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No. 789 Friday 15th January 1988

INSIDE Linstead's bargain basement 4 Science

Angry students have discovered this month that most of their personal department, year it was left, date of 5 Will you be possessions have been sold by the Linstead Hall Committee. The collection, it was then opened. If it was obvious that the total worth of the mistake was discovered when two Canadian students from Montpelier articles was high then their name in or out Hall came to collect items from the Linstead Hall basement where they would be checked against the College had left them for safe-keeping and discovered they were gone. Four list and if the name didn't appear, the in 88? people have since come forward claiming that their possessions have articles were then sold or thrown out. also disappeared. In my opinion if the people who did lose belongings in the sale had taken fj Union Five years ago the Students Residence The sale took place on the more care of their possessions in the Committee decided that the Linstead following Saturday and made first place, they wouldn't now have Basement area would be the only area £1123.935 with the proceeds being lost them. Hopefully it will teach in College where property could be split between the Hall and the RNLI. them that if they can't be bothered to 7 Libel left for a long term period. Since then Dr Clarke said that the Hall would be even label them properly, why should moreand more items accummulated using the money to finance the Hall's the Hall look after them, when all they and it was not obvious to whom they 20th birthday party in March. are doing is cluttering up the Hall's 9 SGoo jus! t what is belonged. At the beginning of this It was shortly after this that people basement which is to be used Chinese Chess? academic year the Linstead Hall started to realise that personal primarily for the Hall's residents and Convenor Martin Whitfield suggested possessions had also been sold, not as a potential fire hazard which that the area should be cleared and including items from boxes which had it was before the clear out was Going on any unwanted property sold. The Hall been marked with peoples' names and started.' Warden Richard Clarke was in favour departments. One women claims to The Union is to take up the cause the Piste and the Hall Committee agreed to have lost £3000 worth of skiing of the students who have lost their help. equipment while others have lost possessions. President Ian Howgate Judith Hackney did Three notices were put in FELIX records and important lab books. has described the situation as 'a at Christmas and to announce the decision and Dr Clarke apologised for the losses complete mess'. He said yesterday learnt some useful impending sale of any goods which but said that it was 'inevitable with that the whole thing is a shambles, lessons. had not been clearly marked with such an exercise.' He has also because proper records had not been name and department. promised to examine each case and kept of the items in the basement by The Basement was closed on 2nd has asked for all the students affected Linstead Hall security. They have a 13 Diary December and the Committee spent to put their stories down in a letter. list of names and departments of three days sorting out what could and Martin Whitfield, in a written people who have gained entry to the could not be sold. Dr Clarke told report, said that he believed that the basement in the last five years, but 14 Previews FELIX that anything which was not sale had been a great success and was they are concerned that students were marked was opened and if it was good a long time in coming. He also wishes not informed by security that they Music & it was put aside for sale by auction. to see such a sale held every year. He should put name,'department and date He said that the whole operation was writes, 'as with anything that is done, to be collected on any boxes left there. Football monitored by the sub wardens. It was some people will get hurt and lose College administration have stated decided to donate all the clothes to some of their possessions. But the sort that College will not be held liable, Oxfam as there were sufficient other out of the basement occured with which means that people who have 1 5 Reviews goods to make a sale worthwhile. every reasonable effort being taken to lost items will not be reimbursed. They also found three televisions, locate the owners of most of the However, the Union is trying to three stereos, ski boots, a windsurfing valuable items. If any article was not compile a list of people whose outfit, a computer and three bicycles. properly labelled, i.e. Name, possessions have been sold.

THE NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION Christmas Quiz 1» No one sent in a correct entry to our Christmas Quiz in the last issue so nobody vnuium wins the t-shirt. Hard luck to everyone who entered and got it wrong.

the - answers

Happy New Year to you all. Let's all pockets again in 88. Student loans are 1. Which band played Imperial and 5. What is the new College staff hope that 1988 will be ten times better a thing of the future. FELIX has been appeared on The South Bank Show newspaper called? than 1987. Spring Term has always hard hit as more of the staff have to this term? a) WetNerk been my favourite of the three. There supplement their incomes with casual a) Voice of the Beehive b) The Independent is a spate of annual dinners work. This must be true of all clubs. b) Brilliant Corners QNetWork throughout January and February The Union cannot distribute the tfcjieal Sounds of Africa d) FELIX leading up to elections at the end of Welfare Handbook because they don't d) The Smiths e) IC News the term. For first years, this annual believe that they have the forty or so e) Norman and the Nutburgers event is quite exciting. There's the people needed to carry the operation 6. Which Union Officer, branded chance to stand for posts within your out. Nobody is prepared to do 2. Which one of these is the odd one 'cute' by FELIX, has had a Union own club or society. It should be anything for nothing nowadays. In the out and why? club set up in his honour? interesting to see just who puts sixties and seventies the Union had no a) Hamlet Gardens a) Ian 'cute' Howgate themselves forward for major Union trouble in finding 'hacks' to help clear b) I.exham Gardens b) Chas 'cute' Jackson posts. It's about now that you should up after parties, distribute leaflets or c) Earis Court Square ©'Cute' Rob Gee have decided which post to stand for. organise campaigns. But now the 0Evely n Gardens d) Chris 'quite cute' Martin As the time gets nearer FELIX will 'hacks' ask: 'what's in it for me?'. e)Collingham Place e) Chas Brereton be carrying features on the sabbatical They all want posts to add to their elections, how to stand and how to CVs but they don't want to do the 3. Who was the co-star in Ronald 7. Who called for a national college vote. work which their job entails. Reagan's last movie who died ban for Imperial students this earlier this year? term? Linstead FELIX (j^Lee Marvin a) Ian Howgate What a shambles. The brief was for It's a new year so why not come and b) David Niven b) The ULU President Linstead to sell off any items which work on FELIX. We're always c) Rock Hudson c) Margaret Thatcher had been left for years and were not looking for feature writers, news d) Margaret Thatcher d) Pippa Salmon clearly marked. So why did they sell researchers or just collators. We'd e) Burt Lancaster ^)The Surrey University President recently left equipment, books, love to have you here. records and clothes especially when 4. Which British sportsman, who is 8. Whose fourth marriage ended they were all marked? College should currently studying at Imperial, after nine months this year? reimburse all claimants immediately. wears this pair of shorts? ^loan Collins But this won't replace the treasured b) Elizabeth Taylor items which were left in Linstead's c) Ian Howgate care and sold as forgotten items. d) Danny La Rue e) Madonna

Grants 9. Which medical school is Imperial Bit by bit we're losing the war against due to merge with in 1988? inflation with less money in students' a)St Thomas' ©St Mary's c) St Dominic's Editor-in-chief Judith Hackney d) St Ian's Business Manager Chris Martin e) St Elsewhere Reviews Editor Ashley Niblock Features Editor Kamala Sen 10. What is Imperial College's field Clubs Editor Andrew Waller station called? Sports Editors Dominic Strowbridge a) James Hunt a) Elridge Park and 'Hector' Sullivan b) Fatima Whitbread b) Farnborough Park Science Editor Steve Black c) Christopher Dean c) Hyde Park Typesetting Rose Atkins d) Steve Cram d) Princes Gardens Printing Dean Vaughan ^jeoff Parsons @SiIwood Park Contributors: Chris Jones, Andy Bannister, Aaron Kotcheff, Charles Robin, Chris Martin, Kamala Sen, Al Birch, Adrian Bourne, Dave Jones, John Noble, Bill Goodwin, Selwyn, Quite coincidentally, no one sent in a correct entry to our Christmas puzzlerem. Chas Jackson, Pippa Salmon, Andrew Eardley, Adrian You've got one more week to win the prize. Anybody can enter except present Grainger, Phil Young, William Lumb, Al Roberts. or ex-members of the FELIX staff.

2 Friday January 15th 1988 FELIX Ascitic News would not be the support to help her do this and that she did not have the time to do this all herself. Extra cash Mr Howgate does not believe that they are worth distributing at this late Welfare worries stage and is particularly annoyed with The Union Snack Bar has been ULU. 'The Handbooks were 8-9 seriously affected by the illness of weeks late and they were definitely Manager Norman Jardine. There is a not as good as But Were Afraid To severe shortage of casual workers ULU Welfare Handbooks, intended Ask.' He is not worried that first especially before midday and an for first year students in October, are years missed out on the welfare appeal has been made for any still collecting dust in the Union literature this year because it was students, who can spare a few hours Office. Union President Ian Howgate well-covered in the ICU Handbook one morning and need extra cash, to and Union Welfare Officer Pippa which Ms Salmon edited. help out. Salmon have blamed this on the Ms Salmon still hopes to persuade University of London Union who departmental senior tutors to take on produced it and apathy in the Union. the distribution but until then they will Smash V grab Last year's Union Welfare be collecting the dust in the Union Committee took the decision not to Office. She said yesterday 'it's a great produce 'But Were Afraid To Ask', shame that the first years didn't get The Union's Microcomputer Club the ICU Welfare Handbook, but to the Handbooks when they arrived, was broken into over the Christmas take 2000 copies of the new ULU when they probably needed them period and several vital bits of Welfare Handbook instead. These most. Ian spent a lot of time chasing equipment were taken including a were intended to be distributed at the ULU up about it. I don't think we BBC micro and a keyboard. The job Freshers' Reception as 'But Were could have done anything else once was not professionally done as the Afraid To Ask' had been done we were committed to the ULU door was broken open. Honorary previously. However, the booklets Ms Salmon siad that the ideal book'. Secretary Chas Jackson believes it to did not arrive until the third week of solution would be to get stickers and It is almost certain that the Welfare have been carried out by an the Autumn Term, too late for the names from Registry in order to Committee will decide to return to opportunist. This has put the Club out Reception, after a series of mix-ups distribute the booklets to the 'But Were Afraid To Ask' for the of action. at the University of London Union. departments but she felt that there coming year's intake. Inter-Rail

JBritish Rail have decided to keep the It's the Year of the Dragon! 0RS awards 'price of their Inter-Rail card at the same price as last year, despite their r recent price increases in Great Discover China in '88... There will be 800 new Overseas Britain. For £139, the card allows Research Students Awards this year travel throughout 20 European Beijing £456 m in the United Kingdom. They will be countries and Morocco to all people Hong Kong £456 « offered on a competitive basis to under 26. The price also includes and all around Asia overseas postgraduate students of discounts of up to 50% on a choice Thailand £345 outstanding merit and research of cross-channel hovercraft and ferry Malaysia £420 « potential. Each award will cover the services. India £375 „„ difference between the tuition fee for a home postgraduate and the full-cost Book now before it's too late! fee they would have been expected to pay as an overseas postgraduate Flowers urged for low cost worldwide flights, student. Nine of these awards are tours, holidaysand expert advice for the independent traveller. tenable at IC. Further information can London University's trade unions be obtained from the Scholarships have urged former IC Rector and Special fares Office, Room 314, Sherfield current UL Vice Chancellor Lord „ for students Building. and academics Flowers to attend the House of Lords throughout the debating of the Ask for our brochures — see how lar you can go! Education Reform Bill. They believe that Lord Flowers should take a high- profile stand against the Bill and Obituary represent the feelings of all academics UlUtravel in the University. Vernon Clancy MBE A service of ULU Travel Vernon St Clair Clancy has died aged Imperial College Sherfield Building 82. One of College's most Adventure Prince Consort Road distinguished alumni, he was a LONDON SW7 Sffii leading explosives expert and The first National Outdoor Pursuits Enquiries and Bookings: pn TheWorldbeaters investigator of bomb-induced aircraft Exhibition opens on Thursday March European 01*581 8233 Intercontinental 01-581 1022 IMC crashes, his most recent being into the 3 in Battersea Park, London for four loss of the Air India Boeing 747 over days. If you want to add a little the Irish Sea in 1985. He leaves a wife adventure to your dull, dull life then and two daughters. ;it's only £1.50 to students.

FELIX Friday January 15th 1988 3 >»i8f# selective than DDT: you can spray a room with them killing all the flies but not your pet cat. The lethal doses are Bad news small and the compounds do not UNDER THE accumulate like DDT. But, they are still rather unselective among insects for atom and are not wholly harmless to the pet fish. Newer and better chemicals are on MICROgjSCQPE the way, but it will always be power extremely difficult to find a chemical weapon that kills just one type of 1988 is going to be a terrible year for insect selectively. Ideally we want a chemical that can be used to kill things the nuclear industry. At the end of last by Steve Black year this column reported that studies that eat crops, but not useful insects, of the survivors from Hiroshima and such as honeybees and crop Nagasaki had shown higher than pollinators. However, a bit of lateral expected incidences of cancer, forty thinking has just produced some years after the bombings (latest news: spectacular and completely specific results in Egypt. New Scientist 7th January 1988 p46). the Grim Reaper. The first few weeks of the new year However, 40,000 Americans did Their particular problem involves have already seen worse news. not kick the bucket from radiation Sex killing Cotton Leaf Worm (which A horrific study of the effects of poisoning, or indeed from anything destroys cotton crops) without killing fallout from Chernobyl on American that is normally connected with Honeybees (which produce a valuable mortality rates is about to be radiation. The theory that is gaining and the crop in their own right). The trick that published (see The Independent 4th popularity is this: the most easily produces specific results, is to use the January pi4). The main conclusion of radiation-damaged part of the body is insects own sex pheromones against the report is that radiation kills many the immune system; even small doses it. Pheromones are the chemicals people in the short term by indirect of radioactive nasties cause small single insects use to find each other when means (this is in addition to the long decreases in the body's ability to fight they are randy and want to start a term risks of death from cancer). off nasty invaders; so if people are ill family (in this case female pheromones attract the male insects). The results come from a statistical a small increase in the radiation dose insect They are completely insect specific comparison of the state-by-state may be enough to make the difference (after all God does not want to mortality figures and the measured between survival and death. encourage unnatural acts between amounts of fall out in each area. Small So we have to take the figures with Chemical warfare is banned under the different types of insect, does he?). doses of fall out are normally difficult a pinch of salt: most of the people Geneva Convention. But the Geneva Chemists can identify and reproduce to measure, but the report found a who died were probably not healthy Convention convention only applies the pheromones in large quantities. clever way to make reliable fit individuals who were suddenly to people. This leaves the world's comparisons. Iodine-131 is a common struck down by Russian fallout. Most chemical companies free to engage in The first attempt to control the radioactive component of fallout, and were ill people who were just tipped a continuous and fearsomely nasty insects involved using the iodine is concentrated in cow's milk. over the edge by the small decrease war against creepy-crawlies. pheromones to attract male insects Measurements of the amounts in milk in their ability to kill bugs. It is The big problem in this war is into a trap. However, this failed are routine and they give a reliable meaningless to say that any specific selectivity: we could kill our insect because the small number of males indication of the amount of fall out in individual died because of the fallout; enemies with the same things we are avoiding the traps were enough to the area where the cows graze. the effect only becomes obvious in not allowed to use on our human keep the population going. After an Between May and August 1986 (the large populations. Nevertheless, no enemies (phosgene, chlorine, taubin, amazing lateral thinking leap, the three months following the reactor's one ever imagined that such small hydrogen cyanide...), but we would scientists tried a better method that explosion) the death rate showed an doses of radiation could cause such kill lots of friendly people as well, and worked: they saturated the cotton crop unexpected glitch. Normally about a large secondary effect. this is considered rather with the pheromone. This, 650,000 people die during these The number of deaths caused by the counterproductive by the agricultural presumably, drove the male flies into months in the USA. After Chernobyl disaster is likely to be very much profession (though it might just solve an orgy of randyness, but. more about 690,000 people died, that is, larger than anyone thought likely at some of the EEC's problems with importantly, left them completely about 40,000 (forty-thousand) more the time (if the results are confirmed farming subsidies). unable to find the females (not so than expected. The result is in European work). The study is The first big breakthrough was the much because the small amount of significant because the figures have reminiscent of the one that showed a discovery of DDT. It killed almost female scent was drowned by the shown remarkable stability since the small, but perceptible correllation anything with too many legs and artificial variety, making it impossible beginning of the century: such a large between exposure of pregnant women proved to be nearly harmless to for the males to smell out the glitch is completely unprecedented. to X-rays and deformed babies. That people. Unfortunately, it is really females). Normally the figures would be report led to tight restrictions on the inert chemically and so sticks around This, of course, left the population regarded as a meaningless use of X-rays in medicine. It is, as in the environment, enabling resistant devastated after one generation. More coincidence because the actual yet, impossible to say what will strains of insect to develop. Also, it importantly, it had no effect on the radiation doses are so small. Such happen as a result of the latest figures, kills birds and fish, which we would bees (or any other insects for that small doses were previously thought but it isn't going to be good for the rather kill by other means so we can matter), thus producing a bumper to cause only marginal increases in nuclear industry, civil or military. eat them. honey harvest. death rates (from cancer) and these In twenty years time we may be Pyrethroids were the next really big The side-effects of DDT left would not show up for decades. But, thankful for Chernobyl. It may prove breakthrough. Some British chemistry with a tarnished image, but the measured radiation doses in milk to be the only thing that will convince government chemists borrowed the these latest developments show that occur in the same states as the us just how dangerous our nuclear basic chemicals from some plants who Chemists may be near to redeeming unexpectedly large body counts. playthings are. We have to learn that had been engaged in their own war themselves. A healthy respect for the States with low doses of Chernobyl's lesson now and start to look for safer against insects for eons, and then balance of nature is not, after all, muck show normal death rates. So, ways of defending ourselves and improved them to make them more incompatible with the chemical they cannot be ignored as a quirk of keeping our light bulbs glowing. effective. They are much more industry.

Friday January 15th 1988 FELIX FELIX

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Hip Hop Beethoven what s '. Boy (zm^ . HIP: Suime Vega ferrYL 6 &3> e

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FELIX Friday January 15th 1988 Union

Chas Jackson's Pippa Salmon's 'Alcohol for Beginners' 'Sex for Beginners' encourage people to think about how much they drink and why. Alcohol is the major cause of death in men aged between 18 and 24 and Transport basis in personal prejudice than a did you know that if you drink 2lh A new van has been ordered to detailed knowledge of individual pints of beer a day for two weks you replace the rather old and doddering clubs/societies which I cannot be can put on three pounds of weight! white van. For those of you who are expected to possess. And of course it costs a fortune. interested, it is to be a (socialist) red The Campaign will be concentrated 13 seat crew bus. Sherfield Cross-Country later on this term, probably the sixth Last term a considerable number of Walkway Athletics week. We'll be arranging things people asked for Union van tests at Rag Orienteering between now and then, so if anybody extremely short notice. As this causes SLAG Third World wants to lend a hand just send a note great inconvenience for the van testers Wine Tasting First to me at the Union Office or ring up (who have to give up their ICGLC PATA I hope everyone's recovered from (internal 3500) and leave a message. lunchtimes), there is now a Transport ICCNAC Academic Affairs their holiday hangovers by now—and Better still, come to the next Welfare Committee ruling that all van tests Choir WIST perhaps your bank balance is also Committee meeting on 26th January should be notified at least one week ICSO Badminton slightly healthier. at 12.45pm in the Union Office. in advance. If you require a van test, Turkish Basketball While these matters are still fresh Thanks to those who sent apologies please think about it well in advance. Nigerian Audiosoc in your mind, I would like to for Tuesday's meeting and to the two OSC Sports Wellsoc introduce the Alcohol Awareness people who turned up! Insurance Hellenic Christian Union Campaign. It's not a 'let's ban Pippa Salmon, Since the last edition of FELIX, the Chamber Music Folk alcohol' scheme, but it is intended to ICU Welfare Officer following cheques have arrived: Riding Union East Colrin Hunt Filmsoc Staircase Gedney Takel Dramsoc Netball Kwok Niskier Palestinian Hockey Espejo Ivory Sri Lankan Cricket NEWLY The lucky recipients can collect the CSSA Rugby John Noble's cheques from my office, but must Friends of Football OPENED bring identification. Palestine Opsoc Also I need further information on Malaysian Audiosoc 'Fun for the following longstanding claims. It Dance Volleyball would help considerably if the West London Climbing Wall J>eff>i claimants could see me as soon as Chaplaincy Mountaineering Beginners' possible: Union Main Sports Centre Brasserie J Cooper Foyer Tennis F Kateli Parachuting Southside Gym Here we are again with another term 134 CROMWELL R McBryde Photosoc Keep Fit of events for your pleasure. To kick ROAD Wing Chun Beit Arch off with we have an amazingly good (near to Sainsburys) Noticeboards Ski Scout and Guide value offer on January 15th, ie today The following is the list of Fencing if you're reading this on Friday KENSINGTON, SW7 noticeboard allocations. I have cut otherwise you have missed it. For a down on the space for each mere £2.50 you can have the time of Open 12-2.30pm; 6.30pm- club/society in order to fit everybody A Final Note your life at Carnival 88, where you 11.30pm daily in. I felt that this approach was much This is a term of hard work for can see two live bands, Buddy Curtess fairer than denying clubs space everybody. Just remember to get & the Grasshoppers plus The Jivin' Friendly attentive service In entirely, as the choice of some sleep and eat all your greens, Instructors as support and three first an atmosphere of style and clubs/societies to be denied space or you won't grow up big and healthy class cabaret artists including Mark comfort would be arbitrary and with more (like Judith). Miwurdz of Tube fame. On top of the Fully llcanaad acts we have a film, Ghostbusters, a Air conditioned disco, late bar until 12.30pm, Seating tor 110 IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION barbecue, cocktails and happy hour from 8-9pm so come early. Tickets Private partlea of up to 40 is proud to announce that it is holding the are £2.50 in advance from the Union catered for Office or Norman's or £3 on the door 10% dlacount forIC students (don't forget your Union Cards) and and staff the Jivin Instructors are on at 8.30pm, doors open at 8pm. I hope you agree Early reservations advisable 1st this is an offer not to be missed at any price. UNION GENERAL MEETING of 1988 01-370 7617 J John Noble, on Tuesday 19th January in the JCR Ents Chairman

6 Friday January 15th 1988 Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr went Derek's THE LANDLORD of the alarm clock. Derek looked at it Cat'n'Fiddle in Holborn is to receive a shock this week when he gets a writ sleepily and mumbled 'the big from Union President Ian Howgate. hand's pointing at the five and the It appears that the deranged man little hand's midway between the attempted to disco dance down the eight and the nine; that means steps to the basement bar and slipped, it's...err...it's...err'. 'Eight twenty- breaking his right thumb in two five, dear' said Derek's wife Mad places. He has instructed the Union Dash, 'time for work'. (Derek was solicitor to sue for the partial loss of the Baron of Cheapskate and part his services to the Union for the next MYSTERIOUS THINGS have time actor on Channel 4 when the couple of months, since he now been afoot in Ye Olde Hamlet money got a bit short.) cannot write with that hand. Damages are expected to run into tens of pence. Gardens. My spies inform me that Derek leapt out of bed and one of the new subwardens has been hurriedly got dressed. This was not-such-a-good boy. One wonders if THOSE GLORIOUS Guildsmen going fine until he came to the tie. the appointment was just jobs for the have managed another winner. They boys? Apparently he was just an He didn't have time to ask Mad Dash to do it for him so he selected held a n-legged pub crawl earlier this ordinary resident of Hamlet last term his newest and nicest clip on. It was extremely wide and extremely week. Problem was that nobody got and certain people claim to have loud but no one ever had the guts to tell him so to his face so the message about what terrific fun compiled a damning list of all his he didn't know how awful it looked. When he'd finished he picked it would be to do this wacky stunt. misdemeanours which shows him in up his new filofax and rushed out of the front door. He didn't have Never mind. For all mathematicians, a most unsuitable light and would time for breakfast, but that wasn't a problem, he would get n=9 where n tends to HackSoc. have easily taken up this whole page. McNorthey to bring up something from the Quite Tasty Burger Unfortunately said subwarden let Factory to his office later. People often bring up things from the WHOLESCALE CONFUSION himself into my spies' flat, found the Quite Tasty Burger Factory. reigned in the IC Union Office this list and destroyed it. Luckily they week when Deputy President Alan Derek reached his office on the top floor of the Surefield fortress have promised that I can have all the Rose swapped offices with Union dirt in the very near future. just as his brand new digital watch beeped for eight-thirty. As he Administrator Jen Hardy-Smith and settled into his luxury reclining chair and continued reading the neglected to tell anybody. Union THE NEW WARDEN of Holbein latest addition to his library (Ladybird book 7C) he wondered what officers have quipped that they House has arrived, much to the relief all the fuss was about. The citizens were whingeing for no good thought their demented DP had had of weary College disiplinarians, who reason yet again. If he, Derek the Baron, could get to his office his hair restyled and taken to wearing believe him to be the answer to their by half past eight then why shouldn't all the citizens get to tasteful skirts and blouses. prayers. The residents, however, Cheapskate at the same time. don't seem to thrilled with this new The problem was that there weren't enough torture chambers MY EARS ALWAYS prick up College messiah. There are now no when I hear the word scandal. Most at Cheapskate so Derek had decided that tortures should start an washing machines and a cooker has of it is either unrepeatable or concerns hour earlier. This might have been bad news for the citizens but also been removed. We recommend various sabbaticals that have severe that you take a clothes peg with you it was even worse news for the torturers, most of whom lived difficulty doing their jobs properly. when you visit friends in Holbein. even further from Cheapskate than the citizens. Despite strong words at the last College are sticking by their man: he It's not as if they do anything useful between half eight and Council, Honorary Secretary Chas has also managed to remove all the half nine, thought Derek, now if they read a quality paper or the Jackson has been doing his best to do shopping trolleys, road cones and West End theatre listings then things might be different.... his worst. My favourite instances of FOR SALE signs from the premises. Anyway, this was all good complaining practice for the leading this curious phenomenon revolve It is also rumoured that he has the citizens as they prepared for the Cheapskate General Election at around Christmas cards and dishiest wife to have tantalised the end of term. No one was quite sure who was going to stand insurance. celibate Evelyn Gardens residents It is rumoured that Mr Jackson was for the posts of Head Citizen, Deputy Head Citizen, Phallix Editor since Tony Aston left Willis Jackson. given 45 cards to post at the end of and...the other one, but some citizens had started (continued ?) last term on behalf of the Union and to act very strangely and very secretively as they strove to get NEW BOY Reggie with the didn't. It was left upto Receptionist some all important publicity. Some of them were even seen in the unpronounceable surname took on the Kathy Tait to send them after they had Phallix Office trying to achieve the ultimate hack credibility of Union finance system at the beginning been ingeniously date-stamped of the year only to find that he was appearing in the 'Duke of Sluicegate'... 13/12/87 last week. without an office, desk or even chair. Meanwhile in the citizen's office the winners (losers) of last Mole Higgs has enhanced his Hon According to my source, it was years elections had returned from their Christmas break. Sec 88/9 credibility by sorting out all Deputy President Alan Rose's job to Whygate was contemplating about holidays. How was it that the insurance claims which Chas had fix Reggie up with the necessary his Deputy, Alan Ego, could go to Malta and the Phallix Editor, neglected. equipment for running the Union but Judith Largeamounts, go skiing in France when all he managed Alan went to Malta and seems to have was a few days with some amateur hairdressers in Guildford. It CAN NIGEL WHITFIELD , left all his motivation in the sun. wasn't fair, but then life in Cheapskate never was. boyish IC Radio News Editor, live without the phone? The poor boy IC RADIO hacks and hackettes Will Whygate go on a proper holiday? obviously needs the substitute while have been amusing themselves with hero Pete Hands is working hundreds a tale about Station Manager Steve Who will stand in the Cheapskate General Election? of miles away. And why does Pete Gutteridge and old-timer John Allen. What has happened to the 3 clowns? have a double bed? Nigel claims that A small reward to anybody who is its just wishful thinking. prepared to reveal the reason behind Does the bookshop sell Coles Notes to Ladybird Book 7C? the merriment because it smells like Find out in the next episode of the Baron of Cheapskate scandal to me. Chris Jones

FELIX Friday January 15th 1988 7 I would like to receive further details and an Which Bright Students application form for the will see the world with XInternational Paint £1000 this year? Travel Awards Name

Address for International Paint application form to be Travel Awards sent

If you are entering your University final year in Autumn 1988 address as an undergraduate or (if different from above). postgraduate you are eligible for these awards.

Please indicate your initial preferred area More information and to travel: application form from the Careers office or North America (USA, Canada, Mexico) write to: South America Australia/S.E. Asia Richard Hirst Deadline: 30 January 1988 International Paint Far East Other Stoneygate Lane 2€ International Paint Felling, Gateshead Tyne & Wear NE10 OJY Courtaulds Group F" EEI I

crop up, and it can be summariesed point of view (ie that white has too in one phrase—give and take. Greedy much territory and should surrender players always lose, and so do meek some) and agree or disagree. If he and timid players. Moderation is the agrees with black it means that black watchword. If a player claims too attacked successfully and white gives The game of much territory he can only guard it way and battens down any remaining thinly, so he will lose it. If he over- open hatches. If white disagrees, he attacks his opponent and indulges in answers with a counter-attack on too much 'rape and pillage' he will black, leaving black to ponder. After suddenly find himself being attacked. a few moves of this 'argument', and Go The techniques of attack in Go are before its logical conclusion, it quite subtle and usually work best if becomes clear to the players who is contact with the opponent is avoided. going to be the eventual winner, and The game of Go (nothing to do with monopoly) is played regularly The aim is usually to manipulate the the argument stops, because there is by the Imperial College Chinese Chess Society. Proper name opponent rather than take him out no point in continuing—the point has Weichi, the oriental game is played with Hsiang ch'i. Chris Eardley completely. Of course, the been made. To give a ridiculous describes how Go is a subtle strategy game which requires tactics opportunity to wipe out some local analogy, it's a bit like Julius Caesar opposition in big fights does occur, storming into Gaul with 1000 men entirely different to those of Western chess. and is highly exciting, but this and coming face to face with a million Gauls. Some people would advocate fighting to the death; they lose every Picture in your mind a game of game of Go. In a case like this if ordinary western chess after a few Caesar fights to the death the Gauls opening moves have been played. win. If he doesn't fight, the Gauls Now modify the game in two ways. win. There is no argument, and In chess, the separate pieces, with Caesar should get out of Gaul their separate identities and powers, sharpish. In this way fights are left together form an army, and the game unfinished all around the board is about one army battling against the because both players see that in 3 other. For the first modification, moves time, say, one of them will die, shrink one of these armies down into so what is the point of carrying on. one piece, into one unit, and let you If you're arguing with someone and and your opponents have 180 of these you suddenly see that you have army pieces to distribute at will on the argued your way into a hole, then you board. This gives rise to the next shut up there and then unless you're modification—add another 300 subtlety and depth to the game—it is happens comparatively rarely. one of those tiresome people who like squares to the board. These indeed a game of war, with both In Go there are no guns or cannons arguing that black is white. The nice modifications have the effect of players spending much of their time or tanks, or in fact anything remotely thing about Go is that if someone does converting the localised battle of chess trying to kill each others pieces, but violent to look at or use. All the pieces try that argument you can always into a full scale war using many the rest of the time is spent building are identical round counters and none prove them wrong. Of course the armies over a large area. This new territories in a constructive manner of them has special powers or moves. trick lies in working out whether game is called Go. and only 'leaning' on the opponent Individual pieces are worthless; it is you're going to win the argument Go is a strategy game for two rather than going in for the kill all the the position they are in that is before you start it. players using black and white time. When an attack is made, it is important. In chess, for example, identical pieces on a brown wooden done subtly—not much 'cut and players have armies that they put into In Summary board marked with an almost square thrust' occurs in Go because it doesn't battle against each other, and in effect Go is one of the most beautiful games grid of 19 x 19 lines, giving 361 work. In chess, for example, a queen the players 'hide' behind their in the world because of its simplicity, playing points. and a rook can be let loose for a while pieces—they are one stage removed elegance and its many hidden The game starts with the board to bash up the enemy, and indeed this from the theatre of operations. In Go, subtleties. It looks pretty as well. empty and players take it in turn to is a most enjoyable occupation. When there are no such armies and the It is a battle of minds rather than place pieces anywhere they like on the the pair have finished they can retire players are brought right into the armies of pieces, because the pieces board. Pieces do not move about the behind their pawns and be safe. This action and it becomes a much more directly relate to your thoughts—they board but stay in the same position doesn't happen in Go because the intense fight, not between armies, but are not coloured by any special throughout the game. The object of pieces do not move around, and so between minds. Go players locked in powers a piece may have. the game is to create more territory once committed to an attack, it has to combat stare intensely at the board It is a game of extreme violence— than the opponent by surrounding be followed through right to the end with their knuckles white, hands life or death, yet players have to live segments of empty space with because it is impossible to 'pull out'. clammy and stomachs churning. They with each other on the same board. uniform lines of pieces. If your If the attack is mis-handled then the are totally immersed in action which A player can never be totally wiped opponent gets in the way you can mistake sits there on the board staring to an outsider seems pretty boring, but out. In this sense it is more surround him too and remove him back at you for the rest of the game. to them is a matter of life and death. constructive than most war type from the board, but this is a secondary When attacking the opponent's In this sense Go is the ultimate war games which are usually a fight to the objective. Go is a constructive game pieces, his pieces are also a threat to game: there are no objects of war in death. in that there are more pieces on the yours and very often an attack has to sight, yet the players are trying to tear board at the end of the game than at be suddenly turned into a defence for each other apart. Anyone who likes a good strategy the start, in contrast to most other a few moves, then back to an attack, People who like arguing should game should like Go, and anyone who 'war' games. and the defence, and so on. This is enjoy Go, because many of the fights is fond of a good (logical) argument Calling Go a war game is in fact one of the beauties of the game—it is can be likened to arguments. If black ought to get hooked on it without too fairly misleading, though for most impossible to bludgeon an opponent invades white's territory he is telling much effort. It takes five minutes to people this is the easiest concept to without having to let him make major white that he has a point to make, and learn to play, so come and see for have when they start playing for the gains against you. The game has a what's more, he is right. What yourself at one of our meetings during first time. It takes only a short while built-in stabilising effect which defies happens next is highly interesting Tuesday and Thursday lunchtimes in however, before beginners sense the explanation but which never ceases to because white has to listen to black's Elec Eng 403b.

FELIX Friday January 15th 1988 9 Features

GOING

ON THE

PISTE

Before you decide to try skiing, you Skiing holidays are ought to consider just how much the holiday will cost you. You shouldn't becoming cheaper believe that the £200 odd you give the tour operator will be your major and cheaper as cut outlay. On top of flights and accommodation there will be throat tour equipment to hire, special clothing and ski lift passes to buy, lessons to operators tout for arrange and over-the-top food and drink prices to pay. Skiing holidays business. They don't come cheap if its your first time. combine sun, fresh air, fantastic Inhere the other European towns as the supermarket food is not cheap, it's far prices drop and the lower classes cheaper than having to eat out every scenery, physical infiltrate their apres-ski. You can night.' The first decision you will have to expect to pay at least another £100 on There are other European skiing activity and apres- make is which country to visit. Each top if you chose any Swiss resort. destinations apart from the big three. has its own merits. Austria is said to The favourite family resorts are Italy is the next biggest although its ski to make a be the best for beginners, Germany situated in France. It was here that the popularity seems to have declined the most friendly and France the best modern-style ski resort took shape, recently with its bad international thrilling antidote to for all types of skiing terrain. with well-designed apartments and reputation. Package tours are the academic blues. Austria is still the most popular good ski lift networks. Such resorts available to Spain, Andorra, Norway, destination for Britain's first-time as Les Deux Alpes and Val d'lsere Bulgaria and Yugoslavia. There's skiers. Most of the resorts still were built solely with skiing in mind. even Avimore in Scotland, but the Judith Hackney, manage to keep the mountain village Le Village complex in Les Deux skiing and weather isn't as good as atmosphere which seems preferable Alpes, where I spent a week over the alps. still limping to the well-designed pre-fabs that Christmas, boasts skiing from the adorn the French slopes. Cheap out- doorstep with no long cable car rides slightly, tells you of-season skiing is also good here to endure. It also has snow nearby all because life in these villages doesn't year round so it was one of the few j^hen where and when to stop when the holiday trade resorts this Christmas which could go and whether it's disappears. Austria does have its offer skiing after the European thaw. disadvantages: it has a high cost-of- Most of the French holidays on Second is the decision of when to really worth all the living which makes eating out offer are for self-catering apartments take your skiing trip. The obvious expensive and, because of its cosy which cram up to six people, a dates of Christmas and Easter are village life, there are very few self- bathroom, a kitchen area and a lounge peak season and tend to be the most effort. catering apartments. If you want good area into a space no bigger than two expensive. The cheapest time is in apres-ski it is better to stick to the Southside rooms. It is important to January or early March. Don't be well-known resorts of Innsbruck or ensure that your group gets on well tempted to go before Christmas, even Kitzbuhel where this is especially together because there's no place to though the fares are cheap because well-catered for. hide. most of the resorts facilities will not Switzerland is out of the price range Self-catering is the cheapest form have opened for the season. We went of most of today's students. The of living because all restaurants over Christmas and found that the resorts are populated by the jet-set charge steep prices in these obvious advertised heated swimming pool was who have been retreating slowly from tourist traps and, although still shut. Our tour guides

10 Friday January 15th 1988 FELIX recommended that March was the is the best-selling make in Great The most important item of your best time to go to France because that Britain. You will also need ski pants equipment is your pair of boots. is when the snow is the thickest and or salopettes, which are high-waisted, You'll have a miserable holiday if Price the pistes the clearest. March also has padded trousers that cover your your feet are uncomfortable or cold. the added advantage of longer kidneys for added protection. Try walking around the shop for a daylight hours so there's more time Salopettes are the best but make you few minutes with the boots on before The advantage of the cut-throat on the precious slopes. That late in look very silly. Alternatively, you can accepting them and if you're tactics of today's tour operators is that the season the weather can be buy a ski suit. But you can't wear a unhappy, change them. skiing holidays are getting cheaper. relatively hot and ultraviolet rays are ski suit to College if you've decided I have discovered recently that in abundance. If you do go in March, against skiing again. Horizon have a special 'First Timer's' it is best to take a high factor sun The most important item to buy is six-day ski package to Austria. The cream and lip protector. a pair of ski gloves. You can't get Wessons flight and accommodation for seven away with the ones you usually wear days costs from £232-£347 depending in London. One of the members of on the season and the First Timer's my ski party thought that he could and One of my mistakes this Christmas pack an additional £146.50-£156.50. flothing soon discovered how uncomfortable was to believe that I could go skiing When I visited Les Deux Alpes this it was to ski with freezing cold, wet without first taking lessons. If you are Christmas a six day ski pass cost £64, hands. You should make sure that the a first timer it is best to take a few lessons (12 hours total in groups of Once you have made the decision ones you buy have leather palms and dry slope lessons in Britain before you ten) cost around £45 and ski and boot where and when to go, there are a slight curl in the fingers. They go. While the ones who believed they hire £40. essential items of clothing which have should go several inches beyond your could ski without doing this, spent the to be bought or borrowed. Good ski wrists so that any jacket will overlap holiday on their bottoms, the ones clothing is very expensive so a first and no cold air will get to them. who did, skiied off into the sunset. time skier should try to borrow as You'll also need a ski-hat because a Skiing holidays are much more fun if Conclusions much as he/she can. This, in my large percentage of your body heat you can stay upright for most of the experience, is not the easiest of tasks. escapes through the head. Remember time. The ICU Ski Club organises Hardened skiers are reluctant to let to pack ski sunglasses, several thick trips to a local dry ski slope most Today's skiing technology is much their clothing go on holiday without ski socks and lots of thin polo neck weeks. more sophisticated than a decade ago. Some people chose to take lessons The boots are designed to protect your at their resorts. These aren't cheap ankles and, in so doing, make your and most foreign instructors have knees more vulnerable. The first difficulty explaining in English. If lesson to learn is how to fall without you're unlucky you will end up hurting yourself. I didn't and missed paying through the nose for an three days skiing with an injured arrogant fool who just-wants to show knee. The second lesson is how to how good a skier he is compared to slow down and stop without falling you. over. I enjoyed my first skiing holiday despite the falling over. I will, no doubt, be gracing the slopes in the xercises future. I also found the whole experience surprisingly relaxing. This may have had something to do with Many ski books will recommend my lack of skiing, my excess of fresh that you do a few exercises before air and sun, and a severe case of over- your holiday. This may be necessary eating. It did have its downs (literally) if you're an expert skier but I didn't as well as its ups but I can thoroughly experience any aches or pains from recommend skiing as a wonderful any of the gentle skiing I performed. antidote to the academic blues.

them for fear of having their designer jumpers. Several thin layers are better salopettes ripped to shreds by an than one thick layer. inexperienced student. I ended up having to buy most of the essential items. This only applies to clothing. It is best to hire skis, poles and boots quipment in the resort as they can fit everything to you exact requirement. When you buy your jacket make When you finally make it to your sure that arm movement is not chosen resort you will have to hire restricted in any way. It will cost boots and skis. Skis should come up around £60 for a good, well-insulated to between shoulder and head height, jacket so buy one which you can wear depending on your build. You should in London afterwards, just in case you check that there are no gouges in the decide skiing is not for you. I tried base and that the bindings are easy to most of the well-known sports shops step into and release. The hire shop in London before deciding on one will alter them to suit your height and from C&A whose Rodeo Collection ability.

FELIX Friday January 15th 1988 11 Application forms for Re-applicants to Residence are now available from: Student Accommodation Office 15 Princes Gardens

Closing date:

Friday, 29 January 1988 Diary

Great Hall. All players please. with Guilds. £8 all in. See What's On Guilds Union. Guilds Gen Comm ...6.00pm THURSDAY Union Dining Hall. Make your Judo 6.30pm Methsoc Meeting ..12.30pm views heard. See Guilds Union. Union Gym. Next beginners' Huxley 413. course —January. FRIDAY Intermediate ICYHA Meeting 12.30pm Ballroom 7.00pm. SF Film: 'Alien' 7.00pm, Southside Upper Lounge. JCR. 80p. See Dance Club. ME220. The unrepeatable Circuit Socialist Society Shotokan original, Ridley Scott Training 12.30pm. film...Remember —in space no Meeting , 12.45pm. Karate 7.00pm. Union Gym with Cross Country Brown Committee Room. All Southside Gym. Beginners one can hear you scream. 50p and Athletics Club. Everyone welcome. Contact Adrian welcome. £1. members, membership welcome. Free. available. Grainger (Maths 3). Beginners Orienteering 12.30pm. Caving Club Ski Club 12.45pm. Ballroom 8.00pm. Brown/Green Committee Room Above Southside Bar. Sign up JCR. 80p. See Dance Club. Meeting 7.00pm. (top floor of Union Building). Southside Upper Lounge. for lessons, racing team and Arrangements for following Tang Soo Do 9.00pm. the holiday at Christmas. Sunday's event. Southside Gym. Beginners Advanced SFSOC Libary welcome. £1.00 members. Ballroom 7.00pm. Islamic Prayer 1.00pm. JCR. 80p. See Dance Club Meeting I.OOpm, The Union Building. See Guilds & RCS Green Committee Room, Union OpSoc Islamic Society. Radio Show 9.00pm. Building. Borrow books from Rehearsal 7.30pm. Prizes, good music and all the our vast library, help plan Carnival 88 8.00pm. 53 Princes Gate. See OpSoc. Union Building. Probably the latest gossip! future events. Members only. best carnival in the world. Improvers Arabic Classes 1.30pm Ballroom 8.00pm. Prayer Room. See Islamic TUESDAY JCR. 80p. See Dance Club. Society. SATURDAY Christian Dai Rocking 9.00pm. Lunch-Hour Concert 1.30pm, IC Radio (999kHz). The best in Union 8.15am. The Music Room, 53 Prince's Shotokan hard rock and not-so-hard rock Chemistry 231. See Steve Gate. The Sartori Ensemble Karate 10.00am. music including the featured Southside Gym. Beginners Clark, Christian Union. playing Mozart's Quintet for album every week with David clarinet and strings. welcome. £1. Guinness & Gossip 12.30pm. Williams. Tang Soodo 4.00pm. Sailing Club meeting above Gliding Club Union Gym. Beginners Stan's. Meeting 5.30pm. welcome. £1 members. WEDNESDAY Aero 254. Arrange trial flights, IC CathSoc Mass ..12.30pm. lifts to Lasham, talks and then Chemistry 231. Quiet and to the bar. contemplation between Sailing 12.30pm. Meet outside Southside. SUNDAY lectures or exams. Food Orienteering provided (50p). All welcome. IC Gay Okay 12.30pm. Training 5.30pm. Wargames Union Gym. Social meeting Boardsailing 12.30pm. Green Committee Room, Top Meeting 1.00pm. Floor of the Union Building. held from 6.30pm onwards. Senior Common Room. Regular meeting in Southside Lounge to organise trips. Ski Club 12.30pm. IC Choir Practice 5.45pm. Room 342, Mech Eng. Ski Club 12.45pm. Above Southside Bar. Meet for trip to dry ski slope for lessons Rehearsals of the Verdi MONDAY Above Southside Bar, sign up and recreational skiing. Bring Requiem. New members for lessons and recreational welcome. Rock Soc skiing. gloves and thick socks. Meeting 12.30pm. Golf Meeting 1.00pm. Judo 6.30pm. Southside Upper Lounge. QT Soc Meeting 1.00pm. Union Gym. Next beginners' Southside Upper Lounge (or Sudbury. Regular weekly Interested in any form of rock? meeting. course —January. Come along! Pizza Bar). Plot-hatching extravaganza! New members Caving Club Gay/Lesbian Group ..7.30pm. Curry Soc 12.30pm. welcome. Meeting I.OOpm. ULU Building, Malet Street. Weekly meeting. Southside Union Snack Bar. Mens group room 3a, womens Upper Lounge. Speaker Meeting 1.15pm. group room 2e. Meet weekly Read Theatre, Sherfield Wargames Meeting.. 1.OOpm. for speakers and booze. Parachute Club Building. 'Science: Master or Senior Common Room. Meeting 12.30pm. Servant?' by Lewis Stretch, Soul Express 9.00pm. Union Lower Lounge. See Max Engineer and ex Pro-Vice Improvers Rock n Roll IC Radio. Danny & Ken present Hunt von Herbing (Chairman). Chancellor, Aston University. 2.15pm. the best in soul, dance and Union Dining Hall. 80p. See house. Artsoc Meeting 12.30pm. Holy Qur'an Dance Club. SCR Union. Come to sign up Recitation 1.30pm. ICC AG Soup Run 9.15pm. and pay your money for tickets Prayer Room. See Islamic Shotokan Weeks Hall Basement. See for forth-coming events, eat Society. Karate 3.OOpm. Imperial College Community biscuits and drink coffee. Free Southside Gym. Beginners Action Group (ICCAG). to members (membership Islamic Circle 5.30pm. welcome. £1. £1.50). Prayer Room. See Islamic Society. Offbeat Practice 3.15pm. Recitation of Union Dining Hall. 80p. See Holy Qur'an 1.00pm. Amnesty Meeting ....5.30pm. Dance Club. Brown Committee Room. The deadline for What's 9 Prince's Gardens. See ULU Meditation Everyone welcome. On entries is Monday Islamic Society. Group 7.00pm. lunchtime. Please notify Golf Practice 5.30pm. Cinema & Food Room 3A, University of Union Gym. See Golf Club. Trip 6.00pm. London Union, Malet Street. us if an entry is wrong. Guilds Union Office. Drink, see Traditional breathing Concert Band Wish you were here' and then meditation. Everyone welcome. Rehearsal 5.45pm. stuff yourself in the West End No charge. '

FELIX Friday January 15th 1988 13 reviewj

pork pie hats and shades. If you miss them you can see them on Sunday at 9pm for £4 at the Half Moon, Putney. MUSICIf your appetite was whetted by Howlin' Wilf & the Vee Jays at College last term, you can see them at the Dublin Castle in Camden tonight at 8.30pm for £3, or tomorrow at the King's Head, Fulham High Street, at 8pm for £3. Punk fans can see Chelsea—remember them?— tonight at the Marquee in Wardour Street, Soho at 7pm for £3.50, and devotees of the speed poet John Cooper Clarke can see him in action at the Cricketer's, by the Oval at 8pm for £3. Marillion fans can try and buy by Phil Young a ticket from the touts to see them at Hammersmith Odeon between Hi! A belated welcome to 1988 from Saturday and Tuesday. the all-new FELIX music column, Gig of the week has to be Pop Will bringing you previews and reviews of Eat Itself'at ULU tonight at 7.30pm, Gig of the week: self-indulgent Pop Will Eat Itself at ULU tonight gigs and recrods, concentrating on £4.50 on the door, for a night of sexist non-mainstream music—those not in hip-hop grebols doing self-indulgent favour can go and listen to BBC thrash and parody. Album review: Radio. Recovering from the On Saturday 23rd, The Triffids play The Smiths—Strangeways here we come traditional Christmas gig wilderness, the Astoria and Echo and the the London live scene starts tonight! Bunnymen play Brixton Academy, Deterred from buying this one instrumental input. Don't be put off For those of you not going to see Eric Clapton appears on January because of the lousy music press by the single 'Girlfriend in a Coma'. Buday Curtess tonight at College, you 25-27, 29-31 at the Albert Hall. reviews, I find this album distinctive Gems like 'Stop Me If You've Heard could try the Boogie Brothers at Definitely worth missing are the from previous Smiths' material. A This One Before' and 'Last Night I Dingwall's, Camden at 8pm (£5). For Alarm on February 9 at Hammersmith noticable lack of Morrissey one-liners Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me' vibrant blues and soul complete with Odeon. is countered by a stronger put this album amongst their best.

Alviu Martin, but after a cup victory rorce, not given enough credit for Middlesborough were top but over Charlton last week, a draw their achievements. They are my top haved dropped back lately and could FOOTBALLseems likely . Watch out for the skills for the cup this year. Watford are a only draw with non-league Sutton last of Liam Brady whose curling free poor side with recent turmoil about week. 17 goal Slaven is their star kick goal last week was superb. Go their ownership not helping their striker. Millwall might just sneak it. by Adrian Grainger along to see football on plastic, its the league position. New man Steve last season at Loftus Road. Harrison has problems indeed. They Fulham v Port Vale struggled in the Cup and should Division 3, Craven Cottage, Tottenham v Coventry receive a lesson or two in this match. Putney Bridge (tube) Division 1, White Hart Lane, This doesn't seem on paper a very Seven Sisters (tube). Crystal Palace v Huddersfield exciting game, but you never know. The obvious comparisons will be Division 2, Selhurst Park, Fulham are a decent side and Terry made with this being the repeat of last Norwood Junction (BR) McCann will always stick with them. year's FA Cup Final. This match Palace are playing very well and I 18 goal Rosenior is the key. The lads though should be a reverse of that think that they are a good bet for from the potteries are near the foot May result, a classic match is promotion. I saw them demolish of the table. I saw a game at Vale Park unlikely. Terry Venables is slowly Plymouth 5-1 and their rhyming and about 5 years ago and the atmosphere forming Spurs into a winning side roaming strikers Bright and Wright of financial heartache and old with an impressive cup win at Oldham (37 goals between them this season) traditions was a saddening feeling. A week after the FA Cup third round, under his belt. Clive Allen seems also being devastating. Huddersfield have Fulham should win. London's teams return to the league to have returned to form. Coventry new manager Malcolm MacDonald trail with some exciting matches in are struggling near the foot of the but are still smarting from their 0-1 Leyton Orient v Crewe prospect: table and are finding it tough to live defeat at Manchester City. Palace Division 4, Brisbane Road, All matches are on Saturday as cup winners. Regis is playing well should take the 3 points without Leyton (tube) January 16th with 3pm kick-offs. though with memories of his great breaking into a gallop. The home team with their new name days at WBA. The walk from the tube are second in the league and deserve Queens Park Rangers v West Ham is 25 minutes long, so I would wait Millwall v Middlesborough to climb up a division. The East Division 1, Loftus Road, for a better match than this to see. Division 2, The Den, London reds are in round four of the Shepherds Bush (tube) New Cross (tube) FA Cup which may prove a A clash between the hooped Rangers Wimbledon v Watford Although this is the match of the day distraction though. Crewe are mid- and the pride of East London is Division 1, Plough Lane, in the second division, I would keep table, better than usual for them, and mouth-watering. QPR have faltered Wimbledon Park (tube). well clear. I saw Millwall at West have a good away record. Orient's lately but are still a force with new Wimbledon are 'on a roller' with six Ham and their bad reputation with form should see them pull further signing Mark Falco settling in well, straight wins including a demolition their fans is justified. There were 40 away with Wolves at the top scoring two FA Cup goals last week. of WBA last week. John Fashanu, arrests at Arsenal in the cup last week West Ham have had their problems Vinny Jones and other part-time as well. Tony Cascarino is Millwall's London game of the day: this year v.'th injuries to key men like players have made the Dons a strong best player, a fighting 17 goal striker. QPR v West Ham.

Friday January 15th 1988 FELIX vim Fatal Attraction New York attorney Dan Gallagher is happily married. However, when wife and daughter are out of town, he Predator has a passionate affair with Alex As one would expect, bulging biceps Forrest, an unmarried publishing and macho wise-cracks abound in executive. For Dan, this is a Predator, the latest production whirlwind thing—intense but starring Arnold 'intelligent shortlived. However Alex wants Schwarzenegger. Arnie, plus team of more. seasoned mercenaries do battle with After the heap of excrement that a high-tech alien who seems to want was the designer S & M of 9'A Near Dark to kill anything warm-blooded he Weeks, Adrian Lyne now tries his Near Dark is another contemporary who just shot him with it) but never comes across for no particular reason hand at designer psychopathology and vampire story—vampires on the road, are they glamourised: they are whatsoever. Despite having some of the result isn't much better than his in a way. Farm boy Caleb Cotton, unremittingly evil. The film also the deadliest man-portable artillery previous work. In this film, culture looking for excitement, takes a manages to steer clear of a few cliches you're ever likely to see, the men get is a fondness of Madame Butterfly, strangely beautiful young woman, such as the long fangs—but the picked off one by one very much in and style amounts to expensive Mae, for a ride in his truck. As dawn vampire mythology has also been Alien style, but without the clothes, famous locations and flashy approaches, she demands to be taken changed a little bit, to allow a blood imagination or subtlety of that film editing. At one point, we cut back so home and he insists on a kiss first. She transfusion to cure the afflicted. However Predator is well produced often to Alex's seemingly lifeless bites his neck and runs off. Since his Despite this Near Dark is qutie close and, treated with the amount of body in a bath that you just can't not truck won't start Caleb has to walk to Bram Stoker's Dracula making respect you might give an episode of know that she's going to rise up." home—and the sun, when it rises,. many of the latter's submerged the A-Team, is good entertainment Much has been made out of the sears his flesh. And so"begins what themes, especially the erotic and proffers a few laughs. steamy scenes between Alex and Dan, is probably the most off-beat vampire undertones, more explicit. A.K. but Fatal Attraction is actually quite movie since The Hunger. Near Dark Caleb finds himself unable to kill conservative. Dan and Alex may have homes in on the hysterical violence . his own victims and therefore has to sex in a kitchen sink, but the big beneath a folksy surface, like David lead a parasitical existence off Mae. message of the film is 'don't stray Lynch's Blue Velvet. An innocent boy And the scenes in which he drinks her from the path'. is drawn by his desire for something blood from her wrists are intensely Fatal Attraction seems to me to be different into a sado-erotic nightmare and disturbingly erotic. In other yet another addition to the yuppies- world, which threatens to destroy words, vampirism is the ultimate in-peril catalogue of films. However, him. And, as in Blue Velvet, Caleb zipless sex. THE A THE it is also noticibly a product of the overcomes the monstrous vampire Near Dark is almost as much a post-AIDS sexual climate. Alex, family so that the good and normal Western as it is a vampire film. Caleb excellently played by Glenn Close, one can prevail. engineers the escape of the vampires rapidly loses her character, becoming Whereas Blue Velvet centres on its from a police ambush—and is Ian McKellen Acting a vengeful rampaging psychopath. young hero's fantasies, Near Dark rewarded by Severen giving him one Dan's part in the affair, and therefore makes skillful use of the vampire of his spurs. Later, when Caleb rides Shakespeare what should be his share of the blame, genre to give Caleb's battle for out to confront the vampires he does The Playouse, Adjacent to is quickly forgotten in a knock down, survival a mythic dimension. The so on a horse. And the final battle has Embankment Underground Station drag out fight. Alex, it is made clear vampires stand for Society's outcasts, a definite show-down feel to it. This is probably one of the best one- from the start, is bad news—you are wandering the land wreaking unholy Near Dark is a thoughtful film- man shows that London has ever beaten over the head with this. Alex vengeance: their battle scarred leader, one of the few in the vampire genre seen—actor Ian McKellen takes his is overtly sexy—Dan's wife plain, just Jesse, sporting long rider coat and which actually raises the question of audience on a tour of the life and plays pretty. Alex's loft is barren, bleak, pony tail, fought for the doomed whether or not it's nice to be a of William Shakespeare. He plays the filmed in colourless tones. Dan's flat South in the civil war. His partner, vampire, and gives a real impression part of the playwright, as well as all is homely clutter, filmed in warm Diamond Back, was a wanderer. of the difficulties involved in sucking of his famous characters—and he does inviting colours. And if the audience 'Young' Homer was a high school blood: T hate it when they don't it all without one change of costume. still doesn't get the message, Alex's misfit and the pathologically blood shave' complains Severen, just before McKellen switches from Prince Hal loft is pointedly set in the meat- thirsty Severen sports bikers jacket tucking in. to Hamlet to Polonius to Juliet with packing district of the city. The poor and spurs. If you're in the mood for something awesome ease. His performance woman never stood a chance. The vampires are sometimes treated a bit off the wall, but not too much inspires even the most unliterary in What at first seems to start as an with black humour (Jesse coughs up so, Near Dark is probably your kind his audience who have never even intelligent film about adultery soon a bullet and hands it back to the man of film. heard of Shakespeare. becomes pretty objectionable in the C.R. This is a must—it's a great night way it relies on an image of the out. The run has been extended to sexually independent single woman as January 30th and all proceeds go to clinging and psychotic. Give Fatal The Woo-Woo Kid the London Lighthouse AIDS Attraction a miss—it's long, heavily A charming story of 'Sonny' with a light, rather glossy, Hollywood hospice. over-directed in places and ultimately Wisecarver, a 15 year old who style but is definitely amusing and Students can get best available seats the male comes out on top yet again. became something of a national occasionally hilarious. The central immediately before the performance C.R. celebrity in wartime America, after character, Sonny, was often at £5, one ticket per person, upon becoming romantically entangled with reminiscent of Woody Allen in his presentation of your Union Card. two married women, and bemused innocence, and the whole Monday to Thursday at 8pm Aaron Kotcheff subsequently chased around the film had a modest, unimposing Friday to Saturday at 9pm Charles Robin country by the authorities and scandal atmosphere rare to American cinema. Firday and Saturday at 6.30pm hungry press. The story is treated A.K. C.R.

FELIX Friday January 15th 1988 15 Imperial College

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PARACHUTE CLUB

Before starting this week's article I feel it necessary to reply to my critics. Maximising the jumps To all the people I have either upset or angered, it was never my intention to and I do apologise. The comments made have been noted and I shall We have another first time jump attempt to follow them. course. It is organised for the I must make it clear that this evenings of Feburary 2nd and 3rd for column is not an official communique ground training in College. First from the St Mary's Student Union, jumps will be on the weekend of the merely the personal view of one 6th and 7th of February—weather student (who tries to reflect typical permitting. The cost is £65 and £4 student life). membership plus a £15 deposit is This month it has been pleasing to required ahead of time. Our meetings see three students from St Mary's are at 12.30pm on Mondays in the playing in national rugby trials with Union Lower Lounge. Come next Kevin Simms (Wasps), a regular Monday to book your place. England Centre returning to the team Those who have seen me already playing the French at the Pare des about this course please come along Princes in Paris. The other two on Monday as well or contact me players—Sean O'Leary (also of through pigeonholes. Wasps) and Richard Wintle (London Max Hung von Herbing, Welsh) playing second row and right Chairman, Parachute Club. wing respectively, distinguished themselves playing for the seconds sides in the respective national trials. hot cheese on the cold ham but others ham and sprinkle the top with the It must be noted that all three do not like to bake the dish. The quantities extra cheese. Grill until the top begins play for St Mary's regularly, only for shown should give you a healthy meal to brown. the special occasions which include for one. the Hospital's Cup and the annual If the hot—cold combination does not Cambridge University fixture. Ingredients appeal to you then try baking at 180 Eligible to play for St Mary's are a 15g butter deg C for 20 minutes before grilling. whole team of excellent players Vi tbs. flour regularly turning out for noted COOKERY V* pint milk Good appetite. London sides. One cannot for a 50g grated cheese minute disagree with their decision to 2 celery hearts, halved gain deserved recognition by playing CLUB (or asparagus shoots) for clubs that can offer a good fixture 4 slices of ham list. Celery and ham The problem is Catch 22. St Mary's Method can no longer offer first class fixtures rollers Melt the butter and remove from the to entice quality players, but on the heat. Add the flour and cook the roux other hand in the new league system for 1 minute. Gradually stir in the one has to earn the right for first class This is an extremely easy meal to milk and bring it to the boil. Add most fixtures. Thus the problem cannot be cook and is ideal as lunch or a late of the cheese and season to taste. resolved due to the unusual situation supper. You can substitute asparagus Wrap each bit of celery in a slice of a student team playing good rugby shoots for the celery hearts if you of ham and place it in a grill proof of the time but never able to realise prefer. I like the combination of the dish. Pour the cheese sauce over the the full potential of the talent available. What can be done has been demonstrated with a string of victories including Hospitals' Cups, 7-a-side competitions and last year's win WIN £50 against Cambridge University. Not bad for a potential pool of only 250 male students, of which only xh are DEBATING seriously interested in the game. Rugby has, and will continue to COMPETITION play a large part in the social strata Meet Physics UG Common Room, Level 2 of life at St Mary's, and while it may 12.30pm WED 20th JAN not be the sole reason for the outside world to know of St Mary's and its EVERYONE WELCOME high standards it must be pretty close.

FELIX Friday January 15th 1988 17 The parties of my formative years consisted of spiked orange juices and throwing up in the kitchen. I could Small Ads never understand why I let myself go through that same old Friday night ritual. I could sit for hours in the same armchair, with a fixed grin and ANNOUNCEMENTS obligatory gin & tonic, watching them Join IC Choir and sing the chatting up girls with nervous giggles Verdi Requiem, come to Room and 34a busts. I would feel my week- 342, Mech Eng, Thursday at long inhibitions floating away as the 5.45pm wall fixtures began to rotate mysteriously and I would have an Guilds dinner and dance: will inexplicable urge to visit a bucket. people who have bought tickets please give their seating Discos are worse. One evening preferences to the Guilds Office, over Christmas my best friend at and state whether they would school and his latest girlfriend Sue like a vegetarian meal. insisted that we should go to I found Christmas really depressing though my old friends just said Bean's Run on Monday this year. The endless reunion parties 'boring'. 'Grooving' in Hainsham. Sue January 18. Meet at Holbein, with old school friends who were still I don't consider myself boring. It's promised that this newly-opened 6.30pm, runners leave at 7pm. drinking too much and smoking too those eggheads that sit in the front nightclub would make the ideal Notice is herby given for all much. I think it depressed me because row and know all the right questions evening out. So I spent the. evening with my obligatory gin & tonic, former residents of Bernard I started to realise that I had somehow to ask that are. I'm just more Sunley House, 40-44 Evelyn watching heaving, sweating bodies grown away from the people I used confident than I used to be since Gdns, SW7, who still have to hang around with. I no longer coming to university. I don't feel that gyrating mindlessly to mindless pop. properties in the attic of the wanted to party into the night, drink I have to pretend anymore when I go The charts are full this dross House to remove all their too much or smoke too much. I put to a party. I've never really liked them nowadays. I suppose it's because the articles before January 31 1988. this down to being Tmperialised', all that much, or discos, come to that. only people who can afford to buy Failure to do so before this date singles in 88 are those that run the will result in all articles being damned discos. It only takes 20,000 forwarded to the auction sale of sales and you've made it. Radio One February 6. S only makes it worse. I get really Cricket Club: Indoor nets KEVIN irritated when I find myself singing every Tuesday 8-9pm, MCC, along to it. I don't want to. I've found Lord's Ground, meet 7pm Mech myself brainwashed by the Eng foyer. background music and the backside chatter. FOR SALE I must admit that Christmas wasn't Celestion Ditton 44 monitor just a string of parties and family get speakers. 3-unit, teak, fabulous togethers. I did meet some people that sound but a bit scratched, £1 20 (pair). Akai open reel stereo tape I hadn't seen since school. I was recorder, perfect, £75 (inc some shocked to discover how many of my tapes). Quad AM2 tuner, 1958, contemporaries had got engaged since mint condition, £60. Pair Leak then, and one had been married for Variscope 3 preamps, offers? five months! I'll soon be the only See Andy in Norman's or via bachelor in Hainsham. This doesn't Felix Office. worry me that much because I intend VW Polo, T-reg, manilla green, to make the most of being single. 42,000 miles, one owner, I think the best thing that happened garaged, dealer serviced, £890, to me at Christmas was EastEnders. phone int 3035. It's suddenly got really good again. Roneo duplicator going cheap. I've managed to miss both of this Contact Al Birch on 3624 int for week's episodes but I plan to catch details (it's in Cambridge but them on Sunday. We all think Lofty transport can be arranged). will top himself. Let's hope we're right. PERSONAL SF Soc announce their Chris Jones remake of 'Scanners' starring BO)U»r\q Mficp FELIX libel writer as the exploding head. BRPULC Dai Rocking—we're more PHOENIX likely to die laughing-BRPULC the literary magazine of What's the matter Simmo? Imperial College Union Can't you 'hack' the pace in the hills? requires new poems, Simmo you're too fat—start photos, short stories A/siy Ua y dieting. and artwork. Please Just when Cosmic thought it send them to Liz was safe to go back to reading Holford, c/o FELIX. the small ads...PPSoc return!

18 Friday January 15th 1988 FELLX J_LX Letters

standard slogan was then 'Backs against the wall, it's the Q. If there's a balding patch liberals'. The Socialist Society actually circulated a spoof in the neighbourhood, who do of our 'Forward!' newsletter, called 'Sideways!' full of you call? anti-gay jokes. I am sure that much of this material can A. CosBusters! Fur falls foul be found in the Union archives, and I ask Mr Papa to look it up before spreading more smears about the Liberal Party. First there was Steve Austin, a man barely alive. Now PPSoc I campaigned for Simon Hughes because he stands for brings you Cosmic—a man the sort of radical Liberalism I believe in, and which is barely. of secretaries now threatened by merger with the SDP. Seeing Simon elected as MP for Bermondsey was one of the proudest We warn thee SFSoc, QT are moments of my life, and I am sorry that the Labour Party, just a front. The power lies with PPSoc. Dear Judith, the world's worse losers, continues to tell lies about the I write with reference to the article in the last issue of election. Could the gentleman with the FELIX about the fur trade, specifically the paragraph Yours sincerely, frame tent please answer the stating that 'most young secretaries' were responsible for Matthew Huntbach, Dept of Computing. door? the sale of cheap furs. Not only was it insulting to Can the man with shares in secretaries but on the whole meaningless and I feel that Kleenex please contact the the printing of it was very insensitive on your part, monkey who used all her's at considering that young secretaries make up a large number the new year? of the non-academic staff at Imperial. The Paul Kendall four-step The statement itself, made by a furrier, just goes to show guide to Oxford pub how out of touch they are with the public's awareness. Hamlet's seductions...(i) spin, (ii) dive, If they are finding it so hard to sell cheap fur then why (iii) crush, (iv) burn. do they go on butchering animals, and trying to persuade Simon Bradshaw...proof that women that wearing dead rabbits on their backs is still the RAF employ nancy boys! glamourous and desirable. hardships Nancy—May the (air) force be Yours sincerely, with you! Kay Randall, Secretary, Chemistry Dept. Bradders—just what sort of Dear Judith, night exercise did you get up to On Tuesday December 1 the warden of Hamlet Gardens on that camp? was notified that the immersion heater in flat 210 Hamlet Gardens was not functioning thereby causing the residents Is Doze a cradle snatcher? of the above some discomfort, as they could not even wash See Alien with John Hurt- Glad to be properly. In the two weeks after the defect was reported very hurt. the warden was re-notified at least three times until on Watch Alien with SF Soc for Wednesday December lb a letter was sent by the residents a real gut-wrenching experience. proposing to go and see the fair rent officer for Liberal Hammersmith if the defect was not repaired. A repair was Trinity College, this is London carried out on the following day (December 17). calling. Chaning or non-chaning? From the Humpy Fiddler. Dear FELIX, On the evening of Saturday December 19 the water I must object to James Papa's suggestion (FELIX 788) heater again ceased to function. We think we have Baw! The unexplained. A that Liberals used the slogan T haven't been kissed by Peter reasonable cause to feel that neither the warden of Hamlet place where cats disappear TatchelF in the 1983 Bermondsey by-election. I worked Gardens nor Strolmoor Ltd, the landlords, are fulfilling without trace. We cannot for Simon Hughes, the successful Liberal candidate their obligations to these students of Imperial College who explain this. That's why it's called...bawl The unexplained. throughout this by-election, and never once saw or heard are in residence at Hamlet Gardens. this slogan or anything else anti-gay used by Liberals. We wish to protest in the strongest manner possible Peckham's law: Beauty times It is often forgotten that right up until the last week of about the amount of attention afforded to the above flat brains equals a constant. the by-election it was seen as a two horse race between (and probably the rest of Hamlet Gardens) by the two To whoever nicked my laser Labour's Peter Tatchell, and John O'Grady the agents in question. card, good luck on your life of Independent Labour candidate. The Economist actually W J M Keys, Andrew Marsh, David Hendy, T P crime, even though I hope it's printed a cartoon of the two of them on horses a week Weggett. an extremely short one. Rob before the by-election. Most of the anti-gay smears that (pissed off with amateur crooks) appeared came from the O'Grady campaign, the rest from Howes (MRE 1). Return c/o Bank of Kerovnia. the Tories, NF etc. It is possible that some O'Grady supporters, realising their cause was hopeless, came over Dinosaur Tiddlywinks— in the last few days to help Simon Hughes and continued sounds a bit elite-ist to me. Still, to use anti-gay smears on the doorsteps. At this stage in as long as Sid doesn't find out, Cocktail the campaign there were hundreds of people coming to eh? help, and it was obviously impossible to check the political soundness of every volunteer who turned up. But I am sure if anyone had been heard using the slogan mentioned Deadline for all by James Papa they would have been told to leave. thank you Liberals have long been the party which has worked Small Ads is hardest for gay rights. Labour has jumped on the issue Monday in their usual inept way and only whipped up more Dear Judith, prejudice. Many of my Liberal friends are gay. As an I would like to take this opportunity to thank Sarah Cox Lunchtimes undergraduate at IC in the late 1970s, and a member of and all the students who acted as hosts at the Guilds (1.30pm) the IC Liberal Club then, at the time the most active Cocktail Party. The event was a tremendous success. If political society in College, I remember being constantly anyone is interested in seeing the letters of thanks then hassled for our support of gay rights, particularly as the please contact me in the Guilds Office. Jeremy Thorpe case was then in the headlines. The Dave Tyler, Guilds President.

FELIX Friday January 15th 1988 19 News Student grants set to Central Stores to close

College administration has announced central service. He is confident that that they plan to re-organise the many suppliers are willing to deliver rise by 4 per cent. College Central Stores. The present to individual departments at short stores will continue to organise notice. He told us that 'departments storage, delivery and collection of gas can get most supplies cheaper cylinders, and purchase and storage elsewhere any way'. He believes that Student grants are to be increased by him in Parliament.. of cleaning materials. The stationery this plan is ideal because it cuts 4% next academic year, it was Undergraduate grants for London stores will be moved to Sherfield and staffing costs and each department can announced by Education Secretary students will rise from £2330 to all scientific consumables will be de- cater for its own specialist needs. He Kenneth Baker last month. The £2425 and postgraduate grants from centralised. The stores staff have said that the response has been 'quite Secretary of State was forced to £3492 to £3630. argued that this is effectively closing positive so far' from departments and announce the figures for 1988/89 The threshold for parental incomes, the Stores from August 1 this year. he expects savings to be in the order when Andrew Bennett, MP, asked and the points on the contribution John Smith, in a circulated letter, of £100,000. As far as job losses were scale at which the contribution claims that 'these changes are concerned he said that 'no pressure changes, will be uprated on average expected to make savings on staff has been put on staff to take by about 6.5%. Parents whose costs, space, vehicle cost and redundancy'. Residual Contribution residual income is below £9900 will maintenance, and the reduction of NALGO representative Janice Income not be assessed for a contribution. stocks held centrally'. However, the Lewis is arranging a campaign to save £ £ The minimum contribution will rise Stores staff say that only Central Central Stores to start next Monday. 9900 50 from £40 to £50. Finance will save money as the She is angry that the College 10000 64 Union Welfare Officer Pippa expense is shifted from Central administration have no concrete 11.000 207 Salmon said yesterday that 'in view Administration' to the departments. arguments for their decision. She is 12000 350 of the fact that housing prices in the They believe that College stocks will also concerned about the lack of 12600 435 South East have gone up by 20% this have to increase overall, rather than consultation between the staff, 12700 455 year and rents accordingly, this being reduced, if sixteen de- administration and the departments 12800 475 increase is laughably small for centralised stores are set up and which will have to take on their own 12900 495 Imperial students'. therefore the space needed to store purchasing and supplies; she believes 13000 515 Union President Ian Howgate was these items will increase. that 'it clearly hasn't been thought 14000 715 also quick to condemn such a small Mr Smith has also assured all through properly'. Other staff believe 15000 915 increase. He said, 'my personal Central Stores staff that they will be the plan to be 'short-sighted' and 16000 1115 feeling is that 4% is obviously 'offered alternative work within the 'naive'. 17000 1315 insufficent. The instalment of the cut College'. Both the staff and their The NALGO campaign will consist 18000 1515 in Housing Benefit in April means union representatives from IC of posters, lobbying for departmental 18400 1595 that they are instigating the student NALGO believe that nine jobs will be support and a petition which all 18500 1620 loan system already.' He went on to lost as a result as technicians and students are invited to sign. The staff 19000 1745 call for a co-ordinated national handlers are persuaded to take have already made representations to 20000 1995 campaign by students. 'We need a voluntary redundancy. the Rector. 21000 2245 national union which operates The staff feelings are running very If you wish to sign the petition, 22000 2495 properly but unfortunately we don't high at the moment. They believe that Central Stores staff have given 23000 2745 have one of those,' he said. 'At the administration have not treated them FELIX a copy which students can 24000 2995 moment we can't fight the Thatcherite fairly and have let the Central Stores sign. 25000 3245 government without proper run down over the last ten years. They 26000 3495 coordination.' argue that great savings can be made Meanwhile 1200 items are out of 27000 3745 FELIX carried out a straw poll in through central ordering and Stores stock in Central Stores due to the 28000 3995 the Union Building yesterday and modernisation which has been breakdown of computers in Sherfield 29000 4245 couldn't find one student who was rejected by administration. at the beginning of December. 30000 4495 satisfied with the increase. Most There is a joint purchasing power 21000 4745 people we asked thought that 4% was of £'/2 million and Requisitions 31620 4900 'dreadful' and that most new students believe that they can save £50,000 a (max) next year would certainly have to rely year through centralised bulk on top up loans. , purchasing from the right suppliers. LRT rise This 'could wipe out the £3m deficit' From January 10 London Regional rather than trying to skimp on a few Transport has operated its increased Undergraduate Postgraduate jobs. The discounts are much less for fares which once again will hit £ £ small purchases. students' pockets. A two zone ticket Mr Terry Neville, who has the will now cost 80p (previously 70p) Hall or lodgings overall responsibility for Central and a three zone ticket increased to (i) London 2425 (2330) 3630 (3492) Stores, told FELIX yesterday that £1.10 (£1 before). However travel on 2050 (1972) (ii) Elsewhere 2975 (2859) departments had 'voted with there bus or tube in the central zone feet' over the last few years. He remains the same at 50p. Travelcards Parental home 1630 (1567) 2160 (2075) believes that departments can demand have gone up by 30p to £2 and all the same discounts as the present zone Capitalcards now cost £2.60.

FELIX is published by the Editor for and on behalf of Imperial College Union Publication Board and is printed by the Imperial College Union Print Unit, Prince Consort Road, London, SW7 2BB (Tel 01-589 5111 ext 3515). Editor: Judith Hackney. Business Manager- Chris Martin. Copyright FELIX 1988 ISSN 1040-0711.

20 Friday January 15th 1988 FELIX JUMP & JIVE & SPLIT VOUR SIDES WITH IC ENTS_ AT CARNIVAL 88 featuring bands; oo BUDDY CURTESS & THE GRASSHOPPERS 'Quite simply the test party band in the world' JIVIN' INSTRUCTORS< W's flock 'n' Boll by one of the tightest acts going' comedy:^

MARK MIWURDZ->s Might ffom the socialist republic of South Yorkshire, Mark has

been on the way up since his residency on the tube'

JON MOLONEY —'The angriest young acordian player in the world'

WENDY Ill-Very interesting stand up' All this plus disco, late bar, cocktails, food, jy* happy hour, films, etc etc. TICKETS: . £1 (IC Ents Card), £2.50 (adv),rf £3 (on the door) from Union Office & Norman's DOORS OPEN 8pm FRIDAY 15th JAN 88 W CARNIVAL 88

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