February-March 2002 www.princetontory.com

Coming Out of the Closet Notes from the Publisher THE PRINCETON is, in its most profound sense, an institution dedicated to the education and cultivation of tomorrow’s leaders. And in TORY pursuit of a well-rounded liberal arts February-March 2002 education, Princetonians are constantly Volume XIX - Number 1 involved in the timeless exchange of ideas. From the moment we arrive on campus, a Publisher Editor in Chief wide range of ideologies are thrown in our Pete Hegseth ’03 Brad Simmons ’03 direction. From the Marxists to the atheist Managing Editors Religion Professors to the Secular Humanists, Jennifer Carter ’03 Nitesh Paryani ’05 Princeton’s got ’em all. However, underneath all the liberal noise, there is a Layout Editor Content Editor traditional core to the Princeton experience. It is that core which Amy Burghardt ’05 Nat Hoopes ’03 The Princeton Tory seeks to rediscover. The Tory original Statement of Principles, written in 1984, sums up our mission well: Web Manager Financial Manager “Our objective is to legitimate conservatism as a philosophy and as Brian Beck ’05 Ryan Feeney ’03 an approach for those reformers who seek to ameliorate our social Staff Writers and political problems. We present our views as a challenge to those Nathaniel Norman ’03 Matt O’Brien ’03 who would build their new world by destroying many of those very Carlos Mrosovsky ’04 Pete Sutherland ’04 qualities which we value in our civilization.” Arvin Bahl ’05 John Brunger ’05 As conservatives it is our duty to present the other side of Jonathan Bydlak ’05 Dan Larach ’05 the story—the right side. We will try our damnedest to provide the J. R. Johnson GS Princeton community, and our faithful subscribers, with news and Board of Trustees opinion that unabashedly relay the conservative message—the truth, Peter Heinecke ’87 Mark Banovich ’92 as we know it. While we do not expect any mass conversions, we David Daniels ’89 Brian Tvenstrup ’95 do hope to facilitate a campus discussion. The ideas we accrue on Kim Daniels ’90 Wickham Schmidt ’99 campus soon become the ideas that shape this country and the Timothy Webster ’99 world; and as conservatives we want all Americans and Princetonians to remember that ideas have consequences. I would like to personally invite you to become a part of this The Princeton Tory is a journal of conserva- tive political thought written, edited and produced discussion. Contact me if you’d like to submit a letter-to-the-editor, by Princeton University students and delivered or if you’d simply like to discuss a difference of opinion. And of free of charge to all Princeton students and fac- course, an occasional comment of support is always welcome. I am ulty. The Princeton Tory is a publication of The Princeton Tory, Inc. The opinions expressed honored to be the newest Publisher of the Tory and look forward to herein are those of the authors and not necessar- the task. ily those of the editors, trustees, Princeton Uni- versity, or the Princeton Tory, Inc. Pete Hegseth ’03 The Princeton Tory accepts letters to the editor. [email protected] Direct correspondence to: P.O. Box 1499, Princeton, NJ 08542; or by e-mail: [email protected]. Advertisement rates for The Princeton Tory are: $75 for a quarter page, $110 for a half page, $200 for - The 2002 Tory Editorial Staff - a full page, and $300 for the back cover. Donations to The Princeton Tory are fully tax- deductible. Please mail donations to: P.O. Box 1499, Princeton, NJ 08542. The Princeton Tory is a member of the Colle- giate Network. The Princeton Tory gives special thanks to the Intercollegiate Studies Institute, Princeton Alumni Viewpoints, The Wilbur Foundation, and the Publishers Guild. The Princeton Tory, Inc. is a non-profit corpora- tion registered in New Jersey. No part of this publica- tion should be construed to promote any pending leg- islation or to support any candidate for office. No part of this publication may be reproduced without ex- press written consent of the Publisher. Copyright © 2001, The Princeton Tory, Inc.

2 · THE PRINCETON TORY FEBRUARY/MARCH 2002 THE PRINCETON TORY February-March 2002 www.princetontory.com

THE RANT

The Tory comments on: ¾ obesity ¾ binge drinking ¾ angry grad students ¾ homophobia on the ‘Street’ ¾ French cowardice and more...

ON CAMPUS

6 Diversity, Shmiversity The University’s superficial definition of diversity assumes Princetonians have the intellect of pre-pubescent teens. COVER STORY Jenn Carter ’03

8 SVC on the Rocks Coming to Terms with One part service and two parts One’s Ideology liberal demagoguery. Stir well. A Princeton student finally Brad Simmons ’03 makes peace with his conservative nature and comes out with the news to his family and friends. UNITED STATES By Nitesh Paryani ’05 PAGE 10 12 Axis of Foolishness Three impressionable Ameri- can youths fall prey to militant Islam. A sign of things to come? INTERNATIONAL THE LAST WORD Pete Hegseth ’03 15 Problems on the Peninsula 19 The Vagina Monologues 14 Nix on the Creationism A first-hand perspective on the Raunchy ad campaign deserves Why science and religion growing unrest in the Arabian condemnation, despite weak “defense” belong in different classrooms. peninsula. by campus lefty. Brian Beck ’05 J. R. Johnson GS Ryan Feeney ’03

FEBRUARY/MARCH 2002 THE PRINCETON TORY · 3 THE RANT

¾ U.S. Surgeon General David Satcher spoke to drinking is fun. And, yes, binge drinking can be fun. Princeton students on February 7th, detailing the That’s why most students opposed the local alcohol newest health reports concerning the rising danger of ordinance, that’s why most students get hammered obesity. Satcher warned that, over the next fifteen at the clubs every week, and that’s why the years, obesity will replace tobacco as the leading “imperative” to reduce binge drinking ought to be cause of preventable deaths in the United States. reconsidered. Administrators and USG elites Not surprisingly, the audience at Satcher’s address consider drinking six or more beers to be unhealthy, was unwilling to recognize obesity as a serious and they certainly have the right to explain their public health problem without significant position. After that, it’s the responsibility and qualifications. Those present seemed intent on privilege of students to decide how to spend their understanding the institutional, cultural, genetic, and extracurricular time. familial factors related to overeating. Satcher stuck to his guns, calmly recognizing the partial validity of ¾ Searching for a purpose, Students for such remarks but insisting that additional exercise Progressive Education and Action (SPEAC) and a low-calorie diet were the most important recently lambasted Princeton for its continuing elements of any solution. Conservatives have contracts with companies whose practices are always recognized the role individual responsibility inconsistent with appropriate standards of “fair ought to play in alleviating social crises and Satcher, labor.” SPEAC cited just one example in its letter to though not a Tory favorite, deserves praises for the editor published February 11th issue of the withstanding an intellectually hostile crowd. Allow ‘Prince’: the conduct of New Era Cap Company. us to put into words what Satcher ought to have said Trouble is, as SPEACsters later learned, Princeton’s to his student critics: if you want to lose weight, try contract with New Era was terminated last year. eating less. Oops.

¾ The campaign against binge drinking always ¾ Beware of angry grad students searching heats up after bicker week, but the hypocrisy of desperately for a cause. In the February 18th issue efforts to reduce alcohol consumption is particularly of the Prince, graduate student Nick Guyatt wrote apparent this year. Several months ago, USG an editorial declaring “Black Hawk Down”— a members and high-level administrators urged recent blockbuster hit and personal favorite of the students to protest the town’s ordinance permitting Tory—a racist movie. Guyatt summarizes the movie greater enforcement of underage drinking statutes, as “143 minutes of white guys killing black people.” decrying the possibility of law enforcement officials Well, we’d like to point out that the actual skirmish intruding on “private” property. The beginnings of took place over the course of fifteen hours—but ideological inconsistency were already present then, Guyatt is correct, it was fifteen hours of white for it is precisely the antithesis of that principle – that American GI’s killing hostile black Somalis. Guyatt the eating clubs are not strictly private – that gave calls the movie a “fallacious rendering of history,” courts the authority to mandate their inclusion of when in fact the American-made movie merely women. The uncomfortable truth is that, for many, depicts what actually happened. The fact is that we

4 · THE PRINCETON TORY FEBRUARY/MARCH 2002 had the highly trained soldiers and the toys to back ¾ Recently the Foreign Minister of France, Mr. them up—did you see those machine guns? Wow. Hubert Vedrine, openly criticized the United States’ We lost 18 men, they lost close to 1,000. Should approach to terrorism as “simplistic.” The only the movie have highlighted every Somali casualty as question is—who cares? Based on the modern Guyatt seems to suggest? That might actually have military history of both countries, it seems odd that required 15 hours of film. Regardless, the courage the French are even attempting to critique United of America’s soldiers in a time of great distress is States military policy. In fact, hasn’t France already what is to be commended. The commander’s plan formally surrendered to terrorism? was poor and the chips were stacked against them—but as always, American GI’s won in the ¾ Is Martin Luther King Really More Important end, as they always do. than Lincoln? The University has certainly answered this question. While Martin Luther ¾ So, Homophobia on the Street. The sign King’s birthday (MLK Day) was celebrated sparked our curiosity, so we attended with noble with a large service in the University Chapel, intentions. We have never witnessed any sort of Lincoln’s birthday (February 12th) passed homophobic act at the Street, but the sign indicated without mention. Also, it was very unfortunate to that such events do occur. And so we went, and we see President’s Day (that was February 18th for all heard some of the unfortunate stories of gay students our fellow patriots) come and go without any formal being physically or verbally harassed while partying recognition. Frankly, we find it absurd that the at the Street. The students who relayed these acts University spends so much time celebrating the life to the audience should be commended for their of Dr. King without even mentioning the original bravery, and we at the Tory sincerely hope that champion of minority rights, Abraham Lincoln. other students on campus recognize that any Martin Luther King deserves extensive study and harassment of a homosexual based solely on his/her praise, but only alongside Lincoln. Without Lincoln, sexual choice is unjust. Unfortunately, according to the ugly face of slavery might still be evident today. the panelists, the lack of harassment that they face at Without Lincoln, there would never have been a Princeton is the greater, and more serious, issue. Martin Luther King to protest peacefully. While Dr. Panelists lamented the fact that other students don’t King won civil rights for black Americans, Lincoln violently confront them on a daily basis. One won them basic HUMAN RIGHTS. In fact, Lincoln student actually stated that he wished people would was willing to fight the bloodiest war ever on Ameri- approach him and scream demeaning slurs at him. can soil in order to maintain the Union, free from Others described their concern that, for the most slavery; in doing this, Lincoln kept intact the ultimate part, they live completely normal lives, and that, integrity of our Constitutional ideals. Martin Luther outside of infrequent confrontations, no one bothers King was a great man as well—winning blacks their them about their sexuality. Wow, that sounds pretty due civil rights while staying true to American ideals. rough. You mean they aren’t harassed on a daily But do Dr. King’s actions deserve more praise than basis? Can you believe that people are actually those of Lincoln? We think not. The Tory salutes cordial and nice when they speak to them? Well, Lincoln and his eternal contributions to the greatest, pardon us for not bringing out our handkerchiefs and and most diverse, country the world has ever known crying a river. Isn’t it funny that those who once bemoaned their differential treatment have changed ¾ Can we please go to Iraq already? We’ve their tune and now clamor for it? Instead of making established that Saddam is evil and that he has the meeting a productive session where problems biological and chemical weapons of mass were announced and solutions discussed, the destruction at his fingertips. What further evidence panelists whined about how bad their Princeton is needed? Lets take him out, and his crazy son with University lives are. We only have question: With so him. many different groups sponsoring the event, why wasn’t the Tory contacted to be a co-sponsor? —Compiled by the Tory Editors

FEBRUARY/MARCH 2002 THE PRINCETON TORY · 5 CAMPUS DIVERSITY, SHMIVERSITY Race and the Humanities at Princeton University by Jennifer Carter ’03

Just before course cards were due for “illustrative” purpose, testifying to the Contexts of Dramatic Political Change) is the spring term, a booklet entitled Race, supposed progressiveness of Princeton’s not. Ethnicity, and Cross-Cultural Encounter: curriculum and attempting to vindicate the · HUM 232/3 (Literatures of the World) A Guide to Undergraduate Courses existence of the Diversity Committee. are missing from the list, as is the rest of appeared in Worse still, it reaffirms the the program in Humanistic Studies. every student University’s limited and divisive The overwhelming arbitrariness of the mailbox on conceptions of diversity. courses listed in Race, Ethnicity, and campus. As a tool Race, Ethnicity, and Cross- Cross-Cultural Encounter underscores Published Cultural Encounter lists 83 the insulting irrelevance of such a by the office of for students, courses for Spring 2002 publication. the Dean of the (in addition to 80 for Fall One wonders College, the the booklet 2001 and 64 not offered Attempts to whether booklet is the this year) from 25 anyone product of a is wholly ar- departments and foster diver- actually chose 1995 task force programs. One their courses on diversity. It bitrary and immediately wonders at sity have based on the offers a the subjectivity of such contents of description of long lists. For example: only served this booklet. “courses in the unhelpful. · Four Spanish-language Furthermore, curriculum that courses and one French to reinforce we should be explore racial, course qualify as “cross- troubled and ethnic, and cultural diversity” and claims cultural,” but no courses in any of the racial offended by to be “illustrative rather than exhaustive.” the other 16 languages taught at the implication Four pages of explanatory text are followed, Princeton. that students however, by a nine-page listing of · AMS 307 (BeBop: Triumph of status quo. receiving a hundreds of courses that would indeed the Avant-Garde in Pop Culture) is liberal arts appear to be very exhaustive. listed, but ECS 321 (Cultural Explosion: education at Princeton are unable to The annual publication of this booklet Avant-Garde and Dictatorship in the choose a diverse and mind-opening is troubling both on practical and Soviet Union) is not. curriculum on their own. philosophical levels. Surely the thousands · POL 316 (Civil Liberties) is listed, but What we have here, at least in part, is of dollars and hundreds of hours of faculty POL 318 (Law and Society) is not. a backlash against the conservative “great time involved could have been better spent · ANT 330 (Ethnographic Perspectives books” curricula that have reappeared in elsewhere. As a tool for students, the on States in Transnational Contexts) is many of the nation’s universities. booklet is wholly arbitrary and unhelpful. listed, but ANT 230 (Ethnographic Princeton’s version is the humanities It serves only its self-proclaimed Perspectives on Everyday Lives in sequence HUM 216-219, devoted to the

6 · THE PRINCETON TORY FEBRUARY/MARCH 2002 CAMPUS canon of Western culture. Along with the American) are heavily funded and USG Focus on Minorities report, rest of the Humanities Council offerings, promoted by the University. The Third “minorities need to sign-in and bicker. these apparently close-minded courses fail World Center suggests to ethnic-minority Period.” Meanwhile, the University’s to meet the University’s standards for students that they need their own separate present attempts to foster diversity have diversity. space on campus. Surveys and USG only served to reinforce the racial status Race, Ethnicity, and Cross-Cultural reports attempt to reveal, over and over quo, affirming differences and erecting Encounter is a ethnic barriers. symptom of a The Third larger problem World Center’s plaguing the pending name University: a change is a step glaring in the right misunderstanding direction, of what diversity reflecting a desire means. to deconstruct “Understanding the racial barriers diversity is that divide this central, not campus. Yet not peripheral, to until the our academic University stops objectives,” bombarding insists the Task minority students Force on with the message Diversity in “you’re a the introduction minority, you’re a to the booklet. minority” will But apparently, diversity begin to understanding encompass more diversity means than just simply engaging superficial in “critical outward analysis of characteristics. cultural, ethnic, Instead of [and] racial encouraging a differences.” truly liberal and This call for humanistic superficial education, the analysis based University’s on skin color booklet on and nationality diversity is just one of destructively many examples fixates upon race of the rhetoric of and ethnicity — difference so mere prevalent on superficialities this campus. compared to the True diversity of ideas, diversity sees beliefs and no skin color or worldviews nationality, but found on the only ideas— Princeton good and bad, old and new, conservative again, that there are serious racial divides University campus. As George Moore and liberal alike. on this campus, socially and otherwise. wrote, “after all there is but one race — When freshmen of color arrive on It appears that Princeton students humanity.” campus, Minority Affairs Advisors are recognize these problems and have a good Therefore, our studies and our lives there to remind them that they are different. sense for what is required to overcome here should, above all, constructively History and Heritage Months (Black, them. “If the ‘Street’ is to become more explore and reflect the wonderful richness Latino, and Asian-Pacific, but not diverse,” wrote a minority student in the of the human race.

FEBRUARY/MARCH 2002 THE PRINCETON TORY · 7 CAMPUS SVC ON THE ROCKS A ‘NONPARTISAN’ GROUP? by Brad Simmons ’03 Progressive, diversity, “the goodwill, I’d say. Why, then, the show that nine out of ten Americans back administration” – all words I have come to organization insists on joining the political the war on terrorism as it is being interpret as codewords for dogmatic causes célèbres of the day – and without conducted. Large majorities favor harsh leftism on campus. Add to this burgeoning fail supporting the corresponding liberal treatment in the prosecution of terrorists, list “nonpartisan,” a label that student including the possibility of conducting groups without official political ties or trials by way of military tribunals. I leanings use to cover up fairly obvious shouldn’t have to point out that the political agendas. Those funds are Justice Department’s possible requests for It happens all the time among national information are leagues away from these advocacy groups. The liberal National meant to assist measures. I have come to expect non- w. Abortion and Reproductive Rights Action mainstream thinking at Princeton, but League (NARAL) is technically the entire mem- objecting to the government’s nonpartisan, for instance, because its investigatory efforts may take the cake. endorsements are issue- rather than party- Second, “racial profiling,” a term driven. If a Republican supports pro- bership, rather coined by activists concerned with police choice legislation more vigorously than stops along the New Jersey Turnpike in her Democratic opponent, NARAL gives than soothe the the early 1990s, is an insidious misnomer her the nod. Same goes (but in the reverse in this context. Profiling on the basis of direction) for the NRA. guilty con- race is typically laden with speculation, as Because organizations whose it presumes that a person’s race alone is constituents are found almost exclusively sciences of its sufficient to suspect criminal behavior on at the extremes of the political spectrum his/her part. It has little or nothing to do still take advantage of the “nonpartisan” elites. with a specific, ongoing criminal credibility boost, we would do well to investigation employing a multifaceted ignore the label altogether. When the profile. As the Center for Equality NAACP, American Conservative Union, take on each of those issues – is beyond Opportunity’s Roger Clegg surmises, the Citizens for Tax Justice, Federalist Society, me. 9/11 perpetrators and masterminds are and The New York Times can be uttered in Consider the recently assembled almost certainly young or middle-aged the same breath as “nonpartisan,” we’ve coalition of student groups opposed to the Arab males, of Muslim faith, and almost got problems. Justice Department’s move to gather universally (in the case of the architects) Which somehow brings me to information from universities in the recipients of higher education. They also Princeton’s Student Volunteers Council aftermath of the September 11 attacks. have a penchant for learning how to (SVC). The role SVC plays on campus is a Arguing that such efforts target students operate large vehicles. That’s a pretty vital one, inculcating in on-balance of Arab descent and ipso facto constitute specific profile, certainly more damning privileged students the value of service unconscionable acts of “racial profiling,” than that devastating “middle-aged white with and for the needy. I participated in these groups asked Princeton officials to male” description used routinely in law the program formerly known as Urban “consider a position of non-compliance” enforcement, over which no one seems to Action my freshman year and truly with the investigations. Sit on that one for throw tantrums. enjoyed it, though I confess my a second. The groups asked Princeton to We can all pretend that an illiterate delinquency in volunteering since. obstruct federal investigations into old Swedish woman is just as likely to be According to official SVC material, the terrorist activity: to disobey the law. connected to Al-Qaida as an Iraqi-born organization’s mission is to “promote an Let’s go on a tangent for a moment, physics major at an elite university. I’d ethic of community involvement,” all the for the politically charged nature of this prefer to play “pretend” on some other day, while developing “partnerships within our petition can only be fully grasped with a though – maybe when a transnational community.” The stuff of decency and bit of explanation. First, polls consistently terrorist organization hasn’t made explicit

8 · THE PRINCETON TORY FEBRUARY/MARCH 2002 CAMPUS its intention to obliterate Israel and the SVC simply made known its liberal leanings those from the organization at large. This West writ large. Point being, nationality- or perhaps made public the organization’s strikes me as particularly disingenuous. conscious profiling in a criminal positions on a range of public policy issues Imagine Princeton’s Board of Trustees investigation is not an open-and-shut case (if they aren’t neatly aligned with acting in unison to support a political of ethical misconduct. Even if it were contemporary liberalism), then this issue crusade, but admonishing those who paid wrong, making the case against it requires would be moot. attention to its connection with the several contentious political judgments, But again and again, the SVC uses its university. I can see the headlines now: most of which happen to be decidedly left- nonpartisan credibility to back clearly “Princeton Board Objects to Investigation, of-center. partisan issues. While scouring the Yells at Onlookers for Noticing Princeton Back to the Student Volunteers archives of official SVC statements for Affiliation.” Council. According to the Princeton Peace exculpatory evidence, I came upon a Surely SVC board members realize that Network’s web site, the anti-profiling defiant ‘Prince’ op-ed collectively written their influence stems overwhelmingly from movement was a “joint project with the by the SVC student board. Penned during the broader organization’s presumed Student Volunteers Council and other the heyday of sweatshop protests, the status as a genuinely objective authority groups,” including the Democratic Left, board expressed its disgust with the on local affairs. If its institutional weight Princeton Greens, and SPEAC. Not exactly presence of sweatshops, simultaneously were irrelevant to the anti-profiling the most mainstream bunch. Former SVC reasserting SVC’s status as a “non- campaign, then why bother deploying the board member Laura Kaplan concedes that partisan, apolitical service organization.” letters “S-V-C” in the first place? SVC resources were used to promote this What’s more, the “board vs. movement, and PPN organization” project head Lee distinction fails to Worden notes that legitimize the use of “they (SVC) SVC funds, building definitely have been space, and involved in the distribution campaign since the resources in beginning.” political movements When an anti- like the one seen profiling petition recently. Those was submitted as a funds have been letter to the editor in given to and are the ‘Prince,’ meant to assist the however, the list of entire membership, student groups endorsing it neglected to Would an apolitical group cry foul rather than soothe the guilty consciences mention SVC, let alone its apparent role as when a student proposed coordinating an of its elites. co-coordinator. I suppose it’s conceivable urban-focused community service project There must be some reason SVC that this omission was the result of sloppy with a local Boy Scouts chapter? (The Boy leaders feel compelled to add the heft of editing or space constraints. Conceivable, Scouts is a bigoted organization, for their organization to these causes, instead but doubtful. Worden confirmed my forgetful readers.) of merely signing on their own names as suspicions about SVC’s role in the letter- Would the former head of such a individuals. Perhaps it’s the widespread writing, allowing that board members nonpartisan, apolitical group confess to a name recognition, the far-reaching e-mail helped in “drafting and delivering that reporter her sorrow at Princeton’s list, the financial resources, or some letter,” as well as the corresponding public disconnect from the sort of activism seen combination thereof. These are precisely forum about the Justice Department’s at Brown and Berkeley? the reasons that self-proclaimed post-9/11 efforts. Would it object to an investigation “apolitical” organizations have a duty to It is comforting to know that SVC into terrorist activity on the grounds that refrain from titular association with leaders would prefer not to be known as law enforcement authorities cannot controversial bouts of activism. To do behind-the-scenes helpers with consider a person’s geographic otherwise inserts an element of ideological movements whose character is undeniably background? I’m curious: under this rancor into a group whose message ought slanted and political. It would be even more flexible definition of “apolitical” to be untainted and inclusive of all comforting if that help ceased. community service, what precisely would students’ perspectives. Now, I have nothing wrong with the SVC not be permitted to do, aside from If only to reclaim the integrity of an partisanship; I’m writing for the Tory, for knocking down the doors to the Oval otherwise upstanding organization, the God’s sake. It’s when politically neutral Office and diving for Cheney’s defibrillator? Student Volunteers Council should restore organizations issue decrees – when the Relevant SVC authorities tell me that meaning to its status as a nonpartisan opinions of their members are clearly not a distinction ought to be drawn between entity or do away with that pretense monolithic – that I get frustrated. If the endorsements issued by the board and entirely.

FEBRUARY/MARCH 2002 THE PRINCETON TORY · 9 COVER STORY OUT OF THE CLOSET.... by Nitesh Paryani ’05

So I did it. I came clean. After years uncomfortable with my conservatism. home. What was I to say? How could I of denying it to everyone – even to myself They do their best to avoid any break the news without hurting them? I – I finally just went out and said it. discussions about politics. And when decided the best way would just be to I’m a conservative. these discussions do come up, it’s obvious come out and say it. No fluffing it up or That’s right. A conservative. An my hall-mates are embarrassed to discuss beating around the bush; I just needed to honest-to-God, free market-loving, the issue with me: they turn all red, they say: “I’m conservative and I’m PROUD!” affirmative action- I had to tell my opposed, non- high school egalitarian girlfriend. I mean, conservative. I she deserved to know society may know. I had not accept me for deceived her for what I am. But I so long; she was can’t stand living a good friend to my life denying me and I owed it my true identity. I to her to tell the had to come truth. She was clean. I had to devastated. She embrace my kept asking, conservatism – “Was it me? Did despite the I make you turn consequences conservative? that it may bring. Was it something I know I will be I did?” I told her discriminated that it wasn’t her against, that fault. I told her I people will look was a down on me, and conservative well that people will before we started draw all sorts of dating; I assured assumptions her that I had just about me – just tried to ignore because I label that fact while myself “a we’re dating. She conservative.” wouldn’t believe They don’t even know me…but they’ll fidget, and they avoid making eye contact it. She was convinced it was her fault. judge me anyway. with me. It’s obvious that they have a She even said she would stop dating; the For example, a lot of the kids in my problem with my being conservative. fact that she turned a man into a dorm here know that I’m a conservative. While it may have been hard to come conservative absolutely devastated her. They treat me differently because of it; it’s clean to my friends here at Princeton, it Then I had to tell my friends. This pretty easy to see that they are was even harder to tell everyone back wasn’t easy. We had spent all our time

10 · THE PRINCETON TORY FEBRUARY/MARCH 2002 COVER STORY ..AND PROUD!

making fun of conservatives. We’d see a “Besides,” he said, “I’m your brother and on Princeton, saying that this “crazy elitist guy who we knew was conservative (you you know I will always support you, even school had turned me into a conservative.” know how people always say they just if you’re a…con…con…even if you’re not He would definitely stop helping me pay know that someone is conservative), a liberal.” What about telling Mom and for tuition, that’s for sure. He would wearing his J. Crew sweater-vest and his Dad, I asked? He just wished me good probably disown me. I can’t tell him. He penny-loafers, and we’d taunt him. We’d luck. just wouldn’t understand. chase conservatives down the street, And my mom. Oh boy my mom. She threatening to beat would say them up if we caught something them. Telling them like: “How can that I had become a you be conservative…I conservative? just didn’t know Indians are not how they would conservative!” react. They’d She would be probably stop so ashamed. talking to me. What would all They’d probably her friends say beat me up the next if they found time they saw me. out? What Surprisingly would the , my friends were all neighbors pretty cool about it. say? And I guess college had what if I opened up their wanted to minds – they had bring become more conservative accepting of friends home diverse lifestyles with me? Well and realized that that would conservatives definitely be weren’t “evil.” This out of the was a major relief. I question. used the positive No. I can’t tell support that I got mom and dad from my friends to muster up the strength I couldn’t bring myself to tell them. I now. But maybe in time. After graduation. to tell my brother. mean…how would they react? I know how When I’m on my own. When I don’t have My brother too was surprisingly more they’d react. They would go crazy. My to go back and live in their house. supportive than I thought he would be. dad would be in total shock. How could But I’m glad I came clean. I couldn’t But I attributed this also to the fact that he his own son reject liberalism? It would live the lie any longer. I’m conservative, had gone to college not too long ago. destroy him. He would probably blame it and I’m proud!

FEBRUARY/MARCH 2002 THE PRINCETON TORY · 11 UNITED STATES AXIS OF FOOLISHNESS by Pete Hegseth ’03

The events of September 11th brought the Taliban’s militant regime and even militants with ties to Al-Qaeda. While there the best qualities of the American people trained at one of Osama bin Laden’s are no confirmed reports of his association to the forefront: courage, patriotism, terrorist camps; where, among other with either the Taliban, Al-Qaeda or their resilience, compassion, religiosity, things, he learned how to detonate bombs stated missions, he is certainly no friend of sacrifice, and selfless service. America’s and look discreet in an airport. the United States. citizens, and her leaders, have truly come In 1994, Hiram Torres was a freshman Charles Bishop, the last member of the to embody the timeless creed of “one at Yale University; however, he quit less “axis,” never made it to Afghanistan, but nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty than a month after arriving in New Haven. shared the same radical views as the and justice for all.” nineteen killers of 9/ However, the resurgence of 11. This “fool” America’s best qualities has ended his 15-year life lead to the uncovering of when he flew a some of her worst. From the Cessna into a ACLU’s attempts to protect skyscraper in an the judicial “rights” of apparent copycat avowed, anti-American mission. In a note he terrorists to the knee-jerk left behind, Bishop peace rallies held by ill- intelligently declared informed protestors, the that, “Osama bin forces of anti-American Laden is absolutely spirit are well at work. justified in the terror However, while the ACLU he has caused on 9/ and campus peace-mongers 11” and “God may have good intentions, blesses him and the an “axis” of individual others who helped conspirators has surfaced make September 11th since 9/11—and the scary happen.” While part is—they are only the Bishop claimed to beginning of a larger threat. Armed with a “disgust for American have ties to Al-Queda, authorities have In his State of the Union Address on culture” and dreams of becoming a found no such link. Bishop’s family is January 29th, President Bush referred to “revolutionary,” Torres set off for saddened by “his obvious loss of touch Iraq, Iran and North Korea as an “axis of Bangladesh. He then moved on to with reality,” but apparently, they didn’t evil,” and in keeping with his theme, I will Pakistan, and finally to Afghanistan, see it coming. describe John Walker Lindh, Hiram Torres, where his mother last heard from him in The above examples merit serious and Charles Bishop as an “axis of 1998. Torres told his mother that he was inquiry: Why didn’t anyone stop John foolishness.” “studying” in Afghanistan, but, in Walker from interrupting his high school John Walker Lindh, as I’m sure you’re December 2001, a New York Times reporter years to go to Yemen, a breeding place for well aware, is the American citizen (or can in Kabul found his personal information militant radicals? Why didn’t someone we please say “ex-American citizen”) who on different sort of list. He was not listed smack young John upside the head when moved to Afghanistan to fight for the amongst other students of Islam, but he justified the bombing of the U.S.S. Cole radical Taliban and is now on trial in rather was found on a recruiting list (and death of 17 American boys) by saying America for aiding terrorists. He supported belonging to pro-Taliban Pakistani that when the U.S. docked its ship there, it

12 · THE PRINCETON TORY FEBRUARY/MARCH 2002 UNITED STATES had committed an act of war? Why didn’t finally curfews—parents have anyone confront young Torres when they traditionally been unafraid of disciplining saw a flag from “The Iron Guard,” a fascist, their children, and rightfully so. anti-Semitic secret society flying in his Unfortunately, a new phenomenon room? Did it ever strike anyone as odd pervades American society and western that Charles Bishop’s reading list included culture in general. Some call it “post- such books as “Assassins: Assignment: modernism,” but I prefer the label of “moral Jerusalem” and “Antichrist and relativism.” Some parents no longer think Desecration: Antichrist Takes the it is their place to “impose” their beliefs on Throne?” their children, but instead would rather The fact is that these kids and their have their kids “discover” their own belief moral wanderings may not be isolated system. Isn’t that a liberating idea? At a incidents, but rather the beginning of a time when most teens just want clear skin growing American threat. It is not and a locker next to the prom queen, some surprising that none of the “axis of parents now expect their kids to build a foolishness” had a father figure in their belief system from scratch. Where, then, lives. Walker dropped his father’s name do the majority of America’s youth go for and cut off all communications with him, advice? The internet is a great place to while Bishop’s father left shortly after he start. The great expanse known as the was born. For his part, Torres hasn’t World Wide Web provides a moral spoken to his father for over a decade. The quagmire: kids can skillfully go from the absence of a male disciplinary figure helps official site of the Klu Klux Klan to one explain the lack of moral rectitude show representing Neo-Nazis with the click of a God and related discussions of moral by the “axis.” While mothers often do play mouse. absolutes. Don’t expect your local teacher the role of family disciplinarian, no phrase If not the internet, then why not public to train up a moral child, because they are has been more responsible for keeping schools? More and more parents are obligated to encourage any and every American kids awake at night than “wait ushering their kids to public schools at lifestyle your child embraces…even those until your father gets home.” However, the tender age of three or four, expecting of little Johnny, the Al-Qaeda sympathizer. regardless of the source of parental them to not only learn arithmetic, but also But the internet and public schools discipline, strong discipline is needed. right from wrong. Unfortunately, atheist are not the only place where America’s First in the form of spankings, moving next public schools, long stripped of any searching teens get bad advice. Without to soap-in-the-mouth, then grounding, and redemptive moral value, have outlawed parental guidance, children can also find moral subversion on the back of the bus, in the lobby of the bowling alley, in the back-row of the movie theatre, in the locker room, and at the local chapter of Young Communists. Take your pick. And if you’re a true moral relativist, no worries, they’re all the same anyway— opportunities for “free expression.” I don’t know exactly where the aforementioned “axis of foolishness” gained its desire for radical knowledge, nor exactly when their affinity for militant Islam began, but I can tell you one thing, it wasn’t around the dinner table. Parents are not experts in morality, but can at least provide their kids with a basic structure for deciphering right (i.e. not killing innocent people) from wrong (i.e. killing innocent people). Impressionable teens today are taught that every loony idea and every earthly impulse they’ve ever had is valid. Such ideas are ludicrous, and until parents firmly reassume their position as moral guardians, the “axis of foolishness” will continue to expand.

FEBRUARY/MARCH 2002 THE PRINCETON TORY · 13 UNITED STATES Now that the left has foolishly claimed that the American government is no better than those who would drop walls on homosexuals, destroy ancient artifacts, and stone women who show more than Bad Science, their eyes in public, it’s time for the right to make fools of themselves again. Unlike those at the Tory, some national conservatives seem entirely to ignore the need for facts, science, data, or logic in their writing. Wrong One recent example is now appearing in my home state of Ohio, possibly the only state with more mistakes in education policy than California. Ohio, of course, isn’t merely content to have some horrible public schools. (East Priorities Cleveland city schools could barely get 3% of their 12th grade class to pass a 9th grade proficiency test with questions like, “Which of these is the American flag?”) Where does The solution, according to the liberals on the Ohio Supreme Court, was to have more equitable funding, because we have creationism belong? supposedly failed to pump enough money into inner-city schools yet. The right, correctly, decided to call for higher by Brian Beck’05 standards. However, silly Ohio Republicans, working hard to beat Kansas’s image as the most backwards state in science education, have started protesting the lack of diversity in the standard biology curriculum; in plain English, they’re annoyed about a lack of teaching of creationism in the science standards. Prominent national Republicans like Phyllis Schlafly couldn’t help but attack the Ohio Board of Education. In her syndicated column on February 6, she complained in her syndicated column that in science that no theory should be censored from the classroom, saying, “The truth and accuracy of science should be determined by scientific evidence and open debate, not silencing dissent.” This part is certainly true, as is her next statement: “By definition, if a theory is scientific, it should be demonstrated by evidence and replicable experiments, and testable against alternate hypotheses.” This leads her to the misguided conclusion that all theories, no matter how harebrained, should be taught in science class as long as they haven’t been proven false. In the meantime, the “separation of church and state” groups have started jumping on the right-wingers for pushing

14 · THE PRINCETON TORY FEBRUARY/MARCH 2002 UNITED STATES a religious message in schools. As is evidence of absence. Intelligent design The question of God’s intervention typical in fierce debates between the loony theory (the newest form of creationism) into scientific inquiry is a question we left and the radical right, neither have it generally claims that while evolution should reserve for philosophers and fully correct. happens, it is not random. religion scholars, rather than high school Science is about testing falsifiable However, there is no way to test this biology classes. hypotheses. Scientists develop theories hypothesis—while it is easy to show a lack It’s also a very interesting question, that can be tested by experiment, and more of an obvious pattern in a sequence, the one that the faculty of Princeton possibly importantly can be proved false through randomness or lack thereof of evolution is should look into—or if they already have, science. This is why the question of not a testable hypothesis. For example, should look into teaching a class on the whether or not God exists is not scientific— take the common example of pi—take a subject. there is no physical way to prove or string in the middle of it, and it will Most importantly, it should be disprove the existence of God, and no data probably look very random. In a certain removed from the political sphere— to look at. sense, it is random—but there is a pattern because the only thing worse than For those who would use the lack of to the digits, as we know from the fact that misunderstanding of science is when that evidence to disprove God’s existence, we can calculate them with a repeating misunderstanding becomes official state remember that absence of evidence is not formula. policy. Problems on the Peninsula by Jameson R. Johnson GS The American and European news Qeida) against the present Gulf leadership. 1980s, have resulted in a population media has created a storm over the Taking care of these issues will help to explosion. apparent upheaval in the Arabian reduce the attraction of these extremist At present, the Gulf has the highest Peninsula. The media would have us groups. percentage of its population under the age believe that the present war and the of 25, per capita, in the world. Saudi Arabia ongoing presence of U.S. troops in Saudi has 75% of its population under the age Arabia are the origins of this new unrest, of thirty and that population is only perhaps even the reason behind the getting larger. While this may not seem September 11th attack. Like with many It is quite clear like a large problem, one must consider the key issues facing the world today, the news impact of the current job/welfare program media only operates with half of the in most Gulf countries. The method these information, and usually less than half of to me that this Kings and Princes have used to maintain the truth. order is to promise universal employment, I spent a good deal of time in the entire region is benefits, and subsidies for all citizens Persian Gulf in the past year. I toured the based on oil revenues. Typically, these entire region, interviewing U.S. State headed for even jobs are bureaucratic and have no real Department and military personnel. I also performance requirements associated with spoke with many outside observers. It more unrest, them. Citizens are pleased because they became quite clear to me that this region is have high-paying jobs with benefits, and headed for even more unrest, trouble and trouble and up- little or no real work. It has created a upheaval. It is not coming from another bureaucratic empire and turned the Arab Iraqi invasion or from Iran closing off the population into a welfare workforce that Gulf, not even from social conflicts with heaval. is ineffectual and unskilled. Islam, but from problems within. These leaders have staked their future There are many areas of future conflict on their ability to keep the native for all the Gulf States should they not take First is the problem of population population at near 100% employment with steps to alleviate them. First is a explosion and future unemployment. zero-substance jobs. A perfect example is population explosion that could foster a Modern health care and improvements in the 93% state employment in Kuwait. As massive unemployment problem; diet have created a double-edged sword we begin this new century, the largest secondly, the depletion of oil reserves; and for the Gulf States. There has been an portion of the population is still in school. thirdly, a fresh water crisis. increase in the life expectancy of most of Soon, they are going hit the job market Their importance seems diminished at the population, and a reduced infant and demand jobs equal to those of their a time of war. However, when combined, mortality rate. These, combined with fathers and grandfathers. these three problems actually fuel the government and religious programs Unfortunately, the universities have religious radicals’ campaigns (like Al encouraging large families lasting into the not moved to accommodate the future glut

FEBRUARY/MARCH 2002 THE PRINCETON TORY · 15 INTERNATIONAL

discoveries in Africa, Central Asia overwhelm the already stressed and the ocean, and the beginning desalination capabilities. of a move away from gluttonous And worst still, most of the water is oil consumption in the West being wasted. Saudi Arabia, the United means the prospects for a Arab Emirates, and Kuwait are draining continued boom to the Gulf their aquifers, importing large amounts of economies has a poor forecast. water or desalinating water to pour on palm A backlash to oil in some trees lining the highways and wash cars. progressive economies has Most Gulf States don’t even charge their begun. The restrictions of the citizens for water use; it is free! Kyoto Treaty are evidence of that Many have said that the next war fact. Auto companies have started won’t be fought over oil, but over water. to put electric cars into production. The sides are already being drawn for that Alternative energy sources are war. The Turks are already using dams to being explored and used limit water reaching Iraq and Syria. Now throughout the world. Larger they are going to sell water by the tanker economies have begun towards load to the highest bidder. They’ve already move to natural gas and made lucrative deals with Jordan and Israel hydroelectric power to fuel their to supplement these nations’ existing water industrial production. While supplies. these moves don’t signal the end of the oil heyday, they do signal the autumn of the oil-based economies. Much sooner These countries know the end is coming; they just don’t know than the Arab what to do about it. The Saudi of citizens. Instead of pushing petroleum Arabian Oil Minister Ali Na’imi appeared technology or engineering, many still focus on BBC in April 2000 and admitted that nations of the on Islamic Studies, which causes other that present spike in oil prices was the last problems with radicalism. In addition, hurrah of the dying market. The Kuwaitis Gulf run out of many Arab students in the United States and Saudis still have oil, but at the present and England only study English. This will production levels, they could run out as oil, they will run not bring new business leaders to the early as 2025 according to some analysts. forefront. Given those figures, UAE, Qatar, Bahrain, out of all natural Each Gulf state has begun a program and Oman will all run out much earlier. to encourage future employment training Unless the Gulf nations can come up with sources of water. of its citizenry. The States hail the entrance some other industry to put the population of native Arab artisans, engineers, into the workforce, they face the salesmen, and local businessmen and the bankruptcy of their economies and the exit of expatriate (non-Arab) workers. The disintegration of their infrastructure as the result is some natives do go into jobs TCNs abandon a sinking ship. Israel and Syria cannot agree over the formerly held by third country nationals Lastly, there is an absolute crisis sovereignty of the Golan Heights for many (TCNs). More often it is a strong-arm over water. Prior to the Arab nations of reasons. One major reason is the spring maneuver by the governments to force the Gulf running out of oil, they will have network that feeds the Jordan River. Israel Western companies to hire Arab run out of all natural sources of water and currently has all of that fresh water piped “engineers” and “managers” who typically will be completely dependent upon outside back into Israel. Thus, returning the Golan demand high salaries but perform few nations for their water needs. Heights would greatly reduce the fresh tasks. They are the private sector Presently, Gulf nations have no water water supply for Israel. Israel uses that equivalent to their bureaucrat countrymen. policy. They import large portions of their water for vast irrigation projects in the Secondly, there is the coming oil drinking water already, and what aquifers valley below the Golan. crisis. The mention of an oil crisis with a they do have they are depleting far faster Iran talks of deals with Kuwait, barrel of oil still near the $30 range seems than can naturally be replenished. At this Bahrain, and Qatar to sell them water via a ridiculous. Yet, a crisis is coming for the point, many are using desalination plants pipeline from their mountainous region. It Gulf – not the world – over oil. The powered by natural gas. While that may would be not only a moneymaker for the combination of dwindling oil reserves help in the short term, the present demands Iranians once these three nations are within the Gulf, an increase of oil of water in most Gulf States threaten to dependent upon Iranian water supplies,

16 · THE PRINCETON TORY FEBRUARY/MARCH 2002 INTERNATIONAL but Iran will have broken the power of the The Persian Gulf is again the center of economically and politically. This type of Gulf Cooperation Council. Iran could a crisis. The present war has many of its upheaval is exactly what the religious threaten to cut off the water supply to its roots in the Arabian Peninsula. The next radicals need to gain a foothold for their dry customers if its leaders did not like a phase of this war may indeed be back on causes. policy decision. the Peninsula. It is not the presence of American At this point, Kuwait and Saudi Arabia However, in the future, instead of troops in Saudi Arabia that will bring about have begun pumping some recycled water invading armies or outside political this upheaval. It will be a failure to act by into their aquifers. While it helps, they also upheaval, the unrest may come from what the indigenous leaders and Kings rather need to dump most of their desalinated is going on right now in these Gulf than U.S. policy. The consequences of water back in just to save them. Further, countries. If these states do not take steps their failure include a broken economy they need to increase efforts to trap and to better educate and move their dependent on a dwindling product, with use wastewater created through population into the workforce, develop demand and price falling, a workforce of carelessness. Few people know that other means of national income, and reform managers unable to lead, and even the fall Kuwait City and Riyadh sit on their water-usage practices, they face of the monarchies in some of the more underground lakes of unusable catastrophic consequences both conservative nations. wastewater lost from poor plumbing, lawn care, street cleaning, and palm watering. Unless the Gulf States break their foolish uses of water, begin to use a The Princeton Tory accepts letters to the editor. recycling process for their waste, and Please direct correspondence to: attempt to save the aquifers, they will be completely dependent upon the goodwill P.O. Box 1499, Princeton, NJ 08540; of their non-Arab neighbors and the West for their water supplies. This crisis E-mail: [email protected] or threatens to peak just about the same time [email protected] the oil reserves run out, leaving them without the oil revenues to buy water.

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FEBRUARY/MARCH 2002 THE PRINCETON TORY · 17 THE LAST WORD The Vagina Monologues A Lesson in How Not to ‘Spread’ the Word

Recent advertisements for The silencing of the feminine voice,” if that is Vagina Monologues posted around really what The Vagina Monologues campus contained several vulgar represents. phrases. Members of the Tory But, for the way in which they criticized these ads in an editorial portrayed the show, the ads did make it in the Prince and put up signs of seem like pornography. The show may not our own to make people take a be not pornographic (although that is open second look at the indecency of the for debate), but the ads only used the bright pink Monologues’ ads. A show’s most graphic material to promote scathing response was printed in the performance. the Prince the following day. Consider, Mr. Wachtell, your So, we did it. Yes, a few Tory emotions had you walked down Prospect members did attend a showing of with your mother in the days leading up to The Vagina Monologues. Our the performance. How would you feel? response? Well, we’ll get to that in We would be disgusted. But maybe a minute. But first, now that all of Wachtell and his mother feel comfortable the responses to our campaign are talking about each other’s…well, you get in, we’ve got a few more things to the picture. say. The language in the show is raunchy, Where to start? Well, we should but as art aficionados, we understand its probably begin with the initial role in relaying the message of the show response to our ad campaign from itself, however misguided its role may be. a certain Mr. Dan Wachtell. We think this language belongs within the According to Dan, we represent the show’s arena, and not posted around future of so-called bigotry and campus for all to see. And it is not, as Mr. misogyny in the Republican Party. Wachtell seems to think, because we have That’s good Dan. At least you paid lived sheltered lives and never heard the attention to the article and made words on the ads before. some legitimate criticisms… You In fact, we have heard those words see, Dan watches MTV and uses it before. We’ve also heard many curse to formulate his standards as to words before, but would it be justifiable to what is acceptable for public post signs around campus with the f-word consumption. We do not believe on them? We think not. that our world has changed so Some people think that we dramatically that different standards contradicted our intended message by of common decency now exist. putting up vulgar signs of our own. Sadly, Something that was indecent the signs were a necessary part of our yesterday is not suddenly less so, message. We had to show something despite MTV’s attempts to vulgar in order to make people realize the convince people like Dan otherwise. indecencies of the Monologues’ ads. Now, let’s clear something up Would this matter have grown as big as it while we’re on the subject. The has become if we had merely written a piece editorial published in the Prince in the Prince? Probably not. The signs criticized the indecency of the were important because they made people advertisements of the show, but not step back. They are just as disgusting as the show itself. The proceeds of those posted by the Monologues. the show go to help victims of Our purpose was to inspire people to sexual violence, definitely a most consider the issue, whether it is out of worthy cause. And we would never support, or out of disdain. We wanted to call for, as one critic put it, “the get the campus to think about what have

18 · THE PRINCETON TORY FEBRUARY/MARCH 2002 THE LAST WORD become of our moral standards and the us as representatives of bigotry in the way. The show should have enough indecency that currently exists all over our world. credibility and renown to attract people to campus. The number of responses that They are flatly wrong in their come without the use of vulgar words on we’ve received, positive and negative, assumptions. For our part, we think that bright pink signs. serve as evidence that we’ve accomplished Wachtell’s ideas are what is wrong with If all of the ads had been like the chalk our goal. the world today. marks on campus walks, we never would Having seen the show, we would We cannot continue to accept the have written what we did. But the acknowledge a few things that the show indecency and vulgarities that have advertisers crossed the line with their does well, but we do have some criticisms. eroded the moral standards in this country, disrespectful indecency, and we had the Our newfound friend Peter Wicks at the even though people like Wachtell would guts to call them on it. Maybe moral has already expressed them have us do so. relativists like Wachtell should take a quite well. Now, we are sorry that some Let the Vagina Monologues be second to re-examine their values...if they people, like Dan Wachtell, like to think of shown, but advertise it in a wholesome have any.

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