Shaq Attaq New Game at Targ
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Ya’ve gone too far! What is this WORDS FROM THE nonsense?” Hold up there pal. Assuming WIZARD this album is as tame as it’s ON APRIL 17th HOUSE TARG cover would be a grave mistake, because while this album may TURNS TWO not be heavy or noisy like many and we couldn’t be more proud – huge of the things I review here, it still thanks goes out to everyone who rocks harder than a lot of what I contributes to our daily mix of killer live shows, have reviewed, and I’ve had it in delicious handmade perogies and classic arcade action – constant rotation lately. This is your support is priceless and we are forever in debt to the the Ä rst album by this psychobilly wonderful community that brings us together. Two years trio, and is essential listening for has gone by in the wink of an eye – daily challenges are met anyone who digs good ole rock n with a mix of nervous anticipation, conÄ dence and childish roll of any kind. glee as we continue to work tirelessly in order to bring you an entertainment destination like no other - welcome to the The Ä rst track “Bullet” is an instrumental (aside from the Rev’s House of TARG year 2!!! Join us on Sunday April 17th for our occasional shrieks), and sets the very special 2 year anniversary. We will be introducing a new tone for the whole album. It starts perogi to the menu + limited edition TARG Year Two 3/4 sleeve oɈ a bit murky and mysterious, rock shirts will be available for purchase & when nite falls it’s but quickly the psycho aspect of time for a special TOUGHEN UP! FREEPLAY PARTY and you psychobilly soon comes into play are invited – let’s get wild! with the Rev’s signature rockabilly style shredding (with of course the - YOGI added level of punk weirdness and intense vibes). A theme through this album which REVEREND HORTON HEAT keeps it consistently entertaining Smoke ‘Em If You Got ‘Em (and which diɈ erentiates Label: Sub Pop psychobilly from rockabilly in my Year: 1990 mind) is the frantic soloing and the aggressive and yet simultaneously HOLD UP… I KNOW cartoony songwriting. WHAT YER THINKING. Smoke ‘Em is an album that I can Now, if ya don’t know the ole highly recommend regardless of Rev but yer familiar with my what particularly subculture of rock reviews, you may see this cover n roll you consider yourself a part and think to yourself, “ Ya done of, the Rev will be sure to enthrall gone soft on us bud! What’re you with his brand of high octane ya doing? This doesn’t look like weirdo rockabilly licks. crust, noise, punk, OR metal!!! SKA JEFF’S HI-FIVES: THIS MONTH WE’RE DOING MY TOP 5 FAV SPORTS THEMED PINS. IF YOU KNOW ME, YOU KNOW I’M NOT A HUGE SPORTS FAN, BUT THESE PIN’S ARE AWESOME AND A LOT OF FUN TO PLAY. #5. WWF ROYAL #4. GRAND PRIX RUMBLE (Data East - (Williams - 1976) Love NEW GAME AT TARG: 1994) Great game with the spinners and the some tricky little shots, two independent AUTOMATED TELLER a nice long ramp shot bonus ladders. Great MACHINE on the left, and the mini tournament game!. TOP PICK playfi eld adds a good touch. We just call this cool new vid SHAQ ATTAQ “ATM” for short. You must use (1995 - Gottlieb) an Interac® Debit card to get things rolling. It’s a challenging This is my fav. game that requires the player Love the play to recall a 4 digit pin number. If fi eld and actual you are successful (& have the required credits loaded on yer moving basket, card) ATM will dispense pieces of located under the rectangular green paper featuring stadium dome rad pics of the Queen of England that challenges on them. These can be exchanged players. for delicious perogies & beer. We hope you have fun playing it & fi nd #3. VOLLEY (Gottlieb #2. MONDAY NIGHT it convenient because we got it so - 1976) Tennis anyone? FOOTBALL (Data East - that our Elixir Wizards can give you This one is addictive and 1989) Awesome pin. The faster/better service at the bar. yet has simple rules that fi eld goal ramp is a cool are hard to accomplish feature and I like the each game. concept of the player NOTE: we are cash only at the bar going down the fi eld and now so give it a go before you place scoring a touchdown. your order. in one of their videos… how cool is that? AMAZING! Do not doubt The Bangles, BangleDoubter. WIZARD FACESWAP DEAR MR. TOM: WHAT IS THE CURRENT PRICE OF SILVER? IS NOW A GOOD TIME TO INVEST? Signed – AGman Dear AGman: Silver is hovering around $20 an ounce. All indicators right now are pointing to a surge in the spot price of silver in 2016, with HEY TOMMER! MY TOILET experts predicting a new bull run that could double, even triple prices – and KEEPS ‘RUNNING’… YOU SWAP WIZARD REMI & SWAP WIZARD KEVIN & KNOW, IT FLUSHES OK, BUT in a very short amount of time. The main reason for this is that there was BEARDED WIZARD & YOU WIZARD MARK & YOU GET… YOU HAVE TO JIGGLE THE GET BIONIC BIGFOOT & MARK & KEVIN - THESE HANDLE TO STOP THAT a 19.5% drop in investor interest in 2015 that suggests most short-term HAMISH FROM BEARSHARK GUYS HAVE BEEN WORKING TRICKLING WATER SOUND. TOGETHER TOO CLOSELY! IT’S DRIVING ME NUTSO!!! investors have left the market and HELP!!! Signed – Big Water Bill silver is now in stronger hands. So go for it, AGman… the time is right!!! ICE COLD BEER Hey Big Water Bill: You’re in luck! IS BACK AT This is usually a pretty easy Ä x. It’s HELP ME SLO’: I HAVE BEEN often caused by the ‘Å apper’ not HAVING TROUBLE WITH BUTTER TARG. properly covering the water outlet. PACKAGING FOR YEARS. EVERY The darling of the TIME I GO TO USE IT I GET BITS Take the cover oɈ the tank and arcade has returned make sure that rubber part isn’t OF FOIL & PIECES OF FOOD FROM THE LAST TIME I USED IT STUCK to its rightful place. being blocked by anything. Make ICB is a challenging sure the chain thing is not catching IN MY PORTION - THEN MY on it. Sometimes it’s just worn FINGERS GET GREASY TRYING TO mechanical arcade out – go to Preston Hardware and RESOLVE THE HORRIBLE MESS. SWAP WIZARD SKA JEFF & WIZARD JORDAN & YOU GET… game released by replace it. Good luck Big Water Bill! THERE HAS GOT TO BE A BUTTER MOSTLY JORDAN’S HAIR & AN EYEBALL ACHE. Taito in 1983. Just WAY. move the ball up and HEY THERE SLO’: EVERYONE Signed – NecroButter into the illuminate THINKS THE BANGLES WERE hole. Warning - highly SO GREAT. I DON’T AGREE AT Dear Necrobutter: I’m not even addictive. Remember, ALL. WHAT DO YOU THINK? going to dignify you “quandary” with Crane Operator/Maker Signed – BangleDoubter a response. This is a serious advice Wizard Corey still has column intended to aid people who the score to beat. 229 Hey BangleDoubter: What are desperately seeking ways to improve their lives & make sense holes, that’s 22 times kind of question is this? Are you to the top plus 9 holes. crazy? Of course The Bangles of a complex world. It’s not some were great! They were originally playground for your obtuse jokes. Amazing! But don’t let called The Bangs and were part of Your pedestrian question & lame pun that intimidate you - the early 80’s LA punk / “paisley are received as a deliberate insult SWAP WIZARD VAL & POOR WIZARD STACEY it’s all aboot personal underground” scene. They even to the intelligence of my readership. WIZARD SEVIE & WELL TURNED INTO JIMINY GLICK bests - NEVER GIVE UP! talked Leonard Nemoy into being Shame on you NecroButtHead. DUH! & NOW JAMES HETFIELD HAS A SWEET BUN! WELCOME TO THE SECRET UNIVERSE OF MY TOY COLLECTION. welcome the lovely Miss Maureen and SAT APR 16 – House of TARG, her crew for another round of sweet Shade Nyx’s Theatre Macabre garage rock stylings – good times and Ashton Brewing present: guaranteed! BURLESQUE SHOW: April Showers. A GUIDE TO ALL THE CONCERTS TAKING PLACE AT It’s Rainin’ Babes! Shade Nyx is WED APR 27 – House of TARG and the once again bringing you an evening Indie Scene present: APRIL ALL AGES HOUSE OF TARG THIS APRIL. packed with Ottawa’s best burlesque, SHOWCASE A night showcasing some boylesque and bellydancing of Ottawa’s best talent, to an all ages FRI APR 1 - House of TARG and Brewing and Asher Media Relations performances *mature content* crowd. Beau’s All Natural present: BOIDS w/ & Dungeon Works present: WACKEN sg SCHOOL DAMAGE and NECK - METAL BATTLE CANADA 2016 - SUNSUN APR 17 – TARGTARG 2 YEAR THUR APR 28 – House of TARG and ANNIVERSARYANNIVERSARY FREEPLAYFREEPLAY Montreal, Toronto and Ottawa unite OTTAWA EDITION! A chance to PBR present: MOON TAN w/sg THE PARTYPARTY House of TARG, CollectiveCollective to bring you a wicked night of punk – perform at the biggest metal festival HAIG + AUTO RACING We are very in the world hangs in the balance ArtsArts Brewing Co.Co. present: excited to welcome these energetic, quick tight sets from 3 TARG favourites! TOUGHENTOUGHEN UP! w/w/ DJ KJMaxx. Join (For fans of RAMONES, NOMEANSNO, – get ready for wicked sets from funky, weirdo prog rockers to TARG – OMINOUS ECLIPSE, DIABHOLICO, the SuperSuper Mario Cart Tournament, stoked for a night of great tunes and MINOR THREAT) try our new perogi,perogi, winwin a FreePlayFreePlay SCARECROWZ, A SCAR FOR THE GoldenGolden Pass, Cake?Cake? Prizes?Prizes? We experimental music!! SAT APR 2 – House of TARG, Ottawa WICKED, CHARIOTS OF THE GOD can’tcan’t helphelp butbut pourpour our heartshearts intointo a Ska Syndicate and Ashton Brewing and SIGNS OF CHAOS party & yer invited!invited! FRI APR 29 – House of TARG and present: SKA NITE – VOICE OF THE Beau’s All Natural present: B.A.