GOD ON TRIAL My God, How the “In every age, in almost every culture, priestcraft has been Money Rolls In a ticket to comfort. Churches and holy men reap earnings James A. Haught and exalted status from the supernaturalism they jobless West Virginian, living administer to their on welfare, began preaching in APentecostal tabernacles to sup- followers.” port his family. Within a few years, T.D. Jakes had raked in so much money from believers that he was able to pay “For it is not men who are talking, $870,000 for two side-by-side mansions, as they assert, but God through them,” one with a pool and bowling alley. Then Dreiser wrote in Tragic America, “and his soaring cash flow enabled him to so through the mouths of tricksters and pay $3.2 million for a Texas mega- social prestidigitators, and no more and church vacated by a crooked evangelist no less, comes all this hooey in regard to who had gone to prison. Before long, the hereafter.” Two centuries earlier, in Jakes was grossing more than $20 mil- The Age of Reason, Thomas Paine like- lion annually. Today, he ranks among wise wrote that religions are “no other Am erica’s flagrantly rich preachers, than human inventions, set up to terrify traveling by private jet, wearing enor- and enslave mankind, and monopolize mous diamonds, living like royalty. power and profit.” We’ve seen all this before, whether Through the years, other writers have on an individual or institutional scale. sounded similar warnings. Yet most peo- Thirty-two centuries ago, during the Innocent III denounced simony, saying ple rarely think about the giant earnings reign of Ramses III, Egypt’s great tem- the clergy “are enthralled to avarice, accruing to faith or their consequences. ple of the supreme god, Amun-Re—sup- love presents, and seek re wards; for The topic mostly escapes notice. posed creator of the world and father the sake of bribes they pronounce the For example, how many know that of the pharaoh—owned 420,000 head godless righteous.” riches from religion contributed to of livestock, sixty-five villages, eighty- In every age, in almost every culture, the downfall of classical Greece? Few three ships, 433 orchards, vast farm- priestcraft has been a ticket to comfort. have heard of the Sacred Wars that lands, and eighty-one thousand workers, Churches and holy men reap earnings helped deliver the peninsula into the all obeying the ruler priests. In me dieval and exalted status from the supernat- hands of Alexander the Great. Here’s Europe, as the church ac quired tighter uralism they administer to their fol- the historical account: in Ancient control over all facets of life, the clergy lowers. As self-proclaimed emissaries Greece, priests reaped wealth through discovered a gold mine: simony—the of invisible spirits, they outrank the various methods. One, apparently, was sale of blessings. Fees for absolution, common folk who support them. sacred prostitution. The Greek histo- baptism, burial, marriage, and the like The Internal Revenue Service says rian-philosopher-geographer Strabo escalated into a cash-and-carry system Americans took tax exemptions for $88 wrote that Corinth’s Aphrodite temple whose wares included the sale of high billion in religious donations in 2004— had one thousand consecrated women church offices. Most outrageous were thus the U.S. Treasury funded churches who served male worshipers for fees, indulgences, church documents bought by forgoing taxes on that $88 billion. enriching the temple. Presumably, the by worried families to release dead And this total doesn’t count unknowable holy hookers were slave women, vis- relatives from the alleged pain of an sums dropped into Sunday collection ited especially by sailors arriving at invisible purgatory. In the 1200s, Pope plates. Religion is lucrative. the large Corinth seaport. If Strabo’s James Haught is the editor of the In 1931, amid the misery of the Great ac count is accurate, religion spawned a Charleston (West Virginia) Gazette Depression, novelist Theodore Dreiser profitable bordello. and a senior editor at FREE INQUIRY. accused the churches and clergy of Even more lucrative were oracles, He is also the author of several books, sponging off people—calling them par- the fortune-tellers who captivated the including Holy Hatred (Prometheus asites and hypocrites railing against ancient world. Superstitious Greeks Books 1994). “sin” while doing little for the hungry. flocked to oracles. First, the worshipers

51 http://www.secularhumanism.org Dec. 2006/Jan. 2007 purified themselves by bathing and landslide (caused by Apollo, the faithful in 339 B.C.E., after a different neigh- prayer, then they paid dearly to hear said) blocked the troops. bor state invaded the sanctified Delphi mumbo jumbo from priests and priest- A generation later, Phocians again region. The Amphictyonic League asked esses. At Dodona, a barefoot priestess grabbed Delphi’s treasuries, and the the Macedonian army to save the oracle sat on a high cliff, listening to the Amphictyonic League again attacked. temple again. However, some city-states supposed voice of Zeus in the rustle of This Second Sacred War, in 447 B.C.E., perceived that Philip was using his leaves or the flutter of dove wings. She ended like the first. defense of Apollo as a pretext to seize provided yes-or-no answers to written Seventy years after that, a different large sections of the peninsula. They questions. At Delphi (named for a dol- stash of religious wealth was looted. fielded troops to resist—but ten thou- phin that Apollo allegedly became), a During many, many wars between Greek sand Macedonians in full battle array stuporous priestess breathed vapors in city-states, an Arcadian army plundered were unstoppable. At a crucial clash a grotto and gave incoherent an swers, the treasuries of the mighty temple of at Chaeronea, Philip’s army crushed which were then “translated” by a Zeus at Olympia in southwest Greece. Athens, Thebes, and other allies. Philip’s priest. The messages were mur ky—but Naturally, this theft triggered more war- son, Alexander—who had been born swallowed avidly by paying believers. ring by kings and assemblies who had at the start of the Third Sacred War— As the fame of the Delphi shrine donated riches to the supreme god. was a brilliant eighteen-year-old cavalry Soon afterward, back at Delphi, the commander in the decisive massacre. Third Sacred War flared in 356 B.C.E., Victory in the Fourth Sacred War when the Phocians seized the Apollo shrine once more. Phocian leaders prom- “The Internal Revenue Service ised not to loot the treasuries—but soon did so. The wealth that had been drained says Americans took tax from believers was squandered to hire “Although ancient Greece exemptions for $88 billion mercenary soldiers to battle neigh- saw multitudes of wars, and bors, to bribe opposing generals, and in religious donations in to reward cronies. Historian Charles other self-destructive factors 2004—thus the U.S. Treasury Morris related: abounded, the wealth that One hundred seventeen ingots of gold funded churches by forgoing and 360 golden goblets went to the priests took from the gullible melting pot, and with them a golden taxes on that $88 billion.” statue three cubits high, and a lion of was an important trigger that the same precious metal. And what added to the horror of pious Greece helped to topple the classical was that much of the proceeds of civilization.” these treasures was lavished on favor- spread, so did its storehouse of gold, ites. Necklaces of Helen and Eriphyle silver, and jewels taken from gullible were given to dissolute women, and a woman flute-player received a silver clients. Kings and generals came to cup and a golden wreath from the Delphi, seeking Apollo’s guidance on temple hoard. gave Philip complete control of Greece, important decisions, and they brought except for defiant Sparta in the south. rich donations to the gods. Soon, vari- This time, the Amphictyonic League But he didn’t live to rule. He was assas- ous city-states built treasuries around had been sadly weakened by centuries sinated in 336 B.C.E., and Alexander the shrine to hold the wealth. The of fighting, especially by the Pelopon- took command. Greece was subsumed Amphic tyonic League, a consortium of nesian War between Athens and Sparta beneath Macedonia into a mighty war twelve city-states including Athens and and by constant conflict with Persia. machine, Alexander’s engine of con- Sparta, governed Delphi cooperatively From the north, King Philip of Mace- quest. The era of city-states ended. After and secured its riches, like directors of donia had been gaining power, expand- Alexander’s death, Greece fell under a bank. ing his territory, and sending legions Roman rule. More than two thousand But money breeds trouble. The in attempts to grab Greek lands. After years were to pass before it regained Phocians, mountain people whose ter- the Delphi shrine was seized a third independence. ritories surrounded the shrine, saw an time, some local assemblies asked Although ancient Greece saw multi- opportunity to cash in on the holy traffic Philip to drive out the occupying Pho- tudes of wars, and other self-destructive and began levying steep fees on visi- cians. Shrewdly, he obliged. Posing as a factors abounded, the wealth that tors. Other members of the league sent devoted champion of Apollo, he waged a priests took from the gullible was an troops to halt the extra profiteering. long war that finally quelled the temple important trigger that helped to topple The Phocians resisted. The First Sacred grabbers. To inflict the vengeance of the the classical civilization. It’s a lit- War erupted in 601 B.C.E. and lasted ten god upon the looters, Philip drowned tle-known footnote in the age-old tale of years. The Phocians were defeated and three thousand Phocian prisoners on riches from religion. Apparently, the forced to serve the shrine. charges of sacrilege. Subtly, he formed tale never will end, as long as believers A century later, in 480 B.C.E., a Greek “alliances” that made him de feel compelled to give tribute to purvey- Persian army under Xerxes marched facto ruler and protector of the holies. ors of the supernatural. on Delphi to seize its wealth, but a Then the Fourth Sacred War erupted

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