Novena of Grace 2020 Readings: Jeremiah 18: 18-20 | Psalm 31

Novena of Grace 2020 Readings: Jeremiah 18: 18-20 | Psalm 31: 5-6, 14-16 | Matthew 20: 17-28 Grace: We pray for the grace to turn toward humility that grounds us. Greetings and welcome to our second day of the Novena. As Mary Pauline said yesterday, the themes we received from the readings for our Novena this year are “turning” and “water”. So, to begin, I would like to share with you one of my favorite passages from Leo Tolstoy’s Resurrection: ”One of the commonest and most generally accepted delusions is that every [person] can be qualified in some particular way -- said to be kind, wicked, stupid, energetic, apathetic, and so on. People are not like that. We may say of a [person] that [they are] more often kind than cruel, more often wise than stupid, more often energetic than apathetic or vice versa; but it could never be true to say of one [person] that [they are] kind or wise, and of another that [they are] wicked or stupid. Yet we are always classifying [one another] in this way. And it is wrong. Human beings are like rivers; the water is one and the same in all of them but every river is narrow in some places, flows swifter in others; here it is broad, there still, or clear, or cold, or muddy or warm. It is the same with [all of us]. Every [human being] bears within [them] the germs of every human quality, and now manifests one, now another, and frequently is quite unlike [themselves], while still remaining the same [person].” “The water is one and the same in all of them.” Have you ever been in a place where the outside world just doesn’t get it? Where the people around you are just not understanding the depth of what you are going through? You were living through a major disappointment; perhaps a rupture in a relationship, or an unexpected death, or facing being laid off, or anticipating the results of a test for a potentially serious diagnosis? All in all, a shattering of your identity, or of a relationship, or your dreams. There you were, we were, stripped of our foundations, inhabiting this strange, liminal space, disconnected from our usual moorings, suspended in a wholly new and strange realm of consciousness. Yet the world goes on, obliviously. Sometimes our well-intentioned friends or family members provide distractions in an effort to get us through. At other times they ask questions of us that reveal that they simply are not able to be with us. They would like us to return to our regular swashbuckling old selves. Or, at least, some might. For those who, themselves, have sought and found a different way through their own dark night of the soul, we can justifiably expect a more attentive and expansive response. Furthermore, we if we are honest, we can also recall a time when we ourselves were the one lacking in sensitivity, when we were the ones to wear “tin shoes [that enabled us to] walk equably forward over blood and rain.” In today’s gospel, Jesus is talking about the struggles he sees before him in Jerusalem, where he knew he was going to be crucified. Was Jesus looking for a word of comfort or support from his friends – or even a modicum of understanding? What must he have been feeling in those moments when he was revealing such heartfelt thoughts that were so raw, real, and profound? Then he is presented with a ridiculous question that revealed such a complete disregard for what he was sharing. After Jesus talked about being handed over to be mocked, scourged and crucified, James and John allow their mother to ask Jesus for positions of privilege for them in his kingdom. What was it like to be so unseen, to be so utterly alone? Jesus gives a challenging response. He asks about her sons’ ability to join to him in the suffering that will be the consequence of remaining faithful to Love. Then the disciples join in the discussion. But they, too, reveal that they don’t under- stand what is really going on. Rather than being concerned about what Jesus has just prophesied, they express their indignation over the request for the elevated positions of power. There are really two separate conversations happening here. Jesus is talking about facing death -- while everyone else is talking about places of privilege. Eckhart Tolle, the author of The Power of Now has always been a passionate seeker for truth. He was also subject to many depressive episodes. He recounts in his book that on one particular night, he woke up and felt overwhelmed with self-hatred, and hatred for everything in the world. So he decides to commit suicide. He says out loud, “I cannot any longer live with myself.” But then he has this insight: Suddenly I became aware of what a peculiar thought it was. “Am I one or two? If I cannot live with myself, there must be two of me: the ‘I’ and the ‘self’ that ‘I’ cannot live with.” Maybe… only one of them is real.” Tulle goes on to say, “I was gripped by an intense fear, and my body started to shake. I heard the words ‘resist nothing,’ as if spoken inside my chest.” So he did, he completely let go and allowed whatever to happen, and he was inundated with a peace, joy, and love which has never left him. Commenting on Tulle’s 2 experience, Dom Sabastian Moore, the influential Benedictine Theologian remarked, “It wasn't euphoria, it was something quite different, it was the Holy Spirit.” For most of us, the dynamic between what gives us life, the I or true self, and the ego, or false self, that ultimately tends to stifle life, is rarely as apparent as this. But it does come up for all of us. We have all had many experiences of coming up against this pull and counter pull between our ego and our true self. In fact, it is a daily challenge, requiring daily bread in order for the true self to prevail. In today’s gospel, Jesus is calling the disciples to their true selves. He doesn’t shame them for their aspirations but speaks to the limitations of the false self which seeks privilege and desires to make its authority felt by lording it over others. Jesus tells us that this will not be the way to greatness in his kingdom. No, if we wish to be great in the reign of God, humble service is required. Jesus is also showing us what is it is like to truly listen to one another. He doesn’t dwell on what is fleeting and superficial but engages the disciples’ true selves, speaking to deeper realities, the ones that lead to a fullness of life … and set us free. Jesus is the living water that comes to expand us in places where our river runs narrow, in whatever way our false self constricts us. He is the living water that encourages, enlivens and expands our true selves to run deeper, so that we may more often be people of compassion, forgiveness and humility. Gerry Scully Day 2 | March 11, 2020 Reflection questions: Where am I narrow and constrained right now and in need of the Spirit to flood me with love? Where am I wide and expansive in ways that inspire me to gratitude? 3 .

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