Dear Boys of Durham Welcome to Our ’Umble

K in g s Co u r ie r KING’S COLLEGE, NEWCASTLE, IN THE UNIVERSITY OF DURHAM Vol. 4 No. 2 FRIDAY, OCTOBER 19th, 1951 Price 3d. DEAR BOYS OF DURHAM WELCOME TO OUR ’UMBLE A WEEK past Sunday Mr. Bryan Coleby and ourselves had occasion to confer with our opposite numbers in the dreary city. We arrived at Palace Green at 3.30 and, although we had telegraphed our coming, we were pleasantly surprised to find someone waiting to meet us. He turned" out to be Mr. Payne, Vice- President of Durham “Of course.” we said. S.R.C. He was a Hatfield “This here”—he kicked the man . of course. bottom of- the college until it After a preliminary skirmish trembled—“is the old city wall. we were taken to a concert for In the past j . .” the Freshers. We listened to “I told them about that, some pleasant singing and a Edwards.” delightful sketch portraying a “Right. Let’s look inside.” Castle charlady. We were The door was locked. treated to tea in town, where “I say, that’s queer, eh we were cramped but happy. Payne?” From there we traversed', in “Damned odd. Never known it numerable unnecessary hills to before.” reach the Palatinate editor’s We said nothing. digs, which are in Professor “We’ll use the end door, boys.” Colgrave's house overlooking We walked to the end door, the river. We stayed a while passing on the way what we here, talking of student councils, were obliged to believe was the newspaper publics, and other remains of a medieval .cesspool. neurotic symptoms of decadence. “Well,” we said, after the end After a swig of gin, shot through door had been banged and with vanilla essence—they said kicked and rattled for five it was Cointreau—we recon minutes,” you know your own quered the banks and reached doors better than we do . .” Hatfield. “There’s a knack in this door,” Payne replied. He lay down and Courtesy HATFIELD COLLEGE Palatinate SCOTS HOSPITALITY passed his arm through a hole “Now . | ,” they said. We near the bottom. “The game is expedition also fell off the coll gathered that the best part of to get at the latch from inside.” It was locked. We returned room attendants, who takes a with the news. They were good serious view of the conditions in and eight porters were killed. the evening was ' imminent.' “Ah, yes,” we said. He rose. Durham. Col. Bimie described the “Now, we’ll show you round, if “What it wants is someone enough to find us alternative accommodation. The liquid We received this letter in dangers involved, and explained you like.” with a longer arm.” His eye return from the Editor of that the expedition failed only We didn’t, but we gave way. roved about, exempting Coleby soap container was empty, and we used an oleatic residue Palatinate:— because of a snowstorm. He After some moments it became and indicting us. We lay on the Hatfield College Durham. concluded his very interesting evident that the most rudimen cold, dirty stones and did our which the rural editor stripped from the splashboard. 11.10.51 talk by outlining his reasons for tary precepts of hospitality best to get at the latch from What gave you the idea that believing that Mallory and were unknown in the place. So inside. “There’s no towel for you, I’m afraid.” we put soap on mushrooms? I'll Irvine reached the summit and we asked to be shown round the When we rose the others had put that cm the list of King’s ab were killed coming down. After back. They completely mis walked to the other end of the Dripping and silent we normal practices. Or is it just wards he answered the usual understood our delicate cir- back to make sure that the entered hall. We were well fed, bad writing? questions and explained the cumdiction and showed us out tradesmen’s door wasn’t open. but our favourite amusement— Hope the block will serve. objectives of the present ex to the back. Here they waved We joined them, seeking to the one with the celery—was Thanks for leaving the sheet pedition, which is making the expansively—“This is the back.” verify our suspicion that to get spoilt by the noise of conversa tion. We were introduced to the blank on this side; but, of attempt by a route never We nodded, rather distrait. We to the front door we should course, you can afford extrava previously tried. B.C. noted the gravel, the cultivated have to scramble down through assistant, editor of Durham Rag gances at K ing’s. S tory fo r wild flowers, the gravel, the the brambles, walk along the Pie, but our evening h a d original city wall, the discarded path, through the town, up the already been spoilt. you . Palatinate’s bankrupt. COL. BIRNIE AT KING’S £100 debt for the year, and no (COLONEL BIRNIE was the toothbrush, the old lavatory hill, and back through Palace Next we were shown some body to take over — assistant seats, the gravel .... Green. It was verified. Our rooms in the new block. The editor going to Oxford, news I p guest of “Courier” to tea “That’s the boathouse, down comments were interrupted by furniture was new, but the in the Union on the afternoon there.” We walked to the edge the rural editor, who began to poetry on the walls was very editor re-sitting June exams., of his lecture. of the bank and peered vacantly make a noise on the servants’ old. having failed. We found him very willing to into the evening halflight. window; gently at first, then Then across to the library. In You have my permission to talk to us about his adventures the old block there was no light laugh. Tactlessly, they prattled on . with adandoned insistence. Paul. on Everest, and particularly “Rather a good boathouse, that. “Damn her,” he said, “she in the hallway, so of course we Since receiving this letter we the difficulties of the descent Roomy, y ’know. On the river, wont come.” We tramped the tripped over a mat. Upstairs, have heard a rumour to the when his feet were frostbitten too. Very handy.” gravel until we came to a in the library, a gramophone effect that certain people sug and he had to crawl over the We said it must be. lighted bay window. At the recital was about to be set free gest an amalgamation of Courier ice to nurse a member of the “ We get all our boats into it. window stood two men. We for the benefit of the Freshers. and Palatinate. This would of expedition who had pneumonia. There’s one of yours there, in gesticulated until we discovered Riding out into the night on a course be A GOOD THING for He told us also of the Tibetan cidentally. Must have drifted they could hear us. blast of Wagnerian resonance Palatinate. lady who attached herself to down.” “The door’s been locked,” said we met a young lady looking the party on the grounds that “We’re on the Tyne.” Payne, “and we’re showing for Verdi. one of the porters was her “Eh?” people round.” We were about Cutting into Payne’s explana “EVEREST" brother. The relationship was We're on the Tyne.” to add our views when one of tion that he had gone down we Colonel E. St. J. Birnie never established. Oh! Rather odd, that!” the men left the window and escorted her to the music room. i^O L . BIRNIE began his talk Colonel Birnie is secretary of The rural editor now took opened the door. On our way back we were ^ with a brief resume of the the Children’s Society (formerly over. “That’s the river down “The door is locked at seven,” hailed by two more Freshers, history of mountaineering — Waifs and Strays) and told us there. You can see the water.” he told our guides gently. this time from St. Hilds. We how a century ago British of his work and plans in that “Beside the boathouse?” “ Yes, sir.” deputised for our hosts again. climbers, having conquered field. It transpired that he He grunted. “There’s a path The master smiled at us and All three were very charm our own mountains, turned to knew one of the boys at a local along, and no railing, so we retired. ing . Switzerland and overcame these home of the society, whom we can’t be locked out. We just nip “Now,” we said pointblank, A conference of senior peaks one by one. British have ourselves taken out for a up the bank and slip in the back “where’s the cloakroom?” students was now held, and, it climbers led the field but were day; and from there we found way. It’s hard on the nylons, of “Along there. The door being close on 9 p.m., it was not so foolhardy as Austrian a great deal to discuss about course.” marked Fire Escape.” judged that at least one pub in men, who often imperilled the various methods and aims of the town should be open. We themselves to provide a spec people who help children. entered one; one with the old tacle. We have received the follow notice, first hung in Solomon’s Attention then turned to the ing letter:— apartments: “Patrons are re Himalayas and many of these Dear Nicholson, quested to stand still while the were climbed.

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