C'?C C~"~I;~~ ~ Bruce Hermann, Assistant Professor ~- Department Oftheatre ABSTRACT

THE PATH TO CREATION: SHE, AN ORIGINAL PRODUCTION

A Thesis

Presented in Partial Fulfillment ofthe Requirements for

the Degree Master ofFine Arts in the

Graduate School ofThe Ohio State University

Allyson Laura Rosen, B.S. •••••

The Ohio State University 2002

Master ofFine Art's Examination Committee: Approved by Jeanine Thompson, Associate Professor, Adviser Dr. Joy Reilly, Associate Professor C'?c c~"~i;~~ ~ Bruce Hermann, Assistant Professor ~- Department ofTheatre ABSTRACT

The following is the documentation of my process as an actor-creator in the creation of my thesis project, she. This process has been a journey of discoveries: as a result of my personal, artistic, and academic connections to folklore and modem experimental theatre, I discovered that I wanted to create an experimental theatre piece that engages the audience beyond a voyeuristic level, using mythology and folklore to explore universal connections that human beings have to one another.

Chapter One is an overview of the research for the project. Chapter Two discusses the creation of the script for she, and also includes a final draft of the script. In

Chapter Three, I describe the production circumstances for the project. Chapter Four is a record of the rehearsal process, and the scored script is also included. In Chapter Five, I discuss discoveries made during the performance of she, and provide an evaluation of the entire process.

ii Dedicated to my family and friends.

Sometimes its hard to tell the difference between the two.

iii ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I wish to thank my adviser and mentor, Jeanine Thompson, for her unceasing support ofthis project. Her enthusiasm and pro-active attitude infused this process with a sense ofdiscovery.

I thank Robert Post for the generous contribution ofhis time and creative energy.

His feedback was not only objective, but also inspiring.

I am grateful to my "partner in crime," Kathleen Gonzales, for offering her shoulder to cry on and her imagination when I most needed it.

I want to thank my production team, Mark Bernhardt, Brea Fitzgerald, Tatjana

Longerot, and Katie Whitlock for making this project as personal to them as it was for me.

I also wish to thank Dr. Joy Reilly and Bruce Hermann for their insightful comments on this thesis and on my performance.

Finally, I wish to thank The Ohio State University Department ofTheatre for its continuing support ofthe creation ofnew works, and for providing an opportunity for young theatre artists to incubate new definitions oftheatre.

IV VITA

April 20, 1977 Bom - Baltimore, Maryland

1991 - 1995 Theatre Major, Baltimore School for the Arts (BSFA)

1999 Bachelor ofScience, Towson University (TV)

1999-present.. Graduate Teaching Associate, The Ohio State University, (OSU)

2001 Instructor, Acting and Movement, Blue Lake Fine Arts Camp (BLFAC) White Hall, Michigan

PERFORMANCES

Semi-Professional Theatre

Tunnel ofLove Alice Howmet Playhouse, MI Mixed Nutz Ensemble Axis Theatre, MD

Community Theatre

Don Juan in Chicago Elvira Fells Point Comer Theatre, MD Between the Lines Frankie Fells Point Comer Theatre, MD The Miracle Worker Helen Keller Harbour Theatre, MD

v Educational Theatre

St. Joan ofthe Stockyards Snyder OSU, Lesley Ferris she She, et. at. OSU, MFA Thesis Role Uncommon Clay Camille Claudel OSU, Jeanine Thompson The London Cuckolds Eugenia OSU, Maureen Ryan OrPheus Descending Eva OSU, Sue Ott Rowlands King Lear Fool OSU, Sue Ott Rowlands Mississippi Stories Mama OSU, Gloria Baxter Marriage Dunyashka OSU, Anatoly Morozov Red Noses Monselet, et.al. TU, Stan Brown OueenMab Ensemble TU, Juanita Rockwell The Flood Daughter TU, Ralph Blasting Pilcrim Souls Hannah TU, Tom Pullem Reflections One Person Show TU, Conservatory Final Project subUrbia Sooze TU, Peggy Penniman Etta Jenks Sheri TU, Juanita Rockwell A Midsummer Night's Dream Hermia BSFA, Donald Hicken The Table Laura BSFA, T'MUNA Theatre

Recordings

Pilgrim Souls Soundtrack Hannah TU, Tom Pullem

FIELDS OF STUDY

Major Field: Theatre

VI TABLE OF CONTENTS

Abstract ii

Dedication iii

Acknowledgments iv

Vita v

Introduction 1

Chapters 1. Research 4

1.1 Sources ofInspiration 4 1.1.1 The Masks ofEternity 4 1.1.2 Experimental Theatre 6 1.2 Pre-Production 10 1.2.1 The Independent Track 11 1.2.2 Research Methods 11 1.2.3 Movement Training 11 1.2.4 New Works Lab 12 1.2.5 9th Annual Myth and Theatre Festival- New Orleans 13 1.2.6 Independent Study 15 1.2.7 Actor Training 17 1.3 Major Sources ofResearch 17 1.3.1 Fairy Tales and Fairy Tale Adaptations 18 1.3.2 The Archetypes 22 1.3.3 Rites ofPassage 26

2. The Writing Process 30

2.1 From Concept to Concrete 30

VB 2.1.1 If the Slipper Fits•••...... 31 2.1.2 Voice? You Mean I Need a Voice? : 31 2.1.3 Fork in the Path 33 2.1.4 Dreams Really Do Come True 34 2.1.5 New Works Lab 35 2.2 Journal Entries 37 2.3 Director's Concept Statement 48 2.4 Completed Script 53

3. Production Circumstances 98

3.1 Thesis Committee 98 3.1.1 Final Thesis Committee 99 3.2 Production Time-Line 99 3.3 Production Team 100 3.3.1 Brea Fitzgerald, Stage Manager 100 3.3.2 Tatjana Longerot, Costume and Set Designer 100 3.3.3 Mark Bernhardt, Lighting Designer 101 3.3.4 Katie Whitlock, Sound Designer 102 3.4 Production Meetings 102 3.5 The Theatre: Mount Hall Studio Theatre 105

4. The Process 107

4.1 Challenges and Discoveries 107 4.1.1 Why Did I Write So Many Lines for Myself? 107 4.1.2 Robert Post: The Eye of a God 109 4.1.3 Blocking versus Staging 110 4.1.4 Trading Hats 112 4.2 Rehearsal Log 113 4.3 Acting Methodology 127 4.4 Key to Scoring Terms and Abbreviations 131 4.4.1 A Brief Overview ofMira Rostova's Twelve Doings 132 4.4.2 Script Notation Abbreviations 133 4.5 Scored Script 134

5. Evaluation and Conclusion 187

5.1 Performance 187 5.1.1 The Audience 187 5.1.2 The On-going Process 191 5.2 Post-Production 193 5.2.1 Post-Production Talk-Back: ActinglDirecting Area 193

Vlll 5.2.2 Post-Production Meeting: Production Team 194 5.3 The Future ofshe and Me 196 5.4 Happily Ever 197

Bibliography 199

Appendices A. Preliminary Estimated Budget for she 204 B. Production Expense Report 206 C. Production Photos 207

IX INTRODUCTION

Once upon a time, I created and performed in an original solo play about a girl

who became a woman, about a daughter who became a mother without turning into her

own mother while appreciating her mother's wisdom and mistakes, and did it all by living

the life ofa fairy tale heroine. The piece was called she. This was also the name ofthe

main character. She is a combination ofGretel, Red Riding Hood, Rapunzel, the Fairy

Godmother, the witch in the woods, the Evil Stepmother, Me, My Mother, My

Grandmother, and ultimately, the Goddess. she is an exploration ofthe sometimes

magical, sometimes torturous relationships that women have with their mothers, and the journey girls make in order to become women.

I created she as a result ofmy own journey as an artist and a woman, but with the

intention ofcreating something that was both personal and universal. I wanted to merge

my story with the stories that children have been told for centuries, and have become as

much a part ofthe collective unconscious as the ancient myths. I also wanted to re examine the tales that had helped to shape the dreams oflittle girls around the world, and

had in some cases given them a slightly skewed sense ofreality. Despite the feminist

revolution that has exploded in the late twentieth century, millions oflittle girls world

wide are told nightly that someday their prince will come, and that he will be the solution

1 to all their problems, and that they will live happily ever after.

But what ifthe real lessons ofthese ancient tales have been hidden under

promises ofprinces and happy endings? The heroines offairy tales in their original forms

were resourceful young women who, through learning from their mistakes and through

their innate cleverness, overcame obstacles without the help ofcharming princes,

although a fairy godmother's help was always a valuable commodity. The handsome

prince was a reward for the heroine's endeavors, not a solution to her problems.

It was my intention to create a connection between the fantasy world offairy tales

and the real world ofgrowing up. In fairy tales, young girls get lost in the woods and

encounter seductive wolves. In the real world, young girls get their first periods, develop

breasts, and are suddenly objects ofboys' attention. In fairy tales, young women are trapped in towers by possessive witches. In the real world, young women commit their

waking hours to graduate school partially to get away from their domineering mothers. In

fairy tales, middle aged women gaze into magic mirrors, searching for remnants oftheir

youth. In the real world, middle aged women gaze in mirrors and contemplate

liposuction. In fairy tales, old women are shoved into ovens by little children. In the real

world, old women struggle to connect with the children oftheir estranged daughters.

In she, She struggles to separate her identity from that ofher mother. After

revisiting stories from her own life, as well as from her mother's life, and by taking on the

role ofdifferent storytellers with a variety ofperspectives on the old fairy tales, She learns that she will always be connected to her mother and, that by recognizing that connection,

she takes ownership ofher own life. The story ofShe mirrors my own rite ofpassage as I

2 separated from my mother for the first time in order to become independent. Although the story is based in personal experience, by using fairy tales as a framework, She's story

is a universal one.

My goal in this project was not only to create a work that makes the personal

universal, but also to develop a style oftheatre in which the audience becomes as much a part ofthe storytelling as the performer. In a world where people are interacting more electronically than personally, live theatre has the potential ofcreating a unique communal experience for an audience that has become out oftouch with its fellow human

beings. I created she to include opportunities for the audience to participate in the event that they had partial responsibility in creating.

In this document, I discuss the process ofcreating, developing, and performing

she. The first chapter includes research on fairy tales, rites ofpassage, and experimental theatre styles, as well as sources ofinspiration as I began to form a concept for she.

Chapter Two discusses the process ofcreating a script, and includes my director's concept and excerpts from my writing journal as well as the final draftofthe script. The production circumstances for this project are detailed in Chapter Three, including a production time-line, and a description ofthe production team, production meetings, and the performance space. Chapter Four investigates discoveries made during the rehearsal process, summarizes the development ofmy acting methodology, and includes my rehearsal journal and scored script. The final chapter is an evaluation ofthe entire process, including the performance process and post-production conclusions, as well as a discussion ofthe future ofshe as a touring production and my own career as an independent artist.

3 CHAPTER 1

RESEARCH

The creation ofshe is the result ofa lifetime offascination with a variety of subjects, ranging from anthropology to modem fairy tale adaptation. In this chapter I will discuss how those factors culminated in beginning the process ofcreation. I will explore the sources ofinspiration for creating the piece, discuss the pre-production preparations I made, and conclude with the major sources ofresearch I have used in the creation process.

1.1 Sources ofInspiration

1.1.1 The Masks ofEternity

I have always been fascinated by storytelling. My first encounter with storytelling was early in my grade school years when a teacher gave me a Classical Mythology coloring book. Instead ofcoloring the pictures, I would act out the myths ofthe gods of

Greece and Rome within the privacy ofmy bedroom, playing all the roles, with my dolls featured as supporting characters. I immediately found a connection with the notion that these gods and goddesses were the embodiment ofabstract ideas: Aphrodite was the personification ofLove and Beauty, Pan put a human (well, half-human/half-goat), face

4 to Mischiefand Fun. Though I did not take the myths literally, for example, I did not

believe the reason why it was cold in winter was because Demeter was mourning for the

loss ofher daughter Persephone, I did think the myths made the world full ofpossibilities.

I also knew that people did not believe in these myths anymore, that they were no more relevant to everyday life than the fairy tales in my Mother Goose book, and that made me wish I could live in a society where myths were a central part ofits culture, because that meant I could act out the myths with other people instead ofin the privacy ofmy bedroom.

I should also mention that as I was growing up, fairy tales bored me. The myths I acted out in my room were part ofone great big story, with recurring characters that

shaped the world in what seemed to be a never-ending adventure. With fairy tales, as

soon as the words "happily ever after" were uttered, that was the end ofthe story. Snow

White never had a contest with Sleeping Beauty to see who could sleep the longest. The

wolfin "Little Red Riding Hood" was a different wolffrom the one in "The Three Little

Pigs". The fairy tales all seemed so compact, so convenient, and so darned preachy that I never connected with them enough to want to live them as I did with my myths.

As an undergraduate at Towson University I discovered more myths in my

anthropology and ancient history courses. I also made a very important discovery: it

seemed like every single culture in the world basically had the same gods and goddesses;

only the names ofthe gods and the people who worship them differ. Later I found a

quote in Joseph Campbell's The Power ofMyth: "It's as though the same play were

taken from one place to another, and at each place the local players put on local costumes to enact the same old play" (38). The discovery I made in those classes touched a chord

5 deep within my spiritual philosophy that I sensed but could not prove: human beings are all connected by a resonant truth that goes beyond language and culture.

In my senior year at Towson University, I enrolled in a folklore course, mainly because I was interested in the folklore ofother cultures. However, as we began to study the old familiar Western tales collected by the Brothers Grimm and Charles Perrault, I made yet another discovery: the fairy tales that I had grown up with were actually the distant cousins ofthe ancient myths. Each character in these fairy tales, the ones I had been convinced were unrelated, could be traced to the gods and goddesses, and in essence, the wolfin "Little Red Riding Hood" was the wolfin "The Three Little Pigs" because he was originally the Trickster, or in Greco-Roman mythology, Pan. Not only did this discovery make fairy tales interesting to me again, but I also felt an urgent need to express this discovery; to show people that a fairy tale is not just a fairy tale, it is a link to that truth, that Joseph Campbell terms in The Power ofMyth ''the mask ofeternity"

(xvii). As one might guess, Joseph Campbell's writings have been a major resource for me, and I will discuss his work further, as well as the work ofother folklore and anthropological scholars later in this chapter.

1.1.2 Experimental Theatre

The same semester I was taking the folklore course I was also taking a Theories in

Theatre course as a requirement for my major. It was in this class that I was introduced to the writings ofthe Antonin Artaud, Peter Brook, and Judith Malina, among other modern theatre artists who are influential to the experimental and avant-garde theatre movement.

Although Towson University's graduate theatre program focused on the creation ofnew

6 work, as an undergraduate I had never been exposed to the theories behind experimental theatre until this course. The ideas behind the artists that I studied in my theories class, especially the notion ofbreaking the fourth wall, synchronized beautifully with the discoveries I was making in my Folklore class. Ifan audience can find a connection to a performance beyond the voyeuristic level that mainstream theatre usually demands, perhaps the artist can highlight that human-to-human connection that I was discovering through my studies ofmythology and folklore. And perhaps that recognition ofthe connection can ultimately create a global community. Judith Malina ofthe Living

Theatre expresses a dissatisfaction with the fourth-wall convention that parallels this idea:

We are the creators in an art where every night hundreds ofpeople are ignored, a pretense is made that they do not exist; and then we wonder that the actor has grown apart from society; and then we wonder that art itself staggers lamely behind its hope ofbeing part oflife. (qtd. in Drain, 275)

During Spring Break ofmy senior year I saw The Blue Man Group perform at

Boston's Charles Theatre. Although the production, Tubes, was a satire ofthe pretension that can be found in the performance art and experimental theatre scene, the structure ofthe performance was a wonderful example ofthe power that theatre can have ifits artists reach out beyond the fourth wall and interact with the audience. The audience members were immediately engaged with participation techniques such as electronic signs instructing them to focus on each other and to read aloud. Later in the performance, individuals from the audience were taken on stage to assist the Blue Men in their performance art, acting as human paint brushes. As a finale, the entire audience was responsible for passing a toilet-paper-like confetti throughout the performance space, thus the finale was in their hands. We were just as responsible for the experience as the

7 performers, and therefore a small community was made. It is important to note that even though the Blue Man characters started out as literal aliens to the world in which the audience lived, by the end ofthe performance, the Blue Men were central to our community. Thus, Malina's challenge to incorporate the artist back into the world was accepted by The Blue Man Group, and they succeeded. As I walked away from the theatre, there was a sense ofcomradery between the audience members that had not been there before, although we did not know anything about each other except that we had all had been an essential part ofthat theatrical experience. I knew that I wanted to create that type ofexperience: one in which a community is created within the theatre space, and hopefully will continue into the world outside the performance,

I have been extremely fortunate in having been exposed to a variety of experimental theatre artists while studying in the graduate theatre program at The Ohio

State University (OSU). In my first quarter, I was able to visit a large exhibit on the work ofJulie Taymor, whose production ofThe Lion King I saw in New York, and whose use

ofmulti-cultural theatre conventions continues to inspire me. I was also introduced to

SIn Company's work via the world premiere ofCabin Pressure at the Wexner Center.

Cabin Pressure addressed the issues ofthe relationship between the performer and the

audience by not only using text based on interviews with previous audience members, but also by having the audience members in full view ofeach other, being made to be aware

oftheir presence within the performance space, and therefore acknowledging that their role is as important as that ofthe performers, Seeing Cabin Pressure within my first month ofgraduate school reaffirmed my resolve to create theatre that focused upon the

audience as a participant in the theatrical experience.

8 Another artist whose work has inspired me is Daniel MacIvor, ofDaDa Kamera.

MacIvor usually writes and performs his own work, and the pieces he writes tend to be in the form ofa one-person show. In Spring Quarter ofmy first year, I saw Monster, written and performed by Daniel MacIvor, at the Wexner Center. Not only did the subject matter, an exploration ofaddiction and violence in modem society intrigue me, but the structure ofhis writing showed me that a story can be told in a non-linear way, and can perhaps be more dynamic to an audience.

In Monster, the audience does not realize that the narrator, Adam, is, in fact, the central character until the very end. This is because MacIvor uses a method, which he terms "looping," in which, within what at first seem to be non-related monologues by seemingly random characters, imagery, names, phrases and speech mannerisms are repeated until it is made clear to the audience that what appears to be unconnected are indeed deeply intertwined.

An example ofan image from Monster that was "looped" is the mention ofthe song "Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head" by three different characters in three different sections ofthe play, either by naming the song, or humming the tune. The repeated reference to the song encourages the audience to question its relevance to the story. The audience ultimately discovers that "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head" was playing repeatedly on the record player during the central event ofthe play: a brutal patricide committed by Adam, the narrator, and the characters who had made reference to the song were Adam's mother, father, and neighbor. Thus a subtle connection is made, but the audience must figure out exactly what the connection is. Looping is somewhat similar to the improvisational technique ofthe Harold, developed by Keith Johnstone, in

9 which unrelated situations in an improvisation are tied together by one theme. The theme can be a word, a phrase, a situation, a character or a world event.

In both looping and in the Harold, the audience is taken on a strange journey that keeps revisiting similar territory, but is seen through a different light. During Monster, I found that I was challenged as an audience member; I was made to keep my eyes open and to truly listen to what was happening on-stage in order to be able to comprehend the artist's message, ifthere was one. This "waking up" ofthe audience was not a negative experience. We were not alienated. Instead were we cast in the role ofdetective, picking up clues, and by the end, a wonderful mystery was solved.

When MacIvor came back to Ohio State University for an extended residency where he workshopped a new piece, I discovered that Maclvor begins writing his script as a linear story with a beginning, middle, and end, and only after he has finished writing does he de-construct the piece. This technique oflooping is something that I wanted to utilize in the writing ofmy script for she, the process ofwhich I will discuss later.

In this section I have tracked my journey to the point ofcreation: as a result ofmy personal, artistic, and academic connections to folklore and modern experimental theatre,

I discovered that I wanted to create an experimental theatre piece that engages the audience beyond a voyeuristic level, using mythology and folklore to explore universal connections that human beings have to one another.

1.2 Pre-Production

The Ohio State University Department ofTheatre's Masters ofFine Arts program has been the incubation chamber for the creation ofshe. The eclectic nature ofthe

10 training program has exposed me to a wide range ofstyles, techniques, and tools that have collectively contributed to my own creative process.

1.2.1 The Independent Track

The Graduate Acting program at the Ohio State University is divided into two academic tracks: the Ensemble Track and the Independent Track. While the Ensemble

Track follows the traditional conservatory actor training model, the Independent Track focuses on training the actor not only as a performer, but also as a creator ofnew works.

The Independent Track was the catalyst for the formation ofmy creative process.

1.2.2 Research Methods

I suppose the pre-production phase ofshe began at the end ofmy first quarter of graduate school. The idea for a theatre piece incorporating the themes offolklore and rites ofpassage had been germinating within my imagination ever since I knew that I would be on the Independent Track at OSU, but I was not able to articulate my original vision until Nena Couch's Research Methods class, in which we were given an assignment to write a hypothetical abstract for our thesis. I was forced to put my ideas down in some sort ofconcrete form. However, at the time, it was still a hypothetical idea:

I was not committed to creating the piece, but I liked the idea ofit.

1.2.3 Movement Training

As I continued my graduate acting training, I was exposed to a variety of movement techniques, ranging from Laban to Suzuki. My teacher and advisor, Jeanine

11 Thompson, encouraged my class to not only learn the techniques, but also to take ownership ofeach technique by creating original movement pieces, utilizing the skills we have learned, at the end ofeach quarter. These projects helped me to flex my creative muscles, and they also forced me to take a hard look at what aspects oftheatre creation interest me. I also found myselfweaving aspects ofprevious techniques learned with whatever techniques I was studying at the time. In Jeanine's Viewpoints and

Composition classes, I experimented with different forms ofaudience-focused theatre. In her Suzuki and Mime classes, I focused on telling a story using whole-body gesture and minimal text. Although I did not necessarily use the subject matter ofshe in any ofmy projects, I found that I gravitated towards certain approaches to creating theatre which prepared me to create my own full-length piece.

1.2.4 New Works Lab

In addition to creating original works in Jeanine's studio classes, I was also encouraged to focus my creative vision in Dr. Joy Reilly's New Works Lab. In this class, using The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron as a guide, we were told to write and write, and even ifwe did not think we had anything interesting to say, to keep writing. Each class would begin with about ten minutes ofstream-of-consciousness writing in our journals.

Although I have always written stories and poems, I had never had much confidence in my skills as a playwright. By letting go ofmy inhibitions and tendency to judge my words before they were on the paper, I was able to fmd a new pride in the words that I had within me. Some ofthe most vivid imagery I have ever written was during those ten-

12 minute sessions as in Research Methods, I was forced to give a concrete form to my ideas. It was in New Works Lab that I began writing the script for she.

1.2.5 9th Annual Myth and Tbeatre Festival- New Orleans

Thanks to the generosity ofthe Theatre Department, I was awarded a grant to go to New Orleans for five days in order to attend the 9th Annual Myth and Theatre Festival, hosted by a collaboration between PanTheatre ofParis, Tulane and Loyola Universities. I went to the festival not only to network with theatre professionals from around the world, but also to research the use ofmythic themes in theatre. Also featured as part ofthe festival were a series oflectures given by Jungian psychoanalysts on the nature of archetypes in myths, which was also a focus in my research.

Unfortunately, the use ofvocabulary in the lectures went beyond my limited knowledge ofpsychology, but I gleaned as much as I could from the scholars, and I will give details later in this chapter. However, I benefitted greatly from observing the work ofsome ofthe artists who presented their work at the festival, because it helped me further define myselfas an artist, including what sort ofwork I wanted to do, as well as what sort I definitely did not want to do.

An example ofthis was a night ofperformance art presented by the Contemporary

Arts Collective. Within one night, I witnessed a great range in style and subject matter, all pieces performed by local New Orleans artists, and all having to do with mythology in some way. The first piece was by a Latino performance artist who concentrated on the tension between traditional religion (such as Hindu, Buddhism, Catholicism, or shamanism), and American society's worship ofall things corporate. His work was

13 funny, fresh, and deep, and used a range ofconventions such as a satirical ritual and a gestural dance piece. Immediately following his piece, was rather self-indulgent piece by a female performance artist who, while cutting her abdomen with a razor blade, performed a physical theatre piece linking the story ofClytemnestra with issues surrounding abortion. Although both pieces were valid forms oftheatre, they were at opposite ends ofa spectrum, and I found myselfsiding against the latter. My favorite piece ofthe evening was a one-woman-show performed by Kathy Randels, a journey which followed her travels in Central Europe at the time ofNATO's air strike on

Yugoslavia. The structure followed that ofHomer's The Odyssey, where the audience was cast as the hero, and we encountered various characters throughout her travels that mirrored those in Homer. Seeing Kathy Randels' work gave me confidence in my own work and ideas.

Another resource at the Festival, was the opportunity to observe a commedia dell'arte workshop conducted by Joan Schirle ofthe Dell'Arte International School of

Physical Theatre. The workshop focused mainly on mask work, and inspired me to explore the use ofmasks in she. The work with masks also helped actors to sharpen their acting skills. The exercises in the workshop focused on sustaining attention, breath impulse, finding character idiosyncracies, discovering the use ofessential movement, and specifying movement choices. I used the knowledge gained from observing the workshop not only in my creation process, but also will continue to use it in my process as an actor.

14 1.2.6 Independent Study

At the end ofmy second year, my advisor, Jeanine Thompson, informed me that I would be creating an Independent Study Project ofmy choosing, as long as it related in some way to my thesis project. Here is the proposal for that project:

Proposal for Spring Quarter Independent Study

Allyson Rosen

Advisor: Jeanine Thompson

For my independent study for the Spring, 2001 quarter, I plan on creating a series ofsolo movement pieces that will possibly serve as transition pieces for my thesis production. The movement pieces will focus upon initiation rituals women must perform in various cultures, from Western traditions to African, Asian and aboriginal ceremonies.

The movement pieces will also explore how fairy tale imagery in popular Grimm's fairy tales (i.e, Red Riding Hood, Cinderella, Rapunzel, and Snow White) reflects these rites of passage. I will be using anthropological sources for my research ofinitiation rituals, such as filmed documentation, and various ethnographies written by anthropologists. I have already begun research on fairy tale interpretations, using a variety ofsources from

Joseph Campbell's work to recent discussions on a folklore and fairy tale Internet message board.

Ideally, I would like this project to be a collaborative effort. As I begin choreographing the pieces, I will need an outside eye to help clarify my choices and to

15 suggest imagery that I perhaps have overlooked. I originally invited Katie Whitlock and

Briggs Cormier to serve as collaborators, but their schedules did not permit them to participate. Fortunately, Naomi Hatsfelt has volunteered to work on this project with me during the rehearsal process. Although I plan on this project being a solo piece, I would like my colleague's input to be as much a part ofthe project as my own research. We will meet on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 12:00 p.m. over three weeks, (May 14- 31). The final presentation ofthis project will be a showing on June 5th at 4 pm. In room 107 ofDrake

Union.

My Independent Project, entitled "Transitions," was successful in fulfilling its goals: I created five movement pieces focusing on some of the major transitions ofa woman's life (birth, menarche, marriage, menopause, and death), using fairy tale imagery as a central theme. The project also kick-started the in-depth research phase ofmy thesis project. I read ethnographic accounts ofwomen's rites ofpassage ceremonies, scholarly analyses ofthe phases ofrites ofpassage, as well as feminist criticism regarding fairy tales and rites ofpassage. In addition to initiating the research for the project, creating the movement pieces helped me to define an aesthetic style for the piece. My music choices for the transition pieces ran the spectrum ofmusic styles, from the traditional/tribal music ofDead Can Dance to the gritty electric guitar ofSantana to the electronica music of

Bjork. The unifying sound in the music was a strong presence ofalmost tribal rhythm and a tendency for the artists to use their voices as instruments, with minimal lyrics. The creation process of"Transitions" helped me to define and invest in two ofthe roles I would be playing on my thesis project: those ofthe creator and the researcher.

16 1.2.7 Actor Training

Finally, the most all-encompassing factor in my pre-production process has been my continuing studies as an actor. Under the tutelage ofAssociate Professor Sue Ott

Rowlands, Assistant Professor Bruce Hermann, Associate Professor Jeanine Thompson,

Associate Professor Phil Thompson, and a variety ofguest artists, I have begun to carve out my own process as an actor/creator. In the past three years ofgraduate training, I have discovered my strengths, confronted my weaknesses, and will continue to explore acting challenges in a pro-active and determined fashion. It is my hope that in the performance ofshe, as well as all future performances, I will "get out ofmy own way," live from moment to unanticipated moment and continue to make discoveries, as my teachers have instructed.

1.3 Major Sources of Research

In this section, I will attempt the monumental task ofcompiling and reporting the findings ofthe major sources ofresearch that I have discovered as part ofthe creation process ofshe. Please keep in mind that, in essence, my research process began in the first grade when I was presented with a previously mentioned Classical Mythology coloring book. However, I will list those sources that are more traditional, and also more recent.

17 1.3.1 Fairy Tales and Fairy Tale Adaptations

Fairy tales date as far back as Plato, who, in the Gorgias "refers disparagingly to the kind oftale---mythos graos, the old wive's tale-told by nurses to amuse and frighten children." (Warner, 14).

This is the definition ofa fairy tale, according to the online version of The

American Heritage Dictionary ofthe English Language:

fairy tale n. 1. A fanciful tale oflegendary deeds and creatures, usually intended for children. 2. A fictitious, highly fanciful story or explanation. (Internet Source F)

It is interesting to note that the editors ofthe dictionary found it necessary to add

"usually intended for children" instead of"usually told by women to children" in the primary definition. Since the nineteenth century, collections offairy tales have been published primarily as children's literature, but the original form ofthe fairy tale was an oral tale, told chiefly by women to the younger generation, while they performed domestic activities such as spinning or cooking. The phrase "to spin a tale" comes from a practical source. In fact, connections have been made between the fairy tales told by women at spinning wheels, to ancient myths ofthe Fates, who spin the past, present and future ofa person's life on their spindle, and who often counsel the hero. "These classical Fates metamorphose into the fairies ofthe stories, where they continue their fateful and prophetic roles. But fairy tales themselves also fulfil this function, quite apart from the fairies who mayor may not make an appearance: 'Bluebeard' and 'Beauty and the Beast' act to caution listeners, as well as light their path to the future." (Warner 15)

18 Outsiders to these household storytelling sessions often mistook the weaving of tales for gossiping, which in Medieval Europe, was considered sinful. "The influence of

Christianity had threatened to halt the handing down ofthese old tales, which were associated with paganism, witchcraft, or 'the wagging tongues ofwomen' (at a time when

silence was considered to be one ofthe chiefwomanly virtues). Yet the telling ofwonder tales was a practice that proved as impossible to extinguish as women's gossip"

(Windling and Datlow 2).

By the Renaissance, the fairy tale had made its way to the written page, via Italian authors such as Basile and Straposa as well as such Elizabethan English writers as

Shakespeare and Spenser. These literary forms ofthe tales were not the watered-down versions intended for children today. The Italian tales, for instance, tended to be on the erotic side, and thanks to the growing popularity ofpublished material other than religious tracts, imaginations were titillated throughout Europe.

The largest producer ofpublished fairy tales in Europe by the seventeenth century was France. "The salons ofthe French aristocracy (where women had considerable presence and influence) proved a fertile ground for literate, fanciful, and (under the innocent magical trappings) rather subversive tales." (Windling and Datlow 3). It was in the French salons that writer Charles Perrault, collected the stories, or conte de fee, that are the origins ofwhat are now known as "Cinderella," "Sleeping Beauty," and "Little

Red Riding Hood." Perrault was one writer among many to collect the conte de fee, and it is worth noting that many ofthe female writers, such as Marie-Catherine D'Aunloy and

Henriette-Julie de Murat maintained a "distinctly feminist subtext" (Windling and Datlow

3) in the published versions ofthe original tales, while Perrault, who became one ofthe

19 most popular writers ofthat period, infused his versions ofthe tales with a prudish morality, often ending each tale with a moralite, a short poem summarizing what a child should learn from the tale.

An example ofhow fairy tales transform, depending on the teller, is the evolution of "Little Red Riding Hood" from oral folk tale (or, some believe, ancient myth) to the form we know today. In his book, The Trials and Tribulations ofLittle Red Riding Hood,

Jack Zipes studies the social context ofthe telling and retelling ofa classic fairy tale and tracks how the tale transforms through time. We learn from Zipes that some scholars believe that the tale, in its original form, was a myth about the rising and setting ofthe sun. "The red garment ofLittle Red Riding Hood was associated with the sun, and the wolfwas considered to be the personification ofdarkness." (Zipes, TTLRH, 18) Later, the tale became a cautionary tale to youngsters, such as the one we know today, but with a more violent and sexual flavor, and a self-sufficient heroine. One such version was recorded by Paul Delarue in Nievre, a small village in France, where attacks by wolves were one ofthe many dangers ofliving in the country. In this version, the wolftricks the little girl into eating the flesh and drinking the blood ofher grandmother, and instructs her to undress and throw her clothing into the fire before climbing into bed with him. When the little girl tries to get away from the wolfby saying she has to urinate, he tells her to relieve herselfin the bed. Eventually the girl tricks the wolf, and escapes unassisted by anything but her wit.

Perrault's moralized version of "Little Red Riding Hood" is an example ofthe white-washing fairy tales would receive in our own century, referred to by Zipes as

"Disneyfication.". In the Perrault version, which is the most familiar version to modem

20 Westerners other than the Grimms' "Little Red Cap," the little girl is totally helpless and somewhat spoiled and is devoured by the wolfbefore she is given a chance to change.

"Whereas the oral tale referred directly to actual conditions in the country faced by peasants and villagers, Perrault's literary version assumed a more general aspect. It talked about vanity, power, and seduction, and introduced a new child, the helpless girl, who subconsciously contributed to her own rape" (Zipes, 27).

Although Perrault's version ofthe story was less grotesque than the oral version told in Nievre, the nineteenth century sensibility ofthe Brothers Grimm found the tale

"too cruel, too sexual and too tragic" (Zipes 32). The Grimms published version of

"Little Red Cap" was diluted even more, giving their heroine the ideal Victorian qualities ofinnocence and passivity. Like the Perrault version, the little girl stumbles into the wolfs trap because she disobeys her mother and is punished, but the Grimms' tale is given a happy ending by inserting the character ofthe hunter, who saves both the grandmother and the little girl. "Clearly, what had been a frank oral tale about sexuality and actual dangers in the woods became, by the time the Grimms finished civilizing and refining Little Red Cap, a coded message about rationalizing bodies and sex. Open sexual games and encounters were frowned upon throughout the 19h century. Hence, disciplinary measures had to be taken against all the Little Red Riding Hoods and Little

Red Caps ofthe world." (Zipes 34).

The original oral versions ofthe fairy tales may have been diluted throughout the centuries, but they have not been forgotten. Throughout the twentieth century, writers began to adapt the children's versions ofthe tales to reflect the social conditions ofthe modern world. Writers also reclaimed the original versions by highlighting their sexual

21 aspects. Again using the story ofLittle Red Riding Hood as inspiration, Angela Carter wrote The Company ofthe Wolves, where the heroine's sexuality and sense ofselfsaves her from the jaws ofthe wolf. It is this modern heroine ofadapted fairy tales who has her roots in ancient oral tale, the powerful and intelligent maiden who defends herselfagainst the beast, that is the basis for the title character in she.

1.3.2 The Archetypes

Carl lung's theory ofthe Collective Unconscious, that is, "a form ofthe unconscious (that part ofthe mind containing memories and impulses ofwhich the individual is not aware) common to mankind as a whole" (Internet Source J), lies at the heart ofthe creation process ofshe. The characters in she, especially She herself, are expressions ofthe archetypal images, or "primordial image[s], character[s], or pattern of circumstance[s]" (Internet Source C) that surface infinitely in folklore and mythology and, according to lung, originate in the Collective Unconscious. The principal archetypes in she are as follows:

• The Shadow- According to lung, the Shadow archetype is the expression

ofthe destructive and chaotic nature that is inherent in all human beings.

Indeed, the tendency toward chaos is inherent in all ofnature-everything

is destructible, and there must be chaos to create order out of. In

mythology, the Shadow is expressed as gods and goddesses ofdeath and

chaos such as the Babylonian goddess Tiamat, who came in the form ofa

tempestuous sea and who both created and destroyed. Images ofthe

Shadow occur repeatedly in she: old women are stuffed in ovens, wolves

22 are butchered, relationships are severed, and children are victims of

attempted murder. However, the Shadow is not necessarily an expression

ofEvil, only an expression ofNature. In she, as well as in most fairy tales,

the characters venture into the wilderness and have potentially fatal

experiences there, but their experiences shape who they are so they can

move on to the next phase oftheir lives. Another image ofthe Shadow is

the (Step)Mother, who experiences the full brunt ofNature when she

realizes that she is losing her beauty and is becoming a Crone. The

(Step)Mother attempts to destroy what she has created, her own daughter,

in order to protect the girl from Nature, but Nature, the ultimate Shadow,

will prevail, as it always does.

• The Child- The Jungian archetype ofthe child is "a pattern related to the

hope and promise ofnew beginnings" (Internet Source A). In Greek

mythology, Pandora might be considered an expression ofthe Child

archetype: Through innocent curiosity, Pandora accidentally unleashes sin

and disease and suffering upon the world, but she also introduces hope.

In she, all ofthe characters are starting over again, or trying too, and trying

to erase the mistakes ofthe past by taking what they think are new paths

through life. In each phase ofher life, She is reborn with the hope ofnew

beginnings. I have also cast the audience in the role ofthe Child- each

story being told to them is the potential for new beginnings, and they have

the potential to create new beginnings after leaving the performance.

23 • The Mother- The Mother archetype is multi-faceted: it is the part ofour

personality that has the potential for compassion, nurturing, and

protection, even to the point ofsacrificing one's own life for the safety ofa

loved one. The Mother archetype is represented by the prehistoric earth

goddess and also by the Virgin Mary. The character ofthe Fairy

Godmother is an expression ofthe positive aspect ofthe Mother archetype.

However, the darker side ofthe Mother archetype is ''the Smotherer, the

part that wants to maintain indefinitely the symbiotic state experienced by

mother and child."(Intemet Source B) The character ofMa, who is based

loosely on the witch in "Rapunzel," is primarily a Smotherer, but who still

knows that it is time to let her daughter grow up. The negative aspect of

the Mother archetype has the potential to transform the Mother into the

Shadow, devouring that which it has created in order to keep things in

stasis. The (Step)Mother is a reflection ofthe Shadow Mother. She

attempts to destroy her daughter because she cannot accept that her

daughter is growing up, and that She is growing old.

• The Maiden- The Maiden can also be called the Anima. She is the

embodiment offeminine potential. Like the Child, the Maiden is an

expression ofpossibilities. However, the Maiden's possibilities tend

toward the more sensual side, whereas the child is the possibility for life

experience. In the Bible, before eating from the Tree ofKnowledge, Eve is

an expression ofthe Child archetype. However, after she is convinced by

the Snake, Eve becomes a Maiden archetype, because she has become

24 aware ofher sexual potential. The Maiden archetype is not only based on

the sexual aspect ofbeing female, however: the Maiden is also the

expression ofthe intuitiveness, empathy, self-sufficiency, and

resourcefulness associated with women. In she, the character based on

Little Red Riding Hood, a pubescent girl who fantasizes about her dark

lover in her walks through the woods, is an expression ofthe Maiden. The

Maiden is also reflected by the Rapunzel character, who is struggling to

become independent ofher mother.

• The Trickster/Crone- In archetypal theory, these two archetypes, the

Trickster and the Crone tend to be separate aspects ofthe personality: the

Trickster archetype represents a potential for mischiefand fun, while the

Crone archetype tends to be the expression ofwisdom and knowledge.

However throughout mythology and folklore, the Trickster and the Crone

can sometimes merge as one personality- a wise, world weary sage who

teaches people he/she encounters through jokes and mischief. Baubo, a

mischievous hag ofGreek mythology is one such Trickster/Crone: after

Demeter lost her daughter Persephone to Hades, King ofthe Underworld,

and mourned so deeply that all living things began to shrivel up and die,

Baubo danced for the goddess in a ridiculously suggestive way and told

Demeter dirty jokes through her vulva. The mourning goddess broke into

laughter and the world thrived again. Through the Trickster/Crone,

wisdom is passed to the younger generation as humor and storytelling. In

she, the Trickster/Crone is represented not only by a mischievous crone

25 character, but also by the structure ofthe play: by using a looping

technique, the audience is tricked into learning a piece ofwisdom that I, as

the storyteller, am sharing with them.

1.3.3 Rites ofPassage

Joseph Campbell refers to fairy tales and folklore as a way through which ''the young person is brought into the society and is taught" (Campbell, 59). A rite ofpassage is also a form ofteaching a young person her role in a society. Like a character in a fairy tale, the initiate ofa rite ofpassage is separated from her society, experiences an alternate reality, and returns to society in a new role. As mentioned earlier in this chapter, I created a series ofmovement pieces reflecting the parallels between fairy tales and rites of passage rituals, some ofwhich were used in she. In this section I will discuss the information I have gathered on rites ofpassage rituals and how they relate to fairy tales.

In 1909, Arthur van Gennep coined the phrase rites depassageafter studying the function ofritual in preliterate and literate societies. According to the online version of the Encyclopedia Britannic~ the definition ofa rite ofpassage is "a ceremonial event, existing in all historically known societies, that marks the passage from one social or religious status to another" (Internet Source E). These are ceremonies that mark life changing events, such as child-birth, puberty, marriage, maturity and death. The function ofthese ceremonies is to provide society with a means by which to guide people "without social disruption, through the difficulties oftransition from one social role to another"

(Internet Source E).

26 Van Gennep found that these events tended to divide into three phases: the separation stage, where the initiate is symbolically cut offfrom her society and, consequently, from her social role; the liminal or threshold stage, in which the initiate exists in a totally symbolic state without a societal role and undergoes a ceremonial task in order to prepare for her new status; and the reincorporation stage, where the initiate is reintroduced to her community in her new social identity.

Storytelling has a central role in many rites ofpassage. According to Marina

Warner, "When boys and girls ofAthens were about to embark for Crete[...]old women are described [in Plato's Gorgias] coming down to the port to tell them stories, to distract them from their grief' (14). Storytelling is not only a form ofentertainment and distraction, however. During the liminal stage ofthe rites, many initiates are told stories or made to reenact myths that parallel their own experiences. The Mescalero Apache girls' puberty ceremony is a four-day-long ritual drama in which the entire community participates, playing the roles ofgods and other characters as they recount their tribal history from creation.

Ifstorytelling is a key part ofrites ofpassage ceremonies, fairy tales are literal expressions ofthe symbolic transformation ofthe initiates. We can examine the plots of the fairy tales in relationship to van Gennep's model. In most fairy tales, the hero or heroine often leaves his or her home (separation), has a magical or supernatural experience (liminal), and returns or moves on with his or her life with a completely new status(reincorporation). An example ofsuch a rite-of-passage tale is the story ofHansel and Gretel, which is one ofthe stories used in the creation ofshe. In the story, despite

Hansel's numerous attempts to return, the siblings are abandoned in the woods by their

27 poor parents (a practice symbolically done to children in puberty ceremonies around the world), and they have a magical encounter in the woods and confront a witch. It is interesting to note that in most versions ofthe story it is Gretel, the younger girl sibling, who shoves the witch in the oven and saves her brother. Gretel has more ofa transformation than Hansel: when the children return from the woods, Gretel has the new magical power to charm a duck into carrying them across the river homeward. When the children return, they have pockets full ofriches and their transformation in the woods transforms their entire family from poor to rich. Fairy tales are about transformation; frogs transform into princes and abused stepdaughters become princesses. It is the liminal phase ofrites ofpassage in which the most symbolic ofevents occur, and it is the adventures in the woods in fairy tales where the most magic is experienced. It is this liminal area, the place between "Once Upon a Time" and "Happily Ever After," that is the setting for she.

The forms ofrites ofpassage can range anywhere from the physically traumatic

Tikopian puberty rites ofthe South Pacific, in which the male initiate's penis is superincised in order to physically transform the initiate from boy to man, to the simplicity ofthe !Kung death ritual ofthe Kalahari Desert, in which the body ofthe deceased is buried away from the village, and aromatic powder is blown into the air by the mourners to create a path for the deceased to follow to the spirit world. Because these rites are profoundly symbolic to each society to which they belong in ways that, as an outsider, I could not comprehend, I chose not to focus on specific ceremonies as the foundation for which my movement pieces were based. Instead, I created rituals using van Gennep's model ofseparation, liminality, and reincorporation as well as imagery

28 from fairy tales and the archetypes that expressed the transformations that She has throughout her life: from Child to Maiden, from Maiden to Matron, from Matron to

Crone, from Crone to Spirit, from Spirit back to Child.

The creation ofthis project has become my own initiatory process: by telling the story ofa maid who transforms into a goddess, I am transforming from a student to creator. At the same time, by witnessing this transformation, the audience ofthe performance will transform from passive listeners into storytellers because, hopefully, they will pass the story on after they leave the performance space. I truly believe that storytelling can bring a community together in ways that other popular forms of entertainment (i.e. television, cinema, etc.) cannot: the audience must have an active role in the performance to fully appreciate the art form, and to be changed by it. Again, I quote Joseph Campbell who eloquently describes the role ofthe artist: "Myth must be kept alive. The people who can keep it alive are the artists ofone kind or another. The function ofthe artist is the mythologization ofthe environment and the world."

29 CHAPTER 2

THE WRITING PROCESS

As I stated in the previous chapter, I came into the writing process for she as a self-conscious and timid writer. Besides writing a fifteen-minute solo performance for a class project as an undergraduate, I had no experience as a playwright. My lack of confidence was a major obstacle to overcome, but once I overcame it, words I never knew

I had within me poured forth in a kind ofcreative deluge. In this chapter I will summarize the journey the script ofshe made from an original concept to its final version.

I will also include major journal entries that were landmarks ofmy discoveries as a writer. The chapter will conclude with the final version ofthe script.

2.1 From Concept to Concrete

The writing process ofshe was a very gradual one that took almost two years of assemblage before its final version. I had planned to write a piece that was the biography ofa fairy tale heroine-turned-goddess, in the same style as VHI's Behind the Music or

A&E's Biography; a kind ofsensationalist life history ofa fictional character in which a series ofinterviewees recount stories ofa person's life. I wanted to use stories that most ofmy audience would already know (thus the fairy tales came into play), and at the same

30 time intertwine stories from my own life experience such as family legends and childhood memories. Needless to say, what I had planned to write and what I eventually did write were not necessarily the same thing.

2.1.1Irthe Slipper Fits..•

The first thing I did was try to find a way ofcorrelating the plots and images of popular Western fairy tales with major rite-of-passage events that women experience.

This task was easy, because the evidence ofthe relationship between rites ofpassage and fairy tales appeared frequently in folklore scholarship. Almost every fairy tale ends with marriage, which is a rite ofpassage. Through research, I discovered that the "Little Red

Riding Hood" tale is often interpreted as a young girl's loss ofvirginity; yet another rite ofpassage. I had always personally interpreted the Evil Queen in "Snow White" as a woman experiencing the negative affects ofmenopause, which was also a rite ofpassage for women. By matching images from fairy tales with rites ofpassage, I also was able to find ways ofincluding "Hansel and Gretel," "Cinderella," and "Rapunzel" within the frame work ofmy concept.

2.1.2 Voice? You Mean I Need a Voice?

The next step proved to be a bit more difficult. I began to write monologues that re-told the fairy tales from the point ofview ofeyewitnesses to the events ofthe tales. I chose to write the monologues in no particular order, since I was planning to use a non linear structure for the entire piece. However, as I wrote monologues, I discovered that I had to decide exactly who was telling the story, and what his/her relationship was to the

31 tale. For example,the first monologue I wrote was the story of"Hansel and Gretel," told by a now-grown-up school mate ofGretel's. The tale is told as though the woman was re telling a school yard rumor ofGretel's disappearance. The next monologue I wrote was my interpretation of"Little Red Riding Hood," told from the point ofview ofa child psychologist who treated Little Red Riding Hood after she was attacked by the wolf. I also wrote a monologuerecountingCinderella's story told by a gardener who tended the

Step-mother's garden and was a good friend ofCinderella before she married the prince.

However, when I presented the monologues to Dr. Joy Reilly's New Works Lab class, the generalconsensus was that all the characters sounded very similar, and the audience had difficultyunderstandingthat these were three different characters. My classmates assured me that this was not an acting problem: I simplyhad not found my characters' voices yet.

As I continued writing and revising, I discovered that what would help to clarify each character is to diversifythem, and to make the most ofthe research on archetypes I had done. I rewrote the Gretel monologue, and instead ofa grown-uptelling the tale, the storytelleris a personificationofthe Child archetype: a school girl who does not quite fit in. Later I added to the monologueso that two aspects ofthe Child are presented: in the beginningofthe monologue, a bratty sulkyNew Girl in the principal's office tells the tale ofan innocent, awkwardNard (in She's world, "nard" is a slang word for an unpopular person, much like "nerd" or "dork"), who tells the New Girl the tale ofGretel. I edited the "Little Red Riding Hood" monologueso that the child psychiatristis the personification of the Trickster archetype(and also a reflection ofthe wolfin the tale): an imperiousgossip who feeds off the secrets ofothers. I added an archetypal Crone prologue in which a hooded Crone gives magical apples to the audience and tells them

32 that they must take a bite in order for the story to begin. I eventually decided to discard the Cinderella monologue, for reasons I will discuss later in this chapter. I also made sure to repeat imagery and phrases in all ofthe monologues, so that each story was ultimately a smaller piece ofone large story. My challenge to "find a voice" helped me discover that the research I had done was more applicable to the writing process than I had foreseen.

By using the archetypes, I clarified who each character was and why they needed to tell the story.

2.1.3 Fork in the Path

Soon after clarifying the characters I had already written, I came to a kind ofroad block: I was not sure what to write next. I knew I had a choice: I could either work on

"Rapunzel" or "Snow White," but I was not sure who should be telling each story, and why they were telling it. My first impulse was to have a hair-dresser tell the story of

"Snow White," gossiping about the peculiar habits ofthe Evil Queen, but for some reason, that just did not seem right, first, because there was already a gossipy character in the Psychiatrist, and second, because each time I attempted to write the monologue from that point ofview, I froze. There were many points that I wanted to make about the character ofthe Step-mother: that she was misunderstood, that she was trying to protect

Snow White from a doomed future, that she was afraid ofher own mortality. However, everything I wrote sounded preachy, and not incredibly theatrical. Only one phrase summed up what I was fighting to write:

There are good mothers,

33 and sometimes the good mothers are bad mothers,

and sometimes the bad mothers are good mothers,

and its hard to tell the difference between the two.

However, that one phrase did not tell the entire story ofthe Evil Queen, and I became more and more frustrated.

I also became frustrated with the "Rapunzel" monologue. Ofall the fairy tales, I saw "Rapunzel" as the closest to my own personal experience. My mother and I have a very close relationship, in fact, at times as I was growing up I felt imprisoned by my mother's love, just as Rapunzel was imprisoned by the witch. There were many possibilities ofhow I could tell this particular story. I knew that I wanted to include some autobiographical material in the monologue, but I did not know how to present it.

Because my writer's block was getting me nowhere, I decided to take a break from writing and do some research over the summer vacation.

2.1.4 Dreams Really Do Come True

As it turned out, taking a vacation was exactly what I needed, not only to help my writer's block, but also to put a new and more specific focus to the entire piece. In

August, just before school started, I went home to Baltimore to visit my mother. Being around my mother awakened many dormant feelings and memories that I had not felt since I had lived with her. I began to think about how much my mother's life is entwined in my own, and how at times I feel burdened with her hopes. These thoughts were so powerful to me that they manifested themselves in my dreams. One night I had a vivid

34 dream that I was performing my thesis show, and I had a sock puppet who sounded just

like my mother. I was excited by this dream: how can I use that image in my show?

When I got back to Columbus, I wrote a scene in which a daughter is attempting to tell the story ofRapunzel, but her sock puppet mother keeps interrupting her.

2.1.5 New Works Lab

During the Autumn quarter of2001, I took Associate Professor Jeanine

Thompson's New Works Lab: a class focusing entirely on the creation ofthe script for my thesis project. The only people in the class were me, Jeanine, and Kathleen Gonzales, my fellow Independent Track MFA candidate, and myself. On the first day ofclass,

Jeanine informed us that we should present everything that we have written so far to her the following week. I realized that although I had written a lot ofmaterial, none ofit was in a cohesive order, indeed, I had no idea how all ofthese monologues related to one another. I looked over all I had written so far, and it occurred to me that although I had done what I had planned, telling several stories from one woman's life, they had no central through-line. I needed to find a way to have an active story occurring as the stories were being told. I did not want to merely tell a story about someone's life. I wanted that life to be changed in some way through the act ofstorytelling.

Then a major event took place, again focused around my mother. My mother had lost her job over the summer, and in her job search, she discovered a job that would require her to move to Columbus. When she told me this, I was incredibly conflicted.

On the one hand, I wanted my mother to get a job so she could live comfortably and

independently. On the other hand, I definitely did not want my mother to live in the same

35 town as myself, because we had an infamously co-dependent relationship, and I was struggling to have my independence. I realized that my going to graduate school was my own rite ofpassage, in which I had to become independent ofmy mother, and I knew in my heart that ifshe moved to Columbus, I would never be able to have that independence. I told my mother this and, although she was hurt, she understood and chose not to go on the job interview.

During one ofour classes, I confided to Jeanine and Kathleen about the discussion

I had with my mother. As I re-told the story, I realized how pertinent this experience was to my show. I had a brainstorm: all ofthe stories in the were in some way a reflection of a daughter's relationship to the Mother, be it Rapunzel's struggle to be independent ofher mother, or the Evil Queen's rejection ofher daughter. That night, I began to re-work all ofthe monologues, so that the through-line was that ofa woman was struggling to find an identity separate from her mother's. I also re-discovered the "Good Mother/Bad Mother" mantra that I had written while struggling to write the Snow White monologue. I realized that this phrase reminded me ofsomething Glinda from The Wizard ofOz might say, and built a Fairy Godmother character around the phrase. The Fairy Godmother character is not only a representation ofthe Good Mother and the Goddess, but also represents the

Good Daughter, who recognizes that her life will always be intertwined with her mother's, because she acknowledges and accepts the circular nature oflife. I not only found a beginning for my script, I also found a happy ending. All ofthese breakthroughs happened 24 hours before I presented my material to Jeanine. When I read my script to

Jeanine and Kathleen, I felt a huge rush ofadrenaline: I knew that I had created what I had wanted to create all along, although I did not know it when I began.

36 2.2 Journal Entries

The following entries are excerpts from the journal I kept through the creation process ofshe. As discussed above, research and the creation ofthe script were closely related, therefore my journal was devoted to both. The journal entries discuss the research and creation ofthe movement pieces as part ofmy independent project in

Spring, 200 I, the creation ofthe text for she, and also the period after I finished my script, but before the rehearsal process, as I prepared to present a stage reading to my committee: I confronted the difficulties ofdoing stage work on my own.

April 1, 2001

I watched Monday's Girls this weekend. It's a documentary on inara, a women's

'initiation ceremony in Nigeria where the girls are paraded bare-chested through the village and ifproven to be virgins (an old wise woman named Monday examines their nipples), they are sent to "fattening rooms," where they are isolated for 5 weeks. During that time, they have no household responsibilities other than eating all the food they are given, sleeping, and practicing their dancing. While in the fattening rooms, they wear copper coils around their lower legs to keep them from moving too much or running away.

The ceremony is to prepare the young women for marriage. Traditionally, the girls would be married as soon as they emerge from the fattening room. Only other women are allowed to enter, to feed the initiates or to instruct them about married life.

There are great Rapunzel elements in this ceremony. At one point in the movie, an initiate sits at a window brushing her hair and gazing at the young men playing in the

37 yard. The old wise woman, Monday Moses, is the elder who comes to visit the girls in

their rooms to instruct them on the ways ofwifehood.

I am excited because it shows me that I can find relationships between the fairy tales and the ceremonies.

Undated

[Note:Before I fully choreographedthe movement pieces, I listened to a wide variety of music that I considered using in the pieces. These are the notes I took as I was

listeningto different artists with different sounds.]

Images from music:

Blue Man Group-"Endless Column" Track 14 [Death- Fairy Godmother?]

• Angel wings

• Heart Beat

• Chant

• Rising [elevation/transcending]

• Communionwith divine

Dead Can Dance-"Cantara" [Birth-?]

• Growth

• Heartbeat

• Female Voice

• Pain

• Joy/Strength

38 Bjork- Track 4-Telegram [Puberty- Little Red]

• Playful- skipping through forest

• Sex- wolf

• Joy

• Discovery- Body Exploding/Changing

July 26, 2001 New Orleans

I sat and observed Joan Schirle's commedia/physical theatre workshop. The workshop has inspired me to go further with using a mask in my movement pieces. The mask exercise demanded immediate physical responses: physicalizing discoveries, isolating and focusing attention, etc. Very Etienne Decroux. The mask work not only demanded that the actors "get out oftheir heads," but also challenged them to embrace stylized theatre while at the same time making each choice honest and invested. As an audience member I felt drawn in by the masks: I was challenged to complete the picture, and "sit forward."

Undated New Orleans

Some sleep-inspired ideas:

• Slide-show: slides are projected onto cottage, which is a flat with white fabric

stretched across it. That way, light can be projected behind it as well to create

sillhouettes and it can act as a cyclorama as well as a projection screen.

• "You're going down a hallway": (A good transitional moment before the Gretel

piece), a masked figure emerges from the house. The figure examines the

39 audience members by looking at their shoes up to their faces. The mask can either

change from happy to sad, according to ifthat person is "cool" enough. Either

before or after, the masked figure does the ''you're going down a hallway" gesture

with her hands rushing past audience member's heads, which will be repeated in

the monologue.

September 20,2001

Last night I re-read my Apple Speech (prologue). I still like it. It has all ofthe elements I want: audience engagement, a definite character trying to do something, and it also helps to tell the entire story. I also have a great image uniting the prologue with the next monologue. The problem is, I don't know what the next monologue will be. I have an image ofa head popping out ofthe fabric/womb, and saying "Boo!" (Hopefully, startling audience) and then "Boo!" transforms into a "Peek-a-boo" game with a baby. I have a choice here: I can either have the fabric be the baby bundled up in her arms or I can have the audience be the babies, or toddlers. I want to tell the story ofthe Step mother in the first piece. I think I need to create a time-line ofShe's life and then figure out the order I want to tell the story.

Questions for the Future:

1. Who is the storyteller?

2. Why and how are they telling the story?

3. What is the role ofthe audience?

40 Undated

Brainstorm: Battles with our mothers- Gretel shoving the witch into the oven is a

victory: breaking away from the shadow ofbecoming mother, being

devoured by mother.

Right now, I am going through my own rite ofpassage. I thought at first that grad school was the rite ofpassage, but now I realize that grad school is the liminal phase of the rite: grad school is the threshold. The rite ofpassage that I am going through is becoming my own person: breaking away from my family; geographically and emotionally, and more specifically, cutting that spiritual umbilical chord with my mother.

I heard on the radio that a baby's cells will live within its mother's body for up to 27 years. We are biologically linked to our mothers, and then we have to, in some way, die to them. In a rite ofpassage, the initiate must die in some symbolic way in order to be reborn as a new identity.

This past summer has opened my senses to why I feel so connected to these fairy tales: they touch upon the deepest parts ofmy feelings about my mother.

• Gretel is going to be devoured by the witch, as is her brother, but it is

Gretel who must save both ofthem. I sometimes think that my mother

wants to devour my life, that she sucks out all ofmy independence and

sense ofmaturity.

• In "Little Red Riding Hood," the wolfdresses up in the grandmother's

clothing. The wolfthen beckons Little Red to bed. Little Red is alarmed

and repulsed by the wolf. I sometimes feel the same way when my mother

wants to be affectionate or babies me. I am repulsed, as though some kind

41 ofinstinct within me insists that I am too old to curl up on the couch with

mommy. The familiarity ofmy mother also repulses me: her mannerisms,

her habits, even her smell. Its because her familiarity has become strange:

the wolf, the stranger, has put on my mother's nightgown and once again

threatens to devour me.

• "Rapunzel" is probably the most obvious ofthe stories, but I think there is

more love between the witch and her princess than most might assume.

Rapunzel grows her hair long because the witch instructs her to. Personal

association: my mother brushing my hair and styling it; despite my protests

I loved her for it. My mother loved my long hair because when she was a

young girl, her mother told her she could not have long hair until she was

older. Back to "Rapunzel": the witch cuts Rapunzel's hair when she

discovers the prince. Although the story assumes she cuts Rapunzel's hair

to keep the prince from entering the tower, the witch sends Rapunzel out

ofthe tower, into the cruel world. The witch aids in Rapunzel's rite.

When I got my hair cut short for the first time, my mother stood next to

me, and though it was painful for her to watch, she saw my hair

transformed from long to short, and then she saved my hair clippings. This

is more ofa rite for the mother than the daughter: the mother's test is in

how she can let go.

• In "Snow White," there is a constant comparison ofbeauty between the

mother and the daughter. I am going with the version ofSnow White that

makes the villainess the mother, not the Step-mother. The mother realizes

42 that as the daughter becomes more beautiful, more like her, conversely,

she must be becoming more like her mother. And ifher version ofher

mother is that ofthe wolf, the beast that threatens to devour, that must

mean that she will transform into that beast, and consequently, her

daughter will, too. This story is the expression ofthe fear that I think

many women have: the fear ofturning into our mothers. Even ifyou

thought your mom was a knock-out looks-wise, there is always a fear that

you will inherit some trait ofhers that is the root ofall your resentment

towards her.

I think that the Evil Queen is trying to protect her daughter from

her fate by sending her out into the woods, ordering her "death." I think in

this case, the mother is assisting in a rite ofpassage that is not ready to

happen: Snow White lives because her innocence causes people around

her to protect her. Finally, Snow White does have a kind ofdeath, brought

about by her mother, much like Rapunzel, but this is when Snow White is

ready to be initiated into the world. The mother loses the battle: she

remains a hag, and her daughter continues to live, and will eventually

become a hag as well.

• I am going to take out the Cinderella monologue because I want to focus

more on the Fairy Godmother than the girl. The Fairy Godmother is the

symbol ofthe constant spiritual tie between a mother and a daughter. This

is the symbol ofthe Goddess, or the saint, the mother who gives and

sacrifices her selffor the life ofthe daughter. Even though she may not

43 understand, she will support her daughter no matter what. The fairy

godmotherin some versions ofCinderella is replaced by the ghost ofthe

mother; the eternal bond that cannot be broken, no matter how many

witches we shove into ovens or how many hairs we cut, our mothers will

always be there in our spirit and in our flesh.

September 25,2001

I read all ofmy monologuesto Jeanine today, kind ofjumping the gun, considering that we were not supposed to share until Thursday.

But hearing all of the monologues out loud and together in some sort oforder gave me such a great sense ofrelief. I realized that I do have a unified piece ofwork comingtogether, and having the mother-daughter theme brings a frame to the work.

Having a frame is a freeingthing.

Jeanine praised my writing and immediatelylatched onto the darker elements, sayingthat it captures the flavor offairy tales. She also had never heard me sing before and really wants me to add more singing to the piece.

Now, I think my challenge is to find good transitions. I think the Step-Mother piece will work as the closing summation for the trial, and the "Good Mother/Bad

Mother" mantra can reappearin the show in different forms. Perhaps I'll add in a monologue about Prince Charming, but probably not.

44 September 27,2001

I read my completed script to Kat and Jeanine. They think it rocks. The end.

P.S. I can begin working with staging.

October 2,2001

I am putting together an image workbook to get some ideas for stage pictures, and also to present at my first production meeting. I went on the web and searched for fairy tale illustrators, and discovered Kay Neilsen, a 1920's illustrator who has got a fantastic use ofcolor and space. Enormous skies with little fairy tale characters crouched in comers as though the powers ofnature will overwhelm them. Neilsen also has an almost

Art Deco or Art Nouveau style, with 2-D depictions that would be perfect for a pop-up book set design. Is there a way I can make a pop-up book set based on Neilsen?

I also have to start putting together a mask notebook. I would like to create a She mask. I want something feminine but something that represents every woman. Universal mask?

October 30,2001

I am having a tough time settling in to work with staging. I have never worked alone before, and I really need an outside eye. Last spring, Naomi sat in on my rehearsals for my movement pieces as an outside eye, and ifit was not for her, I would probably still be working on them, convinced that they are not clear or good enough. I need someone to tell me "its good enough" or, "can you clarify that?" I am sure as soon as the rehearsal process starts, and I have a stage manager to be an outside eye, I'll be fine, but right now I

45 feel very vulnerable and not ready. Maybe I finished the script too early in the quarter, but I do not have anything to add to it besides stage directions.

Undated

Kat and I worked together on staging some scenes today. For some reason, when

I give feedback to another person, I get ideas for myself. As soon as I worked with Kat on her piece, I was ready to work on mine. Kat gave some valuable feedback, but basically I was improvising in front ofher and she told me what worked and what did not, and then we both talked about how to unify things. At least that gave me the kick in the butt that I needed. I am finding that working in a thrust can be quite a challenge. I fmd myselfwanting to play to the downstage center area, and I ignore the rest ofthe audience.

I am going to make an effort to get out ofthat habit now before the staging becomes too ingrained.

December 6, 2001

I presented my semi-staged reading to my committee today. Although Jeanine encouraged me to present the movement pieces I worked on in the Spring along with the script, I chose not to because I haven't worked on the movement pieces since June. I think that incorporating the movement pieces into the rest ofthe piece will be my first goal when I start rehearsals. After presenting the script with the staging, I realize how much stamina I will need to perform the show. I had better get into excellent physical shape over winter break or I won't have the energy to carry the show.

46 As far as feed back goes, both Joy and Amy were very enthusiastic. Amy had a very strong emotional reaction to the piece: she told me that she was traumatized by it.

That is not exactly what I would prefer audience members to walk away with, but as long as she had a genuine experience, I am happy. I am concerned that both Joy and Amy interpreted the Little Red Riding Hood story as a rape. I definitely do not want to go in that direction, because first ofall, its an obvious choice and second ofall, I do not think I am qualified to tackle the issue. How can I focus more on the aspect ofgrowing up and awakening sexuality more so than rape?

Joy wants me to focus more on the positive aspects. I think that the movement pieces will help, but she would also like to see the Crone reappear in the story, as well as a discovery ofthose moments ofwisdom. I am sure that I can take those steps while I am in rehearsal. That is the wonderful thing about being the creator: I can do anything I want with the piece, even after its in production. Within limits, that is....

47 2.3 Director's Concept Statement

Following is the director's concept I developed for the first production meeting for MFA New Works. Although many elements ofthe production were maintained from the original concept to the final version ofthe script, for example, the sound score and overall tone ofthe piece, some design elements, such as the set concept and the use of masks, were altered as needed.

DIRECTOR'S CONCEPT STATEMENT

she

by Allyson Rosen

she is an exploration ofthe sometimes magical, sometimes torturous relationships that women have with their mothers, looked at through the eyes ofa fairy tale. In this one-woman-show, a series ofstorytellers track the journey ofShe, an archetypal heroine based on Gretel, Little Red Riding Hood, Rapunzel, The Wicked Step-Mother, The Witch in the Woods, The Fairy Godmother, Me, My Mother, My Grandmother, and, ultimately, the Goddess.

Throughout her life, She struggles to "cut the chord" that exists between herself and her mother, and to change her life path so that she will not make the same mistakes her mother made. It is only after her life is over that She realizes that there will always be a connection to her mother, and that even ifwe try to avoid it, we cannot help but revisit our mother's paths.

The structure ofshe is a kind ofspider's web in which many seemingly unrelated tales tell a larger story. The story ofShe is told by a wide variety ofcharacters, from a

48 sullen pre-teen who is the New Girl in school to a sock puppet named Ma to a real, live

Fairy Godmother. There are also short movement pieces that not only aid in telling the story, but also provide transitions from one character to the next.

The world in which all ofthese characters live is the world ofthe fairy tale. Not the sanitized Disney version ofthe fairy tale, but the world ofthe dark, sometimes gruesome fairy tale in which old women are shoved in ovens by little girls and wolves dressed in nightgowns wait patiently for their prey. In this place between Once Upon a

Time and Happily Ever After, there is nothing that is not possible; even your own mother can turn into a Wicked Witch. There is no specific time period for this world, but there are references to modem pop culture in the script. However, the oral tradition oftelling fairy tales is an ancient one that dates back to the beginnings ofcivilization, and the design elements should reflect the juxtaposition ofthe ancient and the modem. The design elements do not have to be realistic; in fact, the more blatantly theatrical, the better.

The performance space should be indicative ofa skewed fairy tale world. The central and major set piece would be the cottage/tiring house, a cross between a children's play house and a slightly sinister cottage in the woods that has been abandoned and now the woods is reclaiming it. It is a ruin that is slowly crumbling, with ivy climbing up its walls and dead leaves and wild flowers carpeting its floors. This cottage will be used both as a costume changing area as well as a performance space. It must have at least one window and a door that can be opened and closed and can be lit from the inside. The other major set piece is a small wooden bench that one would find sitting outside such a cottage. Keeping budget constraints in mind, and also the need to strike the set quickly

49 for the second halfofthe MFA New Works performance night and future touring venues, there is a very cheap and easy way to indicate not only the idea ofa fairy tale, but also of an abandoned childhood: the space is a life-sized pop-up book. All ofthe set pieces: the cottage, trees, the bench, look like paper cut outs. However, this is not a new pop-up book: it is distressed from years ofwear and tear and has been abandoned much like the cottage. What used to be brilliant colors are now faded and sun-bleached. Some parts of it have coffee stains and some bits are tom. This pop-up book effect can be made by the use ofsimple, moveable stand-up flats that represent some trees and the cottage.

The costume pieces do not have to be detailed, but should indicate the status of each character in a recognizable way. My idea is to use removable costume pieces on top ofa basic unit (either a black unitard or dance dress) that can be easily changed for each storytelling character, kind oflike a little girl playing dress up with her mother's clothes.

The Fairy Godmother can have a pink tutu and fairy wings that one can find in a

Halloween costume store, the New Girl can have some kind oftrendy t-shirt; there has to be some costume piece that will distinguish the Psychiatrist from the Defense Attorney.

These costume elements can be easily pulled from costume storage, but ifI could, I would like to distress them to give them a look ofage and decay. Another costuming element is that ofthe blood red cloak, which should be a cross between a Red Riding Hood and a

Witch's Cowl. It is a hooded cloak that has been worn by She for years and years and looks like it. The cloak should be made with enough fabric for me to fit underneath, completely hidden, at the beginning ofthe show. The cloak is also used throughout the show as a prop, bundled up to look like a baby in a blanket. Ifcostume storage has no such cloak, it is my understanding that the costume shop has a pattern for a full-length

50 hooded cloak. Another costuming element is She's mask, which is worn during the movement transition pieces. The mask is a full facial mask, that can be easily removed for costume changes. I will be designing and building the mask in Valerie Lucas's Mask class. One final costuming element is Rapunzel's wig, which is a IO-foot long braid that can be represented by a rope.

The props in the show are minimal. However, one ofthe props is actually a character; a sock puppet named Ma. Ma does not have to be in any way a sophisticated puppet. She can, in fact, be as simple as a painted sock with eyes glues on. Another major prop is a basket ofassorted apples which the Crone distributes to audience members, which will have to be replenished for each performance. Other props include a briefcase filled with papers and a magic wand for the Fairy Godmother.

The most complex design elements in she are that oflight and sound. The sound score for the show is a mixture ofnatural and electronic sources: heart beat, fire, laughter, and singing blended with electronica music and the sound ofa sonogram. The music of

Bjork and Dead can Dance have influenced me greatly because these artists mix very traditional tribal music with electronic beats and samples. The intention ofthe sound score is to ignite the audience's imagination as they are told the story, mirroring a storytelling technique that utilizes live sound effects as the storyteller performs.

The lighting should be just as evocative as the sound score, only it reflects the presence ofnature and wilderness. The lighting can at one point suggest the inside ofthe womb and at other times suggest the depths ofthe forest. There are times when the lighting is so dim that the audience can barely make out what is happening on stage, and their imaginations will have to provide the image for them. The tone ofthe show is

51 infused with dark, morbid humor and the lighting should reflect that. An image that

. comes to mind is the lighting effect ofa camp-fire at a ghost storytelling session. The

brilliant colors used by the Pre-Raphaelite painters, especially Franz Stuck and J.W.

Waterhouse, should be the palate ofall design elements ofthe show. However, those

brilliant colors hidden under a film ofdust and age, like a stained glass window that

hasn't been cleaned in centuries.

To evoke some imagery, here is a description ofthe pre-historic goddess, known

as She:

She is. Nothing Else is. Only She, the urge, fecund, emergent, rhythmic, dancing a world into being from the void that is no void at all by Her urgent Self, who takes form for the pleasure ofit, ofHer own accord. Dark and light. Ice and fire. Solidity and spirit. The gyre oftime. Broad breasted earth and the enveloping heavens. The quickness oflife, motion, unfolding growth, the music ofbeing-the invisible breath ofthe wind, pain, the silence ofdeath. All appears from Her swollen moist depths into the light ofthe sun She bore, returning to Her to appear yet again--each apparition no more or no less than Her own being, given form out ofHer own pleasure. ....She bestows on Her creation the gift ofstory-stories ofmotion, aroma, color, texture, sound, word-by which She can be known in her infinite variety and shimmering singularity: the fecund urge, the primal prophetess, the Great Goddess, giver and taker ofall. (From Goddess by David Leeming and Jake Page)

52 2.4 Completed Script

The following is the final version ofthe script for she. A briefnote about the format ofthe text: because I wanted to be very specific about the voice ofeach character,

I developed a writing style that indicated the phrasing for each line being said. This style is largely derived from Anna Deavere Smith, who developed a method oftranscribing the words ofthe people she interviewed and attempted to capture on paper the rhythms, thought patterns, and sounds being made by people in real life.

Setting:

A cluttered attic with generations ofboxes and trunks lying haphazardly about.

This is a place where someone stores old things that are broken andyet too precious, too laden with memory, to throwaway. An oversized leather desk chair, missing a wheel, leans in one corner, Upstage Left. An old-fashioned dress-maker 's mannikin rests in the shadows Upstage Right. Thefloor around Upstage Center is littered with old discarded linen that previous generations ofchildren have played with andpainted. In the

Downstage Right corner stands a full-length ornate mirrorframe. In the Downstage Left corner, a big, beautiful steamer trunk sits awaiting curious hands to open it. Other objects is the space are boxes filled with holiday decorations, abandoned toys, dusty costume jewelry, tarnished trophies, yellowed children's drawings, and old luggage that is also used to store things that people have forgotten. Although at first glance, this attic seems like a very realistic space, there is an air ofhidden magic within it: this is a place ofpossibility.

53 The time ofday, as indicated by lighting, is the sleepy hour oflate afternoonjust before sunset. Perhaps during the prologue, the audience hears a sound-reference to the woods outside the attic. At moments within the story, there will be changesfrom "real time" to the time ofmagic, however, throughout the story the "real time" will transition into a cloudless twilight.

Prologue

As the audience enters the space, they see that a Girl (She) is playing by herselfwith objects in the attic. A tape deck is playing with old Disney music. This scene is improvised. When the final audience members take their seats, She opens the trunk (and a magical soundhappens), and discovers a tutu, which she briefly plays with, andthen a cloak. As She explores the possibilities ofthe cloak, She transforms into the Crone, and picks up a basket.

Scene 1: Apples

The Crone mimes polishing apples and hands them to the audience members. The

Crone wears a hoodthat keeps her face in shadow. It is not certain whether she is an actual slightly insane oldwoman or a little girl pretending to be an old lady. When the last audience member gets an apple, Crone takes stage. The Crone hears a twittering

Disney-esque birdsong, which distracts her momentarily. She picks up her staff(a broom stick) andzaps the birdwith it (this can be either a shotgun sound or a lightning bolt).

54 CRONE:

Everyone got their apples?

Who said no?

Ah...

Yer t'ones with

The InvisibleApples.

Yes

The InvisibleApples.

Ya see, I'm a poor old woman

Not much ofa budget see

And apples can be quite expensive

What with the

Genetically Enhanced Apples being on the market

Edgingthe InvisibleApples out---

Not that they were hot sellers to begin with---

No room for Magic when you've got Science,eh?

Those with Invisible Apples,

We will have to cast a spell to make them visible.

Now don't look at me like that.

55 You bought the ticket,

You pay the price.

Its not called the magic oftheatre for nothing...

So:

Everyone, look at your apples.

Come on, come on,

Don't look at me,

I'm not much to look at.

Mmmm...

Tasty apples ...

Look at your apples!

Look at the color ofthe skin.

Some ofyou have green apples

Some have yellow

Some have red

Each one is different

Each one is unique.

Look closer at your apple.

Are there blemishes?

Freckles?

Wrinkles?

And while you are looking at your apples,

56 Ask yourselfa question.

A simple question:

Did I turn offmy cell phone?

A-HA!

Caught you!

You would have sabotaged the entire spell!

Alright people, settle down, now...

Back to the apples...

Apples are incredibly symbolic.

They are an integral part ofthousands ofstories.

What story is your apple from?

Does your apple tempt you to bite it?

What do you think your apples tastes like?

Does it look like it might have been injected with a secret potion?

Well

There is only one way to find out.

In stories with apples,

The most exciting stuffhappens when someone takes a bite.

Are you ready for your story to begin?

Well?

Bring your apple to your mouth.

Do you smell it?

57 Does it smell yummy?

Mmmm

Tasty apple...

Now open your mouth...

Yes, that's it...

Now...

Its time!

The story will begin ifyou take a bite!

One

Two

Three

Scene lA: Womb

A Huge Chomping Sound, and the Lights go black

In the blackness we hear a the sound ofa sonogram, and then a muffled lullabye being sung in the distance. As the lights come up in incredibly slow increments, we see what appears to be a pile offabric, a lump. The light is dim, so that we can barely see the lump, and the lump shifts andpulses and breathes andjust as it looks as though something will emerge from the lump, The Fairy Godmother's Headpops out. She says...

58 Scene 2: Fairy Godmother

FAIRY GODMOTHER:

Boo!

Peek-a-boo!

[She bundles up thefabric and cradles it like an lnfant.]

(l'here is the sound ofseveral babies bawling comingfrom the audience. She speaks to bundle)

Oh, now, there there there there

There are good mothers

And there are bad mothers.

(Babies quiet down a little)

And sometimes the good mothers are bad mothers

And sometimes the bad mothers are good mothers

(Babies are silent)

And its hard to tell the difference between the two.

(She looks around at audience and speaks to them)

Well, hello there.

I haven't seen most ofyou in a long time.

Ofcourse, you don't remember me...

This one here won't, I'm sure.

59 Not a much ofan attention span on this one.

Its kind ofa thankless job, being a Fairy Godmother.

Very underrated, and most people forget about us,

They tend to remember the wicked step-mothers instead.

Not that I can blame you...

I mean, really, what does a Fairy Godmother do?

Help you get ready for the ball?

And even then, there's that annoying curfew on the spelL.so you can't REALLY enjoy yourselfat the ball ifyou're constantly watching the clock...

You forget that it was me who watched over you all night when you had that bad dream about the man in the closet.

You forget that it was me who kissed your boo-boo with the magical boo-boo kiss that makes all pain go away from knees and elbows.

You forget that it was me who made sure your Christmas presents were safely hidden away in an alternate dimension so the surprise wouldn't be spoiled on Christmas

Morning.

You forget that I sang you songs before you were even born and that when you were born

I thought there couldn't be a more beautiful sight than you.

She had a Fairy Godmother, you know.

(Pause)

Oh, no, not her...(Referring to baby in arms)

60 She.

The one you came to hear about.

When She was born,

Her Fairy Godmother told her that she was the most beautiful girl in the world

And She believed her Fairy Godmother

Because her Fairy Godmother also told her that Fairy Godmothers know everything

And so it must be true.

Perhaps that is part ofthe reason She did what she did...

I never thought about it that way before...

Well, back to the story.

Her Fairy Godmother loved her very much,

And would do anything for her,

And so She became a somewhat spoiled little girl

And began to take her Fairy Godmother for granted,

As most little girls do.

And that's when her Fairy Godmother disappeared.

Oh, the Fairy Godmother was always there, waiting to bail her out, and you will see that She got into some trouble that only a Fairy Godmother's powers could help her out of,

But She couldn't see her Fairy Godmother any more,

And so She forgot that she had a Fairy Godmother.

But her Fairy Godmother always remembered her.

61 I know, not a very exciting story.

There will be more exciting stories to come, trust me.

The point is, She had a Fairy Godmother.

And believe it or not, so do you.

And your Fairy Godmother is probably slaving away for you right now,

Not expecting any kind of reward.

The rewardingpart is knowing that if you become a Fairy Godmother, you will remember, and you'll do an even betterjob than I did

And you'll be thanked even less.

(Baby starts to bawl again)

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I have ajob to do.

Now, now, there there there there

There are good mothers

And there are bad mothers

And sometimesthe good mothers are bad mothers

And sometimesthe bad mothers are good mothers

And its hard to tell the difference between the two....

62 Scene 2A: Angel

[She crosses with her bundle Upstage. She begins singing DAngel, 0 by Jewel. The baby/l cries soften until they are completely gone. The Fairy Godmother un-bundles the "baby, " anddrapes what we realize now was the Crone's cloak on the mannikin. She flicks her magic wand at various objects around the attic, bringing out their potential, perhaps there is a magical sound each time she uses her wand. Eventually, she causes the linen that had been lying Upsatge Center to rise up and creates a cottage/puppet theatre with old bedsheets pinned together with clothespins. As soon as the cottage isfinished being constructed, the Fairy Godmother slips offher tutu and slips behind the cottage, still singing. Her voice transforms form the Fairy Godmother's to She's and then Young

Woman's, then Ma's Towards the end ofthe song, a light appears in a window ofthe cottage, and it resembles a puppet theatre. The song ends, and a sockpuppet, "Ma," peeks out.)

Scene 3: Hair

MA: Doesn't she have the most beautiful voice you've ever heard?

YOUNG WOMAN (YW): Ma....

MA: What? I'm supposed to brag. I'm your mother.

YW: But its embarrassing.

MA: I'm supposed to embarrass you. I'm your mother.

63 YW: (rolls her eys)

MA: Anyway, are you going to tell the story, or am I?

YW: Let me tell it.

MA: Ofcourse. Its your day, you should tell it.

YW: Okay, well, She's totally my hero.

MA: She worships her.

YW: I mean, She's a role model. You have to give her that. We can all use her

life as an example for our own.

MA: Except for that ONE thing She did...

YW: Ofcourse. I meant except for that one thing She did. Can I tell the story or

what?

MA: Go right ahead, just don't generalize.

YW: MA!

MA: Well, tell it already!

YW: (To audience) You know what I mean. Each one ofus has something to relate

to about her. And there are so many stories, and some believe one version

and some believe others. And ifyou believe it, you live it.

MA: That's very nicely said, sweety.

YW: Thanks. (Rolls her eyes) Anyway, I like the hair story. You know? The one

where her mother made her grow her hair really long and kept her locked up

and then the guy came and found her and then her mom cut all her hair off

64 and sent her into the desert? (Ma has been shaking her head throughout this

speech) What?

MA: They know it. And it was a witch, not a mother.

YW: I was just checking...not everyone knows these stories you know. God! (Beat)

What do you mean, it wasn't her mother?

MA: It was a witch.

YW: Can't a witch be a mother?

MA: Sure.

YW: Then what exactly is your point?

MA: I was just saying...

Y W: Can I tell the story, Mother? Without you correcting me every two minutes?

MA: You are so sensitive.

YW: Well YOU push all my buttons!

MA: I'm supposed to push your buttons. I'm you're mother.

YW: ANYWAY. My mother....well, her mother wouldn't let her grow her hair

long when she was a little girl. It wasn't that she was cruel or anything...it was

just because long hair can be a pain in the butt to take care of, and my mother was

always getting into things...

MA: I was a little trouble-maker.

YW: And her hair would have probably gotten tangled up in everything. You

know...bubble gum, branches...Well, eventually it got to be a big, big issue,

like a matter oflife or death with my mother.

65 MA: Oh, it wasn't THAT dramatic.

YW: Ma....

MA: I just wanted long hair.

YW: She HAD to have long hair.

MA: It was the 60's.

YW: As soon as she turned thirteen, she started letting her hair grow long. That

was the magic age in our family. My grandmother told her that when she was

thirteen, she could do whatever she wanted with her hair.

MA: I could shave my head for all she cared. That's what she said. My brother

was told that when he was thirteen he could start spending his allowance

money instead ofputting it in the bank,

YW: My uncle bought a dime bag, which my grandmother found and flushed

down the toilet.

MA: Don't tell them that!

YW: Sorry. Back to the story. My mom started letting her hair grow when she

was 13. By her 14th birthday it was past her shoulders.

MA: By my 15th birthday it was almost to my tush.

YW: By her 16th birthday it was almost to her knees. And my grandmother

complained and nagged about how unpractical it was to have hair that long,

but my mother ignored her and kept growing it. She took really good care of

it, she wasn't a slob or anything...But most ofher free time was spent

grooming.

66 MA: Its true. I had no social life. I just had my hair.

YW: Finally, my grandmother asked her...(both MA and YWlook down...GrandMa is

late for her cue) Um...finally my grandmother asked her....

MA: MAl

GM's Voice: Wha?

MA: Time to act...

GM:Oh.

(Another sockpuppetpops out...it is GrandMa)

YW: Finally my Grandmother asked her....

GM: Why? Why are you devoting your life to this hair?

YW: And my mother told her...

MA: I'm waiting until my hair is long enough to throw out the window so I can

catch a prince like a fish and escape from your house. (Beat) I was so

dramatic when I was a teenager.

YW: You see? Like the story! Now my grandmother was really hurt. I.mean, she

wasn't keeping my mother prisoner or anything. And by this time, she was

tired offinding clumps ofhair all over the house. So one night, while my

mother was sleeping, my grandmother took a pair ofscissors and as quietly as

she could...(The sockpuppets have a dramatic re-enactment...)

GM: Snip, snip.

MA: I was furious. As you can imagine. And we had a huge fight

YW: And my mother packed her bags and ran away.

67 MA: And we didn't speak to each other for a long time.

YW: Thanks, Grandma....you can go now.

(GrandMa bows to the audience andgoes back behind the cottage.)

(Pause)

YW: My story is kind ofthe opposite.

MA: Because I didn't want to make the same mistakes my mother made.

YW: Ma...MY story.

MA: Your story. Sorry.

YW: My mother made me grow my hair long when I was growing up. Every

morning before school she would brush my hair, and it would really hurt

because she would just RIP the brush through my tangles and I would scream

and cry. And she would always say, (Imitating Ma) "Ifit doesn't hurt me, it

doesn't hurt you." And I could never figure that out and it really pissed me

off. And I would go to school with my scalp throbbing and red eyes from

crying.

MA: Such a drama queen, the way you carried on about your hair.

YW: It hurt, Ma.

MA: It did not.

YW: MA. (Ma shuts up) Anyway, the magic age now is 18. 18 is when I get

control ofmy body.

MA: 18 is when I stop pinching your butt.

68 YW: 18 is when you stop using spit to wipe my face. When I'm 18 I can do

whatever I want with my hair.

MA: She can shave her head, for all I care.

YW: Today is my 18th birthday. I have a pair ofscissors. For some reason, I can't

do it.

MA: And there's no way I can do it. I can't even watch. (Ma ducks behind curtains.)

YW: So, I was wondering could you...cut the cord, so to speak? I'm gonna need

a little help with this (She comes out from behind the cottage toward the

audience. Suddenly, Ma grabs onto her braid and won't let go.)

Scene 3A: Tug 0' War

(Some kind oflighting transition: we hear carnival-esque music, and slowly approaching wolf-howls. MA and She have a Tug-o-War battle over the braid until finally She rips Ma offher handandstuffs the puppet into the trunk. As she stuffs Ma in the trunk, she pulls out afur coat. Thefur coat smells ofsomethingfamiliar. As she investigate the fur coat by sniffing, the coatfinds its way onto her and transforms into the PSYCHIATRIST, who as she grooms herselfin a very wolf-like way, occasionally takes whiffs ofthe audience.

She busies herselfwith getting ready...putting on her glasses [pulledfrom a pocket in the coat), slipping on her high-heels [three sizes too big} and grabbing her briefcase [an old, beaten up suitcase]. She nods curtly to each section ofaudience, but underneath her businesslike demeanor is a seductive, almostferal quality.)

69 Scene 4: Dirty Little Secrets

PSYCHIATRIST:

I have, in my hand,

Her File.

As you know, ladies and gentlemen, it would be strictly against all confidentiality agreements to share this information.

However, since I am a fictional analyst with a fictional patient.. ..

All bets are otT.

Shall we peruse her dirty little secrets?

What She doesn't know won't hurt her....

Let's see....

(opens suitcase andjlips through papers)

She got into an awful lot oftrouble, didn't she?

(Tosses the uninteresting papers into the middle ofthe jloor. They are revealed to be children's drawings. Finally she finds what she is lookingfor: an oversized coloring book filled with Fairy Tales)

Ah! Here it is!

This one was,

I think, the most intriguing one ofall....

(Opens the book to show audience picture ofLittle Red Riding Hood, then snaps the book back to herself)

70 She had a predilection for danger in her pubescent years.

Although she had been a quiet child, after a traumatic Incident in her grade school years

She emerged as a rebellious girl.

It seems to me her mother was in denial ofthe wild streak her daughter had developed.

Not surprising, ofcourse, considering she had nearly lost the girl only a few years before.

She was a precocious girl,

And liked to attract attention,

And convinced her mother, who would do anything for her, and told her on more than one occasion that She was the most beautiful girl in the world, to sew her a cloak with the brightest, flashiest, flirtiest red wool, which she wore constantly.

(Shows audience picture ojLittle Red Riding Hood, snaps book back around)

At this age, many young women experiment with their sexuality.

Such experimentation might be expressed by wearing make-up (Shows picture)

Or dabbling in the occult to cast love spells on boys (Shows picture)

Or practicing French-kissing on their pillows. (Shows picture)

Or on their dogs. (Shows picture...realizes what she just said, snaps book back.)

She liked to venture into the woods.

71 (Flips page, and shows audience picture ofthe woods, snaps book back)

When her mother asked where she went for hours on end,

She claimed that she was visiting her grandmother

(Flips page, shows picture ofGrandmother, snaps book back)

When she met with me, I had been told the same thing for many sessions.

She clung to this alibi as ifit were reality and I suppose it was her reality.

She finally told me that she just liked to walk through the woods aimlessly and make up stories in her head

Ofher dark lover, her shadow-man with dusky hair and green eyes.

And sometimes she would find her way to a cottage in the woods,

And lie upon a bed that was covered in dust and ashes and mildew,

And take a nap.

One day, she went into the woods and didn't come back.

Search teams were sent after her,

And finally, She was found in the cottage,

With what used to be a Wolfin a nightgown lying on the bed.

She waswearing her red cloak with nothing underneath.

She was covered in blood.

And she was chanting

"What big eyes!

What big ears!

What a big nose!

72 What big teeth!

What a big---"

Over and over.

(Flips pages, shows audience picture ofdead wolf, snaps book shut)

She explained to me, in our first session,

That when she came to the cottage, she thought that it was her dark lover lying in the bed beckoning her to snuggle up.

And when she lay down next to the beast,

She was alarmed,

Not because she realized that she was lying next to a predator with dusky fur,

But because the nightgown he was wearing

Reeked ofa smell so familiar it repulsed her.

It was the smell ofher grandmother.

It was the way her mother was beginning to smell.

It was what She would eventually smell like, too.

The Wolfmust have scented her new moon's blood.

The Wolfmust have followed her.

The Wolfmust have charmed her with his soulful green eyes.

(Crosses to mannikin that has the cloak hanging on it)

She was sitting on the floor in a comer when she told me this, with her red cloak

73 (Which had been worn with such devotion it reeked ofyoung girls' perspiration and crushed leaves)

Draped over her head like a cowl.

I asked her how she had mistaken a wolffor her grandmother,

And She explained,

"Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between the ones who love you and the ones who will eat you alive."

(Psychiatrist puts book back in briefcase)

And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen.

One ofmany dirty little secrets about her that I have kept safely locked away.

This story has been told in so many ways over the years,

(Snaps briefcase shut)

But I have it straight from the origin.

Ofcourse, most people nowadays consider her to be a heroine .

An innocent child defending herselfagainst a lecherous beastie .

And usually in the story, granny is miraculously saved from the belly ofthe beast.

And perhaps, they like the story better that way.

But here are the facts, in my hand! (Holds up briefcase)

And trust me, I have had offers to sell this story, very good offers,

74 But I chose to share it with you!

(Psychiatrist offers chair flirtatiously to each section ofaudience, but her offer becomes more and more desperate and she betrays her ravenous nature.)

Now, I'm sure you all have dirty little secrets to share...

Anyone willing to let me take one down?

Anyone?

Any-

Scene 4A: Getting Rid ofEvidence

(A transformation happens: [the sound ofwolves snarling andfighting...ripping sounds..'] PSYCHIATRIST metamorphs into SHE [discard's PSYCH Costume], who picks up all ofthe papersfrom the floor andplaces them in a pile and mimes lighting them onfire [lighting and sound effect, which turns into electronica/pop music). SHE then transforms into NEW GIRL who wears an out-of-fashionjeansjacket circa 1987, and who slouches in the desk chair with pre-teen angst and wheels the chair around apathetically.)

75 Scene 5: Tangent

NEW GIRL:

I hate this school.

Don't worry, I'm not like, y'know, gonna

Pick up a shot gun and go on a

Black-trenchcoat killing-spree through the hallways

Or anything.

I just, y'know...

Urn, okay, so I hate the way

When you first meet someone

Because you're new

And the principal's assigned you to a total AN nard to introduce you around

And so all the cool kids think you're the nard's friend

Or cousin

Or like chat-room buddy or something and the nard introduces you to like the

Leader ofthe Cool People

And the first thing The Leader ofthe Cool People does

(chair ends up infront a/the trunk and New Girl stands an trunk)

She doesn't even look at your face

Or like

76 Your eyes

The first thing she looks at is your shoes

You know, to check ifthey're brand name

Then your jeans

To see ifthey're designer

Then your shirt

To see ifyou've got like an alligator on it

Which used to be cool, but now its not

And eventually she'll like

Glance at your face for like a millisecond

And ifyou don't qualify to be one ofThem

You're dismissed as just another wannabe

With Payless shoes

And jeans your Mom bought at Target

Which your Mom calls Tar-jay

To make you feel better about being poor

But its just so tacky, okay.

Everyone knows that Target is just like one tiny evolutionary step up from K-Mart

Which is one blink up from Wal-Mart.

Anyway

So yeah, I'm poor.

77 (Hops down from trunk)

Which is not cool at this schooL

IfI were in like

(sits on chair backwards)

The Hood

It would be cool,

But only ifmy big brother was like a gang leader or a rapper or something

God this schooL

I mean, that's what its like

ALL THE TIME.

It used to be

The higher you could hairs-pray your bangs,

The cooler you were.

And before that it was like

The more buttons you had on your jeans jacket

The cooler you were.

The more charms you had on your charm necklace

The cooler you were.

And they all cost money.

I mean, my Mom would so not buy me a curling iron for my bangs

No matter how much I begged.

78 "You're too young" she said

Which was true, I was like 7 or 8 when that was cool

And I would have totally looked like Jon-Benet or something.

So anyway,

The Nard?

The Nard who totally humiliated me by her mere presence?

Well, she was all trying to make me feel better about

Being dismissed by the Leader ofthe Cool People

And she must have wanted to make friends with me,

Like deep down in her heart she wanted a

Flesh and blood friend instead oflike

Letters on a computer screen

So she takes me aside

(Gets out ofchair, and turns it around to now symbolize a toilet)

Into the girls room

Which totally freaked me out

And I don't think I need to tell you why...

Anyway she like comers me in a stall and says

"Don't worry. She's a loser."

That's what she sounds like.

She's got some kind ofspeech impediment

That makes her spit on people.

79 Its kind of sad.

"Don't worry, she's a loser.

Girls like her

They end up married to gynecologists

And getting plastic surgery so often it's a hobby.

You never hear about popular girls after they graduate

Because that's the best time oftheir lives

And its all down hill from there.

But the poor kids

The geeks"

[She called herselfa Geek!

Just by saying the word Geek she automatically became more Nardish] . "they're the ones that have the best stories in the end.

There was this girl I knew in grade school

Whose a legend around here.

She would be going to this school

But her Mom decided to home-school her after the

Incident."

(Transition- dorky music signifies that the point ofview changesfrom New Girl's to

Nard's)

NARD:

80 I knew her in grade school, before the incident.

She was always pretty quiet--- well, I should say, pretty AND quiet.

She was one ofthose BLANK girls, you know?

One ofthose vacantly pretty girls with long eyelashes and kilt skirts,

Her hair was always in a painfully tight braid,

As though her mother had spent early morning hours ripping through her tangles, through her tears, nagging,

"You must pay your price for beauty" before she sent her on her way.

I'm not sure WHY she was so quiet. ..

It could have been her mother's strictness...

It could have been her poverty...

I think she was so quiet because her brother was so outgoing.

He was the golden child.

He protected her with his shadow.

So its no surprise, that when she had her chance

She leapt at the opportunity to save him.

To win some glory for herself.

I think that was the start ofit all.

Although, I always wondered iffor one split second she had considered leaving him to fry.

81 They were walking to school.

Oh, I know the rumor is their parents had abandoned them to the woods because they couldn't afford to feed them,

But, come on,

Her brother was the brave adventurous type, and he had heard ofa shortcut.

So he dragged her along with him into the woods and when she got worried about getting lost,

(she was always worried about something)

He developed this stupid breadcrumb scheme to pacify her.

He wasn't very smart.

The birds didn't eat ALL ofthe breadcrumbs, you know.

After

The incident,

They combed the woods for evidence and discovered bits ofpeanut butter and jelly sandwiches scattered among the fallen leaves.

Anyway,

They DID get lost, and they were famished by the time they came upon the cottage.

She didn't want to knock on the door,

She had heard the stories about people who do awful things to lost children in the woods

82 Like give them apples with razors in them,

Or sell them on the black market,

Or like one time

But this wasn't in the woods

This was in Florida

And I was in this dinner-theatre tour ofSound ofMusic when I was six

I played Gretel

This crazy nun

A real nun, not like a Climb Every Mountain Sound ofMusic nun

Sister Rose-Marie was my chaperone because my parents couldn't afford to go with me

And I had to stay in the same hotel room as Sister Rose Marie

Who took like psychiatric medication like Thorazine or Prozac or something

And I had to SLEEP in the SAME BED as her

And she snored

And one time I got real home sick and she wouldn't let me call my mom and dad

So I like threw a temper tantrum

I was six

And she shut me in a closet

Which made me go even crazier

83 And I was stuck in that closet for a whole day without food or water

Until the mom ofone ofthe other kids in the show broke a window and I climbed out.

Anyway, so bad things happen to little kids

I've heard all kinds of stories,

I've even been in one ofthe stories

And for a while, I was known as "The Little Girl Sister Rose Marie Locked In A

Closet"

But I don't think there were any stories about anyone trying EAT children,

That was a new one.

Anyway

They were both so hungry and tired by this time that they saw some wild mushrooms growing in the forest.

So they ate them.

But they were poisonous mushrooms or

Magic mushrooms

And they started to go crazy

And they saw this cottage

And they tried to eat it.

Well that's what the story is.

84 I think some cops threw that part ofthe story in to frighten us out ofdoing drugs

Like don't do drugs! They'll make you think the carpet is eating you and you'll jump out a window and die like Helen Hunt in the Afterschool Special!

But anyway

So when the old woman creaked open the door and offered them lots ofgoodies,

The warnings ofschool assemblies and ofmothers and aunties and babysitters flew out oftheir minds and they settled in to eat.

She wouldn't tell anyone the details ofwhat happened in that cottage,

But I noticed that she came back to school plumper than I remembered.

Some stories were whispered around the playground that the old woman had fattened them up because she planned to eat them.

I don't know...you don't hear about many geriatric female serial killers.

I personally think the she was just a desperately lonely old lady who had no family to care for her.

I don't know what happened in that cottage, but something horrific must have happened to make her do what she did.

I mean, this little girl COOKED the old woman.

Shoved her in an oven and set it on broil.

I hear the smell ofburnt flesh was in the air around the woods for days after the incident.

85 Maybe the old woman had been abusing her and her brother.

Like the way that Sister Rose-Marie had treated me.

Maybe she was jealous that the old woman had chosen her brother to eat first.

But she came back to school with a new confidence after the incident,

And would tell her story to anyone who asked

While her brother lurked sullenly in her shadow.

He would never talk about it.

I think he was ashamed that his little nerdy sister saved his butt,

Because people were expecting him to be the hero.

Which just goes to show,

It's the losers who come through in the end,

And the Cool People are just coolon the outside."

(Transition back to New Girl P.G. V)

NEW GIRL:

So the Nard finished her little words ofwisdom up just in time for

The Leader ofthe Cool People to walk into the girls room.

And she stared at us crammed in a stall together.

And my heart stopped. o My God.

Not only does she think I'm a Nard,

She thinks I'm a Lesbo Nard.

86 So before She has a chance to call her friends in to start cracking on me

I grab the Nard by her neck and shove her head in a toilet bowl and flush.

"And that's for telling stupid baby fairy tales, Reject!"

When the Nard picked her head up she looked in my eyes

And she had this weird knowing look on her face

Like no matter what I said I couldn't make her cry

Because she knew something I didn't

Which made me even madder.

So I flushed again

"Hope your braces don't rust, Nard!"

And by this time,

The Leader had called all the cool kids in

Even the boys

To witness.

And I thought

This is it! I'm going to fit in after all!

But they started chanting

"Dog Fight! Dog Fight!"

Until the vice principal broke everything up.

And now I'm here,

Talking to you.

87 And that's why I hate this school.

Are you going to put this on my record?

Scene 5A: Fire

(Sound ofkids laughing as light fades. Laughter starts out fun and then gets more and more cruel, and then becomes sound ofkids screaming with fire roaring in the background. ..then there is the sound ofwater being poured. Lights come back onto

SHE, who holds a watering can over the pile ofpapers, which had been burnt previously.

SHE stretches, tired, andpulls a ratty dress ofthe clothes line to cover herselfas she lounges on the chair. SHE falls asleep, and Marriage movementpiece begins in which

She slips her arms into the dress and She does a wedding march to a cover of"Some Day my Prince Will Come" using a gestural sequence that utilize gestures such as Sleeping

Beauty being awoken by a kiss, Cinderella stepping into a slipper, Rapunzel lowering her hair, as well as other "marriage gestures" [being bound by a chord, drinkingfrom a chalice, lifting veil, stomping on a glass]. After movement piece, SHE and her imaginary husband walk into cottage. There is a blackout, and in the blackness, there is the sound of sex, then arguing, then objects being thrown, then a baby crying. The CRONE steps through the mirror.)

88 Scene 6: There are Good Mothers...

CRONE:

SHHHHHH!

[Baby shuts up abruptly}

There are good mothers

And there are bad mothers

And sometimes the good mothers are bad mothers

And sometimes the bad mothers are good mothers

And its hard to tell the difference between the two.

Ask yourself: was my mother a good mother?

Most likely the answer is yes, ofcourse she was.

She tried her best.

Does that make her a good mother?

Trying one's best?

And what exactly is one trying to do when one is trying one's best?

Be honest: was she ever a bad mother?

In those teenage years did you ever vow to never ever be like her?

Do you know what a woman's worst fear is?

To turn into her mother.

And what does a woman do to combat that fear?

89 To be the opposite ofwhat her mother was.

That is what one is trying to do when one is trying one's best.

That's what She did.

Her daughter was born

And from baby's first tear, She wanted to hide this innocent little snowdrop away from the big bad world.

But She didn't, because that was what her mother did.

They say

And you know who They is, because you have sometimes been They

They say that She was cold, that She preferred her husband's company over her own child's

I say she was trying to revive a dying marriage.

One ofthe reasons women fear turning into their mothers is that there is nothing less desirable to husbands

Than mother-in-laws

And ifa husband discovers that his wife is turning into her mother

That means he is sleeping with his mother-in-law

And

(unless the mother-in-law is Mrs. Robinson) that is not a good thing.

It is, in fact, one ofthe biggest tum-offs in the world,

90 Up there with having one's genitals chopped off.

They say She was cruel, She was becoming jealous ofher child's beauty

Let me tell you a story:

Once I saw my mother standing in front ofthe mirror

Staring at me with a look that said that she loved me and hated me at the same time.

And I looked at her in the mirror and thought,

"Please don't let me become that"

And then I felt awful

Will my daughter ever think that about me?

And as we looked at each other in the mirror,

We had never looked so much alike.

They say She was wicked, She dabbled in the black arts and would cast spells from her mirror

I say that to the untutored eye an aging woman's collection of vitamin-enriched pore shrinking anti-oxidant hypo allergenic facial treatment can indeed look like a witch's brew.

They say She was evil, She tried several times, and in several different ways, to kill her own daughter.

I say---

91 Well, does it really make a difference what I say?

And they couldn't believe that a mother could commit such deliberate atrocities against one's own child,

So they conveniently made an excuse for her:

She wasn't the child's mother, no.

She was the Step-mother.

Thus they cut the umbilical cord.

Nowadays we hear a lot ofstories about murderous mothers

Real mothers

That drown their babies

Or do battle with them on talk shows

And we make convenient excuses for them, too.

Or at least their defense attorneys do, and we swallow the excuses

Because we don't want to believe that it's a natural thing for a mother to want to destroy what she has created

Because then maybe that means our good mothers

Are potential bad mothers.

And maybe that means that we can be bad mothers, too.

92 Scene 6A: Mirror, Mirror

(CRONE leaves through the mirrorframe. We hear a baby crying. SHE comes out, and bundles the cloak on the mannikin as a baby in her arms. SHE sings "Angel" to it, and it falls asleep. SHE puts baby on the chair, and looks into mirror. She discovers a mask hanging on the mirror andputs it on. Menopause movement piece in which SHE transforms from matron to crone. Baby starts crying at the end ofthe piece, and She goes for the baby, catches sight ofherselfin the mirror, removes the mask and leaves it next to the baby, and leaves through the mirror...FAIRY GODMOTHER enters, andpicks up baby.)

Scene 7: Here We Go Again...

FAIRY GODMOTHER:

Oh, boy, here we go again...

(She notices audience)

You forgot about me, didn't you?

I knew you would...

I suppose you want to hear the end ofthe story.

{Baby stops crying}

Well...there are all sorts ofrumors, but here's what I know,

And Fairy Godmothers know everything, so it must be true.

93 She got old.

Her daughter never called her.

Her daughter, by the way, had two children,

A boy and a girl,

And she was convinced that they were the most beautiful children in the world.

And she told them so every day,

Because her mother never told her.

Well. Back to the story.

The rumor is, She moved into a cottage deep in the woods.

(MA pops out ofbaby bundle.)

MA: No, no, no. She moved into THE cottage in the woods. The same cottage...(

The Fairy Godmother persona is dropped: now it is simply She.)

SHE: Ma...can I tell the story, please?

MA: Sorry. But you have to be specific.

SHE: I WILL be specific ifyou give me a chance...

MA: It's just that the more specific you are, the more interesting the story. But

don't get too graphic. You don't want to turn them off. A couple ofthose

stories earlier were pretty violent. You'll give them nightmares.

SHE: I really don't think this is a good time to go into this right now.

MA: You're right. Continue.

94 SHE: Thank you. So, the rumor is that She ended up living in the same cottage.

You know, the cottage where they said she was almost killed? Twice? Isn't

that ironic?

MA: Don't you think? (SHE glares at MA) I'm sorry. I couldn't resist.

SHE: Don't help.

MA: I'm supposed to help, I'm your mother. I promise I will not interrupt you

again.

SHE: Thank you. And one day, the rumor is, while she was puttering around the

kitchen, she heard a little knock on her door, and she opens it to find two of

the most beautiful children in the world on her doorstep: her grandchildren.

But they had never seen her before, so they didn't know She was their

grandmother, they just knew that they were hopelessly lost in the woods, and

now there is a creepy old woman giving them lots and lots of food.

MA: Which is what grandmothers do. And that is what I would have done, ifyou

would have let me see my grandchildren.

SHE: This is not a good time for a guilt trip.

MA: I'm supposed to give you guilt trips---

SHE: You're my mother.

MA: Well, now. You've finally learned something. Congratulations. Tell the

story.

95 SHE: The children were too polite to refuse her hospitality, but their mother had

told them horrible stories about old women in the woods who liked to fatten

children up and eat them,

MA: With good reason...

SHE: So, the while She was bent over the oven pulling out a fresh batch ofcookies,

the little girl gave her a good shove, and next thing She knew she was in the

oven. And then the next thing She knew, she was dead.

MA: That's the rumor.

SHE: It's a good story, isn't it?

MA: It's a frightening story.

SHE: It was a frightening story.

MA: Do you remember anything?

SHE: I remember everything.

MA: So do I.

SHE: I know.

MA: What's the first thing you remember?

SHE: Hearing you sing to me while I was in the womb...

MA: I was an awful singer.

SHE: Yeah, but it my memory ofit was better than reality...

MA: What's the last thing you remember?

SHE: Calling for you while I was in the oven.

MA: And here I am.

96 SHE: Here you are. (To audience) And here you are. See? You got you're story.

MA: I think its time for the magic words....

SHE: And we live

MA: happily

SHE: ever after.

MA: Now sing.

Finale

She sings. As she sings, she begins to tear down the cottage andput things that had been discarded back into their places. Thefinal thing to be placed down is the cloak, which she spread'! on thejloor. She takes the sock puppet offher hand, and a movement transition happens in which she transforms into afetus in the womb, and the lights fade.

The End

97 CHAPTER 3

PRODUCTION CIRCUMSTANCES

This chapter will present an overview ofthe circumstances in which she went into production.

3.1 Thesis Committee

The circumstances surrounding the make-up ofmy thesis committee are unique, because I began the process with a different one than I ended with. Dr. Amy Shuman, was the faculty member from outside the department ofTheatre and was unable to communicate with me was as frequently as with Jeanine Thompson and Joy Reilly.

Eventually, the lack ofcommunication from Dr. Shuman became a major point of concern as my thesis project progressed. Dr. Thomas Postlewait, head ofgraduate studies for the department, advised that I replace Dr. Shuman with a member ofthe theatre faculty. One ofmy acting teachers, Bruce Hermann, had attended rehearsals as well as a performance ofthe production and was therefore familiar with my process, so I asked him to join my committee. Thankfully, he accepted.

98 3.1.1 Final Thesis Committee

Associate Professor Jeanine Thompson, Chair

Associate Professor Dr. Joy Reilly

Assistant Professor Bruce Hermann

3.2 Production Time-line

The following is the proposed production time-line for she. Generally, deadlines were met, although in some cases, deadlines were changed owing to extenuating circumstances.

Fall, 2001

New Works Lab: research, creation, rehearsal log Throughout quarter First draft ofscript September 27 First draft ofthesis (Research) September 28 Director's concept October 1 First Production Meeting (Director's Concept) October 9 or 16 Ohio Arts Presenters Network Conference October 22-24 Second draft ofscript October 15 Third draft ofscript October 31 Final draft ofscript November 26 Production Meeting (Preliminary Light Plot) November 27 Committee Showing ofScript November 27 or 29 Second draft ofthesis (Script added) December 7

Winter, 2002

Rehearsals & Tech January 8-March 4 Production Meeting (Final Lighting Design) January 8 Production Meeting February 5 Performance March 5-9 Third Draft ofthesis (Production Chapter added) March 21

99 3.3 Produenon Team

I went into the production process ofshe with a focus on maintaining a sense of collaboration with my entire production team. The production team that was assembled for this project worked with dedication, enthusiasm, and a devotion to the work that equaled my own. I will always be grateful for their participation and guidance.

3.3.1 Brea Fitzgerald, Stage Manager

When I came into the production phase ofthe process, my ideal situation was to have a stage manager who would serve as a co-collaborator and director, as in the case of previous Independent Track graduates. Unfortunately, the department had a shortage of experienced stage managers available for the Winter, 2001 quarter, indeed, they had a shortage ofvolunteers willing to stage manager for the first time. Luckily, I had seen Brea

Fitzgerald in action as the head ofthe wardrobe crew for Uncommon Clay, and was impressed with her efficiency and organizational skills. I asked her to be my stage manager, and she accepted. she was Brea's first experience stage managing. Not only did Brea prove to be an excellent stage manager, she also proved to have a wonderful eye and imagination as a participant in the collaborative process ofcreation.

3.3.2 Tatjana Longerot, Costume and Set Designer

I did not have to ask Tatjana to join my production team: she told me that she was not only going to design my costumes, but she would also design my set. This was a year before I had even written the script. Tatjana is not just my designer, she is also my

100 roommate and best friend. Our living situation allowed for late-night brainstorming sessions that lasted for hours. Her input and ideas helped me to define the parameters of the world ofthe play. Her questions encouraged me to specify some ideas and further develop others.

Before her work on she, Tatjana designed the costumes for Uncommon Clay, a new work devised by Jeanine Thompson, which was Tatjana's thesis production. Her experience in the process ofcreating a new work proved to be invaluable to my own process.

3.3.3 Mark Bernhardt, Lighting Designer

Mark's enthusiasm for this piece was apparent to me from our second production meeting, when he took me aside and shyly presented his book ofimagery he had compiled that had been inspired by the script. The pictures he showed me seemed to leap out ofmy own inner images I had when conceiving the aesthetics for the production, and it was wonderful to discover that someone who had justjoined the team shared my vision.

Mark's presence on the team also provided a much-needed male perspective. He attended rehearsals almost regularly, not only to observe the staging as it developed for the benefit ofhis lighting design, but also to provide feedback. Mark leapt into the process with an enthusiasm I could not have anticipated, and his dedication resulted in a wonderful lighting design that informed the entire world ofthe piece.

101 3.3.4 Katie Whitlock, Sound Designer

Like Tatjana, Katie had planned to be on my team before I had even written a script. Katie is a doctoral student who is writing her dissertation on collaborative theatre, therefore, she was an ideal project for her to participate in. Like Tatjana, Katie had experience with the creation ofnew works, as she was the sound designer for Uncommon

Clay. I knew Katie's work, and knew that she was a brilliant sound designer with a keen eye and a similar aesthetic to my own, but I never anticipated the dedication, imagination, and sense ofplay she would bring to she. Her sound design has become another character in the play: my characters interact, react, and create worlds with the sounds that evoke laughter, and sometimes shivers. Katie was never afraid to go further with her design, she had no limit to her imagination. In fact, at one point she created a sound cue for the end ofthe New Girl scene that was a combination offire, children laughing, people screaming and wolves growling that disturbed me so deeply I had to request that she tone it down, ifnot for the sake ofthe play, then to prevent me from having nightmares.

Katie's contribution to the collaborative process has been integral, and I will always be excited to see what ideas she has brewing inside that slightly twisted imagination ofhers.

3.4 Production Meetings

The first production for the MFA New Works was on October 16, 2001. In attendance were the production teams and creators for both pieces (minus the stage managers); Mark Shanda, producer; Jeanine Thompson, project advisor; and faculty

102 advisors from the various design areas. The meeting addressed such issues as forming a production team, budget, scheduling, and publicity. At the meeting, I presented my director's concept as well as a concept book ofimages I had assembled for the design team.

My first obstacle in the production process was revealed at this meeting: the department had yet to provide a stage manager for either production ofthe MFA New

Works. In fact, it was not clear as to whether the departmental policy indicated that it was the department's responsibility to provide a stage manager, or ifit was the creator's responsibility. This issue was an ongoing one throughout the winter quarter as we prepared to go into rehearsal in the spring.

In addition to the stage manager issue, another issue was whether it was feasible to have a sound designer. Both Kathleen and I had proposed productions that indicated the significant use ofa sound score, mainly because sound is the most portable production element ifwe are to tour these productions. In previous years, the creators ofIndependent

Track thesis projects had to either create their own sound design or do without one.

Because Katie Whitlock had signed onto the project earlier, I had created my piece with her contributions in mind. At the meeting, I was faced with the possibility ofnot being able to use her. Later in the quarter, this issue was resolved: both Kathleen and I would be able to utilize the resources ofour sound designers and the sound lab.

Mark informed us ofthe budget for MFA New Works: $500.00, or $250.00 for each piece. Despite the its small size, this was a pleasant surprise because previous MFA

New Works had a smaller budget. Also, in previous years, the Independent Track

103 students were responsible for the publicity and printing ofprograms and posters out of

their budgets. This year, the department was footing the bill for publicity materials. I am

happy to announce that she came in under budget, with about $90.00 to spare.

We had three other production meetings following the first. The second meeting,

on November 28, 2001, dealt with rehearsal space, which became a major issue when the

rehearsal process began. We were informed that the Mount Hall Studio Theatre would be

in use by a class during the winter quarter until February 15; approximately two and a

halfweeks before MFA New Works opened. While at the time ofthe meeting, we did

not anticipate this being a problem, when we began rehearsals and had to literally fight (at

some times) for rehearsal space in Drake Union, we discovered that having Mount Hall

earlier would have been beneficial to the rehearsal process.

At the third meeting on January 8, 2002, we were informed that the department

would endeavor to resolve the space issue. Unfortunately, by the time the issue was

resolved, we had a less than a week before moving into Mount Hall. This meeting also addressed the issue ofdeadlines for the final drafts ofour scripts. This proposal for a

deadline took both Kathleen and I by surprise: our advisor, Jeanine, had not given us a

deadline for a final draft while we were in rehearsal. She did not attend this meeting, and therefore was not there to provide us with advice. We were under the understanding that

the creation ofa new work was constantly evolving, even up to "tech" week. Eventually,

it was agreed that although we should tum in a final version ofthe script on the deadline,

we could make changes as necessary past the deadline date, and should inform our

production teams ofthe changes as they were made.

104 The final production meeting occurred on February 5, 2002, a full month before the opening ofMFA New Works. It is my opinion that there should have been one more meeting, after we had moved into the performance space, as plenty ofissues presented themselves during that transition. However, this meeting attempted to anticipate issues that might come up, such as loading our rehearsal props into the space, distributing keys to the stage managers, and preparing for crew watch. We were informed that we would be provided with one crew member, despite our request for one board operator and one wardrobe assistant. Our board operator would be Erin Mayhugh. Luckily, Kathleen's stage manager had an assistant, so we could have a stage manager calling the cues while two people operated the sound and re-patched lights.

The production meetings were an opportunity to present issues that we confronted in our process. In many cases, these issues were resolved, but in some instances, it was made clear to Kathleen and I that although many improvements had been made from previous years, the MFA New Works remained a low priority for the Department of

Theatre. Hopefully, as the department continues to organize its new works curriculum and creates policies regarding the Independent Track thesis projects, communication will be clearer and the work will be prioritized appropriately.

3.5 The Theatre: Mount Hall Studio Theatre

The Mount Hall Studio Theatre is a small, black box space with seating capacity ofapproximately eighty. It has a small booth in which there is a lighting board and a computer for sound cues. It is the ideal space for a project like she, because the minimal

105 technical capabilities ofthe space demand that the creator only use what is essential and maintain an actor-based production. Also, the space is very intimate: there is no physical barrier between the actor and the audience as there would be in a proscenium or even thrust theatre, thus incorporating the audience in the performance ofshe was made easier by the intimacy ofthe space.

106 CHAPTER 4

THE PROCESS

In this chapter I will discuss the rehearsal process for she. This has been the most demanding production I have ever worked on, mainly because I had to wear many hats as director, performer and playwright, and sometimes I wore the wrong hat at the wrong time. However, I believe I have become a better director, actress and playwright as a result ofthis process, and the mistakes I have made as well as the ideas that I have explored have lead to important discoveries. This chapter includes a discussion ofthe rehearsal process, my rehearsal journal, a discussion ofmy acting methodology, and the scored script.

4.1 Challenges and Discoveries

4.1.1 Why Did I Write So Many Lines (or Myself?

My first task in the rehearsal process was to memorize the script. I am a very physical performer, and I prefer not to have a script in my hand while I am exploring staging, as it can become an obstacle to fully physicalizing a character. In fact, I dislike writing blocking down because I think it is more important to memorize stage movement

107 physically instead ofintellectually. Ofcourse, for this process I had to record my movements, but luckily, I had Brea to write it down for me.

I purposely wrote the script in a form that would be easy for me to memorize. I wrote each line on the page to reflect the rhythm ofthe language: blank space on a page designated a separation ofthought, or a pause. A long line without break indicated a stream-of-consciousness that the speaker does not stop to break until the next line.

Ultimately this method worked for me: by reading the script out loud over and over again

I began to memorize the sounds and rhythms ofthe language.

However, there were some scenes that were nearly impossible to memorize until I cut them down. For example, Brea and I spent two rehearsals simply drilling the lines for the sock puppet scenes. I never had to memorize lines for two characters in the same scene before. At first I tried to memorize the scenes as though they were monologues.

This did not work, because I have to use two different voices, and sometimes I used Ma's voice for a line that was the Young Woman's. Then I memorized one character's lines while Brea read the other character's lines. I found that it was easier for me to memorize

Ma's lines if! practiced moving my hand along with her words as though I were operating a sock puppet. Eventually I put them together and basically had the scene memorized, but I still had to call "line" very frequently during that scene late into the rehearsal process. It was not until Robert Post observed the scene (I will discuss his input later in this chapter), and convinced me to make cuts to the script, that the scene began to flow. I realized that much ofthe reason why I was having difficulty memorizing this scene was because much ofwhat I was saying was unnecessary, and therefore a part of

108 me was resisting saying the lines. Interestingly enough, the lines that were the most difficult to remember were the ones that needed to be cut.

4.1.2 Robert Post: The Eye of a God

A major issue I confronted as a director was not being able to stand outside the performance. I required an observer to tell me what needed to be clarified, and what should be maintained. Luckily, I had the opportunity to share my work with Robert Post, a professional independent artist who has years ofexperience working on solo projects and much wisdom to impart. In my first presentation to him, he gave me incredibly helpful notes. He also helped me come up with the idea ofa pre-show in which I establish the conventions ofthe piece that will eventually be repeated later in the show.

In front ofhim, I improvised playing with objects and imaginatively transforming them into something else, paralleling the fairy tales that would be re-told within the body ofthe piece. For example, in that session, I made the discovery that I could establish the idea of the mirror being an object endowed with negativity by entering the space and running away from the mirror each time I was in its proximity.

Later in the rehearsal process, he suggested that I make some cuts to the script. At first I resisted the notion ofcutting some lines because I felt they were important stylistically. However, I discovered that the lines he wanted me to cut were not serving the story, and ifI simplified the piece, I would make it more powerful. Each time I met with Robert Post, I made breakthroughs in the staging and performance ofthe piece.

109 4.1.3 Blocking versus Staging

At the beginning ofthe rehearsal period, I made the decision to not worry about the transitions between each section ofthe play and to simply focus on blocking. That is to say, I concentrated on where I went in the space: when it was necessary and visually interesting to move, when it felt organic to simply stay where I was. This was probably the easiest part ofthe process for me, because all I had to do was improvise moving around the stage as I developed character choices, and be able to repeat what worked and cut what did not work.

After I had blocked the entire play, I confronted what I had been avoiding: staging the transitions. When I wrote the piece, I had originally intended for some ofthe movement pieces I had created in Spring Quarter ofthe previous school year to serve as my transitional pieces. But I reconsidered that idea when I realized that first ofall, they did not help to tell the story, and second ofall, the ideal time I wanted for the piece ofa forty-five minute would not be achieved ifI included the movement pieces. What I had to do was distill the transitions between characters down into what would be essential to tell She's story in the most visually interesting way. Although She is the title character, she has the least lines ofall the characters, therefore her story must be told visually, with universal gestures. This is the point where I got stuck, and called in my production team for help.

Collaboration has its advantages and disadvantages. Everyone wants their idea to be the one used in the final product, and therefore as a director, I run the risk ofwounding a fragile ego by not using an idea that is offered. An example is a concept that Tatjana

110 developed ofan umbilical chord made ofChristmas lights lowered from the grid during the Tug-o-war transition. After several rehearsals, I still could not justify the chord's presence in the world or its importance to the story. I had to cut the chord, so to speak. I felt awful, because Tatjana was very enthusiastic about this idea. She even conceived repeating the image ofthe umbilical chord in the final moment ofthe play. But finally I told her that I was cutting it, and thankfully, she was not too offended.

On the positive side, I had some great brainstorming sessions with my team for the transitions. Katie came up with the idea ofthe Crone lifting up her cane like a shotgun and shooting a Disney-bird: an action that set the tone for the entire piece.

Ultimately, I had to find a balance between depending on other people's suggestions when I came to a block in the road and solving the problem by myself. One ofthe transitions I had the most difficulty with was the transition in which She transforms into the Evil StepMother. I had originally planned to use a mask to symbolize this transition, but the mask disrupted the flow ofthe piece. My production team was split down the middle: some loved the mask, some thought I should cut it. Other observers who gave me feedback continued to be confused by that particular transition. Finally out offrustration, I went late at night alone into the theatre and worked on my own until I came up with a transition that worked: instead ofa full-fledged movement piece, the transition was distilled down into a simple full-body gesture. The greatest lesson I have learned as a director is to simplify whatever it is that is becoming too complicated.

111 4.1.4 Trading Hats

The other major issue in the rehearsal process ofShe was knowing when to stop directing and to start acting. I attempted to resolve this issue by inviting my peers, committee members and teachers to observe rehearsals and give acting notes later in the rehearsal period, as we approached tech week.

The observers who attended these rehearsals were Colin Sweet, and undergraduate who studied puppetry, Valerie Lucas, who taught Mask to me; Maureen Ryan, who teaches voice and has also directed me in London Cuckolds; Joy Reilly, who is not only on my thesis committee but also taught the New Works class where much ofthe script was developed; and Bruce Hermann, who is on my committee (although he was not at the time) and teaches Acting. These teachers had some very insightful notes and suggestions for my work as an actor, and I am indebted to them.

However, I noticed that even when I had observers to give me notes on my performance, I had become so accustomed to directing myselfthat I could not be in the present moment as I performed. I had a little voice in my head that chimed in every time

I made a mistake, and because ofthe "inner-director" I found it difficult to honestly commit myselfto the given circumstances ofthe play. It was not until after the production opened that I truly started to "drop in" to the characters I was portraying. I think this was one issue that I could not find a solution to until after the process was over.

This was, after all, my first experience directing myself, as well as working on a full length solo performance. I think I will find a solution to the problem with more experience.

112 Although I did not find a solution to the issue ofquieting my personal editor, I did do a great deal ofcharacter work. This project demanded that I make specific choices for a variety ofcharacters, and as a result I think that I have become a more specific actress.

4.2 Rehearsal Log

The following is the journal I kept throughout the rehearsal period for she. I began the journal after the first rehearsal, and attempted to make entries after every rehearsal, but there might be some nights where I overlooked making an entry. The journal ends on the final dress rehearsal. Discussion ofthe actual performance ofthe piece will be included in the Evaluation chapter.

January 9, 2002

Met with Brea to outline stage manager's duties and to put together a to-do list.

Because I had no one to quiz me on my lines over the break, Brea drilled me for the first and second monologue. The faster I have my lines memorized, the faster I'll be able to clarify staging.

January 11,2002

No rehearsal tonight: Brea had a family emergency. Took night offto work on final draft ofscript.

113 January 14,2002

rd Worked on scene breakdown with Breato give to designers on Wednesday, Jan. 23 •

After break, warmed up and ran through script with semi-staging for my presentation for

Robert Post on Wednesday, including movement pieces. I am not sure ifthe Tori Amos song will work at the end: considering singing shortened version or "Angel" during last moment.

I also discovered that not having props is becoming a major issue when it comes to coming up with staging. Ifwe had a defined rehearsal space instead ofwherever we can rehearse at the time, we could have a place to store props as we get them.

January 16, 2002

Met with Robert Post and presented my script with some staging. Holding the script really got in the way ofthe flow as well as clarifying character choices. Because we ran out oftime, I did not get any notes (he'll give them to me Friday), but he seemed very positive about the script. I was so exhausted after the sharing that Brea and I just worked on lines.

January 18, 2002

Second meeting with Robert Post: the major focus for this rehearsal was coming up with physical/gestural "signposts" within the story for the audience to be able to connect one part of the story with the next or the previous one. Robert made a suggestion that really resonated with me: the play is a game, and in order for the audience to play along, they must know what the rules are. Therefore, I must be able to set up the rules for the game at the beginning in order for the audience to follow along instead ofgetting stuck on details. These

114 rules are manifested as the afore-mentioned signposts: repeated gestures or movement phrases, staging conventions within the world ofthe play, places on the stage that represent specific parts of the story. The best way for me to set up the signposts are within the prologue: as the audience comes into the space, they see She playing in the attic. Her game play takes her to each "station" (mirror, chair, trunk, manikin, cottage) and therefore the audience witnesses her discovery ofthe uses ofeach place, which will be used again later in the show. Also, because I was offbook for the first two monologues, I was able to clarify the character choices not only with physical choices, but also with clarifying intention. This workshop with Robert Post has helped me to put a focus on my goals with staging. He has also made some brilliant suggestions for characterization. When I met with Brea later in the day, I worked toward getting offbook through the Psychiatrist speech.

January 21, 2002

My design team came to watch me run through the first three scenes ofthe show

(Prologue through Fairy Godmother scene). They all agreed that the prologue really does help to establish some ofthe conventions that will come up later in the piece, especially the gestures, but I have to make very specific choices as to what "games" I will play in the attic before transforming into the Crone. Katie also made a great suggestion: that I concentrate of the duality ofeach character---what "front" does the Fairy Godmother choose to putup, and what lies underneath? By having a play ofopposites, the comedy is enhanced, and it also gives each character layers. We also went over Katie's concept CD and discussed which tracks appealed to me and which tracks were not necessarily suited for the style ofthe piece.

115 January 23, 2002

Worked on the sock puppet scene....yeesh! This scene needs a lot ofwork, first of all, because it is incredibly hard to memorize: it is hard to keep track of who is talking at whattime...Maor the Young Woman...Secondofall, thepuppetaspectofthe scenerequires an incredible amount ofdiscipline and specificity. Third ofall, the scene shouldn'tjust be about talking to a sock puppet.. .its about a daughter struggling for independence from her mother. I have asked Breato bring in a video camerato work on this scene, so I can see what

I am doing. I have to move on in the staging, but I definitely have to revisit this scene more than once.

January 25,2002

Staged the Psychiatrist scene. Mark Bernhardt came in to observe, which I really appreciate, because it helps to have audience members to interact with. I have discovered a great duality with the Psychiatrist: on the surface, she is a straight-laced professional woman, but underneath she is completely id-oriented...she devours gossip with the gluttony ofa wolf, and sucks juicy stories out ofpeople like a vampire. The Psychiatrist is the wolf disguised. On a different note, the lack of rehearsal space at Drake Union is becoming increasingly frustrating. I have yet to have the same space twice for staging. This is also a major issue because I cannot store props (if! ever get them...another frustrating situation...) in a permanent rehearsal space.

Katie surprised me today with a wonderful present: a pair ofplastic eyes that I can wear on my hand to rehearse working with a sock puppet. I have asked Colin Sweetto come

116 in to work with me on the sock puppet scenes sometime next week. He's been studying puppetryand has made several puppets in the past, so I think: he's an ideal consultant.

January 28, 2002

Staged New GirllNard scene as well as the "There are good mothers..." scene.

Originally, I wrote Scene6 ("Thereare good mothers..") for a Prisonerdefendingherself to ajury. But I remembereda note from Joy Reillywhen I read the scriptto the committeelast quarter: she would liked to have seen the Crone in a scene other than just the first one. I realizedthatthis scenewas basicallythe"moral" ofthe play,and who betterto saythemoral than the Crone, who introducesthe story in the first place? Italso makes sense, becausethe

Step-Mothertransformsinto the Crone, so the Crone really is talking about herself.

When I read the show for Robert Post, he told me that Nard is the most specific character in the show. Now may challengeis to find as much specificityfor the New Girl.

I think right now with most ofmy characters, I am playing caricatures. The New Girl, for example,is a stereotypical obnoxiousstatus-orientedteenagerinsteadofa living, breathing youngadultwith insecurities and anxietiesaboutfittingin. I am surepart ofthe reasonis that as a director,I am concentratingon stagingmore so than the believabilityofeach character.

I hope my actor-mode will kick in soon...

January 30, 2002

ColinSweetcameto workwithme on the sockpuppetscenes. He toldme that Ihave a goodvocal distinctionbetweencharacters,which can be a difficult skill for puppeteersto

117 master, so that is a plus. I need to start practicing the scene in front ofa mirror to clarify

Ma's articulation ofwords, because even though my annunciation might be very clear, an audience will unconsciously read Ma's "lips" when she speaks, and if they are not articulated, part ofthe meaning will be lost. Other things Colin suggested was to clarify the physical differences between Ma and Grandma: since Ma darts around and sticks her two cents in, perhaps Grandma is a little slower(also because she's old) and more delicate. Colin compared puppet work to mask work: as a performer, I have to be aware ofvery technical things such as physical articulation and audience sight-lines as well as character choices and how different characters interact with each other and the audience. This was an incredibly productive rehearsal: Colin's input helped me as I was staging the final scene.

February 1, 2002

Since the designers will be coming in to see a run ofthe entire show on Monday, I did a practice run ofeverything, minus the transitions. I am anticipating major issues when it comes to the transitions, such as where props can be pre-set for each scene: for example, how can I sneak Ma into the cloak for the final scene? Ifonly I had props to work these problems through...

118 February 4, 2002

Good news and bad news ...

Good news: Tatjanaand I wentthrift store shopping over the weekend and purchased the majority ofmy props. Tatjana also constructed the Ma sock puppet.

Bad news: I have laryngitis out ofthe blue, so the designer run is postponed until

Wednesday.

February 6, 2002

The designer run was a great opportunity for me to explore the advantages and challenges when working with props. For example, the cloak is a LOT bigger than I anticipated, so I have to make adjustments when bundling it up to serves as the baby. We discovered that if! bundle the entire cloak up, it makes a HUGE baby, and we had to pause a few times in the run to stop giggling. Also, the transitions should notjust serve as a place where I change costumes: She has to make discoveries and decisions about which persona to take on next. The transitions still need clarification, especiallythe "Tug-o-war" transition, as right now I am still not sure what triggers the transformation into the Psychiatrist. I think the Psychiatrist is an expression of the wolf, but why would She assume that persona in reaction to "cutting the chord"? Is she protecting herself? Has she been devoured? Need to investigate this further.

When we talkedafter the run, we decided thatthe transition issues will bestbe solved when I get to rehearse in Mount Hall, as I can see where I can make entrances and exits and

119 what the timing ofeach transition is. Ideally, I would like to make each transition no more than a minute, because I want to keep the momentum ofthe story.

February 8, 2002

Had my first rehearsal in Mount Hall! I can finally have ownership ofthe space. I decided to run through the show, but to concentrate on the acting choices. The more I rehearse, the stronger my choices are becoming. Now the challenge is to make them consistent. Regarding transitions: I definitely need an outside eye for this, not only because its time for me to concentrate on the performance, but also because I need fresh ideas. I have asked Valerie Lucas to come to rehearsal next week, when I come back from Memphis. I have also talked to Bruce Hermann and he told me that he'll come to a rehearsal to give acting feedback as soon as Division Street opens.

February 13, 2002

Worked a little with Kat (Kathleen Gonzales) this evening ...she is a wonderful resource as an outside eye. Made a great discovery about the Fairy Godmother character: first ofall, a happy accident gave the Fairy Godmother a Minnesota dialect. Second ofall, the duality ofthe character is heightened ifthe Fairy Godmotherdances about on her toes and then at certain moments, She peeks through by droppingthe accent and the physicality ofthe

Fairy Godmother. We also worked on the prologue and established some ground rules for it: She will enter and exit repeatedly during the pre-show, and each time She enters, she goes straight for the trunk and then stops because she knows its forbidden. Then some sort of

120 make-believe game will happen, then She will somehow accidentally come upon the mirror, scream, call for her mother, and exit. The question is, what kind of make believe game should occur? Do I want the audience to focus completely on me from the first second that they enter the space? Or can I give them room to breathe and get acclimated to the space?

I remember when SITI did Cabin Pressure, the pre-show was a looped performance of a scene from Private Lives and because the actors were somewhat still and did not move around the space, the audience was free to focus in and out of the action until the actual

"play" began. Perhaps I should have bit ofquiet play with the stuffed rabbit...a miniaturized version ofsome ofthe transitions.

The other thing I worked on without Kat, but Brea helped me to find some choices, was the MalYoung Woman puppet scene. I decided that although Ma has a definite characterization, Young Woman is kind of in limbo. I tried it this time with more of a contrast of personality types...Ma is loud and overbearing, Young Woman quiet and intimidated by talking to strangers. We also worked the transition out ofthe "Hair" scene,

"Tug-o-War" and Brea had a cool idea: She is dragging herselfby the hair, with Ma still on her hand. She stuffs Ma in the trunk, but then the Chord is lowered from the ceiling, and she shields herself with the coat. That is how she transforms into the Psychiatrist: she is protecting herselffrom the connection to her mother.

121 Tuesday, February 19,2002

Notes from working with Robert Post on Thursday (2/14) and Monday (2/18):

• Pre-show- Must have an intense presence...do not "play at" playing, REALLY play and discover each prop. Make this a private moment. There should be some kind oftechnical transition (light/sound) that indicates thatthe show is beginning after I enter the attic for the fmal time. Also, the bunny doll should have a more specific relationship to each game. • Crone- keep Crone voice consistent (same goes for all the characters). • Ma/Young Woman- try not to move lips as much when Ma is speaking...do not be a ventriloquist, but allow Ma's articulation to be the focus. Also, there can be a lot ofcuts in this scene---not all ofthe back-and-forth is necessary. • Tug-O«Wartransition- Ma cannot let go. Make sure that is apparentbefore the tug-o war even begins. • Transitions- All ofthe transitions can be struggles ofdifferent kinds: the Psychiatrist and She can struggle for dominance using the coat. .. She can try to break out ofthe coat, and Psychiatrist keeps the coat on. • Happy Accident: (New Girl) jeansjacket looks like handcuffs during "Is this going to be on my record?") • Marriage Transition- good idea using dress and veil. ..now use arms more to signify the Prince. • There are good mothers...- can be edited; can be wordy at times. • Transition out ofCrone, into Step-Mother- flourish with cape. Think about using a bite mask so that the mask can be removed and replaced without fumbling with fastener. This entire sequence needs to be clarified as far as the through-line ofthe struggle goes.... • Here we go again...- Be sure to articulate Fairy Godmother's physicality as in previous FG scene. If Ma interrupts too much, the power of the moment of revelation will be lost. Edit these interruptions. • Finale- Vary the tempo and rhythms ofputting things away. Relationship with each piece changes.

Over all these notes are very technical, which is quite a relief. These are suggestions to make the show flow and unify each scene, rather than notes on performance quality and script problems. Valerie Lucas came to observe on Friday night, and she also helped me to clarify physical choices I have made, and also to help me edit the things that are not clear as to how they help the story. For example, the Christmas light chord lowering from the grid

122 would have been an aesthetically pleasingimage, but would have had the audience pondering its significance instead ofpaying attention to the story. I think having observers who are not over-familiar with the piece is helping me find what is essential and what is so conceptual that it gets in the way ofthe audience's experience.

Friday, February 22, 2002

Robert Post came one last night to see a run through. Because he saw Kat's show before mine, and because we started an hour and a halflate because Robert was giving Kat notes, we ended up leaving at around 11:30 pm. Right now I am so exhausted that I cannot remember the notes he gave me...and I am too tired to write down my own. My advice to future Independent Track folks: take lots ofvitamins and get as much rest as possible. My body is breaking down under the stress ofthis project, and I pray I will be back to shape by tech week.

Monday, February 25, 2002

Had a simply awful run through for Joy Reilly... .1 am so preoccupied with getting ready for tech that I have forgotten about the whole aspect ofacting...dub...the subject I am getting my degree in. While I was running through the show for Joy, I kept hearing that little director's voice in my head giving me notes as I performed. I wish she would just shut up and let me act. How do I take offthe director's cap after being the director for so long? And the bigger problem is that I have to be able to go through tech week as a director, able to make mental notes about technical issues as they happen and while I am performing so I can

123 report them to my designers later. I am worried that I won't really be able to settle into the performance ofthe piece until after we open.

Tuesday, February 26, 2002

Bruce Hermann came in to observe tonight, and to my immense relief, I had a much better run than last night. Bruce is a great audience member...he is extremely attentive, and he's the king of listening. His notes were exactly what I needed at this point. His main comments were about my need to clarify the objectives for each character: why do they need to tell their particular story? He especially had difficulty understanding the motivation behind the Crone's "Good Mother/Bad Mother" speech. I totally agree with him. Right now, I am moralizing as the Crone instead of rationalizing: there is a major difference.

When I moralize, I knowthat I am right, and I am letting the audience know that I know I am right, which is not exactly a climactic action. IfI rationalize, or seek validation, then I am engaging in both an inner struggle as well as trying to get something from the audience. I think that defining this objective is also intrinsic to the through-line ofthe entire piece: She is seeking validation for the life she has lived, the life her mother lived and the life her daughter will continue to live. There is more at stake to that action ofseeking validation than the action ofsimply telling the story ofShe's life: by telling the story, and getting others to tell the story, She will have achieved validation. Ifher story is not told, her life will have had no purpose and She will be forgotten. And isn't that part ofthe reason we all tell our stories as well as have children? So we will be remembered?

124 Wednesday, February 27, 2002· First Tech

We did a cue-to-cue rehearsal tonight. As I was skipping from one moment to the next, I realized just how well the show is ingrained in me. I just hope that skipping an opportunity for a run-through hasn't disrupted the flow ofthe entire piece. I made another realization as we went over technical cues: because I am both performing and directing, I have no way ofobserving the show outside the performance ofit. I have been focusing so much on my own performance that I forgot about the visual unity of the entire play. I suppose that is the challenge ofcollaborative work: I have to trust my designers to be able to make successful choices that are faithful to my vision. Anyway, Katie's sound design is spectacular...verging on frightening. I cannot really see Mark's design, but it feels good.

The production elements help me to embrace the world ofthe play and make my job as an actor easier.

Friday, March 1,2002· First Dress

I had all my costumes and make up and I felt beautiful! The red cape is HUGE and very difficult to maneuver around the stage. I need to reserve a bit ofrehearsal time to work with it. Another big challenge is putting the Ma sock puppet on my hand surreptitiously. It feels like I am bringing down the pace ofthe show when I fiddle with costume changes. I am not really that surprised ...that was the reason I wanted all ofthese elements earlier in the process so that I could change costume elements seamlessly....but, as the Rolling Stones said, you cannot always get what you want. ... but ifyou try sometimes....you get what you need.

125 Saturday, March 2, 2002- Second Dress

Tatjana brought a friend in who is a professional videographer. Unfortunately, he set up his camera BEHIND me, so I do not know just how much he got ofthe show. Lesson learned: play to entire house. My biggest glitch as an actor is beginning to bother me: I get mentally ahead ofmyself(I partially blame that little nagging director giving me notes mid performance), which makes me stumble on my lines. I need to start living in the moment and making discoveries instead ofgoing through the motions. I think what will help me to do that is interacting with an audience: really talking to them instead of to a bunch ofempty chairs. There will be a small audience on final dress, so I hope that will give me the push I need.

Monday, March 4, 2002- Final Dress

I was right...having an audience does help. I felt that my energy was pretty low tonight, so the energy I got from the audience in return was low. I know now that I have to put a lot of energy out there to get energy back. However, I cannot push myself onto them.. .ifI do, I'll push them away. Somehow, I have to find a good generous energy that will be returned. I am glad that I can still have fun with this piece after so much hard work.

I think that building the audience-interaction element in the show will keep it fresh because each night I will be making discoveries in a different way, depending on who is in the audience and how they react to the journey.

126 4.3 ActingMethodolgy

The acting process I have developed as a result ofmy training and experience is action-based. I focus upon what a character is doing, either physically or psychologically, rather than putting an emphasis on what a character is feeling. I have come to the conclusion (with the help ofvarious acting teachers), that emotion is a by product ofaction, not a goal. In life, we do not try to feel things, we try to do things in order to accomplish our goals. It is important that an actor make detailed decisions as to what a character wants as well as to what actions the character is making to achieve his or her objective. The more specific the choice, the more believable the character.

With that said, I should add that throughout my training, I have had to overcome a tendency to make general choices. On more than one occasion, a character I have developed has resulted as a caricature. That is, I focused on the emotional qualities of the character rather than the actions that the character takes to achieve his or her objective. However, the acting techniques and exercises developed by Sanford Meisner, taught to me by Bruce Hermann, have lead me to make more specific choices, and to more fully invest myselfin those choices moment to moment. Meisner training puts an emphasis upon putting one's attention outside oneself, and to focus on the task at hand rather than the emotions one experiences as he or she is performing a task. Ifan actor is truly doing what the character needs to do in the moment, and fully focusing his or her energy upon the action, the result is a living, breathing character living truthfully and genuinely on stage.

127 Another acting technique that has helped me to develop a more effective process has been a simple list ofpsychological actions, developed by Mira Rostova (a disciple of

Stanislavsky), entitled "The Twelve Doings," which was introduced to me by Sue Ott

Rowlands. This list, which I have utilized in scoring the script for she, helps to distill the psychological landscape ofa character into simple actions that reflect the attempt to establish control in dynamic situations. "The Twelve Doings" will be discussed in further detail in the Scored Script section.

In addition to Stanislavsky-based acting techniques, the work ofRudolph Laban has informed significantly upon my development ofcharacters, as you will see in the scored script ofshe. Laban Movement Analysis (LMA) is a comprehensive vocabulary and theory ofmovement communication that helps to systematically observe, describe, and experience the physical expression ofinner and outer states ofcharacters. Although

LMA was originally developed as a method for physical therapy, it was eventually adopted by dancers and actors as they sought to specify physical choices. Laban's work has helped me to address a character's actions on a physical level: by using LMA, I am able to identify a character's form, sequence, and dynamic ofmovement. The physical choices I make are an expression ofmy characters' psychological reality: their attitudes towards the world are reflected by the physical choices they make when relating to it. For example, the Psychiatrist character in she is a person who devours secrets, and she gets information out ofpeople by subtly intimidating them. Thus, the primary physical qualities for the Psychiatrist will be direct, quick, strong movements. Because she is also a reflection ofRed Riding Hood's wolf, the Psychiatrist moves within a plane ofaction

128 and sensuality, leading with the pelvis (and also the nose): in LMA, this plane is known as the horizontal plane. The physical expression ofthe actions that the Psychiatrist uses to get what she wants can be described in LMA as "press" and "flick," which are Effort actions.

In addition to helping me to build a character, LMA has also helped me to identify and explore my own personal preferences, or idiosyncracies, and by recognizing them, I am able to make a choice as to either utilize them or overcome them when approaching a character. Ifit is not already apparent, the element ofmovement is a major component in my approach to acting.

While movement is important to me when creating a character and performing, it is equally important to integrate the element ofvoice. I have been trained in a variety of vocal techniques, from the work ofCecily Berry to Katherine Fitzmaurice. I do not ascribe to anyone particular technique; rather, I have pulled what aspects have been effective for me from a variety ofvoice classes. I have learned the importance ofbreath support and the significance ofarticulation and try to incorporate such concepts at every moment ofperformance and rehearsal. However, one vocal concept has been particularly effective in my work on she, and that has been the use ofsupra-segmental structures of the voice, introduced to me Phil Thompson, a former professor at Ohio State who now teaches at University ofCalifornia, Irvine. Because I playa variety ofcharacters in she, it was important for me to make very specific movement and vocal choices to distinguish one character from the next. Supra-segmental vocal choices are similar to Laban

Movement Analysis in that they help to identify, describe and execute various physical

129 qualities, in this case, the physical qualities ofthe voice. While LMA helps to identify

Body, Effort, Shape, and Space ofa character's physical relationship to the world, supra segmentals describe the pitch, focus, accent, and intonation ofa character's vocal choices.

An example ofmy use ofsupra-segmental vocal choices in she has been the development ofthe character ofthe Nard. The Nard is a teenage social outcast who has a speech impediment that is most likely the source ofthe ostracism. While in rehearsal, I discovered that the lisp that I used for the Nard had the effect ofpushing my vocal focus forward, into my nose. When I make an important point as the Nard, my focus goes back into my throat. Thus the Nard uses the nasal/adenoidal supra-segmental structures. As the

Nard, I also change my breath support so that I take quick deep breaths, to say as much as possible and as quickly as possible before my listener walks away. Because there is so much urgency to speaking, the Nard tends to go up in pitch when emphasizing an idea, which also makes my voice squeaky and mouse-like. A sharp contrast to the Nard's voice are the vocal choices I have made for Ma the sock puppet, who has a raspy, guttural voice which is low in pitch and increases in volume when emphasizing ideas. Having knowledge ofthe supra-segmentals has helped me to identify the spectrum ofvocal choices and to create unique, living characters with their own voices.

All ofthe elements ofmy process as an actress have been integrated in order to obtain a level ofperformance that is specific, detailed, confident and seemingly effortless.

Ultimately, I want to develop a mode ofperformance that allows me to live truthfully within imaginary given circumstances ofevery play that I perform in, in any style.

130 4.4 Key to Scoring Terms and Abbreviations

As mentioned in the previous section, the approach to the performance ofshe has been action-based. The following scored script reflects this approach through the notation of psychological actions in the left column and physical actions and blocking notes in the right column. The script appears in the center column. Some ofthe stage directions are slightly different than what actually appeared in the production, but I have left the script in its final form.

Because I play multiple characters, it was important for me to identify the objective and actions for each character in each scene. The character that is being portrayed is listed in bold capitals above the objective and subsequent actions at the beginning ofeach scene in the left column. In scenes in which I play more than one character, I note the character name each time the character action changes within the scene.

At the beginning ofeach scene in the right column, I have included a list of primary physical and vocal qualities for each new character that is introduced. These lists were made using Laban terminology and supra-segmental structures ofthe voice.

131 4.4.1 A Brief OverviewofMira Rostova's Twelve Doings

As previously discussed, Rostova's Twelve Doings are a quick, easy resource for identifying a character's psychological action toward accomplishing an objective. The

Twelve Doings are as follows:

• To admit- simply state a fact

• To find out- question, discover

• To convince- persuade, manipulate

• To chide- tease, correct

• To defy- to challenge, ignore, confront

• To lament- express regret or sorrow

• To demonstrate understanding- acknowledge truth

• To demonstrate anger- express extreme dislike or resentment

• To demonstrate disdain- dislike based on status

• To demonstrate disgust- dislike based on aesthetics

• To demonstrate surprise- shock, embarrassment

• To demonstrate delight- joy, happiness, satisfaction

These actions can act alone or can be colored with either ill will or good will, except for "To admit," which can have no emotional coloring ifone is stating the simple truth. Most ofthe psychological actions in the scored script are on this list, however, I have also found it helpful to use actions that are bit more descriptive in some moments.

132 4.4.2 Script NotationAbbreviations

SuperObj.- Super Objective (What a character wants ultimately)

Obj.- Objective (What the character wants within the scene)

Obs.- Obstacle (What is in the way ofachieving Obj.)

A- Action (What the character is doing to get Obj.)

Disc.: Discovery (What the character has learned)

U- Upstage

D- Downstage

R- Stage Right

L- Stage Left

C- Center

x- Cross

133 SHE Setting: SupeiObj: A cluttered atticwithgenerations of boxes andtrunkslying haphazardly about. This is a place where someone stores oldthings that To find are broken andyet too precious, too laden with memory, to throwaway. validation An oversized leather desk chair, missing a wheel, leans in one corner, for the life I Upstage Left. An old-fashioned dress-maker's mannikin rests in the have lived. shadows Upstage Right. Thefloor around Upstage Center is littered with olddiscarded linen that previous generations of children have played with andpainted. In the Doumsiage Rightcorner stands afull- length ornate mirror frame. In the Downstage Left corner, a big, beautiful steamer trunk sits awaiting curious hands toopen it. Other objects is the space are boxes filled with lwliday decorations, abandoned toys, dusty costume jewelry, tarnished trophies, yellowed children's drawings, andoldluggage thatis also used to store things thatpeople Yo) ~ have forgotten. Altlwughatfirst glance, this attic seems like avery realistic space, there is an airofhidden magic within it: this is a place of possibility. The timeofday, as indicated bylighting, is thesleepy hourof late afternoon just before sunset. Perhaps duringthe prologue, the audience hears asound-reference to thewoods outside the attic. At moments within the story, there will be changes from "real time" to the timeofmagic, however, throughout thestory the "real time" will transition into a cloudless twilight.

Prologue As the audience enters the space, they see thata Girl (She) is playing by Physicality: Rising, light, herselfwith objects in the attic. A tape deck is playing with old Disney sustained, indirect, horizontal, music. This scene is improvised. When the final audience members free flow. Obj: To take their seats, She opens the trunk (and a magical soundhappens), Effort actions: float, dab. escape the Vocal Quality: Natural world of my and discovers a tutu, which shebriefly plays with, and then a cloak.. Physical Actions: mother. As She explores the possibilities of thecloak, She transforms into the Begin sitting on floor (UR) Crone, and picks up a basket. playing with bunny. As Obs: There audience enters the theatre, are ghosts in react to someone entering the the attic. space and call for Mommy.

A: To Rush into space through lobby ...... w demonstrate (DSL),carrying bunny. Step VI anger with over trunk, stop, attempt to ill will. open it, think better of it (trunk is forbidden), begin crossing UR, trip over broom stick in middle of floor. Begin Banging broomstick on floor.

A: To defy. Banging transforms into "blind man" game, using the stick as Obs: I need a cane and bunny as seeing-eye my mother's bunny. After making a circle, protection discover mannikin (UR) with from the cane. Music: "Bibbity Bobbity scary things Boo." Create cauldron and witch's brew with lampshade as cauldron, (C) and tossing costume jewelry into lampshade, stirring with broomstick. Drop bunny into cauldron, cackle and ride the broomstick, weaving around the stage. Bump into mirror, grab bunny out of lampshade, call for Mommy, flee (DR). Obj: To Re-enter space through lobby, prove that carrying bunny, and rubbing I'm a big girl bottom. Step over trunk, stop, .... who doesn't tum to trunk, tum back to W 0"1 need her attic, pick up lampshade from mommy. center, take jewelry from lampshade, X DR to mannikin. A: Cleanup Place lampshade on floor. mess

A: Make Music: /I A Dream is a Wish cleaning up Your Heart Makes." Make fun bunny dance with mannikin, pushing mannikin further Obs.: The upstage. Bunny hangs jewelry big scary around mannikin's neck. After mirror is last necklace is hung, back drawing me away from mannikin, make in. bunny bow, curtsy to mannikin. Music: "Kiss the Girl." Lie on floor, C. "Sleeping Beauty/ Cinderella" game: bunny gives kiss, wake up, stretch. Bunny offers a slipper (mimed), put on slipper. Wedding march (X DL in diagonal line) toward trunk. Kiss bunny, begin spinning with bunny, almost bump into mirror, call for Mommy, flee (UR).

Obj.: To Re-enter space through lobby. w --...,J prove that Music: "The Age of Not I've grown Believing." Step over trunk, up. stop, look at trunk, reach for it, pause. Turn back to attic. X A: To UR to lampshade, kiss bunny demonstrate on head, place bunny in disdain for lampshade. Begin to leave UR. bunny with Music: "When You Wish Upon good will. A Star." Rush back to bunny, pick him up, cradle him in Obs: I can't arms. X to chair, UL. Spin in letting him chair, rocking bunny to sleep. go without Music: "Some Day My Prince one last Will Come." Bunny offers game. paw. Rise and begin waltzing with bunny. Toward end of song, notice mirror. A: To defy X DR to mirror, reach for it, mirror with take hand quickly away, call ill will. for Mommy. There is no Obs: It has answer; call for mommy again. more power Again no answer. Call again. than me. A: To find X UR, tum off tape player. out Kiss bunny on head, place in lampshade. Turn slowly to trunk. X DL to trunk slowly. Place hands on trunk, open -w 0Cl trunk. Sound: Magical harp gliss. Drop trunk lid. Open lid again. Sound: Extra magical harp gliss. Take tutu from trunk. Put it around waist. Do a few ballet steps Uc. Discover cloak. X back to trunk, pull cloak slowly from trunk, backing uc. Once entire cloak is pulled from trunk, begin spinning around, swirlling the cloak and laughing. After third time of spinning, wrap cloak around body, covering head. Laughter transforms into cackle. Poke hand slowly through cloak, revealing the

IICrone gesture" (hand in grotesque formation, fingers claw-like) to audience CRONE Scene 1: Apples Physicality: Enclosing, strong, sustained, direct, sagittal. Scene Obj: The Crone mimespolishing apples and hands them to theaudience Effort actions: wring, punch, To cast the members. The Crone wears a hood that keeps herface in shadow. It is press spell. not certain whether sheis an actual slightly insaneoldwoman ora Vocal Quality: creaky littlegirl pretending to bean oldlady. When the lastaudience member Physical Actions: ...... A: To gets an apple, Crone takes stage. The Crone hears a twittering Disney- w Pull hood over head and tum \0 convince esque birdsong, which distracts hermomentarily. Shepicks up herstaff slowly to audience. Make eye audience (a broom stick) and zaps thebirdwith it (this can be eithera shotgun contact with an audience that I'm a soundora lightning bolt). member SR. X DR, grab sweet old basket, take invisible apple lady. from basket and offer to audience member. Obs:The Sound: Twittering birds. damned Notice birds, ignore them birds are while giving apples to each distracting audience section (SL,DC). me. Place basket down next to mirror (DR), grab broom stick, Xc.

Broomstick IItransforms" into rifle: aim broomstick DL. Fire at invisible bird, follow it with eyes and head as it falls to the ground. Lean on broomstick. A: To CRONE: convince Everyone got their apples? with good Who said no? will. Ah... Yer t'ones with TheInvisible Apples. Obst: Yes Audience The Invisible Apples. isn't buying Ya see, I'm a poor old woman it. Not much of a budget see ...... And apples can be quite expensive .f;:o.o What with the Er Genetically Enhanced Apples being on the market Edging the Invisible Apples out--- Not that they were hot sellers to begin with-- No room for Magic when you've got Science, eh? Hold up broomstick like tap- So dancer's cane. Those with Invisible Apples,

We will have to cast a spell to make them visible. A: To chide with ill will. Now don't look at me like that. You bought the ticket, You pay the price. Its not called the magic of theatre for nothing...

So: Pull invisible apple from inside Everyone, look at your apples. cloak. Come on, come on, Don't look at me, I'm not much to look at. Mmmm... Tasty apples... Look at your apples!

A: To Look at the color of the skin. Hypnotize Some of you have green apples them. Some have yellow -~ - Some have red Obs:Some Each one is different aren't Each one is unique. paying Look closer at your apple. attention Are there blemishes? Freckles? Wrinkles? And while you are looking at your apples, Ask yourself a question. A simple question: Snap fingers: house lights turn on. A: To Did I turn off my cell phone? Demonstrate A-HA! control by Caught you! startling You would have sabotaged the entire spell! them Alright people, settle down, now... Snap fingers: house lights out. Back to the apples... Toss invisible apple in air and catch it.

A:To Apples are incredibly symbolic. Mesmerize They are an integral part of thousands of stories. them. What story is your apple from? Does your apple tempt you to bite it? What do you think your apples tastes like? Does it look like it might have been injected with a secret potion? ...- Well ~ tv There is only one way to find out. In stories with apples, The most exciting stuff happens when someone takes a bite. Are you ready for your story to begin? Well? Bring your apple to your mouth. Do you smell it? Does it smell yummy? Mmmm Tasty apple... Now open your mouth... Yes, that's it... Now... Its time! The story will begin if you take a bite! Raise broomstick in air. One Two Three Quickly crouch underneath cloak, CS.

Scene lA: Womb A Huge Chomping Sound, and the Lights go black. In the blackness we hear a thesoundof a sonogram, and thena muffled lullabye beingsung in the distance. As the lights come up in incredibly slowincrements, ...... we see what appears to be a pile offabric, a lump. The light is dim, so ~ w that wecanbarely see the lump, and the lump shifts and pulses and breathes andjust as it looks as though something will emerge from the lump, The Fairu Godmother's Head pops out. She saliS.. FAIRYG.M. Primary Physicality: Obj:To Spreading, light, quick, remind them Scene 2: Fairy Godmother indirect, vertical. of what a Effort Actions: float, dab good mother FAIRYGODMOTHER: Vocal quality: melodious, I was. slight Minnesota dialect. Boo! Physical Actions: Boo! Pop head out of cape. A: To Peek-a-boo! Jump into squat surprise [She bundles up the fabric and cradles it like an infant.} Jump into standing position Bundle cape into "Baby," CS [There is thesoundofseveral babies bawling comingfrom the audience. A: To admit. She speaks to bundle) Oh, now, there there there there There are good mothers And there are bad mothers. (Babies quietdown a little) And sometimes the good mothers are bad mothers And sometimes the good mothers are bad mothers And sometimes the bad mothers are good mothers And sometimes the bad mothers are good mothers (Babies are silent) And its hard to tell the difference between the two A: To [She looks around at audience and speaks to them) Look around at audience. demonstrate Well, hello there. ~ ~ surprise. I haven't seen most of you in a long time. A: To lament Of course, you don't remember me... with good This one here won't, I'm sure. X UL, place bundle on chair, X will Not a much of an attention span on this one. to trunk, get "wand" Its kind of a thankless job, being a Fairy Godmother. (pinwheel) and tiara. Very underrated, and most people forget about us, They tend to remember the wicked step-mothers instead. Not that I can blame you ... X toward C, trip over broom I mean, really, what does a Fairy Godmother do? stick. Help you get ready for the ball? Pick up broom stick, X to And even then, there's that annoying curfew on the spell ...so you mirror, lean broomstick against can't REALLY enjoy yourself at the ball if you're constantly mirror. watching the clock... XUc. You forget that it was me who watched over you all night when Make"magical gesture" with you had that bad dream about the man in the closet. wand. You forget that it was me who kissed your boo-boo with the X to audience member in CR magical boo-boo kiss that makes all pain go away from knees section. and elbows. Blow on wand. You forget that it was me who made sure your Christmas X to audience member in C presents were safely hidden away in an alternate dimension so section. the surprise wouldn't be spoiled on Christmas Morning. Demonstrate "boo-boo kiss." You forget that I sang you songs before you were even born and Blow on wand. that when you were born I thought there couldn't be a more X to audience member in CR beautiful sight than you. section.

Blow on wand. X to C, spin. Stop spinning, and gesture to entire audience. ~ -VI A: To She had a Fairy Godmother, you know. convince (Pause) with good Oh, no, not her...(Referring to baby) Gesture to baby in chair with will. She. wand. The one you came to hear about. Make"she" pose (a balletic Obs:SHEis When She was born, pose with pointed toes, raised rememberin Her Fairy Godmother told her that she was the most beautiful arms, etc.) Sound effect: harp g the bad girl in the world gliss. mother And She believed her Fairy Godmother Begin to spin and dance, DC: Because her Fairy Godmother also told her that Fairy gesture with wand toward face Godmothers know everything on "beautiful girl in the And so it must be true. world." Tap head with wand on "know everything." SHE Stop spinning, facing mirror. (dropping Perhaps that is part of the reason She did what she did... FG persona) X slowly toward mirror DR. *Discovery I never thought about it that way before... A: Reach hand up, almost Demonstrate touching mirror. understandi ng. FAIRYGM X backwards to UC quickly: a A: To defy Well, back to the story. cross between a ballet move with good and being puled by an -.. will ~ invisible force. 0'1 Her Fairy Godmother loved her very much, At UC, strike"she" pose. And would do anything for her, Sound effect: distorted harp And so She became a somewhat spoiled little girl gliss. And began to take her Fairy Godmother for granted, Frantically spin and dance, As most little girls do. gesturing with wand toward And that's when her Fairy Godmother disappeared. ground on "spoiled" Oh, the Fairy Godmother was always there, waiting to bail her out, and you will see that She got into some trouble that only a Fairy Stop dancing, Uc. Godmother's powers could help her out of, Hold wand in front of face, But She couldn't see her Fairy Godmother any more, peek out from behind. And so She forgot that she had a Fairy Godmother. But her Fairy Godmother always remembered her. Hold wand in front of face. Tap head with wand. A: To I know, not a very exciting story. convince There will be more exciting stories to come, trust me. The point is, Strike "she" pose. There is no She had a Fairy Godmother. sound effect And believe it or not, so do you. A: To chide And your Fairy Godmother is probably slaving away for you X DL to trunk backwards, with good right now, holding back of hand to head will. Not expecting any kind of reward. in melodramatic gesture. Lean The rewarding part is knowing that if you become a Fairy backwards across trunk. Godmother, . Rise off of trunk, spin back to you will remember, Uc. and you'll do an even better job than I did Tap head with wand. And you'll be thanked even less. Spin. -~ ...... :J (Baby starts tobawl again) Stop spinning.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a job to do. X UL to chair, pick up baby

A: To Now, now, there there there there XUc. demonstrate There are good mothers understandi And there are bad mothers ng And sometimes the good mothers are bad mothers And sometimes the bad mothers are good mothers And its hard to tell the difference between the two.... SHE Begin singing. X UR to Scene 2A: Angel mannikin, drape cloak over it. Obj: To X to trunk, put wand in trunk create a safe [She crosses with herbundle Upstage. Shesingsa lullabye. The baby's with tiara. When the tutu is world. cries soften until theyare completely gone. The Fairy Godmother un taken oft voice transforms bundles the "baby, II and drapes what we realize now was the Crone's from Fairy Godmother's cloak on themannikin. Sheflicks hermagic wand at various objects operatic voice to the little girl aroundtheattic, bringingout theirpotential, perhaps there is a magical voice of She. Place tutu in glisseach time sheuses her wand. Eventually, she causes thelinen that trunk. hadbeen lying Upstage Center to rise up and creates a cottage/puppet Run DC to clothes line, hang theatre with oldbedsheets pinned together with clothes pins. As soon clothesline up. as the cottage is finished being constructed, theFairy Godmother slips Back up DC, examining offher tutu and slipsbehind thecottage, still singing. Her voice clothesline. Catch sight of transforms form theFairy Godmother's to She's and then Young mirror, X DR to mirror and Woman's, then Ma's Towards theend ofthesong, a light appears in a almost touch it, then run away window ofthecottage, and it resembles a puppet theatre. The song DC and hide behind bed sheets ..... ends, and a sock puppet, "Ma,II peeks out.) ..c::. on line. OQ While behind curtain of sheets, put sock puppets on. Voice transforms into one that sounds like a pop star. Once sock puppets are on hands, voice transforms into gravelly tone-deaf voice of Ma as hand is raised over curtain of sheets. MA Scene 3: Hair Physicality: (YW) rising, quick, indirect, vertical. Obj: To let IMA: Doesn't she have the most beautiful voice you've ever Effort actions: glide, flick daughter go. heard? Vocal Quality: (YW) high pitched, breathy Obs: (MA) gravelly, slight NY Daughter isn't ready to dialect. be alone. Physical Actions: Sock puppet looks around at audience. YW YOUNG WOMAN (YW): Ma.... Stand up so that head is obj: To let MA: What? I'm supposed to brag. I'm your mother. revealed from behind sheets. mother go. YW: But its embarrassing. MA: I'm supposed to embarrass you. I'm your mother. Obs: Mother YW: (rolls hereys) isn't ready to MA: Anyway, are you going to tell the story, or am I? be alone. YW: Let me tell it. MA: Of course. Its your day, you should tell it. YW: Okay, well, She's totally my hero. .... MA: She worships her. ~ 1.0 YW: I mean, She's a role model. You have to give her that. We can all use her life as an example for our own. MA MA: Except for that ONE thing She did... A: To chide YW YW: Of course. I meant except for that one thing She did. Can I A: To tell the story or what? convince MA: Go right ahead, just don't generalize. with ill will YW: MAl MA: Well, tell it already! YW: (To audience) You know what I mean. Each one of us has something to relate to about her. And there are so many stories, and some believe one version and some believe others. And if you believe it, you live it. MA MA: That's very nicely said, sweety. A: To YW: Thanks. (Rolls hereyes) Anyway, I like the hair story. demonstrate You know? The one where her mother made her grow her hair delight. really long and kept her locked up and then the guy came and found her and then her mom cut all her hair off and sent her into the desert? (Ma has been shakingherhead throughoutthis speech) What? MA MA: They know it. And it was a witch, not a mother. A: To chide YW: Can't a witch bea mother? MA: Sure. YW: Then what exactly is your point? MA: I was just saying... Y W: Can I tell the story, Mother? Without you correcting me every two minutes? VI -o MA: You are so sensitive. YW: Well YOU push all my buttons! MA: I'm supposed to push your buttons. I'm you're mother. YW YW: ANYWAY. My mother....well, her mother wouldn't let A: To defy her grow her hair long when she was a little girl. It wasn't that she was cruel or anything...it was just because long hair can be a pain in the butt to take care of, and my mother was always getting into things... MA: I was a little trouble-maker. YW: And her hair would have probably gotten tangled up in everything. You know...bubble gum, branches...Well, eventually it got to bea big, big issue, like a matter of life or death with my mother. MA MA: Oh, it wasn't THAT dramatic. A: To YW: Ma.... convince MA: I just wanted long hair. with ill will YW: She HAD to have long hair. MA: It was the 60's. YW YW: As soon as she turned thirteen, she started letting her hair A: To grow long. That was the magic age in our family. My convince grandmother told her that when she was thirteen, she could do with good whatever she wanted with her hair. will. MA: I could shave my head for all she cared. That's what she said. My brother was told that when he was thirteen he could start spending his allowance money instead of putting it in the bank...... YW: My uncle bought a dime bag, which my grandmother VI ...... found and flushed down the toilet. MA MA: Don't tell them that! A: To YW: Sorry. Back to the story. My mom started letting her hair demonstrate grow when she was 13. By her 14th birthday it was past her surprise shoulders with ill will. MA MA: By my 15th birthday it was almost to my tush. A: To admit. YW: By her 16th birthday it was almost to her knees. And my grandmother complained and nagged about how unpractical it was to have hair that long, but my mother ignored her and kept growing it. She took really good care of it, she wasn't a slob or anything...But most of her free time was spent grooming. MA: Its true. I had no social life. I just had my hair. YW: Finally, my grandmother asked her...(both MA and YWlook down...GrandMa is late for hercue) Um...finally my grandmother asked her.... MA: MAl GM GM's Voice: Wha? Vocal Quality: (GM) piercing, A: To MA: Time to act... high pitched, loud. convince by GM:Oh. demonstrati (Anothersock puppet pops out...it is GrandMa) Raise left arm with GrandMa on YW: Finally my Grandmother asked her.... puppet. GM: Why? Why are you devoting your life to this hair? YW: And my mother told her... MA: I'm waiting until my hair is long enough to throw out the window so I can catch a prince like a fish and escape from your house. (Beat) I was so dramatic when I was a teenager...... YW: You see? Like the story! Now my grandmother was really Vl N hurt. I mean, she wasn't keeping my mother prisoner or anything. And by this time, she was tired of finding clumps of hair allover the house. So one night, while my mother was sleeping, my grandmother took a pair of scissors and as quietly On "sleeping," Ma lies down as she could...(The sock puppets have a dramatic re-enactment...) on clothesine. GM: Snip, snip. GrandMa puppet moves as though tiptoeing toward Ma puppet. MA MA: I was furious. As you can imagine. And we had a huge Ma rises up quickly. A: To lament fight YW: And my mother packed her bags and ran away. MA: And we didn't speak to each other for a long time. YW: Thanks, Grandma....you can go now. GrandMa bows to three GrandMa bows to theaudience and goes back behind the cottage.) sections and lowers behind (Pause) sheets MA YW: My story is kind of the opposite. A: To MA: Because I didn't want to make the same mistakes my convince mother made. with ill will. YW YW: Ma...MY story. A: To defy MA: Your story. Sorry. with ill will.

MA A: To admit YW YW: My mother made me grow my hair long when I was A: To growing up. Every morning before school she would brush my Vt VJ demonstrate hair, and it would really hurt because she would just RIP the anger. brush through my tangles and I would scream and cry. And she would always say, (ImitatingMa) "If it doesn't hurt me, it doesn't MA: hurt you." And I could never figure that out and it really pissed To chide me off. And I would go to school with my scalp throbbing and with good red eyes from crying. will. MA: Such a drama queen, the way you carried on about your hair. YW A: To YW: It hurt, Ma. convince MA: It did not. with ill will MA A: Todefv. YW A: To YW: MA. (Ma shuts up) Anyway, the magic age now is 18. 18 demonstrate is when I get control of my body. delight. MA: 18 is when I stop pinching your butt. MA A: To chide with good will. YW YW: 18 is when you stop using spit to wipe my face. When I'm A: To chide 18 I can do whatever I want with my hair. MA: She can shave her head, for all I care. YW YW: Today is my 18th birthday. I have a pair of scissors. For A: To admit some reason, I can't do it. MA MA: And there's no way I can do it. I can't even watch. (Ma Lower Ma behind sheet. VI A: To lament ducks behind curtains.) ~ YW YW: So, I was wondering...could you...cut the cord, so to Remove GrandMa puppet, A: To find speak? I'm gonna need a little help with this....(She comes out take off hat, duck under out from behind the cottage toward theaudience. Suddenly, Ma grabs onto clothesline, X DC to audience. her braid and won't let ~o.) At C, swing Ma up to grab Scene 3A: Tug 0' War hair. Pull backwards quickly, (Some kind of lighting transition: we hear carnival-esque music, and X CR. Reach for audience slowlyapproaching wolf-howls. MA and Shehave a Tug-o-War battle member. Ma tugs again. Back overthebraid until finally She rips Ma offher handand stuffs the up to CL. Reach for audience puppetinto the trunk. As shestuffs Ma in the trunk, she pulls out a member. Ma tugs hair again. fur coat. The fur coat smells of something familiar. As she investigate Back up to C. Pull Ma off thefur coat by sniffing, the coat finds its wayontoherand transforms hand, run DL to trunk and into the PSYCHIATRIST, whoasshegrooms herselfin a very wolf-like throw her in. Pull out fur coat wall, occasionallu takes whiffs ofthe audience. She busies herselfwith getting ready...putting on herglasses [pulled from a pocket in the coat], as trunk closes. slippingon herhigh-heels [three sizes too big] and grabbing her Back up to C, holding fur coat briefcase [an old, beaten up suitcase]. She nodscurtly toeach section of in front of body. audience, but underneath herbusinesslike demeanor is a seductive, Sniff hand. almost feral Sniff under arms. Sniff coat. Begin to walk in a circle while sniffing coat so that coat is gradually put on while exploring the scent in the coat. Take glasses out of pocket and put them on. Sniff. Spot shoes next to mirror, DR. V'o -V'o Leading with the head, X quickly to shoes, snatch them up, sniff them. X quickly back to C, place shoes on the floor. Slip one foot at a time into shoes. Sound: Wolf howl. Stand upright, observing the audience Scratch neck in dog-like way.

PSYCH.: Physicality: advancing, quick, direct, horizontal. Obi: To get Scene 4: Dirty Little Secrets their secrets. Effort Actions: press, flick.

A: To Sniff. demonstrate Look at suitcase next to trunk, delight PSYCHIATRIST: DL. I have, Leading with head, X quickly in my hand, to suitcase. Her File. Snatch suit case. Sniff it. X back to center.

Walk in circle at C, showing suitcase to audience...... VI 0"1 A: To admit As you know, ladies and gentlemen, it would be strictly against all confidentiality agreements to share this information. However, since I am a fictional analyst Scratch neck with right hand. with a fictional patient.... Scratch neck with left hand All bets are off. A: To Shall we peruse her dirty little secrets? Run UL, to chair, sit in convince What She doesn't know won't hurt her.... seductive position with legs with good Let's see.... slightly open. will (opens suitcase andflips through papers) Place suitcase on floor. A: To She got into an awful lot of trouble, didn't she? Open suitcase briefly, take a demonstrate (Tosses theuninteresting papers into themiddle of thefloor. They are sniff, then close it as though delight. revealed to be children's drawings. Finally shefinds what sheis looking overwhelmed by the perfume. for: an oversized drawingpadfull ofpictures by She.) Open suitcase. Take out Ah! Here it is! drawings one by one, sniff This one was, them briefly and toss them I think, the most intriguing one of alL.. aside toward Uc. Take out pile of pictures by She. A: Tell the (Opens thebook to shou: audience pictureofLittle Red Riding Hood, Take first picture off pile and story then snaps thebook back to herself) show to audience. Toss on She had a predilection for danger in her pubescent years. floor toward U'C, Although she had been a quiet child, after a traumatic Incident in her grade school years She emerged as a rebellious girl. A: To It seems to me her mother was in denial of the wild streak her ...... demonstrate daughter had developed. VI -J disdain with Not surprising, of course, considering she had nearly lost the girl good will. only a few years before. A: Tell the She was a precocious girl, story And liked to attract attention, And convinced her mother, who would do anything for her, and told her on more than one occasion that She was the most beautiful girl in the world, to sew her a cloak with the brightest, flashiest, flirtiest red wool, which she wore constantly. (Slwws audience pictureofLittleRed Riding Hood, snaps book back) Show second picture to At this age, many young women experiment with their sexuality. audience, toss on floor toward Such experimentation might be expressed by wearing make-up Uc. (Slwws picture) Show third picture to Or dabbling in the occult to cast love spells on boys (Slwws audience, toss on floor. picture) Or practicing French-kissing on their pillows. (Shows picture) Show fourth picture to Or on their dogs. (Shows picture...realizes what shejust said, snaps audience, toss on floor book back.) Show fifth picture to audience, She liked to venture into the woods. toss on floor. (Flips page, and shows audience picture ofthe woods, snaps book back) When her mother asked where she went for hours on end, Show sixth picture to audience, She claimed that she was visiting her grandmother toss on floor (Flips page, shows picture ofGrandmother, snaps book back) Show seventh picture to audience, toss on floor.

Show eighth picture to ...... audience, toss on floor. Vl 00 A: To admit When she met with me, I had been told the same thing for many sessions. She clung to this alibi as if it were reality and I suppose it was her reality. A: To She finally told me that she just liked to walk through the woods Slowly lean back in chair, and demonstrate aimlessly and make up stories in her head slide down as though in a day delight with Of her dark lover, her shadow-man with dusky hair and green dream. ill will. eyes. And sometimes she would find her way to a cottage in the woods, And lie upon a bed that was covered in dust and ashes and mildew, Sit straight in chair. And take a nap. One day, she went into the woods and didn't come back. Search teams were sent after her, And finally, She was found in the cottage, With what used to be a Wolf in a nightgown lying on the bed. She was wearing her red cloak with nothing underneath. She was covered in blood. And she was chanting What big eyes! What big ears! What a big nose! What big teeth! What a big--- Over and over. A: To admit. Flips pages, shows audience pictureofdead wolf, snaps book shut) Show ninth picture to She explained to me, in our first session, audience, toss on floor. VI '0- That when she came to the cottage, she thought that it was her dark lover lying in the bed beckoning her to snuggle up. Lean back in chair, gesture And when she lay down next to the beast, with finger as though saying "come hither." Tum on right side.

A: To She was alarmed. demonstrate Not because she realized that she was lying next to a predator Stroke fur coat. surprise. with dusky fur, But because the nightgown he was wearing Sniff Reeked of a smell so familiar it repulsed her. It was the smell of her grandmother. Sniff Itwas the way her mother was beginning to smell. Sniff Itwas what She would eventually smell like, too. Sniff Rise quickly and back away from chair towards DC. A: To The Wolf must have scented her new moon's blood. Stop at DC, face audience. demonstrate The Wolf must have followed her. Sniff. understandi The Wolf must have charmed her with his soulful green eyes. Turn toward DR and sneak up ng behind mannikin (wearing red cloak). Face audience and lower glasses. A: To admit. Crosses to mannikin thathas the cloak hangingon it) She was sitting on the floor in a corner when she told me this, 0\ -o with her red cloak (Which had been worn with such devotion it reeked of young Grab a piece of the cloak and girls' perspiration and crushed leaves) bury nose in it, sniffing deeply. Draped over her head like a cowl. Quickly face audience. I asked her how she had mistaken a wolf for her grandmother, And She explained, Mime writing on a note pad.

SHE Psychiatrist takes glasses off: this is She speaking.) Take off glasses. A: To SHE: demonstrate Sometimes understandi it's hard to tell the difference ng. between the ones who love you and the ones who will eat you alive. PSYCH. Put glasses back on, cross A: To (Psychiatrist puts glasses back on) quickly to suitcase UL, sit in demonstrate PSYCHIATRIST: chair. delight with And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. ill will. One of many dirty little secrets about her that I have kept safely locked away. This story has been told in so many ways over the years, (Snaps briefcase shut) But I have it straight from the origin.

A: To Of course, most people nowadays consider her to be a heroine... Shut suitcase, put suitcase on demonstrate An innocent child defending herself against a lecherous beastie... lap. disdain with And usually in the story, granny is miraculously saved from the ill will. belly of the beast. -0\ - And perhaps, they like the story better that way. Hold suitcase in font of chest. Drum fingers on suitcase. A: To Rise, circle around the stage, convince But here are the facts, in my hand! (Holds up briefcase) presenting suitcase. with ill will. And trust me, I have had offers to sell this story, very good offers, A: To But I chose to share it with you! Stop circling, DC. convince Psychiatrist offers chair flirtatiously to each section ofaudience, but her Make eye contact with an with good offer becomes more and more desperate and she betrays herravenous audience member in C section, will. nature.) cross seductively toward Now, I'm sure you all have dirty little secrets to share... him/her. Sniff deeply. Anyone willing to let me take one down? Make eye contact with Anyone? audience member in R section, Anyone? Any---- cross to the, sniff and make a wolf-snort. Cross to L section and look for audience member, beginning to growl. SHE Snatch glasses off face. Rip Obj: Get rid Scene 4A: Getting Rid of Evidence coat off, and toss on floor. of all bad (A transformation happens: [the soundofwolves snarling and Take a whiff of body, still memories. fighting...rippingsounds...] PSYCHIATRIST metamorphs into SHE reeking of coat. Flip shoes off [discard's PSYCH. Costume], whopicks up allofthe papers from the and toss them behind curtain. A: To defy floor and places them in a pileand mimeslighting themonfire Gather up stray drawings and with ill will. [lighting and soundeffect, which turns into electronica/pop music]. place them in pile on top of SHE then transforms into NEWGIRL who wears an out-of-fashion coat, Uc. jeans jacket area 1987, and who slouches in thedesk chair with pre- Mime lighting match and 0\ -tv teen angst andwheels thechair around apathetically.) tossing match onto pile. Mime/gesture of fire: back away slowly from fire toward chair, UL. Sit in chair, turn in chair so that back is to audience. Bend over slightly, slipping jeans jacket on. When jacket is on, lean back in chair, so that face can be upside down. NEW GIRL Physicality: Sinking, Obj: To get sustained/quick, sagittal. validation Scene 5: Tangent Effort actions: wring, flick, NEW GIRL: for past I hate this school. slash actions. Don't worry, I'm not like, y'know, gonna Vocal Quality: nasal Pick up a shot gun and go on a A: To Black-trenchcoat killing-spree through the hallways demonstrate Or anything. Turn chair around to face disdain. I just, y'knowY audience, slumping in chair.

A: To Um, okay, so I hate the way Roll in chair toward C. demonstrate When you first meet someone anger. Because you're new And the principal's assigned you to a total A/V nard to ...... introduce you around 0\ w And so all the cool kids think you're the nard's friend Or cousin Or like chat-room buddy Mime typing on keyboard or something and the nard introduces you to like the Leader of the Cool People X DLto trunk And the first thing The Leader of the Cool People does ( New Girl stands on trunk) Stand on trunk. She doesn't even look at your face Or like Your eyes No A: To The first thing she looks at is your shoes Point at ground as though demonstrate You know, to check if they're brand name looking at someone's shoes. disdain. Then your jeans Speak directly to audience To see if they're designer members. Then your shirt Point slightly higher. To see if you've got like an alligator on it Speak to audience. Which used to be cool, but now its not Point higher. And eventually she'll like Speak to audience. Glance at your face for like a millisecond And if you don't qualify to be one of Them You're dismissed as just another wannabe With Payless shoes And jeans your Mom bought at Target Which your Mom calls Tar-jay To make you feel better about being poor ..... A: To But its just so tacky, okay. ~ demonstrate Everyone knows that Target is just like one tiny evolutionary anger. step up from K-Mart Which is one blink up from Wal-Mart. A: To admit Anyway So yeah, I'm poor. Jump off trunk. (Hops down from trunk) Which is not cool at this school. A: To If I were in like X to chair, C. convince (sits on chair backwards) The Hood It would be cool, Sit in chair. But only if my big brother was like a gang leader or a rapper or something A: To lament God this school. I mean, that's what its like ALL THE TIME. A: To IIt used to be convince The higher you could hairs-pray your bangs, The cooler you were. And before that it was like The more buttons you had on your jeans jacket The cooler you were. Or The more charms you had on your charm necklace The cooler you were. And they all cost money. I mean, my Mom would so not buy me a curling iron for my

01 bangs -Ul No matter how much I begged. "You're too young," she said A: To admit I Which was true, I was like 7 or 8 when that was cool And I would have totally looked like Jon-Benet or something So anyway, The Nard? The Nard who totally humiliated me by her mere presence? Well, she was all trying to make me feel better about Being dismissed by the Leader of the Cool People And she must have wanted to make friends with me, Like deep down in her heart she wanted a Flesh and blood friend instead of like Letters on a computer screen So she takes me aside A: To (Gets out ofchair, and turns itaround to now symbolize a toilet) Stand up and cross to other demonstrate Into the girls room side of chair (L). disgust Which totally freaked me out And I don't think I need to tell you why... Anyway she like comers me in a stall and says A: To "Don't worry. She's a loser." Take glasses out of pocket and convince put them on. with good Lean toward chair. will A: To That's what she sounds like. Stand upright, tum to demonstrate She's got some kind of speech impediment audience, slip glasses up. disdain That makes her spit on people. Its kind of sad...... 0\ A: To "Don't worry, she's a loser. Tum back toward chair, slip 0\ convince Girls like her glasses back on. with good They end up married to gynecologists will. And getting plastic surgery so often it's a hobby. You never hear about popular girls after they graduate Because that's the best time of their lives And its all down hill from there. But the poor kids The geeks..." A: To [She called herself a Geek! Tum toward audience, glasses demonstrate Just by saying the word Geek she automatically became more up. disdain Nardish] A: To "They're the ones that have the best stories in the end. Tum back to chair, glasses on. convince There was this girl I knew in grade school with good Whose a legend around here. will. She would be going to this school But her Mom decided to home-school her after the Tum head sharply to audience. Incident." Lighting/Sound change: step into light, slightly DC. NARD (Transition- eerymusic signifies that the pointofview changes from Physicality: retreating, light, Obj: To gain New Girl=s to Nard=s) quick, indirect, sagittal, bound acceptance. NARD: flow. Effort actions: dab, flick. A: To I knew her in grade school, before the incident. Vocal qualities: lisp, adenoidal. convince She was always pretty quiet-- well, I should say, pretty AND with good quiet. will. She was one of those BLANK girls, you know? One of those vacantly pretty girls with long eyelashes and kilt skirts, -0\ -..J Her hair was always in a painfully tight braid, A: To admit. I'm not sure WHY she was so quiet... It could have been her mother's strictness... Itcould have been her poverty... A: To I think she was so quiet because her brother was so outgoing. convince He was the golden child. with good He protected her with his shadow. will. So its no surprise, that when she had her chance She leapt at the opportunity to save him. To win some glory for herself. I think that was the start of it all. A: To admit. Although, I always wondered iffor one split second she had considered leaving him to fry. A: To They were walking to school. demonstrate Oh, I know the rumor is their parents had abandoned them to disdain with the woods because they couldn't afford to feed them, good will. But, come on,

A: To Her brother was the brave adventurous type, and he had heard convince of a shortcut. with good So he dragged her along with him into the woods and when she will got worried about getting lost, (she was always worried about something) He developed this stupid breadcrumb scheme to pacify her. He wasn't very smart.

The birds didn't eat ALL of the breadcrumbs, you know...... After 0'1 00 The incident, They combed the woods for evidence and discovered bits of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches scattered among the fallen leaves. Anyway, They DID get lost, and they were famished by the time they came upon the cottage. She didn't want to knock on the door, She had heard the stories about people who do awful things to lost children in the woods Like give them apples with razors in them, Or sell them on the black market, A: To admit Or like one time (very quickly) But this wasn't in the woods This was in Florida And I was in this dinner-theatre tour of Soundof Music when I was six I played Gretl This crazy nun A real nun, not like a Climb Every Mountain Sound of Music nun Sister Rose-Marie was my chaperone because my parents couldn't afford to go with me And I had to stay in the same hotel room as Sister Rose Marie ...... Who took like psychiatric medication like Thorazine or Prozac or 0\ 1.0 something And I had to SLEEP in the SAME BED as her And she snored And one time I got real home sick and she wouldn't let me call my mom and dad So I like threw a temper tantrum I was six And she shut me in a closet Which made me go even crazier And I was stuck in that closet for a whole day without food or water Until the mom of one of the other kids in the show broke a window and I climbed out. A: To Anyway, so bad things happen to little kids convince I I've heard all kinds of stories, I've even been in one of the stories And for a while, I was known as "The Little Girl Sister Rose Marie Locked In A Ooset" A: To admit I But I don't think there were any stories about anyone trying EAT children, That was a new one.

Anyway They were both so hungry and tired by this time that they saw some wild mushrooms growing in the forest. So they ate them. But they were ..... -...l poisonous mushrooms or o Magic mushrooms And they started to go crazy And they saw this cottage And they tried to eat it. A: To I think some cops threw that part of the story in to frighten us demonstrate out of doing drugs disdain with Like don't do drugs! They'll make you think the carpet is eating good will. you and you'll jump out a window and die like Helen Hunt in the Afterschool Special! A: To But anyway convince So when the old woman creaked open the door and offered them lots of goodies, The warnings of school assemblies and of mothers and aunties and babysitters flew out of their minds and they settled in to eat. A: To admit She wouldn't tell anyone the details of what happened in that cottage, But I noticed that she came back to school plumper than I remembered. Some stories were whispered around the playground that the old woman had fattened them up because she planned to eat them. A: To I don't know..you don't hear about many geriatric female serial convince killers. I personally think the she was just a desperately lonely old lady who had no family to care for her. A: To I don't know what happened in that cottage, but something ...... demonstrate horrific must have happened to make her do what she did...... disgust. I mean, this little girl COOKED the old woman. Shoved her in an oven and set it on broil. I hear the smell of burnt flesh was in the air around the woods for days after the incident. A: To Maybe the old woman had been abusing her and her brother. convince. Like the way that Sister Rose-Marie had treated me. Maybe she was jealous that the old woman had chosen her brother to eat first. But she came back to school with a new confidence after the incident, And would tell her story to anyone who asked While her brother lurked sullenly in her shadow. He would never talk about it. I think he was ashamed that his little nerdy sister saved his butt, Because people were expecting him to be the hero. X DC to chair, and lean Which just goes to show, towards it. It's the losers who come through in the end, And the Cool People are just coolon the outside. NEW GIRL Light/Bound change. A: To (Transition back to New Girl P.O. V) demonstrate disdain. NEW GIRL: Sit in chair, take glasses of and put them in pocket. So the Nard finished her little words of wisdom up just in time for A: To The Leader of the Cool People to walk into the girls room. Look DR (indicating area demonstrate And she stared at us crammed in a stall together. where Leader is). - surprise. And my heart stopped. t::J A: To OMyGod. demonstrate Not only does she think I'm a Nard, disgust. She thinks I'm a Lesbo Nard. A: To So before She has a chance to call her friends in to start cracking Stand up on R side of chair, convince. on me lean across chair, mime I grab the Nard by her neck and shove her head in a toilet bowl grabbing Nard's neck and and flush. flushing. Squat. Stand up on R side of chair, lean across chair, mime grabbing Nard's neck and flushing. Squat.

A: To IIAnd that's for telling stupid baby fairy tales, Reject!" demonstrate anger. A: To admit. When the Nard picked her head up Slowly stand up. she looked in my eyes And she had this weird knowing look on her face Like no matter what I said I couldn't make her cry Because she knew something I didn't A: To Which made me even madder. convince. So I flushed again Repeat flushing gesture. A: To "Hope your braces don't rust, Nard!" . demonstrate anger. A: To And by this time, demonstrate The Leader had called all the cool kids in delight. Even the boys Run in circle around stage. To witness.

-...J And I thought -VJ This is it! I'm going to fit in after all! Raise arms in victory pose. A: To But they started chanting Stop UR, lower one arm, pump lament. "Dog Fight! Dog Fight!" with other fist. Until the vice principal broke everything up. A: To admit. And now I'm here, X to chair (C), sit. Talking to you. And that's why I hate this school. A: To find Are you going to put this on my record? Begin swiveling in chair away out with ill from audience. will. Stop, tum back slightly.

SHE Scene SA: Fire Swivel in chair so back is to Obj: To find (Soundofkids laughing as lightfades. Laughter startsout fun and then audience. peace. gets more and more cruel, and then becomes soundof kids screaming A: To withfire roaring in the background...then there is the soundof water Lean over in chair with head demonstrate being poured. Lights come back onto SHE, who holds a watering can down. As Laughter builds, understandi over the pile of papers, which hadbeen burnt previously. SHE slowly bring hands to ears and ng. stretches, tired, and pullsa ratty dress of the clothes line to cover cover them. herselfas she lounges on the chair. SHEfalls asleep, andMo.rriage Wait a few beats as sound of movement piece begins in which She slips herarms into the dress and fire builds, stand up, roll chair She does a wedding march toa cover of"Some Daymy Prince Will to UL, X to UC, pick up Come" using agestural sequence thatutilizegestures such as Sleeping watering can, X US of pile of Beauty being awoken by a kiss, Cinderella stepping into a slipper, papers, mime pouring water Rapunzellowering herhair, as well asother "marriage gestures" on fire. [being bound by a chord, drinking from a chalice, liftingveil, stomping Place watering can on floor on aglass}. After movement piece, SHE andherimaginary husband next to hobby horse. walk into cottage. There is a blackout, andin the blackness, there is the Stretch and yawn...... sound of sex, then arguing, then objects being thrown, then a baby X L to hobby horse, pick up ...J crying. The CRONE steps through the mirror.) ~ dress, sit on hobby horse, cover body with dress. Lean to the side, go to sleep.

A: To Music: "Some Day My Prince demonstrate Will Come." delight. Open eyes, get kissed. Sit up, slip arm through sleeve of dress as though someone has taken hand. Slip foot into invisible slipper. Stand up. Slip other arm through sleeve, take waltzing stance. Begin to waltz in circle counter clockwise around the stage. Stop briefly at mirror, take veil and cover head. Do wedding march DL to trunk. Stop at trunk, gesture: arm binding, drinking out of goblet, throw goblet down, ...... -....J step on it. VI Lift veil, mime being dipped backward into kiss. X UR, stop, turn DS, throw veil towardC. Make"come hither" gesture to invisible Prince. Run UR behind sheets. Throw dress over clothesline. In darkness, X R behind sheets to mannikin. Make "making out" gestures so that audience can see arms. Slip cloak off mannikin, go offstage R, put cloak on. X behind audience DR, stop at other side of mirror. CRONE Scene 6: There are Good Mothers... Make"Crone gesture" Obj: To CRONE: (crooked finger to lips.) rationalize SI-lliHHHH! actions that [Baby shuts up abruptly] have made There are good mothers Place hands on mirror frame, people And there are bad mothers lean through mirror. condemn And sometimes the good mothers are bad mothers Lean back. her. And sometimes the bad mothers are good mothers Lean forward then back. And its hard to tell the difference between the two. Lean back then forward. A: To admit Step through mirror, X DC.

A: To Ask yourself: was my mother a good mother? Face mirror, make full body convince Most likely the answer is yes, of course she was. Crone gesture. --....l 0'\ with ill will. She tried her best. Does that make her a good mother? Trying one's best? Pump fist. And what exactly is one trying to do when one is trying one's best? Make full body Crone gesture. Be honest: was she ever a bad mother? In those teenage years did you ever vow to never ever be like her? Do you know what a woman's worst fear is? To turn into hermother. And what does a woman do to combat that fear? Make full body Fairy To be the opposite of what her mother was. Godmother gesture. That is what one is trying to do when one is trying one's best. Transform back to Crone. A: To admit That's what She did. Her daughter was born Bundle part of cloak up into And from baby's first tear, She wanted to hide this innocent little baby. snowdrop away from the big bad world. But She didn't, because that was what her mother did. Drop cloak. A: To chide with good They say will. And you know who They is, because you have sometimes been Point at the entire audience. They A: To admit. They say that She was cold, that She preferred her husband's company over her own child's .... -....J A: To I say she was trying to revive a dying marriage. -....J convince. One of the reasons women fear turning into their mothers Hold index finger up. is that there is nothing less desirable to husbands Than mother-in-laws Curl finger. And if a husband discovers that his wife is turning into her Hold other index finger up. mother Curl finger. That means he is sleeping with his mother-in-law And Uncurl fingers. (unless the mother-in-law is Mrs. Robinson) Wag fingers. that is not a good thing. It is, in fact, one of the biggest tum-offs in the world, Cross fingers in front of pelvis. Up there with having one's genitals chopped off . A: To admit. They say She was cruel, She was becoming jealous of her child's beauty X UR, face mirror. Let me tell you a story: Once I saw my mother standing in front of the mirror Staring at me with a look that said that she loved me and hated me at the same time. And I looked at her in the mirror and thought, SHE Pull off hood. (Pulls hood down and speaks as SHE) A: To "Please don't let me become that" demonstrate disgust. CRONE And then I felt awful Put hood back on. Will my daughter ever think that about me? A: To admit. And as we looked at each other in the mirror, We had never looked so much alike. A: To defy They say She was wicked, She dabbled in the black arts and X quickly to mirror and wave -.....:J 00 would cast spells from her mirror hands in front of it. I say that to the untutored eye an aging woman's collection Turn to audience. ofvitamin-enriched pore shrinking anti-oxidant hypo allergenic facial treatment can indeed look like a witch's brew.

A: To admit. They say She was evil, She tried several times, and in several different ways, to kill her own daughter. I say-- Well, does it really make a difference what I say? A: To And they couldn't believe that a mother could commit such convince deliberate atrocities against one's own child, So they conveniently made an excuse for her: She wasn't the child's mother, no. She was the Step-mother. Thus they cut the umbilical cord. Nowadays we hear a lot of stories about murderous mothers Real mothers That drown their babies Or do battle with them on talk shows And we make convenient excuses for them, too. Or at least their defense attorneys do, and we swallow the excuses Because we don't want to believe that it's a natural thing for a X slowly in counterclockwise mother to want to destroy what she has created circle around stage, swirling Because then maybe that means our good mothers cloak Are potential bad mothers...... And maybe that means that we can be bad mothers, too. -J "0 SHE

Scene 6A: Mirror, Mirror Begin to laugh. Laughter Obj: To (CRONE leaves through the mirror frame. We hear a baby crying. transforms into cackle as circle separate self SHE comes out, andbundles the cloak on the mannikin asa baby in her is made around stage. Cloak is from arms. SHE sings "Angel" to it, andit falls asleep. SHE puts baby on pulled over head and cackle mother. the chair, and looks into mirror. She discovers a mask hanging on the turns into sobbing. mirror andputs it on. Menopause movement piece in which SHE Obs: There transforms from matron tocrone. Baby starts cryingat the end of the Spin in circle at C, stop, crouch, will always piece, and She goes for the baby, catches sightofherselfin the mirror, call for Mommy. bea removes the mask and leaves it next to the baby, andleaves through the Sound: Baby crying connection. mirror...FAIRY GODMOTHER enters, and picks up baby.) As baby cries, remove cloak and bundle into baby. A: To defv, Cradle baby in arms, making shushing sounds. Still making shushing sounds, X DL to trunk, place baby in trunk as though it were a crib.

Baby is still crying: shush it harshly, bringing finger up to lips in Crone gesture.

Look at finger. Sound: deep hum. Look at mirror. X DR to mirror. .- Stand in facing mirror. QC) o Slowly bring hand to mirror. Back away, examining self in mirror, posing. Shush baby again, finger is curled. Gradually transform body from arms to shoulders to pelvis so that body is distorted into Crone full body gesture. Look at mirror, run to it as though to smash it. Baby cries. A: To Tum back to baby, shush it demonstrate gently, step through mirror. understandi X behind R section of audience ng to off stage R. FG Scene 7: Here We Go Again... Leap into playing space in Obj: To give FAIRY GODMOTHER: Fairy Godmother full body them a Oh, boy, here we go again... gesture. happy (She notices audience) Leap across stage DR to trunk. ending. You forgot about me, didn't you? Comfort baby. While hands Obs: There is I knew you would... are in trunk, slip sock puppet no ending. I suppose you want to hear the end of the story. on hand, bundle cloak around A: To chide hand. with good Lift baby out of trunk, rocking will. it. XtoUC...... 00 ..... A: To Well...there are all sorts of rumors, lament. but here's what I know, And Fairy Godmothers know everything, so it must be true. She got old. Her daughter never called her A: To Her daughter, by the way, had two children, demonstrate A boy and a girl, delight. And she was convinced that they were the most beautiful children in the world. And she told them so every day, A: To admit. Because her mother never told her. Slip Ma out of bundle. Let Well. Back to the story. cloak fall to the floor. The rumor is, She moved into a cottage deep in the woods. MA (MA pops out of baby bundle.) Obj: To MA: No, no, no. She moved into THE cottage in the woods. make sure The same cottage...( The Fairy Godmother persona is dropped: now it she gets the is simply She.) story right. A: To chide

SHE SHE: Ma...can I tell the story, please? Obj:To MA: Sorry. But you have to be specific. prove that SHE: I WILL be specific if you give me a chance... she has MA: Its just that the more specific you are, the more interesting learned. the story. But don't get too graphic. You don't want to turn them off. A couple of those stories earlier were pretty violent. A: To You'll give them nightmares...... 00 convince SHE: I really don't think this is a good time to go into this right IV with good now. will. MA: You're right. Continue.

A: To admit. SHE: Thank you. So, the rumor is that She ended up living in the same cottage. You know, the cottage where they said she was almost killed? Twice? Isn't that ironic? MA MA: Don't you think? (SHE glares at MA) I'm sorry. I couldn't A: To admit. resist. SHE: Don't help. SHE MA: I'm supposed to help, I'm your mother. I promise I will A: To chide not interrupt you again. SHE SHE: Thank you. And one day, the rumor is, while she was A: To admit puttering around the kitchen, she heard a little knock on her door, and she opens it to find two of the most beautiful children in the world on her doorstep: her grandchildren. But they had never seen her before, so they didn't know She was their grandmother, they just knew that they were hopelessly lost in the woods, and now there is a creepy old woman giving them lots and lots of food. MA MA: Which is what grandmothers do. And that is what I A: To chide would have done, if you would have let me see my grandchildren. SHE SHE: This is not a good time for a guilt trip. A: To chide MA: I'm supposed to give you guilt trips-c-- A: To SHE: You're my mother. demonstrate understandi MA: Well, now. You've finally learned something...... 0Cl ng. Congratulations. Tell the story. W MA A: To demonstrate understandi ng.

SHE SHE: The children were too polite to refuse her hospitality, A: To admit but their mother had told them horrible stories about old women in the woods who liked to fatten children up and eat them, with Tum to sheets. Bend over as good reason... though pulling out a batch of So, the while She was bent over the oven pulling out a fresh cookies. batch of cookies, the little girl gave her a good shove, and next Dive through the sheets. thing She knew she was in the oven. And then the next thing She Stand up, let Ma come up. knew, she was dead. Look around as though in the oven. MA: That's the rumor. Look at audience. A: To convince SHE: It's a good story, isn't it?

MA MA: It's a frightening story. A: To lament SHE SHE: It was a frightening story. A: To admit.

MA MA: Do you remember anything? A: To find

OQ out SHE: I remember everything. -~ MA MA: So do I. A: To admit SHE SHE: I know. A: To demonstrate understandi ng MA MA: What's the first thing you remember? Reach arm with Ma through A: To find the other side of sheets. out SHE: Hearing you sing to me while I was in the womb... Duck under clothesline, X to SHE Uc. A: To admit Begin to walk in a counterclockwise circle around the stage. MA MA: I was an awful singer. A: To admit SHE SHE: Yeah, but it my memory of it was better than reality... A: To demonstrate delight.

MA MA: What's the last thing you remember? Stop DC. A: To find out SHE: Calling for you while I was in the oven. SHE A: To admit

-0Cl VI MA MA: And here I am. A: To SHE: Here you are. (To audience) And here you are. See? demonstrate You got you're story. understandi MA: I think its time for the magic words.... ng SHE: And we live SHE MA: happily A: To SHE: ever after. demonstrate MA: Now sing. understandi ng.

Obj: To start Begin singing. Cradle Ma so the cycle Finale that puppet is resting on heart. over again. (She sings. As shesings, shebegins to tear down thecottage and put Slowly walk DR to trunk. things that hadbeen discarded back into theirplaces. The final thing to Gently pull Ma of hand, place A: To beplaced down is thecloak, which shespreads on thefloor. She takes in trunk. demonstrate thesock puppetoffher hand, and a movementtransition happens in Tum back to attic and look understandi which shetransforms into aJetus in the womb, and thelightsfade. around. Begin collecting paper ng. from pile, place in trunk. The End Pick up dress and coat, sniff coat, place in trunk.

Pick up bunny and tape player from UR, place gently in trunk.

Pick up cloak, drape across floor ate...... OC> 0'1 X DR to mirror. Face mirror, undo braids. Make counterclockwise circle around cloak, step into center. Hold up arms as though they are wings, slowly lower to the ground, wrap arms around body and curl into stylized fetal position, with thumb to mouth. CHAPTERS

EVALUAnON AND CONCLUSION

This project was a practical and challenging way to initiate me as an actor/creator.

I revisited and overcame some ofmy old habits and made discoveries not only about the nature ofthe art form in which I am a participant, but also about my own process as an artist. By documenting the process, I was also able to analyze and communicate the discoveries I made. I feel that this thesis project not only served its purpose as a training tool, but it also was a successful artistic endeavor in which I have carved out a niche for myselfas a professional theatre artist.

This chapter will discuss the discoveries that were made in performance, the feedback received after the production run was over, the future ofshe as a touring production and my own future endeavors as an independent artist.

5.1 Performance

5.1.1 The Audience

I do not think that I experienced what has been termed in the theatre world as a

"dead," or unresponsive audience throughout the entire run ofMFA New Works. Even if

187 the majority ofthe audience members were subdued on a particular night, I sensed that they were actively listening and following the action on stage intently. Many times as I spoke directly to audience members, I caught them nodding and smiling as though they were in an intimate conversation with me. A few times people even finished my sentences for me.

For example, during the second Crone monologue, in which she is re-telling the story ofSnow White's step-mother, there was a moment when I ask "Do you know what a woman's worst fear is?" One night, in an improvisational impulse, I turned to a section ofthe audience that had a group ofwomen and prompted: "Ladies?" Sure enough, every woman in the audience chimed together, in unison, "To turn into their mothers!" This one communal moment in which the audience was not only an active listener but also a participant in the performance embodied what I had set out to do as a theatre artist: to give the audience the responsibility for creating the theatrical experience equal to that of the performer.

By creating a world in which the audience shared in the story-telling experience, I discovered that barriers were gradually lowered, until there were seemingly no social barriers between audience and performer after the performance was over. At the beginning ofthe performance, I passed out invisible apples to the audience in the persona ofthe slightly creepy Crone. Usually audience members played along, gingerly taking the invisible apple from my clawed fingers, and beaming and laughing ifI praised them for taking it. A couple oftimes, audience members refused to take the apples, either because they were frightened ofthe Crone (which I consider to be a valid response because they

188 are already involved in the world ofthe play ifthey are having an emotional response to the characters within it), or because they simply wanted to give me a hard time.

Ironically, the people who refused to take the apple out ofmischiefwere people who knew me personally. IfI encountered a person who refused to take an apple, I moved on and gave an apple to a braver, more willing participant, but as the Crone, I would not let the non-participants offthe hook: I usually directed any line that was a gentle scold toward the people who refused to participate. Thus the rules ofthe game were set from the beginning: ifyou allow your barriers to come down and go along with me on the journey, you will be rewarded. Ifyou refuse to be engaged, you will have a tough time of it. Ultimately, I think it was those who had the bigger barriers at the beginning or the performance and who were able to overcome them that had the most rewarding experience.

Usually, after a show is done for the night, the only people who wait around to congratulate the performer are her friends. However, after every performance ofshe, I left the dressing room to find total strangers waiting to chat with me, or even to give me a hug. Even a few months after the show closed, people approached me in a friendly and familiar way to compliment me on my performance. One woman who I met recently asked if! remembered her, because she was the "lady who laughed really loud." Another gentleman proudly reminded me that I gave him an apple at the end ofthe piece. It was as though because these people had shared an experience with me, we were now able to communicate on an open and friendly basis. And the truth is, yes, I did remember them.

I recognized many ofthe audience members who approached me months after the piece,

189 because I had as much ofa communal experience with them as they did with me and with each other.

Another discovery I made during the run ofthe show was that the level of engagement of audience members varied largely based on how closely they related to the experiences ofthe characters. Most ofthe audience members who nodded and vocally participated were women. This was logical to me because the story was told from a decidedly female perspective, and focused on the relationships that mothers and daughters have. In fact, I had surrendered to the idea that men might not be as interested in the piece as women. Although women were the ones to participate during the performance, the majority ofthe people who approached me after the performance were men. I was told on more than one occasion by male audience members that they had not expected to relate to, or even like the piece, when they heard what it was about, but had they been pleasantly surprised. One young man even asked ifhe could obtain a video ofthe performance to send to his mother. Overall, the feedback I received from female audience members involved their own relationship to the narrative content ofthe piece, while men tended to want to talk to me about the artistic quality ofthe production. I was relieved to discover that even ifthe men ofthe audience did not necessarily relate to the experiences ofthe characters of she, they were engaged by the way the experiences were related to them, and that every member ofthe audience had his or her own unique and personal way ofbeing engaged in the world ofthe play.

190 5.1.2 The On-going Process

The nature ofthe creation ofnew work often requires the creator and her production team to be flexible to change as the work continues to evolve, even past the opening. Although I did not make changes to the script once we went into technical rehearsals, I did notice that my performance ofthe piece by closing night was different from the performance I had opening night. I started the run ofthe show as a nervous actor who desperately wanted everything to go smoothly, and ended the run with a new ownership ofthe piece, and viewed each performance as an opportunity to further explore the work I had created.

I attribute this change ofperformance energy and mind-set in part to an issue I dealt with throughout the rehearsal process: the need to know when to let go ofone role and take on another. The role ofthe director had latched itselfonto my psyche so deeply that, by opening night, although I connected well with the audience, the director within me reared her head preoccupied with technical issues and last-minute notes I had given myself. As a result, I tended to get ahead ofmyselfwithin the performance, that is, I anticipated the next moment instead ofliving fully within each moment. This was manifested by stumbling on lines, rushing through transitions, and ultimately giving a clumsy performance.

It was not until the third performance that I felt an ownership ofthe piece as an actor. The director within me, having seen that the show could go on without her, and would probably benefit from her absence, surrendered control ofthe piece to the actor within me. This explanation may sound like I suffer from a multiple personality disorder,

191 but it is the best way for me to describe my transformation from director to actor. A part

ofmy identity had to take dominance in order for another part ofmy identity to relinquish

responsibility. I am not sure what caused this inner transition to happen, but it may have

been that I gained confidence as an actor each time I performed the piece. I hope that ifI

ever have the opportunity to create a solo piece again, I will have learned from this

challengeand will have enough confidence in myself to get rid of the director as soon as

she loses her usefulness.

After this major transition from director to actor, I was able to view the

performanceofthe piece as an opportunity to go on a journey each night. Having

audience interaction built into the piece required me to constantly be in the moment, and to genuinelyreact to the changes ofenergy that each audience contributed each night. I also made discoveries about the inner world of She as my imagination was activated

accordingto who was in the audience.

An example is the first night my mother was in the audience. It is not a surprise that my mother's presence in the audience had heightened my sensitivity to audience reactions. While creating the piece, I had wondered many times to myself how my

mother would take the content ofthe piece, as there were so many references to our life together as mother and daughter, and not all ofthe references were positive. I was

incrediblynervous before the show the night she came. Then something happened that

provided a doorway to the world ofthe piece as well as to my own connection to the

piece. During the pre-show, I opened the trunk and pulled out the tutu as usual, and

suddenly,a thought occurred to me. My mother had wanted to be a ballerina when she

192 was young. She took ballet classes most ofher childhood, and it was her dream to be in a ballet company or a dancer on Broadway, but a snapped hamstring in her leg spoiled all ofher chances to be a professional dancer. As I slipped on the tutu, something clicked in me with a strange duality: as She, when I slipped into the tutu, I was reliving my life and my mother's life. As Allyson, when I performed a piece I had created in front ofan audience, I was embodying my dreams and my mother's dreams.

This discovery not only empowered me as an actress throughout the rest ofthe run ofthe show, but also gave me a stronger connection to She's journey. From that moment on, I looked for the hidden truths that I had yet to discover about She in each performance.

5.2 Post-Production

5.2.1 Post-Production Talk Back: ActingIDirecting Area

In the Ohio State University Department ofTheatre, after a production closes, the students and faculty ofthe acting/directing area meet to discuss and evaluate the challenges and successes within the process ofthe production. The post-production talk back for MFA New Works occurred on March 19,2002 (coincidentally, my mother's birthday). I presented a quick overview ofthe goals I had at the beginning ofthe process, the creation ofthe script, and the challenges that presented themselves throughout the work, all ofwhich has been discussed in this thesis. Then the discussion was opened up to my peers and to faculty members to give feedback and ask questions. The majority of the comments were positive: the variety ofcharacters within the piece was praised, my

193 connectionto the audiencewas commended, and the style and structureofthe piece was also appreciated. Bruce Hermannalso encouraged me to examine the issue I faced as an actor/director and to analyzehow I might be able to overcome the transition from director to actor earlier in future endeavors. After the meeting, I felt a rush ofenergy similar to the one I felt after presentingthe first draft ofmy script to Jeanine and Kathleen in our New

WorksLab. I valued the opinions ofmy peers and teachers, and to have them not only appreciate my work but to also praise it meant more to me than I had previouslyassumed it would.

5.2.2 Post-Production Meeting: Production Team

On April 4, 2002, the productionteams for MFA New Works had their final meetingto discuss the process, to make suggestionsfor improvements for future

Independent Track thesis projects, and to celebrate our successes. The majorityofthe commentsmade in the meeting pertained to the need for the DepartmentofTheatre,as the producer,to specifyits policy regardingthe support ofMFA New Works as a departmental production. I outlined concerns about the communicationofschedules regardingthe use ofrehearsal spaces and also suggestedthat the departmentprovide a propertiesstorage area in every rehearsal space that is used by a production. I also requested that the departmentclarify whose responsibilityit was to obtain a stage managerfor an Independent Track thesis project: that ofthe producer or the creator.

One ofthe issues that was discussed was that ofthe use ofsound design in the

Independent Track thesis projects. Mark Shanda expressed his concern that as creators of

194 actor-focused pieces, Kathleenand I had not kept in mind our production limitations when we wrote our scripts. The truth is, we did not know what those limitations were as we createdour scripts, and had been encouragedto write our shows as though there were no productionlimitations. As a result, Kathleen and I both created works with significant sound scores, and thus required a sound designer, which the department was not prepared to provide. Mark believesthat as actor-drivenprojects, the design elements for the productionsshould be kept to an absolute minimum. Because the sound concepts in both she and Brid~e ofBodies were intrinsic to the production, the departmentmade an exceptionto the rule and provided additional funding for sound outside the scope ofthe productionbudget. I had been unaware ofthis fact until that meeting, and am very gratefulto the DepartmentofTheatre for its support ofour endeavors. However, while I agree with Mark that the IndependentTrack thesis projects should be mainly focused on the actor, it is also a goal ofthe IndependentTrack to train the actor as the creator ofa unifiedtheatre piece that utilizes all production elements. Another goal ofthe

Independent Track thesis project is to ultimately be able to tour with the production that has been created, and I believe that sound is the most portable design element, and that it can be incrediblyevocative if designed well, as was the case in she. It is my hope that in the future, the Departmentwill provide sound designers for Independent Track thesis projects in addition to costume, set, and lighting designers.

The other issue that was discussed was the question ofownership: if we take our shows to other venues, what can we take with us? Mark informed us that whatever has been boughtor constructed specificallyfor the piece belongs to the creators ofthe work.

195 Thus, the attic beams that were constructed for she now belong to me, as do the majority ofthe props and costume pieces. Mark also told us that we can borrow any pieces that we pulled from departmental storage, (for example the trunk and the mirror frame) if we have bookings in the near future, but we were responsible for the transportation ofthe pieces.

He also encouraged us to construct more portable versions ofthose pieces we had borrowed from the department.

At the conclusion of the meeting, I took an opportunity to thank the entire team

for its contributions to an incrediblyrewarding process. Mark informed us that it was his opinion that this year's MFA New Works was the most artistically successful to date.

5.3 The Future of she and Me

After going through such an intense process as a playwright, director and actor, would I do it again? Definitely. In fact, I will be repeating the rehearsal and production process of she in the near future, if plans come to fruition. While rehearsing she, Mollie

Levin, the Artistic Director ofReality Theatre in downtown Columbus, began discussions with Kathleen and I about presenting our pieces at the Short North Playhouse, home of

RealityTheatre and Red Herring Theatre Ensemble, while the Reality Theatre season was dark. At first, we were going to try to present our work during Spring Break, but we discoveredthat we all had conflicts. The new plan is to bring she and Bridge ofBodies to the Short North Playhouse in June. Both ofour stage managers have enthusiastically signed on to the project, and we are currently in the planning phase. Thus I have entered

new territory: that of the touring artist.

196 In addition to the future opportunities for she as a touring production, the future also holds opportunities for me as an independent artist. I have recently been invited by the Ohio Arts Council to join the Roster ofArtists for their Arts in Education program.

With the program, I will lead residencies at schools and community centers across Ohio.

It is my mission to create collaborative works with the participants ofthe residencies using a similar process that I have used in the creation ofshe. I want to further explore making the personal universal by creating parallels between stories from peoples lives and folklore and myth.

5.4 Happily Ever...

Early in the research phase ofthis project I was introduced to the teachings ofCarl

Jung, who articulated the concept ofsynchronicity, or a seemingly coincidental event that is an expression ofa connection with the collective unconscious. The creation ofshe has been one that has been infused with synchronic events, and now, as a conclusion, I will relate the most significant one ofall, because it re-affirms my beliefthat this process has been a rite ofpassage for me; a path that I was meant to make.

The night before my first rehearsal ofshe, I was organizing my bedroom, a project that usually takes hours. While digging under my bed, I discovered a pile ofold cassette tapes I had brought with me in my move from Baltimore to Columbus in my first year of graduate school, but they had remained packed away for three years. Out ofcuriosity, I popped one ofthe tapes into my stereo.

197 The tape was a recording ofme when I was around six years old, alone in my bedroom, reading from a book offairy tales. True to form, I played every character in each story, and the tape ran out just as I was saying "And they lived happily ever..."

198 BIBLIOGRAPHY

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Blumenthal, Eileen Julie Taymor. Playing with Fire: Theater. Opera. Film. New York: H.N. Abrams, 1995.

Campbell, Joseph. The Hero with the Thousand Faces. New York: Pantheon Books, 1949.

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Campbell, Joseph with Bill Moyers. The Power ofMyth. Betty Sue Flowers, ed. New York: Doubleday, 1988.

Chinen, A.B. Waking the World: Classic Tales ofWomen and the Heroic Feminine. New York: Jeremy P. Tarcher, 1996.

Coffin, Tristam. Potter. The Female Hero in Folklore and Legend. New York: Seabury Press, 1975.

The Complete Brothers Grimm Fairy Tales. Lily Owens, ed. New York: Gramercy Books, 1981.

Cole, Joanna, ed. Best-Loved Folktales ofthe World. New York: Anchor Books, 1982.

199 Datlow, Ellen and Terri Windling, eds. Black Swan. White Raven. New York: Avon Books, 1997.

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-- -, eds. Ruby SliPJ>ers. Golden Tears. New York: Avon Books, 1997.

-- - ,eds. Snow White. Blood Red. New York: Avon Books, 1997.

Drain, Richard, ed. Twentieth-Centwy Theatre: A Sourcebook. London: Routledge,1995.

Durkheim, Emile. The ElementaIy Forms ofReligious Life. Carol Cosman, trans. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2001.

Dyer, T.F. Thiselton. Folk-lore ofWomen as Illustrated by LegendaIy and Traditional Tales. Folk-rhymes. Proverbial Sayings. Superstition. Etc. London: E. Stock, 1905.

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Lederer, Wolfgang. The Fear ofWomen. New York: Grune & Stratton, 1968.

200 Leeming, David and Jake Page. Goddess: Myths ofthe Female Divine. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1994.

Lincoln, Bruce. Emerging from the Cluysalis: Studies in Rituals ofWomen's Initiation. Cambridge, Mass.: Harvard University Press, 1981.

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201 Journals. Newsletters. and Periodicals

Cooper, Susan. "Womenfolk and Fairy Tales." New York Times Book Review. 13 April, 1975.

Gold, Sylviane. "The Possession ofJulie Taymor." American Theatre. Vol. 15, no. 7. September, 1998. p. 20-5.

Martin, Carol. "Anna Deavere Smith: The Word Becomes You: An Interview." TDR: The Drama Review: A Journal ofPerfonnance Studies. Vol. 37: 4. Winter, 1993. p. 45-62.

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Schechner, Richard. "Julie Taymor: From Jacques Lecoq to The Lion King." TDR. Vol. 43. Fall, 1999. p. 36-55.

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202 D. Britannica.com. "Campbell, Joseph." http://www.britannica.comleb/print?eu=20148. 9/29/01.

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M. Windling, Terri. "Snow, Glass, Apples: The Story ofSnow White." http://www.endicott-studio.comlforsga.html. 5/4/0I.

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203 APPENDIX A

PRELIMINARY ESTIMATED BUDGET: she

COSTUME

Fabric for hooded cape- 5 Y2 yds. @ $7.00/yd $ 38.50

Body Suit $ 24.00

$ 62.50

SET

Playhouse/Cottage

3/4-inch plywood- 7 sheets @ $20.76/ea. $ 145.32

2x4wood 4 studs @ $2.48/ea. $ 11.36

Casters 4 @ $6.48/ea. $ 25.92

$ 182.60

LIGHTING

Provided by department

SOUND

Provided by own collection and department

204 RESEARCH

Myth & Theatre Festival, New Orleans, June 2001

Registration Fee $ 250.00

Travel Airfare $ 180.00

Lodging $69.00/night for 4 nights $ 276.00

$ 706.00

TOTAL: $ 951.10

205 APPENDIXB PRODUCTION EXPENSE RECORD

Date Vendor Items Amount

2/3/02 Ohio Thrift Store 6 sheets, coat, gloves $ 28.55 nightgown, 3 necklaces, 2 suitcases, lampshade

2/6/02 Yankee Trader wand, tiara, shackles, $ 23.25 2 glasses, beads, ring

Jo-Ann Fabrics fabric, notions, puppet $ 26.94 hair, eyes

Big Lots bunny, tape player $ 14.98

UDF 2 C batteries $ 8.58

2/16/02 Goodwill jeansjacket, veil $ 5.23

2/24/02 World Market metal watering can $12.99

Goodwill ball cap $ 0.25

2/28/02 Target dance belt, thongs $ 21.98

Total: $ 142.75

206 APP ENDIX C

PRODUCTION PHOTOS

She The Crone

Fire

207 Invisible Apples Psychiatrist

Finale

208