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Boundaries-Tough-Lov Minnesota Prevention Program Sharing Conference October 24 & 25, 2019 DECC Duluth, MN “Relationships are a part of who we are as indigenous people.” (Dr. Sidney Davies, New Zealand/Utah State University) Some believed the younger the child, the closer to the Creator that child was. Ojibwe family ties are deep and strong, and in general, are passionately fond of children and delightful with them. The influence and repression of the dominant culture has had an affect on the social structures of tribes, but in general, the family feeling still reaches wide; to grandparents, brothers and sisters, cousins, uncles, aunts, children, nieces and nephews THE NATIVE AMERICAN FAMILY Grandparents Grandparents Grandparents Grandparents Grandparents Uncle – Mother Uncle – Mother Mother – Father Aunt - Father Aunt - Father (Mother’s Cousin) (Mother’s Sister) (Father’s Brother) (Father’s Cousin) Bros. Sis. Bros. Sis. Bros. SELF Sis. Bros. Sis. Bros. Sis. Child N/N Child N/N Child Child N/N Child N/N Child N/N N/N Child N/N Child N/N Child Child N/N Child N/N Child Grandchildren Grandchildren Grandchildren Grandchildren Grandchildren If SELF is MALE If SELF is FEMALE MODERN TRADITIONAL World View Speaks and thinks Cultural Identity in Ojibwe Belongingness Interaction with Tribal members Self-esteem Ceremonies Self-concept Understands and Self confidence respects traditional family relationships A boundary is a barrier; something that separates two things; Anything that marks a limit. Walls, fences and cell membranes. What other examples of boundaries can you identify? Psychological, emotional, and personal are types of boundaries that people have. Boundaries and Dysfunctional Family Systems Mark Dombeck, Ph.D. Setting Boundaries is one of the most common forms of protecting ourselves from emotional harm. Many have great difficulty setting boundaries—especially (Anishinabeg), Why? Setting and establishing boundaries is a foreign practice to our people. Unhealthy Being raised in a dysfunctional setting Parental roles are not defined Lack of cultural knowledge Personal boundaries Limits we set for our relationships. Why? Protect ourselves from being manipulation What is Tough Love? The Promotion of a person's welfare, especially that of an addict, child, or criminal, by enforcing certain constraints on them, or requiring them to take responsibility for their actions. Originally intended for adult drug addicts, not children. Being Firm Learning to say No!! Letting Go Accountable Expected or required to account for one's actions; answerable. Responsible Able to make moral or rational decisions on one’s own and therefore answerable for one’s behavior. Anger Resentment Abuse/Violence Types of violence can vary from emotional, lateral and even physical. Identify some examples Anger Resentment Abuse/Violence What is emotional Yelling/Swearing abuse/violence? Insults/mocking Any act including Threats & confinement, intimidation isolation, verbal Ignoring, assault, humiliation, excluding, or intimidation which isolating may diminish sense humiliation if identity, dignity or self-worth Denial and blaming HAVE YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW EVER EXPERIENCED EMOTIONAL ABUSE/VIOLENCE? From Relatives? Our own people? Lateral violence happens when people who are both victims of a situation of dominance, in fact turn on each other rather than confront the system that oppresses them both. Lateral violence occurs when oppressed groups/individuals internalize feelings such as anger and rage, and manifest their feelings through behaviors such as gossip, jealousy, putdowns and blaming. Source (Native Women’s Association of Canada) When a powerful oppressor has directed oppression against a group for a period of time, members of the oppressed group feel powerless to fight back and they eventually turn their anger against each other.” – Jane Middleton-Moz Source (Native Women’s Association of Canada) “Lateral violence has impacted indigenous peoples throughout the world to the point of where we harm each other in our communities and workplaces on a daily basis.” – Rod Jeffries Source (Native Women’s Association of Canada) So why do we have such a difficult time with Boundaries ? Tough Love? Holding Family Accountable? ACCULTURATION The process by which a unified dominant culture came to displace an indigenous culture, destabilizing the social and psychological well-being of Traditional Societies. (Hallowell, A. I) ♦ Extermination Complete and immediate extinction by killing off all individuals. ♦ Cultural Genocide Deliberate and systematic destruction of a racial, political or cultural group. ♦ Oppression Unjust, cruel and abusive use of authority and/or power. ♦ Assimilation To absorb into the culture or mores of a population or group. ♦ Degradation A decline to a low, destitute or and/or demoralized state. These and other U.S. Government Policies have eroded a way of life that now requires our people to establish boundaries, practice tough love, and hold our family members accountable. How do we protect ourselves From emotional harm? By setting Boundaries Where can we go for answers to address issues involving the challenges of our people? The Seven Grandfather teachings. Ancestors (Aanikoobijigan) gave us these. They prayed and thought about us so that we would have a good life. Learning our language, it is there we will find the answers-Anishinabe elder (Gitchi Aya’aa) Anishinaabe Bimaadizi To live the Indian way Indinawamaaganiidoog Our Relatives George J. Goggleye [email protected] .
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