind of enthusiasm and a representation of Jesus or Mary? love. Bandra Fair, sounds more like a fun filled fest; but don’t go by the name. It’s not all fun! Bandra fair is more about Mother Mary, mother of I saw Mount Mary Church (otherwise Jesus. It’s been said that Bandra fair started 300 years back after the idol known as 'Basilica of Our Lady of the of Mother Mary was found floating in the Arabian Sea between 1700 to Mount') for the first time. It was impressive 1760, just as it was seen in a dream of a Koli (fisherman) a few years before looking and beautifully lit up and actually the statue was found! looked very Christmassy. In fact I didn't really feel like I was in India at all - I was Bandra Fair is an 8 days festival celebrated on a huge scale for all the almost transported to Hamburg! Directly devotees from across the world at the Mount Mary Church, Mumbai. opposite is the 'Oratory of Our Lady of People in thousands come from all over the world to visit the Mount Mary Fatima' - a slightly novel looking monu- Church because of their faith and devotion. One of the beliefs is that ailing ment - with 38 symmetrical steps leading people can recover if they pray here and with regards to the same you will up to a 6 foot statue of Fatima. Again find stalls full of candles shaped like hands, foot, eyes and various other beautifully lit up with many people at the body parts. People buy the candle that represents their ailment and keep top praying and offering their wax candles it in the church. During these 8 days, you will find the entire street full with to the statue. people and stalls selling different things such as candles, food, clothes, etc. We entered the church which was filled with thousands of visitors (sorry, 'pilgrims'). In addition to the religious sentiments, Bandra Fair also provides enter- Everyone was staring up at the statue of tainment to the people coming there. You will see various rides which Mary and praying whilst I clicked away on includes the Ferris Wheel. Along with rides, there are jamming sessions my camera. I was impressed by the and games of skills. You will also find stalls with creative ideas that will multicoloured light show they had going make you stop and purchase a few things such as getting your name on in there....so Indian! written on a grain of rice. On the way back from our pilgrimage, I You will find the church decorated in the most beautify manner and is a had been spritually affected by what I saw. sight which shouldn’t be missed. It’s all about ‘Pray, Eat And Love’! For I took four street urchins and bought Starting from Sunday after the 8th September till the next Sunday (8 them fresh coconut drinks. See how they days), the entire stretch from Carmel Church to Mount Mary Steps will be smile! Blessed are us!!! full of people, colors, spirituality, love & laughter. So what are you waiting for? Make sure to be a part of this festive celebration!

20 8 September 2014 How to resolve fights with spouse? Monti Fest onti Fest is a major Mangalorean Catholic fes M tival on September 8 every year. This festival celebrates the Na- tivity of the Blessed Virgin Mary and in the Mangalorean Catholic commu- nity involves blessing of Novem (new crops). Monte Mariano Church at Farangipet in Mangalore, is a church where the Roman Catholic festival Monti Fest was initiated by Joachim Miranda, a Goan Catholic priest at Farangipet in 1763. Though Tippu Sultan destroyed the churches of Canara, he spared Monte Mariano Church in deference to the friendship Arguments are inevitable in any and place. Speak slowly, maintain eye of his father Hyder Ali with Father marriage, but you can resolve contact, and be conscious of not rais- Miranda.This Church is situated on them better with these tips. ing your voice. the banks of river Nethravathi. Monthi Fest is one of the three “A little humour may help but couples Watch Out For Triggers designated major feasts of Mangalore need to focus on the main issue at and Udupi Dioceses - the others be- Married couples tend to argue about hand, instead of the symptoms. ing the feasts of St. Lawrence at kids, in-laws and money matters. Fights Karkala and Lady of Pompei at Urva. with in-laws happen over ways to disci- Before Argument: Until a few decades ago, Monti Fest pline the kids or childcare issues. It escalates to blows, because that was celebrated on a grand scale at doesn’t help the situation at all,. “You’re Monte Mariano, with surrounding par- It Can Help Your Relationship the owner of your emotions, which ishes too participating. A large num- If you put in effort to accept your differ- means no one can make you angry. ber of devotees from Mangalore, in- ences or come to a compromise, he When you become emotional, you can cluding tile manufacturers and coffee says. A relationship is often tested in a tell your spouse that you feel angry, planters, footed it out to Farangipet conflict situation. However, in the pro- frustrated or sad, and ask for a time-out for the feast. cess of resolving it, a couple’s connec- to calm down, if it helps.” If this hap- The Konkani community of tion grows stronger because both par- pens often, seek help from a counse- Kudal and Ratnagirieven today call ties experience a deeper sense of trust lor. this feast as “Monthi Saibinnichem and confidence. Festh” and they too like in other places Take It Up Again celebrate by showering flowers, hav- Learn To Fight Well ing Novem and also follow the tradi- Let your spouse know if you think the Women tend to be more emotional and tion of remembering the ancestors matter isn’t settled. It’s perfectly all right men tend to be less tactful during argu- and having a family meal together to revisit the issue. When you can laugh ments. So to fight right, you should with Novem or new corn. However, at the matter, it means you have put it confront each other at the right time the way Novem is consumed by vari- behind you. ous Christian communitiesis vary Catering For Weddings, Birthdays, depending on regions. The new corn Communions, Readymade Wedding Gowns, is consumed through various means Christenings, and Other Functions Christening Sets, First Holy such as in Milk, coconut milk, Communion Dresses & All Payasam (Vorn) or even in beaten- other Wedding Accessories sweet-rice. However, there a little BAKERS, CONFECTIONERS & CATERERS and Thermocole Decoration, difference in celebration of feast Special Snacks Boxes Combos for Christmas, also Available at among the Konkani community in School & Institutional Functions, College various regions.The statue used for Socials/Proms, Kitty Parties etc. at White Rose Unmatchable prices starting from this feast is the famous Infant Mary’s Rs. 30 per box Sharaf Manzil, 1st Floor, 650, J.S.S. Rd, “Maria Bambina“ and by mistake we For Enquiry/Bookings Call 2nd Dhobitalao Lane, Mumbai 400002 call it “Monthi Saibinnichi Imaz” 26361512 / 26320369 / 9870166428 whereas they use the real “ Monti 660, Almeida House, Cross Pakhadi, Off. Tel.: 2207 4223 Yari Road, Versova, Mumbai-400061 Emails:[email protected] / Saibinichi Imaz”, that is the replica of “ Mount Mary “ from Bandra (Mumbai). 'Everything Prepared In-House' [email protected] 8 September 2014 21 What is The Big Deal?

Our present government was given ‘an  Don Aguiar tion. opportunity’ and voted to power on It goes without saying that this their plank of development and reduc- India’s economic and social advance- government should be free to be a ing corruption which in turn as they ment as their Prime Minister being the missionary for whatever cause they have assured will lead to “Acha Din” for first PM to be born after independence choose, short of stuff that violates the all. They started in all earnest in reduc- is burdened neither by colonial hang- law and attacks the rights of other citi- ing corruption first in their cabinet for- overs nor by the accompanying inferi- zens. mation by reducing the number of min- ority complex. It seems the present So while the nation has given isters in their cabinet and continued in- government would rather win their ac- their thumbs up for reducing financial house with their bureaucrats ensuring colades domestically and this gives and economic corruption leading to that they come on time, clubbing re- them the courage to talk of issues that economic and social advancement and sponsibilities of all respects of respec- are critical to India’s progress without for quick development ‘an opportunity’ tive area to one department/ministry so being concerned about the impression and voted this government to power that the files get moving in a fixed time they make abroad. The present gov- with an absolute majority, this govern- period as the lesser the layers in the ernment holds out the hope of making ment is now on the job of making their government the citizens have to inter- India’s economic development and plank of economic and social advance- act with the lesser the corruption and progress a social movement and brings ment a social movement. To achieve that will facilitate quick development. the gulf between ‘rulers’ and ‘ruled’ this they require the cooperation of the Their next is to constitute a While the present government nation and what better way of getting committee to identify all obsolete and is keeping the nation’s attention on this cooperation than to get them by archaic laws and acts with a view of reducing financial and economic cor- spreading their nationalist ideology and weeding them out systematically as ruption and into the act of weeding out corrupt the minds by changing history, well as all commissions and ministries archaic laws and acts and framing new geography, science, etc in line with formed during the British era as well as laws, acts and regulations to facilitate their ideology which appeals to the just after our independence that do not quick development they are on the majority in our country. serve any purpose presently as they other hand facilitating another kind of The nation has made their say that we are now independent for 68 corruption and that is of the mind – choice and given this government an years which is long enough to frame education or CORRUPTION OF THE absolute majority. However this gov- laws, acts and regulations for ourselves MIND -They are slowly but surely ernment will do well to constantly re- and appoint commissions and minis- saffronising the education and dividing mind themselves of the necessity to tries as required and relevant to present the nation on religious lines. It is clear strengthen the democratic institutions times now that this government don’t even that have been nurtured over the last 67 Rather than promise the na- pretend to be neutral in their history in years rather than promote their own tion on Independence Day a host of search of the truth. ideology development projects and freebies as What does need to be said is While the corruption of the pre- done by the previous government the that this government’s Prime Minister vious government was in the financial present government call this time was ought not to appoint people who want & economic sector because it was a for inviting other nations to start manu- to stifle discussion to the chairmanship collation government, the present gov- facturing their products in India, doing of the Indian Council of Historical Re- ernment which has been given ‘An away with the planning commission search. It is the sort of appointment that OPORTUNITY’ with an absolute major- which has outlived its purpose and demonstrates that India is not ready for ity is working on reducing this financial straightening out domestic issues as the modern world and not the best and economic corruption that will lead the present government leaders per- contributor to the efforts of universal to ‘Acha Din’ as they promised BUT at ceives these defects as part of their scholarship. the same time promoting another dan- own social milieu and are impatient to The project that this govern- gerous form of corruption – eliminate them. This is in complete ment promotes is that of instituting a CORUPTION OF THE MIND - which contrast to the previous government new nationalism, fair enough that this can be very dangerous and lead the leaders belonging to city based or feu- can entail research into the caste sys- nation divided on communal lines lead- dal elite or with colonial hangovers. tem imposed by Hindu social structure ing to chaos and medieval times. The present government is and its merits and the cruelty of Muslim No ifs & buts and no excuses. known to not pander to rank populism. or Mughal and British era in India, point- But then who on this earth can have it This government has the confidence to ing to the testimony of historians who all? This question brings to my mind demand people’s participation in have chronicled the acts of persecu- (Contd.. on p. 23)

22 8 September 2014 possibility that you will reach your great goals one day.“ Then the teacher of- fered to rewrite the paper with more InspirInspirInspiration!ation!ation! realistic attitude. InspirInspiration!ation! The boy went home and asked his father, how should he act. The father Determination answered: „This decision is very im- I will tell you a story of my portant for you. So you have to make friend Monty Roberts. your own mind on this“. After several days the boy brought the As he was a kid, his father as a horse same paper to his teacher. No changes trainer was moving from stable to stable, were made. He said: „Keep the F and from ranch to ranch, training horses. I will keep my dream“. Thus, the boy‘s school career was con- stantly interrupted. One day, when he Now Monty Roberts owns 4,000- was a senior, teacher asked him to square-foot house in the middle of 200- write about what he wanted to be when acre horse ranch and he still has that he grew up. He did not hesitate a minute After class he came to teacher and school paper, which now is framed and wrote seven-page paper about his asked: „Why did I receive an F?“. The over the fireplace. aim to be an owner of a horse ranch, he teacher responded: „This dreams is so wrote many details and drew a location unrealistic for a boy like you, who has Remember, you have to follow your of buildings and stables and even a no money, no resources and who heart and never let anyone to steal your detailed house plan. comes from itinerant family. There is no dreams. Two days later he received his paper back with letter „F“ on the front page. Know How To File A (Contd.. from p. 22) the famous term in economics Life Insurance Claim coined in 1914 by Austrian econo- mist Friedrich von Wieser – ‘oppor- he death of a near one can port (FIR) & post-mortem report if the tunity costs’ – The new oxford Ameri- leave the family facing a tough death is due to an accident. For medi- can dictionary defines is as ‘the loss Tsituation. While nothing can cal-related claims, you will have to of potential gain from other alterna- assuage the feeling of bereavement, arrange for medical reports such as tives when one alternative is cho- financial security can help the family, discharge summary and hospital sen.’ It is a simple but key concept of to a small extent, cope with the situa- records. The insurer can ask for addi- economics, which expresses the re- tion. So, don't stop at buying a life tional documents based on the cause lationship between scarcity and policy. Be informed about the policy of death, policy duration and risk cover choice and is extremely relevant in fine print and tell your family how to (See Documents To Be Submitted). making day to day decisions about claim the insurance money. Here is a spending scarce resources like time step-by-step guide to filing a life insur- Step 3. The insurer starts the evalua- and money. If we apply the same ance claim. tion process. If it feels the need for a concept to our lives, all the moral further examination, it conducts an souls have to forgo something or the Step 1. Inform the insurer. This can be external investigation to check the other in pursuit of their choices. What done by calling up its call centre or veracity of the claim. is the big deal? walking into the nearest branch. One can also get in touch with the agent Step 4. The claim is settled after all the policy was bought from. Keep the documents are received. Thanksgiving policy details handy. Step 5. Norms require that insurers Thanks To Infant Step 2. The nominee will be required settle all claims within 30 days of Jeus For Favours to give a claimant's statement (a form completion of all requirements. If there provided by the insurer for giving de- is need for a further investigation, Granted tails about the deceased and the claim- according to norms, the insurer should —Mrs. Prithi Rodrigues ant), original policy papers, death cer- complete the procedure within six tificate and police first information re- months

8 September 2014 23 MATRIMONIALS

[email protected] OR MUMBAI : Mangalorean Roman Catholic Bachelor, age 38 years, Ht. 9167880847 (Regd. No. 5745) Catholic Bachelor, aged 27 years, Ht. 5’ 5”, Wt. 54 kgs, Wheatish Complex- MUMBAI : Mangalorean Roman 6’, Wt. 75 kgs, Wheatish Complexion, ion, Edn.10th Std., working on Rigs as Catholic Bachelor, aged 41 years, Ht. Edn. B.E. Electonics, working as a Sr. a Cruise Member. Contact Mob. 5’ 8’, Wt. 60 kgs, Wheatish Complex- system Engg in Mysore. Seeks a 8879137735 (Regd. No. 5952) ion, Edn. 10th std., working abroad graduate, Mangalorean girl below 25 MUMBAI : Parents of Goan Roman as a Technican. Contact : 25945356 years. Contact email : Catholic Bachelor, DOB 1974, 5’ 9”, (Regd. No. 5708) [email protected] (Regd. No. P.hD (U.S.A.), working in US, seeks DUBAI : Mangalorean RC Divorcee, 6168) alliance from R.C. spinster. Send de- aged 42 years Ht. 5’11”, Wt. 82 kgs, MUMBAI : Goan Roman Catholic tails and recent full size photograph Fair Complexion, Edn. B.E. (Mech.), Bachelor, aged 33 years, Ht. 5’ 7”, Wt. to : [email protected] Working as an Engineer. Seeks a 69 kgs, Fair Complexion, Edn. B.E. (Regd. No. 5950) suitable match. Contact email : (Mech.) working as a Me- MUMBAI : Goan Roman Catholic [email protected] OR chanical Engineer. Contact email.: Bachelor, age 39 years, Ht. 5’ 7”, Wt. 7259846735 (Regd. No. 5482) [email protected] OR 75 kgs, Wheatish Complexion, Edn. BANGALORE : Roman Catholic 9890892847 (Regd. No. 5985) XII Std., Working as a Gen. Steward Bachelor, aged 30 years, Ht. 5’ 5”, Wt. MUMBAI : Goan Roman Catholic in Ship. Seeks a Goan girl below 32 78 kgs, Wheatish Complexion, Edn. Bachelor, aged 32 years, Ht. 5’ 11”, years. Contact email : B.Tech., MBA, PGDM., working as a Wheatish Complexion, Edn. B.Sc., I.T., [email protected] OR IT Sofwere - Business Analyst. Seeks & Dip. in Elect. Engg., working as an 26671289 / 9969488673(Regd. No. a suitable match. Contact email : Assistant Manager (Technical) Only 5949) [email protected] OR Child. Contact email : MUMBAI : Mangalorean Roman 8123090908. (Regd. No. 6158) [email protected] OR Catholic Bachelor, aged 33 years, Ht. MUMBAI : Mangalorean Roman 9820561856 (Regd. No. 5983) 5’ 8”, Wt. 70 kgs, Wheatish Complex- Catholic 1st marriage annuled by the U.S.A. : Universtiy Professor, USA, ion, Edn. B.Com., working as a church, aged 37 years, Ht. 5.’ 7”, Fair Complexion, 5’ 7”, age 46 years, Microsoft Engineer in Bangalore. Well Wt. 80 kgs, Fair Complexion, Edn. Protestant Bachelor, Seeks a well settled, having own house in Banga- HSC., Diploma in Hotel and Restau- educated, fair complexioned girl below lore. Seeks a educated Mangalorean rants Management, Working in Front 40 years, Contact email girl from good family background. Con- office Department, well settled. [email protected] OR tact Email : [email protected] OR Seeks a simple, humble, godfearing 9769061597. (Regd. No. 5978) 9323949129 / 9867848489 girl. Contact email : MUMBAI : Roman Catholic Bachelor, (Regd. No. 5880) [email protected] aged 43 years, Ht. 5’ 7”, Wheatish MUMBAI : Goan Roman Catholic OR 9619089645 (Regd. No. 6154) Complexion, Edn. B.Com., M.A., (Di- Bachelor, aged 31 years, Ht. 5’, 4”, MUMBAI : Telugu Protestant Bach- ploma in Journalism from UK); work- Wt.65kgs, Wheatish Complexion,Edn. elor, aged 26 years, Ht. 5’ 10”, Wt. 86 ing as a Freelance Journalist. Seeks PGDBM working as a Sr. Manager in kgs, Fair Complexion, Handsome, a suitable & compatible match from MNC in Mumbai. Well settled, having Well qualified and good family back- India/Abroad, He might travel abroad own accommodation, looking for a ground. Seeks a suitable match for work. Contact email : suitable match. Contact email : (Regd. No. 6153) [email protected] / [email protected] OR 9820467452 (Regd. No. 5759) [email protected] OR Address your replies to : 9221394374 (Regd. No. 5968) AUCKLAND-NEWZEALAND : Goan R.C. Bachelor, aged 31/5’8”, working MUMBAI : Roman Catholic Bachelor, Regd. No. in Auckland Newzealand in a aged 28 years, Ht. 5’ 8”, Wt. 65 kgs, ROYAL CHRISTIAN FAMILY, Newzealand Band as a Personal Wheatish Complexion, Edn. B.E. (I.T.), 99, Perin Nariman Street, 1st Banker. Contact : Email : working as a Net Work Engineer Floor, Fort, Mumbai - 400 001. abroad. Seeks a slim, fair, beautiful, educated girl below 26 years. Contact Members are requested to email : inform us when they are settled, To Place Your Matrimonial [email protected] OR so that publication of their Advertisement Call: 9324312605 (Regd. No. 5963) 2269 3578 OR 2265 4924 MUMBAI : Karware Goan Roman details can be discontinued.

24 8 September 2014 MATRIMONIALS

MUMBAI : Goan Roman Catholic MUMBAI : Mangalorean Roman Catholic Spinster, aged 26, Ht. 5’ 5”, Spinster, aged 30 years, Ht. 5’ 1”, Wt. Catholic Spinster, aged 28 years, Ht. Wt. 58 kgs, Wheatish Complexion, 56 kgs, Wheatish Complexion, Edn. 5’ 6”, Wt. 50 kgs, Wheatish Complex- Edn. B.Com., employed as an Admin- SYBA, Dip. in Avition, working CO in ion, Edn. M.Com., B.Ed., Seeks a suit- istrator. Seeks a suitable match. Con- TCS, Seeks a Goan, loving, under- able match. Contact email : tact email : standing, social and should have fam- [email protected] OR [email protected] OR ily values. Preferred from Gulf/ 9867435052 (Regd. No. 6139) 9920623791 / 7738745831 (Regd. Mumbai. (Regd. No. 6170) MUMBAI : Goan Roman Catholic Spin- No. 6127) MUMBAI : Mangalorean Roman ster, aged 28 years, Ht. 5’ 4”, Wt. 75 MUMBAI : Mangalorean Roman Catholic Spinster, aged 29 years, Ht. kgs, Fair Complexion, Edn. HSC + Catholic Spinster, aged 43 years, Ht. 5’ 3”, Wt. 50 kgs, Wheatish Complex- ECCED Course, Teacher by profession 5’ 5”, Wt. 59 kgs, Fair Complexion, ion, Edn. MBA (Finance), working as Only Child. Contact email : Edn. 9th Std., good looking and smart, a Finance Manager in Dubai Seeks a [email protected] OR working as a Hair Dresser. Seeks a well settled boy in Dubai or Mumbai. 9869088728 / 9869088736 (Regd. No. suitable match. Contact 9619957198 Contact email : 6137) (Regd. No. 6124) [email protected] OR NASHIK : Mangalorean Roman Catho- MUMBAI : Goan Roman Catholic 971501663159 / 9867375554 (Regd. lic Spinster, aged 25 years, Ht. 5’ 6”, Spinster, aged 31 years. Ht. 5’ 2”, No. 6169) Wt. 64 kgs, Fair Complexion, Edn. C.A., Wheatish Complexion, Edn. HSC, MUMBAI : Mangalorean Roman working as a Chartered Accountant. working as a Chef in Qatar. Contact Catholic spinster 1973 born, 5’ 5” tall, Seeks highly qualified match, Contact email : fair complexion with qualifications, email : [email protected] OR [email protected] / B.Com. (Mumbai), M.B.A. Finance 9960620677 (Regd. No. 6134) [email protected] OR (Canada), M.B.A., (H.R.) and Diplo- PUNE : Goan Roman Catholic Spin- 9892071067 (Regd. No. 6115) mas in I.T. (NIIT), Comp. (APTEC), ster, aged 26 years, Ht. 5’ 10”, Wt. 82 INDORE : Roman Catholic Spinster, and Cert.Ind Acct. (I.C.A.), working in kgs, Wheatish Complexion, Edn. M.A. aged 39 years, Ht. 5’ 4”, Wt. 53 kgs, good position. Graduate / Post Gradu- working with MNC as HR. Seeks a Fair Complexion, Edn. M.Com., well ate unmarried R.C. Bachelors upto 45 suitable match. Contact email : settled. Seeks a suitable match. Con- years, employed in good position and [email protected] OR tact email : well settled in Mumbai or abroad. Con- 9860097450 (Regd. No. 6132) [email protected] OR tact email : [email protected] MUMBAI : Mangalorean Roman 09827011122 (Regd. No. 6114) or Mobile No. 9892700617. (Regd. Catholic Spinster, aged 25 years, Ht. MUMBAI : Mangalorean Syrian Or- No. 6166) 5’ 8”, Wt. 72 kgs, Fair Complexion, Edn. thodox Christian Spinster, 33 years, NEW DELHI : Goan Roman Catholic B.Com., Diploma in Fin. App. working Ht. 5’ 8”, Wt. 62 kgs, Fair Complex- Spinster, aged 28 years, Ht. 5’ 3”, as a Sr. Executive in Finance Company. ion, Edn. MBA, B.Com., working as Wheatish Complexion, Edn. B.A., Seeks a educated and well settled a Programmer in IT Software. Con- working as a Travel Executive. Seeks bachelor Ht. above 5’ 8”. Contact email tact email : [email protected] / a suitable match. Contact email : : [email protected] OR [email protected] OR [email protected] OR 9769440351 (Regd. No. 6131) 9167135860 (Regd. No. 6111) 9818729963 (Regd. No. 6143) MUMBAI : Goan Roman Catholic Di- MUMBAI : Anglo Indian Roman vorcee, aged 41 years, Ht. 5’ 3”, Fair Catholic Spinster, aged 28 years, Ht. Complexion, Good looking and simple, 5’ 3”, Wt. 68 kgs, wheatish Complex- Edn. B.Com., working as a administra- ion, Edn. T.Y.B.A., working for CSR, tor. Seeks a suitable match. Contact Address your replies to : Seeks a well settled, sober habits, pre- email : [email protected] OR sentable, understanding nature, Con- 9967289345 / 9987638099 (Regd. No. Regd. No. ROYAL CHRISTIAN FAMILY, tact email : [email protected] 6130) st OR 9049766964 (Regd. No. 6142) MUMBAI : Tamilian Roman Catholic 99, Perin Nariman Street, 1 Spinster, aged 30 years, Ht. 4’ 10”, Wt. Floor, Fort, Mumbai - 400 001. Royal Christian Family 50 kgs, Wheatish Complexion, Edn. Helps In Choosing B.Com., working as a CRE, Contact Please renew your membership email [email protected] OR The Right Life-Partner at lease a month in advance 7507899111 (Regd. No. 6129) before its expiration date. Serving Since 33 Years MUMBAI : Mangalorean Roman 8 September 2014 25 Children And The Catholic Divorce Syndrome “ arents in turmoil are bound to elbow room with the children. have children in turmoil,” said The effect of divorce PMsgr. Patrick Armshaw. Chil- Fr. John Catoir, in his book, The Di- dren, he went on to say,” need to be on children has lemma of Divorced Catholics, men- protected from the residue of their par- tioned, “Children bear the brunt of a ents’ one-time marriage.” Children of been a sharp topic failed marriage. But it is also true that divorce need to be guided properly, to children suffer when they are being be taught and shown ways to make of debate in surveys raised in a dysfunctional family… Some- good decisions in their own future lives. and research times a divorce is necessary to protect the children. Nevertheless, divorce is Each year thousands of Roman Catho- across the nation. such a serious step, both parents must lic children in India experience the try to weigh the consequences.” trauma of parental divorce. Children selves against emotions that seem over- suffer many losses during the act when whelming. The effect of divorce on children has parents go through divorce proceed- been a sharp topic of debate in surveys ings. These losses harbor the anger The annulment process aids divorced and research across the nation. and sadness of parents as well, unable catholics with assistance from psy- to share their love and attention. chologists and others by explaining Read the Gospel of Mark. 10:14-16. what the annulment is all Jesus said to them, “Let the little chil- The action of children mov- about. For this effort many dren come to Me; do not stop them; for ing to a new home and catholic dioceses have Mar- it is to such as these that the Kingdom school. Adapting to a new riage Tribunals. Catholics di- of God belongs. Truly I tell you, who- life environment. Fear that if vorced, or thinking of divorce ever does not receive the Kingdom of parents stop loving each should meet their diocesan God as a little child will never enter it.” other they may stop loving Tribunal. Parents should talk them. to their children. Tell them In many ways, divorce is a glimpse into the frailty of human nature. Divorce is BY MELVYN BROWN you have decided to appeal Emeritus Pope Benedict XVI for a divorce. emotional suffocation. It must not take said divorced people “are precedence over domestic struggle not excluded from the love of the Church Make children feel they are still loved. and the major issues of a Catholic or from the love of Christ… we love Be straightforward with your young marriage agenda which is to comfort, these people who are suffering. “ The ones. Make them understand it is not support and thrive in a fast changing Holy Father expressed solicitude for their fault. Let them know that many world – especially, for the growth and divorced Catholics remarried outside people will be upset. Do not argue advancement of the children in the the Church, with concern that their chil- each other’s mistakes or predicaments faith. dren must not suffer the deprivation of with the youngsters. Always keep things their Catholic faith. easy for them to comprehend.

Divorce is a troublesome time when Dr. Constance Ahrons, researcher and Unik Caterers misunderstandings open up. Parents author of the book, “We Are Still Fam- have their own disputes to solve and ily”, says that divorce does not have to For WWFor eddings andandeddings children often feel they should bring be devastating. She found that many All OccasionsOccasionsAll their parents back together. parents’ divorces had a positive out- come on youngsters and parents alike. Lucian / Ida In the Catholic Digest writer Lynn 9820111603/ 9224261108/ 65788344 Casella made a statement that “chil- Family break ups could come about in Gharkul Society, dren grieve about divorce differently several ways: For example, by way of B/6, 1st, Siddharth Nagar, Vakola, than their parents do. She adds, “If mental, physical or sexual abuse. It is Santacruz (E), Mumbai - 400055 your children refuse to talk about the always best in these events to get proper Email: [email protected] separation or the divorce, honor their medical, legal or criminal help. Keep wishes. They may be defending them-

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