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A Time to Mourn: Ecclesiastes 3:4 by Mary Hasty a Bible Study on Grief and Relationships

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A Time to Mourn: Ecclesiastes 3:4 by Mary Hasty a Bible Study on Grief and Relationships BIBLE study A Time to Mourn: Ecclesiastes 3:4 By Mary Hasty A Bible Study on Grief and Relationships Opening Prayer and Jonathan, for Abner, and for his was not a very good chance. His nurses Holy Spirit, bless this study of Your Word. son Absalom. What are some of the seemed to be hinting that he and his Comfort those who mourn. Amen. mourning behaviors mentioned? ____ wife should take what time they had ______________________________ and enjoy it. Whenever I waited in the ______________________________ hospital hall, I would watch the nurses’ t’s a message every parent fears, ______________________________ faces as they left his room. Their smiles whatever the age of his or her would turn to sadness. Ichild: “Mom, I don’t feel well.” In my Genesis 37:34 describes Jacob mourn- ing for the son he believes to be lost. My son and his wife decided to take case, these were the words, “Mom, the one chance and have the trans- I have leukemia, acute lymphocytic How does he display his grief? _____ ______________________________ plant. Again, we hoped and prayed. leukemia.” That was the beginning of After an anxious wait, a suitable bone 21 months of roller coaster feelings, ______________________________ ______________________________ marrow donor was found. Then began hopes, and fears. Our son was 32, mar- the process of killing our son’s own The OldT estament prophets grieved ried, and the father of a two-year-old immune system to prepare him for the over the sins of God’s people. See Ezra son. After some research, we learned new cells. his type of this disease was rare, ag- 9:3. How did he show grief? _______ gressive, and hard to treat. His on- ______________________________ cologist had heard of a new treatment Certain mourning behaviors were pro- In the New Testament, there is an- method from Germany that showed hibited in the Old Testament. What other example of mourning. It was a promise. There followed five months of were they? See Leviticus 19:28 and common practice to hire flute players intensive treatment. We prayed that it Deuteronomy 14:1. _____________ and mourners. See Matthew 9:23. would succeed and our son would live ______________________________ Why do you think they would do to be with his family. Finally, it looked ______________________________ that? __________________________ like that had happened. He was free of ______________________________ any sign of leukemia. We rejoiced and ______________________________ ithin a few months, my son was thanked God. But, it was not to last. Do people today show grief in the having symptoms again. It took same ways or different ways from awhileW for the leukemia cells to appear. those in the Bible? Explain. ________ We cannot read the Bible without So, we hoped and prayed, but the ______________________________ hearing about grief. The writer of relapse was finally diagnosed. I retired ______________________________ Ecclesiastes 3:4 tells us that there is a early from my job and went across time to weep and a time to mourn. It the country to be with my son and his Have you noticed that Christians is a fact of life. The OldT estament has family. My husband followed a few grieve differently from non-Chris- many references to grief and the way months later. I wanted to argue with tians? Describe what you have ob- that people mourned. God that surely He did not intend to served. ________________________ In 2 Samuel 14:2, a woman is in- take this young man from his wife and ______________________________ structed how to act as if she is in child. Four words from Jesus contin- ______________________________ mourning. What is she instructed ued to encourage me: “Fear not, only Do you believe grief for a beloved to do? 2 Samuel 1:11–12, 2 Samuel believe.” (See Mark 5:36 ASV.) person ever ends? Why or why not? 3:31–35, and 2 Samuel 18:33–19:4 We were told my son’s only chance ______________________________ describe David mourning for Saul was to try a stem cell transplant, and it ______________________________ 20 WINTER 2012 Read 2 Samuel 12:15–23. What did Why might Martha and Mary have Amen! So be it. To God be the glory in David do when he learned his child had felt fear because of the death of their all things. died? __________________________ brother? ________________________ _______________________________ _______________________________ e believed in Jesus as his Savior. Does this mean he stopped grieving? Have you ever felt anger or fear after a He told me once that he was not Explain your answer. ______________ loved one died?_______ Did you feel Hafraid to die. He said he would mostly _______________________________ guilty about having that feeling? _____ feel sad about leaving us behind. I had _______________________________ Should you? _______Why or why not? also asked if he ever thought, “Why What was David’s comfort as he _______________________________ me?” He answered, “Why not me?” grieved? ________________________ _______________________________ On his last day on this earth, our family _______________________________ Why might some people feel guilt after and his pastor stood around his bed as his vital signs slowly flat-lined. The What does David’s behavior say about the death of a loved one? ___________ words from Psalm 23:4 and Psalm how believers should grieve? ________ _______________________________ 16:8–11 brought comfort. _______________________________ _______________________________ Through the ten years since his death, Because of Jesus, our sins are forgiven, Sadness, anger, guilt, and fear are all our grief has been tempered by the including those we commit as we grieve. common feelings involved in grieving. knowledge that his soul is with our See 1 John 2:12. What is the comfort Why might each be present? ________ Lord and that same Lord will raise his you find there? ___________________ _______________________________ body and we will see him one day. Do _______________________________ _______________________________ we still have moments of grief? Oh, yes! _______________________________ Sometimes the feelings hit so suddenly his procedure involved a transfer Why do you think people say to those and hard, it seems he left us just yes- to a bigger hospital, a little farther who are grieving to “get over it”? ____ terday. Most of the time we remember fromT their home. A room at a motel _______________________________ him with gladness, and grief is in the became our home and, at the end, the Might there be an appropriate time to background. We learned about all the Ronald McDonald House became the say it? Explain your answer. _________ feelings in grief: sadness, anger, guilt, home for other family members. _______________________________ and fear. They are all normal and they The transplant itself was the easy part. _______________________________ fade in time. The difficult part was the harsh toll _______________________________ Before I had children, I thought the the preparation of chemotherapy and If yes, how would you say it in a loving death of a child was the worst thing that radiation had taken on his body. Gradu- way? ___________________________ could happen to a parent. Now I know ally, our son’s vital organs failed. In the _______________________________ the worst thing would be to suffer the last days he was put into a medically _______________________________ loss of a beloved child without the Lord induced coma to try to help his body. Jesus at your side. Surely, it is true: blessed People in the Bible, including Jesus, We took turns with him in the Medi- are those who mourn, for they will be com- openly expressed grief. It can be hurtful cal Intensive Care Unit. We prayed out forted (Matthew 5:4). to us to suppress or deny grief. On the loud, sang hymns, played jazz, which he other hand, if extreme grief continues loved, and read aloud books he enjoyed. Closing Prayer and becomes disabling, professional We hoped he could hear how much we help may be needed — from a Christian Thank You for Your Word, Lord, Your Liv- loved him and that he was reminded counselor, if possible. ing Word — our help, our comfort, and our God loved him too. Read Jeremiah 31:13. What does God peace. Amen. Read John 11:17–37. Do Martha’s words promise? _______________________ Mary Hasty, a member of Peace Lutheran in verse 21 sound like she might have _______________________________ Church, Conway, Arkansas, is a retired been a little angry? Why or why not? __ _______________________________ licensed certified social worker and an ac- _______________________________ What is the encouragement in l Thes- tive volunteer at a local domestic violence Read verse 37. What might these people salonians 4:13–18? _______________ shelter for women. Mary has authored have been feeling? ________________ _______________________________ material for women’s retreats and has _______________________________ _______________________________ served as a writer, director, and performer for a puppet ministry. Read verse 35. What might Jesus have What is the promise in Revelation 21:4? been feeling? Why? _______________ ________________________________ _______________________________ _________________________ ______ _______________________________ _______________________________ LUTHERAN WOMAN’S QUARTERLY 21.
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