Moving Traditions inspires people to live fuller lives – and to work for a Rosh Hodesh: It’s a Girl Thing! better world for all – by advocating for a more expansive view of gender in © 2013 by Moving Traditions Jewish learning and practice. Teens in our programs apply a gender lens All Rights Reserved. and Jewish values to the challenges in their everyday lives. By asking No part of this book may be reproduced or “What does it mean to be a woman?” and “What does it mean to be a transmitted in any form or by any means, man?” we champion an educational approach connecting teens’ character electronic or mechanical, including development to building a Jewish community where both women and men photocopying, recording, or by any information storage or retrieval system, experience spiritual, intellectual and moral growth. without permission in writing from Moving Traditions. Rosh Hodesh: It’s a Girl Thing! is an experiential education program for With gratitude we acknowledge the girls between the ages of 11-18 developed by a team of leading educators, numerous individuals and institutions that rabbis, social workers and psychologists. It is the first program of its kind have granted permission to reprint their to draw on Jewish teachings and traditions to keep girls healthy and whole, copyrighted material. Specific contributions instilling in them the ability to counter narrow views of gender in popular are noted on the pages where the material culture. Today, a decade after its founding, with 340 groups now meeting – appears. All illustrations marked ©JK are some of whom in their third, fourth and even fifth years – and more than © 2003 Jonathan Kremer. Used by 1,000 women trained as group leaders, the program has touched the lives permission. All Rights Reserved. of more than 12,000 girls across North America. For more information about Moving Traditions and Rosh Hodesh: It’s a Girl Thing! visit: www.movingtraditions.org

Authors National Advisory Committee Tamar Astorino Penina Adelman Barbra Berley-Mellits Arlene Agus Merle Berman Beth Cooper Benjamin, EdD Rabbi Paula Mack Drill Susan Berrin Rabbi Rachel Gartner Rabbi Nina Beth Cardin Rabbi Toby Manewith Rabbi Mychal Copeland Lauren Pokras Rabbi Paula Mack Drill Mindy Shapiro Rabbi Jackie Ellenson Aleza Summit Shira Epstein, EdD Rivkah Walton Yehudit Feinstein Marcy Garb Moving Traditions Gila Gevirtz Executive Director Blu Greenberg Deborah Meyer Lisa J. Kahn Rabbi Toby Manewith Production Assistant Sara McLelland Sarah Fox Peggy Orenstein Michelle Reimer, PhD Susan Weidman Schneider Debra Solomon Catherine Steiner-Adair, PhD

The Hadassah Foundation has provided generous support for the creation and implementation of Rosh Hodesh: It’s a Girl Thing! The statements made and views expressed herein are solely those of Moving Traditions.

In the Ruach Year... …participants return to the comfortable, accepting place that they have begun to cherish. They continue to look inward and learn more about themselves and then share so that they can learn more about each other. The gatherings allow for more time for discussion as the girls are now capable of deeper conversations because of both their maturity and level of trust within the group. The group leader trusts her instincts in approaching the gathering plan in a way that she knows will both challenge and excite the girls. ROSH H.ODESH: IT’S A GIRL THING! Themes at a Glance y Opening Month Reconnecting—Rosh H. odesh and Us This year, Opening Month is devoted to re-establishing the group, its rituals and guidelines. If new members are entering, the warm-up and small group activities help integrate them into the group. A creative exercise of composing “infomercials” for Rosh H. odesh helps review the learning and experiences of last year and generate excitement for this one. Cool Rules—Take Two: Brainstorming group guidelines for the year Girl Thing! Group Games: Ice breakers and group builders RoHo-mercials: Small group activity creating short “infomercials” about Rosh H. odesh Closing: Decorating the Rosh H. odesh Cloth and/or using the candle ritual to look ahead

y Tishrey Imagining God In Tishrey Ruach, we use the High Holy Day liturgy as a springboard to explore and reflect upon classical and contemporary images of God, striving to develop personal metaphors for and ways to connect with God. We then turn our thoughts to our human relationships, drawing on the concept of teshuvah as an inspiration for seeking and granting forgiveness. Imagining God: Small- and full-group discussions of classical, contemporary, and personal imagery Forgiving and Being Forgiven: Contemplating reconciliation Closing: Forgiving each other and/or letting go of misdeeds

y H.eshvan Comrades—Not Competitors In H. eshvan Ruach, we use the story of Rachel and Leah and an excerpt from a contemporary magazine article to explore the theme of jealousy. We make and exchange friendship pins as affirmations of positive connections among girls. Comrades or Competitors: Exploring female relationships— Rachel, Leah, and us Creating Connections: Making and exchanging friendship pins Closing: Reciting the traditional “Prayer for the New Month”

2 Themes at a Glance y Kislev Money: Madness or Mitzvot In Kislev Ruach, we acknowledge the lure of consumerism and examine the practice of gift-giving at H. anukkah. Participants explore their personal values regarding materialism and status and become familiar with Jewish teachings on money and tzedakah. To encourage creativity and generosity of spirit, the girls brainstorm meaningful acts of kindness and create IOU coupons to give to friends and family. Consumerism: Group discussion on the impact of advertising messages Money Matters: Small groups read and respond to Jewish teachings on money and charity Maimonides’ Ladder: Team activity and discussion of tzedakah Gifts from the Heart: Craft project, designing IOU coupons for non-material gifts Closing: Filling out individual Appreciation Candle forms and lighting floating candles

y Tevet Our Inheritance, Our Legacy In Tevet Ruach, we use the fact that the 10th of Tevet is Yom Hakadish Haklali—a day to remember those whose date of death is unknown— to explore the spiritual legacies we have inherited from our matriarchal ancestors and those we wish to leave to future generations. Opening and Warm-Up: Tracing our matrilineage Family History and Legacy: Group sharing about our names and personal role models from our families Personal Legacy and Ethical Wills: Personal reflection and writing about core values Closing: Read and interpret “Reb Zusya’s Tale” and recite the traditional “Prayer for the New Month”

y Shevat Nurturing Nature and Ourselves In Shevat Ruach, we explore participants’ roles as guardians and protectors of the earth and themselves. Participants are challenged to reflect upon and commit to behaviors that are respectful of nature and their own spiritual well being. Shomrot Adamah (Guardians of the Earth): Creating a personalized contract Shomrot Neshamah (Guardians of Our Souls): Discussion and commitment to caring for oneself Measuring Myself: Reflecting on personal midot Midot & Me: Making midot cards Closing: Reciting poem and the traditional “Prayer for the New Month”

3 Themes at a Glance y Adar I Choosing to Stand In Adar I Ruach, we draw on the experiences of Esther, Vashti, and Dinah to discuss a range of appropriate empowerment strategies. The girls also receive self-defense instruction. Standing Up for Ourselves: Discussion of Esther, Vashti, and Dinah Getting What We Want: Exercise in persuasion Choosing to Stand: Self-defense instruction with a guest presenter Closing: Saying “No!” and reciting the traditional “Prayer for the New Month”

y Adar II Purim: Courage and Community In Adar II Ruach, we explore the Jewish obligation of tikun olam (repair of the world) using the customs of Purim as prototypes for our communal responsibilities to stand up to injustice, share our good fortune, and strive to improve the world. Mitzvot and Meaning: Discussion of Purim’s lessons on caring and sharing Jewish Community: Decorating the Rosh H. odesh Cloth with year-round holiday tzedakah ideas Purim Mitzvot: Donating matanot le’evyonim (gifts to the poor) Purim Presents: Making mishloah. manot (food for friends) and gift containers Closing: Tikun olam teaching and ritual, and reciting the traditional “Prayer for the New Month”

y Nisan A Girls’ Seder In Nisan Ruach, we explore ways of making seders more engaging and experience a women’s seder that highlights women’s roles in the Exodus and the need for liberating all women to live at their full potential. Participants are encouraged to replicate portions of the group experience in their families’ observance. Hagadot of Our Own: Paired discussion and design of seder innovations A Girls’ Seder: Conducting a seder with enhanced focus on female roles and perspectives, including participants’ innovations

4 Themes at a Glance y Iyar Teen Stress? Oh, Yes! In Iyar Ruach we acknowledge the stress teens experience and examine the negative impact of unmanaged stress. Participants are guided to identify stress-reduction strategies from their own experiences and from Jewish practice. They learn and try out several stress-management techniques. Teen Stress and Its Effects: Small-group brainstorming; full-group discussion Stress Busters: Brainstorming solutions and practicing “no stress self-talk” Mania and Massage: Stress-reduction activities Torah Tips for Stress Reduction: Reflection and discussion Closing: Chanting Elohay Neshamah or Shema and reciting the traditional “Prayer for the New Month”

y Sivan Caring Communication In Sivan Ruach, we explore the complexity of daughter-parent relation- ships and expectations. Participants learn and practice communication and conflict-management techniques that are applicable to all relationships, emphasizing respectful sharing and problem solving. The Fifth Commandment: Discussion of Kavod Av Ve’em (Honoring One’s Parents) Saying What You Mean Without Being Mean: Effective communication techniques Creating Shalom in the Home: Making a Shalom Bayit box Closing: Sharing boxes and reciting the traditional “Prayer for the New Month”

y Closing Month Siyum: Celebrating Completion and Continuation In this Closing Month, we participate in a siyum, a Jewish closing celebration held upon completion of text study or writing a Torah scroll. We draw on its traditional features of reflection, anticipation, and celebration, with an added component—appreciation. Seeing Endings as Beginnings: Explanation of the siyum ritual Repetition and Remembering: Discussion of learning this year and yet to come Letters of Affirmation: Self-reflection and feedback from others Grounding Ourselves: Rock-art craft project Se’udat Mitzvah Party: Closing celebration Closing: Collaborative Rosh H. odesh poem and reciting the traditional “Prayer for the New Month” or singing/playing Debbie Friedman’s “Kadish D’Rabanan”

5 Themes at a Glance

Opening Month Reconnecting—Rosh H. odesh and Us At a Glance This year, Opening Month is devoted to re-establishing the group, its rituals and guidelines. If new members are entering, the warm-up and small group activities help integrate them into the group. A creative exercise of review the learning and composing “infomercials” for Rosh H.odesh helps experiences of last year and generate excitement for this one.

GOALS ACTIVITIES • To get re-acquanted and, if • Opening and Warm-Up applicable, introduce new girls • Cool Rules—Take Two to the group Brainstorming group • To re-establish Group guidelines for the year Guidelines • Girl Thing! Group Games • To review the purpose of your Ice breakers and group Rosh H. odesh group builders • To re-examine participants’ • Closing roles and explore leadership Decorating the Rosh H. odesh opportunities Cloth and/or using the candle • To re-establish the rhythms ritual to look ahead and rituals of the group

2 Opening Month Ruach: Year 2 Opening Month Reconnecting—Rosh H. odesh and Us Before the Gathering PREPARE ASSEMBLE MATERIALS Special for This Month Special Supplies y Review “Creative Prayer for for This Month the New Month” which can y (optional) Cloth, plastic be heard on the It’s a Girl drop cloth, and fabric Sing! CD accompanying the markers or paints for Group Leader’s Manual. new Rosh H. odesh Cloth y Decide on the Group Games y (optional for groups with new you will use. (See Facilitator’s members) Name tags Resource B.) y Supplies needed for the Every Month games you have chosen y Read all materials. (list here): y ______Secure an appropriate ______gathering location. ______y Send a reminder card Stock Supplies or email, with date, time, y location, and, if necessary, Rosh H. odesh Cloth (and fabric directions. markers if part of your ritual) y y Arrange for appropriate meal Rosh H. odesh candle(s), or snacks. candleholder(s), matches y Group Guidelines poster COPY HANDOUTS y Kippot (if group members One copy per participant: choose to wear them when y eating or learning) Essence of Rosh H. odesh y Music and player to use during y Creative Prayer for the craft or writing activities New Month y Pens and pencils REVIEW y Water-based fine point FACILITATOR’S RESOURCES markers y y Establishing Group Guidelines Scissors y y Girl Thing! Group Games Snacks and utensils

3 Opening Month Ruach: Year 2 Opening Month Facilitator’s Resource A Establishing Group Guidelines

Establishing ground rules or group guidelines is critical to the success of the group. At times, the casual environment, the sensitive nature of some of the material, and the high energy of teenage girls can make it challenging to keep the girls focused and respectful of the group process and each other. Referring to the agreed-upon rules has proven extremely helpful. One group renamed the guidelines “Guidelines for Group Integrity.” Another group called them “Cool Rules,” and when the group leader needed to redirect behavior, she simply said, “CR!” or “Be Cool!” Be sure to bring the Group Guidelines Poster each month. Over time, the group climate might evolve and guidelines need to be changed. It might be a good idea to revisit the list as a group to assess if the ground rules are working midyear. SAMPLE GUIDELINES Be respectful: • No putdowns (jokes at others’ expense, judging comments, etc.). • No interruptions. • Speak one at a time. • Listen.

Keep confidentiality: • What we say here stays here. • Talk about issues, not people. Don’t use names. • Share what you have learned, not what someone said.

Share leadership.

Limit tangents.

Have fun, and know when to get serious!

4 Opening Month Ruach: Year 2 Opening Month Facilitator’s Resource B

For more group games to use for ice breakers and 1. MEETING AND MOVING team building, please go to the Supplies needed: CD or MP-3 player and dance music group leaders’ web Put on a popular dance song appropriate for your group. site (www.roshhodesh. org/groupleader) Instruct the girls to mill around (or dance/walk) silently while the for a great collec- music plays. tion of ideas. When the music stops, ask the girls to introduce themselves to a person close by and take turns answering the question that you propose. Our Group Games Use “get acquainted” questions tailored to your group, such as: section on the web site is a live document! • What is your favorite place to get ice cream and what do you order? We’ve gathered past group leaders’ favorites, • If someone gave you a free vacation to anywhere, where would you please send us yours! choose to go? • What is your pet peeve? • What is your favorite item of clothing? • Name a movie you saw this summer and offer a review of it. • What class in school do you think you will like the most this year? • Name something in your room that tells about you. • What would be the “theme song” of your summer? Repeat the process until they have each had a turn with every person in the group. 2. THE CIRCLE GAME Have the girls sit in two concentric circles with those in the inner circle facing those in the outer circle. (If you have an odd number of girls, the group leader should play, too.) Give each person one minute to tell her partner as much about herself as possible. After two minutes, ask the outer circle to “rotate” so that everyone has a new partner. Encourage everyone to share something different with this new partner. Continue playing until everyone has had a turn to be with each person in the circle. If time allows, feature one girl at a time and ask the rest of the group to contribute one thing they learned about her today.

continued

5 Opening Month Ruach: Year 2 3. TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE Girls take turns telling the group three statements that are “two truths and a lie” about themselves, without identifying to the group which statement is a lie. For example, “I was born in Indiana, I won the 4th grade spelling bee, and I’m terribly afraid of heights.” The group must guess which of the statements is a lie. 4. GUESS YOUR PARTNER This activity works well to break the group into pairs for an activity. Supplies needed: note card and pen or pencil for each girl. Give each girl a note card and pen or pencil. Invite the girls to list three of their favorite things to do on the note card. Ask them to also draw a picture (stick figure is fine) or a symbol that represents their interests. Collect the cards and put them in a deck. One at a time, have each girl pick a card and try to guess who her partner is.

6 Opening Month Ruach: Year 2 Opening Month Reconnecting—Rosh H. odesh and Us Gathering Plan Gather

Welcome the girls as they sit around the Rosh H. odesh Cloth. If there are new participants, ask everyone to introduce themselves. Let the group know that there will be a chance later in the session to get to know each other a little better. Distribute the “Creative Prayer for the New Month,” review the words, and lead the group in singing or reciting the blessing as the host girl lights the Rosh H. odesh candle. Ask for a volunteer to recite the appropriate food blessing. (See Blessings sheet in binder pocket.) Beginning with the leader and proceeding around the room, answer the question: “One thing I enjoyed about my summer was….” Explain that today’s gathering is an opportunity to reconnect as a group, (if appropriate) begin to integrate new members, and have some fun around Rosh H. odesh themes.

Cool Rules – Take Two Ask for a volunteer recorder. Briefly brainstorm “cool rules” for the year. (See Facilitator’s Resource A.) Refer to last year’s Group Guidelines if necessary. Ask a volunteer to type or rewrite the list neatly by next meeting, so that you can laminate it and use it as a poster throughout the year.

Girl Thing! Group Games Facilitate one or two group games to use as an ice breaker and/or team building activities, chosen from the Facilitator’s Resource, group leaders’ web site, or your own experience. If time allows, invite someone from the group to teach their favorite ice breaker.

7 Opening Month Ruach: Year 2 RoHo-mercials Ask girls to imagine that they are asked to prepare and conduct a presentation to a group of girls who might be interested in joining a Rosh H. odesh group. Divide into three groups. Ask each group to create a one-minute “infomercial.” Assign one of the following topics to each: 1. Explain what Rosh H. odesh is and why it’s a women’s holiday. 2. Describe activities and topics discussed in your group. 3. Summarize what you enjoy about participation in your Rosh H. odesh group. Encourage the small groups to develop key ideas first, and then be creative in the format of their presentation. Allow the opportunity to prepare, present, and process in order to generate recommitment to the group and individual growth. BRING IT HOME Allow time for discussion of “housekeeping” for the upcoming year including: • host girl responsibilities, • calendar of meeting dates and assigning hosts, • special events (for example, a parent-daughter gathering or community event), • updated e-mail addresses and contact information, • any other administrative details.

Embellish the group’s Rosh H. odesh Cloth or begin a new one. Leave time for the girls to help clean up. and/or- Conduct the group’s closing candle ritual, giving each girl an opportunity to share: One thing I am look forward to during Rosh H. odesh this year is…. Thank the girls for their participation and let them know you will be following up with next month’s Host Girl during the month.

8 Opening Month Ruach: Year 2 STILL TO DO! 1 Enter notes on this gathering on the Monthly Log. 2 Determine the next month’s topic and activities by reading through the gathering plan or creating something in response to group needs. Be sure to check the Before the Gathering sheet for any: • special preparations, such as arranging for a guest presenter or purchasing materials; • special space requirements, such as for a craft project or movement activity; or • reminders to the girls, such as bringing something to the meeting. 3 At least three weeks before the next meeting: • Call all the girls who volunteered to host throughout the year to confirm dates and, if necessary, obtain directions. Let them know that you will contact them again closer to their hosting dates. • Call the host family/institutional sponsor to reconfirm date, time, and any special requirements, as indicated in next month’s Before the Gathering. • Make food arrangements in keeping with kashrut and allergy concerns. (Check next month’s Essence Sheet for suggested foods.) • Speak with the designated host girl to explore appropriate leadership opportunities, from sharing responsibility for confirming attendance to selecting a topic or facilitating an activity. • Send reminders to the girls, adding any instructions concerning special preparations or things to bring. 4 One to two weeks before the next meeting: • Once the meeting dates and hosts are confirmed, fill out the clean copy of the Save the Date! sheet neatly. Similarly, create a clean, alphabetical copy of the Contact List. For the group, make sufficient copies of these two lists, along with the Photo Release Form, (all found on the group leader website, www.roshhodesh.org/ groupleader), and mail them to the group members and their parents. • Remind the volunteer who is making the Group Guidelines poster to bring it to the meeting. • Call each of the girls to remind her of the meeting, sharing this task with the host girl if appropriate.

9 Opening Month Ruach: Year 2 ROSH H.ODESH: IT’S A GIRL THING! Monthly Log Form Facilitator(s):______

Gathering Plan Themes (if different from printed Gathering Plan): ______

The “host girl” was ______and she participated by: Year: 20______Opening Month ______Ruach: Year 2 ______

Topics/activities that worked well: ______

Topics/activities that worked poorly: ______

Topics or ideas for future gatherings: ______

Personal or group dynamics issues that arose in the group: ______

Carry-over ideas and tasks for next month (or this month next year): ______

Groups and partners that were assigned (track so that dynamics can be mixed up at each gathering): ______

10 Opening Month Ruach: Year 2 ROSH H.ODESH: IT’S A GIRL THING! Opening Month CREATIVE PRAYER

“Creative Praye”r is excerpted from Marcia Falk’s The Book of Blessings: New Jewish Prayers for Daily Life, Yehi ratzon sheyith.adesh aleynu h.odesh ______. . . . the Sabbath, and the May the month of ______be a month of blessings: blessings of New Moon Festival (Harper, 1996; Beacon, goodness, blessings of joy, peace and kindness, friendship and love. 1999). © 1996 Marcia Lee Falk. Used by per- — Marcia Falk, Book of Blessings mission of the author. © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. 11 Opening Month Ruach: Year 2

Tishrey Imagining God At a Glance In Tishrey Ruach, we use the High Holy Day liturgy as a springboard to explore and reflect upon classical and contemporary images of God, striving to develop personal metaphors for and ways to connect with God. We then turn our thoughts to our human relationships, drawing on the concept of TESHUVAH as an inspiration for seeking and granting forgiveness.

GOALS ACTIVITIES • To familiarize participants • Opening and Warm-Up with classical and contem- • Imagining God porary images of God Small- and full-group • To encourage each participant discussions of classical, to identify a concept of God contemporary, and that is meaningful to her personal imagery • To familiarize the girls with • Forgiving and the process of teshuvah: Being Forgiven self-reflection, repentance, Contemplating reconciliation and repair • Closing • To encourage a willingness Forgiving each other and/or to judge others favorably letting go of misdeeds and to grant forgiveness

2 Tishrey Ruach: Year 2 Tishrey Imagining God Before the Gathering PREPARE COPY HANDOUTS Special for This Month One copy per participant: y Review “Creative Prayer for y Essence of Tishrey the New Month” which can y God Images be heard on the It’s a Girl One copy, on card stock and cut; Sing! CD accompanying this or on paper, cut and pasted Sourcebook.) onto index cards y Review a High Holy Day y God Thoughts cards mah. zor (prayerbook) for examples of prayers that present masculine images ASSEMBLE MATERIALS of God. For example see: Special Supplies y • Avinu Malkeynu (literally, Mah.zor (High Holy Day Our Father, Our King) found prayerbook) throughout the High Holy Day liturgy, For Optional Closing y Large bowl • Hameleh. (literally, The King, y Who sits upon a high and Small Oriental-style rice lofty throne) found at the crackers (thin, with smooth end of the Psalms of Praise hard surface, approximately section of the High Holy Day 2" diameter) morning service, y Fine-tipped permanent • Malh. uyot (literally, Kingdom) markers (such as Sharpie®) found in the Aleynu for Rosh Stock Supplies Hashanah musaf (additional y Rosh Hodesh Cloth (and fabric afternoon service). . markers if part of your ritual) y Decide which closing ritual(s) y Rosh Hodesh candle(s), to use. . candleholder(s), matches Every Month y y Group Guidelines poster Read all materials. y y Kippot (if group members Secure an appropriate choose to wear them when gathering location. eating or learning) y Send a reminder card y Music and player to use during or email, with date, time, craft or writing activities location, and, if necessary, y directions. Pens and pencils y y Arrange for appropriate meal Water-based fine point or snacks. markers y Scissors y Snacks and utensils

3 Tishrey Ruach: Year 2 Tishrey Imagining God Gathering Plan GATHER Beruh.ot Haba’ot: Coming Together, Creating Sacred Space Welcome girls to the meeting for Rosh H. odesh Tishrey as they sit around the Rosh H. odesh Cloth. If applicable, process “Bring It Home” suggestions from the previous month. Distribute an Essence of Tishrey handout to each participant. Review words of the “Creative Prayer for the New Month” and lead the group in singing or reciting the blessing as the host girl lights the Rosh H. odesh candle. Invite the girls to identify the connection between the snacks and the themes of the months. Compare their responses to the “Food” section on the Essence handout. Ask for a volunteer to recite the appropriate food blessing (see Blessings sheet in binder pocket). Explain that before discussing the month and proceeding with the meeting, you would like to take a moment to learn a little bit about each other. Beginning with the facilitator and proceeding around the room, introduce yourself and complete the sentence: When I think of God I think of…. At the conclusion, note the similarities and/or range of responses and affirm the girls’ contributions. EXPLORE Nah.alateynu, Koloteynu: Our Inheritance, Our Voices Imagining God To begin a discussion about images of God in prayer, distribute the God Images handout. Ask the girls to take turns reading the prayer selections aloud. Facilitator’s Tip Ask: What is your reaction to the various images of God presented in Classical images of these prayers? God may resonate with some girls; Are any of these prayers familiar to you? Do you know their melodies? others might find How does it feel to sing these prayers each year? them difficult to relate to. Be sure What similarities and differences do you notice in the various prayers? to validate all responses. Which best match your own understanding of God? Which most move or inspire you? .

4 Tishrey Ruach: Year 2 Point out that Jewish tradition embraces the type of critical analysis and discussion of a diversity of opinions in which we are currently engaged. It is reflected in the talmudic tradition of debating and presenting contrasting viewpoints and interpretations. This approval It is important for each individual to find a con- is also implied in the name “Yisrael.” cept of God that Ask: Does anyone know the meaning of the name “Yisrael”? is meaningful to her. Prayers can affect us It is interpreted to mean “Those who struggle with God.” on many levels. The Punctuate your discussion with the Life Lessons in the sidebar. familiarity of the words and the melodies of the prayers may be moving God Thoughts to us, whether or not we Divide the group into three subgroups, giving each group one connect to the literal God Thoughts card. meaning of the words. Invite the members of each subgroup to read their card aloud and Judaism encompasses a range of viewpoints, discuss the question. all of which should be After approximately ten minutes, gather the girls back into one group. celebrated in our group. Ask the members of each subgroup to read their question and share some of their responses. Conclude this part of the discussion by highlighting the Life Lessons in the sidebar. REFLECT Nidrosh: Seeking Meaning

The important thing Forgiving and Being Forgiven is not how these ques- Point out that in addition to calling upon us to think about God, the High tions are answered, but Holy Days focus our attention on our relationships with other people and that we engage the practice of teshuvah, which literally means “turning.” in a lifelong process of developing our Solicit from the girls what they know about teshuvah. Summarize own views about and a definition that includes that true teshuvah requires that we: connections to God. • admit the mistakes we made in the past year, both in relation Jewish teachings, to other people and in relation to God, teachers, and peers can guide and support us in • find ways to address them with others and with God, and this process. • resolve never to repeat these mistakes. Point out that our tradition teaches that if we do true teshuvah, our transgressions are washed away and we are given a fresh start. The process gives us an opportunity to be freed from guilt, conflict, and unnecessary pain. Point out that the central lesson of Yom Kippur is that people can change. It is our responsibility to figure out how to make change in ourselves and to accept change in others. Invite each girl to sit comfortably with eyes closed and to take a quiet moment to think of an important relationship in her life that she would like to see improved.

5 Tishrey Ruach: Year 2 Read the following slowly, allowing time for each question to be explored mentally: Think about how the relationship you have in mind feels for you: Do you feel hurt, angry, bitter, sad, a sense of longing? Perhaps a combination? Think about what purposes your feelings serve: Do they keep you and the other person apart? Do they keep you from having to own your part in the conflict? Do they keep you feeling superior? Feeling needful? Feeling safe? Consider your own role in that relationship’s difficulties. Did you have a part in creating the problem? Are you holding a grudge? Are you being judgmental? During Elul, there is a custom of asking others for forgiveness for any hurts we may have inflicted. Imagine what it would be like to ask forgiveness for your part—without any blame or expectation of shared responsibility. What would be a good time or place to do it? What would be the best way to ask? How might it feel to ask for forgiveness? You may also believe that the other person has contributed to the difficulties between you. Imagine forgiving the person you are thinking about—letting go of the ill-feelings in that relationship, whether or not you’ve been asked. This can be a big leap. Forgiveness is not a moral judgment about right and wrong; forgiveness frees the On the High Holy Days, we are encouraged to: one who is hurt—allowing you to let go, change, and grow. How does it feel to imagine forgiving this person? • examine our behav- iors, accept responsi- Ask the girls to open their eyes, and, when ready, share what they imagined. bility for our limitations and mistakes, and Ask the group to summarize the personal challenges that are inspired set about making by the High Holy Days. Process these responses, highlighting the Life things right; Lessons in the sidebar…as needed. • upon completing the steps of teshu- BRING IT HOME vah, forgive ourselves and allow ourselves Leh.teyh Vadereh.: Take It With You to start anew; Suggest that the participants follow up actively with the relationships that • look for the good in others and believe they identified in this exercise. Using the principles of teshuvah, directly that they can change; acknowledge your part in any problems between you, apologize, and and ask how you can work together to make things right. • grant forgiveness to others, just as we BEFORE YOU LEAVE seek it for ourselves. Allow girls to add new designs, reflecting themes of the month, to the Rosh H. odesh Cloth (optional). Clean up after yourselves. Confirm next meeting place and time.

6 Tishrey Ruach: Year 2 CLOSE Beruh.a At Betzeyteyh.: Blessings as You Go on Your Way Point out that usually we (will) close with the traditional prayer for the new month, but that Rosh Hashanah supersedes Rosh H. odesh, so instead we will each either …circulate, taking a moment with each group member to ask and give forgiveness for any wrongdoing, saying, “Please forgive me for any wrong Facilitator’s I may have done you, whether I intended it or not,” and responding, Tip “I forgive you completely.” If possible, after the gathering, sprinkle and/or the crumbs in a …reflect silently on one or two behaviors that you regret or want to garden or compost pile, so that “even change from the past year. Continuing in silence, write them on a rice our mistakes can cracker using a permanent fine-tip marker. Holding the cracker, imagine bear fruit.” Let the constructive ways to “right” this “wrong.” When you have a clear girls know of your picture and can commit to making the change, crumble the cracker intent. into a ceremonial bowl placed in the middle. . STILL TO DO! 1 Enter notes on this gathering in the Monthly Log. 2 Determine the next month’s topic and activities by reading through the Sourcebook options or creating something in response to group needs. Be sure to check the Before the Gathering sheet for any: • special preparations, such as arranging for a guest presenter or purchasing materials; • special space requirements, such as for a craft project or movement activity; or • reminders to the girls, such as bringing something to the meeting. 3 At least three weeks before the next meeting: • Call all the girls who volunteered to host throughout the year to confirm dates and, if necessary, obtain directions. Let them know that you will contact them again closer to their hosting dates. • Call the host family/institutional sponsor to reconfirm date, time, and any special requirements, as indicated in next month’s Before the Gathering. • Make food arrangements in keeping with kashrut and allergy concerns. (Check next month’s Essence Sheet for suggested foods.) • Speak with the designated host girl to explore appropriate leadership opportunities, from sharing responsibility for confirming attendance to selecting a topic or facilitating an activity. • Send reminders to the girls, adding any instructions concerning special preparations or things to bring.

7 Tishrey Ruach: Year 2 ROSH H.ODESH: IT’S A GIRL THING! Monthly Log Form Facilitator(s):______

Gathering Plan Themes (if different from printed Gathering Plan): ______

The “host girl” was ______and she participated by: Year: 20______Tishrey ______Ruach: Year 2 ______

Topics/activities that worked well: ______

Topics/activities that worked poorly: ______

Topics or ideas for future gatherings: ______

Personal or group dynamics issues that arose in the group: ______

Carry-over ideas and tasks for next month (or this month next year): ______

Groups and partners that were assigned (track so that dynamics can be mixed up at each gathering): ______

8 Tishrey Ruach: Year 2 ROSH H.ODESH: IT’S A GIRL THING! Essence of Tishrey

Traditionally, Rosh H. odesh is not observed in Tishrey because Rosh Hashanah, on the first of Tishrey, is considered more important. Tishrey marks the beginning of the solar year on the Jewish calendar, but it is the seventh month in the Jewish lunar cycle, which begins with Nisan. Mazal (constellation): Libra, moznayim (a pair of scales), symbolizing scales of justice. The four main holidays of Tishrey correspond to the four phases of the moon1: Rosh Hashanah New Moon Creation of the world, shofar, remembrance Yom Kippur Waxing Moon Teshuvah (repentance and personal change) Sukkot Full Moon Rejoicing in the harvest Life’s fragility Shemini Atzeret and Simchat Torah Waning Moon Praying for fall rains Rejoicing in the Torah

Tishrey Foods There are many delicious—and unusual—food customs for Rosh Hashanah. Many families have the custom of eating a new food or a seasonal food that they have not eaten in the past year. In addition to eating apples and challah dipped in honey to symbolize our wish for a sweet new year, many foods are eaten as simanim (good omens) for the coming year, such as pomegranates—with the wish that in the coming year, we will be as full of good deeds as the pomegranate is full of seeds. “Beet our enemies”? “Gourd us from harm”? CREATIVE PRAYER Have fun making good-wish puns on the names of fall fruits and vegetables! FOR THE NEW MONTH "Creative Prayer" is excerpted from Marcia Falk's The Book of ìְ Blessings: New Jewish Prayersהי éִי רצוֹן שׁûֶיּìִתüְחëַדּשׁ עôָלïֵינוּ חֹדשׁ תּüִשׁûְרי.... Yehi ratzon sheyith.adesh aleynu h.odesh Tishrey…. for Daily Life, the Sabbath, and May the month of Tishrey be a month of blessings: blessings of the New Moon Festival (Harper, 1996; Beacon, 1999). goodness, blessings of joy, peace and kindness, friendship and love. © 1996 Marcia Lee Falk. Used by permission of the author. © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. © 2001-2008 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2008 reserved. Moving Traditions. 9 Tishrey Ruach: Year 2 Tishrey God Images God Images HIGH HOLY DAY AND FESTIVAL PRAYER Attributes of God Translation by Joel Rosenberg, Kol Haneshamah: Prayerbook for the Days Adonay adonay el rahum vehanun ereh apayim verav hesed ve’emet of Awe (Elkins Park, PA: . . . . The Reconstructionist notzer h.esed la’alafim nosey avon vafesha veh.ata’ah venakey. Press, 1999), 800, 815- Adonay,* adonay, God, loving and gracious, patient, and abundant in 16. ©1999 The Reconstruc-tionist kindness and truth, keeping kindness for a thousand ages, forgiving sin Press. Used by and rebellion and transgression, making pure! permission. All rights reserved. HIGH HOLY DAY PRAYERS

Avinu malkeynu h.oneynu va’aneynu ki-ayn banu ma’asim. * “Adonay/LORD” is used here in place Our Father, Our King, be gracious to us and answer us, for our deeds are of the unspoken inadequate. four-letter name of God, referred to as “ha-Shem” in tradi- tional Jewish circles. Hameleh. yoshev al kisey ram venisa. Recently, some have The King sits on an exalted throne. adopted the custom of using “Yah,” the name of God that is incorporated into the Adonay meleh. adonay malah. adonay yimloh. le’olam va’ed. phrase Hallelu-yah (Praise God). The LORD* now reigns! The LORD has always reigned! The LORD shall always reign!

We are Your sheep, and You are our Shepherd. We are Your vineyard, and You are our Keeper. We are Your creation, and You are our Fashioner. We are Your loved ones, and You are our Beloved. We are Your faithful, and You are our Source of Faith. —Excerpted from traditional Ki Anu Ameh.a, in the High Holy Day Amidah. (Emphasis added.) © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. 10 Tishrey Ruach: Year 2 CONTEMPORARY PRAYERS

1. Excerpt from contem- Blessed is the One who spoke and the world came into being. porary interpretation of Baruh. She’amar Blessed is the One. (Blessed is He Who Spoke) found in morning Blessed is the One who in the beginning gave birth. liturgy, composed by Blessed is the One who nourishes those who are in awe of Her. Naomi Janowitz and Margaret Moers Wenig. Blessed is the One who lives forever and exists eternally.1 (Emphasis added.) Kol Haneshamah: Shabbat Veh.agim (Elkins ______Park, PA: The Recon- ______structionist Press, 1996), ______177. ©1996 The ______Reconstructionist Press. ______Used by permission. All rights reserved. Mi Shebeyrah. avoteynu, Mekor Haberah.a l’imoteynu 2. Excerpt from the May the Source of Strength who blessed the ones before us, song “Mi Shebeirach” Help us find the courage to make our lives a blessing from And You Shall be a 2 Blessing. Music by And let us say, Amen. Debbie Friedman, Lyrics by Debbie Friedman and Drorah Setel. (Emphasis added.) Mi Shebeyrah. avoteynu ©1988 Deborah Lynn The One Who Blessed our fathers (traditional term) Friedman (ASCAP). Published by Sounds Write Productions, Inc. (ASCAP). Used by Mekor Haberaha l’imoteynu permission. All rights . reserved. Source of Blessing upon our mothers OOOOO

H. ey Ha’olamim Life of all the worlds (One of many rabbinic terms for God)

Ruah. Ha’olam Spirit of the world

Eyn Hah. ayim Source of life © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. 11 Tishrey Ruach: Year 2 God Thoughts Cards

Tishrey Ruach: Year 2

What is one question about God that you want answered?

TTishrey Ruach: Year 2

Describe an event that makes you doubt there is a God.

Tishrey Ruach: Year 2 © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. 12 Tishrey Ruach: Year 2

H.eshvan Comrades—Not Competitors At a Glance

In H.eshvan Ruach, we use the story of Rachel and Leah and an excerpt from a contemporary magazine article to explore the theme of jealousy. We make and exchange friendship pins as affirmations of positive connections among girls.

GOALS ACTIVITIES • To familiarize participants • Opening and Warm-Up with the complex dynamic • Comrades or Competitors between the biblical figures Exploring female Rachel and Leah relationships—Rachel, • To engender critical thinking Leah, and us about jealousy, how we • Creating Connections handle it, and what we Making and exchanging can learn from it friendship pins • To foster a sense of • Closing camaraderie and sisterhood Sharing and reciting the among participants as a traditional “Prayer counter to competition for the New Month” and jealousy

2 H.eshvan Ruach: Year 2 H.eshvan Comrades—Not Competitors Before the Gathering PREPARE ASSEMBLE MATERIALS Special for This Month Special Supplies y Send reminder asking the One for each participant: girls to bring in a copy of y Pen their favorite song. y Index card Every Month Two for each participant: y Read all materials. y Supplies to make y Secure an appropriate friendship pins: Medium- gathering location. y sized safety pins and Send a reminder card colored beads that can be or email, with date, time, placed on pins (Many arts location, and, if necessary, supply and/or toy stores directions. sell “friendship pin” kits) y Arrange for appropriate meal One for the group: or snacks. y Bag to serve as grab bag COPY HANDOUTS for friendship pins Stock Supplies One copy per participant: y y Rosh H.odesh Cloth (and Essence of H. eshvan fabric markers if part of y The Story of Rachel your ritual) and Leah in the Torah y Rosh H.odesh candle(s), One copy, on card stock and cut; candleholder(s), matches or on paper, cut and pasted y Group Guidelines poster onto index cards: y y Kippot (if group members Taming Envy cards choose to wear them when eating or learning) y Music and player to use during craft or writing activities y Pens and pencils y Water-based fine point markers y Scissors y Snacks and utensils

3 H.eshvan Ruach: Year 2 H.eshvan Comrades—Not Competitors Gathering Plan GATHER Beruh.ot Haba’ot: Coming Together, Creating Sacred Space Welcome girls to the meeting for Rosh H. odesh H. eshvan as they sit around the Rosh H. odesh Cloth. If applicable, process “Bring It Home” suggestions from the previous month. Distribute an Essence of H. eshvan handout to each participant. Review words of the “Creative Prayer for the New Month” and lead the group in singing or reciting the blessing as the host girl lights the Rosh H. odesh candle. Point out that this month is known as “mar H. eshvan” (bitter H. eshvan) because it has no holidays; therefore, it has no specific foods associated with it. Kosher, healthy, and tasty snacks will have to do this month! Ask for a volunteer to recite the appropriate food blessing. (See Blessings sheet in binder pocket.) Explain that before discussing the month and proceeding with the meeting, you would like to take a moment to learn a little bit about each other. Beginning with the leader and proceeding around the room, introduce yourself and respond to the following: Name something that makes you feel jealous. At the conclusion, note the similarities and/or range of responses and affirm the girls’ contributions. EXPLORE Nah.alateynu, Koloteynu: Our Inheritance, Our Voices Comrades or Competitors: Exploring Female Relationships—Rachel, Leah, and Us Review the Essence Sheet, highlighting the connection between H. eshvan and Rachel Imeynu described in “Fabulous Females.” Distribute index cards and the handout The Story of Rachel and Leah. Have participants take turns reading aloud paragraphs from the story. Ask everyone to write on their card one word that describes the relationship between Rachel and Leah. Then have everyone hold up her card; point out themes that emerge. Jealousy and competition are likely themes and will be the focus of the discussion. Ask: Why are Rachel and Leah competitive and jealous of one another? What makes women and girls jealous and competitive with each other today?

4 H.eshvan Ruach: Year 2 Distribute Taming Envy cards, explaining that cards 1-6 are from an article in O: The Oprah Magazine. Instruct those holding Cards 1 and 2 to read them aloud. Ask: Do you agree with this quote? Have you ever felt envious or jealous of a girlfriend or sibling?

Facilitator’s How did you feel when you were with that person? Tip How did you feel about feeling envious? If confusion arises, Has anyone expressed feelings of envy toward you? you can clarify that envy and jealousy Instruct those holding Card 3 to read it aloud. Then solicit reactions, are very close, but personal reflections, etc. different in mean- ing. According to Repeat with Cards 4, 5, and 6, soliciting reactions to each. the Random House Dictionary, “Envy Before having Cards 7 and 8 read, acknowledge these two as offering some denotes a longing to Jewish thinking on this topic. After each of these two cards are read, ask: possess something awarded or achieved What do these sayings mean? by another. Jealousy denotes a feeling Do you agree or disagree? Why? of resentment that Ask the group to identify healthy attitudes and coping strategies for another has gained G something more dealing with envy. rightfully yours.” Throughout the discussion, be sure to highlight the Life Lessons in the sidebar. Point out that appreciating our own gifts can improve our attitude toward others. Challenge each girl to take a moment to consider three things about herself and her life for which she is grateful. Have the girls write these appreciations on the back of their index cards to share at closing, following the craft activity.

Although we may feel ashamed by our envy, it CREATE is a normal part of life. Ma’aseh Yadeynu: The Works of Our Hands Examining our envy can teach us something Creating Connections: about ourselves. Making and Exchanging Friendship Pins Envy can motivate us Point out that since we are best able to resist jealousy when we when we focus on those things that we can remember what we love in ourselves and what we love about one change and on what another, we are now going to make friendship pins. gives us personal satis- Tell the group that each girl should make two pins using any combination faction. of colors she likes. The first pin will become part of a “Friendship Chain,” Often, what we envy we a chain of pins that the group will add to the Rosh Hodesh Cloth to also admire, and that . awareness can help us symbolize the connections formed in the group. The second pin will go act generously toward into a grab bag, so that each person will have one. This way we show our those whom we envy. appreciation for the group as a whole and for one another as individuals. When we feel good Hand out the pins and beads. Play background music—ideally, the about ourselves, we are selections that the girls brought in. When the girls are finished making not so threatened by the success of others. their two pins, assemble the “Friendship Chain,” using one pin from each girl, linking them together to form a chain.

5 H.eshvan Ruach: Year 2 Instruct the girls to put their second pins in the grab bag. Then have each girl pick a pin out of the grab bag to take home. (If someone happens to grab her own pin, have her exchange it for another one.) BRING IT HOME Leh.teyh. Vadereh.: Take It With You Encourage the girls to begin the practice of keeping a “gratitude journal,” in which they regularly record the things in life for which they are grateful. Doing so promotes a positive focus and can be read for encouragement Facilitator’s Tip when feeling particularly down or discouraged. If responses do not reflect personal CLOSING RITUAL appreciations of self, acknowledge Beruh.a At Betzeyteyh.: Blessings as You Go on Your Way that we often feel Ask each girl to share one of the things she is grateful for in herself uncomfortable and G are unable to value or her life that she wrote on her index card. ourselves, especially and in public. Let the girls know Recite the traditional “Prayer for the New Month.” that there will be opportunities to focus on valuing STILL TO DO! ourselves in future 1 Enter notes on this gathering in the Monthly Log. months. 2 Determine the next month’s topic and activities by reading through the Sourcebook options or creating something in response to group needs. Be sure to check the Before the Gathering sheet for any: • special preparations, such as arranging for a guest presenter or purchasing materials; • special space requirements, such as for a craft project or movement activity; or • reminders to the girls, such as bringing something to the meeting. 3 At least three weeks before the next meeting: • Call all the girls who volunteered to host throughout the year to confirm dates and, if necessary, obtain directions. Let them know that you will contact them again closer to their hosting dates. • Call the host family/institutional sponsor to reconfirm date, time, and any special requirements, as indicated in next month’s Before the Gathering. • Make food arrangements in keeping with kashrut and allergy concerns. (Check next month’s Essence Sheet for suggested foods.) • Speak with the designated host girl to explore appropriate leadership opportunities, from sharing responsibility for confirming attendance to selecting a topic or facilitating an activity. • Send reminders to the girls, adding any instructions concerning special preparations or things to bring.

6 H.eshvan Ruach: Year 2 ROSH H.ODESH: IT’S A GIRL THING! Monthly Log Form Facilitator(s):______

Gathering Plan Themes (if different from printed Gathering Plan): ______

The “host girl” was ______and she participated by: Year: 20______H.eshvan ______Spirit: Year 2 ______

Topics/activities that worked well: ______

Topics/activities that worked poorly: ______

Topics or ideas for future gatherings: ______

Personal or group dynamics issues that arose in the group: ______

Carry-over ideas and tasks for next month (or this month next year): ______

Groups and partners that were assigned (track so that dynamics can be mixed up at each gathering): ______

7 H.eshvan Ruach: Year 2 ROSH H.ODESH: IT’S A GIRL THING! Essence of H.eshvan

H. eshvan contains the yahrzeits of many important women in Jewish history, including Rachel Imeynu (our foremother). Rachel, along with her sister, Leah, and their handmaidens, Bilhah and Zilpah, gave birth to the twelve sons who were to become the fathers of the twelve tribes of Israel. Rachel was deeply loved by her husband, but Rachel was barren for many years. Ultimately, through her courage and persistence, she gave birth to Joseph. Sadly, she died in childbirth with her second son, Benjamin.

ìְהי Tradition tells us that Rachel died on the 11th of H. eshvan and was buried in Kever Rah.el (Rachel’s Tomb)*, outside of Bethlehem. There her spirit is said to weep for all of us, her children. Some women make pilgrimages to Rachel’s tomb to say special prayers for fertility and childbearing. Our foremother Rachel is remembered for her compassion, perseverance, and devotion. Book Book of Blessings éִי רצוֹן שׁ שׁ ûֶיּ Just as nature begins to hibernate in ìִת Heshvan, it’s a quiet time for us to turn

. endship and love. üְח inward to reap the spiritual benefits of * the preceding month,Tishrey. H. eshvan is often referred to as mar —Marcia Falk, —Marcia Falk, eshvan….

Heshvan . ëַדּשׁ ע bitter H. eshvan,” because“ , .

ôָל the month contains no holy days and because it often coincides with the

arrival of colder, wet weather. odesh H .

H. eshvan is the eighth of the twelve months of the Jewish lunar calendar. ïֵינוּ חֹדשׁ ח ח eshvan eshvan be a month of blessings: blessings of . adesh adesh aleynu h ëֶשׁ . ûְו 9101112 1234567 èָן.... 8 Scorpio, akrav (the scorpion) goodness, blessings of joy, goodness, peace blessings and of kindness, joy, fri May May the month of H Yehi ratzon sheyith Yehi CREATIVE PRAYER FOR THE NEW MONTH (Harper, The Book of 1996 Marcia Lee Falk. Used by permission of the author. "Creative Prayer" is excerpted from Marcia Falk's Blessings: New Jewish Prayers for Daily Life, the Sabbath, and the New Moon Festival 1996; Beacon, 1999). © © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. © 2001-2008 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2008 reserved. Moving Traditions. 8 H.eshvan Ruach: Year 2 THE STORY OF RACHEL AND LEAH IN THE TORAH

Adapted Excerpts from Rachel approached the well with her father’s Adapted from Tanakh: Genesis 29–30 and The Holy Scriptures, flock, for she was a shepherdess. When Jacob 1988 The Jewish 35:16–20 © saw Rachel…he rolled the stone off the mouth Publication Society, with the permission of the of the well, and watered the flock.…Then Jacob * “Weak” eyes: The kissed Rachel and broke into tears. Jacob told Rachel that he was her exact meaning of the father’s kinsman, that he was Rebecca’s son, and she ran and told her Hebrew is unknown. father, Laban… Now Laban had two daughters; the name of the older one was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. Now Leah had weak eyes*, but Rachel was beautiful. Jacob loved Rachel… So Jacob served Laban seven years for Rachel, and they seemed to him but a few days because of his love for her. After seven years, Laban gathered all the people of the place and made a feast. When evening came, he tricked Jacob and took his daughter Leah to him. By daylight, Jacob realized that it had been Leah under the wedding veil. He complained to Laban. Laban responded: “It is not our custom to marry off the younger before the older.” So Jacob then married Rachel in exchange for seven more years of labor. Rachel was childless, but God saw that Leah was unloved and opened her womb. Leah bore four boys, naming them Reuben, Simeon, Levi, and Judah. With each successive birth, each mother gave her child a name that expressed her fulfillment as a mother and her competition with her sister for their shared husband’s love. Rachel gave Jacob her handmaiden Bilhah to bear him children in her name (as was the custom in those days). Bilhah bore two children, whom Rachel named Dan and Naphtali. Leah then gave Jacob her handmaiden Zilpah, who bore him children in Leah’s name, whom Leah called Gad and Asher. Once, at the time of the wheat harvest, Reuben came upon some mandrakes (plants that were thought to promote fertility) and brought them to his mother, Leah. Rachel said to Leah, “Please give me some of your son’s mandrakes.” But Leah replied, “Was it not enough for you to take away my husband? Now you would also take my son’s mandrakes?!” But she traded the mandrakes for the right to sleep with Jacob that night. Leah conceived, and named this son Issachar. Leah conceived yet again and named her sixth son Zebulun. Finally, she bore one daughter, and named her Dinah. Then, at long last, Rachel conceived and bore a son, whom she named Adapted from Tanakh: Joseph. The Holy Scriptures, Years later, Rachel died while giving birth to her second son, Benjamin. ©1988 The Jewish Publication Society, with the permission of the publisher, The Jewish Publication Society. © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. 9 H.eshvan Ruach: Year 2 There’s a secret we women never want to admit: we envy other women. Perfect example: my friend Risa, a biologist... When a young scientist won the top prize in Risa’s field, she TAMING ENVY told me, “Not only is the woman talented, but she’s... beautiful!” Months later, a magazine ran a picture of the biologist—and the woman had put on a ton of weight. Card 1 “...we just laughed,” Risa told me. “I know—it’s awful. But laughing made me feel better.” You might think that Risa is petty, vindictive and so insecure that she would use others’ weight problems to bolster her own ego. But Risa is one of the kindest people I know. Still, her reaction shows how deeply the roots of envy can reach within all of us. eshvan eshvan 2 Spirit: Year . From “Taming Envy,” published by O, The Oprah Magazine, October 2000. ©2000, by Veronica Chambers. Reprinted by permission of Veronica Chambers. All rights reserved. H

We resent the envied and wish her ill— TAMING ENVY and on top of that, Card 2 we’re embarrassed by the way we feel.... It’s often the people closest to us whom we envy with the greatest degree of shame. eshvan eshvan 2 Spirit: Year From “Taming Envy,” published by O, The Oprah Magazine, October 2000. ©2000, by Veronica Chambers. Reprinted by permission of Veronica Chambers. All rights reserved. . How do you put aside this kind of envy? I’ve learned that sometimes you just have to move on. I simply won’t allow myself to feel envious about some things. I’ll never be six feet tall or have straight hair TAMING ENVY and green eyes. If I find myself envying someone because of her biology, Card 3 I throw the sentiment right into a kind of mental waste bin labeled GET OVER IT. I’m not saying that I don’t have that initial pulse of envy coursing through my brain— I do. But this kind of envy is a waste of time. eshvan eshvan 2 Spirit: Year H From “Taming Envy,” published by O, The Oprah Magazine, October 2000. ©2000, by Veronica Chambers. Reprinted by permission of Veronica Chambers. All rights reserved. . When I examine my envy, I often discover that it’s not about the other person—it’s about me and what I feel my life TAMING ENVY is lacking. Envy is information, and holding my envy up to Card 4 the light is like looking through a microscope at my heart. It shows me what my secret desires are. And I can use that knowledge to become the person I want to be. eshvan eshvan 2 Spirit: Year H . From “Taming Envy,” published by O, The Oprah Magazine, October 2000. ©2000, by Veronica Chambers. Reprinted by permission of Veronica Chambers. All rights reserved. H © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. 10 H.eshvan Ruach: Year 2 Over the years, I’ve been both envied and the envier. And what I’ve discovered is that, first, pretending envy doesn’t exist won’t make it go away. Second, when you stand up to TAMING ENVY your envy and look it in the eye without flinching, it can tell you powerful things about Card 5 your own heart—what you want, what you must work harder to change—and what, ultimately, you’ve just got to let go . . . . And [you] can use that knowledge to become the person [you] want to be. eshvan eshvan 2 Spirit: Year . From “Taming Envy,” published by O, The Oprah Magazine, October 2000. © 2000, by Veronica Chambers. Reprinted by permission of Veronica Chambers. All rights reserved. H I can either be a baby about my envy or I can peel it down to a layer of admiration and act accordingly. . . . TAMING ENVY Even if I can only act in a gracious manner, then the act elevates my spirits. Card 6 Perhaps walking through my own envy, no matter how difficult, takes me closer to the kind of person I want to be. eshvan eshvan 2 Spirit: Year . From “Taming Envy,” published by O, The Oprah Magazine, October 2000. ©2000, by Veronica Chambers. Reprinted by permission of Veronica Chambers. All rights reserved. H

TAMING ENVY Envy Card 7 destroys contentment.

—Talmud, Baba Batra 21a eshvan 2 Spirit: Year . H

TAMING ENVY Card 8 The envy of scribes increases wisdom.

—Jewish folk saying. From Treasury of Jewish Quotations by Leo Rosten (New York: McGraw Hill, Bantam Books, 1972) eshvan eshvan 2 Spirit: Year . H © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. 11 H.eshvan Ruach: Year 2

Kislev Money: Madness or Mitzvot At a Glance In Kislev Ruach, we acknowledge the lure of consumerism and examine the practice of gift-giving at H.anukkah. Participants explore their personal values regarding materialism and status and become familiar with Jewish teachings on money and TZEDAKAH. To encourage creativity and generosity of spirit, the girls brainstorm meaningful acts of kindness and create IOU coupons to give to friends and family. GOALS ACTIVITIES • To familiarize girls with • Opening and Warm-Up the history of and values • Consumerism underlying H.anukkah Group discussion • To explore the impact on the impact of of advertising messages, advertising messages especially at this season • Money Matters • To encourage a sense of Small groups read and self-worth from within respond to Jewish teachings • To engender reflection on money and charity on Jewish values regarding • Maimonides’ Ladder money, tzedakah, and Team activity and gift-giving discussion of tzedakah • To foster generosity of spirit • Gifts from the Heart and independence from Craft project, designing IOU consumerist values coupons for non-material gifts • Closing Filling out individual Appreciation Candle forms and lighting floating candles

2 Kislev Ruach: Year 2 Kislev Money: Madness or Mitzvot Before the Gathering PREPARE ASSEMBLE MATERIALS Special for This Month Special Supplies y Secure a gathering location y Art paper, markers and/or with space for a craft project. other craft supplies for y Review all handouts. IOUs—recycled is great! y y Practice setting up and Scissors lighting floating candles y Glue or wicks. y Pyrex® bowl Every Month y Water y Read all materials. y Matches y Secure an appropriate gathering location. One for each participant, y including facilitator(s): Send a reminder card y or email, with date, time, Small floating candle, location, and, if necessary, or floating wick, and directions. vegetable or olive oil DO NOT USE “lamp oil,” y Arrange for appropriate meal which is dangerously or snacks. volatile in an open COPY HANDOUTS container. Stock Supplies $ One copy per participant: y y Rosh H.odesh Cloth (and fabric ¢ Essence of Kislev markers if part of your ritual) y Jewish Teachings y Rosh Hodesh candle(s), on Money . candleholder(s), matches y Maimonides’ Ladder y Group Guidelines poster of Tzedakah y Kippot (if group members One copy for every two choose to wear them when participants, on card stock and eating or learning) cut; or on paper, cut and pasted y onto index cards: Music and player to use during craft or writing y Appreciation Candles activities Two copies, on card stock and y Pens and pencils cut; or on paper, cut and pasted onto index cards: y Water-based fine point markers y Eight Tzedakah Cards y Scissors y Snacks and utensils

3 Kislev Ruach: Year 2 Kislev Money: Madness or Mitzvot Gathering Plan

Welcome girls to the meeting for Rosh H. odesh Kislev as they sit around the Rosh H.odesh Cloth. If applicable, process “Bring It Home” suggestions from the previous month. Distribute an Essence of Kislev handout to each participant. Review words of the “Creative Prayer for the New Month” and lead the group in singing or reciting the blessing as the host girl lights the Rosh H. odesh candle. Ask for a volunteer to recite the appropriate food blessing. (See Blessings sheet in binder pocket.) Beginning with the leader and proceeding around the room, introduce yourself and respond to this dilemma: Imagine that a flood is threatening your house and you have five minutes to evacuate. Your family and pets are safe. What is the one thing that you grab to take with you?

Consumerism Briefly highlight the Essence Sheet and indicate that the gathering will focus on H. anukkah, gift-giving and related Jewish values. Ask: How is your celebration of H. anukkah affected by its close proximity to Christmas? What are some important themes of H. anukkah that may be overshadowed by the gift-giving customs of the season? Highlight that H. anukkah wasn’t originally meant to be about gifts. The association of gift-giving with H. anukkah is primarily the result of H. anukkah coming at the same time of year as Christmas. Point out that although H. anukkah and Christmas occur at the same time of year, they commemorate very different events. Facilitator’s Tip • H. anukkah celebrates the Maccabean victory over the Syrian Greeks, Be aware that who were attempting to Hellenize them (i.e., make them more like some of your the Greeks). H. anukkah honors the courage of Jews in defending their participants and/or way of life against the far more powerful forces that were trying to their families may suppress it. celebrate Christmas— avoid exclusionary • Christmas celebrates the birth of Jesus and the origins of Christianity. assumptions or H. anukkah is a minor holy day for Jews, while Christmas is one of judgments. the two most important Christian holy days (Easter is the other). G

4 Kislev Ruach: Year 2 Note that North American culture sends us many messages that are counter to our Jewish cultural values. Throughout the year, but particularly around H. anukkah and Christmas, we are urged to embrace a level of consumerism that contradicts core religious values. Ask the girls to walk themselves mentally through a typical day and identify all the sources of societal messages (e.g., cereal boxes, radio, television, billboards, Internet ads, T-shirt logos, magazines). Have the girls identify some current popular advertisements. Ask: What messages are being sent by these ads? Who is the target of these ads? What do you think of these messages? Are teens particularly vulnerable to ads like these? Why or why not? Do they influence you? How?

Advertising attempts to link confidence and suc- cess with ownership of certain products or achieving the “right” look. Money Matters: Read and Respond While pressure to fit to Jewish Teachings on Money and Charity in can be strong, your Ask: What are some Jewish values about money and status? worth comes from the inside, not the outside. Explain that Pirkey Avot 4:1 (wisdom sayings from the Talmud) says that the answer to the question, “Who is rich?” is “One who is satisfied with his or her life.” Invite the girls to explore some other wisdom from our Facilitator’s tradition in the following exercise. G Tip Divide participants into small groups. Allow Jewishly educated participants Distribute the Jewish Teachings on Money handout, along with pen to demonstrate their and paper. Assign two or more quotations to each group, and instruct knowledge of Pirkey each group to appoint a recorder to capture their responses to the Avot and Maimonides (Rambam). discussion questions and a reporter to share them with the rest of the group. Once the groups have discussed their assigned quotations, allow each group to present the quotations and responses to the full group. Others can add comments as well.

Maimonides’ Ladder Explain that a famous twelth-century Jewish scholar, Maimonides (the Rambam) taught that giving tzedakah (charity) creates a ladder that can bring us closer to heaven. He described eight rungs on this ladder, reflecting the relative merit of how one gives tzedakah, from lowest to highest. The next activity will help the group explore these concepts. Divide the group into two teams. Give each group a set of eight cards, each card having one tzedakah example on it, and challenge them to arrange the cards from the lowest value to the highest. The first group

5 Kislev Ruach: Year 2 to finish the task presents their arrangement, explaining why they made those choices. Allow the other group to comment. Distribute the Maimonides’ Ladder of Tzedakah handout, and ask the girls to compare both groups’ solutions to Maimonides’ eight levels. Clarify any differences and explore what might underlie them. Ask the group to share any relevant tzedakah-giving experiences. Discuss how someone might feel as the recipient of tzedakah on a lower rung, rather than a higher one. How would it be different for the giver?

As Jews, we are obliged to share what we have with those in need. Not Gifts from the Heart: only are we asked to give, but to do so gra- Designing IOU Coupons ciously. Explain that in keeping with Jewish values around money and status, Our tradition recognizes we will try to think about H. anukkah gift-giving a little differently. that giving benefits the giver as much as the Ask the girls to brainstorm examples of gifts that have no material recipient. worth, but would be valued by the recipient. Challenge them to create Beware! a list of things they can do for family members or friends, rather than The more we have, buy for them. Encourage them to think of things that would be fun the more we want. or helpful, such as organizing the messiest desk drawer, providing computer services, or preparing a meal. Distribute construction paper and markers. Have each girl design several IOU Coupons that indicate what she will do or make for that person. Invite each girl to show her finished product and support acts of kindness and creativity over consumerism. BEFORE YOU LEAVE Allow girls to add new designs, reflecting themes of the month, to the Rosh H.odesh Cloth (optional). Confirm next meeting place and time. If using Tevet Bet next month, ask each girl to 1 find out the Hebrew and/or English names of their mother(s) and grandmother(s) as far back as they can, and 2 learn what they can about why they were given their names.

Appreciation Candles Explain that by lighting the h.anukiah at this time of year when days are short and nights are long, we bring light into the darkness of the season. Light cheers us and warms our hearts in the coldest of winters.

6 Kislev Ruach: Year 2 State that in closing, we will use Appreciation Candles to help us think of the sources of light and joy in our lives. Distribute Appreciation Candles and pens. Have the girls take a few minutes to fill in the blanks. Play background music. While the girls are writing, set up the bowl with floating candles or wicks. If using wicks, fill the bowl with three-fourths water and one- fourth vegetable or olive oil. (NOTE: Do not use “lamp oil,” which is dangerously volatile in an open container.) Put into the bowl one floating candle or wick per participant, including facilitator(s). Make sure the wicks do not come into direct contact with the glass bowl, as it can crack. When the girls are finished writing, have them take turns lighting wicks, sharing their responses to one of the questions on their Appreciation Candle as they do so. STILL TO DO! 1 Enter notes on this gathering in the Monthly Log. 2 Determine the next month’s topic and activities by reading through the Sourcebook options or creating something in response to group needs. Be sure to check the Before the Gathering sheet for any: • special preparations, such as arranging for a guest presenter or purchasing materials; • special space requirements, such as for a craft project or movement activity; or • reminders to the girls, such as bringing something to the meeting. 3 At least three weeks before the next meeting: • Call all the girls who volunteered to host throughout the year to confirm dates and, if necessary, obtain directions. Let them know that you will contact them again closer to their hosting dates. • Call the host family/institutional sponsor to reconfirm date, time, and any special requirements, as indicated in next month’s Before the Gathering. • Make food arrangements in keeping with kashrut and allergy concerns. (Check next month’s Essence Sheet for suggested foods.) • Speak with the designated host girl to explore appropriate leadership opportunities, from sharing responsibility for confirming attendance to selecting a topic or facilitating an activity. • Send reminders to the girls, adding any instructions concerning special preparations or things to bring.

7 Kislev Ruach: Year 2 ROSH H.ODESH: IT’S A GIRL THING! Monthly Log Form Facilitator(s):______

Gathering Plan Themes (if different from printed Gathering Plan): ______

The “host girl” was ______and she participated by: Year: 20______Kislev ______Ruach: Year 2 ______

Topics/activities that worked well: ______

Topics/activities that worked poorly: ______

Topics or ideas for future gatherings: ______

Personal or group dynamics issues that arose in the group: ______

Carry-over ideas and tasks for next month (or this month next year): ______

Groups and partners that were assigned (track so that dynamics can be mixed up at each gathering): ______

8 Kislev Ruach: Year 2 ROSH H.ODESH: IT’S A GIRL THING! Essence of Kislev

H. anukkah means “dedication.” During the second century KESHET (arching BCE, the Jews, led by the Maccabees, fought against the rainbow Sagittarius, the be Antiochus and his Selucid (Syrian Greek) army. Antiochus bow), reminding us of of the had banned Jewish religious practices, including Shabbat of our responsibilityand to and circumcision. Eventually, the Jews were victorious. and who fought guardians of theMaccabees earth, story To rededicate the Temple, they needed sacred oil to the rekindle the Temple menorah. A legend tells us that they bows of the Selucids in against found only enough oil to last one day, but miraculously of H.anukkah. the oil lasted for eight days. Thus, the Temple was rededicated. Today we celebrate H. anukkah by: ¥ Lighting the h. anukiah (the special eight- flame menorah, with a ninth shamash, or servant flame). ¥ Telling the story of Judith, the smart and beautiful woman who used her faith and wits to defeat the Assyrian army. ¥ Giving gifts to daughters, a custom of some Sefardim (Jews from Mediterranean lands) who call the end of H. anukkah the “New Moon of the Daughters.” ¥ Playing dreydel, eating chocolate H. anukkah gelt (coins), and exchanging gifts.

Kislev is the ninth of the twelve months of the Jewish lunar KISLEV FOODS calendar. Salty foods, especially salty cheeses, are traditional H. anukkah begins on the 25th of because legend has it that Kislev and ends in Tevet. This is Judith fed the enemy the only Jewish holiday that Assyrian general Holofernes spans two Jewish months! salty foods to make him thirsty for wine. As he lay in a drunken stupor, she was able to slay him, thus saving her town, which guarded Jerusalem, from siege. Because of the story of the miraculous oil, oily foods are also traditional, including latkes (fried pancakes) and sufganiot (jelly doughnuts)—a Hanukkah favorite in Israel. © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. © 2001-2008 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2008 reserved. Moving Traditions. 9 Kislev Ruach: Year 2 Kislev Money: Madness or Mitzvot Jewish Teachings on Money A person dies with one half of her or his desires fulfilled. No matter The more how much a person accumulates, his or her desire for wealth constantly TZEDAKAH, increases. As wealth is acquired, one’s tastes, social circle, and perspectives change. Peer pressure to own as much as one’s new friends have also sets in. the more Thus, regardless of the amount of wealth one has, a person will always (Kohelet Rabbah) shalom. desire to double it. Wealth, by itself, cannot bring happiness. Who is rich? One who is satisfied with his or her life. (Pirkey Avot 4:1) Hillel Q: How do these two quotations (above) support each other? Pirkey Avot II:8 What are they teaching us?

The blessing of TZEDAKAH is greater for the person who gives than for the person who receives. (Vayikra Rabah 34:10) Q: Do you agree or disagree and why?

Charity outweighs all the other MITZVOT. (Bava Batra) Q: This is a powerful principle. How would you justify this teaching?

TSUFEEL IZ UM GEZUNT Too much ain’t healthy! (Yiddish proverb) Q: What do you think this proverb means? How would you restate it in today’s language?

Even a poor person who lives on TZEDAKAH should practice TZEDAKAH. (Talmud) ? Q: Why would the Talmud instruct poor people to give from their own limited resources? Is this reasonable? Why or why not? $¢ © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. 10 Kislev Ruach: Year 2 Kislev Tzedakah Cards

Make two copies; cut them apart into eight segments. (The original is in the same order as Maimonides’ Ladder, from highest to lowest.) 1 5 TZEDAKAH TZEDAKAH

Giving spontaneously Giving money so that when you notice that a woman in India is able your local pet shelter to set up a weaving business has no chew toys for its animals

2 6 TZEDAKAH TZEDAKAH

Giving anonymously to a community fund, Giving when a friend calls even though you do not know and asks you for a donation who specifically will benefit to a good cause

3 7 TZEDAKAH TZEDAKAH

Giving when your rabbi asks you to help Cheerfully giving an anonymous congregant, knowing your a street person name will be listed on the enclosure card a dime

4 8 TZEDAKAH TZEDAKAH

Giving anonymously when the rabbi Giving a street person of your congregation asks you a dime to help a congregant —with a sneer. you know is having medical needs © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. 11 Kislev Ruach: Year 2 Kislev Maimonides’ Ladder of TZEDAKAH

Maimonides, Hilh. ot Matenot Aniyim 10.7-18 ------8------Giving in a way that helps someone to be self-supporting (such as a gift, loan, business partnership, education, or a job) ------7------Giving so that neither the giver nor the recipient knows who the other is ------6------Giving so that the giver doesn’t know who receives the money, but the recipient knows who gave the money ------5------Giving so that the recipient doesn’t know who gave the money, but the giver knows who got it ------4------Giving before being asked to do so ------3------Giving when asked to do so ------2------Giving less than one should, but being nice about it ------1------Giving less than one should and not being nice about it © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. 12 Kislev Ruach: Year 2 Kislev Appreciation Candles Copy one candle for each participant and cut.

13 Kislev © 2001-2008 Ruach: Moving Traditions. Year All rights 2 reserved. © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All rights reserved.

Tevet Our Inheritance, Our Legacy At a Glance

In Tevet Ruach, we use the fact that the 10th of Tevet is YOM HAKADISH HAKLALI—a day to remember those whose date of death is unknown—to explore the spiritual legacies we have inherited from our matriarchal ancestors and those we wish to leave to future generations. GOALS ACTIVITIES • To enhance awareness and • Opening and Warm-Up sense of connection to Tracing our matrilineage matriarchal ancestors • Family History and Legacy • To encourage the girls to Group sharing about our identify female role models names and personal role in their extended families models from our families • To validate thoughtfulness • Personal Legacy about personal spiritual and Ethical Wills values and to support Personal reection and creativity in written writing about core values expression • Closing • To encourage the girls Reading of Reb Zusya’s Tale to engage their families and reciting the traditional in conversation about “Prayer for the New Month” core values

2 Tevet Ruach: Year 2 Tevet Our Inheritance, Our Legacy Before the Gathering PREPARE Special for This Month y Send a reminder, asking girls to nd out the source of their own English/Hebrew/Yiddish names and their matrilineal descent on both parental sides. Every Month y Read all materials. y Secure an appropriate gathering location. y Send a reminder card or email, with date, time, ASSEMBLE MATERIALS location, and, if necessary, Stock Supplies directions. y y Rosh H.odesh Cloth (and Arrange for appropriate meal fabric markers if part of or snacks. your ritual) y Rosh H.odesh candle(s), candleholder(s), matches COPY HANDOUTS y Group Guidelines poster One copy per participant: y Kippot (if group members y Essence of Tevet choose to wear them when y My Thoughts on Things: eating or learning) Writing an Ethical Will y Music and player to use One copy: during craft or writing y activities Reb Zusya’s Tale y (Facilitator’s Resource) Pens and pencils y Water-based fine point markers y Scissors y Snacks and utensils REVIEW FACILITATOR’S RESOURCE y Reb Zusya’s Tale

3 Tevet Ruach: Year 2 Tevet Facilitator’s Resource REB ZUSYA’S TALE

There is a H.asidic story about Reb Zusya of Hanipol, who was weeping on his deathbed. His H.asidim were very surprised and concerned at his grief. They asked him, “You have been such a pious man, what could possibly sadden or frighten you as you prepare to be reunited with God?” Reb Zusya explained that he was afraid of the question that God would ask him when his life was over. “I am not afraid that God will judge me for not being more like Moses, for I can respond that I did not have his leadership abilities. I am not afraid that God will judge me for not being more like Solomon, for I can respond that I did not have his wisdom. But if God demands of me, ‘Why were you not more like Reb Zusya?’— then, how shall I respond?” © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. 4 Tevet Ruach: Year 2 Tevet Our Inheritance, Our Legacy Gathering Plan

Welcome participants to the meeting for Rosh H.odesh Tevet. Distribute an Essence Sheet to each participant. Review the words of the “Prayer for the New Moon” and lead the group in singing or reciting the blessing as the host girl lights the Rosh H.odesh Facilitator’s candle. Tip Ask for a volunteer to recite the appropriate food blessing. (See Blessings To begin to foster shared leadership, sheet in binder pocket.) this month initiate Introduce yourselves through your matrilineal line either in English or the practice of assigning someone Hebrew, using the Hebrew word bat for “daughter of” (e.g., I’m Mindy bat to read and model Barbara bat Rachel). Girls may trace their matrilineage from one or both her response to the parents’ sides (mother and father, or both mothers or fathers as applicable), opening question. naming both our Jewish and our non-Jewish ancestors, of course. G

Family History and Legacy Refer the girls to the Essence Sheet and highlight the fact that the 10th of Tevet is Yom Hakadish Haklali—a general and communal day of Kaddish, when we observe the yahrzeits (anniversaries of death) of those whose date of death is unknown. Point out that this holiday reects Judaism’s intentional effort to help us remember those in our past. Afrm the value of acknowledging Jewish ancestors and heroes and heroines of Jewish history as a way of keeping their memories alive and of connecting with our Jewish heritage. Origins of Our Names Tell the girls that the group will begin the process of remembering the past by discuss ing the origins of their names. Point out that many families name their children after relatives. Often, parents give their child the same Hebrew or Yiddish name as the relative being honored, or they choose a Hebrew or Yiddish name that begins with the same letter or sound as the name of the relative. It is an Ashkenazi (Jews from Northern Europe) tradition to name babies after deceased relatives. Sefardim (Jews from Mediterranean and Muslim countries) often name babies after living relatives.

5 Tevet Ruach: Year 2 Ask how many girls were able to learn about their names since the last Facilitator’s Tip meeting. (As appropriate, explain that naming children after relatives is a custom, not a rule, and that one is not “less Jewish” if one is not named Assure those girls who don’t have after a relative.) stories that they Ask those girls who were named after someone to share stories about that will have other opportunities person, and talk about how they feel about inheriting his or her name. to speak later. If your group has girls who were named after biblical or historical gures, solicit from the entire group what they know about these gures. G Personal Role Models Point out that another way to honor people is to acknowledge and value the ways in which they inuence us. Ask the girls to think of women— Facilitator’s living or deceased—who have been important in their lives. Have the Tip girls identify these women, explain their relationship, and share things Begin with girls about them that they wish to emulate in their own lives. G who did not share in the last activity.

Personal Legacy and Ethical Wills Point out that, like the women we just discussed, each and every one of us can inuence those around us and those who will come after us. Challenge the girls to think of ways that they would like to be remembered by those they leave behind or are yet to come. Discuss the following saying from Bah.ya ibn Pakuda, an eleventh-century Jewish scholar: “Days are scrolls; write on them only what you want remembered.” Ask: What does the quotation mean to you? How would you like to be remembered? What have you learned that you would like to pass on? Allow a few minutes for discussion of the questions as a warm-up to the following activity. Introduce the Jewish practice of writing ethical wills. Explain that just as a “Last Will and Testament” prescribes the distribution of material wealth, an ethical will is a way to pass on spiritual wealth. Distribute pens and the My Thoughts on Things: Writing an Ethical Will handout, and review the instructions. Invite the girls to write their thoughts in a poem, in a letter to their ctional grandchild, or any other form they like. Allow enough time for the girls to write their creative pieces. When they are nished, invite each girl to complete the following sentence: When those who knew me best remember me, I hope they’ll say, “She was a great ______!” and to share some of their writing with the group if they are comfortable doing so.

6 Tevet Ruach: Year 2 Encourage the girls to have a conversation with their family about ethical wills in order to nd out what each person thinks is really important to pass on. BEFORE YOU LEAVE Allow girls to add new designs to the Rosh H.odesh Cloth (optional). Conrm next meeting place and time. Have one of the girls read aloud “Reb Zusya’s Tale” from the Facilitator’s Resource. Ask for a volunteer to explain its message. and Recite the traditional “Prayer for the New Month.” STILL TO DO! 1 Enter notes on this gathering in the Monthly Log. 2 Determine the next month’s topic and activities by reading through the Sourcebook options or creating something in response to group needs. Be sure to check the Before the Gathering sheet for any: • special preparations, such as arranging for a guest presenter or purchasing materials; • special space requirements, such as for a craft project or movement activity; or • reminders to the girls, such as bringing something to the meeting. 3 At least three weeks before the next meeting: • Call all the girls who volunteered to host throughout the year to confirm dates and, if necessary, obtain directions. Let them know that you will contact them again closer to their hosting dates. • Call the host family/institutional sponsor to reconfirm date, time, and any special requirements, as indicated in next month’s Before the Gathering. • Make food arrangements in keeping with kashrut and allergy concerns. (Check next month’s Essence Sheet for suggested foods.) • Speak with the designated host girl to explore appropriate leadership opportunities, from sharing responsibility for confirming attendance to selecting a topic or facilitating an activity. • Send reminders to the girls, adding any instructions concerning special preparations or things to bring.

7 Tevet Ruach: Year 2 ROSH H.ODESH: IT’S A GIRL THING! Monthly Log Form Facilitator(s):______

Gathering Plan Themes (if different from printed Gathering Plan): ______

The “host girl” was ______and she participated by: Year: 20______Tevet ______Ruach: Year 2 ______

Topics/activities that worked well: ______

Topics/activities that worked poorly: ______

Topics or ideas for future gatherings: ______

Personal or group dynamics issues that arose in the group: ______

Carry-over ideas and tasks for next month (or this month next year): ______

Groups and partners that were assigned (track so that dynamics can be mixed up at each gathering): ______

8 Tevet Ruach: Year 2 ROSH H.ODESH: IT’S A GIRL THING! Essence of Tevet Tevet is the tenth month of the YOM HAKADISH HAKLALI Jewish lunar calendar and begins (General Day of Kaddish) with the last days of H. anukkah. With the founding of the State of Israel in 1948, the 10th of Tevet was declared Yom Hakadish Haklali (General Day of Kaddish) to provide an opportunity to say the Kaddish (prayer for the dead) for those The Tenth of Tevet who died in the Holocaust whose precise date of death was This minor fast on the 10th of Tevet com- memorates the siege of Jerusalem on unknown. Some have adopted that day in 589 BCE by the Babylonian the custom of mourning all those King Nebuchadnezzar, which ultimately whose date of death is unknown led to the destruction of the first Temple on this day, including victims of and the exile of the Jews to Babylonia. war, genocide, or accidents. Yom Hakadish Haklali reflects Judaism’s deliberate effort to help us honor everyone in our past. As we think about those who have come before us, we are inspired to live a life worthy Tevet Foods of their memory. Hanukkah concludes on the second of Tevet, thus completing the rededication of the Temple in Jerusalem. Philo, a Jewish philosopher (20 BCE-50 CE), said it this way: “The body is the Capricorn soul’s house. Shouldn’t we therefore take care of our house so Gedi (the goat) works its way slowly, that it will not fall into ruin?” laboriously up the treacherous mountain This month dedicate yourself to of winter. Sure-footed, firmly centered in the treating your body like a holy temple. earth, the creature eventually reaches the Honor your body by improving your eating summit. As winter habits: try avoiding non-nutritious foods, deepens, and darkness arrives eating extra fresh fruits and vegeta- early, we remember that we too can reach bles, and drinking lots of water. summits of joy—even in darkness. . © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. 9 Tevet Ruach: Year 2 Tevet Our Inheritance, Our Legacy My Thoughts on Things Writing an Ethical Will An ethical will is a way to summarize and pass on spiritual wealth and wisdom, just as a “Last Will and Testament” does for material wealth and possessions. An ethical will is as unique as the person writing it. It may be quite detailed or contain just a few thoughts. You might write about • what you believe really matters in life; • something you have learned from your par- ents or grandparents; • something you are grateful for; • important events in your life; • your hopes for the future. Use this page and the back of this sheet to write your own ethical will in whatever form you choose. © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. 10 Tevet Ruach: Year 2 © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. 11 Tevet Ruach: Year 2

Shevat Nurturing Nature and Ourselves At a Glance In Shevat Ruach, we explore participants’ roles as guardians and protec- tors of the earth and themselves. Participants are challenged to reflect upon and commit to behaviors that are respectful of nature and their own spiritual well-being. GOALS ACTIVITIES • To increase understanding of • Opening and Warm-Up the importance of protecting • Shomrot Adamah nature in Jewish law (Guardians of the Earth) • To encourage behaviors that Creating a personalized are in keeping with the Jewish contract mandate to preserve nature • Shomrot Neshamah • To encourage lifestyle habits (Guardians of Our Souls) that provide balance and Discussion and commitment support personal well-being to caring for oneself • To promote spiritual • Measuring Myself awareness and character Reflecting on personal midot development through • Midot and Me midot practicing Making Midot Cards (Jewish virtues/values) • Closing Poetry and prayer

2 Shevat Spirit: Year 2 Shevat Nurturing Nature and Ourselves Before the Gathering PREPARE ASSEMBLE MATERIALS Special for This Month Special Supplies y Arrange for the host family y Unlined index cards to supply as many of the (bundled in sets of 12, following foods as possible: one set per participant) grapes, figs, dates, olives, y Additional index cards carob, and pomegranates. for optional sign-making y Know the date of the current activity (3-5 per participant) year on the Hebrew calendar: y Laminating plastic or clear 57__ __. contact paper (enough to Every Month cover both sides of card sets) y Read all materials. y Pad and pen for note taking y Secure an appropriate Stock Supplies gathering location. y Rosh H.odesh Cloth (and y Send a reminder card fabric markers if part of or email, with date, time, your ritual) location, and, if necessary, y Rosh H.odesh candle(s), directions. y candleholder(s), matches Arrange for appropriate meal y Group Guidelines poster or snacks. y Kippot (if group members COPY HANDOUTS choose to wear them when eating or learning) One copy per participant: y y Music and player to use Essence of Shevat during craft or writing y Shomeret Adamah activities Contract y Pens and pencils y Shomeret Neshamah: y Water-based fine point Taking Care of Me markers y Midot: Measuring Myself y Scissors One copy, on card stock and cut: y Snacks and utensils or on paper, cut and pasted onto index cards: y REVIEW Bal Tashh.it Cards FACILITATOR’S RESOURCE One copy: y y Rosh Chodesh Sh’vat Rosh Chodesh Sh’vat by Vicki Hollander poem (Facilitator’s Resource)

3 Shevat Spirit: Year 2 Shevat Facilitator’s Resource

Rosh Chodesh Sh’vat by Vicki Hollander

El-Roe’i Sh’vat has come. El-Roe’i, Your gentle hands let us be as the shaked, the almond tree. in the depths of the worlds’ sleep, Let us blossom in the chill of winter. caress earth, Let us lift our branches to the sky carefully coaxing, defiantly, proudly, wooing from the deep, with grace. life to emerge. Let us kiss the stars and hug the earth. Let us stand despite wind and storm, One who sees, heat or drought. in this time of gray, in winters quiet, May we change in our seasons, enable us to feel inside aging with grace, the shoots of green. growing yet another ring a circle marking our lives’ passages, One who envisions, etched in our bark. open our eyes to know we can come alive. No matter how dark the world is, Watch over us, shokad, we can renew and blossom. as we celebrate our movement from darkness to light from seed to tree from empty branch to blossom from silence to promise from sleep to life from emptiness to Your arms from ember to flame. Bless us as we stand. Root us in the world.

From Celebrating the New Moon: A Rosh Chodesh Anthology, by Susan Berrin, ed. (Northvale, NJ: Jason Aronson) 1996, 172-3. Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved. © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. 4 Shevat Spirit: Year 2 Shevat Nurturing Nature and Ourselves Gathering Plan GATHER Beruh.ot Haba’ot: Coming Together, Creating Sacred Space Welcome girls to the meeting for Rosh H. odesh Shevat.

Facilitator’s If applicable, process “Bring It Home” suggestions from the previous month. Tip Distribute an Essence of Shevat handout to each participant. Most fruit and nuts grow on Review the words of the Creative Prayer for the New Month and lead the trees and thus group in singing or reciting the blessing as the host girl lights the Rosh the blessing is H. odesh candle. “ha’etz.” However, there are some Invite each girl to name her favorite type of tree or flower and to surprises: explain why it is her favorite. Ha’etz Most berries Refer to the Essence Sheet and highlight Tu Beshevat customs. Explain Grapes that one popular Tu Beshevat seder custom is to eat the fruits mentioned Ha’adamah in the Torah’s description of the land of Israel (Deuteronomy 8:8). These Bananas include: grapes, figs, dates, olives, carob, and pomegranates. Melons Peanuts Identify the blessings appropriate for the fruits, namely: borey peri Pineapple ha’adamah and borey peri ha’eytz. Recite the blessings together and Rhubarb enjoy the fruits! . Strawberries EXPLORE Nah.alateynu, Koloteynu: Our Inheritance, Our Voices Shomrot Adamah: Guardians of the Earth Shomrot Adamah, Ask participants to share any knowledge regarding Jewish views on our Guardians of the Earth relationship to the earth. Distribute “Bal Tashh.it: Do Not Destroy” cards (one or more to each girl) to demonstrate the level of concern for the environment in Jewish law. Ask the girls to take turns reading their cards aloud. Solicit reactions. Challenge the girls to brainstorm a list of modern day ways to take care of the earth, such as “Don’t take longer in the shower than is necessary to clean yourself.” Ask for a volunteer to take notes on the ideas that are generated. One at a time, have each girl suggest a bal tashh.it law or guideline that would encourage environmentally sound practices today. If necessary, to prompt ideas, ask: What are some practices that would help reduce waste? Recycle glass, paper, and cans—and encourage others to do so. Use both sides of paper before you recycle it. Buy products that are minimally packaged and/or in recyclable materials. Take your own mug whenever you go somewhere to buy a drink.

5 Shevat Spirit: Year 2 Reuse old items in new ways. (A berry basket can hold barrettes.) What are some actions that help conserve energy? Put on a sweater instead of turning up the heat. Lower thermostat at night and add a blanket. Bike, walk, carpool; use public transportation whenever possible. Turn off lights and appliances when you leave the room. What are some ways to conserve water? Turn off water when brushing teeth or washing dishes. Fix drips. Only run dishwasher and washing machine with full loads. How can we take care of plants and animals? Buy products that neither use animal by-products nor are tested on animals (shampoos, make-up, toothpaste, etc.). Use recycled paper. Plant a tree. Eat vegetarian meals once a month, week, or day. Don’t release helium balloons and do cut up six-pack rings, so that they don’t suffocate sea life. Avoid styrofoam and other non-degrading plastics. Distribute blank Shomeret Adamah Contract handouts. Ask the note- taker to share the list that the group generated. Ask each girl to complete Judaism has much to her contract by selecting three activities from the brainstorm list to which say about our obliga- she is willing to commit, and to sign as witness for one another. tions in relationship to the environment. Conclude with Life Lessons in the sidebar. We are each responsi- ble for preserving, pro- DO tecting, and repairing the natural world in Ma’aseh Yadeynu: The Works of Our Hands every way we can. Shomrot Neshamah: Guardians of Our Souls Discuss: Just as we take care of nature, nature takes care of us. Talk about how it feels to go out into nature. Have the girls share memories of special experiences they have had in nature. Point out that going out into nature can be one way that we act as Shomrot Neshamah or Guardians of Our Shomrot Neshamah, Souls. (Neshamah is one word for soul in Hebrew.) Guardians of Our Souls Brainstorm additional ways we can look after our own emotional wellbeing. Distribute and complete the handout Shomeret Neshamah: Taking Care of Me.

6 Shevat Spirit: Year 2 REFLECT Nidrosh: Seeking Meaning Midot: Measuring Myself midot Explain that the Shomeret Neshamah Chart is a starting point for promoting a life of balance and well-being. Judaism connects our spiritual growth and personal fulfillment with practicing midot. Midot are Jewish virtues or values that are reflected in our attitudes, responses, and choices. Distribute the Midot: Measuring Myself handout. Ask the girls to review the sample list of midot. Explain that it’s not whether we have these virtues or “soul traits”—we all have them all—but it’s the level of each trait, that gives us our distinctive way of being in the world. The key is keeping all of the traits in balance— expressing the midot in a balanced way, appropriate to the situation. Ask: Can you suggest an example of how a “good” trait, such as trust or generosity, could be problematic when overdone? We can make ourselves vulnerable to exploitation. How can traits we often think of as “bad,” such as anger or jealousy, be useful to us? Anger can inspire us to speak out; jealousy can motivate us to achieve. Ask the girls to take a few minutes of quiet self-reflection to rate themselves honestly. Emphasize that this is personal and not meant to be shared. Conducting ourselves Allow the girls time to reflect and to complete the exercise. day by day according to Jewish values Ask: What was it like to measure yourself by these virtues? results in a deeper level What is the value of this reflective exercise? of spiritual well-being. Conclude with Life Lessons in the sidebar. Mastering midot helps us to be our best selves, bringing greater CREATE emotional, interper- Ma’aseh Yadeynu: The Works of Our Hands sonal, and spiritual fulfillment. Midot & Me Cards Through self-reflection Ask the girls to identify the midot on which they rated themselves highest we can measure and lowest (1 or 5), and select 12 of them for this craft project, deleting our virtues and seek some or adding others as necessary. balance through moderation. Explain that they will now make a personalized set of Midot Cards. Distribute a bundle of 12 index cards to each girl. Instruct them to write one of their 12 chosen virtues on each card and to add a decorative border as they like. Allow them to laminate both sides of their cards when they are finished. BRING IT HOME Leh.teyh. Vadereh.: Take It With You Suggest that the participants place their cards in a bowl or box at home and draw a card from it weekly. Encourage them to focus on enhanced awareness and mastery of that midah for the week.

7 Shevat Spirit: Year 2 Encourage the girls to share their Shomeret Adamah contract with their families and to discuss a family commitment that might be instituted in their home. BEFORE YOU LEAVE Allow girls to add new designs to the Rosh H.odesh Coth (optional). If there is only one month of Adar this year, and you will be facilitating the gathering outlined in Adar II Ruach, inform the girls of the opportunity to conduct a Purim collection for the needy. Ask what they would like to collect (e.g., food, toiletries, clothing, books) and if they have suggestions for recipient organizations and how to most easily deliver the donations. Confirm next meeting place and time. CLOSING Beruh.a At Betzeyteyh.: Blessings As You Go On Your Way Circulate Rosh Chodesh Sh’vat poem by Vicki Hollander. Have each girl read a stanza of the poem, and Recite the traditional “Prayer for the New Month” from the Essence Sheet. STILL TO DO! 1 Enter notes on this gathering in the Monthly Log (Forms). 2 Determine the next month’s topic and activities by reading through the Sourcebook options or creating something in response to group needs. Be sure to check the Before the Gathering sheet for any: • special preparations, such as arranging for a guest presenter or purchasing materials; • special space requirements, such as for a craft project or movement activity; or • reminders to the girls, such as bringing something to the meeting. 3 At least three weeks before the next meeting: • Call all the girls who volunteered to host throughout the year to confirm dates and, if necessary, obtain directions. Let them know that you will contact them again closer to their hosting dates. • Call the host family/institutional sponsor to reconfirm date, time, and any special requirements, as indicated in next month’s Before the Gathering. • Make food arrangements in keeping with kashrut and allergy concerns. (Check next month’s Essence Sheet for suggested foods.) • Speak with the designated host girl to explore appropriate leadership opportunities, from sharing responsibility for confirm- ing attendance to selecting a topic or facilitating an activity. • Send reminders to the girls, adding any instructions concerning special preparations or things to bring.

8 Shevat Spirit: Year 2 ROSH H.ODESH: IT’S A GIRL THING! Monthly Log Form Facilitator(s):______

Gathering Plan Themes (if different from printed Gathering Plan): ______

The “host girl” was ______and she participated by: Year: 20______Shevat ______Spirit: Year 2 ______

Topics/activities that worked well: ______

Topics/activities that worked poorly: ______

Topics or ideas for future gatherings: ______

Personal or group dynamics issues that arose in the group: ______

Carry-over ideas and tasks for next month (or this month next year): ______

Groups and partners that were assigned (track so that dynamics can be mixed up at each gathering): ______

9 Shevat Spirit: Year 2 ROSH H.ODESH: IT’S A GIRL THING! Essence of Shevat Aquarius—Deli (a vessel filled with water). Miriam (Moses and Aaron’s sister) was associated with water. Legend teaches that because of her righteousness, Miriam was followed by a mysterious well that sustained the Israelites during their desert wandering.

Tu Beshevat (The 15th of Shevat) comes at the full moon and marks the New Year for the Trees. During Temple times, any fruit that appeared by the 15th of Shevat was taxed as the last year’s crop, to support the Temple. Tu Beshevat Customs Holding a Tu Beshevat seder. In the sixteenth century, Jewish mystics in Sefat (a town in northern Israel) saw Tu Beshevat as a way to celebrate nature. They created a Tu Beshevat seder with prayers that enhance our appreciation for trees and fruits. The seder is modeled on the Passover seder and includes drinking four cups of wine and eating up to fifteen different fruits! Today there are many beautiful and creative Tu Beshevat seders available in print. Planting trees. In the late nineteenth century, the growing Jewish settlements in Palestine planted trees to help restore the land. Jews all over the world collect money for planting trees in Israel. Enhancing awareness and protection of the environment. On Tu Shevat Foods Beshevat, we should make an extra effort to learn about important One popular Tu Beshevat environmental issues and recommit ourselves to protecting and custom is to eat the fruits nurturing our world. mentioned in the Torah’s The Torah is often referred to as description of the land of Contemplating “The Tree of Life.” Israel (Deuteronomy 8:8). “Etz H. aim” (The Tree of Life). What does this metaphor mean to you? These include: grapes, figs, dates, olives, carob, and pomegranates. The Tu Beshevat seder is filled with delicious and healthy fruits and juices. Why not enjoy them throughout the month? © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. . 10 Shevat Spirit: Year 2 Bal Tashh.it Cards

When you besiege a city “Do not destroy anything” is the first for a long time in order call of God, which comes to you, to capture it, you must humanity, when you realize yourself as not destroy its trees by master of the earth. God’s call proclaims wielding an ax against to you “If you destroy, if you ruin, at them. You may eat from that moment you are not human, you them, but you must not cut them down. are an animal, and you have no right to 1999), 54- (Hoboken, NJ: KTAV, Are the trees of the field human to the things around you. I lent them to it: Do Do Not it: Destroy” Do Not it: Destroy” . withdraw from you into the besieged . you for wise use only. Never forget that city? Only trees that you know do not I lent them to you.” yield food may be destroyed. Samson Raphael Hirsch, Horeb: Deuteronomy 20:19-20 A Philosophy of Jewish Law and Observances “Bal “Bal Tashh “Bal Tashh

Shevat Spirit: Year 2 Shevat Spirit: Year 2 Exploring Jewish Ethics and Values R eplenish the ea r t h .

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s Land, like humans and animals, must

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1 have a time or rest, to renew itself. Six

1999 KTAV. Used by permission Publishing All of House. rights Ronald reserved. H. Isaacs 1999 and KTAV. KTAV it: Do Do Not it: Destroy” it: Do Do Not it: Destroy”

. : . 2 8 years you shall plant your field but in the © Texts drawn from Ronald Texts H. Isaacs’ seventh you shall neither plant nor reap. 60. It shall be a complete rest for the land. Leviticus 25:2-5 “Bal “Bal Tashh “Bal “Bal Tashh

Shevat Spirit: Year 2 Shevat Spirit: Year 2

One Whoever destroys anything generation that could be useful goes to another person and one breaks the law generation of bal tashh. it. comes, it: Do Do Not it: Destroy” Do Not it: Destroy”

. Talmud Kodashim 32a . but the earth remains forever. Deuteronomy 11:13-17 “Bal “Bal Tashh “Bal Tashh

Shevat Spirit: Year 2 Shevat Spirit: Year 2 © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. 11 Shevat Spirit: Year 2 Bal Tashh.it Cards

Be careful that you do not ruin my world, Even if because the land if you do ruin it, is full no one of good will come along things, to set it you must 1999), 54- (Hoboken, NJ: KTAV, right again. still plant... it: Do Do Not it: Destroy” it: Do Do Not it: Destroy” . Ecclesiastes . even if you are old, Rabbah , you must plant. chapter 7 Midrash Tanhuma, Kodashim 8 “Bal “Bal Tashh “Bal “Bal Tashh

Shevat Spirit: Year 2 Shevat Spirit: Year 2

If not for the trees, Exploring Jewish Ethics and Values If a person kills a tree human life before its time, could not exist. it is as though a soul has been murdered. Rabbi Nachman of Bratslav it: Do Do Not it: Destroy” Do Not it: Destroy” 1999 KTAV. Used by permission Publishing All of House. rights Ronald reserved. H. Isaacs 1999 and KTAV. KTAV . . © Texts drawn from Ronald Texts H. Isaacs’ 60.

Midrash Sifre to Shevat

“Bal “Bal Tashh “Bal Tashh Spirit: Year 2 Deuteronomy 20:19 Shevat Spirit: Year 2

Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai used to say, It is forbidden “If you have a sapling in your hand to live in a town and you are told that the Messiah where there has come, first plant the sapling and is no garden then go and welcome the Messiah.” or greenery. it: Do Do Not it: Destroy” Do Not it: Destroy” . Avot de Rabi Natan 31b . Jerusalem Talmud, Kodashim 4:12 “Bal “Bal Tashh “Bal Tashh

Shevat Spirit: Year 2 Shevat Spirit: Year 2 © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. 12 Shevat Spirit: Year 2 © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. 13 Shevat Spirit: Year 2 Shevat Nurturing Nature and Ourselves SHOMERET NESHAMAH, Taking Care of Me In addition to your regular responsibilities for school and/or work, find some time each day to do the following TAKING CARE OF ME activities. In this way you become a SHOMERET NESHAMAH (Guardian of Your Soul)— and you and the world around you will be happier for having done it! Reward yourself for each step you make toward being a SHOMERET NESHAMAH.

SHOMERET ACTIVITY MON TUE WED THU FRI SAT SUN

Quiet time alone

Something I love to do:

______

______

Physical activity I enjoy:

______

______

Delicious, nutritious food

Family activities

Community service activity

Rest and sleep © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. 14 Shevat Spirit: Year 2 Shevat Nurturing Nature and Ourselves MIDOT: Measuring Myself

MIDOT means “values,” “virtues,” or “soul traits.” Two important Jewish sources of MIDOT are PIRKEY AVOT (Wisdom of the Ancestors) and ORHOT TZADIKIM (Ways of the Righteous), an anonymous 15th-century text. The MIDOT listed below are a sampling from these sources.

The word midot translates literally as ___ diligence: persistent effort; “measure.” Take a moment to measure industriousness yourself regarding the Jewish virtues, using ___ empathy: projecting yourself this rating system: into another’s shoes 1 - Need a lot less of this ___ courage: bravery, boldness 2 - Need a little less of this ___ timidity: easily alarmed 3 - I have this attribute in balance patience 4 - Need a little more of this ___ : ability to endure delay, trouble, pain, or hardship 5 - Need a lot more of this To make this exercise really work for you, the most impor- ___ gratitude: being thankful tant thing is to be honest with yourself. No one but you will ___ compassion: sympathy inclining see the results. one to help ___ awareness: being awake to what ___ order: everything in its proper place is really present in the moment ___ calmness: freedom from mental agita- ___ logic: clear and orderly thinking tion; serenity ___ humility: an accurate recognition ___ discretion: being discrete in one’s of self, neither too grand nor too speech, keeping secrets diminished ___ flexibility: adaptable, able to be ___ pride: self-respect; self-love changed to suit circumstances ___ modesty: retiring demeanor so as not ___ forgiveness: to let go of feeling angry to attract attention or bitter toward a person or about ___ anger: heated emotion stirred by a an offence real or supposed injury or insult ___ justice: fair, impartial, ___ zeal/passion: fervor for a cause giving a deserved response or service ___ obedience: willingness to obey, ___ generosity: giving freely, without to be controlled when necessary, meanness or selfishness to carry out orders ___ trust: having confidence in others; ___ prudence: wise or careful in conduct lacking suspicion and in planning ahead ___ love: affectionate attachment and ___ responsibility: having control over and fondness of heart accountability for appropriate events ___ jealousy: resentment of another’s This exercise was adapted from an unpublished manuscript on status or possessions musar practices by Alan Morinis, author of Climbing Jacob’s Ladder: One Man’s Rediscovery of a Jewish Spiritual Tradition ___ honesty: scrupulous uprightness (New York: Broadway Books, 2002). Used by permission of in action; not stealing the author. All rights reserved. For more information, write [email protected]. © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. 15 Shevat Spirit: Year 2

Adar Special Facilitator’s Introduction

Adar is unique in the Jewish calendar because some years contain two Adars. Most calendars used throughout the world are solar (based on the rotation of the earth around the sun), so that they are aligned with agricultural seasons. The Muslim calendar is based solely on the moon, which is most useful for a nomadic culture. The Jewish calendar is unusual in being based on both the sun and the moon, blending the needs of agricultural and nomadic peoples. But the solar year and lunar year are not even in length. The annual cycle of the moon around the earth takes 354 days and the annual cycle of the earth around the sun takes 365. So, seven of the nineteen years in the cycle of the Jewish calendar are designated as “leap years,” in which a “leap month” is added to compensate for the difference and “even them out.” During leap years, we add an extra Adar after the regular Adar. We call this extra month “Adar II,” and the regular Adar becomes “Adar I.” However, when there are two Adars, Purim falls in Adar II. Adar is the twelfth month of the Jewish calendar, but on leap years, Adar I is the twelfth and Adar II is the thirteenth month. Consult the Rosh H. odesh Calendar in the Appendix, to determine whether this is a “leap year,” and choose an appropriate Gathering Plan. Note that there is one Essence Sheet, which works with all of the Gathering Plans in the chapters for both Adar I and Adar II. It is found at the beginning of Adar I. If there are two Adars this year, use the Adar I Gathering Plan for the first Adar, and the Adar II Gathering Plan for the second Adar. Use the same Essence Sheet for both gatherings, emphasizing the portions relevant to each month. Because Purim offers such rich subject matter for girls and women, the Gathering Plans of both months are derived from the themes of Purim but focus on very different aspects of the holiday. • The Gathering Plan for Adar I addresses the broader, timeless theme of beauty. • The Gathering Plan for Adar II features activities directly related to Purim — identity and mask-making. If there is one Adar this year, use the Gathering Plan from either Adar I or Adar II — either will work!

2 Adar I Ruach: Year 2 Adar I Choosing to Stand At a Glance In Adar I Ruach, we draw on the experiences of Esther, Vashti, and Dinah to discuss a range of appropriate empowerment strategies. The girls also receive self-defense instruction. GOALS ACTIVITIES • To encourage thoughtful • Opening and Warm-Up assessment of difficult • Standing Up for Ourselves situations prior to taking Discussion of Esther, Vashti, action and Dinah • To acknowledge the range of • Getting What We Want response actions in any given Exercise in persuasion situation • Choosing to Stand • To empower girls to stand Self-defense instruction up for their emotional and with a guest presenter physical well-being as appropriate • Closing Saying “No!” and reciting the traditional “Prayer for the New Month”

3 Adar I Ruach: Year 2 Adar I Choosing to Stand Before the Gathering PREPARE ASSEMBLE MATERIALS Special for This Month Stock Supplies y y When reading materials, pay Rosh H.odesh Cloth (and particular attention to the fabric markers if part of stories of Esther and Dinah, your ritual) summarized on the Essence y Rosh H.odesh candle(s), handout. y candleholder(s), matches Secure a gathering location y Group Guidelines poster that can accommodate a y self-defense lesson. Kippot (if group members y choose to wear them when Arrange for a self-defense eating or learning) instructor, preferably female, y to present an approximately Music and player to use 45-minute introductory during craft or writing program, allowing for activities processing at the conclusion y Pens and pencils of the segment (longer if y you meet for two hours). Water-based fine point y markers Send reminders, asking girls y to wear loose, comfortable Scissors clothing. y Snacks and utensils Every Month y Read all materials. y Secure an appropriate gathering location. y Send a reminder card or email, with date, time, location, and, if necessary, directions. y Arrange for appropriate meal or snacks. COPY HANDOUTS One copy per participant: y Essence of Adar

4 Adar I Ruach: Year 2 Adar I Choosing to Stand Before the Gathering GATHER Beruh.ot Haba’ot: Coming Together, Creating Sacred Space Welcome girls to the meeting for Rosh H. odesh Adar/Adar I as they sit around the Rosh H. odesh Cloth. If applicable, process “Bring It Home” suggestions from the previous month. Distribute an Essence of Adar handout to each participant. Review words of the “Creative Prayer for the New Month” and lead the group in singing or reciting the blessing as the host girl lights the Rosh H. odesh candle. Invite the girls to identify the connection between the snacks and the themes of the months. Compare their responses to the “Food” section on the Essence Sheet. Ask for a volunteer to recite the appropriate food blessing. (See Blessing sheet in binder pocket.) Ask for a volunteer to read and model her response to the opening sharing: How do you get what you want? (No need to clarify; let the girls interpret as they will.) At the conclusion, note the similarities and/or range of responses and affirm the girls’ contributions. EXPLORE Nah.alateynu, Koloteynu: Our Inheritance, Our Voices Standing Up for Ourselves Remind the girls that today’s meeting features an invited guest, the self- defense instructor. Connect Adar with this theme and choice of activity by pointing out that Adar offers us three examples of women who are called upon to stand up for themselves: Esther, Vashti, and Dinah. Ask: What do you know about any of these women? What is Dinah’s connection to Adar? Refer the girls to the Essence Sheet as needed. What are the similarities and differences among the situations and responses of these women? What can we learn from their experiences? Vashti is confronted with a demand that she finds unacceptable. She chooses to assert herself firmly in her refusal and accepts the consequence of banishment rather than comply.

5 Adar I Ruach: Year 2 Esther finds herself in a position to save the Jewish people. She chooses to intercede by approaching the king uninvited despite the risk to her own life in doing so. Her response is well thought out. First, she asks the people to fast in support of her efforts; Vashti, Esther, and Dinah can remind us then, she plans and executes a strategic manipulation of events, of the importance of which results in her success. making good choices In Dinah’s situation, both the nature of the man’s advances and in potentially dangerous situations. her response to them are unclear. There are some who suppose that the lack of detail implies that she was not taken by force. Different situations require different kinds We can only speculate. Still, we can use Dinah’s story to raise of responses. Some our awareness of threatening situations and to inspire us to do necessitate a strong our best to empower ourselves. stand, others call for highlight creative strategizing, As you facilitate the discussion of the above questions the and still others require Life Lessons in the sidebar. physical self-defense. It is important to REFLECT evaluate a situation and to assess our own Nidrosh: Seeking Meaning comfort and confidence Facilitator’s in assertive responses. Getting What We Want Tip Explain that before we introduce our guest self- You may wish to defense instructor you want to conduct a brief privately coach the experiment. Select two volunteers. Ask one of them pairs to try options to walk across the room; instruct the second girl to they have not demonstrated, whisper instructions to the other to try to stop her such as threat, from reaching the other side using only words. Try it persuasion, again with several pairs of girls, asking them to try distraction, different approaches. pleading, bribery, or flattery. Ask: What were the different strategies you saw being used? What other approaches might you suggest? How did it feel to be stopped in the way you were approached? How did you see the stopped person respond? Which method worked best?

When asserting Is it always the same? ourselves, different Summarize your discussion, drawing on the Life Lessons in the approaches work with sidebar. different people at different times. Clear, respectful persuasion is often the least combative —and most effective— strategy.

6 Adar I Ruach: Year 2 DO Na’aseh: Participate and Process Choosing to Stand Point out that self-defense involves both psychological and physical empowerment. Emphasize that physical confrontation is to be used Facilitator’s only when in physical danger and as a last recourse. Invite the guest Tip instructor to lead this activity,G introducing her if you have not had the Request that opportunity previously. your instructor Afterward, thank the instructor and invite the girls to share feedback demonstrate the difference between a about the experience. high-pitched scream Ask: How did it feel to participate in this activity? for help and a loud, low-pitched shout, What are the benefits of learning self-defense? “No!”—allowing you to use the shout in Do you feel prepared to use some of the strategies you learned, the closing exercise if need be? Why or why not? below. Let the girls know that while this month’s activity focused on physical responses to a safety threat, another important self-empowerment skill is assertive communication and conflict management, which will be explored in the month of Sivan. BEFORE YOU LEAVE Allow girls to add new designs to the Rosh H. odesh Cloth (optional). If you will be facilitating Adar II Ruach, inform the girls of the opportunity to conduct a Purim collection for the needy next month. Ask what they would like to collect (e.g., food, toiletries, clothing, books) and if they have suggestions for recipient organizations and how to most easily deliver the donations. Confirm next meeting place and time. CLOSING Beruh.a At Betzeyteyh.: Blessings as You Go on Your Way Invite each girl to demonstrate her best loud, deep, from-the-belly, “No!” and Recite the traditional “Prayer for the New Month.” If this is a leap year, collect the Essence of Adar handout for use in Adar II.

7 Adar I Ruach: Year 2 STILL TO DO! 1 Enter notes on this gathering in the Monthly Log. 2 Determine the next month’s topic and activities by reading through the Sourcebook options or creating something in response to group needs. Be sure to check the Before the Gathering sheet for any: • special preparations, such as arranging for a guest presenter or purchasing materials; • special space requirements, such as for a craft project or movement activity; or • reminders to the girls, such as bringing something to the meeting. 3 At least three weeks before the next meeting: • Call all the girls who volunteered to host throughout the year to confirm dates and, if necessary, obtain directions. Let them know that you will contact them again closer to their hosting dates. • Call the host family/institutional sponsor to reconfirm date, time, and any special requirements, as indicated in next month’s Before the Gathering. • Make food arrangements in keeping with kashrut and allergy concerns. (Check next month’s Essence Sheet for suggested foods.) • Speak with the designated host girl to explore appropriate leadership opportunities, from sharing responsibility for confirming attendance to selecting a topic or facilitating an activity. • Send reminders to the girls, adding any instructions concerning special preparations or things to bring.

8 Adar I Ruach: Year 2 ROSH H.ODESH: IT’S A GIRL THING! Monthly Log Form Facilitator(s):______

Gathering Plan Themes (if different from printed Gathering Plan): ______

The “host girl” was ______and she participated by: Year: 20______Adar I ______Ruach: Year 2 ______

Topics/activities that worked well: ______

Topics/activities that worked poorly: ______

Topics or ideas for future gatherings: ______

Personal or group dynamics issues that arose in the group: ______

Carry-over ideas and tasks for next month (or this month next year): ______

Groups and partners that were assigned (track so that dynamics can be mixed up at each gathering): ______

9 Adar I Ruach: Year 2 ROSH H.ODESH: IT’S A GIRL THING! Essence of Adar

Purim is celebrated on the Foods of Adar Enjoying a Purim Se’udah 14th of Adar (or Adar II in (Festive Meal) is one of the a leap year). The story of mitzvot of Purim. Hamantaschen are the best-known traditional Purim is told in MEGILAT ESTER, food for Purim. These triangular The Book of Esther—one of cookies, filled with poppy seeds, fruit, cheese or prune jam, only two books of the Bible are said to represent the three- to bear a woman’s name. cornered hat or pocket of the villain Haman. In Israel, hamantaschen are called Falling on the full moon, ozney Haman (Haman’s ears). Purim is half-way between Sefardi Jews make folares by wrapping hard-boiled eggs in Tu Beshevat and Passover, pastry dough in the shape of an animal or a Purim character. and marks the day the Jews These are baked, displayed, celebrated their victory over and later eaten as a Purim treat. Bean dishes, such as hummus, Haman and his cohort. Because are also eaten to remind us that, the Jews of the walled city of according to legend, Esther ate a vegetarian diet while in the Sushan fought their enemies court, in order to avoid eating Pisces—Dagim (fish) Living deep in the ocean, non-kosher food. for an extra day, in the walled fish are the creatures of a hidden world. In the city of Jerusalem, Shushan megillah and in our Purim celebrations, we play with Purim is observed on the what is hidden and what 15th to this day. is revealed. Jews have also been compared to fish swimming in an ocean of Torah. In Adar or Adar II, we splash happily in one of the most joyous stories of the Bible!

©JK . © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. 100 Adar I Ruach: Year 2 ©d. 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All rights reserved. 11 Adar I Ruach: YearRuach: 2 I Adar 11 But we must remember that the one harmed is not in not is harmed one the that remember must we But in havecome not would she so differently something vi the that wish to tend we hurt, are about carewe innocent. freely,is about victim going the simply crim a of victim the is someone when that understand time,same the Atsituations. dangerous potentially make to and careful be to us reminds story Dinah’s matter,we the so on and feelings and thoughts own Torahforce.byThe her on himself does imposed he the man; this with time spend to freely chose Dinah tr place.Some the of men the of one with entangled Hivite local the of women the meet to out goes she ab little knowwe and complicated, is story Dinah’s led twelvebrotherswho the daughter,of sister the Dinah, with associate traditions some which month, AdarI Israel. of twelvetribes the with associated twelvecalen the CE, century second the in Beginning Dinah FEMALES FABULOUS with us in those moments when we need some extra support in saying “no.” saying in support extra some need we when moments those in us with VashtiWebeing of unpopular. as think temporarily can us makes so doing if even well-being, and self-respect of sense our challenge that or unsafe, or uncomfortable feel us make that things to “no” say proudly to Vashtius Queen inspires lives. own our in it emulate to seek and it for her admire we chutzpah, her Vashtibanished for king the Although disrespectful. and inappropriate were felt she that ways in beauty her off show to her wanted king the that speculate scholars request, king’s the about Vashtiobjectionable Queen found that was it what sure be can’t we Although command. his at guests husband’s her entertain to refused she when bravery Vashtitremendous Queen showed Vashti Queen ADAR, CONTINUED ADAR, lives of those we love.we those of lives the and lives our affect that decisions important making when intellect and intuition our both use to and in, believe we causes for risks measured take to necessary, whenever behalf own our on out speak to us inspires Esther Queen hearts. our in and history Jewish in place a her won and people Jewish savedbraverythe that and intelligence her was palace,it the in place a her won looks Esther’s Although Esther Queen I is an additional, 13th additional, an is I When we or someone or we When the twelvetribes. the it is very important to important very is it ctim had done had ctim out it. One day One it. out town and ends up ends and town good choices in choices good Torah that implies aditions say that say aditions are left to speculate.to left are not recordDinah’s not Leah’s only Leah’s harm’s way.harm’s dar months weremonths dar any way at fault. wayat any e as he or she was she or he as e

Adar II Purim: Courage and Community At a Glance

In Adar II Ruach, we explore the Jewish obligation of TIKUN OLAM (repair of the world) using the customs of Purim as prototypes for our communal responsibilities to stand up to injustice, share our good fortune, and strive to improve the world. GOALS ACTIVITIES • To familiarize participants • Opening and Warm-Up mitzvot with the of Purim • Mitzvot and Meaning and its messages of courage Discussion of Purim’s lessons and communal responsibility on caring and sharing • To encourage participants • Jewish Community to take on the obligation of Decorating the Rosh H.odesh tikun olam inspired by Jewish Cloth with year-round celebrations and observances holiday tzedakah ideas • To allow participants to • Purim Mitzvot experience community Donating matanot le’evyonim through the fulfillment of (gifts to the poor) two of the mitzvot of Purim • Purim Presents Making mishloah. manot (food for friends) and gift containers • Closing Tikun olam teaching and ritual, and reciting the traditional “Prayer for the New Month”

2 Adar II Ruach: Year 2 Adar II Purim: Courage and Community Before the Gathering

PREPARE Special for This Month Every Month y Secure a gathering location y Read all materials. appropriate for large-scale y Secure an appropriate baking and craft projects. Take gathering location. into account any kashrut con- y cerns among group members. Send a reminder card or email, with date, time, y Send reminders, asking the location, and, if necessary, girls to wear clothing suitable directions. for a baking project and to y bring in appropriate jokes to Arrange for appropriate meal tell while baking. Remind the or snacks. girls to bring the donations they chose to collect at last COPY HANDOUTS month’s gathering. One copy per participant: y Plan for donations to be y Essence of Adar Ruach transported to the selected -- page 1 organization. As a leadership y opportunity, you may wish Tzedakah and the to enlist the help of the host Jewish Holidays: Jewish girl in this endeavor. Giving for Social Change y y Decide whether you wish to Hamantashen Recipes use the non-refrigerated I and II hamantaschen dough (which One copy: you can prepare in advance y Send Help (Facilitator’s or the girls can mix up at the Resource) meeting) or the refrigerated dough (which requires advance preparation and at least three hours continued refrigeration). Decide which filling to use. (You can mix- and-match the recipes.) y If using the refrigerated dough in Recipe I, or if you wish to save time when using Recipe II, prepare and refrigerate the dough in advance. y Make one or more sample mishloah. manot containers according to the instructions below.

3 Adar II Ruach: Year 2 Adar II Purim: Courage and Community

ASSEMBLE MATERIALS Special Supplies For collecting clothing or other For closing: gifts for the needy: y Large metal or Pyrex® y Bags and boxes for sorting tray or pan and packaging donations y Matches brought from home One per participant: For baking project: y y Tea lights or votive candles Plastic or oilcloth and glass holders tablecloth or covering y Coasters or ceramic saucers y Ingredients to bake hamantaschen (see Stock Supplies Recipes handout) y Rosh H. odesh Cloth and y Extra flour for rolling fabric markers (to be used surface in tikun olam activity) y y Margarine for greasing Rosh H. odesh candle(s), pans, if required candleholder(s), matches y Nuts, raisin boxes, or other y Group Guidelines poster readily eaten foods for y Kippot (if group members mishloah. manot y choose to wear them when Baking tools (e.g., eating or learning) mixing bowls and spoons, y Music and player to use measuring cups and spoons, during craft or writing rolling pins, waxed paper, activities 3” diameter glasses for y cutting circles, baking Snacks and utensils pans, spatula, cooling racks, sponges) REVIEW y Grinder or food processor, FACILITATOR’S RESOURCE if making filling in Recipe I y Send Help y Large, lightweight white paper plates (at least one per participant) (The inexpensive, crimped edged “picnic plates” work best.) y Low-mess supplies to decorate containers, such as markers and stickers y Staplers and staples

4 Adar II Ruach: Year 2 Adar II Facilitator’s Resource

Send Help

...[A] man...once stood before God, his heart breaking from

the pain and injustice in the world. “Dear God,” he cried out,

“look at all the suffering, the anguish and distress in your

world. Why don’t you send help?”

From Rabbi David J. Wolpe’s Teaching Your Children About God: God responded, “I did send help. I sent you.” A Modern Jewish Approach (New York: HarperCollins, 1994), 186.

5 Adar II Ruach: Year 2 Adar II Purim: Courage and Community Gathering Plan GATHER Beruh.ot Haba’ot: Coming Together, Creating Sacred Space Welcome girls to the meeting for Rosh H. odesh Adar as they sit around the Rosh H. odesh Cloth. If applicable, process “Bring It Home” suggestions from the previous month. Distribute an Essence of Adar handout to each participant. Review words of the “Creative Prayer for the New Month” and lead the group in singing or reciting the blessing as the host girl lights the Rosh H. odesh candle. Invite the girls to identify the connection between the snacks and the themes of the months. Compare their responses to the “Food” section on the Essence Sheet. Ask for a volunteer to recite the appropriate food blessing. (See Blessing sheet in binder pocket.) Ask for a volunteer to read and model her response to the opening sharing: Describe a meaningful volunteer experience you have had, such as a time you helped someone less fortunate or worked for a social cause. At the conclusion, note the similarities and/or range of responses and affirm the girls’ contributions. EXPLORE Nah.alateynu, Koloteynu: Our Inheritance, Our Voices Mitzvot and Meaning: Purim’s Lessons on Caring and Sharing Process responses to the opening questions, soliciting from participants how these experiences made them feel. Point out that these examples of helping others reflect an important Jewish mandate to better the world in any way we can. Explain that the holiday of Purim is celebrated in keeping with the communal responsibilities that are essential to Jewish practice. Ask: What are the mitzvot (commandments) of Purim? • To hear the megilah read, with the customs of drowning out Haman’s name with gragers (noisemakers), dressing in costumes, etc.; • To send food packages (mishloah. manot) to friends on the day of Purim that include a variety of readily eaten foods—fruit, nuts, candies, cookies, etc.;

6 Adar II Ruach: Year 2 • To eat a festive meal (Purim se’udah) in celebration; • To give gifts to the poor or needy (matanot le’evyonim). Which of these mitzvot emphasize communal responsibility? How? The laws of Purim not only require us to celebrate the holiday, but also emphasize our responsibility to ensure that everyone else can celebrate, too.

How do Esther and Mordeh. ai demonstrate communal responsibility As we celebrate a in the Purim story? moment when Jewish lives were saved, we The risky, heroic acts of Esther and Mordechai on behalf are reminded to help of the entire people should inspire us to stand up for justice. others whose lives What lessons can we learn from the mitzvot and story of Purim? or well-being are threat- ened. Conclude with the Life Lessons in the sidebar. Like Esther and Mordechai, we must CREATE be willing to stand up for justice. Ma’aseh Yadeynu: The Works Of Our Hands Jewish Community: Responsibility and Rewards Introduce the idea that while matanot le’evyonim (gifts to the needy) is tzedakah that allows poor people to celebrate Purim, tzedakah is a general mitzvah that is required of Jews throughout the year. Elicit/explain the dual meanings of tzedakah (Hebrew for “charity,” with a root that means “justice”) and mitzvah (translated as “commandment,” also used as “good deed”). Point out that the notion of tzedakah consists of not only giving money but also actively giving of oneself and helping others in creative ways. Explain that you will now distribute a handout that demonstrates how many of our holidays can inspire tzedakah gifts and actions linked to the theme of the holiday. Facilitator’s Tip Divide the group into pairs, distribute the handout, and assign a If they express specific holiday to each pair. Ask them to think of ways to depict those anxiety about holidays and the correlating social-action theme in words or images on drawing, invite the the group’s Rosh H.odesh Cloth. girls to use simple words and symbols Provide fabric markers and allow about ten minutes for this activity. to convey their message; encourage Invite each pair to introduce the holiday and its associated social-action them to help theme. Refer to the opening discussion to highlight the satisfaction each other. derived from participating in efforts such as those now beautifully displayed on the cloth. Ask: It’s unusual and notable that God’s name does not appear in Megilat Ester. How do you interpret that fact? There is no “correct” response. Be open to participants’ interpretations; then share these as well: God is masked in the costume of circumstances and events.

7 Adar II Ruach: Year 2 God is hidden behind the people who bring about the miracle of this holiday. Invite the host girl to read the story Send Help from the Facilitator’s Resource. Conclude with the Life Lessons in the sidebar.

Purim reminds us that DO miracles can happen through people who Na’aseh: Participate and Process care and take action. Purim Presents: At the heart of Jewish tradition is our responsi- Matanot Le’evyonim (Gifts to the Poor) bility to work to make Explain that your group will be participating in two Purim mitzvot that the world a better place. link to communal obligation: matanot le’evyonim—giving to the less privileged and mishloah. manot—sending gifts to friends. Thank the girls for the donations they brought for matanot le’evyonim. Consolidate and package items as is appropriate and determine where and how they will be delivered. CREATE Ma’aseh Yadeynu: The Works Of Our Hands Purim Presents: Mishloah. Manot (Food for Friends) Explain that the group will now make hamantaschen to include in mishloah. manot, and make and assemble the containers. Hand out Hamantaschen Recipe. Make and bake hamantaschen. Encourage the girls to share the jokes they brought to the meeting while assembling the hamantaschen. Set up materials for making the mishloah. manot containers (plates, staplers, markers, stickers, etc.). While hamantaschen are baking, instruct the girls on making the containers. Turn a single plate upside down and decorate the rim of the underside. Then, turn the plate right side up. Fold up the sides and staple the edges of the plate in three spots to create a triangular pocket that resembles a hamantaschen (see diagram in sidebar). Prepare enough mishloah. manot so each girl has at least one basket containing hamantaschen and other foods (nuts, raisins, etc.) to share on Purim as she chooses.

8 Adar II Ruach: Year 2 BRING IT HOME Leh.teyh. Vadereh.: Take It With You Ask the girls to notice what it is like to deliver mishloah. manot on Purim—how they chose the recipient, how they felt delivering it, how it was received, and any observations or reflections they might have. Ask them to plan to report on the experience next month. BEFORE YOU LEAVE Clean up the space. Conrm the next meeting place and time. CLOSING Facilitator’s Beruh.a At Betzeyteyh.: Blessings as You Go on Your Way Tip Set up the room for the Closing Ritual by reducing the general lighting Do not place lit candles or their to a single overhead or table lamp. Carefully place tea lights or votive holders on fabric candles in their holders around the room (one per participant). Place the or wood, even metal tray at the center of the circle and sit near it. G for a short time. Use coasters or Prepare the girls for the ritual by asking the host girl to turn off the room ceramic plates light the first time you say the word “shattered” in telling the story and under the individual instructing all the other girls to stamp loudly at the same time. candleholders, and gather the holders Light the candles. Tell or read the story (adapted from Zohar and Sefer onto the® metaltray. Yetzirah): or Pyrex In the late 1500s, a great rabbi came to Sefat, a small town in northern Palestine, with a mystical vision of the world. His name was Yitzhak Luria, and many students came to Sefat to receive his teaching of kabbalah. Often he would go out into the fields with his students and they would learn there. One day, he gathered them to teach about the creation of the world. Here is what he said: Before the beginning of time and space, all that was, was God. So in order to make space for the physical world, God had to contract. So God contracted—did “tzim tzum.”

And then, into the emptiness, God sent out the first created thing—Divine Light. This intense holy light dispersed into the space in the form of various spiritual vessels, keylim. But the farther these vessels were from the source, the less able they were to hold the light and suddenly, it was too much for them to hold and they shattered into pieces, dispersed throughout the world.

9 Adar II Ruach: Year 2 As human beings, our task is to find the shattered vessels and the sparks of Divine Light and to elevate and unite them so that their light can shine forth strongly. Through these many small acts of tikun olam, we repair the physical and spiritual world. Ask: Can you name things that are broken in the world that need fixing? Ways that people treat one another? Ways that people treat the earth or animals? After the girls have finished naming the problems that trouble them, direct the girls: Now I invite each of you to name one small action that people could undertake to address the problem you identified, and as you do, to bring a candle to the center and place it on this tray as a symbolic reuniting of the sparks of Divine Light. When all the candles are on the tray, conclude: There are things in this world that hurt when we hear of them. Often we wonder how one person’s acts can really help heal the world. But we have seen here how many small lights, when gathered together can create a powerful and inspiring glow. Gather up the light you see here (gesture with your hands), as we do with our Shabbat candles and take it into your body. Feel it there (pause), so that it can strengthen you with its warmth when you are looking for courage in helping to repair the world, as we recite together the traditional “Prayer for the New Month.” Lead the blessing.

10 Adar II Ruach: Year 2 STILL TO DO! 1 Enter notes on this gathering in the Monthly Log. 2 Determine the next month’s topic and activities by reading through the Sourcebook options or creating something in response to group needs. Be sure to check the Before the Gathering sheet for any: • special preparations, such as arranging for a guest presenter or purchasing materials; • special space requirements, such as for a craft project or movement activity; or • reminders to the girls, such as bringing something to the meeting. 3 At least three weeks before the next meeting: • Call all the girls who volunteered to host throughout the year to confirm dates and, if necessary, obtain directions. Let them know that you will contact them again closer to their hosting dates. • Call the host family/institutional sponsor to reconfirm date, time, and any special requirements, as indicated in next month’s Before the Gathering. • Make food arrangements in keeping with kashrut and allergy concerns. (Check next month’s Essence Sheet for suggested foods.) • Speak with the designated host girl to explore appropriate leadership opportunities, from sharing responsibility for confirming attendance to selecting a topic or facilitating an activity. • Send reminders to the girls, adding any instructions concerning special preparations or things to bring.

11 Adar II Ruach: Year 2 ROSH H.ODESH: IT’S A GIRL THING! Monthly Log Form Facilitator(s):______

Gathering Plan Themes (if different from printed Gathering Plan): ______

The “host girl” was ______and she participated by: Year: 20______Adar II ______Spirit: Year 2 ______

Topics/activities that worked well: ______

Topics/activities that worked poorly: ______

Topics or ideas for future gatherings: ______

Personal or group dynamics issues that arose in the group: ______

Carry-over ideas and tasks for next month (or this month next year): ______

Groups and partners that were assigned (track so that dynamics can be mixed up at each gathering): ______

12 Adar II Ruach: Year 2 Adar II TZEDAKAH and the Jewish Holidays: Jewish Giving for Social Change צõְדקה

Rosh Hashanah The Jewish New Year and High Holy Day cycle are traditionally observed with teshuvah, tzedakah and tefilah—repentance, sharing of wealth, and prayer. Rosh Hashanah, the “Birthday of the World,” is a time to direct tzedakah towards artistic projects that enlarge our sense of awe and connection.

Yom Kippur For the Day of Atonement, many synagogues augment their fast with hunger-relief food drives. It’s a good time to direct tzedakah toward organizations dedicated to eliminating poverty and achieving economic justice.

Sukkot/Shemini Atzeret Judaism’s autumn harvest festival is designed to remind us of our vulnerability within the natural world. Tzedakah devoted to ending homelessness dovetails with the symbolic sukkah, the outdoor hut in which we take our festival meals.

Simchat Torah The High Holy Days end with this “rejoicing of the Torah,” traditionally observed with all-night Torah readings. Tzedakah for education fits the spirit.

Hanukkah The Festival of Lights is an end-of-year opportunity to link gift-giving with tzedakah in keeping with holiday themes: self-determination, religious freedom, free speech.

Tu Beshevat The “New Year of the Trees” is ripe for tzedakah dedicated to environmental preservation in the U.S. and Israel—and to economic justice for farmworkers and others in food industries. © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. 13 Adar II Ruach: Year 2 Purim This Jewish holiday of disguise and foolery has twin themes of “uppity women” and “coming out of the closet” that make it an outstanding time for tzedakah to women’s and gay and lesbian causes.

Passover Passover expresses Jewish longings for freedom and a world in which our deepest values can be redeemed. Tzedakah dedicated to campaigns against slavery and human trafficking and to just treatment for immigrants and “strangers” is very appropriate for this remembrance of the Exodus.

Yom Hasho’ah In response to the incalculable loss of Jewish life in the Holocaust, which Yom Hasho’ah commemorates, tzedakah might best be devoted to the rebuilding of Jewish life and culture and to organizing against anti-Semitism, racism, and neo-fascism.

Yom Ha’atzma’ut Celebrate Israel’s day of independence with tzedakah dedicated to meeting needs within Israel and to peace.

Shavuot Shavuot celebrates the covenant made at Mount Sinai, where every Jew who joined the Exodus from Egypt, as well as “the souls of all future generations” (Talmud), were given the Torah as revelation about how to live our lives. Tzedakah on this day might be devoted to projects of generational continuity and to legal activism for corporate, governmental, and judicial responsibility. For more information on Jewish paths to justice through tzedakah, contact Tishah Be’av The Shefa Fund at The fast day recalls the destruction of both Jerusalem Temples by outside [email protected], www.shefafund.org, forces intent on obliterating the Jewish people. Tishah Be’av also marks or 215-483-4004. the birth of the messianic hope for redemption. Giving tzedakah for world peace, disarmament, and the eradication of genocidal weapons is in keeping with the spirit © 2002 The Shefa Fund. Reprinted by permission. of Tishah Be’av.

All illustrations (except tree) © 2003 Jonathan Kremer. All rights reserved. © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. 14 Adar II Spirit: Year 2 Hamantaschen Recipes

Each recipe makes about 60 Recipe 1 DOUGH FILLING 4 cups flour 3/4 cup oil Prune jam or cherry pie filling. 1 cup sugar 1/4 cup water 2 tsp. baking powder 2 eggs ASSEMBLY 1/4 tsp. salt 1 tsp. vanilla Preheat oven to 350°F (175°C). Mix together all the dry ingredients. Fill circles and pinch three corners. Add the liquid ingredients and blend well. Place on a greased or nonstick pan about Form into a ball and roll out on a floured two inches apart. surface. Bake at 350°F (175°C) until lightly Use a 3-inch cutter (or a glass) dipped in browned, approximately 15 to 20 minutes. flour to cut circles.

Recipe 2 —Beatsy Orenstein, Minneapolis, MN DOUGH ASSEMBLY 3 eggs 4 cups flour Preheat oven to 350°F (175°C). 1 cup sugar 4 tsp. baking powder Divide dough into two parts. Roll out one 1 cup canola oil part of the dough on a floured board about 4 Tbsp. apple juice 1/8 inch thick. Use a 3-inch cutter (or a In a mixer, beat eggs, then add sugar, oil glass) dipped in flour to cut circles. Put and apple juice. In another bowl, mix flour about a heaping teaspoon of filling in each and baking powder together, then add to cookie. Pinch into triangles. Repeat with egg mixture. CHILL THE DOUGH second part of dough. Roll out leftover OVERNIGHT or at least 3 hours. dough again and repeat as many times as necessary to use up the dough and filling. FILLING The trick is not to make them too big and l - 12 oz. pkg. pitted prunes to put as much filling in each one as it will l - 15 oz. pkg. raisins hold. (I hate hamantaschen that are almost l - 10 oz. jar apricot 100 percent fruit jam all dough with a little filling.) If there is or conserve leftover dough after the filling is used up, 1 lemon (optional) make it into flat, round cookies. Use a food processor or the medium piece Place on greased or non-stick cookie sheets on a hand grinder to grind prunes and about two inches apart. raisins, alternating as you put them in the Bake for 15 to 20 minutes at 350°F (175°C), processor/grinder. Add jam (and a squeeze until edges begin to turn brown. of lemon juice, if desired) and mix well. Guaranteed delicious! Enjoy!!!!! © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. 15 Adar II Spirit: Year 2

Nisan A Girls’ Seder At a Glance In Nisan Ruach, we explore ways of making seders more engaging and we experience a women’s seder that highlights women’s roles in the Exodus and the need for liberating all women to live at their full potential. Participants are encouraged to replicate portions of the group experience in their families’ observance.

GOALS ACTIVITIES • To enhance participants’ • Opening and Warm-Up familiarity with and • Hagadot of Our Own investment in both old Paired discussion and and new Passover rituals design of seder innovations • To empower the girls to take • A Girls’ Seder leadership roles in the seders Conducting a seder with they attend enhanced focus on female • To promote awareness of roles and perspectives, women’s roles in the Exodus including participants’ innovations

2 Nisan Ruach: Year 2 Nisan A Girls’ Seder Before the Gathering y PREPARE Secure a gathering location with an appropriate space Special for This Month y for the seder. Review a variety of feminist y hagadot and choose one or Plan the seder: more to use to lead the group • How will each section of the seder be in a girls’ seder. There are presented? numerous women’s seders • Are there supplementary handouts available in print that you or cards that would be helpful? Note: During the gathering, the girls will can use or adapt. Two of our be designing or selecting seder favorite women’s seder activities and supplements that will resources are: be incorporated into the seder. The Journey Continues: The Ma’yan • How will leadership be shared? Passover Haggadah, publication of • What ritual foods are needed and who Ma’yan: The Jewish Women’s Project, will provide them? a program of the Jewish Community • What sort of a snack or meal (if any) Center of Manhattan, 1997. will you have, and who will provide it? Women’s Seder Sourcebook: Rituals Note: Keep in mind that during and Readings for Use at the Passover Passover, traditional girls will require a Seder, edited by Sharon Cohen kosher-for-Passover home/institution Anisfeld, Tara Mohr, and Catherine and fully kosher food. Before Passover, Spector (Woodstock, VT: Jewish Lights some will abstain from eating matzah Publishing, 2003). or foods containing matzah meal until y Secure several creative the first seder (but they may eat egg hagadot for the girls to use matzah). in the “Explore” exercise. • Do you want to invite mothers, sisters, and other female relatives and There are several that may be friends to this seder? available to you, including: y Send a reminder card or A Different Night: The Family Participation Haggadah and Leader’s email, with date, time, Guide for A Different Night by Noam location, and, if necessary, Zion and David Dishon (Jerusalem: directions. Ask girls to bring Shalom Hartman Institute, 1997). hagadot and any assigned A Night of Questions: A Passover seder contributions. If you Haggadah by Joy Levitt and Michael participated in Miriam: Her Strassfeld (Elkins Park, PA: The Life and Legacy last Nisan, Reconstructionist Press, 2000). invite the girls to bring their See especially “Opening The Door for Miriam” on page 160, which focuses on Miriam’s Cups for use at your the role of women past, present, and seder. If guests are to be future. invited, let them know A Passover Haggadah as Commented and request an RSVP. Upon by Elie Wiesel, edited by Marion Every Month Wiesel and illustrated by Mark Podwal y (NY: Touchstone, 1993). Read all materials.

3 Nisan Ruach: Year 2 Nisan A Girls’ Seder

COPY HANDOUTS Ritual Foods y One copy per participant: Grape juice y y Greens Essence of Nisan y y Salt water Copy any additional short y handouts you will use to Matzah supplement the hagadot. y Maror (horseradish) Please make sure to cite y your source on each H. aroset handout. For your y Roasted egg convenience—and your y Shank bone or substitute (a records—you may wish to roasted beet is often used) list the handouts here: y y Second bitter herb for ______seder plate, if needed y ______(e.g., romaine lettuce) y ______y ______y ASSEMBLE MATERIALS ______A Simple Passover “Meal” Special Supplies (Consider raw vegetables, hard- One for each participant: boiled eggs, a potato kugel or y Hagadah “Passover Pizza,” and a simple dessert) y Wine/juice glass y ______y Water glass y ______y Plate y ______y Napkin y ______y Cutlery, if needed y Stock Supplies ______y y Rosh H. odesh Cloth (and fabric ______markers if part of your ritual) Ritual Objects y Rosh H.odesh candle(s), y Tablecloth candleholder(s), matches y y Candles Group Guidelines poster y Seder plate y Kippot (if group members y Matzah plate and cover choose to wear them when y eating or learning) Kos Eliahu y y Music and player to use during Kos Miriam craft or writing activities y Salt water bowl(s) y Pens and pencils y ______y Water-based fine point markers y ______y Scissors y Snacks and utensils 4 Nisan Ruach: Year 2 Nisan A Girls’ Seder Gathering Plan GATHER Beruh.ot Haba’ot: Coming Together, Creating Sacred Space Welcome girls to the meeting for Rosh H. odesh Nisan as they sit around the Rosh H. odesh Cloth. If applicable, process “Bring It Home” suggestions from the previous month. Facilitator’s Tip Distribute an Essence of Nisan handout to each participant. If a participant Ask a volunteer to lead the group in singing or reciting the “Creative has not had a seder experience, Prayer for the New Month” as the host girl lights the Rosh H. odesh candle. encourage her to Ask for a volunteer to read and model her response to the opening sharing: listen to the stories to gain insight from Families may have widely differing practices in observing the experiences of others—perhaps she Passover. I will start and then I invite each of you to share will initiate a seder a favorite Passover memory. G in the future. At the conclusion, note the similarities and/or range of responses and affirm the girls’ contributions. EXPLORE Nah.aloteynu Koloteynu: Our Inheritance, Our Voices Hagadot of Our Own Acknowledge the shared stories of Passover preparation and participation, whether they were described as fun or tedious (or both), as important family experiences. Draw upon examples, if given, or solicit suggestions for any innovations to the seder that might bring new meaning and life to the experience. Refer to examples of innovative additions to seder symbols and prayers on the Essence Sheet under “Passover Customs—Adding to the Hagadah” (Matzah of Hope, Miriam’s Cup, prayer from Bergen-Belsen, etc.). Challenge the girls to imagine that they are in charge of the seder this year. What might they do the same? What might they do differently? Encourage them to think of creative ideas to enhance the seder’s themes, increase participation, and promote the accessibility of the text—recommending or creating poems, songs, skits, interactive activities, or discussion questions. Break the group into pairs, giving each girl a Creative Seder handout. Make sure each pair has at least two hagadot, ideally a traditional one and a creative one (sharing if necessary). Ask that one girl in each pair select a modality and that the other choose the portion of the seder they will embellish together. They may also note any readings or activities that they find in the hagadot that they would like to include.

5 Nisan Ruach: Year 2 Allow the pairs to design their innovation and then share their idea with the whole group. Suggest that the girls use the back of their handouts to record the ideas that are shared. DO Na’aseh: Participate and Process Conduct the seder, incorporating as many of the ideas generated by the girls as feasible. BRING IT HOME Leh.teyh. Vadereh.: Take It With You Encourage the girls to introduce some of the ritual ideas that they recorded on the handout at the seder that they attend. BEFORE YOU LEAVE Confirm the next meeting place and time. If you intend to use Iyar Bet, which addresses the topic of stress, tell this plan to the girls and invite suggestions for a fun “stress-buster” activity, e.g., a game of Twister, charades, or simply dancing to music. Agree on an activity and determine who will facilitate the activity and who will bring any necessary equipment, such as a game or CD. STILL TO DO! 1 Enter notes on this gathering in the Monthly Log. 2 Determine the next month’s topic and activities by reading through the Sourcebook options or creating something in response to group needs. Be sure to check the Before the Gathering sheet for any: • special preparations, such as arranging for a guest presenter or purchasing materials; • special space requirements, such as for a craft project or movement activity; or • reminders to the girls, such as bringing something to the meeting. 3 At least three weeks before the next meeting: • Call all the girls who volunteered to host throughout the year to confirm dates and, if necessary, obtain directions. Let them know that you will contact them again closer to their hosting dates. • Call the host family/institutional sponsor to reconfirm date, time, and any special requirements, as indicated in next month’s Before the Gathering. • Make food arrangements in keeping with kashrut and allergy concerns. (Check next month’s Essence Sheet for suggested foods.) Speak with the designated host girl to explore appropriate leadership opportunities, from sharing responsibility for confirming attendance to selecting a topic or facilitating an activity. • Send reminders to the girls, adding any instructions concerning special preparations or things to bring.

6 Nisan Ruach: Year 2 ROSH H.ODESH: IT’S A GIRL THING! Monthly Log Form Facilitator(s):______

Gathering Plan Themes (if different from printed Gathering Plan): ______

The “host girl” was ______and she participated by: Year: 20______Nisan ______Ruach: Year 2 ______

Topics/activities that worked well: ______

Topics/activities that worked poorly: ______

Topics or ideas for future gatherings: ______

Personal or group dynamics issues that arose in the group: ______

Carry-over ideas and tasks for next month (or this month next year): ______

Groups and partners that were assigned (track so that dynamics can be mixed up at each gathering): ______

7 Nisan Ruach: Year 2 ©. 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All rights reserved. and Row,and 5-9. 1985), York:Harper (New Commentary & Guide A Holidays: Jewish The Strassfeld, Michael from heavily draws Passovercustoms Passoverof and presentation Our

it is customary to gather in families or groups for groups or families in gather to customary is it seders.Participatingin (or bone shank roasted a egg, roasted greens,a fresh h plate— seder the on objects the and matzah, Passoverthe tell story,wine,to including liberation slaveryand spring, of symbols and seder, laid out in the seder,in out laid PassoverThe night. second the on seder a hold also families traditionalseder.Diaspora, a the In Nisan 8 . aroset symbolic equivalent), and bitter herbs. bitter and equivalent), symbolic Giving Pesachfully. celebrate and matzah obtain Jewsmay poor Passoverbeforetzedakah that give so people (a sweet paste that reminds us of mortar), of us reminds that paste sweet (a Refraining from eating or owning or Refrainingeating from to a local food bank! food local a to items appropriate donate hametz, of home your physicallyrid you If freedom. of pursuit the from back us holding anything ourselvesfromliberating our symbolize can Removinghametz Ma’ot H Ma’ot Aries, the TALEH (ram) freedom and liberation. and freedom of seeds and crop summer the for Nisan—seeds in planted are seeds spiritual physicaland Both Spring). H and Month) First (The Harishon two additional names: H names: additional two TorahThe Months. the Nisan gives YearNew the as knownof is it so calendar lunar Jewish the of month first the is Nisan Essence of Nisan of Essence H ROSH . hagadah odesh Ha’aviv (The Month of Month (The Ha’aviv odesh Pesach (The Holiday of Spring), of Holiday (The communities for an extraas day.)knowan also for Pesachis communities Diasporamany in 21st(and sevendays,the Nisan throughfor of Liberation), and Liberation), Bread). It is marked by many household and community customs: community and household manyby marked is It Bread). . itim On the first night of Pesach,of night first the On . ODESH: IT’S A GIRL THING! GIRL A IT’S ODESH: (Wheat Money) (Wheat , includes rituals includes , (Passover) H . ag Hamatzot ag . . Many . odesh begins on the 15th of Nisan and continues and Nisan of 15th the on begins Zeman H Zeman , h . ametz (The Holiday of the Unleavenedthe of Holiday (The . eyruteynu (leavenedbread) Rosh H Rosh On RoshH On RoshH Moon. New the sanctify to ment command- receivedthe Israelites received as a free nation! free a receivedas we commandment first the was it . . odesh Nisan is special. is Nisan odesh odesh is so important that important so is odesh (The Season of our of Season (The . odesh Nisan, the Nisan, odesh . H . ag Ha’aviv ag more Nisan! more ˇ NISAN, CONTINUED Nisan, Continued

ADDING TO THE HAGADAH In recent years, new symbols have been added at some seders, including: • an additional ceremonial “Matzah of Hope” to remind us of Jews still living under repressive governments; • an orange on the seder plate to signify women taking new, fulfilling roles in Jewish communal life; and • special objects to increase awareness of the role of Miriam and other women in the Exodus: Tambourines. After the miracle of the waters parting when the Israelites crossed the sea, the Torah says: “And Miriam the prophet, the sister of Aaron, took a timbrel in her hand; and all the women went out after her with timbrels, dancing” (Exodus 15:20). Some families include tambourines on their seder tables for use during the songs and rituals of the seder. Kos Miriam (Miriam’s Cup) is a new ritual object for the seder table that has been introduced to remind us of women’s important role in redemption. Just as Elijah’s Cup, filled with wine, expresses our hope for peace in a Messianic future, Miriam’s Cup, filled with spring water, expresses our gratitude for the miracles of the past and present. The water reminds us of the river beside which Miriam watched Moses, the Red Sea beside which she danced, and the legendary well that accompanied her in the desert. Many hagadot have also added special prayers for the liberation of still- repressed people (such as for African-Americans in the 1960s, for Soviet Jews during the 1970s and 1980s, or for Jews remaining in Ethiopia today) and to celebrate the heroism of freedom fighters (such as during the uprising of the Warsaw Ghetto, or Nelson Mandela’s campaign for equality in South Africa). As one example, in 1944, the Jews in the concentration camp of Bergen-Belsen had no matzah for Pesach. Under the circumstances, the rabbis among them decided that eating leavened bread was permissible and that they should recite the following kavanah before meals during Passover: Our Father in Heaven, behold, it is evident and known to you that it is our desire to do your will and to celebrate the Festival of Pesach by eating matzah and by observing the prohibition of hametz. But our hearts are pained that the enslavement prevents us from eating matzah, and we are in danger of our lives. Behold, we are ready to fulfill your commandment: ‘And you shall live by them and not die by them.’ Therefore, our prayer to you is that you may keep us alive and save us and rescue us speedily so that we may observe your commandments and do your will and serve you with a perfect heart. Amen.* Saving the Afikomen. There is a folk tradition that the afikomen (a piece of matzah saved at the beginning of the seder for dessert) is an amulet for good luck. Some people save a piece of it for the entire year as a reminder that the work of liberation is not finished.

* Joy Levitt and Michael Strassfeld, A Night of Questions: A Passover Haggadah (Elkins Park, PA: The Reconstructionist Press, 2000), 111.

. © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. 9 Nisan Ruach: Year 2 Nisan A Girls’ Seder Creative Seder

To Explore or Add to One of These

• Candle Lighting • Four Cups of Wine • Karpas: spring greens dipped in salt water • Yah.atz: breaking the middle matzah and hiding the afikomen • Four Questions • Magid: telling the Exodus story • Four Children Create or Find One of These • Ten Plagues • Dayeynu • Explaining Pesach Sacrifice, Matzah, Dance and Maror • Halleluyah Discussion Question • Eating Matzah, Maror, and Hillel Sandwich Folktale • Redeeming and eating the afikomen • Birkat Hamazon: blessings after the meal Game • Miriam’s Cup

Interactive Activity • Elijah’s Cup • Pour Out Your Wrath Movement • Next Year in Jerusalem

Original Prayer

Poem

Skit

Song

Story © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. 10 Nisan Ruach: Year 2

Iyar Teen Stress? Oh, Yes! At a Glance In Iyar Ruach, we acknowledge the stress teens experience and examine the negative impact of unmanaged stress. Participants are guided to identify stress-reduction strategies from their own experiences and from Jewish practice. They learn and try out several stress-management techniques.

GOALS ACTIVITIES • To help participants recognize • Opening and Warm-Up stress and its physical, • Teen Stress and Its Effects emotional, and behavioral Small-group brainstorming; impact on them full-group discussion • To promote the use of • Stress Busters positive coping strategies Brainstorming solutions and to manage stress practicing “no stress self-talk” • Mania and Massage Stress-reduction activities • Torah Tips for Stress Reduction Reflection and discussion • Closing Chanting Elohay Neshamah or Shema, and reciting the traditional “Prayer for the New Month”

2 Iyar Ruach: Year 2 Iyar Teen Stress? Oh, Yes! Before the Gathering

PREPARE ASSEMBLE MATERIALS Special for This Month Special Supplies y When reading materials, y Shefa Gold tape Tzuri pay special attention to the (optional) No Stress Self-talk handout, y Newsprint pad the exercise in “Reflect,” y and the sample list of Jewish Markers (preferably Practices and their effects water-based) under the second “Explore.” y Easel for newsprint pad y Confirm prior arrangements (optional) regarding the stress-buster Stock Supplies activity. y y Rosh H.odesh Cloth (and Learn Elohay Neshamah fabric markers if part of chant from Shefa Gold’s your ritual) tape Tzuri, available at y www.rabbishefagold.com. Rosh H.odesh candle(s), Alternatively, practice candleholder(s), matches chanting the Shema “mantra- y Group Guidelines poster style,” as described in the y “Closing.” Kippot (if group members choose to wear them when Every Month y eating or learning) Read all materials. y y Music and player to use Secure an appropriate during craft or writing gathering location. activities y Send a reminder card y Pens and pencils or email, with date, time, y location, and, if necessary, Water-based fine point directions. markers y y Arrange for appropriate meal Scissors or snacks. y Snacks and utensils COPY HANDOUTS One copy per participant: y Essence of Iyar y No Stress Self-talk y Elohay Neshamah (if using this chant option in the Closing Ritual)

3 Iyar Ruach: Year 2 Iyar Teen Stress? Oh, Yes! Gathering Plan GATHER Beruhot Haba’ot: Coming Together, Creating Sacred Space Facilitator’s . Tip G Set up newsprint Welcome girls to the meeting for Rosh Hodesh Iyar as they sit around the on easel, armchair, . or window sill so that Rosh H.odesh Cloth. participants can see If applicable, process “Bring It Home” suggestions from the previous month. notes as they are taken. Distribute an Essence of Iyar handout to each participant. Ask a volunteer to lead the group in singing or reciting the “Creative Prayer for the New Month” as the host girl lights the Rosh H. odesh candle. Invite the girls to identify the connection between the snacks and the themes of the months. Compare their responses to the “Food” section on the Essence Sheet. Ask for a volunteer to recite the appropriate food blessing. (See Blessings sheet in binder pocket.) Ask for another volunteer to record the responses to today’s opening question. What is one word or phrase that describes the experience of adolescence? At the conclusion, note the similarities and/or range of responses and affirm the girls’ contributions. EXPLORE Nah.alateynu, Koloteynu: Our Inheritance, Our Voices Teen Stress and its Effects Connect this month’s discussion of adolescence with the theme of the month by asking a girl to read the fourth “Fast Fact” on the Essence Sheet, which begins: “Iyar links….” Process the responses on the newsprint, acknowledging that adolescence is both an exciting and a stressful time. Explain that at this meeting we Facilitator’s will explore stress, its impact on us, and stress-management techniques. Tip Divide the participants into two groups, Alef and Bet. Ask Group Alef Be sure to visit both groups to to list things that are stressful for teens and Group Bet to list healthy encourage them ways of dealing with the stress they experience. Encourage each group and help focus their to brainstorm as many examples as they can think of. Give each group efforts to develop newsprint and markers with which to record their lists. Allow five to ten expansive lists. G Prompt as necessary. minutes for the groups to complete their tasks. Call the full group together and ask Group Alef to present its list, letting Group Bet know that it will have an opportunity to present its list later in the gathering.

4 Iyar Ruach: Year 2 Ask: What is your reaction to this list? Does it surprise you in any way? Is there anything you would add to the list? Acknowledge the degree to which teens are challenged and stressed in their day-to-day lives. Invite the group to consider the ways in which they believe these stresses * Our discussion of stress have an impact on their lives.* management draws from Stress Management for Ask: What are some physical signs of stress? Dummies by Allen Elkin Signs may include lack of energy, headaches, stomachaches, (Foster City, CA: IDG Books Worldwide, Inc., muscle tension, over-eating, loss of appetite, skin problems, 1999). and changes in sleep habits. Health problems, such as asthma and allergies, may be stress-related, as are some heart attacks and strokes in adults. What are some psychological signs of stress? Signs may include changes in mood, irritability, withdrawing from others, lashing out at others, depression, increased use of alcohol and drugs. How might stress affect our relationships? Stress can make us easily annoyed, short-tempered, critical, overreactive, and generally difficult to get along with. Are there any positive things about stress? Can you give examples? Moderate stress can motivate, such as in tests or athletic competitions. Using the group’s examples, acknowledge the impact stress has on our bodies and our minds, and on how we interact with others. Point out that neglecting to find healthy ways to reduce stress causes some people to seek relief by abusing cigarettes, drugs, and alcohol. Emphasize the fact that alcohol and drugs may temporarily mask feelings of stress, but they don’t erase emotional and physical anxiety. Alcohol is a depressant. The nicotine found in cigarettes speeds up the heart, increases blood pressure, and interferes with our ability to reduce stress. Stress affects our bodies, our souls, and our relationships. REFLECT A little stress can be Nidrosh: Seeking Meaning motivating; too much can be devastating to Stress Busters our self-esteem and Refer the girls back to the newsprint listing the stresses they experience. functioning. On the top of the page(s), write the heading “Drain.” Point out that the stress that results from the expectations of school, parents, peers, and ourselves drains our well-being. Explain that since the stressors we experience serve to drain our energy, we need to find ways to replenish ourselves. Invite Group Bet to share its list of ways to cope with the types of stressors that Group Alef identified.

5 Iyar Ruach: Year 2 Ask: What is your reaction to this list? Which list is longer? How would you interpret that? Is there anything you would add? Prompt as necessary to help the group develop as full a list as possible, including: listen to music, talk to a friend, take a bath, write in a journal, get some exercise. If appropriate, remind the girls of the visual imagery meditation they did in Shevat and add it to the list. Write the heading “Replenish” to the top of the page(s), and point out that just as the stressors can drain us, the activities on this list can replenish our energy and resilience. Add to this list “No Stress Self-talk” and explain: A big part of stress is the negative things we say to ourselves in reaction to situations. A “No Stress Self-talk” involves deliberately replacing the negative/fear talk we often play in our heads with positive coping statements. If, for example, instead of saying to ourselves, “This is terrible,” we were to say, “Well, it’s not what I hoped for, but it could be worse,” we would reduce rather than escalate our stress response. Distribute the No Stress Self-talk handout and ask each participant to suggest a thought or phrase she has used or might use. If helpful, she can simply select a statement from the handout that feels right to her. Referring to the handout, point out that one strategy of self-talk is to use positive coping statements before, during, and after stressful situations. Invite the girls to tailor the coping statements on the handout to fit a few of the examples of stressors offered by the group. For example, if the group identified “tons of homework” as a stressor, they might suggest the following coping statements: Before (beginning homework): • I’ve managed to get all of my work done on time before. • I can deal with this pressure. During (doing the homework): Unless we find ways to “recharge our batteries,” • There are only three more pages to read. stress can deplete the • I may not have answered that question perfectly, but I’m doing energy we need to fully participate in activities the best I can. and events around us. After (completing the assignment): Stress is caused as • I did it! much by our response to events or situations • All right! Now I’ve earned some free time! as by the situations themselves. If we can Conclude with the Life Lessons in the sidebar. change how we think about something, we can alter its stressful effects on us.

6 Iyar Ruach: Year 2 DO Na’aseh: Participate and Process

Facilitator’s Mania and Massage Tip Point out that another great “stress buster” is to do things we enjoy and Notice the time you to be playful and silly. Invite your volunteer facilitator to lead your group begin this segment in the fun activity selected by your group at the end of last month’s and calculate about gathering (e.g., a game of Twister, or learning and doing some Israeli twenty minutes for or popular dancing). G the remainder of the gathering plan in Conclude this part of the meeting by asking the girls to rejoin the circle order to determine and to participate in a “Circle Massage” in which each girl massages the how much time to allot to these neck and shoulders of the girl next to her in the circle. This will calm and activities. refocus the girls for the final activity and closing ritual. EXPLORE Nah.alateynu, Koloteynu: Our Inheritance, Our Voices Torah Tips for Stress Reduction Share the following quotation: Through dancing and the movements you make with your body, you awaken joy within yourself. Explain that this is an observation made by Rabbi Nachman of Bratslav, an early Hassidic leader. Point out that Judaism and Jewish rituals provide many powerful opportunities for replenishment if we approach them with that intention. Return to the “Replenish” list and if there is no such reference, add “Jewish rituals and practices” as a means of addressing stress. Ask the girls to suggest examples of Jewish rituals that can be helpful in reducing stress and to say why they work. Ask for a volunteer to record their responses. Prompt as necessary, by pointing out that at the heart of Jewish tradition is the observance of Shabbat, which dramatically emphasizes the importance of rest and renewal as a “time-out” from our hectic lives. Other examples include: Closing our eyes as we recite the Shema. Closing our eyes allows us to “shut out” the stressors of the outside world and to enjoy a moment of inwardness. Reciting the Shema can clear our minds of the “noise” of stress. Focusing on God or the unity of all life can help us put things in perspective. Reciting blessings for everything we do. This traditional Jewish practice encourages us to slow down and be appreciative of life’s gifts, helping us to replace feelings of anxiety with feelings of gratitude.

7 Iyar Ruach: Year 2 Reciting the silent Amidah or other personal prayer. Personal prayer provides the opportunity to say aloud what is upsetting us and causing us stress. Getting out our feelings can dramatically reduce stress. Offering our problems to God or seeking the strength to better cope with them can make us feel less alone and afraid. Having faith. A belief in God, however we interpret this, can help us feel less alone in our struggles. Participating in tikun olam (repair of the world) social-action activities. Studies show that people who act on behalf of others live longer than those who do not, are less likely to be depressed, and feel more satisfied with their lives. Conclude by highlighting the Life Lessons in the sidebar: Jewish rituals encour- age reflection, gratitude, and community commit- BEFORE YOU LEAVE ment, and provide a Allow girls to add new designs to the Rosh Hodesh Cloth (optional). meaningful antidote to . the stress in our lives. Confirm the next meeting place and time. Judaism calls on us to honor ourselves CLOSING RITUAL because we are said to be created betzelem Beruh.a At Betzeyteyh.: Blessings as You Go on Your Way Elohim—in the image of God; finding healthy Point out that slow chanting of Jewish prayers can be very relaxing, ways to reduce our particularly if we listen quietly to the silence in between the words stress is a sign of self- and after the chant is completed. respect and love. Lead the girls in one of the following: A slow version of the Shema. Ask the girls to close their eyes and to join you as you chant the Shema slowly, taking time to pause between each word. Before you start chanting, ask the girls to remain silent for a minute after the chant is completed. Explain that you will break the silence.

Shema yisra’el, adonay eloheynu, adonay eh. ad Listen, Israel: The Eternal One is our God, the Eternal One alone. or Chanting of Elohay Neshamah. Distribute the Elohay Neshamah handout and review the words and their meaning. Teach the chant. Explain that the power of the chant lies in its repetition, which both slows and calms us, and in listening to the silence that follows. Invite the girls to close their eyes and to join you as you chant Elohay Neshamah repeatedly. Before you start chanting, ask the girls to remain silent for a minute after the chant is completed. Explain that you will break the silence. Recite the traditional “Prayer for the New Month.”

8 Iyar Ruach: Year 2 STILL TO DO! 1 Enter notes on this gathering in the Monthly Log. 2 Determine the next month’s topic and activities by reading through the Sourcebook options or creating something in response to group needs. Be sure to check the Before the Gathering sheet for any: • special preparations, such as arranging for a guest presenter or purchasing materials; • special space requirements, such as for a craft project or movement activity; or • reminders to the girls, such as bringing something to the meeting. 3 At least three weeks before the next meeting: • Call all the girls who volunteered to host throughout the year to confirm dates and, if necessary, obtain directions. Let them know that you will contact them again closer to their hosting dates. • Call the host family/institutional sponsor to reconfirm date, time, and any special requirements, as indicated in next month’s Before the Gathering. • Make food arrangements in keeping with kashrut and allergy concerns. (Check next month’s Essence Sheet for suggested foods.) • Speak with the designated host girl to explore appropriate leadership opportunities, from sharing responsibility for confirming attendance to selecting a topic or facilitating an activity. • Send reminders to the girls, adding any instructions concerning special preparations or things to bring.

9 Iyar Ruach: Year 2 ROSH H.ODESH: IT’S A GIRL THING! Monthly Log Form Facilitator(s):______

Gathering Plan Themes (if different from printed Gathering Plan): ______

The “host girl” was ______and she participated by: Year: 20______Iyar ______Ruach: Year 2 ______

Topics/activities that worked well: ______

Topics/activities that worked poorly: ______

Topics or ideas for future gatherings: ______

Personal or group dynamics issues that arose in the group: ______

Carry-over ideas and tasks for next month (or this month next year): ______

Groups and partners that were assigned (track so that dynamics can be mixed up at each gathering): ______

10 Iyar Ruach: Year 2 ROSH H.ODESH: IT’S A GIRL THING! Essence of Iyar

Taurus Iyar links the months of Nisan and Sivan through Iyar Foods Shor (the bull) the counting of the Omer, the forty-nine days an animal known between the holidays of Passover and Shavuot. Since manna was first for its strength As we count the Omer, we experience our own given in Iyar, foods that and determination growth and the growth of the Jewish people. In represent manna are won- derful for this month. The Nisan, we became a nation, born in the Exodus Talmud says that manna from Egypt. Iyar represents our adolescence as tasted different we struggle with our newfound freedom to to different people: to become a mature nation ready to receive the young people, it tasted Torah in the month of Sivan. like bread; to elderly peo- ple, it tasted like oil In the Bible, the month of Iyar is called “Ziv,” (a delicacy in the desert); meaning radiance. The month of Iyar is and to infants, it tasted commonly referred to as the month of natural like honey (Yoma 75b). healing, for its name is an acronym for Ani In many Jewish Adonay Rofeh, “I am God your Healer” (Exodus communities, people eat 15:26). Tradition teaches that the well that two challahs on Friday night to represent the followed Miriam the prophet first appeared double portion of manna during Iyar, as did manna, the food that that the Israelites received sustained the ancient Israelites during their on Friday nights so they desert journey. would not have to forage for it on Shabbat (Exodus 16:22–25). In Iyar, try eating challah (or any other bread you enjoy) dipped in olive oil or honey. Water can remind us of Miriam’s Well, which tradition says made its first appearance in Iyar. It’s also a great idea to eat Middle Eastern foods, such as falafel, humus, and Israeli salad, in honor of Yom Ha’atzma’ut, Israel’s Independence Day, which falls on the 5th of Iyar.

עוֹמñֶר

During Iyar, the seeds that were planted in Nisan are determinedly forcing their way through the earth toward the sun, from darkness to light. The Israelite people who left the darkness of Egypt are traveling toward the illumination of Sinai. Omer . © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. 11 Iyar Ruach: Year 2 Iyar Teen Stress? Oh, Yes! No Stress Self-talk

Stress is caused as much by our response to situations as by the situation itself. If we can consciously change how we think about something, we can minimize its stressful effects. Examples of such positive self-talk are: I can handle this. Let it go; it’s not worth it. I can choose how I respond. Will this matter a year from now? This is an adventure! Just because someone says something, it doesn’t mean it’s true. This will pass. I don’t have to get sucked into someone else’s anger. I’m not going to let this get the better of me.

When anticipating a stressful event, you can use positive self-talk before, during, and after it: Before the situation, you can say to yourself: I’m only going to say positive things to myself about this. It’s OK to be nervous. I can deal with this. I’ve dealt with similar situations successfully. It will be over before long. During the situation, you can say to yourself: Take one step at a time. I can do this if I set my mind to it. Just relax. I’m doing my best; that’s all I can do. I’m almost through with this. After the situation, you can say to yourself: I got through it! I knew I could do it. I can relax now. I handled things as well as I could. You can talk yourself into and out of much of the stress in your life. Choose wisely! © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. 12 Iyar Ruach: Year 2 ELOHAY NESHAMAH

Elohay neshamah shenatata bi tehorah hi.

My God, the soul you gave me is pure.

Elohay neshamah shenatata bi tehorah hi.

My God, the soul you gave me is pure.

Elohay neshamah shenatata bi tehorah hi.

My God, the soul you gave me is pure.

Elohay neshamah shenatata bi tehorah hi.

My God, the soul you gave me is pure.

Elohay neshamah shenatata bi tehorah hi.

My God, the soul you gave me is pure.

Elohay neshamah shenatata bi tehorah hi.

My God, the soul you gave me is pure.

Elohay neshamah shenatata bi tehorah hi.

My God, the soul you gave me is pure. © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. 13 Iyar Ruach: Year 2

Sivan Caring Communication At a Glance In Sivan Ruach, we explore the complexity of daughter-parent relation- ships and expectations. Participants learn and practice communication and conflict-management techniques that are applicable to all relationships, emphasizing respectful sharing and problem solving.

GOALS ACTIVITIES • To acknowledge the essence • Opening and Warm-Up of the commandment to • The Fifth Commandment “honor” one’s parents as Discussion of Kavod Av Ve’em a behavioral requirement (Honoring One’s Parents) of respect • Saying What You Mean • To enhance appreciation of Without Being Mean the challenges inherent in the Effective Communication daughter-parent relationship Techniques • To identify and practice • Creating Shalom conflict-management in the Home techniques that foster Making a Shalom Bayit Box empathy, respectful dialogue, and compromise • Closing Sharing of boxes and reciting the traditional “Prayer for the New Month”

2 Sivan Ruach: Year 2 Sivan Caring Communication Before the Gathering PREPARE ASSEMBLE MATERIALS Special for This Month Special Supplies y Secure a gathering location y Decorating supplies, such as with appropriate space for paint, rubber stamps and ink a craft project. pads, markers, beads, glue y Every Month Shower curtain or drop cloth y Read all materials. One for each participant: y Send a reminder card y Small- to medium-sized or email, with date, time, wooden box—house- or location, and, if necessary, heart-shaped if available directions. (may be purchased at a y Arrange for appropriate meal craft store or a friendly or snacks. cigar store) y Card stock COPY HANDOUTS y Scissors One copy per participant: Stock Supplies y y Essence of Sivan Rosh H.odesh Cloth (and fabric y markers if part of your ritual) “LIIPPS” y Rosh H.odesh candle(s), One copy per participant, candleholder(s), matches on card stock and cut; y Group Guidelines poster or, on paper, cut, and pasted y onto index cards: Kippot (if group members choose to wear them when y Discussion Cards eating or learning) y Music and player to use during craft or writing activities y Pens and pencils y Water-based fine point markers y Snacks and utensils REVIEW FACILITATOR’S RESOURCE y Clarifying Feelings

3 Sivan Ruach: Year 2 Sivan Facilitator’s Resource Clarifying Feelings

Human beings are capable of a wide range of both positive and negative emotions or feelings. In conflict management, knowing what you are feeling and being able to name it is an important step. A few key facts about emotions: “Clarifying Feelings” 1. We often feel more than one thing at once. Sometimes we feel © 2003 Rivkah Walton. Used by permission. contradictory emotions; this is called ambivalence. For instance, in All rights reserved. receiving an award, we may be pleased at being recognized and afraid that others will be jealous at the same time. 2. Emotions that we are familiar with or comfortable with may mask other emotions. For instance, anger may hide fear, if we believe it is safer to express anger. For some people, sadness masks anger, if anger has had negative consequences in their past. 3. Being accurate about the intensity of one’s feeling is helpful to both oneself and others. So that one neither exaggerates nor understates one’s emotions, it is helpful to have a wide emotional vocabulary. For instance, fear can be experienced as feeling apprehensive…scared…terrified, and many states in between. Recognizing and expressing the intensity accurately can de-escalate tension and give greater insight into one’s feelings. 4. What we feel in a given situation is largely based on how we think about it. If we believe we are in danger or that our needs are not being met, we may feel angry, afraid, sad, or hurt. If, in the same situation, we perceive that we have control over what is happening or that our needs will be met, we may feel excited, happy, calm, or confident. For more information about emotions and how 5. Beliefs, ideas, and opinions are not feelings, even if they are introduced to express them with the words “I feel….” For example, people often say things like: in helpful ways, see “I really feel we should go to the movies.” www.cnvc.org the web site of the “I feel like going for a walk.” Center for Nonviolent “I feel dissed.” Communication, “I feel you are an idiot!” based on the work of Marshall B. Rosenberg. A simple rule is that if you can follow “feel” with “that” or “like,” the rest The web site is a thought, not an emotion. So, these are really thoughts, ideas, www.nonviolentcommuni or preferences: cation.com has chapter summaries, exercises, “I really feel [that] we should go to the movies.” and other substantive “I feel like going for a walk.” material from “I feel [that I have been] dissed.” Rosenberg’s book, “I feel [that] you are an idiot!” Nonviolent Communi- cation: A Language But emotions are expressed: of Compassion “I’m disappointed.” (Encenitas, CA: Puddle “I feel angry.” Dancer Press, 1999). “I’m amused.” “I feel proud.”

4 Sivan Ruach: Year 2 Sivan Caring Communication Gathering Plan GATHER Beruh.ot Haba’ot: Coming Together, Creating Sacred Space Welcome girls to the meeting for Rosh H. odesh Sivan as they sit around the Rosh H. odesh Cloth. If applicable, process “Bring It Home” suggestions from the previous month. Distribute an Essence of Sivan handout to each participant. Note that the Ten Commandments are read in Sivan on Shavuot and that today’s gathering will explore the fifth commandment, kavod av ve’em (honoring one’s parents). Acknowledge that while this discussion explores relationships with Facilitator’s Tip parents, we do not assume that everyone has or lives with a mother and a father. The ideas and skills we will learn still apply. Make sure your language throughout Ask a volunteer to lead the group in singing or reciting the “Creative the discussion indicates Prayer for the New Month” as the host girl lights the Rosh Hodesh candle. your awareness that . “parents” come in Invite the girls to identify the connection between the snacks and the many combinations, themes of the months. Compare their responses to the “Food” section on including: Essence Sheet. • one or more birth the parents; Ask for a volunteer to recite the appropriate food blessing. (See Blessings • a single parent; • step-parents; sheet in binder pocket.) • partners of birth Invite one of the girls to kick off the discussion by posing and responding parents; • adoptive parents; to the opening question: • foster parents; What are some ways in which parents can honor or convey • same-sex couple. respect for their children? At the conclusion, note the similarities and/or range of responses and affirm the girls’ contributions. G EXPLORE Nah.alateynu, Koloteynu: Our Inheritance, Our Voices The Fifth Commandment: Kavod Av Ve’em (Honoring One’s Parents) Process responses and acknowledge that “honoring” one another should go both ways. Share that a famous rabbi, Rabbi Shimon Bar Yohai, thought that honoring one’s parents is the most difficult of all mitzvot (Tanh. umah, Ekev 2). Ask: Do you agree or disagree? Why? How would you define the word “honor”? Why do you suppose the language of the commandment k’vod av va’em says honor rather than love our parents?

5 Sivan Ruach: Year 2 The command to “honor our parents” is a behavioral requirement, not an emotional one. Although feelings toward parents can vacillate, we must always treat them with respect and honor, even when we don’t see eye-to-eye. Ask: What are some ways that kids can demonstrate k’vod av va’em? Can you think of an important exception to the requirement to honor your parents? Make the important point that there is a very notable exception in the case of abuse. If one’s parents are abusive, it is vital that this information be shared with a trusted adult to get support and help. Share the following teaching from Jewish tradition: “Honor departs when it is sought by the undeserving.” (Midrash Psalms 16) DO Na’aseh: Participate and Process Relationships with parents are very com- Say What You Mean Without Being Mean: plex. As we grow up and move from com- Effective Communication Techniques plete dependency to Have the girls pair off. independence, it is Give each pair the Discussion Cards featuring the following: common to resist parental influences • One thing I do that makes my parent(s) proud might be… and perspectives as • The behavior my parent(s) would most like me to change we develop our own. might be… During one’s teen • Something I appreciate most about my parent(s) is… years, conflicts with parents are common. • Something I wish my parent(s) would do differently is… Tensions often develop Allow about fifteen minutes for this discussion, visiting the pairs as they around rules, limits, talk. Periodically inform them of the remaining time to responsibilities, and Facilitator’s help ensure that they get to all the discussion points. expectations. H Tip Teens often report Facilitating this feeling misunderstood Bring the girls back together to share thoughts and discussion requires by their parents. reactions. a delicate balance Parents commonly of allowing girls to struggle with the Ask: What do you think is the hardest thing about share and helping to protect family privacy goals and expectations parenting a teenager? and integrity. The they have for their kids What is the one thing you would most like your goal is to acknowledge and with their fears challenges that regarding safety when parents to understand about being a teenager? exist from both teens desire freedom. Highlight the Life Lessons in the sidebar. parents’ and teens’ Even when kids believe perspectives. that parents are wrong Refer to the earlier questions regarding how people convey or unfair, Judaism respect to one another. Highlight or introduce the importance requires that parents be of speaking respectfully, even when angry or frustrated. treated with respect. Acknowledge that this is not an easy task. Kids deserve love and respect from Distribute the handout and present “LIIPPS” as a tool to maintain their parents, too. respect in the face of disagreement. Explain that “LIIPPS” can remind

6 Sivan Ruach: Year 2 us of the power of words to hurt or to heal, and that each letter (I and P used twice) can remind us of a helpful strategy. Review one letter at explaining demonstrating Facilitator’s a time, and each skill represented in the Tip acronym interactively. G Be sure to clarify Ask the girls to recall the examples they gave in their paired discussions that an “I statement” of “something my parent(s) do that drives me nuts” and apply the LIIPPS requires naming an emotion (e.g., I feel model to several examples. Refer to the sample on the handout as a model. angry, hurt, disap- Then, using the example given by a group member, guide them as follows: pointed, or sad) and not an opinion • Show us the body language you’d use to convey your interest (e.g., I feel that you and attention. are wrong). See the • Can you suggest an open-ended question to clarify or to seek Leader’s Resource, “Clarifying Feelings.” additional information? • Reflect back your understanding of what the speaker is saying and feeling to make sure you “get it.” (No editorializing!) For example, “What I heard you saying was….” and, “It sounds as if you’re feeling….” • Construct an “I statement” using the handout. • Summarize both persons’ views and suggest a compromise. It is important for parents and kids to CREATE talk and listen to one another’s thoughts Ma’aseh Yadeynu: The Works of Our Hands and feelings. Listening with empathy, Creating Shalom in the Home: staying focused and Making Shalom Bayit Boxes clear, and seeking Point out that the concepts and skills we’ve discussed can help create compromise can both shalom bayit, the Jewish value of peace in the home. Explain that next express and inspire we will participate in a craft activity in which we create Shalom Bayit respect. Boxes that we will decorate and fill with ideas from today’s discussions. In all relationships we must strive to Begin by asking, “Based on our discussion, what goes into creating a understand the other’s peaceful home?” As needed, help the group generate ideas, including point of view and to “LIIPPS” skills (listening, empathy, joint problem-solving) and such say what we mean attributes as patience and humor. without being mean. Distribute boxes, card stock, and scissors. Have the girls cut the card stock into small pieces that can fit into their boxes. Ask them to write on the slips those behaviors that contribute to shalom bayit. Spread the drop cloth and set up craft supplies on it. Have each girl decorate her box’s exterior and fill the box with the slips of paper on which she’s written. BRING IT HOME Leh.teyh. Vadereh.: Take It With You Encourage the girls to share their projects with their parents and give their parents blank cards, inviting them to contribute ideas to the Shalom Bayit Box. Perhaps they can display the boxes in their homes as a reminder for all to draw on these ideas.

7 Sivan Ruach: Year 2 Challenge the girls to use the LIIPPS communication techniques in their daily interactions. Ask them to notice and report on the outcomes or impact of their efforts at the next meeting. BEFORE YOU LEAVE Allow girls to add new designs to the Rosh H. odesh Cloth (optional). Confirm the next meeting place and time. CLOSING RITUAL Beruh.a At Betzeyteyh.: Blessings as You Go on Your Way Invite the girls to show their boxes and to share one or two shalom bayit cards, preferably each highlighting different themes than those offered by other participants. Recite the traditional “Prayer for the New Month.” STILL TO DO! 1 Enter notes on this gathering in the Monthly Log. 2 Determine the next month’s topic and activities by reading through the Sourcebook options or creating something in response to group needs. Be sure to check the Before the Gathering sheet for any: • special preparations, such as arranging for a guest presenter or purchasing materials; • special space requirements, such as for a craft project or movement activity; or • reminders to the girls, such as bringing something to the meeting. 3 At least three weeks before the next meeting: • Call all the girls who volunteered to host throughout the year to confirm dates and, if necessary, obtain directions. Let them know that you will contact them again closer to their hosting dates. • Call the host family/institutional sponsor to reconfirm date, time, and any special requirements, as indicated in next month’s Before the Gathering. • Make food arrangements in keeping with kashrut and allergy concerns. (Check next month’s Essence Sheet for suggested foods.) • Speak with the designated host girl to explore appropriate leadership opportunities, from sharing responsibility for confirming attendance to selecting a topic or facilitating an activity. • Send reminders to the girls, adding any instructions concerning special preparations or things to bring.

8 Sivan Ruach: Year 2 ROSH H.ODESH: IT’S A GIRL THING! Monthly Log Form Facilitator(s):______

Gathering Plan Themes (if different from printed Gathering Plan): ______

The “host girl” was ______and she participated by: Year: 20______Sivan ______Ruach: Year 2 ______

Topics/activities that worked well: ______

Topics/activities that worked poorly: ______

Topics or ideas for future gatherings: ______

Personal or group dynamics issues that arose in the group: ______

Carry-over ideas and tasks for next month (or this month next year): ______

Groups and partners that were assigned (track so that dynamics can be mixed up at each gathering): ______

9 Sivan Ruach: Year 2 ROSH H.ODESH: IT’S A GIRL THING! Essence of Sivan Gemini—TE’OMIM (twins) Shavuot Customs We can think of the twins as Studying Torah all night long. To stay up the entire (first) symbolizing the two tablets of the night of Shavuot studying Torah is a kabbalistic tradition, covenant given to Moses during coming from the sixteenth-century mystics of Safed, known the month of Sivan. Tradition also as Tikun Leyl Shavuot. teaches that on Rosh H. odesh Sivan, Chanting the Ten Commandments. On Shavuot, it is customary the Israelites camped at the foot of to chant the Ten Commandments with a special trop (tune). The Mount Sinai waiting to receive the Ten Commandments are found in Exodus 20 and Deuteronomy 5, Torah (Exodus 19:6). The Hebrew with minor differences. Here is the version from Deuteronomy: verb used for “camped” is in the I am the LORD your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, the

singular, teaching us that at the sh house of bondage: You shall have no other gods beside Me. Used ety. reserved. moment the Israelites received You shall not make for yourself a sculptured image, any likeness the Torah, they were united of what is in the heavens above, or on the earth below, or in in heart and mind as if a the waters below the earth. You shall not bow down to them single person. or serve them.... You shall not swear falsely by the name of the Lord your God.... Observe the Sabbath day and keep it holy.... Honor your father and your mother.... e Feast of Shavuot (Th You shall not murder. n the sixth Weeks) falls o (a nd o n the You shall not commit adultery. day o f S ivan s- ivan, for Dia You shall not steal. seventh of S nities observing pora commu You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. was originally two days). It , ural holiday You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife. You shall not crave your an agri cult d of the grain neighbor’s house, or his field...or anything that is your neighbor’s. marking the en e g th (Deuteronomy 5:6–18) Excerpted from Tanakh: The Holy Scriptures (Philadelphia: Jewi 1988). Publication ©1988 Society, The Jewish Publication Soci with permission of The Jewish All Publication rights Society. t ( countin harves nning of and the begi Reading Megilat Rut (The Book of Ruth). Megilat Rut tells Omer), ral season, ew agricultu of the great love, loyalty, and devotion between the two the n irst fruits bringing of the f by e Temple. heroines of the story, Naomi and her Moabite daughter-in- the land to th of he law Ruth. It is customary among Ashkenazi (Northern truction of t With the des European) Jews to read Megilat Rut during Shavuot morning 70 CE, the rabbis Temple in services, because of the common themes of the harvest and asized the connection emph the Revela- accepting the yoke of Judaism. of Shavuot with , ount Sinai, which tion on M ok Decorating the synagogue and our homes with roses and the Torah, to according to , ivan. Today fragrant greenery. This custom derives from many different place i n S rates the giv- midrashim (legends) connecting the events at Sinai to spices Shavuot celeb ving of th e ing a nd recei and roses. One midrash says that as each commandment was Torah. given, the world filled with the fragrance of spices.

Sivan Foods It is customary to eat dairy foods on Shavuot. This custom may come from the verse in Shir Hashirim (Song of Songs): “Honey and milk are under your tongue,” which can be understood as comparing the Torah to the sweetness of milk and honey. Try some new cheeses on Shavuot, and indulge in cheesecake, ice cream, and other sweet and creamy desserts! Since Shavuot is a harvest festival, in Israel there is a tradition of eating the first fruits of the season. We invite you to do the same. © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. © 2001-2008 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2008 reserved. Moving Traditions. 10 Sivan Ruach: Year 2 Sivan Caring Communication Discussion Cards

nic nic mu atio mu atio m n m n o o C C

g g

n n

i

i 1 2 r r

a a C

C One thing I do The behavior that makes my parent(s) would my parent(s) proud most like me might be to change might be ______

Sivan Ruach Year 2 Sivan Ruach Year 2 nic nic mu atio mu atio m n m n o o C C

g g

n n

i

i 3 4 r r

a a C

C Something I Something I wish appreciate my parent(s) most about would do my parent(s) is differently is ______

Sivan Ruach Year 2 Sivan Ruach Year 2 © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. 11 Sivan Ruach: Year 2 Sivan Caring Communication Practice the wisdom of Ben Sira LIIPPS: Using Our Words Wisely

L — Listen: Use active and reflective listening skills to understand the thoughts and feelings of the speaker, such as attentive body language, clarifying, and summarizing without judgment. I — Imagine: Imagine the situation from the other person’s point of view. Put yourself in her/his place. What is the other person thinking and feeling? I — “I Statements”: Use “I statements” to state your views without blaming or putting the other person on the defensive. You can calmly and objectively express your feelings by using this formula: I feel....state emotion (hurt, frustrated, etc.) when…describe the problem, behavior, or situation because…explain consequences, so…suggest possible compromise. P — Paraphrase: Summarize your understanding of both viewpoints and check for accuracy. PS — Problem-solve: Jointly brainstorm solutions that will work for both of you.

Try… I understand that you worry when Instead of… I am out at night. You’re afraid that I have to be home by when?! You’re something might happen to me. always treating me like a child! All I feel frustrated when you ask me my friends get to stay out late. You to come home so much earlier than never let me do anything! I’m sick all my friends because it’s like you and tired of all your stupid rules. don’t trust me. Can I suggest a com- You just don’t want me to have any promise? What if I call you and let fun. It’s not fair! Just because you’re you know where I am and that I’m

“Be “Be swift to hear, but with patience make reply.” a worrywart doesn’t mean I have to OK, and then be given some extra be miserable! time to stay out. Does an hour later Ben Sira 5:11 (Israel, seem fair? second century BCE) © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. 12 Sivan Ruach: Year 2

Closing Month Siyum: Celebrating Completion and Confirmation At a Glance

In this Closing Month, we participate in a SIYUM, a Jewish closing celebration held upon completion of text study or writing a Torah scroll. We draw on its traditional features of reflection, anticipation, and celebration, with an added component—appreciation.

GOALS ACTIVITIES • To familiarize participants • Opening and Warm-Up siyum with the ritual of a • Seeing Endings as Beginnings • To highlight and appreciate Explanation of the siyum ritual the scope of topics discussed • Repetition and Remembering over the course of time Discussion of learning together this year and yet to come • To identify topics for future • Letters of Affirmation exploration and to encourage Self-reflection and feedback leadership roles for next year from others • To foster appreciation of self • Grounding Ourselves and others Rock-art craft project • Se’udat Mitzvah Party Closing celebration • Closing Collaborative Rosh H. odesh poem and reciting of the traditional “Prayer for the New Month” or singing/playing Debbie Friedman’s “Kadish D’rabanan.”

2 Closing Month Ruach: Year 2 Closing Month Siyum: Celebrating Completion and Confirmation Before the Gathering PREPARE COPY HANDOUTS y Select craft activity. (See One copy per participant: “Reflect” and “Create” for y Themes at a Glance options.) (Note directions in y Secure a gathering location “Prepare,” above, with appropriate space for before copying.) the craft project and party. y Essence Sheets packet y Send reminder card, asking One copy per participant, girls to bring music, party on cardstock: foods, and drinks. y y Essence Sheets Extract Essence Sheets from Packet Cover the Group Leader’s Manual, add a cover, and package One copy, on card stock and cut; attractively in a folder or or on paper, cut and pasted binder. onto index cards: y y Review the handout Themes Month Cards at a Glance and check off those sessions you have continued conducted this year before duplicating for distribution. y Optional: Learn or review Debbie Friedman’s “Kadish D’rabanan.” (For text, see Facilitator’s Resource B. Recorded on Songs of the Spirit: The Debbie Friedman Collection, available through www.soundswrite.com.)

3 Closing Month Ruach: Year 2 Closing Month Siyum: Celebrating Completion and Confirmation

Stock Supplies ASSEMBLE MATERIALS y Rosh H.odesh Cloth (and Special Supplies fabric markers if part of for This Month your ritual) y Entire Sourcebook, for y Rosh H.odesh candle(s), reference in “Explore” candleholder(s), matches y Drop cloth y Group Guidelines poster y Markers or paints y Kippot (if group members either choose to wear them when y eating or learning) fine-tip permanent y markers or fabric Music and player to use markers in a variety during craft or writing of colors activities y or, if you are painting on Pens and pencils rocks, you can also use: y y Water-based fine point acrylic paints markers y small brushes with y Scissors good points y Snacks and utensils y cups for water to clean brushes between colors y paper towels or rags REVIEW y Camera FACILITATOR’S RESOURCES y Party paper goods y Kadish D’rabanan y Party foods (e.g., special y Follow-up Letter cake) y Optional: guitar or tape/CD for accompanying “Kadish D’rabanan” One for each participant: y Binder or folder for Essence Sheets packet y Pen y Note card or sheet of stationery y Smooth, light-colored rock, approximately three inches wide Three for each participant: y Unlined index cards

4 Closing Month Ruach: Year 2 Closing Month Facilitator’s Resource A KADISH D’RABANAN

For our teachers and their students And the students of their students, We ask for peace and lovingkindness And let us say, Amen.

And for those who study Torah here and everywhere, May they be blessed with all they need, And let us say, Amen.

We ask for peace and lovingkindness From And You Shall be a Blessing. Music and Lyrics And let us say, Amen by Debbie Friedman. ©1988 Deborah Lynn Friedman (ASCAP). Published by Sounds Write Productions, Inc. (ASCAP). Used by permission. All rights reserved. Currently available on Songs of the Spirit: The Debbie Friedman Collection, from www.soundswrite.com.

5 Closing Month Ruach: Year 2 Closing Month Facilitator’s Resource B Follow-up Letter

Your letterhead [Date] Dear [Name], Hi! I hope this note finds you happy and healthy and enjoying your summer. I’m spending my summer [what you’re doing] and it’s been [describe]. I’m looking forward to resuming our Rosh H.odesh: It’s a Girl Thing! gatherings. Enclosed are the photos taken at our siyum celebration— they bring back great memories. You’ll also find the letter you wrote to yourself in the early fall. I’m sure it will be interesting to recall the personal goals you set and to reflect on your efforts to meet those goals. Remember, all life is for growing. I can’t wait to hear about your summer and to continue our monthly gatherings. Our first meeting will tentatively be on [date] at [time], at [place if you know it]—hold the date! [or: I’ll be calling you [when] to get some possible dates and times for our first meeting in the fall.] Until then, enjoy! [signature] [your name]

6 Closing Month Ruach: Year 2 Closing Month Siyum: Celebrating Completion and Confirmation Gathering Plan GATHER Beruh.ot Haba’ot: Coming Together, Creating Sacred Space Welcome girls to the meeting for Rosh H. odesh ______as they sit around the Rosh H. odesh Cloth. If applicable, process “Bring It Home” suggestions from the previous month. Lead the group in singing or reciting the “Creative Prayer for the New Month” as the host girl lights the Rosh H. odesh candle. Acknowledge that this is the final Rosh H. odesh gathering of this cycle and ask: What is the one thing you will miss most about meeting for Rosh H. odesh? At the conclusion, note the similarities and/or range of responses and affirm the girls’ contributions. EXPLORE Nah.alateynu, Koloteynu: Our Inheritance, Our Voices Siyum: Seeing Endings as Beginnings Respond appropriately to the girls’ comments and add your own reflections. Explain that since this gathering is the last one for this cycle, we will honor it in the fashion of a siyum, the Jewish celebration held upon completing a body of work, such as studying a book of the Talmud. A siyum includes: • a discussion of the book completed, • a special kaddish and a prayer reflecting hope for continued study, • the reading of the first few lines of the next book to be studied, and • a se’udat mitzvah, a festive meal that is connected to a religious ceremony or celebration, like that at a bris or wedding. Add that in keeping with this ritual of completion, we will adapt these features for this last session of the year. Begin a review of what your group has learned in the past year by distributing the handout Themes at a Glance, three index cards, and a pen to each girl. Ask the participants to review the handout and select one topic or activity that they particularly enjoyed or that influenced them. Or ask them to think back upon the year and record activities or discussions that influenced them. Ask them to write it on one of the cards, along with the gathering in which it took place (indicate month and Lev or Ruach if they can recall). 7 Closing Month Ruach: Year 2 Collect the cards, sort them by chapter, and, one at a time, read the Facilitator’s G Tip Life Lessons appearing in that gathering plan. You are likely to get After a set of Life Lessons are read, ask: several cards listing the same session. If Do you agree with the Life Lessons that I read? Why or why not? not, you may have to Why are these ideas important? select cards randomly Can you suggest an application of these ideas in your own life? to allow enough time Is there a value statement (Life Lesson) you would add on this topic? for the remaining activities Thank the girls for their thoughtful revisiting of some of the themes of our gatherings. Refer back to the handout and ask the girls to review the topics not discussed this year and to list the six they are most excited about on their second card by month and Lev or Ruach. Ask: What topics appeal to you and why? Are there any additional topics you would like us to explore next year? Ask the girls to note their requests for additional topics and any subjects they would like to revisit on the second card. For groups who are continuing, ask: How might your role change next year to expand your leadership? Invite each girl to write on her third card her name and any task(s) she might like to take on next year. Possible roles include organizing attendance, materials and snacks; monitoring ground rules; suggesting topics; developing activity ideas; implementing those ideas; and facilitating scripted Sourcebook materials. For girls who are graduating, ask: In what ways have you grown and changed through participating in this Rosh H. odesh group? How might you seek to continue this growth in the next stage of your life? Collect the cards and indicate that you will be using their feedback in planning next year’s sessions. REFLECT Nidrosh: Seeking Meaning Repetition and Remembering Point out that having reflected back on our year of learning and growth, and projecting forward to our hopes for next year, we have symbolically reviewed our study and started the next portion, in the manner of a siyum. To that same end, introduce a quick game, with the goal of remembering what has been studied—the months of the Jewish calendar. Ask the girls to arrange themselves in a circle. Distribute the numbered cards bearing the names of the months in order. (Some girls may get more than one card.) Ask the girls to go around, beginning with

8 Closing Month Ruach: Year 2 Facilitator’s Tip If you wish, as an Tishrey (popularly thought of as the first month) or Nisan (technically, alternative to the the first month), and repeat all the months before her, adding her own rock craft activity (e.g., “Tishrey.” “Tishrey, Heshvan.” “Tishrey, Heshvan, Kislev.” “Tishrey, (see Create, below), . . you can have the H. eshvan, Kislev, Shevat,” etc.). girls decorate the Close this section by telling the girls that you will give each of them covers of their packets at this a complete set of Essence Sheets from each month at the end of the point in the gathering, reflecting all that they have accomplished this year. G gathering. DO Na’aseh: Participate and Process Letters of Affirmation Point out that another opportunity for a siyum is to mark the completion of writing a sefer Torah, a Torah scroll. One custom is for those present to write one Facilitator’s Tip of the final letters, ideally, a letter contained in her own name. H If any of the girls are concerned that In that spirit, distribute the sheets of stationery their names are too and invite the girls to write their names vertically short or too long along the left margin. Then, ask them to select for the exercise, suggest that they a word beginning with each letter that reflects use nicknames as a quality they possess or aspire to. For instance, fit their needs. a girl named Susan might choose Sociable, Upbeat, Sensitive, Always willing to help, Nice. Once they have completed their list, ask the girls to pass their name sheets around so that others in the group can each write an affirmation, message, or compliment about the participant on the reverse side of the sheet. Everyone should contribute positive feedback in writing to each group member, but the girls should not sign their messages.

9 Closing Month Ruach: Year 2 Facilitator’s CREATE Tip Ma’aseh Yadeynu: The Works Of Our Hands If you are tight on time, you can Grounding Ourselves combine the craft G activity with the Allow each girl time to read and absorb the appreciative comments party below. of her peers. Instruct each participant to select one descriptive word that feels particularly positive and empowering, whether or not she feels it fits her. Spread the dropcloth and lay out the markers or the paints, brushes, and water cups. Give each girl a rock on which to paint her word, to serve as a reminder of this attribute and to “ground” her when her self-esteem may falter. Set the painted rocks aside to dry. Take a moment to gather supplies and fold up the dropcloth. DO Na’aseh: Participate and Process Se’udat Mitzvah Party Ask the group if anyone can identify the feature of a siyum, as described when we began, that has yet to be included. Hopefully someone will announce, “Party!” Bring out party foods and paper supplies. Invite the girls to put on music and to eat, dance, and have some fun. Take some candid photos. To end the party segment, take a group picture of the girls holding their rocks. Let them know that you will make copies and mail them out at the end of the summer. Optional party game: Randomly distribute the cards with the names of the months and challenge the girls to position themselves in line in the correct order. (You can do more than one round to cover all the months.) CLOSE Beruh.a At Betzeyteyh.: Blessings as You Go on Your Way To help the girls settle down after the party, ask the girls to sit in a circle on the floor. Hand out an Essence Sheet packet to each girl, explaining that this packet contains the Essence Sheet from each month and summarizes the year together. Note that the cover features an incomplete poem that we will now work together to finish. Ask each girl to take a moment to think about words that describe what we do when we gather each month. Offer some examples, such as laugh, learn, grow, question.

10 Closing Month Ruach: Year 2 Invite each girl to add a word to create the collaborative poem, completing this sentence: We come together each month to celebrate the new moon. We…. After all the girls have offered their words, read together the closing paragraph: We become Jewish women celebrating a new month and a new chance to rejoice. We are thankful for the new moon and for each other. Recite the traditional “Prayer for the New Month” or Sing/play Debbie Friedman’s “Kadish D’rabanan.” Tell them you will be in touch over the summer to schedule meetings for next year. STILL TO DO! 1 Enter notes on this gathering in the Monthly Log. 2 In August, send to each girl: a. a letter or email from you which either includes information about resuming the gatherings (See Facilitator’s Resource in Alef-Sivan) OR wishes them well on their journeys, as applies; b. copies of the party photo(s). 3 Review the Group Leader Manual, the section of “Making the Most of This Curriculum” entitled “Preparing for the Following Year.”

Ideas for Summertime: 1 Send girls a postcard with a picture of the group, telling them you hope they arehaving a nice summer and look forward to seeing them in the fall. 2 Make a photo collage or video. Upload and send to girls and parents, your institution, and Moving Traditions. 3 Email links to interesting articles, videos, etc.

11 Closing Month Ruach: Year 2 ROSH H.ODESH: IT’S A GIRL THING! Monthly Log Form Facilitator(s):______

Gathering Plan Themes (if different from printed Gathering Plan): ______

The “host girl” was ______and she participated by: Year: 20______Closing Month ______Ruach: Year 2 ______

Topics/activities that worked well: ______

Topics/activities that worked poorly: ______

Topics or ideas for future gatherings: ______

Personal or group dynamics issues that arose in the group: ______

Carry-over ideas and tasks for next month (or this month next year): ______

Groups and partners that were assigned (track so that dynamics can be mixed up at each gathering): ______

12 Closing Month Ruach: Year 2 Rosh Hodesh: It’s a Girl Thing! a program of Moving Traditions Essence of the Months

Rosh H.odesh Gathering

We come together each month to celebrate the new moon. We…

We become Jewish women celebrating a new month and a new chance to rejoice. We are thankful for the new moon and for each other.

Excerpted from Rosh H. odesh: It’s a Girl Thing! Barbra Berley-Mellits, MSW, and Rabbi Rachel Gartner © 2001-2008 by Moving Traditions. © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. 13 Closing Month Ruach: Year 2 © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. 14 Closing Month Ruach: Year 2 © 2001-2009 Moving Traditions. All © rights 2001-2009 reserved. Moving Traditions. 15 Closing Month Ruach: Year 2