Children, Sports, and Sexual Predators: Ten Commandments for Parents to Follow
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legal notes By Daniel Pollack Children, Sports, and Sexual Predators: Ten Commandments for Parents to Follow ymnastics. Soccer. Swimming. GSkating. Whatever the sport, even the nicest parents can lose their cool when they’re rooting for their own child. To remind parents that good sportsmanship really is more impor- tant than winning, youth sport leagues have developed codes of conduct for parents. These usually mention things like not arguing or getting physical with the offi cials, coaches, or other parents; not cursing; and not heaping blame on anyone if your child’s team loses. These rules of conduct are usually so obvious that they hardly need to be spelled out. Other rules for parents of children involved in com- petitive sports are not so obvious. The tragic sexual, physical, and emotional abuse of more than 300 children involving Dr. Larry Nassar, USA Gymnastics national team doctor and an osteopathic physician at Michigan State University, was a wake-up call to the entire sports world. It should also alert parents to be vigilant in protecting their children trusted with your child. Winning is not an environment that does not stress from such predators. Here is a set of everything. “winning at any cost.” Choose one that “Ten Commandments” for parents to 3. Do not allow the coach, trainer, is it mindful that a child’s self-esteem ensure their children steer clear of a or doctor to ridicule or shame and emotional health come fi rst. coach, trainer, or doctor who is really a your child. You know the diff erence 6. If a coach, trainer, doctor, or sexual predator: between someone who is tough, fi rm, other team-affi liated person is 1. Never leave your child alone and demanding versus explosive, belit- physically inappropriate, report with a coach, physician, or trainer. tling, and contemptuous. If that line it immediately to the proper At least one other responsible person is crossed, your child and that team authorities. This might include law should be there. This includes when offi cial are not a good fi t. enforcement, child protective services, your child is in a gym, a medical exam- 4. Do not give up your authority the governing body with which the ination room, or a car. and power as your child’s parent. If team is affi liated, other oversight 2. Do your own background the coach, trainer, or doctor suggests bodies, or all of the above. Do not try to check into adults who interact with a course of training or treatment, you smooth things over. your child. Just because the coach, are the one to make that decision. doctor, or trainer has a reputation for 5. Be aware of a coach, gym, or Choose winning, do not assume they are to be team’s general culture. See Predators on page 33 Illustration by Chris Campbell 24 Policy & Practice December 2018 CPS employees, in conjunction with “send” button by a child—or a CPS 1667–1672. https://doi.org/10.1007/ law enforcement and school officials, employee—can ruin many lives. s10508-016-0926-9 are the key officials making tough 2. Lorang, M., McNiel, D., & Binder, R. (2016). legal and ethical calls. And, as we Minors and sexting: Legal implications. know very well, citizen, legislative, Daniel Pollack is a professor at Journal of the American Academy of Psychiatry and the Law, 44(1) 73–81. and legal oversight is, and should be, Yeshiva University’s Wurzweiler School 3. Numerous states have enacted specific of Social Work in New York City. He can omnipresent. Particularly from a legal laws that address sexting by minors: perspective, making the right call be reached at [email protected]; Arizona, Arkansas, Connecticut, on a consistent basis is a matter of (212) 960-0836. Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois, understanding, training, and attention Louisiana, Nebraska, Nevada, New to detail. Reference Notes Jersey, New York, North Dakota, Our primary concern is to protect 1. Strassberg, D. S., Cann, D., & Velarde, V. Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South children, not prosecute them. (2017). Sexting by High School Students. Dakota, Texas, Utah, Vermont, West One hasty decision to click the Archives of Sexual Behavior, 46(6), Virginia. See http://bit.ly/2OWzWYh PREDATORS continued from page 24 7. Your child should only receive texts from team officials that are Key components of Game Over: Commission to Protect Youth Athletes part of a group chat. The coach, trainer, or doctor should never indi- n Fact-Finding, Data Collection vidually text your child. n Creation of Publicly Available, Searchable Database of All Information n Legal and Policy Review by Legal Experts in the United States 8. Do not allow your child to be n Public Participation and Transparency forced into a radical diet. Yes, sports can be demanding, especially at the elite level, but that is no excuse to Upon completion of the fact finding, Kathleen Faller, MSW, Professor condone your child being on a starva- data collection, and public hearings, the Emerita of Children and Families in the tion diet. commission will compose and release its School of Social Work at the University of findings to the public and policymakers. All Michigan; Director, Family Assessment 9. Team coaches, trainers, and materials gathered and testimony obtained Clinic; Principal Investigator on the doctors are not your child’s friend. will be archived and made available to the University of Michigan site of National Child They can be friendly, but they are not public. Welfare Workforce Institute your child’s (or your!) friend. Outside Chair Teresa Huizar, Executive Director, activities with coaches, trainers, and Marci A. Hamilton, Robert A. Fox National Children’s Alliance doctors unrelated to the team and Leadership Program Professor of Practice, Jennie Noll, PhD, Professor for sport are inappropriate. University of Pennsylvania Healthy Children, Department of Human 10. Maintain maximum honest Commissioners Development and Family Studies, Penn and open communication with Steven Ungerleider, PhD, Co-founder State; Director, Child Maltreatment your child. Genuinely listen to what of the Foundation for Global Sports Solutions Network your child is saying. Nothing will Development Daniel Pollack, MSW, JD, Professor at Steven Berkowitz, MD, Associate Yeshiva University’s School of Social Work foster mutual respect and help to Professor, Clinical Psychiatry, University of and a frequent expert witness in child keep your child safe more than open Pennsylvania, Perelman School of Medicine; welfare lawsuits communication. Director, Penn Center for Youth and Family Monica Rowland, Former President, It is hoped that Congress and the Trauma Response and Recovery Athletes Advisory Council to the U.S. formal international and national Pat Ciarrocchi, former CBS3 Philadelphia Olympic Committee, Pentathlon Coach sports governing bodies will adopt news anchor who has covered the sex Philip Scribano, DO, MSCE, Director of a similar set of directives soon. Even abuse crisis in depth Safe Place: The Center for Child Protection then, parents, you are the first line of Sharon Cooper, MD, CEO, and Health at The Children’s Hospital of defense for your child’s safety. Developmental and Forensic Pediatrics, P.A. Philadelphia; Program Director of the Child David Corwin, MD, Professor and Abuse Pediatrics Fellowship Program Daniel Pollack is a professor at Director of Forensic Services, Pediatrics Joyanna Silberg, PhD, Senior Child Department, University of Utah Trauma Consultant, Sheppard Pratt Health Yeshiva University’s School of Social James Carpenter, Esq., Former Chief, System; Owner, Childhood Recovery Work in New York City. He is also Family Violence and Sexual Assault Unit, Resources; President, Leadership Council a Commissioner of Game Over: Philadelphia District Attorney’s Office on Child Abuse and Interpersonal Violence Commission to Protect Youth Athletes. Melissa Jampol, Esq., Former Assistant James R. Marsh, Esq., Founder, He can be reached at [email protected]; U.S. Attorney, New Jersey Children’s Law Center, Washington, DC (212) 960-0836. December 2018 Policy & Practice 33.