From the Publisher THE PRINCETON The Underside of Old Nassau TORY Princeton’s presidents April 2007 have always mounted the Chapel’s Volume XXIV - Issue IV pulpit to let off steam. Princeton’s early leaders started a tradition Publisher Matthew Schmitz ’08 of denouncing whatever plagued Editor in Chief Senior Managing campus, with the devil and dandy- Sherif Girgis ’08 Editor ism receiving the heaviest censure. Jordan Reimer ’08 During the Opening Exercises for Production Manager Financial Manager the freshman Class of 2008, Pres- Rick Morgan ’09 Matt Martin ’08 ident Shirley Tilghman detected Managing Editors Production Team a different threat to student well- Emily Peña’09 Brendan Lyons ’09 being. Tilghman feared that the Leon Furchtgott ’09 Julius Dimas ’09 Princeton-based novel The Rule Publisher Emeritus Editor-in-Chief of Four would prompt freshmen Juliann Vikse ’08 Emeritus Christian Sahner’07 prompt freshmen to search for the campus ‘steam tunnel’ system, and so she told the newly-arrived class, Staff Writers “You can just forget about looking for those steam tunnels -- they don’t exist!” This statement, it should be noted, was false. But during that Mike Alonso ’07 Johnny Love ’09 Whitney Green ’07 Andrew Malcolm ’09 tightly-scheduled orientation week, few of us had time or inclination Adam Litterman ’07 Wyatt Yankus ’09 to determine whether there was a labyrinth lying beneath our feet or a Matt MacDonald ’07 Jose Alicea ’10 Arielle Gorin ’08 Jonathan Extein ’10 president lying to our faces. After all, there were girls and goals to chase; Brian Extein ’08 Brandon McGinley ’10 we were barely nineteen. David Colquitt ’09 Wes Morgan ’10 Leon Furchtgott ’09 The lie that should have startled us then has since become just another unremarkable instance of administration double-speak. It is Board of Trustees hard to see what prompted that first fib, but after three years it is ap- Peter Heinecke ’87 Brian Tvenstrup ’95 parent that the University often has an interest in hiding its activities David Daniels ’89 Wickham Schmidt ’99 from students and alumni. In 2006 the Tory exposed the underbelly Anna Bray Duff ’9 Timothy Webster ’99 of campus orthodoxies and administration agendas with reports on the Peter Hegseth ’0 University’s destruction of human embryos, covert funding of anti-re- The Princeton Tory is a journal of conservative and ligious programming, and bizarrely elitist affirmative-action initiative. moderate political thought written, edited and produced This year we will continue to dig up dirt and, perhaps, produce a few by Princeton University students and delivered free of charge to all Princeton students and faculty. The Princeton gems in our continuing mission of showing our readers the underside of Tory is a publication of The Princeton Tory, Inc. Opinions Old Nassau. expressed herein are those of the authors and not neces- sarily those of the editors, trustees, Princeton University, I will always look back with particular relish on one gritty, sub- or the Princeton Tory, Inc. terranean trip through the tunnels that started in the Junior Slums and The Princeton Tory accepts letters to the editor. Direct correspondence to: P.O. Box 1499, Princeton, NJ ended, of all places, in the boiler room of Icahn Laboratory. It is my 0854; or by e-mail: [email protected]. Advertise- wish that our readers will recall this year’s Tory articles with similar ment rates for The Princeton Tory can be found on the magazine’s website at www.princetontory.com. Donations satisfaction and no less surprise. Inside these pages lie forbidden lines to The Princeton Tory are fully tax-deductible. Please mail of thought and hidden facts ready for your exploration. I hope you will donations to: P.O. Box 1499, Princeton, NJ 0854. 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Matthew Schmitz ’08 Copyright © 005, The Princeton Tory, Inc. · THE PRINCETON TORY APRIL 2007 THE PRINCETON TORY April 2007 www.princetontory.com IN THIS ISSUE: POINTS AND PUNTS 4 The Left fumbles again CAMPUS 6 Freshman Disorientation: It’s time to reform the Writing Program 8 Taking Tiger Mountain Princeton professors face censorship from China WORLD 10 Minority Right The electoral future of the Republican party 13 An Army for the Long War Too little, too late 17 Times Select[ive] Brian Brown does the newspaper of record THE LAST WORD 18 Slandering the Grand, Blaming the Shameless It’s time for the administration to embrace the clubs APRIL 2007 THE PRINCETON TORY · FROM THE EDITORS POINTS & PUNTS HE ORY ACKLES THE EWS T T T N NYU’s chaplaincy, Latif has a reputa- racy.” This commendable rhetoric is Christians at Princeton enjoy tion for defending Muslim interests in line with American public opin- the attention of thirteen University- and working closely with Jewish lead- ion and Bush’s foreign policy. If only recognized chaplains, but apparently ers. His record was marred, though, these sentiments were truly reflective for Jewish students, even two is too by an incident where he organized of Obama’s convictions. The pro-Pal- many. President Tilghman fumbled opposition to a roundtable discussion estinian website Electronic Intifada on religious freedom last month by and display of the Danish cartoons. relates that the senator used to attend barring Chabad, a Jewish ministry, Latif condemned the event in a let- many Palestinian and Arab-American from gaining official status as a cam- ter sent to Muslim political groups: community events in Chicago includ- pus chaplaincy. Rabbi Eitan Webb “…these cartoons are inherently racist ing a May 1998 community fundrais- was denied recognition despite his and Islamophobic and offer no contri- er at which Edward Said was the key- active and dynamic representation of bution whatsoever to the discussion. note speaker. In 2004 he apologized a distinctive brand of Judaism. Til- Their only purpose is to insult Islam for his pro-Israeli sentiments, stating ghman justified her decision by cit- and incite hatred against Muslims. I “I’m sorry I haven’t said more about ing a University priority of running doubt that NYU would ever want to Palestine right now, but we are in a all Jewish activities out of the CJL. be associated with anti-Semitic carica- tough primary race. I’m hoping when The Score: Christianity 13, Judaism 1, tures mocking Jews and Judaism or rac- things calm down I can be more up religious freedom, 0. ist caricatures mocking black people.” front.” Referring to Chicago Tribune When one sees a plastic In light of his high-profile objection columns critical of Israeli and US blonde dressed in a slip stranded on to the Mohammed cartoons, it is hard policy, he encouraged their author: the Frist Lawn, it’s usually just anoth- to imagine what appeals to Latif in a “Keep up the good work!” While er casualty of the notorious Cottage book that claims that Christ fathered the US can arguably use a politician lingerie night. This time, though, a child and the Catholic Church is a who brings a new perspective to the the busty babe (who was bound to deeply violent patriarchal conspiracy. Middle East peace process, we defi- a chair) was actually a blow-up doll. One possible explanation is that Latif, nitely don’t need another pandering The doll was placed by Princeton Pro- like so many others, overlooked Dan politician who doesn’t have the au- Choice Vox in order to protest the so Brown’s anti-Christian, anti-Catholic dacity to state what he truly believes. called “gag rule” that prevents Ameri- screed for the sake of his shimmering, On February 26, 2007, the ca from performing abortions abroad. lyrical prose. The probability that Mr. New York Observer published an The campy bindings and slip were Latif is simply a connoisseur of the “undercover” article on the Princeton no doubt meant to be sexually sug- finest literature is enhanced by his eating club scene, sardonically pro- gestive, suggesting in turn that pro- selection of Mitch Albom’s The Five claiming, “They’re keepin’ it classy abortion Princetonians are clinging People You Meet in Heaven as anoth- over at the Ivy League’s New Jersey to their view of women as politically er favorite. Maybe it’s time to buy my outpost.” The Observer, one may re- and sexually desperate. Vox’s victim- chaplain a copy of The Satanic Verses? call, was recently purchased this sum- ized vixens, indeed. Never underestimate the mer by Jared Kushner, a Harvard grad Khalid Latif loves The Da power of the almighty campaign featured in Daniel Golden’s The Price Vinci Code. The anti-Christian novel contribution. On March 2, Barack of Admission: How America’s Ruling is currently listed under the “Favorite Obama, at a speech to the Ameri- Class Buys Its Way into Elite Colleges Books” section on the Facebook.com can Israel Public Affairs Commitee (2005), for being an “unusual choice” profile of Princeton’s Muslim chap- (AIPAC) in Chicago argued that for Harvard to offer admission, be- lain.