the radle Winter | 2013

Celebrating Nine Decades of Excellence CRADLE Event arch 12, 2013 will be the 90th FIRST LOOK FOR CHARITY anniversary of the day The Friday, February 8, 2013 M Cradle Society opened its McCormick Place, Chicago doors. Ninety years – roughly three 7 p.m. to 11 p.m. generations – is a long time to be finding families for babies, and to be The Chicago Auto Show’s black-tie preview doing it the way it should be done: event – “Friday Night, Green Light” – will with the best interest of the child first, benefit The Cradle and 17 other local always. And while The Cradle isn’t the charities. In addition to acres of new oldest adoption agency in the United vehicles, entertainment by Million Dollar States (a handful date back to the 1800s), our longevity attests to the qual- Quartet and American English, and a chance ity of Cradle services and the reputation to win one of two 2013 SUVs, Cradle guests we’ve built for excellence and ethics in at First Look will enjoy a private reception adoption practice. with cocktails, hors d’oeuvres, a silent auction and more. Tickets are $250. We invite you to celebrate this milestone with us by taking a look back at some of the highlights of the last nine For more information, visit: decades… ever since the day a very determined Evanston woman put her www.cradlefoundation.org/firstlook wits and her sympathies to work to bring The Cradle to life.

The 1920s: Getting Started & Creating a Model Nursery After eight years of placing babies with families directly from the nursery at Evanston Hospital, wife, mother, local civic leader and adoption advocate Florence Dahl Walrath convinced five prominent businessmen to contribute $1,000 each for the down payment on a house at 2039 Ridge Avenue. The home was purchased on February 19, 1923 for $15,500; on March 12 The Cradle Society was officially in business. Over the next few years, two adjacent properties were acquired through donations, creating a sort of “complex” to accommodate an increasing number of babies and to house the infant nurse trainees who cared for Cradle babies.

Founding mission of The Cradle Society: To furnish needful care for homeless babies and aid in securing for them permanent homes and legal adoption.

An epidemic of gastroenteritis swept through the country in 1927, claiming the lives of 27 of the 270 babies admitted to The Cradle Nursery that year. On November 13, baby Max joined Instead of closing the Nursery, Mrs. Walrath enlisted the help of renowned his new family: Mom and Dad physicians to implement state-of-the art, germicidal and anti-bacterial pro- Angela and Scott Dolezal, and cedures. As a result, the infant mortality rate plummeted. big sister Sophia (Cradle ’08).

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The Cra ilies. dle's mission is nurturing fam to benefit children in and preserve ... by providing education, guidance and lifelong support to create, susta Celebrating Nine Decades of Excellence continued from page 1 The 1930s: Hollywood Connection that stands today. One of those 304 babies became the son of & A New Home Chicago Bears star running back, Gale Sayers. To help promote adoption as a positive way of building The 1970s: The Cradle Turns 50 families, Mrs. Walrath reached Due to the changing times, The Cradle closed Chandler House out to Hollywood. Celebrity at the end of 1970. Hazel Ferguson also retired that year, after couples began adopting two decades as Managing Director. As of 1973, The Cradle’s Cradle babies. George Burns 50th anniversary year, around 11,400 babies had been cared and Gracie Allen, right, for in the Nursery and 10,500 had been placed for adoption. adopted daughter Sandra in 1934 and son Ronnie in 1935. The 1980s: Decline in Adoption Activity Also in 1935, Al Jolson and Along with greater acceptance of single parenting, more Ruby Keeler became parents effective means of birth control and other factors, fewer to Al Jolson, Jr., whom his women were making adoption plans for their babies. Only father called “Sonny Boy.” 41 babies were admitted to the Nursery in 1989 – the lowest number to date in The Cradle’s history. By this time The Cradle Society had outgrown the The 1990s: Resurgence confines of its three houses. On June 11, 1938, a groundbreak- In 1992 there were only 37 placements. That year The ing took place for the handsome stone building that today still Cradle Board of Directors undertook a major effort, known as serves as The Cradle’s headquarters. The new facility at 2049 Resurgence, to reverse this decline and reposition The Cradle Ridge Avenue was dedicated, fittingly, on March 12, 1939. as a national leader in the field of adoption and child welfare. Julie Tye was hired as President, a capital campaign was The 1940s: The Hope Family Grows initiated and Cradle adoption practices were evaluated. An & Chandler House Opens African American infant adoption program (later renamed The Dolores and Bob Hope adopted their second Cradle baby in Sayers Center) was launched in 1994. The Cradle began to 1940 (their first came home in 1939) and two more in 1946. facilitate international adoptions and move toward a philoso- As of January 1949, 5,646 babies had been cared for in the phy of openness in its domestic practice. The entire facility was Nursery and 4,829 had been placed with families. Later that renovated in 1999 and a new, updated nursery was installed. year, The Cradle opened Chandler House, a nonsectarian boarding home for expectant unmarried women. Located at The 2000s: ALP is Born 6100 N. Sheridan Road in Chicago, the home offered a sup- The Cradle launched AdoptionLearningPartners.org (ALP) in portive, communal living arrangement for 22 women and staff. 2002 to bring high quality, online educational resources to adoptive families and adoption professionals, anywhere in the The 1950s: Leadership Change world. From 2002 to 2009, The Cradle Russia program placed Russian-born children with Cradle families in the U.S. The & Further Expansion decade also saw a spike in Nursery admissions, with an average Florence Walrath retired as Managing Director in October 1950 of 96 babies per year and 121 admissions in 2008 alone. and Hazel Ferguson became her successor. The first annual Elizabeth Arden Fashion Show Benefit for The Cradle also took place in 1950. Arden sponsored the fashion show for 17 years, The Cradle Today until her death in 1966. It continued as a fundraiser until 1993. Two years into a new decade and The Cradle is still hard at work creating and sustaining nurturing families, while also In the spring of 1957, construction began on an annex to contending with the present realities of a lingering slow house a dormitory and classrooms for Cradle nurses and train- economy, the lowest U.S. birth rate since 1920, and competi- ees. The building was dedicated on March 9, 1958. Later that tion from internet adoption brokers. Despite these challenges, year, on November 7th, Mrs. Walrath passed away at age 81. we remain committed to The Cradle’s founding mission of providing “needful care” and finding permanent homes for It was because of her benefactions that thousands of babies, while also grow- babies have benefited, not only those who have been ing and adapting our entrusted to Cradle care, but babies everywhere. services to ensure that - from The Cradle Board of Directors’ memorial tribute our families can access the support, education and resources they need, The 1960s: Baby Boom for a lifetime. The Cradle Nursery admitted 2,621 babies over the course of the decade. In 1969 the Nursery experienced the high- The Mahers – dad John, est number of admissions in its history: 304 babies – a record mom Jill and son Ethan – welcomed Cradle baby Julia into their family in January 2010. 2 The Cradle Newsletter MESSAGE FROM THE PRESIDENT

Dear Friends, We continue to push for enforcement of the 2005 Adoption Reform Act, which mandates that any provider of adoption As The Cradle approaches its services in Illinois is licensed and registered with the IRS as a 90-year milestone in March, not-for-profit, 501(c)(3) organization. Regrettably, there are this December we celebrate the still many unlicensed operators in our state whose primary 20th anniversary of what has motivation is profit, not people. been known as The Cradle’s Resurgence Effort. In 1992, the In this increasingly challenging adoption environment, The Board implemented a bold Cradle will continue to advocate for those we have served strategic initiative that has led from the very beginning: vulnerable children, expectant to an expansion of our adoption women and families. In the year ahead, we also plan to services, a sophisticated outreach expand our post adoption services and resources for program, and the development adoptive families. of the most respected online resource for adoption education. You are an important part of our Cradle family – and our legacy. From everyone here in Evanston, we wish you and In our cover story you can read about some of The Cradle’s your family much happiness this holiday season and in the key events, by decade, since our founding in 1923. Our new year. annual “Year in Review” article below covers the highlights of 2012. Inside these pages are the heartfelt words of a Best regards, birthmother, the story of a compassionate adoptee, and news about a Cradle mom and doctor turned author.

The Cradle is made up of extraordinary people, and has accomplished a great deal in its long history, but we still have much work to do. Julie S. Tye

THE YEAR in Review The Cradle’s fiscal year runs from October 1 through September 30, so 2012 officially ended for us a few months ago. Although we have nearly completed the first quarter of FY13, we would like to share with you some highlights from the past year.

As in 2011, The Cradle experienced a combination of successes and challenges, within an increasingly difficult adoption environment. Domestic placements remained flat, while international adoptions continued to decline. Inquiries from women who were facing an unplanned pregnancy, however, were 26% higher in 2012 than the previous year.

The Cradle was licensed by the Indiana Department of Child Services in FY12 and opened an office in Merrillville, IN to serve expectant women in our neighboring state. To date, 10 babies born in Indiana have been placed with Cradle families.

Following are some key statistics from fiscal 2012: Nicole and Jim Karbowski took m 1,044 expectant women contacted The Cradle for information or to make an appointment with a two-week-old Christian home Cradle Birthparent Counselor. from The Cradle on July 2nd. m The Cradle Nursery provided a temporary, nurturing home for 68 babies – 41 boys and 27 girls – and monitored the care of an additional 22 babies who were placed directly from the hospital or from medical foster homes. m 72 babies were placed through The Cradle’s domestic adoption programs: 53% were African American or biracial; 32% were Caucasian; 12% were Hispanic or Latino; and 3% were Asian. m Our international home study program helped 15 children born in eight foreign countries come home with loving families in the U.S. m Cradle counselors completed 82 home studies for prospective adoptive families; as of 9/30/12 there were 109 families on our domestic waiting list. m More than 1,200 individuals received assistance through The Cradle’s Post Adoption Services department. m AdoptionLearningPartners.org launched two new online courses, hosted five webinars and logged 41,465 total enrollments.

We look forward to a positive and productive 2013! The 2012 Cradle Ball

“There is nothing in my life that isn’t informed by my children,” Jamie Lee Curtis told guests at the 18th annual Cradle Ball. The acclaimed actress, best-selling author and activist for children’s causes was the celebrity guest at this year’s Ball, held on Friday, September 28 at The Ritz-Carlton Chicago. Ms. Curtis also attended the 1998 Cradle Ball in celebration of the agency’s 75th anniversary.

More than 300 guests took part in the black-tie affair, which included a cocktail reception, dinner in The Ritz’s stunning 12th floor ballroom, dancing to the music of Rendezvous, and silent and live auctions for fabulous prizes. For the third year, Cradle Board members Erin Dickes and John Luce co-chaired the event. Frederick H. “Rick” Waddell, Chairman and CEO of Northern Trust Corporation, was the Ball’s Honorary Chair, and Northern Trust was the evening’s Presenting Sponsor.

Rick noted that Northern Trust has supported The Cradle for decades, and recognized the many company employees who are adoptive parents. “Every child deserves a family and a home,” Rick said, “and The Cradle helps makes that possible.” He went on to present the 2012 Silver Cradle Awards to representatives from area companies that offer their employees adoption-related benefits.

Silver Cradle Awards ceremony: Lawrena Colombo, PwC; James DeNapoli, BDO USA; Anne Callen and Robin Fell, Advocate Health Care; Daphne Jones, Hospira; Monica Kiser, CME Group; Jan Harty, Fellowes, Inc.; Erin Dickes, Cradle Ball Co-Chair; Frederick Waddell, Northern Trust; John Luce, Cradle Ball Co-Chair; Laura Birk, Barilla America; Beth Gallagher, Aon Corporation; Mike Samonds, Baxter International; Kristi Veitch, VML; Art Simon, William Blair & Company* Chicago radio personality and Cradle parent Kathy Hart, co-host of the top-rated Eric & Kathy Morning Show on 101.9 FM THE MIX, took up the gavel as our guest auctioneer. Two of the exceptional offerings up for bid were a week’s stay at a 16th century home in St. Andrews, Scotland and a week’s stay at deluxe villa in Montego Bay, Jamaica.

The Cradle Ball, which has generated nearly $3.7 million since 1995 in support of The Cradle’s exemplary programs and services for children, expectant women, adoptive parents and adopted persons, is more than just a fundraiser. It is about promoting awareness of ethical adoption practice and celebrating adoptive families.

Cradle President Julie Tye thanked Jamie Lee Curtis for taking time away from her own family to be with our Cradle family at the Ball. “We have spent almost 90 years turning men and women into dads and moms,” Julie said in her remarks.

Curtis grew emotional talking about Annie and Tom, her children with husband Christopher Guest. “I am theirs, they are mine and that’s pro- foundly moving,” she stated. “But without the courage, grace and self- lessness of their birthmothers, I couldn’t say that.”

The Cradle is profoundly grateful to Jamie Lee Curtis, Rick Waddell, Kathy Hart, The Cradle Ball Committee, all of our generous sponsors and auction donors, and everyone who helped to make the evening a great success. Kathy Hart, Rick Waddell and Jamie Lee Curtis

*Other 2012 Silver Cradle recipients: Bank of America, CB Richard Ellis, Crate & Barrel, Deloitte LLP, Integrys Energy Group, Sidley Austin, State Farm, USG and W.W. Grainger.

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Uhlenhop NurseryJoseph Angel K.• & (Phyllis$1,500 Scholl level ) Kathy & Jerry JoelInez & Jessie Eichenbaum CorrineThomas Barb Virginia& Peter & PaulWinnetka Auxiliary KathyBiederman & Jerry Inez FoundationEichenbaum PhyllisCorrineReichert Scholl BarbSereda & Peter Winnetkaof The Cradle Auxiliary LarryBiederman Rubly NurserySolomonFoundationJoseph Angel• K. & (&$Reichert 1,500Alan Curtis level Sereda) Uhlenhop of The Cradle AMERICA, INC. Kathy & Jerry JoelInez & Jessie Eichenbaum CorrineThomas Barb Virginia& Peter & PaulWinnetka Auxiliary AMERICA, INC. Larry Rubly Solomon & Alan Curtis Uhlenhop BiedermanNurseryFoundationJoseph Angel• K. & ($1,500Reichert level )Sereda of The Cradle AMERICA, INC. Kathy & Jerry Inez Eichenbaum Corrine Barb & Peter Winnetka Auxiliary Biederman Foundation Reichert Sereda of The Cradle FriendNursery ofJoseph the Angel• K. Cradle & ($1,500 ($1,000 level level) ) AMERICA, INC. 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Dean Balice ® BiedermanMary & Bernie Foundation Reichert RoccoSereda J. Martino of TheSereda Cradle AMERICA, INC. Friend of the• Cradle ($1,000 level) MarySergesketter & Bernie Kim Simonton Mr. & Mrs. Barb & Peter Dean Balice ® Rocco J. Martino Sereda SergesketterMaryFriend & Bernie of Kimthe• Simonton Cradle ($1,000 level) Sergesketter Kim Simonton Mr. & Mrs. Barb & Peter Dean Balice ® MaryFriend & Bernie of the• Cradle ($1,000 levelRocco) J. Martino Sereda Sergesketter Kim Simonton Mr. & Mrs. Barb & Peter • $ Dean Balice Silver Cradle Award Underwriter® (Rocco1,000 J. Martinolevel) Sereda Mary & Bernie Mr. & Mrs. Barb & Peter Silver CradleSergesketter Award•Kim UnderwriterSimonton ($1,000 level) Dean Balice Silver Cradle AwardBarb• & PeterUnderwriter Sereda ® (Rocco$1,000 J. Martinolevel) Sereda Mary & Bernie Sergesketter BarbKim & Peter Simonton Sereda 4 SilverMary Cradle & Bernie Award Barb• & PeterUnderwriter Sereda ($1,000 level) Sergesketter Kim Simonton 4 4 Silver Cradle AwardBarb• & PeterUnderwriter Sereda ($1,000 level) Barb• & Peter Sereda 4 Silver Cradle Award• Underwriter ($1,000 level) 4 Silver Cradle AwardBarb & PeterUnderwriter Sereda ($1,000 level) Daphne and Max Jones had fun dancing to Rendezvous. Barb & Peter Sereda 4 Daphne accepted a Silver Cradle Award on behalf 4 of her company, Hospira.

Cathy and Bill Klettke traveled from Florida to attend the Ball Jamie Lee Curtis graciously posed with many of our guests, with their Cradle baby, Michelle (’88). including Jim and Lissa Christman. 2012 AUCTION, RAFFLE & SPECIAL PRIZE DONORS

THANK YOU to all of the generous businesses and individuals who donated gifts and services to Cradle Foundation events in 2012.

101.9fm THE MIX Chicago Bulls Marisa and Ed Green 2012 Ryder Cup Community Relations Chicago Children’s Choir h.h. gregg – Geneva Committee Chicago Cubs Grow Books Press ABC Television Network Chicago Fly Fishing Outfitters, Ltd. Teresa Guerriero Adler Planetarium Chicago Shakespeare Theater The Guitar Works, Ltd. Agave Logo Brands Chicago White Sox Joe Haffner Agostino’s Ristorante Italiano Chopin Theatre Colleen Hallagan Amenities Home Design Claim Company Harbor Freight Tools Anheuser Busch Kim and Jeff Cohen Hats by Carol Arlington Park Steve Cole The Hearty Boys Lenore and Frank Arvia Mary and Jim Connelly Peter Hickey AT&T Cosi Inc. Sarah and Scott Hirsch The Bazaar Inc. Steve Cummings Holidazzle Benjamin Restaurant Dance Center Evanston Nancy Iida Bent Fork Bakery Dark Matter Consulting Illinois Sports Facilities Authority Bernardi Securities, Inc. Day at the Races Committee Inovasi Cam Bielat Deerfields Bakery iO Improv Bluegrass Restaurant DeEtta’s Bakery J. Alexander’s Restaurant Penelope Boardman Deloitte LLP James & Williams Jewelers Charlie Boesel DePaul University Merle Reskin Theatre James Martin Associates, Inc. Book Stall at Chestnut Court Destination Fitness Mr. and Mrs. Albert Jovellanos Shane Brennan Erin and Scott Dickes Keevan Sadock Design Jennifer Brinn Designs Toni DiDonato Kehoe Designs Broadway in Chicago Judy and Dan Dorr Marge Kellen Libby Brombach DPS Automotive LLC Matt Keller Brunswick Bowling & Billiards Egea: The North Shore’s Wellness Spa Kidsnips – Deerfield Buffalo Grove Police Department Eli’s Cheesecake World Kidsnips – Wilmette Builder’s Capital, LLC Gary Eng, Five Delta Fox Chef David Koelling Michelle and Kevin Cahoon Enterprise Rent-a-Car Kohl Children’s Museum Carnivale Excel Electric, Inc. Anastasia Kousakis Catering by Michael’s First Look for Charity Committee Telly Kousakis Chalet Nursery & Garden Shops Susan Florsheim Krugel Cobbles Inc. Chicago Architecture Foundation The Four Seasons Resort Nevis Stephanie Kuecker Photography Chicago Bears A Friend of The Cradle Cathy and Frank Kuzel Bobbi Ann and Barry Fulk La De Da! Chef Meg Galus Lake Forest Symphony Geffen Playhouse Lambrecht’s Jewelers, Inc. Susan Giffei and Scott Wiscomb Lettuce Entertain You Enterprises, Inc. Glessner House Museum Dr. Adam Levin Mike Gliori Lifeline Theatre Jess Godwin Lil’ Kickers Goodman Theatre Lincolnshire Marriott Resort Pam and Glenn Gray Loews Santa Monica Beach Hotel

6 The Cradle Newsletter Lou Malnati’s Kirsten, Mark and Mateo Passalino Brad Tustin Doug and John Luce The Peggy Notebaert Nature Museum Ginny and Paul Uhlenhop LuLu’s Dim Sum & Then Sum Pick-Staiger Concert Hall Urban Oasis Luxe Spa Pomum Cellars Viola Imports, Inc. Lynfred Winery The Popcorn Factory Michael Walsh Maplewood Hotel Portraits by Thomas Warbird Heritage Foundation Gail and Jeff Marcella Prairie Grass Café Jeannie Weaver Janet McDonald The Jeff Probst Show Webb Flannery Group McGaw YMCA Protective Wendella Boats Mary and John Meany Mary Rafferty Photography Whirlyball Medieval Times Dinner & Tournament Mary Jane Raymond Ellen and Jeff Williams Metropolis Performing Arts Centre The Ritz-Carlton Chicago Wilmette Tailor & Cleaners Mary Montoye Rosborough Partners Inc. Windy City Flyers Muller Honda Cynthia Rotondo Designs Wood Family Foundation Museum of Contemporary Art Roy’s Chicago Amy O. Woodbury MVP Insurance Agency Mary Ruebenson Writers’ Theatre NBC 5 Chicago John Ruess Your Memories Forever Mark Nesbitt Salon Envy Zanies Comedy Club The Nicholson School Lynn Savalas Night of Promise Committee Gale Sayers North Shore Country Club John G. Shedd Aquarium North Shore Racquet Club Silk Road Rising North Shore Yoga Spare Time Inc. Northern Trust Deloris and Norbert St. John Northlight Theatre St. Louis Cardinals Northwestern University Starbucks, Highland Park Amy and Tom Novicki - Margaret Graf – Atom Associates LLC Linda and Bill Stasek Mary M. Nyman Bill Stasek Chevrolet Oceanique Bob Stasek Kate Olerich Photography Steppenwolf Theatre Company Radio host and Cradle mom, Kathy Hart, Jennifer and Danny O’Shaughnessy Strategic Hotels & Resorts, was our terrific guest auctioneer at the Ball. P.F. Chang’s China Bistro Laurence Geller CBE, CEO Stuart-Rodgers Photography Sutton Studios Sybaris Suites Bede Swisher Table Compliments Taco Diablo Teddie Kossof Salon Three Tarts Bakery and Café TimeLine Theatre Company Tommy Terri FOUNDATION BRIEFS Families Celebrate the Autumn Moon Autumn Moon is a popular lunar harvest festival celebrated throughout Asia, and one of the most important holidays in the Chinese calendar. On October 13, Cradle families with children of Asian heritage gathered at Furama Restaurant in Chicago for our 8th annual Autumn Moon Festival. The kids, many in traditional dress, enjoyed folding origami, doing scratch art and forming handmade clay pots, as well as playing games and draw- ing Chinese characters in a sandbox. After a delicious Asian lunch, our 111 guests were treated to thrilling entertainment, including a Taekwondo dem- onstration, a Sword Dance, Chinese opera and a Peacock Dance. The Truc Lam Buddhist Temple Lion Dance Team was back this year, in their fabulous lion costume, to delight the children and lead them in a lantern parade. Cradle parents Brent Potter and Shahna Richman brought their daughter Lia and son Jacob (who just came home from China in September!) to Autumn Moon.

Cradle Mom Publishes Practical Guidebook Congratulations to Dr. Brooke Jackson, board-certified dermatologist and Sayers Center parent, who launched her new book, Child of Mine: Caring for the Skin and Hair of Your Adopted Child, at a signing event at The Cradle on November 3. Brooke and her husband, James Lackland, adopted twin daughters Reese and Avery in 2007 and son Myles in 2009. “Child of Mine” was created as a resource book for adoptive and transracial families, to teach parents how to facilitate healthy daily routines in skin care and hair care. Topics covered include acne, eczema, rashes, sun protection, scalp problems and hair loss. Proceeds from books sold at the signing event benefited The Cradle’s Sayers Center for African American Adoption. “Child of Mine” is available on Amazon.com for $12.99. Dr. Brooke Jackson, center, with Kristyn Spillman Friske (left) and Karyn Kerr Pettigrew at The Cradle

Sayers Center Families: Call for Volunteers As we begin to celebrate our 90th anniversary at The Cradle, we know that understand- ing the strength of diversity is imperative. Through the years we have encouraged diver- sity and taken great pride in our efforts to be an organization which embraces it. Meeting the needs of the African American adoptive parents, birthparents, staff members and communities we serve is important to The Cradle. Our commitment to diversity is essential to organizational success. Today we reach out to our Sayers Center families to encourage your involvement as volunteer speakers in area high schools through our Volunteers for Adoption Education program; as Cuddlers in The Cradle Nursery; or as members on one of the various boards that exist at The Cradle.

To learn more about these opportunities, please e-mail Nijole Yutkowitz at [email protected].

8 The Cradle Newsletter Adopting Murphy

Turning 60 is a milestone for anyone, but Cradle adoptee Robert Kennedy received an especially momentous gift on his 60th birthday. It was December 2, 2008, and Robert was walking his dog Charlie in a park near his home north of Atlanta. They came upon another dog with severe head injuries, a bloody sledgehammer lying on the ground near the abused creature. Robert rushed the dog to an animal clinic and put the weapon in his car as evidence for when he called the police.

Although the dog was “all but dead” according to Robert, and the veteri- narian, Dr. Pope, gave him only a 10% chance of surviving, Robert didn’t give up on him. “I can’t put him down on my birthday,” he thought. Because Robert had found the dog in Murphey Candler Park, he took to calling him “Murphy.”

Dr. Pope surgically repaired Murphy’s fractured skull and jaw and removed his badly damaged left eye. After an only eight-day recuperation period at the clinic – and frequent visits from Robert – Murphy was strong enough to be released to his rescuer’s care. Because Murphy was considered “live evidence” in the district attorney’s case, however, Robert was granted foster custody until after the trial and eventual conviction of Murphy’s previous owner. The man was sentenced to a year in jail for animal cru- elty, and Robert was able to officially adopt Murphy.

This resilient and well-loved dog went on to live another four years, passing away in early November at age 13. Robert describes Murphy as very loyal and protective, and marvels at what a “cheerful” dog he was, despite everything he had been through.

Robert recently retired after nearly 35 years as Chief Financial Officer for Atlanta’s Capital City Club. He has two adult daughters and a granddaughter who will turn two in January. He always knew that he was adopted and said that his parents, Anamae and Bob, often read a book called The Chosen Baby to him.

When his work brought him to the Chicago area in 1993, Robert came to The Cradle for a visit. It was his first time back since his placement in 1948 and a very moving experience for him. Robert has been supporting The Cradle for more than 20 years. “God has been good to me,” he reflected. “Being adopted is an important aspect of my life, and I was taught early on that it is impor- tant to give back.”

We wish Robert, who turned 64 on December 2nd, a very Happy Birthday!

HELP MAKE 2013 a Great Year for Children Your gift to The Cradle by December 31, 2012 may generate a tax deduction for you while helping The Cradle deliver its unparalleled services to children, women and families. While there is much uncertainty about what 2013 will bring for individuals tax-wise, we do know that charitable gifts given in 2012 will be fully tax-deductible for most donors.

Please consider a gift of cash or appreci- ated securities. If you have a stock that has appreciated in value over its original price and you’ve held it for at least one year, please consider donating shares of that stock or mutual fund today! For more information, please contact Brooke Voss, Cradle Foundation President, at 847.733.3204 or [email protected].

Thank you for caring about The Cradle and the people we serve! NEWSWORTHY ONGOING SUPPORT for Adoptive Famillies CHINESE DELEGATION Visits Invaluable time is spent preparing to become adoptive parents. The Cradle The Cradle helps many families each year learn about the life- On October 17, The Cradle host- long commitment that is adoption. ed a thirty-member delegation But support at The Cradle doesn’t need to end once an including representatives from adoption is final. Whether you are currently facing parenting the China Center for Children’s challenges or not, you can feel comfort in the fact that The Welfare and Adoption (CCCWA) Cradle will continue to support your family as you grow. and orphanage directors from a

dozen provinces in China. They Here are some common issues and ways we can offer help: were in the U.S. visiting a num- ber of organizations across the When is the right time to tell your child she was adopted? country as part of the Orphan Nutrition project – a collaborative Sometimes effort between the Joint Council parents find on International Children’s themselves Services, the SPOON Foundation waiting for just and Mead Johnson. Delegates the “right time” toured The Cradle, learned about our history and present-day to talk to their adoption practice, and visited the Nursery to hear about The child about Cradle’s infant care techniques from Victoria Brooks, Director adoption. They of Nursing. Afterward, the group gathered in The Cradle may be trying dining room for lunch and a presentation of gifts – small, to protect their brightly painted clay pots handcrafted by children at the child from her Autumn Moon Festival on October 13. Two of our distin- own sad feelings guished guests included Lou Xiaoping, Deputy Director- about adoption, or from a story that is difficult to share. Some General of Civil Affairs, Department of Ningxia Hui parents just aren’t sure how to start the conversation. Autonomous Region, and Gan Weiwei, Deputy Director- General of CCCWA, pictured above in The Cradle courtyard. Talking to your child about adoption helps her understand her story. And having a complete story allows your child to make sense of her world, to feel attached to you, and to build her HAGUE ACCREDITATION is Renewed identity. Adoption Learning Partners’ Let’s Talk Adoption provides information on the importance of discussing adoption The Cradle received notifica- and strategies to answer questions. tion in November from the Council on Accreditation Identity Formation that our Hague Accreditation has been renewed through By the time children reach preteen or teenage years, many March 31, 2017. Concluded parents no longer think about the role adoption has in what on May 29, 1993 in the kids are thinking and feeling. Just because your child isn’t talk- Netherlands, the Hague ing about it, however, doesn’t mean she’s not thinking about it. Convention establishes international standards of practices for intercountry adoptions. The treaty was designed to ensure that As children mature, their understanding of adoption becomes intercountry adoptions take place in the best interests of the more nuanced. Questions and concerns may be more difficult child, with respect to his or her fundamental rights. It also seeks for parents to answer or even hear. With a better understand- to prevent the abduction, sale or trafficking of children. The ing of the role adoption plays in identity formation through the United States signed the Convention in 1994, and it entered stages of development, parents are better prepared to address into force for the U.S. in April 2008. Hague Accreditation attests these issues with their children. that The Cradle is in full compliance with Hague Convention standards. The reviewers expressed to us their sincere belief in ALP’s new course, Adopted: The Identity Project, provides the quality of The Cradle’s counseling staff and our approach greater insight into the experiences of an adopted person – to adoption practice. AdoptionLearningPartners.org offers a through the voices of adopted individuals. five-course “Hague Package” of training on topics required for international adoption by the Hague Convention. Check out www.adoptionlearningpartners.org for a complete list of ALP courses and webinars. In addition, The Cradle’s post adoption counseling team offers one-on-one sessions with adoptees. If you would like guidance on your specific family situation, contact us at 847.475.5800.

10 The Cradle Newsletter PARENTING WORKSHOPS at The Cradle

Strategies for Sensory and Regulatory Caring for Afro-Textured Hair and Difficulties in Children Skin: Practical Advice for Parents Saturday, January 19, 2013, 9:30 to 11:30 a.m. of African-American and Biracial Led by Dan Griffith, Ph.D., Clinical Pediatric Psychologist, this Children workshop will help participants identify sensory and regula- Saturday, March 30, 2013, 9 a.m. to 12 Noon tory problems in children, describe the impact these problems may have on familial relationships, and suggest strategies to Join us for a hands-on seminar where participants will learn address these difficulties. basic hair care techniques such as shampooing, condition- ing and styling, as well as the differences between naturally 2 hours of DCFS Foster Care Training/Hague Aligned textured and chemically treated hair styles. Instructors will also provide information on caring for the skin of African and African American children, and addressing dry skin Talking to Your Child About Adoption and eczema. Saturday, March 2, 2013, 9:30 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. 3 hours of DCFS Foster Care Training Join Dori Fujii, LCSW as she discusses the ins and outs of talking to your child about adoption. Dori will cover when to start the conversation, how to share difficult stories and Workshops are open to the community. Fees: $20 per person answer difficult questions, and how your child’s understanding per workshop, $10 for second family member; non-refundable. of adoption changes as they grow. Pre-registration and pre-payment are required. Register online at www.cradle.org/adoption-workshops or by calling 2 hours of DCFS Foster Care Training/Hague Aligned 847.733.3208.

MESSAGE FROM A Cradle Birthmother Earlier this year, a couple made the heartbreaking decision to entrust their baby girl to another family. The baby had significant special needs, and while they loved her very much, they knew they couldn’t give her the life they dreamed for her. Following is a note the birthmom sent to her Cradle counselor a few months after the placement:

I cannot convey to you or anyone else in words to make them understand the agony we were in over the whole situation. We just wanted our baby to have the very best opportunities, care, support and love... and we knew we couldn’t provide all of that and it hurt even more.

You are a wonderful, caring, loving person and we could not have gotten through this heart- breaking time in our lives without you and your organization’s help. You never gave up on us... even when things seemed like they were not going to fall into place.

I’ve always believed that everything happens for a reason. Looking back, I realize that she was never meant for us. There were too many signs along the way. I was just a vessel to bring her to her Mommy and Daddy that God hand picked just for her. I am honored to have played such a small part in her beautiful journey. She is where she belongs... and she is loved!

The birthmom also wrote her daughter a very touching poem, which she gave to the adoptive parents. While it is too long to publish in its entirety, here is an excerpt from “Meant for Someone Else”:

She is not meant for you, My Child, She will be loved beyond words And as she grows, laughs and plays said the voice from above. and get the care she desperately needs. I’ll know that this choice was right. You see, Dear One, she is a gift She will fill the void in their hearts but meant for someone else. and she’ll want for absolutely nothing. And when I miss her most I’ve planned this perfectly and the pain is just too much Just you wait and see! Ok, I replied, she is not meant for me. I’ll whisper to myself I’ll do my very best She was not meant for me Miles and miles away to put on a brave face she was meant for someone else. there waits a family. and ignore this pain in my chest. They love her just as much. I’ll watch over her from afar They too have waited and pray for her each night. a very long time to call her “mine.” NON-PROFIT US POSTAGE 2049 Ridge Avenue | Evanston, IL 60201 847.475.5800 | www.cradle.org PAID PALATINE P&DC, IL CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER Julianne S. Tye, President/CEO PERMIT NO. 240

BOARD OF DIRECTORS Caryn Rowe Africk, Chair Margarita E. Kellen, Vice Chair Peter C. Hickey, Treasurer Janet S. McDonald, Secretary

John K. Barth Penelope L. Boardman David G. Brittsan Richard C. Burnstine, M.D. Erin S. Dickes John F. Dix, Jr. Rose Fealy Anna Marie Hajek Andrea I. Herchenbach Sharlene P.B. Hobson Nicholas B. Kalm John Salvatore Luce, Psy.D Lawrence G. Macy Lawrence H. Rubly Ardythe E. and Gale E. Sayers Barbara S. Sereda Kimberly A. Simonton William R. Stasek Virginia L. Uhlenhop

HONORARY DIRECTORS Margaret M. Adams Harold S. Bott, Jr. John L. Fairfield Stanley M. Freehling Rose Ann and Addison C. Hoof Charles F. Hovey, Jr. Nancy M. Hovey Margaret K. and David E. Mason Mary T. and Michael E. Phenner William C. Rands III Corrine V. Reichert Cynthia M. Sargent Jacqueline L. Schoellhorn Mary H. and Bernard F. Sergesketter Paul B. Uhlenhop

THE CRADLE FOUNDATION BOARD James G. Connelly III, Chair Phyllis S. Thomas, Secretary/Treasurer Therese K. Fauerbach

CRADLE Calendar WINTER 2013

01/17 PARENTING AN ADOPTED CHILD 03/02 TALKING TO YOUR CHILD WITH SPECIAL NEEDS ABOUT ADOPTION ALP Webinar Parenting Workshop* 7-8 p.m. CT; Q&A at 8 p.m. The Cradle, Evanston adoptionlearningpartners.org 9:30 a.m. to 11:30 a.m.

01/19 STRATEGIES FOR SENSORY & 03/30 CARING FOR AFRO-TEXTURED REGULATORY DIFFICULTIES IN HAIR AND SKIN CHILDREN Parenting Workshop* Parenting Workshop* The Cradle, Evanston The Cradle, Evanston 9 a.m. to 12 Noon 9:30 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. *Open to the community. Fee: $20 per person 02/08 FIRST LOOK FOR CHARITY per workshop, $10 for second family member; non-refundable. Register online at McCormick Place, Chicago www.cradle.org/adoption-workshops 7 p.m. to 11 p.m. or by calling 847.733.3208. Happy Holidays!

12 The Cradle Newsletter