TUDENT IFE THE SINDEPENDENT NEWSPAPER OF WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY L IN ST. LOUIS SINCE 1878 SPECIAL ISSUE WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2008 WWW.STUDLIFE.COM X2 STUDENT LIFE | NEWS Senior News Editor / Sam Guzik / [email protected] WEDNESDAY | FEBRUARY 13, 2008 Student Life

When did you lose Ahh. Another year, another Sex Issue survey. While the results vary each year, the main purpose of survey remains constant: to discover students’ expectations, experiences and your virginity? opinions on relationships and sex. 1.67% However, there were some notable changes made this year. 2008 marked the fi rst time 14 and under Student Life conducted the survey online, leading to an unprecedented 1550 undergradu- 10.11% ate responses collected. The survey has a theoretical margin of error of two percent. 15-16 We also sorted some of the data based on gender, relationship status and other factors to see if there were any interesting delineations. However, no generalizations were made 40.50% based on sexual orientation because the number of respondents who chose options other 28.40% Still a virgin than heterosexual was too low to supply suffi cient data for an accurate analysis. 17-18 Data complied by David Brody and Shweta Murthi Graphic design by Joe Rigodanzo and Anna Dinndorf

17.45% 19-20 1.80% 21-22 The average WU student has sex ______I do

24% Are you a Virgin? less often than 60% Freshmen 55% 65% Sophmores more often 55% Juniors than Art School 21% Seniors 50% as often sexuality as 45% 40% 88% of Art and Architec- ture students identify as 35% heterosexual, the lowest 30% percentage of any school. 25%

Olin students know how to get down to business Engineers don’t Only 33% are still virgins, the lowest drink and screw percentage for any school, while 18% lost their virginity between ages 15-16. Engineers are the least likely to have alcohol factor into a sexual enounter, Of those who are not virgins, 17% Exhibitionism anyone? with 71% responding that it is either have had more than 10 sexual part- 43% of non-virgins have had sex never a factor or a factor less than ners, the highest percentage for any in a public location. 20% of the time. school.

How often do you have sex? Virgins excluded

Not in a relationship 2.66% In a relationship 7.01% Less than 11.07% Several times a week once a year 12.85% Several times a year Less than once a year 24.53% Several times a month 27.66% Several times 58.61% a month 55.60% Several times a week Several times a year WEDNESDAY | FEBRUARY 13, 2008 Senior News Editor / Sam Guzik / [email protected] STUDENT LIFE | NEWS X3 Sex Survey 2008

100% How often do you 100% How often do you

80% masturbate? 80% watch porn?

Females 60% 60% Females Males Males

40% 40%

20% 20%

I don’t Less than Once or Weekly Several Daily Multiple I do not Less than Once or Weekly Several Daily Multiple masturbate once a twice a times a times watch/ once a twice a times a times month month week daily read porn month month week daily

Have you ever had a Why don’t you watch porn? Threesome? Male Male 23.26% 24.42% 15.12% 32.56% 4.65% 27.44% No 62.31% No, but I would be 10.26% open to the idea Yes Religious reasons Moral reasons Other I do not fi nd it pleasurable I amnot against it, but prefer not to Female 5.64% Yes Female 6.58% 71.60% No 22.76% No, but I would be open 42.60% 4.44% to the idea 14.14% 32.24%

How many sexual partners have you had? 100% Have you ever had 4.11% Virgins excluded a non-heterosexual more 80% experience? than 20 8.33% 11-20 60% Females Males 40% 47.40% 3 or fewer 20%

40.15% Alcohol and Sex No No Yes 3-10 But open to Of those not in relationships, 33% the idea say alchohol is involved in more than 40% of their sexual encounters.

Are you in a committed relationship? BE A 41% Yes What is your sexual STUD orientation? 59% No DRINK A PROTEIN SHAKE 93% Heterosexual GO TO THE GYM 2.9% Bisexual BEEF UP YOUR RESUME BY 2.4% Homosexual This makes sense... WORKING AT STUD LIFE 1.0% Questioning Student Life is looking for account executives. 53% of those not in relationships Interested freshmen, sophomores and juniors can download <1% Other an application at www.studlife.com/adjobs are virgins, compared to only Email application and resume to [email protected] 23% of those in relationships or drop it off at the advertising office. X4 STUDENT LIFE | NEWS Senior News Editor / Sam Guzik / [email protected] WEDNESDAY | FEBRUARY 13, 2008 NNEWSEWS More than study buddies: couples enjoy class time together

BY BEN SALES his girlfriend in class. Al- Crouch said that she also ment.” NEWS EDITOR though there’s little division enjoys studying with her boy- Although Crouch does not Even as they sit in class, between their work and leisure friend. know everyone in the classes passing notes to each other or atmospheres, Monnat says he “It helps to study together she shares with her boyfriend, comparing test scores, the pro- values the time with his sig- and we only have to buy one she fi gures that people have fessor may not even be aware nifi cant other. book for the class,” she said. “It found out about their relation- of their relationship beyond “[Class makes it] easier be- helps to have a second opinion ship. the classroom. cause we can see each other, when we’re studying.” “We’re not all over each No matter what the circum- but [it’s] harder because there’s Monnat said that being in other in class,” she said. “We stance, lovebirds across cam- no boundary,” he said. “We architecture makes it easier come to class together, leave pus are fi nding fulfi llment in were both in studio every day for his girlfriend and him to together and are in group proj- lectures, language classes and for hours. There needed to be concentrate on the work be- ects together, so I’m sure it’s studios. some sort of boundary, but it cause they both know how im- assumed.” “We met in Arabic class,” being a constant thing was a portant it is. Wall’s experience in lan- said junior Thom Wall, who good thing.” “We both understand why guage classes was different has taken multiple semesters Marketing major Ali Crouch, we were in studio and why we regarding his classmates be- with his girlfriend. “She said a junior, has had a different, spend so much time there,” he cause the setting is so relaxed. she was the one that sat next to but still positive experience said. “We have a lot of common “The student/teacher dy- me, and I say I sat next to her with her boyfriend—a fellow things to talk about.” namic isn’t quite the same as [fi rst]. It’s a point of contention marketing student—in busi- Monnat added that being it would be in a lecture,” he between us.” ness school lectures. She said architecture students also said. “Arabic classes are pretty Wall has had classes with that being with him makes it means they have the same small to begin with. The class his girlfriend every day of the easier to pass the time. social group. Because of that, was maybe 12 people tops, so week, which he says he enjoyed “Sometimes we end up writ- classmates are comfortable we were all friends.” because it gave them an oppor- ing stupid notes to each other with their relationship in a But Wall said that even tunity to see each other during and get distracted that way,” classroom setting. though being with his girl- an otherwise busy schedule. said Crouch. “Mainly I don’t “It would be hard if one of friend increased the time it “It gave us an excuse to talk pay attention as much as I us wasn’t in architecture, be- took to study, he is glad to have more,” he said. “It was more would if I didn’t have someone cause you get so focused in had the experience. meaningful than a lecture next to me talking to me. But that group of people and in the “It took a lot longer for ob- class.” if the class is boring, you have projects that you do,” he said. vious reasons,” he said. “There Junior John Monnat, an ar- someone entertaining next to “It would be hard if someone are a lot of things that are more chitecture student, also met you.” wasn’t in the same environ- important than your GPA.”

EVAN WISKUP | STUDENT LIFE It is very easy for studying to get sidetracked when you study with your signifi cant other. One thing leads to another, and all of a sudden, studying just does not seem as important. RAndom sex facts! ✬ The average speed of ejaculation is 28 mph.

There is more protein in the average male ✬ ejaculation than in a medium-sized pork chop.

There are an average of seven calories in a ✬ teaspoon of semen.

About one percent of women can orgasm ✬ solely through breast stimulation. ✬ The Grand Tetons, a Wyoming mountain range, EVAN WISKUP | STUDENT LIFE means “Big Tits.” Freshmen Scott Elman and Natalie Evans took General Chemisty together last semester. Taking a class with a signifi cant other can make studying far more diffi cult. There’s always room for ‘more love’

BY KAT ZHAO of women and gender stud- exploring how humans can It’s not something that’s fre- “It’s really rethinking in- even monogamous couples STAFF REPORTER ies. According to Stiritz, the connect.” quently talked about. Also, timate partner relationships have trouble overcoming. practice is grounded in the Stiritz does not study or there have been some misun- and asking what intimacy “They have developed Imagine this: Melissa and belief that humans are not teach the topic herself, she derstandings,” said Ellman. is,” said Brown. their own techniques, in- John have been in an inti- inherently monogamous and said, primarily because it is Stiritz and Ellman “Polyamory simply chal- sights that would help any- mate relationship for two that the limitation to only not a theme most students are both firm in making lenges the whole concept that body understand how to give years. They are perfectly one relationship is unnatu- are interested in and it is the distinction between one person has to be with up jealousy,” said Stiritz. “If happy. One day, Melissa ral. not a type of relationship cheating and polyamory. one person, that this is the you want to go to somebody meets Michael, and begins to What is natural in poly- that would generally apply to “Most people cheat, but they only kind of intimacy, and who can work through mari- develop a deep attachment amorous relationships, how- adults looking for long-term don’t practice polyamory,” that anything outside of this tal difficulties, go to some- to him. She brings Michael ever, is the establishment of intimacy. said Stiritz. must not be intimacy,” said body who is polyamorous.” home to John. All three sit hierarchy. However, that is not to say “[Polyamory] isn’t just Ellman. However, despite the valu- down to talk and by the end “You begin with a primary that students are not curi- some sexual hookup thing. According to Stiritz, a book able qualities of polyamory, all three are content with the relationship,” said Stiritz. ous. It is meaningful. It just hap- called “Open Marriage,” first Ellman pointed out that the outcomes. “If you meet someone new, Senior Josh Ellman, a pens to be different from published in 1972, promoted practice is still largely unfa- Melissa is now in two re- you would introduce that member of Safe Zones, said what people are used to,” the idea that non-monoga- miliar and unaccepted by a lationships—one with John new person to your primary that the group at Washington said Ellman, “It’s also a com- mous relationships would society that is grounded in a and the other with Michael. relationship, and you would University held a panel on mon misconception that enrich the lives of all those heterosexual normative con- Wrong? Unnatural? Plain all discuss how the primary Tuesday, Feb. 12 that touched polyamorous people are just involved and make them bet- cept. Ellman does not know cheating? Perhaps to some, person would feel about hav- on issues including poly- not interested in being mo- ter partners for each other. anyone at the University who but for those engaged in such ing this person around the amory. The panel was made nogamous; these people are “A lot of people tried it, is engaged in polyamory. relationships, it is simply house.” up of Washington University realizing that just the typi- but there is just not enough “But the people who prac- the most natural and right Stiritz attended a work- students and faculty, as well cal man and woman [rela- social or structural support,” tice polyamory swear by it,” way—that is, to polyamory, shop on polyamory as part as others from the St. Louis tionship] is not working. It’s said Stiritz, “I think we have said Stiritz. “They find that the practice of multiple rela- of a wider sex education con- community. not realistic; it’s not what’s a hard enough time getting it is liberating, that it gives tionships. ference held in St. Louis. As “They [spoke] about their happening in the world.” along with one person.” them a higher level of be- “[Polyamory] is the belief the only non-polyamorous experiences and what poly- For Michael Brown, coor- Stiritz emphasizes the ing. They love their freedom, in having open relationships, person at the workshop, she amory means to them. For dinator for LGBT Student In- great amount of work poly- the passion that they have in but having your partner know learned a great deal from Safe Zones, this is definitely volvement and Leadership, amorous people commit to in their loves, because they al- about these various non-mo- those around her. “These something we want to learn polyamory goes as deep as to order to maintain their rela- ways have a new relationship nogamous relationships,” are very serious people,” she more about and be able to question what a relationship tionships, especially in deal- starting.” said Susan Stiritz, professor said. “They’re innovators in educate other students on. is. ing with jealousy—an issue WEDNESDAY | FEBRUARY 13, 2008 Senior News Editor / Sam Guzik / [email protected] STUDENT LIFE | NEWS X5 International students Alcohol dependence linked to struggle to adapt to higher number of sexual partners campus sexual culture ly 12 partners on average. al population because many “I haven’t seen any stud- BY JOHANN QUA HIANSEN BY JOHN SCOTT the other hand, as the region is Of the participants who people are in a similar situ- ies that actually look at STAFF REPORTER STAFF REPORTER largely Catholic, making out in were identified as alcohol ation. more than six partners, so As international students public is uncommon. “I don’t Individuals who drink dependent, 45 percent had “It’s estimated that one this study is also new in that adjust to the United States, they see everyone grabbing each heavily are at a greater more than 10 sexual part- out of four persons [in the way. We were looking at a are surrounded on all sides by other,” said Wang. risk for sexually transmit- ners; having more than 10 general public] have a sub- higher number of sex part- new things. For many however, Many international students ted diseases since they are partners is considered high- stance dependent person in ners,” said Cavazos-Rehg. the biggest adjustment comes had encountered American cul- more likely to have multiple risk sexual activity. their family,” said Cavazos- Other studies on how alcohol in dealing with the different ture before, especially in the sexual partners, accord- Cavazos-Rehg also said Rehg. “We’re not talking use influences sexual activ- sexual landscape on campus. form of television shows such ing to Psychiatrist Patricia that the study gives a bet- about a small amount of ity are in progress as well, For example, seeing multi- as “One Tree Hill” and movies Cavazos-Rehg, a researcher ter idea of what role alcohol people in the population.” including the age at which ple couples hook up at W.I.L.D such as “Old School.” “The ex- at the Washington Univer- plays in sexual activity and Several studies have al- an individual first engages is a shocking introduction to tent to which it is publicized is sity School of Medicine. its implications for public ready addressed binge in sexual intercourse. the U.S. for many international ridiculous and blatantly offen- She studied 601 unmar- health. drinking and other high- Freshman Ben Ingell was students. sive,” said another freshman ried individuals between the “If a person comes in for risk behaviors, especially in not surprised by the results While international students from Taiwan. “It’s completely ages of 18 and 25 to find a heavy drinking or alcohol de- college-age individuals, but of the study. adjust to living in St. Louis and unethical.” correlation between alcohol pendence problems, [we can] this study differed because “I could [understand] that. studying at Washington Uni- For some students, these use and the number of sex- at that same time test them it addressed those that had I think the drinking on this versity in the fi rst few months, early encounters with U.S. me- ual partners. for STDs [or] provide them been diagnosed with alcohol campus is about average,” they also need to adjust to a dia have either caused outrage “As a person’s dri n k i ng with education about using dependence. said Ingell. culture of dating, hook-ups or helped cushion the shock becomes more problematic, protection,” said Cavazos- The study also attempted The study utilized the Di- and on-campus romance. of seeing someone “sexiled” then the individual could be Rehg. “In this age group, the to report issues that are more agnostic Statistical Manual “I was surprised that many or hearing about a neighbor’s engaging in more problem- spread of STDs has escalated specific than just “heavy to determine which indi- people have had sex here,” hookup experience. atic, risky behavior such as quite a bit recently.” drinking” in self-reported viduals qualified as alcohol said Renault, a student from As American culture having sexual intercourse The study states “preven- surveys, through the use of dependent. Criteria include Taiwan who asked not to be spreads to other countries in with random partners or dif- tion efforts should target clinical diagnoses given by a withdrawal symptoms, inter- identifi ed by his full name. “I the form of language and mul- ferent partners,” she said. “If these high risk individuals trained interviewer. ference with work or school thought students here would timedia, the values of local a person has a problem with because they are at risk for Related studies have been and hazardous behavior. have more self control. In Tai- societies, especially amongst substance use, what other STD transmission and other done in the past, but this Multiple criteria must often wan, sex is like marriage. It’s young people, have been liber- risky behaviors are related serious consequences.” one stands out because of its be met for an individual to very serious.” alized. to that?” The individuals involved focus on clinical diagnoses. be classified as substance Several international stu- “Taiwanese values are The study found that, on in the study all had a rela- The study also differed dependent. The most promi- dents come from cultures changing,” said freshman average, participants had tive with some kind of sub- from previous research be- nent symptoms are heavy where the general public usu- Anny Chung from Taiwan. “My more than nine sexual part- stance dependency but the cause other studies usually and persistent use of alco- ally frowns upon public dis- grandma would be shocked. In ners and those considered study can still be applied to considered lower numbers hol. plays of intimacy and pre-mar- the beginning, I felt uncom- alcohol dependent had near- a wide segment of the gener- of sex partners. ital sex. fortable but now I guess I’m “Korean culture is very used to it.” conservative,” said freshman At the same time, however, Chan Lee, from South Korea. all students interviewed for “A typical Korean would fi nd it this article agreed that the Program provides sex education, with a twist awkward.” movies they saw did not com- The defi nition of a relation- pletely and truthfully refl ect ship and how far one can go American culture in the dating BY ANN JOHNSON ally wondering, rather than Because students have had viewed, though, appreciated with a signifi cant other also arena. STAFF REPORTER being constricted by embar- a vast range of experience with the realistic approach that Sex differs overseas. Some students cited their rassment. sex education in high school, in the Dark took. “I haven’t seen much of dat- ability to legally drink at an Some come for information, In general, the event is tai- students’ reactions can vary “I thought it was good be- ing in the freshman year,” said earlier age as preventing them some come because they are lored to make students feel from “nothing I hadn’t heard cause they understood that freshman Canan from Turkey. from having any regrettable required to and some come comfortable. before” to surprise or shock people are going to have sex, “It’s mostly based on hook- hookups of their own. hoping to win sex toys. “We avoid scare tactics,” over the frankness of the pro- and they weren’t ignoring ups, which is not the case back “It puts us at an advantage,” Whatever the reason, every said Rijos. “We also try to re- gram. that,” said Michael Fazio, a home. It’s less physical in the said William Hsu from Hong year students turn out for Sex mind students that not every- “Sex in the Dark freaked me freshman. “They were very beginning [in Turkey].” Kong. “We know our limits.” in the Dark, a sex education one is having sex. It may seem out. I can’t believe they raffl ed honest and frank and realis- “Here, it’s easier to [distin- Most of the students in- program led by Paola “Poli” that way, because the only off vibrators and anal beads,” tic in their approach, and that guish between a] hookup or to terviewed were ambivalent Rijos, Student Health Service’s things you’ll hear about sex said one freshman, who said was good.” be in a serious relationship”, regarding their classmates Health Educator, for residential are from the people who are she’d never had such explicit Josh Lalo, another fresh- said freshman Ken Sakamoto and peers engaging in public college and dormitory fl oors. having it and being loud about sex education before and pre- man, agreed. from Japan. “Japan is more in- displays of affection. Many of Sex in the Dark takes a ques- it. But there are just as many ferred not to be identifi ed by “It’s good to have a place to between.” them have already gotten used tion-and-answer approach to people who aren’t having sex name. “I didn’t even know talk about [sex], for people to The initial interaction be- to the stories they hear or the sexual education. Students and being quiet.” what they were until Sex in talk about their problems,” he tween males and females is things they witness. are given the chance to write According to data from the the Dark. It made me feel un- said. “I liked how they were so also different overseas from “It struck me how people down or e-mail questions they Student Life sex survey, nearly comfortable—I thought it was open about everything, espe- what students have experi- here are more explicit about have before the program. Dur- 54 percent of freshmen report a little inappropriate.” cially the people who weren’t enced. “In Turkey, guys are sex and relationships,” said ing the program, the lights are being virgins; this is compa- Another student jokingly afraid to answer questions more fl irty,” said Canan. “Girls Chung. “[But] people can do turned off in the room and the rable to data in other surveys complained that the name with stories from their per- have to try a lot more [here].” what they want with their questions are answered. circulated prior to the Sex in “Sex in the Dark” was false ad- sonal experience.” Freshman Tina Wang, who lives.” “We turn off the lights be- the Dark program. vertising. By the end of the fi rst se- is from Taiwan, lived in El Sal- “My view on [hookups] is I cause even though the ques- Many students are surprised Even as it attempts to cater mester, every freshman has vador for several years before don’t want to see it but people tions are anonymous, people when they hear statistics simi- to students with different edu- had the chance to attend Sex coming to St. Louis. “Latin can do it,” said freshman Ian still might blush when they lar to this at their fl oor’s Sex cational and life experiences, in the Dark with their residen- America is a very affectionate Chui, from Hong Kong. hear their question being an- in the Dark program, based on the program attempts to dis- tial college. place,” said Wang. Some have nothing against swered,” said Rijos. data collected from students tinguish itself with a candid Most take advantage of According to Wang, two it. “[Hookups are] part of the In theory, by fostering a on the fl oor. environment and humorous the opportunity, but several people may not have even ex- college life,” said freshman sense of anonymity, students “I’d thought that a lot more tools like a fake vagina dubbed students didn’t attend citing changed names before kissing Levent Dinckal from Turkey. are more likely to ask ques- people were having sex,” said Lola. tests, busy schedules or just each other on the cheeks. On “It’s a good part of life.” tions about what they are re- freshman Andie Sporck. Almost all students inter- lack of interest. The real reason Olympic athletes are fi t

BY JOSHUA GOLDMAN tailored to attract not only have as much energy as pos- SPORTS EDITOR the athletes but also the fans sible when competing. and tourists who will be in While athletes and coaches Every two years, a rare Beijing. may worry about fatigue in phenomenon occurs, affect- The Chinese auction site the legs due to sex, doctors ing companies such as Tro- Taobao is selling condoms claim that no scientific proof jan, Durex and, starting in bearing one of the five Fuwa exists to support this claim, August, the Guilin Latex Fac- Olympic mascots for eight citing that sex only burns tory. With the arrival of the yuan ($1.11), and the auction around 50 calories. Support- Beijing Olympics, the Olym- site Paipai is selling Olympic ing the claim that sex can pic Village will replace col- ring-colored sex beads bear- help athletic performance, lege campuses worldwide as ing the five colors of the Bei- Bob Beamon shattered the the sexual epicenter of the jing games. long jump record by almost world. “The anal beads are spheri- two feet at the 1968 Olympics If this year’s Olympics fol- cal, but multifaceted for your after having sex the previous low the trend seen in Sydney, intense stimulation,” reads night. Salt Lake City and Athens, the ad for the beads upon “There is no proven effect China will experience an ex- their release into the public on athletic performance, ei- ponential increase in sexual market. ther positive or negative, of activity. The fact the Olympic ath- sexual activity prior to an For the Athens games, the letes engage in sexual activ- athletic event,” stated Dr. Olympic committee ordered ity during their entire stay at Alan Glass, director of the 130,000 condoms and 30,000 the Olympics raises the ques- Habif Health and Wellness tubes of lubricant from Du- tion of whether sex negatively Center. rex, the official condom and influences the athletes. Many “There is no evidence lubricant sponsor of the 2004 coaches forbid sexual contact that demonstrated that sex games; each athlete received by their players during any can hurt an athlete’s per- 12 condoms for the two-week- moments of intense compe- formance,” said Paola Rijos, MCT long games. tition, such as the Olympics health educator at the Habif “As the official supplier or the NFL playoffs, and Eva Center. “According to the Na- Let the games begin, on the fi eld and in bed. As the Olympic games draw near, condom companies beef up their of condoms and lubricants, Longoria withheld herself tional Geographic, scientists production in order to outfi t the spirited athletes. we hope the donation will from husband and San Anto- do not believe that sex the help athletes improve their nio Spurs point guard Tony night before a sporting event achievements between the Parker during the 2007 NBA has a tiring effect. They also government has already As in Sydney, owners will a separate program from Stu- sheets,” stated a Durex finals. add that sex does not weaken begun taking precautions be sure to expand their broth- dent Health Services, called mouthpiece to ESPN.com While Parker played great the athletes’ muscles. The against the spread of sexu- els and include handicapped “We’ve Got You Covered.” The staff writer Jeff Merron in an and helped his team win the psychological affects are ally transmitted diseases accessible venues and prosti- goal of the “We’ve Got You August 11, 2004 article. title, many doctors and psy- still unclear. It’s important and has ordered all Beijing tutes from all four corners of Covered” campaign is to pro- At Sydney in 2000, athletes chologists disagree with the to know that scientists stress hotels to supply guests with the globe will convene for the mote safer sex by providing only received about five con- theory that sex hinders ath- athletes should not try any- free condoms beginning this games. students with free, reliable doms to start the games, so letic performance. Emphasiz- thing new the night before a year. While Wash. U. provides a access to both contraception if the 41.67 percent increase ing that sex allows athletes competition.” The games will likely re- sizeable supply of condoms, and sexual health informa- from Sydney to Athens holds to relieve stress and to expel Of course, most of the ceive another key component the horny young adult crowd tion. This is accomplished by true, officials in Beijing will extra energy that would hin- athletes who are expected to the sex trade starting with pales in comparison to the providing participating resi- need to order 178,500 con- der their concentration on to contend for metals do ab- the 2010 Winter Olympics in horny beautiful members of dence halls with “safer sex doms (17 per athlete) and the field or court, some doc- stain during the games, but Vancouver. Prostitutes in the the Olympic Village. packets,” which contain 20 more than 42,000 tubes of tors have even encouraged the majority of Olympic ath- area are attempting to orga- According to Student envelopes with two condoms lubricant. athletes to have sex the night letes, often called Olympic nize co-op brothels for the Health Services, the Univer- and optional sexual health With Guilin Latex Factory, before an event. tourists, come not only to spectators in an effort to tie sity orders 40,000 condoms fact sheets. SHAC refills the China’s largest condom ven- Additionally, ejaculation win but also to meet other sex even closer to the Olym- for distribution, coming out packets once a month. The dor, virtually a lock to spon- actually raises testosterone beautiful, fit individuals and pics and give fans the oppor- to between six and seven per campaign is supported by sor the condoms for the 2008 levels in men, which may cannot help sleeping with tunity to live the games like person. Student Union, Residential Olympics, other companies benefit sprinters, boxers and their compatriots. the majority of the athletes The Student Health Advi- Life and Student Health Ser- have started selling products other sportsmen who must Accordingly, the Chinese whom they are watching. sory Committee (SHAC) has vices. X6 STUDENT LIFE | FORUM Senior Forum Editor / Nathan Everly / [email protected] WEDNESDAY | FEBRUARY 13, 2008

Our daily Forum editors: Monday: Christian Sherden Wednesday: Jillian Strominger Friday: Altin Sila [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] To ensure that we have time to fully evaluate your submissions, guest columns should be e-mailed to the next issue’s editor or forwarded to [email protected] by no later than 5 p.m. two days before publication. Late pieces will be evaluated on a case-by-case basis. FFORUMORUM We welcome your submissions and thank you for your consideration. Safe sex, with or without condoms

o, supposedly all of young what adolescent males his jaw. Balling his fi st, all them so as not to be noticed matter what you are into, it heads, splits become possible the parents hate the have in mind for girls. I am he could do was nod at the and continued serving bacon- can always help to be a little and roller-skating while in sex issue of Student sorry that they think this query to keep himself from wrapped asparagus. more limber. From the mis- the act happens, this is when SLife. This reaction is way, and I would like to allay strangling the nearest 20- And so I get it. I do. She sionary position to suspend- the bedroom really starts to to be expected. I never used all of their fears by saying year-old male. The fi rst guy is your little girl and you do ed congress to the pile driver, get interesting. Think of how to understand the that I only have explained: “Because, when not want anything to happen fl exibility is important. There much fun a contortionist has protection issues good intentions for you send your daughter off to her. But she is not so little is nothing worse than being in the sack and know that, that fathers have all of your daugh- to college, you know some anymore and to deny her any in the middle of the Hun- with a little work, you could with their daugh- ters. ___ing ___hole is going to meaningful sexual relation- garian Bootlegger position, do that, too. ters. I mean, all of I did however come along and just ___ her ship is to deny a natural and spread out and unevenly So please, for everyone’s those fathers were fi nally fi gure out (this was accompanied by a important part of a woman’s distributed as you are, when safety and enjoyment, bend once the boys whom why fathers are so fi st pounding open palm ges- development. Your wives all of a sudden one person over. Oh, and touch your toes they now intimidate protective. I was ture) and there’s nothing you are someone’s daughters pulls his or her sartorius while you are down there. and hurl ludicrous catering a wedding can do about it. But on her too, remember, and for the muscle. I’ve seen it happen a You do not want to get a call threats at, like “If one time when I wedding day, you know some most part, they seem to have thousand times. from an angry father asking my daughter isn’t Christian Sherden heard two middle- ___ing ___hole is going to ___ turned out all right. Probably Stretching can also add why his daughter has a torn back by 8:30, I will aged men talking. her that night, and there’s the biggest issue is that you zest and variety to a dull and abductor as he threatens to strap you to a tree and pour One asked the other a ques- nothing you can do about it.” do not want your girl to get lagging sex life. Stances that beat you to death with the honey down your pants until tion: “What’s the worst day The two just stood there in hurt. Neither do I. may have seemed impossible bloody stump of your ass. fi re ants have come and eaten of a father’s life? Is it the day silence with wrinkled brows, In fact, I don’t want anyone from the pages of “The Per- your penis.” you send your daughter off trying to fi gure out which of to get hurt while experiment- fumed Garden” can go from Christian is a senior in Arts Maybe that’s the point. to college, or is it the day she these two scenarios was the ing sexually, which is why fantasy to reality with just & Sciences and a Forum Editor. Maybe these fathers know gets married?” The other guy most gut-wrenchingly awful. I cannot stress enough the a few basic daily stretches. He can be reached via e-mail from the experience of being just scowled and clenched I carefully walked away from importance of stretching. No When legs can go behind at [email protected].

Critiquing the The Contest: Student Life sex issue Getting Freudian

very year, I have to far more interesting than the I still disagree with it. But, in the world. Love is a ques- e have this thing, autoerotic habits of women. ask myself two basic latest decision made by the assuming we are going to run tion that has to be answered the people I live I can’t say too much about questions about why Washington University admin- a sex issue, why are we run- everyday and over time, but with and myself, that, because I don’t know. EStudent Life chooses istration. But are we selling ning it on Valentine’s Day? primarily everyday. You can’t Wand it’s about not But I am pretty confi dent Valentine’s Day to publish a out in the same way papers did Valentine’s Day is sup- put together a checklist and masturbating. It’s this con- in asserting that no matter sex issue. The fi rst is: when they devoted posed to be about love, and know you’ve found love. You test, consecrated a Saturday whom you are talking to, one Why does Student Life story after story to particularly in college I think fi nd out each morning as you ago at 10 in the of their primary publish a sex issue? covering the more we collapse sex and love far balance your classes, home- evening, where we drives is sexual. The second is, assum- “interesting” Anna too often. Maybe it’s because work, doctors’ appointments, put in fi ve dollars, I hate to get ing publishing a sex Nicole Smith situa- right now we’re at a time in checkbook, hopes, dreams, and the last man Freudian and say issue makes sense, tion? Is it right for our lives where we can’t fully emotional swings and the standing gets the it’s our sole pur- why are we publish- a paper to put out make sense of love. Maybe needs of the people you love. 25 bucks. It’s on pose in life, but ing it on Valentine’s an edition that has we’re at the point where we You answer the question each the honor system, one thing is pretty Day? I believe taking a such little news can make sense of sex though. morning as they do the same. of course. unarguable—that holiday about love and value? Using the You can see the cause and at It’s adding up the way we We couldn’t let the reason we (and collapsing it with sex Jill Strominger same heading and least some of the effects right answer the question of love on in people who had all other animals) is a mistake. But, as a name it uses for its away. Maybe sex is easier, less a daily basis that defi nes our girlfriends. The Dennis Sweeney evolved the way we Forum editor, I have regular editions? complicated. The act of sex relationships with the people assumption is that did is because we an obligation to write There are argu- has obvious stages that can we love. It makes an impossi- they don’t need to are good at having a column for this issue. Still, ments to be made for having be classifi ed in textbooks. ble news story. It doesn’t make do it anyway. sex with each other. as a philosophy student, I have a sex issue. You could argue The act of sex has an obvious for good gossip. It does make a And, would you believe It’s kind of sad because an obligation to question the that putting sex out there is end. The act of hooking up is satisfying life. it, one of my suitemates has most of the time we pretend foundations of my obligations. important for recognizing sex fi nite; we can analyze it. The I propose that on the day already bitten the dust. Less that’s not the case. Freudian Ergo the following absurd sex as a natural part of human ex- questions leftover from the of the year that is supposed to than one full week without— again, I guess, but fl irtation issue column. istence, and that this is an im- notorious “morning after” are be devoted to love, we actually well, you know—and he ca- and dating and all that jazz I have to ask why a news- portant step our society needs rarely questions about sex think about love. About our pitulates. “Yeah, but I already are just a bunch of speed paper staff feels the need to to take. You could argue that itself; they’re the more com- family, our friends and also had gone three days before bumps on the road to sex. use its pages to publish an we’re a college newspaper so plex questions about love and our romantic interests. Let’s that,” he told us while he was Unromantic perhaps, but it issue about sex. We are far we should be allowed to have security. pick another day and possibly still in the contest. Kind of a often is the case. We habitu- from experts on sexuality, issues that are not focused In so many ways, sex is an another venue to analyze sex. premature excuse, it was. ally bide our time and delay we’re a group that students on newsworthy stories. You answer while love is a ques- The point is that it is the inevitable so we don’t are supposed to be trusted to could argue that stories about tion. The act of sex is biology. Jill is a junior in Arts & Sci- physically diffi cult for most feel dirty when the actual report and analyze newswor- sex do contain important The act of love is a bunch of ences and a Forum Editor. She guys to participate in this time comes. My ever-wise thy issues. Sure, sex makes for and relevant news for college questions—it’s philosophy. It’s can be reached via e-mail at kind of challenge. You look roommate says: “Denny, an issue that’s fl ashy, fun and students. not a static comfortable space [email protected]. at a guy, and a lot of times everybody wants sex, so I you say, “There’s no way he don’t understand why I’m not does that. You know. That.” having sex all the time.” I’m Thing is, though, he probably with him. He’s a good-look- does. One fellow in my suite ing fellow. who I could have sworn never Sure, social constructs Sex, music and masturbates, and never even and everything. But the truth needs to, was complaining is like the “Everybody poops” after the fi rst day of competi- paradigm, except it speaks tion. “Good sir,” I told him, to, instead of a relatively our evolving toleration “I didn’t even think you ever involuntary natural urge, did anyway.” a main motivation behind was browsing through I began to realize how sex has the Monterey Pop Festival when the Federal Communications We have these conceptions most people’s actions. Every- YouTube videos the other always been a controversial he essentially made love to his Commission has ever given about people, and we carry body, then, is an extremely day when I came across an component of popular music. guitar on stage (before setting out, and Madonna and Britney them through the majority of sexual being. It’s a crucial Iepisode of “Crossfi re” from I also began to realize how far it on fi re). Shortly thereafter, his Spears’ onstage kiss caused an our life, and they are gener- part of understanding 1985 in which the we’ve come as a society onstage performance frightened uproar. ally applicable in whatever people. brilliant Frank Zappa in terms of what we many preteens when his band Yet we still tolerate quite a way we need them to be. That Our idea as a suite was was the guest. He had tolerate, despite the con- opened for the Monkees on tour. lot. Lil’ Jon is free to yell “skeet guy is really good-looking, to start some kind of Adult- come onto the show troversies. In 1968, John Lennon and skeet skeet” on the radio, and that guy is a total cheese- friendfi nder.com at Wash. U. after testifying before In 1956, Elvis Presley Yoko Ono released an album Soulja Boy can talk about super- ball, that guy can bench This might be a little much. Congress about the was the most obscene called “Two Virgins” in which soaking hos. I wonder what that press 225 pounds. That girl But the least we can do is possibility of govern- performer popular the two posed nude on the Jacksonville judge might have is beautiful, that girl has a remember that everyone is ment censorship of music had ever seen, cover. Many copies were confi s- to say about that. bizarre sense of humor, that driven by sexuality. It might popular music. Tipper because he shook his cated by state governments and So, where does all this leave girl is just one of the guys. be nice if we could all put Gore and many other Altin Sila hips and made girls go most stores sold the album in us? Over time we’ve grown to We assume that our concep- aside just a little of the “No, I politicians’ wives crazy. He was so ob- brown paper bags. tolerate more and more explicit tions of people are somewhat don’t do that!” pretense. had become very upset over scene that Ed Sullivan refused After Congress intervened in sexual content in music. Where absolute and that today and I think we can safely say, the sexual lyrics of some of the to show his hip-shaking on the 1980s, the familiar “Pa- does sex in music have to go? tomorrow they will be true. with my roommate, that ev- popular music at the time and television in 1956 and forced rental Advisory” label became What more is there to do? I’m But, I say, human sexuality is erybody wants sex, in some Zappa, along with many other his cameramen to only shoot required on albums containing not sure what will be tolerated the great leveler. form or another. So, really, musicians, appeared in front Elvis from the waist up. That content deemed indecent by the in 20 years, but I sure can’t wait It’s pretty weird to use our why aren’t we all doing it all of Congress to defend music same year, a judge in Jackson- Recording Industry Association to fi nd out. (not) masturbating contest as the time? and stand against government ville threatened to have Elvis of America. an example, but it’s currently censorship. arrested if he shook his hips And who can forget the Altin is a senior in Arts & Sci- what we’ve got on our hands. Dennis is a sophomore in As I watched the older con- onstage. events of this decade? Janet ences and Forum editor. He can I am sorry to say that it does Arts & Sciences and a Forum servatives hurl insults at Zappa In 1967, Jimi Hendrix Jackson’s “wardrobe malfunc- be reached via e-mail at forum@ not include any observa- editor. He can be reached via for supporting such “garbage,” shocked many of the hippies at tion” resulted in the largest fi ne studlife.com. tion whatsoever about the e-mail at [email protected].

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Because Google and other search engines cache our All submissions must include the writer’s name, class, address and phone Managing Editors: Shweta Murthi, Senior Cadenza Editor: Brian Stitt Web site on a regular basis. Our thought is this: once an article has been number for verifi cation. Student Life reserves the right to edit all letters for Mallory Wilder Senior Forum Editor: Nathan Everly published online, it’s too late to take back. It is irrevocably part of the public style, length, libel considerations and grammar. Letters should be no longer Senior News Editor: Sam Guzik Forum Editors: Altin Sila, Jill sphere. As such, removing an article from our site would serve no purpose. Senior Photo Editor: David Hartstein Strominger, Dennis Sweeney, Chris- than 350 words in length. Readers may also submit longer articles of up to 750 tian Sherden words as guest columns. Student Life reserves the right to print any submission as a letter or guest column. WEDNESDAY | FEBRUARY 13, 2008 Senior Scene Editor / Meghan Luecke / [email protected] STUDENT LIFE | SCENE X7 SSCENECENE Phone sex: A how-to guide for longing lovers Will you marry me? BY ERIC ROSENBAUM “There are always tons of Near the end of class, the BY SHAYNA MAKARON AND TALI PANKEN not even including those of and imagining that you’re nib- STAFF WRITER tears,” he said. “Tons of tears.” teacher stopped the actual SCENE REPORTERS you who think you’re too cool bling on my _____.” He has such a reputation in speakers, who were in fact to put up your relationship Think of it as a fun little The coat just sat there. Her the marriage department that record producers, to introduce She lay on the bed, spread status. Undoubtedly, many of game of Mad Libs, except it’s boyfriend was in the gas sta- sometimes he gets unexpected another guest speaker. Before eagle, one arm sultrily placed these are long-distance rela- the special edition kind that tion. To keep from peeking in requests. Markfeld walked out, Benham- above her head, revealing ev- tionships, and it can get lonely gets you off. If you’re at a his pocket, Missouri State Uni- Four years ago, a Jewish ou thought, “Oh my God, it’s ery curve of her nearly naked when your signifi cant other is loss for words, a moan, sigh versity junior Kenvie Fischer student called him. He had actually Nelly!” She couldn’t body. The other hand slowly 500 miles away (or sometimes or gasp will usually do the had to play with a baseball she met his girlfriend at Washing- have guessed what would actu- traced the line of her lace even when they live on the trick. Be aware of just how found on the ground. ton University and had heard ally happen. panties as she struggled to other side of campus). We’re enthusiastic you’re getting, She had no idea where they about Father Braun. In the end, there is not keep her heart from pounding not here to judge; we’re here though—you wouldn’t want were going, but she had an idea “I’d like to propose to her at much I can say about how to out of her chest. Her mouth to help. your neighbors to call EST. Feel of what might happen there. the top of Brookings Tower,” propose. It’s done in almost went dry as he said these Like most sexual activities, free to switch up the tense of She and Ben Hurst had been said Allen Mattison. “I heard any way you can imagine, any words: I want to explore you, the fi rst time will probably be your conversation, too. Many dating on and off since he was that if anybody could do this, place, any time. There is not a let my hands cover every inch uncomfortable. So take a deep people like to use the present in eighth grade and she was in it was you.” lot in common from proposal of your body, although they breath, relax your muscles, tense, but we’re personally seventh. Braun did in fact help Mat- to proposal. might linger on some parts and lower your voice by at fans of the conditional. “We started dating [again] at tison, pull it off. Braun set up But I can say one thing, longer than others… least half an octave before that If this is just too much the end of April,” said Hurst. a table with wine at the center based on the advice of Father “Hold on, my mom’s on call fi rst, “Hey baby, what are you for you, you might consider “Three weeks later, I went ring of the roof and left the door Braun: bring some tissues. waiting,” she responded, in the wearing?” starting out with IMs or text shopping.” unlocked; that way the groom- husky tone she had grown so Hopefully that fi rst phrase messages. There’s more time He knew how he would do to-be could pretend that he used to. will release a storm of passion for planning and revising it. He would pretend to tie a found it unlocked while he and Father Gary Braun’s Ahh, the infamous sexy and your pornographic alter what you’re going to say, and bow on her dress to get on one his girlfriend were exploring “Top Ten Most phone conversation. Perhaps ego will kick in. However, it it is less aggressive, as well. Be knee. He would give her fl ow- the building. Romantic (and Free!) it was as uncomfortable for is likely that your cheeks will poetic, in that Walt Whitman ers with a card that read, “Say At a certain point, the new Places to Propose in you to read as it was for us to fl ush and you will release little kind of way. yes.” fi ancés both looked over the St. Louis” write. Or perhaps you’re rather more than a nervous giggle. On the other hand, maybe But while the question edge, and Braun was waiting intrigued and turned on. Our Don’t back down in the early phone sex is just not enough. of “whether” was easy, the to take their picture from the 1) The bluffs over the Missouri purpose is to assure you that stages of phone foreplay. It Our suggestion is to upgrade question of “where” was more bottom. River, off the Lewis and Clark both mentalities are complete- may help to use some of these to using props during the act diffi cult. He fi nally found a But while men seem to be trail ly normal, but the latter can default lines to get going and or perhaps video chat. If that company called the Fremont primarily concerned with the really spice up your life, if you minimize the initial discom- doesn’t do it for you, seek Dinner Train. The owners beauty or signifi cance of the 2) The far end of Forest Park, know what we’re saying. fort: professional help. renovated four 1940s train place, women are more con- under a weeping willow Why phone sex, you ask? “I love it when you put your Last but not least, just be- cars into moving restaurants cerned with timing. Well, according to Facebook, _____ all over my _____.” cause it isn’t actual intercourse which circle around 18 miles “I know 20 to 30 couples 3) The top of the smaller 20 percent of people in the “The taste of your _____ doesn’t mean you don’t have to of scenic landscape in Fre- where the woman proposed sledding hill in Forest Park, over Wash. U. network are listed as makes me want to ______.” use protection. Make sure you mont, Neb. fi rst,” said Braun, “and almost the waterfall “in a relationship,” and that’s “I’m taking off my ______lock your door. Location is often the most always it was a perfect moment important factor for men who rather than a perfect place.” 4) Anywhere in Laumeier are proposing, according to Fa- There is also a third option. Sculpture Park ther Gary Braun of the Catholic Some couples go for the event, Student Center. the spectacle. Braun remem- 5) The backyard hammock of the “Most of the time they pick bers one Washington Univer- Catholic Student Center a place with a common signifi - sity couple, for instance, who cance,” said Braun. shimmied up the drainpipe 6) Danforth Plaza in front of For instance, about eight of the Athletic Complex and Brookings times in the past 16 years, stu- proposed at the top. dents who met in the Catholic A New York medical student 7) The Southeast corner of the Student Center also became Yaron Markfeld also chose an lake at Art Hill engaged there. One man met unusual proposal. his wife at his adult baptism; His fi ancée, law school 8) Anywhere in Queeny Park she was the liturgical dancer student Natalie Benhamou, for the ceremony. He proposed remembers not wanting to go 9) Cathedral Basilica two months ago. to her Entertainment Law class Not surprisingly, Father on the day of a guest speaker. 10) Toss up: either the Chain Braun has never proposed him- Her teachers were the lawyers of Rocks Bridge or the Art self. But he does assist with who represent the rapper Nelly, Museum. The problem with the many proposals every year. and a friend convinced her Art Museum is that you have to He sees enough proposals to to attend by saying that Nelly whisper. recognize the patterns. himself might show up. JENNY SHAO | STUDENT LIFE Can you hear me now?....Oh, YES! The gay bar survival guide

BY SCOTT FABRICANT You fi rst have to know your a group and then branching dancing (as one tends to be Rubenstein. “This New Year’s, same sex tries to hit on you, SCENE REPORTER venue. You should decide be- out. in these places), you might I was at a gay bar in Chi- tell them outright that you forehand if you want a bar or “If you’re dancing with a be tempted to go all out right cago…and suddenly I notice are straight,” advised Green- St Louis has a pretty ac- a club, though it’s not always group of people you know, then and there. But please, this guy staring at me. You wald. “[My gay friend I came tive bar and club scene, with that simple. Establishments and there’s someone relatively have some discretion with could tell he was really inter- with] assured me that no one places you can go to drink, blur the lines and can change close, you can pull them into the PDA. You don’t want to be ested in me and wanted me.” would be offended and that dance to any type of music their atmosphere on different your group and slowly break ‘that guy’, as an anonymous Rubenstein said he zoomed in most likely they would be and maybe meet someone nights of the week, and people away. Its up to your friends to junior advised. Have some and she started dancing with happy for not wasting their new. In that respect, gay bars may disagree on how to cat- know ‘hey, they wanna dance self-pride. him (for lack of any space to time.” are no different. St Louis is egorize a particular place. alone,’” said Mullen. Oh, and for god’s sake, do otherwise). “He started However, (and I’m looking home to 15-20 (depending on Also, different bars and On the other hand, some- leave the bartenders alone! getting touchy, and felt down at you here, sketchy males), who you ask) gay, lesbian or clubs cater to different types. one who you just don’t want “I never accept an invita- my chest a bit. Then he stops don’t assume that going to a queer-friendly bars and clubs. For example, the bar JJ’s ap- might want to dance with you. tion to go out with someone right over my tits and asks, gay bar means you’re a shoe- But wait. Are gay and peals to bikers and leather There’s a way to escape with while I’m on the job. I’ve had ‘Uhh, are you a girl?’ and I’m in for any straight people in lesbian bars a different breed types, and walking in un- your dignity and theirs mostly playful fl irtation, but I’ve like ‘Yeah.’ That’s not the fi rst the crowd. You’re probably than the rest? What defi nes knowingly has caught more intact. never given anyone my num- time that’s happened, either,” going home alone. gay club etiquette? To spare than a few off guard. “If I don’t want them, I’ll ber,” said Mullen. said Rubinstein. “I don’t think “Straight girls don’t typi- our loyal readers from poten- “First time I walked into say ‘I’m going to go fi nd my a woman would’ve pursued cally go to gay bars when they tial faux pas, I present to you JJ’s was a weekday night. It’s friends,’” said Perry. “I don’t me so vigorously.” want to hook up,” said Mul- Student Life’s investigation very small and very dark, give any indication I’m coming I promise I did not len. “My girlfriends do not of the gay scene, packed with and it was terrifying. But back…Never just say ‘I’m get- want to go to gay bars when nuggets of wisdom for the gay they’re my peeps now and I ting a drink,’ because they’ll forget lesbians: If you’re lazy and they want to fi nd someone, and straight alike. love them. I love hairy, beary say, ‘Cool, I’ll come too.’” but they’ll go to gay bars with leather guys,” said Rapp. Another suggestion came So far you’ve had plenty of straight, skip to this me when they have a boy- You might be wondering from junior Daniel Barks. good advice, but mostly from friend, you betcha.” The basics: what you should do if you “Getting rid of unwanted gay men. Can it be applied part: venture out to one of these creepy guy can be tricky. I’d across the board? The situa- The fi rst thing you should venues alone. The answer is: probably just play the impor- tion may be somewhat differ- Don’t let me give you The short version: know is that fi rst impressions Don’t sweat it. tant incoming call game. You ent for lesbians, according to the wrong impression. Just matter. How you present your- “At some point, you might know, ‘Sorry, I should take senior Betsy Rubinstein. because a place is ‘gay’ or ‘les- So it seems gay bars really self and how you react can set have to go alone, but no one is this. Later!’ You could also be “The primarily women- bian’ doesn’t mean straight aren’t that much different the tone for the whole eve- going to stare down at you or straightforward, but I’d avoid oriented [bars] tend to be less people aren’t welcome—far than straight bars. Depend- ning. To explain, I’ve enlisted think bad of you because of relying on that,” said Barks. intense,” said Rubenstein. from it. Freshman Michael ing on where you go, you can the help of three experts: that,” said Perry. “Unwanted creepy guy is prob- “Clubs that are more lesbian Greenwald decided to take his fi nd quiet, classy, clubby or Shane Mullen, a 24-year-old “It’s easy to make friends ably hip enough to know when tend to be more low key or chances on an 18+ gay club downright skanky. Gay or bartender, Mitch Perry, 24, at a gay bar; people are just he’s not wanted without hav- neighborhood type bars, on a visit to Washington D.C. straight, you can probably and their heterosexual friend so friendly,” added Mullen. ing to deal with the psycho- while guys’ [places] tend to and was pleasantly surprised. fi nd an atmosphere that suits Lauren Rapp, 31. “If you are a friendly person logical trauma of being shot be more clubs, louder music, “A gay club is infi nitely you and lets you have fun. So “You have to make yourself yourself, you’ll make friends down directly.” more dancing, more lights more fun than a straight don’t be afraid to try some- comfortable,” said Mullen. there.” Barks had a few other tips everywhere. It feels different.” club,” said Greenwald. “I thing new. “Everyone literally has one for gay bar conduct to keep Rubenstein described lesbian have taken the buses from But for many gays and eye on the door, and if you you from giving the wrong places as more “homey” and the business school to the lesbians, bars and clubs are walk in not confi dent, people How to make message. “earthy.” straight clubs in St. Louis and something more. It’s a place are going to see that immedi- “You should always be “In men’s clubs, things none of them compared to to meet people, to make ately. Your fi rst two seconds friends and/or aware that any eye contact, tend to be a lot more stereo- the gay club in D.C. The music friends, to fi nd support and in a bar [should be] you, your especially sustained for more typically ‘gayer,’” she added. was better, the lighting was maybe fi nd love. Simply put, head up, smiling, laughing, benefi ts: than just a split second, can “It’s diffi cult to articulate.” amazing, and the atmosphere it’s a bedrock of the commu- looking confi dent,” added and probably will be under- Bars and clubs may be was just crazy,” said Green- nity. Perry. “You just need to have I wish I had an easy answer stood as a come on,” said lesbian-centered, gay-male- wald. “I mostly danced with “At a gay bar, there is this confi dence when you walk for you, but did you really Barks. “If it was an accident, centered or mixed. And even the people in my group of comfort, this feeling of be- into any bar, gay or straight.” expect one? Though, maybe you should try to be under- though a club caters mainly friends, so at times, I forgot I ing comfortable in your own Pragmatically, Rapp these quotes will help. standing if that creepy guy to one type, there’s no rule was even in a gay club.” skin, because one, people chimed in, “Or [be] on your “I love it when a guy will across the room heads your against going in there anyway. Worried about being tend to drink which removes phone, even if you’re not talk- come up and dance with me. I way. He thought he had a Just be prepared for a poten- picked up by another guy/girl some inhibitions, but also, ing to someone, because they love it when they’ve got balls. shot.” tial mix-up. at a gay club? Well, grow up, you know you’re in a safe think you have a friend in That’s what I look for,” said If you do fi nd yourself “Gay bars can be funny sissy. space where you can be gay or here you’re meeting.” Perry. meeting someone you like, for me, because I’m pretty “Basically, if you are queer and no one is going to But allow me to backtrack. Mullen suggests starting in especially if you’re drunk and androgynous-looking,” said straight and someone of the judge you,” said Rubinstein. X8 STUDENT LIFE | SCENE Senior Scene Editor / Meghan Luecke / [email protected] WEDNESDAY | FEBRUARY 13, 2008 Playing with your food

The greatest thing about intergrat- ing foods like whipped cream and chocolate sauce into your intimate life: getting to eat it afterwards. Yum. When using whipped cream to adorn the stomach, make sure you take it out of the fridge fi rst so its not too cold. While we choose to use it as an advertisement, you should use it to your advantage—lick it off seductively, or even hum and kiss it off, creating warm vibrations on your partner’s tummy.

Chocolate sauce, a more processed form of the well-known aphrodisiac, can be used to enhance your sex life, or even move you toward, as Marvin Gaye put it, a “sexual healing.”

Watch out! While whipped cream is fun, it can get messy. Make sure, if you choose to dive inside the world of food+fun, that you prepare for its consequences. all photos by Lucy Moore Instead of the typical candy heart, try writing your love notes in the form of frozen corn. Actually, don’t. But do be creative with food; it can be a fun way to turn on your partner. Freakynomics: An economic One-night stands: a few rules BY NICOLLE NEULIST you’re having heterosexual sex. SCENE COLUMNIST There is always some risk of an analysis of a gentlemen’s club STD no matter what you are do- ne-night stands can ing—oral, vaginal, anal or even BY MARK LAYBLESIE “As independent contrac- men have at a strip club, so industry resistance (this also be some of the most playing with someone else’s SCENE REPORTER tors we’re required to fi ll out they might settle for a less indicates that strip club tax interesting and freeing sex toys. But, you need to do 1099-MISCs,” she said. “The attractive stripper if they rates are currently on the Osexual experiences of whatever you can to minimize Richard Feynman, Pacman paperwork’s a breeze and don’t know a more attractive upward-sloping side of the all. You can be more forthright the risks. Always use a condom Jones and Dennis Rodman— we can deduct any work-re- one is just a few songs away. Laffer curve). The customer’s and demanding about your to cover penises or sex toys, and all great men, all leaders in lated expenses, like tear- 2) The over-enthusiastic relative purchasing power desires. As long as you know use a dental dam for oral sex on their respective fi elds. All away pants and 8-inch glass stripper paradox. We’ve all also has little effect on strip you can enjoy physical pleasure a female. These safer sex prac- frequent strip club patrons. heels.” seen them—dedicated strip- club attendance—the wealthy without a long-term commit- tices are always good to keep Coincidence? I think not. Because the clubs pro- pers who literally work their visit just as often as the ment to somebody, there ought in mind, but they are especially Strip clubs are, as defi ned vide the stage area and pants off for any dollar they poor. However, price dis- to be no shame in enjoying one- desirable for one-night stands to by noted social commentator any private rooms utilized, can get. What’s driving these crimination (usually having night stands with like-minded avoid lingering effects. Chris Rock, “a place for all many require payment from women, in addition to profes- a weekday college or trucker people—as long as you follow a The third rule for a good the married men of Ameri- strippers at the onset of the sional pride, is the expense night) is often utilized to few basic ground rules in order one-night stand is to make your ca.” As a demographic with a evening. The strippers, in of working. If the stripper increase market penetra- to protect yourself. intentions clear. You know what decent amount of discretion- turn, keep any and all tips. makes a $30 payment at the tion and increase consumer The fi rst rule of a one-night your own intentions are, and ary income, these men are The initial direction of the beginning of the night, then surplus. Ultimately, though, stand is to look out for your you ought to know enough not the driving economic force cash fl ow sheds light on two most of her fi rst hour would strip clubs market luxury own safety. This holds true to seek out a one-night stand behind the $5 billion strip elementary paradoxes evi- be spent just getting back goods; holistically these facts whether you have met someone unless you know you have the club industry. This capital is into the green. suggest a kinked demand for the fi rst time or you’re being ability to live in the moment concentrated in relatively few Rational people respond curve. sexual for the fi rst time with and not demand a long-term re- hands: A mid-sized club can “The paperwork’s a to incentives, so having strip- Although this article pro- an acquaintance. Before going lationship afterwards. But, you generate $15,000–$20,000 breeze and we can de- pers start their shift with vides a solid introduction to anywhere alone with them, can’t always be sure about the in revenue on a Saturday a defi cit gives them strong the economic workings of the talk to them in public for long other person. So, before you go night, and a stripper with an duct any work-related encouragement to dance the strip club industry, its length enough to get a read on them. anywhere with them, tell them absolute advantage can earn night away. This effect is means it cannot begin to re- It’s not a perfect barometer, but that you do not intend for it to nearly $1,000 in a night. expenses, like tear- magnifi ed for average-look- fl ect all the conclusions I’ve you need to make sure you feel happen more than once, and But how are these lucra- ing strippers, who don’t made in my hours of (rather comfortable with this person ask if they are OK with that. Do tive businesses structured? away pants and 8-inch garner as much in tips, and expensive) fi eldwork, and by out of the bedroom before you this out of respect for the other How equitable is the distri- over-enthusiastic strippers no means should it be taken try anything in the bedroom. person, to give them the chance bution of wealth? What is glass heels.” tend to be average-looking. as the 21st century’s fi rst Also, keep a cell phone with to back out if they do not agree the marginal utility of an Clubs also draw revenue defi nitive work on stripper you and tell friends where you with your terms. additional hour on the pole? from cover charges and the economics. will be. Whether you are bring- You also need to do this Economists were dying to dent in all strip clubs. sale of complementary goods Rather, this article was ing a partner home or going to ease your own mind. If the know, and as my capstone 1) The ugly stripper para- such as alcohol and cigars. meant merely to arouse to another person’s place, if other person later says they experience I elected to con- dox. The club has an incen- Though the clubs’ indepen- interest in the subject and anything goes wrong, you can want to see you again, you leave duct a microeconomic posi- tive to get as many dancers dent-contractor relation- provide a springboard for call a friend or even the authori- yourself in the best possible po- tive analysis of the strip club on the stage as possible, as ship with their strippers future studies. Important ties if you need help getting out sition to remove yourself from industry. a part of their revenue is somewhat limits their legal questions clearly remain: of a problematic situation. The the situation or to go with this What I discovered was a directly proportional to the liability, in most cases, clubs How slim is the profi t margin odds are you won’t need to do new possibility. If you want to startlingly effi cient business number of strippers strip- hire bouncers to maintain of a club that opens at noon this, but there is always some stick to your original intention model revolving around in- ping. Naturally, there is a a positive working environ- on a Monday? Would Wash- chance. for it to be a one-night stand, dependent contractors—the scarcity of attractive women, ment. Bouncers are paid at a ington University benefi t The second rule of a one- you can decline and honestly strippers. In contrast to ergo, ugly strippers. How- fl at, hourly rate, and in some from adopting the indepen- night stand: always use protec- respond that they knew that you regular employees, strippers ever, while the invisible hand cases the strippers are also dent contractor business tion. It doesn’t matter if the only wanted it to happen once. retain more control over of the market economy fi lls required to tip them at the model? What are the effects other person claims that sex If you keep these few things hours worked, jobs accepted attractive strippers’ g-strings end of the shift. of strip clubs on substitute will feel better without it, or in mind when and if you decide and the quality of their with singles, it tends to Demand for strip clubs goods such as meaningful claims that you can trust them. to have a one-night stand, it will performance. Cinnamon, a gently usher ugly strippers seems fairly inelastic, as relationships and pornogra- You don’t want to get pregnant be a lot more fun for you. The dancer at a local gentlemen’s offstage. The remaining ugly moves by the states of Texas phy? If nothing else, it would from a one-night stand, and more you do to protect yourself club, gave me some hard data strippers are a product of and Nevada to tax strip clubs probably do everyone good you don’t want to get a sexually physically and emotionally, the about strippers’ tax require- asymmetrical information. (sometimes by 25–30 percent) to consider the trade-offs of transmitted disease. There is al- more energy you’ll have left to ments. There is a fi nite time most have been met with little taking it off. ways some risk of pregnancy if focus on your sexual enjoyment. WEDNESDAY | FEBRUARY 13, 2008 Senior Scene Editor / Meghan Luecke / [email protected] STUDENT LIFE | SCENE X9 STAFF EDITORIAL ResLife: Twin beds are too small Looking to have sexual relations? It can be fun, but not if you have a TINY BED.

The moral of the story: Reslife, a twin bed just doesn’t cut it. When it comes to sex in beds, bigger is better.

Baseless sex: The Into ear sex? Wash. U. hook-up scene Go for it

BY SHAYNA MAKARON of checkpoints? It’s pretty does often change how the BY KATIE AMMANN controversy over what actually to give and receive great feel- SCENE REPORTER obvious that things have relationship progresses. STAFF COLUMNIST counts as “sex.” Some say it’s ings. changed since seventh grade Pat Fahey, a sophomore only vaginal intercourse; oth- These were more or less Remember that huge crush at the movies. If the majority currently in a relationship, ’m sure a lot of you have ers say virginity is lost when (read: a little bit) like the ideas you had on that cute kid in of girls are expected to give says that he likes to, “take seen the episode of “Fam- oral sex occurs. I say it’s about found in the “Family Guy” epi- your seventh grade pre-alge- head during the fi rst hook-up, things at a much slower pace ily Guy” that involves Meg the way what you’re doing sode. Meg made decisions and bra class? You daydreamed in does that mean giving head is if [he] thinks it might lead Ihaving “ear sex.” That’s makes you feel. If sex is pure discoveries about love, “real” class about how you’d totally the new “fi rst base?” to a relationship.” Fahey right—an expression of love fun to you, just remember that sex and ear sex, although it go to fi rst base with him after Despite what you may be also noted that many of his involving the insertion of to someone else it may be the only took her 23 minutes or so. your parents dropped you thinking, this does not appear friends have also chosen to the male sex organ into his ultimate expression of love, Our lives are so full of possi- off at the movies. Maybe even to be the case. At most, the “settle down” this year and partner’s ear. This episode was and to someone else it may be bilities for interpersonal emo- second base if you were one traditional fi rst and second take it slowly. particularly hilarious, since it what consummates a mar- tions, symbolism and physical- of those girls. bases (that is, making out and Making your own decisions addressed the issues couples riage. (These can all overlap, ity that sometimes it’s hard to Oh yes, the bases certainly feeling up) seem to have been dependent upon the situation face when they decide why, obviously.) remember that we’ve got to be do bring back fond memories combined into one, and blow is considered to be far more when and how to have sexual If you get the same emo- introspective to know how to of when any sexual encoun- jobs are the new hand jobs. fashionable than pre-desig- relationships. tional connection or pleasure handle it all. Through that in- ter could be summed up in a But as for a general cam- nating certain acts as neces- Of course, people can have out of oral sex, that’s great too. trospection, love yourself and simple, baseball-inspired re- pus mentality on hooking up, sary or taboo. sex (or ear sex, or oral sex or Or if ear sex is what fl oats your know yourself. Give what you sponse to the question, “How most students choose to set “I think people should abstinent relationships) for boat, rock on and lose your ear want to give; don’t let anything far did you go?” And while the their own standards. accept the fact that as human many reasons. Clearly it’s virginity. be taken away from you. bases were a way to discuss Junior Whitney Button beings, our natural instincts important to consider not Short- and long-term physi- As you fi nd, keep or even our young sex lives in a sort explains, “What’s more im- are to have sex,” explains se- only your own but also your cal relationships take a lot of end relationships, keep a level of secret code, they were also portant than defi ning what is nior Laelle Busch. “People will partner’s personal desires, trust, thought, discussion and head. Remember the people a system of checkpoints in appropriate and inappropriate do with that as they please moral beliefs, religious experimentation; so does love. who’ve been there all along, the natural progression of a is making sure that you are and shouldn’t be judged one interests and comfort level There are countless ways for remember the good times in sexual relationship. comfortable with what you’re way or the other—active or in the relationship. If there’s couples to express devotion all of your relationships, and By junior year in high doing and you feel safe. It’s inactive.” anything that one person isn’t and care in physical and non- love, in different ways, as school, our fondness for the just something you need to So the next time you run ready for, it shouldn’t be done. physical ways. You can write many people as you can. If you bases had diminished, and judge for yourself.” into that hottie from Calc II If a long-term relationship is notes to each other, cuddle up choose to have what Borat calls the terminology had com- Most students agree that subsection and agree to go what you’re looking for, make and watch a movie, get a little “sexy time,” be safe, careful pletely disappeared by the the promiscuous hook-up back to his room, there’s no sure your partner’s in it for the playful in bed or, like Meg and confi dent. And the next time we arrived at Wash. U. culture is far more popular need to turn it into a play- long haul too; if you just want and her boyfriend, get a little time you run into someone Now we use “hooking up,” among underclassmen, but by-play of the other night’s someone to snatch up for the creative. As long as you know from Wash. U.’s a cappella generally defi ned as anything that does not necessarily Cardinals game. But if you night and return in the morn- what messages you’re sending group More Fools than Wise, from kissing to sex, in order determine what comprises feel like you’re ready to make ing, make sure he or she is and you are ready to take on let them do what they do to obscure the dirty details. the sexual experiences. The it to home plate, make sure also looking for that from you. the delights and challenges best—“giving it to ya in the So what about the system possibility of dating, however, he’s wearing a glove. Also, there’s still some you’ll encounter, you’re all set earhole.” X10 STUDENT LIFE | CADENZA Senior Cadenza Editor / Brian Stitt / [email protected] WEDNESDAY | FEBRUARY 13, 2008

n. a technically brilliant, sometimes improvised solo passage toward the close of a concerto, an exceptionally brilliant part of an artistic work arts & CCADENADENZA ZA entertainment Deep Inside the World of Porn A down and dirty look at the 2008 Adult Entertainment Expo

BY BRIAN STITT exploded. With the combination of high-speed internet, SENIOR CADENZA EDITOR bit torrent technology and a pop-culturizing of the adult fi lm industry, porn is more accepted than ever. Porn has been threatening to go mainstream for quite Jenna Jameson graces best-selling book covers, Ryan some time now. Time magazine warned of it all the way Gosling dates sex dolls in adorable romantic comedies back in 1998. But this year, they have fi nally achieved and the famed million-dollar porn movie, “Pirates,” has their much heralded objective. The Adult Video News become a bona fi de cultural touchstone for millions of (AVN) Awards, considered by most to be the Oscars of college students. But the world of porn is still a mystery porn, were covered this year by the CBS program, Sunday to most, and offensive to many. The AEE is a perfect place Morning. Sunday Morning! If you aren’t familiar with the to explore the inherent dichotomies of this industry. Men show that’s probably because it’s a news magazine pro- in suits offer contracts to women in platform heels and gram watched exclusively by people over 60. Not to knock skimpy outfi ts. Note that no nudity is allowed at the AEE. Sunday Morning or Bill Geist’s humorous report; I just Well, no “real” nudity. Fans waiting in line to meet their use this to highlight that if my grandmother knows who favorite stars can watch the women perform all manner Tera Patrick is, porn has most defi nitely arrived. of sex acts on the hundreds of fl at screens populating the Preceding the yearly AVN Awards is the yearly AVN convention fl oor, but if her nipple slips out of that low-cut Adult Entertainment Exposition, known to most as the top while she’s leaning in to sign an autograph, she could Porn Convention, but to insiders as the AEE. Originally be hit with a big fi ne. a small subsection of their annual neighboring conven- The AEE isn’t all boobs in booths, though. There’s tion, the Consumer Electronics Show, the AEE grew large plenty of business going on at the convention, too. Sex enough that AVN had to step in and start an independent shop managers wander the AEE perusing all the new expo. According to the show guide, this changeover hap- video titles (“Pirates 2” coming soon!), the newest video pened in 1998, but don’t expect most people to remember camera technology and exercise balls with attachable sex ZACH TELTHORST | STUDENT LIFE that date. The porn industry is historically very fuzzy toys. What the AEE offers to people who work in porn is A porn star kicks up her heels for the camera at the Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas on with numbers. AVN reported that in the year 2000, rev- an invaluable business resource and a sense of legitimacy enue from sales and rentals of adult videos topped four in an oft-derided industry. What it offers to everyone else Jan. 9, 2008. Fans and media alike fl ocked to Sin City to catch a glimpse of all the new toys, billion dollars, but that number has never been indepen- is total sensory overload: thousands of people milling videos and, of course, the stars. dently confi rmed. An article in Forbes from 2001 quotes around the booths with telephoto-lensed cameras hoping Adams Media Research as giving $1.8 billion a year as a to close-ups of their favorite stars, performers eating “most generous” estimate. For comparison, Adams esti- lunch while wearing naught but panties and pasties and mated the yearly mainstream video market at $20 billion booths offering everything from tooth whitening to 3-D in 2001. televisions. Words, even photos, cannot do justice to the Abbywinters.com But in the seven years since that report, porn has overwhelming nature of the porn convention. Guilt free porn? Maybe not, but there is something different about Abbywinters.com. Their booth was certainly the surprise hit XXXChurch.com of the 2008 AEE. In stark contrast to the heavily made-up, tarty porn High Tech Sex Toys Billing themselves as the number one Christian porn Web site, stars at most booths, Abbywinters.com took a simple, stripped- xxxchurch.com actually features no porn whatsoever. “People ask down approach. A dozen or so girls wandered around a sloping, As- From the OhMiBod, the vibrator that pulses along with your if we have naked nuns; sorry no porn,” founder Craig Gross jokes. troturfed area smack in the middle of the convention, wearing jeans Ipod to the Fleshlight, a fl ashlight-shaped, dishwasher-safe “We want to help people that are struggling with porn. We don’t with white T-shirts and/or bras. They eagerly and enthusiastically device men can pleasure themselves with, sex toys are becoming want to shut it down, we don’t want to picket it, we don’t want to engaged fans in conversation or games of speed chess. At the same high tech and a big business. The infl atable woman has evolved get in a fi ght. If you look at too much porn and want help, we’re time the girls weren’t afraid to start snogging halfway through a into the silicone sex doll with realistic fl esh and customizable here. If you look at just a little porn and you want help, we’re yoga session. The entire experience felt somewhat like an after- features. The simple vibrator now comes with the option of here.” For just over six years (the church celebrated its birthday hours party on the set of “Teletubbies,” with all the cute girls from remote controls and various attachments to enhance pleasure. during the convention) xxxchurch.com has been offering services your Writing 1 class—if all the girls in your class were Australian. It Many blend form with function, attaining a modern artistic to people who want out of the industry. Their agenda is not politi- wasn’t just the booth, but the product they were promoting that was sensibility or successfully disguising themselves as normal cal, and not even aggressively religious. They hand out Bibles in stark contrast to what ruled the rest of the convention. Marigold, household items. My personal favorite was presented to me by a emblazoned with their motto, “Jesus Loves Porn Stars,” at porn a long time model and speed chess fi end, describes it best. “Abby Taiwanese man who spoke little English. The business end of the shows around the world. “Right wing Christians are saying, ‘Lets Winters.com is an Australian adult Web site with young natural device seemed like any motorized dildo, one with a substantial make everyone do things our way. Lets take (porn) out of hotels. amateur Aussies having fun in our own environment, usually in base that can thrust itself. But then he showed me the electronic Lets ban it. Just stop buying it.’” Gross isn’t exactly porn friendly, our own homes in our own rooms in our own clothes no makeup, brain behind this ersatz phallus: a silver briefcase fi lled with (“God’s plan for sex is a beautiful thing, but we’ve twisted it,”) but full bush, everything natural and real.” And then of course there’s dozens of lights and knobs. It seemed to be the sex toy of choice he is porn star friendly (“Jesus loves porn stars just as much as he the fact that there are no boys. While this site certainly isn’t a clean for James Bond. Despite its retro appeal, the toy seemed to fea- loves pastors”). He tries to focus on letting women know that they alternative to porn, there’s something refreshing about seeing girls ture too many functions. But Pussy Galore would have loved it. don’t need to accept pornography if they don’t feel comfortable actually enjoy themselves in a natural environment while they with it. “So many girls on college campuses, now, are into porn. explore their voyeuristic side. I don’t think they’re as visually turned on as the guys but they think they need that to get the guy.” Getting up close and personal with a porn star

BY BRIAN STITT “A lot of the concern people have with pornog- posed the question in 2006, “Will 18-year-old movie. The woman in front of me in the theater SENIOR CADENZA EDITOR raphy comes from the fact that they don’t know Sasha Grey become the adult fi lm industry’s was wearing Patchouli oil and for some reason how to express themselves sexually…you’re next Jenna Jameson?” With her crossover ap- it brought a whole different vibe to the fi lm. It asha Grey is a porn star. Right now, she’s never going to learn unless you try.” She refers peal and intelligence it’s certainly possible. Ver- was really bizarre how it worked.” Some of her at the top of her game, having just col- to herself as a pervert and is quick to point out tigo, the DC comic which has graced the covers favorites include “Jules et Jim”, Godard’s “My lected the 2008 Adult Video News (AVN) that her sexual tastes, which include spitting, of such classics as “Sandman,” “V for Vendetta” Life to Live” and Steve Soderbergh’s “Schizopo- SAward, for Female Performer of the Year. slapping, vomit (basically anything that doesn’t and the recently ended “Y: The Last Man,” wants lis.” “As much as I love “There will be Blood” we Speaking with her at the Adult Entertainment involve kids or animals) are not the norm. “I to make a graphic novel based on her, and she already have fi lms like that that challenge art Expo, before her win at the AVN Awards, she don’t mean you’re going to go watch porn and talks cryptically of a mainstream fi lm project and fi lm-making. But people are unaware of seemed unworried about the awards show, learn something; that’s not how normal people with a “very well-known director.” But Sasha them, but because they have PT Anderson and considered by many to be the Oscars of the usually have sex. [Watching Grey offers something that because of how well known he is, it gets more porn world. porn] is an experience and even Jenna Jameson hasn’t leverage.” “It’s not a big deal. From a business stand- you should want to experi- got. First, it is a dedication to point, it would be nice (to win) because it helps ence and to learn.” the ultra-hardcore porn that is On music to sell your product. There is an audience who Because of her age and now emerging into the main- Musically, her tastes run the gamut, but, only looks at porn that wins awards.” But Sasha her choices, she meets a lot stream adult market, and more recently, Sasha Grey has strayed towards Grey’s popularity goes far beyond porn fans. “I of resistance from the public. second, that she is relatable. the experimental side of music. “I’ve been lis- have a large fan base who doesn’t watch porn, An appearance on the Tyra She doesn’t have fake breasts tening to a lot of Current 93, a lot of Coil, Dan- just because of my outside interests.” A quick Banks Show turned into an or bushy blonde hair, and she zig.” Her attitudes on illegal downloading lean scan of her MySpace page shows that she does attack on the porn indus- doesn’t fi t the stereotype of toward the negatively apathetic, but for a per- not live up to the typical perception of the porn try and its appeal to young “porn star.” But still, she isn’t former who certainly loses some money to pi- actress. girls. Sasha doesn’t complain apologetic or regretful. She racy her attitude is understandable. “It depends She keeps long dark hair and her eyes have about her appearance on doesn’t rule out growing tired on what your take is. The market will split in a sleepy quality but burn with confi dence. Her that show, she knew from of the lifestyle eventually. half between people who want to own and interests include Bauhaus architecture, the the beginning that it would “The minute I don’t like what the online people.” She is in a small, unsigned Dogme 95 fi lm movement and she lists Carl turn out the way it did, but I’m doing I don’t want to do experimental band called Atelecine. “We record from “Aqua Teen Hunger Force” as a personal she does mention that the it anymore, I don’t want to be whenever we can, we’re pretty much doing it for hero. In other words, she’s a pretty, intelligent program was heavily edited one of those people who hates ourselves. You can hunt us down on MySpace college-aged woman capable of holding a con- to make her seem more naïve my job, who hates my career.” and check it out.” Anyone whose MySpace page

versation on any number of topics. She spoke than she is. ZACH TELTHORST | STUDENT LIFE While her recent award win has three references to David Bowie has got to with ease and knowledge about everything “People challenge me be- has certainly sped up that make something worth listening to. from the election to her career to Radiohead’s cause of my age and because Sasha Grey, 2008 Adult Video News track to mainstream fame, new album and its unique release style. “It’s so I’m a woman. People don’t Female Performer of the Year Sasha Grey seems unfl appa- On politics awesome. Who ...does that? Radiohead, I guess. believe that a 19-year-old girl ble. She has made her choices “Can’t wait till November. It’s exciting but I, myself, am a collector of music and fi lm. I col- has an opinion. They don’t and, while she doesn’t expect it’s also scary. I think there will be a Democrat lect packaging. So, when that vinyl comes out, see that I can do what I do and be proud of what everyone to agree, she hopes people will be able in offi ce but I’m curious to see who and I’m I’ll defi antly be getting it.” I do.” Her attempts to change the health care to respect her enough to let her make them. curious to see if the y live up to what they say.” At 19, she looks and acts like a college stu- system within the porn industry have been She is careful to not be too specifi c with her dent, which is to say that she is strongly opin- fruitless so far, (“It should be a lot better,”) and On movies political leanings, but certainly is open with the ionated but still curious. Sasha grew up outside acknowledges that even within the industry, “I like fi lmmakers who take a risk. Some- cynicism so many young people share. “I was of Sacramento, California and, after spending people hold her age against her. But Sasha’s body like (Jean-Luc) Godard or Robert Altman, listening to NPR the other day and they were some time in college started looking into the rising fame should give her a larger platform, as or somebody like Crispin Glover.” She espe- reporting on a rally and the people there were adult fi lm industry. She saw it as a way to make well as open her up to more criticism from the cially appreciates Crispin Glover’s attempts to shouting “We want change! We want change!” her mark on an artistic scene and explore her public. “Honestly, I don’t care, as long as I’m not promote his experimental movies, like “What Is and it gets me because I don’t hear the convic- sexuality. Sasha toyed with the idea of entering hurting anybody, right?... I know what I’m doing It?” without much help from the studio. “I really tion in their voices. I just think it’s a spark. One adult fi lm for several weeks before she started and I know why I’m doing it.” like the way he’s touring with his fi lm, like it’s person started saying it. I don’t feel the convic- looking into it seriously. “Don’t do it for the Like many porn stars, Sasha Grey has a his baby. I think the fans, especially cineastes, tion. It depresses me because I do want change money. I did research for eight months before I plan, but hers seem more than just mere pipe like to go see that.” and I know there are a lot of people out there got in and it still isn’t enough.” dreams. “I want to direct and make an impact Although she works constantly (after less that do as well.” Sasha is known for performing in very hard- on this industry. If I do get into mainstream than two years she has 90 titles listed on the In- When asked about her feelings on a viable core, often rough, sex scenes. She understands fi lm, I’d want to bring my voice, but I’d want to ternet Adult Film Database) she fi nds some time presidential candidate that didn’t believe in the concerns many have with the porn industry play a real character, not just myself.” to watch new releases. “Two fi lms that defi antly evolution, she responded with a little laugh. and especially with its treatment of women, but Sasha Grey has already made an impact on stick out are “No Country for Old Men” by the “Just like all porn stars are supposed to be on thinks a lot of the animosity towards pornogra- the industry. Her popularity and marketability Coen Brothers and “There Will be Blood” by PT crack—I’ll just say no comment, because that’s phy comes from a misunderstanding of intent. is growing every day. Los Angeles Magazine Anderson. Brilliant. I keep thinking about that just ridiculous.” WEDNESDAY | FEBRUARY 13, 2008 Senior Cadenza Editor / Brian Stitt / [email protected] STUDENT LIFE | CADENZA X11

Your advanced guide to which attainable Sleeping with the stars: celebrities should be on your to-do list

BY MATT KARLAN AND CECILIA RAZAK favorite celebrity.” Well, this is all very true. But CADENZA STAFF hold on there, funny Valentine; that doesn’t The cast of “Sex and the Rick Moranis mean every celebrity is off limits. I mean, you’ve I’d let Rick Moranis shrink me and launch Hey, typical Wash. U. student: Are you non- got some redeeming qualities. You’re unbeat- City,” excluding Kristin Davis me down a plastic ramp in a toy car any day. plussed about your body image? Depressed that able at Halo, you have an impressive ensemble He could ravage me at the fi fty-yard line after your looks may range somewhere between sub- of North Face jackets and your score on the ACTs (the hot brunette) sending Icebox and Junior Floyd out for ice par and frumpy? Well, “The Insider’s Guide to was in the upper percentiles (though only a few A secret of the trade: The acting on this cream. Those domineering nerd glasses, com- Colleges” says that Wash. U. undergraduates call points shy of your BMI). show seemed so authentic because it wasn’t bined with his fumbling hands and endearing themselves a “moderate to very attractive stu- So, as a guide to bedding that famous beau, acting. The leading men and women were actu- stutter only make him more sextastic. Best of dent body.” here’s a list of the most attainable celebrities ally used to scoring members of the opposite all, only he knows the specifi c anatomy of a Oh, my, it seems you’re all in denial. Well, around. If you happen to see any of these homely sex with facial abnormalities. I have always person two inches tall, and therefore only he that’s simply not healthy at all. personalities while getting your unibrow styled been fl ummoxed by the drawing power of can hit all the right buttons. But for those of you who have faced the truth, or picking up a quart of frozen yogurt to down watching horse-faced, plastic surgery ridden you homely realists, all is not lost. You may be before noon, you are welcome to hit on them ladies get their jollies, but it does instill some thinking to yourself, “I have jowls, unsightly without being maced. In fact, you could prob- hope that there’s a whole stable of actors out Sneezy sweating patterns and a rigid hunch like a div- ably sleep with them by the end of the day on there who would get with anyone who owns an Yes, yes, I know. “Sneezy?” you say. “I ing board. I would never have a chance with my their futon made of residual checks. apartment on the upper east side. couldn’t get Sneezy if I were Brad Pitt. Hell, Snow White couldn’t even hit that, and she had skin as pale as Marcia Cross.” He may seem out Randy Quaid of your league at fi rst, but there’s a simple way to this dwarf’s heart: carry a box of tissues and Randy Quaid, also known as the less-hot a miniature bottle of Claritin, and he’ll be like Quaid, the poor-man’s Quaid and “not Den- nasal fl uid in your hand. nis,” seems like a likable guy. He seems fairly personable. And he seems passably attractive. I would jump on him as soon as Dennis turned Cookie Monster, The Count me down, just to prove a point. In a similar vein, the Cookie Monster has a well-documented one-track mind. Tuck a pack- age of Chips Ahoy away in your girdle—and Christopher Lloyd they start with C, so they must be good enough The man who brought us the time-traveling for him. If, during coitus, you fi nd yourself Delorean could never be a has-been, but he still slightly left out while he pays special atten- can be had. As the wild-haired Doc, the no-haired tion to the sweet treat’s chocolate chips, well, Uncle Fester and the hat-haired Al in “Angels in you’ll just have to wait. Hopefully the Count the Outfi eld,” Christopher Lloyd is not just an is nearby, and you can make sweet puppet love icon—he’s a dish in any dimension, and with all three times. Ah, ah, ah! One! two! three! those hair mishaps, an attainable one. “Great Scott, Marty, let’s take that co-ed Back... to the apartment!” Rachel Dratch Think Tina Fey is secretly hot? Well, secret’s out, because so does everyone else. Trust me, Jared (Fogle) from Subway, you aren’t the only one who thinks her scar is “actually quite cute.” But she’s really success- and the Verizon Guy ful right now and out of your league, so go Your friends will certainly be impressed after her more asymmetric companion, Rachel in hearing you were double teamed by these Dratch. Sure, there ain’t nothing like the real pillars of advertising. I’d imagine they would thing, but hey, she’s cuter than Rob Schneider? approach you at a bar or your local Subway res- taurant and the Verizon Guy would ask, “Can you sleep with us now? Good.” Then you’d all go back to Jared’s house and jump in the sack, Tia and Tamara Mowry, Ben and, by sack, I mean Jared’s old pants. Jared would ask if you wanted a bite of his foot long. Savage, Dave Coulier TEMU BROWN | STUDENT LIFE And you’d vow to never call them, which would I actually saw Tamara Mowry at an all-you- be simple because Verizon has such shoddy can-eat $6 Thai buffet over the summer. (Yes, coverage. I can tell them apart.) Her boyfriend was some overweight, unemployed nobody. And she still looked in pretty good shape. Which made me The 1.5 men who are not realize that out-of-work former stars of family Best songs to play shows probably have such low self-esteem now Charlie Sheen on “Two and a that any schlub with $6 and a mode of trans- while having sex Half Men” portation could get with them. And you could TOP 10 brag to all your friends that Cory Matthews BY DAVID KAMINSKY Gangly John Cryer and round young Angus said your body was sexier than Topanga’s. MUSIC EDITOR T. Jones seem the perfect prey, so overshad- (Although, so is Seabiscuit’s.) “Hey, did Uncle owed by their famous counterpart that they Joey talk dirty in bed?” “Not really. He did a lot Everyone has one thing they hold most valuable when trying to set the proper mood might just jump on anything that tosses a bone of impressions of Yosemite Sam and Popeye, for their sexual endeavors. For some it’s lighting, for others it’s obtaining the proper their way—even a Wash. U. student. though.” toys and foods, but for us at Cadenza, it’s ensuring that the music is just right. Thus, on this very special Valentine’s Day we are pleased to give you a list of 10 Olive Oyl DJ Jazzy Jeff Speaking of Popeye, if you’re incredibly songs (in no specifi c order) and the situations in which they’ll best complement the Even if he insists on doing it “Big Willie jacked but have the face of a Doberman Pincher sex you will be having. Style” and yelling out Tatyana Ali’s name at and the complexion of a poorly-played game orgasm, you will get to meet Uncle Phil in the of Battleship, then here’s your lady. She’ll be Dave Matthews Band – “Crash” (First 30 seconds or so) morning when he shows up to collect overdue impressed by how much iron is in your system rent money. “Man, parents just don’t under- and how poorly proportioned you are. Just I know what you’re thinking. This is a sexy song. I suppose you could easily fi nd that to be true. stand I’m in the lowest tax bracket.” make sure to keep it gentle, she’s fragile and 1 But what I fi nd most fi tting about it is the way in which it helps draw the comparison between malnourished. the fi rst time you had sex and the fi rst time you took the family car out for a spin after getting your license…“crash.” And you thought you were so prepared. BOOK REVIEW Radiohead – “Everything in its Right Place” While the lyrics don’t actually mean anything, this song is compelling to the point of being mesmerizing. This is a great track for the really romantic as it reminds those engaged in the 2 ‘Lost Girls:’ Sex, fairytales sexual act that truly “everything is in its right place.”

Ratatat – “Wildcat” and the graphic novel Feeling frisky? This is the track for you. “Wildcat” features a sound sample of an actual, well… wildcat, mixed in with the electronic–instrumentals with which Ratatat creates its groove. This BY ELIZABETH OCHOA believable of all. When she is characters read a book that 3 MUSIC EDITOR still a child a twitchy family illustrates incestuous sex. is one in which you can get into the rhythm without having to lose that extra intensity. friend called Bunny sexually One character exclaims, “And Graphic novelist Alan assaults Alice. During the act, then children: how outra- Moore may be most famous she imagines herself looking geous! How old can they be?” The Early November – “I Want to Hear You Sad” for “V for Vendetta” and in a mirror watching an- The response is, “Eleven? “I Want to Hear You Sad” is emo at its best. Poppy and catchy as can be while being intensely “Watchmen” but neither of- other version of herself. This Twelve? It is quite monstrous bitter. Thus, it’s perfect for hate sex. For best effect use strangulation as your kink of choice fers the sex appeal of his racy detachment from reality is except that they are fi ctions, 4 graphic novel, “Lost Girls.” He surprisingly naturalistic, and as old as the page they appear during this sex session and add force during the chorus as singer Ace Enders belts out, “For all takes a down and dirty ap- nicely ties into the fairy tale upon, no less, no more. Fact of this, I’m better off without you.” proach to some of children’s we all know so well. As you and fi ction: only madmen and literature’s most beloved may have guessed, these are magistrates cannot discrimi- characters and in a way not wholly original charac- nate between them.” The Faint – “Worked Up So Sexual” that catapults him from the ters. Moore has taken these Moore confronts the issue A pulsing electronic beat with grotesquely sexual lyrics. This one works in any situation. depths of naughty fan fi ction children’s stories that are all of depicting children in sexu- into the world of published so universally known and al situations directly by hav- 5 art. suggests a sexual explanation ing his characters moralize The graphic novel tells for the obvious metaphors the very issue he knows will Her Space Holiday – “The Luxury of Loneliness” the tale of three middle-aged about growing up. How do the face his own book on release. The Postal Service-style electronic beats with more sullen vocals. This one’s perfect for a women meeting at an Europe- Queen of Hearts, Tweedledee He goes on to take a little lonely, wistful boning, as the whole time it reminds you to ask yourself why you’re even having an hotel. Each woman, Wendy, and Tweedledum, the Lost meta-fi ctional jab at the issue 6 Dorothy and Alice, confi des Boys, the Tin Man and the by having the same character sex with that person in the fi rst place. The empty feeling you’ll have inside before having sex to this song will not compare to that which you’ll have after. in the others about the Scarecrow fi t in? The answer make this confession in the strange nature of their sexual is simple: in sexy, sexy ways. next panel. “And since Hel- awakenings as children. Each Gaining wide publicity not ena, who I just f***ed, is only Justice – “D.A.N.C.E.” had made up a fantasy-land only for issues with copyright thirteen, I am very guilty.” that helped them confront infringement but also with Moore uses humor to address If sex for you is a party then this is a great one. Sync to the beat in your thrusting/bouncing to their complex emotional the wide variety of para- and then dismiss what is a 7 truly get into the groove. states. philias—from zoophilia to very serious concern. As a child, Wendy met a katoptronophilia (paraphilia Overall, the issue of il- boy named Peter in the park for mirrors)—“Lost Girls” is lustrated child pornography Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova – “Falling Slowly” and he and his other home- worth reading if only for the is inexorably linked with this This sweet sentimental little ditty sung by two lovers (with a 20-year age difference between less friends expose her to the controversial elements. graphic novel. More atten- them, kind of gross, I know) is one to set the mood after the next date at the movies seeing a wonders of sex. She later con- But it offers a lot more tion should be given to the 8 fronts a man with a crippled than that. Each woman must way Moore weaves together romantic comedy. hand that appears very hook- deal with evolving sexuality well-known fairy tales with like, whose actions both turn and their past, which all have the ‘real life events’ which Stars – “Heart” her on and scare her. kept secret until they meet caused the girls to make up Somewhat sad and somewhat sweet all at the same time, “Heart” is a good one for more calm Dorothy’s story is that of each other. the stories. The girls’ fi rst occasions as well as, in particular, for make-up sex. Take comfort as the duo of Torquil Camp- a sex-fueled girl from Kan- The most controversial sexual experiences were in 9 sas. Her sexual awakening aspect of “Lost Girls” is the many ways scarring and so bell and Amy Milan sing to you in the chorus, “I’m still in love with you.” Now that’s nice. begins when she is caught in depiction of minors having they transformed them into a tornado and begins to mas- sex. Legally, the decision elaborate stories. turbate (it makes more sense was made that if no children “Lost Girls” offers one of TV on the Radio – “I Was a Lover” in context). After the tornado were harmed or used in the the best graphic novel au- “I Was a Lover” has a fantastic electronic drumbeat that one can sync to. That combined has settled, she takes it upon production, then it cannot thors working in the genre of with the spacey feeling of the horn parts make it a good song to jive to when trying to get 10 herself to have sex with every be child pornography. Oddly, erotica withut sacrifi cing his that special feeling. man who works on her farm. Moore addresses this concern tendencies towards metaphor Alice’s story is the most head on in chapter 22 when and allusion. X12 STUDENT LIFE | PHOTO Senior Photo Editor / David Hartstein / [email protected] WEDNESDAY | FEBRUARY 13, 2008 Sexiled and hot to trot: the bleachers Where to hook up when your room isn’t an option all photos by Evan Wiskup the piano room A well-kept secret of the newer dormitory buildings lies in their piano and music practice rooms. Soundproof and secluded, completed by a piano to seduce one’s lover with musical stylings, there is hardly a better place to whisk each other away. However, be sure to avoid rug burn, as these mini-rooms all are well carpeted.

If you and your partner have decided to go to a Wash. U. sporting event and, ob- viously are bored and start rubbing on each other to pass the time, do remem- ber that you can safely retire to the underside of where you are sitting—that’s right. Inside the bleachers! Crawl underneath in your furtive, seductive manner and commence said rubbing under the shiny canopy. Careful not to rock the structure; this may result in getting caught. the observatory

With an aperture of six inches, the main telescope is already a dead giveaway. After staring at the non-existent stars of the greater St. Louis area, you will be so romanced that you and your partner will need to kiss, coo and perhaps even explore the Milky Way. But, don’t forget to call 314-935-OBSV before you venture over here. It’s not always open. the elevator the dugout If you’re tired of scoring on home base, retreat to the next best place—the Dugout. You can dig each other; but don’t forget to tidy up afterwards. A body covered in dirt is a solid giveaway.

the trash room What’s more romantic than gi- ant trash cans, sticky recycling bins, and the oh-so-potent smell of the rotting of your en- tire fl oor’s Bears Den routine? Oh, and these rooms even have extra large sized trash bags, so you can make a lovely blanket on the fl oor for you and your lover to commence upon.

There’s hardly a place more famed to sneak off to with your lovey-dovey than the quiet, but impuslive lair of the elevator. Here you can push your partner’s buttons with features like the stop button for complete privacy, and even side metal bars for gripping, the only thing you have to worry about is the way sound carries down its shaft. No pun intended. WEDNESDAY | FEBRUARY 13, 2008 Senior Photo Editor / David Hartstein / [email protected] STUDENT LIFE | PHOTO X13 —The 7 Deadly Sins— While everyone is cozying up with their signifi cant other this Valentine’s Day, it is worth remembering the Seven Deadly Sins and the dangers they pose to the debonnaire young man. lust wrath

Beware the wrath of a woman scorned, especially when she’s wearing stilettos. sloth

Remember, you were created with two heads, but not enough blood to use both at the same time. Make good choices.

If you can’t get up, you’ll never get down. You can lie around in bed all envy day, but remember, it takes two to tango. pride

You can look but you can’t touch. Well, you can, but don’t get caught. greed

If you put yourself on a pedestal, it will be all the easier to get knocked down. gluttony Everything in moderation, except the all photos by Lionel Sobehart fun stuff. Stay away from gold diggers. Having that girl take your heart away is great, but don’t let her get away with your wallet, too.