From the Publisher THE PRINCETON The Underside of Old Nassau TORY Princeton’s presidents April 2007 have always mounted the Chapel’s Volume XXIV - Issue IV pulpit to let off steam. Princeton’s early leaders started a tradition Publisher Matthew Schmitz ’08 of denouncing whatever plagued
Editor in Chief Senior Managing campus, with the devil and dandy- Sherif Girgis ’08 Editor ism receiving the heaviest censure. Jordan Reimer ’08 During the Opening Exercises for Production Manager Financial Manager the freshman Class of 2008, Pres- Rick Morgan ’09 Matt Martin ’08 ident Shirley Tilghman detected Managing Editors Production Team a different threat to student well- Emily Peña’09 Brendan Lyons ’09 being. Tilghman feared that the Leon Furchtgott ’09 Julius Dimas ’09 Princeton-based novel The Rule Publisher Emeritus Editor-in-Chief of Four would prompt freshmen Juliann Vikse ’08 Emeritus Christian Sahner’07 prompt freshmen to search for the campus ‘steam tunnel’ system, and so she told the newly-arrived class, Staff Writers “You can just forget about looking for those steam tunnels -- they don’t exist!” This statement, it should be noted, was false. But during that Mike Alonso ’07 Johnny Love ’09 Whitney Green ’07 Andrew Malcolm ’09 tightly-scheduled orientation week, few of us had time or inclination Adam Litterman ’07 Wyatt Yankus ’09 to determine whether there was a labyrinth lying beneath our feet or a Matt MacDonald ’07 Jose Alicea ’10 Arielle Gorin ’08 Jonathan Extein ’10 president lying to our faces. After all, there were girls and goals to chase; Brian Extein ’08 Brandon McGinley ’10 we were barely nineteen. David Colquitt ’09 Wes Morgan ’10 Leon Furchtgott ’09 The lie that should have startled us then has since become just another unremarkable instance of administration double-speak. It is Board of Trustees hard to see what prompted that first fib, but after three years it is ap- Peter Heinecke ’87 Brian Tvenstrup ’95 parent that the University often has an interest in hiding its activities David Daniels ’89 Wickham Schmidt ’99 from students and alumni. In 2006 the Tory exposed the underbelly Anna Bray Duff ’92 Timothy Webster ’99 of campus orthodoxies and administration agendas with reports on the Peter Hegseth ’02 University’s destruction of human embryos, covert funding of anti-re-
The Princeton Tory is a journal of conservative and ligious programming, and bizarrely elitist affirmative-action initiative. moderate political thought written, edited and produced This year we will continue to dig up dirt and, perhaps, produce a few by Princeton University students and delivered free of charge to all Princeton students and faculty. The Princeton gems in our continuing mission of showing our readers the underside of Tory is a publication of The Princeton Tory, Inc. Opinions Old Nassau. expressed herein are those of the authors and not neces- sarily those of the editors, trustees, Princeton University, I will always look back with particular relish on one gritty, sub- or the Princeton Tory, Inc. terranean trip through the tunnels that started in the Junior Slums and The Princeton Tory accepts letters to the editor. Direct correspondence to: P.O. Box 1499, Princeton, NJ ended, of all places, in the boiler room of Icahn Laboratory. It is my 08542; or by e-mail: [email protected]. Advertise- wish that our readers will recall this year’s Tory articles with similar ment rates for The Princeton Tory can be found on the magazine’s website at www.princetontory.com. Donations satisfaction and no less surprise. Inside these pages lie forbidden lines to The Princeton Tory are fully tax-deductible. Please mail of thought and hidden facts ready for your exploration. I hope you will donations to: P.O. Box 1499, Princeton, NJ 08542. The Princeton Tory is a member of the Collegiate take the risk of going underground. Your professors, parents and Presi- Network. The Princeton Tory gives special thanks to dent have warned you of the dangers. I’ll promise the thrill of digging the Intercollegiate Studies Institute, Princeton Alumni Viewpoints, and The Bachman Foundation. into the issues and coming out into the light of a better—and perhaps The Princeton Tory, Inc. is a non-profit corporation most surprisingly—more conservative understanding. registered in New Jersey. No part of this publication should be construed to promote any pending legislation or to support any candidate for office. No part of this Sincerely, publication may be reproduced without express written consent of the Publisher. Matthew Schmitz ’08 Copyright © 2005, The Princeton Tory, Inc.
· The Princeton Tory April 2007 THE PRINCETON TORY April 2007 www.princetontory.com
In this Issue: Points and Punts 4 The Left fumbles again Campus 6 Freshman Disorientation: It’s time to reform the Writing Program 8 Taking Tiger Mountain
Princeton professors face censorship from China World 10 Minority Right The electoral future of the Republican party 13 An Army for the Long War Too little, too late 17 Times Select[ive] Brian Brown does the newspaper of record The Last Word 18 Slandering the Grand, Blaming the Shameless It’s time for the administration to embrace the clubs
April 2007 The Princeton Tory · FROM THE EDITORS
P oin ts & Punts he ory ackles the ews T T T N NYU’s chaplaincy, Latif has a reputa- racy.” This commendable rhetoric is Christians at Princeton enjoy tion for defending Muslim interests in line with American public opin- the attention of thirteen University- and working closely with Jewish lead- ion and Bush’s foreign policy. If only recognized chaplains, but apparently ers. His record was marred, though, these sentiments were truly reflective for Jewish students, even two is too by an incident where he organized of Obama’s convictions. The pro-Pal- many. President Tilghman fumbled opposition to a roundtable discussion estinian website Electronic Intifada on religious freedom last month by and display of the Danish cartoons. relates that the senator used to attend barring Chabad, a Jewish ministry, Latif condemned the event in a let- many Palestinian and Arab-American from gaining official status as a cam- ter sent to Muslim political groups: community events in Chicago includ- pus chaplaincy. Rabbi Eitan Webb “…these cartoons are inherently racist ing a May 1998 community fundrais- was denied recognition despite his and Islamophobic and offer no contri- er at which Edward Said was the key- active and dynamic representation of bution whatsoever to the discussion. note speaker. In 2004 he apologized a distinctive brand of Judaism. Til- Their only purpose is to insult Islam for his pro-Israeli sentiments, stating ghman justified her decision by cit- and incite hatred against Muslims. I “I’m sorry I haven’t said more about ing a University priority of running doubt that NYU would ever want to Palestine right now, but we are in a all Jewish activities out of the CJL. be associated with anti-Semitic carica- tough primary race. I’m hoping when The Score: Christianity 13, Judaism 1, tures mocking Jews and Judaism or rac- things calm down I can be more up religious freedom, 0. ist caricatures mocking black people.” front.” Referring to Chicago Tribune When one sees a plastic In light of his high-profile objection columns critical of Israeli and US blonde dressed in a slip stranded on to the Mohammed cartoons, it is hard policy, he encouraged their author: the Frist Lawn, it’s usually just anoth- to imagine what appeals to Latif in a “Keep up the good work!” While er casualty of the notorious Cottage book that claims that Christ fathered the US can arguably use a politician lingerie night. This time, though, a child and the Catholic Church is a who brings a new perspective to the the busty babe (who was bound to deeply violent patriarchal conspiracy. Middle East peace process, we defi- a chair) was actually a blow-up doll. One possible explanation is that Latif, nitely don’t need another pandering The doll was placed by Princeton Pro- like so many others, overlooked Dan politician who doesn’t have the au- Choice Vox in order to protest the so Brown’s anti-Christian, anti-Catholic dacity to state what he truly believes. called “gag rule” that prevents Ameri- screed for the sake of his shimmering, On February 26, 2007, the ca from performing abortions abroad. lyrical prose. The probability that Mr. New York Observer published an The campy bindings and slip were Latif is simply a connoisseur of the “undercover” article on the Princeton no doubt meant to be sexually sug- finest literature is enhanced by his eating club scene, sardonically pro- gestive, suggesting in turn that pro- selection of Mitch Albom’s The Five claiming, “They’re keepin’ it classy abortion Princetonians are clinging People You Meet in Heaven as anoth- over at the Ivy League’s New Jersey to their view of women as politically er favorite. Maybe it’s time to buy my outpost.” The Observer, one may re- and sexually desperate. Vox’s victim- chaplain a copy of The Satanic Verses? call, was recently purchased this sum- ized vixens, indeed. Never underestimate the mer by Jared Kushner, a Harvard grad Khalid Latif loves The Da power of the almighty campaign featured in Daniel Golden’s The Price Vinci Code. The anti-Christian novel contribution. On March 2, Barack of Admission: How America’s Ruling is currently listed under the “Favorite Obama, at a speech to the Ameri- Class Buys Its Way into Elite Colleges Books” section on the Facebook.com can Israel Public Affairs Commitee (2005), for being an “unusual choice” profile of Princeton’s Muslim chap- (AIPAC) in Chicago argued that for Harvard to offer admission, be- lain. A moderate with experience at Israel is “our strongest ally in the re cause of a mediocre academic record. gion and its only established democ · The Princeton Tory April 2007 POINTS & PUNTS
Of course his father’s $2.5 million do- a recommendation for any of the high The Tory notes with interest nation to the school didn’t hurt. One school students who asked him. One that two of this year’s Young Alumni may also recall Mr. Kushner’s very student, a female seeking early admis- Trustee candidates have tangled be- classy announcement of his recent ac- sion to study at Princeton’s Physics fore. While Lenahan tired administra- quisition, “I own the New York Ob- Department, contacted tors and students alike with pages of server,” delivered in a tone so smug statistical analysis, Sullivan, the USG and self-confident even those work- Academics Chair, actually praised ing on Wall Street would be jealous and defended Malkiel’s policy, with of. A Harvard alum criticizing Princ- the result being that while one alien- eton? US & World Report inferiority ated administrators and the other of- complex, anyone? fended students, neither managed to And they say democracies do both. Student government experi- don’t go to war with each other. On ence would be an asset for any trustee, March 1, 170 Swiss Army troops but the decision to stake out strident crossed the border into Liechten- positions on controversial issues will stein, effectively ending its 500-year prove a liability. Trustee candidates policy of neutrality. Decades of hopes are not allowed to campaign precisely for a conflict-free Europe based the so they won’t have to fear the percep- prevalence of the European Union tion of ‘flip-flopping’ once elected. were dashed with this single invasion. Lenahan and Sullivan: contentious kit- The battle scars these two acquired in Hopefully, Switzerland doesn’t invade ties. the grade deflation fight might help its neighbor France next, inviting the Holt’s office repeatedly over several them as trustess but their personal in- inevitable French surrender and the weeks this fall, requesting that he vestment in the issues hardly will. invocation of NATO obligations. US send a recommendation to Princ- Who would Skipper choose? forces are stretched thin as it is… eton. After the applicant received Nancy Malkiel’s pet pooch is watch- Former Princeton professor, no response to numerous letters ing the Young Alumni Trustee with and current Princeton congressman, and emails, she was informed that a great deal of interest and no small Rush Holt, is a primary sponsor for Holt wouldn’t write a recommenda- amount of ambivalence. Of the the Ensuring College Access for All tion for her because Congressman three candidates, one has relentlessly Americans Act (H.R. 114). Strange Mark Foley’s case had macontact attacked his master’s signature pro- then, that he has declined to help with pages a liability. Apparently gram, and another has, perhaps more one high-school senior gain access one man’s readiness to harm can ex- gallingly, tried to replace him in her to Princeton. Holt gave a speech to cuse another’s unwillingness to help. affection. Oh to be a lapdog. Congressional pages this spring and Here’s to the honorable Rush Holt. In the pages of the Daily during his remarks, promised to write Princetonian Lisa Wynn of the Office of Population Research and Professor Lee Silver ask why the Anscombe so- R.I.P. ciety has ‘chastened’ them. Chastized by the chaste? The Tory abstains from B.I.G. comment. Ann Coulter punchlines? we’ll pass... Ten years this March.
Christopher George -- Compiled by the Editors Latore Wallace 1972 - 1997
April 2007 The Princeton Tory · CAMPUS Freshman Disorientation Writing Seminars are a lesson in bad policy
Leon Furchtgott ’09 some one rarely taught by faculty. the writing seminars wish to help Tilghman’s speech isn’t just an students bridge the gap between he Princeton Freshman empty boast, however; Princeton’s high-school writing--typified by Writing Seminar, the only pride in having real professors the five-paragraph essay--and a course required of all teaching substantive courses is well more personal and flexible aca- TPrinceton students, holds noble deserved. But the Writing Program demic style, they regularly resort aspirations—namely, to teach seems to be the exception. As Pro- to the same high-school-formulaic the art (and science) of academic fessor John Fleming once observed, elements: thesis, motive, complica- writing to incoming freshmen. its faculty, consisting largely of tion, and stitching, among others. But unlike such peer institutions recent Ph.D.s unaffiliated with Centralized, required courses as Columbia or the University any department, is “basically taught mainly by junior lectur- of Chicago, whose core curricula guaranteed second-class citizen- contain highly-regarded courses ship.” This, for one of the largest that are tailored to advance stu- academic programs on campus. dents’ knowledge of the liberal Writing seminar topics are arts, a Princeton’s writing seminar problematic as well. While earlier is too often little more than an generations of Princeton students exercise in academic hazing—a would learn to write while studying unfocused, hardly inspiring, usu- Shakespeare or Greek mythology, ally regrettable, and often useless today’s freshmen are offered such requirement to be fulfilled before academically suspect course options starting one’s academic career in as “The Archeology of Sex and The Princeton Writing Program at 91 earnest. But is it really so useless? Gender” or “Global Pop Music.” Prospect To many, the writing seminars The primary goal of the writing ers, the writing seminars thus do seem to taint the overall Princeton seminars is to turn students away not fit the Princeton ideal. But intellectual experience. Addressing from superficial writing consist- these objections do not make a the incoming Class of 2010 dur- ing of summary and exposition, decisive case against the program. ing the 2006 Opening Exercises, and push them towards scholarly Ultimately, it is necessary for President Shirley Tilghman intro- work rigorously exploring interest- the Princeton Writing Program duced Princeton as a university ing questions. This laudable goal, to exist and function in the best where one could write poetry with however, is in tension if not contra- possible way. Princeton faced a Paul Muldoon or cure malaria diction with the manner in which writing crisis in the 1990s, to the with Manuel Llinás. “Pursue your the seminars are taught. Asking extent the faculty voted unani- passions, venture where you have interesting academic questions mously to go to a system of writ- never ventured before, pace your- requires at least some knowledge ing seminars in 2000. American self, serve others, and have lots of of the subject at hand, which pre- secondary education generally fun,” she urged students. Tilghman supposes some degree of immer- does not prepare students for col- failed to mention that the grandi- sion in the discipline. But writing lege-level writing. The writing ose academic career she was offer- seminars spend more class time seminars are an attempt to remedy ing them would begin, not with a working on writing skills than the problem. Unlike chemistry glamorous course taught by a fa- absorbing significant academic or history, basic writing can and mous professor, but with a burden- content. In addition, although ought to be taught to all students. · The Princeton Tory April 2007 CAMPUS
The Princeton Writing Pro- to return to them. The Princeton doesn’t fit a thesis, it is a problem gram, despite all its unsavory Writing Program is considered that a significant minority of stu- aspects, does manage to help one of the best in the country, dents take away this impression.” students with their writing, an and in spite of the “negative buzz,” This particular unintended effect area where previous programs it can be effective in improving may reflect the seminars’ emphasis have failed. According to Kerry Walk, the director of the Writing Earlier generations of Princeton students would learn to Program, around 80% of students write while studying Shakespeare or Greek mythology. achieve the program’s writing Today’s freshmen are offered such academically suspect goals . In an interview she added course options as “The Archaeology of Sex and Gender” or that “students may be surprised “Global Pop Music.” to learn that only 4% of freshmen rate the overall quality of their Writing Seminar as ‘very poor’ or the writing of some students. on building a strong thesis--which ‘poor’ (1 or 2 on a 5-point scale), The program, and its seminars, may lead some students to think whereas the vast majority—usu- would be vastly improved by a clear that opposing arguments are a ally around 83%—rate it as ‘good’ articulation of scope and goals. sign of poor writing. But this, or ‘excellent’ (4 or 5 on a 5-point Understanding the “elements of like the program’s other weak- scale).” The writing seminars as a the academic essay”—what Kerry nesses, is not beyond remedy. whole have a rating of 4.2, which Walk views as the language of writ- Reluctantly, then, we must is the average rating of all Princ- ing—instead of developing a recipe accept the writing program as a eton courses. This is an impres- for writing essays, is perhaps the necessary part of the Princeton sive statistic for a required course. most important goal of the semi- education. Without a question The relative success of the writ- nars. But it is also, unfortunately, most find the seminars inconve- ing seminars can be partially attrib- lost on many students who leave nient, not only for their exces- uted, undoubtedly, to the Writing the seminars faithful to formulae. sive papers and sometimes risible Program’s emphasis on small classes Perhaps the most salient nega- topics, but because of their long- and individual attention. This tive effect of this misplaced empha- standing reminder to us that even constitutes a marked improve- sis has been to shift focus from filling college students at elite universities ment on the system of W courses, out an argument to merely furnish- lack basic academic writing skills. which was in ing requi- Weathering C’s on papers or hav- place in the The Princeton Writing Program, de- site essay ing to circle topic sentences may be 1980s and spite all its unsavory aspects, does man- elements. painfully humiliating for any self- 1990s. The age to help students with their writing. Religion confident freshman, but to some W courses professor extent the drastic and varyingly were taught in a lecture-precept Martha Himmelfarb has, for in- effective measures of the Princ- format, with famous professors stance, noted a significant improve- eton Writing Program are neces- lecturing and graduate students ment in the quality and clarity of sary evils. What has becom clear leading precepts. But the emphasis students’ papers since the establish- is that Princeton’s Writing Pro- in W courses had been on cover- ment of the writing seminars. But gram, like that freshman, still has ing a topic rather than teaching she also sees “a significant number much room for improvement. writing, and they had no consis- of papers that argue for a thesis by tent goals or standards. Students providing three or four examples Leon Furchtgott and their writing suffered under in support of it while ignoring all is a sophomore this system, and although the W evidence to the contrary.” For her from Bethesda, MD. He is a courses had many advantages over the problem is contained but sig- Physics ma- the writing seminars—primarily, nificant: “While I doubt that any jor active with full-time professors and substan- teacher of a writing seminar tells Chabad. tive material—it would be absurd students to ignore evidence that
April 2007 The Princeton Tory · CAMPUS Taking Tiger Mountain How Princeton’s program in China has bought access at the price of academic freedom.
Matthew Schmitz’08 is widely viewed as retribution for his vocal Men’s Christian Association. Princeton criticism of the communist regime. Instead in Peking operated according to a progres- ach spring students welcome of pressing Chinese officials on the decision, sive ethic where religious, educational and the thaw of ice-encrusted Tilghman informed Link that she would be scholarly aims were naturally advanced in Old Nassau. This year the parallel. In an era when morning Emelting snow was a reminder of the Chapel attendance was mandatory less visible yet more drastic warm- for all students, Princeton planted its ing in relations between Princeton foot abroad by establishing a religious and China, America’s one-time mission with educational goals. After Cold War adversary. Over the last the decisive victory of Communist twenty years the University and forces in 1949, Princeton-in-Peking the communist state have forged was forced to move its operations to increasingly close bonds exemplified Taiwan and other Asian countries. To by Princeton in Beijing, or PiB, the reflect the change in focus, the pro- University’s flagship language-im- gram was renamed Princeton in Asia. mersion program. PiB sends scores The University would not re- of students to the Chinese capital to establish a beachhead in mainland learn its language and culture. But China until the founding of Princ- as foreign officials have censored eton in Beijing. Perhaps nothing course materials and barred entry speaks more to the breakdown of for Princeton professors, the Chinese old barriers than the sight of the policy of punishing its academic crit- crumbling stone of the Great Wall, or ics has hit home. Princetonians have “Changcheng,” peppered with preppy discovered that in a land of knock-off Ivy-leaguers intent on snapping polos and pirated DVDs, the price of Facebook photos. For many of these free speech can be surprisingly high. student-tourists, the desire to learn In the fall of 2004, President the language is based on a steadfast Tilghman visited China as part of a belief that the center of gravity in the tour of Asia. The visit was intended global economy is shifting to China. to demonstrate that the once-brittle re- discussing the matter only with the Ameri- In a relationship that has long been lationship had become a fluid, friendly can ambassador. Some believed Tilghman complicated by communism and colonial- exchange. Her visit, however, met with had passed on a one-time opportunity ism, the latest chapter of Princeton - China sharp criticism from some on Princeton’s to speak directly to the Chinese officials relations is one of the most troubled. Accord- East Asian Studies faculty, who faulted her that could reinstate Link’s right to entry. ing to Professor Link, Chinese-American for not addressing China’s efforts to control Princeton and China shared strong scholars often watch their words and work professors’ speech. Professor Perry Link, ties long before names like Mao and carefully, fearing retributions against rela- the co-director of Princeton in Beijing, Malkiel appeared on the scene. In 1905 tives still living in China. Dr. Li Shaomin, criticized Tilghman for not discussing with the Philadelphian Society, an exclusive a Hong Kong-based professor who received Chinese officials their 1996 decision to religious fraternity dedicated to personal a Ph.D. in sociology from Princeton, was permanently bar him from entering the holiness, founded Princeton-in-Peking accused of being a spy and detained by the country. Link’s exclusion from the country at the request of the International Young Chinese government. Dr. Shaomin was able
· The Princeton Tory April 2007 CAMPUS to regain his position only by “lying low,” who have hesitated to stand up to China, with Paula Chow, the head of the Inter- that is, by avoiding criticisms of the regime. can sometimes seem even less willing to national Center, to urge her to take down According to a Princeton Alumni battle student groups that seek to restrict the exhibit. Chow immediately acquiesced Weekly article, when Link asked officials campus speech. In one startling episode this to their demands by the removing the dis- why he had been barred from the country, fall, for example, administrators at Colum- play altogether. One wonders which was they said, “You know the answer.” Link’s bia University failed to provide sufficient worsze, the display’s initial one-sidedness colleague, Professor C.P. Chou, is still al- or the rash decision to squelch it altogether. lowed in the country despite using texts The Tibet display incident crystallized that displeased officials at Beijing Normal the problems of free and fair speech, the University, Princeton’s partner for the lan- University seemed to act with little delib- guage program. Chou’s program was sharply eration in the exhibits’ erection or removal. attacked by one Chinese national. The First, Princeton’s perceived deference to the man, who had taught for PiB, published an Chinese government apparently led to an attack article about the program called “The uncritical acceptance of propaganda photos. Infiltration of American Ideology Through It is a sad possibility that a disregard for free Language, Through the Material of Teach- speech acquired in China was applied at ing Chinese as a Foreign Language” that home. Had the International Center acted suggested the Princeton program taught with a vigorous regard for free speech, it anti-government lessons. The government would have supplemented the display with reacted by banning much of PiB’s course additional pictures rather than dismantle it material, and Chou was forced to write a altogether. Instead, the University moved to new, non-critical textbook that he entitled, appease a group that objected to their speech, with perhaps a touch of irony, “All Things just as they have did in response to Chinese Considered.” Dr. Link: burnt visas give you so much more complaints. Censorship, it seems, can come Even American-based scholars can security to prevent students from rushing from the top down or the bottum up. face career-ending retribution for writing the stage and violently disrupting a speech By declining to advocate for faculty critically of the Chinese government. In given by a representative of the immigra- members overseas, administrators have en- any field where firsthand observation is tion-enforcement group The Minutemen. abled an unsettling curtailment of academic important, the lines distinguishing research Concerns that Princeton has grown freedom at home. As the balance tips toward field, office and classroom necessarily too close to the Chinese regime boiled tighter restrictions on what we and our pro- blur. By consenting to speech restrictions over in another campus incident in the fessors can read and say, the Orange Bubble abroad Princeton has gained access toa spring of 2006. The crisis emerged when has started to appear hardly as impenetrable global power, but only by remaining the International Center erected a photo- as one might like. Torn texts, invalid visas, silent before the sight of torn texts, in- graph display in Frist Campus Center to and dismantled displays are the artifacts timidated faculty, and derailed careers. commemorate the 40th anniversary of the of Princeton’s indifference. Supporters of Such trans-Pacific injustices could not establishment of the Tibet Autonomous academic freedom will find it troubling that seem further removed from the quietude Region. The display sparked outrage some lessons learned by innocents abroad of Old Nassau. However, for professors among faculty and staff who objected to may end up employed back home. whose research is dependent on the goodwill its favorable portrayal of the Chinese pres- of a foreign government, success means ence in Tibet. They pointed out that it remembering that anything published failed to mention the human-rights abuses Matthew Schmitz is a Junior from will come under as much scrutiny if it that have stained China’s Tibetan policy. O’Neill, NE. He was penned on the B-floor or in Beijing. The International Center obtained is the Publisher Though the imperative to bring stu- the photographs from the Asian Cultural of the Princeton dents abroad must be weighed against Club of Edison, NJ, reported the Daily Tory and a mem- foreign censorship, the increasing speech Princetonian. Shawa asserted that, “the ber of Tower Club. restrictions on American campuses should Center is using [University] resources in give us all pause, especially since the two are a propaganda campaign for the Chinese not unrelated. University administrators government.” Professor Link also met
April 2007 The Princeton Tory · NATION & WORLD Minority Right The Electoral Future of the GOP
Brandon F. McGinley ’10 vaulted into power, ousting moderate to conservative Republicans who, whether through ties to George n November 7, 2006, the American public Bush, Jack Abramoff, or the GOP in general, had went to the polls and sent a significant mes- become unsavory to their constituents. sage to this nation’s political establishment. Indiana alone elected three Democrats–Baron OVoters ousted thirty Republican representatives and Hill, John Ellsworth, and Joe Donnelly–who could six Republican senators in an apparent wave of lib- easily have passed for GOP standard-bearers in an- eral, anti-GOP sentiment. But in fact only the latter other time and place. As for the Senate, a pro-gun descriptor is accurate. economic populist who favors a balanced budget, The 2006 elections were assuredly a reaction Jon Tester, was elected in Montana and a pro-life, against both the frustrating ineffectiveness of the pro-gun economic moderate, Bob Casey, Jr., won in Bush administration’s policy in Iraq and the Repub- Pennsylvania. One of the most prominent examples lican seeming-predilection for scandal during the of the new Democrats is North Carolina Congress- preceding election period. In fact, exit poll data col- man Heath Shuler, a devout Southern Baptist and lected by CNN suggest that Washington corruption former NFL quarterback. But one candidate, Jason was a determinant for many voters, Altmire from with 41% of those surveyed calling Pennsylvania’s the issue “extremely important.” It 4 t h D i s t r i c t , was cited more frequently than Iraq just north of (35%) or national security policy my hometown (39%). The war, though, was clearly of Pittsburgh, a close second and, when combined can serve as our with terrorism worries, easily sur- case study of passed corruption concerns. this larger phe- This trinity of influential issues nomenon. produced a formidable force that A l t m i r e ’s swept the GOP out of Congress. previous mo- It is not surprising that the Demo- ment in the na- crats took advantage of Iraq and tional political corruption to rouse their base and spotlight had sway independent voters. What is been his mem- surprising is that among voters who Leading Couple: Pelosi and Reid are now in charge. bership in Pres- found terrorism either “extremely ident Clinton’s important” or “very important,” nearly half – more Task Force on National Health Care Reform. He than 48% – favored the Democrat in House races. pitched his health care experience to a region with a This could be attributed not to a national attitudinal large proportion of senior citizens, but a look at his shift toward a liberal, conciliatory foreign policy, but stances on the issues and the breakdown of the elec- rather to the shift of the Democratic Party, through tion results suggests that the people of southwestern carefully-chosen candidates, toward the conservatism Pennsylvania elected to national office not an elitist of the American people. liberal but a local moderate. This new strategy appeared across the nation. A liberal Democrat cannot win the Pennsylvania A host of moderate to conservative Democrats was 4th. Although partially Democratic, the district is
10 · The Princeton Tory April 2007 NATION & WORLD imbued with traditional values, particularly in its to Democratic form, he favors a degree of stem-cell rural communities and steel towns. To win here a research and, more importantly, has repudiated the candidate must project conservative values. President on Iraq and announced that “our current Previously represented by three-term conserva- Congress has been engulfed by scandal.” tive Republican Melissa Hart (who was supposed to These traditional, family values presented them- win reelection with relative ease), the district is an selves time and again in the literature of many of eclectic mixture of white-collar suburbs surrounding the victorious Democrats. Their wins, like Altmire’s, Pittsburgh, blue-collar steel towns along the Ohio were the result not of a wave of liberalism sweeping River, and rural communities along Pennsylvania’s the nation, but of well-chosen, likable candidates western border. It has been represented by both identifying more completely with the people than Democrats and Republicans during its short existence their seemingly aloof GOP counterparts. but remains So what does all this mean for the Democratic f u n d a m e n - and Republican parties? What about for conserva- tally conser- tives? And how will 2006 affect 2008? vative. The midterm elections, although a landslide for H a r t the more liberal party, shifted the nation’s political c o m f o r t - center of gravity rightward. The election of moderate ably won the Democratic Maryland Congressman Steny Hoyer as suburbs and majority leader, as opposed to Pennsylvania’s Pelosi- exurbs that backed John Murtha, showed the significant rift make up the between the party’s liberal leadership and its increas- eastern por- ingly conservative membership. This schism will tion of her only expand as the Democratic congressional class district. In of 2006 continues its work on the floor. the north and Whereas the Democrats have moved to the right, Republican Senate Minority Leader Mitch west, howev- the Republican Party has remained politically un- McConnell. Is he up to the challenge? er, where the changed. Not especially conservative, those Repub- union mental- licans who lost their seats were tainted by scandal, ity of the steel mills and the economic populism of opposed by a particularly strong candidate, or simply the Roosevelt coalition still drive local politics, she blindsided. House Republicans, though, unwisely was doomed by her ties to a distant, seemingly cor- kept their leadership intact, even after the repu- rupt and disdain- diation of the ful Washington The midterm elections, although a landslide for the more people. While regime. liberal party, shifted the political balance rightward it is true that Jason Altmire Hastert has won the two counties of the northern and western stepped down from power, the numbers two and quadrants of the district by twenty and sixteen points. three GOP representatives, John Boehner and Roy In 2004 those same two counties were split, with Blunt, have moved to the party’s current top posi- each presidential candidate winning one by a small tions: minority leader and whip. margin. As much as breathless Democrats might An influx of moderate Democrats, strictly politi- attribute such a victory to some monumental shift cally, does not seem to be good news for the GOP. in popular politics, it was the appeal of a moderate These popular moderates, along with the party they candidate that won the 2006 election. represent, will be more difficult to brand in future According to his campaign website, Altmire is elections as out-of-touch liberals. Candidates like pro-life on abortion and strongly supports gun rights, Altmire and particularly Shuler, barring significant increased border security, English as the national political bumbling on their part, should be able to language, a balanced federal budget and “a strong take up permanent residency in Washington. national defense” to combat terrorism – “the top for- For conservative voters, though, the Democratic eign policy issue facing this country.” However, true Party looks much more appealing than it did a few
April 2007 The Princeton Tory · 11 NATION & WORLD months ago. Moderates will applaud the likely dent. He may be able to work around his abortion passage of the President’s immigration bill, which stance by pledging to support strict constructionist favors a comprehensive solution that includes a guest- Supreme Court justices since, sadly, the power to worker program and a path to citizenship for current effect change in the most basic facets of American illegal aliens, in addition to increased border security. moral culture lies in the laps of nine democratically Although hostile to the administration on Iraq, most unaccountable justices. 2006 Democrats eschew full withdrawal and support The Democratic Party, on the other hand, has yet fighting until stability is assured. Most exciting for to put forward a candidate with both the charisma fiscal conservatives, a balanced budget is a signifi- and the potential for broad-based support that Giu- cant plank in liani presents. It the platforms What is surprising is that among voters who found terrorism is unlikely that of these new either “extremely important” or “very important,” nearly half either Hillar y D e m o c r a t s . – more than 48% – favored the Democrat in House races. Clinton or Bar- They promise rack Obama will to pull the purse strings more tightly than their GOP be able to expand their political base beyond the predecessors. constraints of their party; neither, barring either In order to regain power in 2008, the Republi- extraordinary political maneuvering or significant can Party must shake off the scandalous image that setbacks in Iraq, will be able to motivate the moderate doomed it this year. No matter how conservative conservatives to punch their ticket on Election Day. the country is now, the voters will elect a liberal If policy wonk Joe Biden can harness his charisma Democrat who appears honest long before electing and present an intelligent proposal on Iraq, he may a moderate Republican whose party is tainted by have the best chance to assuage the security concerns scandal. This is the most frightening possibility of the average American. for 2008: that a liberal Democrat like New Mexico So, while the last election appeared disastrous Governor Bill Richardson, or even Hillary Clinton, for the GOP, the party should hold onto the White wins a lesser-of-two-evils election. House in 2008 and regain the Congress on the coat- More likely, the fundamental conservatism that tails of the new administration. This is contingent was demonstrated in the last election, provided scan- on strict ethical conduct over the next year and at dal has been eradicated from the GOP, will elect a least minimal progress in Iraq. The 2006 election moderate or conservative to the White House. Even cycle, though, showed that the war is affecting party in the absence of significant improvement in Iraq, a politics, not individual ideologies. savvy Republican, isolating himself from the current It also highlighted both the strength of Ameri- administration, could win the presidency. can conservatism and the weakness of the party that A Washington outsider to the congressional represents it. Whichever party strikes a tone of scandals like outgoing Massachusetts Governor Mitt moderate conservatism over the next several months Romney would be best suited for the position. Since while staying honest with the American people, as his presidential announcement, though, Romney has the Democrats did in 2006, will dominate American bolted to the right with Olympic agility. The two politics going into the second decade of the twenty- GOP candidates who receive the most media atten- first century. tion, and deservedly so, are Arizona Senator John McCain and former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani. Of the two, Giuliani presents an image that Brandon F. McGin- may better suit the American political mood. He, ley is a freshman like Romney, is a Beltway outsider. Giuliani is also from Pittsburgh, PA. extremely qualified and trusted by the electorate in He plans to major in Politics. the realm of foreign policy. If he can keep his rather liberal social opinions on abortion and gay marriage under wraps during the primary process, “America’s Mayor” would make an excellent candidate for presi-
12 · The Princeton Tory April 2007 NATION & WORLD An Army for the Long War But is it too little, too late?
Wes Morgan’10 truth of this long war: “One of the first steps we can take together,” he said, “is to add to the ranks he past few months have seen fierce debate of our military so that the American Armed Forces over the course of the war in Iraq, with are ready for all the challenges ahead. Tonight I some related discussion of the state of ask the Congress to authorize an increase in the TAfghanistan. To the generals presiding over the size of our active Army and Marine Corps by fight, however, the notions of an Iraq war and 92,000 in the next five years.” an Afghan war are alien: in Ramadi, in Paktika, To many military officers, politicians, and in Baghdad, and most recently in Somalia, the defense experts, the president’s recognition that U.S. Armed Forces are fighting what the outgo- the long war would require a significantly larger ing commander of Centcom, Gen. John Abizaid, ground combat force came as a relief. For an termed the “long war.” administration whose Pentagon has consistently The phrase “long war” has caught on rapidly advocated limiting spending on ground forces in the military; indeed, it can now be found in and relied on ad hoc measures to keep the force the official mission statements of most U.S. Army rotating through Iraq at a reasonable strength, combat brigades. The idea, if not the term, of the admission that the Marines and particularly a protract- the Army are simply not big enough e d , d i r t y for the job was startling and signifi- f i g h t , a cant. Nevertheless, this shift in course “slog,” as almost certainly comes too late. While D o n a l d the larger pool of forces will be avail- Rumsfeld able in years to come and will no doubt once said both increase worldwide U.S. military before rap- readiness and benefit the struggle in idly swal- Afghanistan, 2007 will be the decisive l o w i n g year in Iraq, and of the new units about his words, to be built, the first will not be deploy- h a s a l s o able until 2009 at the earliest. b e e n e n - It is worth noting that neither dorsed by now, as fighting rages in Iraq and Af- the White ghanistan, nor once the coming troop House: in increase is complete, will the Army be his State of particularly large compared to its his- the Union The new secretary of defense has a long, hard slog ahead of him, torical strength. Analogies are often a d d r e s s but is hoping an enlarged army will turn Iraq around. made between the long war and the this Janu- Cold War, yet in 1989, at the peak of ary, President Bush declared to Congress that the service’s Reagan-era buildup, the active duty “The war on terror we fight today is a generational Army comprised fifty-six combat brigades. (Bri- struggle that will continue long after you and I gades and regiments, 3,000 to 4,000 soldiers or have turned our duties over to others.” Marines strong, are viewed as the basic building A few sentences later, but three years too late, blocks of ground warfare). Today there are forty- the president at long last acknowledged a basic one brigades in the force, albeit better equipped
April 2007 The Princeton Tory · 13 NATION & WORLD and more streamlined ones, and when the increase to knock down a regime or even two, it was not is completed there will be forty-eight, far short of enough to control a hostile country. During that any period in the last sixty years save the five years year, with the battles of Falluja, Samarra, and preceding the September 11 attacks, when, un- Baquba raging in Sunni territory and the Mahdi der President Clin- Army in arms in Na- ton and Secretaries jaf and Sadr City, the Perry and Cohen, Pentagon was forced the force dipped to to mass sixteen bri- a low of thirty-three gades in the country, brigades. nearly half the Army, In l a t e 2 0 0 4 , merely to keep the with the insurgency war under control. running rampant A long-term strategy and accusations that of building up the the force in Iraq size of the Army was was too small fly- then in order; some ing in Washington, retired officers such Secretary Rumsfeld as Gen. Barry McCaf- famously quipped frey certainly thought that “you go to war so and made their with the Army you Brave, courageous, and disciplined. But is it too late? views known, and the have, not the Army you wish you had.” In terms of Democratic presidential campaign that year, in a size, though, it is safe to say that when the United strange role-reversal of defense policy, agreed. In- States went to war in 2003, the Rumsfeld Penta- stead, the Pentagon embarked on a two-year-long gon did not wish it had a bigger Army, indeed, it program of unit reshufflings and reorganizations wished it had a smaller one. Until Iraq began to with the goal of building enough brigades to fight collapse in early 2004, the White House’s defense through 2007 without requiring a permanent policy was largely dominated by Rumsfeld’s doc- force increase. At its most ambitious, the plan, trine of “transformation,” favoring intelligence announced in full in mid-2005, called for an and airpower over ground forces. Before the Sep- increase of ten Army brigades, to a total of forty- tember 11 attacks, it was even reported that the three, over the next two years. While the new bri- Pentagon, in its first year of Republican gades were control since 1992, was planning to cut By the time this up-armored forty- built during the Army even further from thirty-three 2 0 0 5 , Na - eight-brigade Army is fully built and brigades to an unheard-of twenty-seven, tional Guard and in 2003 Rumsfeld and a variety of trained, the battle for Iraq will almost u n i t s w e r e active and retired generals skirmished certainly already have been won or deployed on over how small a force could be sent into lost. an unprec- Iraq to depose Saddam Hussein. In the edented scale end eight brigades and four Marine regiments did to pick up the slack; then, in 2006, the new for- the job, far fewer than the Army’s off-the-shelf mations continued the fight. In 2007, the plan plans had called for. devised two years ago assumed, the new units Although the fairly small force that drove would rotate into the combat zone in smaller through the Karbala Gap to Baghdad that April numbers as a drawdown began in Iraq. may temporarily have seemed to vindicate Now, in 2007, the inadequacies of the 2005 “transformation” to a smaller, lighter Army, the plan are painfully obvious. First, building bri- events of 2004 provided strong evidence even to gades by shifting and reorganizing instead of Secretary Rumsfeld and his admirers that while actually expanding the Army’s end-strength and a thirty-three-brigade Army might be enough equipment base has created obvious problems:
14 · The Princeton Tory April 2007 NATION & WORLD unit readiness has suffered and shortages in ar- ally outspoken advocates of increasing the size mored vehicles have appeared, leading the plan of the Army and Marine Corps to achieve the to be downgraded from a ten-brigade increase to a nine-brigade increase in early 2006. Second, and most importantly, the campaigns in both Iraq and Afghanistan now seem much longer and more costly than they did in 2005, and there has been a growing realization that the U.S. is indeed in a ‘long war.’ Under the drastic overhaul in strategy that has occurred on Secretary Gates’s watch, U.S. strength in Afghanistan will have to continue to grow for the foreseeable future, while the much- maligned “surge” of troops into Baghdad under Gen. David Petraeus calls for eighteen brigades in Iraq for a year at least, more troops than have ever been in the war zone before, and, as in 2004, half of the existing Army. Worse, the number of brigades participat- Reshaping the Army by putting more boots on the ground. ing in the surge, although doubtfully enough to serve their strength they will i n t e n d e d Neither now, as fighting rages in Iraq and Afghani- need for protracted p u r p o s e , stan, nor once the coming troop increase is complete, counterinsurgency will, over will the Army be particularly large compared to its operations. The t h e n e x t historical strength. Marines, a force of year, wreak eight regiments for havoc with the past decade and the Army’s deployment and training cycle and a half, will now add a ninth, and will be replacing thoroughly deplete the nine-brigade-increase plan their Humvees with newly built, more heavily that has allowed the force to be sustained until armored vehicles. The Army, more significantly, now. During 2008, then, if the forces in Iraq will grow from its current forty brigades not just and Afghanistan are to be maintained at even by two, as planned previously, but by eight, with their current levels, let alone increased ones, the the difference made up in light infantry units, National Guard will have to step up once again, a the mainstay of counterinsurgency. More money, frightening proposition given the damage wrought too, will be devoted to “resetting” brigades after on the Guard’s readiness and recruitment by the they deploy, that is, equipping the units with new 2005 deployments. After that, the current force, armored vehicles and training them for the next although not broken as some fear, will be battered rotation. These increases will not be ad hoc mea- and badly degraded, in no shape to continue the sures taken by reshuffling existing units, either, as kind of high-stress, long-term fight that solid, they have been for the past three years; the force Petraeus-style counterinsurgency requires. itself will be growing, with 65,000 soldiers added Enter the 92,000-soldier and -Marine increase to the 512,000-strong Army and 27,000 to the the president announced this January after a 175,000-strong Corps. The force that is coming month of consultation with Secretary Gates and should be fully capable of fighting campaigns like the service chiefs. That with Secretary Rumsfeld the ones in Afghanistan and Iraq. gone the White House has so rapidly acquiesced The catch, though, is that by the time this to this large force increase is not surprising; Gen. up-armored forty-eight-brigade Army is fully Peter Schoomaker, the outgoing Army chief, and built and trained, the battle for Iraq will almost Gen. James Conway, the new Marine comman- certainly already have been won or lost. The long dant, have both in recent months been unusu-
April 2007 The Princeton Tory · 15 NATION & WORLD war will be, as the president said, “a generational whole, not just in those campaigns but in other struggle,” and at its current rate the Afghanistan ones not yet begun, there is time, decades of it. campaign will still probably be undecided and In Iraq, though, by far the theater of war where only too ready for fresh infantry brigades in a few the stakes are highest and the costs worst, there years’ time, but Iraq will not last that long: the is very little time at all. fate of that theater of the long war will be decided While some of the new brigades that the this spring, summer, Pentagon is finally and fall in the streets Some of the new brigades that the planning to build of Baghdad, and to a Pentagon is building will no doubt will no doubt be pa- lesser extent Ramadi, be patrolling the snows of the Hindu trolling the snows of as Generals Petraeus the Hindu Kush four and Odierno marshal Kush four years from now, just as ex- years from now just their twenty brigades isting units have been since 2001. as existing units have and regiments to apply been since 2001, and the “surge” and the counterinsurgency doctrine while others will find themselves in the streets of behind it. The chances of American success in other cities in other countries, though probably Baghdad, almost the entire Congress and retired on a much smaller scale, in the years ahead, those officer establishment agree, are slim, even under new brigades will have no impact on whether the leadership of the widely admired Petraeus. grey-clad U.S. soldiers or Mahdi militiamen and Not for want of effort or will, of course, nor for Sunni extremists find victory in Sadr City and Ra- want of sound doctrine, but, even now, for want madi. If the White House had reached its current of troops. The classic counterinsurgency theory decision when the unmistakable signs appeared, in which Petraeus so strongly believes calls for a when Falluja and Najaf first erupted in 2004, the surge of not just five extra brigades, all that is force available to our generals today would be a available and all that the command in Baghdad dynamic one, ready to surge and ready to win. will be able to add to the five brigades already in Instead, the decision comes now, more than five the city, but of nine, ten, or eleven, enough to years into the long war, four years into Iraq, three appreciably alter the proportions of U.S. troops years into the Sunni insurgency, and one horrific to Baghdad residents. year into the sectarian cleansing that has engulfed Under the president’s and Secretary Gates’s greater Baghdad since the Samarra bombing. For new plan, those larger numbers of combat forces Iraq, President Bush’s decision to listen to voices will be available to us, by 2010 or thereabouts. other than those of Secretary Rumsfeld and fund a In 2007, the decisive year for Iraq with the battle ground combat force built for counterinsurgency for Baghdad looming, those extra brigades and comes too late, years too late. regiments are still a long way off, their soldiers This year, and next year, and the year after and Marines not yet recruited, their training that, we will be fighting the long war with the facilities not yet constructed, and their comple- Army we have, not the Army we wish we had. ments of tanks, armored fighting vehicles, and sets of carbines and Kevlar vests not yet on the manufacturing lines. In Afghanistan, where U.S. units have been fighting a steady campaign for Wes Morgan ‘10 is a more than five years now and where NATO is freshman from Water- town, MA. He is a resi- only beginning to enter the fray, there is time; dent of Forbes College the pace of the conflict there is slow and decisive and hopes to major in tipping points like Falluja or the coming set of military history sweeps in Baghdad rarer. In the Horn of Africa as well, where small elements of U.S. ground forces have begun to operate to great effect in the past year, there is time. In the long war as a
16 · The Princeton Tory April 2007 NATION & WORLD
WWII as covered by the media of 2007 the demise of a Frenchman with pears increasingly in conversa- Brian Brown’07 whom they were sharing a ninth tion. Many believe the war was bottle of burgundy. There have started on false pretenses, with Paris – August 25, 1944 been rumors of similar atrocities President Roosevelt citing WMDs across the area, and human rights and Hitler’s ability to disrupt the French citizens lined the roads organizations have vowed an in- region. This Times reporter has as Allied troops entered the city vestigation. seen no sign of the fabled V-2 today. Many were holding roses rockets from his hotel window, or and calling to the troops as they Paris - December 4, 1944 even from the bar down the street. passed by. Some Americans be- And locals say the American in- lieved this was a good sign. How- 1,347 more American troops terference has disrupted things far ever, not all were pleased by the died today as fighting continued more than Hitler ever did. turn of events. “ The Germans main- Berlin - June 7, 1945 t a i n e d o rd e r ; t h e A l l i e s The Germans maintained order; the are invaders,” said a local Allies are invaders,” said a local O n e m o n t h h a s p a s s e d citizen, who wished to re- citizen, who wished to remain anony- since Truman declared the main anonymous. She said end of major combat in she feared the chaos that Germany, but violence con- would follow the loss of the Vi- to rage across France. Many died tinues to disrupt life. Five Ameri- chy government’s power. She also at the hands of Germans along can soldiers were killed by a unit explained that in French culture, the Rhine. Two were reportedly of SS insurgents in Austria, and roses are given at funerals and in- killed by a roadside bomb while 12 more died when their truck sisted that the crowds were really driving their jeep on patrol in the crashed into the vehicle of a Ger- telling the soldiers to go home. streets of Paris. man civilian. As Allied troops continued “The people hate us,” said an More and more Americans t o o p e r a t e i n t h e a re a , t h e re exhausted MP (name withheld on say they are dissatisfied with the were several reports of civilian request) after a day on patrol in American presidents’ handling of deaths. Two American soldiers the city. He cited an incident in the war, and rumors are beginning have been arrested in the wake of which a Frenchman had refused to surface that they got us into t o s e r v e h i m war without an exit strategy. As another drink the death toll grows increasingly at the bar when catastrophic, Senate minority he ran out of leaders have introduced a non- f r a n c s . “ We binding resolution that would came in as lib- demand an immediate removal of erators but we US troops from Europe. are really just imperialists.” As the war Brian Brown is a in France drags senior from Sunny- o n i n t o i t s vale, CA. He is a politics major. s i x t h m o n t h , with no end in sight, the word European multilateralists. Also poorly applied Singer’s bioethics. “quagmire” ap-
April 2007 The Princeton Tory · 17 THE LAST WORD Slander and Retreat The Observer’s Antics and Nassau Hall’s Feckless Response
Rick Morgan ’09 apparently felt that the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune Yet another February draws to a close, and The Princeton had unjustly descended upon him, the Observer resorted to Tory has experienced a changing of the guard. The former pub- unethical journalistic trickery to publish a near libelous “exposé” lisher, Juliann Vikse, after an admirable tenure, has passed the of the eating clubs. Printing unsuspecting students’ names, reins into the steady and sure hands of Matt Schmitz. Likewise, including a damning photo of two Cottage members with the the previous writer of the Last Word, Will Scharf, has moved faces only barely shadowed over, and using one-sided sources, on. I hope the future writers of this column live up to the high Observer reporter Spencer Morgan (no relation to this article’s standards he set for it. author) did everything he could to portray Princeton’s eating clubs As students across campus were settling into the rhythm of in as unflattering a light as possible. a new semester, Princeton’s sophomores were finally beginning One obvious question that should be asked in light of the to recover from the exhilarating rush of eating club bickers and media’s interest in our campus’s events is why a journalist would initiations festivities. For the first two weeks of spring semester, see our culinary institutions as newsworthy subjects. Perhaps it classes and problem sets receded into the distant corners of our was simply a slow news day, perhaps the New York Times grew consciences, and all our thoughts were directed towards the ru- bored of trading national security secrets for quick journalistic mors and news emanating from our beloved Prospect Avenue. gratification, or perhaps the Observer was worried that their This year, while veteran revelers of each club meandered around coverage of the Anna Nicole Smith “story” was starting to lose campus welcoming their new initiates, our university’s arcane and reader appeal. (In case you didn’t hear, she died.) Speaking of sacred traditions drew more scrutiny than the mere silent scorn which, the only story which could possibly rival the patently of Nassau Hall. This year, the year of our Lord 2007, was the absurd un-newsworthy nature of a story about Princeton eat- year the media decided that the inner-workings of the Princeton ing clubs is the macabre marathon of national coverage of the eating clubs were worthy of national attention. drug-addled, attention-seeking model’s tragic passing. However The antics of the so-called professional media started when a interesting these issues may be, the dilapidated and pitiful state New York Times reporter attempted to embed herself into Tower of our national media is a discussion for another time Club’s pickups and pho- A more important question for those of tograph the event for When the eating clubs look bad in the press, it makes all posterity, or at least the us at Princeton is why next morning’s educa- of Princeton look bad. If the university allows the media to the administration re- tion section. Fortunately, portray the eating clubs as elitist, sexist, and racist, like it or not, sponded so meekly to the members of this fine that portrayal will be brought to bear on Princeton itself. the Observer’s encroach- club were not fooled by ments upon our campus. the ruse. The reporter When approached by was driven from the raucous shaving-cream welcome of those reporter Spencer Morgan, Princeton spokesperson Cass Cliatt lucky greenhorns who successfully completed bicker by chanted flatly responded that “the university does not regulate the eating refrains of “no f---ing comment!” and “Wall Street Journal! clap- clubs…. The clubs are managed and operated by their member- clap-clapclapclap.” ship. It’s important to understand they’re independent establish- But the media would not be deterred. With the New York ments, similar to a restaurant.” Times beaten back and in dismayed disarray, the New York Ob- Yes, technically, this is true. The university does not run or server stepped into the breach to enlighten New Yorkers and the manage the eating clubs, and there are a slew of reasons why this world about the crucial events occurring on the sleepy avenue is a good standard policy. This university’s administrations have south of Nassau Street. With the help of a failed Ivy bickeree who always seen the clubs as potential liabilities, and the common
18 · The Princeton Tory April 2007 THE LAST WORD wisdom among the admissions staff is that their reputations for Many of the sign-ins are also unable to accept every student and elitism and quasi-racism drive away accepted applicants and lower some are excluded by a random lottery. Regardless of whether a Princeton’s yield. Therefore, instead of emphasizing Prospect’s student awaits the results of sign-in lottery or bicker club discus- pluses, the university has effectively adopted a policy of gentle sions, the clubs provide an opportunity for meeting students that disownment. See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. one otherwise simply wouldn’t have. But imagine, if you will, President Tilghman’s response if The eating club system is by no means a two-tiered hierarchy some media outlet had insulted and libeled an institution like the with the bicker clubs on top and the sign-in clubs below. Most LGBT Center or an ethnic student association. There is no doubt people choose their sign-in club without having already been that the response would have been aggressive and even pugna- hosed, and these other five clubs are every bit as good as the bicker cious, and the offending media source, denounced as bigoted clubs (though Charter is clearly the grandest of them all). There and close-minded. In the opinion of this author, such a response is something for everyone on Prospect Avenue, and instead of would have been not only justified, particularly if the media’s use buying into false stereotypes, the university should embrace the of sources were as unprofessional and unethical as the Observer’s, positive qualities of the eating clubs, which are here to stay. but also vitally necessary to maintaining Princeton’s prestige. While the administration and the various Deans can frown Princeton’s worth is determined in large part by how people on what they see as the decadence and depravity emanating out- perceive this school. However accurate our more nobly human- wards from Prospect Avenue, unless they intend on implementing istic hopes for it might be, a Princeton diploma is a product. And a gung-ho program of prohibition and mandated temperance, just like any company, this university must protect its product’s drinking is here to stay. For all their faults, eating clubs serve a image by protecting its own. The fact is, even though the eating purpose far beyond mere outlets for eating. Instead of a plethora clubs do not officially belong to the university, they are insepa- of frat houses, hazings, illicit in-dorm drinking, etc., you’ve got rable from Princeton, even finally warranting financial aid from the bulk of a university’s underage drinking isolated to a location a begrudging administration. When the eating clubs look bad off-campus but not so far away that driving is involved, controlled in the press, it makes all of Princeton look bad. If the university by bouncers and club officers, and accessible to EMTs in worst- allows the media to portray the eating clubs as elitist, sexist, and case scenarios. In addition, most of the club drinking is confined racist, like it or not, that portrayal will be brought to bear on to beer rather than hard liquor, and any inebriated (or sober) Princeton itself. activity is channeled into dancing and conversations under the Could it be that the administration’s disdain for the eating supervision of peers and officials clubs blinded them to this fact? It is no surprise that many of When the failed Ivy bickeree spilled forth his alleged Nassau Hall’s lofty officeholders sympathize in some ways with grievances to the New York Observer, he was playing the role of the Observer reporter and his wannabe Ivy interlocutor. For such the naïve fool who was manipulated by an opportunistic reporter loose-lipped gumshoes, eating clubs generally, and the bicker with an axe to grind. In this case, the reporter probably set out process in particular, are anachronistic vestiges of an evil past that with the intention of vilifying the eating clubs, and used the would long ago have perished in the name of progressivism were emotional immaturity and raw disappointment of one young it not for tirelessly retrograde alumni and student supporters. Or man to lend his article an aura of objectivity. Sadly, the Tilgh- the clubs inspire a jealous resentment born from the desire to man administration allowed this amateurish act of journalistic also be on the inside. mud-racking to go uncontested. For potential applicants, the But are the bicker clubs elitist? Well, they are at least selective. negative portrayal of the eating clubs will only serve to reinforce Of the ten fine dining establishments lining the Street, five use the untrue stereotypes of this university that the administration a selective bicker process to admit students who they feel would should be working to counter. Perhaps next time Tilghman and contribute the most to their club. Anyone who chooses to apply her cohorts will defend the institutions and traditions that truly to bicker must surely realize that his admission will be determined define the Princeton experience, for those both inside and outside by the club’s members. The embittered Ivy bickeree who aided our campus community. and abetted the Observer’s ambush journalism should have ac- Rick Morgan is a soph- cepted that he was submitting himself to petty Ivy judgments and omore from Vero Beach, taken his rejection in stride, instead of viewing it as a personal FL. He is a history insult worthy of media attention. major and a member of the esteemed Princ- The foundation of the Observer’s weird voyeurism is an un- eton Charter Club. He spoken belief that somehow the bicker clubs--anythinge elite, in serves as the Production fact--are better. This is simply untrue, and for a couple of reasons. Manager of The Tory.
April 2007 The Princeton Tory · 19