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THE PRINCETON TORY February-March 2002 www.princetontory.com Coming Out of the Closet Notes from the Publisher THE PRINCETON Princeton University is, in its most profound sense, an institution dedicated to the education and cultivation of tomorrow’s leaders. And in TORY pursuit of a well-rounded liberal arts February-March 2002 education, Princetonians are constantly Volume XIX - Number 1 involved in the timeless exchange of ideas. From the moment we arrive on campus, a Publisher Editor in Chief wide range of ideologies are thrown in our Pete Hegseth ’03 Brad Simmons ’03 direction. From the Marxists to the atheist Managing Editors Religion Professors to the Secular Humanists, Jennifer Carter ’03 Nitesh Paryani ’05 Princeton’s got ’em all. However, underneath all the liberal noise, there is a Layout Editor Content Editor traditional core to the Princeton experience. It is that core which Amy Burghardt ’05 Nat Hoopes ’03 The Princeton Tory seeks to rediscover. The Tory original Statement of Principles, written in 1984, sums up our mission well: Web Manager Financial Manager “Our objective is to legitimate conservatism as a philosophy and as Brian Beck ’05 Ryan Feeney ’03 an approach for those reformers who seek to ameliorate our social Staff Writers and political problems. We present our views as a challenge to those Nathaniel Norman ’03 Matt O’Brien ’03 who would build their new world by destroying many of those very Carlos Mrosovsky ’04 Pete Sutherland ’04 qualities which we value in our civilization.” Arvin Bahl ’05 John Brunger ’05 As conservatives it is our duty to present the other side of Jonathan Bydlak ’05 Dan Larach ’05 the story—the right side. We will try our damnedest to provide the J. R. Johnson GS Princeton community, and our faithful subscribers, with news and Board of Trustees opinion that unabashedly relay the conservative message—the truth, Peter Heinecke ’87 Mark Banovich ’92 as we know it. While we do not expect any mass conversions, we David Daniels ’89 Brian Tvenstrup ’95 do hope to facilitate a campus discussion. The ideas we accrue on Kim Daniels ’90 Wickham Schmidt ’99 campus soon become the ideas that shape this country and the Timothy Webster ’99 world; and as conservatives we want all Americans and Princetonians to remember that ideas have consequences. I would like to personally invite you to become a part of this The Princeton Tory is a journal of conserva- tive political thought written, edited and produced discussion. Contact me if you’d like to submit a letter-to-the-editor, by Princeton University students and delivered or if you’d simply like to discuss a difference of opinion. And of free of charge to all Princeton students and fac- course, an occasional comment of support is always welcome. I am ulty. The Princeton Tory is a publication of The Princeton Tory, Inc. The opinions expressed honored to be the newest Publisher of the Tory and look forward to herein are those of the authors and not necessar- the task. ily those of the editors, trustees, Princeton Uni- versity, or the Princeton Tory, Inc. Pete Hegseth ’03 The Princeton Tory accepts letters to the editor. [email protected] Direct correspondence to: P.O. Box 1499, Princeton, NJ 08542; or by e-mail: [email protected]. Advertisement rates for The Princeton Tory are: $75 for a quarter page, $110 for a half page, $200 for - The 2002 Tory Editorial Staff - a full page, and $300 for the back cover. Donations to The Princeton Tory are fully tax- deductible. Please mail donations to: P.O. Box 1499, Princeton, NJ 08542. The Princeton Tory is a member of the Colle- giate Network. The Princeton Tory gives special thanks to the Intercollegiate Studies Institute, Princeton Alumni Viewpoints, The Wilbur Foundation, and the Publishers Guild. The Princeton Tory, Inc. is a non-profit corpora- tion registered in New Jersey. No part of this publica- tion should be construed to promote any pending leg- islation or to support any candidate for office. No part of this publication may be reproduced without ex- press written consent of the Publisher. Copyright © 2001, The Princeton Tory, Inc. 2 · THE PRINCETON TORY FEBRUARY/MARCH 2002 THE PRINCETON TORY February-March 2002 www.princetontory.com THE RANT The Tory comments on: ¾ obesity ¾ binge drinking ¾ angry grad students ¾ homophobia on the ‘Street’ ¾ French cowardice and more... ON CAMPUS 6 Diversity, Shmiversity The University’s superficial definition of diversity assumes Princetonians have the intellect of pre-pubescent teens. COVER STORY Jenn Carter ’03 8 SVC on the Rocks Coming to Terms with One part service and two parts One’s Ideology liberal demagoguery. Stir well. A Princeton student finally Brad Simmons ’03 makes peace with his conservative nature and comes out with the news to his family and friends. UNITED STATES By Nitesh Paryani ’05 PAGE 10 12 Axis of Foolishness Three impressionable Ameri- can youths fall prey to militant Islam. A sign of things to come? INTERNATIONAL THE LAST WORD Pete Hegseth ’03 15 Problems on the Peninsula 19 The Vagina Monologues 14 Nix on the Creationism A first-hand perspective on the Raunchy ad campaign deserves Why science and religion growing unrest in the Arabian condemnation, despite weak “defense” belong in different classrooms. peninsula. by campus lefty. Brian Beck ’05 J. R. Johnson GS Ryan Feeney ’03 FEBRUARY/MARCH 2002 THE PRINCETON TORY · 3 THE RANT ¾ U.S. Surgeon General David Satcher spoke to drinking is fun. And, yes, binge drinking can be fun. Princeton students on February 7th, detailing the That’s why most students opposed the local alcohol newest health reports concerning the rising danger of ordinance, that’s why most students get hammered obesity. Satcher warned that, over the next fifteen at the clubs every week, and that’s why the years, obesity will replace tobacco as the leading “imperative” to reduce binge drinking ought to be cause of preventable deaths in the United States. reconsidered. Administrators and USG elites Not surprisingly, the audience at Satcher’s address consider drinking six or more beers to be unhealthy, was unwilling to recognize obesity as a serious and they certainly have the right to explain their public health problem without significant position. After that, it’s the responsibility and qualifications. Those present seemed intent on privilege of students to decide how to spend their understanding the institutional, cultural, genetic, and extracurricular time. familial factors related to overeating. Satcher stuck to his guns, calmly recognizing the partial validity of ¾ Searching for a purpose, Students for such remarks but insisting that additional exercise Progressive Education and Action (SPEAC) and a low-calorie diet were the most important recently lambasted Princeton for its continuing elements of any solution. Conservatives have contracts with companies whose practices are always recognized the role individual responsibility inconsistent with appropriate standards of “fair ought to play in alleviating social crises and Satcher, labor.” SPEAC cited just one example in its letter to though not a Tory favorite, deserves praises for the editor published February 11th issue of the withstanding an intellectually hostile crowd. Allow ‘Prince’: the conduct of New Era Cap Company. us to put into words what Satcher ought to have said Trouble is, as SPEACsters later learned, Princeton’s to his student critics: if you want to lose weight, try contract with New Era was terminated last year. eating less. Oops. ¾ The campaign against binge drinking always ¾ Beware of angry grad students searching heats up after bicker week, but the hypocrisy of desperately for a cause. In the February 18th issue efforts to reduce alcohol consumption is particularly of the Prince, graduate student Nick Guyatt wrote apparent this year. Several months ago, USG an editorial declaring “Black Hawk Down”— a members and high-level administrators urged recent blockbuster hit and personal favorite of the students to protest the town’s ordinance permitting Tory—a racist movie. Guyatt summarizes the movie greater enforcement of underage drinking statutes, as “143 minutes of white guys killing black people.” decrying the possibility of law enforcement officials Well, we’d like to point out that the actual skirmish intruding on “private” property. The beginnings of took place over the course of fifteen hours—but ideological inconsistency were already present then, Guyatt is correct, it was fifteen hours of white for it is precisely the antithesis of that principle – that American GI’s killing hostile black Somalis. Guyatt the eating clubs are not strictly private – that gave calls the movie a “fallacious rendering of history,” courts the authority to mandate their inclusion of when in fact the American-made movie merely women. The uncomfortable truth is that, for many, depicts what actually happened. The fact is that we 4 · THE PRINCETON TORY FEBRUARY/MARCH 2002 had the highly trained soldiers and the toys to back ¾ Recently the Foreign Minister of France, Mr. them up—did you see those machine guns? Wow. Hubert Vedrine, openly criticized the United States’ We lost 18 men, they lost close to 1,000. Should approach to terrorism as “simplistic.” The only the movie have highlighted every Somali casualty as question is—who cares? Based on the modern Guyatt seems to suggest? That might actually have military history of both countries, it seems odd that required 15 hours of film. Regardless, the courage the French are even attempting to critique United of America’s soldiers in a time of great distress is States military policy. In fact, hasn’t France already what is to be commended. The commander’s plan formally surrendered to terrorism? was poor and the chips were stacked against them—but as always, American GI’s won in the ¾ Is Martin Luther King Really More Important end, as they always do.