March 2014 SelectedAanspraak articles in English translation Afdeling Verzetsdeelnemers en Oorlogsgetroffenen

‘Remembrance must not take over your life’ Jan Zweens tells of his experiences as a child in the Japanese internment camps Contents

The page numbers refer to the original Dutch edition

Page 3 Speaking for your benefit

Page 4-7 ‘Freedom can never be taken for granted’ Martin van Rijn, State Secretary for Health, Welfare and Sport (VWS) talks on the subject of care for former members of the resistance and victims of war

Page 8-12 ‘Remembrance must not take over your life’ Jan Zweens tells of his experiences as a child in the Japanese internment camps

Page 13 Applying for a reassessment of your periodic benefit or extraordinary pension

Aanspraak - Maart 2014 - 2 Contents

The page numbers refer to the original Dutch edition

Page 14-18 How my father’s war became my war

Page 22 Questions and Answers

No rights may be derived from this text. Translation: SVB, Amstelveen.

Aanspraak - Maart 2014 - 3 Speaking for your benefit

It is my sad duty to inform you that General (Ret.) It was his knowledge of the resistance in the East Govert Huijser, former chair of the Pension and Indies that led him to join the Extraordinary Pension Benefit Board, passed away on Sunday 5 January Board in 1986. In 1989 he was authorized by the 2014. He was, for many years, the personification of minister to make the necessary preparations for the Board, and a champion of the interests of all its setting up the Pension and Benefit Board (PUR). clients. As my predecessor, he was a great example to me personally, and that is why I would like to take His particular form of energetic and decisive the time here to reflect on how important he has optimism won him many supporters. During the been for all of us. 20 years of his inspiring leadership, from 1990 to 2011, the PUR grew to become the organization As a result of what he himself went through during for former members of the resistance and victims the war, Govert Huijser always had a close affinity of war in the . An exceptional with our client groups. He understood them not achievement, for which we owe him a great debt. only with his head, but also with his heart. Born in Surabaya in 1931, Govert was 11 when the war Filled with admiration and gratitude for all he broke out in what was then the Dutch East Indies. accomplished on behalf of former members of The years he spent in a boy’s camp were extremely the resistance and victims of the Second World hard, and to lose his mother there as well was War, we remember him now with respect. simply unbearable. Selamat Jalan, farewell Govert Huijser.

In one of his poems on this subject, he asked himself the question ‘Will I ever be able to stop hating?’ But he was the sort of person who was capable of converting hatred into a positive force, and of acting in the interests of those who survived, Hans Dresden in a spirit of remembrance and reconciliation. Chair of the Pension and Benefit Board That is what I so greatly admire in him. (Pensioen- en Uitkeringsraad)

Aanspraak - Maart 2014 - 4 ‘Freedom can never be taken for granted’ Martin van Rijn, State Secretary for Health, Welfare and Sport (VWS) talks on the subject of care for former members of the resistance and victims of war

On 5 November 2012, Martin van Rijn (PvdA) was had rebelled. During the ceremony, Jules Schelvis appointed Secretary of State for Health, Welfare received an award from the Polish government for and Sport (VWS) in the Rutte-Asscher cabinet. the many years he has spent informing people about As such, he is responsible for the care for former the war, and his commitment to the commemoration members of the resistance and victims of war. of the victims of Sobibor. He told us that none of the prisoners had any idea at the time about what How do you see this particular responsibility? was waiting for them at the end of their long train Martin van Rijn: “Personally, I feel that it is an honour journey. He thought he was going there to work and and a great responsibility to work for this special even took his guitar with him so he could play for the target group. The schemes for former members of others. But as soon as he arrived he was separated the resistance and victims of war grew out of the from his fiancée and his parents-in-law, who were idea of special solidarity and a debt of honour, and immediately sent to the gas chambers. By pure the need to ensure that this never happens again chance, Schelvis was assigned on arrival to a work and that it is remembered and commemorated. And team for another camp and eventually managed there is also the question of how to convey the past to survive the horror.” to future generations.” What were your impressions of the Are you personally involved in some way with commemorations you have attended so far? members of the resistance and victims of war? “Every commemoration is valuable in its own way, “I am too young to have experienced the war at but there are three I’d particularly like to mention. first-hand, but I have been closely involved with First, the commemoration ceremony at the National victims of the Second World War through my Monument in Dam Square, at which so many Dutch immediate family. My mother-in-law was a prisoner at citizens are still willing to observe a two-minute a number of camps in Java. Every so often, she takes silence. This commemoration keeps our memory the whole family, all her children and grandchildren, as a nation alive. to Bronbeek. For example, we all went together to the Women’s Internment Camps Commemoration The commemoration at Sobibor was different on 25 August. Every time you hear people’s stories in character. It still touches me deeply that I was at these events, you realise how little we know allowed to take part in it. People from many about this part of our history. different backgrounds stood together in silence and remembered all those who had been killed. I visit a lot of people in the course of my work, and The ceremony included the unveiling of a new I attend many commemorations. On 14 October commemoration centre on the ground where the 2013, I attended a commemoration ceremony at the camp had stood. The centre is being built with the former Nazi death camp at Sobibor in what was then financial assistance of the Dutch government, and occupied Poland, together with a Dutch survivor of in cooperation with Poland, Israel and Slovakia. the camp, Jules Schelvis. It was on that day, seventy It will stand as a permanent tribute to each person years earlier, that a group of prisoners in the camp who was murdered there.

Aanspraak - Maart 2014 - 5 On 15 August I went to the East Indies and Benefit Board (PUR) and the Client Council. Commemoration ceremony with my mother-in-law. What were your impressions? Diederik van Vleuten gave a speech there, and my “It is extraordinary to see how much attention is mother-in-law identified with his story completely. given in these benefit schemes to clients’ personal She said, “It’s just like hearing my father talk!” stories. Many of the staff are specialists in this field Especially as it was hardly ever mentioned. “You and they work together with the Pension and Benefit didn’t want to burden your children with it, but there Board, the Client Council and their own verification was no one else you could talk to.” My mother-in-law officers to ensure that their client group is treated never used to mention it either. But more recently, with the utmost care. I could see that the emotions she wrote her story down and my children, her felt by the resistance members and victims of war grandchildren, are very interested in reading it. in the Pension and Benefit Board and the Client It’s only then that the stories start to surface and Council were still very strong under the surface. you can talk to each other about them.” I think it must be a difficult task to take decisions that affect this group of people. But the staff are Is your policy with regard to the schemes for very knowledgeable and they deal with people former resistance members and victims of war and their personal details with the utmost care.” different from that of your predecessors? “I think we’ve managed to achieve something Do you expect there to be any changes to the important in the Netherlands by having such schemes for former resistance members and victims arrangements for special groups of people like of war? these. I think it’s wonderful that when we devised the No, we are doing our best to maintain the current schemes, we asked former resistance members and legal and regulatory agreements in this area, but victims of war themselves to give us their opinions sometimes a change occurs as the result of a court and advice. I see the same level of involvement ruling. In 2013, a judgment by the Central Appeals among their representatives today when it comes Tribunal led to an amendment of the Benefit Act to the application and implementation of the for Victims of Persecution 1940-1945 (Wuv scheme) schemes. This has resulted in a consistent policy that whereby benefits to clients in Indonesia and other is admired by other countries. Special solidarity and countries will, in future, be indexed to the cost the acknowledgement of a debt of honour are very of living in the Netherlands. In addition, benefit important for all concerned, and I believe policy in payments will now be made in euros instead of in this area should be steady and not subject to too rupiahs.” much change.” The transition from the Pension and Benefit Board The care sector is coming under pressure in to the Sociale Verzekeringsbank was originally the Netherlands because of the costs involved. instigated to safeguard the quality of client Is proper account being taken of this special services. The last client satisfaction study shows and vulnerable group, which is also aging? that this has been successful. Will you continue “What we need here are specific provisions for to provide the SVB with the means to maintain a group of people with a special set of problems. this level of service and material care right up These would not fit into the general picture for the to the very last client? provision of care. I would like to leave the provisions “Yes, that is precisely why everything was transferred exactly as they are now until our very last client as to the SVB. Client numbers are declining rapidly and victim of the Second World War.” the government wants to guarantee the continuity of services. That is why you have been incorporated On 16 July 2013, you paid your first working visit into a larger organization like the SVB that will be to the Department for Former Members of the able to guarantee the quality of client services in the Resistance and Victims of War at the offices of long term. This has gone according to plan and the the Sociale Verzekeringsbank in Leiden, where quality of service has been maintained. I think this is you spoke to representatives of the Dutch Pension very important.”

Aanspraak - Maart 2014 - 6 You are also responsible for education concerning What do we have to do to ensure that we the Second World War. Is this being carried out can live together freely and peacefully? as you would wish? How do you see it developing “This certainly represents a major challenge for in the long term? all the organizations concerned and for education. “The main question for the coming years is not just At secondary school, I read Harry Mulisch’s book how to keep the memory alive, but particularly, “Case 40/61” about the Eichmann case and it had what will it mean for future generations. Instead of a big impact on me. We need to go further than just remembering it, we should look at past causes asking how other others were able to commit these and discuss these in the present. I recently had a acts. We must also ask ourselves “What am I doing meeting with my colleague and fellow minister Jet now to prevent this kind of thing happening?” Bussemaker (Education, Culture and Science) and Freedom can never be taken for granted. Current (Social Affairs and Employment), and future generations will need to keep working together with the National Committee for 4 and on it together.” 5 May, the Anne Frank House, commemoration centres, representatives of Jewish organizations, Interview and photos: Ellen Lock Muslim organizations and the Gay movement to examine present-day issues such as anti-Semitism, Islamophobia and homophobia and to take a united stance against them. It is a hopeful sign that such divergent organizations are willing to get together on this.”

Aanspraak - Maart 2014 - 7 ‘Remembrance must not take over your life’

Jan Zweens tells of his experiences as a child in the Japanese internment camps

When the Japanese camps came under the direct To my child’s eyes, they looked like monkeys, like command of the Japanese army in 1944, boys aged a species whose behaviour was strange and cruel, ten or over were separated from their mothers and but which could not be held morally responsible taken to separate boys’ or men’s camps. For many for its actions. In this way, I could reduce the threat boys, this turned out to be a traumatic experience, they posed and protect myself, but I was still very as they were suddenly left with no one to protect frightened of them. them against violence or abuse from the Japanese guards or the other prisoners. Jan Zweens tells of Officer’s badges how he was parted from his mother in the boys In March 1942, my father was interned as a prisoner camp at Tjihapit in Bandoeng. of war in Struiswijk prison, a men’s camp in Batavia. My mother was left with five children, no income and Seeing the Japanese for the first time a sizeable debt from the year’s study in Holland. A My parents were already living in the Dutch East rich friend came to the rescue and allowed us to live Indies before the war. In 1933, my father wanted to in one of her family houses. Eventually, we were also go the to get the diplomas he needed interned in Tjihapit camp in Blimbinglaan. While we to become a maths teacher. It was there that I was were packing I took some badges from my father’s born, on 2 April, into a Catholic family with three officer’s uniforms and stuck them proudly on to my daughters. In 1934, we moved to Bandung where my belt. You were allowed to take some things from father started work at the state technical secondary home. Anticipating a long internment, my mother school as the only maths teacher without a university was able to take two bookcases of children’s books. education. My mother had been a teacher before These turned out to be useful in creating some she got married and she gave me my first year’s privacy in the room we had to share with other lessons at home. As I didn’t go to school until the families. The camp was situated in a residential area second year, I had to carve out a place for myself in of cheap houses. It was surrounded by a bamboo an already existing social group, which wasn’t easy. fence as tall as a man (gedek), and was under In 1937, my brother was born. permanent guard. As time went by in Tjihapit, we were given less and less to eat and started suffering After the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbour in from all kinds of illnesses because of the lack of December 1941, my father had to report as a reserve variety and vitamins. officer in Bandung. I saw the Japanese for the first time when I went swimming in the pool next to the Tjihapit boys’ camp school where my father taught. Instead of swimming One day in 1944, the Japanese declared Tjihapit to trunks, they wore very strange white loincloths. As be a boys’camp and my mother, sisters and little they entered the water one by one, the Europeans brother were forced to go to a women’s camp and ordered their children with icy calm to leave the leave me behind. My mother tried to convince them pool. In no time at all, the Japanese had conquered that I was a year younger than my age so that I could the entire pool without a single word of command. stay with her, but the Japanese weren’t fooled. With

Aanspraak - Maart 2014 - 8 about four hundred other boys aged ten or over, so I was taken to one of the men’s dormitories. I stayed behind. The last thing I remember seeing as My kit had been stolen so they gave me a mattress, my mother was driven away was her hand pressed and a spoon, fork and enamel plate. against the glass of the bus. There’s not much you can do against the force From a young age I was often absorbed in thought of nature, but when you’re the victim of such a and I was used to distancing myself from my degrading assault, you can hardly believe that emotions rather than showing them. Women who another person could inflict something so terrible showed their emotions were despised, so it was on you. It is hard to understand but as a victim you better to exercise control. When the mothers and feel so ashamed for what has been done to you and sons said goodbye, the silence was as oppressive as you don’t dare tell anyone. So no one knew what a funeral. I scarcely understood at the time what it had happened to me either. After a couple of days must have meant for my mother. I could just about manage to stand up but then I got a swift and debilitating attack of beriberi. It was We were divided between ten houses, with forty very frightening because my legs and stomach kept boys to a house and one woman to manage each swelling up and I was soon twice my weight because house and keep order. It was impossible for one of water retention. This time they did find a place for person to keep so many teenagers in line and a new me in the sick bay, where the doctor gave me a daily pecking order was established. It felt very unsafe dose of yeast with vitamin B1 to reduce the fluid in until the new order had been accepted. The only my body. Dutch men in the camp were one or two doctors. I was put to work in the garden, which was called Almost drowned ‘patjollen’, but I had practically no strength left I lay in the sick bay for three months. Two religious because of the lack of food. I suffered from water brothers gave the sick boys lessons, but in secret retention in my legs and stomach as a result of because any form of education was strictly vitamin B1 deficiency and I had open wounds that forbidden. One boy would keep watch in case the wouldn’t heal. I was in such a weakened state due guards came. One of the brothers gave French to beriberi that I was given the job of assistant nurse. lessons, and the other was a wonderful story-teller. On the steps of the medical building, I smeared But one day we got caught and the punishment was ointment – or plantain leaves when the ointment was appalling. Together with three other boys and the finished - on the boys’ wounds, and bandaged them. two brothers, I was thrown into a water hole that was too deep to stand in. After a while I couldn’t keep The men’s camp treading water any longer. I desperately tried to hold In April 1945 our whole camp was transferred to the on to one of the brothers but was soon swallowing men’s camp ‘The 15th battalion’. We had to make too much water. I thought “This is it!”, and I lost the arduous journey there on foot and my kit box consciousness. I could still feel the fear when I woke was much too heavy. The camp was already full up in the sick bay. The brothers stayed close to us to capacity, and when we arrived it appeared they but they never gave us lessons again. I was very hadn’t known we were coming. Most of them would fond of them. Beyond that, I felt very alone. It was have been happy to see the back of us, although dog eat dog. some of the boys were reunited with their fathers. The liberation that wasn’t I was totally exhausted when we arrived in the ’15th The end of the war was never officially announced bat’, and I collapsed onto my kit box. A Dutch man in our camp. There were only rumours that we took me under his wing and I heard him say that he were about to be liberated. All we noticed was would take me to a safe place. When we were away that there was a slight change in the attitude of the from the rest, he abused me sexually. Hours later Japanese, and that some of the prisoners started I was found unconscious by a couple of the men. going out of the camp to see what roads they could They took me to the sick bay but that was full, discover apart from the usual paths. But that was

Aanspraak - Maart 2014 - 9 also dangerous because of the Indonesian freedom from the north’. But what I notice is that we “East fighters for whom we were now the target. In an Indians” still find it difficult to talk about the war. isolated place, I came across a Japanese soldier who had committed suicide by stabbing himself in the What can I still do? stomach. Although I had seen many corpses, the way In the beginning I kept my memories of the war he had chosen to kill himself shocked me. Tjihapit to myself. It wasn’t until I was sixty that I met my had now become a large prisoner of war camp and second wife Reina at a local meeting of the Dutch I heard from a Dutchman who had just arrived that labour party in Groningen. We hit it off immediately. my father was there too. He took me to him, but our A couple of months later we ran into each other reunion was a great disappointment. I looked at the by chance in the foyer of the city theatre and I afflicted and broken man before me and thought found the courage to ask her on a date. This time, I ´This can’t be my father´. We embraced each other learned to talk about my feelings. She was open and rather woodenly but we hardly spoke. interested and didn’t put me under any pressure, so that I slowly began to tell her about what I had gone Impossible to talk about through in the camp. That did me a lot of good and My mother and the others were in the women’s changed my life. The war had taught me not to feel. camp in Adek. I can’t describe how good it was For a long time, I was incapable of admiring people to see them again, but we were too exhausted for or enjoying things. Thanks to her, I learned to open celebration. We never told each other about what myself up to new ideas. we had gone through in the camps. Our arrival in the It was a lovely surprise to find that Reina already had Netherlands on the S.S. Bossevain in May 1946, was two children. In fact, it was in watching our oldest very disappointing. The Netherlands turned out to grandchildren grow up that I was able to fully enjoy be a very flat country in every sense of the word, with real happiness for the first time in my life. I am more uncouth and superficial people. The main reason for interested in the future now than in the past. Many such bitter disappointment was the fact that I was of my contemporaries think that at eighty, I am too unable to find enjoyment in anything at all. My first much of an activist and enthusiast. I think I can get wife was not talkative, and neither was I. And that more out of looking to the future and being actively wasn´t only because of the post-war zeitgeist with involved in politics. It is important to look back and its attitude of “Let’s all just get back to work”, but remember, but you mustn’t let it take over your life. also because of the shame you felt about a period in For me, it is more of a reason to see what I can still which you had suffered so much humiliation. Since it do to help others. was set up fifteen years ago, I have always attended the annual meeting or “kumpulan” with the ‘boys Interview and recent photos: Ellen Lock

Aanspraak - Maart 2014 - 10 Applying for a reassessment of your periodic benefit or extraordinary pension

In 2013 many Dutch pension funds reduced extraordinary pension in connection with a reduction their pension amounts. More pension funds are in your pension. In addition to your name and to follow suit this year. However, some pension address, please make sure you put the date and your funds have now announced that they will be signature on your application. keeping pensions at least at the same rate this year, or even increasing them again slightly. After we receive your application letter, we will ask for details of your current income and personal If your pension fund reduces your pension in 2014, situation. As soon as we receive these details we the information below may be useful for you. will make a new calculation. If our calculation shows If your pension fund reduces the amount of your that your periodic benefit or extraordinary pension pension, you may be entitled to an increase in your can be increased by more than 1% of your base periodic benefit (Wuv or Wubo) or your extraordinary amount, we will carry out a reassessment. If the pension (Wbp, Wbpzo or Wiv). This will only be the 1% threshold is not reached, your application will case if your periodic benefit or extraordinary pension have to be rejected. In addition to a reduction can be increased by more than 1% of your base in your pension, reductions in other sources of amount. For the minimum base amount, this will income may also constitute grounds for reassessing work out at more than € 20 per month. An increase in your periodic benefit or extraordinary pension. the supplementary allowance under Article 19 of the All reassessments are subject to the same rules. Wubo or in the Wuv payment for non-measurable disability costs is not possible because these are If you have any questions fixed amounts and therefore not dependent on the If you wish to know whether it would be worth your amount of your income. while to apply for a reassessment, or if you would like more information on the processing of applications, If you wish to be considered for an increase in your please get in touch with the relevant team for your income-related periodic benefit or extraordinary periodic benefit or extraordinary pension. The pension, you will have to apply for a reassessment direct telephone number is shown on the payment when your pension fund reduces the amount of your notification for January. pension. If your pension is reduced, for example, in the month of April, you must submit your application You can also reach us by calling our general in that month because the reassessment takes effect telephone number, +31-71 535 6500, by sending on the first day of the month in which the application an email to [email protected], or by writing to SVB, was made. V&O Department, PO Box 9575, 2300 RB Leiden.

How to apply for a reassessment You must submit your application in writing. In your letter, you must state that you are applying for a reassessment of your periodic benefit or your

Aanspraak - Maart 2014 - 11 How my father’s war

became my war

Wim Engels tells of his father’s role in the railway line. He kept on fishing and keeping watch resistance and of how he was betrayed and taken because the Germans kept the railway under guard. away to Oranjehotel prison. Wim was strongly The next day, it appeared that the rails between affected not only by his own sense of loss but also Hoek van Holland and had been blown by the way the Nazi camps broke his father’s spirit. up. When I heard that, I understood that the hole After his return, his father took his suffering out I had dug had been used for dynamite. on his son. It wasn’t long before someone betrayed the Memories of the ceiling group. On Saturday 30 November 1940 my father’s My father worked in the Wilton Fijenoord shipyard colleagues told us that he had been arrested at in Schiedam. My parents already had a two-year old work. A German soldier and a Dutch policeman daughter Dien when I was born on 30 January 1935. came and searched our house, and took all our My father was always at work. One time during the papers and photo albums away with them. The mobilization he came home in his military uniform German found a letter in the chest pocket of my and started sparring with me. His braces caught on father’s Sunday suit in the wardrobe, and he pulled the bar of the gas stove, knocking off a large pan it out triumphantly. He was very disappointed when of soup which bounced on the ground and flung he realized it was just a shop receipt. vermicelli onto the ceiling. The stain it left on the ceiling always reminded me of our pretend fight. Completely on my own After my father was arrested, I was the man of Father’s time in the Geuzen resistance the house and I felt responsible for my mother Along with several of his colleagues from the and sister. My mother didn’t get any money from shipyard, my father joined the resistance group the shipyard so she had to go out to work. Our ‘De Geuzen’, founded by Bernard IJzerdraad. After existence became a struggle. We needed to find the Netherlands capitulated, the Wilton Fijenoord wood to burn and food to eat. We depended on shipyard was taken over by the occupying forces neighbours, food coupons and hand-outs. Once a and De Geuzen tried to sabotage much of its work. week, my sister was able to eat with a butcher’s One night, for example, they stole a small Dutch family, so she sometimes ate meat. If she was sick, submarine, but because of the danger of mines, I could go instead. Otherwise there were only flower they sank it in a canal off the Nieuwe Waterweg. bulbs or sugar beet. My mother hid her emotions My father rowed out to it in a small boat to tie a and we were always expected to be brave. We were basket over the periscope because it would be three separate individuals living parallel lives. visible at low tide. I felt completely on my own.

As a young boy, I was never actually told about any Because my father was a “crook”, I wasn’t allowed of this but my father always took me with him as a to play with the other boys, who also beat me up. cover. I would sit on the back of his bicycle as he If I came home crying, my mother would say “I’ll give cut his way through telephone cables on one of the you something to cry about! There!” and she dykes. Once we went fishing together and I had would hit me too. to dig a hole with my hands under the rails of the

Aanspraak - Maart 2014 - 12 My father wrote us many letters from Buchenwald times, I was expelled from school altogether. and Lublin, but as they were in German, our next- When I was fifteen, my second sister, Els, was born door neighbour translated them for us. My mother and I always took care of her. I wore my father’s managed to send his boots to Buchenwald with a old suit and looked older than I was, so everyone photograph of the three of us hidden inside. He thought she was my daughter. carried that photo with him attached to his belt and it gave him strength and courage. After a while, we I had always wanted to be a pilot so I sat the stopped hearing from him. entrance exam for an aviation school and was accepted. To my huge dismay, my family Father’s return circumstances prevented me from taking up their It wasn’t until November 1945 that we heard from a offer because it was too expensive. My parents had neighbour who had a telephone that my father was decided that my sister and her husband, who were going to arrive by train at Maas station in Rotterdam. expecting a child, should live with us because there We went to pick him up and were shocked to see was a shortage of housing. I saw my future go up in that he looked like an old man. After he was arrested smoke; instead of training to be a pilot I had to start he had been taken to Oranjehotel prison. After that, work straightaway in a factory that paid 16 guilders he had been held at the Nazi camps at Buchenwald, for 48 hours work. Of this, I was allowed to keep Lublin, Auschwitz, Melk and Ebensee. After the 2.50 guilders as pocket money. liberation, he was so weakened by malnutrition, hard labour and maltreatment that he weighed Two years later I met my future wife Titia and only 37 kilos, and the Americans who liberated his her friend at the entrance to the Juliana park in camp sent him to Switzerland to recuperate. When Schiedam where I was walking with my little sister. he arrived home, he was still not well. He never lost I had two extra entrance tickets so I invited them the numbness in his right leg that was the result in with us. The park was always beautifully lit in the of a wasting disease he had caught. evening and we enjoyed chatting to each other. A few days later I told my family that I had a Everyone in the street brought us flowers, but there girlfriend. My father wasn’t pleased because I was was not much left of the father we had known. still only 15. He wanted me to break it off and He could get annoyed or fly into a temper easily, shouted at me “She’s much too young!” My answer especially with me. I was often ignored or subjected was “She’ll get older”. Luckily I was right, because to psychological abuse. After a boyish prank, this we got married on 15 January 1959 and we’ve been man, who knew better than anyone else what it was together now for 62 years. My wife came from a like to be hungry, would send me to bed without warm family, and it was difficult for her to see how food. Everything I said was crushed immediately by my parents treated me. both my father and my mother. It felt as though after he was arrested, the kind father I had known had My father’s war abandoned me. He was there in body, but he was no In 1948, my father applied for and was awarded longer there for me as a father. At home, everything a pension for a former member of the resistance revolved around him and he had to be cared for. from the 1940-1945 Foundation. At that time there We had to be quiet so that he could rest. The first wasn’t any post-war care as there was later, and time we sat down to eat together again, he said applicants had to write their own story of the war. “I wouldn’t have gone through all that if there was It was very difficult for my father to put everything he a God, so there’ll be no more praying here.” had gone through down on paper, so I helped him. He stared into space as he told the sombre story of My future went up in smoke how hard the work was that he had had to carry out At secondary school, I refused to go to my German in the Nazi camps, of how often he was punished classes. German was an obligatory subject at the and what horrific things he had seen. On the death time, so after having been reprimanded several marches he walked through the snow from camp to

Aanspraak - Maart 2014 - 13 camp in his bare feet. When they sent my father a On the advice of our family doctor and a man who commemorative cross for his work in the resistance, had been in the camp with my father, I started going he swore heavily, spat on it, wiped it on the seat of to therapy sessions at Centre ’45, accompanied by his pants and flung it against the wall. Then he sent my wife. For seven years, we attended group therapy it back. Once during an argument, he threatened sessions with people who had been in the resistance. me with a knife, but he never actually touched me. The other members of the group recognized that He would throw everything at the wall, though, and children might suffer second-hand, but we didn’t one time he pulled all the coats off the coat stand, get further than that. It was not until years later, ripping them in the process. His health always after a series of heart attacks, that I was sent to see remained weak and he died on 16 September 1971. a cardiologist at the Dijkzicht hospital in Rotterdam, and the psychoanalyst there asked me why I thought Struggling with the past this was happening to me. For the first time, I felt Even though my father was no longer alive, the that someone was really listening to me. He wanted memories of him and our arguments drove me into to see me more often, and I could phone him depression. The war began for me when my father whenever I wanted. The talks I had with him saved returned from the camps. The combination of hard me and have made me into who I am today. work, sleeplessness and bottling it all up eventually took its toll. In March 1977, I was unable to carry on The Resistance was hardly the boy scouts and I doing my job as a control engineer. At night I was believe now that men who had children should never restless in bed and would talk in my sleep. It wasn’t have taken part in it. When my father got involved he easy for my wife to live with me. I would smoke a was thirty-five, with a family and two children. He had packet of strong rolling tobacco by day and drink no idea how damaging the effect would be on his a bottle of Dutch gin by night. Then I had my first whole family. Certainly now that I’m a father myself, heart attack, sitting on the edge of the bed with a I think it might have been better if those who were half-smoked cigarette in my mouth. We lived on the married had kept their heads down. third floor of a building in Schiedam. I would often think “Maybe it would be better if I was lying on the Interview and recent photos: Ellen Lock ground down there instead”. We were at our wits’ end, so I promised then that I would still be there for her and that we would both be there to take care of our young daughter, José.

Aanspraak - Maart 2014 - 14 Questions and Answers

I have a few questions for which I would prefer not mean that your V&O payments will automatically to speak to someone personally. Can I come to be paid into the new account as well. your office? It is always possible for clients in the Netherlands I am about to start a course of psychotherapy. to speak to one of our officers in person. If you do Will the costs for this be reimbursed by my come to our office, however, you will need to make Dutch health insurance or by you? an appointment first so that we can consult your In the Netherlands, psychotherapy is included in file in advance. We can then take your personal the basic health insurance package. You will have circumstances into account when answering your to pay the first € 360 yourself as this represents the questions. If it is too far for you to come to the SVB amount of the excess/deductible. You can claim office in Leiden, you can arrange for someone from reimbursement for the excess/deductible from us our department (Former Members of the Resistance under the following conditions: and Victims of War; V&O) to see you at one of the • We have sent you a decision for psychotherapy; other SVB offices in the Netherlands. if you have not had a decision, you can apply to us for a reimbursement for psychotherapy providing As the child of a victim of war, could I be entitled you have already been recognized as a victim of to a benefit? persecution, civilian war victim or former member That will depend on your own wartime experiences of the resistance. and how these have affected your health. If you were • You avail yourself of the arrangements offered born after the liberation or transfer of sovereignty to under your health insurance. Indonesia, only expenses incurred for psychotherapy It is important that you go to your doctor first. Your may be claimed under the Tvp scheme (Temporary doctor can give you the treatment you need or refer psychotherapy reimbursement scheme for the post- you to a specialist. war generation). For more information about this, you can speak to one of our staff on telephone Payment dates for 2014 number +31-71 535 6888. Below is a list of the dates on which payments will be remitted. Pensions under the Extraordinary Pension What should I do if I want to have my benefit Act (WBP) are paid via Stichting 1940-1945 (the 1940- paid into a different bank account? 1945 Foundation). It may take a few days before the If you would like your payments under any of the payment is credited to your account, depending on Dutch schemes for former members of the resistance your bank. and victims of war to be paid into a different bank account, please let us know in plenty of time by 15 January 15 May 15 September writing to V&O Department, PO Box 9575, 2300 RB 14 February 16 June 15 October Leiden. You should enclose a copy of a document 14 March 15 July 14 November showing the new account number, so that we can be 15 April 15 August 15 December sure we have the correct number and name of the account holder. NB: if you notify the SVB of a change If you have any questions, please call the number of bank account for your AOW pension, this does stated on the payment notification.

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