2672 Hastings & Prince Edward Regiment

Royal Canadian Army Cadets Corps Peterborough

Mess/Mixed Dinner Handbook

This handbook is a compilation of the traditions of the Hastings & Prince Edward Regiment and other army mess dinner traditions not used by the Hasty P’s. http://regimentalrogue.com/

GENERAL

1. Normally, there will be only one Officers' Mess on a base, in which case the Base Commander, or his representative, will occupy the senior position at the mess dinner. In the event that a particular unit holds a mess dinner, the unit Commanding Officer will fill the senior position. Thus, although the term "Base Commander" is used throughout this chapter, it should be interpreted to read "Commanding Officer" when the mess dinner is a unit function. For the purpose of a cadet mess dinner, the term “Officer” means Officers, Civilian Instructors/Volunteers, Cadet NCO’s, and Junior Cadets. 2672 Mixed/Mess dinners will include parents and guests.

PURPOSE

2. Mess dinners originated about 200 years ago, the purpose being the same then as it is now: to afford the opportunity for seniors and juniors to meet on a friendly but formal occasion; and, to enable the officer in command to speak to his officers as a group. The traditional formality of the dinner fosters a fellowship which would be lacking at less formal functions.

3. Some units, bases, ships or the services of other nations have highly individualized customs and traditions quite different from those of your own mess. When entertaining guests, a prior brief explanation of your own idiosyncrasies is a courtesy that is normally greatly appreciated and reduces the potential for embarrassment.

ATTENDANCE

4. Although officers meet in the mess on a footing of social equality, it nevertheless must be understood that a mess dinner is a formal parade. Officers will be excused only by their Commanding Officer or equivalent (PMC) for good or substantial reasons.

DRESS

5. The dress to be worn at dinner will be specified well in advance and indicated on the invitation. Serving officers wear either Mess Kit or CF Mess Dress at dinner, depending on unit tradition. Retired officers may wear either Mess Dress (with permission of the officer commanding a Command) or appropriate civilian formal attire with miniature medals. Cadets will wear C-6, Same as C-1, except that of white collar dress shirt with a black bowtie, replacing the uniform tie. Recruits will wear their designated recruit uniform if not issued one yet.

6. Officers of other services wear the appropriate equivalent of Mess Dress. Civilian guests wear appropriate semi-formal attire while lady guests wear formal evening dress.

BEFORE DINNER (ASSEMBLY)

7. Invitations to dinner will be worded "1700 for 1800" as an example. This period is designed meet and greet allowing hosting officers to peruse the seating plan, seek out and identify their guests, and introduce themselves. Hosts should be there 10 minutes prior to the starting time. The remainder of the time can then be comfortably spent partaking of a beverage with friends before dinner.

8. When the Base Commander and/or the senior guest arrives, all members shall rise as a form of courtesy. If the arrival of the Base Commander and/or senior guest should be unnoticed by some, the PMC or any other senior officer present should attract attention by discreetly calling "Gentlemen".

The dining room is laid out as follows;

9. Behind the head table and centred is the crossed flags of the unit, if possible or standing upright at each end - the Canadian flag and the Corps banner. Between them is the Son Of Little Chief, if possible. The table is shaped as a hollow square with a leg or legs down the center if extra seating is required. The Table Of The Fallen Comrade, ideally, is in front of the head table and centred.

Fifteen minutes before dinner guests will be advised that they have fifteen minutes to finish their drinks, go to the washroom, fix their tie, etc. They then proceed to the dining room door and wait for the head table to be piped in. The guests of the head table head the procession and stand behind their chair. Before each place setting at the Mess table will be a small card displaying the diners name. This is provided as an aide to finding one's seat. Cards are very simple, of white card stock with typewritten names. Place cards have another role. They are often used to pass a note down the table, usually intended for the PMC, though any note passed along the table may be read, minuted, or shanghaied by the intervener. (Notes of importance which must reach the PMC are best sent via the Mess Steward.) In any case, the presumption made on receiving any such note is that it originated with the diner whose place card it originally was. It is for this reason that diners may see others at the dinner immediately pocket their own place cards, a cautionary act often carried out by those who have a history of employing others' cards to send less than complimentary messages.

SEATING PLAN

10. The seating for a mess dinner is formally arranged, and a plan is drawn up and displayed. Individual places at the table are marked with a name card. a. Shifting of places is not permitted b. Guests sit to the right of their hosts. If an officer is hosting two guests he sits between them. If he has more than two guests the host should have his guests disposed on either side of him in two groups. c. Guests should not sit beside each other if it can be avoided.

Once everyone has taken their place the VPMC advises the PMC that everyone is present - “Mr. President, all diners are present”

The PMC now asks for grace to be said “Padre or (Name), would you offer the blessing” A simple blessing is given such as “For what we are about to receive, thank God”, diners will reply “Amen”. Now all diners take their seat.

The PMC now calls for the piper and the Chief Steward brings two poured dinks in a silver cup to the PMC who offers a toast to the piper. No other diner takes part in this ritual and quietly observes.

Dinner is now served. Because the dinner is a formal function, special rules will be observed. These include that no diner may:

MESS DINNER ETIQUETTE

11. Officers shall not smoke from the time of assembly until permission is granted by the PMC following the Loyal Toast. This rule may be occasionally waived as noted in the preceding paragraphs.

12. Every officer must ensure that all guests are being properly hosted. Although guests are normally greeted in the foyer by the Base Commander, CO and PMC, officers must come forward and assist guests in obtaining no expenses of their own.

13. Since a mess dinner is a formal function, protocol dictates that officers’ conduct themselves in a manner befitting the occasion. To ensure that all members are afforded the same opportunity to enjoy the evening in the good company of their fellow officer’s, members are reminded that it is considered poor taste to: a. commence any dish before the PMC, who will likely pause until the head table has been served; b. discuss political or other controversial subjects; c. act in a boisterous manner; d. propose a toast; e. talk after the PMC summons attention until he has finished speaking; and f. leave the table during the meal unless permitted to do so by the PMC.

EATING A MEAL

14. A mess dinner is a formal, multi-course meal. You will be confronted by a formal place setting with your cutlery and several glasses, one of which will already be full of a beverage and another with water. Before proceeding with the actual dinner a couple of general points must be emphasized. Keep your elbows off the table! A mess dinner is not a race; relax and enjoy it. Do not shovel your food into your mouth. Do not gulp your water and beverages. As far as which knife or fork to use - start at the outside and work in.

At the conclusion of the meal, all china, silverware, placemats, flowers, and glasses, with the exception of the port glass, will be removed from the table. If you failed to finish something because you ran out of time, surrender it to the wait staff with grace. The Commanding Officer will have previously selected senior cadets or members of the Regiment/Guests to offer toasts.

2672 staff will serve all cadets their main course meal, symbolic for their dedication and loyalty to their cadets.

Toasts

15. Once the tables are cleared the PMC stands, raps his gavel and requests “Mr. Vice, The Queen of Canada”. The Vice stands and replies, “La Reine du Canada”. All diners stand, leaving their glasses on the table, and God Save The Queen is played. When the music stops, all diners pick up glasses and respond “The Queen”. Commissioned Officers add “God Bless Her”.

Next is the toast to the Colonel In Chief - “To our Colonel In Chief, His Royal Highness, The Earl of Wessex, Prince Edward” Diners stand and reply “To the Colonel In Chief”.

Next, the toast to the Regiment by a Regimental member present. No specific toast is prepared, the member is free to make this toast up. Diners stand and reply “To the Regiment”

Now we have the toast to the White Battalion by a Regimental Association member present. Again, there is no predetermined script for this toast and the member should feel free to say whatever he likes. Diners stand and reply “To the White Battalion”.

16. Next, the Commanding Officer or designate shall rise, explain the table of the Fallen Comrade and offer the toast to the Fallen Comrades. “Let us give thanks for the many blessings we have received. Let us give thanks for the security of Canada and for the freedoms we enjoy and experience every day. However, let us also remember the great price that has been paid for that freedom too many times. We knew them. They lived, they felt, they were as vibrant, as energetic, as immortal as you and I. They were brave. They fell for peace and for freedom in the service of their country. Many may argue about the futility of death and of war, but one should never forget that they died, not in vain, but in honour. Many times down through the years our country has called, and many men and women have answered the call. Let us not forget our fallen comrades, but remember them always, for they have earned our respect and admiration with their lives. We knew them, we'll remember them, and they will not be forgotten. To our fallen comrades”, diners reply “to our fallen comrades”

Service Marches / March Pasts

17. Finally, march pasts are played. It is customary for all diners to be identified by a march pasts. Our unit has identified the need for the following march pasts, however, more shall be added if required. 1. 2. Heart of Oak - reply “Navy”

3. I’m 95 - “The Regiment”

4. The RCAF March Past - “Air Force”

5. La_Feuille_d'Erable “CIC”

6. Celer Paratus Callidus “Army” 7. When the diner hears their march past, they shall stand and remain standing until the completion of the music. Diners stand for past or present service march past, or usually the one identified by the uniform they are wearing. Officers shall not rise for the Regimental march past unless they are a member of the mess. CIC Officers who do not rise for the regimental march past should rise for “La_Feuille_d'Erable”, the march past of the CIC. Cadets proudly wear the red beret and as such shall rise for the Regimental march past.

18. On completion of the march pasts, the Commanding Officer shall introduce the guest speaker and ask him to say a few words. Once this is complete, the CO shall be free to present any other awards, promotions. Table Manners for Formal and Informal Dinners

19. If your idea of cuisine is paper-wrapped food from a drive-through window, perhaps you should not attend a mess dinner. Good food is much better when one has good silver, tableware, crystal, fine beverage and enjoyable company. An oaf who eats with his mouth open, knows little, and cares less about how to handle the instruments before him can ruin this atmosphere. He is not only an embarrassment to his fellow diners; he puts you off your food.

A Mess Dinner is not supposed to take on the appearance of a Meeting Engagement or a knife fight. The food on your plate is already dead; you are not required to kill it. Nor is the consumption of each course a race. The only prize you are likely to get for finishing first is gas.

Still, the matter of eating in public is more important to a diner than many realize. You can very easily embarrass not only yourself but also your fellow diners and particularly the CO. Though perhaps difficult to describe, it is, nevertheless, simple to follow: a. Posture. One should always sit in an erect position; never loll or lounge or prop elbows on the table. When not occupied with knife and fork, the hands should rest in the lap. Elbows are kept close to the side at all times. The body should be approximately six inches from the table; b. Drawing designs on the tablecloth with knife and fork, crumbling of bread, beating a tattoo on the table with the silverware, playing with the beverage glasses, etc., are all in bad taste. Gentle manners and quietness in eating mark a well-bred person; c. Napkin. The table napkin is partly unfolded, not in view of those present but on the lap, and laid flat across the knees. Never tuck it in front of your tunic. After the meal the napkin is not folded, but laid carelessly on the table; d. Silverware. The silverware is laid out in the order in which it is to be used, working from the outside in. The knives to the right of the plate, the forks to the left with the dessert utensils and sometimes the soup spoon placed at the top. e. How to Use the Utensils. While less formality is expected than with your Commanding Officer's or the Distinguished Guests' generations, awareness of proper dining etiquette can help avoid embarrassment not only at mess dinners but also in front of potential future mother- in-laws:

(1) Soup is always taken from the side of the spoon. The motion of the spoon is from front to back of the plate. Never tip the plate to get the last drop, or blow on the soup to cool it;

(2) If consomme or bouillon is served in a double handled cup, a teaspoon or bouillon spoon is used first. After part of the bouillon is consumed it is traditionally permissible to lift the cup to the lips with the right hand;

(3) A knife is held in the right hand, cutting edge down, with the index finger extended along the back of the blade. (Never cut rolls with a knife; break rolls with the fingers);

(4) The fork is held in the left hand, prongs down, to eat the food that the knife cuts. Vegetables may be eaten by holding the fork in the right hand, prongs up, or in the left hand, prongs down. In the latter case, the knife is used to help place food on the fork;

(5) To indicate whether you have finished with a course, place the utensils as shown in the accompanying diagram:

f. Do not ask for seconds; g. It is not polite to ‘trade’ food at a mess dinner; and h. If something is placed in front of you that you do not like, do not refuse it. Leave it there. If you do not like it, do not eat it. It is not necessary to mash it up, nobody really cares whether you eat it or not.

Conversation

20. The well-bred person is careful not to speak with food in his mouth, or gesture with utensils in his hand. The conversation should be tactful, kind, responsive, brief, and cheerful. Unpleasant topics should be avoided; to imitate anyone is ill mannered. Controversial topics such as religion, politics or the opposite sex should be avoided.

Do not ignore guests after dinner. Also, do not take it as your personal crusade to monopolize the conversation. Additional Points

21. A well-bred guest never asks for anything that is not offered, such as butter, vinegar, Ketchup, as this is a reflection on the dinner. Food should not at any time be piled on the fork. Lumps of sugar should not be taken from the bowl with the fingers. If tongs are not provided, a clean spoon should be used.

Tea or coffee cups should not be suspended in the air, but raised to the lips, short sips being taken and the cup replaced on the saucer. A teaspoon is not used to taste the tea or coffee but to stir it only. To crook the little finger when lifting a cup looks affected, and affectation of any kind denotes bad manners.

Traditionally, diners were expected to remain at the table throughout the meal, regardless of duration and the possible effects of consuming beverages with each course. More experienced diners may recall dinners last four hours or more with copious quantities of beverage. Despite the inevitable cautions to remain in place by those who delight in seeing others in discomfort or embarrassing situations, diners who must leave the table for urgent reasons should do so. If time permits, a note passed to the PMC via the Mess Sergeant requesting permission to leave the table should be proffered. In any case, the immature taunts of others for summarily leaving the table remains preferable to the potentially more embarrassing results of ‘toughing it out.’

GO TO THE WASHROOM BEFORE ENTERING THE DINING ROOM