Moehewa: Death, Lifestyle & Sexuality in the Māori World
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Published by Te Rau Matatini, 2016 Moehewa: Death, lifestyle & sexuality in the Māori world Volume 1 | Issue 2 same sex relationship, or for a gay, lesbian or transsexual family member. In this way, we open Article 1, December 2016 up a space for dialogue about such matters in our Linda Waimarie Nikora intimate and kin communities. University of Waikato Keywords: Māori, takatāpui, gay, lesbian, queer, Ngahuia Te Awekotuku disenfranchised grief, death rituals, bereavement, University of Waikato tangi, indigenous psychologies, end of life planning, exclusion, marginalisation. Abstract Acknowledgements. Funding support for this research was received from Nga Pae o Te Customary death ritual and traditional practice Māramatanga, the Māori Centre of Research have continued for the Māori (indigenous) people Excellence, and the Marsden Fund of the Royal of Aotearoa/New Zealand, despite intensive Society of New Zealand. Ethical approval for this missionary incursion and the colonial process. study was completed by the School of This paper critically considers what occurs when Psychology Ethical Review Committee at the the deceased is different, in a most significant University of Waikato (No. 09:31). We thank the way. What happens when you die – and you are two reviewers of this paper for their extremely Māori and any one, or a combination, of the helpful feedback. We also acknowledge the many following: a queen, takatāpui,1 butch, like that, contributors to the Tangi Research Programme gay, she-male, lesbian, transsexual, a dyke, based at the University of Waikato, New Zealand intersex, tomboy, kamp, drag, homosexual, or and remember the many who have passed over just queer? Who remembers you and how? Same and families and communities who continue to sex relationships today are still discouraged or walk with them in spirit. denied, although traditional chant and Māori visual narratives record such liaisons and erotic experience as joyously normal (Te Awekotuku, Introduction 2005). And yet some people choose to remain in Bereavement events for Māori occur in a larger the closet. In this paper, we present three case context. Māori are the indigenous people of studies, and invite the reader to reflect with us on Aotearoa/New Zealand. Despite intensive mourning rituals or tangi – Māori death rites, in a disruption during the colonial period, our death 1 We use the term takatāpui broadly to refer to people in relationships other than heterosexual (Te Rangikaheke, n.d; Te Awekotuku, 2001). 2 Volume 1 | Issue 2 | Article 1 – Nikora & Te Awekotuku rituals and traditional practice have endured. As a conflict arises requiring attention and tribally organised society (cf. Te Awekotuku, negotiation, and this is usually worked out early 1981), each tribe is comprised of hapū - allied sub- in the mourning period (Nikora, Masters- tribal groups that through genealogy and Awatere, & Te Awekotuku, 2012). The interests customary practices function to draw extensive of the spouse or partner and children are also networks of whānau - extended families, together considered in this process but if you are takatāpui, as a political and caring community. The cultural this fact is often overlooked and mourning rituals heart of hapū is the marae - a community meeting continue in a way dominated by heterosexual place, often with elaborately carved buildings that normative assumptions. The recent passage in symbolise the identity of those whānau that make New Zealand of The Civil Unions Act (2004) and up the hapū. As a functional environment, marae the Marriage Amendment Act (2013) extends the are usually comprised of a wharenui - sleeping same rights and privileges of heterosexual house, and dining room, kitchen, toilet and partnerships to those of takatāpui (New Zealand shower facilities. Most marae can sleep at least Legislation last modified November 29, 2013, 100 people, and during the day serve to receive http://www.legislation.govt.nz/). These Acts many more. Not far from the marae, there is have significant implications for mourning ritual usually an associated urupā – cemetery, where in the Māori world, in particular, the extent to ancestors have been interred. It is to these tribal which broader communities of interest lands and marae that Māori traditionally return to acknowledge the fact of the deceased’s takatāpui conduct their tangi rituals (Nikora, Te lifestyle, communities and significant Awekotuku, & Tamanui, 2013). relationship(s). As we have noted elsewhere (Nikora & Te The authors of this paper were unable to find any Awekotuku, 2013), tangi ritual has retained its significant literature relating to the mourning of significance and structure since the first takatāpui people in the Māori world, or for the European explorers arrived on our shores in mourning of gay people in New Zealand. There 1769. It is the most resilient Māori ritual of all, is some work in the international literature and has adapted, innovated and endured. Death theorising the mourning experiences of rites follow a time-honoured pattern. Although unacknowledged gay partnerships, the most there is some variance, the familiar sequence is: a) significant, in our view, is Kenneth Doka’s 1989 the person dies and kin are advised; b) the ritual book entitled Disenfranchised Grief: Recognising mourning space is made ready; c) the deceased is Hidden Sorrow. Resulting from the sometimes prepared for viewing and lies in state for about hidden or in-the-closet nature of gay relationships is three days with attending kin and spouses the complex of disenfranchised grief, an idea that keeping vigil; d) waves of visiting guests pay their Doka describes as a loss that is not or cannot be respects through tears, oration and song; e) and openly acknowledged, publicly mourned or these encounters repeat until interment. Within socially supported. He argues that if grief is not this sequence are specific roles that are accorded socially sanctioned or even known about, the certain privileges or mourning restrictions and are grieving person receives less support from others occupied by the immediately bereaved, the (Doka, 1989). In our experience, this also applies extended whānau, and members of the broader during the end-of-life period as well as during the community of interest. When such privileges or process of death rituals when the wishes and restrictions are not bestowed or expected sensitivities of a grieving partner may not be seen confusion can arise and offence or exclusion to be as paramount as their heterosexual sometimes inferred, a dynamic currently under counterparts or even acknowledged, or in many exploration by PhD student Kiri Edge (e.g., cases, known of. Edge, Nikora, & Rua, 2011). When a Māori person dies, their remains are Our Study expected to be returned and mourned within the Our overall research programme (Nikora & Te hapū group they were born into (Nikora et al., Awekotuku, 2013) is concerned with all aspects 2013). Given that Māori can claim belonging to of tangi, of our indigenous Māori institution of multiple hapū or sub-tribal groups, sometimes 3 Published by Te Rau Matatini, 2016 mourning. Because ritualised roles are gendered laying out, of deconstructing, analysing and and age defined, this naturally has been a topic of reconstructing in order to make whole again. It is investigation, for example, who carries coffins, the whole that we lay out again in this paper for who digs graves, who cooks, who orates, who the same wānanga process to occur again. In the recites, who weeps and wails, who chants, who case studies below, we ask readers to step into gets attention, and who does not. While we are these descriptions, to make judgements about able to discern some complexity and variation in familiarity, relevance, difference, normality and gender roles between different tribal groups, our death rituals for takatāpui. We invite the reader focus on sexuality helps to both complicate and into a reflective space, a space of contemplation disrupt the apparent natural order of tangi even and dialogue with their own personal and further. In a world where change is the only collective community experiences. We want constant, how and why we change needs to be readers to see themselves, or at least the better understood so that we may be more possibilities of such cases arising in their own conscious and present to the institutions and lives and communities. We ask readers to reject rituals we take part in. those parts that don’t fit, to claim those that do and to act to optimise our death rituals for From a range of qualitative sources like our own productive mourning and healing. participation and observations, media reports and publicly available images, we have compiled We present the case studies below and follow below case studies of those Māori death rituals with a brief discussion of arising patterns and enacted for three takatāpui people. The deceased issues. people were all known personally to us, and either or both of us attended their tangi. The journals of Case Study One - Al Koru the second author, who has diligently kept a Civil servant, musician, weaver personal reflective record over many decades, Al grew up in a remote village, and joined the were particularly useful for this purpose. The army as a teenager in the 1950’s. From the details of the deceased, the settings in which they military, she entered the civil service in Auckland, were mourned and other identifiable information the largest city in New Zealand, and she have either been removed or made anonymous. purchased her own home. She was a handsome, To further remove the presented case studies musical, chunky butch, and an articulate leader from the factual details of a deceased person’s who co-founded an innercity gay women’s social story, we have fused and compressed detail from and sports club. In late middle age, she settled many experiences into one. The case studies down with Pani whom she was with for the years should be read as a compilation of experiences preceding her death.