Volume 7 • Issue 1 February 2002 Heart to Heart Bound Together Forever

FAMILIES WITH CHILDREN FROM CHINA – OREGON AND SW WASHINGTON The Gift of Language by Charlie Dolezal id you every have any regrets about your childhood? ber going to the FCC Saturday morning Mandarin classes. D Did you ever wish you had done something Hannah went for several months and never said a word. differently? Well, I do. I regret never having taken a foreign Then, one day in her car seat, she sang one of the songs. language. It wasn’t required. Language arts was not my best She was listening. She took it in. Children are like sponges. subject, so how could I excel at in another language? My We are fortunate here in Portland to have so many parents didn’t push me to take one. My dad always told language immersion programs, both public and private, to the story how his parents made the decision upon immigrating choose from. As FCC members we all have a tie to to America that their kids had to learn English to be a real Mandarin. We have elementary Mandarin programs at Americans and leave the “old” country behind. Thus, they never Woodstock (public school) and The International School taught my dad and his brothers and sisters their native tongue. (private school). In addition, there are immersion pro- When did I regret it? I regretted it on my first trip to Europe grams in French, German, Spanish, and Japanese to avail- with three college friends. We got a 48-hour visa to visit able in our community. We are blessed with the choices. Czechoslovakia, then on the other side of the Iron Curtain. What are the benefits? They are on so many levels. Let’s take We were asking a little old lady directions at the train station the current economic downturn. A recent article in the in Prague. She saw my name on my passport. She couldn’t Oregonian touted the marketability of a person who is fluent understand that with a Czech name as common as Smith or in a second language. Things are different then they were for Jones would be here, why couldn’t I speak any Czech? Later, my grandfather, the on that same trip when I was passing through Paris, there blacksmith, in Kildeer, N.D. was a rude train ticket salesperson trying to tell me to go to He did not see much the North Station to catch the train to Hamburg. Who really value for his children in was the rude one? I was in his country expecting him to learning a second lan- Inside speak my language. The following year I bought a round the guage. In today’s global world plane ticket. I was on one of the Greek isles, the Island economy, your largest of Hydra. I can still remember that 8-year-old boy. He could New Arrivals ...... 3 customer could be in speak eight languages that he had picked up from all the Japan, China, or Europe. Upcoming Events . . . . . 4 tourists visiting his island. I was three times his age and I President’s Message . . . . 5 could speak only one! Think of the community service you could Children’s Books ...... 7 Where did we go wrong? First of all, we were starting too provide knowing a late. Back in my school days you could not begin to take a Playgroups ...... 8 second language. There language until junior high. Recent studies in Canada show Family Focus-Books . . . 9 was a recent article in there is a window of opportunity as far as language goes. the Asian reporter Education ...... 10 The conclusion is that you should start before age ten. warning readers not to Volunteer Profile . . . . . 13 These studies also show it is easier to pick up additional get sick if they can’t languages if you already have a second one. I can remem- Continued on back page

– 1 – FCC – Oregon and SW Washington PO Box 5642 • Portland, OR • 503-295-6322

B OARD OF DIRECTORS

Sheri Campbell , President ...... 503-282-0593 ...... [email protected] Marjorie McRae , Vice President ...... 503-287-5579 ...... [email protected] Cindra Leonard ...... 503-650-8651 ...... [email protected] Tim Mitchell , Treasurer ...... 503-534-9184 ...... [email protected] Charlie Dolezal , Director ...... 503-246-9721 ...... [email protected] Vance Corum , Director ...... 360-693-5500 ...... [email protected] Lori Price , Director ...... 503-644-0476 ...... [email protected] Glen Robichaud , Director ...... 503-284-1123 ...... [email protected] Terry Rost , Director ...... 503-656-0989 ...... [email protected]

COMMITTEES

Membership Sarah Edwards ...... 503-697-7826 . . . . . [email protected] Advocacy & Public Policy Jamie Ross ...... 503-279-9184 . . . . . [email protected] Waiting Families Mina Bacigaluupi ...... 503-635-5382 . . . . . [email protected] Culture & Education/Speakers Karen Art ...... 503-655-4588 . . . . . [email protected] Outreach Programs Cathy Rowland ...... 503-635-5653 . . . . . [email protected]

OTHER CONTACTS

Database Amy Bullock ...... 503-252-4437 . . . . . [email protected] Newsletter Debra McIntyre, Editor . . 503-292-0439 . . . . . [email protected] Claudia Wood ...... 503-292-3760 . . . . . [email protected] Single Parent Activities Terri Salvino ...... 503-335-8455 Play Group Coordinators Portland Katherine Zieman ...... 503-695-3494 . . . . . [email protected] Vancouver Suzanne Burke ...... 360-456-2995 . . . . . [email protected] Educational Resource Shellie Smith ...... 503-259-0467 . . . . . [email protected] Volunteer Coordinator Lisa Mitchell ...... 503-534-9184 . . . . . [email protected] Chinese New Year Chairperson Vicki Paulson ...... 503-289-8287 . . . . . [email protected] Web master Day Tooley ...... 503-246-8709 . . . . . [email protected] Book Sales Debra Hall ...... 503-246-9721 . . . . . [email protected]

Website Local ...... www.fcc-oregon.org/ National ...... www.fwcc.org/

Purpose of FCC-Oregon and SW Washington The ideas and opinions ex- Families with Children from China is a nonprofit organization serving members in Oregon and SW pressed in this newsletter Washington by providing information, support, and activities for individuals interested in adoption are those of the individual from China. FCC is dedicated to promoting awareness of Chinese culture, and fostering ties between authors and do not neces- our children and their heritage. FCC also advocates for orphans in China. Membership includes a sarily reflect those of the newsletter published three times annually, and the support and friendship of others in the community other FCC members. and Chinese communitites. – 2 – From the Editor ... by Debra McIntyre

In this issue, we introduce new pictures. Marti will be a regular contributor to the news- contributors to the newsletter. letter. For this issue, she covered our Chinese New Shellie Smith volunteered to take Celebration and wrote the article Traveling Light. Thank over as the Educational Resource you, Marti. Coordinator. We appreciate all of Diane Hoobler ’s Charlie Dolezal wrote a perspective article titled The tenacious research efforts to keep us all informed of Gift of Language. resources in our area. Thank you, Diane. And, thank you Shellie for volunteering. Nancy O’Hara volunteered to For families who participated in Patricia Scoggs survey, write New Arrival’s column. We are having a heck of a you can read more about her findings in this issue’s article time hearing from families. Any suggestions from our titled Building Cultural Bridges. readers? We want to provide a short announcement of A special thanks to Vicki Paulson (and her ever-patient any new arrival. We can also provide a picture. (Digital or family) for organizing this year’s Chinese New Year scanned images are the easiest.) Celebration. Her experience and calm demeanor has Marti Farris contacted me to offer her help on the been an inspiration to us all. Vicki, thank you so much for newsletter. She plans to cover our FCC events and take all of your hard work.

New Arrivals by Nancy O’Hara ▲ Emily Breeden and big sister, Katherine (Katie) Xuzhang, joyfully an- nounce the arrival of Lucia (Lucy) Meiling Breeden . Lucy was born on September 1, 2000 in the city of Yangjiang, Guangdong Province. She was united with her family on July 2, 2001 and now lives in Salem, Or- egon. On being a big sister, Katie says, “I like changing her diaper and playing with her a lot.” Not so sure about the diapers, Emily remarks, “I feel incredibly lucky to have another beautiful, sweet, funny daughter.” ▲ Brian and Kim Felder welcomed home their daughter Grace Mei Lin Felder , born on November 18, 2000 in Yangjiang, Guangdong Province. They were united with Grace on November 19, 2001. Congratulations! ▲ Alicia, Brad and Adeline Fecker (three and 1/2 year-old big sister from Anhui Province) announce the arrival of Lydia Renee Fecker . Lydia was born on August 25, 2000 in Gaozhou City, Guangdong Province. Adeline proved to be a great help to her parents and little sister on the trip, who, according to Alicia, “looked to her older sister for guidance and reassurance.” Alicia writes, “We left for China as a family of three on August 11, 2001 and on August 12th we were, in the blink of a tear, a family of four.” The family returned to Portland on August 23rd. ▲ You Lian Sophia Weiner was born on August 14, 2000 and adopted by Ellen Goldsmith and Gary Weiner in the Hunan Province on September 18, 2001. The family returned to Portland on September 28, 2001. Welcome home! ▲ Michelle Braulick, Michael Armentrout and big sister, Molly (4 1/2, Nanning, Guangxi Province) celebrate the homecoming of Megan , born June 12, 2000, also from Nanning, Guangxi! Michelle remarks that having Molly on their journey really helped little sister Megan during the adjustment period. “She is a wonderful big sister and has certainly eased Megan’s transition to our family.” The family returned from China on September 21, 2001. Both Megan and Molly lived with foster families for part of their lives in China and the family was able to visit with both foster families during their trip. We are eager to introduce new arrivals to our newsletter. Please contact Nancy O’Hara at 503-699-5052 or e-mail at [email protected].

– 3 – Storage Space Needed

FCC needs storage space in someone’s home or business for paper goods, art supplies, drink coolers, signs, banners, etc. We are looking for a waterproof, safe, easily accessible storage space at least 5’x10' in the Portland area for our supplies. If you have ideas for storage space, please call Sheri Campbell at 503-282-0593 or e-mail [email protected]

March 5, 2002 Northwest China Council is presenting a lecture titled Unbound Feet, Unbound Voices. This will be held at Portland Membership Coordinator State. For more information check their web site www.nwchina.org or phone 503-973-5431. Needed FCC is looking for a volunteer to be the Membership April 6, 2002 Coordinator. This person works with the Membership Chinese Folk Dance starts spring term session. Two classes are Database Coordinator to publish a member directory offered, one for children 4-5, the second for children 6-10. To each year (usually in January or February) and to learn more contact Multnomah Arts Center 503-823-2787. distribute and receive the annual membership renew- April 6-7, 2002 als (usually beginning in June or July). This volunteer position also includes sending occasional information The Portland Classical Chinese Garden will celebrate this ancient festival, known in China as Qing Ming. The Garden packets to families who are interested in joining FCC, will have special events for children during this time. sending thank-you letters to families who have made donations to FCC, and responding to general mem- April 8, 2002 bership inquiries. Northwest China Council is presenting a lecture titled Sweet Cakes, Long Journey: The urban Pattern of Portland Oregon’s First If you are interested or would lie to learn more about Chinatown. For more information check their web site this volunteer position, please contact: Sarah Edwards www.nwchina.org or phone 503-973-5431. (current Membership Coordinator) at 503-697-7826 June 1, 2002 or send an e-mail message to [email protected]. The Portland Classical Chinese Garden plans to celebrate International Children’s Day. Activities will include hands-on projects for children, storytelling, and a Lion Dance workshop. Co-sponsored by FCC and the Northwest China Council. For FCC E-mail Newsgroup more information, call the Garden or check their web site. June 2002 FCC has a new e-mail newsgroup to encourage a dialog among our adoptive families in the Oregon/SW Portland Rose Festival Dragon Boat Races and the Junior Rose Washington area. This will allow us to share effective Festival Parade. Watch your mailbox for more information. advocacy strategies, create support networks, and tell July 5-7, 2002 others about opportunities they may not know about. Heritage Camp, sponsored by Journeys of the Heart and For those who are not familiar with a newsgroup, it is FCC, at Aldersgate Camp, Turner, Oregon an email conversation among all subscribers. Each July 12-14, 2002 message and reply is sent to everyone. Sign up, share NAFA camp out at Barton Park. For more information, see their your thoughts, and see what others are thinking. Go web site at http://www.nafaonline.org or phone 503-243-1356. to www.fcc-oregon.org/board/newsgroup.html

– 4 – Message from the President

Writing this between the two New the power that is FCC, but we are last spring as I began my search Year celebrations our family certainly working on it. for a school for my daughter, who observes seems appropriate, is starting kindergarten in the fall. If there is anything I have been somehow. We have the opportu- As I spoke with what seemed like struggling with during my tenure, it is nity to embrace a larger world hundreds of principals about their how to create a true dialog between than many of us were raised in. approach to diversity, language, members, a forum that allows us to Our children did not choose to be and the family tree assignment, I cocreate the FCC of the future. members of a biracial, adoptive became curious about the experi- None of us has the time, energy or family, but as parents, we did...and ences of other FCC families who desire to attend endless meetings what an incredible thing to cel- have traveled this path before me. (though I am sure many of us feel we ebrate it is. Many of us have this kind of already do!). Thanks to, Debra critical support through other After four months as your FCC McIntyre, our newsletter editor, and means, but the new forum is an president, I am struck by several Day Tooley, our Web master, we have opportunity to tap into our best things: what an incredible resource effective forums to keep us informed. local resource...each other. our families and other national Now our task is to create a dialog chapters are for us, how full and that goes both ways, making the We also have other, less techno- complicated our lives are, and how Board more accountable and in- logical plans for getting to know much we need each other, even as formed as we envision FCC’s future. each other better. Keep your eyes we struggle to define the breadth open in the coming months for If you haven’t checked out the Web and width of that need. Raising new festivals to celebrate at the site lately, do so at www.FCC- children is never an easy thing. Chinese Garden, thanks to the Oregon.org. We’ve established a efforts of Karen Art, and some FCC families are passionate about Board Web page that posts agendas, low-cost outings at local swim- our children and creating a world minutes, and messages so you can ming pools and other child- that embraces them as eagerly as see what we are doing on a regular centered places around town. we do. If there is anything FCC can basis. There’s even a place you can provide to member families, it is click on to give us feedback without Let’s welcome in the Year of the the opportunity to have each other. looking up our phone number or e- Horse with a new commitment to The resources, seemingly bound- mail address. Day also helped set up celebrate our unique community less energy, support, passion and a FCC Oregon/SW Washington and make it the best ever. The vision that result from families newsgroup to help FCC families future will be our present before coming together is an amazing share what we’ve learned about we know it. force. We have not always been as navigating the world of parenting. The effective as we might be in focusing idea for the newsgroup came about Sheri Campbell

– 5 – 2002 Motherland Tours to China Journeys of the Heart Adoption Services is sponsoring Motherland Tours for adopted Chinese children. These tours are now scheduled for the summer of 2002 and involve a wonderful itinerary. All tours include a trip to your child’s orphanage when possible, and a visit to the site where she or he was abandoned. Journeys recommends that children be at least five years of age to go on this trip. The tours will be in June, July, or August depending on the home provinces of the participating children. The cost is approximately $1,500.00 per adult, and $1,200.00 for children under 11 years old for hotel accommodations, travel within China, and some meals, if more than 10 adults are booked on the trip. (Costs increase slightly with less than 10 adults.) Participants also must pay their round-trip airfare from the U.S. to China. The 13-day itinerary will include stops in: ▲Beijing. The Summer Palace, Beijing Zoo, Great Wall, Tian’anmen Square, and Forbidden City. A Hutong Tour will visit a local Beijing neighborhood, meeting local families and visiting a kindergarten. ▲Xi’an. The Terra Cotta Warriors, the Big Goose Pagoda and the Tang Palace Dance Show. ▲Homes Provinces. Each child’s orphanage and the site of their abandonment, whenever possible. ▲Guangzhou. Lodging at the nostalgic White Swan Hotel. A motherland trip will surely bring up many questions, emotions and adoption issues for children. To help families prepare, Journeys is working with nationally-respected adoption specialist, Jane Brown, MSW, to develop a video that each family will receive before the trip. The video contains Jane’s advice for preparing yourself and your child, as well as information on what to expect before, during, and after the trip. There will also be recommended reading material for traveling families. For more details, please contact David Slansky or Susan Tompkins in the Hillsboro office at 503-681-3075, [email protected], or [email protected].

NAFA Camp Out by Sheri Campbell Last year, when we read the notice of the NAFA camp in our FCC Newsletter, we decided to check it out, if only to have a scheduled camping trip on the calendar that we didn’t have to make reservations for ourselves. After the week- end came and went, however, all three of us agreed that it would become one of our family’s standard summer outings and has been on our calendar since there was space to plan 2002. The campout was one of the most child-friendly and delightful weekends we have had together. Well planned, friendly and relaxing, we met families who have been on the road of parenting far longer than we. We were immediately struck with the wonderful diversity of the group; unlike the typical FCC function, where 10 year olds are the elder stateswomen of the crowd, teenagers and young adults were there with a dozen camping trips behind them. It was a true “United Nations” of families where birth children and adopted children were entirely indistinguishable from one another. The United Nations metaphor extended to the attitude of the families themselves, as every campsite was open and safe for children to wander between (the entire campground is reserved, so only NAFA members are present for the weekend). Our daughter reveled in new friends, dirt, campfires, games and the knowledge that, if even for a weekend, the entire world welcomed her with a loving, accepting embrace. We’ll be there again this year, catching up with friends we made last year and probably making some new ones. Think about joining us and over a hundred other people whose lives have been changed through the miracle of adoption.

– 6 – Children’s Book Corner by Karen Art

Some parents requested reviews of books for older children. The Case of the Goblin Pearls, Since many of our children are now reading on their own by Laurence Yep (1997) (often above grade level), I’ve decided to devote this book corner to reviews of books for them. Perhaps the most prolific This is the first of a series of mysteries writer of books with a “Chinese theme,” written for third to set in San Francisco’s Chinatown. As it sixth graders, is Laurence Yep. Among my favorites of the begins, 12 year-old Lily’s glamorous great- dozens of books he has written (including two Newberry aunt (“Tiger Lil”) comes to visit from Honor books), my favorites are reviewed in this column. Hollywood. She talks her family and friends into helping with the Lion Salve float she’s been hired to set up for the Chinese New Year parade. In the process, Lily and her “auntie” help Dragonwings, by Laurence Yep (1975) unravel an insurance scam involving a pearl necklace and This book, and Dragon’s Gate 1994, uncover a sweatshop operation. There is a lot of culturally received Newberry Honors. The book specific material nicely introduced as Lily begins as eight-year-old Moon Shadow Lee discovers her heritage and makes leaves his home in China and sets sail for connections at the same time that readers America to join his father at the family- do. This carefully plotted mystery, sprinkled owned laundry in San Francisco. The boy with well-placed clues, makes the story tells of their problems with prejudice, as hard to put down. well as the kindness of uncles and cousins. After they move out of Chinatown and the protection of their family, Moon Shadow helps his father fulfill a fabulous dream - The next two books is this series, The to build a flying machine. Inspired by a true story of a Chinese Case of the Lion Dance (1998) immigrant, who made a flying machine in 1909, Yep’s historical and The Case of the Firecrack- novel exquisitely portrays the rich traditions of the Chinese ers (1999), are worth reading as well. In community as it confronts a hostile new world. Yep includes the former, Auntie Lil has invited students figures such as Teddy Roosevelt and the Wright Brothers, and from two local martial arts schools to historic events such as the San Francisco Earthquake, but also compete in a Lion Dance contest as part draws heavily on his own background. The result is a sensitive of the festivities for the opening of her novel from a different perspective that conveys the Chinese friend’s new restaurant. In the latter, American’s cultural heritage. when a prop gun loaded with real bullets is fired at a teenage TV heartthrob and Angelfish, by Laurence Yep (2001) Lily’s brother is suspected, Auntie Lil and Lily are swept into the case. Angelfish is the latest (and best) in a series of books about Robin Lee, a Chinese When the Circus Came to Town, American ballet student. (Previous books in this series include Ribbons, 1996, and by Laurence Yep (2001) The Cook’s Family, 1998). As in his other Unlike many of his earlier books, this novels in this series, Yep links a ballet that recent novel by Yep is not set in San Robin’s class is performing to other events Francisco’s Chinatown, but instead in tiny in her life. Robin has just won the role of Whistle, Montana early in the twentieth Beauty in a ballet recital when she century. Ten-year-old Ursula helps her accidentally throws her book bag through the window of a pet- parents run the stagecoach station and is fish store belonging to the beastly Mr. Tsow. Robin works in Mr. carefree until smallpox leaves her face Tsow’s store to pay for the window, even though that means pitted and scarred. Now all she wants to enduring insults from the grouchy old man who call her “half- do is hide. Ah Sam, her parent’s Chinese cook, brings a magical person” because she is only “half-Chinese.” The relationship circus to town and finds a way to coax Ursula out of her self- between Robin and Mr. Tsow parallels the relationship between imposed exile. In return, when a blizzard ruins Ah Sam’s plan’s Beauty and the Beast, as she slowly learns that he is not the to spend Chinese New Year in San Francisco, she rallies the whole monster he pretends to be. With the aid of her Chinese-born town to create an elaborate Chinese New Year celebration. Based grandmother, Robin discovers that Mr. Tsow had been a ballet on actual events that occurred in the early twentieth century star in China until the Cultural Revolution, when his toes were and bolstered by themes of compassion and tolerance, Yep’s book cut off as punishment for his “crimes.” In this novel, Yep offers captures both the overwhelming pain of being different and the interesting insights into the life of a resourceful young Chinese simple comfort in finding the community to which you belong. American as well as some historical facts about the Chinese Cultural Revolution. – 7 – FCC Playgroups

T HE T IGERS

Ages 5 and up Coordinator: Katherine Zieman 503-695-3494 E-mail: [email protected] This group meets Friday mornings at members’ homes, indoor and out door parks and other community locations. Little Sprout Children’s Services T HE RABBITS There is a Chinese belief that a red thread Ages 3-4 connects those people who are meant to be Coordinator: June Berry together. This red thread is unbreakable. Little 503-698-8863 Sprout Children’s Services was recently founded E-mail: on the belief that children adopted from China [email protected] will always have a connection to China. One of Little Sprout’s primary objectives is to help This group meets the second Friday of the month at children adopted from China to view this members’ homes. connection positively. Little Sprout is managed by Jeany Li who has dedicated the past several years of her life to T HE M ONKEYS serving Chinese children. Jeany has worked for two adoption agencies and more recently Age 3 developed a range of post-adoption services for Coordinator: Shellie Smith Chinese adoptees including language classes, 503-259-0467 Chinese cultural activity days, summer camps, E-mail: and other activities. The objective of these post- [email protected] adoption services is to provide Chinese This group meets on Fridays at members’ homes, adoptees an adult Chinese role model, impart kindercorner, outdoor parks and other community locations. knowledge and understanding of Chinese lan- guage and culture, and more importantly, to enable our children to associate positive things with being Chinese. T HE P ANDAS In addition to serving the needs of Chinese Coordinator: Sue Burke adoptees, Little Sprout is developing a program 360-546-2995 to help Chinese orphans with special needs. If you are interested in learning more about Little A Vancouver area playgroup for all ages meets twice Sprout’s programs, please call Jeany Li at 503- monthly and has meetings scheduled through out this 848-8303, Tim Swett at 360-546-0883, or e-mail year. They meet at members’ homes, indoor and outdoor Jeany at [email protected]. parks and other community locations.

– 8 – Family Focus: Books for Adults by Karen Braucher Tobin

Who’s Irish? Stories by Gish Jen. without strong career goals, achieves some status for the New York: Vintage Books, 1999. first time in his life by going to China to teach English, Paper. $12.00. where he is called “foreign expert.” The irony of the In Gish Jen’s collection of short situation is not lost on him. In addition, he meets his stories, Who’s Irish?, we are Chinese cousin who is destitute and malnourished due in transported inside the heads of part to the Cultural Revolution. He realizes how “soft” first generation Chinese Ameri- and American he really is, and the cultural gap between cans, their children, and even a the cousins is as big as the Grand Canyon. white boy who torments a In House, House, Home, a Chinese American woman college Chinese American boy along with student is wooed by her much older white college profes- his buddies. The stories are often sor whom she eagerly marries, partly to escape her rigid- funny and sad simultaneously, and they are also riveting thinking first generation Chinese American parents. The and well written. No one in these stories is perfect or sexual and racial stereotyping involved in their relationship politically correct; they are all filled with weaknesses and is portrayed in all its complexity. No one is shown to be all prejudices, and thus the stories seem incredibly authentic. good or evil, just perhaps naïve and impulsive. There are Gish Jen, a Chinese American woman who has written two many clues that the relationship is in trouble, but no one is novels and numerous award-winning short stories, clearly paying attention. This longer story is especially gripping knows her subject matter; the experience of the “hyphen- because we come to like the people, even the husband who ated American.” She is never preachy but rather conveys all leaves his wife with three children to raise, and even her the subtleties and absurdities in the clash of cultures and mother, who can’t help saying, “I told you so.” generations. These stories feature baby showers complete Trends are changing rapidly on the cultural diversity front. with camcorders, high tech trade shows, and the younger Gish Jen offers these wonderful comic and tragic stories generation, always seeking “to find themselves” while their that sharply portray what’s happening in the “melting pot” parents wonder if they’ll ever get a good job. Jen’s stories of American society. They are not to be missed, especially describe current Chinese American experience so well that by parents raising Chinese American children. they raise our awareness of contemporary American culture in general. They are at times hilarious and haunting. Karen Braucher Tobin is the author of “Sending Messages Over Inconceivable Distances” (pen name: Braucher), which features The title story is told by a Chinese mother who came to her adoption poetry and was a finalist for the 2001 Oregon America as an adult, worked hard with her husband all her Book Award. She is donating all royalties from her book to the life in their Chinese restaurant, and now has a grown Foundation for Chinese Orphanages. Her husband and she daughter who has married an Irish man who has trouble adopted their nine-year-old daughter Betty Li in Changsha, holding a job. Everything from her fractured English to her China in 1992. She lives with her family in Portland, Oregon. racial prejudice to her belief in the need to spank her granddaughter seem authentic and in fact understandable. Her inability to understand her daughter, now thoroughly A New Book on Americanized, is both funny and sad, and her growing friend- ship with her son-in-law’s Irish American mother is touching. Creating a Lifebook Gish Jen does not sugarcoat the relationships inside In our November 2000 issue of Heart to Heart, we Chinese American families. In some of her stories, there is featured an article, “A Lifebook Story” by Cindy Probst, violence, including one where a father pushes a mother Med, MSW, LCSW (adoption specialist and FCC out the window after she’s screamed that he is a “failure.” parent). She has published a new book called Adoption In other stories, children who do not live up to their Lifebook: A Bridge to Your Child’s Beginnings. It is a work- parents’ high educational and career standards are be- book written specifically for international adoptive littled. In Duncan in China, a young Chinese American man parents. To learn more, go to www.lifebooksource.com

– 9 – Upcoming Educational and Cultural Activities by Diane Hoobler Now that Chinese New words and phrases, and memorize children’s poems, Year activities are winding among other activities. The summer session runs from down, you might start thinking July 13th through August 31st. Yufang also will continue about educational or cultural her Saturday afternoon classes at East Vancouver United opportunities this spring and Methodist Church if there is enough interest. Contact summer. The Portland- Yufang at 503-531-0256. Vancouver area is rich with Enroll your child in a summer day camp. possibilities. Here is a list to Since many of these camps are still in the planning stages, help you get started. Some are for the whole family, you can contact the sponsor for more information. others are just for kids, but all promise to be fun. ▲ The Chinese Service Center immersion preschool, Yu ▲ Celebrate the Clear Brightness Festival. The Miao, will sponsor a day camp for 2 1/2 to 5 year olds. Portland Classical Chinese Garden will celebrate The camp runs for two to three weeks from 9:00 a.m. this ancient festival, known in China as Qing Ming, to 1:00 p.m. at St. Mark’s Lutheran Church in southeast on April 6th and 7th. Kite flying is one of the traditional Portland. The exact dates have not yet been determined. activities of Qing Ming, and the Garden will exhibit Native-speaking teachers offer a friendly and fun learning rare Chinese kites from March 25th through April 21st. experience in Mandarin, emphasizing Chinese children’s ▲ Watch demonstrations of traditional Chinese songs, stories, dance, arts and crafts. The Chinese Service arts. The Portland Classical Chinese Garden will Center also sponsored a successful culture day camp have demonstrations of calligraphy, martial arts, and for school age children last year and will consider doing other ancient Chinese art forms every Saturday so again if enough people are interested. For more from 10:30 to 11:30 during the months of March information, contact Christine Lau at 503-872-8822. and April. For details, check their Web site at ▲ The International School will have a summer immersion www.portlandchinesegarden.org or call 503-228-8131. camp for ages 3 through 10. Children ages 3 to 5 have ▲ Honor International Children’s Day. The the option of a half or full day program. Ages 6 to 10 Portland Classical Chinese Garden will celebrate this are offered a full day program. There will be four ses- holiday on June 1st with Tea, Cakes and a Slice of sions of two weeks each beginning in June. In addition History, an event for people of all ages to learn about to Mandarin immersion, the camp will feature arts, crafts, Portland Chinatown’s history and culture. Activities music, drama, explorations in science and math, and include hands-on projects for children, storytelling, swimming. For more information call 503-226-2496 or and a Lion Dance workshop. Cosponsored by FCC see the school’s Web page at www.intlschool.org. and the Northwest China Council. For more infor- ▲ The Jiao Ying Chinese Culture and Art School plans to offer mation, call the Garden or check their Web site. weekend day camps in Chinese language, art, and dancing. ▲ Attend a language and culture class. Many of For more information call Philip Yan at 503-590-5518. the classes listed on the FCC Web site take a summer ▲ Little Sprout Children’s Services, headed by FCC member break, but FCC member Yufang Wang will continue Jeany Li, will be hosting day camps for children. Details her Saturday morning classes at St. Michael’s Episcopal are still being worked out, but last year Jeany’s popular Church in northeast Portland. Yufang offers classes camps ran from 9:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m., three to five days at a variety of levels. The first level teaches language a week at her Beaverton home. Each week had a different through simple vocabulary and conversation, songs, curriculum and featured language, calligraphy, art projects, dances, rhymes and games. The second teaches simple songs, dance and games. Each session will be limited to language skills and introduces Chinese culture, tradition five children. Contact Jeany at 503-848-8303 or and arts. At the third level, children learn commonly [email protected] for more details. used words and sentences, write simple Chinese

– 10 – ▲ The Portland Chinese School will sponsor a five-day cover their hosting camp for children ages 6 and up in late July or early costs. Students bring their August. Cosponsored by the Overseas Chinese Affairs own spending money, have Commission for the Republic of China, it will feature medical insurance, and use teachers from Taiwan. In past years, the teachers provided Tri-met for transportation instruction in sports and games like Chinese yo-yo, and during their stay. If you are jump rope, folk dancing, calligraphy; and crafts such as interested in learning more paper cutting and knot making. Language proficiency is about this opportunity, not required. Parent volunteers are welcome. For please contact Ellen Sanders at International more information, call Li-ling Cheng at 503-296-7720. Summerstays (503-274-1776). Attend a weekend camp with the whole family. ▲ Northwest International Study Exchange, Inc. is looking for host families for middle and high school ▲ Heritage Camp, sponsored by Journeys of the Heart students from Szechuan Province, China, and and FCC, will be held July 5-7 at Aldersgate Camp, Taiwan. NISE operates the United States’ largest Turner, Oregon. For more information or to receive summer exchange program for Chinese students of registration materials, contact the camp director, this age. NISE home-stays are generally three Debra Hall, at [email protected] weeks. Students participate in language classes and ▲ Little Sprout Children’s Services plans to host week- other activities on the weekdays. Host families get end camping events for families this summer. Each camp to know their student in the evenings and on out is limited to eight to 10 families. For details, contact weekends. Contact NISE at 503-222-9803 or at Jeany Li at 503-848-8303 or [email protected]. www.nisenw.org. ▲ The Northwest Adoptive Families Association annual ▲ Forte International Exchange association is looking campout will be July 12th and 13th at Barton’s Park. for host families for students for one academic year. For more information, see their Web site at Parents interested in hosting for 1-2 months can www.NAFAonline.org. NAFA also would like to host a student who needs a temporary placement express their appreciation for all the interest, volunteer before being placed in a permanent home. Another help, and children who attended NAFA’s Culture Camp opportunity for interaction with exchange students from FCC. But due to the time involved, they do not is serving as a local representative. Local represen- have enough volunteers to coordinate a camp this year. tatives serve as the primary contact person for students and their host family. Their frequent Host an exchange student. Learn about Chinese contact with students and families ensures first culture first hand and develop a lasting friendship for your family hand knowledge of how all parties are coping. by opening your home to a Chinese or Taiwanese student. Serving as a local representative is a fun and enrich- ▲ International Summer Stays. Experience Chinese ing cultural experience where there is frequent culture this summer by hosting a student from Main- contact with interesting people. Lifelong friendships land China. Choose the program dates that work best are made as the local representative helps guide the for you: June 30th to July 21st or July 28th to August students through the experience of living in an- 18th. The students (ages 12-17) will visit Portland for a other culture. To learn more about their program three-week home-stay with American families. During call 1-888-866-6869. Visit their Web site at their stay, they are involved each weekday morning www.forteusa.org (go to study abroad section) for English classes at PSU, and afternoon field trips around more information about their hosting program. Portland and Northwest Oregon. They look forward to spending evenings and weekends with their host families. Host families receive a small stipend to help

– 11 – We Are A Committee. on, pulling her suitcase and carrying beautiful, Jeanne XiuMing (adopted With a goal of improved support, more March 2001, Jiangxi). With a “This is how personal contact, expanded discussion Waiting Family it is...get used to it,” she began to unload topics, and more social events, nine News her pack in the middle of the room with people joined waiting families coordina- all her comments of “Take this” and tor, Mina Bacigalupi to form a committee. by Mina Bacigalupi “Don’t forget this.” Everyone will They are Gwynne Jackson, Ted & Peggy remember Cheerios, chocolate chip Cruise, Tom Cronkrite & Laurie Brooks, cookies and lots of underwear. Julie, Tom, Julie Concannon, Larry Hull, Nancy Patrick, Grace, and Jeanne are anxiously O’Hara, and Kim Felder. Each of these waiting a travel date in the next few months to Mongolia parents has unique talents, travel and parenting experi- for new brother, Luke. ences to share with prospective parents. Because of the number of committee members, the volunteers will not Future Plans. have a huge time commitment, participating in only one or Waiting Families meetings are planed for the first Sunday two meetings per year. of every month. The March 3rd meeting will be on What to Meeting News. Look for When Choosing a Daycare Facility and we will welcome home several new babies. In April, we’ll have a The January Waiting Families meeting centered on “Sur- “Dads Only Forum” (and a group for moms, too.) Other viving the Wait.” With longer referral times, new Chinese future meetings will include bonding with your baby, quotas, and even more paperwork, the wait is more health concerns for International adoption, and a spring grueling. Many families are finding as their waiting time social event. expands, their INS papers expire and they have to do them over again. Ellen Goldsmith with daughter, Yu Lian Join Us. Sophia joined the meeting to share her special waiting and Everyone is welcome to come to any Waiting Families travel frustrations as their travel date was planned for just event. Whether you are waiting for your first child, waiting after the September 11th tragedy. Brian and Kim Felder again, waiting to adopt from other Asian countries, or were also there with their new daughter, Grace Mei Lin, recently returned and interested in the meeting topic, you to share all of their travel adventures. Seeing new babies are invited to join us. Bring your spouse, friend or travel makes it all real to those that are waiting, and Grace and partner. FCC membership is not required. For more Sophia are among the cutest. information, see the FCC Web site or contact Mina Our February meeting about “Packing for Your Trip” was Bacigalupi at [email protected] or 503-635-5382. gaily started with Julie Concannon arriving with backpack

– 12 – Mina Bacigalupi attended her first FCC event, a In addition to her FCC volunteer work, Mina was Christmas dinner, in 1995. She and her husband, Jay, selected to travel as a volunteer with Half the Sky were waiting for a referral picture of their daughter. Foundation; a group dedicated to improving orphanage At that time, the waiting life in China. She had the process for Chinese privilege of training 17 adoption was very differ- women in the infant nurtur- ent than it is today. Little ing program to cuddle and was offered in the way of love children in the HeFei preparation. Information Orphanage in AnHui. She about how to care for a tells about how fulfilling it newly adopted child in was get to know these China was less plentiful. women and to see their Today we are able to dedication and love for the coordinate our travel plans children blossom. and have our adoption Getting to Know In addition, Mina has found experience at least some- time to write articles for the what more predictable. Your Volunteers FCC newsletter. Mina has been instrumen- by Sheryl Elliot tal in making this happen. Mina has been married to Jay for ten years. She works as a pediatric nurse 20 - 30 As coordinator of the waiting families group, Mina hours a week. She has two adopted children. Mei Lu arranges meetings and topics relevant for families turns seven next month and was adopted from NanFeng, making preparations for travel or hoping for referral. JaingXi in April of 1996. Chas is almost five years old and The meetings are attended by up to twenty-five was adopted in 1997 here in Portland. Her hobbies families and issues dealt with include becoming a including gardening, when she can find time, and enjoying multiracial family, how to pack for the trip, what dinners with her large, extended family. medical problems might be found and how to deal with them. Lots of emotional support during this She is glad FCC is here to support families. She is sometimes stressful period is offered. The meetings diligent in her desire to provide good resources and last three to four hours. sees a need for a support group for recently returned parents. If interested, please contact the FCC Board Mina is a pediatric nurse who became involved with or Mina. She is listed in the FCC directory. waiting families as a volunteer, offering medical advice. She found she enjoyed meeting people and hearing Mina provides us with a wonderful model for caring, their individual stories, reliving wonderful memories dedication and generous giving to families in the FCC of her own adoption experience as she listened. She community and deserves our heartfelt thanks for all loves to see vulnerable people transition dealing with that she has accomplished for us and for our children. their fear that their adoption hopes will never materi- Many thanks to you, Mina. alize transform into confident, beaming parents This column is designed to highlight some of the interesting returning home with their dreams come true. people who are actively involved in FCC in a variety of ways. Mina has coordinated the waiting families group for 1- If you would like information on volunteer opportunities or 1/2 years. The group has just organized a committee would like to suggest someone for a future Volunteer Profile, of eight, which she is proud of. She is happy to have contact Sheryl Elliot [email protected] or 503-460-2934. the committee and feels that they will now be able to provide more events for the group. She also sponsors an active waiting families’ e-mail list.

– 13 – Chinese New Year Celebration

Thank you so very much to all of the volunteers who made the Year of the Horse New Year Party such a huge success. This year’s committee members are Vicki Paulson, Karen Art, Cathy Rowland, Lori Price, Coni Lloyd, Sheri Campbell, Martha Hicks and Julie Woodruff. These people devoted their energy and many hours of work to organize this event. Thanks also to their husbands and children who gave them support and encouragement. The following people volunteered time before, during or after the party: Linda Sant’Angelo, Sarah Edwards, Terry Crotteau, Lisa Mitchell, Debra Hall, Jan Prewitt & Wendell Kusnerus, Glenn & Donna Robichaud, Amy Bullock, Mary Murray, Holly & Curt Kandra, Marcy Frank, Jim Poplack, Matt & Carol Bonazzola, Candace & Mark Vincent, Kathy Brock & Steve McMaster, Day & Becky Tooley, Walker Family, Liz McKanna, Larry Hull, Rex Armstrong & Leslie Roberts, Ellen & John Ullrick, John & Joanne Rudoff, Jill Lampman, Andrea & Don Feltham, Marianne Itkin, Dory Wilson, Dave Johnsen, Mary Weller , Karen & Michael Hytrek, Michael Han, Diane Hoobler & Jeff Curtis, Betty Brickson, Brent & Sheryl Elliott, Arlene Watkins, Julie Concannon, Dan Mallet & Patricia Mahon, Deborah & Brad Golik, Mina & Jay Bacigalupi, Molly & Don Smoll, Nancy Kirchner, Andreas & Pamela Mueller, Dave & Tammy Pauly, Bob & Cindy Leyendecker, Coleen Wesphal & Mark Engelstad, Roger & Karen Tobin, Brian & Kim Felder, Tomas & Lorison Shuell, Brad & Diane Messinger, Kate Lister & Richard Kennedy, Priscilla Lane & Joji Kappes, Tim & Kathryn Collins, Dee Deacon, John & Barbara Dahne, Jim & Diane Burke, Judy Brooke, Ginger Murar & Tim Kober, Bob Hansen & Debra McIntyre, Rick & Linda Sant’Angelo, Karl & Vicki Weibezahn, Cristi Daggett, Gerald & Barbara Melore, Claudia & Glenn Havener, Kate Mountain & Steven Alstat, Kerry Maddox & Bob Schneider, Larry & Carolyn Mastin, Joan Eismann-Perry, Sarah & Darby Hershey, Anne Storrs, Lynn & Dennis Baker, Rachel Stevens, Susan Johnsen, Patricia Best- Mayko & Mark Mayko, Wendy Votroubek, Pamela Kambur, Tina & Neal McMahon, Wade & Devon McJacobs and Linda Cacka. This party could not be held without the help of all of the above families. Thank you so very much for participating and making this year’s New Year Party an event to remember.

– 14 – 4700 The Year of the Horse - 2002 by Marti Farris Five hundred and fifty FCC members, families, and friends welcomed the Year of the Horse on February 19th at the Holiday Inn Trade Center. The Chinese New Year Celebration provided fun, food, and entertainment for all ages. The fabulous craft tables had activities for kids to make horse banners, zodiac hangers, and colorful pictures of horses. The toddler area provided space for the youngest to run and play. (We saw a few older kids turning cartwheels and trying out dance numbers, too.) Adults enjoyed the books, FCC shirts, book bags, and dolls that were for sale. FCC member Mike Frank took portraits for a nominal fee. Tables provided information on local cultural activities including the Chinese Gardens, language classes in our area, and information about hosting Chinese students. A wonderful Chinese dinner was served family style (no more long lines). After dinner, the raffle of donated items raised over $500.00 for future events, and sent home some lovely gifts with lucky FCC families. The Chinese American Citizens Alliance (www.CACAPortland.com) started the evening’s entertainment with a magnificent traditional Lion Dance and drumming. The US Wushu Center performed a spectacular martial arts demonstration. Adorable children from Yufang Wong’s Chinese Language and Culture class, International School Dancers, Woodstock Immersion School and Jennie Li’s Little Sprouts performed dances, recited poems in both Chinese and English, and sang songs. All the children in the audience were invited on stage for the last New Year’s song.

– 15 – Building Cultural Bridges for Internationally Adopted Children by Patricia Scroggs

Editor’s Note: This is a follow up for the parents who partici- and an appreciation and respect for, the cultures of the pated in Patricia’s study. countries in which their children were born. For those who are interested, I’ve posted a more detailed analysis of this It’s Saturday morning in America. Parents spring to life far survey, along with other information gathered during this earlier than they’d like to spend time with their kids and past year, at www.intladopt.org. chauffeur them to a variety of activities. For some families, this means cartoons, soccer games, or ballet lessons. For a In response to my announcement of the study, I received growing number of parents with internationally-adopted 251 completed surveys from 215 parents with 237 children. children, their Saturday routine may include accompanying The parents lived in 29 states throughout the United States their children to Chinese dance or language classes, learn- and had children from 17 different countries. The highest ing how to weave the hair of their African-born children, representations were parents who had adopted from reading Russian folk tales, attending culture camps, joining China (51%), Russia (16%), Vietnam (6%), Cambodia (6%) outings with other adoptive families, organizing support for and India (3%). The average age of the children was slightly overseas orphanages, welcoming “big brothers” who share under 5 years old. As the families were recruited through their child’s heritage, participating in ethnic festivals, or international adoptive family support groups and listservs, engaging in myriad other activities to help their children they may represent a more motivated group on cultural develop pride in and connections to the cultures of their issues than the average family that adopts internationally. birth countries. Twelve Pieces of Practical Advice This celebration of the multicultural nature of adoptive Having read and talked to many people over the past year, families is a relatively new phenomenon. When interna- the following are what I consider to be the twelve best tional adoption began expanding after World War II, social pieces of advice I received: workers regularly counseled parents to assimilate the 1. Focus on providing children a loving and stable family children into American life. With several decades of experi- environment. Studies and common sense tell us that this ence, the adoption community now offers dramatically is the most important factor in raising happy, healthy, and different advice. Social workers urge parents to help the confident children. When too many activities - including children develop connections to one another and to the cultural activities - crowd out family time, it may be time cultures and people of their birth country in order to to reassess priorities. enhance the children’s self-esteem and identity, to give them resources to counter the effects of racism, and to 2. Expose children, from an early age, to other adoptive provide a sense of roots. They counsel parents not to see families, including, but not limited to, those with children the child as different but to view the family in a new light - from his/her birth culture, so they view their own family as a multicultural family. With characteristic American structure as normal and positive. energy, many parents have heeded the call, eagerly seeking 3. Incorporate children’s birth culture or country in a out new activities, people, and information to incorporate positive way into the everyday life of your family from other cultures into family life. an early age. Talk about it; read books about it; have As the mother to two little girls adopted from China, I had cultural artifacts in your home; comment on news items; heard the advice, but I wasn’t sure how to implement it. participate in events that celebrate that culture. Make it What were the best things to do? How much was enough? a family undertaking; children learn values and priorities Could I go too far? When I was lucky enough to be granted from their parents. a year’s sabbatical from my normal work, I decided to study 4. Reinforce children’s American identity as well and help what other parents, social workers, adult adoptees and them feel knowledgeable about issues and successful at academics had to say about these issues. This article activities valued by their peers. reports on one part of that study, a formal survey of the attitudes and activities of parents towards helping their 5. Seek out cultural activities for children that appeal to internationally adopted children develop connections to, their age and temperament. Keeping children involved is

– 16 – Qingming Festival at the Portland Classical more important than any specific activity. Books, dance, Chinese Garden sports, culture camps, travel, music or one of many other resources or activities may engage different by Karen Art children at different ages. Qingming, the “Clear and Bright” Festival, has been 6. Ensure that children see role models from their culture celebrated in China for thousands of years. Although to underscore that people from that culture make it is a day for paying respects to ancestors and the important contributions to the world. Read books by dead, it is also about life and family. Qingming comes famous authors from your child’s home country; point at the start of spring, when the days are clear and out famous scientists, athletes, and world leaders; find a bright, one possible origin of the name. The festival is pediatrician who shares your child’s ancestry. sometimes known as the Clear Brightness Festival. 7. Convey an appreciation for cultural diversity generally. Most commonly, Qingming is associated with clean- Talk to people who don’t look like you; include them as ing graves and paying respect to the dead. People friends; bring your children to celebrations of others’ visit their ancestors’ graves, remove weeds and ethnic backgrounds; model the values you hope your sweep away leaves. This is why Qingming is also children will adopt. sometimes known as Grave Sweeping Day. People also offer food and goods to their ancestors. The 8. Help children find mentors within their own birth culture food is real, but the “goods” are often made of Joss to introduce them to aspects of the culture that you paper and can take the form of anything from a shirt cannot access easily as an outsider. Try to find persons to and tie to watches and boats. These are transferred whom your child can form long-term, close relationships. to the dead through burning them. Quite often “Bank 9. Ensure that children spend significant time in diverse of Hell” money is also burnt at the same time. (This environments. This could include living in a diverse is the money we often see in Chinese grocery stores community, attending a diverse school, participating in and mistakenly think of putting in the red envelopes). religious or community groups with diverse member- This money distracts the evil spirits who will other- ships, or other regular activities that bring children into wise try to intercept the goods for themselves. contact with people of different backgrounds. While the evil spirits are chasing the Hell money, the valuable goods pass safely to the ancestors. 10. Discuss difficult issues with children involving their birth country, culture, or individual story, in an age-appropri- Qingming, however, is not just a day of remembrance; ate way, from early on. Provide information and context it is also a day to celebrate the coming of spring, for issues but don’t sugarcoat them or explain them away. often by going out for a picnic or flying a kite. In many places, the Qingming Festival is used to hold 11. Expose children, not only to the history of the country kite competitions, with individuals and groups vying in which they were born, but also to the history of to create the most stunning and imaginative kite. immigrants from their country to the United States, to debates around cultural issues affecting their country, Kites will be the focus of the Qingming Festival at and to views on adoption and race in their birth country. the Portland Chinese Garden. From March 25th through April 21st, the Garden will host an exhibit of 12. Recognize that while parents can support and facilitate, kites, including mechanical kites and a rare selection the journey and the decisions about the role of their of traditional, miniature Chinese kites. In conjunction birth culture in their life ultimately rest with the child. with the exhibit, the Garden will celebrate Qingming Author’s Note: The views expressed in this article are those of Jie on Saturday and Sunday, April 6-7, with kite- the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the State making activities for children. At the celebration, Department, U.S. Government or Cox Foundation. guests can learn the meanings of the Qingming Festival in Chinese culture, and how kites play a part in the traditions of the Festival.

– 17 – Traveling Light by Marti Farris

In the month before I left for China to pick up of warning: several parents complained that my daughter Maia, I realized I could afford to some of the shoes purchased in China had a either put in a new lawn or pay the way for a strong chemical smell that never wore off. friend to come with me. Since the China trip would last less than 2 weeks and the lawn Baby Carrier should last 10 years, the choice was easy. Every I loved the Baby Bjorn carrier; I could carry little girl needs a decent lawn to play on. Maia facing forward or back and she could sleep if tired. It distributes the weight across your Every article I read recommended packing light. back and if you buy it with the extra large Traveling without a partner meant I had no choice but to straps, both parents can use it without having to make too pack as little as possible. Following are some suggestions that many adjustments. Some parents liked the baby slings, but worked well for me - and some things that didn’t. Traveling they have a lot more fabric and can be really warm. during the summer meant lightweight clothes that didn’t take Whatever you take, become comfortable using it before up much space. Also, my daughter was 13 months old when I leaving for China. If there is a child about the same age as got her. Your needs may be different depending on the time yours in the neighborhood, you can give the carrier a real of year you travel or the age or your child. tryout. Some carriers are hard to get the child in and out Clothes of. I took the first pack I had for a walk around the neigh- Don’t worry about stylish clothing. Think functional. Believe borhood using it as 12-pack of pop for weight. It was ex- me, no one will care or even notice what you wear. I wore a tremely uncomfortable and I knew I’d never survive in China pair of long pants and took two pairs of shorts plus a skirt for with it. I was glad I found this out before leaving home. I “government” days. Travel Smith makes great clothes that pack almost took a stroller, but was glad I didn’t. It would have small, don’t wrinkle and are easy to rinse out in the sink. Wear been more hassle than it was worth. Many cities have places loose fitting pants with large pockets; it’s amazing how much to buy or rent a stroller. you can fit in a few pockets. I also took tops that resisted A backpack is great for hauling all the paraphernalia. Mine wrinkles and were easy to hand wash or would survive foreign had a hip band that kept the weight off my shoulders. laundries. Cleaning out my underwear drawer provided 12 pairs of “disposable” panties. (Wear once and throw away.) I Money wore one pair of shoes and took a pair of sandals. Be sure to Traveler’s checks can only be cashed at banks. Many hotel wear comfortable shoes. You’ll be on your feet a lot and many lobbies will change U.S. dollars to Yuan. Some of the stores of the sidewalks are rough and uneven. A hat or small umbrella will take small American bills, If I went again, I’d take several is good for rain showers or protection from the sun. $1.00 and $5.00 bills. For your child Food The fewer clothes you take for yourself, the more room The Playtex bottles with the disposable liners worked real you’ll have to pack clothes for your child. Maia was 13 well - one less thing to try and keep clean. Be sure to buy months when I got her. I’d been told to be prepared in case some nipples with the crosscut openings. The babies are she was long. I took size 12 and 18-month clothes. Unfor- used to the milk flowing very quickly and may be come tunately, she was small and still wearing 6-9 month size and frustrated with a regular nipple. Many of the babies are used most of her clothes swam on her. Be safe and bring a range to being fed on a schedule rather than when they are hungry, of sizes. Shirts with snap crotches work better than regular so they’ve lost the association between hunger and eating. All T-shirts for keeping little tummies covered. Leggings work they know is they are miserable and unhappy. If that’s the well for almost any size child. Trying to predict the shoe case, you may have to almost force the baby to take a bottle size of your child is futile; older kids will likely be wearing a at first. This happened to several families in our group and it pair and socks with tread work great for younger children. was quite disconcerting until we figured out what to do. The You can always buy a pair once you have your child. A word babies quickly learned that food is what they wanted.

– 18 – Since some Asian babies are lactose through my backpack strap for extra intolerant, I played it safe by taking soy security. The backpack also carried all the formula. I took five cans and had one left diaper changing and feeding essentials, over when I returned home. Many of the eliminating the need for a diaper bag. larger stores carry formula. The stores Packing also carry disposable diapers, but the sizes I usually spend a half-hour getting ready are in kilograms rather than pounds, for a business trip, so I was surprised making it difficult to choose the right size. I brought about how long it took to pack for China. Pack almost everything 40 diapers with me, divided amongst several zip top bags in zip top bags. This will protect your clothes if something and tucked into corners of the suitcase, backpack and carry leaks and it makes it easy to locate items. If you will be on. Chinese babies tend to have very small bottoms, so if getting in and out of the bags often, get the ones with the you aren’t sure of the size, go for a smaller size. Maia wore slide locks. Buy the heavier bags, its worth the extra cost. the size Twos up to her arm pits. Remove the packaging from anything you can; many infant A thermos is handy for taking hot water along on trips. If medications are two-thirds packaging. To save space, roll you haven’t bought a new thermos in several years, buy one clothes tight, pack in a plastic bag and use a straw to suck of the new lightweight ones. out any air. I even packed socks inside the baby bottles to save space. If you start packing the suitcase early, make a list Food for you so you don’t have to search through everything when you’ve I took bags of unsalted nuts, dried fruit, and a few bagels to forgotten what’s packed. eat on the plane and for snacks. Most American snack food is readily available in China. I purchased cups of soup, which Even though you may be traveling without a companion, along with crackers worked well when I missed a meal. Tea you’ll most likely be part of a group. Hopefully you’ll be as is much more common than coffee, so you might want to fortunate as I was to have group members who will lend take your own coffee. you a hand. Do what you can to not be more of a burden Miscellaneous than necessary. Don’t make the rest of the group wait for The waterless soaps work well for after diaper changes. I you by showing up late for group activities, offer to watch liked the individual packets because I could tuck a few in another’s child, or run to the store for them. Most of all, my pockets. Some people recommend taking rolls of toilet appreciate all the help you receive, and don’t be afraid to paper, but I found packages of travel size tissues worked ask for help if you need it. better. Many public places, including restaurants, don’t In the end I had one rolling suitcase, one small gym bag for carry provide toilet paper, so it’s easier to stuff a tissue packet in on and the backpack. The gym bag rode on top of the suitcase your pocket rather than a roll. and Maia provided counter-balance by riding in the front pack. I took several old cotton lap pads to use for diaper chang- Traveling without a partner made the trip more challenging, ing. These weren’t worth the suitcase space, as they became but it definitely can be done. I know I made the right decision soiled too easily and then had to be thrown away. Buying to travel solo, even though Maia cried the first time she felt disposable changing pads would have been a better idea. the grass of the new lawn. I would travel by myself again, The best find in China was a 18" by 18" quilted vinyl pad. It but I certainly wouldn’t put in a new lawn right before an folded small was easy to clean. I don’t know what its unprecedented 60 days without rain! original purpose was, but I found it in the bathroom section, not with the baby supplies. I found a small wallet on a string worked better than a purse. I could tuck it under my shirt or feed the loop

– 19 – Continued from page 1 The Gift of Language Xiao Pengyou speak English because of the lack of fluent medical care workers. The Chinese Heritage article reported on a family with a sick little girl that had to have her Camp teacher come to the hospital at 1:00 a.m. to help translate. July 5-7, 2002 • Aldersgate Camp On another note, I recently watched a documentary on PBS “Second Turner, Oregon Person Plural” I believe was the title. This story was about a Korean For the third consecutive summer, adoptee, who through unusual circumstances, was able to travel back Debra Hall is coordinating the Xiao to Korea and meet her birthmother. I felt so sorry for this woman, Pengyou Chinese Heritage Camp in who had to communicate with her birthmother through an interpreter. Turner, Oregon, near Salem. This camp, If, by chance, one of our sons or daughters were able one day to meet for five-year-olds (and older children) their birthmother, wouldn’t it be wonderful if they could communicate adopted from China and their families, these personal feelings directly and not through an interpreter? provides a wonderful opportunity for So, when you are considering where to send your child to school, think children to learn about their birth about the opportunity that you have to give them a gift. The gift of a culture, make lasting friends, and simply foreign language will open so many doors for them. You’ll never regret it! have a lot of fun. Camp activities include dance, music, drama, art, story telling, Charlie Dolezal is a FCC board member who has two daughters adopted traditional games and cooking. Nation- from China, Hannah and Sarah, who currently attend The International ally respected adoption specialist, Jane School - Chinese Program. Charlie is also a member of the steering commit- Brown, will return to camp again this tee of the International Middle School Coalition. The Coalition is a group of year to hold her special children’s parents and Portland Public Schools administrators working to establish an adoption workshops. The camp is International Middle School in the district. The first phase of the plan will sponsored by Journeys of the Heart debut in fall of 2002 with two Spanish immersion sixth grade classes at Adoption Services. For more informa- Hosford Middle School. For more information on the benefits of learning a tion or to receive registration materials, second language see the parent brochure: “Why, How, and When should my contact the camp director, Debra Hall, Child learn a Second Language?” at www.eric.ed.gov/resources/parent/ at [email protected] languages.html.

Families With Children From China Oregon and SW Washington PO Box 5642 • Portland OR 97201

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