Leftlion Magazine Issue 32 Contents December 2009 - January 2010 Editorial Ducks and Youths
Total Page:16
File Type:pdf, Size:1020Kb
ISSUE 32 DEC 2009-JAN 2010 HUN � KS E � E SAT�BAINS SCORZAYZEE O R F johnny�vegas F NOTTINGHAM N EVENTS�LISTINGS O AND�NEW R T FOOD�REVIEWS A T D IN SECTION N GH LE AM�CA WINNER, WRITING & UBLISHING AWARD 2009 P ADVERT 24 leftlion.co.uk/issue32 LeftLion Magazine Issue 32 contents December 2009 - January 2010 editorial Ducks and youths, Well. That was a right batchy decade, wan’t it? If someone had told me in 1999 that I’d see planes crashing into skyscrapers live on the telly, Forest in Division Three, Saddam Hussein dangling off a noose, trams back in town, a massive war, the manager of England taking a job at Notts County, the bent election of an American moron, and my dear home town being seen as the most violent, deprived, horrible city in the world, I’d have said; “Yeah, worrever, duck - got any Lottery results, then?’ Anyway, like every other mag (apart from the nudey ones), we’re devoting a hefty chunk of this issue to take a look back at the noughties - a distinctly Nottular take encrusted with the downright proper artwork of LeftLion fave Rob White. Don’t expect any rammell about global 10 11 warming or Jade Goody, however – we only bother with 07 the crucial issues of the day, such as Emo-baiting, people being unable to pull their trousers up, and – after years of trying to pin him down - a very special interview with the May Contain Notts The Noughty Notts Write Lion one and only Slanty N. 04 The news diary that goes around 11 Your complete-ish guide to the last 26 ‘Nuff book reviews this ish, The thinking it’s summat decade in the City of Snot, with a Colour of Blood, Cello & Other Stories, It’s not all reminiscing, though; there’s summat for cast of thousands Staple 71: The Art Issue, Aztec Love everyone in this issue, whether you like your snap Song, No Way to Say Goodbye and The (we’ve got a brand-new food section near the back, as LeftEyeOn Girlfriend Experience 05 A 10p mix of eye-duddoos from our The Hunks of Nottingham well as a natter with Sat Bains), your tunes (courtesy of squadron of snappers 15 Ladies: Christmas comes early with the indomitable Scorzayzee), or your culture (courtesy twelve whole months of prime East Music Reviews of everything else in the mag). Plus, if you’re the kind Midlands beefcake 27 Captain Dangerous, EmceeKilla, Felix, of person who constantly thinks to yourself ‘Hey, I have 07 The Lenton Boulevardier Red Shoe Diaries, Royal Gala, The endless sexual fantasies about the massive goose on the Sat Bains gets the chip pan on for us Death Notes and more traffic island and the Gordon Scott Monkey – when is Artist Profiles LeftLion going to cater to my needs?’ then stop whittling; 18 Introducing White Rabbit Studios the one and only Rikki Marr has done us a special erotic A Canadian In New Basford Noshingham calendar, thick with the masculine musk of Nottingham. 08 Rob’s seasonal decade-long 28 Sink your tegs into our brand-new food message Viva Johnny Vegas page Without going all Xmas-lettery on you (we’ll leave that 20 The Monkey King returns to Notts job to our very own pet Canadian, Rob Cutforth), 2009 has been dead kind to LeftLion. Not only did we pull off Put Le Donk On It Notts Trumps 10 a blinding all-dayer across the whole of Canning Circus, Nottingham’s most flammable Event Listings 30 Plus The Arthole, LeftLion Abroad and 21 but we also won the Writing and Publishing gong at the lyricist is back Looking for an excuse to avoid your Rocky Horrorscopes minging work Xmas party? Get-out Nottingham Creative Business awards last month, which clauses aplenty here has made our Mams right praahd on us. On behalf of everyone here at the ‘Lion, I’d like to thank everyone who has ever put themselves out for our mag, website and events, all the advertisers who have kept us going for six years, and all our readers. And my stylist. And lovely Nottingham God. Word to your Nana. Al Needham credits [email protected] Editor in Chief Photography Editor Podcast crew Jared Wilson ([email protected]) Dominic Henry ([email protected]) Paul Abbott Poddingham Timmy Bates LeftLion’s podcast of plenty Editor Theatre Editor Rosa Brough Poddingham is a monthly mix of tunes Al Needham ([email protected]) Adrian Bhagat ([email protected]) Will Forrest and chat from musicians, artists, Jon Hall writers - everyone creative. It’s hosted Technical Director Contributors Dan Hardy by Paul, who’s dabbled in sculpting, Alan Gilby ([email protected]) Andy Afford Christopher Hough video production and was the in-house Rob Cutforth Stuart Rogers DJ at the old Virgin Megastore, as well Sub-Editors Bod Fonda Oli Ward as a community radio veteran. He’s Alison Emm ([email protected]) Duncan Heath Jim Wheatley currently extremely overexcited at the Charlotte Kingsbury ([email protected]) Beane Noodler awesome musical and artistic vitality of Notts. Nathan Miller ([email protected]) Aly Stoneman LeftLion.co.uk received over ten million leftlion.co.uk/podcasts Nik Storey page views during the last year. This Art Director Jack Tunnecliff magazine has an estimated readership of David Blenkey ([email protected]) Lauren Walker 40,000 people and is distributed to over Alison Emm Bianca Winter 300 venues across the city of Nottingham. LeftLion’s Guardian Angel Marketing and Sales Manager If your venue isn’t one of them, please If it wasn’t for Ali, you would Ben Hacking ([email protected]) Illustrators contact Ben on 07984 275453 or email probably be reading a beer Ash Dilks [email protected]. mat instead of Nottingham’s Art Editor Rikki Marr skillest publication right Frances Ashton ([email protected]) Rob White This magazine is printed on paper about now. What does she sourced from sustainable forests. Our do? Everything – from keep- Literature Editor Photographers printers are ISO 14001 certified by the ing an eye on the accounts James Walker ([email protected]) David Baird British Accreditation Bureau for their to an endless string of film Geoff Curtis environmental management system. reviews, helping out on the Music Editor Jonathan Hart crappier jobs and creating Paul Klotschkow ([email protected]) Chris J.H. a massive Slanty N to spitting on a hanky and wiping Christine Preedy our chatty faces when necessary. She’s also a dab hand Lewis Stainer at making things, including a range of charming stuffed Bob Watt elephants that are available for sale in Kathleen and Lily’s on Mansfield Road for a mere fifteen pounds – the perfect Want to advertise in our pages? Email [email protected] Xmas gift for those who like elephants, but don’t have the or phone Ben on 07984 275453 or visit leftlion.co.uk/advertise house room for a proper one. www.leftlion.co.uk/issue31 3 MAY CONTAIN with Nottingham’s The forgotten areas of Nottingham ‘Mr. Sex’, Al Needham Everybody knows where St Anns, Radford, Meadows, Sherwood and Basford are. But there NOTTS are some places which don’t seem to be officially recognised. I’ve been compiling a list of these: October 2009 - November 2009 Whitemoor, Killisick, Lenton Abbey, Balloon Wood. Stillman I have only ever been to Silverdale once, and that was only recently. Where the hell has that place been hiding? christmasatthezoo There’s a little row of shops on Mansfield Road and every one has the name of the area it thinks it’s in as part of the name. None of them agree on what the area is, though: Woodthorpe Tandoori, Sherwood Dental Laboratory and Arnold something-or-other. cheque Not forgotten but confusingly defined are Carrington, Mapperley/ Mapperley Park/ Mapperley Top and Forest Fields/Hyson Green. 21 September 20 October Nutty Sis Libertys, the very cradle of binge-drink Britain you’ll recall, – A 17 year-old mongling from Beeston and his Dad get done for turns itself into a massive Flaming Lamborghini. Some say it nicking the stereo from the house of the former’s girlfriend, after The Mapperley thing isn’t confusing at all. was burned down: I prefer to the use the term ‘purified’. they had a row. Dad was also caught brandishing an iron bar and a Mapperley Park is all the big houses, trees, speed drill bit. What kind of wussery is this? “Dad! Dad! Sharon’s split up bumps and vol-au-vents. Mapperley Top is on top 23 September wi’ meh! Beat ‘er Dad up and nick us summat, Dad! Pleeeeeeeease!” of a hill and Mapperley is like God’s own halfpipe. Sol Campbell plays one game for Notts County before But hold on... Where the eff is Thorneywood? bailing. From now on, the measurement of an hour and a half in 21 October myhouse-yourhouse Nottingham shall now always be referred to as ‘Sol’s Career at Jongleurs, the place where assorted stand-up comedians who County’. “The train to Loughborough is now delayed by Sol’s want to be doing beer adverts instead say the same thing to Thorneywood is arguably those that don’t want Career at County”. “See you in the pub in Sol’s Career at County”. different groups of students and people trapped in the nightmare to call themselves St Anns. Basically at the top of “I’m not coming in today, boss - I’ve been on the bog for Sol’s of team-building work dos who couldn’t get booked into the Donkey Hill and over between Porchester Road and Career at County” bowling alley for a Hawaiian Night, shuts down.