Etienne Chomé, The C-R-I-T-E-R-E Method, Introduction
Introduction
A framework of law, an authentic communication, and an effective negotiation
In conflict analysis, it is important to differentiate between three types of blocks in order to find the right remedy for each.
3 causes: Deficient structures Devalued experiences Divergent interests 3 competences: Framework of law Authentic communication Effective negotiation 3 effects: Conflict management Conflict transformation Conflict resolution
The three sources of conflict are :
1) an institutional 2) judgements, blames, requirements, 3) confrontation of different dysfunction, an bitter fruits of frustrations and interests, rivalry, organizational deficit, a resentments. Demotivations and competitions, static and legal loophole, relational complications are rooted in trench warfare, the desire to inexistent or inaccurate the lack of respect for people, for their gain the maximum that rules of the game, dignity or their identity, in the becomes the desire to prevail inadequate ones, a depreciation of their values, in the over the other, to the extent divergence in their non-recognition of their needs, in the that we are unable to work understanding, the refusal to listen to their concerns, together on a win-win impunity to infringe solution. them,
The three competences to use jointly in order to manage our conflicts better: a framework of law, an authentic communication and an effective negotiation.
In a structural deficit, a In a divergence of In a divergence of interest, effective framework of law, that a experiences, authentic negotiation uses a rational firm authority succeeds communication uses the intelligence that systematically in defining and in emotional intelligence that refocuses the discussion on the upholding, outlaws untangles complicated taking into account of the existing unacceptable violence and experiences. His strength lies interests. Then, its effectiveness lies tactics to take power over in the empathy and the in the ability to invent and imagine each other. This authority kindness that disarm new solutions. It gets free and strengthens the group poisonous words by hearing responsible commitments, a good cohesion as a means to feelings and unmet needs agreement, i.e. a wise agreement thwart attempts to behind judgements and that satisfies best everyone's needs. dominate or exploit legal blames. Its fruit is to improve loopholes. the relationship.
Etienne Chomé, The C-R-I-T-E-R-E Method, Introduction
The outlines and articulation of these three skills will become clearer throughout the course. As the hammer, the pliers and the screwdriver, they all are effective provided that they are used properly, in their own field of competence. He who uses a hammer to loosen a bolt should not be surprised by its limited effectiveness. Here are a few more features of these three skills, that should be kept in mind during the presentation of the method C-R-I-T-E-R-E:
The binding law, The empathy and kindness, Obtaining results, the the abiblity to improve the the ability to understand each ability to turn a clash framework and the rules of other in our needs, values, (either I win or I lose) into a the game every time the psychologies, cultures, search for the wisest solution dialogue is disrupted by a religions, logics of thought, (how to achieve higher gains tactic, an act of cheating or a world maps, concerns. for everyone ?). disagreement about how to play. How do we talk to each Who dialogues ? What do we talk about ? other ? The people involved The core of the problem The discussion process Respect the framework and Respect people and grow the Respect all the opposing the rules of the game and have relationship. interests. Consider the fact them respected. Set up a Care for the experiences by that the other has other deterrent penalty that makes listening in the right place, interests, that he has the right cheating costlier and less deeper than the judgements to define them and give them interesting. and blames. regard.
Some talk about managing a conflict, others about transforming it, and others about solving it. Authors usually mention these three ideas wondering which one is the most appropriate. In my approach, each one of these three perspectives plays its full role and takes only its rightful place. There is no need to choose among the three since each brings its own specificity.
The management The transformation of the conflict The resolution of the of the conflict qualifies what authentic communication is conflict is a matter for highlights the role able to achieve: decode the aggressiveness negotiation, which of the framework that comes from a frustration, translate the turns disagreements to of law that poisonous words into legitimate concerns. agreements. Solving contains the The most crucial changes assuredly take the problem as well as conflict inside the place deep inside the people. Any possible is its success limits of the field profound transformation functions from criterion. and the rules of the the inside to the outside. game.
In my thesis, effectiveness is a result of a clear distinction among these three levels of block and remedy. In my antithesis, I suggest that the use of one of these competences alone leads to a deadlock. My thesis explains that after having understood the particular field of each competence, it is important to rearticulate them closely. Neither confusion nor separation in the art of making them play together, this is the programme. I will use various images to express this synergy that enables each to fully bear fruit. In the alchemy of these three forces, the mayonnaise must be thickened as the good cook brings together eggs, oil and mustard and controls the several factors that fosters the critical moment when « the mayonnaise thickens ». The method C-R-I-T-E-R-E tries to give us the ingredients and the factors that enables us to Etienne Chomé, The C-R-I-T-E-R-E Method, Introduction dare confronting our differences and to prevent the development of the power mechanisms leading to violence.
We do not learn juggling with three balls straightaway. We start with two balls, in simple sequences, from right to left and from left to right. This book proceeds in the same way to teach how to make these three competences interplay. We learn their articulation by breaking down the movement and by practicing in twos: framework of law and authentic communication, framework of law and effective negotiation, authentic communication and effective negotiation.
The method C-R-I-T-E-R-E. How to obtain agreements from our disagreements? Even if the three competences are used at any time, they play alternately a leading role in the different stages of C-R-I-T-E-R-E :
C Agree on the Context & Conditions of the dialog The art of changing a R Agree on the Rules of the game disagreement to I Combine emotional and rational Intelligences agreements, to define the problem in depth
T Think up as many ideas as possible in 7 steps E Examine the solutions envisaged R Retain the best idea and plan it with Realism E Evaluate later the results
The acrostic C-R-I-T-E-R-E provides seven chronological1 steps: we can move to the next step only after reaching an agreement on the previous one. In the first step, we set the best conditions for dialogue. The management, transformation and resolution of a divergence need time, quietness and energy. Managing a conflict properly is similar to disentangling a knot. We must resist the temptation to simply pull more on the knot. On the contrary, we must aim to patiently loosen the intertwined strings.
The framework (Context & Conditions) and the Rules of the game are the two steps prior to the discussion itself, similar to the prerequistes of a good football match: 1) delimit the playing field (the sidelines in the length and the goal lines in the width) and organize it into areas (the goalkeeper's space, the penalty area, the halfway line), 2) have common rules and a referee, or at least pre-established procedures to deal with problems. If the football players use different rules, they inevitably are running towards a dispute, or even a fight. A variation in the framework and the regulation can generate conflict. Sometimes, it only takes a blur to trigger it.
In Two lessons about fraternal dialogue, the Belgian Father Dominique Pire, who received the Nobel Peace Prize in 1958, claims that « positive peace is the creation of a mutual understanding environment. It is the fraternal Dialogue (…) that involves, for each, to put temporarily on hold what he is, what he thinks, in order to try to understand and positively
1 These steps follow a logic order, followed also by many schools and already by John Dewey in his 1910 book How We Think ?. He gave six steps: 1) clearly define the problem, 2) express solutions freely, 3) compare the solutions, 4) choose the best solution, 5) carry out, implement, 6) assess. Etienne Chomé, The C-R-I-T-E-R-E Method, Introduction assess, even without sharing it, the point of view of the Other »2. This unbiased listening ability offers us the ideal scenario. But to achieve this, people in conflict have a long way to go, a way that the C-R-I-T-E-R-E steps try to mark out. Opposing parties will be able to commit themselves into an authentic dialogue only after investing - sometimes for a few months - in the Framework and Rules of the game: 1) Begin by giving yourself a secure framework for speech, spaces and moments out of crisis, where the protagonists truly listen to each other. 2) Get rid of unacceptable behaviours through another kind of power than the power over the other. These steps are decisive in the lawless areas, such as some playgrounds, urban suburbs, areas led underhand by mafias or areas left to armed gangs. Establishing and reinforcing the framework of law is essential where the law of the strongest rules. C and R represent all the operations needed to enable a quality exchange. As empathy needs to evolve away from power relations and power games in order to bear all its fruit, the framework of law clears the communication field.
« The departure day is not the preparations day. » Nigerian saying
Authentic communication combines with effective negotiation in the first step (emotional and rational Intelligences identifying the Interests involved), which is the core of C-R-I-T-E-R-E. A well outlined problem is already half solved. Conversely, a problem wrongly outlined brings only side solutions. Before producing any solution, we must agree on the definition of « disagreement ». Emotional intelligence has got a crucial part here: it unravels painful experiences by listening to the concerns and motivations of each. A passionate or seemingly irrational experience should not be silenced: we get rid of it by identifying the need that generates the frustration. We leave the head enough time for the heart and guts to give birth to the deeper reasons. This authentic communication process removes the resentments that would otherwise ruin the rest of the discussion. Once the people feel truly respected in their fundamentals, they are ready to think rationally about the interests at stake. A list of these different interests should be drawn up because we must focus on them when seeking a solution: « how to achieve ... and ... and ..., and … ? ». We all agree on the definition of the problem when we manage together to put the various interests into an equation: « … and … and … = ? ». Then, we can go on to the next step T : Think up and Turn up as many solutions as possible to our problem, and not the solution right away. T is the imagination in power, in an atmosphere that encourages creativity, by means of the brainstorming that relaxes us and makes us mobile. Here is the challenge: invent something new from a renewed look on the problem. The step T only comes after I but it also has to be carefully set apart the steps in which we criticize, decide and commit ourselves: Examine the various solutions possible, then Retain the best idea and plan it with Realism (E and R of « C-R-I-T-E-R-E »). The emerging solution should be recorded and accurate in its many concrete modalities, in order to avoid a botched agreement. It remains only to Experiment it in real. But before leaving, let's set an appointment to Evaluate together the results (the last E of « C-R-I-T-E-R-E »).
C-R-I-T-E-R-E is the art of small steps that Gandhi and Henry Kissinger have often talked about. We can move a mountain of difficulties provided that we cut it into small enough
2 Pire Dominique et Van der Elst Raymond, Vivre ou mourir ensemble (Live or die together), Presses académiques européennes, Bruxelles, 1969. The « deux leçons sur le Dialogue Fraternel » are on pages 41 to 84. Etienne Chomé, The C-R-I-T-E-R-E Method, Introduction pieces. This is the second principle of Descartes in his Discourse on the Method : « divide each of the difficulties under examination into as many parts as possible, and as might be necessary for its adequate solution ».
The training offered by CommunicActions This book is primarily the pedagogical support of courses organised by the International School CommunicActions (see our website http://www.communicactions.org). The standard training is made up of ten weekly sessions. The CommunicActions adventure started in Mauritus in 1999. In this multireligious and multiracial context, I was invited to set up a training called « Learn to better manage our conflicts », which isolates its truths from our human experience common to all, Hindus, Christians, Muslims, Buddhists and atheists, white, yellow, brown and black people. The priority was to train facilitators who would in turn be capable to give the course to diverse participants. Legally constituted as a Nonprofit organization, the movement has been developing in the three continents, counting 60 facilitators in 2009. We aim at spreading these effective tools to a maximum of members of civil society and thus to contribute to a smoother functioning of social institutions, starting with families, schools, associations and professional teams. In Africa, we are pleased to spread the best communication and negotiation knowledge to audiences that have never heard of assertiveness, Carl Rogers, Thomas Gordon, NVC, etc. We carry out an educational work that mostly translates advanced research into simple terms, operational and applicable in everyday life.
It is the method that reconciles principle and experience Three educational options organize this book: the strength lies in 1) the method (the statement cannot be limited to lofty ideas) and 2) in the exercises, 3) that start from the easiest and end with the most complex. Each chapter has the same three-steps structure: 1) Why choose this strategy and not another ? What to do ? This is the stage of the issues, foundations and a conceptual clarification. 2) How to proceed ? How to get rid of our reflexes and adopt a more appropriate strategy ? 3) How to practise and train the following days ?
1) The reasons at stake and the issues become clearer by travelling from principles to experiences and from experiences to principles. A simulation exercise that appeals to personal experience detects the possible strategies. Facing those, everyone becomes more Theory, principle aware of his own spontaneous logic of functioning. Alternatives begin questioning 1) 2) method, tools 1) ultimately ineffective habits. and 3) exercises 2) Knowing what to do is not enough, we must also have a method (odos in Greek = Practice, experience way) that provides effective means to change strategy. The whole chapter tends to the acquisition of the operational tool that enables to adopt the most suitable strategy3. Our deficit in conflict is not primarily conceptual, it is convenient. A theory needs a method,
3 This book emphasizes the experience of a real-life situation, methodology, tools and exercises, and does not contain most of the critical apparatus and discussions between schools, which are submitted in my doctoral dissertation carried out at the Université Catholique de Louvain. Etienne Chomé, The C-R-I-T-E-R-E Method, Introduction a process marking out the steps needed in order to become an action. The method itself is based Les enjeux, les fondements on techniques and tools. The method and its tools make a knowledge effective. L’outil, 3) The chapter ends with exercises that help la méthode assimilate the tool. No one but you can connect Diverses stratégies the theory to your own reality. Only this strictly Les exercices personal operation brings about amazing change in your daily life ! Mise en situation, Appel à l’expérience personnelle
That is the difference between knowing the way and walking it yourself.
« We don't receive wisdom ; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us. » Marcel Proust
Stating the principles is not enough. For instance, saying that man is able to stay on the surface of the water is true ; yet, what is the use of this principle for a man who cannot swim ? He will not be able to verify its accuracy and validity for himself before he learns a swimming technique. The method is the link between principle and experience. If the man drowns by falling from a boat, his death will not invalidate the principle, it will underline his lack of swimming skills. People will say he was inexperienced. Contrariwise, the better swimmer he becomes, the more hazardous waters he can face. It is more reasonable to learn to swim in a pool than in the ocean. First, we train and use the tool in « simple » situations. Then, we will be able to deal with increasingly complex situations. Solving our conflicts has a similar scheme. Instead of trying to learn to use this method in our most inextricable conflicts from the beginning, let's test it in the laboratory that our daily strains offer us.
Schema : 1) Knowledge Example : 1) Principle = man is able to swim.
2) I learn to swim, otherwise this nice principle 2) Techniques is useless !
3) Now I can swim, first in a pool, then in the 3) know-how sea, then in the ocean.
In every art, what seems difficult at first becomes easier with practice. The first hour sitting behind the wheel requires a lot of concentration from the young driver. After several months of training, he drives a hundredfold better compared to his first attempt. And yet his brain works less, as neuroscientists have shown by comparing neuroimages in both situations.
This book is limited to the study of interpersonal conflicts. The ability to address an injustice on the sociopolitical scale is a second step, which comes after having learned to sweep one's own doorstep and after having set up the basic communication and negotiation skills. I work on the sociopolitical cases in another course, which is complementary to th basic one. I rely then on what I call method D-I-A-P-O-S4.
Family, school, and business are the three social fields covered in this book. In order to make it easier in the beginning, I always start in the family unit, which is the smallest social group
4 In the first chapter of the third part of this book, I explain it in short in dealing with the anger that fights against an injustice. Etienne Chomé, The C-R-I-T-E-R-E Method, Introduction and which we understand better as a parent. Generally, those who do not master the tools we offer here in the family stand little chance of mastering them at school or at work. However, some people prefer to « try it out » in their workplace first. But a good criterion remains « from the easiest to the most difficult ». And this is the reason why my presentation will be toing and froing between the realities of family and work, as each sphere is full of lessons for the other.
Practicing exercises regularly reconciles knowledge and know-how We are not born a good communicator or a good negotiator, we can become one. This book offers many examples, testimonies, and practical exercises5. Some are to be practiced in daily life, others at one's worktable with a blank personal notebook. If you go over these exercises too fast to save time, you fall into an illusion of efficiency. The key is not to read the book and/or attend our training sessions, it is to be personally started, listening to what you say and do in the reality of your daily interactions. The aim of the book is that each little moment of reading bounces as on a springboard and strengthens your own dynamics of communication. More than teaching content, it seeks to convey us an effective method, in the same spirit of learning to fish rather than giving a fish. Successful training means transformation of our behaviour thanks to the implementation of the method.
5 Besides, various sayings illustrate the text because, as Burundian wisdom puts it so well, « a proverb is the child of experience ».