Rob Checks His List Twice
Total Page:16
File Type:pdf, Size:1020Kb
The Undergraduate Magazine Vol. V, No. 10 | January 24, 2005 House of Pain Turn Over for Sex Cosmetic Conformity My Old Friend John Lauren laments the onerous housing Thuy and Roz double up on your Anna predicts the downfall of mankind James provides a trio of reviews to application favorite subject one surgery at a time guide your listening pleasure Page 3 Page 8 Page 5 Page 7 YOU’RE NEXT, BITCH MARIAN LEE MID SEASON REPORT CARD CUDDLE ’N’ Rob checks his list twice COLLAGE ANDREW PEDERSON | BRUT FORCE ROB FORMAN | MY 13-INCH BOX WHEN I LEFT PHILADELPHIA EVERY SO OFTEN I find Desperate Housewives: Clearly the shock of the season. for Winter Break, I was hoping for myself questioning whether For some unprecedented reason—read a sense of humor— a pleasant change in climate. At I am, in fact, in a waking Desperate Housewives has managed to gain critical acclaim home in Nevada, winter usually dream. You see, I have an while being a primetime soap-opera. The witty women on means something like forty five de- acquired taste. You might Wisteria Lane have already won a Golden Globe for Best grees, 20% humidity and clear skies. even call it obscure, cultist, Comedy Series, and Teri Hatcher won for Best Lead Actress This time, however, the weather and unpopular. After all, I in a Comedy Series. Oh, and the show is the biggest new gods granted me only one week of trumpeted my love of Angel show of the season, and second overall only to the original sweet, gentle desert winter before and Wonderfalls last year CSI. Get used to these ladies: they’re here to stay. unleashing some rabid El-Nino bas- only to have the Frog and Veronica Mars: This show is impossible to explain. I’ve tard child that brought with it frigid temperatures and almost the Fox deliver a one-two stopped trying. All I know is, every person I’ve ever sat in three feet of snow. double-whammy of cancellations that left me sucking my front of any episode has fallen in love despite my inability A man can only watch so much TV and shovel so much snow thumb while huddled in a pool of my own saltwater. Some to boil it down to a logline. It’s simply that good. Veronica before the limits of his sanity are severely tested. It was no sur- said it made me a bitter man. I blamed Nielsen, Vishnu, Mars has the beginnings of a cult show, and fortunately prise then, that by week number three, I was anxiously awaiting and the dwarf in my book club who steals my opinions. UPN is giving it time to find a larger cult-sized audience my return to the inexplicable but comfortably warm meteoro- Why was I doomed to love shows that seemingly no one with the full-season order. Kristen Bell is a star, plain and logical womb that has been Eastern Pennsylvania this winter. else—at least no one in the statistically polled Nielsen simple. Oh, and Alyson Hannigan is stopping by for a guest Needless to say, I spent my first week back frolicking about households—wanted to watch? And why, in the name of stint. That makes me happy. Get a clue, stop watching One in the absurd fifty and even sixty degree weather. Until, that is, all that is even partially lawfully-good, did reality shows like Tree Hill. That’s right, I know. You can’t hide from my a few days ago, when the storm I left on the West Coast finally The Swan prosper as I languished and lamented? judging eyes. caught up with me and plunged my second home into a deep The beginning of the 2004-05 television season House: I was worried about this show when the second arctic freeze. changed everything. In September, a little show called Lost aired episode bored me to tears. It was literally one of the To make matters worse, all the tedious academic and ad- premiered in a big way on Wednesdays at 8 p.m. From least impressive viewing experiences of the last year. Since ministrative chores I avoided doing over break have somehow there, everything went smoothly in a seemingly Rob-craft- that low, House has been very compelling even if I don’t formed a monstrously evil pact with the weather to break my ed television landscape, like some sort of less-interesting understand half of the dialogue. I know they’re speaking spirit. Internships, letters of recommendation, summer plans Truman Show. In my first article of the Fall 2004 semes- English, but I just can’t make out the words between the and everybody’s favorite conversation starter, “What do you ter, I listed six shows to watch and six shows to avoid. Let’s medical jargon. House was picked up for the full season, want to with that degree?” appear to be mounting above and go over the accolades and shortcomings of each. Humor as well. beyond any reasonable limits, and, coupled with the recent wave me, readers, this—all of the shows I enjoy stayed, while the Joey: The first sitcom of the season to get a full-season of atrocious weather have heralded the beginning of the dreaded shows getting axed are those I think were written by a few pickup. Episodes early in the series weren’t very good, but “Sophomore Slump.” chimps on LSD—has never happened. Ever. I want to take now that Joey has a job, and Lucy Liu is his hilarious boss, There’s no denying that it’s here, but I personally have de- a moment to bask. the show has picked up. Joey’s nephew is still the worst part cided that I will not be subsumed by this kind of mid-educational Watch of the show, but everything else clicks well… for a laugh- malaise. To that end, I have compiled the following list of activi- Lost: Until American Idol’s return last week, Lost track show. It isn’t Friends. Its ratings aren’t even close to ties that are sure to fend off the approaching gloom and restore trounced all competition in the 8 pm. Wednesday times- Friends. But Joey is the top-rated new sitcom of the season, the mental equivalent of new car smell to any weary, winter worn lot, reaching heights of over 20 million viewers each week. so it should stay around at least one more year. brain. I guarantee it. Proving there is room for two juggernauts at the same time, Jack & Bobby: Oh, the tragic story of a show on the First on the list is sex. Any kind of sex. Quickie sex, rough AI’s return barely shaved 1 million viewers from the mys- wrong network. This show would’ve worked wonders be- sex, friend sex, make up sex, oral sex… so long as there’s orgasm, tery-thriller-adventure. Lost is ABC’s biggest Wednesday Continued on PAGE 7 Continued on PAGE 5 show in a decade. PAGE 2 JANUARY 24, 2005 | FIRST CALL | VOL. V NO. 10 FirstCall Editorial Vol. V, No. 10 | January 24, 2005 The Undergraduate Magazine INTRODUCTION INFRACTION It seems the undergraduate divisions of departments at UPenn don’t want students in their Editor-in-Chief intro classes. This is the only conclusion that can be drawn from the widespread complaints and Robert Forman nearly ubiquitous reports about the typical “Department 101” lecture from students in all years. Editors Granted, not all departments label their introductory courses with one-oh-one. The fact remains: Andrew Pederson the University of Pennsylvania’s introductory courses are in need of serious improvement. Lauren Saul Recall the process of choosing where to apply for college, if you will. Several options are ini- tially presented, in the forms of a parent who went to the university way back when, of a recruiter Assistant Editor Anna Stetsovskaya visiting your high school, of a brochure sent to your home, of a guidance counselor suggesting a school, etc. From here the choices are narrowed by test scores, by finances, by activities, and Columnists perhaps by campus visits, overnights, tours, and information sessions. Of course, you have to Robert Forman Adam Goldstein be accepted, too. Universities across the globe do everything in their power to impress potential Julie Gremillion matriculants; there is a bevy of razzle dazzling. James Houston Sometimes the choice is clear. For instance, there is no better undergraduate business school Mickey Jou than Wharton, across almost all fields. Some students come to college knowing exactly their ma- Michael Patterson Andrew Pederson jor or concentration. A sizeable number of students remain open-minded or, dare we say, “Un- Roz Plotzker decided.” These students rely on requirement-filling classes to introduce them to subject matter Lauren Saul they, shockingly, might be interested in and might consider as a major. Anna Strongin Everyone takes some requirements, whether in Wharton, Engineering, the College, or Nurs- Writers ing. It is an inescapable fate. Students rarely take courses solely within their major or concentra- Shira Bender tion while pursuing a degree. A Biology major interested in a Linguistics course? It isn’t unheard Alexandra Chalat of. A History major taking Accounting 101 Pass/Fail (because God help them if they take it for a Christine Chen Thuy Tran grade) isn’t uncommon. Shouldn’t the point of introduction classes be to attract people to the major? Maybe even Artists “steal” bright students away from other fields, because gosh darn it, that introductory class might Stephanie Craven just make me want to dedicate my life to researching Communications? It can’t be all fun and Shira Bender Marian Lee games—we are here to learn—but classes don’t have to be, and let’s face it they shouldn’t be, any of the following adjectives: boring, painful, insomnia-curing.