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 Good drink ... good meat ... good God, let's eat!

 Computer, kill Flanders.

 What's an email?

 Some people might think your work is silly or meaningless, but, I, for one, want to thank you for all of your hard work.

 Sorry I was not listening. I was lost in your eyes. [to Jesse Grass, the environmental activist].

 Homer : Marge, she's going to narc on our stash. Marge : We don't HAVE a stash. Homer : No, of course not.

 Homer : Now Marge, if the unthinkable should happen, you're going to be lonely. Marge : Oh Homer, I could never remarry. Homer : Darn right. And to make sure, I want to be stuffed and put on the couch as a constant reminder of our marital oath. [Homer Triple Bypass]

 Don't make me come up there! [to Rev.Lovejoy at his very long sermon on Sunday].

 76.2?! ? I'm already 38.1! I've wasted half my life!

 You mean grease is money?!? Woo hoo! my arteries are filled with yellow gold!

 My God! you're greasy! [to a teenager working at Krusty Burger]

 God, I know you're busy ... you know watching women changing clothes and all ... [praying for his 'grease' business]  Hurry up, I cannot be jabbing you. [poking the bagboy with a bread stick at the grocery store]

 Vow! it just rolled over to 10,000! [in Africa, photographing the odometer instead of the sceneries].

 Bart : Hey, this monkey can lead us to some bananas. Homer : Or more mouth-watering monkeys. [in Africa, looking for food]

 Oh man! it feels good to get out of that car! ... Woo Hoo! Go Karts!!!

 Lisa : Shouldn't you put on a batting helmet? Homer : No it messes up my hair.

 Marge : And punish Lisa for lying to us. Homer : Okay, you young lady, now run to Kwik-E-mart and get me some chips and beer ... and get something for yourself, sweetheart.

 [Bart in the tree house tending to the eggs of a bird he killed with a BB gun Marge : What do you think he's doing up there? Homer : I don't know, drug lab ?

 [The family is watching the hatching of the eggs] Homer : Oh man! this is the most exciting thing I've seen since that Haley comet collided with the moon. Lisa : It never happened. Homer : Sure it did.

 [still waiting for the eggs to hatch]. Homer : Why is it taking so long? Bart was born in 5 minutes. Marge : It took 53 hours! Homer : Really? The time just flew by, didn't it?

 [Homer the hippie] Woman : Oh Homer! how do you keep your hair so thick and lustrous? Homer : Lather-Rinse-Repeat. Always Repeat.

 Come on, Maude, the human wang is a beautiful thing! [Homer, the hippie is lying naked in the backyard]

 [Homer at the sci-fi convention] Mark Hamill : Who are you? Homer : , nerd-buster.

 Forget Maggi, she's gone.

 It's an honor guarding your body, sir. [to ].  I ordered 'double double burger' and they gave me 'double double double double burger'.

 Oh sure, the mayor takes some bribes, but he also makes trains run on time.

 Awh! the corpse is climbing the stairs!

 [to Mark Hamill] You're luminous, magnetic and incodescent (?).

 I wouldn't do that if I were you, Rev.Lovejoy. This "saint" Flanders is as crooked as you and me. [ using senior citizen's card at the car wash].

 He he, buffaloes are easy to kill.

 Are you kidding? I work like a Japanese beaver!

 Corgan : Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins. Homer : Homer Simpson, smiling politely. Homer : You know, my kids think you're the greatest. And thanks to your gloomy music, they've finally stopped dreaming of a future I can't possibly provide. Corgan : Well, we try to make a difference .

 We got a little rule back home : if it's brown, drink it down; if it's black, send it back.

 Really? Me too! But I got kicked out 'cause of my views of Vietnam. Also, I was stealing projectors. [out of high school].

 Bart : Do you wear boxers or briefs? Homer : [checking] Nope. Bart : What religion are you? Homer : You know, the one with all the well-meaning rules that don't work out in real life. Uh ... Christianity.

 [Homer joins the Naval Reserve] Bart : Hey, Homer, bring me back a torpedo. Homer : No. Bart : But Flanders got his kids torpedoes! Homer : Oh, he did, did he? I'll show him! I'll bring you a weapon of unimaginable destructive power! Marge : Homer! Homer : But only if you're good! [to Bart] Even if you're not.

 One Two Better Not Sue! [Homer, the chiropractor].  Oh! my spino cylinder! They'll pay for what they did to my can.

 Man : There is no air in the outer space. Homer : There's air in the space museum.

 Hey, I thought real doctors hated chiropractors.

 It's not trash can, son. It's Homer Simpson's spino cylinder!

 Can you look even more pathetic? [conmen Homer and Bart]

 Colgate Cavity Patrol!?!

 I told you my memory is fuzzy ... FUZZY! [conman Homer in court].

 You listen, Smash, we're not signing anything unless it's a contract.

 Bart : Mom, my lifelong dream is to become a rock star! Homer : And my lifelong dream is to get rid of Bart. How_many_ lives do you have to ruin?

 Lisa : What does it mean? [some song on TV] Homer : It doesn't mean anything - like ling-ding-aling or give peace a chance.

 Homer : [from croud] Hey, Flanders! You're the worst coach this team has ever had! Marge : He's the only coach this team has ever had... and the season hasn't even started yet! Homer : Yeah, well ... he's wearing that hat like an idiot. Marge : You know, Homer, its very easy to criticize. Homer : Fun, too.

 Marge : Homer, I don't want you driving around in a car you built yourself. Homer : Marge, you can stand there finding faults or you can knit me some seatbelts.

 New York is a hellhole. And you know how I feel about hellholes!

 Oh, all right. But not a minute later cause when the sun goes down all the weirdos turn crazy. [Homer in New York City]

 Homer : Ah ha! I've got it! Brain, how can I ever thank you? Homer's Brain : Just don't bump me on your way out of the car. [Homer gets out of his car, bumping his head on the way out] Sorry.

 Man : Warning : tickets should not be taken internally. Homer : See? Because of me, now they have a warning.  Homer : Heh heh heh, I did it! Second in line, and all I had to do was miss eight days of work. Man : With the money you would have made working, you could have bought tickets from a scalper. Homer : In theory, yes. [sotto voce] Jerk.

 Homer : God, if you really are God, you'll get me tickets to that game. [doorbell rings] Ned : Heidely-ho, neighbor. Wanna go to the game with me? I got two tick -- Homer : [slams the door] Why do you mock me, O Lord?

 It's just a legal thing ... to protect me. [adding Marge's name to 'Uncle Homer's Day Care Center].

 You da man, Carl. I bet you can fly. [at the basketball game].

 Miss work? But my life will be nothing without my nuclear plant! [after the basketball injury].

 [a bored Homer with basketball injury at home tries to mate his cat and dog by putting them in a sack and shaking it]. Good ... we'll have a miracle hybrid with the loyalty of a cat and the cleanliness of a dog!

 Okay, I'm going to come back with a perfect gift a husband can give his wife ... an annulment from his secret marriage. [annulment of Homer's Las Vegas marriage to a "floozie"].

 Awh! a sweet couple of seconds before I remember why I'm sleeping on the lawn.

 Homer : Homer Simp, I mean Max Power. Woman : Nice name. Homer : Isn't it? I got it from a hair dryer.

 ... And I've counted the pennies in the ash tray. [to the valet parking attendent]

 ... Well, I spend a lot of time on the couch.

 Oh! I thought it would be cool to be on Springfield's 'A' list. But these people are NUTS!

 [Homer is trying to escape from a group of hippos] Does anything from the movies actually work?

 Awh! good old govt !  Lisa : I just want to study! Homer : That's not fun. Lisa : It is to me! Homer : No, it's not.

 They like me because I'm brave! [at the slaughterhouse].

 Must eat meat ... Must defeat the man I just met. [steak-eating contest at the slaughterhouse].

 Hey, this man is not breathing. Don't people usually breathe?

 [the dead trucker at the steak-eating contest]. He called me greenhorn. I called him Tony Randall. It's a thing we had.

 Awh! open road!

 Look son, it's one of nature's most beautiful sights ... a convoy!

 Le Grill!?! What the hell is that? [Homer building a backyard barbeque].

 Finally I found something that people worship me for screwing up. That feels pretty good. [Homer's screwed up barbeque seen as an "outsider's art"].

 A mascot contest?!? I can win THAT! ... [sotto voice] ... unless one of you jinxes me. [for the Olympics at Springfield].

 [Homer is trying for mascots] Lisa : You paper mached my cat?!? Homer : Only for a protocol, honey.

 Ooh! a technical wonder!!! Ooh! got an itch. [scratches his butt]

 Burns : ... I want to be loved. Homer : ... Well ... I need a beer.

 White people have names like Lenny and black people have names like Carl. He he he. [some "jokes" for Burns]

 Can you believe I'm size 4?!? [Homer in Scotland wearing a kilt].

 Larry Flynt is right. You guys stink. [MENSA Springfield chapter running the city].

 Lisa : Hey, according to the Mexican Council of Food, this expired two years ago. Homer : According to THEIR standard. But we live in America! [at the 33-cent store - eats that stuff and turns purple instantly].  Marge : Looks like the christmas tree saved you. Homer : And somebody wanted to get rid of it in April. [Homer hiding from an accepted-duel-challange].

 Come on Carter, build us a house, you lazy bum.

 [Homer the food critic] Marge : You know the letter 'e' doesn't work on that typewriter. Homer : We don't need no stinkin' e. [for his food critic report]

 Can you believe this, Marge? They're paying me to eat!

 [Lisa writes the food critic reports] Welcome to the humiliating world of Professional Writing!

 Are you going to fire me for swiping off the supplies? [from his food critic job].

 Homer : You should always give in to peer pressure. Lisa : But Dad, what if ... Homer : Always.

 Your cooking has only two moves ... Shake ...... and ...... bake. [makes gestures]

 Marge, your porkchops today get the lowest rating from me - only 7 thumbs up!

 Lisa : What a whimsical building. Who says science can't be fun? Bart : Me. I smell a museum. Homer : Yeah, good things don't end with eum. They end with mania. Or teria!

 Bart : Hey, I'm going to go toss the virtual salad! Lisa : I'm gonna read the giant book! Homer : I'm going to try the sex education computer!

 [Homer trying the sex education computer] Homer : Aah! Eh! Ovulate, damn you! Ovulate! Voice : You are out of sperm.

 Marge : All right, all right, now, you're over stimulated. Let's get some beer in you and then it's right to bed. Homer : Woo hoo! [running] Beer, beer, beer, bed, bed, bed!

 [picking an answering machine] Hi, this is Jerry McGuire. Show me the message! Show-me-the-message!!!  Overdue book!?!? This is the biggest frame-up since OJ ... wait a minute ... the Bronco ... the cuts on his fingers ... those Jay Leno monologues ... HE DID IT!!!

 He he he ... Trojans.

 [Homer as Odysseus] Aw! I must be wasted ... because that cloud looks like it is mad at me.

 [Lisa as Joan of Arc] This one takes place in the make-believe kingdom of France.

 Victory!?!? We're FRENCH! We don't even have a word for it.

 [Bart as Hamlet] Bart : Does he get to marry his mom? Homer : I don't know. That would be hot.

 [Homer is Hamlet's father and returns as ghost] It's cold outside. I need a sweater ... [sotto voice] A ... S.W.E.A.T.E.R.

 Son, it's not only a great play ... it also became a great movie. It's called 'Ghost Busters'.

 [Family is watching 'Itchy and Scratchy]. Bart : Cloning is a troubling issue. Homer : Especially where the mouse kills the cat.

 Get her! She's throwing something. [Marge]

 Leprosy!?! I can't believe it! The fortune cookie was right! [Lisa playing a trick on Homer and Bart]

 [Homer the biker] Homer : A gang! That is the answer! Lisa : Answer to what? Homer : Don't make me hazzle you, Lisa.

 Bill ... bill ... Awh! lliB! [turns the envelope] ... Oh Bill.

 [a glue bucket stuck on Homer's head] Marge : I tried some butter, but your father keeps eating it. Homer : Couldn't you try some non-delicious butter?

 [The glue bucket is removed by Bart, the miracle worker] I see the light ... and it burns.

 Yeah, you went to a cow college. [to Carl]  Lisa : Do you have any food that was not brutally slaughtered? Homer : I have some steak here which died of lonliness.

 Why won't anyone give ME an award?

 [Homer drags a statue from the award ceremony] Marge : That's not an award. It's part of the set. Homer : Nothing you say will diminish this honor.

 I stand by my disappointed growl.

 Homer : See Marge, they could deep-fry my shirt. Marge : I didn't say they couldn't. I said you shouldn't.

 [Homer gets a horse] Now let's see in this book of rules whether a horse can play in the NFL ... [checks] ... Awh!

 Tomorrow in the race, other horses will be shaking in their horse dealies.

 But you're respected athletes. You can own car dealerships and marry beauty queens! [to horse jockeys]

 Oh! that's great. Chicks really dig sensitivity. [cheering Ned after his wife's death]

 [PBS pledge debacle] I'm no missionary. I don't even believe in Jebus.

 Save me, Jeebus.

 Jeebus, where are you?

 I want Jeebus.

 Greg and Amy ... Greg and Amy ... why don't you marry Greg and Amy? [to the islanders on his "missionary"]

 ['Funny Family' - behind ''] Then we found out that we can park them in front of TV! I was raised that way and I turned out TV!

 And that horrible act of child abuse became a running gag. [strangling Bart]

 That was the best Thanks-giving ever. Emotionally it was terrible, but the turkey was so moist.

 Dear God, it's Homer. If you really love me, you'll save my life now.  [whispers to Becky, Otto's fiance, who was left at the alter for a heavy-metal band] In about 15 minutes, you'll have to take that wedding dress off or else you'll look crazy.

 Hey Flanders, can your god do that? [blowing fire from a statue's mouth, which later catches fire]

 They called you pig, Sheriff. [in Florida]

 Okay, be nerds. I'll find some people who will know the meaning of the two words 'par' 'te'.

 Mr.Burns has a mother!?! She must be 100-million years old!

 [Homer is jealous of Buck, the cowboy showing his movies] Well, I broke a chair today. I didn't make a movie about it.

 Hey nothing wrong with a little hey hey [Buck throws his drink and Playboy Magzine]

 [Homer at work] The chair goes round ... the chair goes round ... the chair goes round ...

 Frank Grimes, the new guy : I don't think I'm paid to sleep. Homer [fist action] : Oh Yeah, they're always trying to screw you!

 Frank Grimes : How could you afford all this? Homer : I don't know. Don't ask me how the economy works.

 Oh! do I sound like that? I don't like having such a hilarious voice. [on tape]

 You can't just kill off a plastic TV character! [Poochie, the dog with Homer's voice]

 I've always wanted to own the Dallas Cowboys.

 Okay, okay, I'll find you when I'm ready to stop having fun. [at the chili contest].

 sunrise ... sunset ... sunrise ... sunset ... sunrise ... sunset ... Note to self : Stop doing ANYTHING.

 [At Stoner's Pot Place - crystalware] Homer : We can't afford that. Who do you think I am, Liz Taylor? Marge : May be we can use it once and return it. Homer : What do you think it is, a toothbrush?  [Burns' son Larry is hitch-hiking with a sign 'springfield] Homer : Can't they get a post for that sign? Bart : That's a hitch-hiker.

 [Larry kidnapping scheme] Marge, you've been reading too many hide-out novels.

 You su-diddly-uck, Flanders.

 Saxamaphone ... Saxamaphone .. . Saxamaphone ...

 Homer, how hardly I knew me! [Homer's autobiography]

 [at the duff festival] Go Moe! Boo everybodyelse!

 [a face-lifted Moe] Homer : Are you going to get even with that guy that never picks our lottery numbers?

 ['Lincoln's gold at the White House - is a note] "The gold is in the heart of every freedom-loving American." Homer : Awh! crap!

 [at the movie theater with many previews] He he he ... I'm laughing .. . he he he ... but it's the laugh of impatience.

 [a group at the door in the Bart at burlesque house] Oh! this is not going to be about Jesus, is it?

 [Homer thinks Bart is gay] (to Marge) It's all your fault. Why do you have to be so feminine around him?

 Name one gay Indian.

 Oh! I'm having chestpain ... Where is the defribillator? ... Awh! this thing pays for itself!

 Ooh! ... I almost fainted ... but then I didn't.

 [lying on the couch] Homer : I love these lazy Saturdays! Marge : Today is Wednesday ! Homer : Awh! Work!

 [lying on the couch] I love these real Saturdays. So relaxing. Not like that fake Saturday which almost got me fired.  Vow! you sold a house AND got rid of the Flanders. [Marge, the real-estate agent]

 [Homer makes Ned to quit as peewee football coach by constant heckling and becomes the coach himself] Ned : Well ... good luck, Homer. No hard feelings. Homer : Now you know it's not so easy to keep your mouth shut, eh, Flanders?

 [Homer, the peewee football coach, after a gymnastics flashback] From now on I'll be kinder to my son and meaner to my Dad.

 Well ... 2 bucks ... only transports matter ... mmm ... well ... I'll give you 35 cents.

 Sorry, this is a highly sophistimicated machine.

 What do you like Lisa? violamin? tubaba? Lisa : I want THAT. Homer : Saxamaphone?

 Watching all this stomach surgery has made me hungry. Marge , we need 5000 ccs. of snacks.

 My hair is who I am. [at the Naval Reserve]

 Mooching war widows! [proposition 305]

 This world sucks!

 My icecream sandwich!?! Then where the hell is my remote???

 *** Internet - better than TV.com]

 *** It may be on a lousy channel, but 'The Simpsons' is on TV!

 ALL RIGHT!!! My bumper fell off!!!

 God, why do you mock me?

 Ooh! he must be a 100-feet tall!

 Don't worry head. The computer will do all the thinking from now on.

 I want my answers now or I want them eventually.

 Oh, I'm tired of being drugged and gassed. There must be a way of here.

 Vow! the soaked odors of a million meals! [baking soda in the fridge]  Son, I know it hurts. I still remember my first life-time banning.

 They don't call me Colonel Homer because I'm some dumbass army guy.

 They don't call em ... because I'm morbidly obese.

 There's comes a time in every father's life when he blows up his daughter's room.

 New Springfield Rocks!!! [new areacode 939]

 Bart : Dad, I don't think it's a good idea. Homer : Thank you, MARGE!!!

 Those rich snobby Indians !

 Krusty : Will you take on the Mob? Homer : For a casual aquaintance like you? Absolutely!

 Badger, my ass! It's probably Milhouse. [Badger, the bad dog]

 939?!?! What the hell is that? Oh! my life is ruined. [areacode change from 636 to 939 for New Springfield]

 Hahaha! Joan Collins ? That girl sleeps with everybody!

 Homer : Ah! I have a question! Lisa : It's a movie, Dad. Homer : Wait Lisa, daddy's asking a question.

 And as usual, we Joe Twelve Packs are getting the Royal Screw Jobs [636-939 change]

 Nice wiring, Bart [sarcasm - on a suicide belt]

 Marge, come on in. Maggi smells bad. The cat seems to want something. I don't know what. [the cat is carrying his foodplate]

 Oh No! they are stealing the tire fire!!!

 Finally I can combing my love of helping people with my love of hurting people! [Homer the cop - SpringShield]

 Woohoo! I'm the chief of police!

 I don't get it. I finally get a job in which I'm not lazy or stupid or corrupt and I get killed for it! [Fat Tony is after SpringShield cop Homer]

 Awh, garbage water. [clenching his to the sky] ... You're pushing me, baby!  No time now ... 've to write a delicious memo ... mmm ... memo ...

 Who cares? Those are some decent, generous people whom I can take advantage of. [The Movementarians' free weekend offer].

 This is Jerry McGuire. Show me the message!

 Oh, I cannot stay mad at you, Moe. After all, you get me drunk.

 [Homer is at the office and the phone rings] Homer : Hello! Lisa : Dad! Homer : [angrily] Who is this?

 We're rich ! Richer than astronauts!

 I don't want to go to prison. They pee in a cup and throw it on you. I saw that in a movie. [to the IRS]

 Walk!?! That wasn't part of the deal! [Homer, the IRS snitch]

 Oh! a trillion dollar bill! That's some spicy meatball!

 What do you say, honey! Feeling stupid? I know I am!

 [Homer on medical pot] Awh! that saxaphone would make a good pipe!

 Oh man! We killed Mr.Burns! Mr.Burns is going to kill us!

 X is for X-treme! [Homer eagerly waiting for Xtreme Football on TV]

 He never even lived to be a vegetable. [mistaken that his father is dead] .

 I will never even live to see my children die! [middle-aged Homer]

 He he he! I have a boil on my ass!

 [The Simpsons are in Branson, MO searching for Abe] Marge : Look! it's grampa!!! Homer : Munster?!?!?! Marge : No, Simpson! Homer : Oh! darn! darn! darn! darn! [stamping his foot].

 Wait ... wait ... in August, it's cold, in February, it's hot ... Ooh! the opposite land! ... where crooks chase cops, cats have puppies! ... [Brazil]

 [to Lisa in Brazil, who insists to be a vegetarian] But you're on vacation! See, I took off my wedding ring!  The Chair!?!? How come they give crucifixion only during sweeps?

 [Homer's Tule Box]

 Marge : Homer, Kang is Maggi's father. Homer : Awh! ... You intergalactic hussy! How could you? Was he better than me?

 Awh! I killed that horrible bug! [screamapillar]

 Meals on Wheels! Eat this or I'll go to jail.

 Old man : Eh! this used to have a cobbler. Homer : The discontinued the cobbler.

 Marge, I can't say no to an old woman. They put a spell on you.

 The sea forgets all ... unlike those mean old mountains! I hate them so much!

 Ooh! what a high-tech wonder! ... wait I got an itch. [scratches himself in a Sci-Fi convention on a large TV]

 In my role as the customer, I saw the whole thing.

 You broung a convict here? Near my unpatented idea? [Homer's spinocylinder]

 [Homer wakes up in office in a dream] Awh!!! 1939!!! I've gone back in time. I've to warn everybody about Hitler! Then I've to go to that icecream shop(???)

 Lisa : Dad, we are trying to conserve energy! Homer : Lisa, if we start conserving, the environmentalists win!

 Vow! a world without Krusty! I wonder what it would be like! [imagines]

 Oh yeah, I was at the flower shop too ... yep ... getting drunk at the old flower shop.

 [Homer's fortune cookie predictions] You'll find true love on Flag Day. The price of stamps will rise ever higher. You will be aroused by a shampoo commercial. Your store will be robbed, Apu.

 Stop the dog. He has my gum.

 Come on, he is a total player. [vouching for Mr.Burns on his date]  Yep, no one is more rowdier or useful than Mr.Burns.

 Can I have my icecream? I finished my pizza.

 Let go off her or ... I'll scream!

 What about the weiner? This guy lifted a can of paint with it!

 Pffft ... couldn't catch cooties at Milhouse's birthday party!

 Homer : You sell hats? Man : Mmm Homer : To people? Man : Mmm Homer : To people with heads?

 A blackout?!!? ... mmm ... everytime Santa and I get together, it's a disaster!

 No, I've caused enough disaster by plugging in that Santa. No more irresponsible behavior.

 [Apu's fling episode] Come come, we need many Indians to shoot. [for civil war reenactment]

 Okay okay, don't go Mary Todd on me.

 This was supposed to be a mock battle. Don't worry, I'll drink around your wound . ... so cold ... so cold [beer keg shot at the civil war].

 Why do you always take the side of local merchants? [to Marge regarding the damaged keg]

 Mmm ... that giggle is none of my business. Or is it? [Apu's fling with the Squishee lady]

 Awh! what's a eunuch?

 Nothing ... nothing ... nothing is eating me inside.

 Marge : What's the score? Homer : Dirty love ... I mean 30 love.

 Marge, why are you crying? You're not in any physical pain, the only pain a man can understand.

 I saw you and the squishee lady kanoodling like junkyard rats.

 Yes ... you ... are ... scum. [on Apu's fling].  Marge : Why don't you talk to Apu? (about his fling) Homer : He already knows.

 You might hear from your friends or coworkers that Apu is not living at home. [to Bart and Lisa].

 Apu : I used to believe in Karma, but now I think it's bologna. Homer : Mmm ... Carmel bologna ...

 It was magic. He took a corn flower girl and turned her into a my fair lady.

 [Apu to eat a light bulb for his fling] Don't worry. I soaked it in the toilet to soften it.

 No no no ... not the good cheek!

 Aawh! ... she must've dreamt about Hitler again. [Lisa in gymnastic class ]

 Hey! where's my keg?

 [Bart is in a bubble due to some infection and Homer puts water in the bubble for a bath and rolls Bart over] Now that's called parenting ... and now I'm off to Moe's.

 [Bubble Bart is stuck on the tree] I was trying to throw Bart over the tree and he got stuck.

 Lisa : Doogie Howser went to college at my age. Homer : Against my wishes.

 [The Screamapillar episode] Are you sure God doesn't want it dead?

 Marge : Why is he screaming now? Homer : If he wants to sleep with us, forget it.

 Now let's not get into who smells like what.

 [Homer is in a old woman's house for his community service for endangering 'screamapillar']. Oh! don't kill me. I won't tell anyone about the skeleton. I'll even bring more victims, like Lenny. He'll go well with wild rice.

 Yeah, I've been complimented about my talking.

 [to Marge, when they're serving the old woman for Homer's community service]. Sssh! The mrs. prefers you call me Simpson.  [Homer is talking to Carmen Electra, staring at her breasts] Carmen : Awh, Homer, my face is up here. Homer : I've made my choices.

 I haven't been a size 6 since my prom.

 I am in your power. Boss me around. [a hypnotized Homer].

 Oh! it hurts now, but senility will take care of that.

Your father was smart as a monkey. Then his mind started getting lazy and he became dumb as a chimp.

Son, you're dumb as a mule and twice as ugly. So, if a stranger offers you a ride, I say take it. Abe Simpson.