Getting Unstuck: Common Problems in Meetings and Some Solutions

Getting Unstuck: Common Problems in Meetings and Some Solutions Sometimes meetings bog down or don’t go very well. Below are listed some of the most common problems in meetings and some techniques you might use to address them. These solutions may not work in your situation — use your own judgment. Note that many of these solutions suggest appointing a facilitator to clarify, summarize, sort, and focus discussions; a note- taker to record the minutes of the meeting; a vibes-watcher to notice poor meeting process and interrupt it; and a timekeeper to ensure that items are discussed and decided in a timely fashion. Many also suggest having a pre-prepared agenda or estab- lishing one at the outset, reviewing the agenda with everyone at the beginning, and setting aside a time at the end to evaluate the meeting process. Common Problems Examples Possible Solutions Poor Listening Mary: I think the evening program • Leave a silence between speakers so everyone can listen People don’t hear each should have more female speakers. carefully to what was last said and ponder it. other clearly. We could replace Ed with Laura. • Summarize, paraphrase, or clarify the ideas of the last few Judith: I don’t think anyone could speakers. ever replace Ed — he is such a • Point out that people are not hearing each other clearly. dear man and has done so much for us. • Have a check-in time at the beginning of meetings for everyone to say in turn what is on their minds, so they Richard: Well, I agree with Mary won’t be distracted by it later during the meeting. — I don’t like Ed either. • Try setting up some structured exercises to let people practice listening. • Use communication tools (empathy, active listening, I-messages, loving gestures, and so on) to minimize agitation that can hinder hearing. Lack of Focus Elena: I think we should stage a • List all of the things that everyone might discuss or all the People talk about concert to raise money. important questions that must be considered. Sort them different issues or Lucas: Concerts take too long to into reasonable categories and then choose one issue or different aspects of organize. Let’s have a bake sale. aspect to talk about first. an issue. Barbara: My cousin is in a band • Or break down into smaller groups and have each group called The Tweedles that might talk about a specific issue or aspect. play for free. Dorothy: Our church raised a lot of money by doing a car wash. Stephen: If we have a bake sale, I want at least half the items to be free of dairy products. Julia: The Tweedles are great. They could draw a big crowd. Repetition Janet: I don’t like the idea. • Acknowledge what others say by summarizing, para- People repeat them- Hernando: I do. I think it would be phrasing, or clarifying so they won’t feel the need to say selves without seeming fun. it again. to get anywhere. Janet: Well, it might be fun, but I • Determine the areas of agreement and disagreement. still don’t like it. Finalize agreements and then focus on the disagreements. Hernando: I think we should do it. • Point out the repetition and ask the repeaters for new It would be fun. ideas. Ask others for their opinions or ideas. Janet: But I don’t like it… • Suggest another new solution, perhaps even one that is unusual or silly to stimulate fresh thinking. • Brainstorm new ideas or perspectives. • Redirect the discussion to another issue. Getting Unstuck: Common Problems in Meetings and Some Solutions Page 2 Common Problems Examples Possible Solutions Competition for Best Joan: I think my idea is best — it • Try to de-personalize the discussion. Refer to the ideas by Idea doesn’t cost very much. their main aspects, not by who introduced them. People try to show their Inge: Well, I think my idea is even • List the pros and cons of each idea and point out that none idea is best — usually better — it would produce much is perfect and none completely flawed. by belittling others’ higher quality. • Decide together what criteria you will use to evaluate the ideas. Stuart: Well I can see flaws in both ideas and then decide together how well each of the ideas of your ideas. My idea is better meets each requirement. than either of yours. • Try to combine ideas to incorporate their best parts and avoid their pitfalls. • Build up each person’s self-esteem by praising them for their hard work and good ideas. Verbosity Mitch: … I know I’ve said quite a • Break down into very small groups of two or three so Some people talk too lot, but I would just like to add … everyone can talk at length. much or too long. • Gently interrupt windy speakers. If they cannot be interrupted gently, then be more forceful. Point out how long or often they speak and ask them to contain their remarks or speak less often. • Use talking limiters: limit remarks to a set time, restrict the number of times each person can talk (issue a limited number of talking tokens), go around the circle and let each person only talk during their turn, and so on. Passivity or Shyness Brenda: It seems like we agree, but • Outside of the meeting, call up Edgar and the others and Some people say we haven’t heard anything from find out how they feel about the group — why are they nothing and seem you four people — what do you all distant, what would help make them feel connected to the distant and resistant to think? group. be part of the group. (long pause) • Encourage quiet people to make a presentation, tell a Edgar: Nothing much. story, etc. to let others know what is important to them. Set aside enough time and serve as a welcoming and attentive audience for them. • Break into small groups so shy people can feel safer speaking. • Sing together or play games that gently draw in shy people. Rambling Marilyn: Since it might rain or • Encourage people to explore peripheral ideas outside of People explore and snow, we should consider the meeting. debate minor points alternative locations for our event. • Remind people of the goal for the meeting topic and endlessly. Frank: I think it is unlikely to snow encourage everyone to focus on it. at this time of year, but we could • See if people are avoiding the topic and determine why. get some sleet. It would have to be Then address those reasons. much colder to snow. Hal: I disagree with that. I think it could just as easily snow now. Lack of Information Margaret: I think we all agree we • Have one person phone for information while the group The group refuses to or want to buy an answering machine goes on. Return to the issue when the information feels constrained from for the office, but we should check arrives. making a decision until our bank balance first. • Make tentative or conditional decisions. information is received Leslie: Well, I guess we can’t • Discuss various possible scenarios and choose what to do from outside the group. discuss it until our next meeting in each case (make contingent decisions). when Kim is here with the figures. • Take action to make sure the information gets to the next meeting. Getting Unstuck: Common Problems in Meetings and Some Solutions Page 3 Common Problems Examples Possible Solutions Deadlock Tracy: So should we all take the • Use problem solving tools (discover, define, and analyze People disagree and train together or go in our separate the problem, generate alternatives, establish evaluation don’t seem to change cars? criteria, weight the alternatives, examine the conse- their points of view. Sandra: I’d still like to save energy quences, choose a solution). Too much time is spent by taking the train. • Use creativity tools (brainstorming, questioning, on one issue without Cameron: I’d still rather not have rearranging, combining, connecting, fantasizing, acting getting anywhere. to worry about trying to all leave outrageous, and so on). Only one or two alterna- at the same time. • Agree to disagree and move on to something else. tives are considered Arlene: And I still don’t like either • Use counseling tools to ferret out and purge emotional and they are not choice. hangups that prevent open and rational thinking. satisfying. Max: But we’ve been discussing • Make a temporary or partial decision. this for an hour. Let’s choose. • Take a break to just relax and pleasantly chat with each Cindy: But if we come up with a other. Then try again for a limited time. poor decision then I think some • Have everyone try to see the deeper disagreement and try people in this group will leave. to come up with a deeper solution. Doug: Well, I’m really frustrated. If • Review why the group works together. Have each person we don’t decide soon, I’ll drop remember how important the group’s cooperation is to out. her/him. Group Rut Sally: We should allocate $20 for • Point out these problems at the time they arise or during The group seems to the newsletter. the meeting process evaluation time. have the same Mary: Didn’t we just approve that? • Make sure it is very clear when a decision has been discussion over and Charlie: No. I never agreed to reached. Restate the decision and make sure it is recorded over, regardless of the spend $20. in the minutes. current agenda.

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